#different) that i can handle before i just lose interest
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One thing I wish was understood a bit better about Twisted Wonderland.
Everyone in this game has trauma or personal struggles and it's NOT a competition of who has it worse. Honestly, sometimes I wish everyone's traumas were discussed more in depth in the game like we get with each person who Overblots, but we don't have time for it. With the Overblot boys, their trauma is shoved directly into the spotlight and we hear exactly how their situations make them feel. But the rest of the cast, ALL of them, have personal struggles and/or trauma. This is just a small list of some of the issues each non Overblot student has.
Ace masks the fear he feels in a lot of situations, and he's got an inferiority complex on some level. Notice how he bullied the player and Grim in our first interaction? That is a sign of someone who is looking to feel better by pushing someone else down because they don't feel good about themselves.
Deuce grew up with a single mother who had to work multiple jobs to make ends meet, which causes him to worry about her, and he was a delinquent in middle school, which made his mom, the one person he worries over, cry. He lives with those regrets, but he's still got those old habits and he agonizes over the fact he's not academically where he'd like to be and his behavior regresses when in heated situations.
Trey has severe trauma at being screamed at for FIVE HOURS over giving Riddle ONE slice of tart, so much that his vitals are severely affected at the thought of Mrs. Rosehearts and he's heavily conflict avoidant.
Cater has had to move all the time and as a defense mechanism, refuses to be honest or get close to people because he doesn't want to get attached only to be ripped away from them.
Ruggie lives in EXTREME poverty when not at school. He struggles to make ends meet and he has to work so hard in a system that is DESIGNED to keep him in poverty, because many beastmen still prefer segregation in the Sunset Savannah.
Jack has one of the healthier mindsets, but he still struggles with being open and honest about his feelings, which makes it hard to have friends, and he struggled with watching Leona, someone he's idolized, fall short of what he believed of Leona.
Jade and Floyd are implied to have grown up in some form of crime family and both seem to have handled the fact their lives could be in constant danger differently. Both like things being interesting, but Jade seems to prefer seclusion and control, while Floyd enjoys scaring people off and having as much fun as he can before he goes.
Kalim is someone who has had multiple assassination attempts on his life, even from his own family. He masks behind a smile, but he's afraid to trust people, and when he DOES TRY to talk about it, it gets brushed off because he has money. Also, he has to deal with the fact Jamil has been undermining his ability to progress by not treating him as if he's capable at all.
Epel has been teased and bullied on how he looked to the point where he started instigating fights to ensure he wouldn't be teased. He also has to fall in line with what Vil wants because he made the error of picking a fight with Vil and getting his butt HANDED to him. To further add, Vil is NOT NICE about it when Epel resists, with one example being Vil grabbing him by the ear and pulling hard as a form of punishment.
Rook has deal with the fact that for being someone who is super perceptive and can notice details, he didn't realize Vil's feelings around Neige, likely because he was blinded by his own admiration for both of them and that's a bitter pill to swallow.
Ortho has to deal with being basically created as a replacement for dead Ortho Shroud, trying to figure out if he's just really a robot made by Idia with really good AI or more than that, and dealing with the fact he loves his brother so much, but his brother doesn't take care of himself and it's disheartening to watch Idia's self-destruction.
Lilia has so much war trauma, losing his loved ones, having been exiled, and so much other crap. Even so, he forced himself to put the war and his trauma about it in the past, where it belonged for the sake of his two sons who both lost so much to war, which is something Baur/Baul could NOT do which was to Sebek's detriment.
Silver has had to live with the idea that his adoptive father would likely outlive him, then is faced with the fact that his father is basically abandoning everything about their life in Briar Valley before he learns that his biological parents were the enemies of the person he serves and cares about, Malleus, and the only father he's ever known.
Sebek has grown up with internalized racism/speciesism against humans thanks to his upbringing and he basically rejects half of his heritage with how he treats his father. He does not even realize how hurtful his comments are until he's faced with those remarks being directed at him by a younger version of his grandfather.
And this isn't everything each student has to face. This is just broad strokes. Yana Toboso wrote a story about flawed people who all have gone through really hard and difficult things because that's the point. As Toboso said in a 2023 interview:
âHappy endings in Disney works come from righteous actions and love, but I believe that the villains are characters who do not get saved during the story. That is why, through this game, I want to portray the message that even if you get beat up all the way to a bad ending, you can grow from it and live your life without feeling discouraged.
Acting lame, obstinate, without hesitation, being open and honestâitâs not as bad as it sounds.Â
I would like to paint a positive picture of living honestly with yourself and not worrying about others.
In todayâs society there are so many people who live in fear of failure and are always walking on eggshells, but nobodyâs flawless. It is exhausting to try to live your life so that no one will hate you.â
Everyone, even people you don't know or do not like, have gone through things that shaped who they are. Sometimes, how we've adapted to handle the bad things that happen will force us to hit rock bottom. But you don't have to die when you hit rock bottom.
You can have terrible things happen to you and have maladaptive strategies to handle your experiences, but you aren't stuck that way forever. You can learn how to change your habits, learn to be okay with yourself, and work at being better than you were the day before.
Human growth is not linear. It's a bunch of taking steps forward and backsliding and learning and making mistakes over and over again and accepting failure, not as a testament to your character, but as part of the process of growth... and that's something all the students have to learn, not just the Overblot boys. Because all of them, every single one, are handling their own personal issues, even if it isn't shoved right in our faces.
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#ace trappola#twst ace#twst deuce#deuce spade#twst trey#trey clover#cater diamond#twst cater#ruggie bucchi#twst ruggie#jack howl#twst jack#twst jade#jade leech#twst floyd#floyd leech#kalim al asim#twst kalim#twst epel#epel felmier#twst rook#rook hunt#twst ortho#ortho shroud#twst silver#twst lilia#lilia vanrouge
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Chuuya's reaction to Dazai getting hurt during the Lovecraft fight has always been so interesting to me...

Because it's the kind of worry you'd never expect from a character as gruff as Chuuya, who had displayed nothing but hostility towards Dazai so far. Usually, characters that are labelled as "angry" or "anger issues" (which Chuuya is much more complex than that but you get my point) act more as a tsundere type of way when the one they "don't care about" gets hurt. And show their care in very, very subtle ways (ex. their eyes widen, their mouth parts and closes again, etc) before putting up their front once more.
Chuuya, however, is open, and vocal about it. His worry is clear not only to us, but to Dazai himself, the one he shouldn't be displaying the concern to (as per the cliche). Shouldn't it be some sort of secret that Chuuya does care? Isn't that what skk's dynamic has been shaping up to be until now?
I'm telling you- the way my mind blanked when Chuuya just casually.... showed concern not once, but twice, was a sight to see.


Besides, the context makes it much more confusing, because Dazai isn't some rookie, and Chuuya knows that more than anybody. He was the youngest executive in Port Mafia's history, of course he can handle a hit or two. Of course he'd seen him handle a hit or two, sometimes without batting an eye.
Heck, Chuuya himself was hurling Dazai like a ragdoll in their reunion, which was their last meeting. And you could argue that he was going easy on him, but Dazai has mostly withstood the same damage (as far as I could see), and Chuuya was as bitter as ever.
So that kind of contradicts both what we knew of Chuuya so far, and how their dynamic was shaped to be. I mean, that just makes Chuuya a hypocrite, yeah? What makes him care now, all of a sudden? What makes him care at all?
Well, to me, this backasswards reaction implies one (or more) of the following:
- Dazai rarely got physically hurt during their partnership and thus this is an unexpected thing for him to see (during a mission).
- The four years of separation made Chuuya unsure of how much Dazai can withstand physically now. Also the fact that he isn't in the mafia anymore, aka fighting enemy organizations on the weekly, would naturally make Dazai lose his touch in a way, what prompts Chuuya's reaction.
- Dazai getting taken off guard took him off guard which led to panic. Especially since the situation was (momentarily) out of their depth. Seriously wtf even was Lovecraft?
- During the dungeon scene Dazai was an enemy, while in the Lovecraft fight he was as an ally. The difference might be significant to Chuuya.
- This has always been Chuuya's reaction to Dazai getting hurt regardless of the situation.
- "Only I can hurt him like that" ahh logic
- Asagiri was still experimenting with their dynamic and thus there are some inconsistencies.
This scenario didn't play out again (after their reunion) for me to exactly determine which one is more plausible, but it is 100% canon for Chuuya to shamelessly show his concern and run to Dazai to check on him before properly dealing with their opponent, which I find to be such an appealing layer to their dynamic, and a good spin on the type of character he gets stereotyped as.
Bonus: Dazai also becomes a softy when Chuuya's hurt, especially post corruption. Dead Apple alone displays that multiple times.



All in all, Skk are doing a terrible job at maintaining their 'hostile' and 'antagonistic' relationship post their reunion. Freaks.
#I was too lazy to scour throgh SB and 15 and find Chuuya getting worried again which might prove the last points#tho I think they're the most unlikely#I love them displaying these sort of things openly#for Chuuya it's just natural to be concerned#it's natural to say 'because I trusted you'#and while Dazai isn't as expressive with his care#he never cowers away from calling Chuuya 'partner' after 4 years#or express that how he saved him was 'beautiful'#these things come so easily for them you wonder why they're even labelled as rivals at all#you *can't* give a clear label on their relationship#friends? they hate each other. Rivals? they care about each other. Partners? they haven't been for 4 years.#each one you put on gets contradicted at one point#and that's the beauty and fun of it#thanks for coming to my TED talk#bsd#bungou stray dogs#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#skk#soukoku#bsd analysis#bsd headcanon#bsd headcanons#skk analysis#bsd meta#J's post#J's writing âđ˝
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wake me from this dream | s.r.
in which you're struggling to come to terms with the kiss between Spencer and Cat, and you've finally reached your breaking point
margotober
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: cat adams, spoilers for 15x6 "date night", cheating word count: 1.44k a/n: rah rah rah not really sure how i feel about this one tbh!! let me know what you think because i'm my own worst enemy. this was a request so i hope i can at least appease the requester!!
Everything felt different. You had never felt so out of place somewhere you should fit in like a piece of a puzzle, but you had lost so many pieces of this puzzle that you didnât think it would ever be put together again.
The sheets on Spencerâs bed â that you had picked out â were so rough that they grated against your skin, but they didnât always feel that way. You tried so hard, tried to fall back into the rhythm that you felt with Spencer before his date, but there were so many befores with Spencer that you were starting to lose track of them all.
Maybe you just didnât get it. You didnât get it the way the members of the BAU did. You closed your eyes and you saw your boyfriend kissing Cat Adams â someone you thought was in the past.Â
So, you went back to routine, spending most of your time at Spencerâs apartment, you slept next to him at night, and everything looked the same, but it all felt wrong. Your relationship had once again been spurred into a state of limbo and you were beginning to think this was the one that you couldnât come back from.
Eyeing your clothing on the floor where it had been haphazardly discarded upon your return from Rossiâs party, you sighed, listening to the running water in the shower as Spencer cleansed the day away. He had offered for you to join him, but you opted for a later shower, not interested in sharing the warmth of the water. Looking at the bathroom door, cracked open to let steam out, you slipped out of bed and crouched to pull your clothes off the floor before opening the drawer of the things you kept here and putting on something more comfortable than the dress you had worn to dinner.
You took the inside of your cheek between your molars before taking another glance back at the bathroom door and pulling on an old pair of shorts and a t-shirt. In your haste to get ready for tonight, you had forgotten to bring different shoes, so you looked more than a little disheveled as you slipped on your heels. Then again, maybe passersby would just assume it was another night in the District of Columbia.
Quietly, you closed the door to Spencerâs apartment, locking the door behind you and allowing your fingertips to linger on the handle. Finally convincing yourself to head out, you raked a hand through your hair and made your way out to your car. When would he notice you had gone? Would he mind? Would he call?
Turning the key in the ignition, you sighed as the cool air blew through the vents of your car, and without another thought, you checked your rearview mirror and drove home.
It felt like a rather unceremonious end to your relationship with Spencer, the person who everyone was expecting you to be with forever. You just never expected forever to have an expiration date.
This couldnât be the end, though. You didnât want yourself to be another victim at the hands of a hitwoman, but that was just what she wanted. Wasnât it?
Your fears all came to mind while you dragged yourself through your shower routine, scrubbing every inch of your body as you considered your options. Without the presence of your boyfriend, you thought about what you really wanted.
You didnât even hear the knocking until you got out of the shower. At first, you thought it was one of your neighbors, but as you pulled on clean pajamas, you realized it was your door. You checked out the peephole to see Spencer, hair still wet, looking agitated. You had done that to him.
Opening the door, your stomach flipped as he looked at you with an unidentifiable emotion in his eyes, âYou just left.â He shrugged, the misery in his voice was made plain and it hurt you like a knife to the chest.
âI-â you started, quickly snapping your mouth shut. What were you going to say? I didnât mean to hurt you â but, hadnât you? Hadnât you intended on walking away?
Spencer held his hand up, signaling for you to stop, âI had been starting to wonder if you resented me.â
His words hit you like a strike across the face, âWhat?â Your question came out as light as a breath, there was a litany of emotions that you felt for Spencer, but resentment was far from any of them. He must have come right away, droplets of water still fell from his hair with every slight movement.
âI put your family in danger,â he answered as if that completely answered your question.
You frowned, âCat and Juliet put my family in danger,â you corrected.
Spencer shook his head dismissively, âAnd neither of them would even know who you are if it wasnât for me.â
Your lips parted, looking for the right words to put him at ease, âI donât care about that.â
He furrowed his brows, obviously confused at your statement, âYou donât?â
âNo,â you informed him, âI mean, I cared at the time because my family was in danger.â
Taking a deep breath, Spencer dragged a hand down his face, âPlease, Y/N⌠I justâŚâ his voice trailed off for a moment before coming back, âJust spell it out for me, baby. I canât guess. I canât.â
You mouth felt dry as you leaned your head against the doorframe, looking up at him with sorrow-filled eyes, âYou kissed her, Spence.â Your voice was soft, âYou kissed her and we never spoke about it again.â
Each stage of grief crossed over your boyfriendâs face as he took in the full weight of what you just told him, âI thought you wouldnât want to talk about it. I have been trying so hard to put everything back to the way it was before any of⌠this happened.â
Shaking your head, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, âYou canât!â You told him earnestly, âItâs just⌠you canât!â You said recognizing that you were beginning to raise your voice in the heat of the moment, and the last thing you needed tonight was a noise complaint. You opened your door for Spencer to come in, and he barreled through the doorway like he was on a mission. You took a deep breath, âThings are too different now, Spencer. It canât go back to the way that it was. We arenât machinery, thereâs no reset button for this.â
The hurt in his expression was so palpable that you nearly excused yourself to sit down, but you stood your ground and met him stare for stare. âWhat are you saying?â He asked, his voice gentle, like he was waiting for a fatal blow.
âIâm saying that we canât keep going on like this,â you said helplessly, âI canât keep going on like this.â Donât let this be the end. Donât let this end. Spencer, please.
Spencer shook his head, frowning for a moment before looking around your apartment, âMove in with me.â
Your jaw dropped, âPardon?â
âMove in with me,â he repeated. âMove in with me and we can make it different. We can move somewhere else if you donât want to move to my place, but I canât⌠I canât lose you, so letâs do something different.â
Now you really did need to sit down, âI canâtâŚâ you swallowed your tears before they had a chance to emerge, âI canât move in with you if this is just you looking at losing me and making an extreme decision to stop that from happening.â
Kneeling in front of you, Spencer took both of your hands and clasped them in his, âI am asking you to move in with me, unhindered and uninfluenced, because I love you. You want to see change, right? This is change. This is different and new and itâs nothing like before, so we wonât have to compare it to anything.â
You studied his eyes as they bore into your own, âI donât⌠I donât know.â
âIâll beg,â he insisted, âIâm already on my knees, just say the word, baby.â
It was impossible to resist the smile that grew on your face, âWhen did you get so dramatic?â
He sighed, his shoulders slouching forward as he set his forehead on your conjoined hands, âSo, we should start apartment hunting? Or we could buy a house?â
You reclaimed one of your hands, wiping tears from your face before playing with his messy, damp hair, âYeah,â you whispered, âbut Iâm not moving any of your books.â
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid angst#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds angst#spencer reid x fem!reader#written by margot#angstober#margotober
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-ËË MASTERLIST ËË-
Hello there! This is my first pick-a-pile reading here. I'm very sorry for not being able to post sooner, as I'm quite busy with life. But here you go! I'll do my very best to stay as active as possible here and do readings as much as I can.
Also, this reading is The Secret History-themed because I'm rereading the book for the 3rd time now! I really love it so so so much. I highly recommend that book btw! So before further ado, let's dive into your reading. X.
Love,
Beldam
DISCLAIMER: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. Not everything here will resonate nor will be accurate to your situation, as this is a collective reading, which means I'm connecting to a lot of energies. For more accurate and longer readings, you may book a reading with me. If you want to simply support me, you may tip me here.
If you struggle in choosing between these piles, you may choose more than one if you feel connected to them. For any other clarification, feel free to drop by or hit me up!
ââ§ âââ PILE ONE !
Your future spouse's first impression of you is that you embody both masculine and feminine energies, and you can switch it and turn either energies on and off whenever you want to, like a light switch. When it comes to your masculine energy, your future spouse thinks you're a passionate and adventurous person. I feel like your future spouse finds you hot in your masculine energy. You could be someone who likes to hit the gym and do weightlifting. You could be someone who has muscles. If you're a woman, you could have a big booty and you really have a lot of strength in your lower body, which your future spouse likes looking at. And if you're a man, you really have some muscles on your biceps and you have broad shoulders, which make your future spouse fold. As for your feminine energy, you're someone who's opinionated and doesn't hesitate to speak up. You're not scared of being "too harsh" for other people just because they can't handle the truth. You're someone who doesn't let anyone disrespect you in any way. You're willing to fight them if that means keeping your peace and this serves as a warning for them not to walk all over you again. Your future spouse likes that and admires you for that. I feel like your future spouse finds you extraordinary and different from everyone they have met in the past, and because of that, you pique their interest a lot. I also feel like that your future spouse thinks you tend to feel stuck and have a brain fog whenever you're stressed and overwhelmed. Because of this, they want to help you in any way they can and protect you. You also seem like someone who's willing to take the risk. It's like what they say, take the risk or lose the chance.
Signs: Aries, Libra, Aquarius, Leo, Gemini, Capricorn
Other signs: Business. Workaholic. Morning coffee. Spilling coffee when in a rush. Office as a workplace. White button-down blouse. Wavy hair. Blonde. Brunette. Long hair with highlights.
ââ§ âââ PILE TWO !
I feel like you'll meet your future spouse when everything in your life is falling apart so their first impression of you is that you're brave but miserable and you can't get your shit together. It's when you're so confused with what you're going to do with your life because nothing is going the way you want it to go. Your career is falling apart, you might be sick of your job and thinking of resigning but you can't find another job, or you just got fired, or you're really unemployed and need to get a job. During this time, you'll feel defeated. It feels like life will never be gentle to you, ever. You might be going to clubs or bar, drinking a lot, you might even be sleeping with a lot of people you just met that night and barely know. You have a messed up sleeping schedule, you're awake at night but asleep during the day. You don't eat healthy and you smoke a lot. There's a lot of confusion in this energy and I feel like you'll consider stealing money from people or selling drugs because you don't know how to help yourself financially. And this is where your future spouse comes along. I feel like your future spouse has been there and they also went through so much. They already know how to take a grip and take control of their life, and I feel like they will help you get through this. I'm seeing that when you meet, you might be drunk in the middle of the night and they will help you get sober so you can go home safely. I'm seeing a woman drunk and a man helping her, so most of you here could be women. Though they will take you home themselves and ensure that you're safe. But when you get home. Nothing will happen between you that night. Nothing sexual. They respect you a lot and will never take advantage of you. I feel like this is when you realize that they are the one for you, and they inspire you to change for the better. It feels as though this person leads you to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Signs: Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius, Pisces, Sagittarius
Other signs: Paris. Big cities. Bar. Clubbing. Alcohol and wine. One night stand. Junk food. Fries. Burger. Pizza. The movie The Menu. Anya Taylor Joy. Francis. French.
ââ§ âââ PILE THREE !
Your future spouse sees you as the one for them, the moment they see you. I feel like this is love at first sight, whether you like that concept or hate it. They think you're a happy and jolly person, it seems like, to them, you don't have any problems in life. And they know that of course, you have, because no one in this world has zero problems in life. But you make it look so easy, it's like you're not dealing with anything because you're a calm person and you have everything all-together in your life. It's like, even if you get upset over something, you know how to deal with it without crashing out. I also feel like you catch your future spouse's attention in the crowd. You both could be in a crowd of people, maybe at a business party of a friend's party. I see a woman holding a glass of champagne or any drink, talking to some people, and the man is walking towards her to approach her. So I feel like most of you in this pile are women too. I also feel like your future spouse might be someone who likes to make plans. They will let you be in your feminine energy while they handle everything. It's like, you don't have to worry about anything, I have it all under control. You or them or the both of you could be asking people about each other because you have a lot of connections with other people, so it's like you're both connected to each other all along, you just haven't met sooner yet. It's giving the invisible string theory where you're both in the same place at the same time, you just haven't met sooner because it wasn't the right time. You might even have pictures where the other is in the picture, you just didn't realize it before. And in the eyes of your future spouse, you're a confident person and really attractive physically. You have a specific charm where you can charm everyone in the room.
Signs: Libra, Taurus, Scorpio, Cancer, Virgo
Other signs: Blonde. Blue eyes. Barbie. Elegant & classy fashion style. Black hair. The movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Business party. The series Emily in Paris. Swan Lake.
#beldamtarot#tarot#tarot reading#tarotblr#pick a pile#pick a card#pick a picture#reading#daily tarot#tarotcommunity#tarot witch#free tarot#free readings#future spouse#future spouse reading#witch#witchblr#tarot cards#pick a pile reading#love reading
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Chapter 3 - I Get A Little Dizzy
Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist
Author's Note: Truly a disgusting amount of tabs open on my computer to research different monsters of the week for this series. Enjoy!
Chapter title from Imposter Syndrome by Abbie Roberts
Word Count: 16.8k
Chapter Summary/Warnings: For the first time, you run into Dean alone. Usual warnings, slight emphasis on self-harm.
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, angst, fluff, monster of the week.
Chapter 2 - Chapter 4
Read on A03!
The library is quiet when you feel it. When the White starts to rear and whine inside of you, the world goes technicolor, and you feel an odd sense of unwelcome harmony. You feel Dean.
And you couldâve pretended it was nothing, that you were simply losing your mind, if he hadnât spoken only a second later.
âHey, sweetheart, can you point me to any books you got on ghosts?â Heâs drawlingâhis voice is still deep and pretty and very distractingâbut thereâs something tight in his words. Like heâs frowning. âAnd, uh, a table? Might need to sit down.â
The girl at the desk starts to fawn over himâasking if heâs okay, if he needs some of their shitty earl gray tea, how itâs so cool that heâs interested in cult and theologyâand you realize youâre on your knees. Just the fucking presence of Dean sent you to your knees.Â
Youâre fucked.
Heâs not supposed to be here. This is your case. Itâs the kind of case you live for. The years blur togetherâall covered in blood and sweat and spitâand your nightmares only get worse as the darkness grows, but these cases are easy. Not deadly, just odd. Cases no other hunter tries to touch, because everything about them is downright strange, thereâs often nothing to shoot, and the solution is usually more complex than just kill the monster. Thatâs the other reason you love these cases. No danger. No threat of a hunter watching you bleed into the darkness, of them seeing a monster simply ignore you like youâre not even there or doing something a regular personâhunter or notâshould never be able to do.Â
Sometimes, on the rare occasion you do run into a hunter, and you just have to be careful. Stay out of their view, handle the case, and vanish in the dead of night without ever being seen.Â
And thatâs exactly why youâre so goddamn fucked.
You canât ignore Dean. You canât avoid Dean. Itâs been two long, strange years, and seeing him isnât any less intoxicating than before. It might even be worse. Stronger. Because you kept reminding yourself that John would kill youânot might, wouldâand that Dean didnât seem to feel this baffling, magnetic connection, but that didnât stop you from dreaming about him. It didnât stop his name being like a shot of some sort of painful, needy, glorious drug right into your bloodstream, or your brain from searching for him in shadows.
And youâd really tried to stop that. Youâd played both days over and over in your head, dissecting every reason to hate him, every reason to be angry, every reason to forget that he ever existed. And you had hundreds of them, starting and ending with he left you. He vanished without a trace, had the nerve to pretend like he cared about you, and then act like he had the right to care when he left you. He was an arrogant, charming, handsome asshole, and he left you. You were allowed to hate him, because heâd made you smile and feel like maybe you could be wanted, and then he fucking left you.
Youâve repeated it a million times. Youâve set that anger deep into your bones to try and make it stick. Carved it into your skull to try and make it real. At this point it might be, because youâve spent two years practicing it.
But youâve never managed to throw out his shirt, or stop your heart from twisting and withering whenever Bobby mentions that the Winchesters had a bad hunt, or extract green eyes and a boyish smile from fantasies in your sleep.Â
You donât know how to not feel like thereâs saltwater on your raw skin when he indulges the girl at the desk with sweet words, say sheâs too pretty to be stuck around all these books. You canât figure out how to make the White finally realize that itâs not an option to give into its desperation to see him. To crawl around the bookshelves and just look at Dean, to make sure heâs real and this isnât another unwelcome dream.
There are so many reasons that would be a bad idea. John might be here, ready to put a bullet in your temple. Dean might see you, and youâll have to explain why youâre staring at him from the floor. Onceyou see Dean, you know youâll have to talk to him, and if you talk to him the whole hunt will be ruined. Itâll become a long week of trying to figure out the case, dodge Dean, and hide what you are from him.
Maybe he already knows. Maybe John told him. Maybe heâd be just as ready to kill you, and all youâd see is cold, unwavering fury and hatred in his eyes before he killed like the monster you might be.
And you are. Youâd have nothing to offer in your defense, because the darkness has only spread in your body, and youâve only fed it. You still donât understand exactly what it is, but you know itâs powerful. That whatever you are, youâre rare, and thatâs probably for a reason. Youâve spent hours in Bobbyâs libraryâsitting at his desk and reading until dawn cracks and Bobby half-drags you to bedâtrying to just find a name for what you are, why youâre like this, but you only ever have more questions.
You canât stop the spells and rituals from appearing in your head, but you also canât find most of them in any books. You still call yourself a witch, but most witches spend decades studying to learn how to do things your body just does. More and more monsters respect you. More and more ghosts have burned away with only your hands. Itâs grown harder and harder to stop the darkness from slipping out, and when it does it can be dangerous to everyone around you.
Dean doesnât need to see that. You donât need another reason to feel like youâre wrong. Just inherently wrong.Â
So you should go. You need to go. If you were smart, youâd go now, and never look back.
But you havenât learned how to do that either. Because you rise to your feet slowly, walk silently towards the door with your head down, and canât stop your eyes from flicking to where Dean should be seated.Â
His jacket is thereâhanging off a wooden chairâand there are a few books on the splintering table, but thereâs no Dean.Â
You go rigid, a weight dropping into your lungs as you whirl around to run, and a hand catches you by the elbow. Itâs big and strong and warm through your shirt, and you donât have to be drowning in grass and spice and leather to know who it is.Â
Dean pulls you right back into his chest, his grip remaining firm, and his voice near your ear is low and mocking. âHey, Princess. Didnât think Iâd see you here.â
Fuck.
You should lie. Pretend you donât know him, wait for his grip to loosen, and run.
âWell, Winchester, Iâm not sure you ever think at all.â
Fuck.
He laughs, and you also apparently havenât learned how to not feel molten and soothed from the deep, rolling sound. âThat ainât your best,â he drawls your name, squeezing your arm lightly. âIâll give you another shot, though. This time try to go for my looks.â
You scowl into the air. âI donât think I could, Deano. Thatâs all you got left, and Iâm not that mean.â
He clicks his tongue. âOuch. You might be meaner, sweetheart. Iâd say youâre a downright bitch.â
âIâd say youâre an animal in jeans and a leather jacket.â
âYouâre forgetting about my boots.â Dean shrugs, and you can feel his muscles flex at the movement. âIâm an animal in jeans, boots, and a leather jacket.â
You roll your eyes, finally managing to yank your arm away from his hold and spin around. âWhat do you want, Dean Winchester.â
Heâs grinning at you when you see him. A smug, crude smirk that tells you heâs enjoying this far too much, that he might not be trying to kill you, but he does hate you. And yet the shine in his eyes still sending you into a trance, and youâre still leaning a little forward to be closer to his body, and your nails are still digging into your skin to stop your hands from either punching him or grabbing him and never letting go.Â
You hate it. You hate that he can still do this to you, that he doesnât seem at all affected by it, and that you feel tiny fragmentsâcatching light and scattered through your bodyâwithering under his loathing and blooming under his attention.Â
You hate that youâre staying instead of running. Youâve promised yourself over and over that, if you ever see any of the Winchesterâs again, youâd run and keep yourself alive. If not for yourself, for Bobby. If not for Bobby, for Rufus, whoâs told you that he had no interest in watching Bobby drink himself away if you die.Â
And youâre breaking that promise. You shouldâve made it an oath.
But youâd probably break that too. You might do anything to keep yourself crashing back into Dean, to stay in his shining gravity.Â
You hate that most of all.
âIâm just saying hi, Princess.â Heâs still grinning at you, but thereâs something spiked and furious in his eyes. Itâs guarded and hostile, and all aimed at you. âAm I not allowed to do that?â
âHi.â You raise your chin, and he chuckles.
âHey.â He scans you over, and you wish you couldnât feel the heat of his gaze on your skin. âYou look good.â
âNo, I donât.â You didnât look bad, but youâre also sleeping in your car, so this is far from your best. âWhy are you here?â
âShit, Princess, I thought you were smart.â Dean gives you an amused, taunting look, and you want to punch him. âI mean, you canât think Iâm on vacation.â
You narrow your eyes. âYouâre hunting.â
âBingo!â Dean spreads his arms wide, a shit-eating on his face. âLook at that, folks, we have a winner! The hunter is hunting-â
âAlone.â You raise your brows at him, crossing your arms. âDean Winchesterâs hunting alone.â
He falters slightly, barely a slipâhis voice slightly harsher, his face a little tighterâbut you catch it. âMaybe I am, but thatâs not your fucking beeswax-â
That makes you stand taller, your spine snapping to attention as darkness pushes at your skin and teeth. âIs your dad here?â
He scowls. âNo.â
Your grip on your own body tightens, because Dean doesnât hunt alone. Bobby says that heâs only ever alone at all because Johnâs off on a hunt alone, and even then, Dean just waits.Â
Briefly, you wonder if heâd wait for you. Itâs a pointless hopeâand you loathe your brain for thinking of itâbut that doesnât stop the idea. Dean wouldnât wait for you. Youâre not someone anyone waits for.
But youâd like to feel his pure, undying loyalty directed at you. For Dean to talk about you how he talks about John and Sam.Â
He wouldnât. And you hate him for making you want him to.
Dean must read something on your face, because heâs speaking again before you even open your mouth. âAnd this is a one-time thing, sweetheart, itâs not the same-â
âAs me hunting alone?â You tilt your chin a little higher, holding his glare. âWhyâs that?â
âBecause you- Youâre young and this shit isnât a joke or game-â
âI never said it was a joke or game.â You snap. âAnd Iâm not that much younger than you-â
âYouâre young enough.â He hisses. âAnd you donât get to act like you understand this life-â
You narrow your eyes. âI understand it just fine-â
âYeah, sure you do.â Dean rolls his eyes, lowering his face to yours. Youâre not sure when he got this close, or why you havenât moved away, but he smells really good. âI actually fucking know what Iâm doing, Princess. This is my life, and Iâve got people around me who-â
âYou think I donât have people?â You lean closer as you sneer, because youâll be damned if youâre the first to cave and pull away. âYou think I donât know what Iâm doing? Donât forget, Winchester, Iâm the one who got the moroi and the poltergeist-â
âBut youâre still hunting alone.â Deanâs voice is stiff, and if you didnât know better, youâd think his own words were hurting him. âWhich means you donât have people. If you did, they wouldnât let you do this shit by yourself.â
You let out a dry laugh. âYouâre such a fucking hypocrite, youâre literally hunting alone right now-â
âThis is a one-time thing.â He dismisses you with a glare. âNot the same.â
And youâre back at the start. âItâs the exact same. Iâm just alone by choice.â
Something pained flares in Deanâs eyes, and the guilt floods you in a second. Wrapping around your lungs like iron, churning in your stomach as your nerves start to feel raw and cower into you, because you shouldnât have said that. Heâs not alone, not at all. He has John, and Johnâs an asshole but he does seem to at least care about his son, as much he seems capable of caring about anything. And Dean can find company wherever he wants. He just has to weaponize that cocky, euphoria inducing charm, and you think people would give him the world.Â
You are alone. Youâve been alone. You have Bobby but youâre still alone. Nobody wants to give you anything, and they shouldnât. Youâd break it. Just like how Deanâs voice is now low and strained, and the guilt is ripping at your guts, and youâre just darkness. Just dark and sick and infectious, spitting venom that erodes everything it finds.Â
âI wouldnât say youâre alone by choice either,â Dean says your name, his voice only taut anger. âYou just havenât managed to trap some sorry son of a bitch into look after you.â
Your nails break skin. âFuck you, Winchester.â
âRight back at you, Princess.âÂ
Thereâs a long moment where neither of you move or speak, Â and the only evidence you havenât become statues is your breath. Youâd been so lost in shoving down to darknessâroaring through your blood and a little electricâthat you hadnât realized Dean was walking you backwards. That you were pressed between his body and the table, or that his arms were braced on either side of your body, holding you there. And youâd been so lost in your fury at himâhow it had lived in your mouth and surrounded your every thoughtâthat you hadnât looked at him. Really looked at him.
Youâre looking now. And heâs still pretty. Somehow, he might be prettier. His eyes seem to have more shades of green, more little flecks of goldâhis attention even more drug-like than before, as if youâre being dragged underwater but learning to breathe it at the same timeâand there are a few freckles on his skin that werenât there last time. His hair is a little longer than, too, but still close cut and spiky, and your fingers still remember how soft it had been. They want to touch him again. You want to touch him again, maybe shove him, maybe slap him, maybe yank him down so you can feel his lips against yours-
âYouâre gonna try to do this one alone too, arenât you.â
You blink at Dean, frowning slightly. âWhat?â
He sighs. âYouâre gonna go off and hunt by yourself.â
âYeah, I am.â You shift your weight on your feet, trying to not be consumed by how fucking close Dean is. âAnd Iâm-â You swallow, the words falling out you like vomit as the guilt gnaws at your tongue. âIâm sorry. I didnât mean the shit about you being alone. Youâre not.â
Dean stares at you. âYouâre sorry.â
You nodâbecause you are, you canât fucking live with how this is eating at you, and you really donât need another reason to be sickâand Dean shakes his head.
âYou think- forget it.â Heâs scanning over your face, his expression still tight. âYouâre fucking, youâre impossible.â
You frown. âWhat does that mean.â
Dean just hums. âThat Iâm not alone.â
âYeah, I just said that-â
âNo, Princess.â He grins, and it creates a tiny line on his cheek you want to touch. âIâm not alone. I got you.â
âYou do not have me-â
âWhy not?âÂ
His question sounds so genuine it makes you pause, your expression slack with confusion. âWhat?â
âWhy donât we hunt together? Hell of a lot safer.â
You shake your head slightly, mostly trying to destroy how the White is trying to grab your tongue and pull on your lips until you spit out yes without a thought. âWhy would I do that. Iâve-â
âYou got this, I know.â Dean raises his brows. âBut youâve also got me. And I can be helpful, sweetheart. Weâll be done in half the time.â
You do not have Dean. If you did, there wouldnât be a single problem in the world.Â
But you still examine his painfully sincere face, your words cautious. âHow can you be helpful.â
âTo start, I can use a gun.â He smirks at you. âBet you donât have that.â
âI can use a gun, Winchester, I just choose not to-â
âAnd now you donât have to choose.â Dean wiggles his brows at you, and you feel the White flutter. âIâll be the knight, Princess, youâll just have to doâŚâ he pauses, staring at you with a small frown. âWhatever you do.â
You canât do what you do. Not anywhere near Dean. Not when heâll freak out and leave you again, maybe this time returning with John in tow to put you down like a feral animal. You honestly donât know why he hasnât done that already, because there was no reason for John not to have told him about the poltergeist.Â
But heâs just grinning at you, and his offer sounds genuine, and you really want him to stay. It would be really nice ifâno matter what alternate intentions Dean had for you, no matter how he planned to look at you or speak to youâDean stayed. Everything feels simpler when heâs right here against you. The White has already begun to blend and blur with the darkness, and everything already feels clean and silver under Deanâs attentionâdevoid of the loathing youâd expected, but still burning and wild and magneticâand God, youâd like it to stay that way.
And youâd just been ready to fucking kill him.
And you donât care.
âYouâd listen to what I tell you to do.â
Dean shrugs. âSure.â
âWinchester-â
âCross my heart.â He pushes on hand off the table, holding it over his chest. âScoutâs honor.â
You snort. âWere you a scout?â
âNo, but you donât have to be a scout-â
âYes, you do, thatâs why itâs called scoutâs honor-â
âWell, what the hell else am I supposed to say-â
âPinky promise?â You suggest, your cheek painful as you bite down a grin at his adorably offended face. âAll you need is a pinky.â
Dean scowls. âI am not pinky promising.â
âFine,â you shrug. âThen weâre not hunting together.â
His face splits into a cocky, wide grin, and you realize what youâve said too late. âSo we were gonna hunt together?â
âMaybe,â you mutter, your face growing warm. âI was thinking about it-â
âYou make up your mind?â
âNot yet-â
âIâll listen to you.âÂ
You stare between Deanâs open gaze and his hand. Raised between your bodies, the pinky sticking out. âI donât need you, Winchester.â
âYeah, I bet you donât.â He mutters, and you frown at the bitterness in his words. The way they sound sour, when Dean shouldnâtbe allowed tobe sour. He left you. âBut Iâm here whether you like it or not. Might as well make this easy.âÂ
He flexes his pinky, raising his brows expectantly, and your hand moves almost against your will. Looping your pinky with Deanâs, shaking it once, and freezing once youâre done, locked against him. Itâs like youâve been struck by lightning, and you wonât be able to pull away until youâre ash and smoke for Dean to breathe.
âAwesome.â He winks at you, but doesnât pull away. Neither of you can pull away. âYou got what we need?â
âNot yet,â you mumble. âBut Iâm working on it.â
He smirks. âLucky you, Princess, Iâm here to help.â
âI donât need-â
âYeah, you do.â He makes a wide, sweeping gesture to the table, his finger dropping from yours. âSit down, sweetheart, cause Iâm about to blow your mind.â
You roll your eyesâthe loss of his finger, his fucking finger, feeling like youâve been set adrift through space without a way to come backâand drop into the free chair.
Dean does not blow your mind. Heâs adorable and charming as he explains his theory that youâre dealing with a spirit that uses madness to get to its victims, and heâs incredibly wrong, but itâs still cute. His chest is puffed like heâs just slain a dragon, heâs looking at you like heâs waiting for a treat, and it breaks your heart a little to give him a close-lipped smile and shake your head.
âThatâs⌠not correct.â
He blinks at you. âYeah, it is. I read everything,â he slaps the pile of very closed books in front of him. âAnd Bobby told me that powerful ghosts can inflict madness.â
You raise your brows, twisting a ring on your finger. âI donât know who Bobby is.â
âOh, uh, heâs like my uncle.â Dean shrugs, dropping into his own chair. âHelped my dad out a lot, with me and Sammy. When Dad had to go off on hunts, and needed to keep us somewhere safe.â
You know that. Dean doesnât know you know that, and something feels bitter over your heart as you lie to him, but you canât help yourself. âYou like him? Bobby?â
Dean nods. âHell yeah, heâs awesome. And heâs a great hunter, only one almost as good as Dad. Plus heâs got this room of books that Sammy loved, all about monsters. He says this is a spirit,â Dean drums his hand on the table, giving you a pointed look. âItâs a freakinâ spirit.â
âBobby said itâs a spirit?â
Dean nods, and you pull your lips between your teeth to stop a grin. If he wouldnât get pissed about you hanging out with Deanâwhere John might arrive any second, something you know but canât really bring yourself to care aboutâyouâd call him right now to brag.
âBobbyâs wrong.â
âBobbyâs never wrong.â Dean frowns. âAnd you told me you didnât have anything-â
âNo, I told you I didnât have what we need.â You hum, allowing your smug smile to cover your face. âBut I know what weâre dealing with.â
Dean rolls his eyes. âYou wanna keep bragging, or-â
âItâs a pagan god.â You say, and Dean just blinks at you, so you continue. âIâm not sure which one yet, but it has to be.â
He shakes his head slightly. âIt doesnât have to be-â
âYeah, it does. The madness is spread through the town, Deano. It canât be a spirit.â
âSon of a bitch,â he mutters, running a hand over his face. âIt is.â
âI know-â
âBut,â he points a finger at you, his features stern, and it makes the White sing. âThat doesnât mean it has to be a pagan god, Princess. We could both be wrong.â
You give him an amused look. âWhat have you heard about the madness?â
âTheyâre basically trying to killing themselves outta nowhere. People with promotions lined up, folks with families just losing their marbles-â
âHow are they losing their marbles?â
He scowls. âI dunno, I havenât been invited to their suicide attempts-â
âTheyâre dancing.â You run a hand through your hair as you lean forward, your smile growing. âThey start waltzing, and donât stop until someone makes them. Itâs not deadly, but-â
âIt could be,â he nods slowly. âIf we donât gank it.â
âIf we donât figure out who it is,â you push a book towards him, pulling another off his pile for yourself. âAnd kill it.â
âThatâs what I said-â
âYou said gank.â You flip open your book, giving him a pointed look. âThatâs not a real word.â
Dean rolls his eyes. âYou donât know every word ever, sweetheart-â
âYes, I do. Shut up and read.â
âBossy- Shit-â Dean swears your name as you kick him under the table. âThat was my good shin.â
You giggle. You havenât giggled in two years. âAs opposed to your bad shin?â
âYeah,â he grumbles, and you watch him settle into his book in your periphery. âIâm basically useless now, Princess. You killed me.â
âMaybe I saved you,â you shrug. âYou canât dance to death now. I think Iâm the hero in this scenario, actually.â
He chuckles, poking your foot with his. âThat would be a dumb way to go. I mean, what are we, in a reserve Footloose town? A handtight?âÂ
You glance up to see that he has the boyish grinâthe one that makes you want to grab his face and hang against him because for some reason, you feel like nothing could ever hurt you as long as Dean was smiling like thatâand is obviously incredibly proud of his joke. It makes something warm and gooey in your stomach, makes everything in the world smooth and illuminated. Flowing easily with the darkness, no pain required to keep yourself in control.
âHandtight?â
âYes, opposite of footloose. Awesome, right?â
âI could do better.â You look back down to your book, and Dean scoffs.
âYouâre just bitter about me getting a name for this first-â
âVitus.â
You can hear the confused frown in his voice. âWha-â
âVitus.â You flip your book for him to read. âSicilian martyr saint, who was associated with that French dancing plague in 1518.â
Dean blinks between the you and the pages. âThis guyâs a saint, arenât they kind of not supposed to kill people?â
You give him a flat look. âI donât think anyoneâs supposed to kill people-â
âShut up, you know what I meant-â
âI donât think I did. I think you should explain it-â
âI-â He glares at you, and your grin is manic. âHow the hell did you even find that so fast-â
âIâm good at my job, Winchester.â You flip the book closed with a half-shrug. âAnd this is literally just the 1518 plague, but in Texas. Which is, very famously, exactly like France.â
You grin at Deanâproud of your own, horrible jokeâand he gives you a half-amused look with something in his eyes that you donât know how to place. Not soft, but not hateful, like youâre blinding him, and he doesnât care to look away.Â
You clear your throatâheâs just looking at you, and itâs making your thinking hazy and your skin ache to touch hisâand press on. âNow we just need to figure out why theyâre doing-â
âA handtight?â Dean jumps in, and you give him a flat look. âIâm gonna get you to call it that, sweetheart, youâll see.â
You ignore him, even as your smile grows. âAnd how to stop it.â
Dean gives you a look of mock curiosity. âStop what, exactly?â
âIâm not calling it that.â
âCâmon, itâs good-â
âNope.â You push up to your feet, still smiling at him as he almost pouts at you. âNever.â
âI bet I can get you to.â He rises as well, side-stepping to block your way to the door. Youâre not sure if itâs on purpose. âTwenty bucks.â
You snort. âYou donât have twenty bucks.â
Deanâs jaw ticks slightly, and he almost recoils away from you. Itâs a small movement, but you still see it. And it still hurts, because you donât know why. That wasnât too mean. Not meaner than usual. And heâs recovering quicklyâhis smile returning, the playful arrogance in his voice back in a heartbeatâbut youâd still struck something you hadnât meant to. And you can feel the sickness take root inside your veins at the thought. All those shattered, pretty pieces that line your whole body start to become heavy, because you hadnât even meant to, and youâd hurt Dean. You hadnât even be trying, and youâd still managed to show him just how horrible you were-
âIâll find them.â Dean says, but he sounds a little far away over the ringing in your ears. âGimme your number.â
That yanks you out of it, everything rushing back down to Dean as you gape at him. âMy number?â
âOn your phone, sweetheart.â He smirks at you. âIâm shocked youâve made it this far alone if you donât know-â
âOh, fuck off, Winchester.â You flip him off. âI know what a number is-â
âSure you do, Princess-â
âShut up-â
âHere,â he leans down, scrawling his own number on a small paper and sliding it across the table. âThatâs mine.â He pauses, his gaze on you suddenly weary. âFor, uh, for the case.â
You nod, taking the paper with careful hands, like it might fly off and vanish. It had last time. Dean had last time. âYou, um-â You take slow breath, forcing your voice to remain firm and even. âYou donât need to give me this.â
Dean shifts in front of you, but youâre not quite strong enough to look up and meet his gaze. âDo you, uh, you donât gotta take it, if you donât want it-â
âNo!â You flush at your high voice, staring at your fingers as you fold and unfold the paper between them. âI just already know where weâre off to next. So I donât need it.â
âOh.â Thereâs a pause, his voice dropping to a tone you wish wasnât so cautious and soft. âYou can still take it. Safety first, right?â
You glance up, and see that heâs smiling at you. He didnât take the out you offered him, and heâs still there, and if you reached out youâd feel warm skin and lean muscles. Heâs real, and heâs not flickering away.Â
And that makes the Silverâthe White folded and blended perfectly into the darknessâbegin to bloom. Growing like ivy over the sickness, soothing it into an easy quiet. It makes you high as you smile at him, cautious but real. This might be real. You know better than to hope, but you donât care what you know. This time, something about this glowâmending parts of you with gold, refracting light over the Silverâfeels like it might not fall to ruin. Like it will remain tangible, and not shrivel under your touch.
âOkay.â You tuck Deanâs number in your pocket, standing a little taller as his own grin grows. âCan you meet me at the town hall in an hour?â
His brow furrows slightly. âThe town hall? Are we interviewing the mayor or something?â
âOr something.â You hum, and Dean gives you a questioning look. âI think it might be a political thing,â you explain. âI mean, itâs not footloose-â
Dean nods. âItâs handtight-â
âShut up. Itâs not footloose but it is town wide. Targeting random citizens.â You tilt your head at Dean, raising your brows slightly. âSo that could mean itâs-â
âPolitical?â Dean frowns, rubbing his chin. âLike a really weird power play?â
âReally weird.â You agree. âBut not impossible. Fear mongering is a very real political tactic, it could be that.â
âYou think itâs that?â Deanâs watching you closely, and itâs doing something to your brain. Making it fuzzy and warm. Itâs not helpful.
âI think,â you say slowly, crossing your arms over your chest. âThat we donât have any other leads. And it canât hurt to look.â
âYouâre really inspiring confidence, sweetheart-â
âDo you have anything better?â
âNope.â Dean shrugs, tucking one hand in his pocket as the other finds your back. Resting with a flat palm between your shoulder blades, seeming to suck every bit of tension from that spot, to make you almost lean into him. He pats your back once, a little awkwardly, but then he doesnât move away. His mouth is still open, your mouth is open, and this shouldnât feel as powerful as it does. Itâs just a hand, but you feel safe and tended to, and itâs Deanâs hand but you feel wanted, and he doesnât want you-
Dean doesnât want you at all. Heâs looking at you like he sees youâright down to the darkness, then a little furtherâand heâs not flinching away or revolted by it, but he doesnât want you. Heâs touching you, and maybe heâd like that, but he doesnât want you.Â
âUh,â Dean clears his throat, his hand still flat and frozen on your back. âWe should go.â
âYeah,â you nod, your eyes seemingly trapped on his. âFigure out this reverse footloose.â
A smirk pulls at his lips. âHandtight.â
âIâm not calling it that, De.â You roll your eyes, but donât shrug him off as he starts to guide you to the door. âReverse footloose is already pushing it.â
He clicks his tongue, holding the door open as you walk through. âAnd Iâm the one thatâs not fun?â
You flip him off, he lets out a loud laugh, and youâre not sure what the hell is happening. Heâs only looking at you, even though the lady at the desk keeps trying to get his attention with cleavage and pouting lips. Heâs still touching you, even though youâre giving him no signs that youâre going to offer him what he probably wants. Heâs still talking to you, walking with you, even though youâre you. Blooming with silver over your ribs but still destructive. Still sick.
âYou got a car?â Dean scans over the parking lot with a small frown, and his thumb has started to trace small circles against your jacket, making it hard to think of anything but daydreams of that small motion on your bare skin.
âUm, yeah, itâs over there.â You manage to point, and Deanâs lips fall into a small, pouting frown. âI can meet you-â
âActually, uh,â he rubs the back of his neck, his voice becoming low and sheepish. âIâd take a ride, if youâre good with that.â
You blink at him. âDo you not have your car?â
âDadâs car.â Dean mutters. âHeâs using it.â
âHowâd you get here-â
âHitchhiking,â he shrugs, not fully meeting your gaze. Like heâs worried hitchhiking will make you recoil. Like the car you hadnât just pointed at isnât the fifth car youâve stolen this month. âIâm not that far, anyway. And I tried to rent a car but they only had minivans.â Dean makes a sour face, and itâs adorable, but you donât think heâd apprentice you saying that. âIâm not driving a freakinâ minivan.â
âAlright car boy.â You give him a sweet smile, and when he finally glances up at you his eyes widen slightly. âYou wanna drive?â
You might as well have offered him ice cream. All his features light up, a grin thatâs sort of mind-numbing breaks out over his face, and you could swear heâs suddenly taller. Bigger. âYou sure? I- Itâs your car-â
âI donât give a shit.â You shrugâitâs not your car, but he doesnât need to know thatâand push the keys into his hand. âLetâs rumble, Deano.â
You start to move, but he catches your arm, and when you look back his expression is weary. Untrusting.
âIs thisâŚâ He trails off, glancing down to the keys in his hand like theyâre going to jump up and attack him. âYouâre sure. Youâre not- Iâm not gonna get in that car and youâll start yelling at me-â
âWhy would I yell at you?â You frown at him, and his grip tightens slightly. âI mean, I will yell at you about other stuff, but not this. That would be dumb.â
He blinks at you, nods slowly, and releases your arm. He couldâve held onto it. You really wouldnât have minded.Â
Youâre not sure what just happenedâyouâre learning that, with Dean, there never seems to be any logic to whatâs happeningâbut you know Dean relaxes again the moment heâs in the driverâs seat. Talking about the buttons, which ones are genuine improvement to the model and awesome, and which ones are freakinâ useless, and really adorable.Â
Deanâs adorable. You shouldnât be allowing yourself to crash back into him so fast, not when youâve spent so long teaching yourself to hate him, but itâs simple. Natural. The air feels sharper in your lungs when you breathe and heâs next to you. Everything smells like grass and spice and itâs like an anesthetic to everything in you thatâs usually only pain. Every feverish and furious piece in you feels calmed, and Deanâs eyes are filled with boundless color, and itâs like you could move right into them and exist in a warm, peaceful world for the rest of your life.
You couldnât. But you can smile and laugh with Dean on the ride to the town hall, listening to him explain something about engines that you donât really care about, but he does, which is somehow more than enough. You work together to come up with a cover story, which mostly means shooting down Deanâs ideas about being Wilson and Wilson, no relation, or just flat out breaking into the building.
âYou know city halls are public places, right?â You tilt your head at him, not bothering to hide the amusement in your voice. âAnyone can be there, as long as weâre not going into private offices. We could just be two college students, looking to interview our representatives for a paper.â
Dean frowns. âIs that what college students do? Youâre telling me Sammyâs off in California just talking to a bunch of nerds in offices?â
âMaybe.â You shrug, watching him carefully. You havenât actually heard him talk about Sam that much, and everything is so precariously good right now. You refuse to be the one to blow it up. âI wouldnât know.â
âYeah, but youâre kinda just like that.â
Itâs your turn to frown. âLike what?â
Dean waves a hand, giving you a flat look as he parks to car. âYou know.â
âI donât know-â
âYouâre all books, Princess. You found that Cletus guy-â
âVitus-â
âYeah, whatever, you found him really fast. And you donât use a gun.â He makes face like heâs smelt something foul. âHow the hell donât you use a gun.â
âWith incredible talent and skill. And I am not all books-â
He smirks. âYouâre pretty much 90% books, sweetheart.â
You glare at him. âShut up-â
âNah.â He turns off the engine, glancing out the windshield to the city hall. âSo weâre college students?â
âOr grad students.â You tilt your head at the air, hugging your knees as you think. âMight be easier to sell.â
âAlright.â Dean claps his hands, shooting you a wink as he turns to fully face you. âIâm Robert Page, and youâre-â
âIâm me.â You let out a long sigh, giving him a flat look. âAnd youâre Dean Winchester. I donât think we need aliases for this one, De, thatâs the point of public places.â
âIâm trying to make it fun though-â
âIt will be fun.â You smile at him as you unbuckle from the seat. âWeâre going to gank a martyr whoâs reverse footloosing a whole town. Whatâs more fun than that?â
âHandtighting a whole town,â Dean mutters, but heâs smirks again. You won. âIâm gonna get you to say it, Princess, just wait.â
âI am waiting.â You step onto the curb, grinning at him over the hood of the car. âI believe in you, buddy. You can do it.â
Dean rolls his eyes, but heâs still smiling as you walk up the steps of the city hall, and throughout the entire, exhaustive process of combing through department after department, looking for any sign of Vitus. Itâs long and boring work, but youâre both still smiling, nudging each other to whisper stupid jokes and making fun of the strange artwork lining the hallways, standing far too close together and laughing far too long at nothing at all.
Itâs jarring. Frightening. You hate him. Youâre supposed to hate him. Heâs given you so many reasons to hate him, and heâll give you more when he leaves again. When he presses on another raw nerve that only he seems to be able to find, and you snap because youâd crashed fully back down to him in just a few hours.Â
But God, itâs so comfortable down here. Peaceful in your head and silver in your chest, everything exactly how it should be. Dean keeps placing his hand onto your back as you move through the building, and it feels like itâs burning and branding you, pressing itâs way under your skin until there will always be a place for Deanâs hand to fit. He smells so good, and you could drown in it. He looks so prettyâfidgeting with his jacket and tossing you thoughtless, charming grins that make your heart glowâand you could get lost in him. Get high on him and the deft, careful fingers that are spinning a pen and brushing against your skin. They must be filled with lighting, because theyâre jumpstarting and feeding the White until itâs all just silver, and nothing is waging war inside you.
You could fall further. You could fall so much further. All the way down until you never had to be worried about being pulled back up. Until you were shining with lightning all the time.
You wonât. Youâre just strong enough not to. But youâre not strong enough to not stare at him as he interviews another random secretaryâpinned up gray hair and a sickly-sweet voiceâor to not imagine if heâd go down with you. To fight it as everything starts to grow, and you can feel the humming joy of the electrically through the building, or the safety of the coffee in the secretaryâs mug, or leather of Deanâs jacket, and how it feels like it belongs right where it is, on his body-
âDo you play the piano, Honey?âÂ
You blink, because the secretaryâs talking to you. âSorry?â
âI was just telling your lovely friend about how music has lost so much of its joy in these heathenistic times.â The secretary sighs, shaking her head. âNo one appreciates a good classical piece anymore. Itâs like water, dear, it needs to flow smoothly, in time and key. And nothing better for that than a piano.â
You glance at Dean, who shrugs and mouths crazy, just out of the secretaryâs view. You give him a stern look that makes him wink at you, and turn a gentle smile to the secretary.Â
âI do play, actually. Could I ask why-â
âYou play the piano?â Deanâs frowning at you, and thereâs something rough in his voice you donât understand. âLike, well?â
âIâd like to think so.â You shrug, looking back to the secretary, but Dean keeps going.
âWhat, did you have like a freakinâ tutor-â
You shoot him a glare, because this is really not something to get stuck on. âNo, my uncle. He had a piano, and I used to visit him a lot.â
Youâd visit Rufus when Bobby had other hunters overâhad the Winchesterâs overâand eventually he got sick of you shuffling around and causing small accidents when you got lost in your own head. It became a tradition for him to sit you down and make you play until everything shrank back down to the right size.
Dean doesnât get to know that. You have to remember that, despite every part of yourself Dean seems to be finding without effort, he canât be allowed to find that.
âSorry about that, maâam.â You turn back to the secretary as Dean keeps staring at you, and she smiles.
âNo worries, men can be foolish.âÂ
You seal your lips in a tight lip to avoid a loud snort as Dean huffsâlooking like a kicked puppy in your peripheryâand the secretary continues like heâs not even there.
âDo you dance?â
You nod, and Deanâs going to get stabbed later if he keeps acting like itâs shocking you could do anything at all.Â
âYou can dance-â
âAnyone can dance, Deano.â You shoot him a grin, and he shakes his head.
âNot everyone-â
âNot the sick.â The secretary corrects, and you feel a tendril of darkness creep up your throat, vile on your tongue. âThe pious dance, boy, it is Godâs will that we have music.â
Dean nods, giving you an amused look. âIâll amen that, sister.â
You roll your eyes, looking back to the secretary. âWhy do you ask?â
She hums. âYou have the energy of beautiful music, honey. It would be an act of the devil if you didnât.â
Dean was right. This lady was crazy. But you mumble your thanks, and keep your tone sweet. âWhat type of music do you like, maâam?â
The secretary beams at you, and she leans forward, pulling at a charm around her neck as she speaks. âAll of the classics, honey. The good, well-designed music-â
Dean nods in seeming agreement. âLike Zeppelin-â
âDear Lord, no!â The secretary gapes at Dean, and you have to bite your tongue to stop a laugh. He looks like heâs been shot. âThatâs devil music, boy! So much art has been lost to youth like you, corrupted by Satanâs song-â
You side-step, blocking Deanâs path to the secretary as his jaw clenches, holding your gaze on the secretary. âI love your necklace, maâam, where did you get it?â
âOh, this?â She lets out a soft laugh, running her fingers through the chain. âItâs protective, from the demons. You like it?â
âItâs very beautiful.â You say, and itâs not. Itâs a large, lumpy shape and horrible, slate shade of gray, but youâre not dumb enough to say that aloud. âAnd thank you for your time-â
âWait,â the secretary pulls off the necklace, grabbing your wrist and shoving it into your palm. âA lovely young woman like you should have protection for devils.â She shoots a glare over your shoulder, at Dean, and you glance back to see him scowling.
âI, um,â you turn back to the secretary, trying to return the pendant to her desk. âI appreciate it, but-â
âTake it.â Her voice is almost stern, and you feel Dean tense behind you. âAnd remember, no pleasure is worth more than the love of the Lord, honey. And he loves to sing for us.â
You nod slowly, backing away from the desk with the pendant still in your hand. âOf course. Love of the lord. De?â
He grunts your name from behind you, and you grab his hand without looking away from the desk. âWha-â
âIâm hungry.â
âWell, we can get you some chips from that vending machine-â
âYeah, letâs do that.â You drag him out of the room, down the hallâpast the vending machineâand right into the womenâs bathroom.
âPrincess, I donât know what youâre doing, but I donât think Iâm allowed-â
âBigger issues.â You pull him into the large stall, dropping your voice to a hushed whisper. âItâs her.â
Dean frowns. âThe mean old lady who called me a demon?â
You nod, passing him the pendant. âCauldron. Vitusâ symbol, he was boiled alive in one-â
âGross-â
âYeah. And the ladyâs a fanatic, so it wouldnât be unbelievable that she thinks sheâs cleansing the town of sinners or something.â
âSo⌠sheâs using this Vitus dude to what, punish those with taste?â
âYep. Not a spirit.â You grin at him, taking the pendant back and flushing it down the toilet. Thereâs nothing in it that feels magical, and itâs really fucking ugly. âI love being right.â
He scoffs. âWhatever, sweetheart-â
âYou were right, too.â You offer, dropping down to sit on the toilet. âItâs a handtight. Similar motivations, too.â
Deanâs eyes flash, and you think you might melt under the focus of his smug grin. âYou called it handtight.â
âYeah.â
âBecause you realized Iâm right?â
You give him a close-lipped, grimacing smile, and he groans.
âIt doesnât count if I didnât earn it,â he grumbles, dropping down to sit against the wall. âYou have to call it handtight because Iâm a freakinâ genius.â
âSorry.âÂ
âItâs fine, Iâll get you later.â He shoots you a half-smirk, and you roll your eyes, because he has got you. Against all odds and logic, youâre not leaving this bathroom stall unless Dean goes with you.
âYou really believe that.â You give him an amused look. âThatâs cute.â
âShut up.â He mutters, scanning over your face with a frown. âWhy did you say it? Cause you feel bad about saint lady calling me the devil?â
âNo,â you pick at the skin around your fingernail as you sigh. âI said it because I want you in a good mood.â
Dean blinks at you. âWhy?â
âBecause weâre about to deal with Vitus,â you hold Deanâs gaze, leaning down until your only a breath apart, and you can see every freckle, scar, and line on his face. Heâs beautiful. You canât focus on that right now. âAnd weâre doing it my way.â
âââââââââ
Her way was insane. Her way was a crime. And Dean didnât have a problem with thatâcrime was hard to avoid for any good hunterâbut it was fascinating to watch Her dance around the words breaking and entering.Â
It would be fascinating to watch Her dance at all. Deanâs mind was stuck on that image, scratching like a vinyl record of Her siren-like voice saying De, and a stuttering film of Her dancing. Crazy Lady had been right. It didnât make any fucking sense, but She had the energy of beautiful music. She was a melody that had engraved its way into Deanâs brain with a scalpel, too amazing for him to every really pull it out or forget it. A melody that, even after two years, heâd still known to follow down and chase to hear just a little more.
She was fucking infuriating.
Heâd spent those two years pretending heâd forgotten Her. Two years with Dad on the road and in motelsâas he always had beenâacting like his heart didnât do a stupid little flutter when he saw hair like Herâs in a crowd, acting like he didnât check every palm he touched for a scar. When he didnât pretend, he told himself he was looking for Her to shout at her. To warn Her to stay the hell away, because he wasnât a goddamn toy to be lured and trapped and thrown out. For Her to smile at, for Her to make vast and certain that he was being looked at, only vanish. To just go, right when heâd been in pain, right when heâd been so close to placing that fruity smell and learning how to ask Her if she was sorry, if sheâd start over and if she could feel this too.
But Sheâd gone. Dean had woken up with a spinning head and sore body, Dad had told him Sheâd run right after theyâd ganked the poltergeist, and Dean had forced that not to matter. Dean still dreamt of brilliant eyes and a star in his hands, but that wasnât real, and didnât matter. Everyone left, so that didnât matter. Mom was gone, Sam didnât want him, and Dad would get sick of him soon.
Dad was already a little sick of him. Dean wasnât Sammy. He wasnât useful except as a blade or gun, and he was too fucking empty to try and be more. And nobody could be Sammy. The kid was brilliant and kind and deserved the whole world, he was made for more, and Dean was just a selfish asshole who wanted Sam to stay with him. Who wanted to stop being lonely, whoâd wanted the one person he knew would always be next to him to stay next to him.Â
But Sam could see the pit. She could see the pit. Dad could see the pit. The only people who couldnât see the pit were people who passed him in the dark and never heard him speak words that were true.
They were the people Dean had planned to waste his time with while Dad was off on one of his solo hunts. Heâd had a motel, a scammed credit card with a full line, and week to kill.
But heâd gotten restless. And there was some strange dancing shit going on just a town over, so Dean was technically staying put like Dad had told him to. And it was barely a case anyway. It had been more of a reason to do something. To not be flat out useless until Dad returned.
Then heâd seen Her in the library, and everything else had vanished. It had just been Her, real and touchable in front of Dean, looking like Sheâd landed from the sky once more for Dean to orbit around.Â
And he had. Damnit, he really had. They fought, and Sheâd bitten him, and heâd bitten back, then the dust settled and Dean still wanted Her. He wanted to walk in Her wake wherever she went. Let Her flood him however she wanted, because at least then heâd be full of that flowing light again. Just for a day, heâd pretend he wasnât pathetic and caked in mud and dirt under his skin, and exist in Her wake like it could be as easy as it felt. He could look into Her blinding eyes until She looked back and he felt electric and alive, he could figure out what the hell that fruit smell was, figure out if She was really just an illusion. If She was working some kind of voodoo on him, and thatâs why he kept forgetting the ache of Her lying, playing, and using him when just She looked at himâtruly fucking looked at himâand said Deano like it was a note in the best song she could ever sing.
Why Her leaving had left a scar a little to the left of his heart, when heâd never seen Her for more than a day. What Sheâd done to him to make it so that as the years had passed, he could sometimes feel Her hand in his, although it had never been there in the first place. Why She haunted in him the dead of nightâlonely or filled with fake companyâby calling his name. His name. Just Dean, echoing in his ears until he was driven mad.
Sheâd never just called him Dean, either.Â
Even now, in the car, She hummed De and brushed Her skin against his like it wasnât a searing, painfully glorious mark She was leaving on him forever.Â
âYouâre gonna have to leave the guns in the car.â
Dean frowned at Her. âNo, I am not going in unarmed like a dumbass-â
âWhat did we say, Winchester?â
She raised Her smooth brows at Dean, and he rolled his eyes.
âWeâre doing it your way.â He muttered. âBut that doesnât mean Iâm not bringing my gun-â
âYes, it does.â She crossed Her arms, pushing her tits a little further up her chest, and Dean needed to get a hold of himself. Heâd seen boobs before, there was no reason this should be making him short-circuit. Â
No reason but they were Herâs. And they looked soft. All of Her looked soft. Soft and pliable, ready to be touched and tended to, capable of Dean sinking some part of himself into until it stuck and Sheâd remember him forever-
Dean blinked as Her hand waved in front of his face. âAre you listening to me?â
âYeah, course I am-â
âWhat did I just say?â
Dean had no ideaâhis mouth slightly open and brow furrowed as he raked his brain for a guessâand She sighed.
âGuns will be useless here, Winchester.â She said, and Dean opened his mouth to protest that guns were about safety when you were a freakinâ hunter, but she pushed on. âAll we need to do is destroy the alter. We can use our hands.â
âWhat if crazy devil lady discovers us?â Dean snapped, giving Her a pointed look. âYouâre gonna ask nicely for Her not to sick that dancing son of a bitch on our asses?â
âShe wonât discover us, thatâs exactly why weâre waiting until sheâs gone to go inside.â She paused, frowning into the air. âThere is a chance sheâs got Vitus patrolling her house-â
âWhat-â
âBut itâll be fine.â She shrugged, twisting a ring on Her finger. âWeâll get through it.â
Dean scowled. âI am not dancing to death tonight, Princess, Iâm bringing my fucking gun-â
âNo, just-â She sighed. âItâs really unlikely sheâs doing that, itâs just a chance-â
âI donât know about your luck, but mine luck isnât good enough to go on chance-â
âWe donât need guns-â
âWe do.â Dean leaned over the arm rest until he could see the little bit of spit on Her lips when she pulled them between her teeth. âWhat if one of us is in trouble? Gunshot will let the other know.â
She gave him a flat look. âI am not using gunshots as a safety system. Thatâs paradoxical.â
âWell unless youâve got something better.â Dean smirked, because he was going to win this one. Theyâd gone to the town hall, and he was breaking into Crazy Ladies house to destroy the alter and leave townâShe said something about saints and pagan gods not liking to be caged, and how Vitus would almost certainly take care of Crazy Lady for themâbut Dean would be damned if he didnât win one thing today.
She was scanning over his face, Her eyes narrowing, and just when Dean was ready to declare victory and tell Her they were going to his motel room so they could grab Her a gun too, She turned away. Pulled fully back and started rifling through the glove compartment, Her brow in an adorable little scrunch as she searched.Â
Dean watched Her, trying not to let his brain latch onto the pretty pout of Her lips from focus, or how quick and deliberate Her fingers were. âWhat are you-â
âHere.â She rose back up and shoved a flashlight into Deanâs hands. âWe can use signals with these. Like morse code.â
Dean frowned. âDo you know morse code?â
âNo-â
âThen how the hell-â
âI said like morse code, Winchester, keep up.â She angled Her own flashlight down, her mouth hanging slightly open as she thought. Dean wanted to push his thumb between Her lips. âWhat if-â
âWhat if I brought my gun-â
âShut up. What if we did one to check in.â She flicked the light on and off, Her words picking up pace as she continued. âTwo for Iâm in danger, three for Iâm safe.â
âWhy not one for danger, so weâre not wasting our fucking time-â
âBecause if you accidentally turn the light on and off Iâll come running, youâll be fine, and I will kill you for making me run.â
Dean pushed down how the idea of Her running to him made his head a little fuzzy, and scoffed. âYou donât run or use guns? How the hell are you still alive?â
She shrugged. âI run when I want. And I can shoot, I just choose not to.â
âWhat, on fucking principle-â
âOn lack of necessity.â She raised Her chin slightly, an odd look flashing over Her pretty features that felt hollow. Felt bigger than the bored, amused pride in Her voice. âI told you, Deano. Iâm just that good.â
Shit, She really was. She was blinding. Burning into Deanâs eyes until heâd keep seeing Her everywhere for a million years, pulling him in with that fruity smell and causing strange explosions along his ribcage and up his spine, lighting up every nerve something raw and golden, and he wasnât alone, how could he be alone when the universe was in front of him and had all been concentrated for him to collide with-
âSheâs out. Letâs go.â
Dean blinked, and pulled his gaze away from Herâs to look out the windshield, right in time to see Crazy Ladyâs car pull out of the driveway. âSo weâre just breaking in?â
She nodded, shooting him a small, teasing grin as she moved out of the car. âUnless you have an objection on principle-â
He couldnât stop the low chuckle the fell from his mouth. âYouâre think youâre really funny-â
âI am funny. Iâm hilarious.â She ducked down to give him a mock-stern look. âHaul ass, Winchester, we got a saint to kill.â
âYes, maâam.â Dean rolled his eyes as he stepped onto the curb, smirking at Her as she rounded the car. âBossy.â
âSuck my dick.âÂ
Dean laughed, and didnât fight his hand as it found its way to Her back, resting easily between Her shoulder blades as they moved around the back of Crazy Ladyâs house. He couldnât stop doing that, but his hand felt right there. It grounded himâDean thought it might be like waking up in your own bedâand he told him She was there. That this wasnât another dream, and he could keep Her down hereâin the blood and dirt, Her strangely ethereal presence perfectly in harmony with how fucking mortal Dean wasâfor as long as possible. That he could hold onto Her if the wind tried to take her away, could keep Her from bruises and pain with one strong movement.
And She wasnât shrugging him off, and it made everything worse. Dean didnât know how to fight this instinct to wrap Her in metal, then trail after Her like a lost puppy. He wanted Her to keep shining on him, and him alone, and stay safe but with him. She was a spoiled brat and a liar and Dean would end up alone again when this was done, but right now he felt useful. He felt wanted.Â
And it was a sickness heâd never want to cure.
Not when She was smiling at Dean as she picked Crazy Ladyâs lock, or flushing as he pushed open the door and guided Her through. Not when She was walking right against him, so he could feel the warmth of Her body, could brush their skin and make it look like an accident. Not when She tripped over the carpet, Deanâs arm shot out, and She was steady and safe. Pressed right against him. Squirming slightly and tilting Her head back to meet his gaze, Her eyes like a searchlight that reached right into the darkest place in Deanâs body as Sheâat least for nowâdidnât seem to be disgusted.Â
âDo you have your flashlight?â She whispered in Deanâs ear, and he held it up with a grin.
âOne to check, two bad, three good.â
She nodded, her hand squeezing on Deanâs arm, and she probably hadnât even been thinking about the movementâHer attention focused on the doors and stairs with a small frownâbut it was going to haunt him for a hundred fucking years.Â
âWe can split floors.â She muttered, Her voice a little far away as she thought. âIâll take up, you take down.â
Dean made a low noise of agreement, and dragged his body away from Herâs. Sheâd be fine. He was right down the goddamn hall, this was far better than Her hunting all by herself, and it wasnât at all Deanâs job to protect Her. She didnât need it. She was here by choice, Sheâd thrown herself into this life, and Dean had enough shit to worry about without being responsible for Her safety.
But that didnât stop the way his stomach clenched and twisted in those brief moments when heâd angle his light out into the hallway, up the stairs, flash it, and then wait for Her response. He didnât know why they couldnât just fucking shout. Sheâd mentioned something about sound being an attractor to music-based saints and deities, but that seemed like bullshit. All of this felt like She was trying to fuck with Dean, make him get sick and tight when Sheâd take too long to answer, make his focus more on the heaviness over his chest between the second and third flashes.Â
He wasnât finding anything. No alter, no suspicious books, no big sign that said Go This Way To Gank Evil. Crazy Lady even seemed downright boring. She had yarn. Who the hell has yarn.
Dean groaned as he existed one of the last roomsâno summoning ritual guides next to the toiletâand sent a flash up the stairs.Â
Nothing. Not one, not two, and definitely not three. Â
Then there was a clattering sound, and Dean roared Her name before he could think, sprinting up the stairs and grabbing his gun out of his pants. She hadnât fucking patted him down and checked, or asked, and he hadnât planned to use it unless it was necessary, and it was. She was in fucking danger, and Sheâd thank Dean when he saved Her hot, annoying, insufferable ass-
She was not in danger. Dean burst into the room, raised the gun to eye level, and froze at sight of Her. Standing with Her hands on her hips over a flipped table, turning to look at him with raised brows.
âWe said no guns.â
âYou said no guns.â Dean grumbled, shoving his own pistol back into his jeans. âI never actually agreed, sweetheart. Shoulda had me shake on it.â
She rolled Her eyes as Dean moved to stand at Her side. âYouâre an ass.â
âI know.â He winked at Her, and felt something at the very bottom of his gut coil and spark when She flushed. âWhy the hell didnât you flash back?â
âI didnât see it, De.â She shrugged, surveying Her mess with a smug expression. âItâs not a great system, in a place with walls.â
âThen why the hell did you make it-â
âYou looked like youâd lose your mind if I didnât.â
Dean stared at Her for a long moment before shaking his head in slight disbelief. âYouâre unbelievable.â
She smiled, Her eye barely flicking to him as she hummed, âI know.â
He scoffed, his hand returning to Her back. His hand kept returning to Her back, like a goddamn magnet, and She kept letting out a slow breath at his touch, and Dean was going to lose his goddamn mind. He might have already lost it, given how She was so close to his body, and he couldnât think of anything outside of how every part of Her should be touching every part of him-
Every thought vanished from Deanâs head when She moved. Sent Dean stumbling behind Her as a blonde man covered in burn scars flickered into the room, his face painted in anger and his arms outstretched to grab at Dean.Â
And now She was in his way.
Deanâs heart was in his ears, his blood too fast in his body, and his tongue was heavy and made of sandpaper, because She wasnât even goddamn running-
He fumbled behind him as he regained balance, the boiled son of a bitch barely a second from grabbing Her, and fired right as grayed and jagged nails reached the space right over Her head.
Saint Ugly exploded into the air as the bullet pushed through him, and Dean lunged forward, grabbing Her wrist as she remained rooted in place.
âWhy the hell did you push me-â
âI- Iâm not-â She shook her head, still rigid in Deanâs grip. âFuck, weâve got to go, now, he might come back-â
Dean scowled. âYou said he wouldnât go after us!â
âI was wrong, okay!â She shouted, but she was also moving. Heâd fucking take it. âMaybe he liked being trapped, I mean itâs not like a bunch of people are worshipping first century Sicilian saints right now!â
âGoddamnit, just-â Deanâs jaw ticked, but he shook it off as he pulled Her out of the room, into the hall. âWeâve got to get the hell out of here,â he muttered. âBefore that crazy music bitch gets back and Saint Ugly turns this place into a blood-â
âWait, Dean!â
He froze at Her shout of his nameâjust his name, like he matteredâturned to Her as something kicked and flared near his heart, before stumbling back as the door slammed, and Saint Ugly appeared right where heâd been standing before.
âShit-â Dean ducked Uglyâhe didnât really seem like a saint right nowâand pulled Her backwards into a bathroom, slamming the door behind them. âHow the hell are we supposed to keep him-â
She let out a strangled gasp, and Dean turned to find Her back pressed to the wall, Her eyes glassy and wide as her hands curled into tight fists.
He half-shouted Her name, grabbing one of Her shoulders and holding her steady as he angled Her face around, looking for a cut or bruise or bump or evidence that Ugly had gotten to Her. âFuck, sweetheart, you gotta talk to me-â
âI canât- I donât-â She looked bloodless, Her lips pulled into a tight line. âIâm sorry-â
âYouâre sorry-â Dean shook his head. âShit, whatâs wrong with you-â
She made a choked sound, still frozen against the wall, and Dean groaned.
âJust, just fucking point to where he got you-â
âNo, I-â Her hand shot to his wrist, gripping him like iron as he stared at Her. âDeal with Vitus, I- Iâm okay-â
âIâm not blind, youâre losing your fucking mind-â
âIâm just, donât-â She dropped Her head slightly, flinching as the lights started to flicker over Her head. âFire, Dean, heâll hate fire-â
Dean glanced around the bathroom. âHow the hell am I supposed to torch the douchebag in here-â
She opened Her mouth to answer, and all that came out was a high noise of fear as She grabbed Deanâs arm, grabbed him forward, and he narrowly missed another attack from Ugly.
The bathroom was not a good place to fight an evil Saint, but Dean could manage. Heâd kicked into high gear the moment he collided with Her body once more, found his footing, and moved. This was what he knew how to do. It didnât matter that She kept saving his ass, or that Ugly seemed hell-bent on Dean and not Her, Dean was comfortable here. Fighting. Trusting his bodyânot his mind, never his mindâto know when to duck, when to pull Her to the side to keep her out of Uglyâs warpath, and knowing how to fight.
And he was fucking fighting. Sheâd been right, anything warm seemed to do Ugly in, because when Dean shoved him back into a heater he roared and vanished again. Dean could work with that. He could grab the thermostat dial and crank it all the way up, turn on the hot water until steam was rising from the sink, and keep his gun raised until he figured out something more permanent. Firing and swinging with his fists, unhooking to iron towel hanger and brandishing it like a blade, splashing the hot water in Uglyâs face-
The son of a bitch didnât like that. He screeched, the scars on his skin starting to bubble and blister like they were new, and Dean felt everything settle. There it was. He had Ugly now.
Dean kept Her within armâs reach as he grabbed the fancy, stupid little paper cups from the sink and started to fill them up.
âDean,â She hissed, and when he glanced at Her she was hugging herself, fingers curled on her arms. âWhat-â
âIâve got it Princess, just-â Deanâs head snapped up as Ugly reappearedâseething and downright disgustingâand his face cracked into a wide grin. âShower time, bitch.â
He threw the cups, splashing the water right on Uglyâs face, and grimaced at the sound of pain that echoed through the bathroom as Ugly melted. Turned into a puddle of slightly brown water on the floor.Â
âIs it-â Her voice was soft as She grabbed the hook of Deanâs elbow, looking over his shoulder with a frown. âItâs glittering, right?â
Dean nodded, letting out a long, slow breath. âYou wanna go?â
âI, uh-â She swallow, leaning a little into Deanâs back, her breathing still shallow. âYeah. Yes please.â
She was really quiet. As they moved out of the house, into Her car, and took off down the street, She barely said a single word. She just stared at her hands and picked at her skin, barely humming when Dean spoke and closing Her eyes for long moments when the silence stretched on. It was fraught and painful, like a live wire Dean had to brace himself against. Like something that could snap.
It was driving Dean insane. He hated it. She was downright docile, not protesting or arguing with Dean when he muttered that he was taking them back to his motel room. Not angry at him about the gun, or telling him how he couldâve handled Vitus better, or doing anything but sitting there and shutting down.Â
And he had to fix it. She didnât even have to smile, She just had to look at him, and breathe evenly, and stop making Dean feel like he was failing Her without ever having Her to begin with.Â
When he parked Her car, Dean sighed, and move his hand to grab Herâs. Raising it out of her lap as She frowned at nothing, placing it carefully on the armrest.
âStop doing that.â He muttered, tapping the raw, bloody skin around Her fingers. âYou good to stay here for a minute?â
She noddedâso small he almost didnât see itâand Dean ran a hand over his face, shaking his head before dragging himself out of the car, watching Her for a long moment through the windshield before he moved on. Her face titled down and cast in shadows, Her fingers curled on the armrest, and Her body so small heâd think she was trying to hide from something.
He wasnât sure Sheâd be there when he got back. And he had to move some shit around, but he didnât know what heâd do if he returned and She was gone. She wasnât moving, wasnât even glancing up to see where they were or where Dean had gone, but he didnât trust it. It could be another con, another trick, another scam that didnât make sense, that he was all too happy to fall for.Â
But he didnât want to drag Her inside. She looked fragile like this, and Dean was not soft or gentle. He didnât care for things. He killed them.Â
And She didnât really look like she could afford to be handled by someone who didnât know how to be gentle right now.Â
And that made Dean sick.Â
But he still, somehow, made himself turn away and walk into the motel room. She might have vanished when he returned, and Dean couldnât know if She was truly just turning to stone and he wasnât doing anything to fix it.
He moved faster because of that. Made sure his bed was passably made before he grabbed his bag, pushed through weapons and cassette tapes and clothing, and found what he was looking for in a matter of minutes. Stuffed all the way at the bottom, exactly where they always were.
Dean tossed Her jacket and flask into the closet, thought about it for a second longer, and tossed all of his laundry in there as well. She didnât need to see his boxers. At least, not the dirty ones.
When he walked back outside, She was still there. She hadnât moved an inch. Fuck, She barely even flinched when Dean knocked on the window. If he didnât know better, Dean wouldnât be sure she was breathing.
He opened the door, hanging off the hood of the car as he lowered himself down to Her eye level.Â
âHey,â he said Her name slowly, and She still didnât look at him. âAre you living in here now?â
She didnât respond, but She did move. Her eyes dragged to Deanâs, and he felt like someone was grinding his bone to dust and sticking needles into his skin. He didnât know what the hell was up with Her, but she looked lost. Like She didnât know where she was, why she was there, or who  She even was. She was watching Dean like he wasnât Dean. Like he was more, and She didnât know what that meant.
âAre you, uhâŚâ Dean trailed off, and She still just stared at him. He didnât have a freaking clue how to deal with this, not like She probably needed. Heâd handled Sammyâs freak outs, when he was a kid. When Dad had grunted that of course you should be careful âround strangers, Sammy, they might try to fuckinâ kill and eat you, and the eight-year-old hadnât taken that very well. But that had been easy. Dean knew Sam, he knew what calmed him down.Â
And he didnât know Her. He couldnât move away from Her, and he kept liking everything he learned about Her against his best judgment, but Dean didnât really know Her. Everything he did know was what She probably didnât want him to, and what he wished he could unlearn. And everything else was useless here. He knew She didnât drink. He knew She knew a lot about monsters, that she wore the best perfume heâd ever smelt. He knew She liked stupid things, and smart things, and telling Dean what to do. He knew he dreamt about dragging Her down into him and kissing Her until she was as dumb as Dean always felt in Her presence. Good dumb, where She rolled around his head and made everything illuminated so Dean knew there was something. That in his pit there was something, that She really was something, and whatever the hell he couldnât stop feeling about Her was something.
He knew how heâd imagined Her being dumb, just for a moment, just for him. How heâd imagined Her being slack jawed and all his in a way he couldnât afford to have, or lose.Â
But that wasnât real. Dean didnât know which parts of Her were real. Dean didnât know Her at all.
Yet he couldnât look away. He couldnât move, couldnât walk away, couldnât let Her rot in the car. It felt unforgivable, and Dean wasnât looking to be forgiven, but he didnât want to be damned.Â
Not for this. Not when it seemed like it might cost Her too.
âCâmon.â Dean grabbed Her carefully, helping Her out of the car and into the motel room. She didnât fight him. She only moved with him like she was rain, and he was wind pushing Her where he wished her to fall.
Down on his bed, Her back flat on the mattress, Her chest starting to rise and fall in a slower pattern.Â
Dean dropped at Her side, bracing his elbows on his knees as he cleared his throat. âSo, uh, you were right. Didnât really need the gun, I guess.â
She sighed, and when she spoke Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper. âYou used the gun, De.â
âDidnât kill the son of a bitch with it, though.â He shrugged, watching Her carefully. Her eyes were closed, her face slack, and Dean wished it didnât make his blood flow lower than it should. âIf we had just brought Hot Pocketâs weâd have ganked the asshole right off the bat.â
âYouâre a genius.â She mumbled, and that sounded better. She still wasnât moving, so Dean wasnât sure.Â
âI know, sweetheart.â He kept going. Just until She smiled, and the whole world lit up because of it, heâd keep going. âWith my brains and your criminal skills, weâll have all the boring, anti-good music puritans out of the handtighting business in a week.â
She opened Her eyes, and they were filled with something Dean didnât recognize. âWe?â
Dean blinked at Her. He hadnât expected Her to hang on the we. Heâd expected Her to tease him about being the brains, or get adorably offended over being called a criminal, or scold Dean for saying handtight again. But Her gaze was intent, and Dean had to acting like his whole body wasnât rioting against him from it.Â
âYeah. We.â He offered Her a small grin, and hoped Sheâd take it. Dean really needed Her to take it. âWe ganked that asshole together, Princess. Weâre an okay team.â
Her eyes sparked slightly, and let out a small huff that didnât sound like pain. âA team.â
âThink thatâs what they call it, yeah.â
âWhat would you call it?â
Dean paused, scanning over Her features. Open. Soft but no longer fragile, and open. And he could see the universe in Her eyes again. âIâd call it a team.â
She hummed. âGood. We can make a business card. No more handtights under our watch.â
Something Dean exploded, and his grin was probably dopey and too wide, but he didnât care. Not when he felt lit up like this. âYou called it handtight again.â
âYeah.â
âYou mean it this time?â
She tilted Her head at him, and that wasnât a smile, but it was closer. âI think so.â
Dean scoffed. âCâmon-â
âI meant it.â She said, Her smile growing slightly. âI think itâs stupid, but I meant it.â
He narrowed his eyes at Her. âAnd youâre not gonna try to make me go back and kill Crazy Lady-â
âNo, I donât have an ulterior- Shit!â She sat up straight on the bed, Her eyes wide. âWe didnât deal with the secretary-â
âFuck, we didnât.â Dean ran a hand over his face, frowning into the air. âDo you think sheâll be able to summon Vitus again?â
She shook Her head. âNo, heâs dead. But she might be able to summon another saint-â
âWill she be able to do it tonight?â
âI donât think so.â She said slowly. âI mean, he was probably like her patron or something, and thatâll take a minute to replace.â
Dean nodded. âOkay. Then it can wait.â
She blinked at him. âBut-â
âLook,â Dean said Her name, giving Her his best stern look. She was in no shape to confront Crazy Lady, Dean didnât really want to leave Her here aloneâHe was certain Sheâd sneak out after him anywayâand this hadnât been fatal. For once, there was something that could wait, and he was going to take full advantage of it. âEither I go deal with it alone, or we stay here. But you just-â He paused, looking Her over slowly. âYou need five. Take it.â
She glared at him. âYouâre not in charge of me, Winchester.â
âNo.â Dean winked at Her. âBut if you get up, Iâll push you down, and I think we both know who will win that wrestling match. Iâm warning you, Princess. I play dirty.â
He knew that flush, and he knew how to grab onto it like fuel. He hadnât seen the hitched breath before though, or the way Her mouth parted slightly.
It made his heart volcanic in his chest.
âYouâre the worst.â She mumbled, and Dean laughed.
âSure, Princess.â Dean moved his hand to Her chest. Just the top of it, nowhere obviously inappropriate, and slow enough to give Her time to shove him away. She didnât. âDown.â
He gave Her a light push, and She moved. Went flat on Her back with a tiny pout and glower at Dean, and he just grinned.Â
âYou can stay here, for the night.â Dean spoke before he could think, and didnât know how to stop. âJust to, uh, save time. When we track down Crazy Lady in the morning. Get it over with sooner.â
She blinked at him, something glazing over Her eyes slightly as she nodded, Her voice soft once more. âYeah. Okay.â
Dean nodded. âAwesome.â
âSure,â She held Her hands over her head, her nails scraping at already raw skin. âFor the case.â
Dean frowned, but pushed past it. âSo you, uh, you want some food-â
âYou donât have to do that.â
âDo what-â
âAct like you want me here.â She mumbled. âLike youâre not just trying to make sure I donât run off and handle the secretary by myself.â
Dean frowned. He wanted Her here. He wanted Her here more than he should. He just didnât want whatever that had been to happen again, because it made him feel foul and rotten and useless, just watching Her breathe too fast and stare at nothing and pick Her skin bloody.
He didnât know how to say that in a way that didnât sound pathetic.Â
But he also hated how She was small again. How She wasnât looking at him. So he took a long breath, and made his words steady. Not certainânot when they werenât the full truthâbut steady.
âIâd like you here, Princess.â He lowered his back flat onto the mattress, keeping his gaze trained on the ceiling as he settled at Her side. âIâd get bored without you. And I think I owe you one question, anyway.â
She sighed. âI- I donât want to answer questions right now.â
âOkay.â He turned to look at Her, and found her already watching him. So close. âYouâre still staying, though.â
She looked at Dean like sheâd never seen him before. Like heâd dragged himself up from the center of the Earthâdrenched in dirt and something stickyâand she wasnât sure what she was seeing was real.
He knew the feeling.
âOkay.â She whispered, and that was it. Dean gave Her a small smile, She returned it, and this silence didnât feel like a live wire. It felt like the whole world, just in Deanâs shitty motel room. She turned her head back to look at the slightly stained and cracked ceiling, Dean looked at Her, and he couldnât sit up. If he sat up, Sheâd find a way to leave. He didnât want Her to leave. Breathing was easier when She was next to him. The world felt more colorful, and he felt like something had moved and found a home in a strange depression in the cavity of his chest. It washed always all the foulest parts of him and made him feel clean, shining so brightly that the remaining filth didnât seem all that bad to live with.Â
And it was fake. It was irrational and fake, another scam this enigma of a woman was probably trying to pull on him, and Dean still didnât give a fuck. Heâd believe lie after lie if he could keep feeling useful to someone like he was useful to Her. Just a voice and hands and a mouth whoâd made Her smile again, and cleared that glassy look from Her eyes.Â
He should ask Her now. Demand to know why the hell Dad had found all that shit on Her, demand for there to be an explanation. A reason that made him think this moment could last.
But he didnât ask. He just basked in the glow and gravity of Her, and didnât bother to fight his hand as if drifted across the mattress between them. Brushing his pinky with Herâs, and doing nothing more. Keeping his breathing steady as She didnât move for a long moment, blinking at the ceiling and not looking at Deanâbut not moving away eitherâand grinning wide and dumb when Her pinky hooked into his.Â
âI can sing, too.â
Dean blinked at Her. âWhat?â
âYou were shocked I could play the piano and dance.â She whispered, and even in side-profile Her smile was blinding. âI can sing too.â
âYour uncle also teach you that?â
âNo. I taught myself.â She sighed. âGrowing up I didnât⌠I didnât have much else to do.â
When She turned to look at him, Dean felt like heâd been punched in the gut. All the air was gone from his body as She scanned over him, and Her eyes were made of stars, and Her face had fallen right from a heaven that wasnât real-
âLed Zeppelin, huh?â
Dean huffed, rolling his eyes. âDonât you dare trash Zeppelin, Princess-â
âThat was a neutral statement.â She gave him an amused look. âI wasnât going to make fun of you.â
He scowled. âYeah, sure-â
âI wasnât!â She rolled on Her sideâHer pinky still locked in Deanâsâand his body was either going numb or coming alive for the first time. âI donât make fun of things people like, De. Art is inherently subjective.â
He chuckled, ready to poke and tease Her, but she looked so goddamn sincere that the words died on his tongue, and he had to cough slightly to find his voice again. âYou got thoughts on Zep, then?â
âI have thoughts on everything.â
That pulled a low laugh from Deanâs chest. âNo shit, Princess-â
She scowled. âSorry I care-â
âNo, youâre not.â Dean grinned at Her. âAnd itâs better than being a boring fucking bum with no thoughts.â
âI guess, yeah.â She gave him an odd look, her words slow. âDo you⌠do you want to hear my thoughts on Led Zeppelin?â
Dean nodded, shooting Her a wink. âBe careful, sweetheart. Youâre not the only one with thoughts.â
She was not careful. She spoke so fast and gestured like a mad woman, sitting up on Her knees for more dramatic motions and saying every word like a spell that just drew Dean further into Her. Her thoughts on Led Zeppelin were acceptableâthere was always room for improvement, not everyone could appreciate their genius the way Dean didâbut neither of them seemed to know how to finish a conversation. Dean certainly couldnât remember. He kept following Her down every path she dragged him, until he was talking about food andcartoons, and She told him a story about making her father watch old Disney movies, and He was telling Her a story about Sammy trying to reenact a whole episode of Scooby Doo with toy soldiers for him on his birthday.Â
Dad didnât even know that story. Heâd been off hunting. But She was giggling and smiling and leaning down over Deanâs body, so heâd tell it to Her a million more times.
âAnd Sam, he-â She was covering Her mouth to stifled Her laugher. It wasnât working. âHe tried to make you kiss the Daphne solider?â
âHe thought it was the best present he could give me.â Dean smirked up at Her. If he hooked his arm around Her waist and tugged her down, he could kiss Her. âAm I gonna lose you if I tell you I did it?â
She snortedâit was the cutest fucking thing Dean had ever seenâand gave up completely on trying to cover her sheer joy at his embarrassment. He was okay with that.
âDid you,â She took a long breath to control her laughter, Her eyes glowing on Deanâs. âDid you use tongue?â
He placed a hand over his chest, acting offended at the very question. âCourse not, Princess, I donât put out on the first kiss-â
She raised her brows. âPut out your tongue?â
âItâs my second-best limb, sweetheart.â He winked at Her, savoring every bit of Her reactionâflush, hitched breath, widened gazeâthat told him She might feel this. She could, maybe, feel this, and nothing else would have to matter again. âGirlâs gotta earn it.â
She rolled Her eyes, but her voice was a little higher than before. âThe tongue is a muscle, dumb dumb.â
âHuh.â Dean paused, furrowing his brow in thought. âSecond best appendage?â
âI mean, I think ranking them in the first place is stupid-â
âYou only say that,â Dean cut Her off with a smirk. âBecause you donât have one thatâs obviously the best like I do.â
She gave him a flat look. âAnd what appendage would that be, Winchester.â
Dean wiggled his brows at Her. âWhy donât you guess- Ow!â
Sheâd shoved his arm, and Dean grabbed it as dramatically as he could, acting like Sheâd stabbed him.
âGod, Iâm dying, youâve killed me-â
She snorted again. âOh, fuck off, you big baby-â
He pouted at Her, barely containing his grin. âThatâs no way talk to your victim-â
âShut up- Dean!â
He grabbed Her arm, yanked Her back down to the mattress, and Dean would never allow Her to stop calling him his full name again. It sounded awesome when She said it. Not just a name, but Dean. She said Dean like it could only be him, and no one else. It was just them in the roomâa little bit just them in the universeâbut there could be a million other Deanâs but heâd still know She was only calling for him.Â
âYouâre such an asshole-â
He shrugged, not flinching as She glowered at him and slapped his hand away from Her. She was half fallen over his body, wiggling slightly but not trying to pull away, and he didnât really have the brainpower to think about anything but that. âItâs payback, Princess.â He smirked up at Her. âTeach you to shove me.â
âYeah,â She swallowed, and Dean was deeply aware of how She was molded perfectly into him. Too perfectly. âI learned my lesson, Winchester. Good work.â
Dean could taste the shift. It was sudden, but had still lay under everything, just waiting to be dragged back to the surface.Â
And here it was. Here She was. The sugar was gone, but the fruit was strong, and Dean was intoxicated by it. Intoxicated by Her, so close and beautiful above him, beautiful in a way that made him sure She was royalty. There was no other explanation. That must be where Her wealth came from, from being created to be worship and obeyed like a living god. To be followed down, down, down, shining wherever She could be seen and coming apart only in the dark.
Dean could be Her dark. He could be the one to stand near Her in the shadows and unravel her where it was only them. The one who smirked when She told him what to do because heâd do it then and make Her scream his name later. Scream it like that. Like She had before.
And he still didnât know where the hell that desire came from, but it didnât matter. He felt it, more than heâd ever felt most things. And She was so fucking close, and Her eyes were wide and unreadable and infinite on his, and Her breath was warm on his face, and all it would take is a small movement to find out if heâd be worthy of being Her dark-
Deanâs phone buzzed in his pocket, and they both tensed. She stared at Dean, he stared at Her, and he tried not to dwell on how empty he felt when She rolled away, giving him space to pull his phone out of his pocket, glance at the contactâDad, shitâand put it to his ear.
âHey-â
âDean, thereâs a bus down to Louisiana that should be leavinâ in about an hour. Pack up and catch it.â
Dean frowned, sitting up on the bed and adjusting his grip on the phone. âDad, I donât-â
âThis son of a bitch is two-man job.â Dad snapped, his word clear through the phone static. âNeed you here by the morning. Roomâs paid for âtill next week, weâll come back and grab everythinâ when we get this asshole.â
Dean swallowed, glancing over at where She was watching him with a far too neutral expression. âIt leaves in an hour?â
âThatâs what I said, boy.â Dad paused, his voice dropping in a way that Dean knew meant he was frowning. That meant he was, rightfully, sick of Dean speaking. âThis gonna be a problem?â
âNo, sir.â Dean muttered, running a hair through his hair, suddenly unable to meet Her gaze. âIâll be there by morning.â
âGood. Iâll be waitinâ at the station.â
That was all Dean got before the line went dead.
âWas that your dad?â Her voice was small, back to the soft tone from before, and Dean grimaced inside as he nodded.
âYeah, I, uh, I gotta go.â He gave Her an apologetic look, standing from the bed and pulling his shit into his bag. âDad needs my help on his case.â
âOh.â She nodded slowly, Her voice growing back to its usual tone, but still not easy. Still not fully Her. âOkay.â
âYou can stay here.â He offered. âItâs paid for. And Iâm, fuck, Iâm out in an hour but we can go back to Crazyâs house now, I guess-â
She shook Her head, and something in Dean dulled at the fucking passiveness on Her face, in Her voice. âItâs fine, Winchester, I know how to handle a religious fanatic.â
He couldnât just nod and let go. He couldnât just walk out the door. âIâm serious, if we leave now-â
âIâm serious too.â She crossed Her arms, still watching him from the bed. âIâve had⌠a lot of practice. Iâll be fine.â
He made a low, grumbling noise, and glanced at the closet. âYou gonna stay here?â
âYeah,â She said, watching Dean carefully. âI mean, if youâre really okay with it-â
âYeah, like I said, itâs paid for.â He moved to the closet, blocking Her view of the mess inside with his body as he shoved the jacket and flask into his bag. Whatever this was felt like it was growing, and he was not about to bomb it with how much of a freaking creep heâd been for the past three years. âI, uh,â he rose back up, giving Her a small, nervous grin. âIâll call you. To check on how dealing with Crazy went. And you need me, call me.â
She sighed. âYeah, got it.â
Dean frowned. She didnât believe him. âI will call you, Princess.â
âOkay, Winchester.â She gave him a close-lipped smile, and Deanâs brows furrowed. âSee you in a few years, I guess.â
âYouâll see me sooner.â
âSure-â
âTell you what.â Dean dropped his bag, marching across the room to stand above Her at the foot of the bed, and not allowing himself to get caught up in the euphoria of standing above Her at the foot of the bed. âIâll call, and weâll see each other by three months.â
âDe-â
âPinky promise.â
He stuck out his pinky, and She gaped at him.
âAre you serious?â
âAs cancer, sweetheart.â Dean flexed his finger, raising his brows. âI take my pinky promises very seriously.â
She rolled Her eyes, but didnât say anything as she scanned over his face. Dean just reminded silent and still. Whatever She wanted to see Sheâd find, and it was all Her. Her call. Her choice if Dean remained alone until they collided again, if heâd keep forgetting, over and over and over, how to hate Her until the very idea of hating Her was just a far-off fog.
And when She raised her hand and locked her picky with his, Dean felt something settle a little to the side of his heart. Something he hadnât felt in two years, and came back with an almost brutal force as She smiled at him, and Her voice fully regained that siren-like quality that might end up the death of him.
Heâd just have to see.
âSee you soon, Winchester.â She said, and he grinned.
âYes, maâam.âÂ
âYou gonna take my car?â
Dean blinked, realizing the keys were still in his pocket. âI was actually just gonna walk, itâs a small town-â
âTake it.â She shrugged. âYou can take a long route, spend some time driving. Iâll walk and find it by the station in the morning.â
Dean stared at Her, unable to wrap his head around what exactly She could be. A princess, an angel, the hottest lady heâd ever seen, sent to tempt him and make him go goddamn mad with whatever the hell She was doing to him.Â
âAre you-â
âIâm sure. Bye, Dean.â She gave him another smile, and he felt like he was drowning in the moon.Â
That didnât even make any goddamn sense.
âI, uh, bye.â He made a stuttering motion to the door, andâbefore he could think betterâturned around, leaned down, and pressed a small kiss to the top of Her head.
And he was a goner.
Because this time as he left Her, everything was still made of color.
And nothing felt lonely at all.
End Note: John Winchester winning terrible parent of the century three chapters in a row heâs on a roll folks.
Thank you so so so much for reading!! If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
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#Enemies to Friends to Lovers#slow burn#smut#eventual smut#angst#x reader#reader insert#eventual romance#romance#canon typical violence#canon divergent au#jensen ackles#jensen ackles characters#female reader#godmadeaterribleerror#pining#idiots in love#18+ mdni#Babylon The Great (supernatural)#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester#dean fanfiction#dean winchester x you#dean x reader#dean x you#no use of y/n#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural#fluff
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Trying my hand at little scenarios involving hybrid/shifter!141. I tried to think of different creatures than I've seen for some of the boys, but some were too perfect to pass up. This is probably lame, but here you go...
TW: Quick mentions of breeding/pregnancy, obsessive behavior.
You're a thief that takes more and more risks every time. A sleazy man in a tavern gives you a contract to steal something worthwhile from the supposed dragon hybrid that lives in the mountains. You agree, maybe half a pint too deep.
You journey out into the woods later that week and find a looming cave. It's easy to enter. If you weren't blinded by your determination, you'd realize how suspicious that was.
The place is warm and full of gold, as expected. There are some other random treasures as well. You had never seen a dragon hoard before. It baffles you where someone even finds all of this stuff.
As you're elbow deep in one section of golden items, you hear a low timbre behind you. You happened to visit Dragon!Price right in the middle of his most intense rut.
And being in a rut means he obsessively hoards.
You don't mind if he adds you to the collection, do you? Maybe he'll pin you amongst his trophies and stuff you full of his clutch. He's been alone for a long time.
Safe to say, the news of your "death" spreads through the town when you fail to return from your excursion.
âĄââĄ
You're the princess/prince of a struggling kingdom. The king and queen got dragged into a war they could not handle in order to keep their alliance with another neighboring kingdom going.
After the castle suffers from an invasion, your parents plead for the gods to send you protection. You are their only child and heir to the throne, they cannot lose you. They will hold off on making any marriage alliances in exchange for peace as long as they can.
Gaz appears on the steps of the castle one day. He exudes a regal energy and seems to know everything about you instantly as his heartfelt eyes analyze you closely. He's a cross between a lion and eagle, and his wings alone are majestic.
Your parents are overjoyed. The gods must have sympathized with them to send a Griffin hybrid. They take it as good fortune.
They don't seem to mind as Gaz slowly imprints on you. Giving you soft, newly preened feathers. Tucking you under his wings whenever you're exploring. Marking you with his scent in every way.
Griffins are known to protect treasure. And even once the war is over, Gaz knows he's not letting you go.
âĄââĄ
Every time someone has died in your village, you see a large black wolf right before. The thing is emaciated, though doesn't seem deterred in the slightest. He's lithe and quick regardless. The village has taken to calling him Ghost.
You often find him prowling the graveyard whenever you go to visit a family member who has died. The pup watches from a distance, and when you end up crying, the canine howls for you. You swear his eyes glow orange in the gloom of the graveyard. For a feral animal, it sure is interesting.
You always try to find his den. It must be somewhere in the premises of the graveyard if he's always there. Your bleeding heart tells you to help the poor stray.
One time, you manage to catch the bastard and he whines the whole way. He nips at the heavy leash you've subdued him with. You manhandle the beast into your little cottage and drag him to the bathroom.
Your bathroom didn't survive the wolf's stubborness.
He reluctantly jumps up onto the bed with you that night, and when you scratch behind his ear he lets out a bitter chuff as he leans into it and wags his tail.
Just don't scream too loud when you wake up to a grown man wrapped around you. He smells oddly like death.
âĄââĄ
There's a seal that won't leave you alone. It chuffs and flops on the floorboards of your simple fishing boat, making it rock slightly as you stare the creature down. You're unsure of whether or not to play submissive or be intimidating.
The seal stares at you with big eyes, nostrils flaring as it analyzes you. It doesn't seem threatened, scared, or really anything. It's just one very big seal that lumbers around.
He dives back into the water after a little bit, and you sigh in relief.
But he shows up every time you're out. Blubbered form hitting the deck and glistening under the sun. You grow wary less and less as the visits continue. You even offer him some fish from the collection you already caught.
You, admittedly, become attached to the creature. Not many people can say they befriended a seal.
And the oddly docile animal takes your affection and runs with it.
One day, you wander down to your docked boat in the cove and find a man lounging against the edge. He fiddles with some ocean worn charm as he hums to himself.
The man beams when he spots you. You don't notice the pelt he leaves on the floor as he walks your way.
You arrived in Johnny's life just in time for mating season. At this point, he doesn't care if you take his pelt. He will purposefully "lose" it and have it magically appear somewhere in your belongings.
#hybrid!141#task force 141#call of duty#captain john price#captain john price x reader#john price#john price x reader#captain price#captain price x reader#john soap mactavish#john soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish#soap mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish#simon riley x reader#simon riley#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#kyle garrick x reader#gaz garrick#gaz garrick x reader#headcanon#shifter!141#shifter au#hybrid#dragon!price#selkie#hellhound
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nagumo yoichi x gn!reader, sfw, not beta read
cw: slight suggestive content, explicit language
notes: wait if you catch several typos/grammar mistakes, that's not on me, that's on ellipsus for constantly glitching out today and preventing me from making edits. this is a drabble, too, and i don't proofread those oops. anyway, i thought it'd be funny if nagumo also got into a relationship the same way sakamoto and aoi got together. i also think it's hilarious that the npcs in this series don't give a fuck lol. nagumo also comes off as weird af at first LMAO wait this was kinda meant to satisfy my belief that nagumo has a sleeper build iykwim - wait i'm realizing there are several references + tidbits in this piece so it'd be funny if y'all catch anything hehe
"WELCOME!"
greeting customers is arguably the least rewarding thing about your job. most people who walk in ignore you, some even look annoyed, and you hate public speaking in the first place. you think you lose five minutes of your life every single time you raise your voice, and those five minutes have probably accumulated to years by now.
you sigh. it can't be helped. another part-timer recently quit, and you can't possibly let the manager of this convenience store, an elderly man in his 60s, take on additional night shifts when he's already handling the early mornings.
besides, there are some pros. since the store is located near a university and a residential area, there are familiar faces. there's a group of computer science students that often drop by, and they play the occasional harmless prank on you. there's also that mother-daughter pair that buys frozen taiyakis every saturday as a reward for the daughter for finishing her weekly violin lesson. and perhaps the most intriguing of them all is a man that pops by every three days around midnight.
he wears the same tan trench coat, along with a loose patterned button-up and black pants. before winter set in, he always went straight to the freezer to fish out a popsicle, bar already in his mouth as he walked over to pay, but in the past two weeks, he's been opting for a cup of hot coffee and small packets of candy instead.
it seems he's craving sour gummies today. with a swift swipe of your arm, you grab and scan the barcode on the back of the plastic bag, and type in the amount for his drink.
"your total's ÂĽ600."
"no discounts for your most loyal customer?"
startled, you freeze, determined to avoid eye contact. you've had conversations with other customers before, but never with him. he's always left as quickly as he came, so you're caught off-guard by this unexpected interaction.
"u-uh, not this time, sorry. i can ask the manager if we have a loyalty program, if you want."
the man hums as he nods happily and hands you two ÂĽ500 coins. his unbothered smile unnerves you a bit, so you count the difference and return the loose change in personal record time.
but he doesn't leave, and instead, asks, "any thoughts on getting hitched?"
your spit-take's almost comical, but the absurdity of the situation takes precedent. "w-what now?"
"one of my co-workers recently got married to a convenience store worker, so i'd thought i'd give it a try, too!"
you're practically shaking from how anxious and overwhelmed this person's making you feel. it doesn't help that he's clearly not disturbed at all, which almost makes you doubt your own ethics and gut instincts. but, the more you think about it, the more you're sure there's something wrong with this man and not you.
"i-i, uh, well, i'm not interested in-in getting married right now."
"oh, that's a shame! guess i'll try again tomorrow!â
â
you wake up with a jolt, almost knocking the crown of your head into nagumo's chin. though, of course, there's no actual need to worry about that.
"hm, what's wrong?"
with a workbook on bayesian statistics in one hand, a pen resting on his ear, and his other arm folded behind his head, he looks down at you curiously. despite having just woken up, your head's never been clearer, and you sit up between his legs before looking behind your shoulder and shooting a glare at him.
you ask, "can i punch your face?"
nagumo laughs, probably already imagining your futile attempts. "sure! but can i ask why?"
"i dreamt about our first conversation, and it reminded me that you're kinda fucked up."
your boyfriend chuckles more, amused by your moral qualms. "you could say that."
the thought that your relationship is weird has never left you. you're (still) a simple convenience store cashier, and nagumo gets filthy rich by murdering people. you were never that interested in the world around you, having been too busy paying back student loans and applying to other jobs throughout your early adolescent years to care about other things, so when he told you about the JAA and the establishment of the assassin industry as a whole, you were shocked. but that's always as far down into the rabbit hole as you let yourself go.
from this view, with nagumo spread out before you, he doesn't look dangerous at all. if anything, he resembles a nerdy graduate student, thanks to his obvious passions for mathematics and reading. moreover, his short-sleeved t-shirt exposes his tattoo-riddled arms, and the bottom of it has ridden up, giving you a pleasurable view of his hip bones and happy trail. in fact, when the two of you got into bed together for the first time (don't ask how he succeeded in seducing you), you were surprised by his physique. his outside clothes certainly don't do his abs or biceps justice.
anyway, the point is, he looks like your fantasy of a dreamy, hot, geeky boyfriend, not your local professional hitman-for-hire.
you sigh. you're not going to punch his stupidly attractive face. you lie back down onto his chest, burrowing your nose into the crook of his neck. you do let yourself get away with a pinch to his cheek.
then, you mutter, "don't hurt me."
"i won't," he chirps.
nagumo presses the knuckles of his free hand into the knots around your shoulder blades and flips his book back open.
he knows you mean more than in the literal sense.
#sakamoto days#sakadays#sakamoto days x reader#sakadays x reader#sakamoto days fluff#sakadays fluff#nagumo yoichi#yoichi nagumo#nagumo x reader#nagumo yoichi x reader#yoichi nagumo x reader#sakamoto days nagumo#sakadays nagumo#nagumo sakamoto days#nagumo sakadays#carrot cake!
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Febuwhump Day 14: Becoming the Monster
pairings: gen
summary: a story about y/n, Redbullâs new second driver, told in non-sequential order
a/n: I love febuwhump and have participated before for other fandoms but this is a first for me â attempting to compete it via smau only. Hopefully I can write a complete story eventually and I will be posting it on its own masterlist in the correct order to read but itâll be written based on the febuwhump prompt list! @febuwhump
a/n2: based on the 2024 year; sorry checo but you got replaced earlier!
a/n3: listen I like Lando but I needed a villian here
Masterlist | Taglist
y/n_gossip

liked by user, user, and 1,836,622 others
tagged: y/n_rb, landonorris
y/n_gossip: it seems like little Lando Norris might be thinking of a matador career â he keeps tempting the bulls! After a few close calls with Verstappen, Norris and L/N collided resulting in a DNF for our girl with some pretty harsh words coming from both of their radios afterwards.
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user1: this is what racing is!
âłuser2: I know â I was on the edge of my seatâŚ
user3: pretty harsh?? Girl sounded like she was gonna run him down on foot and take him out
âłuser4: lol did you see the rb team after she got back to the garage?
âłuser5: they literally just picked her up and moved her away from the reporters đđ
user6: oh the post race interviews are gonna slap
âłuser7: I canât wait!
user8: thatâs so completely unfair! y/n was ahead at the apex â Lando should have given it away, not crashed into her
âłuser9: seriously?? Where on earth did you get that information??
âłuser8: uhh by watching the screen??
user10: oh shitâŚ.
âłuser11: Landoâs post interview??
âłuser10: how dare he say something like that???
f1gossip

liked by user, user, and 1,457,987 others
Transcript:
interviewer: and what are your thoughts on y/n and your collision today?
Lando: obviously not ideal. You know you never want to be in a collision- especially when itâs not your fault. Y/NâŚshe should spend less time with Max, donât need her becoming another monster, ya knowâŚ
f1gossip: what an interview! During his post race interview for Austria 2024, where he was forced to dnf after two different collisions with both Redbulls, Norris didnât hold back his thoughts. During this brief moment, he talked about the close friendship between this yearâs Redbull drivers â saying that y/n (a rookie) should take a step back from her more senior teammate because no one â[needed] her becoming another monster,â. He also went on to say that he was losing respect for Verstappen and the way he raced.
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user12: did he really just fucking say that?
âłuser13: oh my god he did
âłuser14: itâs even worse when you actually watch it because you can just barely see max next to him â when Norris said this, both max and the interviewer froze
âłuser13: i mean i would too. Thatâs a really harsh thing to say about someone
user15: people want cunty f1 back again but canât handle this little spat??
âłuser16: cunty? Yes. Whatever this was? Absolutely not
user17: heâs just salty sheâs better then him
âłuser18: how do you figure that??
âłuser17: she literally won her very first f1 race? Heâs been racing for years and only just won his first this year
âłuser18: it doesnât count really. Everyone knows that redbull cheats
âłuser17: oh my god just shut up
user20: i feel bad for y/nâŚit really wasnât her fault nor did it affect lando too much but heâs (someone sheâs said she looks up too before) putting her on blast with some pretty harsh wordsâŚ
âłuser21: she looks up to him??
âłuser20: yeah! Sheâs said multiple times that she really admires how open he is talking about his mental health and that she really wanted to emulate him
âłuser21: oh ouchâŚthen today and that interview has got to hurtâŚ
user22: anyone else interested in what sheâs gonna do to retaliate?
âłuser23: đđžââď¸đđžââď¸
Private Messages, Max and y/n
Taglist
@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby @freyathehuntress @angelluv16 @nichmeddar @mxm47max @justaf1girl @a-beaverhausen @tallrock35 @elizamoe133 @imlonelydontsendhelp @jessica3478 @il0vereadingstuff @msimpala-67
#febuwhump2025#Febuwhumpday14#tw car accident#tw harsh words#tw slander#f1 smau#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 instagram au#platonic grid x you#platonic grid x y/n#platonic grid instagram au#platonic grid fic#platonic grid fanfic#platonic grid imagine#platonic grid x reader#platonic grid smau#platonic grid#formula 1 social media au#formula 1 smau#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader
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Pac- how can you be the b*tch that never loses<3
(the pictures do not belong to me. All rights go to the original owner)
Pile 1. Pile 2.



Pile 3 ^
Pile 1:
Go tell your friends about it (about it)
Go tell 'em what you know, what you seen
How I roll, how I get it on the low (oh)

You have a really bright aura. You should really use it. it will take you to great heights. You have this ability to shed enlightenment over literally anyone. That's your superpower. Your connections are very important. You should work on your tolerance. Try to not get so involved in matters that don't concern you. Be helpful but to an extent. I see you giving A LOT to other people. But please look after yourself first. You are sensitive to certain things. Use this ability. Don't let it use you. Okay?. You need to learn how to balance your pride and when to compromise. I see you leaning toward one side more but bby different situations need to be dealt with differently. Yes balance. Another card is also pointing towards balance. Learn balancing things and you will be unstoppable.
There has been some loss. There is some anger too. And bby it is only contributing towards emotional instability. Don't let it control you. You are made for greater things. You might have felt left out a lot in your life but that's because people don't know what to do with you and your amazing self. You are different. And that's such a good thing no? Why don't you let yourself accept it. You won't fit in and that's because you simply are just better than them. Use it!!!!!!
Your brain is AMAZING. Your Ideas are amazing. You can play with emotions!!!!!! Girlllll!!! You really need to go out there and get it. Period.
Additional- Libra, high achiever, materialistic, 3, 1, affinity, triumph.
Song for you - tell your friends by the Weeknd
Pile 2: a bit 18+
You gotta be a star to jump over the moon so when you touch on me
You're a shooting star (a star), oh yeah (a star)
You know you got somethin' for the world to see and there I go
Still wondering who you are (a star, a star, yeah)

Your friendships are very important. Your communication has so much potential to make you a winner. Why don't you use it? You might love solitude and your own company but bby you gotta get out to play. And to win. Sympathy seems to be something that you know how to use. You have it in you. Again, friendship and community has been highlighted. There is a gift that you have inherited from your ancestors. You also seem to have a power in creating suspense and mystery and it's really attractive. You should use it more. Oohhh I see that you are quite feisty. You are not someone who just simply agrees to anything. You oppose it. You make things interesting. Yum. Are you possessive? Because people really admire it in you. In a sexy way. There is this arrogance that even though is conventionally bad but your arrogance is different. It makes things interesting almost. You give people ecstasy. This euphoric feeling. Very feminine energy from this pile.
Additional - cat, business, money.
Song for you - star by Megan thee stallion (feat. Lucky Daye)
Pile 3-
You came along when I needed a savior
Someone to pull me through somehow
I've been torn apart so many times
I've been hurt so many times before
So I'm counting on you now
Somebody already broke my heart

Straight up I'll tell you that i got very slippery energy. Very teasing. I also had this sudden moment where I got really angry. I feel like this pile is very "good girl gone bad" types. Past wounds. You have been hurt. A LOT. There was an earlier version of you that has been killed. You are an entirely new person. I'm getting very "don't touch or I'll break your hand" energy. Ummm. Baddie. Haha. Anyway, there has been a lot of stress, overworking or like some overwhelming experience. Too much to handle. Or maybe that's what people made you feel, that you are too much to handle or very high maintenance. But what do they know. They didn't deserve you (i suddenly felt like I had to tell you this). So true. They definitely don't deserve you. Maternal trauma. I'm so sorry bby. Heavy theme of transformation. Keep your good fait up bby. Do something for your soul and watch how you win. You have been oppressed a lot and it's time to break free. Don't hide. Despite all this, there is an innocence to you and it drives people crazy. Girlllllll. I got goosebumps. Please invest in yourself. Omg are you seriously okay bby? I'm so sorry. But it's over now. Get up and make sure nobody ever thinks about hurting you ever again. Don't suppress your memories bby. Feel them and let them transform you. Girl you are going to win.
Additional - heart, tears, fox, red, 8th house, scorpio.
Song for you - somebody already broke my heart by sade (this song is like a dedication from you to yourself)
#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot#tarot cards#tarot reading#tarotblr#free readings#intuitive readings#tarot requests#18+ tarot#18+ readings
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Hi! I really loved all your works, especially This Means War. I wanted to ask if you can write the second part cause itâs sooo interesting
All Is Fair (This Means War Pt ll)

warning: typical squid game stuff (guns mention, blood and death), love triangle (?), reader replaces gyeong-su (player 256) | ooc(?), these are my interpretations of these characters, please be respectful even if my opinions differ from your own
characters: kang dae-ho (player 388), thanos/choi su-bong (player 230)
[minor characters mentioned: players 456, 001, 390, 222, 124, 380 (seong gi-hun, young-il/hwang in-ho, park jung-bae, kim jun-hee, nam-gyu, se-mi]
-
A/N: you guys have asked and i shall deliver! i did my nails before writing this and lemme tell you typing an entire fic on my phone with acrylics was not easy work! i hope you guys enjoy :3
ENJOY!
ââââ*.¡:¡.â˝â§ ⌠â§âž.¡:¡.*ââââ
your head was completely reeling.
you were thrown into these games completely blind. sure you were desperate and strapped for cash, but as soon as you bore witness to countless people lose their lives over a game of Red Light Green Light, you decided that no amount of money was worth such a heartless and gruesome death.
so you were counting your blessings when the time to vote rolled around, absolutely you were going to vote âXâ and get the everloving fuck out of there, as you were sure everyone else would make the same choice. i mean, who in their right mind would want to stay in such a place? you figured that even if people were desperate, the stakes were just too high for anyone to handle. although your brief conversation with your new friend player 388, AKA dae-ho, seemed to lift your mood just a bit, you wanted to get the hell out of that place. you found yourself approaching him when the players gathered up to await their chance to cast their vote, you figured it couldnât hurt to stay close to a friend, especially now.
âat least we still get our share of the prize money if we do end up leaving.â you commented, as the players before you began to disperse into the X and O sides of the room. âyeah, i guess..â dae-ho seemed distant, you noticed that he was analyzing that golden, luminous piggy bank that loomed over everyone as some sick motivator. âbut even that much wonât be enough for some peopleâs debts.â you chuckled at the last bit of his statement, covering your mouth with your hand as you did so. âwhatâs the joke?â he asked, looking down at you with a raised eyebrow. âi mean, if youâre debt is that big, then thereâs bigger problems for sure.â you giggled, met with silence from 388. you looked up at him to be met with an expression that caused a lump in your throat; realizing what you had just said. âoh my god wait, i didnât mean-â âitâs fine.â he interrupted, attempting to hide the shame in his voice. coincidentally, that just so happened to be the exact moment that dae-hoâs number was called, and he walked up without a word. you felt your cheeks grow warmer, but this time it wasnât from any good feelingâ you were completely embarrassed at how ignorant you had just been with your friend, and unfortunately for you, someone else had seen this whole uncomfortable interaction take place.
thanos approached you with swift succession once dae-ho had cast his vote, which you watched as your heart sank; seeing the number increase by one underneath the âOâ on the scoreboard. the purple-haired rapper had been standing behind you for a prolonged period of time before he made himself known with a
tap tap tap
on your shoulder, you whipped around and felt your expression harden when you realized the culprit. âseems like homeboy is too sensitive, thatâs unfortunate.â he joked, crossing his arms as he referenced dae-hoâs general direction quickly with his gaze. you rolled your eyes and scoffed. âyou donât have a clue whatâs going on, itâs none of your business.â you didnât want to give the obnoxious has-been any more attention than he was already getting, as you were given full demonstration of before. you turned away, restoring your view to the front which virtually did nothing to deter thanos, as he followed suit and adjusted his own positioning accordingly. âwhatever happened, it definitely wasnât your fault-â you couldnât believe how persistent this guy was, it pissed you off to the nth degree. âwhy do you care? it has nothing to do with you.. i donât know why you bother inserting yourself.â you refused to even look at him, you didnât know how or why but he was truly pissing you off at the very moment.
âshit, yâ donât need to be on the offensive seĂąorita.â thanos crossed his arms, eyeing every single player who voted X. you shot him a glare, where did he get off giving you a nickname like that? âdonât you dare call me that again.â you hissed through gritted teeth, poking him in the chest as you said so. this caught you and thanos completely off guard, but you werenât surprised you were lashing out now; this place made everyone tense, clearly. you heard your number get called just then, talk about perfect timing, and you were able to leave the situation with the last word. but little did you know then, you would not be having the last laugh.
â.ŕłŕż*:シ
it was back up those never ending stairs again. one thing was for certain, you were getting an insane workout through all of this. you scoured the numbers of the crowd for dae-hoâs 388, and sure enough you found him. he was more towards the front, and you shamelessly pushed past various other contestants to get to him. you wanted to set the record straight about what you had said yesterday, the moment was on constant replay in your brain during lights out and you truly just felt awful. the look of hurt on his face would forever be imprinted in the back of your mind, even if he forgave you.
â388!â you called out, catching his attention. much to your shock, he spun around rather earnestly at the sound of your voice, to be honest you were expecting him to ignore you. âoh, hey (Y/N)! i was wondering where you were.â you were taken aback at how friendly he was being with you, as if you hadnât made a very personal jab the other nightâ however unintentional it may have been. âare you alright..?â you asked, not doing much to mask the unease in your voice. he cocked his head in a confused manner, laughing almost nervously. âme? i mean iâm nervous i guess but iâd say iâm alrightâ iâve got a new group of allies now so thatâs good!â he nodded over to the three older men walking in front of you two. you recognized one of these men, 456, as the guy who was getting everyone through the first game. âoh, well thatâs good..â you felt yourself trail off, had he completely forgotten what happened between you two at the voting? dae-ho noticed the solemn expression now decorating your face. âare you alright?â
âi donât know..â you inadvertently avoided eye contact as you all began to make your way through a series of doors. âi feel awful about yesterday.. i really donât know why i said that.â you confessed. you could see dae-ho mentally putting the pieces together before his eyes widened, an audible gasp of realization leaving his lips. after a moment, he couldnât help but let out a chuckle. âoh, donât worry about that! i know you didnât mean anything by itââ he laughed, patting your back. âyou mean your not mad at me?â your eyes lit up in an almost cartoonish manner, earning a warm smile from your friend. âof course not! i get that this place is definitely putting everyone on edge, so people wonât really act like themselves.â you were so relieved at dae-hoâs sheer level of understanding. âso⌠weâre cool, then?â you ask. âyeah,â dae-ho affirms, looking down at you in the same way he did after Red Light Green Light, âweâre cool.â
things were all fine and dandy, that lump of shame had gone away from your throat, you were feeling better againâ you almost completely forgot that you were all about to be subject to more sick games. the crowd of people dispersed into a giant room with rainbow-sky walls and what seemed to be two large rainbow tracks on the floor. as the voice on the intercom explained the game, and detailed the fact that teams of five were required, you and dae-ho nodded to one another as if to mentally solidify being on each otherâs team. âwell this works out perfectly,â one of dae-hoâs newly established friends, player 390, happily concluded. ânow that dae-hoâs friend is joining us, weâve got a team already!â you were amused to be apart of their team, as they already seemed to have such a firm bond. âand here you were, worried we wouldnât be able to form a team fast enough.â player 001 remarked, looking to player 456 who still seemed a bit uneasy. you couldnât blame him of course, he was probably still working through some stuff mentally after his first encounter with these games.
âif we donât end up going first,â 456 began, catching the groupâs attention. âwe should watch the others closely as they play.â dae-ho nodded in agreement. âyeah! we could pick up on their strategies, to give us a better chance at winning.â you all chatted amongst yourselves, coming up with a game plan (no pun intended) for what was sure to be quite the nail biter of a game. you guys almost didnât hear the little voice that called to your attention.
âcan i please join your team?â
you all turned around and were met with a short woman with very unique hair, sporting the number 222 on her jacket. she seemed almost desperate, as if having been turned down by every other group. âsorry miss, but we already have five.â 390 explained sympathetically, but 222 was persistent. âplease.â she begged again, this time bringing a hand to her belly. âiâm pregnant.â if there was anything to change the game, it was that. you guys locked eyes for a moment, before you spoke up.
âyou can absolutely be apart of their team!â her eyes lit up from the defeated countenance she wore a second ago. the men looked at you stunned, dae-ho especially. âitâs alright, if thereâs already five i can ask someone else-â
âi wonât hear it.â you insisted, catching 222 off guard. you could tell she didnât want to take your place, but you would feel awful if someone in her condition was to lose their life in a place like this. âyou need a strong, reliable group. i can find someone else, itâs no trouble.â
âif youâre sure..â 222 said, âthank you.â you nodded, before walking off. you looked back for a brief moment, even if you died in these games, you could hold your head up knowing that you just did the right thing. however, the look of fear and concern that dae-ho was giving you didnât fail to break your heart. you knew he was worried but you also knew that that decision needed to be made.
you roamed the area somewhat aimlessly, starting to lose hope of claiming an empty spot in one of the teams. each player you made eye contact with gave you a disgusted look before turning their backs to you. you werenât going to lie, every time you glanced at the clock your palms got slightly more sweaty. god were you going to be eliminated before the game even began? youâre mind began to resume reeling until
âhey, did you want to join our team?â
you spun around faster than youâd care to admit, eyes widened in desperation. a cool, punk rock looking chick donning the number 380 was standing before you, head cocked in anticipation. without a question you nodded and accepted her invite, to which she simply said âsweet, follow me.â, and that you certainly did. you wondered who your new team was, surely they were a group of standup individualsâ well, as standup as one could be in an establishment like this one.
all of your hopes were entirely dashed when you saw just who was apart of your team.
thanos. man you just could not escape this guy, huh. he was surprised to see you too, though more on the pleasant side than you were. âwoah, we meet again seĂąorita.â you rolled your eyes at the nickname once again, seems like you were stuck with it now. âyou know this rando?â the player dubbed 124, standing suspiciously close to thanos piped up, gesturing towards you. âthatâs the one i was telling you about.â thanos explained, giving his friend a side glance. âah, the âplaying hard to getâ girl..â 380 cleared her throat, catching these two boys off guard. âyâknow itâs rude to talk about people as if they arenât standing right there.â you were relieved that you had someone else to stand up for you here. 124 snickered. âwell if it bothers her that much she can always leaveââ âno.â thanos interjected, extending an arm infront of his buddy. âshe stays.â he raised his eyebrows in a suggestive way as if you were supposed to thank him for his ânobleâ act.
just then, the timer came to an end, and all the teams were instructed to sit down in designated lines. even if you wanted to leave, it was too late. you were stuck with thanos and his weird friend. but at least 380 seemed to have your back. as the first team was getting set up you found yourself thinking about dae-ho. you hoped their team made it through, hell you actually hoped they survived more than you thought about your own survival. you had never prayed to anything, for anything in all your life. but in that moment, you prayed as hard as you could for one thing.
âdear god, not like this.â
ââââ*.¡:¡.â˝â§ ⌠â§âž.¡:¡.*ââââ
AT LAST, PART 2 IS COMPLETE!! idk if iâll do a part 3 or not, it all depends on if you guys like it! i really hope this was up to standard, and worth the wait. i pulled out the big guns for this one but part of me is worried it doesnât make a lick of sense đ
regardless of my lack of writerâs confidence, i truly hope you enjoyed!
have a magnificent day/night lovelies đ
tags: @gongyoosgf @strangelife122 @agornotsworld @kvstjwonnie @marymustdie @pink-apples001 @fiicalapsiholoaga @wonestro @luvlyfandoms @putrescentpoet @l5byrinth @chxrrybomb22 @deathsmellzz @bl4z3db4by @katscloudy
#squid game 2#squid game#squid game x reader#fanfiction#x reader fanfiction#player 230#thanos x reader#imagines#dae ho x reader#player 388#choi su bong#kang dae ho
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could you do dr phosphorus x reader relationship headcanons on a alien reader
Absolutely! Thanks for the ask :D
These are for a GN reader! Headcanons below the cut sorry for the long wait I have a lot of projects I'm working on at the moment!
At first he'd be a bit weary, You being from an entirely different planet and all. But he'd be quick to warm up to you once he realized you weren't a real threat to him. (Not that much is)
He'd crack stupid jokes with you most of which you don't understand. But his genuine attempts to make you laugh slowly start to work. And when you reference something from your homeworld he's equally puzzled. You both laugh anyways putting the cultural difference aside.
He often seeks you out since you more than tolerate his presence. He was so used to being alone or disregarded that he easily latches onto your genuine attention.
You often find yourselves telling stories from your past, some pleasant but most not. You sympathize with the doctor and all he has lost.
"Courting" with Doctor Phosphorus is a little strange to say the least. You're unused to Earth's unspoken societal rules and rituals. So when he is openly being flirtatious you're a little oblivious to it. You can't see his eyes and you don't understand the meaning of prolonged eye contact, so when you finally figure out his intentions of romancing you you're a little embarrassed at your obliviousness.
Actually dating the doctor is an interesting experience for the both of you. You've never been with an earthling and he's never even seen an alien before you. But you quickly catch on to what he likes.
You learn Phosphorus hasn't known a friendly touch in 15 years and without thinking too much you pull him into an embrace. He's a bit shocked when you pull back and you're completely unharmed. Casual touches quickly become one of your favorite things. Tracing the outline of his bones over his translucent skin.
You can see through him both literally and figuratively. He's not as good at hiding his emotions as he thinks. He seeks you out often just for the comfort of your presence. Whether it's sitting together in companionable silence or just holding hands, feeling the heat radiate from him.
You learn that it's not as hard to read Phosphorus as you originally thought. The way the flames on his head grow a little hotter and burn a little brighter when he's upset. How after a particularly draining mission he'll be more needy for your touch than normal.
He has no shame when it comes to your relationship. Often joking openly with the other commandos about it. Holding your hand in the back of the transport car. Trying his damnedest not to let you out of his sight. He's overly cautious and for good reason, he's terrified of losing you.
You can hold your own in a fight but whenever you find yourself injured he's gentle with you. Attentive and overly cautious making sure that your wounds are tended to. He tells you it's because he was an actual doctor once but you can tell it's just an excuse to worry over you.
As snarky and sarcastic as he is, he is also very genuine and caring. He tries to put your needs before his own whenever he can. Deflecting and claiming he doesn't need to be doted on. But you do anyway, you show him the same gentleness and affection that he so clearly craves and he melts into it.
You show him love he hasn't known in this body and he isn't sure how to handle it. He's torn between giving in and staying reserved. But he lets you in, lets himself be vulnerable and cared for.
That's all for now, maybe I'll do a part 2 and include NSFW headcanons :)
#doctor phosphorus#dr phosphorus#creature commandos#alex sartorius#headcanons#my writing#doctor phosphorus x reader#dr phosphorus x reader#x reader#x gn reader#gn reader#divider by cafekitsune#answered asks
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â Synopsis: Where you find out you were a bet. â Preview: "So it was all a bet Seungkwan? Who makes you feel like this, hm?" you taunted, "Who else are you going to find out there that can do the things I do to you?" "That's right," you continued, your voice low and fierce. "No one. No one can fuck you like I do. No one knows your body like I do. No one else can make you beg like this. And you know it!"Â â WC: 3.3k â WARNINGS: Smut, RAGE SEX, humping, penetrative sex, angst, hair pulling, riding, possessive words & etc.
For the past few months, you and Seungkwan had been living a secret life filled with youthful exuberance and passion. Despite your differences, there was an undeniable chemistry that kept pulling you back together. It all started innocently enough, with shared interests in theater and park outings, but it quickly escalated into something much more intense.
You and Seungkwan had a routine. Youâd meet up after work or on weekends, sneaking off to hidden corners of the city to spend time together. The theater was your favorite escape. There, you could lose yourselves in the drama unfolding on stage, only to create your own dramatic scenes afterward, both playful and passionate.
[...]
One chilly evening, you both found yourselves at the local theater, watching a comedy play. You sat next to each other, sharing a bag of popcorn and exchanging sarcastic comments about the actorsâ performances. Seungkwan leaned over, whispering a joke in your ear, and you couldnât help but burst into laughter, drawing a few irritated glances from other theatergoers.
âShh, youâre going to get us kicked out,â you whispered, trying to stifle your giggles.
âOh, please, like you can keep quiet,â Seungkwan shot back, a mischievous glint in his eye.
After the play, you both headed to the park. The night was cool, the stars shining brightly overhead. You walked side by side, occasionally bumping into each other on purpose. It was your little game, a way to provoke and tease.
âBet you canât catch me,â Seungkwan said suddenly, breaking into a sprint.
âOh, youâre on!â you shouted, chasing after him.
You ran through the park, laughing and shouting, until you finally tackled him to the ground. You both lay there, panting and laughing, the world around you forgotten.
[..]
Your relationship was like a roller coaster. One moment youâd be laughing and joking, and the next youâd be bickering like children. Your friends found it amusing, but they also knew it could escalate quickly.
âSeriously, you two are like an old married couple,â Mingyu said one evening, watching as you and Seungkwan argued over who had won the last game of mini-golf.
âAm not!â you both shouted in unison, glaring at each other before bursting into laughter.
Despite the arguments, there was a deep connection between you. When you were alone, the bickering turned into something else entirely. The passion between you was undeniable, each encounter more intense than the last. Youâd find yourselves in the most unexpected places, unable to keep your hands off each other.
[...]
One evening, after another heated argument, you found yourselves in Seungkwanâs apartment. The bickering had turned into something more playful, and before you knew it, you were kissing, the tension melting away.
"You're impossible, you know that?" you said breathlessly between kisses.
"And yet, here you are," he replied with a smirk, pulling you closer.
The night was a blur of passion. Your bodies moved together with a familiarity that came from months of secret meetings. Youâd always been able to push each other to the edge, and tonight was no different. The intensity of your lovemaking was a stark contrast to the playful bickering that usually defined your relationship.
[...]
But just like you said. It could escalate quickly.Â
You and Seungkwan had always been able to handle your arguments with a playful edge, but this time was different. You didnât even remember what sparked the fight, but the words that came out of his mouth stopped you cold.
âIt was all a bet.â
You froze, staring at him in disbelief. âWhat did you just say?â
Seungkwanâs eyes widened as he realized what heâd said. âNo, I didnât meanââ
âYou didnât mean what? That this,â you gestured between the two of you, âwas all a joke to you? A bet?â
âNo, itâs not like thatââ
âThen what is it, Seungkwan? Explain it to me!â Your voice rose, trembling with fury. âBecause right now, it sounds like youâve been using me this whole time.â
Seungkwanâs face paled. He reached out to you, but you stepped back, your anger intensifying. âDonât touch me,â you snapped. âI trusted you. I thought this meant something.â
âIt does mean something,â he insisted. âI swear, it started as a stupid dare from the guys, but thenââ
âThen what? You decided youâd string me along for fun?â Your voice was loud now, echoing through the room. âDo you have any idea how humiliating this is? To know that I was just a game to you?â
Seungkwan looked panicked, desperate to make you understand. âPlease, just listen. It started as a bet, but itâs not like that anymore. I care about you. Iââ
âStop,â you cut him off, tears of rage and betrayal filling your eyes. âI canât believe I let myself fall for this. For you.â
The venom in your words made him flinch. âPlease, donât say that. I care about you more than anything.â
âCaring about me? Do you even know what that means? Because right now, it feels like youâve just been laughing at me this entire time.â Your fists were clenched at your sides, your whole body shaking with anger.
Seungkwan took a step towards you, his own eyes glistening with tears. âI���m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.â
"Fuck you, Seungkwan," you spat, pushing him back until he was sitting on your bed. He looked up at you, shocked and uncertain, as you began unbuttoning and unzipping his pants with trembling hands.
"What are you doing?" he asked, but his voice was weak, almost pleading.
You ignored him, pulling your panties off and straddling his lap, feeling his length harden beneath you. You started to grind against him, your movements hard, and fast. "It was a bet, huh? It was all a fucking lie, right, Seungkwan?" you snarled, your teeth gritted with rage.
His hands instinctively went to your hips, but he didn't try to stop you. "No, it wasn't like thatâ" he began, but you cut him off, swirling your hips hard, causing him to gasp.
"Fuck you," you repeated, your voice shaking. "You think you can just apologize and make it all better? You think you can just say sorry and I'll forget everything?"
Seungkwan's grip on your hips tightened, his breath hitching as you continued to grind against him. "I never meant to hurt you," he whispered, his eyes locked on yours, filled with regret and sorrow.
"Too late," you hissed, moving faster, your anger boiling over. "You already did." You could feel the heat building between you, the wet friction driving you crazy, but you were determined.
Seungkwan's face contorted with a mix of pleasure and anguish. "Please," he begged, "don't do this."
"Why not?" you shot back, your voice breaking. "You did this to us. You made me feel like a fool."
He tried to speak, but you silenced him with another hard hump, making him groan. "Just shut up, Seungkwan. Just shut up and take it."
As you continued to move against him, you could see the conflict in his eyes. He was torn between the pleasure you were giving him and the guilt he felt for what he'd done. It was a twisted form of revenge, but in that moment, it was all you had.
As you sank down on him, stretching yourself to take all of him inside, Seungkwan gasped, the air leaving his lungs in a rush. You gripped his hair roughly, yanking his head back. He hissed, the pain mingling with pleasure, making his eyes flutter shut for a moment.
"Who makes you feel like this, hm?" you taunted, your voice dripping with venom and lust. "Who else are you going to find out there that can do the things I do to you?"
Seungkwan's eyes were wide, filled with a mix of pain and desire. He tried to speak, but you cut him off with a harsh roll of your hips, drawing a guttural moan from his lips, he could only whisper a "No one." his voice leaving weak from the position you held his hair, head back. "Only you. Only you, please."
"That's right," you continued, your voice low and fierce. "No one. No one can fuck you like I do. No one knows your body like I do. No one else can make you beg like this. And you know it!"Â
You rode him harder, your movements fueled by a blend of anger and desperation. "Do you regret it, Seungkwan? Do you regret fucking with me?"
His hands gripped your hips, his nails digging into your skin as he tried to ground himself in the storm of sensations you were unleashing on him. "No!" he gasped, his voice strained. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
But you weren't done. You pulled his hair harder, making him look up at you, his eyes glazed with lust and guilt. "Sorry isn't enough," you spat. "You're going to remember this. Every time you try to touch someone else, you're going to think of me. You're going to remember how I made you feel. How no one else could ever compare."
Seungkwan's breaths were ragged, his body trembling beneath you as you continued to ride him with a furious intensity. "Please," he begged, his voice cracking. "Please, I can'tâ"
"You can't what?" you snapped, your pace relentless. "You can't handle it? You can't handle what you started? You're going to take it, Seungkwan. You're going to take every bit of it."
His eyes fluttered closed, his mouth falling open in a silent cry as he teetered on the edge of release. "Fuck, I'm going toâ" he started, but you cut him off again, tightening your grip on his hair.
"You're not coming until I say so," you growled. "You don't get to have that. Not yet."
Seungkwan's body shuddered, his muscles straining as he fought to hold back. "Please," he whimpered, his voice barely more than a breath. "Please, let meâ"
His lips parted, a moan escaping as you ground against him, your nails digging into his scalp. "I-I need you," he stammered, his voice cracking with desperation.
You leaned in closer, your breath hot against his ear. "Need me?" you whispered, your tone mocking. "You think needing me is enough? After everything?"
Seungkwan shuddered beneath you, his grip on the sheets tightening. "I'm sorry," he pleaded, his voice a mixture of pain and pleasure. "Please... I need you so much."
"Pathetic," you spat, pulling his hair harder, making him groan. "You donât deserve me, Seungkwan. You don't deserve this." You punctuated your words with a sharp thrust, making him gasp.
His eyes were wild, filled with a mixture of regret and lust. "I know," he breathed, his voice barely audible. "But please... please donât stop."
You felt a twisted sense of satisfaction at his desperation, at the way he was unraveling under you. "Remember that," you said, your voice low and dangerous. "Remember who makes you feel this way. Who owns you."
Seungkwan's breath hitched, his eyes wide and pleading. "I will," he promised, his voice a broken whisper. "I promise."
You could feel him getting closer, his body tensing beneath you. "Say it," you commanded, your voice a growl. "Say who you belong to."
"You," he gasped, his hips bucking beneath you. "I belong to you."
Seungkwan was prepared for the best orgasm of his life. He was trembling, his entire body on the edge of ecstasy, every nerve ending alive with sensation. As you rode him with unmatched ferocity, his breath came in ragged gasps, his chest heaving with the effort to keep up.
Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, pleasure and overwhelming emotion. He cried out loud, unable to contain the sheer intensity of what he was feeling. His voice cracked as he moaned your name, each syllable filled with a desperate longing.
His eyes were fixed on you, drinking in the sight of you above him, your body moving with a rhythm that drove him to the brink of madness. He fought to keep his eyes open, wanting to capture every moment, every sensation, every flicker of emotion that passed between you.
His legs quivered beneath you, his muscles straining as he struggled to hold on. But even as his body trembled with the effort, he knew he was powerless to resist. You were taking him to heights of pleasure he had never dreamed possible, and he surrendered himself completely to the overwhelming ecstasy coursing through him.
Seungkwan couldn't hold on anymore. The sensation of you clenching around him, the sound of your voice echoing in his ears, it was all too much. With a final, desperate cry, he let himself go.
His body tensed, every muscle straining as he reached the peak of ecstasy. He cried out your name, his voice raw with emotion, as he spilled himself inside you, the release so intense it bordered on pain.
You steadied yourself on him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest beneath you. Your head rested against the side of his, hiding your face from view as you waited for your nerves to calm down.Â
But then it hits you, the reality of what just happened, the anger and hurt resurfacing. You get off him, his cock slipping out of you, leaving you both feeling empty and exposed. Without a word, you start to dress yourself, your movements quick and determined. Seungkwan watches in desperation, his eyes wide with panic as he realizes what you're doing.
Seungkwan, sensing the shift in your demeanor, gets desperate. "Wait, what are you doing?" he asks, his voice tinged with panic. He sits up, trying to reach out to you, but you pull away, focused on gathering your things.
You walk to the living room, ignoring his pleas. "Please, just listen to me," he begs, following you. "We need to talk about this."
You grab your bag and turn to face him, your eyes cold and determined. "There's nothing left to say, Seungkwan," you reply, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside you. "This...whatever we had...it's over."
[...]
On the week, you received multiple calls from Seungkwanâyou didnât answer any. Even his friendsâwho you suppose to be the ones who participated in the betâcalled you, messaged you.
And now you are doing your dinner, didn't even have time to take off your work clothes, when you hear your doorbell. You dry your hands on the dish cloth, to open the door. It was Soonyoung. You frown, Soonyoung had contacted you during the week, but showing up at your door?
You lean on the doorframe, and ask him, "What are you doing here, Soonyoung?"
Soonyoung shifts nervously, his hands shoved into his pockets. "I know I called and messaged, but you never responded. I needed to talk to you in person."
You raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "About what?"
He takes a deep breath, looking genuinely distressed. "About Seungkwan. And the whole bet thing. You need to know it wasn't what you think. He didn't mean it like that."
You scoff, feeling the anger bubbling up again. "Didn't mean it like that? How else am I supposed to take it, Soonyoung?"
Soonyoung steps closer, his expression earnest. "It started as a stupid joke, but for Seungkwan, it changed. He fell for you, really fell for you. None of us thought it would turn into something real, but it did for him. He's been a wreck since you left."
You feel a pang of somethingânot quite guilt, but a heavy sadness. "So he sends you to do his dirty work? Why isn't he here himself?"
"He wanted to come, but I thought you'd slam the door in his face," Soonyoung admits. "He's been miserable. Just...can you talk to him? Please? Hear him out?"
You sigh, the weight of the week pressing down on you. "I don't know, Soonyoung. I'm still so angry."
"I get that," he says softly. "But just give him a chance to explain. If after that you still want nothing to do with him, then fine. But at least you'll have heard the truth from him."
You hesitate, the conflicting emotions warring inside you. Finally, you nod. "Fine. I'll talk to him. But this better not be a waste of my time."
Soonyoung's face breaks into a relieved smile. "Thank you. I'll let him know." He heads toward the door, pausing before he leaves. "And for what it's worth, I'm really sorry about everything. We all are."
You nod again, closing the door behind him. As you lean against it, you take a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for the conversation ahead.
It didnât even take twenty minutes after Soonyoung left for another knock to echo through your apartment. You sighed, already knowing who it would be. With heavy steps, you walked to the door and opened it.
Seungkwan stood there, looking disheveled and anxious. Normally, he would give you a hug, but he seemed to sense that this wasnât the right time. Instead, he stood there awkwardly, respecting your space as you stepped aside to let him in.
You closed the door behind him, folding your arms defensively. âSoonyoung was just here,â you said, breaking the silence.
Seungkwan nodded, his eyes filled with guilt. âI know. He texted me. I came as soon as I could.â
You walked to the living room, sitting down on the couch, and gestured for him to do the same. He hesitated but then sat down, maintaining a respectful distance.
âI donât even know where to start,â Seungkwan said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. âIâm so sorry, for everything. It was never meant to be a bet, not in the way youâre thinking.â
You raised an eyebrow, still skeptical.Â
He shook his head vehemently. âIt started as a stupid dare, something the guys and I joked about. But from the very first moment I spent time with you, it stopped being about that. It became real, so quickly, and I didnât know how to handle it.â
You looked away, the anger and hurt still fresh. âAnd you didnât think to tell me? To be honest about it?â
Seungkwan sighed deeply. âI should have. I know that now. But I was scared of losing you. I was scared that if you knew how it started, youâd never believe how much you mean to me.â
The vulnerability in his voice made you pause. âSoonyoung said you love me,â you said quietly, not meeting his eyes.
âI do,â Seungkwan replied instantly. âI love you more than anything. I was an idiot for letting it get this far without being honest with you.â
You finally looked at him, searching his eyes for any sign of deceit. All you saw was regret and sincerity. âI donât know if I can trust you again,â you admitted.
Seungkwan nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. âI understand. And Iâll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. Just please, give me a chance to make it right.â
The room fell silent, the weight of his words hanging between you. Slowly, you began to nod. âFine. Iâll give you a chance. But this is going to take time, Seungkwan.â
Relief washed over his face as he nodded. âThank you. I promise, I wonât let you down.â
You leaned back on the couch, the exhaustion of the week catching up with you. Seungkwan stayed there, a respectful distance away, but his presence felt different nowâmore honest, more real.
As the minutes ticked by, you both sat there in silence, the first steps of healing beginning to take place. There was a long road ahead, but for the first time in days, you felt like things could be okay again.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen headcanons#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#svt smut#svt imagines#seventeen#seventeen fanfic#seventeen imagine#seungkwan masterlist#seungkwan#seungkwan x reader#seungkwan smut#seungkwan imagines#seungkwan x you#seungkwan x y/n#boo seungkwan#seungkwan fanfic#seungkwan fluff#seungkwan scenarios#seungkwan angst#seungkwan reaction#seungkwan x oc#seventeen requests#seventeen masterlist
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May I have some dating Toge Inumaki headcanons? Both sfw and NSFW... If you're comfortable.

TOGE INUMAKI âŤâË.đ§ â§đŹ
headcanons đ˘Ö´Ë hello and thank you for the requests! i am current rediting all of my posts, so if this looks a little different than when you first saw it, thats the reason why!
anyways, i hope all of you enjoy! and if course, NSFW will be tagged and is written for a female perspective.
safe for work headcanons
- would probably not notice each other the first time you meet, maybe an interested glance but it doesn't really hit until the second or third time that he really sees you
- probably asks for your number just so yall can talk better, and once you do, its an instant connection. he literally wouldnt be able to stop, staying up all night to text you
- texts you out of the blue, and although probably feels embarrassed to double text, he is just that interested in you
- would totally deliever a bag of goodies he bought at the store for you, and additionally maybe offer to make you a lunch to try before he makes it for everyone else
- you comment on one of his t-shirts he wears and he puts it in one of the goodie bags he buys you, doused in his cologne because he wants you to think of him
- would totally send annoying memes and tiktoks and bully you over text, also play 8-ball COMPETITIVELY cause he aint gonna lose to you (he doesnt even pity lose to you)
- shows up unannounced just to kiss you in the door frame of your dorm room as a goodnight and then leaves you there
- that is until you invite him over to your dorm at night and he brings post-it notes and teaches you his semi-bilingual language for easier understanding, and utterly loves you for it
- the talking stage would be him just pining over you cosntantly, writing it all down in journals or in his notes app
- after yall started dating, it is very much a no public affection mostly because he doesnt want anybody to be in your business. especially with his noisy ass friends
- but no matter what, he is going to hold your hand, especially when going on dates and walking around campus at night (would definitely talk u into sneaking out)
- he would be hesistant to kiss you even after yall became offical, probably go a few weeks before you just say it straight that you want him to kiss you and you dont even get it all out before hea pinning you to a door and giving you the best kiss of your life
- would absolutely use his speech on you so you cannot resist it when he tickles you or when you are beating him in a game
- he is not the sappiest guy, but if you start to get sappy over a movie or a sad book, he will rub your back and give you head-kisses to help you feel better
below is not safe for work content. mdni.
not safe for work headcanons
- you find out very quickly into the relationship that he cannot resist a challenge of any kind. therefore, using that to your advantage always works out
- challenging him through text to sneak out of his dorm will work, but ofc he wants a prize at the end (you are on your knees for the next hour)
- the benefit of his speech is that you don't feel any fatigue whatsoever during its use, so that makes it really easy to make your body endure while you deep-throat him over and over.
- it doesn't diminish the pleasure though; being told to stay still while he fondles your chest takes away nothing from the experience, and he knows how much you like having no choice.
- not that even if it was tiring, you wouldn't let him throat-fuck you, the noises he makes are heavenly for someone who can't speak straight, the struggle of watching him grip the bedframe and biting his lips so he doesn't utterly ruin you is SO worth a bruised throat.
- he might be nervous to use his speech on you the first time, but after you make sure that you can handle it, its becomes so much more confident in using it
- he loves making out with you, he loves making your lips red with all the biting, he wants to see them glossy and wet right before he puts his fingers in your mouth (you know where they are going next)
- sexting is so fun, yall thought it might be cringy, but its literally the best when he calls you with a command and he gets to listen to you whimper and moan as he jerks off to it, can be totally unexpected
- "Ride me."
- hand on your thigh when nobody can see, and his pinky is awfully close to your panties that it makes you nervous.
- ofc he can easily make you cum, but will he always let you? not without a cute little 'please' hes not. begging is fun, isnt it?
- lets be honest, the dick game is so good he don't even have to tell you to go to sleep after
- ofc he would definitely lay it down on you exactly how he described through text, and then clean you with special wipes he bought from the store because he aint a dickhead, duh.
I have so many more, especially for different situations, so lmk if you want more! Thank u for all the support as of recently!
bye pookies!
#sorry i love him ur honor#jujutsu kaisen#inumaki toge headcanons#toge inumaki x reader#inumaki smau#inumaki smut#inumaki headcanons#jujustsu kaisen x reader#inumaki toge#jujutsu sorcerer#jjk#jjk inumaki#jjk megumi#jujutsu itadori#jujutsu megumi#fushiguro megumi
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ashes â day 1

his eyes were stuck on you from the second you entered the club.
it wasn't a completely uncommon thing for you to have men staring at you in public places, especially not when you were out with your hot girlfriends, all wearing tiny dresses with hair fixed to perfection. nonetheless, you were more used to the men only ever entertaining the most gorgeous members of your friend group, and men losing interest after an hour of you not giving a shit about their longing gazes.
this specific one, however, didn't seem to understand the meaning behind your actions. nearing three hours after you first stepped into the room, you still caught him eyeing you up whenever you accidentally looked his way. could he not take a hint?
it wasn't like he wasn't hot enough for you â quite the opposite, to be honest. with his defined jaw speckled with just a faint hint of stubble, a smile that made something tighten in your stomach without him even trying, and those baby blue eyes (so bright they could blind you across the room), he could probably bag any girl in the world. he probably has, too, judging by the way he and his friend seem to think that they own not just the club but the rest of the world as well.
you're familiar with the type; likely some type of spoiled sports guys, celebrating a good game or season or whatever. caps on their heads, beer glasses in their hands, top buttons of their shirts undone. you truly couldn't care less.
the guy left your brain for a few moments when it was suddenly your turn to get your group a new round of drinks. you waited by the bar for a minute or two, and when the bartender was done mixing your round, he calculated the price for you before running off to get the card machine.
you really shouldn't have been surprised by the figure appearing by your side. you definitely should have figured out that he would see this as his chance.
"let me pay for the round." you hadn't heard his voice before, but you didn't need to â or want to, for that matter â look at him to know who it was. a mere shake of your head should've been enough, you thought. apparently not. "you're a group of like, what, six people? can't be too expensive, i'll handle it."
"i can handle it, too," you countered.
"i'm sure you can," he started with a chuckle. "but you shouldn't have to."
taking a deep breath, you finally turned to him, feeling the frustration building up in the pit of your stomach when your eyes met his because who allowed him to be this breathtaking up close? "i'm not looking for some sugar daddy, so you can leave."
his jaw dropped slightly at this, eyes widening and cheeks growing pink â or were they always that color? was it due to the alcohol or just the proximity to you? â but then he shook his head slightly to recover. "that's not what i meant," he said, and you almost believed the genuine glimmer in his gaze. "i just wanted to do something good, i don't know. i'm sorry if that came out wrong."
you couldn't help but nod at this, the corners of your lips curling up at the sight of his hand scratching the back of his neck. "don't worry about it," you assured him, wanting- needing to look away, but not finding yourself able to. he looked young, probably around your age instead of the typical nasty old men who liked to pick up pretty girls and brag about their wallets. his eyes were kind, gentle, the different shades of blue swirling around like a rough sea; easy to get lost in. the brown curls that poked out at the back of his cap were unruly yet soft, and in a weak moment, you found yourself wondering how it would feel to pull your fingers through them.
the bartender interrupted your moment â you weren't sure if only seconds had passed or if it had been minutes, hours â and a breath of relief escaped from you at the beep from the card machine after you tapped your phone against it. at the same time, you really didn't want to go back to your friends. you could spend your whole lifetime just staring at the man in front of you without being bored for even a second. you hadn't yet realized the spell you were under, or just how willing you'd be to agree to anything for him.
after making sure that the drinks were safely transported to your table, the man managed to lure you with him to his own table instead. most of his friends were gone by now, searching for single girls on the dance floor, and the three that were still sat there were too invested in a heated discussion about football to care even the slightest about you two.
he introduced himself as jack, 23 years old but turning 24 in the spring, the middle of three brothers. when you questioned him about sports, wanting to confirm your premature suspicions, he laughed and confirmed that he indeed "works with hockey", but never went any further than that. instead, he asked for your name, told you that it was beautiful and asked where you got it from. he asked to hear about your studies, seemingly authentically curious about your boring homework and annoying lecturers. he asked about your family, your childhood, your dreams.
no matter what story you told, he listened with great intent, that boyish grin permanent on his lips and a laugh never far away. jack looked at you like he was already in love with you; a look you're sure he has practiced for ages.
but at this point, you honestly didn't care.
after this, everything went by in a blur. one second, you were still just sitting on that couch in the club, chatting about anything and everything. the next, you were making out in the back of an uber, his calloused palms searching every inch of skin they could reach under your shirt. the next, your back met the covers of the bed in his apartment, dazed eyes watching as this masterpiece of a man climbed on top of you and leaned down to seal his lips against yours yet again.
his fingers left imaginary traces along your skin, his lips then following the path they'd drawn. you'd been in this position before, sure, but this sensation was new â something about him made it so different from anything you'd felt before. his touch drew out shallow breaths and sweet noises from you as he discovered your body, helping him understand how to please you the way you wanted.
the time spent with jack went on for hours, yet it was over in mere seconds. when he held you against his chest, you wanted nothing more than to stay there forever, to rest your head against him until the world collapsed under your feet, to feel his skin against yours until the end of time.
but you knew that couldn't happen.
so as soon as his low snores filled the air, when his breath became steady and you were sure he was asleep, you swiftly fled from his grasp.
getting dressed in a tight dress and your previously discarded underwear after a night like this was always awkward, and leaving a gorgeous man alone in his big bed always sucked. but you had no other option.
after closing his front door behind you quietly, you let out a deep sigh, as if to let go of what had just happened. you couldn't afford to let it stay on your mind, you couldn't obsess over it. there was no point. if you were lucky, you would never have to see him again.
unfortunately, luck has never really been on your side.
#wrote this all in one go.... woah#havent written anything proper in weeks (months?) and then suddenly#jack hughes#nhl#hockey#nhl fluff#nhl smut#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#nhl fic#nhl imagine#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes fluff#jack hughes smut#jack hughes fic#jack hughes imagine#new jersey devils
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Aommgg
Could I request the nrc staff + grim finding out youâre a girl (plantonic)?
Or do they all know straight from the start?
TW: None
Info: Crowley, Grim, Sam, Cruel, Trien x Reader (Platonic)
đHello lovely! I didn't want to make a whole long post about this, but I do want to talk about it. I'm so glad you asked! So the staff is... made aware of the situation, obviously. But, I think I'll go a little into depth on how each member deals with this information.
Crowley knows because... well... he sees you out of the ceremonial robes before anyone else does. He handles it as well as he does every other issue he comes across. "Just cover it up!" Famously said by Crowley. He's not unkind though, he does ensure that you get the help you need and he makes sure you keep what you need hidden, well, hidden. But... he won't do more than the bare minimum unless his hand is forced. Like... with Scarabia, he pretty much threatened the whole dorm with expulsion if they so much as uttered a word to anyone but amongst themselves. He is, unsurprisingly, not a father figure to you. He's more like... you're weird quirky uncle that you like, but only in small doses.
Grim, our little guy, finds out at the same time as Crowley... and he's a little harder to convince to keep his mouth shut to start. He doesn't like you, okay, you stole his position at NRC (like he had a chance at all). With a few well-placed cans of tuna from both you and Crowley, he keeps his little rat mouth shut. However, when you're actually granted studentship as NRC? His tune changes. It changes because Crowley holds his position as a student over his head, but it changes. Not a SINGLE person will ever hear you're a woman from Grim. He can't lose this position, not after so much work to get where he's gotten to. Besides, he grows to really love you! You're family to him, and no one out family. Seriously, he's so protective of it, once Ace and Deuce figure it out they're too scared to talk because of Grim's looming presence.
Sam is the first member of Staff to find out, other than Crowley. How? Crowley's sudden interest in pads, tampons, birth control, and all the fun stuff that comes with being a woman. Sam usually would just shrug his shoulders and excuse Crowley's quirky behavior, but then you come in looking like a lost deer and he gets it. He is genuinely so nice to you though! If you ever feel unsafe on campus, you talk to Sam and he'll handle it for you, okay? Sure, he jacks up the prices on your feminine products, but it's considerably less than his normal prices. Hell, if you're short, he'll "suddenly" remember he's got a discount on those items. He's like a cool older brother, honestly. He lets you hang out in the back of the shop and do homework when you ask, and he gives you snacks at a discount when you're there!
Crewel doesn't really treat you any differently than anyone else. Admittedly though, he's fond of you, even if you're a troublemaker. When you come into his class on your first day in a uniform six times too big for you, he feels pity for you. You didn't ask to be here, and now you have to wear that atrocious old uniform? You poor little pup. He's not exactly easy on you, but he's more understanding of your mistakes. Eventually, after you get to know him better, he offers to get you a nicer uniform and also privately tutor you. This is his excuse for keeping you busy so that you don't have as many chances to get found out, and it's also because you are horrifically failing his class and it looks bad on him.
Trien treats you the most differently out of everyone on staff. The SECOND he found out you were a girl and were being forced to hide that fact for Crowley's sake? Oh my god, grandpa was PISSED. Crowley got an EARFUL after that meeting. This man makes it his mission to make your stay as comfortable as he possibly can make it because sevens know Crowley won't be doing SHIT. After he meets you? Oh my god, you remind him of his own girls when they were little. He absolutely adores you, and everyone can tell. It's so odd to the other students because he clearly favors you, and when they ask you about it you've got no clue. He is your dad here at NRC, as out of character as that might be. You are a young woman lost in a world that is not kind to you going through so much more than you need to. He doesn't want to add more to your plate. You can come to him for anything and he will provide as best as he can.
Vargas (I'm sorry for forgetting about him lol) is a lot like Crewel in the fact that he doesn't treat you too differently from his other students. You're still made to push yourself to your upper limits for gym, still expected to keep up with your peers, and still expected to meet his general expectations. However, if it's way too much for you to do, out of fear of Crowley and Trien breathing down his neck, he'll lessen your load. Otherwise, he doesn't really have much chance to be around you outside of class. He finds you amusing and knows you've got a good head on your shoulders, but that's about it from him.
#bunni babbles đ#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#bunni's treats đ§#x reader#crowley x reader#sam x reader#trein x reader#mozus trein#twst crewel#crewel x reader#twst crowley#twst sam#twst grim#vargas x reader#twst vargas
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I remember that you said that caffeine works differently on different monsters. What are those effects?
Warnings; different HAE AU species on caffeine
~~~~~~~~
For Idia and Ortho, caffeine reacts the same way it would for Humans; a good energy boost. Idia is already addicted to his caffeine sources. Ortho doesn't use caffeine that much.
For Rook, you've basically given him cocaine. He is jittery, sleepless, and spinning wild looking webs while obsessing over the shapes and colors of things. He reacts like a normal spider would with caffeine and becomes more than a little unhinged.
For Ace and Deuce, they become more energetic, hyper, and jumpy. They will jump up onto things moreso than they already do because the caffeine makes them want to be up high. They will also fight a lot more due to the energy boost.
For Malleus the caffeine soothes him and mellows him out. Much like giving caffeine to someone with ADHD, it helps him relax and focus more than it energizes him. He is a bit more punctual and time aware than usual when on caffeine.
Bat saliva alters the taste of coffee beans for others who consume it after a bat has gone after the coffee berries. For Lilia, it makes him much more snuggly and mellowed, similar to Malleus but a bit more energetic as well. He will not be sleeping for a few days, but he will be more cuddly instead of bouncing off the walls.
For Vil, Neige, Crowley, and Ambrose, caffeine is NOT good for them and can put them into a state of panic. It isn't as bad as giving a normal bird caffeine because they do consume caffeinated tea beverages (which usually kills the normal bird, so please don't give them coffee/teas), but it does make them freak out due to the increased heart-rate and panic in large doses. They can handle it, but react very negatively to large doses.
Similar to the Harpy and Siren fellas, caffeine in Trey and Riddle causes increased heart rate and even small body tremors when consumed in large amounts. Trey is more resistant to the caffeine due to also being an aquatic creature and using coffee beans in his baking, but it isn't great for him either. They will be shaking like Chihuahuas with large levels of caffeine and much faster to anger.
For Sebek it is akin to a swift kick in the butt and he likes the zoomies he gets as a result. He feels he can better serve Malleus by being caffeinated. Faster responses, focused attention, and the limitless feeling of energy. When he crashes, he crashes HARD and will pass out shortly after.
Silver gets serious zoomies on caffeine. Dilated pupils, jumping, leaping, running, rolling, bucking, laying on his back and squirming around while kicking his legs, it is an amusing affair and Lilia will lose his absolute shit watching Silver play around. Caffeine is kinda like cat-nip for Cervitaurs. Once it wears off, he will be dragging his hooves and pass out shortly after calming down. He will sleep deeply and be difficult to wake following a large dose of caffeinated zoomies.
Leona doesn't have much of any response to it. It's just another bitter drink to him and he doesn't get the hype surrounding it. He won't turn it down, but he isn't too enthused either.
Ruggie is bouncing off the walls and cackling for days without rest before he collapses and sleeps for 24 hours. Don't give Ruggie caffeine. You will have an energetic and exciteable Gnoll on your hands if you do. The zoomies are strong and the Gnoll is absolutely losing his mind. He thinks he is ascending, he is not. He is just dehydrated.
Epel can handle enough caffeine to kill a Human several times over and then some. He likes the caffeine since it helps keep pest insects away. He doesn't get a boost from it, but he still enjoys the pest repellent effect of it.
Cater doesn't have any effects from caffeine and has little interest in it. It does make the translucency of his skin a bit more opaque due to the dark color of most caffeinated liquids. He does get very thirsty following a large dose of caffeine, so he will spend the rest of the next few days drinking far too much water.
Kalim eats roasted coffee beans on the regular and likes the taste. It somewhat helps him focus, but has more of a mellowing effect to him like Lilia and Malleus. He can sleep just fine after several pounds of coffee beans. The Al-Asim family is notorious for their love off coffee beans and dark teas because they like the caffeine.
Much like spices, Jamil has very little reaction to caffeine unless in large amounts. He gets more paranoid when caffeinated but there isn't much response beyond that.
Jack can handle small amounts of caffeine but in a large amount it will likely give him a heart attack. He isn't overly interested in caffeine but can still consume small amounts with little response. The more he has, the faster his heart goes and can lead to seizures or death.
Jade and Floyd have mixed feelings about it. Jade loves the caffeinated teas he brews and will go out of his way to try other caffeinated beverages/foods. Floyd can focus 100% better with caffeine but feels like it is cheating to use caffeine because he wants to struggle and work at things, not just be given them when the fancy strikes. He is usually caffeinated for tests- Jade makes him consume it- but otherwise he has no interest.
Azul is a caffeine FIEND. Jade has to limit Azul's caffeine consumption because caffeine makes Azul both more active and more temperamental. Where he can write better contracts and write them faster- as well as increased ability to multitask- the caffeine will occasionally make him spasm and make his tentacles writhe wildly before relaxing again. He does get more agitated the more caffeine he has, so Jade is very used to Azul throwing a fit because the eel cut Azul off for the day. Jade is also quite used to ducking when Azul has too much caffeine and starts literally throwing things when the slightest inconveniences trigger him. He will sulk in his octopus pot when he is cut off for the day from caffeine. He also gets the munchies like nobody's business and will scarf food down when he is in one of his caffeine induced temper tantrums.
#kiame-sama#yandere#tw yandere#humans are extinct twst au#hae azul#hae jack#hae ruggie#hae malleus#hae jade#hae floyd#hae kalim
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