#dilf kirishima

[unknownmads]

thinking about dilf kiri😋😋

dilf kiri who’s officially hit his fourties face scruffy, body squishy, full of scars and stretch marks from years of being japan’s shield, and dark roots grown out from growing tired of redying it.

dilf kiri who hasn’t dated since his ex wife, divorcing because being a hero took too much time. Whose two girls adore him but their distance growing as they too age.

dilf kiri who is clearly too old for you but can’t help your attraction to him. having just started working at the cafe/ restaurant your friend owned near the red riots’s agency and lucky you did. you immediately recognized the big man, even with his hair grown out black overtaking his old red, face and arms littered with scars, bulkier with his age, out of his hero suit in something seemingly more comfortable, but same bright smile, red eyes, and same warms aura surrounding him.

dilf kiri who comes in with some of his buddies preaching about how much he loves this place. saying no other cafe compares with the atmosphere, drink, and treats. his friends making comments saying no wonder he’s gotten bulkier if he’s going here so often. you didn’t know he goes here often otherwise you would’ve started here MUCH sooner.

dilf kiri who comes up to order asking for a simple latte and croissant breakfast sandwich, your eyes taking in as much of him as you can before it’s his friends turns to order. one blonde with a black streak ordering a small box of treats and tea. The other blonde ordering a latte as well asking for extra expresso and a breakfast sandwich of his own. before heading back to his table takes a long gaze at you before smiling his signature smile “hey your new here aren’t you? i don’t think i’ve seen you working before!” you almost collapse from excitement from his very simple comment.

“Yea i just started today! hopefully you’ll be seeing more of me here!” you try to reply matching his cheer you see his smile grow a tad more if that’s even possible.

“yea i hope so!” he replies warmly before turning tail catching up with his friends at their table. Getting started on their drinks you drink in his body as he’s walk back to their table.

dilf kiri who blushes a little when his friends tell him how the cashier was checking him out, and most definitely flirting with him. of course he’s denying such a think with a “she was just being friendly and doing her job it wasn’t that.” swatting away his friends words with a grin but almost letting his mind wander.

dilf kiri who looks back over the counter checking you out with his friends thoughts in his head. you weren’t really checking him out right?? you wouldn’t flirt with him he’s probably close to double your age. right? who blushes even more so when you turn around locking eyes you smiling at him brightly from across the cafe.

dilf kiri who tried to compose himself when he sees you come over with their food and drinks, warning them while eyeing him personally to be careful of the hot drinks.

“so will that be all for you guys?” you try to gaze around the table but your eyes almost like magnets go back to the large man in front of you.

“yea that’ll be all thank you sweetheart” he replies for the table seeing his friends almost shoving him to take the shot with their eyes.

“alright i’ll be right back with your check will you pay all together?” cheeks clearly growing red form the nickname he threw in. this time trying to ensuring you look at all three men before the two blondes stare knives at their darker haired friend.

“nah i uh i got it covered, we’ll only be needing one check.” he checks with his friends before replying to you eyes locking with yours once more.

not breaking the eye contact “alright then i’ll be right back with your check” you smile brightly again keeping his gaze for as long as possible before breaking it when you walk too far to maintain it longer.

dilf kiri who’s cheeks redden when denki talks not so quietly about how he should ask out the server. trying to shush the friends as he continues about how she’s “Totally into you and you gotta take the shot!” you stifle your laughter when overhearing the conversation.

Dilf kiri who couldn’t bring himself to ask out you when you bring over the check but is left shocked and blushing when he opens it seeing you gave him a slight discount. he chuckles at the small gesture signing the check and writing something else before hurriedly scribbling it out then, handing the check back with his card inside. your face almost bright red feeling almost too forward with your gesture.

Dilf kiri who’s equally a mess hoping his gesture wasn’t too much or taking your signs wrong. Seeing that he hadn’t taken them wrong at all when he received his receipt seeing your number scribbled on it with your name under the digits. you quickly try to push out a “let me know if you boys need anything else!” before practically running back behind the counter.

dilf kiri who tells his friends to go ahead of him when they finish up their drinks and treats. telling them he’ll catch up in a minute as he heads to the counter.

“y/n.” your head spins around hearing your names seeing the tall man waiting at the counter for you.

“yes kirishima!” you quickly respond spinning around quickly to lock eyes with his almost spilling your drink in the process. his big hands reaching out to your arm to help balance you. blush growing in your face from his touch and realizing you outed that you knew him. “i’m so sor-“ you were cut off by his speaking before you could finish

“no it’s okay sweetheart, you okay?” he says referring to the almost spill which you quickly respond yes before he continues “well i’m glad you know my name, i actually just when i came to tell you. i’ll be sure to text you k?” soaring off his new found confidence given so graciously by you just from your reactions. you nod excitedly a soft smile on your lips confirming you heard him. He’s smiling brightly and heading out the door with a quick “see you soon!” but not before staring you down taking you in one last time before heading to catch up with his friends.

Dilf kiri who shoots you a text as soon as he leaves your cafe *hey it’s kirishima, when are you off so i can take you out?* you giggle like a school girl borderline like a maniac when reading the text practically feeling like you could fly.

✩✩✩

lmk what yall think i need lots of feedback so i know how to improve and better!!! HOPE YOU GUSY ENJOY!! IM GONNA DO MORE PRISON TOJI NEXT :3

[ryder-writes]

A Morning with Dilf!Kiri Fluff

A/n: Dilf!Kiri lives in my mind rent free

"Eijiroooo, stay home pleaseee." You begged.

"Hun, you know I have to get ready." 

"Just call out sick." You pouted. 

"We both know I can't just call out sick for no reason." 

"Make up a reason." You mumble, shoving your head into his chest. You could feel it bounce as he laughed. He slowly sat up, brining you with him. You tried to push him back down, but to no avail. The blame was put on him, as Eijiro was huge. Not in a sexual way, he was just… big. He was 6'7, his body made bigger by the muscles and fat gathered after years of hero work. There were many scars scattered throughout his body, the stories of how he got them shared to you as your relationship grew. His large calloused hands, always warm and comforting. And his face- you swore he had the face of a god, black facial hair enunciating his smile lines. Half-red hair surrounded his face, his roots grown out a lot since he stopped dying it months ago. He thought he was out of his prime; you begged to differ. 

"C'mon, love." He urged, placing a kiss to your shoulder. You grumbled. You felt his hands grab your thighs and move them to straddle his waist. He then moved his hands under your ass, lifting you up as he stood up. You grabbed onto his neck in surprise for support. "Don't worry, I won't drop ya." He smirked.

He brought you into the bathroom, sitting you down on the counter. He kissed your nose before leaning behind you and grabbing his toothpaste. He grabbed his toothbrush and started brushing his teeth. While you loved watching your husband do domestic things, you got bored rather quickly. So you decided to grab his left hand. You started to play with his fingers, tracing the scars on his hand. He looked down at you and smiled (well, as much as he could with a toothbrush in his mouth). You looked so cute, entranced by his hands. Hands that are covered in scars and memories of pain. But you didn't care. You never did.

Eijiro had stopped brushing, his lovesick glare never leaving the sight in front of him. You couldn't hear him brushing his teeth anymore so you looked up. You met his gaze. Red eyes soft and gentle. He leaned down and spit out the toothpaste before grabbing your face and kissing your lips, making you giggle.

"E-Ei, stop! There's still toothpaste on your m-mouth!" You laughed between kisses, trying to move his face away. 

Masterlist :]

[roxy-writes]

dilf!kirishima x fem!reader , maybe they go shoppin together n things get freaky in the dressing room 👀

—🪬

OK DILF KIRI HAS ME GENUINELY ACTING UP-

warnings: public sex kinda, not proofread

he'd always be so nice to you. it's just how he is. but you noticed often how his niceness towards you had subtle sexual undertones that most others wouldn't pick up on. the way his hand would brush against you while he was talking to you. the way eye contact with him always had you breaking away within a few seconds because of the intensity. most people would just think he knew you super well, and it was that, but you knew better than to think there wasn't anything else going on.

he was a bit older than you, not very much, but enough for there to be a difference in where you were in life. he was particularly financially stable, which often paid off for you. shopping with him was always a huge thing. he'd pick out tons of skimpy clothing for you, hoping you'd at least try them on for him. the outfit he held up in front of you now really caught your eye, it looked perfect for you. exactly your style and size. you wondered how he caught these details about you, you'd never told him what size clothes you were.

in the dressing room he watches as you put the outfit on with lust-filled eyes. he was clearly imagining tearing it off you and fucking you in the dressing room. you wouldn't really be opposed to it. as you show off how the clothes fit you, your eyes focus on a slight bulge in his pants. he chuckles as he begins to unashamedly palm himself in front of you. sitting down on the bend, he motions for you to come sit on his lap. he slowly grinds you against his bulge before stripping you of the outfit.

momentarily activating his quirk, he shreds your panties. he'll just buy you some new ones later anyway. admiring your pussy, his thumb circles your clit. however, he's impatient, and he quickly slips 2 digits inside your hole to prepare you for his cock.

after you're all ready for him, he removes his pants and boxers to reveal his rock-hard dick. the tip is drooling with precum. you're impatient too, and you lift yourself up as the tip pushes slowly into you. you moan into his shoulder, hot pleasure spreading through you.

as he bottoms out, you both groan. his hips start bucking up into yours and his tip brushes your cervix. you almost forget, for a few seconds, that you're in the changing room with him. everything melts away until all you feel is him inside you. he picks up the pace and his balls smack against your ass. one of his hands leaves your hip to rub figure eights on your clit with precision.

"fuck." you cry out, hoping no one heard you. his pubes brush against your sensitive clit. your orgasm hits you like a truck, the sweet relief causing you to collapse against his chest. he keeps fucking up into you, the sensitivity making you tremble. with one more squeeze of your pussy around his shaft he cums hard inside you. the feeling of being full has you reeling. "we're definitely gonna buy that outfit." he pants out. "yeah." you reply.

[angel-sweets666]

Kirishima as a daddy headcannons

Aged up eijiro kirishima x afab reader

warning: mention of pregnancy, female bodied person but not a lot of gender mentions, mentions of breeding kinks (1 time) SIDS mention (I’m sorry to all people who have lost their babies to SIDS, your all strong and I’m proud of you x)

• kirishima was literally jumping up and down in excitement when you told him you were pregnant

“IM GONNA BE A DAD!”

while pregnant he does not let you just walk around, he barely lets you lift a finger. He doesn’t want his precious partner gettubg hurt! Especially while carrying his baby

After this kid his breeding kink goes through the roof and you have about 3 more children after your first baby

He holds your hand when you find out the gender, patiently watching.

“ITS A GIRL! I’m gonna be a good girl dad I promise… I love you so much” he says as he kisses your cheek then belly

the most supportive man during birth, he may not know what he’s talking about but he certainly tries.

he holds your hand and kisses your forehead “cmon baby you can do I I know you can, your so strong mama…”

he calls you manly after giving birth

as you take the baby home he constantly looks behind in the back to check if the babies breathing

“whatttt I’m just worried!”

this includes checking at night, has an alarm for every 2 hours to give her a bottle and make sure she’s alive.

terrified of SIDS, that’s why he checks all the time.

Became a stronger hero just so he knows he’s coming home to his spouse and child every day.

cried when the baby learned to crawl, like man sobbed in the corner because his baby was growing up.

takes her to work and shows her off “this is my little girl!”

Helps her learn to walk by holding her little hands up and waddling behind her with a big toothy grin

panicked when your babies teeth came in sharp, kirishima passed his shark teeth to all 4 of your kids.

such a girl dad, will literally have tea parties with your daughter in a pink tutu

uncle bakugo, Denki and sero all come around for tea parties too.

you and Mina just watch from afar as 4 big men known for being strong hero’s play with plastic teacups with a 3 year old little girl 5 times smaller then them.

cried at her first day of kindergarten, his poor baby can’t go to school! What if she trips!? What if she gets bullied!

you had to calm him in the car because he was borderline sobbing

Aunty and uncle stuff

uncle Denki bursts in with his own hero merch to give the baby, which you did Infact put on the baby. Denki ends up helping your daughter become the most annoying little shit when she became a young kid “go hide daddies hair gel, trust me little dude”

Uncle bakugo secretly loves that baby to bits, pats kirishimas shoulder in like a “good job bro I’m proud of you.” Kinda way (whrn the baby grows up he teaches your daughter how to fight)

aunty Mina literally cries by the foot of your bed because the baby was just so cute in her eyes, she teaches your daughter how to deal with men. She came in CLUTCH when your daughters first breakup happens

uncle sero was late, he was busy dealing with villains. He literally stumbled in panting and panicked “IM HERE. IM HERE! WHERES THE BABY?!” He was afraid he’d drop it so he wrapped her in tape which you later had to cut off your baby. The kinda uncle to give your daughter weed for her 16th birthday.

[gfguren]

pro hero!kirishima x reader | angst?, fluff, childhood friends→lovers, best friend!kiri my beloved, 2.8k (apparently??) | cw: cursing, reader wears a dress

-eighteen, and heartbroken, you ghost your best friend. years pass, as do old feelings; coincidence brings you back together again-

They say old habits die hard, your heartbeat rings true.

It's been years—six, at least. Since you've seen Kirishima. And he's still there, in the library of things you've loved, thumbed and beloved, worn at the spine where you once folded the pages, one over the other, carelessly. Always carelessly. As if they'd stay the same through all the wear and tear. You were—careless—after all, eighteen, and foolish, feelings too big for your heart.

But that was okay. It always was, with him. Wherever you wanted to go, whatever you wanted to do. He was happy as long as you were—and so, so good to you; it was childish of you, but you almost wished that he wasn't.

Maybe it was some kind of teenage rebellion that you pushed it too far. Some kind of lashing out, 'getting even', that you kissed other boys, pretended be head over heels in love with anyone, everyone, but Kirishima. Because you did—love him—and not in the way he loved you, you were sure.

Because if he had—really had—he would have hesitated, would have hurt. Wouldn't have vetted your dresses, or wiped the smudge from beneath your eyes. Wouldn't have told you how pretty you looked without really looking at you at all. Wouldn't have drove you to meet other boys, or dried your tears when they made you cry, like all of your other friends did. The kinds you didn't want to kiss. The kinds you imagined a future with, but not with kids and a dog and a white picket fence.

It was obvious for you, came natural as breathing, you'd known him your whole life. Skinned knees, and awkward school dances. Your very first kiss, though it meant nothing at the time. Just kids—curious, and reckless, and definitely not in love. You thought it'd be like that forever, made sense that he'd always be at your side; maybe that's why it hurt the way it did when, suddenly, he just wasn't.

That awkward boy—indecisive and boisterous, good natured and yours—Kirishima. Eijirou. Who earned his first bloody nose at the age of ten, defending your honor over something juvenile and stupid, who walked you home every day after school, hand in yours, always; (for safety, of course), who left half of his belongings on your bedroom floor, in your closet, atop your dresser—hoodies and gadgets and pens, chewed at the cap. That Eijirou—your Eijirou—would always, surely, make his way back to you, right?

But he doesn't.

When summer ends, he leaves—your school, the little town you both grew up in,

—and you.

To do something good, to be something more. And he was. And you were proud of him, so proud, to see him grow and become the hero he always dreamed of being. But maybe that scared you too, because suddenly your Eijirou didn't feel so much like yours anymore.

He's gone with hardly a notice, returns with all the confidence in the world—a completely new person in a matter of months. Red hair and a smile like summertime sunshine; your heart skips, cheeks flush, a name is put to the feelings you've felt for as long as you can remember, for the very first time.

But nothing's changed, not for Eijirou, at least, who still spends his vacations beneath your parents' roof, within the four borders of your bedroom, crisscrossed legs and laughter that sounds just like it always has. But it hits you—when he speaks—how much things have changed for you. The stories he tells, the friends he's made and the things he's experienced. They're his. Just his.

And it shouldn't bother you. That you don't know the name of his homeroom teacher, or what he packed for lunch last week. That he doesn't know about all the evenings you've spent alone, or how you broke into tears when that cute senior boy asked you to the yearly formal, because Eijirou had promised—pinky promised—all those years ago, that he'd be the one to take you.

But that was before he had training, and internships, and hero obligations; things far, far more important than you were, you suppose.

But it shouldn't bother you, right? Shouldn't hurt the way it does when he packs his things from your room at the end of summer. You lose him bit by bit; pens and gadgets, and comic books you bought for him every single birthday, without missing a year. He takes your ("his") very favorite hoodie—red and worn at the cuffs, a tear up the side where you wrestled him to the ground, at age twelve. Some petty fight you don't even remember, and how you didn't speak to him for a week; that felt like a lifetime, then.

You've half a mind to ask for it, know for sure he'd offer it happily, though you're not sure you have that right anymore. You no longer share his life, after all, and he doesn't share yours; it's not until you're older, much older that you realize just how hard he tried to make it work anyway.

The weekly calls and the long drives back home to just see you for a month, a week, a day. How he gets his license, at eighteen. Rushes home from an internship to drive you to the little ice cream parlor at the edge of town.

You're crying, over a boy—though your heart wasn't really in it. How could it be, when it's been checked out since the age of six? When the more years that pass, the more you fall for your very best friend, the stronger his absence becomes, the more bitter your heart grows. You're crying, over a boy—but not the one who stood you up.

You're just, frustrated, that he's oblivious to it all. Still. And so damn nice about it—always. That's he's perfectly content to dry your tears, has the audacity to tell you that guy was an idiot, totally unmanly, that 'any man would be lucky to have you'.

But not Eijirou. Never Eijirou.

And for the first time, you think you hate him. For missing the hearts in your eyes, and growing up just fine, without you. For talking like it's totally fine if you end up with someone that isn't him. And vice versa.

That he reaches for your hand on the way back to his car, like you're still just kids, and it means nothing at all.

—and that you let him; as if it means nothing to you either.

But fuck, it does. Always has. And maybe that's why you justify it, when you disappear after graduation—a new phone and town, and a future that doesn't include Eijirou. Kirishima. The way you're convinced he wanted; he's always been fine without you, after all.

It's petty and it's childish. And it's hard—like turning a page you've been stuck on your entire life—but you do, and the world doesn't end without him, like you thought that it might. You're fine, not even all that sad. Just a little empty for a while.

The years pass easily, as do old feelings and the ache in your chest. You get busy. With work, and hobbies, your dreams and hopes and aspirations. You don't have the time to dwell about what could have been.

At twenty-two, you fall in love, and it doesn't last. But not because there's someone stuck in your heart, like a thorn that just burrows deeper. Life happens, and you pull apart, naturally—like adults do—communication, and mutual agreement; the way you wish you'd been mature enough to handle your feelings all those years ago.

Maybe you'd still have your oldest friend by your side, then.

Somehow summer sneaks up on you, everytime—the third week of June, when you visit your parents in the same little town that's always changing. Streets busier than ever and pavement redone, ice cream parlor on the edge of town gone and replaced with a brick and mortar grocery. It makes it easier, you think, to not be reminded of Kirishima—and the way you left without so much as a goodbye.

You haven't forgotten him, far from it. Somehow you still find yourself in the comic section of the bookstore every October. But at some point, you forget his favorite foods and the way his hand felt in yours. When you see his house across the street, you think of his mother instead, and the way she greets you every time, like you're her second child. Her 'favorite', you used to joke.

It's bittersweet.

Six summers, and you manage to avoid him. Six summers and you come to terms with never seeing him again. Six summers, and he's there, suddenly—beneath your parents' roof, within the four borders of your childhood bedroom. Your heart beats like it might burst.

"Kirishima," you say, choking down your surprise with deep, careful breaths.

He turns to you then; four wooden borders squeezed carefully between two strong hands. The scar above his brow is baby pink, barely there, and he stands a little taller, you think, feels a little broader at the chest, and around his shoulders. You've seen him on tv, of course, in the news, in pictures, occasionally, but it's different—seeing him in person, after so long.

A true proper hero, standing there in your childhood bedroom, holding an old photo you'd all but forgotten about; two kids, faded ink and scuffed glass—hearts in your eyes, if he happened to look closer.

"Hi." His voice is a little deeper, smile a little softer when your eyes meet.

"Hi."

You feel a little helpless, truth be told. You'd spent so long avoiding him, so many years forgetting the casual conversation you'd once carried. You never considered what to say, if you were to meet again, never thought that you might. But here you are, after all this time.

You want to tell him you're proud, you think. The way you couldn't bring yourself to all those years ago. Want to tell him that you're sorry, for more reasons than one. Want to tell him he looks good, that you got the job he always said you would, that you worried about him, from time to time.

Instead, there's a tentative—"What are you doing here?"—that sticks in your throat.

As if it matters.

"Ran into your parents at the grocery," he answers, casually, "they asked me to stay for dinner."

And yet.

He sets the picture face up—where it once lied face down, forgotten in the eaves of your bookcase.

He's here; in your bedroom. Looking through your things, like he missed you.

You wring your hands together. Return the feelings you start to reach for, instinctively. A little book in the library of things you're predisposed to, catalogued under: Getting Ahead of Yourself.

"Are you?" the words are eager, the pages fall loose. You catch them, before he does. "Staying for dinner?"

It takes all of three steps, (you think it might have been five, once), for him to make his way from the bookcase to your bed. It creaks woefully when he sits, "Would that be okay with you?"

"Yeah," your voice nearly betrays you, "yeah, it would."

His shoulders unwind, chest falls. He breathes—easy. And then he laughs, boyish and yours.

"What's so funny," you gravitate towards him, naturally, suitcase forgotten at the door. The bed dips at his side and your shoulder playfully bumps his, "huh?"

The corners of his mouth crease at the edges, aged deep just like yours. "When did we become so boring?"

You hum—almost melancholy, picking at the splotches of red that still stain your comforter. "It's been six years, Kirishima."

"Yeah," he says, a little more pensive, "you look good."

Your heart skips, cheeks flush. Suddenly you're sixteen again, and pawing at the hem of your sundress, searching for his approval from the corner of your eye.

He's not looking at you, but it's different this time; or maybe it's exactly the same, and he's always been this way. Maybe you were just blind to it, sixteen and oblivious to the hand that wrings itself around the back of his neck, the red tinge that burns his ears.

But honestly, probably, you're searching for subtext that doesn't exist. Still, "So do you," the words come easy, "saw you at that award ceremony—on tv, I mean. Couldn't believe that was my Eijirou."

His head dips, eyes shimmer red; sweeter than wild strawberries. "Your Eijirou?"

'Yeah." You feel a bit self conscious, truth be told, though you've said it a hundred times. "Aren't you?"

His smile spreads like a yawn, from the depths of his chest, suddenly there and unshakable. Contagious—what was his, now yours as well. "Always have been."

Your chest tightens, every beat of your heart hammering at your ribcage. You still love him, after all this time. "How long will you stay?"

"Until dinner, at least."

"No, I mean," you sigh, heart spilling to your sleeves, "how long will you be in town?"

"I,-" It's lethargic, the way he blinks, throat bobs, smile falls, slow and pensive and so unlike him, "I moved back a while ago." Surprise washes over your face, rests in your brow, and he answers, before you have the chance to ask, "it's been two summers now."

You're not sure what that feeling is, gnawing at your heart and making you sick to your stomach—

"I'm sure you knew I came to visit," your voice is a murmur, eyes misty and searching for an excuse to meet everything but his, "you could have said 'hi'."

He hums, an almost sigh, "Wasn't sure you wanted me to."

—Guilt, that's what it is. It plummets, and swells, until you can feel it in your throat.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." A warm hand falls over yours, fingers curling—friendly, reassuring. You appreciate it for what it is. "I get it."

You've loved him for so long, known him for even longer, turned every page until the ink began to wear. But for the first time, you think you can see his heart bleeding between the lines.

"You're not doing that, don't you dare blame yourself, Kirishima Eijirou."

"You were lonely, weren't you? After I left for UA," his jaw goes rigid, every bit of shame clenched between his teeth, "should've tried harder to make it work, could've visited more often, could've taken an internship closer to home, could've,"

"—said," you click your tongue, stern as can be, "you're not doing that."

You pinch the corner of his sleeve, rolled red fabric over strong arms; he doesn't flinch at the coaxing, instead he turns to take your shoulders between his hands, "'m sorry."

You wrangle them from you, lying his palms at your lap, squeezed in between your own. "Damnit Ei, you didn't do anything wrong," you know for certain that he would've packed you in his suitcase if he could, would've dragged you along to every course and internship and oh-so-important hero happening, but you had your own life to live—and so did he. "You were following your dreams, who am I to get in the way of that?"

"My best friend, my other half, besides," his shoulders square, chest puffs, all brawn and ego and Eijirou; but his hands tremble unsurely, "I liked you," his wavering voice is still confident, somehow, confession long overdue, "and I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear from me after so long, but," his hands leave yours to worry his hair, all finely gelled and pushed back, now tousled and falling softly at his forehead, "I didn't want to regret it for another six years."

You feel like you're drowning, pulled under a tide of feelings new and old. Confused, and euphoric, and so, so stupid. He liked you. He liked you and you never had a clue. The irony makes you dizzy.

Your head breaches the surface, and finally you can breathe, deep and burning lungs expanding, expanding, and trembling—a stream of salt and water hits your cheeks and falls past your lips. Eijirou is quick wipe away the tears, a palm at each cheek, wide eyed and worried. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry. Please don't cry, okay?"

You laugh and his expression eases, shoulders falling and fingertips thumbing softly at your skin. "Don't worry, Ei. I'm happy," you sniffle, fingers wrapping 'round his wrists; his pulse stutters at your index and you smile, "I liked you too, a lot," at age six, at eighteen, the year before last, and the year after that, and, and, "I still like you, I think."

His smile blooms, face brightens like sunlight in the peak of summer, warm against the tips of your fingers.

"Can I take you on a date sometime?" he asks, like it's the easiest thing in the world; maybe it always has been.

"Yeah." Your heart beats, a page turns. "I'd like that."

[olldolldraws]

Katsuki loves all two and a half of his kids very dearly 🧡

(Kids are my krbk twins Eiichi and Akane ❤️🧡)

[simply-trash5]

heeeyyyy do you happen to do trigun 🥺👉👈 also BNHA DILFs is such a vibe rn can we have sum yummy hcs pretty please 🤤 i can't decide who so dealers choice 🥴

Heyyyy anon sweetie!

Sorry I am just now replying, I have the flu so miss girl is struggling. I am planning to watch Trigun so I don’t do it yet, but please come back soon and request because I will once I watch it ✨

So BNHA DILFs huh? Yummy HC will be under the line.

First and foremost let’s assume that all of my DILFS are divorced DILFs ✨ single and on the prowl…

Let’s start with Daddy OneforAll:

DILF Izuku is that big hunk of man with the boyish charm that has NO IDEA how sexy he truly is. I have this idea about you meeting him in the park while he plays with his kids. His kid will accidentally throw a ball where you are reading a book in the shade of a tree and here he comes to retrieve it. Curls falling in his face, a blush covering his cheeks when he notices your beauty that makes his freckles pop…he will stammer a little when he asks for your number…

Next thing you know you’re in his apartment. He arranged for a sitter for his kids and he took you on a date; now he has you on his couch kissing sweetly on your neck asking you if all of this is okay. His large scarred fingers are playing at the hem of your shirt ready and willing to all but rip it from your body.

DILF Izuku is patient and wants to take his time worshipping every inch of your body when he has you laid in front of him. He treats you like a goddess came to earth just for him as he watches you come undone from his tongue while you beg for him to fuck you mercilessly.

“Don’t worry sweetheart…I’m going to give you exactly what you want. Gonna take care of you…”

Next up DILF Bakugo:

Now I HC you meet him at some event for his children. I think his daughters are dancers and maybe you are their instructor and when he caught sight of you in your tights—all bets were off. He began to flirt here and there until he finally was bold enough to ask for your number and take you out.

Now you are bent over his bed being absolutely wrecked as he is pounding into you with a handful of your hair. He is all muscle and hard planes bent over you growling into your ear—“that’s right, be a good fucking girl ‘f me”

Now once he’s made sure he’s ruined you for anyone else he’s going to spoil the absolute shit out of you and show up at your studio all the time—even on patrols just to give you kisses or food or little gifts he thinks you’ll love because you’re one of his girls now and

“I’ll always take care of my girls…”

Now on to DILF Kirishima!

You meet DILF Kiri at the gym—at kids gym of course! He’s taking his little one to kids gym for a day of fun but he catches sight of you lifting and decides you need a little…help..on your form. So he leaves his little one in the caring hands of the instructors and comes over to ask if you want some help. You are stunned and maybe a little grumpy (which he finds cute) but sure why not. After a little fun banter you ask him for his number because he’s hot and you haven’t had a good fu—I mean date in a while.

One thing leads to another and Kiri has you in a mating press in his bed rubbing circles on your clit with those large fingers. You’re in shambles over his frame pressing on you and his cock hitting that spot so well and he’s cooing how ‘aww pretty girl you are doing so well don’t cry’ as he is wiping your tears. After you have came more times than you can count and he has marked you with his teeth—he cleans you up in a warm shower together and you lay in his soft bed as he strokes your hair and tells you how beautiful you are. You’re whipped and he’s whipped.

Now you’re going to the gym with him and bringing him lunch to the agency and prancing around in Red Riot merch as his little girlie friend. Good thing you’re getting speared by his dick every day that ends in a “y”. You’ll be moving in soon.

DILF simps come get yalls juice—lemme know if you want any other DILFs ✨❤️

[sweatandwoe]

Yesss, anotherYakuza's Guide to Babysitting fan. Honestly, I was hooked by the end of the opening credits.

We love a deep-voiced li'l psycho who's a softie around kids 💙💙

I did not expect his voice to be so deep. And just like look at him. He's tall, lanky, tatted, fanged and smiles like this:

Or like this

And him and Yaeka have such a cute older brother and younger sister dynamic

It's such a cute show, I need to re-watch already

[ryder-writes]

Live laugh love dilf!Kirishima

[yokozawass-fan-account]

Hiyori: How long are we going to stand here and let him do that?

Yokozawa: Just give him a minute.

Kirishima: *pushing in a door that clearly says pull*

[sumiresou]

Izuku's Clingy-ness

Izuku Midoriya x girlfriend/fem! Reader

word count: 643 (very short)

warning: clingy!boyfriend izuku, post-war arc, not-canon compliant (i tried, lord help me.), izuku missing his gf :(, someone get this man his gf back!!, sassy midoriya genes, possibly ooc for both kaminari and bakugo but oh well. NOT FULLY EDITED but it's like 4am... so...

a/n: I was reading some of @gglitch1dd 's dilf!izuku series, and i KNOWW I'm very late to the Izuku love but this fanfic idea is currently wrangling me like a bull... so... here! making this in-between 3 unfinished works and one series ideas!!! nice, author, nice.

beta read by my beautiful and unnerving sister.

Sometimes, It seemed unnerving how Izuku was so intensely obsessed with you. Izuku was just glad it wasn't in a bad way, despite how sometimes he would convince himself that he was such a bad person after the events of the Paranormal Liberation War. You were always there to squash those terrible thoughts that scattered and dug their way into his head, and convince him that what he had done was probably one of the best options left for Tomura Shigaraki.

He missed you today. You weren't in class the entirety of the school day, and he had gotten worried that you slept in; Until he saw your text message about having to suddenly go babysit your niece today due to an emergency involving the sitter not showing up. Everyone who even looked at Izuku's face could see it, how he looked like a kicked puppy who had just gotten every insult known thrown at him.

"Dude, you good? Did Y/N break up with you or something?" Kaminari had walked over, crouching down to rest his arms on Izuku's desk, long after class had ended. He had a slightly worried expression on his face, eyebrows furrowed, making Izuku feel slightly bad at making his friend worry about him. The green haired boy huffed, pouting as he stared down at the matching bracelets he had been fiddling with for most of class when he noticed Y/N's absence. Bakugo chimed in after Kaminari, abrasive as ever. Where did he even come from?

"Get a grip, Izuku. Your girlfriend is coming back tomorrow."

Izuku had at that moment, felt a little dumb. Oh. Oh! He had almost forgot, yeah you were coming back tomorrow. Wait... How did Bakugo know that? Right on cue, did Bakugo squash his thoughts.

"Y/N and I are friends too, calm down. Don't stare at me like that. You look like an offended goose." Bakugo sneered at him, his arms crossing over his chest. Kaminari looked over at Bakugo, his eyes wide and mouth agape.

"Woah! Dude, a little nicer maybe?"

Izuku rolled his eyes, giving his best friend an 'are you fucking kidding me' look. "You act worse when Kirishima is going to the bathroom, shut it." Izuku pouted and pointed at the spikey blond man in front of him.

Bakugo huffed and rolled his eyes, despite his hypocrisy in the situation. The blond was honestly so tired of Izuku moping around in class, and now outside too?

Izuku looked down at his phone, laying on the desk between his hands that kept fiddling with eachother. "Maybe I should call her."

Bakugo's eyebrow twitched. Maybe he should have bullied Izuku more. (not actually, but still.)

Kaminari was shocked at Izuku, no way Izuku was that clingy. "Yo! You should go and relax, go shopping with Todoroki and Bakugo! Todoroki has his dad's card for the day too! Do something instead of moping around all day! C'mon dude!" Maybe he wasn't being helpful, or maybe it was his excruciating single-ness.

Izuku groaned loudly in frustration, he just wanted his girlfriend dammit! Not to be basically kidnapped by his two friends to stop rotting over Y/N being gone for one day. "I don't wanna go out hanging out with everyone else, can't you guys just let me mope over my girlfriend being gone!?" He looked up at the ceiling, leaning back in his chair, hand clutching his hair.

"Not when you make it our problem! Get up! You're going shopping with Todoroki and Bakugo! Shoo! Out!" Kaminari exclaimed.

At the end of the day, he still couldn't help sending you a few 'I love you's and 'Facetime?'. He just missed you too much. When you came back, he was waiting on the UA steps, anxiously tapping his foot, and waiting for you like you always did.

"Day infinitely better."

want to support a struggling author? Leave a like and maybe a nice comment if you feel like it!

drops this and hides.

[heartofjasmina]

🌸 Masterlist 🌸

♡ Writing Tag ♡

Favorites:

My Hero (BNHA)

Glorious (All Might x glory hole)

Gardening!AU (Pro Hero!Bakugou x gardener reader)

Gardening AU HCs

Gardening AU 3

Gardening AU 4

Pro Hero!Deku x superfan reader

Breeding Instincts (Multi character: Daichi, Kirishima, Deku, Bakugou, Iwaizumi)

Alpha Bakugou and Omega son

Katsuki praises you when you need it most

Spanking w/ Todoroki

Dom!Amajiki

Dom Amajiki 2

Mommy dom x Amajiki

Anal freak Deku

Anal freak Deku 2

Iida and perv little sis (incest tw)

Pro Hero!Deku x bitch reader at high school reunion

Fashion designer Bakugou

Bakugou x bitch reader fluff

Duke!Bakguou x virgin reader

Glassblower Bakugou

Dilf!Bakugou x Todoroki's daughter

Dilf!Bakugou x Todoroki's daughter pt 2

Deaf!Bakugou

Deaf!Bakugou 2

Deaf!Bakguou 3

Cuckold!Shoto

Shouto and Dabi x reader (incest tw)

Professional chef!Bakugou

Dom nerd!Izuku x seven minutes of heaven

Pirate King!Aizawa

Pirate King!Aizawa x Princess reader

Daddy Dom!Kirishima x tantrum throwing reader

Cookbook author!Bakugou

Kiribaku x reader

Bimbo girlfriend Denki

Bimbo Denki 2

Camgirl!Denki

Big Bro Gamer Denki

Daddy Dom Bakugou fluff 2

Iida x slut reader

Iida x bitch reader

Tokoyami x high protocol

DILF All Might

Proffessional Violinist Bakugou

Kirishima's breeder balls

Bakugou x sleepy gf

Bakugou x anxious reader

Underground fighter!Kirishima

Bakugou x crybaby reader

Kirishima x little reader subspace

Professional chef!Bakugou 2

ProHero!Bakugou x nightmares

Bakugou x bitch gf

Bakugou x bitch reader 2

Big Bro Izuku (incest tw)

Facefucking x Tokoyami

Daddy Dom Bakugou fluff

Bakugou x stoner bitch reader

Deku x bimbo reader (tutoring)

All Might and his fans

Bakugou and gf!reader at Megan Thee Stallion Concert

All Might x stepdaugther!reader (stepcest tw)

Kirishima x regressed reader

Pro hero!Shouji x reader

Tokoyami x corruption kink

Tokoyami x fucking machine on reader

Shigaraki x chubby reader

Haikyuu

Ushijima x bitch reader

Ushijima x loudmouth gf!reader

Ushijima x anal

Daddy Dom Ushijima

Giant!Ushijima 1

Giant!Ushijima 2

Giant Ushijima 3 (op)

Ushijima x bimbo reader

personal assistant!Iwaizumi x boss lady!reader

Dom!Daichi pays attention

Dom!Iwaizumi x inexperienced reader

Dom!reader x Ushijima

Dom!Ushijima x bitch little sister!reader (incest tw)

JJK

Nanami x babygirl reader

Big Bro Suguru

Sukuna and his desperate little sis

Blue Lock

Bimbo!reader x Isagi

Bachira x bimbo gf

Kuroko's Basketball (KNB)

Aomine x tutor!reader

Murasakibara x reader

[emo-shigi]

Lost Love. | K. Bakugou

Pro-Hero Bakugou x Baker Reader

this has been on my mind for so long that i just needed to write about it.

WORD COUNT: 1.4k

WARNING: none, fluff.

Dilf pro-hero Bakugo, out patrolling, gets a call from his two bros, Kirishima and Sero. Saying that they might have lost his son while taking him to the amusement park. Furious, Bakugo screams and curses at the two for losing his kid and being such idiots.

He even threatens them that they better be fucking searching and be lucky to find Katsuo before him because if he sees him first, he won’t go easy on them when he meets them.

Meanwhile, Bakugo’s son is crying outside the gift shop for losing his two uncles. The little boy didn’t mean to get lost. He just wanted to get a Dynamite mask like his papa because he saw a little girl wearing one.

“Hey, sweetie, are you lost?” the tiny little boy hears a gentle voice, having him look up as he wipes his tears. He slowly nods to the pretty woman as he sheds more tears. “Hey, it’s okay, honey.”

“My name is Y/N,” you smile at the little boy. “What’s yours?”

“I’m K-Katsuo… Katsuo Bakugo.”

You crouch down to see Katsuo better, getting a tissue out of your bag as you wipe his running nose. “That’s such a lovely name, sweetie.”

Katsuo steps closer to you, “I-I lost my uncles…” he says, eyes getting teary again.

“Do you remember what your uncles were wearing? Or the last time you saw them?”

You watch how Katsuo takes his time to think about it, only to shake his head. “I ran because I saw a girl wearing a Dynamight mask, and I wanted one .. just like my papa.”

“Is your papa pro-hero Dynamight, Katsuo?” you ask, getting a nod. “That’s so cool, Katsuo.”

Katsuo finally smiles, tears gone. “I know, right! Papa is the strongest hero and the best! I love him so much,” he happily says.

You smile as you agree with the child. “I’m sure he is Katsuo.”

“But papa might be mad that I got lost..” Katsuo whispers.

You brush Katsuo’s bangs, “He won’t. You know why?”

“Why?” Katsuo asks. “Because he loves you so much,“ you say, having Katsuo giggle.

“Now, why don’t we go and find a security that could help us find your uncles, huh?” you smile, extending your hand for him to take, which Katsuo happily accepts.

Bakugo is starting to get anxious as he has been searching for his son for the past 10 minutes. The number of people in the amusement park makes it hard for the pro-hero to find his son. Until he gets a call from the security office of the amusement park that his son is safe and is here waiting at the station.

Bakugo arrives at the station, asking the security guard where his son is. Only for the pro-hero to growl as the security guard takes too long to speak, having him go search for the brat himself. As he enters further through the station, Bakugo is met with the sight of his son laughing while a gorgeous woman sits with him, playing with him.

what the-

Bakugo flinches when the woman spots him. “Katsuo, I believe your papa is here,” he hears her say. Having his son turn in that direction, she points to Katsuo, smiling huge, spotting him. Katsuo stands up and runs towards him.

“Papa!” Katsuo cries as Bakugo opens his arms and catches the little rascal. “I’m sorry I got lost….”

Bakugo chuckles, hugging his son. “I just wanted a mask like yours,” Katsuo whispers. “Mask?” Bakugo asks.

Katsuo nods, “umm… he saw a little girl wearing one,” Bakugo hears a soft voice speak, leading the pro-hero to turn towards the direction of the voice.

“So he ran off to where they were selling them and didn’t realize that he ran too far from his uncles.”

Katsuo nods his head, “Yeah and Y/N helped me, papa! She’s a very nice person.”

You laugh, getting the attention of the pro-hero. “Sorry for not introducing myself, but I’m Y/N, and I’m the one that brought your son here,” you smile, bowing to the hero.

Bakugo suddenly feels weird in his stomach from the smile you gave him. The two of you continue to look at each other, not breaking eye contact. The moment gets interrupted as Kirishima and Sero burst through the doors, running towards the hero, both crying in relief that Katsuo is okay.

Kirishima and Sero get on their knees once spotting their blonde friend.

It does not take long for Bakugo to scream and scold his friends, taking you by surprise by the way his two friends are on their knees, begging for forgiveness. You find the scene quite funny, but it makes you think you should leave. “Excuse me? Dynamight?” you ask, having Bakugo and his friends turn to look at you.

“Is it okay if I can talk to Katsuo for a minute before I leave?” you ask, taking the hero by surprise. “Sure.”

Bakugo puts down Katsuo, who happily walks up to you. You crouch down to be the same height as Katsuo, who hugs you. “Y/N, you’re leaving?” Katsuo asks with a tone of sadness.

You smile as you hug the little boy in return. “I am Katsuo. Your papa and uncles are already here for you, honey. But I didn’t want to leave without giving you the gift I have for you,” you say, making the little boy curious.

“A gift? What is it?” Katsuo excitedly asks. “You need to close your eyes first and no peeping.”

Katsuo eagerly closes his eyes, making you giggle from the cuteness. Bakugo watches the whole interaction, making the hero curious as well. He sees how you take something out of your bag but can’t tell what it is. “Okay, open your eyes,” you smile.

Katsuo slowly opens his eyes and gasps, “A Dynamight mask, like papa!”

“I told one of the security guards if they could do me a favor and buy it for me, which they nicely did,” you explain. “Now you can match with your papa, Katsuo,” you smile, looking over at Bakugo, who suddenly gets flustered.

Katsuo giggles from happiness, hugging you tightly as he thanks you.

“Your welcome, sweetie. I have to go, Katsuo,” you say, trying to let go, but Katsuo only hugs you tighter. “N-No.. don’t leave.”

“I have to, honey,” you softly say, only for Katsuo to shake his head.

Bakugo notices his son is not letting you go, leading him to walk up to the two of you and hit Katsuo’s head. “She needs to go, brat, so let go,” Bakugo says, pulling him off you.

“NO! I DON’T WANT Y/N TO GO,” Katsuo loudly cries as fat tears streaming down his face, taking both of you by surprise.

Katsuo continues to sob as Bakugo tries to calm him down a bit. It’s the first time Bakugo has ever seen Katsuo like that, especially crying for someone he just met. Bakugo sees you move closer to the two of them. “Katsuo,” you whisper, wiping his tears. “Will meet again, I promise.”

Katsuo sniffles, looking at you with teary eyes, “Promise?” he asks. You nod your head, “I pinky promise,” you say, lifting your pinky. Katsuo softly smiles as he interlocks his tiny pinky with yours before he lets go and hides his face on Bakugo’s chest.

“I’m sorry about all of this,” Bakugo says as he hugs Katsuo and carries him. “The brat isn’t usually like this.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” you smile at the pro-hero. “You don’t need to keep that promise….” Bakugo whispers low for his son not to hear.

You shake your head, “A promise is a promise,” you say, getting a nod from Bakugo.

“I own a bakery that’s close to your agency, actually. On the weekends, we have classes for kids, so if you’re ever free, please stop by with Katsuo. Here’s my card!” you happily say, handing it to the hero who takes it.

“Well, it was very nice meeting you, Dynamight! Bye, Katsuo will see each other soon, sweetie!” you say, getting a small wave from the little boy who’s hiding his face on Bakugo’s neck. You bowed goodbye to the pro-hero, his friends, and the security guard.

Bakugo keeps looking at you until he can longer see your figure. He then looks at the card you gave him. Milk and Cookies Bakery, softly smiling at himself without realizing. He then hears Kirishima and Sero snicker, leading Bakugo to glare at them as he walks up to them, giving them the beating they deserve for losing Katsuo.

[bunnywrites1414]

Happy Kink-tober ~~

This years kinktober is 100% compiled of self inserts because I am a spoiled brat and this is my account :)))

I am not sorry for any of these

As always pls read the tags for EVERY SINGLE fic before you read. Don’t accidentally trigger yourself.

Day 1: Steve Harrington

Teasing- Your friends cannot take a hint and Steve doesn't seem to care

Day 2: Suna Rinatarou

Thigh Riding- What kind of jerk invites someone over and then sits on a computer game for 2 hours? Suna, that's who.

Day 3: Shota Aizawa

Oral Fixation- Y/N gets bratty without something in her mouth and Aizawa is tired of hearing her.

Day 4: Jax Teller

Daddy Kink- Y/N knows what that word does to Prince Teller, she just doesn't care

Day 5: Eddie Munson

Corruption- She is the cutest thing he's ever seen and he cannot wait to ruin her.

Day 6: Spencer Reid

Sadomasochism- Angry Dom!Spencer = Unfair punishments

Day 7: Hitoshi Shinsou

Mind control- Hitoshi's quirk is fun, when he can convince his partners to let him do it

Day 8: Johnathan Byers

Brat Taming- Johnathan is a pushover. His submissive is well aware of that. However it takes more than a pout to sway his friend Eddie

Day 9: Izuku Midoriya

Forced Orgasms- Y/N tastes like heaven and Izuku can't control himself

Day 10: Ushijima Wakatoshi

Size Kink- Ushiwaka is a big 'ol boy

Day 11: Sam Winchester

Angry Sex- Sam hates Y/N. Y/N hates Sam. Dean and Bobby think it's hilarious.

Day 12: Billy Hargrove

Costumes- Billy didn't even know Y/N was coming to this party, but he knows they're matching costumes and that her ass looks perfect in those shorts.

Day 13: Taishiro Toyomitsu (Fat Gum) ft. Kirishima

Teaching- Kirishima has some questions for his mentor and Fatgum is happy to help.

Day 14: Katsuki Bakugo

Phone Sex- Katsuki's away on a mission and Y/N can't cum without him

Day 15: Eddie Munson

Throat Training-Eddie is really good with his mouth, Y/N wants to make him feel just as good as he makes her feel, but it takes a little work.

Day 16: Kotaro Bokuto ft. Kuroo

Group Sex- Kuroo's little girlfriend is really cute and he knows it. Bokuto is a connoisseur of cute things, and Kuroo's not so bad.

Day 17: Eijiro Kirishima

Pain Play- Kirishima is a people pleaser and Y/N likes a little pain with her pleasure

Day 18: Jax Teller

Dumbification- Even 'big hot shot Scientists' need a few moments to be a little brainless.

Day 19: Amren

Blood- Amren has never had blood wraith

Day 20: Arron Hotchner ft. Spencer Reid

Pet Play- Arron forgets to mention he's bringing home a friend, and Y/N is deep in pet space when they get there

Day 21: Cassian

Primal Play - Cassian’s an animal.

Day 22: Steve Harrington ft. Eddie Munson

Degradation and Praise- Steve and Eddie balance each other very well, or at least Y/N thinks so

Day 23: Azriel Shadowsinger

Edging- 'If you hold it I'll reward you'. Y/N likes rewards.

Day 24: Spencer Reid

Bondage- Reid wants to practice his knots

Day 25: Dean Winchester

Overstimulation- Dean is cocky and Y/N thinks it's funny to push his buttons.

Day 26: Eddie Munson

Dacryphilia- Eddie teaches Y/N a thing or two about discipline and can't help but notice how pretty she looks when she's crying.

Day 27: Shota Aizawa

DILF- Aizawa knows he's old enough to be her dad, but his Nanny is perfect

Day 28: Tetsuro Kuroo

Psuedocest- He knows he shouldn't but she sounds so desperate. What kind of brother would he be if he just let his little sister suffer?

Day 29: Spencer Reid

CNC- Y/N is stuck. Like really really stuck. Her neighbor Reid agrees to help under one condition.

Day 30: Keiji Akaashi

Mutual Masturbation- Akaashi is a visual learner, but Y/N thinks he just likes to see her embarassed

Day 31: Jax Teller

Rough Sex- Jax likes to fuck after he fights, and his choice of ass has a hard time saying no to that smile.

[fatkish]

Funny (Y/N) x MHA

Inside the teachers lounge:

(Y/n): *looking at Aizawa from across their desks* choke me with your thighs daddy.

Aizawa: no

Vlad and Hizashi: *spits out drinks*

All Might: *chokes as blood spills from his mouth*

——————————————————————————

All might: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Aizawa: Milfs.

(Y/n): Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

All might: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Hizashi: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Hizashi: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

(Y/n): Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

All might: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

All might: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Hizashi: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Aizawa: What? No! It isn't!

Hizashi: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

(Y/n): Hizashi...

Hizashi: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

(Y/n): I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Hizashi: ALL MIGHT, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

All might: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Aizawa: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

(Y/n): Y'all are dumbasses.

——————————————————————————

Midnight: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.

Hizashi: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?

Aizawa: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.

(Y/n): Guys

——————————————————————————

All might: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?

(Y/n): *sighing* Aizawa.

Aizawa: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.

Hizashi: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

——————————————————————————

*Bakusquad is learning CPR on a test dummy*

(Y/n): So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Kirishima: No, (Y/n). They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

(Y/n): No, that’s not part of it—

Mina: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Denki: I would want to live with no legs.

Bakugou: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Sparky. You don’t do anything.

(Y/n): All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Kirishima: *pumps frantically*

(Y/n): Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Sero: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Bakugou: How’s that gonna help you Tape arms?

Sero: I will divide and then count to it.

Bakugou: Right.

(Y/n): Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Denki: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

——————————————————————————

Y/n), on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Hizashi , i uh, I’ve been stabbed.

All Might: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU?

(Y/n): Wait- You aren’t Hizashi . Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you-

All Might: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? IM COMING THERE. IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE THATS BEEN STABBED.

——————————————————————————

Aizawa: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting.

(Y/n): I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold.

Vlad king: I think this message is extremely valid, but also (Y/n) has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth?

(Y/n): I want to set it off.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Why are you like this??

Aizawa: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

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Dabi: I'm trash.

(Y/n): As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Dabi:

Dabi: You smooth motherfucker.

Dabi: And yes it does.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Aizawa: You always act stupid.

Aizawa:

Aizawa: Wait…

——————————————————————————

Twice: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Dabi:

Dabi: I'm gonna tell them.

(Y/n): Don't you dare.

——————————————————————————

Toga: You really believe in (Y/n)?

Tomura: Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us.

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Kurogiri: I had to pick up (y/n) early.

Mr. Compress: That’s alright. Have they been sick?

Tomura: No, not sick, they’re just very upset because they’ve had a hard day.

Dabi: Wait, why did they have a hard day?

Tomura: They took their two pet snails to school with them today, and they had the snails in their book bag. They let out the snails by the sink in the back of the classroom for some exercise, and some kid, who was visiting the class that day, thought they were snails that had come inside from the playground, so they threw (y/n)’s snails out the window.

Dabi: Oh my god.

Kurogiri: I know you are laughing, guys, but please act sad about it when they get home today.

Dabi: I’ll try but that is hilarious.

Tomura: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.

Tomura: I’m trying not to let (y/n) see me laugh.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Aizawa and I are dating.

Nedzu, Hizashi, All Might, and Aizawa: *gasp*

(Y/n): Aizawa, why are you surprised?!

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(Y/n), about Hizashi and Aizawa: My god, would you two just get a room already?

Aizawa: Excuse me, (Y/n)?

(Y/n): You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding?

Hizashi: ...

Nedzu: I ship it!

All Might: CAN YOU NOT?

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(Y/n): Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Nedzu: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Aizawa: (Y/n). Answer the question, (Y/n).

(Y/n): Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.

(Y/n): Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Nedzu: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Aizawa: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Nedzu: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Aizawa: It takes less than a minute.

Nedzu: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Aizawa: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Nedzu: Like seven minutes??

All Might: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Aizawa: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? All Might? Your stove is enchanted!

(Y/n): Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Hizashi: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

[lowkeyremi]

Papi Kiripima <3 (implied fem!reader)

"Daddy rocket ship is taking off in T minus 1 minute!" Eijiro's voice rumbled in the hall. There's one child on his shoulders and one on his back.

"Daddy can I do the count down?!" Mei squeals in excitement.

"Let Kami give it a try! You know all your numbers, pumpkin." She pouts but accepts her father's answer.

"Kami, think you can count down from ten for daddy?" The shy little boy peaks from over Eijiro's right shoulder.

"Um.. I don't know..." He mumbles quietly.

"Come on bud I think you can do it!" Eijiro eggs him on confidently.

"Okay, um... ten." Kirishima starts making a rumbling noise and sways a little bit for 'take off'.

"Nine."

"Eight."

"Daddy what's next?" He asks quietly.

"Seven, bud." He chuckles.

"Yeah, um, seven."

"Uh.... um... s-six?"

"Yep! Your doing great Kami." He encourages.

"Five, four." He says quickly with a little giggle, Eijiro laughed as well.

"Three."

"Two."

"One!" He yells excitedly.

Kirishima starts making louder rumbling noises and runs down the hall with Mei and Kami.

"Daddy, what planet are we headed to?!" Mei raises her voice to compete with Eijiro's rumbling.

"To planet Nia!" He yells, and zooms into the living room where no doubt his sixteen year old daughter Nia would be on her phone.

"Dad! No, I'm talking to Kiara right now!" Eijiro smirked, he was determined to embarrass his eldest daughter.

"Alright my little astronauts, let's all say 'Hi, Kiara!' because that's what sissy wants!" Eijiro chuckles and Nia groans.

"Hi, Kiara!" The three say in unison.

"Hi, Mr. Kirishima, hi Mei, hi Kami!" She says back from the phone.

You set down the groceries on the counter. You'd just gotten home and heard all the commotion your husband was making.

"Hello, Kiara." Your voice wasn't as kind as your husband and children's were.

"Haha... hi Mrs. Kirishima." She laughed nervously.

Maybe you were being petty, but you still were not over the fact Kiara called Eijiro a 'DILF' and said she would 'totally smash him.'

You know he's hot but she better admire him from afar, because you are the only one 'smashing' Eijiro Kirishima.

Uhhhh should I write more? I like the idea of hot dad kirishima... ;)

Also im working on teacher's assistant, i wasnt sure what to write but now ive got some ideas :)