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lonophobic · 2 years

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“sorry, i’m a bit tired.”

diluc x male reader

tw: major character deaths (yes, deathS), diluc’s backstory spoilers, blood, fighting, crying, self hate, heavy angst, mentions of drinking, and a bunch of pretty messed up stuff i don’t think i missed anything but if i did pls let me know

genre: angst

a/n: i love diluc so much i want to make him suffer

song:

—

“sorry! i’m a bit tired.”

y/n called out. the young boy was trying to catch up to a young diluc, who seemed so full of energy and excitement.

“c’mon! there’s so much things i want to do with you!”

you laughed, running to walk next to your close friend. mr. crepus said he would be back soon, but it had already been an hour and the two of you were bored out of your minds. you were walking to mondstat city together, walking on the bridge leading to the entrance. the two of you awed at the tall buildings and the even taller windmills. everything seemed so lively. it was amazing, just how many things were there to entertain the duo. together, you laughed, made jokes, bought candy with money diluc found in his father’s drawer, and now you were sitting on a bench, legs hanging down the edge of the seat but not quite touching the floor. you were finishing up your bag of candy before throwing it away in a bin. you stared at the sun, which was starting to set. you sighed.

“maybe we should start heading back? i think your dad is back by now.”

you heard diluc grumble.

“already? time really goes by quickly.”

you laughed.

“maybe ‘cuz you’re having fun with me?”

diluc smiled.

“yea, i did have fun with you. we should head back now.”

diluc hopped off the bench, you copying his movements.

you headed back to the ragnvinder house, laughing and walking with diluc, hand-in-hand.

“sorry! i’m a bit tired.”

“y’know, you kinda say that a lot.”

“shush. i am.”

you were talking to diluc in the tavern, celebrating his birthday. you had yawned a few seconds ago, but it really didn’t matter to you at the moment. a blonde man, who was obviously a bit tipsy, came up from behind you making you flinch a bit.

“CONGRATS, MASTER DILUC!! YOU’RE AN ADULT NOW!!!”

this made a few heads turn, but everyone got back to their own drinks in a split second.

“COME ON, HAVE A DRINK!”

he thrust forward his own drink a bit, as if gesturing to diluc he should take a sip.

“thanks, but…”

he gave a quick glance to you, who already knew diluc was going to refuse.

“i’ll pass this time.”

you let out a soft chuckle. you looked around for anyone you recognized, even kaeya would suffice. however, you couldn’t exactly name everyone in the tavern at the moment.

“RIGHT! I FORGOT YOU WERE STILL ON DUTY!”

several laughs were shared around the man, diluc huffing out a small laugh himself. you felt a presence behind you, and you turned to see mr. crepus behind the crowd surrounding the bar. he came up the the loud, blonde man, and gave him. soft smack to the shoulder with his left hand

“hahaha! don’t worry! feel free to stop by our winery anytime and we’ll drink together to your heart’s content!”

“HOW GENEROUS OF YOU, MR. CREPUS!”

he wasn’t wrong. mr. crepus treated you as his own son, and even took you in when your parents eventually tried to get rid of you. you couldn’t pay him back in any way. he turned to you and diluc..

“let’s get going, diluc, y/n. we should head back home before it starts raining, don’t you think?”

“yes, father.”

diluc said, inching between the crowd to get outside while mr. crepus told everyone the tavern is now closed.

diluc and his father were having a conversation about the knights of favonius, while you stared at the ground. diluc was guiding the horses, and crepus was peeking his head out to talk to his son. you knew they would know if something went wrong, but something didn’t feel right. it felt like someone, something, was watching. you went back to the conversation when you heard a wooden box open.

“well…”

there was a pause.

“diluc… i’m so proud of you, my son.”

you stared the contents of the box. it had a glove, and an.. orb? attached to the top. at first glance, you would have assumed it might have been a vision, but.. it didn’t seem like one. it didn’t glow with the power of the archons, as doluc’s did. in fact, it almost seemed like the opposite. crepus then turned to you.

“and… y/n. thank you, for all of the good deeds you have blessed mondstat with. i’m glad i was able to be there for you.”

he said this in a much, much quieter tone. it made you concerned. what’s going on? why is he saying this all of a sudden? you felt the waggon stop, and the neighing on horses when you whipped around to speed outside. you were met face-to-face with a dragon. its glowing yellow eyes made you feel paralyzed. now really wasn’t the time to freeze, but your instinct told you to run, while your heart told you to stay and help the two red-haired men. your brain, overloaded, couldn’t do anything. diluc was clearly struggling, and him missing a weapon definitely didn’t help. crepus sprinted in front of you to help diluc, the glove that was in the box now equipped on his hand. your eyes widened and you leaped forward, trying to stop him from using it. it was a delusion, and while it gifts the user with incredible power, it also depletes the user’s life source by indescribable amounts.

you shouted, tried to grab him, yelled his name, but he continued to use the delusion. when the dragon lunged towards an injured diluc, breaking off the chains made by crepus’s delusion, you were the one supposed to save dilic. not crepus. it was never supposed to be crepus. there was hundreds, thousands of ways you could have saved diluc and crepus, but you failed every last one of them. now, you were standing next to a lifeless crepus, too shocked by how everything went by so fast you didn’t feel the tears flowing from your eyes. diluc was kneeling next to you, hands gently covering his wound, as if trying to heal them, to make him come back to life. you could barely hear kaeya’s shouts. the rain made your hair and clothes wet. you just stared. it was a pathetic sight. you probably didn’t notice you had wounds from the dragon, too. the only thing you could think about was how you wished to go back in time, just one minute, just to save crepus. the one you considered your own father. you didn’t notice kaeya behind you. you didn’t notice the yelling from other knights behind you. you didn’t even notice diluc stood up and started sobbing into your shoulder. you didn’t think of anything, the only thought that played over and over, like a broken record, in your mind was-

“i killed crepus.”

there were sightings of suspicious abyss mages at stormbearer point. you offered to take a look, considering the knights were busy at the moment. there were more monsters than you had expected, there being 3 abyss mages and a handful of hillichurls and a few mitachurls. and when a ruin guard showed up, you decided that it was probably a trap and you should run. you did. you really tried. but two ruin hunters showed up- you never even tried to take on more than one at once. there was no one nearby. there was no way of escaping.

you were exhausted. you knew you would have to take a break soon, as sweat covered your forehead and body. you were also mentally drained, too. it felt like your vision was tired from being used so much. the last ruin hunter was about to die, you could tell. by the way it clicked every time it moved, and the scratches, and the occasional pin popping out, there was no way it would last much longer either. when it suddenly disappeared, you panicked. you looked all around you, preparing your weapon. your vision was almost flashing. glowing, then glowing a bit less the next second, and repeat. it was almost like warning you to be careful. suddenly, you felt something pierce you from the back. you looked down to see one of the metal spikes of its arm, going right through your abdomen. you suddenly spurted blood from your mouth, covering your mouth quickly with the hand that wasn’t grasping your weapon. your vision flashed more violently as the spike left your body, and that seemed to deplete all of the ruin hunter’s energy too, as it fell to the ground and powered off. you collapsed to the ground in suit, feeling the blood trickle down your chin. you fell to your side, trying to keep the wound from getting worse, but you knew you were dead soon. the amount of blood you were loosing ensured it. you felt someone rush to your side, and your head being put on their lap. you creaked an eye open to see familiar red hair and eyes from above you. you let out a weak chuckle.

“hey, ‘luc. sorry you have to see me like this.”

you covered your mouth right after your sentence, more blood coming up your throat.

“no. no, no, no, no, no, no, no. not you too. please. you’re the last person i have-“

the last sentence was cut short, diluc’s words catching in his throat as his tears started to flow down his face.

he brought your chest up to hug you, getting your blood and grime on his clothes. his tears were absorbed by the cloth on your shoulder as he cried into your shoulder.

“hey. ‘luc, i love you. take care of yourself for me, yea?”

“don’t say that. please. help is coming- even barbara is coming- just hang on. please. stay with me.”

he sobbed into your shirt, clinging onto it with his hands.

“c’mon, there’s so much things i want to do with you.”

you laughed weakly one last time.

“sorry. i’m a bit tired.”

—

words: 1683

liked it? no? good. now cry. /hj

spitting out as much fics i can before i start to become super busy next week

#diluc x male reader #dikuc x reader #diluc angst #diluc x male reader angst #diluc x reader angst #diluc #genshin impact x male reader #genshin x male reader #angst #genshin angst #Spotify

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ilythecolorpink · 1 year

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Secrets unfolding (Diluc Ragnvinder x fem reader)

With the moon gleaming on every house that you passed, it was a night unlike any other in Monstandt. As a result, you made the decision to see your dear friend Diluc Ragnvinder at the Dawn Winery as you had nothing else to do. You walk through the doors, and as you see Diluc trying to kick out Kaeya, you come out from behind them laughing at the scene that is unfolding right in front of your eyes. Diluc says to Kaeya “We have had this discussion many times before, Kaeya get out of my tavern.”

Kaeya then replies in a playful manner, "Oh Diluc, always so cold." As I tell Kaeya, "Aww poor baby, do you want me to give you a kiss before you leave?" Diluc glares annoyed at both Kaeya and I and says, "I don't have time for this, just go." As Keaya turns to walk away, he chuckles and says, "Yeah yeah, whatever, by the way, I like your little girlfriend Diluc." He chuckles as he exits the building. When Diluc makes eye contact with me and clears his throat, I turn my attention to him noticing the blush on his cheeks, and tease him, saying, "You know Diluc, you look cute when you're all flustered."

He turns away to cover his face and says, "I swear you and Kaeya are so troublesome." I then say, "Oh yeah?" while leaning against the bar. "You gonna punish me for it?” When he realizes how nervous he was, he turns around and asks, "What did you say again?" as I amusedly chuckle, I say, "Oh Diluc, you know I don't like repeating myself twice." I then say, "Relax, I'm just messing with you." You really do like messing with me, don't you? he asks. After that, I give him an affectionate grin and remark, "Oh but of course, it's always a dream to see your reactions." He gives me a small smile as he says, "Hmm, if only I could see yours as well."

As I turn to leave to let him do his task, I flush somewhat at his forwardness and add, "Hm, maybe when we are alone, I can show you all kinds of reactions, darling”. I closed the door and left him alone with his thoughts. Then, Diluc asks himself, "What am I going to do with her?" After some time, I'm instructed to look into the man known as The Darknight Hero; as a member of the Fatui, you were aware that this would be challenging but oh well. You dressed yourself in your outfit and mask to cover your identity as you walk behind a place to see the very man himself.

The moment you emerged from the shadows, you said, "My my, no one told me that you would be this handsome up close, it would be a shame if I have to ruin that pretty face of yours." He looks at me and says, "Well aren't you a sweet talker, unfortunately, your charms won't work on me," I remark with dissatisfaction "Aw, that's too bad, I really thought we had some chemistry."

Then, after picking up his claymore and ordering me to "Shut your mouth," I teasingly respond, "Make me pretty boy." After some time, he eventually cuts my mask as he presses me against the wall, clutching my throat. As the mask starts to fall, I mutter, "mm kinky, are we darling?" as I'm now breathing heavily with a blush creeping its way down my cheeks. He yells, "Y/N, is that you?" as he looks at me in complete shock.

He lets go of his grip on my neck and removes his mask. Then, with him still pressing up against me, I say, "Diluc? You are the Darknight Hero? Then, nodding slightly, he angrily declares, "You are a Fatui, and you never told me, tell me was our friendship all a lie?" I then turn to face him, a sad expression on my face, and say, "No, it never was, I would talk to you every night and day as me, not an enemy, a Fatui member, or anything like that, I spoke to you as a friend just because I'm a part of the Fatui doesn't define the person I am."

I gently push him away as I speak, but as soon as I do, I feel him grab my wrist as he roughly presses his lips against mine in such intense need. I draw him in by the collar and let him kiss me while moaning into the kiss. Then he steps back and says, "About punishing you earlier, I might actually have to do it. Tell me, sweetheart, do you think you can handle me?"

A/N: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT. I TRULY APPRECIATE IT. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #diluc x you #fanfic #x reader #x female y/n #x female reader #x fem!reader #genshin diluc #diluc x fem!reader #x y/n #enemies to lovers #kaeya

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pochipop · 2 years

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＃ GENSHIN IMPACT !! ♡ — THE CURIOUS CASE OF DILUC RAGNVINDR (DILUC X DETECTIVE!READER).

#. synopsis! — just after arriving in mondstadt, a novice level private investigator receives a lengthy commission from none other than kaeya alberich, acting cavalry captain for the knights of favonius. the excitement wears thin, however, when the instructions are to go undercover as a housemaid and work under the formidable wine tycoon, diluc ragnvindr himself. tasked with keeping tabs on the man who seems to be quite a polarizing figure, the lines between employer and employee begin to blur as bleeding hearts come undone and walls all but crumble apart at the seams .

#. characters! —diluc .

#. warnings! — slight angst , non-graphic depictions of wounds , mentions of alcohol .

#. word count! — 7.2k .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

When you readily accepted a commission from Kaeya, Cavalry Captain for the Knights of Favonius who has quite the credibility according to most people of Mondstadt, this really isn’t what you had in mind. For starters, you expected it to be much less of a personal matter, —maybe something pertaining to his own position, investigating suspicious outlanders or tracking a particular person to bring them in for questioning. Definitely not working under his estranged elder brother Diluc Ragnvindr as a housemaid, simply watching out for the red-haired male to let his sibling know that he’s fairing okay. It’s safe to say going “undercover” at Dawn Winery was the last thing you thought would happen, but here you are, bringing Diluc yet another set of order forms (the one on top requesting an egregious amount of dandelion wine.)

Although housekeeping is far from your area of expertise, you’ve fared quite well thus far. Diluc hasn’t had any complaints about your efficiency or abilities, and your fellow co-workers have been nothing but full of praise for you since the moment you stepped in through the door. Of course, a part of you wonders if they’re only laying it on so thick because they’d like to keep the extra hands around, but for what it’s worth, their kind words likely would have been incredibly uplifting in any other circumstance. Yours is quite different, though. . .

As a private investigator, albeit a novice one who recently traveled to Mondstadt in hopes of making a name for yourself across Teyvat, the work of maids isn’t really your forte. Obviously you respect the profession and those who choose it for themselves, but your path has not prepared you for anything of the sort: and it’s a lot more work than one might expect. Cooking, cleaning, organizing, sorting through letters and documents, running about to put things in their proper places, greeting visitors who come to tour the winery, —and that’s all within a single day.

“Who needs this much wine?” You question, muttering under your breath as you shuffle through the order forms on your way to Diluc’s personal office.

He may or may not be inside, —it’s usually hard to tell. His schedule is often hectic and difficult to get a grasp on, leaving you feeling a bit guilty at the end of the day when you finally catch him and have to place a stack of papers in his hands. Though it’s not your fault, you feel guilty for adding to his obviously abundant workload. Diluc never shows any sign of blame, however. He accepts the documents from you with quick thanks and sets off again (assumedly to make his way through them before he can finally head to sleep at night.)

Thing is, Diluc doesn’t always do that, either. . .

Sometimes, you see him slinking away from the manor in the dead of night, moving quickly through the darkness. He’s cautious and observant, taking in his surroundings and being sure to avoid the eyesight of onlookers. Except you, of course, but that’s hardly any fault of his own. As far as Diluc knows, you’re just a traveler looking for work in Mondstadt that happened to be recommended for a job at the winery. He has no inherent reason to be suspicious of you, especially when you complete your assigned tasks in such timely manners.

Little does he know, you've been keeping tabs on him at the request of his brother. Every seven days, you're to sneak away from the manor and speak with Kaeya in secret, —just to assure him that Diluc is doing okay, that he isn't running himself into the ground and completely forgoing his personal needs and health.

Tonight marks the first seven days, and once the moon rises into the sky, you'll be creeping off into the night to meet with Mondstadt's Cavalry Captain in his office. He'll be expecting you.

You wrap your knuckles across Diluc's office door three quick times, calling out: "Master Diluc, I've brought order forms from the morning and afternoon."

Though you expected silence in return, as Diluc tends to be out of office at midday most of the time, he calls out to you from inside.

"Come in."

You twist the knob of the door and push it open, entering the room with your back straight. He sits behind his large, wooden desk, eyes glued to whatever he's writing at the moment. You watch and he crosses a T and dots a few Is before his crimson gaze flickers to where you stand.

He outstretches his hand and you place the order forms into his grip.

"Thank you, y/n."

The way he says your name each time when you complete a task and he thanks you for it has always been quite nice, in your opinion. You're sure he does it with all the staff members that keep up around the manor, but it's a nice touch. It allows him to narrow his appreciation to a more personalized level, rather than blanketing his thanks across the team. Diluc seems to appreciate individuals.

You make a mental note of that.

"My pleasure," you mod, "—then, I'll be off."

"Wait just a moment," he requests, voice deep and slightly monotone, but ebbing with an edge of softness.

"Oh," falls from your lips before you have the chance to stop it. "Yes sir?"

He sets the order forms you just handed him aside, lithe fingers ghosting against the glossy surface of his desk.

"Are you adjusting well?" Diluc inquires. "Not just here at your job and at the winery, —but to Mondstadt."

His question takes you by surprise. It's hardly in the description of his position to be worried about the personal lives and feelings of his employees, but the fact that he does says quite a bit about his character. At least to you, anyway.

"Yes, I think so,” you nod. “Everyone here at the manor has been exceptionally welcoming, and the people of Mondstadt are very kind.”

Diluc nods.

“I’m glad,” he says simply. “Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need something, I’ll be more than glad to help in any way I can, even if that just means pointing you in the direction of someone more qualified than myself.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, then,” you answer, offering him a coy smile.

You may well be a private investigator, but you’re also painfully human, and Diluc. . . Well, he’s handsome. He’s kind and considerate, if a bit blunt, and he’s honest (perhaps to a fault, but in your actual line of work, that serves to be a very beneficial thing.)

“Thank you.”

Your thanks is genuine, despite the circumstances at play, and the way your heart skips a little beat is also genuine (if a bit embarrassingly so.) In your defense, however, it’s hard not to get that way around Diluc when he’s so intriguing. He has a magnetizing quality, and though his general front is one of a business-oriented young man who seeks not the friendship of others, it’s starkly obvious that so much more is swimming just beneath the surface.

You close his office door behind you on the way out, pausing just outside to rest your back against the wood. A small sigh escapes your lips, and you clutch at the fabric of your uniform that sits just above your heart.

Diluc Ragnvindr is a very curious man.

Kaeya sits across from you, boot-covered feet perched up on his desk. Seeing him like this, you realize just how different he and Diluc are despite their connection (or lack thereof these days.) The younger is much more outwardly warm; almost inviting. The elder is the colder of the two, despite their respective Cryo and Pyro visions saying otherwise. Kaeya is loosely wrapped, while Diluc is wound tight. For brothers, it seems to you that they couldn’t possibly be more unalike.

“There’s really nothing much of interest to report,” you say, watching his handsome face closely for any sign of disappointment.

You don’t find any, though half of his most telling feature is hidden behind an eyepatch.

“He’s a diligent man, from what I’ve gathered. Knowledgeable about his own line of work, but also willing to be stood corrected if the need for it arises.”

Kaeya snickers, removing his legs from the desk to plant the small heels of his boots firmly on the floor.

“He can be quite proud, but it’s no wonder you haven’t seen that side of him yet,” he comments amusedly.

A small part of you wants to reflexively defend Diluc, —insist that everyone can be that way from time to time if the circumstances call for it, but you bite your tongue. After all, Kaeya is your commissioner, and the last thing you’d want to do is upset the very man paying you handsomely for your work. Even more so, he’s known Diluc far longer than you have. They’re brothers. . . You can only assume Kaeya knows about and has seen things of Diluc that you could never imagine to be plausible under the image of the man you’ve come to know thus far.

“He works quite a bit, but seems to handle himself well enough,” you add, hoping to shift the topic a bit. “If he were anyone else, I might suggest he slow down, but a part of me thinks he might do best when his days are jam-packed and there’s never a lull in his duties.”

“You’re perceptive,” Kaeya notes, although it doesn’t feel much like a compliment of your skills, but rather a blunt observation.

It felt like something he was testing you for, as if you’d just passed the first step of some unknown trial you didn’t know you were taking part in.

“My dear brother. . . He works himself to the bone,” Kaeya dramatizes.

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping, Mr. Alberich—”

“Kaeya,” he interjects lightly.

You backtrack and begin again.

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping, Kaeya,” you correct, “but if you know all of this already, then why hire a private investigator?”

Though he seems to be the flippant type, you highly doubt he’d sink low enough to hire the likes of you just to make Diluc feel uneasy in his own home. You suspect there’s something gaping between the two of them —something that’s separated them quite headily— but you also know it’s not your place to question such things. Moreover, even with that in mind, you can sense that Kaeya cares for Diluc. He may well prefer to wear a mask of flirtatious indifference, but Kaeya is much like Diluc in the way that he slips on a mask each morning to shield himself from the view prying eyes.

Maybe they’re not so different after all. . .

Kaeya laughs.

“Like I said before, —I’m just concerned about him, is all,” he answers. “He’s family. Is that so strange?”

You purse your lips before answering.

“No, I suppose not.”

The days go by smoothly, and soon turn into weeks. Every seven days, you return to Kaeya’s office in the Knights of Favonius headquarters with nothing particularly of interest to report. He seems unphased by the plateuted investigation, —as if that’s what he’d been expecting the entire time.

You don’t tell Kaeya that Diluc slips out of the manor at night sometimes.

A part of you thinks he already knows as much, but on the off-chance he hasn’t a clue, you don’t know that it’s your place to say. Though you’re technically working for Kaeya above all else, it’s hard to remove your feelings from this predicament when you spend all of your days working under Diluc rather than his brother. You don’t want to betray either of their trust, but each time you try to explain the way the red haired male sneaks off, clinging to the shadows, you can’t bring yourself to rat him out.

You fear you really weren’t cut out for this job so early on. It seemed to be an easy task in the beginning, but you’d completely forgotten that you too are human, just as they are, and your feelings were bound to get in the way. Emotions are a virtue, but also a deadly vice. They’re a double-edged sword, —one of ice, and one of fire.

“Y/n, there you are,” Adelinde says, approaching you in one of the branching bedrooms you’ve been tidying up for the past fifteen minutes or so.

“Sorry,” you apologize, “I didn’t know you were looking for me. Is everything alright?”

“Not to worry,” she brushes it off easily, “Master Diluc requested that I send you to his office, so please hurry over. I’ll finish up here in your place.”

“Oh, you’re sure? I can finish when I get back. I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” Adelinde insists, taking the broom from your hands gently. “Off you go.”

Her playful prompt earns a smile from you and you quickly do as instructed. You’re a bit nervous for what’s to come considering Diluc has never called for you specifically. . . Each time you’ve entered his office, it’s been only to hand him papers, a snack, a drink, or to inform him of something important. Otherwise, your interactions with him have taken place casually in the halls or outside on the deck of the manor. Pleasantries, usually, just impromptu conversation or simple hellos exchanged in passing.

This is likely to be different, though.

You wrap your knuckles against the door, and Diluc calls out from the inside.

“Come in.”

You do, closing the door behind you.

“My apologies for interrupting your work,” he says, “but I was wrapping up these order forms and it suddenly dawned on me that you haven’t had the opportunity to explore Mondstadt, have you?”

He’s not wrong there. Between working around the manor and having to sneak away to report back to Kaeya, the most you’ve really seen is whatever lies between those two necessary destinations. Even then, most of your sight-seeing has been muddled by darkness and a general rushing from one place to the next.

“Not much,” you answer honestly, “but from what I have seen, it’s a very beautiful place.”

He cracks a smile, —something you don’t see often from him.

“It is,” he nods.

You always had an inkling that he was fond of this nation, but now you know that to be the case. There’s a little sparkle in his eyes now, one that anyone but you might well have missed. But it’s very literally your job to hone in on even the smallest details. It can’t be helped that you notice the little things about him.

“I’d hate to be the reason you don’t see at least the city properly,” he continues on. “I’ve got some errands to run in a bit before late evening falls, so if you’d like to accompany me, I’d be grateful for the help, and I’d be sure to give you a modest tour.”

His offer takes you by surprise, but you accept it readily nonetheless. You’re supposed to be gathering information about him in his day-to-day life, after all, and there’s likely no better way to go about that than to accompany him on a casual trip. This is a perfect opportunity to fulfill your duties for Kaeya in a proactive manner; maybe finally have something of note to report back to him.

Deep down, though, you know that’s not all there is to it. A part of you, for whatever reason, wants to head out with Diluc, —wants to hear him speak more when it’s directed for your ears only. Wants whatever personal attention he’ll give you. . . And you’re not sure what to make of that. You fear you know exactly where it stems from, but it’s far too early to say as far as you’re concerned. Most of all, you’d rather it be something else entirely.

Talk about unprofessionalism. . .

There’s something starkly different about this Diluc, however. He seems more at ease, less rigid and stiff as he walks the streets of Mondstadt. He even offers casual smiles to those that greet him as they pass him by. Fondness radiates from every pore on his body, and you, in all his glory, can’t help but think that it’s sweet. You doubt that’s something you can report back to his brother, but you note it, for yourself if nothing else.

“Those white flowers are pretty,” you comment, finger pointing toward the pale-colored petals atop vibrantly green stems.

The young girl selling them seems to beam with pride in the moments before she opens her mouth to speak.

“They’re called Cecilia flowers,” she tells you, “—they only grow in Mondstadt.”

“Ah, I guess that’s why I’ve never seen them before,” you reply. “Still, they’re beautiful.”

“You like them?” Diluc asks.

You nod, “I do! They’re unique. I’ve never seen anything quite like them.”

At your confirmation, Diluc stuffs a large hand into one of his pockets and rifles around for a moment before pulling out a small sum of Mora. He hands it to Flora, who readily accepts it in her small palms that seem even tinier than they really are in comparison to Diluc’s. Though she owns a popular and seemingly successful flower shop, the way her eyes glimmer with childlike wonder at the sight of currency really encapsulates her true, innocent nature.

“Can I just take this one here?” Diluc asks, pointing toward one of the Cecilia flowers you were fawning over just moments ago.

Flora nods.

“It’s all yours, but do be careful with it! Flowers are quite delicate,” she warns.

He nods in understanding, taking the plant gently into his grasp before leading you just a ways away. In this little pocket of the city, nobody is looking your way. It’s all too easy to slink into the corners and take a breather, —share a moment with Diluc that nobody else is privy to. Against Flora’s advice, he snaps the stem off a bit, then holds the flower close to you.

“May I?”

You’re not sure what he’s asking permission for, but you’d venture to say that you trust Diluc, so you give him a curt nod in a wordless response. He takes that as a go-ahead, gently pushing your hair away to slip the remaining stem behind your ear, pausing to make sure it’s secured before he pulls away and steps back. The way his eyes graze over you leaves your heart skipping a beat, feeling like some masterpiece painted by a skilled painter being admired as a finished product.

“Lovely,” he says, softly so, as if mumbling it to himself instead of you.

Your heart quivers.

As he goes about the rest of his tasks, retrieving fresh fruits from various vendors, obtaining new bottles and labels, and purchasing the both of you a quick, light dinner, you find yourself relaxing into his rhythm. He doesn’t say much, but his actions speak volumes, and you find yourself getting lost in the beat of his drum. Of course, it’s not like you can go to meet Kaeya tonight and tell him that his brother is a perfect candidate for a date, but at this point, it’s the only thing on your mind.

Not that this is a date.

That’s definitely not the case. . . Right?

Your nerves spike at the thought of it.

“I’m bartending at the Angel’s Share tonight,” Diluc says, pulling you from your thoughts. “Would you like to come? I’ll mix you something to your taste.”

The sun has yet to fully sink its way out of the sky, and you have no reason in particular to refuse him; so you don’t. Upon entering the tavern, you sit on one of the stools just in front of the bar, and Diluc makes his way behind the counter. You’re on the job —maybe even on two at once— so you request something non-alcoholic and he obliges, mixing you a fizzling fruit juice. It tastes like sunsettias and a flavor you can’t quite put your finger on, but it’s crisp and refreshing nonetheless.

“This is really good,” you compliment, taking another quick sip for emphasis.

He smiles again, and you’re certain that you’ve seen that expression on his face more times today alone than you have in the past four weeks you’ve been working under him.

“I’m glad you like it,” he replies.

You resign yourself to watching him work, mixing drinks for those that request for them. It’s clear that he’s skilled, has memorized every drink on the menu by heart, and knows exactly what he’s doing in every sense of the phrase. By the time your drink is halfway gone, the door of the tavern opens and you casually look over your shoulder out of curiosity. You nearly allow your expressions to betray you when Kaeya saunters in, but you manage to collect yourself, letting your eyes linger for a moment before laxly turning back around.

Kaeya seems hellbent on making your job (and life) that much harder, however, because he takes the seat directly beside you and angles his elbow along the bar, resting his cheek on the flat of his palm.

“The usual, Master Diluc,” Kaeya requests, sarcasm dripping from his lips.

Though you’ve been dealing with each of them for almost a month now, you’ve yet to see them interact. This is new territory. Unsurprisingly, Kaeya seems to be a bit of an instigator, while Diluc deflects his attempts at getting a rise out of him with a stone faced expression and almost mechanical movements. It’s a bit anxiety-inducing to be so up close and personal with it, but the dynamic between them is. . . Interesting, to say the least.

“Here,” Diluc mutters with a bitter edge to his voice, placing a glass before his brother.

No thanks is offered in reply, Kaeya simply swipes the glass up and tips it back, downing half of it in one fell swoop. You try not to stare, worried that seeming too familiar with Kaeya might give way to hints about the true nature of your relationship to him, —but Kaeya makes it admittedly hard to look away. The way he’s acting now is not in total contrast to the demeanor he has when you’ve been alone with him, but it’s not quite the same, either. It straddles an odd line drawn pitifully in the sand, and you’re not certain of what to do with yourself at the moment.

“I’m sure you’ve heard by now,” Kaeya pipes up again, “but Mondstadt has been buzzing with rumors about the so-called Darknight Hero.”

You doubt Diluc has been able to miss word of that. You’ve only been here for a short time, but even you have heard news of the mysterious vigilante that protects Mondstadt from the shadows. Though much less than official, Kaeya doesn’t seem particularly perturbed by the rumored existence of such a figure. . . More or less, he seems amused by it, as he often is by many things. Any and all things, actually.

“I don’t pay attention to baseless rumors,” Diluc responds coldly, eyes never drifting from the glass in his hand as he cleans the inside of it with a cloth.

Though you know you don’t have enough evidence to say for certain, you happen to believe that he’s being less than truthful. While he may well avoid the gossip that average people engage with throughout the day, you believe Diluc knows a lot more about the Darknight Hero than he’s letting on.

You might even venture to call it a rather personal endeavor.

That would certainly explain all the sneaking away from the manor that he does on random nights.

“Don’t be so uptight, Diluc,” Kaeya sighs into the latter half of his drink, “maybe gossiping a bit would do you some good. Frowning so much will frighten your customers away.”

The elder of the brothers sighs, but says nothing in reply. The younger snickers at the small reaction and tips his head back again, swallowing the rest of his drink down.

“Refill please,” he requests, to which Diluc snatches the glass away from him and does as asked with a scowl etched across his features.

He’s a bit ashamed of himself for acting this way in front of you, but Kaeya tends to bring the worst out of him, and he knows that. They both know it, in fact. You feel like you’re witnessing something that you’re not supposed to be seeing, and heavily consider finishing your drink up quickly and heading for the door. Even so, you sit still and stay silent, observing Diluc when he looks away and stealing small peeks at Kaeya, who is all too good at pretending like you simply don’t exist.

You drink a cup and a half in the time it takes Kaeya to chug four. You’re not sure whether that’s somewhat grotesque or impressive, but you keep those thoughts to yourself, and instead sit in silence as the two of them continually go back and forth with verbal spats. Kaeya starts them off, typically finishes them as well, and Diluc does his best to ignore his brother as much as he can whilst still doing his job.

“Well, I should be off,” Kaeya notes, swiping the back of his hand across his mouth. “I’ll be sure to stop by soon and pay you a visit, brother.”

As he stands, Kaeya taps his fingers against your knee. While you don’t react, you get the picture, and you excuse yourself from the bar not long after, denying Diluc’s request to walk you back to the manor. You take the long way to the Knights of Favonius headquarters this time; just in case.

Somewhere along the line, you’re forced to recognize that you’ve become more of a maid than a private investigator. This job pays well though, and with no foreseeable clients thus far, you don’t exactly have any other options. It would be impossible to advertise your services in Mondstadt now, what with Diluc roaming around, able to see flyers at any time. Not to mention that he’s paying you for your services at Dawn Winery as well, so you’re getting twice the income for the time being, and those savings will likely be very helpful down the line.

“Master Diluc,” you say, knocking on his office door with a plate of mint jelly freshly prepared by one of the maids. “I have a snack for you, if you’d like it.”

You were fairly certain he was in at the moment, but no answer rings out.

“Master Diluc?”

When you knock again, the door opens a tad and you steal a quick glance inside. Diluc is asleep at his desk, which is very much unlike him. Though you wonder if it’s best to simply leave him be and let him rest, the flush on his cheeks that you can see from even across the room leaves you worried.

The pang in your chest tells you that you’ve gotten too involved, and you kick yourself for making such a grave mistake your first time out on your own. It’s too late to take your feelings back now, so you sigh softly and all but accept your fate. Placing the plate on the edge of his desk, you place your hand against his forehead and roughly check his temperature. He’s warmer than you suspect he should be, and he doesn’t stir from the contact.

“Master Diluc,” you repeat for a third time, lightly shaking his shoulder to wake him up.

Slowly but surely, his eyelids peel back to reveal the glossy crimson of his irises. It’s clear that he’s a little dazed, and you keep your voice down, speaking to him softly.

“Do you feel unwell?” You ask, though you’re certain you already know the answer.

He blinks, looking so innocent in the moment that it’s almost startling.

“Just a bit,” he says, stifling a yawn.

This certainly isn’t the time to be thinking about such things, but you can’t help acknowledging that he’s quite cute with his hair disheveled and cheeks reddened. In your defense, you’re an investigator, and noting the small details is simply part of your job description. Maybe not the one Diluc pays you for, —but certainly for the one Kaeya does, albeit not in this fashion. . .

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping my boundaries, but I think you should go lie down,” you tell him, doing your best to tread carefully.

After that date-like evening out on the town and him slipping that Cecilia flower behind your ear, you’re uncertain of where you stand with him. You’re nowhere near naive enough to think he sees you as nothing more than an employee, but the rest is muddled from there. Is he seeking friendship? Is he after something more? Or, maybe, he’s seen right through you and is just trying to judge for himself what your true intentions are.

In any case, you know it’ll weigh heavily on your conscience if you don’t at least encourage him to go and rest when he feels ill.

You expected him to shake his head and insist that everything was fine, that he didn’t need the rest and could get on with his workday just fine, —but much to your surprise, he simply nods in agreement.

“You’re not overstepping at all,” he assures you. “I’ve been off all day, but I thought I could pull through. . . I suppose I was wrong.”

“He can be quite proud, but it’s no wonder you haven’t seen that side of him yet.”

Kaeya’s words ring out in your mind, but you still find that sentiment a bit distasteful. In fact, as things have gone on longer, this entire situation has become increasingly distasteful from your point of view. While you understand Kaeya’s motive for doing so, you wholeheartedly believe he’s going about this the wrong way. Of course, it’s likely not your place to say such a thing, but the temptation to do so grows with each passing meeting.

You’ve gotten tangled up in this mess of threads somehow, and you really want to be the one to make things right, even if you know that’s not your call.

You help Diluc to bed and inform the other members of staff that he’s not feeling well. Though they offer assistance, you insist that you can handle things yourself.

“Can I get you anything else?” You ask him as you adjust the cool cloth you just draped across his forehead.

This is the first time you’ve seen Diluc in comfortable clothes. The way loose fabric folds and caresses his skin is something akin to magical, and for the first time in your life, you find yourself being jealous of inanimate materials. A full glass of water sits on the nightstand beside his bed, and his bright hair is splayed across the pillow his head is resting on.

“No, I’m fine,” he insists, not wanting to take more of your time, but somehow wanting to do so all within the same breath.

“I’m sorry for making you go to all this trouble, y/n.”

“Not at all,” you shake your head in reply. “Please, rest well and feel better soon.”

It was nothing more than a passing cold mixed with some light exhaustion. He was almost completely better by the next morning, but something had irrevocably changed.

You were stuck staring at the ceiling that night, thinking about the way he all but nuzzled into the warmth of your palm when you went to check his temperature.

“Not to be brash, but don’t you think this is getting a little repetitive?” You ask.

Kaeya denies nothing, but shrugs his shoulders in reply.

“Maybe,” he answers simply.

“Okay. . . Then maybe it’s time to call this quits?” You press.

It’s been eighty-four days, and this investigation has proved to be completely useless, for lack of a better word. Diluc is many things, is definitely the Darknight Hero, —but none of that is anything Kaeya hadn’t known before you got there. You don’t want to be presumptuous and jump to the conclusion that he’d been playing with you for all this time, but you don’t exactly have another explanation to end with.

“I suppose that’s your choice to make,” Kaeya shrugs again, uncrossing his long, slender legs in order to lean forward and fix his single-eyed gaze on you. “You’re the professional here.”

You’re frustrated, but try your best to not let it show. You’re the professional here, after all.

“I don’t understand,” you say, voice even, but also notably cold. “What was the point of any of this? I didn’t tell you anything you didn’t already know, and moreso, everything you seem to want can’t be accomplished through me. If you want to reconcile with your brother, I can’t snap my fingers and magically make that happen.”

His face falters for a moment, surprised by your sudden questioning. Kaeya collects himself quickly, fixing up the mask that slipped ever so slightly out of place.

“Who said my brother and I needed any type of reconciliation?” He questions.

“You didn’t have to say that outright,” you answer, “it was glaringly obvious from the moment I saw the two of you interact at the Angel’s Share.”

A wiry smile works its way onto his lips.

“As expected of you, little detective.”

His comment is likely patronizing, but you don’t have the energy to care. Right now, you’re more concerned with how you’re going to break all of this to Diluc and claw at the scraps of whatever’s left. It was an invasion of privacy, and you’re far from blind to that. In this line of work, you’re no stranger to overstepping the boundaries that most people wouldn’t even dream of toeing. But this time, you’re sorry. It didn’t lead to any grand discoveries, and nothing has been settled. You might as well have been further shoving Diluc into himself, giving him yet another reason to be distrustful and look at all those around him with skeptical glares.

“I’m going to be honest with him,” you say firmly. “I won’t break our confidentiality, but I imagine he’ll put the pieces together himself.”

“More than likely,” Kaeya nods in agreement, but doesn’t seem particularly phased by that in the slightest.

“Well then,” you say, pulling yourself to your feet, “If that’s all, then I’ll be leaving.”

He raises a single hand, holding a pouch of Mora with nimble fingers.

“Don’t forget your final payment, investigator,” he quips.

Your reply of “keep it” is curt as the door to his official latches shut behind you.

Whatever happens from here will happen. You may well not like the ending, but it’s not yours to decide upon. As far as you can tell, Kaeya just wanted someone to care for Diluc without having to ask for it explicitly, —but to say that he went about it in the wrong way would be a grave understatement. With the moon hanging bright in the sky, you make your way back to the manor by way of starlight. A part of you wishes you could melt into the reflected rays of the sun and hide there, but you know that you owe it to Diluc to come clean. If nothing else, he deserves to know the truth.

Unfortunately, all thoughts of coming clean go out the window the minute you see Diluc kneeling on the ground just outside the manor, —arm wrapped tight around his abdomen, hunching over in pain with an obvious grimace written across his face. Obviously you haven’t a clue what’s happened, but you have nothing more to hide, so you rush toward him with reckless abandon and grasp at him softly as to avoid hurting him unintentionally.

“Diluc?” You question urgently, “—are you okay? What happened?”

“It’s fine,” he grits through clenched teeth, “I’m fine.”

“He can be quite proud, but it’s no wonder you haven’t seen that side of him yet.”

“You’re not fine,” you say bluntly.

His hand is covered in blood, assumedly his own. You can smell the thick, metallic scent that hangs heavy in the otherwise fresh and crisp night air.

“Here, let me help you inside,” you continue, and he obliges since he’s clearly in no position to refuse the help.

Despite his injury, the both of you make haste through the halls to the bedroom you’d been given the day he hired you as a maid for the manor. Droplets of his blood stain the sheets of your bed, but you fear you won’t be needing them for any longer anyway. You bite your tongue for the time being, knowing your admission would only add insult to injury as things are.

“I’ll. . . I’ll need you to take your shirt off,” you say, voice wavering under the circumstances.

It’s something you’d likely have preferred in a much different context, but this. . . Yeah, this isn’t what you had in mind, that’s for sure.

He hesitates, but you have a sneaking suspicion that insecurity and discomfort aren’t the reason for such. Rather, his gaze writes a story that he can’t will his tongue to, and you take a sharp breath in.

He needs help.

You offer it, apologizing when he hisses through his teeth. Pulling it off like a bandaid is less effective when holes, wounds, and limbs are involved, making that method largely ineffective. Again, it’s likely not the time to admire him, but he’s undeniably attractive and as that realization washes over you once again, you find it harder to meet his gaze.

“How bad does it hurt?” You ask.

His stomach heaves a little, stretching the gash. It doesn't appear to be very deep, but it likely feels a lot worse than it looks, especially in such an easily agitated area.

“It could be worse,” Diluc acknowledges, “but it damn sure doesn’t feel good.”

You learned very early on in your (real) line of work that it’s always best to carry a first aid kit with you. Upon traveling to Mondstadt, you certainly didn’t leave yours behind. Pulling it out from your single bag of belongings that you never properly unpacked, you lower yourself into the space between Diluc’s legs and try to avoid his eyes. You’re not oblivious enough to not realize that this is a rather compromising position.

Being gentle is hard when so much debris has fallen into a cut, but you do your best to do the least amount of harm you can. His breathing gradually settles as you work, and he feels guilty for the blood he’s gotten not only on your bed, but on your hands as well.

“So,” you speak up, finally breaking the silence that had fallen between the two of you, “this is what it’s really like being Mondstadt’s Darknight Hero, huh?”

You steal a glance at his face to find that he’s completely unsurprised.

“How long have you known?” He asks in reply, dodging your question with ease.

“I noticed early on that you sneak away from the manor late at night,” you answer. “Not that I knew why at first, and I never thought it necessary to follow you. . . But the moment I heard the other maids discussing the rumors, I put two and two together fairly quickly.”

Diluc doesn’t have it in him to be annoyed. Rather, he’s impressed at the way you seemingly solved that little case of his so easily, cracking it open like an egg above a hot frying pan.

“I think what really made me certain of it all was when you took me around the city,” you continue on. “I could tell that you truly love Mondstadt, and that you’d do anything to protect it. Which I think is admirable, of course, but. . . Seeing the fallout like this is quite sobering.”

“It usually doesn’t end like this,” he clarifies. “My mind was somewhere else tonight, and I shouldn’t have gone out. What happened was on me for letting my guard down so easily.”

“Where was your mind?” Comes your next question, although you’re not sure you’re really in the position to be asking such things.

“Just. . . Just somewhere,” he replies.

You don’t push it.

Instead, you take your time wrapping long strips of bandage around his waist that will hopefully protect his open wound from bacteria and subsequent infection. You then move on to the few open cuts on his face, which are much less severe, but deserving of similar attention. His face is close to yours, so much so that you can feel the gentle fanning of his breath as it skims across your skin. Your heart pounds in a way you fear it doesn’t deserve to as you tend to his wounds.

Although he’s sore and still dealing with dull aches and sharp spikes of pain, his hand reaches up, fingers curving around your wrist. He’s surprisingly gentle as he pulls your hand away, then transfers that same hand to match the profile of your cheek. He still smells of blood, but you catch the semblance of sweet sunsettias and a soothing, natural musk as he slowly moves a little closer.

Diluc Ragnvindr is about to kiss you.

He’s a mere pinky finger’s length away from capturing your lips in his, —and you want it so bad.

But you know well enough by now that sometimes you just aren’t meant to have all the things you want.

“Wait,” you say sharply, still keeping your voice down.

He stalls.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. . .” you trail off for a moment. “I can’t let this go any further if I don’t tell you that I’m not who you think I am.”

Somehow, he doesn’t seem phased by that, either.

“I figured as much,” he answers, “but go ahead. I’m listening.”

His lips are still dangerously close to yours as you answer.

“My name is y/n, but I’m not just a traveler who sought work in Mondstadt. I’m a private investigator, and I was hired to work here at the Dawn Winery to keep an eye on you. I was never given specifics, and I never really found anything either, besides you being the Darknight Hero and all. . .”

Diluc sighs softly.

“Kaeya’s doing, I presume?” He asks.

“Confidential,” you reply simply, —but he already knows the answer.

Still, in spite of it all, Diluc doesn’t seem angry. Maybe you were right to assume that he knew something was fishy all along.

“You’re quite good at your job,” he compliments. “If I had been anyone else, I’m sure you wouldn’t have raised anyone’s suspicions.”

You’re worried he can hear your heart pounding now as it hammers away in your chest.

“Thank you for saying so,” you reply.

His thumb glides over the skin of your cheek, caressing it softly.

“Let’s rewind a bit,” he suggests. “My name is Diluc Ragnvindr. I’m the owner of Mondstadt’s Dawn Winery, and I’m the so-called Darknight Hero, the midnight vigilante who protects Mondstadt from the shadows. I also prefer grape juice to wine, ironically enough.”

The last bit makes you giggle.

“I’m y/n y/l/n. I’m a novice private investigator, I carry that first aid kit everywhere I go because I’ve learned that lesson of going without it one too many times, and I really hadn’t been to Mondstadt before I arrived here. As for everything else, I’m hoping. . . You’ll want to find the answers for yourself. . .”

Your eyes glimmer with hope, and Diluc says nothing in return. Instead, he leans in to seal this new beginning with an ardent kiss.

153 notes · View notes

ethanharli · 2 years

Text

Requested; No, Two characters.

Pairing(s); Diluc Ragnvinder x Male Reader.

Warning(s); Hurt/Comfort, Happy ending, Mentions of poor mental health, Depression, Self loathing, Hyperventilating.

DNI; if you use she/her pronouns.

A/n- Was going to make this for four characters until I realized how long it was, so I might just make a part two, and I'll just reblog this tomorrow, I don't care how many people see it tonight.

________________

Tears slowly slid down your cheeks as you stared blankly at your hands, the past few days have been utter hell for you, even though nothing particularly bad happened. It was a terrible feeling, one that made your heart ache as guilt flooded through you, it felt as if it had an iron grip on your heart, making your chest hurt. Nothing bad has happened and yet all you can think of is the negative, about yourself, about how others may view you, or feel about you, and worst of all, what your lover may think of you. Those thoughts slowly gnawed at you the past few days, digging deeper and deeper into your thoughts until it all came flooding out.

You felt weak, and broken, as you always have been. You felt like you were being dramatic, that you had no reason to feel like this when nothing has happened, but that thinking only made it worse. You wondered how Diluc could put up with you, when you're so god damn broken. Why would he waste his time, when there was nothing you could offer him. Your breathing started to get short and shallow, your lungs burning as you hugged yourself, hunching over as you sobbed. It hurt, everything hurt. You couldn't focus, your head was pounding while your body ached.

The only other thing you could feel was warm hands holding your face, gently lifting it to look into those familiar ruby red eyes. "Beloved, look at me," He spoke so gently, as you tired your hardest, your sides hurt while your lungs still burned, but you tried your best to so as told. "Try and breath with me, in, and out slowly," It took a while, but you nodded, slowly but surely doing your best to control your breathing as he gently wiped away your tears. "There you go, you're doing great" He hated seeing you in so much pain, he desperately wished he could rid you of it and your struggles, but that was just wishful thinking.

"Why.. Why are you still here? aren't you tired of me by now?" You sounded so broken, the pain in your voice and the question itself catching him off guard. However, he leaned down, softly kissing your forehead before moving to sit next to you, letting you lay against his chest. The warmth he gave off comforted you as it always did, and slowly it helped settle your mind, even if the thoughts still lingered, and your body felt sore. He was there with you, and in that moment, all felt right. "Because I love you, [Y/n]" Diluc leaned his head against yours, pulling you closer against his chest as he gently rubbed your arm, "I have since we were young, your mental health has never bothered or been a burden on me, we all have our struggles, you just struggle a bit differently."

His words brought you comfort, and you moved to kiss his jaw. A small smile adoring his lips as he took your face in his hand, resting his forehead against yours, "I know what I signed up for when I asked you to be my lover, and I know you try your hardest to work on your health every day."

"I am here because I care about you, and because I love you, to me [Y/n], you are irreplaceable" You met his gaze, before pulling him in for a kiss, it was gentle, and sweet, and slowly made you feel at ease, "I love you too, Diluc."

____________

Requested; No, Two characters.

Pairing(s); Gorou x Male Reader.

Warning(s); Angst no comfort, Depression, Distancing, Mentions of the war and fighting, Self loathing, Small bit of arguing, Mentions of suicide.

____________

You didn't know what to feel anymore, you didn't even think you could feel anything at this point. The past month has left you feeling like trash, kicked around and stomped on, but the guilt you felt made you feel like you were dying inside. It pulsed through your every nerve, leaving you in constant mental and physical pain, it tore and ripped through you like a pack of wild dogs. It was agonizing, you felt like a burden to your boyfriend and the rest of the people on Watatsumi Island. Gorou was constantly planning and fighting, seeing things that brought him endless nightmares, and you couldn't even properly comfort him in his time of need, even though he'd always be at your beck and call whenever you started to break down.

A shitty boyfriend, they told you, and it rang through your head for ages. It tore through all the hard work you put into getting better in a matter of seconds, setting you straight back to square one, where it only got worse from then on. You and Gorou were doing fine, he'd come back home and rest in your arms, you'd pet his ears and let him sit in silence or hear him rant about his day, and he'd do the same for you. You'd comfort him through his nightmares and he'd comfort you when your depression got bad. You looked out for each other, took care of each other, you went on fun dates and made such loving memories, you guy's were fine. So why- why did it suddenly feel like it's not?

The comment had left you in shambles, making you look for anything that could've shown that something was wrong, and almost everything did. After a month of it eating away at you, you finally had enough. You didn't really know what to do, but there only seemed to be one option, especially since the war was still going and every little thing told you that you're a burden to him. So you sat and waited, your body tense as you tried to hold back the tears, the thought of doing this killed you, it hurt much more than anything else ever did, but you had to, you had to do it. "[Y/n] I'm back!" You couldn't help but ease up at the sound of his voice, it always made you happy, but this might be the last time you ever hear it.

"[Y/n]?" His ears flattened when he saw you sitting there, a deep frown on your face that had him worried, "We need to talk." You couldn't look at him, the worry and fear in his eyes being to much to handle as he sat beside you, "What about?" His hand rested on yours, but you quickly pulled back, trying to stay strong, "I think.. we should take a break." Tears gathered in your eyes as you looked back at him, he was frozen, staring at you with a pained expression that tore you apart. "Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?" You could feel your heart breaking, it was agonizing, seeing the person you love look so scared, and broken.

"No Gorou, you did nothing wrong, I just think we need to be apart for a while-"

"But why!" The pain and desperation in his voice was so clear, you wanted to apologize and hug him, tell him it'd be alright, but you couldn't, you had to do this, you needed to do this. "You're a General, Gorou! going through war, the last thing you need is to come home and worry about if your boyfriend is going to kill himself!" The tears finally spilled down your cheeks, voice shaking as you stared at him. He was shedding his own tears, ears pressed flat against his head as he looked at you, the look in his eyes making you feel so fucking shitty. You couldn't hold it back anymore, taking his face in your hands you pressed your forehead against his, "So when the war is over, and I have worked on myself more, I'll come back to you, Gorou, I promise."

"But-"

"Please Gorou, please don't fight me on this," You sobbed, pulling back to look at him with a small smile, "I love you so much, please don't forget that." He merely stared, looking utterly defeated as he turned away from you, "I love you too.. so just- just go" His body shook as you turned away, his sobs echoing in your head as you walked out.

#x male reader #x reader #genshin x male reader #genshin x reader #diluc x male reader #diluc x reader #gorou x male reader #gorou x reader #genshin impact x male reader #genshin impact x reader

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bbiemochi · 3 years

Note

May I request Diluc with an s/o who isn't from Mondstad and they learn that the Ragnvinder clan is a pretty important family so they go upto diluc like 'so to actually date you do i have pass a trial ,defeat some opponents for your hand or something?' Diluc reassuring them that there is no need but they are like 'no love this might actually be fun' Kaeya being like 'why yes you have to fight me off' LMFAO. Feel free to ignore if its too specific, :) this is just my 1st time requesting on tumblr.

𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚛 ! | diluc ragnvindr x reader

[an]: oh my god this had been sitting in my drafts for far too long and it’s because i was so confused on how to write the story ToT hi ‼️sorry for posting this late ^^’ hope u love it ! <3 tysm for requesting!

summary: the tale of the ragnvindr clan from mondstadt had been ringing into everyone’s ears in every region of teyvat. meanwhile for the l/n clan from fontaine, they humbly tried to make you, their youngest daughter to date ragnvindr’s clan current head of the family, diluc ragnvindr. however, there are some trials you need to compete in order to do so…

pairing: diluc ragnvindr x fem!reader [ lowkey love at first sight djfndjf ]

***

“you need to get married soon, y/n,” your father chanted from beyond the sparring grounds. panting, your head turned over to look at your father with a bewildered expression, wiping you sweat off of your forehead. “me? get married?”

“yes, archons y/n, you’re 21 years old. isn’t it the best time to get married? i mean, there’s no problem if you don’t but our family needs to keep growing. it’s just what our ancestors requested,” your mother butts in alongside your father whose both arms are crossed. rolling your eyes, you called for someone to fetch you some water to take a small break and chat with your concerned parents. one of the reasons why you hated being one of the most distinguished clans in fontaine, is having to marry someone to carry on to your family’s legacy.

being the first one to be receiving a vision from your current family now is an astonishing success and now your whole clan planned for you to become their next big step. one is because you were their only child, and other is because you were the high intelligence of the family anyways. “do i really need to get married?” you groaned, sitting on the couch while your parents sat in front of you with worried gazes. your mother speaks, “honey, are you possibly…you know? into girls? there’s no problem with that to be honest if you are…!”

“what?!” your face turned red, almost spitting out the drink in your mouth (luckily you already drank it all but not without choking a little in the process) “i-i’m not, mother! what gave you that idea…?! i just…don’t like the idea of having someone in my life right now, you know…?” you responded, bashfully looking down at the tiled floor of your house. the maids that were running around your house, giving every single area a spark—were now exiting the living room quietly to give you and both your mother and father some privacy. your father sighs, “i understand, dear. but please try to think about getting married soon? it doesn’t matter how long it will take but…just please promise us you’ll get married soon…”

“father you’re making it sound like it’s a big deal.”

“darling it is,” your mother replies. “and by part of the bloodline you must understand our prophecies as well. in the name of the hydro archon, y/n, isn’t practicing the only thing you do all week?”

“that’s not bad now, is it, mother?” you tried your best to keep yourself from sounding rude to your parents. “besides, if i keep on training then maybe i’ll get to defend myself from any sort of danger, can i not?”

“we didn’t say a fiddle, dear. but you get our point—please do give me a grandchild,” your mother pleaded, acting dramatic. “in that way our family sprout can keep growing from the roots.” she smiles—and you frown. making your parents satisfied was your role here in your family you supposed. not like it matters much.

***

and this is why, you wanted to do things first before your parents get to be the ones handling it.

“what are you so nervous about, y/n? it’s only a small trip to the dawn winery.” your mother chimes, pulling you inside of the carriage you and your parents are going to be riding. you pulled back, “from here to mondstadt?? mother you’re completely losing it…!” you responded to her, and she frowns at you. “y/n stop overreacting this will be just a quick visit i promise. we have already sent letters to the head from here so it won’t be difficult in a pickle.” she replies, forcing you inside the carriage.

and here you are, arms crossed, face grumpy as you sat near the window side of the carriage, watching the road past by you—ignoring your mother and father’s exciting chatter about what to do when they reached to mondstadt. you wanted to spar today with a fellow trainer near your clan, yet this was the expectation you got. archons, you knew you shouldn’t had seen this coming…

“oh, i’m so excited..! the ragnvindr clan sounded like a great idea for our daughter…! b-but, do you think he’ll like y/n?” you heard your mother chatter to her husband. your father confidently crosses his arms together, “of course! who would ever refuse someone as beautiful as our daughter? i have faith in that young man’s father.” he replies. sighing loudly, you continued to ignore their shallow conversation and enjoy the view outside. it had been a long time since you departure out with both of your parents like this. it felt nostalgic…and clean. it took a while for your whole family to reach mondstadt. it was about 11pm when you arrived, and your family left the place at 8am. your father claimed you had been asleep for almost an hour on the ride—and it was no surprise that you also managed to sleep between two dreams for the entire session. stepping outside the carriage after your parents and looking right after the view of mondstadt was refreshing. not only were the grass were greener and the trees were beautiful, but the fresh smell of newly harvested grapes could be smelled from a mile away at your position. and little did they know, you loved grapes.

“this is the dawn winery, huh? ‘guess the rumors were true then,” you murmured to yourself before following by your parents’ footsteps. polite greets from the people working in the vineyard was immediately welcomed to you when you first step foot inside of the dawn winery’s door step, exquisite scent and very well-mannered establishment indeed, the rumors definitely weren’t lying this time. you were glad that one of your maids actually managed to find the perfect attire just for you after all, or else it would’ve been embarrassing for you looking like a fool to one of the biggest clans in mondstadt history.

your mother was first to knock at the door. knock, knock. her knuckles hitting the brown entry. a maid opened the door…

“ah, welcome, dear guests. i am adelinde, the head maid of the dawn winery. you must be the one’s master diluc has been waiting for, yes?” she questions, politely bowing. your mother chuckles, “yes, my dear. is he here? we’d like to have a conversation with him, if you may…” adelinde frowns, shaking her head. “unfortunately the young master is out, right now. doing business. but he will return soon, if you may like, you guys can wait right here at the dining table. me and the other maids shall fetch you some snacks while waiting. after all, master diluc says to entertain our guests while he’s gone.”

“oh that would be lovely…” your father replies. you sighed, scratching your hair. “do we really have to wait?”

“now, now, y/n. that is very rude to say it in that way. be a proper young lady and accept their invitation.” rolling your eyes, you nodded. as you entered into the mansion, your face were quickly distracted by the beautiful lights hanging up above the ceiling, astonishing and exquisite candles scattered perfectly to the sides. there was a vase you weren’t quite too sure was fit in with the house aesthetic, but it still seemed important right at the position right almost next to the owl vase. “please have a seat, dear guests. me and the others shall bring some snacks to satisfy,” adelinde calmly chimes, guiding you three to the table.

adelinde wasn’t wrong. the snacks we’re satisfyingly delicious and tasty. the amount of sweetness you just needed to calm down. one of the maids even served you some grape juice to replenish the flavor, and it was magnificent. perfect enough to relax your nerves. your parents laughed the whole time with adelinde (and now along with a butler), merely introducing themselves to the both of them while you awkwardly sat silently at the table, eating.

“oh i’m sure the young master wouldn’t mind dating a few young ladies at this time for his age,” elzer, the butler of the dawn winery says, pouring some wine over your father’s cup. “besides, he’s even old enough to get married. why must be surprised then?”

“oh trust me, we told our daughter the same thing. yet she won’t comply. she just wasn’t interested in being in love with someone,” your mother complains, and you hid your face with a nearby table napkin, trying your best to ignore her comment. here we goes embarrassing you again with some random strangers you guys just met a minute ago. elzer laughs, “well, i guess right now’s a perfect moment to introduce the young master to this fine young lady.”

“indeed..! i can’t wait..!” your mother excitedly responds. saying nothing, you stood up from your chair, causing the others to look at your with their attention. “uhhh, do you guys perhaps have a restroom that i can use?” you question. elzer nodded, “why yes of course. it’s upstairs the second floor. moco, show her the way.”

the mentioned maid said nothing else except by walking by your side and tugging at your arm. “this way, madam y/n,” she says, and you follow behind. climbing up the mansion stairs also made you slightly nervous—this place was way out of your league to fit. moco leaves your space once the both of you reached the restroom door.

you indeed walked in the restroom. yup, still fancy looking as always. all you did was wash your face and looked at your teeth to see if something was stuck. and then you headed out. you could still hear the loud chatter of your parents from downstairs, and it filled you to the brim that you don’t even wanna go downstairs anymore. this was just a waste of your time. however…there was a room near the restroom that caught your attention.

the door was opened. though it was shown not too wide open, but only the slightest opened. it looked liked the office of the winery, and it caught your interest by far during this trip. looking around to see if anyone was watching, you quietly peeked and stepped inside once the coast was clear. the office, was huge. there were no more words to describe it. a wooden eagle attached to the wall, loads of paper on the main desk of the room, paintings from left to right. even some opened books on the side of the empty desks. your mouth went agape, seeing how almost everything else was organized (except the scattered papers and books) inside the office. heck, you don’t even have time to clean your room sometimes.

checking out the scattered books on the pile, you opened one by one, taking a look at the context inside the pages. they were all…so enjoyable to read. from stories about warriors, to interesting tales of brave fighters and knights who defended the city of freedom which is mondstadt. there were various books from the pile and you couldn’t pick which one to read to next. until…

“ehem.” a loud clear throat caught your attention, making you jump from your current position. “i didn’t know such lady would just walk inside an unwelcome room like that…” a male with a static yet deep and brooding voice says upon entering the room. you turned to face a tall and slender man with pale skin, red eyes and bright red hair, worn in a low ponytail that extends to his mid-back. the young man wears a black dress shirt, a long white vest, and a black ascot with a red gem. over this he dons a dark brown coat with golden trimmings and tassels, ending with black fur-trims. just by looking at his enchanting figure you can already tell who it was. “ah—” you managed to stammer out.

the man crossed his arms, looking unimpressed which brings you the conclusion of regretting to enter this room at the first place. “you must be the daughter of the loud couple downstairs…” he says. “well then, if you are, i’m uhhh…diluc, diluc ragnvindr—of mondstadt.” he hands out his hand, waiting for you to shake it. you awkwardly grasped his gloved hand on yours and the two of you shook hand together, “uhhh y/n l/n of fontaine, nice to meet you, master diluc.”

“with pleasure, miss y/n,” he replies, and you smile. he didn’t look too bad…i mean, you can’t really tell from a person’s look after all of what they’re like. it’s all about the inside, is something your mother might tell you. yet they bring you here to his estate because they find him attractive. how ironic. clearing his throat from the moment of silence inside the office, diluc looks at you. “now, may i ask what brings you here uninvited in my office? is there something you need?”

“oh…! uhh…” shit, you knew you were going to be screwed the second you stepped inside this room. smelled like trouble already at the first place—you weren’t sure what brought you in the room whether it was because of the lack of curiosity or the fact that you saw books inside. “sorry, i just saw some books hanging open and…curiosity kills the cat, i decided to go check out what it was…pardon my sudden intrusion inside…” diluc laughs a bit, “no, it’s alright, miss y/n. i’m actually surprised you would be interested in… novels…like these…” he points out, holding onto the book you were reading at earlier, staring at it like with a mud slipping out from an ear. you tilted your head in confusion. “doubt they’re that interesting anyways…” he adds.

“whatever do you mean, master diluc? every book has good potential! that’s why they were written in the first place…!” you excitedly explained to him with a wide smile—grabbing the book from the hand. “i love how the author puts here that not all people could be saved with just yourself but to try with everyone, the warrior in this tale is inspiring i can say…”

“hm? do you perhaps like warrior stories?”

“i love every story…! as long as the plot keeps its freshness to the book i’ll read it!”

“well that’s perfect to hear. i guess your parents were right about you being enthusiastic and all that stuff. say, do you like reading?” diluc questions, taking a seat to his office desk behind you. you sat down to the chair in front of him, happily nodding your head as a reply to earlier’s question. “oh i love reading! always has been since i was a child.” you beamed. diluc smiles back a little, showing more enjoyment to the conversation you two were having. “what made you interested in it in the first place?”

“when my parents didn’t allow me to play outside with the other children. i got so bored i found a random book laying on my bedroom, then…i started reading it. and it felt…awesome…” you said, scanning down to your satisfied fingertips. “i didn’t know reading could make me feel this way. but then, i started to focus on training on how to defend myself after i got my vision…” diluc sterns, yet he raises a brow. “you’re a vision wielder?”

“yup,” you smiled at him as you showed him a necklace you were wearing where a y/v element appeared right in front of diluc’s eyes. he was astonished by your vision despite being a vision wielder himself. “beautiful…” he mutters. “well, i hope we’ll get along splendidly, miss y/n.”

“oh no need for the formalities, master diluc…! just call me y/n. that would be enough,” you told him, and he nods back in return. “u-huh. well then…y/n, it is an honor to meet you and have a nice conversation with me.”

“same here,” you said, and gave diluc a cherry smile. the conversation you both started went further until it was almost sunset, you and diluc were having so much fun talking about different topics, even often reading together in the afternoons while your parents continued to be toured around the dawn winery—diluc meanwhile, busy being with you <3 and when nightfall came, before you left to go back to fontaine, diluc waves farewell and thanked your parents for the visit in his house. “if you would care, i would like to see you again somehow…” diluc comments while you were preparing to leave his place. flustered, you looked back at him, “and i too will like to see you again…”

“would it be a bother if i would ask for you to come visit here again soon?” the winery tycoon questions, gloved hands ruffling the back of his neck in a nervous manner. you giggled, “why of course. my parents won’t mind.” you replied, and you swore you saw diluc’s eyes glitter before the both of you parted ways…

it was odd, since the next thing you knew you were going back to mondstadt after a week had passed…and this time your parents wanted to ask the young master of the dawn winery if he would be so kind to date you. bold move indeed, quite to quick you supposed.

you were freaking out. what if diluc was creeped out by your parents’ suggestion and decided not to talk to you ever again? oh boy you sure hoped that wouldn’t happen. “but mother…! don’t you think this is too quick paced…?!” you whined towards her whilst ignoring the butlers and maids bowing from the sides when you three walked to the dawn winery’s entrance. your mother looks at you, displeased by your reactions. “darling it wouldn’t hurt a fly, don’t worry…! besides, just by the look of your face you want him as well, don’t you?” she teases, and your face turns red. she wasn’t wrong though. in fact, you wouldn’t even mind marrying diluc as well. not like…you wanted that to happen of course.

as you stepped foot once again through the dawn winery’s doors, you were flustered enough to see diluc with another individual sitting across him from the dining table, having a small chatter together. rare blue hair and beautiful tanned complexion—with an eyepatch covering one of his eyes in the process. the moment the doors opened and made a loud creak, the two were fast enough to look to where the noise came from. “oh?” the blue haired male says, curiosity in his tone. diluc stood up, “mr. and mrs. l/n…! ehem…uh, i didn’t expect you guys to come again,” he exclaims. both of your parents chuckled, and said that it was alright.

after the introductions (and learning the new certain individual’s name was kaeya), your parents sat down on the table along with you to get straight to the point.

“if it were ok, i’d like you have a chance and date our daughter…!”

…

there was nothing but silence after that. diluc almost choked on his tea and kaeya hid his laughing face behind a nearby table handkerchief—you, of course weren’t allowed to say anything and keep quiet. after a moment of silence, diluc clears his throat yet kaeya interrupts. “why of course master diluc wouldn’t mind dating your daughter, mrs. l/n, in fact it would be such a delightful pleasure.”

“oh…! pardon me, are you trying to say our daughter needs to pass a few trials to have the young master diluc’s hand in dating?” your father exclaims, causing your face to curl in confusion. even diluc had the same expression. kaeya chuckles—but before diluc could even mutter a sentence, kaeya wraps his shoulder around his brother. “oh not at all, sir. but~ that sounds interesting…don’t you think so, master diluc?”

diluc shot his brother a cold glare, whispering; “what’re you trying to point here…?” kaeya smirks, his eyebrow cocking up, “don’t you think it would be interesting if there would be such a trial for the young lady over there to pass? i certainly think it might entertain you or two…” he murmurs to diluc. diluc turned away—automatically declining his brother’s request as he stands from his chair, “i am terribly sorry about kaeya, mrs. l/n but—

“we’ll see you tomorrow at starsnatch cliff, better make sure your daughter is ready for the trials since we’ll make sure to involve some few sparring enemies with us,” kaeya cuts diluc off and diluc looks at kaeya with complete shock. “what??!”

“oh! that sounds simple, our daughter practices sparring everyday in our household, isn’t that right, my dear?” your father confidently says, pumping his fists as he stares at you. your eyes sparkled, heart beating fast in excitement once you heard sparring was involved. finally, you weren’t only going to face some training dummies back at home. you were going to fight real opponents for real…! you nodded your head right over your father. “yes! that’s right..!” you happily answered.

diluc’s eyes widen in astonishment from your reply, eyebrows twitching in confusion while kaeya on the other hand tried his best to not burst out of laughter in the background. “i…i told you it’ll work…” kaeya stutters—hiding his laugh. diluc sighs, pushing his hair back whilst hiding his red face. oh archons, how far would this go?

he wouldn’t…think you would agree but—he also didn’t know that you were gladly agreeing with this stupid idea of his adopted brother. and that made him even more flustered than ever. who knows? maybe by the end of the day you would positively regret this idea.

***

oh lord barbatos.

they were not making humor when they claimed that you were going to show up to this trial. because you actually did show up—face all smiley and merry with your parents proudly standing behind you. kaeya greeted you and your family at the entry of the trials, and watched as the calvary captain of the knights of favonius guided you to the start. diluc was just standing in shock, also a bit irritated that some idiot would just share a dangerous idea to a distinguished clan from fontaine. and he’s pissed too at himself for just letting this plan slide.

“good luck, lady y/n. make sure you know what you’re doing if you want to have my dear bro’s hand to date,” sir kaeya cheered, sending you a small wink and a salute as he leaves you alone in your place. your parents both also bid you good luck to the trials and diluc…was just diluc. saying nothing.

as the trials start—diluc was about to head off to talk to kaeya and your parents to tell them that this was a terrible and dangerous idea, but as he saw the hilichurls along with a mitachurl run towards your direction he knew that he had to stop this soon. as he was about to call to kaeya, he heard a huge thud coming from your place and did diluc turn around to see you, all smiling while both hilichurls and the mitachurls jump back from the impact on your weapon. and then diluc remembered. that’s right, you have a vision. the one you showed him where you both just first met.

“impressive. just from the first strike she’s got them floating back,” kaeya laughs and winery tycoon ignores him. he’s mesmerized by the way you fight. one two three, not even one of them got to have a hand on you. four five six, you continued to knock them off one by one until none left were standing. you laughed, joyfully. was this…your fun?

as the last mitachurl was knocked down cold, diluc hears the small bell ring and you turned your head to look at him. diluc’s face turned as red as his hair. you beamed over at the male, “diluc!” you yelled. “i got’ em!” and you raised you weapon in the air—face panting and clothing dirty from the fighting.

diluc hides his face, obviously feeling bashful at your beautiful smile. kaeya pats his back, laughing once more. “she got all of them alright. make sure to take of the lady now, master diluc.”

the most successful winery tycoon ever in teyvat now in a relationship. ever wonder how this would go…

***

a/n: LATE POST LATE POST IM SO SO SORRY 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ at least this work was long :,D

requests are currently: closed :(

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #diluc fucking ragnvindr #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #lucy works 🍕💗#omfg i hate losing motivation

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pochipop · 2 years

Text

＃GENSHIN IMPACT !! ♡ — AN ODE TO BROKEN HEARTS & DANDELION WINE (DILUC X READER).

#. synopsis! — diluc has been disappearing into the shadows recently, coming back with bruises that he won't explain, and word of a red-haired fighter that hasn't lost a single match has set mondstadt on fire at night. along the border of liyue, an abandoned mine is said to house an underground fight ring when the sun sets. it all seems too outlandish to be true, —but you can't shake the feeling that something is devastatingly wrong here. diluc is being swept away. he's in over his head. he's drowning. he's spiraling, and he's getting everything he thinks he deserves. (underground-fighter!diluc au.)

#. characters! — diluc .

#. warnings! — violence, mild gore, angst .

#. word count! — 5.3k .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

The guilt builds, and builds, and builds with every step you take, and the chilling winds of Dragonspine seem to sweep down from the mountaintops just to serve as a bitter reminder that you’re being swallowed by feelings much larger than yourself. Diluc has never done you wrong, has never missed a date without being sure to reschedule for another time first. He’s never missed a birthday unless it were his own, he’s never forgotten your anniversaries, he’s never skimped on love to offer you. . . Yet here you are, taking baseless rumors to heart, trekking your way from Dawn Winery to the place where Dragonspine’s edges kiss at Liyue’s border.

Everything is far too outlandish to be true, but you keep putting one foot in front of the other, even as cold chills ripple across every inch of your skin. Maybe this is just what you deserve, because Diluc is probably home by now, wondering where you are, asking the lingering workers if they’ve seen you recently, —and you’re here, putting the spitten words of Mondstadt’s rumor mill above the man you’ve loved so dearly for years.

But you just can’t help it.

Things aren’t adding up anymore, and for the very first time, you’ve found yourself wondering if Diluc has been lying to you. And it hurts to think about, because you’ve never seen him in a dishonest light before now. In fact, he’s always been someone you would describe as brutally honest, maybe even to a painful fault. He’s not the type to sugarcoat his opinions, and though he might hide his feelings from the rest of the world, he’s long since allowed you to see the bulk of them.

He’s cried on your shoulder, has stripped himself bare for your eyes only, —has torn himself to shreds just so you could help him in the process of putting himself back together again. So why isn’t that enough to keep you glued to him? Why isn’t that enough to leave you lying in bed right now, waiting for him to come through the door? You don’t have a way of telling time to exacts now, but you can only imagine he’d be slipping under the covers with you by now on a regular night.

He’d be shirtless, and you’d snuggle into his chest. He’d press a long, drowsy kiss to the crown of your head, mumbling that same spiel about how you shouldn’t wait up for him, and then you’d finally fall asleep with his arms tight around you. But here you are instead, teeth a single digit temperature drop away from chattering, huddling into yourself in a futile attempt to stay warm under hefty moonlight.

You tell yourself that everything will be fine no matter the outcome, but doubts still plague your subconscious like a prowling lion, ready to pounce and devour. As you spot the opening of a long-abandoned mine shaft that sits on the cusp of Mondstadt and Liyue, a dark feeling thrums through your entire body. Its existence alone doesn’t prove anything at all, but your heart aches at the sight of it. Maybe its absence would be a much easier pill to swallow altogether.

Ducking your head below the rotting wood, you make your way through the opening. Lit torches guide your path through the musty tunnels, and the faint sounds of excitement grow louder as you draw nearer to a clearing. It takes no more than a second after you’ve slipped through for you to acknowledge that Diluc would fit in even less than you in such a place. People —mostly men— have gathered in a small mass here, some shouting profanities, and others encouraging the violence taking place at the heart of it all.

On the face of it, Mondstadt and Liyue are both peaceful nations. The typical citizens you meet from either city are sweet, and they’d give the very shirts off their backs to a stranger in need. It’s almost unthinkable that a place like this could thrive under the noses of authorities from both sides. But it’s wholly undeniable now that you’ve seen it with your own two eyes. You can’t brush its existence off as a baseless rumor anymore, because the base of it all is right in front of you. . . And so is Diluc.

His face is covered by a fatui-style mask, which makes all of this an even more difficult thing to process given the circumstances of his father’s untimely death, —but you know it’s him. You’d know him anywhere. You know the lines of the body that you’ve traced with your hands, your lips. . . You know him, and you don’t need to see his face to recognize him, even in this poor lighting.

His usual attire has been replaced by a shaggy, ill fitting shirt and a pair of equally ill-fitting shorts, and his hair is tied up in a high ponytail. In any other circumstance, it’s not hard to imagine yourself swooning over the look, but that’s a near impossible task as things stand now.

Diluc staggers back when his opponent lands a harsh blow along his jaw, regaining his composure quickly. He blocks the following strike with his forearm, —the one you’ve seen bruises on for weeks now, then lands a solid punch of his own. You’re not sure how, and maybe it’s just your imagination, but you swear you can hear the deafening crunch of bone as Diluc’s fist connects with the man’s face. There’s a pregnant pause, and your lover drops his arms to his sides at the first sight of blood.

You know nothing of the rules, or even if there are any official ones for all of this in the first place, —but you infer quickly enough that the first person to draw blood from their opponent is likely the winner. Maybe that’s what marks victory. You shudder at the thought. “Hit him again!” A drunken man shouts from the crowd.

A few muted yips of agreement can be heard throughout the group. Before you can fully wrap your mind around everything happening, the crowd begins to call out for further violence, albeit uncoordinatedly, even when the man slumps to his knees, nursing the nose on his face that’s gushing blood.

No, you think to yourself, he won't.

He wouldn’t.

“Kick him!” Someone shouts, though it takes you a minute to understand what they said through their drunken slurring.

“Stomp his face into the dirt!”

“Don’t be a coward! Get up and fight!”

“Stand up!” “Come on, fight!”

You’re starting to feel dizzy. There’s a deep, swirling pool of nausea gathering in the pit of your gut, and you worry that even the slightest movement will send you into a tailspin. The last thing you need here is to draw any unwanted attention to yourself. You’d much rather Diluc not see you, even if your previous guilt has all but melted away by now. . . You don’t want to see his eyes now. You fear his stare in this moment would burn itself permanently into your memory, and you’ve not had the time needed to steel yourself for something like that.

And the bitter truth of it all is that Diluc hates this just as much as you do.

He feels like anyone but himself here, and he wishes that were comforting, —but it’s not. It’s like he’s watching someone else use his body, someone that he’s never met and hopes never to at all. Diluc feels like he’s lost himself in the sea fog. He’s been swept away by the pain, by the ache of his bruised ribs and the throbbing of his dying heart. He’s running on pure, unadulterated adrenaline, and he knows that it’ll be his downfall eventually.

He’ll have to go back home and see you waiting up for him in bed, just as you always do. At this rate, he knows he’ll crash soon. There’s no way to avoid it as far as he can tell, —but he can’t seem to stop himself. Maybe this is what it feels like to be addicted to something, Diluc ponders. It’s fitting for him, he thinks. He’s often left violence in his wake. This is nothing different.

The pain in his knuckles has soothed to a dull ache by now, and he gestures for another opponent as the previous one staggers away, blood covering his hands. Nobody moves to help him. It’s like now that he can’t offer entertainment to anyone, he’s been thrown away, deemed useless by the whole of the crowd.

As you lose him amongst the moving group, another man steps forward, challenging Diluc to a fight. He’s taller, likely stronger judging by the bulk of his arms, yet your lover gives a plain nod of approval anyway. The first strike isn’t Diluc’s, although it doubles him over for a second. Your teeth clench hard enough for your jaw to hurt as you stare. It’s like you’re watching a bomb go off on an unsuspecting city, —no matter how horrible it makes you feel inside, you can’t bring yourself to look away. Tears prick at your eyes before you can even register that you’re crying.

You’ve seen Diluc fight with a sword, with his vision, a million times over you’re sure; but this is a uniquely horrible thing in your eyes. Seeing raw blows hit him at such close range, and having seen the fallout that litters his skin after all of this is said and done, you’re reeling with every punch he takes and every strike he deals out. You know he’s willingly put himself in this position, but a part of you still wishes you could take his place.

Diluc can feel his insides twisting tighter each time his closed fist connects with open skin. That distinct sound of flesh being hit at full force. . . He knows it too well. It haunts him in a way no other bad deed ever has. He hears it just before he sleeps at night, —then again in his dreams, and sometimes, it's louder than your breathing.

"Get him, boss!"

A grunt resonates from the back of the man's throat. Diluc knows him, —has seen him here before, has watched him fight, and knows exactly what he's capable of. He also knows that he often fights dirty; blades hidden up his sleeves that he shimmies down to his hands, locking them between his fingers. One punch from a hand with a sharp weapon slit between his digits and more than the fight could be over. . .

On the defensive now, Diluc peels himself away swiftly, looking for any metallic glints. The lit torches do little to help, especially as shadows are cast all around them by moving strangers pushing in closer. They want to see this as close up as possible, like vultures feeding off the dead. They make Diluc feel sick, —make him hate what he's doing even more than he already does. He can't understand why he finds himself here so frequently, as if a little mortal punishment will make up for all the sins he's committed.

For whatever reason, be it pride, guilt, or something in between, Diluc can't bring himself to walk away from this. Everytime he comes in here, he swears it'll be the last, and yet he comes crawling back as soon as the previous bruises turn from deep purples to sickly yellows.

He throws a heavy punch and lands right on the money, knuckles clashing against his opponent's jaw. Head thrown back for a second, the man's face twists in anger, and when he launches himself forward, Diluc narrowly escapes his clutches. If he pins him to the ground, it's likely over. Diluc is strong, but this man weighs much more than he does based on height alone, not to mention the muscle he's lugging around. In a fair fight, Diluc stands a chance, albeit a slim one. On the ground, unable to move away, at the complete mercy of a maniac who's left stab wounds on many of his challengers, —that slim chance dwindles to nothing. He'd be lucky to get out of that situation alive, nonetheless victorious.

The man curses, clearly agitated by Diluc's close-combat skills. He might just be the only opponent that's given this sick freak a genuine run for his money. Unlike Diluc, however, he's not fighting to work out inner turmoil, to soothe deep seated woes. Instead, he fights because he likes to hurt others with his two bare hands, —and authorities don't take kindly to that outside. Here, however, there's so many people breaking laws that his own indiscretions can be swept under the rug.

When someone gets upset, they often get sloppy. Diluc takes advantage of that. He moves faster than before, willing his pain riddled body to move skillfully along the dirt. He knows there's a blade tucked between his opponent's fingers now, though he's unsure as to what hand it's in. He'll have to make a guess.

Most of his punches have been thrown toward my left, Diluc reasons. He seems to aim for the same side his blow comes from. He's facing me now, which means my left is his right, —and his right hand is likely his dominant one. Wielding a blade takes at least a bit of precision, especially if it's hidden between the fingers.

Diluc moves just in time to avoid a right hook to the temple. For the briefest moment, he catches sight of the weapon that could have ended his life had that punch landed the way it was intended to. With all these people crowding around, there's no way to escape effectively, so the only thing Diluc can do is fight through it and hope to survive.

Right hand for certain, he acknowledges. Now all I have to do is fake him out somehow. Get him to drop the blade, aim lower, —something. Anything.

He steps back, putting distance between them. The man swipes for him instead of punching, and misses by a solid few inches. It's clear he's letting his emotions get the better of him. Diluc knows he'll have to use that to his advantage, and he'll have to think fast about it. A few seconds difference here will be the towing line between coming out of this alive and rotting into the dirt.

It's not the time to be distracted, but he thinks of all the people he's yet to make things right with. Kaeya, who he hasn't spoken genuinely with in years. Jean, who he's spoken to since their falling out, but hasn't truly mended his relationship with. Lisa, who puts on fake smiles around him for the sake of being corgel. Barbara, who heard him yell at her big sister on that fateful day that feels so long ago now. Rosaria, who's likely heard about it all from Kaeya on drunken nights at the tavern. And Diluc knows he has no one to blame but himself.

Then there's you, —the sun he's revolved around for far too long now, feeding off your warmth like a flower to sunlight. There's so many things he needs to apologize for, so many I love yous that he's yet to say in this lifetime.

It can't end here. Not like this.

He keeps the distance between them on purpose, circling his way around his opponent. There's a pattern to his movements that the man acknowledges quickly, —just as Diluc intended. This might be a longshot, but it's the best one he has. At the very last second, Diluc changes position. The man aims lower as a result, leaving an open slit along Diluc's side.

But it's too late. The shadows conceal the blood on the redhead's lower half, but nothing can hide the way the man falls to his ass when Diluc slugs him with the entirety of his strength. This time, the crunch of bone is not just your imagination. Diluc doesn't stop this time. He uses his boot to smash the man's face into the dirt, before stomping on his hand. It opens reflexively, the blade falling out onto the ground. The edge is smothered in drops of Diluc's blood. He throws the small knife away, letting it land in one of the many pitch black, branching tunnels connected to the clearing. It'll be an absolute bitch to find.

When your lover begins to scan the crowd with those crimson eyes, you press yourself into the shadows, just hoping it's enough. His gaze doesn't linger on you. Your heart pangs hard against your rib cage when he pushes his way through the crowd, passing you by without a clue as he makes a break for the exit. He doesn't know you've been there for far too long, —that you've seen more than you'd ever care to relive. Another fight breaks out in a matter of seconds, like these people haven't been scarred by any of this. They're so desensitized to it that it feels maddening.

You trail out behind Diluc, but by the time the chilling winds of Dragonspine hit your skin again, he's nowhere to be seen. However, the first man he fought sits beside the rotting wood of the entrance, head pressed against the rocks of the mountainside. Blood is smeared along the space between his nose and upper lip and his eyes are closed, but you know he's not asleep or passed out. You take a seat beside him without asking for permission.

"Are you okay?" You ask, though the answer is pretty obvious by the bruises on his cheeks and the dry blood on his face.

He looks at you through a peeked eye, then chuckles, —more so at himself than at you.

"Peachy," he replies.

His voice is gruff and laced with the ache he's feeling in every part of his body.

"Here," you dig in your pockets, pulling out the handkerchief you carry with you.

Usually, it's offered to one of the maids that clean up around Dawn Winery, but this seems like an exception that can be made. He shakes his head.

"No need," he mumbles, "but thanks."

You don't press it.

“That red haired fighter,” you say instead, “does he come here often?”

The man gives you a strange look, but answers anyway.

“Often enough,” he shrugs.

You’re not sure what that really means, but you can infer enough from it to refrain from asking him to elaborate. Treading lightly, you venture on.

“What’s. . . The point of all this?” You inquire.

“The point?” He parrots.

“Yeah, like, why do this at all? What’s the point of coming here and hurting people, —hurting yourself? Isn’t it a bit counter-intuitive?”

His silence worries you for a second or two. Upsetting an injured person is the last thing you’d want to do, but your filter isn’t on very tight tonight, for better or worse. Thankfully, he laughs.

“Yeah, probably,” he agrees, “but everyone has their reasons. A lot of the guys in there fight because they don’t know what else to do with their feelings. They think bottling them up and then taking them out here is the easiest way to get rid of them.”

That doesn’t really sound like something Diluc would do or a thought process he would buy into, but then again, you wouldn’t have expected to find him here in the first place. Tonight has left you wondering if you really know Diluc at all.

“As for me, well. . . I suppose I just like the rush,” the man finishes.

“And you couldn’t get that rush anywhere else?” You reply.

“It’d be harder to find.”

You can’t really argue with that one. Though you suspect other things are at play, you don't feel you're really at liberty to ask. He's already been clobbered tonight, and you won't be the one to kick him when he's down. You sit beside him in silence for a bit, lost in thought, much as he. It's hard to imagine that Diluc would do something like this just to get a rush out of it. He's never expressed any desire for that to you, and you've known him for years. . . But you're doubting your intuition about him now in a way you never have before. You fear you might never be able to look at him the same.

"That redhead," the man speaks, pulling you from your thoughts, "is he a friend of yours?"

"Ah. . . Yeah, something like that," you reply.

"Well, if you care about him, you should tell him to stay away from here. Whatever he's looking for, he won't find it. Not this way."

He sounds like he's speaking from bitter experiences. You nod slowly.

"I. . . I will," you say, pulling yourself to your feet. "Thank you for your time."

You begin the journey back to Dawn Winery, —but you leave the handkerchief there for him, just in case.

You manage to get back before Diluc, despite him having left first. You assume he's off somewhere nursing his wounds, attempting to hide them before he comes home to you. . . That way, you won't ask questions, and he won't have to answer them. You sit outside for a while, waiting for something, —anything. How do you deal with this situation? How do you bring it up? And just what is Diluc seeking refuge from in violence?

What pain is he numbing with that of another?

“What’re you doing out here, love?” He asks upon arrival.

You feel yourself bristle at the sound of his voice for the very first time in your life. You want to say ‘What were you doing in a place like that, fighting strangers for the hell of it?’ but you swallow those words down for the time being. If anything you learned from that man was true in Diluc’s case, you were sitting next to a very fragile soul, maybe so fragile that it was just a whisker of wind away from shattering.

“It’s late,” Diluc notes. “And it’s chilly.”

A cool breeze drifts by, and your fingers curl around his jacket protectively.

“Just thinking,” you say softly, “I couldn’t sleep.”

Not that you tried.

“Anything I can do for you?” He asks, slipping an arm around your shoulders casually.

You steal a peek at his face to see if he’s grimacing, knowing his arms took a beating that night. He stares down at you with a loving expression, that same glint in his eyes. . . You almost feel guilty for everything that’s happened tonight.

“Maybe a massage would help,” he mumbles, resting his chin atop the crown of your head, —the same crown he should have been kissing hours ago while pulling you in for a restful night.

A part of you wants to pretend that none of this ever happened. Maybe it would be easier to ignore the problem and wait for it to just go away. Diluc can’t possibly think that what he’s doing is going to act as long-term management for. . . Whatever it is that he’s cowering away from, right? Everything will have to burn down in flames eventually.

“That’s okay,” you tell him, “but thank you.”

He hums in acknowledgement.

In the moonlight, you can see blood glistening on the leather of his boots. It churns your stomach.

"You're shivering," he says.

"We should go inside and get warmed up. I'll make you something warm to drink."

You don't follow suit when he stands.

"Y/n?"

"You smell different," you whisper.

"I spent the morning gathering and chopping sunsettias," he notes, "so if you think the sweet smell is a woman's, that's—"

"You don't smell sweet," you interrupt, "you smell like blood."

And maybe he doesn't, in all actuality, but you're gagging on it. It's flowing through all your senses, so it might as well be reality. You can almost taste it.

"I don't understand," he tells you.

But you know he does. He's lying, —he's been lying, and you have to cope with that while treading lightly around his tender spots, both emotionally and physically. You can't love this away. Loving him won't fix the broken pieces inside him. You can't hold him and meld him together like warming candle wax. You can't be the adhesive that sticks all his shattered bits back together to make him whole again.

You can't kiss the rot from his insides.

"What are you fighting for?" You question. "Your body's at its limit, and I can see that whether you want me to or not. I feel the way you grimace, even if your face doesn't show it. The signs have been here for weeks, but I didn’t want to believe it could be true. . . I didn’t want to think you’d be someone who’d hurt others and let other people hurt you for the hell of it.”

He says nothing.

“Tell me why,” you beg, voice nearly catching in your throat. You swallow a sob. “I love you. I’ll go to the ends of Teyvat for you if that’s what it takes, —just tell me why. Let me in. Let me help. Please, Diluc.”

He can’t seem to meet your eyes. Shame crackles in every vein, all his nerves alight with remorse. He hates what he’s done to himself, what he’s done to you. . . Diluc wishes that the earth beneath his feet would swallow him whole.

“I feel like I deserve it.”

He means that now more than ever.

Your blood runs cold. Out of all the things he could have said, that one took you by surprise more so than you ever could have anticipated.

“. . . What?” Is the only reply you can muster up effectively.

“I deserve it,” he says, more certainly this time. “I deserve to feel like this, because I’ve left nothing but despair in my wake for years now. Every time I find myself at rock bottom, I drag others down with me. I did it to Kaeya so many times that we’re practically strangers now. It feels like we were only brothers in another lifetime. I’ve taken things out on Jean and the Knights of Favonius. . . I’m sure she hates me, her and Lisa both, and I don’t blame them. If I were them, I’d hate me too.”

I’m not them, and I hate me anyway.

“Diluc, that’s. . . That’s not. . .” You try, but words fail you.

“And you. I chained myself to you so tightly because I thought loving you would fix me. I thought that whatever it is inside you that makes you so good would rub off on me somehow, —that I’d be a better person for having just loved you until the sun died or something. It's selfish, I know, but I thought maybe. . . If I could have you all to myself, if I could just melt into you sometimes, sleep inside your heart. . . Maybe I wouldn't be so bad anymore. For you, and everyone else I've pushed away to the edge."

“Stop,” you whisper, but the words don’t seem to reach him.

“This is the least I can do,” he says, hands balling into fists so tight that his fingernails leave crescent shapes along the skin of his palms. “I deserve to have every bone in my body crushed under the pressure of the guilt, obliterated to the point of no return. My father should be here right now, —and Kaeya should be my brother. They should both love you as much as I do, and we should be happier. I should be a knight, taking pressure off Jean, easing Lisa’s worries and giving Barbara time with her sister. Rosaria shouldn’t know more about Kaeya’s life than I do, and Klee shouldn’t think of me as an angry person. But what else can anyone see?”

“Stop,” you repeat, harsher this time, grabbing at the sleeve of his jacket.

His face is stained with tears.

“I don’t deserve to cry over this,” he states, voice uneven, “I brought it all on myself. I pushed everyone away, broke my own spirit, and then got mad at the rest of the world for it. But I don’t hate the Knights of Favonius. I don’t hate Kaeya, I don’t hate the Fatui, I don’t. . . I don’t hate anyone but myself.”

“Stop.”

Finally, he does, and you cup his cheeks. You’re on the brink of tears, fighting them back as you wipe his away.

“You can feel however you need,” you tell him, “but you should at least have both sides of the story.”

“Kaeya drops by often when he knows you’re not around. He buys wine whenever he gets the chance. I can’t count how many bottles he’s purchased under false names. And when he comes around, he never fails to ask me how you’ve been. Sometimes, he tells me stories that you don’t know I know. Like the time when you and he climbed that tree over there,” you point, “despite your father scolding you for it a thousand times. You fell, and it might have been worse if Kaeya didn’t soften the landing. After that, neither of you got near that tree again until you were teenagers.”

“That’s not true,” Diluc says.

“It is true,” you insist, “and you might not realize it, —but Kaeya thinks of you often, because he still sees you as his big brother. And he loves you, if only from afar for now.”

“No,” the redhead sniffles, “not that. I believe that’s true. But Kaeya and I climbed that tree the next day.”

He laughs, and it soothes parts of your soul that you never knew existed.

“Jean told me last summer that Kaeya has a drawer full of letters addressed to you in his office,” you say. “She didn’t read them, so she doesn’t know what they say completely, but she says they always start off with ‘I miss you.’”

Diluc sinks his teeth into his bottom lip to stop it from quivering. Your hands move from his cheeks to his shoulders, touching gently. You don’t know the extent of his injuries under the clothing he wears.

“Jean also asks about you every time I see her,” you tell him. “I didn’t know if you’d want to know any of this, so I kept it to myself, but maybe that was the wrong choice, and I’m sorry. I wish I’d told you everything right from the start.”

But he knows that’s hardly your blame to shoulder. He knows he hasn’t made himself an open book, ready and willing to talk about his past at your leisure, —and he might never be that person. And that’s okay.

“She worries for you, even if she doesn’t show it. Jean’s the type of woman that would work herself to the bone no matter what position she’s in, so with or without you, she’d push herself to the brink. Barbara worries as well, not just about her sister, but about you and everyone else in Mondstadt. She doesn’t hold a grudge for the moments of anger you had in grief. She understands what it’s like to lose people.”

You match the curve of your hand to the side of his neck. Diluc looks you in the eyes, blinking as his tears fall silently. He’s beautiful, even now.

“Rosaria’s heard a lot,” you admit, “most of it about Kaeya’s guilt. And Klee only thinks you’re angry because you don’t smile often anymore. She’s too young to realize that sometimes, being happy isn’t the default state. She’s young and innocent, and she’s been shielded from the hardships of the world because that’s what children deserve. But you don’t have to be happy all the time, —that’s not what anyone needs. You can feel the way you feel, but don’t assume the intentions of others. You’ll just make yourself miserable.”

Diluc doesn’t know what to say, so he says nothing at all. Instead, he lets your words sink in.

You could go on and say a million things about how he could cut you open and take refuge inside you, but really, you think he already knows as much. You can’t fix this for him, and there’s a possibility that you can’t even begin to make it better. . . Not that it’ll stop you from trying.

“I love you,” you tell him in earnest. “Now please come inside and let me take care of you.”

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