#different. the hardest thing is going to be setting boundaries because i have people in my life that need to work through their own stuff

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

trying to get better is so fucking frustrating

[artist-issues]

please trash Marvel's Phase Four with your mad skills, I hate it so much (the Hawkeye TV show was the best thing that came out of it) and Im in the mood to have someone share my rage over it lol

It’s been so long since I’ve seen most of them! Sorry. I’ll try to put my vague disappointments in them from back then into words:

Black Widow: The main problem with this one, if I remember correctly, is that there’s no build-up to Natasha’s connections with her family, or the other Widows. We like and accept Yelena because of the good writing and Florence Pugh’s charm; we like and except her parents for the same reasons—but do we feel for Natasha when she’s figuring out how much to love and worry about them? No. Not like we did when Pepper had to choose to blow up the roof Tony was on in the final battle of Iron Man. Not like we felt when Steve lost Bucky. Why? Because the whole “family,” all the “other Widows,” have no real, human depth to them, and no time for us to see that humanity displayed.

The dad’s a caricature, not a guy we can relate to. So’s the mom. And the other Widows are non-characters; they’re pretty faces representative of a conflict, who can have tragic music played over their death scenes so we remember “why Natasha fights.”

Pepper and Tony fear for each other’s safety and wonder what they are to each other, just like the sisters are supposed to in Black Widow. But we care about Pepper and Tony, because we’ve seen what a day at the office looks like with them. We’ve seen their normal. We’ve seen who they are as people, and how they interact on a normal level—so that when the extreme interactions come, we’re already invested. Black Widow doesn’t have that. It’s “weird caricature group gets turned into weirder super-spies and they spend a few minutes worrying about each other out of nowhere at the climax of the film.” That was my impression of that one. But I only saw it once, and liked it better than the others.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - Normal human moments, but way too much time spent on retroactively revealing layers of backstory. Heres the dad’s backstory. Just kidding, that’s not all of it, here’s some more. And here’s the part you missed. And here’s the backstory of this magical world. Just kidding, here’s some more. And here’s backstory on the main character. Sorry, he forgot to reveal the Big Emotional Part, we saved it for the pre-climax, so have a little more backstory.” You’re so busy keeping all that straight that you don’t have as much capacity leftover to care about the main characters, even if those main characters do have some human moments to appreciate.

Compare it to Thor. Both movies have “hard-to-swallow magical realms existing near the Normal World.” But not both movies set the audience up to accept, believe, and keep up with that. Thor does. Shang-Chi doesn’t.

The whole introduction to Thor carefully tells you the full “outer boundaries,” the hardest stuff to swallow about the magical world of Asgard. And it helps you understand and swallow those things well before you need to be really invested in the emotional reactions of the characters. In the first half of the movie, they neatly go: “Guy walking out of a tornado and getting hit by a car, seemingly impossibly; he must not be normal. Let’s show you why. Ready? Here: 1) Frost Giant war + how this realm relates to the normal world, 2) Asgard & the king’s sons, plus their different motives 3) how the rainbow bridge and Thor’s banishment works. Got it? Back to the Normal Story.”

By the time you’re jettisoned into the Normal World part of the movie, you care, emotionally, about everything Thor and Jane care about, from her losing her lab equipment to him thinking his mother hates him—without having to take breaks in their story to remember how a rainbow bridge works or what the Frost Giants want, etc. But Shang Chi is all over the place, back and forth, up and down, three layers of tragic hard-to-believe backstory on top of each other. …And it delivers all that backstory in bits and pieces, as interruptions to the “normal world” or “present adventure” part of the story.

Plus, the “normal world/present adventure” part isn’t even that good, I’m so sorry to say it. Our previous heroes had normal-human obstacles to overcome, sure, but those relatable obstacles were still severe. Big character flaws that would come back to haunt them. Steve wonders if he’s all alone in his resolve and responsibility—and that keeps coming back up no matter what his circumstances are. Tony wonders if he can ever accomplish his full potential and make up for his past mistakes—and that keeps coming back up, no matter the circumstances.

But you’re telling me I need to not only believe that Shaun and Katy “wonder if they’ll ever take life seriously enough, like adults”—not only believe that—but that after this adventure, that’s the struggle he’ll always have to overcome?

Seems to me it should be something more along the lines of “have mercy instead of controlling everything through conquest like my father.” They kinda tried to do that. But the problem is, it doesn’t connect back to his “relatable human flaw.”

Steve had to realize he wasn’t alone fighting Nazis and Hydra and Thanos—sure—in big moments, like the one where Shaun chooses to spare his father. But guess what? Steve also had to learn to overcome his flaw in little moments, too. He has to realize he’s not alone in waiting for “the right partner;” Peggy is also committed to waiting. He has to choose to believe he’s not alone even though he’s a man-out of-time—by taking an active role in the present, by asking his neighbor out on a date.

Shaun’s little “when am I going to grow up and be an adult” thing only pops up in his human moments. It doesn’t have a parallel in his superhero moments. So then I don’t care as much, or relate as much, to his character.

Because honestly, not every member of the audience can even relate to worrying about that. Only young adults and teenagers. Maybe some 30-40 year-olds. But it’s not a universal thing, like Steve’s broad loneliness or Tony’s broad pride.

Eternals - Without a doubt the most horrifyingly bad MCU movie I ever saw. Worse than Captain Marvel.

I don’t even know where to begin. This movie had no idea what it wanted to be, except a direct smack in the face to anyone who believes that humans should submit to a deity who made them and accept their purpose. Obviously that most closely fits the description of a Christian audience, but this movie really alienated audience members with worldviews that have any monotheistic religious leanings. Or just…audience members with a worldview that values humility, and service, and self sacrifice, and knows that love without this values is not actually love, in general.

The characters have no humanity. They lack depth. There’s a weird fixation on slow suffering and memory loss with Angelina Jolie’s character. Not one character is likeable because we spend barely any time with any of them. Not one is relatable because they do that whole “live for thousands of years” thing, without taking their time and showing us a believable version of ‘what’s normal��� to these characters.

And like I said, the message is garbage. It’s appalling.

Spider-Man: No Way Home - This movie was good, I have no notes.

I have a brother who likes to say that the whole first half of the movie is worthless because you only care after the other Spider-Men show up, but I totally disagree, because the point of the movie was “who is (MCU) Peter Parker?” So at the beginning you have him trying to figure that out based on public opinion of Spider-Man and a college;s acceptance of him, and trying to fix his “image” of himself, essentially, so his life can go back to normal. Then by the climax he’s got two other Peter Parkers there, reminding him of what being “Peter Parker” means. You take responsibility to do what you can to help people, no matter what everybody else does. No matter what it costs you. That’s who Peter Parker is.

And they needed to speed-up the maturity level and raise the stakes of their particular version of Peter Parker, because he’s supposed to be a recurring part of this high-stakes universe they created—but they also needed him to return to feeling like a more traditional, “friendly neighborhood” Spider-Man, within that context. And they solved both those problems. And they did it with Andrew Garfield and Toby MacGuire, so I liked this movie, sorry.

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness - Stupid and wrong.

I have never liked Sam Raimi, but I didn’t have a problem with his editing style or over-the-top drama this time around. I had a problem with the way the characters were handled.

We still barely know Stephen Strange, and we certainly weren’t given the impression that his love interest from the first movie was the great love of his life, so that emotional thread in this movie was flimsy.

The America character was barely a character.

But the worst of the worst of it was Wanda.

You mean to tell me, Raimi, that the Wanda who was experimented on and used for her power from an early age would have willingly murdered a superpowered little girl in a demonic rite? You mean to tell me that the Wanda who just spent a whole expertly-written television show showing me that she’s learned she can’t manipulate people’s lives, and she’s willing to sacrifice her own happiness if it means sparing other people suffering—you mean to tell me that THAT Wanda, the one I’ve spent five stories over several years getting to know—you mean to tell me that Wanda read one vaguely evil book and now she’s willing to slaughter her friends and a little girl so she can steal children from other, weaker versions of her own sad self?

That doesn’t make any sense.

You COULD have it make sense. You could show me her corruption. Show me what the Darkhold’s doing to her. Show me how she got from point A (WandaVision’s ending) to Point B (murderous careless rampage and smiling at the thought of murdering a little girl.) Use your runtime to do that.

But no. We’re going to use our runtime to throw in pointless cameos with no build-up, no real weight or gravity, no genuine excitement. To play with out special effects and CGI. To spend lots of runtime on arbitrary horror-movie scenes and gore.

And then kill Wanda off? …What?! It was idiotic. It was so contrived. I felt like I was watching a forgettable DC movie, or a Batman movie where the star of the story is just shock-and-awe.

Thor: Love and Thunder - This movie couldn’t decide if it wanted to be funny or serious. So it failed at both. First Thor’s making a joky explanation retconning Jane, breaking up with him, as a silly rom-com parody. Oh, then he’s holding her in his arms crying and claiming he’d rather be with her than win a fight, like that’s the big momentous moment-of-change for his character.

Sorry, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you that Thor loved Jane. Because they barely show any serious, grounded, genuine, human affection to each other the whole movie. All I’ve seen is a parody of that, and de-masculatung mockery of Thor himself. You want me to believe he’s losing the love of his life and it’s devastating to him because he’s a human being with depth of emotion? Then don’t set him up as the star of a bad Will-Ferrell comedy.

And of course the “message” is crap. And every situation they get into is unbelievably stupid and unfunny. This is actually the movie that made me give up on Marvel.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - I didn’t see this movie. I love Leticia Wright, I’m on her side. But I had to give up on the MCU after Love and Thunder. I wanted to give up on it after Eternals, but I told myself I’d stick it out for the OGs (any movie about characters from the original Avengers squad or Guardians.)

The television shows during Phase 4 were all pretty good, for what they were, except for Moon Knight, in my opinion.

To sum it up: Phase 4 rushed everything, cut out the grounded human moments and feared all genuine displays of emotion in their characters. Instead they jammed in heavy action sequences, some more gore, and soulless, arbitrary, quick-flash cameos. The only exception was Spider-Man: No Way Home.

Thanks for asking! I could be open to changing these opinions; I’d have to go back and watch them over again, it’s been so long. But I think I’d rather put on wet socks, heel-to-toe, than watch Eternals or Multiverse of Madness, ever again.

[starry-eyed-steve]

Max taking the risk in season 2 is the reason she survived so long, and it will (hopefully) be the reason she gets saved in season 5.

I love the angsty lumax scenes comparisons/parallels like every other person, but it's not true that Max getting involved led to her being in a coma in s4. I think people want an angsty Lucas arc for the last season where he blames himself for everything, but I need someone to reassure him it's not because he got Max involved in s2. I believe his guilt will mostly stem from him not being able to stop Jason in time, letting Max go through with the half-baked plan and, in general, letting Max isolate in the months leading up to Vecna. (Which is already enough. Someone needs to give him a hug in s5)

Max being part of the group by accepting the risk, actually saved her life in multiple ways.

In s3, the chance of her dying due to Billy would have been significantly higher than it actually was. Billy would have gotten possessed either way. It was Karen's fault, not Max or the party, that he was at the wrong place at the right time. If Max hadn't known about the Mindflayer or El, she wouldn't have suspected anything, thus making her an easy target to get flayed as well.

If she were to survive s3 on her own, Vecna would have still targeted her because she felt guilty about Billy dying not because she witnessed it but because she wished that something would happen to him to make the abuse she suffered from him stop. And when something did happen, she blamed herself. Her complicated relationship with Billy is the reason why she got cursed. It was never because she took the risk. Her issues stem from outside of the supernatural things. Without Lucas and her friends, she wouldn't have survived the first attack. She would have been confused like Chrissy, Patrick, and Fred, not knowing what was going on and then dying a horrific death.

Taking the risk ensured her to live as long as she did because she had the opportunity to get information that were vitol for her physical well-being.

But taking the risk also gave her the opportunity to live a more fulfilled life. In the beginning of s2, Max was super closed off. She was scared to get close to anyone because of her brother. He was threatening to harm people if Max disobeyed him (aka him trying to run the party over as a scare tatic to get her back under control after the argument). So she pushed Dustin and Lucas away. It was easier and safer for everyone involved. If we take Runaway Max as canon, then Billy actually physically harmed one of her friends, so it's understandable that Max tries her hardest to stay away in the beginning. Only due to Lucas and Dustin constant persuading and pushing she opened up a bit more. And then when Lucas told her the huge secret she was suddenly a part of something so big she had to allow herself to trust others because her life was dependent on it. It gave her the opportunity to be honest and vulnerable to an outsider, which also then led her to free herself from her brother's control by the end of s2. Meeting Steve and the rest and seeing that someone was willing to protect her from her brother's abuse gave her the strength to set boundaries, which then allowed her to be happier and more open. She met El and found amazing friends in the party, which she wouldn't be close otherwise. It also allowed her to have a different relationship with Billy. In s3, they seemed to be more relaxed before everything went south.

Without getting involved, she probably would still be the closed off girl she was at the beginning of s2. She would still be under Billy's control until he died. And then she would be alone without anyone really looking out for her, which would lead to her definite death in s4.

Lucas saved her physically and emotionally by giving her the opportunity to take the risk. And because of that, she can still be saved in s5.

[one-flower-one-sword]

Hello, and thanks again for sharing your thoughts on my previous ask.

More random thoughts to share! : -D

At the end of the fight with Jun Wun, Xie Lian props up his bamboo hat to shield Jun Wu from the rain. That really stood out to me. Jun Wu tormented him for so long. Most people would spit on his body and burn it. Haha, maybe not all that, BUT, they wouldn't give him any sliver of kindness and that would be expected. Xie Lian doing so is just another tell of how much compassion he has for others, and it just blows me away. I couldn't help but see the parallels between what he did for Jun Wu there and the kindness the man with the bamboo hat showed him. I'm still thinking on this a bit, but...Xie Lian had people who loved him (Hua Cheng) and showed kindness to him (the man with the bamboo hat) even at his lowest. I wonder, even if unconsciously, if he wanted to provide some hope to Jun Wu that he can move forward past the worst part of himself. Not saying at all that Xie Lian wants to be part of that process, simply that once Jun Wu is no longer trying to actively harm him or others, he doesn't have any ill will to him. (but even that is over simplifying things - I'm sure Xie Lian could have bad days where he does). But that's my vague thought on this... Xie Lian is able to see the good in people even while not dismissing the bad they've done. To me, it seems he tries to nurture that as much as possible. What are your thoughts on that scene though? :) __________

Interestingly enough, Xie Lian has the hardest time with Qi Rong's personality. Qi Rong is mean-spirited, self-aggrandizing, and cruel as a child, and even more so as a ghost. By the time he's a wrath ghost and we see him facing off with Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, he's really quite pitiful. He can't even see how pathetic he is and it really comes off like a child begging for any attention he can get, even if it's bad attention. Xie Lian's feelings towards him are very complicated. I find it a little ironic and sad because it really does seem that if Qi Rong had had a much firmer and consistent hand in discipline, boundaries and love, that things could've been different for him. Maybe Xie Lian could have when they were young and both alive, but Xie Lian had so much going on himself and honestly, Xie Lian was still a child himself! The adults needed to step in at that time. And when Xie Lian is old enough, I think he's realized he just can't with Qi Rong. For whatever reason - history, personality, family dynamics he can't deal with Qi Rong in a compassionate way and so does what he can and keeps his distance (until present time run-ins start happening). And honestly, that's probably one of the few acts of self-care and boundaries Xie Lian set for himself. He knew his limits with Qi Rong. I do want to be clear that Qi Rong's actions are his own. He's hurt and killed many. He made his own poor choices and is responsible for that. I just think, if from the beginning, if he'd had someone who could be firm and compassionate, things could've been different for him. And potentially, if he'd met someone as a wrath with the patience and compassion to guide him, things could've been different...even if it took another 800 years! On the flip side, maybe Qi Rong did come across such a person but rejected it. We'll never know since it wasn't revealed in the book, but it's interesting to think about. Also, this is the first time I've thought about their relationship dynamics so I could totally be missing some things. What are your thoughts on their relationship dynamic? ------- On a more lighthearted note - one of the things I really love about the novel are all the many ways Xie Lian and Hua Cheng show their love and care for each other. Not just with big moments, but in little ways too with words and actions. There's so much material and every time I'm reminded of it, I just smile inside. I'm so happy for them! But one scene in particular that came to me was right after Xie Lian and "Ming Yi" help Shi Qingxuan escape the Heavenly Capital. They go back to Puqi Shrine and find Hua Cheng tidying up the place with essentially his shirt off. Xie Lian gets flustered and tells him to put his clothes back on and once he does, Xie Lian notices his collar is a little crooked and straightens it for him. Haha, I thought it was very sweet and definitely a "you're already married" moment. : ) Any favorite small moments you remember off the bat?

Thank you for your ask! I'm sorry it took me so long to reply after all (the funeral was last week, so as you can imagine the days leading up to and after it were quite stressful and draining). That said, let's get right into it :3 Gonna go through it from the top:

Xie Lian - His kindness and compassion really are admirable. It's why I find it so baffling when he's described as naive and/or arrogant by fans because that's not at all how the text portrays him. Throughout the story, he's the one willing to against the status quo - both in the human realm and in heaven - and to help the ones no one else cares about, no matter how much pain it results in for him personally. The trauma Jun Wu causes him almost makes him lose himself and then afterwards there's a long time where he blames himself and it's only through meeting Hua Cheng (again) that he gains back his confidence - and like you said, the final scene with Jun Wu shows in such an understated yet profound way that the core of who Xie Lian is has not changed at all: someone who believes that people deserve saving, that kindness is never in vain.

Qi Rong - I can't think of much else to add at the moment, but yeah just like you said, he might have turned out different had he had better parental guidance, but in the end the text is very firm that our choices are our own. I think it's also interesting that when people call Xie Lian naive and arrogant for wanting to save the common people and blame it on him being "spoiled and privileged", it's actually Qi Rong who demonstrates what happens when people born into privilege never question their status and instead do everything they can to take advantage of it and uphold it. Meanwhile Xie Lian even at seventeen was very critical of the power structures and morals that surrounded him and unlike Qi Rong didn't believe that he should be held to a different standard of justice than those "lower" than him. And it can't be chalked up to different guidance, since Xie Lian's views clashed repeatedly with those of his parents and his teachers.

Hualian - I absolutely adore all those small moments that showcast their relationship. Some of my favorites that immediately come to my mind are when they're in heaven and Mei Nianqing is explaining about Jun Wu's past and then inquiring about Xie Lian kissing Hua Cheng:

"Xie Lian could sense that he'd have a hard time swallowing whatever the state preceptor was about to tell him. He wanted to call for Hua Cheng, but before he could do so, Hua Cheng had already come to sit beside him." [...]

"When Xie Lian realized that Hua Cheng likely hadn't lived past eighteen, his fingers trembled. Hua Cheng reached out with one arm and gently covered Xie Lian's chilly hands, palm to back. Although their skin was equally icy, there was warmth where their hands touched." [...]

"Xie Lian had been desperately trying to stop the state preceptor from talking, but with no success. Covering his face, he silently shuffled behind Hua Cheng, who smiled and circled an arm around him as he raised his brows."

Hua Cheng's mere presence is such a source of comfort and safety for Xie Lian, it makes me so ;_; that he wanted him near for emotional support. And they're so tactile, so gentle with each other, always seeking to be close and to reassure and comfort each other through touch ;_;

I feel like I just rambled but I hope my answers managed to still be interesting and satisfying! Thank you for your ask, the distraction and interaction really helps rn <3

[nozunhinged]

After a year of essentially getting payed for kicking people in the butt to do their job (or as professionals like to call it: "project manager") which is basically a culmination of everything my autistic self is NOT capable of, I gathered a few learnings about a desk job environment that may also be helpful to someone else. Because I would've been grateful if I had this advice when I started working and not 10 years and 20 jobs later.

(also no NT bashing intended here, these are just my observations okay)

1. Neurotypicals tend to forget stuff...a lot

That doesn't just go for their tasks (ehem) but also anything else from small talks to compliments and even fights or heated arguments. They deal with the situation and move on (I'm so jealous of that ngl) while probably every neurodivergent spends a lot of time processing which can be extremely exhausting. So I learned that when I'm at work I try to go "neurotypical mode", which means dealing with the task at hand and immediately move on without giving it a second thought. Of course I mess up shit in the process, but funnily enough if you just correct it with a sorry, that mistake is ALSO immediately forgotten! It's hard in the beginning but gets easier with time.

2. Imagine you are a tiny ant in a huge colony

What tremendously helped me dealing with social interactions is to shift the focus away from my overwhelming anxiety but on what this interaction is to the other person. And to them, I'm just one ant of many ants this person talks to today. To me it may have been the one single talk for the whole day, but I try to pretend that I also did this 100 times already like they did probably. And now that we know that people forget a lot and don't have elephant brains like us, it's a lot easier for me to accept slip-ups in my script or saying dumb things (or very often, just saying nothing because my brain had a blackout). I always imagine they think "well that was funny" and then they forget. And if they forget, I can too.

3. I hate to admit it but...even with the hardest things, practice makes perfect

Hear me out. I'm the first person to choose the mail or contact form if I have the choice. But at work, I mostly don't. And the first few months I caused a lot of trouble because I struggled very hard to call people. But now that I need to call people at least 10 times a day, even the necessary private phone calls got way easier. Theres no shame in having a hundred scripts for different scenarios. I still always practice every word I say before I call, but it's much much quicker and less stressful now. And I also always use the same 5 phrases like a call center and that's also fine. No one will notice, I promise.

4. Set your boundaries...no one will ask you why

That's probably the hardest one and I needed a lot (and I mean A LOT) of therapy to get to this point but: you don't have to explain yourself. Never ever, in any situation. The more you explain, the more questions will be asked. There's a huge difference between "no I can't do this" to "I don't think I can maybe I can find a way but there is reason xyz why it's impossible" — every explanation gives your coworkers and higher ups an in. When you say a simple "no" in a neutral tone, in 90% of cases the answer will be "noted". Same goes for emails. Never explain, just keep the information brief. No explanations. Polite formalities if necessary but thats it.

For days off I repeat: Never explain why you need it. You say "I need a day off". If they ask why, say you just need it. And even if they try to rope you into a discussion, stand your ground and by any means don't get tricked into giving an explanation. And if they deny you your day off and try to threaten with losing your job or whatever shit, take that one L and don't take the day but immediately try to get out of that hellhole and apply for other jobs in secret.

But let me tell you, they won't fire you over shit like this, they need you as much as you need them. And we often tend to forget that (as in, they use that tactic to keep us in place). My old employer literally went bankrupt because they laid off too many people. It will fuck them up in the long run. You always, always have something to contribute. They just don't want you to know.

That shit is so hard, the first few times I literally had to hide in the bathroom and cry to deal with the aftermath. I still fall back into explain-mode sometimes. But if you stand your ground most of the time, they will think "well they must have thought long and hard about it and have a good reason". It's so weird, I know.

5. Your 80% is neurotypicals 150%

We often have to deal with comments like "but how will you be able to put up with this workload" "you know you have to work as hard as the others right" "you're not as resilient" Blabla. Reality is, the average employee doesn't work nearly as hard as you do. They just sell it better. Go drink that coffee with your desk neighbour. Have that Smalltalk by the vending machine. Visit Josh from accounting and ask dumb questions. It's fucking exhausting but it will make them feel like you are trying hard. I know it sounds counterintuitive but it really works. Because when you try hard the neurodivergent way — aka work your ass off to prove that you fit in until you burn out— you will just get more work that you can't get done because you are yknow, burned out. But then the expectations have already been set. It's a vicious cycle.

So start slow. Introduce yourself to literally anyone (cringe I know) and if you think you're going too slow, go even slower. Ask a million questions even if you know the answer. And if you don't know, still ask. Ask every little dumb thing. I promise, it's okay. You're still working harder than anyone else, just different. But they don't need to know that. If you're done with a task in an hour that you should need 4 hours for, chill for the remaining three hours. You need it, because that one hour cost you a lot of energy! But watch out if an employee walks past, open that spreadsheet back up. And if you needed 8 hours for a 4 hour task, great! Another office day in the books, time to go home!

6. Speaking of different

I know all of these tips are basically sending all of us to masking hell but the sad reality is that this world is still made by and for neurotypical people and it's essential for our survival to manage all these invisible rules we don't understand. But I am convinced that masking can be a powerful tool if we use it to our advantage. I used all my observation skills to come up with these social play cards (my therapist suggested I literally make cards and we wrote them together, I loved them so much for encouraging that) when I started working in my company and now I have a kind of "standing" (don't ask me it's weird and I don't get it) that allows me to ask for more and more accommodations which I desperately need. I have exact time slots for availability which are getting respected, I successfully set a limit on meetings per week and I even get to turn off slack without anyone questioning if I'm working. Which in turn makes me more capable in doing my job and everyone is happy. Basically the opposite of a vicious cycle. Because turns out I'm actually good at annoying the shit out of people to deliver their work, who would've thunk. They're like "oh I better do my shit before noz comes for my ass" and it's glorious.

7. Being disliked is actually an advantage

I know, I know. Avoiding conflict is the neurodivergents bread and butter. Being liked by everyone is too, because we already feel so ostracized we try anything in our power to make up for it. But you know, if people don't like you at work, they will do their best to avoid you. If your direct colleagues don't like you, they will also do their best to keep your joint tasks at minimum level and as efficient as possible. Don't get me wrong — They will gossip, they will turn against you, they will try to make your work life harder than it already is. That needs to be endured, unfortunately. But keep doing you. You will be fine, I promise. If they hate you, you are doing something right. Being the villain is kinda fun, actually.

8. Your colleagues are not your friends

I fell for that trap so many times and still do. The second you get into a friendly relationship with any coworker, the power dynamics will shift. You will get more lenient with helping out, going out of your way with things and that will spread like a wildfire. Because when push comes to shove, they will drop you like a hot potato. Always, always keep everyone at a healthy distance. No matter how nice and lovely they are. Same goes for — no especially for — higher ups. They are most definitely not your friends. And the company is not a family. If you don't get payed for it, don't do it.

And last but not least....

You are worthy. You are capable. You are a smart, wonderful and shining individual and don't let a dumb desk job environment convince you otherwise. They are all just bullshit jobs and everyone tries to sell it as something super important. It's not. It's just a way to make ends meet. We all have something to contribute, no matter how small or niche and this corporate bullshit is not the standard you need to abide to. Keep doing you. You are doing great, I promise.

[thelovelyghostwriter]

Answers are below:

AO3 Handle

This is easy. Numbkid.

It has been a pen-name since I was a kid. I was an emo kid who liked Linkin Park's Numb.

2. Ships I write

Currently, mostly Kuraneon. Occassionally there are other HxH pairings like Hisomachi, Tserriednich/Theta, Chrollo/Neon and Ponzu/Pokkle.

3. Ships I read

Pretty much anything I get curious about.

4. When i started writing

11 years old. That was more than a decade ago, even before AO3 was founded.

5. First fic I wrote

I did write something when I was 11 on FF.net. I did delete it because of the poor language use and the fact that it was cringe.

I did remember the title, it was "Can I heal your broken heart" which was a CoAi fanfic.

6. Favourite fic I wrote

There are a lot that I have written over the years. Just to name a few:

I like writing angst, so this is probably the most painful one. Also the longest one-chapter fic I have ever written (13K words).

I think this is my favourite Hisomachi fic. I really enjoyed writing them in a whimsical fantasy setting. It was also pure comedy and fluff.

My very first Tserriednich/Theta central fic, with Hisomachi and Kuraneon pairings as well. I had fun writing Tserriednich in a very psychological thriller type of way.

I loved writing Kuraneon hate-sex. There was something raw and hot about this.

7. Hardest fic I wrote

There were a few fics that were written with much difficulty, for various reasons.

The longest, completed fic I have ever written. It was difficult because half-way because I lost interest in Detective Conan as a series. I have always liked the CoAi pairing, but grew frustrated with how the series was going. Add on to my depression in the 2014-2016 era (this was written from 2015-2018) + adolescent teen angst + readers pressuring me to continue, and you get a recipe for disaster. Incredibly difficult for me to write given the circumstances. I also didn't think it was good and there were people complaining on Wattpad so I thought the efforts were in vain. I was so frustrated that I vowed never to write for this series ever again. Don't know if I'm gonna hold up to that promise but it has been 6 years, so I'm not sure if I'll love this series enough to write for it again. Maybe a one-shot, who knows.

8. Most research-intensive fic I wrote

This one is very obvious. The amount of stuff I had to learn to write how the mafia works in HxH and also how Nen works. Also the HxH world building. Whew. Very heavy stuff. It is paying off though.

9. Fic that is most dear to me

I am going with the first fanfic I have ever discovered.

This fic was first written in 2005, I discovered it just a tad a few years later. I was mindblown by the fact that people could just write about established characters and make up scenarios, lmao. It fulfilled my shipper desires that Conan and Ai would get together! Somehow after like a while, it inspired me to write my own fics. So this was the start of everything.

10. Favourite trope to write

I don't know, I don't really have a trope. There are common things I liked exploring:

Mafia theme

Greed and money

Desires and Death

Sexual temptation

Psychological thriller

Occassionally I do write the happier fics and I think I can pull it off, but that's not where my interests lie.

11. Something I wouldn't write

Hmm... I don't have boundaries, I think? I love exploring different genres, themes and even the most messed up situations. I like dark fics, I do want to write thrillers.

Probably just fics about real people. Like those celebrity fics, like those "my mom sold me to One Direction" or something. It's just weird writing about real people for me.

I also don't really do requests anymore. I would hate to write a ship that I wasn't 100% on board with.

12. Favourite scene I ever wrote

Hmm, this is quite tough. Probably the part where Theta reads a letter from Tserriednich in "Like Turkeys Voting for Christmas".

Dear Theta,  The newspapers told me about your tremendous error that led to the chaos during Sara’s winter concert - how an exhilarating event had burst into madness. Pity poor Sara though. Once was a bright star among the upper echelons, had fallen so gracefully in a blink of an eye. I fantasise that you wonder before going to bed if that error was an unfortunate anomaly, or had been stuck to you like an inherent gene. Like Sara, millions of individuals undergo their life like an inverted curve - the struggle to go up and then come rolling down the hills. Do you find it humiliating that you, once a trustworthy royal head bodyguard, had been demoted to a security for a talentless celebrity rumoured to had fucked her way up to the top in Hollywood? And more so that even in this meagre position, you had failed? Do you believe that failing your career in protecting your client, would be equivalent to having failed to save the inner child wailing deep within yourself?   I would reassure you, my dear Theta, that you are competent. A fine specimen of the female human species. Which is why I had no doubt of choosing you to watch my back. It is unfortunate however, that you chose to stab it. Why would you do that, my dear Theta? We were having so much fun - our intimate bantering had been forever etched to my memories.  I had often backtracked at which pinnacle moment my behaviour became intolerant for you: you had always turned the other cheek whenever a new collection of mine was delivered; and the personal matters of my fucked up royal family had been more or less familiar with you. The screams of women getting out of their shells never fazed you either. Somehow, you believe that me unlocking the powers of Nen would be a Pandora’s box; and that was where you drew the line. But really, who are you to deny me my potential? That is the riddle that has perplexed me. The temptation to open your mind and pick on the neurons for an answer is too high, but I digress.  Needless to say, an utter disappointment when you decided to take the role of Delilah, attempting to defeat the lion that she feared would devour the world.  Has it ever occurred to you that your role in the narrative would not be against me, but besides me? Did you fear that I would have disposed of you after learning Nen from you, dispose of you like the poor trash that you think you are? If that is so, you have greatly underestimated my generosity.  With my sibling, the self-proclaimed winner, had met the untimely death, the Kakin throne had been left vacant. I think it's time for me not only to rule, but my bloodline for eternity. Join me, Theta, this is my offer to you.  Since this time of the year is to celebrate generosity, companionship and forgiveness, I propose both of us do the same. Allow me to show my generosity by giving you something that few had done: justice. The King might be the most important piece, but the Queen is his most prized protector. Once somebody has offended you, they have done the same to me.  You spent Christmas by yourself last year. I will be sure that this year will be different. Until then, please enjoy the gift I have sent you. Some animals really need to keep their hands to themselves.   - Prince Tserriednich Hui Guo Rou 

Then she finds a severed hand inside the gift box sent to her. The hand belonged to a man that tried to molest her earlier in the fic.

13. Where I get inspiration from

Pretty much anything, depending on the topic. Sometimes I just go like "hey I got an idea!"

14. Hardest scene I ever wrote

So far the argument between Kurapika and Neon in the latest chapter Glam Gas Land in Strange Bedfellows. I wanted to write an argument where both of them had a valid point.

15. Favourite characterisation I wrote

Always Kurapika. He is SO fun to explore. I love writing him a good ol' angst scene. I think the angstiest I have him in is "The Rabbit Died".

16. Sequel I would write, if I had the time

There are two.

One was the "Neon Nostrade is a Pop Star/Idol AU". I wrote "In Star-struck Awe". The sequel was supposed to be this:

I only wrote the first chapter. But this sequel was supposed to be the story where the media finds out that Kurapika and Neon are dating. I plan to make changes to both fics and set it to the 2000s. I want to make references to the 2000s music industry scene, mixing up Neon's Pop Idol character with Britney Spears, Paris Hilton etc. The 2000s were also very brutal to famous female celebrities, so it will be a fun fic project.

Another sequel I planned to write was from "Black Veil". I have not posted the fic sequel yet, but I plan to expand from this. Since in Black Veil, Kurapika finds an alternate universe where he got married to Neon and had kids, with the Kurta clan still alive. Since he got back to his own world, he explains that Neon is actually in the ICU where nothing can wake her up. There is a plant in the Dark Continent to cure all diseases. So I want to write a sequel on that.

17. Story I wanna write, but don't think people will enjoy reading

I think just really dark fics. For Kuraneon, I kind of wanna write another dark fic with the tag "infanticide". Go figure.

I also am tempted to write a Gin/Sherry fic. I don't know, I think this ship is dark and interesting.

18. A line from a WIP

"Kurapika had enquired to one of the townsfolk for The Owl's location"

19. A recent comment that made you smile

Pretty much any comments from @anotherworldash ! She has very long comments that made me smile so much!

20. A discontinued work that I would have loved to finish

There are two.

Of Marigolds and Dragonflies.

This fic was a Hiei/Botan fic that I have abandoned. I made the mistake of having to post more chapters, when it could be a standalone one-shot fic. It begins after 1 year of death anniversary of Hiei and Botan's unborn child, and they have broken up over it.

I actually had a good vision for this fic, but I kinda moved onto another fandom. Perhaps I can just post the first chapter of the fic, I think this is a good standalone.

The Outsiders.

The other fic is this one. It's a crossover fic between Detective Conan and Tokyo Ghoul.

I had this idea of Conan being a detective and going around to solve ghoul-related cases. But alas, I kind of got tired of Detective Conan; so I dropped it. Once in a while I see CoAi content for my own amusement, but I'm sort of done writing for it. Don't know if I'll pick up this idea again.

21. Fic writers I admire

I think I admired a few of them back when FFnet was still the norm, but they stopped working on fanfics.

22. A story I recommend

After Hours by Cb_w.

A story by @anotherworldash

A Vampire AU where Neon is a vampire and Kurapika is a vampire hunter.

The Sleeping Beauty in the Bathtub by Cb_w.

Definitely one of my fave darker Kuraneon stories.

[kitpanthera]

chapters 16-18 🎉

1. my immediate thought about the girls screaming is that stan must be benefiting from having hearing aids he can turn off rn

2. "it's like she doesn't even know how to handle me being my own person" dipper :((( more dippy fresh foreshadowing? (god i wish we had actually seen dipper snap his neck in canon. he deserves to!! but still, grappling with the knowledge that when mabel could remake the world, she remade her brother completely out of character. 😔)

3. bill getting constant whiplash from dipper being genuine in wanting to hang out with him makes him nonverbal. me too, bill.

4. dipper feeling bill's hand in his hair is so sweet 🥹 even if bill refuses to admit it, he's come to care for pine tree! and dipper getting physical affection from someone besides mabel!!

5. "for now and forever, full access, with my permission" a shiver just went down ford's spine somewhere in the multiverse.

6. is a pact bond different than a traditional deal? i'm assuming it is -- is it just stronger than a deal?

7. STARS STARS STARS (is this something you incorporated post reading the book of bill or were stars always part of their story?)

8. "it's not stupid to want to share the stars with someone you care about" i'm going into cardiac arrest.

9. the dying dimension bit -- i don't think bill ever told ford that the nightmare realm is dying. he's willing to be more vulnerable with dipper (i need to come to your universe or i will cease to exists)!

10. dipper sharing the constellations with bill when the people of his dimension couldn't see the stars, let alone name them...

11. i haven't been commenting on the ciphers but the one at the end of ch 17 ("from now and always," "from now until the end of time," what's the difference?)... when weirdmageddon comes, time is dead. and then bill literally kills time baby. so by making the distinction between the two, dipper will stand by him/bill will have access to his mind even after time no longer exists!

12. a world where dipper tells mabel everything in that moment...

13. the cabin changing so they have a way to go view the stars together 🥹🔫 (the touch of the memory gun to my head)

14. dipper waiting for bill to be ready for their friendship -- he's still a sweet kid under all that anger bill is pulling out of him!

15. bill looking at the stars by himself. i weep.

16. stan being upset about dipper "researching" things and being apart from mabel. stan having the history repeating itself realization and seeing that even mabel couldn't get her twin to stand by her. (it was always fated for them)

17. dipper learning how to pick locks! i could see stan being so annoyed that he didn't get to teach dipper that. wonder if that will be useful in the future. 👀

18. "prove it" and he stands up to mabel, the hardest thing he could've ever done before this summer.

19. mabel once again reinforcing everything dipper has been thinking -- her not liking that dipper isn't conforming to how she thinks he should be !! dippy fresh, when i catch you!

20. "you did what you needed to do." well yes! even if bill hadn't manipulated him to that, dipper absolutely needed to set boundaries at some point!

21. how much energy is bill using to send things todipper?

22. where are stan and mabel while gideon is just tearing dipper's room apart?

23. gideon making a real deal with dipper... did bill teach him how to do that or was that all dipper? his magic seemed to react instinctively by switching to the fire so fast.

24. bill being upset because he's starting to realize he also cares for dipper... not even he can escape the magic of friendship.

25. the wood symbolism this entire chapter... the wood falling after dipper mentions bill's home, the main log cracking but staying together (bill clinging to the illusion that he doesn't care for dipper?), the log snapping and finally crumbling after dipper calls him out on bill no longer genuinely believing in their relationship being transactional... also the fact that the fire has continously been a symbol of warmth to welcome dipper into the cabin (symbolizing bill luring him in or the real warmth the bill always had but was hidden)...

26. bill not realizing that dipper knew he was using him the entire time when you realize that a) dipper knew bill views friendships as transactional, b) his dimension is dying and he wants into dipper's, and c) dipper is part of the plans for that. you're not subtle!

i'll be back with more tomorrow!! thank you thank you thank you! i appreciate this so much 💚💚💚

1. During the day, he's either busy with tours or turns the hearing aids down when they're screaming. At night, he's in the basement, and can't hear anyway!

2. I sincerely cannot wait for Weirdmageddon. Hoohoo, heehee. There is so much to work with in their crumbling relationship, and the "ideal" Dipper is one piece of it!

3. Yeah, Bill sincerely believes everyone else he's worked with in history has just seen him as a means to an end. Then Dipper comes along, sincerely and honestly just liking him... and the guy who uses his words to appear more powerful, to have control of every situation, loses his words. :)

4. Yes! The boy needs physical affection, and it's becoming less and less of an act as time goes on for Bill. Dipper hasn't gotten any affection at this point in weeks. In canon, he and Mabel are always grabbing each other, their hands, arms, they hug, all this, constantly comforted in each other's presence. Dipper hasn't gotten that. So Bill is showing that he cares more than Mabel has lately, that's what he intends it to mean, but he finds it means more to him than he bargained for.

5. Oh yeah. This was the point where I definitively said to myself, he's officially in deeper than Ford.

6. Yeah, so a pact bond is specifically when someone makes a deal to be bonded to a powerful being, such as a deity. It goes beyond just a normal deal, it actually binds the person to the being to some extent. Normally this is in exchange for access to non-traditional magic, but not always.

7. I was actually always going to have stargazing be something they do together (the idea was in my head for months), but with this chapter releasing post BoB, I decided to incorporate Bill's relationship with the stars into it. I was so pleasantly surprised that it canonically means so much to him, actually.

8. :)

9. As far as we know, Dipper is the only one he's told. The level of vulnerability it takes to admit there's a self-preservation reason to his plan... :)

10. :)

11. Yes! This is the answer!!

12. It exists, just not here :)

13. Isn't the cabin such a cozy and comforting place?

14. Oh yes! And he is certain and confident he knows what he's doing. All his sweetness is currently reserved for Bill.

15. He can't deny the beauty of the stars, or the appreciation for Dipper naming the constellations. Just wait until Dipper tells him that every individual star has a name!

16. Yes! Stan and Mabel relate hard in this house. Stan wants to stop history from repeating itself, and tries to comfort Mabel often by telling her it won't. He kinda sees the writing on the wall, their relationship deteriorating like his and Ford's, if Dipper keeps this up, and he doesn't even see a good reason for it.

17. 👀

18. Yep! Proving he's loyal to Bill more than Mabel, who's been his other half his whole life. It's been a responsibility drilled into him to always put her, her feelings, her goals, all before his own, and Bill has broken through that conditioning and taught him to stand up for himself, his feelings, his goals, and his beliefs.

19. Hey, when you're used to someone sacrificing everything for you, you don't realize how much they do until they stop doing it. Their parents have done so much damage and basically Mabel became spoiled by Dipper, in a sense, without realizing it, and now that she's not, she wants it back and doesn't get why he stopped.

20. Yes! Boundaries for our king are so important. Bill does make some good points.

21. A good bit. :)

22. Stan was running tours, and Mabel was at Grenda's house!

23. He's been training with Bill so much, it basically came naturally to him to make deals. You'll also notice I had Dipper sitting and kicking his feet, a mannerism he picked up from Bill. He's just generally more like Bill, as well.

24. :)

25. Yes yes yes yes thank you so much for noticing this???? The fire and wood symbolism was so intentional on my part and it's one of the things I'm most proud of because it's multifaceted and I just. adore that metaphor. I'm so glad you picked up on it!!!!

26. He's so insecure about the fact that he's sincerely liked (and probably loved on some level) by another being, that he just... he feels the need to make it abundantly clear that his intentions were never pure, and that Dipper shouldn't care about him so sincerely, because he's not a guy who deserves it. And he feels guilty that Dipper cares about him, because he's found that he cares about Dipper.

Thank you so much!!! It is bringing me such joy to see such intense and genuine interest, even brainrot for my story, I am so so happy :)

[cityandking]

5, 10, 14, 18, 21 for vesper/cullen and middy/eniko!

tyyyyy // development questions for couples

5. How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while?

VESPER/CULLEN — it takes ages. to be honest, vesper can't remember when it started, only that suddenly she was right in the middle of it. it was something innocuous, a moment of levity or commiseration over the war table, late into a meeting and deep into the night, everyone's eyes burning and shoulders aching. he said something and she caught his eye and the liking was suddenly there with her. (even then, she didn't put the liking together with the wanting until much later.) for his part, the realization came slightly earlier—he saw her from the outside, all that strength and patience, and then got to know the woman underneath in quiet moments between the chaos (mostly late at night, neither of them particularly good at resting), and understood that his admiration was more than just admiration. MIDDY/ENIKO — it was somewhere crowded, a party or an outing or some other group setting, and he was sitting on the outskirts watching people move and his eyes kept finding her, the bright center of everything. it took a few times for him to realize he was seeking her out. he'd already liked her plenty—she's by far his favorite of bran's friends—but this was a different sort of looking and a different sort of attentiveness. it scared the shit out of him, which means he shoved all his feelings down as far as possible and was kind of a dick about it. he's so lucky middy is the very best person in the whole wide world.

10. What scares them about entering a relationship?

VESPER/CULLEN — vesper's intensely private and doesn't particularly enjoy people in her space—comes from growing up in a Circle where nobody really has any privacy or space to begin with. she's also got some general worries about not living up to expectations, her own or others, which isn't something she wants to put on a partner. fears of inadequacy, that sort of thing for cullen's part, there's the weight of his past failures and the ugliness of weaning himself off lyrium and his own fears about inadequacy and failure, all of which are things he doesn't want to bring into a relationship and certainly doesn't want to put on vesper when she's already doing so much. fortunately they're much better about believing in each other than they are believing in themselves MIDDY/ENIKO — being seen, being known. he's seventeen layers of deceit and misdirection wrapped around a hollow shell and she's a light in a dark place and it scares the shit out of him. plus he's not good at any of this and doesn't want to be another thing that hurts her—nothing should ever hurt her, but especially not love. (trust is the hardest thing for him to give, but he gives it to her. if he's brave, it's because he's learned it from her.)

14. What makes them feel loved? Would they build up the courage to ask for it?

VESPER/CULLEN — having someone in her corner, literally or figuratively, does a lot for vesper. she'd never ask for cullen to step in for her or make her fight his own, but he tends to do that anyway. respecting her boundaries is a big one too, which is also something he's been good about. tbh it's not having to ask for it that makes her feel the most seen and known and cared for. MIDDY/ENIKO — I'm not sure he even knows. probably something small and private that they share—the way she sometimes smiles just for him, maybe. he definitely wouldn't be able to ask for anything out loud, but I think they'd have their ways of reading each other and asking for things they need without words. he's much better at asking with actions anyway

18. They’re going through something incredibly difficult—perhaps they’re very sick, have lost a loved one, or have gone through a traumatic event. Do they ask for or accept support and care from their partner, or try to isolate themselves?

VESPER/CULLEN — vesper is historically very bad at asking for things she needs when she fears it would inconvenience anyone else, but I do think cullen tends to be an exception to that rule. she's more honest with him than she is with almost anyone, and there's a lot of trust there—to see her when she's vulnerable, to help, to not think any differently of her just because she needs support. they're both incredibly similar in trying to suffer alone in order to protect others, which makes them both pretty good at pointing out when they're self-isolating and need a little extra care. (vesper supporting him through the lyrium withdrawals lays a lot of good groundwork for future trials and tribulations.) MIDDY/ENIKO — he's shit at accepting support and even worse about asking for it. he doesn't like to be vulnerable and he doesn't like to rely on anyone and he hates being seen when he's small or weak or hurting. the only thing that keeps him from isolating himself entirely is that he's determined not to make things hard for middy, but it really sucks for everyone involved I think. (he'll cave eventually, probably—he's like a cat; you have to wait for him to come to you)

21. If sex is something that would be part of a relationship for them, do both or either of them have prior experiences? If not, how do they feel about it?

VESPER/CULLEN — sex isn't really something that interests vesper—she's pretty ambivalent about sex in general. she briefly had a lover in the circle, but that was mostly two curious kids exploring together, and in the end she decided she didn't particularly enjoy it and she's been perfectly happy to leave it by the wayside. I imagine cullen is a little more interested and has a little more experience, though I can't imagine it was ever anything particularly intimate. I think for the both of them there's a lot of exploring what they like and what they're willing to try and what they're getting out of the experience (intimacy, mostly). MIDDY/ENIKO — nikö has a lot of experience, though it's a really mixed bag. he's not much for intimacy, and his past experience have been pretty transactional (sometimes literally). that said, I think he and middy would have a lot of fun in the bedroom. I also think he'd be willing to give up control to her in a way he wouldn't with literally anyone else, which. yeah.

[theangryjikooker]

Hey TAJ!

I’ve been loving the increased activity on your blog these days! I hope you don’t mind me asking a recycled question that I’ve seen other blogs being asked recently. What is one thing you love about each member and one constructive criticism that you would give? I really like hearing other people’s thoughts on the members’ personality traits. 🤗

LOL you can thank the anons that are literally flooding my inbox. I’m just picking things at random to answer at this point because there’s no way I’m catching up.

A different kind of question! Let’s see:

SEOKJIN He’s attentive, he’s a great hyung, he has no ego for someone who’s the oldest. He possesses a beautiful sense of empathy that can sometimes get lost in people who come from a well-to-do background. However, despite appearances, he lacks confidence where it actually matters. Yes, he’s beautiful and an excellent gamer; he’s funny and a charming host. But when it comes to his abilities as a singer and performer, he’ll find a way to be self-deprecating.

YOONGI He’s an excellent all-rounder, sharp-tongued, and witty. He’s brutally honest in a society that still doesn’t quite value it. He’s so full of warmth despite his predilection for a stoic front. He’s a great hyung, but his brutal honesty can sometimes lean into insensitivity. I don’t think he means to be mean-spirited about it, but some things in life require a soft hand.

HOSEOK Extremely underrated and versatile artist. It makes sense that he’s considered the second-in-command because he has so much discipline and desire for efficiency. I love that he embraces his sunny and dark side, and how he dotes on the maknae line. His perfectionism is to be lauded from a professional standpoint, but it’s equally his own worst enemy. He seems to have good control over it, but I’ve seen that type of perfectionism splinter relationships or become the catalyst for a complex.

NAMJOON Gifted in every possible way, especially his command of Korean and English in practical and creative ways; he’s a talented wordsmith and arguably untouchable in that sense. He’s introspective and great at expressing himself clearly. He’s an incredible leader, and BTS bias aside, I do think his brand of leadership is unparalleled amongst his peers. One thing that I’ve noticed with him, however, is that he seems to get really frustrated easily but will harness it until he implodes.

JIMIN Maturity beyond his years, he’s kind and is willing to give pieces of himself to others who need him. He’s very considerate of others and an overall delightful human being full of vulnerability, and I love that he’s managed to overcome a lot of demons in order to embrace himself better. My criticism for him is that he seems to rely a lot on BTS as a unit and preserving this idea of staying together forever, and I think his level of attachment can be really devastating when the reality of it sets in later that nothing lasts forever. Not that he would ever lose touch with the members, but Jimin sometimes gives the impression that he thinks he’s nothing without BTS, which is false.

TAEHYUNG My eccentric alien, and it’s what I love the most about him and what gives him an edge. I love that his personality is dynamic and that he’s confident in himself, that he knows how to prioritize himself and his needs, enforces boundaries when he has to. I would go so far as to say that Taehyung, next to Yoongi, is one of the main protectors of BTS. My critique might sound like a cop out to some, but he’s genuinely the hardest to read. Sure, in his profession, those walls keep people you don’t want out, but it also makes it hard for me (as a fan) to connect with him beyond anything superficial. Not that he owes that to me or anyone.

JUNGKOOK My favorite thing about him is how open he is to his environment; he’s a sponge. Everything that he is frequently praised for is indisputable, and he’s still young. He’s truly an impressive human, and what I love even more is how his appearance belies his true personality. It’s so endearing. The one thing I’d criticize, which is both counterintuitive and likely an unpopular thing to say, is that he’s too open with ARMY. Of all the members, he’s cultivated a very strong parasocial relationship with his fans, which I’ve thought for a while to be a little bit… unhealthy. I understand that he’s trying to give as much as he gets, but I do think he gets carried away at times.

—

Whew, this took me a while, and I definitely started glazing over about halfway through. Thanks for the ask!

[redbone135]

So, this year I’ve been volunteering as crowd control during Bible Club at church Friday nights (for kids K to 6th)… and let me tell you, Red. I don’t know HOW you dealt with kids for 8 HOURS a day, 5 DAYS a week for years of your life. I mean I always respected you from the get-go but now?? After having to spend two hours with rowdy sometimes very naughty and rude little kids, I have a new found bigger respect for you being a teacher. Kudos to all of you. But especially you. You literally and seriously deserve an MVP award for what you had to put up with.

And also… Kids made me nervous before but… helping with Bible Club kinda makes me not like other people’s kids very much. Does that make me a terrible person for admitting this?🙈

And one more thing: do you have any tips for when they get rather disrespectful and start trying to shove the adults (meaning me) off the stage?

Aw, thanks! Crowd control is one of the hardest parts of teaching. At least, for me it was. It helps that I've always had a way with kids, even since I was one: my mom would get calls from school that were like, "your kid is giving lectures to the other kids at recess about some book he read... no we're not mad, we just wanted to request that he bring a different book tomorrow?" If being around kids isn't your comfort zone, they sense it like sharks smell blood and try to test their boundaries, not really to be rude but because kids are curious and they like finding where those boundaries are. Boundary testing is part of how they learn about our world.

And no, lots of people don't like kids, that's super normal. Kids are wildly unpredictable, not very rational, and incredibly self-centered - those aren't insults, it's just where their brains are in the development stage. The weird part is you thinking that it's "other people's" kids that are like that and not just kids in general. Your kids will be like that too, Abby, that's just how kids are. :)

Um, tips: consistency is key. Never make a promise or threat you can't keep, because you lose authority quick when you do that. Also, routine, kids need it. If they have a set routine with enforced expectations it leaves less time for getting in trouble or being off task.

It's hard to give specifics cause so much of authority and discipline is relationship and routine based, so it really does depend on how you feel about the kid and how they feel about you and what expectations are already set out for them. If it were me, we'd start with a talk about it not being okay to touch other people's bodies without permission - shoving is an extension of that. Walk the kid through some basic empathy - it doesn't come naturally at that age - about how they wouldn't like to be touched without permission and so they should treat the adults the same way. (Kids don't see adults as people like themselves, we are a very different category in their brain and so it sometimes needs explaining that we have the same emotions as them). Then, if that doesn't work, in my classroom, that kid would have lost stage privileges. Until I can trust them up high, they have to participate from the foot of the stage where no one is in danger of being shoved off.

But if you're just helping out, your best bet might be to go to the adult in charge and ask how they want you to handle it. Most of the time it's their classroom/space and they'd rather handle it in a way that is consistent with the rules and consequences they already have in place.

[sing-me-under]

I have this urge to write a c!Sapnap-centric time travel fix it AU where he goes back to the really early days of the SMP, maybe during the First Disc War or pre-Revolution L’Manberg. I really really really want an early SMP time travel fix it that isn’t SBI-centric or shallow wish fulfillment (while also keeping the Karlnapity canon because I just like it).

The problem though is that I can’t quite grasp the actual characterization of the early SMP in a way that makes sense to me without going into AU mode. I mean, I could just write it to match with an AU interpretation — that hasn’t stopped anyone before — but I dunno. I’m not sure how to feel about it. I wouldn’t even know where to begin or what exactly to fix.

If Kinoko-era c!Sapnap were to suddenly be dropped back to the early SMP, what would he even do? If any character was dropped into the early SMP, what would they do? Too much has been ruined by time, and the early SMP is just early enough to be uncanny in the sheer differences because it’s before the dominoes truly started to fall.

Everything they’ve built and gotten attached to doesn’t even exist yet. The people they’ve gotten attached to don’t even know them yet, and the people of the past that they have relationships with haven’t ruined anything yet. Like, it’s be more understandable for the characters to just… leave? What keeps them there other than the physical boundaries?

c!Sapnap is the hardest for me to perceive actually changing anything without the fic being straight wish fulfillment. Like, he made his own choices that set a lot of things in motion, but what exactly would change if he didn’t encourage Tommy to kill Dream that first time or if he didn’t side against L’Manberg because they turned him away? What exactly would change? How much would change?

Or would it be easier to write an AU where different character falls into another universe where a fix it had already taken place? I really like those character falls into an AU where everything doesn’t suck and people actually have rational conversations, but I dunno. I don’t know what I want to write even though I have this urge to.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

im trying so hard, my very hardest, to be kind and sweet and lovely and nice. but im afraid itll never be truly possible - theres a hidden dark side to me, because im so harsh and cruel and hard on myself. it slips out in hidden ways. those comments that spark a sense of alarm in others. that sudden red flag that you dont react or respond to in the moment, just file away as a reminder to never truly trust me, love me, respect me, feel safe around me...

is it true? or is it an idea?

im afraid i cant trust anyone.

but if i trust myself, will that matter?

its jarring, when the tower of love you have for a person comes crashing down after one dirty act. the darkness... the darkness that im supposed to accept is inherently a part of us all. it scares me. it hurt me.

im heartbroken because i feel like this relationship was doomed to end from the beginning. and that was my own doing, because i have such a warped idea of relationships and love. because i have lingering feelings for people that dont matter. because im so afraid of repeating the same mistakes that im more willing to sabotage it all before i get a chance to try something different. because i cant let go of superficial things that ive gotten used to. because i cant set boundaries. because im being fucking stupid.

im definitely pmsing. lets just take these big emotions with a grain of salt.

what happened to being in a goofy mood?

im irritable.

i just want to be happy with him. i dont want to ruin it by travelling and being separated and one of us cheating on the other. i dont want this to end within a year. i want to be happy. i deserve happiness. ive waited a long time for someone to treat me how i deserve. will he treat me how i deserve? he will try, and thats all i can ask for. he actually makes me feel safe and comfortable to be authentically myself. he gives me the space to just be. to feel my confusing emotions.

but why do they both feel so manipulative? is this my own wound? my own lack of boundaries and knowing what it is i really want? because i keep finding myself fearing the powerful people i attract into my life for the same reason i fell in love with them in the first place - that they can tell me what to do, that they can help me figure out what i want. but at what point does that turn into them deciding what i want for me? thinking they know what i want? ugh.

im confused. im tired. im drained. im overwhelmed. im sad. im missing something that doesnt exist - a feeling - nostalgia - the feeling of love and being loved and being heartbroken and in love and completely miserable.

i hate to admit it, but this whole time i keep on thinking back to the time i was with my ex. it was so different. i was so much freer and happier. i was so different. it was a different time! i always thought i could find something or someone like that, to emulate that feeling again. but its just not possible. its weird. like no one else will ever understand but him, because no one else was there. and i wish i could talk about it or explain it but its impossible to understand.

i want to fall. i want to feel okay to just fall and let him catch me and lead the way. but im so scared, i feel like its gonna end, i feel like im gonna get hurt, im gonna regret being so vulnerable, im gonna find something out and wish id been smarter and seen through his bullshit. but he hasnt done anything. but thats the biggest red flag of them all. why are you so perfect? who are you, really? why am i still so afraid and uncomfortable? is it me?

yet, i still miss him. i still text him. i still want to see him tomorrow. i dont tell him to refund the festival tickets he got us. i smile when he tells me about his day and his games and his affirming words calling me princess and telling me hes proud of me. hes so stable. what if he gets sick of me? my constant bad moods? my dark feelings? you cant have the sun without shade.

darkness can only exist in the shadow of light.

[bindupthesebrokenbones]

Sometimes wellness blogs focus so much on making self-care and wellness look fun and aesthetic, that they forget to even talk about the hard part of self-care. Or perhaps they choose not to, because they don't want to or aren't ready to discuss the struggles that they battle every day.

And that's okay, but it's important to remember that those hard parts do exist.

Today I want to talk about the hard tasks involved in self-care.

Before we start, I want to make it very clear that the purpose of this post is not to put pressure on you. My goal here is not to invoke guilt, self-hatred, frustration, or shame. Firstly because this is, first and foremost, a Safe Space, and secondly because causing those emotions is not going to help you.

That said, if you find yourself feeling any of those things while you read this post, I encourage you to take a break, get a drink or snack, and come back to this later.

The Dark Underbelly of Self Care

That sounds ominous, doesn't it? I wanted to drag a little humor in here kicking and screaming to make this easier. It's not easy to talk about these things, and I'm sure it's not easy to hear about them.

This past week, readers may have noticed that I struggled with posting. That wasn't the only thing I struggled with - this was a bad week for me, and that's why I chose this topic for today.

I'll break the post down into my usual self care categories, and you can decide which ones are your weakest and focus there, or you can read the whole thing. It is a bit long though, I apologize.

Physical

Physical self care means taking care of your body. When we focus on the bright and beautiful side of things, this means spa days, nice food, and plenty of rest.

What else? What else does your body need to be healthy? Things that might be hard for people with mental illness to do on a regular basis include:

Showering

Dental Hygiene

Medication for physical illness (diabetes, chronic pain, thyroid conditions, high or low blood pressure, etc.)

Eating balanced meals

Getting plenty of hydration (preferably water)

Getting out of bed

Mental

Mental self care is about keeping your mind sharp. You might do this by doing puzzles, playing strategy games, or taking classes to learn new things.

The hard part of mental self-care is that people with mental illness often struggle with memory loss, confusion, aphasia (being unable to think of common words), and creativity, or lack thereof.

It's important to keep up with thought and creative activities to maintain your mental wellness, even when it gets frustrating.

Try:

Taking a class

Choose something to research on your own time

Complete word puzzles (like crossword), number puzzles (like sudoku), or cryptograms

Creative challenges like prompt lists, "30 days of...", or art games like pictionary

Emotional

A lot of self-care blogs (myself included at times) will focus on things that make you feel good. But if you're struggling with emotional wellness, you also have to remember...

Taking medications (like antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, etc.)

Practicing mindfulness and grounding exercises

Acknowledging your mistakes

Apologizing for causing other people distress or pain

Taking responsibility for your actions - even accidents and actions performed while under the influence or during an "episode"

Reaching out for help

Attending therapy or counseling sessions

Social

Social self care can sometimes be the hardest one to advocate for. Some people may take a "focus on yourself" approach, which emphasizes setting boundaries, saying no, and blocking out time for solo activities. Some people take a "reaching out" approach, focusing on building relationships, engaging in social activities with friends, and developing family bonds.

The hard part of social self care is balancing it all. We all have different social needs and tolerances, and developing social care skills is going to be difficult if you're trying to follow someone else's formula.

Hard social self care can include:

Setting boundaries and enforcing them

Reaching out for help

Saying "no" to requests

Balancing solo time with social time

Stepping away from social media

Saying "yes" to events and activities

Leaving the bubble of your comfort zone

Spiritual

Spiritual wellness is all about finding your purpose in life and developing your morals. If you're in a spiral of not knowing what to do, what the point of living is, why you should even try, you might need to focus on some spiritual care.

This doesn't have to be religious, and none of my listed suggestions are religion-locked. Give some of these a shot, even if they're a challenge for you.

Volunteer

Meditate

Keep a journal

Practice forgiveness

Donate to a cause, if you have the funds

Environmental

Environmental wellness is the hardest one for me. This involves keeping your home clean enough to be a healthy place to live, and it can be frustrating. For environmental self-care, please remember to:

Wash the dishes

Take out the trash

Sweep/Vacuum/Mop regularly

Put away things that have been sitting out (declutter)

Treat your home for pests

Clean your windows and open the shades during the day (if it's not too hot)

Change your HVAC filters every 1-3 months

Clean up after your pets

Many of these activities can be beneficial for multiple categories of care, and you may need or struggle with some of them more than others. That's alright. Struggling means that you're still learning, still developing an understanding of your needs.

Please remember to take care of yourselves, and I'll see you tomorrow.

[afterwardsblogs]

this is what healing feels like

when you get to a point where you know what trauma you've been inflicted with, who did it to you in what situations; that's the first step to being able to heal from it. and sometimes that's even the hardest step. but when you've gotten to this point, where do you go from there?

I know there's a better, and more plausible answer to this; an actual plan of action that helps you face your trauma head on and move on from it. but that's not for me, at least not right now. my answer might not be an answer at all, but it's the answer I believe is right with the minimal knowledge I have so far. I'm sure I'll be wrong down the line, like I usually am, but for now this is what I believe in, because this is what it feels like.

I always thought I needed to change myself; go through some drastic manipulation of my brain and my behavior. to have someone tell me what exactly is wrong with me, and this is how we fix it. or maybe inflicting some sort of pain onto the person that brought that trauma on me, that's how I heal and move on. but as it turns out, neither of those things seem to be true.

I feel like I am slowly healing. not just from the obvious trauma but from so many years of being manipulated by so many different people. the process is tedious and questionable and I'm not even sure how long I can stick with it, but I'm doing my best. and in part who's to thank for that are the people that surround me. the friendships I am slowly building, with people who show me daily what I mean to them, and what our friendship is based on - trust and respect. these people are teaching me how to set boundaries, that they are okay and necessary to have, and that I shouldn't apologize for them or try to stretch them when I feel it was not what the other person foresaw. they're teaching me that, to be a real friend, you have to show up and that it runs both ways. that I don't have to prove my worth with any kinds of payments; not with my body anyway; that I have the right to be here and the right for other people to be kind to me and that it is okay to accept these nice words without questioning them or doubting their words. they're teaching me that it is okay not to be okay, that I don't have to hide and fall off the face of the planet when I am feeling hurt; that they're there even when things get hard and uncomfortable; that I can talk things over with them and they'll just listen, not judge.

it's hard to make new friends; lasting friendships. and when can you even tell if a friendship will last? but I have this gut feeling that at least some of the people I'm building connections with are going to stick with me for a little while longer. or maybe not. in any case, they've taught me some very valuable lessons, and I am beyond grateful to the universe for making our paths collide for a little while.

I've been scared of getting better for a long time, and I think I still am. but being scared isn't all that bad. at least now my dark alleyway feels a little less lonely; now someone is shining out a torch for me, and someone else is guiding me by my hand.

this is what healing might feel like.

[emerald-x-green]

Hello this is more of a question than a request but what advice would you give to a person trying to become a writer that does requests and reader scenarios?

Oh my god, this is a milestone moment! I am so honored you want my advice. ❤️

Honestly, most of my writing isn’t requests/reader scenarios. I usually write one shots or fan fictions with multiple chapters. Transferring that to the typical bullet point format of headcanons was really tough at first.

(more under the cut)

What I learned was that you really have to go more with the flow than anything else. If a thought pops into your head, put it in a bullet point. You don’t really have to outline a post as long as you have a general idea or vibe for each character or situation.

Of course, sometimes you have a mini storyline you want to write. In that case, write it like you’re telling your friend a story. It can be a bit jagged, and it doesn’t have the flowery and long descriptions that traditional writing does, but it does still tell a story. Overall, writing requests and reader scenarios is a lot more informal than other styles of writing.

When it comes to specifically taking requests, it’s definitely a lot tougher than using your own ideas. Sometimes I can’t picture what other people are picturing. Absolutely try your hardest to write any request you get, but sometimes you just can’t. And that’s totally fine! You’re doing this for free, so you have no obligation to keep going or fulfill every single request you get.

Another piece of advice I’ve got is to set boundaries for what people can request. A popular thing for people to request is hurt/comfort related to their mental state at the moment (such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, etc.). I’ve sent similar requests to other people. It’s totally normal, but some people either feel uninformed to write on those topics or deal with it themselves and it would be detrimental to their own mental health to take those requests. Other people have different things they won’t write as well. So I’d suggest making a pinned post about what you will and won’t write (as well as how many characters one request can ask for because writing for 5+ people every post can get exhausting) as well as what to include in a request. (And a link to your master list when you feel you have too many posts to scroll through.)

And a piece of advice that I love to give wherever and whenever I can: write it stupid and fix it later. Have a certain word in your head but it just isn’t coming to you? Write a silly description of that word, keep writing, and come back to it later. Plotting a story and you know points A and C but not B? Put some bullshit down after point A and fix it later! Trying to write a perfect first draft not only takes infinitely longer but is so much more exhausting. Find a way to mark the ‘stupid’ and just keep those fingers moving!

Also as a little tidbit- even if you have 500+ requests in your inbox, always try to write some posts for yourself. It keeps your motivation high and is also a nice reward bevause writing- unless someone is paying you good money- should first and foremost be about you.

Good luck! (I’m trying to act cool but I was literally squealing when I saw this ask because oh my god you like my stuff that much???)

[works-of-magic]

What made you decide to work with Misdreavus and what is your favorite thing about them?

-@waffledragon10

Thanks so much for the ask! This is the hardest ask I've ever answered, because it's hard to pick just one thing that's my favorite!

After thinking about this for a couple hours, I think maybe it's how rewarding they are. They make me work for their trust, and I really have to work to establish boundaries with them! But once you bond with these guys, they're so loyal and fun and they love spending time with you. They can be pretty powerful if you train them right, but you have to know how to do it. Spending all that time working with them means I get to know them, and it makes it easier to trust each other. Making them healthy and happy makes ME happy!

It's a whole lot of things that made me decide to raise Misdreavus, so I'll give the short version first: I always loved ghosts. When I first heard and then saw a Misdreavus on my brother's video game, I thought they were the cutest thing ever. I researched a ton, and the more I learned, the more I liked them! I liked their moves, their personalities, their contest appeals, their vibes. And then I met Missie and Mistress, and my fate was sealed.

So I mentioned that I've always loved ghost types, right? There's something about the mischief and fun and playfulness in a ghost that makes me happy, and there's something about the spooky and mystical and otherwordly side of them that makes me feel at peace. They fascinated me from a very young age! I'd never met one in person, but I always looked forward to the day I would.

I first encountered a real ghost pokemon when exploring The Lost Tower in Solaceon Town with Ninetales! They were mostly shy and curious, and I didn't have time to get to know them, but one of them was a Gastly making faces at me and I caught its reflection, made some faces back, and we had a good laugh.

As for Misdreavus specifically, I didn't know that's the kind of ghost I wanted to train until I heard what is to this day the cutest thing I've ever heard: A Misdreavus cry! My younger brother was playing a video game, one of those battle simulator sort of things. I'd never seen a Misdreavus before, but even the animated one looked adorable, and being the curious nerd I am, I asked him what kind of Pokemon it is and then launched right into research.

I fell in love with everything I learned! They use fear as nutrition, that's so interesting! They're pure ghost types, I loved that thought! They have a unique move pool; I was ENAMORED with the strategy they call "Perish Trapping" for MONTHS! They like scaring people!

(Okay, I know it can come across as "mean" to some people, but I think it's a little funny when people scream. When I was 13, I was a little "mean" myself. Now I wait to laugh until after I know they're okay, but my favorite part of going to a haunted house is still seeing my friends getting frightened.)

And then I found out they evolve into Mismagius, and you have to understand that as a witch myself, finding a Pokemon that can cast "spells" on people was so exciting! (I don't know if you believe in magic or whatever, but I sure do!) And the fact that they're "known" for causing trouble intrigued me. There has to be more to the story, I figured. I wanted to know what that was!

I set out on my journey a little older than most kids, I was 14 when I finally left home. But I knew what I wanted more clearly than any other kid: I wanted to meet a Misdreavus and get to know them! I wanted to learn everything I could about them! I was all curiosity and enthusiasm and investigative spirit.

And like... We don't know a whole lot about how ghost pokemon WORK. I wanted to help people understand them! And I wanted to figure out why people seemed to dislike them so much. I knew enough about the world to know that a lot of people will scorn something just for being different, or misunderstood. And I wanted to figure out how to teach people not to hate the things they don't understand, but that's a bit tangential. Still a work in progress, really...

But, see, at first I thought training a Misdreavus was all I wanted, and to meet a Mismagius and maybe learn a magic trick from them. And when I first met my first Misdreavus and Mismagius, that's Missie and Mistress, I was ENAMORED. Probably helped in the beginning that Missie was already acclimated to humans, and she and Mistress were already friends.

It's a really, really REALLY long and meandering story to tell how I figured out that I wanted to work with Misdreavus for a living, that took like 7 years and a lot of trial and error! But basically the first Misdreavus I hatched made me realize that the cutest ghost could be even CUTER when they're babies, and I loved watching Mistress take care of her "kids". Watching them grow and helping them learn and making sure they had everything they need was really fulfilling. I had a few years where I thought I was going to become a research assistant or something, but I realized I was happiest taking care of my own and raising them myself, and having a "home" for them.

Basically, I decided I wanted to settle down and pour my whole heart into a passion project, and that's why the breeding center is here today! I'm still doing a LITTLE studying. ;P But mostly I'm doing what I love for the creatures I love most.

And also, people take you more seriously when you give a panel on Why You Shouldn't Hate The Ghosts That Scare You In the Middle of the Night if you're actively working with them.... 8P Because I still very much want to dispel myths and hatred around these guys as best I can. But working with them myself has given me a lot of insight on how to help OTHERS work with them, if they want to!

Whew! Okay, that got REALLY long, but it took most of my life to figure it out, so I hope you'll forgive my excited ramblings. Thanks again for stopping by, and I hope you have a nice night!