#directly before that and i was just letting her vent so? i thought i was like giving her space to do whatever she wanted to do

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 25)

“What…?” Was the first word out of Uzi's mouth after he had told her what he saw, she had been setting up a temporary workshop in what would eventually be Tera's own room. But since she was set up in the bedroom for now, it was free until she graduated from the recharge crib.

“I know h-how it sounds, but there's a weird creepy flesh moss in Doll's room!” He made a pulsing motion with one of his hands and the other was held close to his face.

Uzi blinked, setting down her toolbox on the desk as she seemed to process that information, her eyelights glancing to the side.

“Alright, let's go check it out.” She hummed, looking unphased. She cracked her artificial knuckles, the gaskets discharging pressure as she started to walk towards the door.

“W-wait what?, No! We should just leave it alone right!? I was just-” He grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her back around to face him.

“N all the apartments have vent access, if there's something… solver-esque in the bunker, it can't be left to do… whatever it's doing.” She gently pushed him away, crossing her arms as she made her argument.

Right… he hadn't thought of that…

“Mmm… I don't want you going there. Every time something freaky happens someone always gets hurt…” He softened his tone, looking at the floor instead of her eyes for a moment.

“N…” She started, before closing the gap between them, literally interrupting his staring contest with the floor by grabbing his attention with her eyes. “Hey, look. I'm not fragile, you know that. Plus-” Her tail came to brush against his chin, bringing his head up to look at her more directly “I'm more like you now, remember?”

“I know. But why put ourselves in danger? We have Tera, she shouldn't be at risk of… losing one or both of us.” As her tail pulled away, so did she, and they both looked into the bedroom, where Tera was sleeping soundly.

“Tera's the reason we should be, the bunker needs to be safe for her, and I wouldn't rest right if I knew some tentacle could grab her from the vents while we're asleep or something.” She replied, still looking into the doorway, her hand gripped her arm, squeezing it as a way to comfort herself.

“I-I Yeah, yeah you're right. I still don't want you to go alone- maybe I could have Khan watch her while- uh.” She shook her head, and one of her hands swiftly took one of his, cutting him off by inducing a light blush.

“You stay here and be a good dad. I'll take V. She's probably itching to fight something.” Uzi replied with a smirk, breifly rubbing her thumb into the back of his hand before pulling away.

“B-but, Uzi.” Or she would have if N had let her, instead he gripped her hand tightly, making her turn back and look at him as he spoke.

“She won't hurt me, N.” She reassured him with a small smile and a confident smirk “She's no match for me if she tried.” (That probably wasn't true, she'd caught V off guard the first time, but N didn't need to know that)

“No just… be safe, please.” He pleaded, doing the same to her hand as she had done to him; rubbing soft circles into the back of her hand with his thumb.

It was still a little strange for the both of them, these small displays of affection that both seemed to come naturally and unaturally, it had them both blushing, butterflies shared between them even now.

“I-I will. And it's just sitting there right? How bad could it be?” She stammered out, ignoring her small fluster and oozing a sense of confidence.

“V!” Uzi pounded on the door right next to them as hard as she could, she didn't even know if V was home, but-

‘What?!” She screamed back as the door flung open, her claws on her hip.

“Wanna go murder a flesh tentacle with me?”

V’s eyelights went hollow for a moment before a wide grin bloomed on her face, showing off all her fangs, the “X” appeared on her visor, along with a slightly unhinged giggle.

“I'll take that as a yes, come on, it's in Doll's room.”

And so off they went, V looming beside her as they walked the halls to Doll's old room, unlike N, drones were still very much scared of V, they avoided her whenever they could, and if they couldn't, they were as nice as possible to avoid setting her off.

It felt nice to not be stared at for once, all the eyes immediately averted from both V and Uzi, almost as if V would lunge at them if they dared to make eye contact.

And it was clear V took minor joy out of spooking them, looking aloof until someone caught her attention and then flashing them her signature feral smile.

Uzi also found a little joy in watching the drones scamper off, terrified. They weren't in any real danger, V seemed to enjoy living in the bunker, and probably wouldn't risk it by killing someone for giggles.

“Cowards…” Uzi mumbled under her breath, which seemed to draw a genuine laugh from the disassembly drone beside her.

“Oh what? Like you're not scared of me too?” V replied, lacing her voice with some false (maybe?) sweetness that made her sound all the more condescending.

Uzi lifted an eyebrow and made eye contact with her, a small smug smile beginning to find its way to her face.

“No.” She said simply, continuing on her way even if V slowed down a moment, a snarl making it's way to her face.

“W-what? You should be! I still want to kill you, you know.” She growled out, pointing one of her bladed fingers at her, drawing it close to her visor, as they both walked a little faster.

“No you don't.” Uzi replied bluntly, the smirk getting wider as V seemed to get more agitated, one of her eyelights twitching.

“Yes I do!”

“No you don't. You know if you killed me N would literally never forgive you, and even though you'll say that wouldn't bother you. We both know that's a lie.” Uzi was walking backwards now, pointing at the irate disassembler, before her tone fell, breaking into a tease. “Plus, you're actually starting to like me~”

“I absolutely do not!” V lied terribly, a golden blush painting her visor as she yelled, her tail flicking behind her in irritation.

“Yeah ya do. It's written all over your face.” If Uzi could get any more smug she'd be a member of some corporate entity, she slowly turned back around, away from V, to let the girl stew in her feelings for a moment.

“I-I fuck you!” She bit, causing Uzi to snort.

“Hah!”

They reached Doll's front door, and Uzi was about to confidently stroll on in before V put a clawed hand in front of her.

“Let the warmachine go first idiot.” She said, pushing Uzi back with her clawed hand, man the pressure control it would take to not cut her…

“Awww you're so protective.” Uzi cooed, making V blush heavily (not that Uzi could see it.) And roll her eyes, grumbling.

“I will pour oil on your mattress…”

“That's such a waste.”

“Shut up!” V snapped.

V opened the door and flicked on the light without even checking if the door behind her had shut yet, her eyes roamed over the room before she picked up a cup of oil with limbs in it and swished it around.

“Gross.” Was the first word out of Uzi's mouth after she shut the door behind them, eying the chains hanging from the ceiling.

“What? Squeamish?” V mocked, yanking a limb out of one of the chains and using it to pick her teeth Ew.

“I don't throw up at your face do I?” Uzi replied back, smile etched on her face as V responded;

“Bitch!”

They both looked around the macabre display around them, Uzi locking her gaze to the burned out corpses still sitting at the kitchen table, she glanced at V, who seemed to be looking in the same direction, although with a different look than the first time they were here.

“Let's just find this thing and get out of here.” V said quietly, and Uzi could only nod, N had said it was in the bedroom, so that where she headed off to, walking past each hanging corpse without looking at them, lest she see someone she recognized.

V was close behind her, close enough she could feel the heat of her core on her back, huh, she ran a little warmer then N, still not unpleasantly so, but it was noticeable.

The doorway to the bedroom was still lit, in his rush to leave it seemed N forgot to turn off the light, both drones peered in, starting on the floor.

There was nothing, only dusty carpet and a normal bedroom.

“Think he was so hot he was hallucinating?” V suggested, side eying Uzi as they both leaned up against the same doorway.

“Nah, he wasn't that warm when he left- oh shit.”

Uzi’s eyes trailed up, eyelights going hollow as they followed a long black tendril running up against the wall and onto the ceiling, splitting into multiple smaller veins as it criss crossed across the ceiling.

“Oh…”

“Yeah I'm using the flamethrower.” One of her arms became the tip of a flamethrower, that she immediately pointed into the room, ready to fire.

“You have a- wait V!” Uzi grabbed onto her arm and forcefully pointed it down, V looked over, like she was getting impatient already.

“N said there was something under the bed, we need to check if it's still there.”

“Or we could just burn the whole room.” She suggested again, waving around the tip of her flamethrower as if it was the obvious thing to do.

“V. We need to know, if it's spread this much in just a few hours, who knows if it's still just contained in this room.” Uzi explained, gesturing to the vent beside the door that was thankfully clear of any strange growths.

“Fine. You're checking though.”

“Duh.”

She crept into the room with her tail watching her back and her own claws poking out of her fingertips, they weren't like V's or N's, they were more like a cat's, curved and sharp, made out of the same material as the caps of her fingers, and could easily break if met with enough resistance.

They were still sharp enough to go through silicone and metal.

The veins pulsed and throbbed above her, and a noise that sounded suspiciously like a heatbeat could be heard faintly, she knelt down next to the bed.

Almost as soon as she was down on the floor, her hands met wet, sticky carpet, she lifted an eyebrow and raised her hand only for the carpet the stick to her, a thick, clear mucus separating from the carpet onto her hand.

“Eugh!” Escaped her as she shook it off her hand and it splattered back onto the carpet, joining the thin layer of it spread around the bed.

She ducked quickly, using her tail as a flashlight to peer underneath the bed.

She really, really wished she'd taken V's offer sooner.

Yes, there was something underneath the bed, and while it may have resembled moss at some point it could no longer be described as such. It was a mass of wriggling flesh, pulsing and beating arythmicly, as if it was irritated. Sharp points of malformed teeth jutted out randomly, Uzi gulped.

The mass gurgled, before it formed a full, unblinking, lidless human eye. Which stared at her.

“…V.”

“Yeah?”

“Charcoal it.”

“Sure- Uzi!”

Surprised at hearing her name come out of V's mouth, she sprung up, but the action was too late, a tendril had unlatched from the ceiling and had curled around her leg in a single swift motion, hoisting her up into the air by her ankle.

She yelped as she left the ground, tail coming to sink it's teeth into the black cord around her leg, her hands swiping uselessly at it, her claws not long enough to reach it's target, it also seemed immune to her venom, as it barely flinched at her tails bite.

Pain shot up her leg as the black veins began to spread across the metal rungs of her legs, it was searing, like a constant high voltage running through it, she screamed, watching as the metal began to warp and meld into the tentacle.

“V!”

V's sword came down a moment later, quickly severing the connection between her and the flesh-bed. But the veins kept spreading, down to her foot and up past her knee.

“Shit!” Uzi cursed, trying to throw off her boot and her leg warmer to assess the damage.

V quickly pointed her flamethrower at the bed and let loose, torrents of hot flame bursting out of the end of her arm and alighting it in cleaning flame, a horrid, choked scream erupted from underneath the bed as the cinders lapped up at the ancient furniture.

“F-fuck! V!” Uzi felt panic grip her core, the veins quickly climbing up her leg leaving searing pain in their wake, she felt tears prick at her eyelights as her entire body shook.

“This is gonna hurt!” V shouted, bringing up her sword above her head.

Her sword came down, severing limb from body like a hot knife, another shout of blinding pain left her mouth, but what followed was a breath of relief, the burning had stopped.

The socket was gushing oil, Uzi thought quickly and pointed V to the bathroom to grab a towel, internally, she tried to redirect all the oil to her still present limbs, and away from the hole. The fire raged on the other side of the room, Uzi crawled toward the doorway.

“Here.” V returned, with more than one towel underneath her arm, before grabbing the worker drone and immediately shutting the bedroom door behind them, the heat from the blaze still able to be felt behind the door.

“I- I got it.” Uzi took a towel and began to turn it into a rag, but she was still trembling, and she couldn't get a good grip on it, it fell out of her hands more than once.

“Sh-shit.” She cursed again, going to try to pick it up once more before V did instead, taking a step forward.

“I got it. your system is in shock.” She said, voice several times more gentle than Uzi had ever heard it. Was that pity? Oh screw that, she was fine.

“No- I” Her system lurched as another wave of dull pain washed over her, almost sending her further onto the floor.

“I got it.” V said again, switching the sword put for a normal hand.

Uzi winced as V pushed her up against the probably only clean wall in Doll's room, although her hand was gentle, she ripped up the towel in her clawed hand, before shoving each large peice into the socket.

She grunted, each shove producing a feedback loop of pain in her systems, she bit her lip, an uncomfortable whine escaped her lips as a million warnings began to pop onto her screen, low oil, hull breach, overheating.

“Breathe, you're holding your breath.” She said simply, and Uzi did what she was told with a shudder, each breath coming out labored and ragged.

V was being uncharacteristically gentle focused on the task at hand, her brow furrowed as she took quick glances at Uzi's visor to make sure she didn't go offline.

Even once she was done though, she went a step farther, trying to clean to oil off her chassis where she could, Uzi felt a shiver roll up her spine, but said nothing.

“That should stop the bleeding, how are your oil levels?” She asked, touching the binding to make sure it wouldn't come loose. Making Uzi wince once more.

“Low- but not decreasing.” Uzi replied, slowly recovering from the shock of having her limb chopped off.

“Good.”

V made eye contact with her purple eyelights, glanced down at the socket now full of oil stained towels and sighed.

“Sorry, about uh… your leg.” She looked away and up, possibly looking for another snack, or more tentacles. (Or just because she didn't want to look her in eye)

“You probably saved my life no-no worries.” Uzi reassured, looking down at her missing limb. Holy crap, that was insane.

“I probably should have just let you burn it.” She grinned dumbly, and V looked back at her and rolled her eyes.

“Duh.”

Uzi chuckled, but it was interrupted by a violent cough, she clinked her head against the wall with a groan.

“N is going to freak.” She mumbled, she could see his face now, he wouldn't ever let her leave the house without him after this…

“Probably yeah. He's gonna chew my ass out for letting you get hurt.” V laughed lightly, although it sounded pained.

“Nah, I won't let him.” Uzi replied, taking the moment to observe more of how V was feeling.

Her eyelights were still hollow, and she was glancing around the room as if one of the many corpses in the room could come to life, her tail was arched around to Uzi's side protectively, probably something V didn't know she was doing or she'd be ripping it away.

Uzi smirked, low oil or not, she just couldn't help it. V was horribly fun to antagonise.

“Told ya you liked me~” She teased, but it had no bite at all behind it, V groaned, but met her eyes with a solid blush gracing her face, she ripped her tail away.

“Shut up loser.”

Next ->

[cheynovak]

Healing Waters - pt 5

Characters: Azriel x F/Reader Y/N     

Summary:  Azriel is sent by Rhysand to the Spring Court to investigate Tamlin's erratic behavior. While spying in the woods, he comes across Y/N, an Illyrian female bathing under a waterfall. Intrigued by her beauty and shocked to see the scars where her wings should have been, he is immediately captivated.

Warnings: 18+ish.... Hurt, pain, anger, nudity, spying, aggression, ...

English is not my first language 

*This story is my own fanfiction, please do not copy my work, reblog/comments/likes are appreciated* 

Part 5/?

* Published September 13th 2024 *

** Azriel's POV **

The night stretched on, filled with restless pacing and seething anger that I couldn’t seem to shake off. The memories of Y/N's story replayed in my mind, fueling a relentless rage that I directed toward the name “Keir.” I couldn’t stand the thought of him walking free, still living while others had suffered because of his cruelty.

I couldn’t stay idle, so I sent the information directly to Rhysand. His response was quick, his promise to look into it reassuring, but he also warned me to stay away from Hewn City and Keir. He knew me well enough to anticipate my next move, and I hated that he was right.

My instincts were to hunt down that bastard and end him, but Rhys had always been the voice of reason, the one who could temper my more impulsive tendencies.

In my frustration, I let out a furious yell into the night, my voice carrying across the quiet streets. “I want to rip his head off!”

The sound of my own anger echoed back to me, amplifying the frustration I felt. Rhysand didn’t respond, and I was left alone with my thoughts until I noticed a figure standing in the distance.

Y/N was there, clad in her nightgown, her presence a stark contrast to the turmoil that had consumed me. She looked at me with a mixture of concern and something softer—maybe understanding.

The sight of her calmed me in a way I hadn’t expected. Her presence was a reminder of why I had to hold onto my promise, why my anger needed to be channeled into something more constructive.

As I approached her, she made a feeble attempt at humor, a weak smile on her lips. “So, some part of you is still Illyrian, huh? I already started to think you were to tame.”

Her comment made me chuckle despite the lingering anger. It was a gentle reminder of the calmness I was struggling to keep in check. “My temper can still be very much Illyrian,” I replied, my voice softer now, the anger receding as I looked at her.

She gave a small, shaky laugh, and I could see the fear behind her brave façade. It was a side of her I hadn’t seen before, and it made my resolve harden even further. I couldn’t let her be afraid because of what I might do. I needed to be the protector I had promised to be.

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” I said, trying to soften my tone. “I just… needed to vent.” She shook her head, her gaze steady despite the tremor in her voice. “It’s okay. I understand... I eh, used to yell at my demons too, at times.”

The sincerity in her words was like a balm to my frayed nerves. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, and nodded. “Thank you for trusting me, with those demons.”

I looked at Y/N, still standing in her nightgown, a slight flush of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. I could see that she was trying to avoid eye contact, her gaze shifting back toward the hallway and the direction of her room.

“Why are you up?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. She turned slightly, her discomfort palpable. “Eh, the bed…” she began, trailing off as if the explanation was somehow too trivial.

“What’s wrong?” I pressed gently, trying to draw her out. She looked embarrassed, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her nightgown. “It’s too soft,” she admitted, almost in a whisper.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at her confession. “I get the feeling,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “Years of sleeping on the cold, hard floor can make it difficult to adjust to a bed that feels like a cloud you’re about to fall through.”

Her eyes met mine, and despite her discomfort, a small smile tugged at her lips. It was a smile that spoke of shared understanding, a moment of connection over something as simple as an uncomfortable bed.

“I guess thats what I mean,” she said, her voice a bit more relaxed now. “I’m just not used to all this softness.”

We stood there for a moment, the night air cool around us, the tension from earlier dissipating into a comfortable ease. It was strange, but this small conversation about an overly soft bed had created a new kind of bond between us—one that was built on shared experiences and mutual understanding.

“If you need anything,” I said, my voice sincere, “just let me know.”

Y/N gave me a grateful look, her eyes reflecting a sense of relief. “Thanks, Azriel. I appreciate it.”

Hearing her say my name stirred something deep inside me, a feeling I hadn’t expected, and certainly hadn’t invited. The way Y/N's lips shaped my name sent a warmth through me that I couldn’t quite shake off. As she turned and began walking toward her room, my mind wandered, unbidden, to the image of her whispering my name again—but this time in a far more intimate setting.

I imagined her in my bed, her soft voice barely a breath against my ear as I held her close, our bodies entwined in the warmth of night. The thought sent a ripple of heat through me, and I quickly forced myself to suppress it, to keep my emotions and, more importantly, my scent from betraying me. The last thing I wanted was for her to sense what I was thinking.

But her presence… the way she smelled after living so long outdoors—like fresh earth, pine, and a touch of something uniquely her—made it difficult to keep my focus. It wasn’t the typical perfumes and floral scents most females wore. No, her scent was raw, natural, and it stirred something primal in me that I had no business entertaining.

She paused mid-step, and for a moment, I worried my control had slipped. She swallowed hard, her shoulders tensing just slightly, as if she sensed the shift in the air between us. My heart raced for the briefest moment, my mind running wild with the possibility that she might turn around and call me out.

But she didn’t.

She simply took a deep breath, gathered herself, and continued walking. There was no comment, no accusatory glance. She either hadn’t noticed, or she was kind enough to pretend she hadn’t. Either way, I was grateful.

I exhaled a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and cursed myself for letting my thoughts get away from me. This wasn’t the time or place for such distractions. Y/N had already been through enough. The last thing she needed was for me to make things awkward, or worse, let her think I had some ulterior motive, that I would be the scum that had forced himself on her.

No I needed to keep her safe, wanted to keep her here with me, where I know she's save.

** Y/N's POV **

The moment I smelled him, it took me a second to recognize the scent—a mixture of raw power, shadows, and something distinctly masculine that stirred something inside me. It had been a long time since I had been this close to an Illyrian male, and even longer since I had sensed arousal from anyone. The realization hit me just as I reached my room, and I forced myself to keep moving, though my legs suddenly felt unsteady.

I closed the door behind me, leaning back against it, my breath coming out in shaky, uneven waves. How was it possible? I’d only mentioned not being able to sleep, and yet I’d felt it, the change in his scent. The sharp edge of desire laced through the air, unmistakable. And what baffled me most was that it wasn’t unwelcome. I didn’t feel disgust or fear like I would have in the past.

I wasn’t upset.

But I was confused. My mind began to wander as I stood there, eyes closed, trying to make sense of it. Azriel—the way he looked at me, the subtle heat in his eyes that I hadn't fully registered before. I began to imagine what it would be like with him, to feel his hands on me, his body pressed against mine. For a moment, I indulged the thought, picturing slipping into his room, into his bed. What would it be like to experience something real, something not born from pain and cruelty, but desire?

I could almost feel his warmth, the gentle touch of his hands on my skin, his lips trailing down my neck as he whispered my name. The thought made something inside me stir—a strange, unfamiliar heat that I'd never associated with intimacy before.

But then, the memories crept back in, as they always did. Sex had never been about pleasure for me. It had been a tool, a weapon used against me. My body had been nothing more than a means to an end for others. The idea of it ever bringing joy or connection was foreign to me, no matter how much I wanted to believe it could be different with someone like him.

Azriel.

He seemed different—a good male, one who could offer something more. But I couldn’t bear the thought of ruining the image I had of him, of seeing him through the same lens as all the others who had used me. What if the reality didn’t live up to the fantasy? What if, in the end, he was no different?

I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts. No, no. It’s not fun, I reminded myself. It never had been. And I didn’t want to risk breaking this fragile thing between us.

I heard him. Even through the thick wood of my door, I could sense Azriel on the other side, moving about in his room. The same scent lingered in the air—desire, thick and palpable, brushing against my skin like a caress. It sent a shiver down my spine, making my legs feel unsteady, my heart pounding faster than I cared to admit.

How was he doing this to me?

My thoughts spiraled, battling between reason and impulse. Should I open the door? Should I let him in? Just for a moment, for a taste of what it could be like? I didn’t know why, but my body craved it, craved him. I hadn’t felt anything like this in so long—maybe I never had. The uncertainty gnawed at me, and I hesitated, doubting myself, doubting him.

By the time I made up my mind, my hand reaching for the doorknob, I heard his door close.

The soft click echoed down the hall, and I knew I was too late. My heart dropped slightly, disappointment settling into my chest. Still, I found myself stepping across the hall, standing just outside his door, drawn to him despite my better judgment. My hand hovered above the wood, unsure whether to knock or walk away. But instead, I leaned in, pressing my ear gently to the surface, my breath hitching as I strained to hear anything on the other side.

And then I heard it—his heavy breaths, labored and uneven, the sound of desire and restraint barely held in check. My heart thudded loudly in my chest, every beat reverberating through me as I caught his scent again. Stronger now, more potent. The way it tugged at me made my body respond instinctively, a warmth pooling deep in my stomach.

Then, in the silence of the night, I heard him murmur something under his breath, barely audible.

My name.

The sound of it slipping from his lips, filled with need, with want—it sent a shock through me. I hitched a breath, my pulse racing, and I stepped back, almost stumbling as I did. His voice, soft and raw, saying my name like that… it made me feel things I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in so long.

I stood there, frozen for a moment, torn between wanting to open the door and flee back to my room. His presence, his desire—it was so close, so tangible. But I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face what lay behind that door.

Before I could slip back into my room I heard his door open.

"Y/N?"

--

Please like, share or comment when you liked the story. If you liked this, please check out my masterlist for other stories.

Taglist: @lilah-asteria @sidthedollface2 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @mich0731

[slytherinboysappreciation]

Moonlight - T. R. x werewolf fem!reader

A/N: this is the fourth part of this series. It’s mostly unedited so please be nice 💛 This is one of my favorite scenes so far and was the inspiration for this series. No use of Y/N. Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated 🥰

Series Masterlist

CW: Period mentions, mood swings, bit of angsting over love, Tom being possessive and a bit of an asshole, a somewhat suggestive moment

1.1k words

Your mood doesn’t improve the rest of the week. Your period and changing hormones make you more sensitive than usual, and seeing Tom every day sends you through a whirlwind of up and down emotions. Being with him is better than normal. Afterwards you feel horrible.

Maybe it’s just because he knows you’re on your period, but Tom is less agitating than usual. He still hovers, but it’s different now. Instead of going on about the need for safety, Tom offers you snacks after classes. He’s quieter; wears less cologne; even offers you chocolate and painkillers one particularly frustrating day.

It’s… nice.

And it kills you that he’s only doing it out of obligation.

Maybe you’re shallow for it, but his attention makes you feel good. Listened to. Maybe even a little wanted.

It’s almost addicting, the thrill in your chest when he calls you ‘love’. It’s the closest you get to convincing yourself that maybe he does care.

You pour it all out to Luna one day, practically venting about how worried you are that you might like Tom a bit. She just smiles at you.

“How can you be sure he doesn’t feel the same?”

You scoff. Laugh a bit. Roll your eyes. “Of course he doesn’t. He’s Tom Riddle. Besides, he’s told me an innumerable amount of times that he’s only around me because he’s concerned I’m a danger. You know this, Luna, come on.”

She tilts her head. “But he hasn’t said it in a while, has he? And he’s different around you now, isn’t he?”

You fall silent. She has a point, though you don’t like it. Tom has been acting different lately.

“It’s just coz he thought I was hurt,” you mutter, unable to come up with a better defense.

“He wouldn’t have acted so worried if he didn’t at least somewhat care for you,” Luna points out.

You cross your arms and stay silent. She shrugs.

“Okay, fine,” you mumble, “Maybe he’s not as annoying as he once was, and maybe he’s acting like he cares a little. It doesn’t mean he likes me. Maybe he just wants to be my friend?”

It sounds ludicrous, even as you say it.

Luna pats your shoulder. “Maybe he does. You’ll never know unless you ask.”

“Absolutely not.” Your voice is firm, holding no doubt whatsoever. Even talking to Luna about it is a big step. Asking Tom directly? Hell no.

You change the subject and talk about classes with her instead. She doesn’t push the subject anymore, which you’re grateful for.

You don’t know if you can even handle the idea of liking Tom, let alone him not hating you.

You and Tom are study partners and… acquaintances. Nothing more.

You ignore the part of your mind that thrills at the thought of something more.

A few days later, Tom changes your study spot for the day. Instead of spending your time in the library, he sets up a blanket outside. He even includes a nice basket of snacks.

The sunshine and nice air are a good change of pace. You study for a couple hours before putting your stuff away.

“You done?” Tom asks, looking a bit amused

You laugh a bit and stretch out on the blanket. The sunshine feels amazing on your back. It makes you sleepy and content. “Yeah.”

Tom falls quiet next to you. You can feel his gaze on you, but it feels softer than usual. You’re too comfortable to care.

You lazily doze for a while. The warm day and the sweet breeze feel heavenly.

You’re vaguely aware of footsteps signaling someone approaching. Tom stiffens next to you. You look up.

“Hi.” It’s a Hufflepuff boy. You’ve seen him around occasionally. He’s clearly nervous, but you can smell his excitement as well.

“Oh, hi.” You yawn and smile lazily up at the boy. His cheeks redden. Tom reeks of jealousy next to you. You ignore that fact.

“Um, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me?” The boy asks hopefully. You open your mouth to reply, but Tom cuts you off. “Absolutely not.”

He’s giving the boy a death glare, like he’s actively plotting his murder. You raise an eyebrow. Tom’s jaw clenches.

“Riddle—“

“It’s Tom.” He says coldly to you, still burning a hole through the Hufflepuff boy. “And I said no.”

The boy backs away. “O-Okay!” He smells genuinely terrified. You watch him go, frowning.

You wait until he’s gone before turning on Tom. “What the hell, Riddle?!”

Tom hasn’t lost his angry look. He scowls at you. “Lie back down,” He says angrily. “Never talk to him again, and go back to sleep.”

You blink. You open your mouth to argue. Your body prickles with heat at his intense gaze. You close it again and lie back down.

You stare at the grass, trying to think. You’re trying really hard to ignore how hot his dominance made you. You try to rationalize it; to claim it’s from the wolf side of you.

You already know that’s not true. An attractive, riled-up boy ordering you around? That’s 100% your human side.

Not that it matters either way.

That thought ruins your good mood. It had been nice to forget for a moment that Tom only cared about you because of your lycanthropy.

You frown morosely at the grass, twirling a piece around your finger.

Now he’s keeping you from dating people. What’ll be next? Portioning your food? Preventing you from having friends?

You sigh and roll onto your back. You tilt your head to feel the warm sunshine, trying hard to push the thoughts from your head.

“Love?”

You look over at Tom. “What?”

He looks surprisingly unhappy. It confuses you. He smells worried, anxious, still very jealous.

“We’re going to Hogsmeade tomorrow,” he says.

You blink at him.

“Will… you go with me to Hogsmeade tomorrow…?” He repeats.

You shrug and nod. “Okay.”

You furiously stomp down the thought that it’s a date. He’s just being nice; he doesn’t really care about you.

It doesn’t keep your heart from melting at the relieved grin that spreads across his face. “Good.”

“Good,” you repeat softly. You hide the small smile that curls at your lips.

He settles back down, relaxing next to you again. You close your eyes and resist the urge to scoot closer to him.

Maybe… just for tomorrow… you can pretend it’s a date. Maybe you can pretend he likes you… just for a day…

Nothing bad will come of that. Definitely not.

[lieutenantfloyd]

When Duty Calls Part 2 | Cyclone x Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Summary: You arrive at The Hard Deck, a place that was once like a second home to you.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, and Hangman being... Hangman.

Authors note: Life with a neurodivergent brain means I haven't updated this series since September but I managed to write this chapter in less than a day. Writers block be damned lol.

Read on AO3

It only took you twenty minutes to arrive at The Hard Deck, but another twenty minutes elapsed before you were able to convince yourself to open the car door.

You savor one last minute of air conditioning before willing yourself out of the car. Each crunch of sand under your shoes feels almost deafening but you push yourself forward, instead letting your eyes examine the scene in front of you. It’s early evening and a decent size crowd is occupying the parking lot while a slow moving but steady stream of people flow through the front door.

You join the back of the pack and slip your phone out from your back pocket. As luck would have it, your phone—unused since before you’d gotten in the shower—opens directly onto the text-that-shall-not-be-named. The panic inducing text bubbles have vanished and your initial message remains the last one sent between you both. Half of you is flooded with relief by the lack of response while the other half is more bothered by it than you’d ever care to admit.

You peer around the man in front of you, hoping to find a spot to slip through, but to no avail. From where you’re standing, you’re granted a perfectly framed view of The Hard Deck’s sun washed coastal siding against the blazing blue sky. It is a view that fills you with both comfort and nostalgia.

The nights you’d spent at this bar were among the few memories you let yourself get lost in. Quarters in the jukebox, the feeling of salt and sun making itself home on your skin, Clinking bottles and cans together after a job well done, the biting taste of whiskey on your tongue while venting frustrations. All things that drove you away, yet they kept you going when you needed it most.

Your spiraling thoughts barely register when you remember the phone still in your hands. You hurriedly lock the screen and slide the device back into your pocket. You far from expect anyone peering over your shoulder to piece together exactly who had left you on read, but your instincts tell you that you can’t be too careful. You’ve seen first hand how people here ensure that even the most baseless rumors spread quicker than wildfire. The last thing you need is to be pulled into an office and reprimanded before this mission even begins.

You were now second place from the entrance, so you capture the remaining moments and stomp out the last bit of anxiety left in your gut.

You cross the threshold in one quick step, your eyes already scanning the room and taking note of how many of the faces in this bar were completely unfamiliar. Whoever had sent the summoning text you’d received roughly two hours earlier chose to leave out who or what you should be looking for, so you instinctively set off towards the bar. ~ There wasn’t an empty barstool in sight, so you stay on your feet and shoulder your way through the rowdy servicemen until you can lean your elbows against bar top. Your chosen attire of light wash jeans and a brown tank top is nothing special, but your actions have earned more than a few glances, and you felt myself wanting to shrink under their eyes. You push your insecurities aside just in time to spot the woman you’re looking for.

“Penny!” you call out, raising your arm above your head in a lazy wave. She pivots instantly at the sound of her name and freezes briefly as her eyes land on you. A wave of memories—both wanted and not—wash over you in the time it takes her to abandon the towel and glass she’d been drying and pace over to you.

In a past life, you’d spent the majority of your free time helping out behind the bar or escorting Amelia and her friends around town. Penny was like a sister to you then, and both her and Amelia had been two of the hardest people to leave behind.

“Now that’s a face I didn’t expected to see at my bar again.” Penny says bluntly, but you can see the tell tale signs of a smile threatening to shine through.

“It’s good to see you too, pen.” You say with an easy smile.

“I assume you got called back too?” she asks. You give her a curt nod in response.

“Well then it seems like your friends got the party started without you.” She says while signaling towards the pool table on the far side of the bar.

“Friends is a strong word.” You say dryly.

“Well, in that case,“ She starts, only to pause and crouch down behind the bar. “Go easy on them.”

She finishes her sentence with a soft laugh and slides a can across the bar towards you. You wipe the ice and condensation off the rim and crack open the soda. The action is so familiar you don’t even give the can’s label a glance. You make sure to take a long, dramatic swig in the process.

“Thanks.” You say, tilting the can towards her while simultaneously breezing past her comment.

“I mean what I said. I obviously don’t know what’s ahead, but I get the sense that they don’t either. Hold your cards close to your chest around them.” She warns.

“Yes ma’am.” You affirm.

The area around you has cleared a bit which gives you some much appreciated breathing room. Over Penny’s shoulder you watch yet another man approach the bar, only this time it’s a face you’re anything but excited to recognize.

Of course Hangman would be back too.

You fight back the urge to grimace as he calls out to Penny, who quickly acknowledges him before turning back to you.

“Do you still have my number?” She asks.

“Always.” You answer, which earns me a soft smile from Penny.

“Good. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“That we do.” you agree, trying your best to mask any lingering unease about what the following weeks had in store.

You take your time circling the bar, and keep your eyes on Hangman as Penny serves him another beer. You have half a mind to ask him if he has any idea why we were all called back, but the thought dies the minute he makes an painful show of checking you out.

"Hangman." You say with the fakest smile you can manage.

“Just when I’d thought you were gone for good…” he says while dragging his gaze slowly up your body until he reaches your eyes.

“I knew you’d be bored without me.”

Jake laughs while you take a sip of soda and swallow down the anger building inside you.

“Aw, how considerate.”

“We can’t all be complete assholes, so…” You respond pointedly.

Hangman gears up in rebuttal just as Penny calls out your name and waves you back over. He turns to make his leave—and you’re almost shocked he’s accepting defeat—but the shock instantly becomes irritation when you both back away while throwing each other equally unkind hand gestures.

Turning towards Penny, you let her take your free hand in hers and give it a sisterly squeeze. An uncomfortable silence lies between you, and you can practically see the wheels of contemplation turning in her head.

“Have you… talked to him?” She queries in a low voice.

You don’t know what your face betrays, but hers instantly fills with a look of regret. You change your grip on the soda can, the chilled aluminum suddenly searing against your fingertips. You open your mouth to answer but can’t find the right words. Thankfully, she seems to take the silence as a hint.

“Well, I hope to see you both around more often.” She says quietly. Her words are simple and pleasant, but you can’t help but feel the urge to read deeper into them.

“Yeah, me too.” You breathe.

She squeezes your hand once more, and you all but cringe as the vulnerability in your words and voice rings loudly in your ears. After the unfortunate events of the last ten minutes, you’re quick to follow Hangman’s path towards the pool table. ~ You can feel eyes on you as you drop into one of the surrounding barstools, but make no effort of acknowledging them. The game plan you’d written earlier in the day flashes through your mind, and you know you don’t want to draw any more attention to yourself than necessary. You chose to sit and observe for a while before briefly catching up with old friends from your first time at Top Gun over a few rounds of pool. Soon after, you use the uncomfortably tense exchange between Hangman and Rooster as cover and slink onto the stool next to Phoenix’s new backseater.

You quickly learn that as quiet as he may be, the WSO—who’s stationed out in Lemoore and has the name and callsign Bob, according to your former wingman Natasha—Is more than happy to engage in a bit of gossip. Something which you’re happy to do as you watch the last several aviators file through the door.

It is only when you rise from your seat to refill Bob’s bucket of peanuts that you notice the awkward hush falling over the group. It wasn’t hard to decide that if the already heavy dose of tension was anything to go by, this mission—and the complete lack of details as to why any of you had been called back here in the first place—has everyone feeling shook up.

Bucket in hand, you skim the outskirts of the group. And quickly share a collective double take with Harvard, Yale, Omaha, and Fritz. You know the same question weighing heavy on your mind is doing the same to theirs. Yet before you can ask, the sound of Phoenix’s voice commands everyone’s attention and breathes life into one of the many questions you are all dying to ask.

“Everyone here is the best there is. So who the hell are they going to get to teach us?”

Taglist: @katesmadness @natasharomanoffisbaebby @nobody7102 @idiomaticpunk @thebeckyjolene @paintballkid711 @barbiewritesstuff @bbooks-and-teas @starshipfantasy @saramaple @marchingicenotes7 @bayisdying @princessofglitterland @katesmadness @shakira-sasha @xoxabs88xox @nyx2021 @qardasngan @fanboyluvr @bellamy1998 @alexxavicry @madamemelancholysstuff @autumnleaves1991-reads @dozcan123 @noxytopy @accio-boys @the-winter-marvel33 @justameresimp @abaker74 @starlightmoon2020 @comfortzonequeen, @flrboyd @heyitskay-21 @kmc1989 @kkrenae

[bunnithebard]

Through The Walls

Chapter 3: Fade To Black

[Masterlist][Chapter 2][Chapter 4]

You were probably certifiably insane.

Or at least a little looney.

You had taken to wanting to buy "gifts" for your Cryptid Neighbor after the Treaty of Cookies (as you had taken to calling it, for some reason). It was like leaving food out for the feral cats (which you also did; there was an orange boy cat who was getting stupid enough to trust you and you were antsy for the day he let you pet him).

After cookies you had decided to leave a scented candle.

You had gone to Bradley's Big Buy and they had these cedar scented candles that smelled exactly like the forest on a warm day. It was silly, but you had grabbed two and a gift bag with a dumb card. You had sat in your car and stared at the flimsy cardboard with a picture of Garfield in a bow-tie. The inside was blank, but the cartoon cat reminded you of the feral cat you loved, so you had grabbed it without a second thought. 

You clicked the pen you had stolen from work over and over, staring at the blank page and willing thoughts to come.

You sighed heavy through your nose, mumbling a quiet, "Fuck it" as you scribbled your name and phone number with the dumb message 'howdy neighbor'.

Shoving the card into the shiny blue plastic gift bag next to the cedar candle, you walked up to your Cryptid Neighbor's door and stared at your shoes. Was this weird? Probably… but they kinda felt like your first friend here in Hawkins. And you had been hanging out more with Nancy and her gang, so you, weirdly, didn't want your neighbor to feel left out. 

Setting the bag down you stepped a few inches away, steeling your nerves and knocking three times before running to your apartment as fast as you could.

You had managed to open the door just as you heard theirs open and you swung yourself inside and shut the door with a loud 'BANG', startling yourself.

"Jesus Christ." You breathed, heart hammering in your chest. "Why the fuck am I like this?" You mumbled, shaking your head as you removed your coat and swung your grocery bag onto your couch.

"Shave And A Hair Cut"

You smiled, feeling your ears heat up and a giggle escape at the sound of yours and your Cryptid Neighbor's call and response song. 

You skipped over and slid your hands against the wall, tapping "Two Bits" with the back of your knuckle.

You had lit up your candle that night and scooted a pillow over to the lower vent in the corner of your apartment. You knew it was connected to your neighbor’s room, and you often wondered about if you were to speak into it, if they would hear you. But you were too nervous to try. 

Instead, you set the candle on a plate (so it wasn’t directly on the shitty carpet) and you laid your head on a pillow close to the vent. You could hear the muffled sounds of them moving, a few grunts and sighs. Then you heard them start to play on their electric guitar. They diddled around with a few chords, playing the start of a few songs–one you recognized as ‘Runnin’ With the Devil’ by Van Halen. 

You smiled, rereading the same line from your book a few times before setting it down and letting yourself close your eyes and simply smell the woods from your warm candle and listen to the sounds of your Cryptid Neighbor as they strummed to unnamed songs.

Before you realized, you had fallen asleep.

When you awoke, it was with a start. Your arms slammed underneath you and pushed you up like you were doing a push-up. You took deep ravenous breaths, your heartbeat thundering in your ears as you stared unseeing at your surroundings. You blinked a few times, gulping sweet air before glancing over to see your candle still lit, flame flickering and dancing as you breathed towards it. 

You groaned, sitting up and feeling your spine creak and your muscles groan at having slept on the floor for an odd number of hours. You rubbed your shoulders, leaning down and blowing out the candle. Wisps of grey smoke meandered around you reminding you of watered-down camp fires and wishes on birthdays.

The music had stopped, you glanced at your window and saw the sun was up. 

Your neighbor was probably asleep. 

You sighed and picked up your candle plate, setting it onto the dresser top next to your TV.

You rubbed between your eyes, pushing into the sockets with a groan as a migraine started to form. You pulled the black out curtains over top of the sheer ones, dousing the room into darkness before you slumped onto your twin bed over the covers, too exhausted to pull them out from under you.

You were within the veil of mostly asleep but not quite awake when you heard something.

It sounded familiar, like the ghost of a voice you recognized.

It was low, sultry almost, and rang out in a question. The words were muffled, like from under water, and you waved one of your hands behind you as if a bug was buzzing in your ear and you tried to swat it away.

"You there?" You thought you heard, but you just groaned lowly into your pillow, willing your mind to rest. 

"Shave and a Haircut"

Your eyes snapped open and you looked to the vent–well, where you think it was considering it was dark as fuck with the blackout curtains drawn.

"Hello?"

The voice called out again and you let out a surprised squeak, crawling from your bed and grunting when you hit your knee against your bed post. You switched on the lamp that was next to your dresser and stared down at the vent, holding your breath.

You heard the drip of your bathroom sink and the wind outside whisper through the trees and then–

"Are you okay?"

The voice was male, low and throaty and colored with concern.

You dropped to the floor, wincing when you hit your bruised knee again and you knelt so your face was next to the vent. "...Hello?" You made a face at the sound of your croaky voice, still cloudy with sleep. 

There was another pause.

"Hi." This time he was shyer, voice softer, and the dulcet tone sent a shiver down your spine. Your face heated at your reaction.

"Huh-hi." You stuttered. Hitting your forehead with the palm of your hand. What the fuck dude??

"Are you okay? I thought I heard you screaming." He tapered off towards the end, unsure but still worried.

You felt like melting. He was checking in on you. Like a friend. Maybe this strange dynamic you've concocted within the absurdity that was your mind went both ways a little. Maybe he cared cause he felt the weird connection, too?

"Yeah, I-I'm okay. Just uh… just had a nightmare." You bit your lip, staring at the vent and wondering if you should ask. 'How were the cookies?', 'Did you like the candle?', 'I promise I'm not creepy, do you believe me??'.

"... Thanks for the candle."

You hiccuped. Blinking owlishly at the vent.

A smile spread across your lips and you laid down fully on the floor. "Did you like the smell?"

A beat. You heard him grunt and sigh, "Yeah. It's woodsy. I haven't been in the woods in a while, so it was nice." 

You kicked your feet giddily, "I'm glad." You felt like you were a teenager talking to your crush, "Did you like the cookies? I got them from some weird block party."

He chuckled and your eyelids fluttered shut. God the sounds he made were gorgeous.

"You tellin' me you let me eat weird cookies?" His undertone of teasing made you grin.

"I mean, they were from a weird block party, they themselves weren't weird." You paused, picking at your nails nervously, "But I could make you weird cookies if you want."

He snorted and you muffled your laughter with your hands, "If you can manage to make anything in this rinky dink oven, I'd be thoroughly fucking impressed." 

You smirked, "That a challenge?"

There was a moment of silence and you worried your bottom lip between your teeth.

"Hell yeah it is."

You had to look at the Better Homes And Garden magazines that were in the hospital waiting room to try and find a cookie recipe. All of them were a few months old, so the best sugar cookies for Easter were what you were aiming for. The icing looked the easiest, you were just debating what to shape them as, since they were supposed to be weird.

You also had to stop back at the store on your way home for the rest of the ingredients and to buy a cookie sheet. You had pulled a double so you were exhausted, but you were too fucking excited to make these damn cookies to try and sleep just yet.

As soon as you walked into your apartment you knocked on the wall with your customary rhythm and Eddie answered.

You felt elated at learning his name. 

You had repeated it in your head all night long. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Your phone rang and you ran to it, letting your grocery bag fall to the floor next to your tiny kitchen counter. 

You put the headset to your ear and blinked nervously, "... Hello?"

"Hey."

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

You bit your lip and leaned your hip against the counter top. "You made me a vandal." You giggled, twisting your finger around the rubbery cord.

He chuckled and your stomach flipped. God you need to get laid if just the sounds of this man's voice got you going.

"I didn't make you do anything, sweetheart."

You dropped your head back and silently mouthed 'oh my god' into the air. Really really needed to get laid.

You pulled the phone back to your ear and hummed thoughtfully. "'Twas you who challenged me to a cookie duel, thus I was forced to rip a page out of the Better Homes and Gardens magazine in my work lobby. Therefore: you are the problem, not me."

He laughed loudly, a throw your head back kind of laugh that tickled your insides and made you want to make him do it again. 

"I offer to the lady that if your cookies are acceptable, then the vandalism will be worth it and none are to be blamed and I shall be celebrated as the one who brought deliciousness to the realm." He had taken on a hauty British accent. You giggled madly.

"Alright alright, Lord Butthead–are you ready to have the most okayest cookies ever?"

Your phone bill would be astronomical.

You both talked for hours about anything and everything. Whatever nonsense popped into each other's brains became the topic of conversation. 

You had asked what his favorite marsupial was and he said kangaroo cause it was the only one he could remember, but he does think he's seen a picture of one in boxing gloves. Did you see Rocky? Nah, I don't really like action movies, but I know enough to know that he punched a bunch of meat and ran up some stairs. What kind of movies do you like then? All kinds, I really like B-rated sci-fi or horror because they tend to either have really cool props and plots, or really bad and either way makes for a fun time. What was the craziest thing you did as a kid? One time I set off fireworks in the locker rooms. Holy shit did anyone get hurt? Nah, but they never caught me!

A stream of consciousness that you never wanted to end. 

And the cookies were turning out pretty good, too. The oven took forever and a half to pre-heat, and the cookie sheet barely fit, but you managed not to burn them. Eddie had given you a well-earned golf clap and you bowed telling him you were doing so as you did it.

"How weird we talking Sweetheart?"

You giggled under your breath, holding the phone between your shoulder and cheek while you squeezed a pastry bag. "Let's just say I'm really amused by the dumbest things and I apologize for nothing."

"...

"Did you bake a bunch of dick cookies?"

You cackled, proud of the veins you put on some and the icing that ran down the balls like they had just cum.

"And a vagina one! But that one is more because it spread out too far when it was baking." You tried to defend yourself between giggles.

He chuckled on the other end and you bounced excitedly, finishing up a few more penises before moving onto the vagina. "Now remember when you eat my vagina, start with the clitoris!"

You squeezed your eyes shut and dropped the icing to the counter, "I actually want to die, why did you let me say that, out loud, with my dumb mouth?"

Eddie was gasping on the other line, unable to form a sentence through his laughter. You scowled, picking up the piping bag to finish the damn vagina cookie.

"I bet this one tastes the best too! So yuk it up all you want, mister, but," you but your lip, "My vagina will taste delicious!"

You dissolved into giggles alongside Eddie. 

Your face hurt from smiling.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

He caught his breath, sighing dramatically into the phone and humming softly, "You know what sweetheart, I'm really excited to taste your vagina cookie."

You felt your face heat up and you ducked your chin to your chest, biting your lip to stop from smiling. "Fucking better be, this tiny ass oven sucks."

He barked out another laugh. "I am excited. No one's ever made me cookies before."

You looked at the phone, eyebrows furrowed. You brought the phone back to your ear, "You're kidding. Really?"

"Yup!" He popped the p, "You're the first." He groaned and it sounded like he was laying down, you heard a bump against the wall you shared and you figured there was a couch or something there.

You hummed, smiling softly. "Well, I'm honored, and I really hope you enjoy my bag of dicks."

He snorted.

[PREVIOUS CHAPTER][NEXT CHAPTER]

[eliazspaceart]

Routine

[Before the MC]

Derek's routines were always the same, only varying by person, event, and actions. It was a really stressful life because, if I remember correctly, his father still abused and pressured him a lot, which also stressed and angered him.

On his father's recommendation, he sent Derek to the auction and his desert vacation to vent all that stress on someone else without ruining his image directly. His father also gave him a house just to ensure he wouldn't ruin anything out of anger.

So yes, he was alone, angry, alone, with money, alone, with influence, but still alone. Derek simply forgot the true quality of life, living a draining routine that consumed him, and then going to the desert just to feel "free." At first, it worked; he felt good, it was liberating, but subtly he started to feel bad (not for the victims), a bit inferior, but he ignored that and continued with his killings.

[At the auction]

He was excited, another worthless piece of meat to be sold, another person, another victim, another target for his uncontrollable anger.

But no, it wasn't that. It was just a scared and confused child, trying to be a good kid by doing what those people said. He wanted to just get up and leave and tell everyone to go to hell like he always did.

But he didn't. He was a sadistic bastard who always killed people once a year, so why should he care about this random kid? But he did. In a strange way, he felt empathy for that child. Maybe because he simply felt bad for him. It was really confusing for him, but for now, his goal was to take care of that child.

The auction started, and the child was obedient, responding kindly and softly. This really caught Celia's attention, so she placed the first bid. After that, Derek doubled Celia's price, and there was a five-minute bidding war. In the end, the auctioneer let the child choose on their own.

The child chose Derek, which made Derek happy for his ego. He won.

He won.

"...I won..."

[Journey to the house]

In the luxurious limousine, Derek was looking at the child beside him. The child was wearing a seatbelt and had a blanket over them, still anesthetized. Did he just adopt? No, of course not. He simply bought the child out of pity, maybe to not feel...

alone?

Maybe.

In the car, he canceled his vacation and decided to focus on the child, making them comfortable and ensuring they wouldn't feel scared when they regained consciousness. That was what Derek thought.

[At the house]

Derek carried the child in his arms and took them to an empty room, about two doors down from Derek's room. He laid the child on the bed and left.

He called a maid and informed her that there was a child in that room, asking her to watch over and calm the child when they woke up. He also mentioned to give the child something to eat and drink.

Derek went to his room, sat on the edge of his bed, and looked at his hands. What the hell was he going to do now? He had never taken care of a child, nor had he thought about it. He didn't have an exact guide, and it's not like he had the best father in the world as an example. He only took the child to inflate his fleeting ego, just to...

win.

He won.

Derek sighed heavily and put his hands over his face. He had to spend a lot of money and create a believable story... and try not to get killed by his father in the process.

Everything he did was just to...

win.

He won.

———

And as always, thank you for reading this. It really makes me happy that you like the things I write.💙

[tadpolejourney]

Gale is not canonically autistic, nor was he canonically groomed

Really bugs me how so many people on tumblr diagnose Gale with autism (spoiler: they're not doctors because doctors have ethics). Identifying with a character personally is one thing, armchair diagnosing anyone (yes, even a fictional character) is another. It is harmful and unethical, and I'm happy to explain why I think so to anyone who's interested. Just let me know.

EDIT: This whole next part is a SEPARATE thought that has nothing to do with autism. I think autistic people are great and I'm definitely not trying to spread ableism in tags... or anywhere else for that matter. I suppose I should also say that my opinion is not wild or out of left field outside of tumblr. I know Forgotten Realms lore and D&D very well, which seems rather atypical for tumblr.

I've made a lot of edits to this post, hoping that by clarifying the language and articulating my points better rather than just venting, my message comes across more clearly.

What bugs me the most is when people talk about Mystra grooming him as canon. If you think it happened when he was a child, that simply was not possible as Mystra was dead. If you think it happened to him as an adult, that's absurd.

In order to be groomed as an adult, you have to be incapable of consent. Only vulnerable adults can be groomed. I will leave 'vulnerable' broad, but the definition of grooming can be found on Wikipedia. Before you come at me sideways, find the section on grooming adults, read it, and get back to me.

Gale is fully capable of consent, and makes no indication that he cannot consent. He'll consent to a relationship with you as the pc, after all. He was also not vulnerable. He was an archmage. That's the most power you can have as a mortal, and one of the most prestigious positions as well. Gale is very knowledgeable about Mystra, her ways, and the Weave. Gale is a confident man of sound mind with hubris galore. If you think he was groomed, you completely misunderstand his character arc (snarky edit: again I say, hubris). When he meets Mystra he's well into adulthood with a job, a wizard's tower, sexual experience, has been in relationships, etc. He knows who Mystra is, what she is capable of, and what she offers him as a chosen/lover.

He walks into their relationship willingly, and makes no indication whatsoever that he was harassed, manipulated, or coerced into his relationship with her. Furthermore, Mystra could not do anything directly to him on the mortal plane, nor could she take away his power or access to the Weave, without reason or consequence. In fact, if you are at all familiar with Forgotten Realms lore, their relationship does not seem so abnormal. While Mystra isn't known for sleeping with many of her chosen, the idea itself (a mortal and a god/goddess being lovers) is not unheard of. More to the point, the FR pantheon is simply not all-powerful. Not a one of them is, including Mystra. They have many restrictions on what they can and cannot do, especially involving the mortal realms.

It seems some people are completely unable to accept that Gale made terrible choices and has flaws, which is odd because he admits that freely and openly to the pc. There is so much more nuance to his character arc that you throw away when you ignore his flaws, especially his hubris. That is literally the whole point of his arc. It would be a totally different story if it were actually written as if he were groomed. Not to mention making that canon with the story as it is nonsensically divests him of the power and agency he clearly had.

Rewrite the story and HC all you want, but don't put that shit out there like it's actual canon.

[stellabellababygirl]

You’re just starting to fall asleep when hear her toss and turn in bed. It’s normal; she usually has trouble falling asleep after a hard day in the office. Being head of the office must be difficult, right?

She told you something about her job recently, but it’s hard to remember as you’re drifting off. Maybe in the morning she’ll…

“Hey, are you awake?”

You turn over and are immediately met with her gorgeous blue eyes, which you can barely see through the darkness.

“Yeah, I was just about to fall asleep. Do you need something?”

“I’ve been thinking about work a lot and I feel like I’m missing something.”

What could she be missing? She leads a wonderful team, heads a lot of projects, but what else could…

You feel her hand caress your side.

“Lately we’ve been having issues with my team being disrespectful during the day. They’ve been slacking off and not listening to me when I ask them to do something…”

“Well, what’s something you’ve done to deal with this in the past?”

She pulls you in closer. Your breathing becomes shallow as your heart rate increases.

“I’ve tried lots of things, and I’m sure I’ll find something. I guess I’m mostly venting. It’s just a shame I can’t discipline them like you.”

Her nails dig into your skin a little, and you feel the sting setting in.

The pain catches you off guard, as you were floating away to your dreams just moments before.

She moves into you and you feel her breath on your neck. Her lips come close but…

“You’ve always been good for me. And taking care of any disrespect from you has always come easily. Hopefully my lessons have taught you well.”

Her nails dig in further as you take a deep breath, slowly moving through the pain. She woke you up for this? Ugh, we were having so much fun flirting over dinner. Why couldn’t we have done this then?

“I’m tired babe, are you really going to make me do this now?”

Her nails move down your side and onto your thighs. You wince a little at the pain, and feel the pleasure set in after she lets up on the pressure.

“Being disrespectful too? Such a shame, I thought you liked this…well, I guess I don’t have to give you what you want after all. Too bad, since I saw you eyeing me up and down in the kitchen earlier.”

You want this. You both know that you do. The endorphins of the stinging pain are beginning to move through your veins. Giving in is always the worst part, but it leads to pleasure, right?

Why not just give in?

“You enjoy giving this to me as much as I love receiving it. So what’s holding you back? Worried I’ll whisper around your office and…”

She turns you over, as if to spank you. You flinch in anticipation as you know it’s coming, but it’s…much softer than you anticipate?

“Wait, that’s it? What was the point of…”

*SMACK*

She spanks you with a full arm of force. You feel the thud of her hand through your body like a shockwave of an earthquake. You let out a small yelp that quickly melts into a moan as the pain sets in.

Her arms are well defined, even in the darkness, as you see her begin to wind up for another. You roll out of the way as you see it coming.

“Don’t think you’re getting away that easy.”

She pins you on your back and you stare into her eyes, engulfed in the beauty of her body above you as her long braid falls onto your chest.

*SMACK*

Directly across the face this time. The pain in your cheek dizzies you for a second. As you regain yourself, you feel her hand on the inside of your thigh moving up to your crotch.

The pain melts away as pleasure envelopes you.

[melanieph321]

All these pictures of Ruben and his fluffy hair🫨 I need u to write something about it. Please and thank u❤️

I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS ONE! Such a good request. My favorite so far!

Ruben Dias - Don't Answer +18

Enjoy!

Rubens girlfriend let out a deep sigh and slumped back against the front door as it slammed shut behind her. The calming feeling of home washed over her in waves, helping her gather enough strength to take another step into the apartment. It was more or less Rubens home, but after spending the past few nights there she had come to know it as her own, especially whenever Ruben was there.

He looked up from the bowl of cereal he was having as his girlfriend slowly slowly made her way into the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" He asked, mimicking her tired expression.

"I had a day." She sighed and put her purse on top of the kitchen Island where he sat.

"Your boss?" Ruben frowned.

"My boss." She nodded.

Her boss had been way up her ass latley and more so for the past few weeks. Ruben usually let her vent about it after work, today however she seemed more tense about things. He worried that the situation had escalated.

"Fuck." She groaned, reaching for her vibrating phone.

"Is that her?" Ruben asked.

She checked the display.

"It's her alright."

"Don't answer."

"I have to Ruben, she is my boss."

"No, you don't. What you need to do is rest."

"I will baby, after this call."

He rolled his eyes and stood. "You said the same thing yesterday and what happened? You ended up working all night." Ruben thought of the rest and recovery days he usually had on his schedule. Why couldn't his girlfriend also set aside time for herself? They hardly had time for each other anymore because of the way her boss was working her like a horse.

"Ruben please just let me take this call. I'll be joining you for a bowl of cereal in a minute."

Ruben shook his head. He did not look convinced. "You need to rest now." He said, stepping up to her.

"Ruben no. What are you doing?"

In one smooth motion he scooped her up in his arms.

"Ruben put me down. Stop it!"

She kicked her legs in front of him, making it difficult for Ruben to navigate his way towards the bedroom, however he was determined to get her there.

"Rest." He said, plotting her down on his king sized bed.

"Is this your plan huh?" She said, laying flat on her back, looking up at him. "Force me to rest?"

"No." He grinned. Ruben had many ways to help his girlfriend relax. Luckily her phone had stop vibrating as she lay down before him, this way her attention was all on him and what he was about to do to her.

"Ruben." She gasped.

His arms tugged her thighs, adjusting her to lay directly beneath him on the bed. She did not repell him when he bent down to kiss her lips. He did not stop until he felt her relax against him.

"Ruben please." She said, moaning into his mouth. "I have to call her back."

"No." He groaned, raising his head from her lips, moving on to her neck.

"Ruben." She sighed, but held a hand to the back of his head, keeping him there.

He nibbled her skin, tracing soft love bites down towards her collarbone. He pulled the lace down to her top, wanting to expose more skin for him to kiss. She arched her back, bringing her chest upwards. Ruben did not refuse the offer to have a go at her breast.

"Fuck me." She groaned, finally getting into it.

"Trust me, I will."

Ruben unhooked her bra as quick as he had scooped her up from the floor. He tossed it aside before licking across the fabric of her top, feeling her nipples become pebbles beneath his tounge.

"Oh Ruben please." She clawed her nails down his back. "I need this, I need you."

"Not yet." He said, snaking a hand under her shirt. Her breast was warm beneath his hands, fitting perfectly against his palm. He was on his way back to your lips but paused at the sound of her phone vibrating somewhere beneath the sheets.

"It's her." His girlfriend's body tensed as she perked up.

"Don't answer." Ruben said, tracing sloppy kisses across her jaw.

"I have to." Her hand searched underneath the pillows, locating the phone. She gave his shoulder a light shove before answering. "Hello, Malena?"

"Yes. No, I'm sorry I just arrived home. "

"No it's no problem. I can talk. "

Ruben sighed.

She mimicked the words 'sorry'.

He bowed his head as the battle was lost.

"No, I received that email yesterday. I thought I sent you my response..."

Ruben lay with his chin resting against her stomach, waiting patiently for his girlfriend's conversation with her boss to end. He liked the way she kept running her hands through his hair. It had gotten too long for his liking but if he cut it off moments like these would be lost.

As he lay there sinful thoughts started to appear. Ruben couldn't help but to feel tempted by the way her nipples darted at him, hard and tender from his previous love bites.

"....no I know. Perhaps if we booked a meeting with the...Ruben?"

He received a slap across his head, but did not detach his lips from his girlfriend's nipples, this way pinning her back down against the matress.

"Oh no, that was just my cat." She spoke into the phone, her voice very agitated.

She hissed at him "Ruben, stop it."

He smiled against her chest and lowered himself to her belly.

"Yes, no. I heard you..."

Ruben's girlfriend had no option but to stay on the phone with her boss. She tossed and turned in a pathetic attempt to get him off of her.

"Please..." She bit her lip and let out a low shriek. Ruben had tugged at her jeans, removing them quicker than she could protest. He was glad to see that a part her longed for him. The sight of her damped panties made the bulge in his sweatpants grow stiffer.

"I agree, we should take more charge as a company..."

Ruben was impressed by how good his girlfriend was at keeping a straight face and muffle up the sounds of her breathy moans with the back of her hand.

"Ruben please." She whispered. At one point she looked down to see his head buried between her legs, his lips tracing kisses on the inside of her thighs.

"Yes, god yes " She spoke into the phone.

Ruben chuckled. He was making it more and more difficult for her.

"No, I'm sorry. I just mean that it's a good idea. Thank god."

Her face was flushed red, one hand pressing the phone to her ear, the other gripping a bundle of Ruben's hair. He was glad that she wasn't trying to push him away anymore, the opposite really. Her hands gripping his hair reassured that Ruben's head stay put between her thighs.

"Yes, right there." She muttured.

Rubens finger slipped underneaththe fabric of her pantsies, pushing it aside to reveal her secret.

"Wait, no..."

Ruben ignored her silent plea, dipping his chin towards her folds, licking her clit.

"Fuck you, Ruben." She said, arching her back and fisting the bed sheets.

"No I'm sorry. It's just my cat...seems like he snuck back into the room."

Ruben chuckled, hearing his girlfriend continue the call with her boss. So stubborn, he thought.

"Call you back tomorrow?... perhaps that's a good idea..."

Finally, Ruben thought, upping the intensity of the way his tounge moved across her swollen bead.

"Ruben you..." She hung up the phone, tossing it to the side. Ruben raised his head from her thighs, a devious smile on his lips.

"Are you crazy?" Her first reaction was to slap him across his head again, but then she fell back laughing.

Ruben raised his body to hover over hers. "I told you not to answer."

She shook her head, still flushed by the sudden heat that had risen to her face. "I hate you, so fucking much."

Ruben bent down to kiss the corner of her crooked smile. "Do you still want me to finnish you off?" He said.

"You're pathetic, you know that."

Ruben laughed.

Her hand went up to his face, stroking his cheek. "Go on. Finish me off you idiot."

[scary-lasagna]

hey I was wondering if you can do a fem proxy so that has social anxiety with Jane headdcannons thanks and no worries if not 😊

Jane

Jane is like the older sister to all the younger folk in the manor, and Toby has especially taken a liking to her. She knows how to make someone feel appreciated and loved, which is exactly what you need most days after work from social burnout.

She has this empathetic aura about her, motherly and sisterly vibes all the way. She’ll talk you through problems, and give advice to those in need.

Social anxiety is no biggie to Jane. She’s handled it before with her own vices, and has helped Toby through most of his. It's a battle she's helped before.

But coming home from work is hard most days. You’re either socially burnt from communicating and being around others for 12 hours, or you’re just in shambles from all of the negative thoughts building up over the small nuisances.

She lets you know that what your feeling is normal, yet it might be blown out of proportion a little bit.

No one is staring you down while you eat, darling. Neither are they whispering behind your back when you stumble over a branch while at work.

Other than Jane, you have a full support system of proxies. They’re also available to vent to and give you a pat on the back.

Tim is seen as the parental figure of the group, so even if you don’t directly go to him, he’ll notice you struggling and give you a pat on the back.

Sometimes you can even overheard Tim and Jane talking a little too loudly about your accomplishments from the other room. Just to make you feel good.

If only you weren’t so anxious to bring these things up.

[inkblackorchid]

So... about season 3 Aki.

Ok harsh contrast to my previous, excited post, but I did say I had more to yell about episode 75 and I need to get this off my chest anyway. Plus, I remember mentioning in a post that I need to talk about season 3 onward Aki anyhow, so might as well do that now! I am thinking Big Thoughts and I need to Scream.

Long, incoherent, unhinged rant incoming because I have 100 things to say and 100000 screenshots to post, but I am also tired and my brain is mush.

Can we please talk about all the jarringly unfulfilled setup the start of season 3 did for Aki? Because I'm starting to feel an urge to claw at the walls. I'm gonna go through this, piece by piece of damning evidence, because I need to vent my utter confusion and frustration somehow, I guess. Okay. So.

After giving us a bit of time to settle in after the timeskip into the pre-WRGP stretch of things, the itty-bitty portion of the story Aki occupies at this point starts off arguably strong. Yusei gets kidnapped, everyone's in a frenzy about it, but Aki's especially worried.

Then this. Funky new signer powers! Nobody's been able to do this before! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)

Then Aki "no sense of self-preservation" Izayoi gets herself in a bunch of danger trying to rescue Yusei and we get this:

Oh! Wow! Aki can control her powers now! (Which: how. Why did they never show us this. That alone could have made for a whole mini-arc. Why waste that????) That would give the writers so many cool opportunities to let her use them! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)

(Side note: I love this scene. I love it to death. They're both ride-or-die "who cares for my safety when yours is on the line" for each other and I love them.)

Of course, shenanigans then ensue, leading up to Sherry's marvellous introduction.

(Mwah. I blow her a little kiss.)

And it is at this point that Aki Has An Epiphany.

And to top it off, she gets some interesting interactions with Sherry, too!

So Aki resolves that she wants to become a turbo-duellist, too. And the thing is, this isn't a little one-off thing or something they never deliver on. They end up building this up for several episodes, bit by bit. First we get another mention of it at the pre-WRGP press thingy they all attend:

Then it's brought up again when Yusei accepts the first duel against Bruno/Antinomy:

(Also, side note again, but can I just mention that Aki also gets this moment the episode before:)

(Where she literally puts herself directly in harm's way in a public setting to protect people with her powers??? Like, I'm sorry, pinch me or something, but how does that not scream "badass good girl setup"???? HOW?)

So we get at least three episodes worth of buildup where Aki agonizes over becoming a turbo duellist to understand what her friends (but especially Yusei) are feeling when they duel like that, and then they finally deliver on it and episode 75 has her getting her license. And it's fantastic. Seriously. That episode is golden. Not just because it delivers on this promise, not just because it has a really cute moment between Aki and Yusei in it (regardless of how you read their relationship dynamic), and not just because it (as per my last post) showcases how much the rest of Team 5Ds cares about Aki (by literally building a runner for her and accompanying her to her exam and don't even get me started on Jack beating up those jerks trying to make her crash unprompted) but because it gives us just that smidgen more detail about Aki's character, too. Because the thing is, at first, she majorly sucks at driving.

And not only is this realistic to a degree (learning to drive is hard, regardless of what you're learning to drive), it's also great, because you know what Aki's response to it is?

She keeps going. She doesn't let it get her down, she gets back up and tries again. (And from a writing standpoint, this is lovely because that stubbornness is great in situations like this, but you could easily turn it into a weakness in a different scenario if you wanted to.)

And not only does Aki learn driving the hard way here, she also finds herself confronted with jerks who don't want her to succeed,

(Ruka, sweetie, I love you.)

and she makes an absolute rookie mistake during her exam by trying to play a speed spell when she doesn't have the necessary speed counters.

And feel free to disagree, but I think this is also great. Because honestly? While driving a really damned fast motorcycle that I'm not super used to yet, and being expected to make solid tactical judgements in an overcomplicated card game—the rules of which are slightly different when you're playing it on a motorcycle—at the same time, I would likely also mess up like that and accidentally try to make an illegal play. But the thing is, the episode rewards her for sticking it out anyway by letting her pull off a really complicated driving manoeuvre to save herself from her envious turbo-duelling-license colleagues' cheap tricks, and by letting her score a really nice win from a tight spot, much like any of the boys would have in her position.

(Take that, you jerks. Dumbasses only get blurry screenshots.)

So Aki gets her license and is welcomed by the team as a fresh turbo duellist. Hooray!

(I love them all so, so much, help me.)

And we also get this:

Wouldn't you know it! Sherry's been watching Aki get her license with interest! And she seems to be mighty pleased with the result!

So. After all that, I don't think you could blame anyone (it's me, I'm anyone) for getting really excited about what Aki's gonna get up to from this point outward. Aki can control her powers now! And she got her turbo duelling license! And we've got a new, enigmatic side character who seems like she could have super interesting interactions with and play off Aki! I wonder what they're gonna do with all that.

*deep breath*

Sigh.

Seeing as I already know this show like the palm of my hand, I kind of dreaded getting past this episode because I know exactly what happens to Aki from this point out: Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Okay, well, no. See, I went back and checked all the episodes I have left, just to make sure, just in case I forgot something (very likely when you've already watched the show three times, I know).

From here on out, during the entire pre-WRGP, WRGP, and Ark Cradle arc, Aki gets exactly three things to do:

She uses her shiny new turbo duelling license to fill in for Crow at the Team Unicorn match because he got injured. Which, on paper, is a perfect way to let her have the spotlight for a moment. Except, the only thing she gets that spotlight for is to last a hot four turns in the duel before losing spectacularly to Andre and literally never turbo duelling again for the rest of the show. (Like, yes. The moment where she summons Stardust Dragon is chefs kiss and legendary. But in light of the surrounding circumstances, it feels like a consolation prize to make up for the ensuing character trainwreck.)

Since Crow is technically still injured when they're meant to go up against Team Catastrophe, Aki trains to fill in for him there again. Except! They intentionally make her crash right before the duel, putting her in a short-term coma! And as the icing on the cake, when she wakes up, it also turns out she lost the powers she was only just able to control for absolutely. no. reason. None. They never bother explaining it, they don't even try to hint at why they might have vanished. (I have my own theories for why they had to let her powers vanish and they all start and end with the words "we couldn't be bothered to figure out how to write this character".)

At the very end of the show, the very end, after temporarily fridging Sherry, too, they dig both girls back up in order to let them participate in a three-way final boss duel with Crow. (Which is a fantastic duel, I love it to pieces. Genuinely.) You could argue that they tried to cash in on all the intrigue they set up between Aki and Sherry here, but—come on. At the end of the show? Seriously? Oh, and did I mention that for some reason, Aki's powers mysteriously reappear after this duel? For no reason? Again?

I just. It does not compute. They went as far as doing all this setup, letting Aki get the hang of her powers, letting her get her license, making her part of Team 5Ds, even giving us a new character that seemed like the perfect fit to let her bounce off of—and then, like some sort of kafkaesque reverse-miracle, they somehow managed to take a sharp left into "whoops, don't care about this character" and nearly wasted the entirety of that setup in one fell swoop. If it weren't for that finale saving at least a smidgen of it, I'd be holding a torch and a pitchfork over here. (Hell, I might, even knowing that Aki's final duel in the show is kickass.)

Please tell me if this is just me (15 years after the show released, I know, leave me alone), but this feels like they were literally loading Chekov's gun directly within view of the audience, only to later procede to toss the damned thing into the sea instead of firing it.

Okay. Okay, I think I'm done. For anyone who actually bothered with the whole post, first of all, thank you for your attention, secondly, sorry, but this does, indeed, still bother me ten years after I first found this show, so I had to get it out or it would have eaten at me forever. God damn it.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to writing fics where Aki actually gets something to do right this second. If anyone's interested in giving a fic series where Aki gets a separate character arc that tries to stay mostly canon-compliant after the defeat of the dark signers a go, you can find my stuff here.

[stewpid-soup]

VENT CW!! STAY SAFE!!

anyone else find it exhausting to just enjoy things?

I don’t want to support people or companies that are actively doing things that are bad (racism, homophobia, defending SA, etc etc). but it’s so mentally draining to look through all of this terrible shit and not be able to enjoy things bc of their creators or ppl associated with it

i mean, i don’t support dream. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. I don’t support dream or the dteam as a whole - but the dsmp was such a big comfort to me through quarantine, and even now i still love the storyline and the characters.

HP, well that’s self explanatory. JKR is just a shit person and i’m not gonna give her my money bc i enjoy the plot of HP. I just take fanon on its own for the most part. I own the books and the films already (my family loves HP and has for a long time, since before JKR was outed as a transphobe) so i don’t need to buy anything from her. HP was a huge part of my childhood and the thought of not interacting with any content related to it makes me so sad, because i still love it even now.

and as controversial as it may be, i’ve enjoyed hazbin and helluva boss for years now. it was another comfort during quarantine, and i watched it with friends and got to bond over it. i do not like vivziepop or support her, and it’s exhausting to see all this back and forth about her online bc it’s so confusing. I love these shows and it makes me so happy that I get to see hazbin come together after waiting so long, and the same goes for helluva boss. of course there can be improvements to the way vivziepop writes some characters, but i still love these shows so much. it hurts my heart to feel like i can’t enjoy the content because the creator is such a bad person.

and then the number of musicians i’ve had to stop listening to because they turned out to be shitty people. or actors i avoided watching content of because they’re bad people (especially when the list of ppl who support Israel came out- of course im not supporting anyone on there, but some of the ppl on there just rlly hurt my heart because ive enjoyed their content for so long)

i know there’s not really any way to avoid this, as people are complex and can be an asshole w/o you knowing. funding people like this isn’t something i want or care to do, so of course i actively avoid it. but I just don’t know what to do when it comes to this.

a friend told me that it’s sort’ve about picking and choosing things, because you never know what people are really like. they said that with the state of the world, it’s important to stay educated but don’t let shitty people get in the way of things you enjoy. i’m just at the point where i feel like i can’t enjoy anything because anytime i get stuck in a rabbit hole of content, i see people going back and forth about who should be cancelled and who actually isn’t a bad person. cancel culture is one of the worst things about the internet, and it just makes interacting with fandoms even more toxic than it already is.

ig this is just a rant talking about comforts i have that i feel like i can’t enjoy anymore because of cancel culture and just like..people being people? i’m just so tired of finding something i enjoy and then learning out that they are or possibly could be doing/supporting something bad and just— it makes me feel so guilty because i don’t want to indirectly/directly hurt anyone. i know what i believe in and what i do and don’t support, at least for the most part (still learning everyday atp), but it doesn’t make it any easier to part with things i hold so dearly in my heart.

does anyone else feel similarly? if so, what have you found that helps or at least is a comfortable middle ground?

idk bro, my life is so exhausting with everything i deal with in real life- so to feel like i can’t even find comfort in my silly little shows anymore is really depressing. my mental health is not doing well lmfaooo

[tododeku-or-bust]

you deserve to be treated well and treasured!!! would def be interested to hear about the bf situation. do what's right for you!

I appreciate that, and I agree!

Ice's vent about her partner troubles and life journeys and growth under the cut. Feel free to be nosy:

So... I've talked about this before on here, but I've been working very hard on myself, and that includes my communication and my grace. I am far from the hair trigger, explosive tempered person I was 8 (well, therapy was 6) years ago, and that was not just "time". That was effort. It was knowing that I didn't like how I felt, and how draining it was. Like yeah, I burn at a constant irritation to this day (tis the PTSD), but just bc I feel that way doesn't mean I can't control the words that come out of my mouth or the actions that I take. I try very hard to implement this grace in my life.

That being said, just because I choose grace, does NOT mean I'm a pushover. I know how to stand on business for myself.

That being said, I do feel like it's come to a point with my partner where... I don't think I'm the issue. Well, I don't think there's anything I can do to stop being his issue. My partner is a good man, but... I don't think he's a strong man, not necessarily in the way I need him to be. What I need in my life is somebody that allows me to relax, that allows me to express without feeling like I have to always prove something. To carry some weight so I don't always have to.

We have this thing, where he'll do something that upsets me, right? And I'll express, tone annoyed sure, but still direct communication, that it bothered me. And then suddenly the conversation will go from that, to how 'he can't talk to me bc sometimes I'll get mad and sometimes i don't', bc 'I don't listen or acknowledge his feelings and that's how he feels'. Now I admit, this long in, I sure don't take his retorts seriously like he'd like, and that's bc I don't appreciate how it always manages to go from "the thing that happened that caused this" to "I don't like how you responded". Like... Bruh. YOU caused this, but somehow I'M the one on the stand?

For example. Last night I was worried his water bottle lid wasn't on tight and it'd spill on him. So I pointed it out to him, urgently. He stares at me, continues drinking, and puts it on the table silently. ...okay. so I say it again, this time annoyed. Bc no tf you didn't just look me in my face and ignore me. He says "that's how it always looks" I'm like "does it" and he pushes the cap down. Okay, so it wasn't broken. So I tell him I don't appreciate that you ignored me when I was expressing concern for you. I coulda just let the bitch spill (I didn't say that part like that but I thought it).

Then it becomes "well I was drinking so I couldn't reply", and "you wouldn't believe me anyway bc sometimes you dont", and "that's why sometimes I do speak and sometimes I don't because you get mad". Bruh. Why wouldn't I be upset if you ignored me straight to my face? Ntm, you do this every time I bring something up, and notice how I STILL approach you and directly communicate my feelings! Like I just don't get it.

A bitch couldn't even enjoy the last of her Soju buzz, when he pulled this shit.

So I finally had to tell him, maybe we should stop bc I'm tired of being treated like a threat or a burden. ESPECIALLY when I carry most of the weight financially and emotionally in this house! Yeah it is wild to me that I work, cook or buy the meals, buy most of the necessities and 2/3rds of the bills... And you think you're being victimized when I tell you your communication skills are not good at your big age. Like it doesn't matter, but it's insult to injury to me rn. And mind you, I've never complained. I don't mind that he's struggling to find work bc ik it's not his fault, I've even offered to help him go back to school. But now you got me in here experiencing the very struggle love I hate most in the world?

Bc I can go. I got my first car, and I realized for the first time in my life... I can go where I want. I can buy my own shit, carry it... Literally I have no use for anyone else lmao. So now it's down to WANTING this man in my life... And you choose to stress me out?? And again, he's not a bad man. Genuinely, one of the best Black men when it comes to political opinions and allyship and such. I feel safer with him than any other man in my life. But still, that whole "men need to be explicitly told everything" shit Black people love teaching their daughters bro come ON you're a grown ass man, and your actions have consequences. This is ridiculous. Like I'm not doing this the rest of my life, he either need to grow some critical thinking skills or I'm good. He's the only guy I've ever wanted to marry, but I'm not doing this shit the rest of my life lmao if I gotta be stressed I might as well be single.

[sketch-guardian]

Mc getting into a fist with a demon and winning (only asking this because of a passing thought with my mc lmao)

Hi☺✨First of all, before starting with the headcanon, I would like to apologize for the lack of posts in this period😥but I've been a bit busy and as far as the sketches are concerned, as you can imagine, they are progressing, it's just that I'm slow as hell at drawing🙈so to make up for it, I'm working on some RAD classmates x Y/N (anon/MC) art💜Now regarding your ask, I'd say that it's clear enough that messing around with MC isn't a good idea😂and that they know how to defend themself😌but in any case, here's the reaction of the RAD classmates:

RAD CLASSMATES WITH AN MC WHO GOT INTO A FIST FIGHT WITH A DEMON (AND WON)

DEMYA

Demya would honestly be very proud of MC and the idea of ​​her mate engaged in a fight to the death would attract/excite her quite a lot, perhaps also due to the propensity for fighting that her family and tribe had. Besides, she wouldn't care much about the reason for the quarrel, nor who was right or wrong, because Demya would still protect MC in any case and at any cost, what kind of mate would she be otherwise? She believes their relationship dinamyc is the "ride or die couple" after all.

Anyway, in case another fight were to be repeated, Demya, if present, would ask MC to let her join them, because she would find the idea of ​​a couple fighting side by side...romantic, in its own strange way

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra would probably be proud of MC for being able to defend themself without using magic and relieved because their training together paid off, but he would advise his partner to still be careful and call him the next time other demons decide to bother them to such an extent that it ends in a fight, which, coming from him, would come across as a bit hypocritical given his anger management issues, but this could result in an opportunity for Domnra and MC to work together on how to vent their stress in a non-destructive way.

Mobim, on the other hand, would be very worried and would stay close to MC more than usual, both to make sure that their conditions are stable, and because it hopes that its presence will dissuade MC from engaging in more fights with other demons in the future...Mobim doesn't like when MC or Domnra risk getting hurt, it makes the little curse tear up

AZUL

Considering how much of a simp Azul is towards his lovely star, MC's strength and dominance in combat would make him swoon and most likely flirt with MC, complimenting their strength and courage in facing a demon without magic.

In case MC got wounds or bruises, Azul would take care of them, using cute plasters and personally kissing better each bruise, because according to him, kisses make pain go away more than any other kind of magic (if MC got too hurt though, Azul would use magic, leaving aside the more traditional methods). Also next time he'd like to assist, just to cheer for MC like the fanboy he is and to step in in case something went wrong

ZURI

Among the RAD classmates, Zuri would probably be the least in agreement with MC's choice to use violence, even if deserved, only because she worries that her beloved could receive disciplinary measures in case they were in the wrong for starting a brawl and she would also find it a waste of time to get their hands dirty because of another annoying demon.

Zuri would recognize MC's impressive physical performance, and would probably turn a blind eye this time, but she would suggest them to use magic in case such an event repeated itself, or to let her take care of the problem directly, since Zuri knows how to be very...persuasive, both with words and even with a single icy glare

ODON

Although violence doesn't bother Odon, considering that they had to deal with it for many years of their long life and that it's a rather common phenomenon in Devildom, they would be worried about MC, certainly pleasantly surprised by their physical strenght despite their human nature, but still worried because MC is their dear friend and Odon doesn't want them to get in danger or trouble (although usually, saying that MC is with Odon, is enough to keep most demons at bay).

Odon would make sure MC is feeling okay and then ask them to try their best not to react harshly to taunts from any demons, because it wouldn't be worth it to ruin their day due to an unkind person, or at the very least...to bring the eye-like creatures with them, who should be enough to repel other demons or at least those with a common sense. The eye-like creatures would act like creepy watchdogs, so MC shouldn't have any more problems

[sysmedsaresexist]

So

Here's the deal.

I have officially resigned from SN.

Here's my message.

@Moderator I am giving SN my resignation.

You've got until the weekend to figure out a public reply before I go ham.

This isn't about me, it's about my frustration over defending all of you.

I actually haven't been directly named yet. I could literally walk away unscathed, but my heart hurts so much and I am filled with so many emotions that I feel like I'm going to burst. I am internally imploding.

Keeping quiet has made me physically ill, I have lost twenty pounds, I have ongoing shingles from stress (the stress being unable to deal with strong emotions with no outlet), I am feeling ashamed of myself, who I am, how I handle things. I am full of guilt and self hatred over my feelings. Why can't I just be like you guys? Why can't I just let it wash over me and move on and ignore it?

I question everything I post and say now.

I am once again a child being told that everything I feel is wrong, that I'm wrong.

I'm not blaming any of you for that, but my mental health is falling apart.

Part of my healing was embracing my anger and not being ashamed of my feelings, and venting them honestly and openly.

I'm fifty feet back in my journey, and back to hiding and killing my thoughts and emotions.

I haven't switched since April because I'm so scared to let anyone else out that I can't control.

I'm not like you guys, I can't let this continue.

I love you all, so much.

Everything works out in the end, even if it's not how you expected.

Good luck, see you all on the other side.

Bois

I can't wait to make these people look like the fools they are

I can't wait to point out everything about all of this drama

I can't wait to show Sophie how fucking off the mark she is about all these accusations

I can't wait to drop screenshots of the two members that are complaining (yes, because there's only two, out of OVER 300 members) acting like absolute CHILDREN

I can't wait to state the real stances of mods on some of these topics so we can clear the air

To the members:

I am so happy to have met all of you, the community YOU all created is amazing, and I'm grateful and so honoured to have been a part of it. I have never met a group of kinder, more understanding people in my life, and I hope each and every one of you achieves your goals ❤️

I know a lot of you are going to ask why, wondering what I'm doing, but what are we supposed to do? What do they want from us? What's going to make it stop? None of you deserve this, and someone needs to point that out.

Let's cover the big ones

Was SN involved in the banning of Sophie? No. The server only opened that same day.

Was SN involved in the second banning of Sophie? No. That was only two days later, we still weren't fully open.

The few members in the server show complete confusion over her banning, and rules were added that first day that those involved in harassment or false reporting would be banned.

Was SN involved in the banning of eeveecraft? This one is actually hilarious because you'll see that no one knew who the hell eeveecraft was. It's genuinely hilarious the number of, "who?" Like, wow, you're really not that important.

The Sophie bot: it was a handful of uwus and a joke about balloon popping, THAT'S IT, I am LITERALLY looking at the members being upset over one of Sophie's posts at the time, members venting hurt and fear and upset, extreme frustration, struggling with feelings of powerlessness, and someone made a joke, and I'm looking at apologies and rule updates FROM BEFORE SOPHIE EVEN KNEW ABOUT IT

One user made a post and mistakenly or accidently implied it was still happening, but they weren't even in the server at the time it happened. It was not months of rping and harassment. I am still pissed about that post.

It was one person, one night, get over yourself

While watching the SN mods live rent free in Sophie's head was funny, it's just annoying now. Sorry one of the members did something dumb. Can we have apologies for all the baseless accusations you've slung our way, and the ACTUAL months of harassment?

SN harbouring a pedo?! Mods were very open and honest with members during the event. Multiple announcements were made as we investigated. We spoke with members about their comfort. In the end, the accusations were unfounded, confirmed to be false by the alleged victims themselves. We did our due diligence and we supported our members. There are zero safety concerns.

Their real name?! It wasn't their deadname, HOW THE FUCK WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW, WHAT WERE YOU SERIOUSLY THINKING WHEN YOU LEGALLY CHANGED YOUR NAME TO THAT, WHY

Also, see a therapist, your obsession with that person is TERRIFYING and you genuinely need to talk to someone

My past relationships: thank you for dragging that into this, low move, it's not like I had just gotten the situation to calm down and I was finally able to relax, but you're known to react before hearing both sides. Trust me, the damage was mutual, and I can't talk about it because I'm being blackmailed. That person has my name and address. To them, go ahead, post it, let the community decide if it was one-sided and if I blew off my apology.

[nancydrewwouldnever]

https://www.laineygossip.com/best-chris-evans-playing-with-puppies-ultimate-antidote-to-toxicity/74650

I am the anon who wrote in previously about being a Negative Nancy with the new Chris-dog content.

I think this is why I had my guard up and felt this way, because it’s ‘antidote to toxicity’ messaging that I hoped wouldn’t come. I wanted to be wrong that it was coming. I didn’t even mentioned it before and instead focused solely on my reaction that maybe it’s the rose-colored glasses off.

This is just my opinion and feel free to disagree but Chris’ moves feel so calculated now. I’m not naive or ignorant that Hollywood is to sell, but I admittedly thought of Chris as more genuine. It’s one of the reasons I liked him, that he was a lovable dorky guy in a frat boy’s body. I read Lainey’s words and thought my gosh, how literally does she need to be?! ‘Chris knows his fans are toxic so here’s his answer - cute puppies!’ Ok I could be wrong but here she is noting that!

Why does it always get connected to her?

Let me be clear that there has been overstepping in this fandom in terms of toxicity, but I’m so sick and tired of everything being connected to her.

My words aren’t directed at you Nancy Drew, I’m just venting. I saw it cause Lainey Gossip is a blog I’ve been reading back for years now. I don’t visit as I used to, but still like to read it from time to time.

Wow, I'm surprised Lainey wrote about him at all. She hates him with a passion, for years now, ever since she saw him taking extra thongs at a gifting suite in Vegas. You should read anything she writes about him, if she directly writes about him, as dripping in sarcasm. (Which this is.)

But, yeah, there needed to be some kind of course correction before NYCC happens next month, just like they did before C2E2 this year. I see this as a retread of something they've already tried, and not that long ago.