#disappointing my parents

[lemons-with-salt]

Sometimes I look in the mirror with my mullet and my sunglasses that I wear indoors and I think to myself…

What the fuck am I doing?

Then I realise that I was a failure from birth and continue my life as it was designed to be, nothingness for ever and ever, because nothing really matters…

[witch-of-the-hazelwoods]

"I am not a disappointment I am a tragedy"

-A strangely powerful quote from my friend

[divorcedfiddleford]

hold shifty gentle like hamburger

[try-set-me-on-fire]

brother’s keeper

[younswnn]

[Nat and her daughter (Y/n) on parents day at school.]

Teacher : Okay! Now, how about words that ends with -ie!

Student 1 : Sweetie!

Student 2 : Cutie!

Teacher : Those are very good! Anyone else?

Y/n, without looking up, brushing her Barbie’s hair with a strange smile : Die.

Teacher : [looks at Natasha]

Nat, getting weird looks from the other parents, trying to save the situation : Or you could say Barbie, Y/n.

Y/n whilst taking off her Barbie’s head : Die.

[rodeodeparis]

trump winning mostly due to channeling the economic concerns of american voters into a better campaign (and probably also a few bomb threats) being blamed by hardline dems on arab/muslim/jewish voter treachery is pretty medieval europe coded i have to say

[headcanonenthusiast]

Valeria Garza NSFW headcanons. 

This was made with fem readers in mind.

Also quick note, I apologize in advance if this isn't as detailed as my headcanons on some other characters. It was definitely harder for me to come up w/ stuff for Val, especially bc girlie is nowhere near one of my favorites (I'm sorry 😔) but what better way to expand on writing then doing headcanons of characters you rarely think about? So, without further ado, I hope you enjoy! 

(I completely understand that this type of content is not everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok! But, please scroll and ignore if this type of content isn't your thing as opposed to leaving any sort of negative comments.)

NSFW under the cut.

-THE brat tamer.

-Absolutely will not take your shit if you disobey her in any way, shape or form. 

-"What did you just say to me? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" 

-Gets this look of absolute disbelief on her face if you dare to act like a brat, then her eyes turn dark and she's suddenly dragging you to bed. 

-"I'm the woman who decides whether or not you get to cum every night, querida. And if you're gonna keep acting like a fucking brat, then it looks like you won't get to cum for the rest of the week." 

-Her favorite forms of punishment include anything to do with orgasms. Whether it be edging you, overstimulating you or even denying you the right to cum entirely, she loves making you squirm and beg to release. 

-Shakes her head and clicks her tongue, as if you begging to cum is the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard after you've misbehaved. 

-"Oh, so now you're sorry? Chica, a sorry isn't going to cut it. I warned you about acting like a little brat, but you didn't listen. You never fucking listen to me." 

-Proceeds to lecture you and switch between degrading you in English and Spanish as she either forces a strap down your throat or harshly plays with your clit. 

-"Perra estúpida. Never listening to me and then acting surprised when I don't let you cum." 

-Will also partake in bondage, cuffing up your wrists to the headboard before she runs a vibrator painfully slow over your pussy. 

-As rough as she is when it comes to sex, if you're genuinely feeling upset about something, her gaze will turn more sympathetic (which she refuses to show to anyone besides you.) 

-"What? What's wrong, amor?" 

-And you're welcome to tell her about all of your troubles while she gently eats you out. 

-Probably has multiple straps. Prefers buying the thickest one possible but she does have one that's much longer for when you really piss her off. 

-Is very willing to spoil you with new sex toys and lingerie. Anything to make her pretty girl happy. 

-Also, I feel like she'd switch between wanting to see you touch yourself and not letting you at all. 

-When she's not there with you, she probably encourages you to masterbate and send her tons of videos of you doing so.

-But, if she's actually there and catches you touching yourself, it won't be pretty. 

-"Oh, can I not satisfy you enough anymore? Is that it?" 

-Then she fingers you so well your legs are shaking as she rants. 

-"Look at you, cumming just from my fingers. What a slut."

-"And you really thought you could make yourself cum the same way I do? No, no, estás loca por pensar eso, querida." 

-She wants anything sexual to be completely dependent on either her or toys she picks out for you. 

-In other words, very dominant. 

-In other other words, if you ever asked or God forbid tried to make her submit, you're a dead woman. 

-"Thats it. You're getting too fucking bratty for your own good. Get over my Goddamn lap right now if you know what's good for you." 

-And when you are on her lap, she'll switch between spanking your ass and spanking your pussy. 

-Leaves hickeys on the most visible spots on purpose. 

-Smirks when you get all shy about it, gently brushing your hair away as she chuckles. 

-"Don't worry, amor. I won't make the marks too visible." 

-But then she does, so she buys you the prettiest necklace with her name engraved on it as an apology, and another reminder of who you belong you. 

-Some translations for the Spanish stuff, chica = girl, querida = darling, perra estúpida = stupid bitch, amor = love and "no, no, estás loca por pensar eso, querida" = no, no, you're crazy for thinking that, darling. 

(Also I apologize if anything in Spanish is incorrect, online translators can only get you so far 😕)

Look at me go, writing about a character I don't even like and am not even attracted to because I'm straighter than a wooden ruler 🙃

This was honestly fun to write though! Valeria takes up like 0% of my thinking space, so coming up w/ headcanons for her when I barely remember she exists nor am attracted to her at all was a bit more challenging. Hoping y'all enjoyed this! 

Rudy NSFW headcanons r coming up next, so be sure to lookout for those in the near future 🤭

[aprito]

sos month day 26: undercover / arranged marriage

based off of the tv show the americans which you should all watch btw

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

I think we should stop giving Lance family problems and instead give everyone else family problems and then drag him into all of them as universe's most unpaid and unqualified therapist. As god intended

[skeletoninthemelonland]

Now that’s a rare sight

[eyefocusing]

they mean everything to me fyi

[witch-of-the-hazelwoods]

I'm trying (very half assedly, I will admit) to do voice training, but I feel like hearing more women would help me to do it. So people with feminine voices, please send me audio clips of you saying I am loved and cared for and affirming my gender, thanks

[littlefankingdom]

I really dislike when people have Damian own wild pets, like a tiger, an elephant, or a lion, because these aren't pets, they are wild animals. And Damian is supposed to care about animal rights, that's the Al Ghul's thing, they care about animals. So, no, he shouldn't be like "Yeah, a big cat is like a house cat, it totally can live in the manor with us", he would be like "this animal has specific needs and is NOT domesticated, in the sense of being accustomed to living among humans, this is dangerous for it and for people. It's not a pet, DON'T PET IT."

My hc is that he is a Disney princess, so wild animals weirdly love him BUT he is against owning one.

[iatnen]

GANGSTA IN THE SHEETS SUBMISSIVE IN THE SHEETS IS KILLING ME 😭😭😭 seriously I love your art so much and I love the way u portray your characters. Idk if you’ve spoken about it before but what is Daniel’s family like?

ANYWAY LOVE YOUR ART AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY/NIGHT 💙🌀

VERY LATE ANSWER BUT HERE’S DANIEL’S PARENTS AND KID DAN

I think most can agree that MC would’ve most likely thought they were a Muggle or a Squib before they got their magical abilities, so yeah that’s what I did for Daniel and being born from a Pureblood family didn’t do him so good 😅

His parents weren’t really bad but not great either…… they were really excited for Dan’s enrollment to Hogwarts and did everything to prepare him to be “the greatest wizard” so it was really disappointing and embarrassing for them (especially his mama) when he was already 11 and didn’t show any signs. Supa heartbreaking for them both since they had such high expectations for their boy 😞

They still loved Dan but rlly struggled to look at him without getting a little sad and felt sorta ashamed to talk about him to other wizards/purebloods -> became more distant as he got older

Dan also became super ashamed of himself seeing his peers leaving home for Hogwarts while he’s stuck in muggle school then blah blah blah inferiority complex

Then ancient magic stuff, parents are happy but relationship is rlly strained -> Dan will visit them once in awhile on like holidays and stuff but prefers to stay at school, replies to their owls but never writes first, yknow keeping in touch but never too close 😅

But yeah that’s pretty much it I think, you can always ask for more if I missed anything you’re curious about !!! THANKYOU ANON 🫡

[lohotine]

AN: My parents walked into my room midway of me making this and asked me what I was doing- 😰 Um... enjoy?

Part 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/shmolish/746719597375504384/hi-read-your-um-possessive-shadow-milk-x-reader?source=share

Shadow Milk Cookie x GN! Reader

Oneshot (1/2)

Warnings: Suggestive scenes, marking, possessiveness, mild swearing. MINORS, DNI.

-Jealousy, jealousy-

You had been talking to someone new at the theater. They were naturally charming, and you couldn't help but laugh at their jokes, and smile at how they spoke.

He was obviously in love with you, but for some reason, you didn't notice.

Those hungry eyes should be obvious to anybody, though.

Little did you know, someone else had been watching the entire time.

A certain blue jester, gazing and silently hating from afar.

He knew he could make you laugh so much harder, smile so much wider... Make you feel so much better.

Surely you hadn't forgotten about him.. right?

If you did... he would just have to remind you.

You were finished talking to that person soon enough, and Shadow Milk took this as the perfect opportunity to reunite with you!

"Hello doll. Been having fun without me?" He had that normal smile on his face, like he always did. To any normal person, it would look like nothing was amiss...

But something was very wrong.. The fact that you were talking and smiling with somebody else. And the way he looked at you with those eyes- Shadow Milk Cookie absolutely despised it.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that." You would just smile awkwardly.

"Say... who exactly was he?" Shadow Milk would ask while taking your hand. He just started walking somewhere with you.

"Oh, just a guy I met today. He's pretty funny," you explained.

Shadow Milk nodded his head before quickly shoving both of you into a janitor closet.

"Ack, what are you-" Shadow Milk Cookie put a finger infront of your lips, promptly sushing you. His old smile was replaced with a more sinister and stern look.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He would take both of your hands and pin them above your head, and you could feel his breath on your neck as he moved closer to it.

"What is this for..?" You'd ask him, breath hitching as he sent butterfly kisses along the side of your neck.

"Doll, you're so oblivious that it hurts."

You could feel him begin to nip at the skin on your neck.

"You seriously didn't notice how he was looking at you?"

You would let out some quiet mewls before responding.

"I guess not-"

He bit down hard on your neck, to which you immediately whined at.

"Doll, you have to be quiet. I know you can take it~ And besides, you wouldn't want someone to hear us, right?" He would ask teasingly. You knew he had that shit-eating grin on his face.

You would shake your head and try your best to stay quiet.

"Struggling, are we? I don't see why. I've been much rougher with you before..."

He would continue sucking and biting at your neck, leaving you no time to rest.

"I guess it's entertaining though."

He moved his other free hand to slowly trail down your side, only stopping to be placed firmly around your waist. He pulled your bodies closer together, yet to him, it was never quiet close enough.

At this point, you were practically melted under his touch, and your legs were trembling.

He had told you time and time again to not be so loud... but it really couldn't be helped.

Purple and red bite marks were dotted all over you neck. There was no hiding all of them..

Shadow Milk would take his knee and nudge between your legs slightly.

"Dove, why don't we take this to the bedroom?

Fin ☆

Uh, if you guys want more, just request- 👀

[vaguely-concerned]

how I like to imagine lucanis is feeling about being dragged along to the grand necropolis every other day in this playthrough... it's about the duality of

all the walking dressed up skeletons and other assorted body parts strewn around: undeniably kind of bad and creepy. how the fuck is it so cold and windy down here all the time rook is just a slip of a thing how are they not shivering constantly. should I get him a nice warm scarf or would that be against his sense of swag as a watcher I am currently being made to think way too much about spirit possession (these weirdos seem to think it can be benign???? it does NOT feel benign). someone might have worked very hard to get those bones to lie still and dead on the ground it seems disrespectful to that hard work to make the bones get back up again and dance a jig like this. is all I'm saying

vs.

hearing rook speak to spirits and wayward wisps with kind calm authorativeness and care and generally show a whole new side of competence and knowledge they've kept close to the chest so far: ...this better not awaken anything in me (challenge failed)

(rook who's anxiously trying to gauge if the skeletons are going to be a dealbreaker fondly reminiscing 'oh I had my first kiss over there by the van markham mausoleum from the latter part of the steel age actually' and lucanis having to admit 'this does explain some things about you'. there must be some kind of comfort in feeling like you're too removed from the normal human experience anymore to connect with someone only to find that the person you're growing a terrible crush on had barely ever seen the sun until the age of like 34 and thinks this place is the height of normalcy. lucanis' broody line where he's like 'I only know death' and ingellvar both meaningfully and amusedly raising their eyebrows like 'yeah? uh-huh? please, say more' fhdskjaf. i'm sorry you've had your freak matched lucanis I'm sure it's a bit disorienting but we'll figure this out together yet. two little death dudes sitting in a tree k i s s i n g and also trying to figure out the 'life' part of things together)