#dios shit excuses

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

I think it's time to acknowledge how hard this song goes

[kissitbttr]

cake testing with miguel for the wedding!

a/n: featuring a very possessive miguel

continuation from this!

—

it has been one of your favorite wedding plans that you always look forward to. When your best friend got married, she took you with her to help her choose which one was the best. The caterer brought six classic flavors and both of your eyes twinkled with excitement. The same goes for your best friend. You and her almost demolished that one special raspberry lemon cake with her, since both of you have a sweet spot for fresh fruits.

You could guess which one ended up at the wedding reception.

And now, getting to do it with your soon to be husband, Miguel, just seems like a dream come true.

"So, Darla isn't gonna be with us since she's got errands to run, her assistant is going to replace her today." You inform your fiancee as he drives.

He squeezes your thigh with his hand as an answer, focusing his eyes on the road. You look up from your phone to watch him drive. A smile graces upon your lips as you think how good he looks while doing it. Furrowed eyebrows in concentration, a small pout on his lips with one hand on the wheel.

Fuck, he looks absolutely delicious.

Miguel senses your gaze on him, causing him to glance at you for a second before a grin spreads across his handsome face.

"What?"

You shrug. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Look sexy while driving"

He snorts out a laugh before making a turn. "I don't"

it's your turn to snort as you shake your head. "Humbleness is good. But God you're a liar."

"Ah, si? But you do love me, no?"

"Unfortunately" You answer, causing him to pinch the inside of your thigh making you giggle. "If we're not on our way to the boutique, I would hop on that dick right now"

He groans at that, eyes shutting briefly as the thoughts of you riding him in the car fill his mind. And seeing the seductive smirk on your face and how divine you look in that white sundress, it's already hard enough.

''Just say the word and I'll pull over mami." He's dead serious. You could see his hand gripping tightly around the wheel.

"And be late? No can do. Plus, I dressed really nicely for today and I do not want to ruin that."

"We can be quick" He tries again, smirking at you. "20 minutes top."

"Knowing you, it could never be 20 minutes. An hour and a half maybe." You point out, re-applying the gloss on your lips before smacking it. "And that's why I'm always late to work"

"You're killing me here, Y/N." He sighs loudly, pulling over to where the boutique is. "I never hear you complain about you being late when my cock is buried deep in your pussy, anyway."

You feign an offensive look as you slowly turn your head at him, shooting a soft glare. "Excuse me? What happened to getting rid of the first-name basis?!"

Yes. You made it clear from the start of the relationship that you refuse to be called by your first name anymore. It simply just won't cut it. You made sure to give him hell every time he called you that, even if he had done it by accident. Miguel was silently pulling his hair because you can be quite mean about that. Though he won't admit how you driving him insane is sexy. Like, really, fucking sexy.

it's a turn-on for him at this point.

"Shit, my bad" He parks the car as you both get ready to walk out. "Sorry baby." He leans over to peck your lips with his hand still on your thigh. The action makes you smile.

“That’s better”

Miguel gets out first, not allowing you both to walk out at the same time because he wants to be the one who opens the car door for you. Despite you telling him that you're perfectly capable of doing that by yourself, he argues with the fact that gentlemen always open doors for their women. Your heart does a somersault every time. It never goes away.

"Got everything, mi amor?" He asks as he extends his hand which you take, before shutting the door. You nod at him, and the two of you walk into the boutique hand in hand. "Dios... You look so good right now, I might just have to fuck you out here"

You gasp at that, slapping him in the chest, earning a low chuckle from him. "Easy there, tiger. I'm not going anywhere" You scold him but secretly love it when his filter's off

“How can i take it easy when your… Girls look so inviting?” His eyes glances at your breasts being pushed up by the cups of your dress, gulping at the sight. “They want me to play with them” A pout on his lips making your heart melt.

“Ugh, Miggy! please do not call them girls” You whine, shaking your head. “I thought we agreed on ‘tits’? Just tits.”

“Alright, alright fine… You’re no fun sometimes” He jokes, kissing your cheek. “Now, is this it?”

You nod, pushing your sunglasses up to the top of your head. “Darla said we can just walk right in.”

Miguel opens the door before allowing you to walk in first as he follows from behind. Red orbs scanning over the interior of the shop. It’s pretty. Lots of flowers in each corner, the paint is mostly pink and white.

“So is this where you and Darla had done the cake testing?” He asks, hand snaking around your waist.

“Yes! It’s so beautiful isn’t it? It’s like something coming out of fairytale or that ‘Enchanted’ movie we watched the other day. Darla really did amazing with this one. Though i did advice her to fix up the ceilings a bit and enhance the structure on that specific corner there.” You point with your manicured finger. “I offered to redesign and oversee the construction more. Just to help her a bit.”

He hums, squeezing your waist before planting a kiss on top of your head. “Look at you go… My little architect” He mumbles softly.

There’s no doubt on his mind that he’s proud of you. He loves seeing you work and help your friends who are in need. And that smart little brain of your is one of the things that made him fall in love with you in the first time. Jess had introduced you to him one time when he was scouting for a new architect to remodel the Spider Society’s HQ.

He was definitely entranced by your beauty when he saw you walked into his office with Jess by your side. You looked so sophisticated and elegant with glasses and the dress you had on that time. Long hair fixed into a messy bun as you shot him a smile before saying your name.

From that moment on, he was hooked. And made it his mission to make you his.

“Ms. Y/L/N and Mr. O’Hara?” Both of your ears perk at the sound of someone calling your names. You see a man, who’s probably in his late 20s emerging from the back with a smile. No doubt about it that he is quite handsome.

“Hi there! How are you? My name is Cameron, i’m Darla’s assistant. And my my, Darla didn’t say anything about her client being beautiful.” He chuckles as he lets out the joke. “She said you are stopping by for the cakes?” He flashes his toothy smile at you, and only at you.

Miguel frowns, at that. That doesn’t seem professional now, does it?

You choose to ignore that comment before smiling. “Yes, we are actually! I mean, I’ve done it with Darla about two weeks ago but my fiancé haven’t. So I’m bringing him, so he can taste it for himself.” Your hand squeezing your lover’s arm that is still settled around your waist.

The man nods, smiling as his eyes aren’t leaving yours which makes Miguel even more uneasy. And the way he looks at you from head to toe makes his blood boil.

He knows how men think, and he thinks. No, he knows that this asshole is basically undressing you with his eyes.

But Miguel is not the type create a confrontation. At least not anymore now that he’s with you. So he might’ve to push those feelings aside because he knows how much this means to you.

“Well step right here, I’ve prepared it all just for you, Ms. Y/L/N” He winks, gesturing you to follow him to where the cakes have been displayed.

Is he fucking serious?! Miguel thinks.

“So 6 different flavors, yes? Chocolate Lava, Lemon Raspberry, Strawberry Champagne, Red Velvet, Hazelnut Praline, aaand Hawaiian. That one is vegan” He checks off the last one on the list. “Customer’s favorite always been the Praline or Lemon Raspberry. You look like you deserve the latter. The best reserved only for the prettiest”

Again, you ignore his comment. “Oh well i tasted the Strawberry Champagne and it was amazing. But I’m leaving it to my fiancé here, so he can choose” You look up to him and notice there’s a slight frown on his face. “Baby?”

Miguel regains his composure when you call him, snapping him out of the thoughts of him killing Cameron in his mind. “Oh. Yeah yeah. Sure. You know my taste buds don’t matter just as long my woman is happy”

He makes sure to emphasize the words ‘my woman’ just so the guy can get the picture but he doesn’t seem too bothered by it.

“Well, we’re in this together so your taste does matter, as well.” You’re completely oblivious with the soft glare that Miguel throws at Cameron’s direction. Hands softly picking the forks from the table to cut a piece,

“Here. Let’s try the Chocolate—“

“Why don’t you feed it to me, mi amor?” He asks, looking at you with a smile. “One fork for two.”

If he can’t be violent then he’s got to find a way to make sure that this Cameron fellow understands that you’re fucking off limits.

You raise an eyebrow at the suggestion. “Sure, papi” You mirror his expression before cutting the cake, lifting it to feed him,

He takes a bite. Eyes dead set on the man who stands awkwardly from across, gaze looking anywhere but him.

“Hm” He nods. “That one’s good. Dark chocolate is it?”

“Right?” You ask cheerily. “Darla is amazing, i swear i need them all 6.” As you turn to fees yourself with the chocolate cake.

He shrugs, wiping a bit of the frosting from the corner of his mouth. “You’re the bride baby, you can have all 6 for the wedding, i don’t mind. I got the money for it anyway.”

You smile at him, kissing his jaw. “I love you, but we can’t be too greedy now can we?” A giggle escape your lips.

Oh he knows. He just wanted to make sure that son of a bitch gets it through his thick fucking skull that you’re his.

The two of you continue to feed each other’s cakes— more like you feeding it to him to be honest— rating each and every single one. Making sure to put a mental note on whichever you prefer before coming back next week and pick one.

Miguel glances at Cameron every now and then and watches how he stays quiet for the rest of it, letting you and Miguel do your thing. Probably too scared after seeing the intimidating look on his face.

“Gotta say, Strawberry Champagne and Chocolate one are amazing.” Miguel points, rolling the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. “You sure have a great taste, cariño. Confío en ti con todo.”

“Gracias, mi corazón” you put down the fork back on the table, smiling up at Cameron. “That’d be all i guess, yeah? But i think we’ll be back next week to pick one for sure. Will Darla be here?”

“She hasn’t said anything about it but uh, i-i’ll make sure” He stutters a bit, smiling nervously and trying to avoid Miguel’s death stare.

“Okay then. Well, thank you, Cameron for assisting us today. We have to get going now, still have a lot to work on” You offer a polite smile to his direction. “Shall we get going?”

Miguel nods, eyes still fixated on Cameron. “Yeah sure. But uh.. Can you wait for me by the car? I just need a few words regarding with the cakes with Cameron”

He’s not letting this off easy.

You watch how his eyes trained to the young employee, scrunching your brows as Miguel turns to look at you with a soft gaze. “It’ll be just a minute, baby.” He presses a reassuring kiss on your temple,

“Okay” You nod, smiling softly. waving a hand at Cameron before walking towards the exit. Soon as you’re out of their sight, Miguel turns his gaze back on Cameron. The young man looks like he’s about to piss in his pants.

The two stands in silence for a while as Miguel looks at him up and down.

“You ever gotten your ass kicked, Cameron?”

The question throws him off guard. Eyes widening while his mouth hangs open.

“S-sir?”

“It’s a question. Yes or no.”

“Well uhm, n-no sir” Cameron shakes his head. “Wha-“

“You do know that me and my girl came as a couple, yes? Or are you fucking blind?” Miguel’s eyebrow raises at him, arms crossed over his chest.

“I see that, Mr. O’Hara. I-i didn’t— I’m sorr-“

“You flirt with every customers? With their soon to be bride? Or is it just my woman you’re after?” He clicks his tongue against his teeth.

“N-no, Mr. O’Hara.”

“No as in what?”

“J-just her, i-i mean your woman.” He nervously confesses,

Miguel lets out a dry chuckle. “Let’s get one fucking thing straight, kid.” He leans forward, balling his fists before resting them on the table

“If you ever flirt with her, look at her or hell, if you even think about her when we come back next week, i will make sure no one remember how you look. And trust me when i say that this is not a threat but it’s a promise. Understood?” His voice laced with venom as he points his finger at Cameron’s chest who gulps,

Nodding quickly, he answers. “Understood.”

“Very well” Miguel retreats, taking a bottle of water from the table. “Stay away from my wife”

With that he walks out of the boutique, breathing out a heavy sigh, unscrewing the bottle cap before taking a gulp.

“How’s the interrogation goes?” You speak up with a playful smirk. “Did you manage to make him piss?”

He looks at you as he walks towards the car, shrugging. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” He replies.

Rolling your eyes, you cross your arms. “I saw you, papi. You almost kill the kid.”

“Again, i don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smiles innocently, both arms snaking around your waist to pull you close. Seems like a good kid. So i didn’t say anything”

A laugh escapes from your lips, one that he loves most—besides your perfect moans— “I know you, O’Hara. Like i said, a bad liar.”

“Alright fine, you caught me” He holds his hands up in defense. “He’s lucky i didn’t punch him.”

“That would be a sight for sore eyes.” You tease. “You know there’s nothing to be afraid of, right? Ain’t any other man could possibly steal my heart like you did three years ago.”

“Yeah well maybe if you stopped looking so fucking beautiful with your big pretty eyes and soft pouty mouth, then maybe men wouldn’t try to chase you off and i wouldn’t have 50+ competitions” He complains. But in reality he doesn’t mind.

“Oh excuse me, Mr? You don’t think i got one too?” You ask him through your lashes since his physique is towering you. “I had to put your ex back in her place at the Gala we attended three months ago, you remember? Slimy bitch.”

He laughs hard at that, head shaking at the memory of you confronting Dana was truly one of the unforgettable moments he has of you. “So, what’s next on the agenda?”

You look back at your phone before replying, “Seating arrangements on 112th street. Now this, we can use that 20 minutes up for something else since they’re running late.”

Miguel’s eyes harden as your finger running up and down his chest. “You mean—“

“Offer still stands. Want me to ride you while we wait?” You chew on your lower lip, gazing up at him and giving him your best doe eyes.

“Baby, if i ever said no to that question… Please feel free to grab my gun under my desk and shoot me in the head” He states, making you laugh as you throw your head back.

-

This feels like shit :/ I’m sorry but i need to clear out a few WIPs in my drafts

Though i still hope you all like it!

[damiansgoodgirll]

Can you please make reader and Damian having to share the same hotel room but it’s not an awkward situation, it’s like they are best friends but they constantly tease each other and act like a married couple and they both have feelings for each other but they never confessed it? Make it fluff please

damian priest x reader

likes, comments and reblogs are always welcomed!

‼️a lot of tension, sexual tension and mention of nudity but no actual smut, feels, a lot of feels‼️

couple things

“you riding with me?” you heard damian asking you once he got to his rental outside of the airport.

“please…” you didn’t want to call a taxi so his offer was perfect. especially when it was so late and you were in a city you didn’t know.

he laughed and you joined him into the car.

“the flight tore me off, i’m so tired” you complained while damian kept driving. he was tired too but he didn’t mind stay awake for a little more.

“and i thought you would eat something with me…” he smirked.

“well, since we were booked in the same hotel room i guess you wouldn’t mind ordering some take out and eating in bed? please?” he knew he couldn’t say no when you asked him so nicely so he agreed, noticing how tired you were.

“i like that idea” he smiled.

once you got to the hotel, he helped you with your bags, claiming that you were too tired to carry your own bags and so you let him do it, definitely not complaining.

when you got to the room, you couldn’t help but notice that there was just one bed instead of the usual two beds. you didn’t mind it at all since you and damian had sleepovers almost every week, but you saw it in his eyes that maybe the situation was making him uncomfortable.

“is there something wrong?” you asked, fearing that he would want to change room.

“no…i just hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable” you couldn’t believe he was prioritising you instead of his own comfort “you know…we shared rooms multiple times, but we never shared the bed…”

you laughed “damian, we fell asleep together on my couch probably twenty times in the last year…it’s not a problem sleeping with you, i’ll use it as an excuse so you can keep me warm” your words didn’t mean to make him hot, but somehow he had the opposite reaction and felt like he was exploding.

so you both began to get ready.

damian ordered some food while you were in the bathroom changing to something more comfy “oh shit…” you whispered. your bra got stuck and you couldn’t find a way to open it without tearing your shoulders off.

“is everything okay?” he asked when he heard your worried voice.

“damian can you come inside please?”

he did as you told him, but he definitely wasn’t expecting to see you almost naked, just wearing a pair of panties and your bra “dios mio…” he whispered closing immediately his eyes when he saw your bare figure.

you couldn’t help a laugh, wondering why he was reacting this way when he saw you wearing bikinis all the time.

“damian i can’t open my bra…can you help me? i think it’s stuck”

“me?” his eyes opened while he watched you through the bathroom mirror.

“yes duh…you, you’re the only one here…and i’ve been trying to get it out for the past ten minutes, please…” he couldn’t say no to your doe eyes but you definitely weren’t helping the tension he was feeling when you were almost naked in front of him.

his warm hands touched your back, sending shivers all over your body. it took him only two seconds to open it up and you were shocked. his laugh erupted in the room when he saw your shocked face through the mirror “how…how the fuck did you do it! i’ve been trying for the past ten minutes!”

“you should shorten your nails mariposa” he whispered before leaving the bathroom. his eyes caught the moment when you left your bra fall on the floor and he swore you were even more beautiful. naked, no make up, your hair in a messy ponytail. this was the person he liked.

you were too busy getting ready that you didn’t even noticed damian watching you before exiting the bathroom.

a couple of minutes later you joined damian on the bed “is that my shirt?” he asked amused.

“you forgot it last time at my house and i thought of giving it back to you but it’s so comfy” you said, yawning.

“food is going to be here in thirty minutes, do you wanna sleep in the meantime or…”

“if i fall of asleep now there’s no way you’re gonna wake me up in thirty minutes” you joked “ we should probably watch the tv or a movie or just something that keeps me awake” and so damian put the tv on, watching the news.

“before you say anything, the news are interesting and very entertaining” he sounded serious but you couldn’t help yourself and you started laughing.

“whatever you said damian…”

there was a comfortable silence between the two of you as he watched the news and you tried your best not to fall asleep. you received a notification saying that the food was here and that the rider was waiting for him in the hotel lobby so he told you that he would be back in a couple of minutes and while you were waiting for him, you decided to rest your eyes for a little bit.

damian took the food and gave a big tip to the guy, especially since it was almost midnight it started to rain outside.

on his way back to the hotel he started thinking of you. the way you are always there for him. not only for good moments but also to support him when he fell down and he wondered if the crush he had on you would ruin your friendship forever if he told you about it.

when damian got back into the bedroom, he saw you resting on the bed “hope you’re not sleeping mariposa” he chuckled.

“i’m just resting my eyes” you yawned “come here, i’m starving” you didn’t even know what he ordered but at this point you didn’t even care, you were so hungry and it was so late that you didn’t mind eating whatever he brought.

he placed the food on the bed carefully not ruining the blanket and he smiled when he saw you gasping, opening the box “ you got me my favourite chicken wings” you said happily “thank you!”

“you’re welcome hermosa” he said the next to you on the bed happily eating his food. he couldn’t lie if he said that he wasn’t tired, especially since it was midnight and he had been travelling all day long.

after you were both finished with the food, you quickly use the bathroom before leaving it to damian so he could change and take a shower. you were falling asleep on the bed but you wanted to wait for him to hold you especially since now that you were really cold. his t-shirt was comfortable, but it definitely wasn’t made for the kind of weather that was going on outside.

his heart beat fester when he saw you half asleep on his side of the bed, trying to find a comfortable position between the pillows and the blanket that was in keeping you warm enough.

“is that my spot?” he asked, even if he already knew the answer.

“it’s more comfortable…and it smells like you, it’s nice” his heart went faster when you almost confessed to him.

“glad you like my perfume” he joked, making you laugh.

“come here…” you tapped next to you, showing him the spot next to you on the bed “i’m cold…”

he got on the bed next to you, laughing at your reaction “next time bring a real pj to wear, so you won’t be cold”

“you’re sleeping half naked and you’re never cold…how do you do that?” you asked them when you saw him just wearing a pair of shorts, his torso naked, showing on full display his muscles and tattoos.

“i’m latino, i’m never cold” he proudly answered.

“whatever” you laughed “come here and hug me, i’m freezing” and he would’ve been really stupid to say no to your proposal. so he hugged you, making you lay your head on his chest.

your legs intertwined with his stronger ones. he could feel how cold you were, but at the same time he could feel how close you were to him. it wasn’t the first time he hugged you or laid you in his lap.

but tonight, somehow, it was different.

it was a different context.

your action showed him that you really trusted him. not only as a friend but also as a protector. you felt safe in his arms. and even if he was thinking the dirtiest things when he his hands moved on your back, he couldn’t help but feel grateful for you.

“goodnight mariposa” he whispered, softly placing a kiss over your head.

“night damian…” you yawned one last time before falling asleep.

his heart melted when he felt your tiny hands squeezing his back, almost like his chest was a pillow to you.

and he swore he could get used to having you like this every single night.

[samthestrangerthingsfan]

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: frienemies-to-lovers, kinda mean!Eddie? shy!reader, swearing, a lil smoochin', mentions of lack of confidence and poor self image, cute nicknames

a/n: hi bb, will you be my valentine? I don't love writing mean!eddie but its okay because we can always fix him :)

Valentine’s Day.

A day which the Hawkins High elite are positively buzzing over the plethora of cheap red and pink decorations.

Cheerleaders swoon over poorly constructed cards from their popular boyfriends, while dozens of obnoxious mylar balloons take up way too much space in the already crowded hallways.

Beyond the 14th of February, the reason for all the excitement was the annual Hawkins High Valentine’s Day dance—of which you were head of the committee.

Was it because you were the only Senior to volunteer their time to coordinating it instead of attending it? Maybe, but at least it gave you a reason to show up to the dance without a date.

...and avoid looking like the pitiful wallflower you are.

You also knew you’d have no time to rush home and get ready after your last class, so here you are. Standing outside of the AV Club door, decked out in your new crushed-velvet dress. It's ruby red and dangerously short.

This was definitely out of your comfort zone. You typically preferred to be invisible. It’s easier that way; no one can hurt what they can’t see. Right?

But when this dress caught your eye in the mall shop window, it was the first time you could ever remember wanting to be seen. Wanting to try to look like the pretty girls who walk the halls everyday vying for the attention of others.

The dance gave you the perfect excuse. Sure, it’s not like you had a date or anyone asking you to go, but you felt so beautiful. The way the dress hugged your body made all the staring and whispering as you walked down the hallway so, so worth it.

“Hey—whoa…” Dustin’s voice dropped when he walked around the corner, arms full of equipment. “Y-you look fantastic!” He said proudly.

Dustin was your favorite Freshmen, always kind and happy to see you.

“Aw, thanks Dusty! You don’t think it’s too much?” You lifted your boot, inspecting it falsely.

Dustin smiled, “It’s too much for 6th period Spanish, but not for Valentine’s Day that’s for sure.”

He unlocked the door, and held it for you.

Dusting grabbed a pen and paper to write down what you’d need the AV Club’s help with after school.

With hands on your hips, you looked around the room. “Okay, so I definitely need the projector, and if you could set it up before—“

An annoying, loud, cocky voice cut you off. “Henderson! What the hell is takin’ you so long?”

Eddie fucking Munson.

You watched as he sauntered into the room, DIO jacket and all. He clapped Dustin on the shoulders before turning his gaze to you.

“Holy shit. That you, Mouse?”

Mouse. A nickname you loathed.

You’d made the mistake of sitting at the Hellfire table your Freshman year, and he’s never let let you live it down. Once Eddie saw just how shy you were, he made it his mission to get under your skin.

He'd plopped down into the seat next to you, assuming you were there to cause him and the guys trouble. “New girl’s trying to get in good with the freaks, hm?”

You jumped and began to frantically pack your belongings, “I-I…I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I’ll just go—"

When he realized you were nervous, he changed his tone. No longer was he on edge, but rather trying to make you laugh. Show you it's okay to give him a taste of his own medicine. “No no, little mouse. You’re not scurrying away that easily.”

Four years later, you’re both still here and Eddie’s been a thorn in your side ever since. You thought you'd be rid of him once he graduated, but he flunked--twice. Condemning you to another year full of his nonsense.

His obnoxious, overly-confident, doe-eyed nonsense.

“Munson.” You couldn’t help the eye roll. “Dustin and I are working on something so,” you flicked your hand toward the door. “Skedaddle.”

“Oof,” he teased. “You kiss your mother with that potty mouth?”

Eddie walked past Dustin, hands on his hips as he took you in. “Why, may I ask, are you dressed so fancy, princess? Hot date with a frog?”

Okay, guess we’re playing this game.

“The only frog I know is you, Munson.”

His hand flew to his heart. “You hear this, Henderson? Who knew Mouse could be such a brat?”

“If you’ll excuse me,” you attempt to sidestep him, but he blocks your path. Big brown eyes watching your every move. “Don’t you have anything better to do than push my buttons?” It’s a pitiful gripe. You know he enjoys this far too much.

“C’mon, sweetheart. If I didn’t talk to you, who the hell would?”

Ouch.

Something no doubt said in jest, but it hurt to realize just how right he was. You had tons of acquaintances, and you got along great with the teachers. As for friends, the well's a bit dry in that department.

You cleared away the tightness in you throat. “Yeah, I don’t have time for this. I’m actually contributing to society. How about you?” Your face was twisted into a sarcastic smile, attempting to hide the hurt.

Eddie on the other hand thought the two of you were simply playing your favorite game. Seeing just how flustered he could make you before you gave him a taste of his own medicine.

“Yeah, you’re a real Nancy Reagan.” He laughed, gesturing to your dress.

Your eyes honed in on him. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means,” he reached out, sweeping a piece of hair off of your cheek. “If you wanted a little attention, you didn’t have to do all this.”

This.

Said as if the word tasted rotten. Disgusted by what you’d considered to be you at your most beautiful.

I must look like a fucking fool.

The stinging in your eyes got stronger every second you stood in his presence. Your gaze locked onto the floor, following your feet as you left. “Bye, Dustin. I’ll see you later.”

Dustin protested, calling you back before turning his disappointed glare to Eddie.

“Dude…” he chided.

Eddie scoffed, “What? Henderson I was joking—she knows that, okay? That’s our whole thing.”

"Eddie, she was crying!"

Were you? No, no way. This is what the two of you do.

"No, she wasn't." He said unconvincingly. "You don't know her like I do, little buddy. She's a good girl, loves the cat-and-mouse of it all." Eddie wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself or Dustin.

Eddie had a fuck of a time in O'Donnell's class, and now on top of all of that, he's late to set up Hellfire.

He moved a bit quicker down the hall, easy enough since most of the school left to get ready for the Desperate Dance. He intentionally always schedules DND on nights like this, that way he'd never have to be caught dead--

Eddie's stopped in his tracks at the sight of the trashcan at the end of the hall. He spots a familiar piece of red fabric hanging out of the bin.

He pulled it like a magician, revealing more and more of the velvet clothing until its fully removed,

A dress.

Your dress.

Why the fuck did you throw it in the trash? You we're the most confident Eddie had ever seen you while you wore this thing.

...and you looked drop dead gorgeous, but that's beside the point.

He heard your voice coming from the gym, and abandoned all thoughts of DND.

Eddie burst through the double doors, ignoring the frilly pink and red decorations for the dance. He weaved between the underclassmen carefully setting up the tables and backdrops to make his way over to you.

You, who now instead of being in your beautiful fucking dress, are in you school-supplied gym uniform. Your hair was pulled back, no longer falling in the perfectly natural way you had it earlier. Your makeup was gone--Eddie didn't mind that, he didn't think you needed it anyway.

But you'd never looked so small to him.

He called your name more gently than you've ever heard him speak. When you turned and saw your dress in his grip, you wanted to disappear.

Had he come to gloat?

"Why the hell was this in the trash?" he's not smirking, or sarcastic when he says it.

"Didn't like it." It's all the pain in your throat will let you get out.

You walk away from him, hurrying to find something else to do beside stand there and be made fun of by Eddie Munson.

"Bullshit," he calls after you, quick on your heels. "You don't wear a dress like this and look the way you look in it and just decide you don't like it."

You could feel the tears returning as soon as you stopped walking. "I don't know what you wanna hear," your back was to Eddie, but you felt his gaze regardless. "I just didn't like it...anymore, okay?"

The fake organization of the ribbons in front of you didn't deter him, he remained behind you in silence until he couldn't take it anymore.

"Did...did I say something? Earlier, in the AV Club." He spoke so softly, and with such sincerity, you'd never know it was Eddie talking to you.

You sniffled, angry at yourself for letting him hear how upset you were. "I don't know what you mean."

"Henderson," He's quick on your heels. "Henderson said you were crying when you left."

You don't--can't say anything. Trying desperately to will the tightness in your throat to go away and the tears to dry before they fall from your eyes. A small, shaking breath passes your lips.

"Please look at me, Mouse." His voice is hushed when he calls out to you.

You turn to him begrudgingly. Hoping if he saw the mess he made he'd leave well enough alone.

But when he sees your face, with red eyes and damp tear-stained cheeks, his heart falls into his stomach.

"Oh, oh sweetheart--"

You beat him to it. "I'm fine, Munson. Just...just give me the stupid thing, okay? I'm better off invisible, anyway."

"You've never been invisible to me." Eddie hands you the dress, and watches as you wring it between your hands. "I'm sorry, Mouse."

You scoff, "You didn't--"

"Yes I did," He says firmly. Eddie steps into you, closer than he's been before. "I made an asinine comment thinking we were playing our little game, but it's not a game if someone gets hurt, especially you."

Eddie swipes away the tear on your cheek with the pad of his thumb. "You looked beautiful. You're always beautiful, but that dress? Honey, I couldn't think straight. I'm a dumbass half the time, but I turned into a god damned Neanderthal when I saw you in that."

Your brain couldn't process what was happening. It almost sounded like Eddie...liked you?

"I thought," You looked down, embarrassed to even say it out loud. "I finally felt pretty, pretty enough to be seen and not just in the background."

Eddie's brow softens at your words, "Mouse, I see you. You're one of the only things I look for throughout the day. Always lookin' out for the pretty shy girl with the smile that makes me go weak in the knees."

You laugh at that. "I guess I always look for the obnoxious metal head that's way too good at getting under my skin."

Eddie chest rumbles with a laugh, too. "You're too good at calling me on my crap, what do you expect me to do?"

A comfortable silence falls between the two of you, and it has Eddie clearing his throat. "Can--can I give you a hug? Hate that I made my favorite girl cry."

The smile on your face speaks volumes, but you nod anyway.

When you're wrapped in Eddie's arms, his warmth seeps through your bones, relieving any tension or nerves. His scent invades your senses, warming your belly and heart. You melt into him completely.

Eddie can't believe how well you fit in his arms, like a damn puzzle piece if you asked him. He smells you shampoo, and memorizes the fragrance, filing it away in his mind as his new favorite smell.

When you pull back, he leans his forehead on yours. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I really am."

You nod, moving his head a bit as it rests on yours. "I know."

Eddie steps away, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Ya know, uh, if you're not busy, I'm running a DND campaign tonight. I'd love it if you sat in and maybe after...I don't know, maybe I could take you to Benny's?"

You smirked, eyes narrowing at him. "You asking me out, Munson?"

His eyes widened in sheer panic, "Oh--oh my God, I read this all wrong, huh? Please just forget--"

You're quick to ease his worry. "I'd love too."

Putting the dress on the table, you offer Eddie your hand. "Show me the way, Dungeon Master."

He takes it eagerly, but doesn't walk anywhere yet.

"Eddie?" You giggle.

"One second, princess. Damn knees turned to jelly again."

[fuctacles]

Congrats on 800 followers!

For the request thing…I would love to see something (smutty and/or fluffy) about Transmasc Eddie being comforted by cis Steve. Maybe after being misgendered in regard to their relationship?

I love your writing so much!

Thank you so much <3 I hope this works :3 800 wc for 800 698 followers, M rating | Ao3

"You can't bring your girlfriend into the bathroom, man."

"Excuse me?"

Just this is enough to put Steve into attack mode. He can feel Eddie's hand tighten around his in warning.

"Yeah, we have a no-bathroom-fucking policy after the last incident." The guy that stopped them has the decency to at least look bashful, rubbing his cheek awkwardly. Steve can almost sympathize, if stopping horny couples is a task he's supposed to do on the daily.

Almost.

"I'm sure me and my boyfriend can find a better place to fuck," he says dryly.

The guy's eyes widen, then flicker to the side, where Eddie is hovering awkwardly.

"Shit, dude, I'm so sorry—"

"So do you stop only hetero couples?" Steve interrupts him with a quirk of an eyebrow, bitch mode in full swing. "Or did your management just forget queer people exist?"

He opens his mouth, but closes it, rendered speechless.

"Or are they actually heterophobic and want only gay sex to happen in their bathrooms?" Steve cocks his head to the side.

"I don't—"

"So can me and my boyfriend go pee or...? We'll hold our hands while doing so," he raises their joined palms. "But nothing more, I promise."

"Just go," the man says tiredly, his expression pained.

"Thanks," Steve nods to him. "And consider simple no-fucking signs."

Finally free from the bar worker, Eddie pulls Steve towards the bathroom. Once inside and away from the loud music, he falls against the door with a sigh.

"Sorry," he says, hands hiding his face.

"What for?" Steve asks, latching the door closed.

"I don't know," Eddie groans in frustration. "For not cutting my hair, maybe? Maybe then I'd look like a man," he scoffs.

"Do I have to list off all the guys with long hair again?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"Ozzy Osbourne, Dio, Slash..." he starts listing on his fingers anyway.

"Steve."

Steve drops his hand.

"Listen, if that guy assumes every person with long hair is a girl, then clearly he's not listening to enough metal."

Eddie lets out an involuntary snort, and Steve grins at the sound.

"And should we believe what an uncultured philistine without taste has to say?"

"No," Eddie admits with a fond roll of his eyes.

"Good," Steve smiles and leans down to kiss him. "Because I love your hair."

"I love it too," Eddie groans, his frustration still not gone. "I just wish it didn't make me feel this way."

"I know, Eds. But it's okay to feel like this, it's normal that it hurts," Steve reminds him, wrapping him in a hug. "You're a man to those who matter, who know what good music is."

Eddie's laughs gets muffled against his shoulder.

"That's true."

"And you're not going to change things you like about yourself because of a stranger's opinion."

"Hell no."

They stay quiet, just enjoying the warmth and comfort of their embrace, until Eddie speaks up again.

"Thank you."

"I'm just reminding you your own words."

"Still."

"Well, in that case, you're welcome, baby."

"Okay, but now I really have to pee."

They disentangle themselves to reach the urinals, but not before Steve lands another peck on his lips.

Eddie always takes longer in the bathroom, considering the time it takes him to disentangle and adjust his packer, but once he's free, he sees movement in his periphery. Steve is holding out his hand.

With a laugh, he grabs it, so they can pee hand in hand.

Once at they are at the sinks, they meet each other's eyes in the mirror.

"I kind of wanna fuck in the bathroom now," Steve admits.

Eddie makes a face and looks pointedly around. It's not the worst bathroom he's been in, but it's still a bar bathroom.

"You're not fucking me here," he says decisively. Steve hums.

"No, but you could fuck me."

Now that's a thought. One Eddie didn't plan in advance.

"Sorry, left my dick at home."

"Babe, you can make me come on just your fingers," Steve reminds him, leaning sideways against the sink to properly look at him.

Eddie pulls a strand of hair over his mouth at the reminder.

"Well..."

"Or we can always make a show and pretend just for kicks." His boyfriend suggests with a mischievous smile.

That, makes Eddie's eyes sparkle.

"We absolutely can," he quickly agrees.

Steve throws himself at the door with a rough slam, and moans in his best impression of a cheesy porn star.

"Fuck, I love you so much," Eddie attacks his mouth with no less enthusiasm. He starts moving his hips against his leg and groan to the rhythm, Steve rattling the door and whimpering along. "I can still fuck you after, right?"

Steve moans again, now more genuinely from the mere thought.

"You'd try not to."

I suck at tags: @blasvemous @wheneverfeasible @phantomcat94

[super-hero-confessions]

"B-But he onwy sacwificed his fwiends and raped that unimportant woman cause he was saaaaad🥺"

Jesus fucking Christ. People are that fucking stupid, apparently. I'd call them clowns but that's disrespectful to clowns.

There is literally no excuse to sacrifice other people for your own personal gain, it does not matter what you have been through. Sacrifice yourself if it means so much to you—other people's lives are not yours to bargain with.

Griffith is a pathetic piece of shit with zero rhyme, reason or excuse for his behavior. It does not matter what he has been through, that is never going to excuse megalomania and the harm he does.

Frieza and Dio are in better places than him morally for fuck's sake.

[fireyfobbitmedicine]

I am so sick to death of seeing proshitters in this tag

I don't give a shit if it's fictional, pedophilia and incest are fucking bad no matter what

All the Jojos are related to each other so they of course can't be shipped together, this also applies to Dio because even shipping adopted siblings is incest and pairing him with Jonathan and his descendants (ESPECIALLY HIS KIDS) is still fucking incest

Giorno and Josuke are literal teenagers while Mista, Buccelati, and Rohan are adults and shipping them together is also very fucking bad because guess what pedophilia is fucking bad (and don't you even dare fucking bring up the age of consent in Japan and Italy because that's just gonna expose what a creepy dick you are if you actually did research to see if it's legal to fuck kids there)

I don't give a shit what excuses you come up with ("oh but it's legal here" "they're not blood related" "17 is pretty close to 18") because proshitters are nothing but fucking pedophiles who have the audacity to bitch at you for being a "prude" for overreacting to a piece of shit like them treating shit like this as a fucking fetish

[queerponcho]

Please

A/N: Hi hello, girlies!! I am back from my lil break hehe. I've been working alot and organising my shit and i finallz have time to post smth again ㄟ(≧◇≦)ㄏ This is just a little oneshot I really enjoyed writing hehe<3

moonknight x f!reader

warnings: sexual tension, first person perspective, the tension could be cut with a butterknife lmao

1700 words

“Are you serious??” I ask my mom incredulously. “You’re really gonna make us sleep apart?? We aren’t the ones getting married! I thought this rule only applied for the groom and bride?” we had barely stepped into the house and the stressed energy was messing up our newly engaged mood. Of course we haven’t told anyone about the engagement due to the focus being on my sister. I didn’t want to take any of the focus off of her but it was really hard to keep it for myself. I love the boys and I would kill for a chance to show off the pretty crescent shaped yellow diamond-ring they had got me. It’s so beautiful and I’d have never taken it off if it wasn't so obviously an engagement-ring. 

“Oh honey, you’re gonna be fine! Please just do this- for your sister? It’s only for three nights-”, “Three nights????” I whisper-yelled. My mom and I were in the study and were tryna keep our voices down since Marc was in the kitchen with the groom and my dad. My sister was somewhere ticking off last-minute tasks with her bridesmaids. I would be with her right now if I hadn't just flown in from london…I am secretly kindof glad to be home first though. I had talked with her on the phone before coming here and she sounded really stressed. As soon as she gets here I won’t be able to leave her side. Arriving early provides me with sufficient time to show my boys around the neighbourhood and my childhood-home. 

“Ay mija porfavor! It's three damn nights! Stop behaving like a teenager and make a sacrifice for your sister. Por dios…” without waiting for my answer she makes a swift exit out the door making sure to avoid looking at me so I can’t keep the dispute going. She certainly knew how to end an argument. 

I follow her to the kitchen, wiping the pissed off expression off my face before anyone can spot it. As I enter I see the beautifully tanned, dimpled face I love so much doing his absolute best to keep up small-talk with the future husband of my anxiety-riddled sister. He sees me and his eyes immediately hone in on me, practically begging me to save him from the current discussion about the latest tennis match. I decide to grant him his wish and slide over to his side of the kitchen island, my arm circles around his waist and I tighten my grip on him and smile when he completely gives me his full attention. 

“Hi baby” I say with a sweet smile and turn to the groom to properly say hello and take the lead on the casual conversation. Marc moves me in front of him swiftly and circles both his arms around my waist, he quickly kisses my temple and continues to listen in on the conversation, once more taking his favoured role as a spectator. 

The polite conversation is cut short by a nervous call from a bridesmaid to the groom. Apparently they needed a last minute decision on the song since the artist of the initial choice had been cancelled a few days before. 

Marc and I quickly made our way up the stairs to my room so I could fill him in on the “separate bedroom”- Situation. “So this is where you had all your awkward phases, huh?” “Excuse me? I never had awkward phases. I have definitely never ever worn 4 layers of ripped tights thinking I had made a huge fashion discovery, nah- never…” 

“Mhm okay- seems like a really specific example, cariño” Jake moves behind me and softly kisses my neck, littering quick gentle kisses all over. “Amor- profa. The door- my mom” Right on cue I hear my moms platform house-shoes make their way down the hall. I push Jake off of me and he stumbles into the dresser completely bewildered by my actions. “Niña!! ¿Dónde estás? Your sister needs you!” I lean out the door to answer. “Okay mom! Just lemme change out of these clothes!” “¡Pero ponte las pilas!” “¡¡Ay ya mamà!! I’m coming!!” I yell back as I hear her walk back down the steps. 

I take a frustrated breath and turn to my luggage to unpack it as quickly as I can, desperate to find an outfit that is cute but also comfortable in case I wanna fall asleep in the cab on my way over to my sister. 

“What the hell was that?” oh…oops. “Shit- Jake I am so sorry, I swear- I didn’t think- are you hurt?” I worriedly reached out to him to check him.

“Physically I’m not, but emotionally I might be” he says in a joking tone, clearly thinking my reaction was more funny than hurtful but he still wanted to know why I’d done it. 

He leans back against the dresser and I move to stand between his legs and reach up to give him a quick peck on the lips. “I’m sorry baby- It’s just my mom has never really seen me be all like, close with anyone like this. Like, she knew I’d had partners but like, if she met them the most I’d do in front of her is like, hold their hands…I’m sorry I freaked out.” I look down as I tug on my fingers feeling the anxiety crawl up my throat. 

“Ay cariño, it’s alright. Just so you know, I wouldn’t want your mom to see me casually kiss your neck either. We should save that for when the door is closed, okay?” he hugs me back into him and I snuggle into his firm chest and nod.

“About that, you kinda owe us, you know- for body slamming us into the dresser and breaking our ribs and stuff.” 

“Woooooww you’re lying so hard right now. I did not nearly shove you as hard as that.” I giggle 

“Oh? Are you minimising my pain? Bold move for someone that's gonna have to share a bed with me tonight.” he grins and moves his hands down to my ass to give it a firm squeeze, which makes his wolfish grin only worsen.

As he is moving in on my collarbone to lick and kiss it I lose my train of thought. I was gonna say something wasn’t I? There was something important…

He makes his way up and nibbles on my earlobe, biting it and sending a beautiful ache down my spine by doing so.

He moves me backwards until my legs hit my bed and gently lays me down. As he keeps going I feel the sensation of my soft sheets underneath me and I am reminded of a dreadful conversation.

“B-baby- can *mnnh* can you ple-ease sto-p” he lifts his head, his glossed over, hungry eyes piercing into mine as he licks his wet lips. Ugh he is making this so much harder right now. I take a few deep breaths and form the words. “W-we have to sleep in separate rooms-” “he blinks and his deep and sultry voice is quickly replaced by a worried English man. “Whot why??- Did we do something wrong?” he backs away and sits back on his shins. “Nono! No sweetie you-you were perfect. God you were- fucking perfect but my- my mom wants us to sleep separately for the next three nights-”, “three nights????” “i know baby-”, “but we just got back from a mission yesterday- We haven’t spent a night together in like 2 weeks-”, “I know love- But mom she, she insisted. She is saying it’s cuz my sister wants it that way but I'm pretty sure she just doesn't like the thought of me in bed with a man I haven't married. Especially cuz I’m pretty sure my mom has just outright refused to consider that me and my sister might have an active sex-life…” 

“Right and we can’t tell her about our engagement yet…this blows” Marc says exasperatedly and slumps down on the bed.

“I know babe. Let's just do this. It's just three days and then we can head back. And remember we got those first class tickets for our way back…they have those big bathrooms in the firstclass part of the plane…” I look at him and bat my eyelashes and run my hands up his thighs, feeling him tense under my grip.

“Mmh beba, don’t promise things you can’t follow through” Jake rakes his eyes over your face in a dark gaze. “Mmh baby have I ever broken a promise?” I lean forward, resting my weight completely on his thighs, our lips almost touching. Marc looks up at me through his lashes and his usual tense expression melts away at the intensity of me. “...no, you would never” he breathes. I move my head next to his and move towards his ear, my lips ghosting over the shell of it and I can see the goosebumps rising on his neck by the soft contact.

“So, all you have to do…is be patient” I punctuate my statement by softly nibbling at their earlobe. I part away from him and before I can stand up he grabs my wrist. “Oh, luv you can’t expect us to hold through for 3 days without a touch from you or getting at least a little taste of you now and again. It's been weeks- I-” I look at his pleading eyes and before I can say anything he continues. “Look what you do to us-” He pulls my hand and places it on his hard crotch. And oh god was it hard- “by merely being in the same room with you-” he whines and I feel myself pitying Steven and his needy state. He slowly grinds against my palm as I stare at him trying really hard to argue with myself why this can’t continue until I’ve watched him cum at least three times-

“HIJA- WHERE ARE YOU??” I basically lunge myself off the bed and sprint towards the door, throwing my entire weight against it to keep it from being opened. “Coming mami!! Five minutes!” I breathe out from relief when I hear my moms shoes click-clacking down the hall and back down the stairs. I move away from the door and look back at Marc…He looks delicious. His hair; a mess and he is resting on his elbows, his knees spread apart, making it impossible to look away from the bulge protruding through his fitted slacks. “I’m not sure I’ll make it through these three days either, to be honest…”

a/n: hope you all loved it and stuck around eventhough i haven't been very active lately. love you guys and pls like, comment, reblog if you liked it!! I love getting to read your reactions and feedback<33

[dovabunny]

(Ghost)Soap AU Concept - His Hair

Cw: angst, minor character death mention, miscommunication. Inspired by Wine and Wheat by Noel_o on Ao3

Soap looks down at his trembling hand holding the electric razor, the buzz not drowning out the words echoing in his mind.

"You're not even a little embarrassed?" "No one will take you seriously looking like that." "It looks ridiculous!" "Did you really think-"

He lifts it to his head.

...

The night started with Soap in high spirits. He was proud of the latest mission - his new self-made bombs saved the day and maybe he was feeling a little cocky.

Which is usually nothing new or problematic when surrounded by his closest friends - Ghost, Gaz, Price, Rudy and Ale.

🧼: tellin ye, Cap', I deserve some chest candy for my ingenuity! Might just have rewritten the military demolitions handbook today.

Price just rolls his eyes.

That's when it started.

🧢: No offense, mate. But you show up at HQ with that hair, no one will take you seriously.

Ale choked on his beer, Rudy tried to hide a smile. "Dios mio, so it's not just us who thinks it looks ridiculous?" Ale looked to Price. "How is that allowed?"

💰: We're not sticklers for regulation in the 141 - but maybe we'll have to make an exception this time.

They all laughed and agreed.

Soap didn't. He felt his throat close and had to remind himself that they're just teasing, they don't mean it.

Rudy, sweet, kind Rudy gave his 5 cents next. "You're brilliant with bombs, friend, but really - you look in the mirror and decide that's your style? Not even a little embarrassed?"

Soap swallowed thick.

This isn't new. He's been mercilessly teased about his mowhak for that last 15 years. Till he joined the 141. He'd thought he was finally past shallow insults.

His ma had told him she loves it, three weeks before she lost her long battle, her own hair having fallen out months before. So he kept it.

He tried to deflect, be the usual fun, bubbly Soap they used to respond well to.

🧼: ah c'mon, ye are all just jealous ye can't touch my destructive talents!

Then the killing blow struck.

Ghost, the only man he's ever truly wanted, whose opinion mattered more than anything else.

Ghost chuckled, shoulders shaking with it as he shook his head. Surely he wouldn't-

💀: They're not wrong. You look like a 80s punk band reject, Soap.

'Soap'. Not Johnny. Ghost cares about Johnny, not Soap. He hopes...

💀: C'mon Johnny, you didn't really think it's a style that demands respect.

The agreeing laughter around the table didn't feel friendly, it felt cruel.

Was he really a laughing stock to them? Did they talk like this behind his back too? Was he just a joke they kept around cause he was good at blowing shit up.

They never even cared to ask why he had it.

He gave a rough brittle laugh, kept his head down, and made a half-assed excuse of needing to piss. Keeping his face turned away he rushed to the bathroom, he knows he's not strong enough to face the teasing if they see the tears in his eyes.

He climbs out the window and leaves.

No one texts or calls to check in him on the way back, walking instead of taking a taxi, hoping to clear his head. It didn't help. His ma always called him her gentle boy, said his heart was good and to protect it.

She was right about that. But turns out, wrong about his hair.

He can't fix what he's like on the inside. It stays broken no matter how he tried.

But he can fix what he's like on the outside. Make him look fixed, at least.

He picks up the electric razor he kept for the sides of his head. Ghost usually shaved it for him. He always teased that he was gonna shave it all...

A lock of hair falls.

[sopiao]

can you please write a insecure chubby reader with ghost, price and soap?(separate ofc) ive been feeling REALLY shitty lately and your fics are so comforting😭😭

YES. I LOVE WRITING CHUBBY READER SHIT!!!

(brings me to tears to hear my fics r comforting :,,))

anyways :3

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

Ghost would be the type to be obsessed with you, obsessed with touching you, but he’d never admit it. Just sitting next to you isn’t enough, he man spreads as an excuse to press his thigh against yours, an arm wrapped around the couch to be closer to you.

This man is just so enamored by you. He’d lay on your bed, pretending to be in his phone, while he watches you do your makeup and pick out an outfit for your date night tonight.

It’s a natural occurrence for you to get discouraged by yourself midway through your preparation. Being with him, your mind just turns off and there ain’t a care in the world. But in the midst of your makeup routine you start to get more insecure, your self esteem plummeting when you realize how round your face is and squishy your cheeks are. But that is exactly Ghost’s favorite part of you is.

He pinches your cheeks to scold you, pulling you in with his arm around you to give you 50 kisses on your soft cheeks, doesn’t matter if some of your makeup gets on his face/mask. Sometimes bites them, not too hard ofc, when he feels like it.

“You alright, lovely?” He stops whatever he’s pretending to be busy with on his phone, immediately dropping it to his side as he sits up.

“Yeah.. just.. having one of this moments y’know?” You sigh, peeking back up to continue adding your makeup, he can tell that it’s more than just a moment. Bringing himself up he makes his way towards you, leaning forward over your shoulders to rest his arms on the edge of your vanity. Making you look up and rest the top of your head on his chest.

“Just continue, just wanna watch you” He mutters quietly, as he urges you to move on. Hesitantly, you continue, trying to ignore how Ghost dios his head down to cover the sides of your neck in kisses, leading all the way up to your cheeks. Trying to keep your giggles in as his lips tickle you.

Ghost laughs along with you, eventually tightly wrapping his arms around your middle and peppering your face all over with kisses and smooches, making you burst laughing and beaming at his affections.

“Love this cute, cute face” He smiles against you, nuzzling his face into your neck and covering your collarbones in love pecks.

“So soft, n squishy, like a marshmallow, n so so delicious” He let out in between your laughs and kisses, making your push him away, giggling.

“Fine, fine. Go away! I have to finish” He smiles, letting go of you and complying. But not before attacking you with another fat smooch.

Captain Johnathan Price

John is a very very affectionate man, and he is not afraid to show it. Always a hand in your back pocket or hip when you to walk together, has you sitting on his lap while he does work, even when he sleeps he makes sure an arm is wrapped around you at all times, little spanks on the ass when you walk by, and holds your face in both of his hands while he covers you in kisses.

It was a lazy Sunday today, he wanted to sleep in, arm laying across your thighs while you’re sitting up and on your phone. Scrolling through Instagram, you somehow ended up on a feed of posts of style and fashion, models and photoshoots of incredibly skinny and beautiful models.

Starting to feel like shit you feel like totally drained even after just waking up. You sighed and let your head hit the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. You don’t know how but he can tell, tell every shift in your mood, every thought in your head, he knew you better than you.

“What’s wrong, hun?” He asked, already knowing what’s wrong but wanting you to let it all out. You don’t respond but just shake your head, saying your still just a little tired. Bull. He was literally watching your phone, knowing what was going through your mind.

Without warning, Price sits up, picking you up like you weigh nothing and placing you on his lap, sometimes you forget how strong he is.

“I know what’s going through that pretty little head of yours. And I want you to know how fuckin’ stupid your are right now” He flashes you his charming, sleeping smile at you, putting you at ease a little you smile back and look away.

“I know, I know. It’s just sometimes… I don’t feel..” He huffs out a chuckle, shaking you a little by your hips to get a response, tilting his head to the side to see you better.

“It’s stupid”

“It’s not” He chuckles.

“Sometimes, I don’t feel very… sexy. Sometimes I wonder if your still attracted to me” You whisper, so quietly if he wasn’t listening any closer he couldn’t make out anything your saying. Making him laugh, at first it made you angry, thinking he’s just totally dismissing what your feeling.

“Honey. Sometimes I really do have to question if you have a brain in there” John smiles, squeezing your hips and pressing you closer to him.

“If you don’t think that this is sexy” His eyes grazing from your face to your hips and thighs, rough hands caressing every part of you.

“Then I don’t know what is. ‘Cause seeing this gets me so so worked up” His eyes shift back up to you, pushing you down on the mattress and lifting your shirt up— was actually his shirt— hands going up to caress and rub at your sides before placing a kiss from your chest all the way down to your waist. Making his way down to your thighs, he goes up to see your content but flustered expression.

“And I am still so in love with you, let alone attracted to you. Seeing you in my shirt, in my bed, in my house— our house— makes me feel so young and refreshed again” He pulls up to hold your cheek, giving a little peck to your forehead, then your nose.

Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish

Just getting straight to the point. Soap is 1000% a thigh man. Loves every-fucking-thing about them. Loves napping on them, loves having them wrapped around his head. Not even in the sexual sense, just sitting there on his phone with your plush thighs against his cheeks with you mindlessly playing with his hair sends him into pure bliss. This is his nirvana.

He loves biting them, pinching them, slapping them, grabbing them. Like I said, everything. Loves seeing them in shorts, leggings, practically anything. The second you first say anything negative about them, about you. He looses it.

“What.”

“??? I don’t know. It’s just such a hassle with clothes and chairs. Makes it hard to move through crowds. Seeing them double in size when I sit with my skinner friends makes me feel fat—“ You start on your mini rant when your boyfriend cuts you off.

“Fat? FAT? Oh, baby. You don’t even know what fat is” He sits up from laying his bed between your thighs to lay on his belly, arms around your sides and chin resting in your chest.

“I fucking love these” Soap grabs the back of your thighs and squeezes, making you blush.

“And you should too. How I see you doesn’t matter much. But hearing that you don’t like you and your body is and insult to you and to the God that took his sweet ol’ time making you. ‘Cause all of this. Is a Goddamn master piece” In the middle of his lecture and scolding he’s pulled you in by your hips to slide up on his lap, looking up at you wish such adoring, puppy love eyes.

[the-offside-rule]

Carlos Sainz Jr (Scuderia Ferrari) - Christmas Trouble

Requested: yes

Prompt: Christmas Oneshot with Carlos

Warnings: not really

Carlos stretched in his bed and let out a groan. Christmas Day had arrived, the day his family decided to come over and visit him at his brand new home in Madrid. He turned to his right and lowered his arm, expecting an empty bed only to find his arm resting on the curves of a person lying beside him. His eyes opened. A woman. She squirmed as she felt his arm on her waist. She turned around so she was now facing the Spaniard and opened her eyes, initially smiling, only for that smile to turn to a frown. "Who are you?" the girl asked. "I could ask you the same." Carlos replied. "I asked first." Carlos looked down, seeing her in a red lingerie set. His eyebrow arched as it peaked his interest. She followed his line of vision and quickly covered up. "As I was saying, who are you?"

He snapped out of his dream land and came back to reality. "I'm Carlos and you're in my house so now it's your turn. Who are you?" She sat up. "Y/n. I'm visiting Madrid for Christmas." She rubbed her forehead. "Oh my god. My friend, she must be so worried about me." Carlos sat up and Eyed up the mirror at the bottom of his bed, seeing his reflection, sitting shirtless beside a girl in lingerie. His eyes lingered over to her reflection as she grabbed whatever shirt he must have been wearing the night before and pulled it over her. She noticed the mirror at the bottom fo the bed. "Isn't a mirror at the bottom of the bed some kind of sexual thing?" Carlos didn't expect that question. He rolled out of bed and stood up, pulling on his sweatpants. "No, mirrors on the ceiling are sexual. Mirrors at the bottom of beds are just normal."

There was a bit of a silence "Did we?" Carlos asked. "I don't even know but it looks like it." Carlos groaned and looked out the window. He saw a car pull up outside his house. His face dropped. "Oh shit." He muttered. "Okay, listen. You need to stay in here at all costs until I say." Carlos said, rushing out. Before Y/n could reply or have anything to say, Carlos was already gone. She sat on the bed, listening to indistinct spanish chattering and the occasional laugh here and there but truth be told, she was bored. So bored in fact, she ended up sleeping and thisis where it started to all go very, very wrong.

After a few hours of the Sainz family sat around the living room, sipping on wine and conversing about random things happening in one another's lives, they too grew in some way, bored. The chatter died down and they ran out of things to say and so, during the awkward silence, Carlos' mother excused herself to use the bathroom. Once she was gone, it was pure silence. Just the soft sound of his mothers feet moving around, then going up the stairs. It had been ages since Carlos awoke to his one night stand, leading to him completely forgetting she was even up in his room, so when he heard his mother go upstairs, he thought nothing of it.

"Ay dios mío!" Carlos heard his mother screeching. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Give me a minute. I'm going to check on her." Carlos scurried around, searching for his mother, only for his face to drop once he realised where she was, and with that, he remembered who was in his bed. He sprinted up the stairs, his feet bounding against the wooden platforms on the way up and practically skidding to a halt in his room. "Carlos? Who is this?" his mother asked. "Mama? Why are you in my room?!" Carlos shrieked. "Your bathroom wasn't working so I was going to use your bedroom one." Not long after that, the rest of his family joined them, looking as shocked as the mother. "So, who is this?" she questioned again. Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat. She was about to come clean when Carlos bet her to it. "My girlfriend." Carlos stammered. Everyone looked at him in disbelief. "You have a girlfriend?" his sister asked. Carlos nodded and gripped Y/n a little bit tighter. "We thought we could keep it a secret. We wanted some privacy." Y/n added. His mother looked at him in disbelief. "And her name?"

"Y/n." Carlos said, bringing her forward. Y/n out her hand out to shake his mother's hand, forcing a smile onto her face. "It's so lovely to meet you." She found her hand being taken. "Reyes. His mother." she replied, now smiling. "Carlos has told me so many things about you. All good, dont worry." She looked her up and down and gave a look of approval to Carlos. "Well we shouldn't keep her from changing her clothes so we'll go back to the living room." Carlos nodded and watched as his family left, letting out a sigh of relief. "Here, wear this." Carlos said handing her a jumper. "Girlfriend? Really?" Y/n whispered as she pulled the jumper over her. "What do you want me to say? That you're a one night stand?" Carlos asked. "I don't know but now I'm gonna have to be here a lot for your family to believe we are actually dating for your little lie to actually come across as your girlfriend."

"Just-" he paused and faced her. "look happy." Carlos and Y/n walked out, a smile on their faces, acting like a happy couple. "You two are very much cute." Blanca, who was Carlos' sister said. "Try not to scare her off just yet." Y/n sat down beside Carlos on the sofa, laughing nervously. Carlos curled his arm around her shoulders and held her closely to him. "So, gifts. Who's going to open theirs first?" Y/n relaxed into his chest as she watched the family tear open wrapping paper, opening up their gifts. She felt her phone buzz. She opened it to see a message from her friend.

Y/n? Where are you? Are you alright?

She looked between her phone and the family when typing back a response.

I'm fine. I'll just be held up a bit until later tonight. dw

Y/n didn't take her phone out the rest of the day. It stayed in her pocket. When they were opening their gifts, when they were eating breakfast, when they watched Christmas movies. She didn't look at her phone, not even once. She was too focused on trying to make this façade of being the girlfriend of Carlos to do anything. "I need the bathroom." Y/n whispered about halfway through the Grinch. Carlos nodded and let her go, kissing her hand as she went.

She walked around the hallway, forgetting exactly where the bathroom was. She opened doors and closed them in search of it but couldn't find it. She opened one door in particular and groaned as she didn't see a toilet. As she was about to close the door, she paused and looked back in. She looked around confused at everything in the room.

Carlos Sainz jr, siguiendo los pasos de su padre

Carlos Sainz jr. consigue un podio en Brasil!

Es un segundo cercano con Carlos Sainz jr en Monza!

Her eyes went wide as she looked beside the newspaper clippings and looked at the magnificent trophies and helmets beside them. "He's a fucking racing driver." she whispered in shock. She scurried out of the room and peaked into the living room. "Carlos? Babe?" Carlos turned and smiled at her. She hadn't called him babe before that moment. "Yes amor?" Carlos asked. "Can I talk to you? In the kitchen please?" Carlos stood up. "Of course, excuse me for a moment guys." Carlos followed her into his kitchen. "What's up-"

"You didn't think to tell me you were a racing driver?" Carlos arched a brow. "I thought you knew I was?" Y/n shook her head. "Well I knew you must do something because of this massive house but I didn't think you were a racing driver!" Carlos sighed. "Well I don't know what to say. I drive cars fast for a living." Y/n rubbed her temples. "Right, okay. It's fine. I'll just play along. I still don't know what we will do after this." Carlos smirked. "Well I wouldn't mind a round two." She slapped his chest. "We'll see." They returned to the living room shortly after and resumed their hugging position when Ana smiled at how cute they were. She sneakily took out her phone and recorded them, then tagging Carlos and posting it on her story. Then she stood up. "Family photo!" Ana said, setting up the camera on the mantlepiece. Carlos and Y/n began panicking. Carlos didn't want anyone assuming he had a girlfriend when he didn't and Y/n didn't want to be seen. "Oh, I can just take the photo if you want-"

"No, no, no. You're part of the family now!" Y/n just nodded along. "Yeah, sure okay. That's fine." The camera flashed, a good five times before Ana rushed over to have a look at the collection. "Oh my goodness, these photos are great!" Carlos and Y/n shared a look, a look that showed that both of them knew they were fucked. Ana had opened her instagram, grinning. "Carlos, you're trending." Carlos took her phone and looked at it, his face turning more serious. "Did you just post a video of me and Y/n on your story?" Ana nodded. "Ana! This is exactly what we didn't want! We wanted to be kept secret!"

"I'm sure she can just take it down-"

"No, it's too late now! It's been up for ten minutes, many people could have screenshotted it." Carlos was leaning over, his head in his hands. Y/n rubbed his back. "I'm sorry Carlos, I really am." Carlos shrugged it off. "It's fine. It's fine. Y/n, how about you help me with the Christmas Dinner and they can set the table, eh?" Y/n nodded and away they went again to cook. "Fuck." Y/n whispered. "So what do we do now?" Carlos shrugged. "I seriously don't know. I wish I did." Y/n groaned. "I guess you'll be getting a round 2 sooner than you thought." Carlos laughed at the light hearted joke. "We'll just pretend to date for a few months and then we'll break up." Carlos thought for a minute and nodded. "That's not too bad of an idea." Y/n put her hand out. "So we are agreed?" Carlos took her hand. "We are agreed princesa."

Yes, they agreed on breaking up but come on. Do you really think they did it? Of course not. Especially not when on that day, three years later, Carlos gave her a box, tightly wrapped and sat beside her, in front of the fireplace to ask her to be his wife.

[instarsandcrime]

A Divine Comedy of Errors

Hey @zensations35, guess who? Your Ra//dio//App//le request is all done! We've got Sick!Seraphim!Lu/ci/fer and Worried!A/la/stor. I did my best to balance the silly, the hurt, the comfort, the snz, and the feels! And I chose the macro and monsterfucker parts because it is my personal responsibility to experiment with my writing and, in the process, make myself suffer at all times. 👍

This is a sequel to my previous fic Overworked and Under-Managed, but honestly it can also be a standalone thing too! Though I did sprinkle in a few romantic gestures this time for good luck! And like before, I'm working off another Sick//tember//2024 prompt. This time it's "taking a sick day".

Quick cw! There's also a little bit of mess and, although it's not much, I still wanted to give a heads up just in case!

Alright, that's all from me. Enjoy!

---

“This is stupid.”

“Now now, there’s no need to be so touchy, Your Majesty.” Alastor cautioned, peering over a shoulder at his pathetic patient. Pouting, fluffy nightrobe wrapped snugly around his shivering frame. One arm bunching up the warm collar around his neck, a tissue box tucked under another.

“Hey! You dragged me out of bed at three in the morning without explaining anything and now I’m- ugh!” Disgust twisted the demon king’s face as he kicked swamp sludge from a poor, unsuspecting duck slipper, “—wading through whatever this shit is in the middle of a bayou! I can be as– uff! touchy as I want to be!”

“Hah! If you actually chose to sleep rather than push yourself to the breaking point, maybe then you wouldn't be here spouting your grand excuses.”

”Well maybe it's because I suck at bed rest, okay?! Sure I've got the bed part down. That's simple! Easy! One quick hop and you're done! But the rest part? Nope. Nuh-uh. The second I close my eyes I feel a tickle. And when I feel a tickle I just know I'll cause some kind of chaos around the hotel. So it's my responsibility to keep myself under control in case I– ...in ca-case I...hih!" A pause. His nose twitched, breaths turning shallow. He couldn't help but groan in frustration as he ripped a cluster of tissues from his box to stifle painfully for the billionth time.

"Ht’chnx! Hn’chxt! H-hehhh–” Sneeze. In case he sneezed. Saints above was he sick of doing that. “Heh’TCHNX’hewww…ow."

“And what well-timed proof of your incompetence. I should be grateful, really.” Alastor grumbled, dusting the newly created pink glitter from his suit. 

“Oh shut…up…hhh–!” Before Lucifer could even lift a finger to suppress another possible fit, the other slid to his back. Squeaking in alarm when his arms were restrained by the crook of an elbow, spraying a fine mist straight into a gloved palm.

“Het’CHMPH! Guhhh…” Lucifer glared up at the looming demon, “Hey, what’s the big idea?!”

Alastor released his hold with a grimace, quickly disposing the near-soaked fabric into his shadow– followed by a spoonful of hand sanitizer. “Admittedly not very big, but certainly necessary.” 

“What do you mean by–”

“Ah, here we are.”

The Radio Demon surged forward, hooking a large fan of willow leaves with his cane to reveal a sudden clearing. Moss spread thickly across the plush, overgrown field, ripples peacefully lapping at the water’s edge. Fireflies hovered just above, hemming the murky surface with a soft, warm light. It was a breathtaking sight, and it made Lucifer pale entirely. Because now he knew what was happening.

And he hated it.

“Look, Alastor, I’m not going to lie. You're the worst. Your breath stinks like a rotting carcass. Every time you open your mouth all I hear is claws on a chalkboard. And Father forbid you get a few centuries of beauty sleep because wow you need a serious makeover.”

“Is there a point to all this, or are you asking me to push you into the swamp water? At this rate I’m inclined to choose the latter.”

“The point is! The point. Is. I can't ruin something like this. This bayou is precious to you. Louisiana is precious to you.”

“Oh, please. Have you forgotten who I am? I made this place, I could easily undo whatever meager scratches you cause.“

“But that’s—”

"Regardless, your creative powers leak through whether you like it or not. You might as well release it in a space that won't harm the hotel."

“I don’t– hehhh!”

“And no, you will not get stuck in your condition by 'letting yourself go.'” Alastor stressed, pinching the space between his eyes. “If I may speak freely Sire– this is ridiculous. You’re exhausted and ill beyond belief, and if you suppress one more magic-infested sneeze I will tie your hands to the ground myself. For God’s sake, the cure to your condition eluded me until you accidentally let the damn thing slip at dinner! So what, pray tell, is so beneath the King of Hell?"

”H-heh-aht’chhhh! I'm—ht’chnx!“

“Is the transformation painful?”

“N-nuhh– no– Aht’CHSHH!”

”Does it drive you mad beyond all belief?”

“No!” Lucifer wheezed out, “Focus! I’m trying to tell you thahhh…that…sonofahhhHATSCHH-‘TCH–’TSCHH’hhiew!”

But Alastor was not focused on his disjointed, half-assed reasoning. Nor the painful failures to bury his fit through the whistle of little fireworks that followed. No, Alastor was focused on the sight that briefly flickered behind his patient. It was for only a second-- a blink and anyone would miss it-- but it was there. There, and massive. And judging by the way Lucifer suddenly froze, he'd known the same. His stare fell to his feet, pulling back his collar to reveal a fracture in his porcelain skin. Holy light pierced through the growing cracks, and Alastor found himself squinting curiously at the sight– as if the true puppeteer of such a tiny doll didn’t satisfy the hunger enough.

“Ugh, forget it! You wihh…win…‘Etchhh!”

“Good.”

“Grea– snff!-- great!”

“A pleasure doing business with you.”

A pause.

“Well?”

“I, uh. I can't do it if you're watching.”

“Oh for God’s sake.”

“Look, do you want me to take this shit off or not?!” Lucifer spat, flames spouting from his lips.

"Phrasing, Your Majesty." Alastor sighed, begrudgingly turning his back. “Better?”

乃𝒆ţt𝐄𝓇.

The sinner nearly jumped in place. It was certainly a voice that rang out— or something along those lines. More of a chorus of pitches and concepts of tone. And yet they harmonized as one.

Ť𝑒𝔰丅ιℕ𝔾, Ｔεsting!  Well. At least the idiot’s mind remains intact. It would cause quite a scene if he had to drag the drama king kicking and screaming from another plane of existence. Whew! Okay, you can look now. But take it slow because hoo boy it is a  l o t. 

The Radio Demon decided to go as slowly as he pleased– with all the caution of a bull in a china shop. And all too quickly he chastised himself, holding a hand to his temple. Maybe, just maybe, the seraphim’s warning was not unfounded.

Though the pocket of home was designed to be near endless, his mind couldn't conceive the number of wings that crossed the metaphysical. They were still somehow boxed into such a wide universe, glancing around with eyes that decorated each feather like adorned jewels. Or so the sinner presumed before the memory continued to fade for another. In fact, the only tangible features he could possibly grasp at the moment were flowing robes and two small wings that wrapped around a near-featureless head like a blindfold. 

And yet the being could see perfectly, thin lips pulled into a frown, staring with-- ah. Alastor was just adjusting, but he could certainly recognize the overwhelming anxiety. The least surprising part that he did expect, of course, was his size. He didn't just crane over Alastor. He towered over him-- a far cry from the false shell he wore. Somehow, Alastor stuffed down a pang of petty anger that threatened to overtake him.

He'll lecture the idiot on giving him a proper fight later. 

Alastor? Are you alright? The ground trembled ever-so-slightly as the Saint slowly, carefully lowered himself. 

"I'm offended that you’d even ask." The caretaker took a small step back before hopping up on a folded knee, giving it a sympathetic pat-- earning an embarrassed flush that overtook fever.

Oh, thank goodness. I almost-- I... The wings around them flared, puffing at each desperate buildup. Quickly Lucifer drew a wavering finger in a circle to create a portal, grabbing a familiar crimson fabric before pitching into it. "ATSHHHHEWW! AHDT’SCHHHHEEWW! HATSCHHHHHIIEEEWW!"

Each shiver of ivory skin sent shockwaves through the flora below– and from above sent Alastor hurtling towards the reeds.

Shit, I-I can’t see you! Did you fall? Are you okay? Lucifer squeaked, infinite irises darting.

"Okay is certainly an overstatement, Sire. You nearly ruined my coat!" An offended huff brushed the seraphim’s ever-shaping ear and, once again, The Radio Demon was meticulously scanned. Paying no mind to the sudden attention in the shadowy nook of his patient’s shoulder, playing with a tuft of shimmering plumage.

Sorry! Don't know m'own strength. Lucifer’s large body hunched in on itself in shame, quickly pressing the makeshift tissue to the space where his nose should be– now golden-tipped with irritation– desperate not to sniffle too strongly.

"Is that my blanket." Alastor's smile sharpened.

I panicked okay?!

All too suddenly the complaints stopped. Time for the saint came to a standstill, and Alastor was barely able to wonder if that was a very literal metaphor before the cotton-knit carpet beneath him hiked up again. He quickly pinned himself to Lucifer’s neck, bracing for–

“ETCHH’CHHHHHF!” He doubled over again. S-sorry, sorry! I can’t help it! I’m trying to hold back but I cahh– can’t–huh-hgf! “ATSHH’HHHHHF! HUH’ATTKSHHHEWWWW!” Rrrgh, forget it! You should go be-before– hhhHHH!

Panicking, a multitude of palms weaved into being. Desperate to stifle again, quick to suffocate–

“Oh, please.” 

Black tentacles wrapped around countless wrists and yanked, pinning them and the seraphim to the ground. He cracked open a watery eye, strikingly bright with anger as he watched Alastor hop up on his cheek. When I break– “Snff!” –break free I swear I’ll–!

“Do what, might I ask? You’ve threatened my life a million times, what’s one more?” The Radio Demon teased, focusing on keeping his patient's poor, abused nose in his reality. He pointed his cane, lightly scratching along the rims of the nostrils as he spoke. “Poor, poor Lucifer Morningstar. Despite your constant objections, you’ve served Hell for so long. Haven’t you ever wondered what it’s like to bow to someone else’s power? Especially to such a lowly sinner like me?”

Ahhh— Alasto–or!

“So tell me, oh great and benevolent fallen saint, why should I stop now? It seems quite like a fair trade to me! I get to boss around one of the most powerful beings in existence, creator of light and the illumination of free will. And you, my dear, get to take a sick day.” And with that, he poked the very end of the tip. “Effective immediately.”

“GEHH’AHTSHHHH’HUUE! ATSHHHH! HAT’KSHHHHUUE! H-HAH-AHHH–! ETCH’TCHHHH’FFF!” The bayou rocked with thrashing waves and unearthed roots. For a moment the sky flashed to dawn, then dusk, before resuming its starry night. Wind whipped through Alastor’s hair followed by a gust of debris and dirt. A few raspy, heavy breaths and the chaos slowed to a stop. He peeked open one eye, then another. Finding himself safe in the eye of the storm, cradled in a soft flurry of wings pressed to the seraphim’s chest. 

Mnnn…bless m’be. Lucifer bit back a heavy sigh before he could cause anymore damage, shaking aside his chains before scooping Alastor up. Small scarlet eyes met large, weepy ones– blindfolds making way for a sea of silver and gold. And yet Alastor swore he could see constellations underneath their elegant surface.

“Well, that wasn’t so hard now was it?”

Thadd was cruel. The other whined. He flicked a wrist between congested sniffles, lacing a cotton cloth into existence. Obdnogxiously true. But still. Fugk you.

“Have you ever known me to be kind?” The sinner tilted his head curiously, ignoring a noseblow that bent the few trunks that remained, branches laying bare at their feet. “Honestly, it’s like you’re afraid of hurting–”

Every fibre in Lucifer’s existence tensed. In that moment, The Radio Demon was suddenly very aware of what the problem was from the beginning. And it was hilarious.

“Y-you! You–” He wheezed between a laughing fit, leaning on the base of a pointer for support, “You? You’re scared I’ll get hurt by you?! Hah! I’ve always taken you for a king, but a jester? Bravo, Sire! I haven't seen such a marvelous performance since the Iroquois Theatre Fire of 1903!” 

A gleam of moonlight brushed his vision. His giggling died down to find a crystal clear orb floating in the air. Another dancing around them. And another. All mingling with the night sky to reflect an aurora of colors. The eyes that had once remained hidden came into view, leaking droplets that never quite touched the earth.

And oh, Alastor realized. He’s crying. His ears wilted against his will, and adjusted himself accordingly to remedy the error. “I must admit, I never suspected an ancient being such as yourself was capable of fear.”

Of course I’m afraid! Lucifer curled into a tight ball, clouds slicing into ribbons as he brought all wings in on himself. Leaving Alastor stunned and alone, perched outside on a slightly shaky arm. Do you know how hard it was to show you this disgusting side of myself?

“Lucifer.” Alastor scolded back at the self-loathing a little too kindly for his liking.

Oh, don’t you Lucifer me! Sinners don't exactly like being reminded of Heaven. Especially the design of God's right hand. I must be a nightmare to you!

“And?”

A wing cracked open, thousands of surprised gazes peering back. Pardon?

“How does that apply to us?” Alastor arched an eyebrow. The fallen angel blinked, pearly tears unsticking from his crystalline lashes. A flustered heat rose to the wavering spots on his cheeks.

Alastor, I am literally Hell’s version of an atomic bomb.

“Mhm.”

I could kill you if I looked too hard. You could turn to ashes.

“Sounds exciting.”

Alastor!

“What was it you said just a second ago? ‘Don’t you Alastor me’? Honestly! I find it insulting that you would even question my strength, nor allow me the benefit of the doubt. Everything I’ve done up to this point, and further still, is by my design. If you ever hurt me, rest assured that I already knew the risks a thousand times over. Besides, recovering alone is incredibly unproductive. Take it from…my own personal experience.” Sharp claws tapped against the middle of his cane, “And besides, what would dear Charlie say if she saw you in such a state? Alone and helpless, losing control of his body? Poor thing would be worried out of her mind.”

…And you? Lucifer asked hopefully, the barrier between them cracking open a little more. Just a little more.

Alastor rocked on the back of his heels, bracing himself. “I suppose so.”

Finally the curtain parted, and Lucifer raised his hand to greet the other, leaning close with a soft, ethereal smile. Thank you I really–...r-really…

The telltale sign of a twitching nose. A hand rose to his face like clockwork. His caretaker opened his mouth to protest. But before he could, it moved instead to cup Alastor in a tight-knit shelter.

“HEH’ISHHHHUHHH! ISHHH’HUUUE! HH-HGHH-HUT’TTCHUUUE! ”

His wings snapped open at the force of every outburst, tree roots ripped from their homes and marigolds snapped at the stems. A billowing fog that spilled out turned from fire to dust and back, reshaping itself again and again until it settled on a light rain, creating puddles on the ground. And when twilight finally crept back into Alastor’s vision, Lucifer was sniffling thickly– unrestrained. Relaxed. Devoid of any concern or self-pity.

Briefly, Alastor wondered if this is how it felt to fly.

I cadd’t use your bladket, right? Do– “Snrfff!” Ugh, do we have more? He smiled sheepishly, holding up the sad pile of ash that once resembled a tissue.

“Pauvre ti bête! That sounded awful. I’ll see what I can do for your fever and nose.” Alastor hummed, signaling a small lift to press a kiss to his cheek. “And thank you for trusting me.”

[lunerabo]

no but like could u do a oneshot or something about the reader cussing someone out in spanish (im guessing u speak spanish since ur mexican) n who ever u want getting horny...? idk i had friend tell we it was hot when i spoke on the phone with my sister in spanish n that made me feel... happy ;)

I am absolutely a no sabo kid but WE’RE WORKING ON IT and luckily for you I know enough to answer fairly confidently (though that’s mainly taking from shit my mother has said to me soooo.)

Gone are the days where you can poke fun at him, where you’d cackle like a hyena on the phone with a friend about how you can say anything you want and your boyfriend can’t understand you. Satoru’s a smart man. Even if he hadn’t asked to learn your tongue at all, he would’ve picked up on some things.

You’d be proud of him for learning, if he didn’t immediately abuse what little power he’s gained. Insulting your salsa—“no es tan picoso,” he claims, even as his eyes water—and oh, you’ll show him picoso alright.

What he does notice, however, is the interesting habit of yours to switch languages whenever you’re annoyed in the hopes that he’ll stop attempting communication. This is a barrier he’s at last breached, replying in English or in Japanese whenever you spit a petty insult at him. And to say you aren’t pleased about that is an understatement.

“No entiendes la palabra que no? I really would, pero I’m so busy right now, you don’t even know.”

He may not know every word in the question, but he knows enough to understand it.

“But we can eat later! I’m hungry for something else right now, you can understand that.”

“Satoru, keep this up and you’re making your own food tonight.”

“Come on, you know as much as I do you don’t want to be stuck cooking, not while I’m right here, just begging for you to-“

“No. Quiero comida.” A pause, before you mutter to yourself, “y te ves como un palo.”

He gasps, dramatically slapping a hand to his chest.

“Excuse me?! How? You are all over these muscles in bed, need I remind you, I’m the furthest thing from-“

“It’s the outfit. Doesn’t do you any favors, makes you look skinny.”

“Then take it off me.”

Your lips press into a line, eyes shut and brow furrowed in annoyance, as you turn to face him.

“Y sigues con los pendejadas.”

His hands are, unsurprisingly, already on your ass, his boner pressed hard up against your waist.

“C’mon,” he whispers, and you allow him only a kiss, before whipping your head around to face the source of the slightly burnt smell.

“Satoru! You- ugh, por el amor de dios-“

He’s got a split second notice before he sees you reach downward for a weapon he’s become far too well acquainted with in the time he’s been with you, and he bolts out of the kitchen with a desperation only ever seen on rabbits running from foxes.

“Hijo de puta motherfucker, I’ll gonna wring your little neck como un pollo! Usaré tus seis ojos como joyas!”

Your aim is true, your slipper firm, and your boyfriend likely concussed.

[violetmuses]

No Church In The Wild -  A. Aretas 🔥🖤🩸

Title: No Church In The Wild -  A. Aretas 🔥🖤🩸

Fandom: “Bad Boys” Film Universe 

Character: Armando Aretas

Pairing: Armando Aretas + Female Reader

Main Storyline: If loyalty is a sin, watch us burn hand in hand.

@nelo0wesker @onlyrealjoy @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @spaceacelover @yassbishimvintage

=====

2016 - Flashback 

Armando Aretas would join his first party of the year. Summertime finally heated through Miami, Florida when others planned this big night. 

Twenty-one at last, Armando watches as his friend Lorenzo Rodriguez stands at the kitchen counter and pours two hefty shots this evening.  

“Fireball. Cheers.” Clinking the glasses, Armando and Zway took their very first chances with alcohol. 

“Shit!” Armando coughed once this liquid ran down. “Get something else. That was bad.”

“All right, I tried.” Laughing, Zway poured himself another Fireball shot and lined up this new drink for Armando, easing the taste instead. 

“That's better.” Armando chilled out, glancing around this space while others finally reached the kitchen. 

Nursing the new drink this time, Armando turned around and noticed you. 

You're so pretty. His heart skips as you greet other people and request your own drink from Zway. 

“Hey.” Aretas proved cordial and introduced himself. “I'm Armando.”

“Hi.” You then greeted Armando with your own smile. “You know Zway?”

“High School.” Armando nodded toward his friend while holding the glass.

“Nice.” You smiled back. 

Just as Armando would continue speaking with you, his phone buzzed in one pocket. 

“Fuck, sorry! I gotta take  this.” Dumping his beverage in the kitchen sink, Armando excused himself from you. 

“Oh no. It's fine, go ahead.” You stepped back without hesitation. 

Armando brought Zway outside, picking up that call right away. 

_____

Law enforcement called. Armando's mother Isabel Aretas had just escaped from prison in Mexico. 

“Stop the party. I gotta go!” Armando grits his teeth and points toward Zway's house. 

Without thinking twice, Zway sprints toward the opposite direction and ends this party for good, claiming that his own family would show up. 

You scrambled with everyone else to leave this house. All around, people would call rides or nearly start running out to avoid more drama

_____

By the end of chaos, Zway locked that front door behind him and immediately called Armando back. 

“C'mon. Pick up!” Zway paced back and forth, terrified when this phone kept ringing. “¡Dios mío!” 

“Zway, Zway!’ Aretas finally responded, but his voice called through panicked screams. 

“I'm here! Where are you?” Zway tried to learn details. 

“Get out of there right now.” Armando's accented English rushed on that other line. “She's planted a bomb under the sink!”

“What the fuck, how many minutes?!” Zway yelled. 

“Cops said you have five minutes left, go!” Before Zway could ask  further questions, Armando hung up once more. 

Shit! Zway thought. 

Right as Zway left this house and sprinted down his street, the bomb exploded! 

======

2020

Zway survived the explosion, but now, Isabel Aretas lurked elsewhere and still carried dark magic that would haunt everyone beyond words. 

Dangerous corners of South Beach grounded power once Armando Aretas stood tall again. 

Given the carnage of tragedy, Armando stopped trusting law enforcement altogether and took matters into his own hands from now on. 

Now stone, ruthless, and feared, Armando vowed would never look back. 

And yet, other feelings somehow lingered. 

Armando found you once more and honestly explained what happened, giving the truth. 

Instead of drifting away, you've stood right here and remained loyal beside him. 

Tonight, hidden cash veiled near the Miami Harbor. 

“Where are you going?” You whispered to Armando, woken up by mistake. 

“Out. I'll be right back.” He smiled between kisses to say goodbye.

“I know you're armed, but take my knife.” Your three words stop this moment. 

“Kay…” Even Armando's lovely brown eyes darkened once this man sleeved one of your Karambits. 

“Come back to me. Promise?” You held his face regardless.  

“Always.” Armando nodded toward you and dialed Zway's number, departing moments later. 

*****

On your birthday, you woke up alone, but  Armando offered text messages: 

Lo siento, mami. 😭

 I found the money, but this deal crashed. 💸 

I'll be there tonight. For real. 🥺

Still missing you. 😔

Though pissed off, you waited for Armando and couldn't ruin your special occasion. 

_____

While getting ready with this crew, your phone buzzed twice: 

Armando: Outside, Gorgeous. I'm sorry. 😭🖤

“Time to go.” You signaled the update near everyone, leaving. 

____

This black convertible pulled up downtown, yet the main roof veiled Armando's identity. 

“Happy birthday.” His kisses left more and more apologies. 

“Thank you.” Your mind clouded through forgiveness and everyone hadn't partied yet. 

_____

“One more time?” Zway offered Fireball shots again.

“Hell no!” Armando scrunched up his face, cornered in one section with you as drinks flowed. Guests cracked up. 

“Oh, well. More for me, then. Happy birthday to the Queen.” Zway lifts his beverage and acknowledges you. 

Glasses clinked and Armando only smiled for you this evening. 

“We never dance. Can you move?” You finished your drink and safely walked with Aretas. 

“Don't ask. You already know the answer.” He flirts and turns you around to meet his clothed front. 

Music dropped and for once, Armando just focused on you, letting rhythms sway the night.

Though planning to leave hours later, you  quietly signaled an interruption. 

“What?” Armando hushed near you with weapons on standby. 

“Cops…” You pointed toward another section of the nightclub. 

“Move out of dodge.” Armando knew better and Zway shut down another celebration. 

******

Last night, Miami detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett killed Zway, putting so much in jeopardy. 

“They got too close. I can't risk anything else right now.” Armando packed his weapons, ready for war. 

“Bloodbath.” You didn't even question him and prepared your own defenses. 

The Miami Police Department would face an absolute storm. 

_____

Captain Conrad Howard died first, in charge when locking up Armando's late father Benito.  

And with each passing bullet, you counted every funeral. 

But when Detective Mike Lowrey stood as this final target, Isabel Aretas emerged from the shadows that night. 

“Matarlos a los dos.” Isabel pulled venom as this  estate in Mexico burned all around.

Right as Armando would kill Lowrey and Burnett here, Isabel shot you in the chest. 

“No!” Immediately, Armando dives near rubble to catch your falling body, but you slip, almost dropping toward the flames. 

“Let me go, it's time. Let me go.” You tried to keep looking at him, but his glance pleaded.

“No, cariño. Te tengo. Espera.” Armando tightened his hold near you, but Mike and Marcus started yelling. 

The mansion is still falling apart, triggered by this destroyed helicopter. 

“Pull her up!” Mike chanted over and over again, wanting to help alongside Marcus. 

Your body escaped fire, yet the gunshots remained, dimming lights from within.

“Somebody fucking shoot her, I don't have my vest!” You rasped and squirmed through the pain, fuming over Isabel. 

You can't even grab Armando's pistol for revenge, closing both eyes. 

=====

2024

With Isabel Aretas dead, Armando found himself rotting in prison for his own crimes. 

But Armando has thought of you since facing lockup. 

“She's alive, man.” After noting decades of confusion, Detective Mike Lowrey stood as Armando's biological father. 

“Where is she?” Armando wanted to confirm everything after losing you again. 

“Outside. See you soon.” Mike walked away, leaving Armando with good news. 

Behind bars, Armando Aretas smiled. 

Human beings in a mob. 

What's a mob to a king?

What's a king to a God?

What's a God to a non-believer…

Who don't believe in anything?

Will he make it out alive?

Alright, alright. 

No church in the wild…

[ladykailitha]

Oh For a Muse of Fire! Part 11

Not much happens here, but we have a little side drama with Nancy and Eddie willing to jump in for Steve’s sake.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9 Part 10 

*

Steve parted with Eddie at the walkway between their two buildings and slowly made his way back to the apartment. He opened the door to see Robin on their couch with a tub of ice cream and a spoon.

“You okay?” he asked. “You dipping into the ice cream reserves?”

She shook her head. “Just wanted a little bit of cookies and cream today.”

Steve hung up his jacket and flopped down next to her. “How are your parents?”

Robin smiled around the spoon in her mouth. “Good.” She pulled the spoon out. “They missed you though.”

Steve smiled back at her. “I missed them too. Eddie impressed Dustin.”

Robin’s eyes went wide. “Someone impressed the genius child? Say it isn’t so!”

Steve laughed and told her all about the un-date.

“He’s got it so bad for you, dingus,” she said. “It’s almost embarrassing.”

Steve blushed and ducked his head. “It’s not like that, Robs. I promise.” He looked up. “I mean, yeah, he fixed my car, impressed the unflappable Dustin Henderson, and lent me his jacket, all that says is that he’s a good person.”

Robin batted her eyelashes at him. “Sure we could discount all that as just being a good dude. Fine. Whatever. But how did he dress for tonight?”

Steve’s blush spread from his cheeks to his ears, and down his neck. “He looked hot, Robs. Like full on sex god. I was weak in the knees for Christ’s sake.”

Robin giggled. “Sounds like you went on a date to me.”

Steve’s jaw dropped. “But we didn’t call it date.”

She shook her head. “Doesn’t mean you weren’t on one, my dear dingus.” He looked at her skeptically. “Look, I’ll tell you what. If at the concert on Saturday there isn’t a new song about you, you can go back to calling it whatever you want. But if there is a new song about you, not necessarily a love song. Not yet. But a song about how he’s changed his opinion about you. You are going to call dinner tonight a date.”  

Steve thought about it for a moment and then nodded. “You’re on.” He stuck out his hand and they shook on it.

Robin smiled like she had already won.

*

Saturday arrived and Robin was still as smug as ever, having to have bore witness to Eddie and Steve constantly texting each other and their little coffee breaks after class.

Steve just rolled his eyes. They weren’t even friends yet and Robin was already planning their wedding. It would be here, of course at the Queen’s Crown. Steve would be in white and Eddie would be in black.

She had even picked out the flowers when Steve smacked her with his dish towel.

Opal laughed as they chased each other around the bar. They were about to open and start letting in the pre-concert crowd. The regulars that just came for a cocktail and a good time. Most of those would be gone before the band started setting up at six.

It was Steve’s favorite time on Saturdays. It was calm and fun. And he didn’t have to fob off numbers and flirtatious drunks, like he had to once the band started playing. He didn’t have time to date. Not really.

Eddie and his band showed up and started setting up.

It took everything Steve had to not stare. Eddie was dressed in a sheer long sleeved black shirt with three rips across the chest like an animal had clawed it. He had on tight leather pants and heavy combat boots. And over the shirt to complete the look was a denim vest with pins and patches all over the front and a cutup old Dio band shirt on the back.

Steve didn’t know who Eddie was trying to impress, but he secretly hoped it was him.

About half way through the set, Eddie pulled out a stool and his acoustic guitar. He adjusted the microphone and said, “You’ll excuse this minor indulgence. But I wanted to play you this song. It’s called Thorns and Thistles.”

He cleared his throat and began to play.

“Holy shit,” Opal cursed. “I’ve never heard this song before. I thought I’d heard all of their original material.”

Robin came bouncing up to Steve with a feral grin. “I told you.”

Opal looked back and forth between them in confusion and then she went, “Oh.”

She turned to Robin. “I think my boy is crushing on your boy.”

Robin laughed manically. “That’s okay, my boy has been crushing on your boy for years.” She danced away from Steve’s dish rag as he cracked it at her.

Steve listened to the rest of the song in silence as everyone in the bar was entranced by the crooning vocals, the heartfelt lyrics, and the soulful guitar. Once Eddie was done, the entire bar was in an uproar.

Eddie blushed and said, “Thank you. We now return to our regularly scheduled metal concert.”

The audience laughed as Eddie put away the stool and traded his acoustic for his sweetheart.

He stepped back on the stage and crowd howled as he setup the opening licks for the next song.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a crowd get this pumped up before in all my years of working here,” Steve told Opal.

Opal grinned. “Yeah, Eddie’s good at putting on a show. But that song? Thorns and Thistles? That was pure electricity. Everyone in the club felt it.”

Steve nodded. It was pure Eddie.

*

It took every ounce of courage Eddie had to look at Steve when he started playing Thorns and Thistles.

The look of awe and admiration on the other man’s face is what helped Eddie get through the song without sobbing horrifically.

He was riding the high of a job well done when he spotted her in the crowd. Thankfully at that same moment Chrissy sailed past him on her way to the bathroom.

“Chrissy!” he hissed, crouching down on the stage near the edge.

She turned to snap at him for calling out her real name but he stopped her with, “Code pink!” Code pink was their phrase for when they ran into someone they wanted to avoid. Usually exes or her parents.

Her mouth snapped shut and she skidded to a stop. “Shit! Who? Where?”

“Garnet’s ex. Her name is Nancy,” he rushed to explain.

Her eyes went to Steve who was chatting with a patron. “What does she look like?” she asked turning back to Eddie.

He let out a hysterical laugh. “A shorter, female version of me in a black pencil skirt and a pink blouse.”

Chrissy nodded. She spotted the girl in question and yeah, that tracked. She pointed her out to Eddie. “You stall her, I’ll get Steve out!” And turned on her heel, running back to the bar.

Eddie nodded.

“Garnet!” she hissed. “Code Pink!”

Steve frowned at her in confusion. “A what?”

Chrissy rolled her eyes. “Your ex is here!” she explained. “We need to get you out back.”

Steve nodded and let her throw a towel over his head to lead him to the kitchen.

Robin, who had been on her way back to the kitchen with dirty glasses spotted what was going on and immediately sped up. “What the hell is going on?” she hissed.

Steve pulled the towel off his head. “Nancy’s here,” he explained.

Diamond knew it was inevitable that they would have friends and family come to the bar, but only if they understood they had to call the employees their gem names. Or at least keep the mistakes to a minimum.

But he also knew that there were times that were out of everyone’s control. Times were an ex or distant (or not so distant) family members that might stumble on the bar by accident. In cases like that it wasn’t about protecting the vibe of the bar.

It was about protecting his people. Protecting them from those who would want to harm them. Especially in Garnet’s case. He knew that there were going to be people who recognized him from the news. But here he could honestly say that he wasn’t Steve. He was Garnet and any resemblance was coincidental.

So when he saw Garnet, Pearl, and Opal make for the backroom, he knew it was one of those times.

He immediately was out there to take over bar-tending. He nodded to Topaz, who nodded to Onyx. The two of them started making their way to the bar.

Opal came out as they reached Diamond. “Garnet’s ex-girlfriend is here.”

“Shit!” Topaz snarled. “Sorry, boss. That’s on me. We’ve been dating awhile and I told her Peridot had called in sick and I had to come in...on our anniversary.”

Diamond closed his eyes. “See if you can head her off, Topaz.” He turned to his bouncer. “Follow close behind, I have a bad feeling about her being here tonight.”

Both men nodded and blended into the crowd.

“The next round is on me!” Diamond called out to the patrons. And a cheer went up.

Topaz made it to Nancy and saw that she was chatting with Eddie.

“I didn’t make you for a metal fan,” he was saying.

Nancy rolled her eyes. “I’m not. I’m trying to find my boyfriend.” She tried to get around him.

“Maybe I could help you find him,” Eddie suggested, deftly sidestepping back into her way. “I’m taller. I could spot him better.”

Nancy scoffed. “Lose it, Munson. I’m not in the mood.”

Topaz rushed to her side. “Hey, babe. What brings you to the club tonight? I told you I was working.” He reached out to kiss her the top of her head, but she stepped back.

“I just wanted to see where you worked,” Nancy said. “I wanted to see the new bartender you’ve been banging on about.”

Topaz and Eddie exchanged wide-eyed looks.

“Nance,” he murmured. “I’ve told you. There is nothing between us. She’s gay.”

“Maybe I just wanted to see for myself,” she defended.

Suddenly there was a shadow that loomed over her and said with a thick Russian accent, “No harassment of the employees is allowed.”

Nancy’s spin straightened and she gulped. She turned around slowly to face the man known only as Onyx. The one that didn’t like anyone.

“Oh, hey,” she squeaked. “I wouldn’t. I wasn’t going to. Friend of my boyfriend and all that.” She smiled wanly.

“Come back on a less busy night,” Onyx said, deadpan. “Come on Monday. That would be better.”

Topaz went to kiss the top of her head and this time she let him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I got so jealous, I couldn’t see straight.”

Topaz hugged her close. “Go home, we’ll talk when I get off.”

Onyx walked her to the door, she turned back and smiled at wanly at Topaz as if in apology.

*

Diamond came back to the back room and gathered all his people.

“What the fuck happened tonight?” he growled. The four of them looked at the ground. “I’m not blaming you. Shit. But she came in like a hell cat bent on destruction.”

Topaz coughed. “Now that things are picking up here at the bar and I’ve been busier, I think she thought I was cheating on her.”

Opal laughed. “Dude all your female co-workers are hella gay.”

Topaz blushed. “I don’t think she was worried about Opal, despite what she said.”

All heads whipped around to stare at him in shock.

“Does she think you’re bi or something?” Pearl asked.

Steve coughed and looked away. “I think she’s worried that since her first boyfriend turned out to be gay...”

Diamond sighed heavily pushing the palms of his hands into his eyes. “Her current boyfriend might be too?”

Steve nodded, biting his lip.

Opal laughed again. “No, no, I know it’s not funny, per se, but god what a trip. Why would she think you have a crush on Garnet?”

Topaz looked down at his feet sheepishly. “I deliberately don’t talk about him because I worry I’ll let it slip it’s St–I mean Garnet.”

Pearl boggled at him. “So her mind went to you having a crush instead of disliking the guy or even being ambivalent toward him?”

“Take her out to a nice dinner tomorrow,” Diamond suggested. “Wine and dine her. But if she comes in again, guns blazing, I will ban her. Am I understood?”

Topaz nodded.

“Take her to Mama Cleo’s,” Steve suggested. “Henderson’s place. It’s great place for a date.” He winked at Pearl who laughed delightedly.

“Damn straight,” she agreed.

Topaz nodded.

Part 12 Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Epilogue

Tag List: @artiststarme @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @itsall-taken @m-owo-n @zerokrox-blog @runyousillydetective @grimmfitzz @wonderland-girl143-blog @sapphirecobalt-1 @scheodingers-muppet @victor-thee-corvid @apricottree @bookbinderbitch @sleepyboosstuff @biatcgh @pixiefallingupthestairs @grtwdsmwhr @thepainisspicy @carlyv @eboyawstenn @bisexualdisastersworld @bidisastersworld @abstractnaturaldisaster @evix-syne666 @nerdsconquerall @lololol-1234 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @a-little-unsteddie @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @elluminis @tailsfromthecrypt @danili666 @plyerice27 @alittlegreyfish  @n0-1-important @no-upper-limit-to-stupidity @maya-custodios-dionach @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @heaven428 @thedragonsaunt @ceaselessly-watching

[bellysoupset]

Self Indulgent Bella blurb

I know I'm supposed to be writing Part 3 of the other fic (I AM!!), but this wouldn't leave my mind so....

----------------------------------

"Dios mio," Bella groaned, leaning back as far as the car seat allowed and planting a hand to her bloated tummy, "I'm so stuffed."

Luke, driving and looking ahead, let out a chuckle and stole a glance, "you got a little food baby," he teased her lightly, planting a hand on her thigh.

Bella opened a lazy smile, feeling more than a little drowsy from the amount of food she had eaten during the small convention, "a little food baby? You're being too nice," she grabbed his hand resting on her thigh and planted it on her tummy, "I'm ready-to-pop preggo."

Luke rolled his eyes, squishing her belly a little and stroking it over the fabric of her shirt, "I think its cute."

"Freaky," his wife deadpanned, smiling smugly at him and scooting on the seat so she could rest her head on his shoulder. Lucas didn't bother answering the tease, pulling back his hand to plant it on the steering wheel and turning his face slightly so he could press a kiss on top of her head.

They were in silence for the next ten minutes and had just entered their neighborhood when Bella suddenly sat up, her stomach letting out a loud gurgle and causing her to cup her mouth with both her hands-

"Shit, just let me pull over!" Luke squeaked nervously, not waiting for an answer and already signaling that he was about to park the car.

Bell shook her head no, squeezing her eyes shut... And then she burped, loudly. It was muffled by her hands, but once the first burp was out she removed the hand in order to press on her upset tummy, digging her fingers in and forcing up a string of burps, all of them just as loud and wet.

Luke raised his eyebrows as the car slowly came to a stop, "damn-"

Bella's face was almost as red as her hair, as she looked at him with a sheepish smile, "excuse me...?"

Luke snorted, "you're excused, piggy... Does your tummy feel better?"

"Tons," Bell sighed, running a hand over her domed, puffy belly and patting it in an affectionate manner, "suuch a fussy baby- Oh you're blushing!" her tone changed to delighted as Luke's whole face turned pink at her language, "Lucas!"

"Shut up," he grumbled, starting the car back up and looking away from her, while Bella continued to laugh at him. She leaned back, grinning like mad.

"I didn't know this got to you, Luke-"

"I said shut up, Bell," he said in a strained voice, cheeks a flame and Bella's smirk only grew even wider at the response, only for a yawn to sneak up on her.

"Oka-ay," she yawned against her fist, "I will make sure to only use this information for evil."

Luke let out a groan at that, but he didn't move at all as she leaned on his shoulder and closed her eyes, being pulled down on a sleep coma.