#different approaches to their discographies

[bumblebaubles]

baemon being boring nmixx is not the realization i thought I'd make today but here we are

[bbyobbyo]

Ever since you stopped using his Spotify account in the mornings, you find other ways to mess with your boyfriend.

A short continuation of this fic, but can be read as a standalone.

content: fluff, established relationship, idol!Jihoon, banter, reader and jihoon just have a permanent jam session going on, they’re in love i swear

wc: 857

note: ahhh they’re back!! thank you to everyone who read the first part and gave it love😊 this has been rotting my brain for a while and i originally was playing with this concept for the original but couldn’t pull it together but we’re here now! shoutout to @highvern because it was partly inspired by her fic “Between the Titles” which is such a great read that i highly recommend along with literally everything else she writes!! all the songs featured here are real and from an era of kpop I hold near and dear to my heart so if you recognize any of them, you’re a real one 🥰

Jihoon is not a morning person, never has been. As he sits in the dressing room of the filming studio, he can feel his eyelids getting increasingly heavy. Some of his members are actively sleeping, in fact, and Jihoon knows he’ll be joining them soon if Wonwoo takes any longer in that makeup chair.

Blasting in his ears is his usual Bruno Mars playlist, a sad attempt to try to recover his energy before he knocks out next to Mingyu sleeping on a mat on the floor, but to no avail because his mind slowly slips away until a piercing airhorn noise jolts him awake.

SEVENTEEN TEEN TEEN NEOWANA SAI E

Uhh. This was definitely not his Daily Bruno Mars Mix.

He immediately searches his screen to find out what happened when he finds his answer in the form of a text from you.

[8:18 am] good morning sleepyhead :)

[8:18 am] hope I didnt scare you too bad :)

He scrunches his face up in disbelief, half amused that you managed to catch him off guard with possibly the most annoying wake up song on Seventeen’s discography, and half annoyed at the realization that he must’ve forgotten to cancel your Spotify Jam session from yesterday.

He decides to leave your text on read. After all, he has plenty of time to be petty today. Furiously searching through his library, he queues up a song and before Mingyu can finish singing the first chorus, he smashes the next track button in smug anticipation.

Now Playing: Fxxk U • Gain, Bumkey

And he doesn’t have to wait long before he gets your reply.

[8:20 am] oh i see how it is

Now Playing: This is War • MBLAQ

If Jihoon wasn’t awake before, he definitely is now. Even as he gets called in to do his makeup next, he thinks carefully about his next move.

Now Playing: LOSER • BIGBANG

…

Now Playing: WHO, YOU? • G-DRAGON

An audible scoffs escapes from his lips as he involuntarily tilts his head back in amusement, much to the dismay of his makeup artist who had just started on his foundation. He mutters a shy sorry before resuming his search for a reply. Maybe he needs to take a different approach to this if he hopes to continue having Jam sessions with you in the future.

Now Playing: Whatcha Doin’ Today • 4Minute

As Jihoon eventually discovers, his hopes to change the topic of conversation were in vain as two songs were suddenly queued one after another.

Now Playing: Why Don’t You Know • CHUNG HA, Nucksal

Next in Queue: Mind Your Own Business • Ailee

Jihoon thinks he’s met his match, coming to the realization that he could never out sass the love of his life. But he wasn’t willing to back down so easily either.

Now Playing: I’m so sick • Apink

Next in Queue: Because of you • After School

Your next move nearly sends him to tears.

Now Playing: Excuse Me • AOA

Next in Queue: You Don’t Love Me • Spica

Next in Queue: I ain’t going home tonight • Navi, Geeks

Next in Queue: I Don’t Need a Man • miss A

As he chuckles to himself for what seems like the hundredth time this morning, this newfound form of entertainment suddenly becomes incredibly precious. Although you see each other nearly every day, Jihoon realizes just how much he misses you, talking to you about everything and nothing at all, bantering like you’ve known each other for your entire lives.

Now Playing: Am I too easy? • U-KISS

...

Now Playing: Mystery • Beast

Even though he couldn’t be with you physically, he knew you were enjoying yourself just as much as him on the other side. He could almost picture your smile of satisfaction as you found your next song, knowing that he would appreciate your humor. And appreciate he did, happily tapping away at his screen until his makeup artist puts on his finishing touches and tells him to call the next member.

Now Playing: Gotta Go • CHUNG HA

Next in Queue: I’m Busy • 2NE1

Next in Queue: Plz Don’t Be Sad • HIGHLIGHT

…

Now Playing: Okay Dokey • MINO, ZICO

Little does he know that his members are in the corner snickering at the sight, knowing that only one thing could have their producer smiling like an idiot at his phone the whole morning.

Soon enough, Jihoon and his members get swept up into their schedule involving the filming of various contents for their Youtube Channel, a task that usually takes the entire day if a game is involved. Thankfully, the game allowed for members to go home early, a rare treat considering how competitive his members can get when it comes to shooting content.

After his usual rounds of “good work everyone” to the company staff and his members, he gets ready to see the person who been on his mind (and in his ears) since the morning. Taking out his phone, he queues one last song while exiting the building.

Now Playing: Run to you • SEVENTEEN

[gotham--fc]

January Hymn - An Emily Sonnett Imagine

So this takes place during 2020 when Sonnett was on loan to Gothenburg and that was a very long time ago so if the timeline is not correct that's the way the cookie crumbles 🤷‍♀️(also my first time writing in second person if y'all like it I might do more second person stuff)

Also based off the song January Hymn by The Decemberists which I cannot recommend enough their entire discography is *chefs kiss*

About 2k words, pretty angsty, not a happy ending

You had long since accepted that this was as far as your career will take you.

You grew up in Sweden, up north, and moved to Gothenburg when you turned 18. You played soccer all your life and it was obvious to everyone who saw you that you were yards ahead of every other kid you played with. Your parents would drive you hours away from your hometown so you could play on a competitive team in a bigger city, where your talent was matched and developed. You ended up on an academy team and set your sights on going pro.

You are a professional player now. In your teenage years, you imagined yourself in World Cup finals, Champions League finals, you imagined your mantle filled with trophies and medals. You imagine you would leave Sweden. You liked to imagine yourself in Germany, or France, or England, maybe even America, and playing for top clubs around the world. However, none of those dreams really panned out for you.

You moved to Gothenburg and signed your first professional contract. You didn’t notice it at the time, but you were nearing your peak in your play, your development slowing. You love playing here, always have, but you didn’t imagine spending your whole career here. Over the years, you have watched players leave. Young players rise quickly through the ranks and get swooped up by flashy contracts at even flashier clubs. You look back at yourself at 18, 19, 20, and you know you were never as good as they are, never really had a chance at going somewhere else.

You’re not upset. You’re at peace with it all now. Sure, when you first realized that your dreams wouldn’t pan out, you were heartbroken, disappointed, frustrated, but you moved on. You’re happy with your life. You still get to play the sport you love for a living. You recognize now that you would’ve crashed and burned had you gone anywhere else. You love Sweden too much to leave, and the homesickness would’ve been too much. All in all, you’re happy where you are and you don’t regret a thing.

Well, that’s not entirely true.

Players move around all the time. It’s the nature of sports, players choosing to leave for a variety of reasons, teams deciding not to resign players for whatever reason, the team is always changing. You have been a staple in Gothenburg for years, but you’re one of a few. You’re used to having your friends move away and you’re used to only seeing them over Facetime after fighting through time differences. It’s part of your life.

You don’t think much of it when your coach announces a new player will be joining the team on loan from America. It’s not the first American, and it’s not the first loan, and really you’re just happy to see a new face. With Covid restrictions you really only see your teammates and the coaching staff, and you’re looking forward to not having the same conversations over and over. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to have an extra player to contribute when you’re pushing for a title.

Emily Sonnett, when you meet her looks like she’s had more of a year than you have. There’s a deep tiredness in her, one that she tries to hide behind her smile. You hear whispers in the locker room, about trades and the team in America she wasn’t playing for. You don’t care. You don’t care what she’s running from in America, you don’t care what her reasons for coming here are. It’s not really your business to care, anyway.

"Hi, Emily, right?" You approach her in the locker room. Her head is trained down at her cleats even though she’s tied them tight already. Her head snaps up when you speak.

“Most people just call me Sonnett. Or Sonny. Whatever you want.”

“Okay Sonnett,” You say, “You enjoying the city so far?”

“Uh, I haven’t really had a chance,” Emily, Sonnett, says, “I don’t really speak Swedish so, I just try not to get lost.”

Most of the team knows some English, some more fluent than others, but they do tend to speak Swedish to each other. You learned English when you were younger, in the hope that you might need it when you moved away. You’re grateful for it now, because Sonnett looks like she needs someone she can speak to.

“I’ve lived here for a long time, let me show you around. Gothenburg is a beautiful city, I would hate for you to not see the city the way I do.”

“Okay,” Sonnett says, “I’d like that.”

You take Sonnett around the city, showing her all your favourite spots, and you love sharing your city and your country with your teammates, but something feels different with Sonnett. She’s hilarious, and you laugh the whole day, and every time you laugh her eyes light up. You asked her, earlier in the day, why she came to Gothenburg, and she gave you a vague answer about COVID and not being able to play in the States over the summer and just wanting to get some games under her belt before the Olympics next year. You understand, in a way, because you’ve never not had soccer, never not been able to play, and you can’t imagine having it taken away without your control.

You have been fairly lucky with injuries, never having anything serious enough to take you out for a long time. You have watched your teammates and friends sidelined for months with injuries, and you feel extremely grateful that you’ve never had to deal with that. You know that Sonnett isn’t unable to play in the States because of injuries, but because of the pandemic that has effected you as well. No one really knows what the pandemic will bring, how the world will be impacted by it, and you’re just happy you get play, that the team has found a way to play safely.

“I know Sweden is not as warm as Florida,” You say when you noticed Sonnett shiver.

“Oh, I wasn’t in Florida, I was in Georgia with my family,” Sonnett says, “I don’t have a place in Florida and I’m not about to couch surf off my friends, so I just stayed with my family.”

“I did not realize your American teams don’t provide housing.”

“They did, they do,” Sonnett says, “There’s no point in getting me a place. They’re not playing in Florida this year, and they won’t keep me next year. I told them I don’t want to stay next year.”

You’re not really sure what to say. The conversations today have been lighthearted, and you’re not sure how to handle the change. You’ve had teammates request transfers before, but the system here is so different than in the States. Here, if you don’t want to stay with a team, you just don’t sign another contract, but it’s different over there.

“I was traded,” Sonnett says when you stay quiet, “From Portland. I’d been there for so long and I really thought they’d keep me, but then they traded me. And I don’t want to play for Orlando. I… I want to go back to Portland, I want my old life back. All my friends were there and I was really happy. It felt shitty that they could just get rid of me like that.”

“I’m sorry,” You say, because what else is there to say?

“I’m not playing in Florida, for the Pride, and I made that clear. I don’t even want to go back to Portland, because it’s obvious I don’t mean anything to them, and all my friends are gone too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“D’you know any good pet shops?” Sonnett says suddenly, “I wanna get my dog Bagel so many Swedish dog toys before I go back.”

Your head reels from the abrupt change in conversation. You get the sense that Sonnett is not someone who likes to have serious conversations, so you don’t push. You don’t have any pets, so you don’t know where the nearest pet shop is, but you use google maps and you laugh as Sonnett makes jokes about each toy and the way she butchers the pronunciations of names.

It feels like the start of something, something you can’t put a name on. You didn’t know it then, but the start sometimes can also be the end.

***

You knew Sonnett’s loan would end. That’s how loans work, there’s also an end date to them. While you knew that, and knew your time was limited, her departure crept up on you. First, you were ecstatic, thrilled, that you won the league. It’s what the team has been working towards, and you get to see all your hard work paid off. Through the celebrations and the champagne, you find Sonnett alone.

“I thought you were the life of the party,” You say, “Or are your stories lies?”

“No, I am usually pretty rowdy,” Sonnett says, “They don’t call me Saucy for nothing.” You chuckle. “I was just thinking how much I’ll miss this.”

You head cocks to the side. Miss this? It’s hits you, the season is over, and Sonnett’s loan is over, and she’ll be going back to the States.

“I’m happy to go home, see my family and friends again, but I’ve really enjoyed it here.”

“Yeah,” You say quietly, feeling choked up suddenly.

The two of you look at each other and you can see the emotion in Sonnett’s eyes, no doubt mirrored in yours. There’s something you want to say, caught on the tip of your tongue, and you’re not even sure yourself what it is, but before you can, someone bumps into you and then you and Sonnett are dragged back into the celebrations.

Sonnett leaves a week later.

You offer to drive her to the airport. It’s an excuse to see her one last time before she leaves and she doesn’t fight you on it. You pick her up from her apartment and she slides into the passengers seat of your car. She looks tired, and you think a little sad, but she hides her emotions so well that you can’t tell if you’re just projecting.

The drive is quiet, the two of you attempting to make conversation, but there’s nothing to say. She’s leaving, and you’re staying, and neither of those facts will change. Her life is in the States, and yours is here, and maybe in another life you would’ve been more talented and more skilled and maybe you would’ve found yourself in the States, on the same team as Sonnett.

You park in the drop off zone and you get out of the car while Sonnett grabs her bags from the back. You take a moment to just look at her, and then you pull her into a hug.

“I’m glad you came here,” You say, “Even if it was short. I… I wish…” There’s so much you want to say. You pull back to look Sonnett in the eyes. As soon as you lock eyes, all the words leave you. What can you say?

She stands there, looking at you, and she’s waiting, she’s waiting for you to say it, and you’re waiting for her to say it, because how can you say anything right before she leaves you? How can she say anything right before she leaves you?

“Goodbye Emily Sonnett,” You say, “Don’t forget about me when you win a gold medal, okay?”

“Never,” She says, “Don’t forget me when you win the Champions League.”

And with that, she’s gone.

You drive back alone.

As you drive, even though you’ve lived in Sweden your whole life, it feels colder than it has ever been.

You go about your life as normal, except with an aching hole in your chest. You go over the drive and the goodbye over and over, wondering. What would you have said? What could you have said that might’ve made her stay? If you said something, if she said something, would it have changed anything?

No, you think, it wouldn’t have, because your lives are thousands of miles apart and nothing will ever change that.

You watch her at the Olympics that summer and you watch her lose in the semis and you watch Sonnett on the field, with her teammates, after the loss, and then in the bronze medal game, when they win. You wish you were there, you wish you could call her, congratulate her. You wonder if she watched your Champions League games. You wonder if she saw you lose and wished she could call you. You wonder if she thinks about you at all.

Maybe in another life, you tell yourself, maybe if things were different. Maybe you should just let it all go, maybe when you stop waiting, she’ll come back to you.

[odysseyeurobeat]

Literally just me gushing about eurobeat

Y'know what? Tumblr, you get a little treat. I don't have much better of a place to post something long-winded like this, so here we are.

I love eurobeat music. Big surprise from the girl with it in her handle, right? But I don't just love one kind of eurobeat. No, I'd go so far as to say I love it all. This genre becomes an absolute buffet of delightful, energetic, silly fun when you forget about trying to look for ways it "doesn't count", and try to look for the ways it does.

I love early eurobeat! I love the stuff that's indistinguishable from early Italo Disco, the formative things where the tempo was still low and the disco vibes were still high! That's Eurobeat and the first few volumes of Super Eurobeat are great for this!

I love later eurobeat, too! Even if some of the sounds aren't always my favorites, I love that folks were trying new things and dabbling with new sounds, experimenting in ways that in previous years seemed prohibited! Comparing some aliases who have been going for multiple decades from this period to when they started is also super fun!

I love traditional eurobeat, if I could pick a name for it! Faster, more rave-influenced, whether or not it's still got some disco elements in it, themes about nightclubs and love and loss and betrayal and that ever-ubiquitous fire! Maharajah Night has some great examples, leading into the bulk of pre-200 Super Eurobeat volumes!

I love J-Euro! It turns out, folks in Japan have different ideas and tastes and approach the genre VERY differently than the folks in Italy do, and I love how it sounds! I love how the sound design is so different and the speed jumps a little higher!

I love indie eurobeat! I love hearing how new and amateur producers take a crack at the sound, and seeing what folks do as the tools for making it grow and evolve! Even virtual versions of the synths the masters used to use are available now, and it's fantastic to hear how those things sound in new hands! I love the ways indie producers bend, break, and work around the rules of the genre and still deliver a uniquely "eurobeat" experience! Without this category, I would never have found DJ Command, DJ Bouche, Turbo, Vikas Beatbox, the Galaxian Recordings crew, and so, so many more!

I love happy eurobeat! The nature of the genre makes it so straightforward to pair its signature energy with joy, delight, empowerment!

I love sad eurobeat! That very same energy that powers joy and happiness can be just as powerful for driving home sorrow and sadness, and some lyrics even carry strong emotional weight (we're well past the days of eurobeat being only about Burning Love Car Baby Fire Desire Tonight Drift Tokyo, y'know)!

I love fandom eurobeat! Yup! Vocaloid, Touhou, MLP:FiM, Vtubers; whatever you may be a fan of, chances are good there's a eurobeat remix out there (or even an original) that suits your fancy!

I love Initial D eurobeat! How could I not, right? The classics are classics for a reason, and eurobeat and drift racing are a uniquely fantastic pair. Of all the things eurobeat could be about, it's one of a few that really knock it out of the park!

I love feminine eurobeat! Masculine eurobeat is great too, but it already gets a lot of love in the other categories, so I want to celebrate those eurobeat songs that feel quite the opposite while still being perfectly eurobeat! Eurobeat is broad enough to express feelings like this, too!

I love songs that aren't quite eurobeat, but have elements of it! And I love eurobeat songs that heavily include elements from other genres, too! Eurobeat is like any other genre-- it has not always had the same chances to rub shoulders with other sounds in the dance space, but when it does, some wonderful things happen! And the whole music world is enriched for that cross-pollenation!

I love the songs I used to dislike! To think I'd go from vastly disliking Norma Sheffield's discography, to adoring it so fully! Disliking "Higher Higher More and More" to seeking it out from time to time! Not being fond of SAIFAM/BBB's style, to knowing some of its songs by heart!

And most of all, I love that I get to MAKE this stuff for a living! I do not take the fact that this could've not worked out trivially, and I hope I've rewarded your patiences well with a lot of new favorites and starting points for diving deeper into the genre over the last... almost 20 years, now!

And that's just the tip of the iceberg! I understand some eurobeat isn't to everyone's taste, but I think if you haven't tasted all that there is out there, you owe it to yourself to see how you feel about it. You might be pleasantly surprised!

[elsthoughtshrs]

Midnights

Summary: Spencer's surprising knowledge regarding Taylor Swift's newest album 'Midnights' sparks the teams conversation about his secret girlfriend.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 882

Read on Ao3

“Have you listened to it yet?” Penelope asked eagerly as she approached JJ’s desk across the bullpen.

They had just gotten back from a case the night before and thus were confined to the bullpen as they worked through paperwork before a new case hit their desks. However paperwork was dreadfully boring, as I had told Spencer in the car that morning, so any opportunity to ignore it was taken gratefully.

JJ looked up with a smile, “I did, I got to listen when I got home last night and again on my way to work this morning.”

“Perfect.” Penelope dragged an empty chair to her desk before she continued, “Do you have a favourite song yet? I have a couple but I need to know your opinions first.”

Briefly, I glanced to Spencer who hadn’t looked up at the commotion but he wore a small smile at the mention. Since we had started dating, he learnt quickly that I loved Taylor Swift. I hadn’t made him listen to the entirety of her discography, but Midnights was the first album to come out since we started dating. Obviously, I had insisted upon him sitting up with me as we listened to every song as soon as we had the chance. We sat up the night before listening to every song, stopping at the end of each so I could give him my thoughts on them.

“I think Mastermind,” JJ replied thoughtfully.

Penelope nodded earnestly, “That’s a good one, I think mine Bejewelled. Or Lavender Haze. Or Karma. I don’t know, it’s hard.”

Those had also been top contenders for her and Spencer, although eventually it was decided upon between the both of them that they liked You’re On Your Own Kid the most.

“It’s so different from Folklore and Evermore though, I wasn’t ready for it, I love it though,” JJ raved.

Absentmindedly Spencer spoke up, “It’s like a mix of 1989 and Speak Now I think.”

He hadn’t looked up when he spoke, so it wasn’t until the bullpen fell silent that he looked up and saw the curious looks around him. Even Tara, Luke, and Matt had tuned in.

“What?”

“I didn’t take you as a Taylor Swift fan?” JJ said, looking bemused by his confusion.

He merely shrugged, briefly glancing my way before he replied, “She’s my girlfriend’s favourite artist. We listened to Midnights when I got back last night.”

Penelope gasped at the words, “Again with this mystery girlfriend, she gets better every time I hear about her. Now she’s a swiftie.”

“When do we get to meet her?” Matt asked, adding to fuel to the fire.

“What’s her favourite song?” JJ added.

Spencer opened his mouth slightly before he actually spoke, “I don’t know, I’ll have to talk to her about it.”

He had mentioned a few months back that he had a girlfriend to the team in passing. It was just when they were asking about his plans for the weekend and he unthinkingly mentioned that he was going to a Chess exhibit at the Smithsonian with his girlfriend. It had gone downhill since then, every other question from Penelope to him was about this mysterious girlfriend of his.

It hadn’t even been that they had been trying to hide the relationship at first, it had mostly just been new and so they also weren’t going out of their way to publicise it. However, it had been a solid eight months and no one really knew. Well, Rossi definitely knew. He hadn’t mentioned it but he did give them a slight nod with a smile after he saw that they arrived at his place for dinner together.

“Can you at least tell us about her?” Penelope pleaded.

I bit my lip as I looked down at my paperwork, attempting to hide a smirk. Although it didn’t go amiss with JJ.

“What was that, do you know who she is?”

“Who who is?” Rossi asked as he walked through the bullpen with Emily.

Spencer looked relieved at their presence, “Do we have a case?”

Emily shook her head, “Nothing. Who are we talking about?”

“Spencer’s secret girlfriend,” Tara called out with amusement.

Rossi gave an amused nod as Luke spoke, looking my way, “Apparently it’s not all that secret.”

I glanced to Spencer who raised his eyebrows in question, I only shrugged in response. He tilted his head before I nodded slightly and spoke up.

“I’m his secret girlfriend.”

“What?” Penelope gasped, jumping out of her seat. “Since when? Why didn’t you tell us? Oh my god, this is so exciting. Really?”

Spencer let out a quiet laugh and nodded, “Since about eight months ago.”

“Eight months!” JJ exclaimed, “You’re kidding.”

“Wait,” Penelope said suddenly, “What is your favourite song on Midnights?”

I snorted at her sudden revelation that I also liked Taylor Swift, “You’re On Your Own Now Kid.”

“Oh my god, this is so great,” Penelope continued as she gave me a tight hug before she quickly moved onto to Spencer.

Tara nodded, “We’re going to give you so much shit for this.”

“Oh definitely,” Luke agreed.

“Not as much as your mom gave me last night,” I called as JJ gave me a hug, earning an eyeroll from Luke as the team congratulated us.

[kylieswift31]

🖤🤎🤍🤎🖤

Welcome

It is my intention to explore the deeper meanings within Taylor Swift’s discography and artwork. I hope to provide a more out of the box approach to uncover missing links along the way, whilst acknowledging the effort others have invested before me.

I feel like I land more on the gaylor side of the community, where I believe Taylor is gay but am more enthralled by the performance art that is unfolding. I have reached a point of being truly museless, and instead tend to focus on the different layers of Taylor being her own muse.

I’ve been a fan of Taylor Swift since her music was first played on the radio here in Australia. I owned her first three albums, lost touch when I joined Spotify and became a swiftie with the anticipation of the midnights release. Earlier this year I dove deeper into her discography and became a Gaylor just after the tortured poets department release.

In the middle of a severe M.E. relapse that has left me bedbound since April, Taylor’s music has become my lifeline. Sharing my opinion and point of view has given me something positive to focus on when my real life has come to a stand still. I feel like my current life is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum to Taylor’s, yet feel like we share a unique perspective because of this.

Through my posts I hope to provide a unique perspective that helps bridge the gap between the gaylors and swifties ahead of what’s to come. I hope you feel welcome here and learn something new regardless of where you fit within these communities.

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

P.S. You can find my other accounts here.

Analysis index

I’d recommend starting with these -> 🌟

The beginning

Surprise song dresses

Midnights clock

Box of lies

Lucky 13 🌟

Alchemy

Vault clock

Delicate

Taylor Swift and the Truman show 🌟 🌟🌟

The caged tiger

I don't wanna live forever

The mirrorball 🌟

Cinderella (Taylor’s version)

Today was a fairytale funeral

Taylor 'Tinkerbell' Swift

The director

I can do it with a broken heart 🌟

Love actually

Taylor & Truman timeline update

Are you not entertained?!

The Trojan horse 🌟

Midnights Mayhem with Me! 🌟

The tortoise and the hare 🌟

Hey Stephen

My. Space.

Liar, liar, pants on fire 🌟

The pair-ent trap

Awesome twosome we will be

Lover vs midnights ending

The lightning tree

A secret love story 🌟🌟🌟

All too well 🌟

Box of lies

Two graves, one gun

Benjamin Button 🌟

An “ally”

Gay Mardi Gras

[queercafe]

phoebe is the queen of pretending not to care. she uses details and humor to obfuscate her emotions. how many times in her discography does she actually tell us what she's feeling? and when she does it hits us like a train.

lucy is the queen of storytelling. she writes her songs through the lens of memory. she tells us the story of a moment where nothing happened with so much clarity we can put ourselves right there. she simultaneously puts us in the moment and in the space she's at while reflecting on it.

julien is the queen of expressivity. she writes in a way that is SO direct and vulnerable that it sidesteps the possibility of feeling cliche, which is so often the danger with art that tells us how it feels. she captures exactly how it feels to be in a given moment, as if she wrote the song right then without giving herself a chance to translate it into something more consumable.

these different lyrical styles are what makes boygenius tick, the push and pull of julien and phoebe deciding whether or not to show us they care, of julien and lucy being in the moment and in the past, and of phoebe and lucy using completely different methods to avoid being too on-the-nose. they all have a completely different way of approaching lyricism but they all complement each other in a way unlike any other group i've ever seen.

[mbakuetshurisprincess]

Back to Black Part 2

AN: Hey y'all! The love on Back to Black was actually mind-blowing, like I had no idea y'all would like it THAT much lol. I’m glad though it was definitely really fun to write something different for Shuri and make her (I don’t wanna say the villain that seems so harsh lol) not the good guy in a fic. This is turning out to be more of a slow burn but I PROMISE all will end well… eventually. Also about the music, I’m a HUGE Amy Winehouse fan, like love that white woman DOWN! So I’m gonna pick a different song from her discography for every chapter of this fic, something that relates to the theme of this chapter. That taglist was hell to do and I don’t even think it worked fr fr, how do the pros do their tag list??

Summary: After vowing to never step foot in Wakanda again, unforeseen circumstances bring you back and face to face with everything (and everyone) you left. 

Pairing: Shuri x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, alcoholism. 

Word count: 3,085

Suggested listening: Love Is a Losing Game by Amy Winehouse

“Love is a losing game

One I wished I never played

Oh, what a mess we made

And now, the final frame

Love is a losing game”

“Sit.” You instructed Shuri, positioning her body over the closed toilet seat. She sat down with a sigh, leaning her head back against the wall behind the toilet and closing her eyes. You took the moment of her eyes not being on yours to look at her in the light. 

She had lost a lot of her color, and while her skin was still a deep chocolate color, it lacked the depth that Wakandan sunlight brought her. Her jawline had gotten sharper, a telltale sign that she wasn’t eating as much as she needed to anymore. And although her eyes were closed, her brow remained furrowed. As if even in her thoughts she came face to face with the problems she was trying to avoid. 

Shuri opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of you looking down at her. She recognized the look that you were giving her, it was the same way you looked at her the first time she had come out of her lab after her six-month self-containment. At that time Shuri swore she would never do anything to make you feel like that again, clearly by the look you were giving her, she had failed. 

“Unbutton your shirt and get undressed, I’m going to run you a bath okay?” Shuri nodded in response and you turned on your heels, breaking your gaze from her. You approached the tub and reached to grab the tablet that controlled it. 

“I- I haven't let anyone change anything Y/N, all of your settings are still there,” Shuri spoke hesitantly. She was referring to the presets you had on set up for the tub. Shuri realized when you were dating just how much you loved baths, so as a surprise she tricked the whole tub out for you. Allowing you to make custom presets that each had varying temperatures, scents, and even playlists. You smiled lightly to yourself at the memories as your fingers clicked the relaxation button. Instantly hot water began flowing out of the tub spout and the drain locked. Your playlist entitled “Best of Amy Winehouse” started playing and the smile never left your face. The smell of lavender filled the air and even though this was supposed to be for Shuri you immediately felt calmer. 

Remembering Shuri’s word about not changing anything you opened the drawers next to the tub grabbing a bottle of lavender bubble bath. You poured a capful in and instantly bubbles filled the tub, another one of Shuri’s more mundane inventions: crazy strong bubble bath. 

You turned back to face Shuri and found her in no better state than you left her in. Her hands were fiddling with her buttons, the tired expression still on her face. She hadn’t made it past the first button. 

“Let me help you Shuri.” You said softly walking over to her. You crouched between her legs and allowed your fingers to find the buttons she struggled on. Shuri didn't move her hands and after a second she started swatting yours away. 

“I can do it myself Y/N.” She said looking down at you through her heavy lids.

You took a deep breath in and exhaled softly. “You never could let anyone else help you could you?” She was now stuck on the second button, her slender fingers unable to push it through the hole. 

“I-” Shuri went to speak before deciding not to, you were right and even in her drunk, hungover state she knew it. She dropped her hands to her sides and broke her eye contact with you. Your hands resumed their place and quickly undid the button. 

“I’m not going to fight you Shuri.” You said moving on to the next button. “I’m not gonna sit here and fight you with every step of this. I’m here to help and if you don’t want it I have no problem leaving.” You looked up at her and she sent you a nod of understanding.

You finished the rest of the buttons and pulled the shirt off of her shoulders leaving her in only the wife beater she wore as an undershirt and her shorts. You stood from between her legs and held your hands out for her to take, she obliged. She delicately placed her hands in yours and stood up, standing a good amount taller than you. You unbuttoned her shorts and slid them down her legs as she stepped out of them. Both of you were aware of how little physical space now existed between the two of you. 

Seeing her now in this more vulnerable state you were aware of just how sick she looked. While Shuri had always been slender you could now see her ribcage peeking through her skin and her once-toned body had lost much of the muscle she developed through hard training with Okoye. Shuri felt the concern in the way you were observing her and it instantly made her cross her arms to her chest, not wanting you to see any of her new scars. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” You said, removing your eyes from her body and putting them on the floor. “You can um finish undressing, I’ll go get you a towel.” You started walking backward away from her, creating distance between the two of you. 

“You don’t have to leave sthandwa.” Shuri’s hands found the bottom of her shirt, pulling it up revealing some of her torso. Her hands caught your eyes, following her hands, and would they have continued as she pulled her shirt up further but the sound of the water stopping pulled you back into reality. At the sound, you spun your back to face her and walked quickly out of the room, face flushed. You needed to get your head back on straight. A few pet names and a flash of her body weren’t enough to make you forget what had happened. 

You heard the sound of her body entering the water and a groan accompanying it letting you know that Shuri was in the tub. You dug through the dresser drawers and pulled out an array of butters and lotions for Shuri after the shower, along with a variety of hair products. You retrieved a large fluffy towel with a matching washcloth, a hair wrap, a new set of pajamas, and some of the hair products. You set the pajamas down on the bed before making your way back into the bathroom. Shuri’s body sat emerged in the tub with only her collar bones peeking out above the bubbles. You hung the towel and hair wrap up on a nearby towel warmer and returned to Shuri. 

Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted back, resting on the edge of the tub. You grabbed some of the body wash and squirted it onto the washcloth, dipping it into the water and rubbing it together to get it soapy. You removed her arm that was closest to you from the water and started washing it. Your mind had memorized the various scars and bruises that littered her body and as you moved further up her neck to her collarbone the memories of how she got each one faded back to you. 

It wasn’t until you got to the part of her chest that peaked out of the water that you noticed a new scar. It was no more than three inches long and by the looks of it couldn’t have been there longer than a few months. You ran your finger over it and felt the ridges signifying that it hadn’t healed correctly. 

Shuri could read your mind by the expression on your face and the way your hand gently touched her chest. “It doesn't hurt Y/N.” 

You looked over at her, you hadn’t even noticed Shuri open her eyes. Assuming the hot water and lavender had put her to sleep. You wanted to speak, to tell her that you would make sure that it healed correctly, but the words wouldn’t come to your mouth. It was almost as if your body was reminding you that healing Shuri in that way wasn’t your place anymore. So you simply nodded and continued cleaning her body. 

After you felt her body had been cleaned, you grabbed the showerhead off the wall and positioned it over Shuri’s hair before turning it on. Once again Shuri let out a soft groan as the warm water touched her scalp. You used your free hand to start finger detangling some of her curls, upon realizing this was going to be a job that needed both your hands you grabbed a bottle of leave-in detangler and poured it generously over Shuri's head. You set it down on the side of the tub and massaged the substance into her scalp and curls with delicate hands. 

“I miss you Y/N,” Shuri said, opening her eyes and tilting her head to look up at you. 

You took a deep breath before speaking “Shuri, you moved your head, I was working on the back, and now I can’t reach it.”

Shuri tilted her head back down and you continued your work in silence for a minute before she spoke again. 

“That is all you have to say?” This time she didn’t move her head so she didn’t catch you rolling your eyes. You dipped your hands into the water washing the excess product off. You stood finally from the spot you had been in for the past hour and looked down at Shuri. Normally she could tell your mood by the way your eyes looked, but for some reason now she couldn’t place your emotions. 

“What I have to say is,” You walked over to the towel warmer, grabbed Shuri’s towel and hair wrap, and set it on the sink next to her. “This is your towel and hair wrap. I left lotion, butters, and pj’s on the bed. Dry off, lotion up, get dressed, and call for me when you're done, I’ll be outside the door waiting to do your hair.” The first part of the sentence was almost cold enough to make Shuri think you might not have any feelings left for her, but the second half. She heard the softness come out in your voice when you mentioned doing her hair. She hadn’t lost you yet. 

She thought about giving a witty remark but didn’t want to push her luck with you on your first day back so Shuri responded with a simple “Okay.”

You exited the bathroom and then your room closing the door behind you. You leaned against the door and took a deep breath, “Focus.” You reminded yourself. You figured it would take Shuri at least twenty minutes to get herself situated given her state, you chose the time to enter her room again, opening her blinds immediately. You called to Isoke who stood guard outside of the door and she came in. 

“Yes ma’am?” She spoke softly, her eyes looking straight down. You hadn’t seen her much during your time in Wakanda and if you remembered correctly she had just graduated when you left. 

“Can you please have the cleaners sent in? I want this place looking more like a home when we bring Shuri back here.” Isoke nodded and turned on her heels. 

“Oh and one more thing.” You spoke, causing her to pause in her tracks. “Every bottle of alcohol, every ounce of weed, all her paraphernalia, everything. I want it boxed up and burned. Do you understand me?” She nodded again and quickly scurried out of the room. 

You couldn’t place it but something about her leaving you feeling unwell. You walked around Shuri’s room to see if you could find anything else to help you understand Shuri’s mental state. In her bed, you found an object that nearly brought tears to your eyes. It was the Build-a-bear you two had made on one of your trips to America. By the way its fur had started to matt you could tell she had been sleeping with it. You couldn’t tell how much time had passed but the soft call of your name brought you out of Shuri’s room and back to your own. Where Shuri now sat in the all-black pajama set that you had picked out for her, waiting for you. 

You looked once more at the hair products you had pulled out, ensuring that you had everything you needed. Once you were sure you sat down on the edge of the bed. You and Shuri had done this before but unlike normal this time, she waited for your signal. You gesture in between your legs and Shuri quickly scurried into her place, being this close to you was all she desired. 

Before the cheating and couples therapy and more cheating, when you were still able to pull Shuri from her lab with just a sweet smile. You would devote Sunday evenings to doing her hair, an intimate act she had only let her mother do before you. She would sit in between your legs and speak of anything that frustrated her or what inventions were not working. You would listen as you detangled and twisted her hair, preparing it for the long week ahead. Eventually similar to a child when she had finally tired herself out of complaining she would lean her head against your leg and pepper kisses to the inside of your thigh before she fell asleep. The feeling of Shuri letting you take care of her was something you cherished, especially as your relationship furthered and the time you spent together became less and less. Every once and a while when she was particularly stressed she would come to you and ask you to do her hair. And you always obliged. 

You silently began your work on her hair as she sat, first separating her hair into four sections and then working with her hair a fourth at a time. You ran a wide tooth comb through her hair, starting at the ends and making your way up, in order not to snag any knots. After detangling, you split the section into fourths and twisted each fourth. You had made your way through the second section and were onto the third when Shuri rose her voice and spoke up. 

“Why did you come back Y/N?” You stopped humming, considering if you even wanted to give her an answer. 

“Nakia and Okoye came to get me.” You continued combing through the third section. 

“And you just agreed? All the messages I sent you begging for you to come back to us didn’t mean as much as their words?” You had not forgotten what drunk Shuri was like and this was a symptom of that. There was a hint of anger in her words that didn’t go unnoticed by you. 

You let out a sigh, clearly a common theme for the night, and spoke. “No, I didn't want to come back Shuri, when I said I never wanted to return, I meant it.” 

“So why did you?” Shuri snaked her left arm under your left leg, wrapping it around so her hand could rest on the top of your thigh. Her words seemed accusatory but the way her hand was sitting on your thigh, that was nothing short of romantic. 

You started twisting her hair before you spoke. “They told me you started drinking again.” 

“I-” Shuri tried to speak but you cut her off. 

“Although truthfully that wasn’t what did it.” You moved on to the next twist. “Nakia begged. She said you refuse T’Challa and begged that I get you out of bed and back into his life. 

Shuri had nothing to say to this, shame ran hot through her face. She moved her hand from your thigh and sunk more into the floor. As you finished the last twist you started to feel bad about your response but she was the one who asked. 

“Shuri.” You spoke her name lightly, leaving the conversation like that felt wrong. 

“Hmm?” You took down the last section of her hair and started combing, repeating the process for the final time.

“Of course I missed you. I spent six whole months in the states missing you. So consumed with my want to be with you I couldn’t do anything but cry and sleep.” You separated the last section and started twisting. “But after six months, Shuri, I had to ask myself what was I missing. Was I missing the dates you stood me up on? The nights I went to bed alone while you were in the lab tinkering away with your latest technological development? That couldn’t be what had me throwing my life away. So I stopped missing you.” By the time you finished speaking you had finished the last twist, letting it plop down on her face. 

Shuri nodded her head, there was nothing she could say. You were right, Shuri hadn’t treated you the way she should during the final year of your relationship. 

You grabbed the silk scarf from next to you and wrapped it around Shuri’s head. The words you wanted to say to her blossomed in your mind. “But I do miss you, I miss when it was simple and just us.” Even so, you kept them to yourself. 

You tapped Shuri’s shoulder and she stood from between your legs, giving you the space to stand up and stretch. You looked at the clock on the table and the time read 11 PM. Shuri followed your eyes and sighed knowing her time with you for the day was nearing a close. You smiled at her sigh and you turned to start removing objects from the bed to give Shuri a clear place to sleep. She walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers, looking back at you as you nodded signifying that you were serious about her sleeping. Shuri slipped under the covers and watched as you walked over to her. 

You sat on the edge of her bed and placed your inside hand on Shuri’s cheek, she melted into your touch and placed her hand on top of yours. You leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

“Goodnight Shuri.” You removed your hand from her face and stood from the bed. Shuri caught your hand before you could leave. 

“Stay? Stay with me tonight?” Your breath caught as you thought about her words. 

“Okay.”

TAGLIST: 

@vevethirst @angelsmist @coalmistyy @eriksjournal @avsphroeg @nil-eena @zane2408 @homie0sapien @noneofyabuisnezs @ilacknames @rotten-toenails @starrknessblog @adaya08 @bigbigbigfan @cour1ne7 @gaspyghosttt @gardenofshuri @chrome-edition @londyn-loves-u @shuri-my-love @trixielwt @arielna2805 @syupakingcowbaby @luxuriouslokistan-3 @shuriswift @raydestin @liv444me @aphroditeisamilf @blkmystery @bestfriend491 

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Gastr Del Sol

Photo by James Crump

Gastr Del Sol was the convergence of two individuals who had not spent their youths like anyone else and were on their way to lives quite unlike most lives. Between 1991 and 1998 David Grubbs and Jim O’Rourke made a sequence of records that simultaneously pointed out what a lot of music listeners were missing and where music might go next if it was really interested in being interesting. Grubbs came from Louisville, Kentucky’s hardcore scene; he played in Squirrel Bait while he was in high school, and took Bastro with him to college. Jim O’Rourke grew up tracking down recordings from the far reaches of every fringe and then setting about making his own place within each method he learned. Before he was out of college, he’d already made connections with Henry Kaiser, Derek Bailey and the folks at Ina GRM. Each was a guy who knew what the other did not, and their collaboration pushed both to make music that they would never make again with anyone else.

Gastr Del Sol began when Grubbs decided to let Bastro get quiet, and made one LP before O’Rourke came aboard. Their first album together, Crookt, Crackt, Or Fly, was assembled from miniaturized poetry, elongated post-punk riffs, frozen improvisation and fluid, texturally-focused compositions. Their last, Camofleur, is a droll pop statement completed just weeks prior to the collapse of the duo’s relationship. The acrimony between them took a couple of decades to die down, but around the same time that they buried the hatchet, a live recording of their final concert surfaced. We Have Dozens Of Titles shuffles together that performance plus every compilation, single, or EP track that Gastr Del Sol released outside their core Drag City discography.

Intro by Bill Meyer

Jonathan Shaw: I have admired Gastr del Sol from a sort of distance. I like “At Night and At Night,” from the terrific Hey Drag Citycomp; I know Upgrade & Afterlife quite well and dearly love “Dry Bones in the Valley...”, the Fahey cover collab with Tony Conrad. The first song on this new-ish record sidles in alongside those wooden textures, but is a more anxious affair. I like that it never quite boils over or takes its propulsive energies to catharsis. It’s sort of a complement to the conversation with the French kid blowing up firecrackers at the track’s close: it can’t quite move forward, in spite of all of the things that want it to.

That’s also a handy metaphor for my relationship to the music. When I have listened to Crookt, Cracked..., I get the sense that these are really, really smart folks, doing some smart stuff, but I haven’t quite connected with and moved into the sounds. They can be forbiddingly remote. So, I am glad for this record, and its invitation to revisit the band’s trajectory.

Bill Meyer: Each record is so different that I can easily see someone liking one and not likening others, and if you held a gun to my head, Upgrade & Afterlife is the one I would name as my favorite. Which makes it all the more interesting that this collection spans their existence from O’Rourke’s first presence (the Teenbeat single — and it’s pretty amazing that they ended up on that label) to the very last concert (that trip is probably when the encounter with the Francophone child occurred, since the concert was in Quebec).

By virtue of its length and timespan, We Have Dozens Of Titles shows more sides of Gastr Del Sol than any other record.

Bryon Hayes: I think that’s one of the band’s traits that I find appealing, that their sound and approach shifted from record to record. “At Night and At Night” was my introduction to the band, and it also seems to encapsulate multiple faces of Gastr Del Sol in a single track: a drone intro, followed by a guitar/poetry passage, and then a dollop of minimalism accompanied by backwards cymbal splashes. I bought Hey Drag City for Pavement, Silver Jews, and Smog but was introduced to some new and intriguing sounds across the whole of the comp. That track, and Gastr Del Sol as a whole, always felt like a riddle or a logic puzzle to me, albeit one that continuously changed, so it wasn’t possible to “solve” it. But I actually like that fact: the thrill of the act of investigating is pure enjoyment itself.

I never did get to experience Gastr Del Sol in a live setting, so those tracks on We Have Dozens of Titles are particularly revelatory for me. I like the more stripped-down setting of “The Seasons Reverse,” for example. Maybe even more than the version on Camofleur. I’d also bet that the field recording of the kids came from Victoriaville. The town is far enough into Quebec that it’s likely there was a language barrier between O’Rourke and the local youth at the time. Also, the drawn-out version of “Blues Subtitled No Sense of Wonder” feels much fuller and richer in the live setting than it does on Camofleur. I’m not saying I dislike that album, but I too would pick Upgrade & Afterlife as my favorite...

Bill Meyer: Because I lived in the same town as Gastr Del Sol, I was fortunate to see them a lot. The concerts were pretty different from one another, and didn’t always sound much like the most recently released record. When they played with John McEntire, things could be more rock-ish, and I have one fond memory of them getting pretty wild with the feedback. Afterwards O’Rourke seemed embarrassed, like he’d lost control and done the wrong thing. There was room for spontaneity, but they were not an improv act. In 1997 they did lock into the two guys with two acoustic guitars thing for a while, probably because they had a fair number of out-of-town gigs in their later years; they didn’t necessarily want to lug a lot of gear around.

Another aspect of living in the same town with them was seeing the other things they had going. O’Rourke could often be seen accompanying someone whose work he championed (ex: Rafael Toral), and they both played with Red Krayola (although O’Rourke bailed for a while and Grubbs kept going), Edith Frost, and Arnold Dreyblatt.

Jonathan Shaw: Never saw the band, and the live material on this comp is what’s impressing me most. Given my proclivities toward their work with acoustic guitars, I am most compelled by “Onion Orange,” which works a space between gentle and tense to very satisfying effect. The repetitive sequence of notes in that initial six-or-so minutes is really engaging; it invites anticipation, flirts with letting that become apprehension. I can imagine that would be even more powerful in a real room, with the players really making the noises in front of you. But even here, via the mp3 I am playing on a device, it’s strong stuff.

Bill Meyer: I still need to a-b that with the original on Grubbs’ solo album.

That album, Banana Cabbage, Potato Lettuce, Onion Orange, seems not to be on Bandcamp, and Table of the Elements is long defunct. I’ll have to pull out my CD and play it. On the original edition, Grubbs plays everything, but O’Rourke recorded two of the album’s three tracks. I remember it being very still, a Grubbs take on Morton Feldman. What you hear in this live performance, Jonathan, is probably what makes me think I like this new version better than the original. There’s a management of tension that probably comes from two people playing it together in real time.

The way that We Have Dozens Of Titles is sequenced, with live tracks littered throughout the collection, makes it easy to forget that we’re hearing a complete set here.

Ian Mathers: There’s a relatively well-known tweet (for those of us that are too online, at least) where a guy who’s only ever seen one movie sees a second and immediately compares it to his only experience. As someone who’s never heard Gastr del Sol before (although they’ve lingered somewhere on my impossibly long “get to this someday” list) and only really knows Jim O’Rourke’s work via his Bad Timing album, I had my own “Getting a lot of ‘Boss Baby’ vibes from this...” moment playing the opening live version of “The Seasons Reverse.” The guitar playing there immediately put me in mind of Bad Timing, which isn’t a bad thing! I was slightly relieved when this compilation pretty immediately shows off different aspects of his and Grubbs’ sound, even in the other live tracks.

And while I did enjoy all of We Have Dozens of Titles, enough so that I’m wondering based on the comments here which of their albums I should check out next, the live tracks do feel like a cut above everything else. I’m probably going to try listening to just them, and while I respect the choice to scatter them throughout this release despite being one show (do we have any idea if they preserved the order of the setlist, or jumbled that up as well as splitting them up?) there is a part of me that wishes it was a separate release. Which is kind of silly, I know — absolutely nothing is stopping me from just playing the live stuff whenever I want, and I’m very glad to have the rest of the material here. My first question for those more knowledgeable: is the album version of “Blues Subtitled No Sense of Wonder” as amazing as the live one here, and should I make that my next stop?

Bill Meyer: If you like the live version of “Blues Subtitled No Sense of Wonder,” you definitely need to check out the studio version. For that reason, I’d point you to Camofleur and then suggest that you work your way backwards through the catalog.

Bryon Hayes: The album version has beautiful vocal harmonies with lyrics that are dryly humorous; the title of the box set is derived from them, actually. The music on the box set version feels fuller and louder than that on the album, the electronics bolder and noisier, accompanied by rich organ tones. Also, that interlude of shouted movie dialogue (or whatever it is), is not in the Camofleur version. Both are appealing, but I enjoy the live version slightly more. If Grubbs sang on the live version, it might be the clear winner for me.

Ian Mathers: Interesting, thanks for the tips! If I’m remembering correctly, there’s no vocals on this collection for at least a while, and I was slightly nonplussed when they came in; not bad, certainly, but it felt slightly out of place with the music. (I was working while listening, which might be the culprit there.) I’ll be interested to A/B the two versions and see what I think.

Bill Meyer: I just drove past the Lyon & Healy building at Lake and Ogden, which prompts the question — what do you make of “The Harp Factory On Lake Street”?

Jonathan Shaw: I sort of like it when there are vocals — in part because of the poetic nature of what’s sung (see “Rebecca Sylvester” on Upgrade & Afterlife), in part because it feels grounding in musical contexts that frequently get very abstract.

Bill Meyer: I like the way you frame that, Jonathan. Grubbs’ words do have a way of anchoring part of the music, bringing a sonic fixedness that contrasts with the music around them, but also introducing an uncertainty of their own because of their sometimes-oblique content.

Roz Milner: I’ve just been lurking this thread. I’m not familiar with this group, although I do like what little Jim O’Rourke’s music I’ve heard (Bad Timing, Happy Days). Any recommendations on where to start with them?

Tim Clarke: I’d start with Camoufleur, which is easily their most accessible album. I have a bit of an uneasy relationship with Gastr Del Sol. I got into them soon after I became obsessed with Jim O’Rourke’s Eureka, but it was quite a shift in tone from that album. I do enjoy Camoufleur a lot, and the album versions of “The Seasons Reverse” and “Blues Subtitled No Sense of Wonder” are, in my opinion, far superior to the live versions on We Have Dozens of Titles.

Gastr Del Sol are quintessentially experimental, in that much of their music sounds so open-ended, as though O’Rourke and Grubbs are constantly wondering what x would sound like played at the same time as y, whether it’s an open, suspended acoustic guitar voicing alongside a sour synthesizer drone, or some piano with some field recordings or samples. Upgrade & Afterlife actually freaks me out! The first time I listened to it after buying it from Rough Trade in London, I couldn’t venture past the opening track as a massive gnarly insect flew in through my open window while I was listening to it on a spring evening. It scared me so much I don’t think I’ve revisited the album since. There are moments on We Have Dozens of Titles that are truly magical, so I think I’ll have to get over my fear and revisit Upgrade & Afterlife after all this time.

Christian Carey: The timing of this release is interesting. David Grubbs was just appointed Distinguished University Professor by CUNY, the highest faculty distinction possible. In addition, he was just awarded the Berlin Prize, and will be in residence there next year. Wonder if the awards might have helped to fund the recording project.

Jonathan Shaw: Distinguished Prof at CUNY — pretty swell. Makes sense. Some of Gastr del Sol’s headiest stuff has the feel of the “experimental,” and in ways that engage the connotations of knowledge and concept in that term (which often gets used lightly and lazily, IMHO). That might have something to do with why I like the live tracks so much. There’s an organic quality to them. Still thorny and challenging music, like the ebbs and flows that make “Dictionary of Handwriting” disorienting and strange. But it’s happening. It’s made, not just thought or assembled.

Jennifer Kelly: Once again, not super immersed in this band, though I had a copy of Crookt, Crackt or Fly at one time, which I can’t find and don’t remember very well, though I’m listening to it on YouTube right now, and the combination of Grubbs’ wandering vocals and aggressive, stabbing guitars seems familiar-ish. So, coming to this a bit cold, though I’ve enjoyed Grubbs’ more recent work with Ryley Walker and Jan St. Werner — and there are definitely some common threads. Nonlinearity, an elastic sense of key and rhythm, a haunted room kind of aesthetic.

I found this track-by-track exposition at the Quietus, which I was trying to read as the songs came up and it’s quite good. I especially liked the paragraphs about “The Bells of St. Mary’s,” written for what sounds like a truly bizarre Christmas comp with Merzbow and Melt Banana on it. Gastr del Sol’s lone concession to the holiday form was sleigh bells, though Grubbs says the main reference was to “I Wanna Be Your Dog” not “Jinglebells.”

Anyway, you might enjoy this.

Tim Clarke: In addition to the Quietus piece, this recent podcast interview is also very enlightening in regard to the history of the band. A rare opportunity to hear Jim O’Rourke chat lightheartedly too.

Having spent more time with the album now, I realize that my listening gets derailed by a couple of Grubbs’ and O’Rourke’s tendencies with this music. The first is when Grubbs does a kind of scat singing that follows the spiky contours of the acoustic guitar parts. And the second is when they retreat into near silence.

Bill Meyer: Near-silence is an O’Rourke strategy to make sure that the volume is set high enough when you get to the loud part.

Christian Carey: I’m curious what connections to later projects people hear in the recording. As TJ mentioned, there are some mannerisms that seem to forecast avant moves by both Grubbs and O’Rourke, with greater assuredness in the idiom. The post-rock vibe is unmistakable, and I am finding the songs with connections to Tortoise et. al. to be the most compelling music-making here.

Bill Meyer: Re: similarities with Tortoise, it’s worth keeping in mind that John McEntire of Tortoise was also a member of Bastro and a key non-member contributor to Gastr Del Sol. Re: the term post-rock, I appreciate the irony that Gastr Del Sol was actually O’Rourke’s entree into rock following years of intense work in improvisation, musique concrete, etc. with people like Henry Kaiser, Eddie Prevost, Christoph Heemann and Illusion of Safety. It was his “I’m almost ready to rock" project.

Ian Mathers: Roz, if you still haven’t settled on a way to check out Gastr del Sol, I was in a similar position to you and honestly, I found this compilation a pretty welcoming (and broad-ranging) introduction! I haven’t moved on to checking out any of their albums yet, but I have played We Have Dozens of Titles a number of times, and while I’m still experiencing it more as a gestalt than I am picking out specific elements (so I’m not sure how I’d answer Christian’s question at the moment, for example), I find the time just slipping away when I do. I was reading Steven Thomas Erlewine’s newsletter recently where he was discussing this collection and he described Gastr del Sol as “music that changes the temperature of the room,” and I keep coming back to that as an apt description of what I’m experiencing.

Bryon Hayes: I read somewhere that Grubbs’ The Plain Where the Palace Stood is his solo album most similar to his work in Gastr Del Sol. I’m listening to that record now and it actually reminds me of the little Bastro that I’ve heard along with parts of The Serpentine Similar.

Bill Meyer: Gastr Del Sol’s existence corresponded with Grubbs’ time at University of Chicago, where he was getting his PhD. I believe it was in poetry, and the words he wrote for the band’s songs reflect that study.

Christian Carey: I've been having fun poring over David Grubbs’ trilogy of books and guessing which stories might be about Gastr del Sol. He's excellent at being covert, but I would be surprised if they weren't featured in some of his writing.

[kmgkmg]

YES NO MAYBE - JEON WONWOO

word count: 1.7k…

pairing: wonwoo x gn!reader

synopsis: wonwoo sits down for an interview after his pictorial to answer some questions, what he wasn't expecting was you to be the one interviewing him.

genre/s: angst, idol!wonwoo, ex!wonwoo, magazine editor!reader

warnings: none!

rating: pg

a/n: submission for k-label's firsts for everything event! the title and fic are inspired by bae suzy's solo debut with yes no maybe! while the title track is def the biggest inspiration, i relied on all of the mini album since it's one of my absolute favorites of kpop. also leaned into iu's discography a lot and ending scene was another inspiration. thank you @gyusangels and @hwasangelbaby for being the beta readers!

Wonwoo’s steps can be heard against the floor as he enters the studio. People are still shuffling about busily, setting up before the shoot officially starts. Next to the clothing racks, various conceptual pictures are taped all along the wall. He scans the pictures, trying his best to get a grasp of what vibe he had to emulate for the day. 

The continuous clicking sounds of the camera’s shutter rings in Wonwoo’s ears while the flashes of light hurt his eyes. On top of that, the studio booms with loud music to set the mood for the shoot. With each flash, Wonwoo subtly readjusts himself to a new pose. Five outfit changes along with five different hairstyles and makeup looks. Exhausted is an understatement. The shoot proceeds for nearly three hours before finally getting the last shot approved by the magazine’s staff. 

“You were absolutely terrific!” The enthusiastic photographer praises Wonwoo and Wonwoo immediately turns bashful. He’s weak to compliments, especially when the cameras are turned off.  

His manager approaches him with a water bottle and a handheld fan. 

“Are we done for the day then?” Wonwoo asks after sipping and starts to take the uncomfortable jacket off.

His manager avoids his eyes, an indication to Wonwoo that the day was not over. “You still have the Q&A video to film. Their Chief Editor is interviewing you.”

He pats his manager’s shoulder, reassuring him to not worry. “Q&A videos are a breeze! What do you want to grab for lunch afterwards?”

“Today’s weather is perfect for…sushi?” His manager suggests. 

Wonwoo is energized by the thought of eating sushi later on. “Now that you have motivated me, this interview will be done in no time!”

“Chief Editor L/N!” One of your employees greets you, making the others aware of your presence. You are distracted by the conversation on your phone and briefly greet the employees before finishing the phone call. 

Wonwoo is already waiting at the table that the staff set up, but his eyes dart up as he looks for you. He knew you worked at Vogue, but Vogue is a huge company. He never expected that he’d run into you like this, nearly a year after you dumped him. 

You sit behind the camera wordlessly, pulling your laptop out of your work bag. Straightening your posture on the chair, you double check that the camera is recording. “Seventeen’s Wonwoo, thank you for joining us today.” 

He’s thrown off by your extremely professional behavior. Nobody knew about your past relationship besides Seventeen, but you were treating him like a complete stranger. His initial shock dies down, but it's clear on his face that he’s experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions from your presence.  

His words spill out thoughtlessly, “So, you’ve been promoted to Chief Editor?”

You exchange glances with the staff around you, all looking back at you with quizzical expressions. Double-checking the flashing red dot on the camera, you reply curtly. “Yes, I’ve been Chief Editor for about seven months. Usually the managing editor conducts the interviews, but he had a family emergency today. We’re deeply sorry that we weren’t able to inform you sooner.”  

“No need to apologize!” Wonwoo replies, becoming aware of his surroundings once again. Flashing a wide smile to the camera, he turns on his idol persona. Staff around the studio begin gushing about his kind behavior as you look for which fan questions to read. 

“Do you have any plans on releasing any more videos or photos for Carats?”

“I plan to hold a traveling exhibition of my photography early next year! I can’t give too much away right now, but Carats will definitely love it.” 

A smile crept onto your face, glad that the ideas he bounced off of you were coming to fruition. “Do the members still ask you to take their pictures a lot?”

He blinks his eyes rapidly, surprised at your memory. “Yes, they do! At this point, DK, The8, and I are practically the assigned Instagram photographers in the group.”

You nod, and prepare yourself to read the next comment. “Ballad lover, Jeon Wonwoo! I love your music taste so much! What song have you been hooked on lately?”

“I’ve mentioned IU a lot in the past since her music means a lot to me. Luckily, Carats really enjoyed my cover of her song Knees. These days, I’ve been listening to The Visitor by her. The melody is very catchy and the instrumental is stripped back which adds a special layer of sentimentality to the track. I especially love the lyrics for the hook. ‘Why do I still love you? Why do I sing about you? Why do I still wait for you?  Babe I love you.’” He responds, purposefully looking away from the camera and instead having his eyes fixate on you. 

His longing gaze goes unnoticed by you as you type a note to the video editor to add IU’s in song during post production. “Wonwoo, I’m addicted to books like you! Which books are the most newly purchased in your library?”

“Book Park Lounge had a sale a week ago! I bought about eight new books? Greek Lessons by the author Han Kang has been insanely interesting so far. Although the novel came out in April, it was sold out in all of the bookstores around me immediately. Please, check it out if you enjoy books about the beauty of humanity. My rambling isn’t doing the book justice, just know that once you pick the book up, you won’t be able to put it down.”

You memorize the book’s title, secretly missing the reading lists he would make you. “Any recent activities you did with the members that you can share?”

Wonwoo takes a second to think, lightly tapping his fingers on the table’s surface. “Me and Minghao went to a tea tasting and blending workshop. I’ve recently been more interested in tea, so he suggested that I tag along with him. It was a really rewarding time, I got exposure to a lot of new flavors!”

“Since you made your own tea blend, do you have any tips for people that follow your steps and try making their own blends?”

“Great question!” He compliments, turning silent as he thinks of the best universally liked ingredient. “Dried rose petals are my recommendation. They are easy to add to any tea blend in my opinion, plus, the quantity that you add can customize how much you want the flavor to stand out. Minghao would probably recommend others’ first experience with tea to be a tea ceremony instead. I’ve done both and the ceremonies tend to focus on patience and maintaining steady hands.”

Hesitating to move on to the next question, you review your coworker’s email with the prewritten questions. “Do we have to ask every question here?” 

Wonwoo tilts his head in confusion, “Why not?”

“Very well. Wonwoo, have you ever regretted letting go of something or someone?” 

“Yes.” His immediate reply causes his manager to approach you and ask for it to be edited out. Wonwoo sees the interaction and tries his best to fix his mistake. “Actually, no… Well, maybe? At the time, I found myself asking a lot, what does my heart actually want? It’s strange, isn’t it? I mean how humans don’t understand their hearts at times. But by the time I realized what I wanted, it was far too late. So yes, I’m full of regret.”  

You look back at his manager, whose mouth is slightly agape over Wonwoo’s candid answer. Picking up on the manager’s flustered state, you skip to the last question. “What are your plans for the rest of the year?”

He tries his best to sound energetic again, “Well, Seventeen always tries to be as active as we can! Although a little less than half of the year is left, we will meet you very soon with new music and performances!” 

“Can you do the outro?”

“See you all next time! Subscribe, like, and comment to Vogue’s YouTube channel!” Wonwoo waves goodbye with both hands and you stand up to turn off the camera. 

He walks over to you as he stretches his arms. “Can we think about us again?”

You continue fidgeting with the camera and say in a low voice, “Wonwoo. Stop saying, let’s think about it again. You know better than anyone that we probably wouldn't last a day.”

“But, Y/N, life without you isn’t the same…” His eyes turn desperate. More eyes are on the two of you, unaware that you were so deeply acquainted with one another.  

“Follow me.” You excuse yourself from the studio with Wonwoo listening to your words.

He has a hopeful glint to his eyes now, biting down on his lip to contain his excitement. He’s at a complete loss of how to predict what you’re going to say. 

You’re shaking from the anger of his unprofessionalism. Wonwoo realizes your emotions and his face turns solemn. 

“What is with you today, Wonwoo? It’s obvious we’ll hurt each other again, so stop saying you can’t live without me. Please, just meet someone who will love you more than I did.” 

He looks down at his feet and mumbles, “You act like that is an easy task, Y/N.” 

“Wonwoo, I’m with someone else now. You’re the one that wanted us to date quietly and we broke up just as quietly. Now, let go of me quietly.” You request, not once faltering in front of him. 

Without giving him time to respond, you walk back towards the studio’s doors and hold one open for him. His feet move without him thinking, trudging back into the studio. 

His manager is talking to the photographer about which photos should be excluded from the final cut. Once he notices Wonwoo's return, he finishes the conversation effortlessly. 

“Ready for some sushi?”

Wonwoo takes one last look in your direction and sees you engrossed in your work as employees crowd you. Yes, he misses you more than anything. But no, he knows that you don’t feel the same. So maybe, it���s time for him to follow your wishes and let go of you. 

He clears his throat. “Yeah, let’s go.”

[schismusic]

Joy Division, or: how I learned to stop worrying and love New Order, too

Spring is weird as hell because one time you have this glaring sun that powers you up like being plugged into a wall outlet, then not five minutes later clouds begin to gather and you feel like you're going to die if anything goes south. So the most obvious combination to represent two sides of this same coin, emotional and meteorological, is Joy Division and New Order.

Sometimes you need Transmission or Shadowplay for the sunny days — impassioned jolts, sparks flying everywhere. Sometimes The Perfect Kiss hits harder on a cloudy afternoon, coming back home and in need of that extra push to not fall asleep in the train. It's surprising to realize the versatility displayed by both bands, or the same band in two different iterations according to whomever you ask. Peter Hook says, as late as 1993, that the laziest member of New Order is Ian Curtis. Or again this other person, in the comments under the Atmosphere official video on YouTube, who went to see New Order (Hooky-less New Order, which might be a relevant distinction) at the O2 Arena a couple of years ago and they gave an encore, says "Those of us who stayed got the privilege of watching Joy Division perform three of their songs". Interesting outlook on the matter. I personally saw Peter Hook and the Light play both Joy Division records and, I'm pretty sure, an encore comprised of just Love Will Tear Us Apart at the Arti Vive Festival in Soliera, back when it was still free to attend some of the events. I remember being pretty mad that Hooky had stopped to take pics with basically everyone and then left exactly as I was approaching. In retrospect I don't exactly blame the man, it was like midnight anyway. I remember nothing of the back trip home.

My first contact with Joy Division happened when I was thirteen and very much in my prog era. I was in Rome staying at an aunt of mine's place for my fourteenth birthday and she told me I could get a CD, since I had gotten some money saved up over time. Some Facebook page dedicated to Pink Floyd I'd liked (yeah, Facebook at age thirteen — I literally just wanted to play a fucking Flash game, back when Facebook allowed them, and I ended up getting to be terminally online. Crazy how things turn out) used to share a lot of memes and fanart relating to the Unknown Pleasures album cover, and me being a massive Pink Floyd head at the time I thought "I mean, if these guys are pushing this band so hard, that's gotta mean something". The album cover was pretty striking, admittedly: a far cry from the paisley ass paintings that I had grown to accept as the gold standard for the music I liked, but its simplicity struck a chord closer to The Dark Side of the Moon, or perhaps The Wall. Those were records I liked a lot, probably called them "the best records ever made" to more than one person, not like they aren't but that's a very bold statement to make when your listening experience consists exactly of

Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor when I was six;

Daft Punk's complete discography (minus Random Access Memories, which wasn't out yet) when I was twelve;

Pink Floyd's complete discography, courtesy of a CD collection coming out with some Italian newspaper, that same year;

a couple random classic rock records recommended to me by older friends and relatives usually well into their fifties or sixties at the time, random people on Internet forums — which, for clarification, I did not actively attend, preferring to just lurk from time to time — and the OndaRock "milestones" page.

So browsing through the surprisingly expansive CDs section of this electronics shop in Rome, and being mesmerized by a vinyl rack in the days when Music on Vinyl was the final frontier of pretending you could re-analogue the digital ("you mean to tell me these are like CDs, but bigger? Whoever designed these truly lived in the future"), I came across that very same album art that had stricken me so hard. I had listened to the first seconds of the album on YouTube, but that weird drum sound — so echoey, so distant, ultimately not particularly powerful, meaning it didn't really sound like Bonzo: it sounded more like my own band, which at the time didn't even exist yet — I didn't really know what to make of. This store I was in had one of those preview listening machines that would scan the barcode on the CDs and give you a small snippet of the song. I pull the CD up to the scanner, the scanner lights up green, I put on the headphones and the solo from this comes up:

Clearly they had to be kidding me. I had come to know, sneaking into infinitely many rehearsals with the band from my mother's town, what it sounded like when someone tried to play lead without something else filling up the arrangement (even though I didn't really know all that, or at least lacked the vocabulary to properly express it) and, for Christ's sake, didn't these guys notice rehearsing? It sounded empty, weirdly so, and it wasn't my thing, I thought. I put that CD away and picked up a band I knew I'd like — Genesis, specifically. So Nursery Cryme became the first CD I've ever paid with my own money, the very day I turned fourteen. Not a bad pickup. I remember being very impressed with the fast blurring lead guitar on The Musical Box and digging the sweet pastoral atmospheres of For Absent Friends and Harlequin. I still think of that record more often than one would probably assume looking at this blog, or my most played on Spotify. At the time, that was the best move I could take, really: why beat my head against a record that, as your average prog nerd ballbreaker, simply wasn't speaking to me?

Then all of a sudden in August of the same year my friend's dad hands me a 16 gigabyte USB drive, full of random music from all eras of rock. A lot of it remains inscrutable to me for a really long time, most notably Tom Waits (see related post), but I spent the whole month reading random folder names, seeing if something catches my eyes, and at one point I come across the Mars Volta. Open the folder up, read the names of their first three records, and my first thought is "Christ, these guys look incomprehensible. I'm about to have some fun". Long story short: I end up having a lot of fun, the Mars Volta turns into my favourite band at the time and finding out that they had previously been called At the Drive-In makes me gain some measure of respect for punk rockers: if they tried hard enough, I must've thought, they could prog as hard as anyone. In the meantime the ghost of Joy Division remains at the back of my head. I feel like I'm missing something, for the first time in my life: it's not them, it's me. Too bad that same realization didn't occur to me when it came to the people in my life until much, much later, but that's being fourteen for you I suppose. Early King Crimson and the Mars Volta were the pinnacle of violence to me, and not even the very few Metallica songs I'd downloaded just to see what would happen scratched that itch. It felt a bit too cauterized for some reason (I would later find out I had been looking in the wrong direction the whole time: the Black Album "sucked", according to my favourite metalhead of the time, who somehow catalyzed my interest from the very second I saw him in the school's courtyard. Hard to imagine why I would imprint on people like puppies do, but what the fuck, not like I've ever outgrown that anyway, I've just gotten better at managing it). But I felt there was more than violence to this, or different forms of violence. When Christmas came around and my relatives tried to get me presents, my mother asked if there was anything specific I was interested in, and I basically told her "look, if they can get me some CDs off of this list, I'm golden". It had some bangers on it, namely Noctourniquet by the Mars Volta — it's one of their best and I will die on this hill, be warned — and The Downward Spiral, which might as well warrant its own post in an ideal world. But the best of them all I think came from a random purchase, once again with the little money I had lying around at the time.

Closer appears to be, right away, a bit more concrete, and if there's something inexperienced music fans like is a pretty packaging that conjures a strong emotional response before they've even played the record. Compare a color-inverted graph of pulsar emissions to a literal funerary monument. Opening up the booklet I was shocked to see that Genesis was used as a negative point of comparison (bad omen, I thought) by people close to the band, and I came across much more detailed information about Ian Curtis's untimely demise — at that time, something far too removed from my experience to be faced with the delicacy and attention it deserves. Atrocity Exhibition hits like a ten-ton truck, a reference which at the time I wouldn't have been able to make for obvious reasons, and Isolation exposes all the nerve tissue under the skin. Passover comes in and strips everything even barer, and then A Means to an End turns… danceable, for some reason? Big emotional moment with The Eternal and Decades, which I thought actually took them closer to my usual tastes. And yet at the same time I kept looking at Colony, Heart and Soul and Twenty Four Hours as the most compelling cuts. Geometric assault sounding like sheet metal if it were music; rhythmically driven emptiness that serves as a minimal backdrop for depressed poetry, and finally a rocking ebb-and-flow that would probably inform a lot of my interest in GY!BE-like post-rock in the coming years. Very interesting to think that the same guys who'd done Unknown Pleasures could think of this. To this day, when asked, I still do think that Closer is the best Joy Division record, but what does it even mean when the records are exactly two, compilations notwithstanding?

It was around this time that it came to my attention that both Joy Division and another band called New Order had a record called Substance out, both published by the same recording company, both coming out within a year of each other. Looking it up, it turns out it's fully intentional, because New Order is simply Joy Division minus Ian Curtis. It would turn out to be a tad bit more complex than that. Anyway, I look New Order up and kind of have to do a double-take. Synthpop? In my Joy Division? More likely than you'd think, considering Isolation exists. But yeah, that sort of seals it — I wouldn't care about this New Order for a million years. Until all of a sudden a couple of years later David Sylvian bursts like a comet in my face, which of course leads me straight to Japan, the same year as I'd come across Berlin-era Bowie, and you can probably guess where this is going, right?

Well, you'd be wrong. I still don't check out New Order. There's a whole new world open to me — vaporwave and therefore R Plus Seven come to my attention, which leads me to dissect that record like an alien tool of unclear purposes. This of course leads me onto an ambient tangent, taking me back to my Tim Hecker listens of that same year, which has the effect of renewing my interest in "pure" electronic music and the then-rising post-dubstep movement. The sheer experience of sound, the dazzling modernity and innovation, is what's in at the time. I have no time for nostalgia-pandering dimwits: the future awaits. Then all that jazz from the first Godflesh post hits, then God pulls the funniest gag in the history of viral infections to my memory, and I have some time to actually look back, a bit less prejudiced. As it turns out, synthpop is not the devil, as some of you might have surmised by now, and as I relisten to Blue Monday I realized I have never listened to either of the Substance record. I do know some, most perhaps?, of the tracks on the Joy Division one, and I do think the New Order one has the more striking cover art — not to mention I knew, by this time, that this was the one to give Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance its name, and that Your Silent Face soundtracked one of the most memorable moments in Nicolas Winding Refn's Bronson. As the ultimate Hideo Kojima stan, I couldn't let this slide, so I pop the record on and get hit with this:

Way to go, guys. Holy shit. I knew that Ceremony was a Joy Division cut before they could record it, but what the hell — Bernard got it, too. It wasn't a matter of singing ability with songs like these, it's just getting it, finding the right energy. They had that right energy. And then it hit me just as many times these dudes have made Blue Monday over and over again before actually getting it right, and everytime I look into it it's funnier and funnier to realize just how many different attempts it took them to finally be Kraftwerk, but augmented — with the stellar results we all know. Everything's Gone Green, 5 8 6, Temptation potentially, all lead up to this one moment in the history of dance music where somehow three dudes and a girl hailing from Manchester managed to out-gay the Pet Shop Boys (by their own admission, apparently), to shake the whole world's collective booty, to do whatever it is they were supposed to do in this last comparison that would ideally make the previous one a bit less obnoxious but whatever, it's 3am as usual, you know how it goes by now don't you? But then after Blue Monday the record keeps going, and thank god it does, because it's banger after banger. How do these guys keep doing it?

So I spend some time with that record, then it fades down, then it comes back up last month, when the weather calls for it and its parent company. Which is when I find myself watching the Control movie for the first time, surprisingly enough seeing as I already enjoyed the work of Anton Corbijn as a photographer. Looking at all that, it is revealed to me that Joy Division never really having died is not a bug, it's a feature. Everyone is gasping, I get it, but please pick your jaws up and check this out: the band has never learned how to play their respective instruments. One might go so far as to argue they play their own stuff their own way, and that's basically it. Nothing could be further from the truth. These guys jammed, a lot; that's how Joy Division wrote songs, that's how New Order wrote songs, even going as far as having Bernard Sumner fucked up on acid so he could find the chorus to Temptation or the whole band bombed out of their minds on X in Ibiza clubs to write, basically, the entirety of Technique — and even then, not really, there's a couple jangly tracks that the X would most likely render unlistenable but what do I really know? Point being: it might now have been sparked by a music teacher or instructor, it might not have been the product of a process comparable to that within Television, which led them to organically seek out better, more "by the book" musicianship, but New Order were incredibly familiar with their instruments, had formed an element of comfort and understanding that counterbalanced the alien-ness to music terminology.

Peter Hook recently uploaded a Yamaha-sponsored video to his Instagram, which I am pretty sure has a say in running, where he jams on a Yamaha bass and, you know, it sounds like Hooky alright, but it's never a discernible bassline until he kicks into the A major strumming that opens Love Will Tear Us Apart. Before that, he just strolls around the neck, leisurely strumming away at power chords imbued with that thick chorus and reverb combo he became renowned for. I would never, in my wildest dreams, have imagined I'd find myself thinking "okay, awesome, stop talking — I want to hear you jam a bit more" referring to one of the musicians who were part of possibly two of the craziest storiest in the history of contemporary rock'n'roll, also notorious for playing the rockstar whilst carrying the minimum possible baggage of technical knowledge he could. Once again, this is nowhere near a knock to the man — quite the opposite. Ian Curtis asked "persistence, well, what does it matter?", and Hooky (and, of course, the other members of New Order) found a way to constructively answer that question. Moments before Coil, but a bit later than Israel Regardie, they said "persistence is all" and built a brand on finding a way to consistently sound like splendid, eternal, golden children: "like crystal", impassionate, tightly-knit performers with the purity of a child's heart. Ian Curtis had, in certain ways (at least artistically), the purity of a child in his heart, which some might even argue was a distinguishing feature of most of his literary idols — if you think about it, William Burroughs could be your dirty-minded classmate who walked in on his parents sharing an intimate moment in the bedroom (had his parents been gay men, the metaphor would probably fly better, but that most definitely wasn't the case). So the heart of Joy Division remains untouched, if a bit more naked. Heroes of post-punk, sons of the silent age, you can sleep soundly tonight.

[aprillikesthings]

swear to god the amount of time I've spent on this fic that's just looking up release dates of fucking songs/albums like do you KNOW how many times I've had a half dozen tabs open that are just the wikipedia page for [band/person name] discography

because yes I remember that The Beatles' Revolver came out in 1966 but WHEN in 1966, when can I make Adora listen to it while doing homework

for extra-fun points this was back when a lot of music had not only different release dates but the albums had different track lists, between the USA and the UK--American kids had more spending money, on average, than British kids; so American albums tended to be shorter so they could sell the songs as singles and EP's as well. In the case of The Beatles specifically, their really early stuff was across more than one label! Their albums didn't have the same track lists on both sides of the pond until Sgt. Pepper--at that point they insisted on it, and after that the track lists were always the same.

Sgt. Pepper was still released a week later in the USA than in the UK but I wonder if that was like, literally due to the time it took to ship the damn thing across an ocean lolol

Anyway even as an obsessed teenager in the mid-90's I only bothered memorizing the British album names/tracklists, since that's what was released on CD--the singles that weren't on any albums in the UK were released on their own compilations.

I say "bothered memorizing" lol I didn't even do it on purpose it just...happened. I used to be able to just recite the UK full-length albums in order of release.

Wait can I still do it?

Please Please Me, With the Beatles, A Hard Day's Night, ...I'm missing one I think?..., Help!, Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Magical Mystery Tour, Yellow Submarine, The White Album, Abbey Road, Let it Be (hah those last two always trip me up bc they were released in a different order than they were recorded)

Okay let me look and see if I fucked up

OH RIGHT the one I missed was Beatles for Sale. To be fair that album has a lot of...less good songs on it. Though it does have Eight Days a Week on it, which is one of my FAVES. And I got Yellow Submarine and the White Album in the wrong order. (To be fair, Yellow Submarine was mostly "leftovers" from recording Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour; the White Album is a totally different style)

ANYWAY this was SUPPOSED to be a post about writing my fic lol god I spent all of yesterday going "I need to write....I need to write...." but couldn't get any words down, until I watched a chunk of Monterey Pop on youtube and then voila, words fell into the gdoc. The funny thing is that I know I just recently reblogged a post that was like "if you're stuck, write or at least imagine things later in the story" and I keep refusing to let myself do that even thought it keeps working when I give up and do it. Because of course it's by writing things that happen later that I figure out how to approach scenes that happen earlier!

But also at this point, their senior year is going to be two or three chapters!, and "Catra hitch-hikes to SF" is going to be an entire chapter by itself. My actual chapter listings in the doc are unintentionally hilarious because at this point it's going to be, like, twice as many chapters as I was planning. 😩

That said I think I only need a couple more scenes before this upcoming chapter is finally done? But at this rate, by the time they graduate high school the rest of the fic will be basically done hahhhhh

[prdxinvadcr-a]

best  known  for  being  the  first  boy  group  under  GLASSHOUSE,  PARADOX  INVASION  (  파라독스  인베이젼  )  –  or  PRDX  (  피아르디액스  )  –  is  a  fictional  seven-member  group  that  debuted  under  the  company  in  2019.  known  as  GLASSBOYS  during  their  pre-debut  era,  the  members  (  YOHAN,  DOHYUN,  LIGHT,  ADRIEN,  DASHI,  CHASE,  and  KOI  )  would  release  a  single,  FROZEN  NIGHT,  seven months  before  their  official  debut  in  march  the  next  year.  despite  releasing  a  great  pre-debut  track,  PRDX  upset  many  people  for  debuting  with  TO  THE  SKY,  which  fans  call  ‘THE  MOST  DISAPPOINTING  DEBUT  SONG  EVER,’  most  ignoring  the  song  and  pretending  it  never  existed.

a  year  after  their  official  debut,  DOHYUN  would  abruptly  leave  the  company,  filing  a  lawsuit  for  negligence  and  mistreatment  during  his  time  as  a  member  of  the  group.  it  would  take  another  year  of  battling  and  PRDX  going  on  hiatus  for  most  of  it  before  GLASSHOUSE  reported  they  won  the  case.  a  month  after,  the  group  released  an  sudden  special  video  on  youtube,  featuring  YOHAN,  DASHI,  KOI    –  and  what  seems  to  be  the  new  member  –  titled  13TH  MONTH,  released  on  the  13th  month  since  the  group’s  hiatus  began.  the  music  video  attracted  lots  of  attention  because  of  the  anonymous  member  that  the  company  didn’t  officially  introduce,  which  earned  him  the  nickname  MEMBER  X.  GLASSHOUSE  released  an  article  later  that  month,  announcing  that  the  group  was  officially  out  of  the  hiatus  with  the  release  of  an  ep,  PUZZLE  PIECE,  featuring  the  13TH  MONTH  and  two  other  songs;  KILLIN’  ME  and  LIGHT  ME  UP,  which  were  sung  in  chinese  and  japanese. 

PRDX’s  comeback  soon  after  was  with  a  mini  album  WAKE  UP  WORLD  that  many  fans  considered  different  from  their  usual  cyberpunk  sound.  despite  reaching  a  global  audience,  the  group  received  only  three  wins  with  THE  GUERRILLAZ  &  BUMP  IT  UP  throughout  their  6-week  promotions  due  to  fans  disliking  the  group’s  new  sound.  it  was  also  when  MEMBER  X  finally  revealed  himself  as  DAMIAN  KANG,  also  going  by  his  stage  name  :  MIKEY,  and  announced  his  position  as  the  main  dancer,  lead  rapper  and  face  of  the  group.  after  much  prodding  and  stalking,  fans  uncovered  the  truth  that  DAMIAN  is  the  younger  brother  of  STUPID  CUPID’s  TOMIE,  a  girl  group  under  GLASSHOUSE’s  subsidiary.  this  created  a  divide  in  the  group’s  fandom  where  half  felt  like  he  was  receiving  favouritism  from  the  company,  while  the  other  half  wanted  him  to  stay  a  member  because  of  his  talents.  since  coming  back  from  a  hiatus,  PRDX  developed  a  habit  of  releasing  two-sided  albums.  first  side,  named  as  SIDE  A,  would  include  more  edm  and  noise  title  tracks,  while  the  second  side,  SIDE  B,  would  focus  more  on  the  refreshing  sounds,  accompanied  with  y2k  vibes.  these  days,  fans  have  gotten  used  to  PRDX having  noise  music  incorporated  into  their  sci-fi  /  retro  concept,  and  as  of  2022,  PARADOX  INVASION  managed  to  somehow  combine  their  old,  cyberpunk,  sound  with  a  new  concept  approach,  further  confusing  the  fans  yet  intriguing  them  enough  to  give  them  a  chance  to  show  their  best. 

⸝⸝ 　 BASIC  INFO  ! 

GROUP  NAME  ˳ ⠀⠀⠀ paradox  invasion  /  prdx

COMPANY  ˳ ⠀⠀⠀ glasshouse  inc.

DEBUT  DATE  ˳ ⠀⠀⠀ march  27th,  2019 

DEBUT  SINGLE  ˳ ⠀⠀⠀ to  the  sky  

CONCEPT  ˳ ⠀⠀⠀ cyberpunk,  sci-fi,  noise  music,  game  /  retro,  y2k,  versatile 

GREETING  ˳ ⠀⠀⠀ “  flip  the  record,  play  the  tunes!  hello,  we  are  paradox  invasion!  ” 

FANDOM  NAME  ˳ ⠀⠀⠀ endgame 

FANDOM  COLOURS  ˳ ⠀⠀⠀ shocking  blue  (  #3bbcc2  )  ,  shamrock  (  #1ccca5  )  &  hot  red  tears  (  #ef335a  ) 

⸝⸝ 　 MEMBERS  ! 

lee  YOHAN  (  1997  ) 

han  ,  LIGHT  ,  byul  (  1998  ) 

ADRIEN  hong  (  1999  ) 

dai  ,  DASHI  ,  shiwei  (  1999  ) 

damian  ,  MIKEY  ,  kang  (  2000  ) 

CHASE  park  (  2000  ) 

watanabe  ,  KOI  ,  niko  (  2001  ) 

yoon  ,  DOHYUN  ,  donghyun  (  1998  ) 

⸝⸝ 　 DISCOGRAPHY  ! 

FROZEN  NIGHT  ˳  FROZEN  NIGHT  ›  pre-debut  single  ❪  2018  ❫

TO  THE  SKY  ˳  TO  THE  SKY  ›  debut  single  ❪  2019  ❫

STAGE  BREAKERS  ˳  BIGGEST  HIT  ›  mini  album  ❪  2019  ❫

BREAK  THE  LIMITS  ˳  DREAM  IN  A  DREAM  ›  re-packaged  album  ❪  2020  ❫

EDGERUNNERS  ˳  RPM  ›  mini  album  ❪  2020  ❫ 

PUZZLE  PIECE  ˳  13TH  MONTH  ›  special  ep  ❪  2021  ❫

WAKE  UP  WORLD  ˳  THE  GUERRILLAZ  +  BUMP  IT  UP!  ›  mini  album  ❪  2022  ❫ 

SCENE  STEALERS   ˳  MAKE  IT  BOUNCY  +  BEATBOX  ›  mini  album  ❪  2022  ❫ 

BACK  TO  OUR  DAYS  ˳  BACK  DOWN  +  PAY  ATTENTION  ›  mini  album  ❪  2022  ❫ 

INTO  THE  90s  ˳  GAME  OVER  +  KICK  IT  4  NOW  ›  re-packaged  album  ❪  2023  ❫ 

PLAYER  SELECT  ˳  DOING  BIG  THINGS  +  I’M  THE  ONE  ›  full  album  ❪  2023  ❫ 

SHOW  ME  LOVE  ˳  SHOW  ME  LOVE  ›  special  ep  ❪  2024  ❫

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

reverse unpopular opinion on john's solo career? 👀

hi hellooooooooooo

I feel like to some extent John's solo career gets a bit unfairly maligned because of three or four very cringe songs. A thing I enjoy about it is I feel like he did approach every album differently and try to bring something new to the table. I think there's a bunch of hidden gems throughout his discography that deserve more in depth discussion. A lot of his melodies are sweet and joyful and beautiful and it does him a disservice to only look at his lyrics, I feel (and vice versa holds for Paul). I also think Mind Games and Walls And Bridges, which he produced on his own, have a lot of cool sounds on them!!!

Double Fantasy is a co-favourite post-Beatles album to me and it actually upsets me so much that, of all places for John's career to be abruptly cut off, that that's the album. On the one hand I'm so thankful I have it, on the other it just makes me so excited for a continuation I never got to witness. (okay and also I am upset about All That because of John as a human being first and foremost. I hope that goes without saying, but I just want to make it clear here)

:)))

[kylieswift31]

Benjamin Button

“Sometimes growing up precious means not growing up at all” -but daddy I love him

Benjamin Button’s journey through life is unlike anyone else’s and Taylor’s journey to reclaim her music has occurred in much the same way. But perhaps Taylor’s not the only one on that journey?

Benjamin Button meets Daisy Fuller at a point in his life where they are the same age on the inside but he looks much older on the outside. They share a magnetic connection that is hindered by their differences, but over time fate brings them back together over and over again. And just like the moon eclipses the sun, Benjamin and Daisy share a small portion of their life together as a couple at the peak of their adulthood. As they both approach the end of their lives Daisy comforts and cares for Benjamin until he finally passes away. The passage of time is an overarching theme in Benjamin's story because every time he began to gain footing in any particular chapter of his life, those around him entered into the same chapter of their lives that Benjamin had just left behind. In turn his connection to those his own age is fleeting in contrast to his ongoing bond with Daisy.

The concept of time is something we've seen repeated throughout Taylor's discography and music videos too. There have been so many theories on how to interpret the clocks Taylor has used throughout the years, but what if we were supposed to compare it to the lifecycle of the butterfly? After all, butterflies were included on the cover for Taylor's debut album. If so, her discography can be broken down into two halves with debut - reputation representing the life cycle of the caterpillar and lover - TTPD representing the lifecycle of the butterfly as it emerges from the cocoon and enters into adulthood. Many see the lover era as the failed coming out period of her life, but I can't help but wonder if it was intended to be a soft launch for those who could pick up on her queer flagging. Even if this wasn't her original plan, taking her time has made this current phase of her career all the more impactful. And just like the caterpillar goes through a process of metamorphosis to become a butterfly, Taylor had to learn how to walk before she could learn how to fly.

There are a few quotes from the director of the Miss Americana documentary in Taylor's variety interview from 2020 discussing the political themes as "a portrait of the birth of an activist". It makes sense that testing the waters by coming out in a political sense was a necessary step towards coming out as queer after Taylor had spent her career staying silent on political issues. When looking back at old interviews it became evident that keeping her opinions to herself prompted the interviewer to fill in the blank space of their unanswered questions by sharing who they wanted Taylor to be instead. Many ended up reaffirming the expectation for her to set a good example for young girls with her Christian values, to not follow in the footsteps of 'going off the rails' like Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan and the hopes they had for her to settle down by becoming a stay at home mother and wife in the future. Interviews like this were common in the red era when Taylor was beginning to be seen as a young woman for the first time. Staying silent allowed others to assume that she was on their side, but deep down it was also a survival instinct to protect her burgeoning career.

“I saw how one comment ended such a powerful reign, and it terrified me,” says Swift. “These days, with social media, people can be so mad about something one day and then forget what they were mad about a couple weeks later. That’s fake outrage. But what happened to the Dixie Chicks was real outrage. I registered it — that you’re always one comment away from being done being able to make music.” -Taylor Swift

And now that the eras tour is about to come to a close it feels like we're on the precipice of change. It's been difficult to articulate what's been occurring lately because it's evident that many overlapping narratives that had coexisted at once are now fighting for dominance. When Taylor adopted her third cat she named him Benjamin Button to represent going back in time to reclaim her past albums, but it also feels like she was referencing the contrasting life and death cycles between Benjamin and Daisy. When we compare Benjamin with Taylor's other cats Olivia and Meredith it becomes clear that he completes the characters in the fictional love triangle. There's Olivia as Taylor, Meredith as her muse (either her real muse, another version of Taylor or the pronouns of the muse in her lyrics) and Benjamin as Taylor™. Just like Benjamin Button's character, Taylor™ is growing younger as the rerecords are released and this journey will be complete once Taylor owns all of her music. In contrast Taylor and her muse are following Daisy's lifecycle combined with the metamorphosis of the butterfly life cycle. Once the death of Taylor™ occurs, Taylor and her muse will complete the rebirth cycle of the caterpillar by reemerging as butterflies by revealing their true selves to the public.

The divide between the swifties and gaylors has solidified over the last couple of months as everyone has essentially picked sides between Taylor and Taylor™. Just like a labyrinth differs from a maze because there is only one path of travel, Taylor is on a journey that only has one destination: coming out once and for all and creating positive change for others while she’s at it. The swifties believe that they're right and we're wrong because they've seen Taylor™ as the butterfly without realising that she was aging backwards like Benjamin Button. They haven't picked up on the signs that Taylor™ has emerged from the chrysalis as a caterpillar. On the other hand the gaylors are on the right track because we saw the signs that Taylor was a caterpillar concealing her truth in her lyrics and now we're witnessing the original version of Taylor emerging from the chrysalis as a glorious butterfly.

It feels like this transformation is both an ongoing process and a journey building up to a finale. The queer flagging over the years has been enough for many of us to accept that Taylor has already come out to those who could see it, while understanding that she’s drawing attention to the facade so that others can see it for themselves. This begins with understanding that Taylor has been the unreliable narrator of her own story, and at the same time has played into the role of the “one night or a wife” stereotypes that the public have made assumptions about over the years. So many people cling to this image of Taylor and the fact that she referred to herself as an ally once without considering that there is so much more evidence that suggests that Taylor lied about being an ally to conceal her truth from the majority of the public. And the dichotomy between Taylor and Taylor™ has increased with the new surprise song dresses. This feels like definitive proof that Taylor is queer regardless of which label she identifies with, and that the rainbow aesthetic isn’t just a thing of the past. This is more than enough proof for me, but it also feels like we're now on the precipice of big changes that will lead to undeniable proof in some form so that everyone else can see it. It currently feels like there are four different versions of Taylor, but at the end of the day only one of them is the real Taylor's version.

Lastly I'd like to finish up by comparing Taylor's journey towards midnight (rebirth cycle and butterfly lifecycle reaching completion) with both the mechanisms of a clock and the map of the solar system. When the planets orbit the sun they each take different lengths of time to complete a full loop in the same way the hands of a clock return to 12am or 12pm each time they complete a full loop. There are many measures of time in flux once we begin to add in the three different hands on the clock that all have their own cycles, just like the planets circling the sun.

Hours, minutes, seconds 🪞 days, months, years.

If we replace the planets with these measures of time we begin to see that there are many versions of midnight occurring . Taylor would be on the inner rings leading the way with a trail of Easter eggs and queer flagging. Followed by a mixture of the gaylors who have been around for years and those of us who have become gaylors more recently. We all go through our own personal experience of meeting Taylor at midnight when we begin to pick up on the queer flagging and then continue to loop around as we continue to learn more as time goes on. The next ring would represent those who are just starting to pick up on the queer flagging now that Taylor has become bolder than ever before. This is why Taylor has recreated examples with her current relationship, she wants them to be able to understand her journey in their own way. And finally the outer ring represents the rest who won't accept anything less than a formal coming out. This outer ring represents the finale of the final midnight before the next cycle begins again. And yet the hands of a clock don’t stop when they reach midnight, they continue through the cycle over and over again. It’s possible that Taylor has something big planned for the finale, but at the end of the day she’s still the same person she’s always been.

As a fellow millennial it would be remiss of me to not mention the exiled planet from the 90’s: Pluto. The planet that’s not a planet, but once was a planet, but is not considered a planet anymore... I could go on but my point is that the planet Pluto isn’t the only thing that’s missing, Taylor’s cat Meredith is missing too. “For Meredith, self quarantining is a way of life. Be like Meredith.” -insta caption from 2020. Taylor has recently posted both Benjamin and Olivia on her Instagram page, but Meredith hasn’t been seen since her photo appeared on the tortured poets department bulletin board. This feels like a great reminder that just because we don’t see her (or Taylor’s muse), that doesn’t mean that she’s not there. An unreliable narrator draws your attention away from the truth by focusing on the distraction in the hopes that you won’t notice what’s missing. Taylor has distracted us with the completion of the re-records and the fictional love triangle (Benjamin and Olivia) so that we wouldn’t notice that her muse was hiding in the shadows (Meredith). Just like Taylor is trying to convince the majority that her current relationship is real, she seems to be doing the same thing with Betty in the fictional love triangle. The way she describes Betty and James ending up together sounds an awful lot like “my boyfriend Travis!”. Taylor wants us to focus on Betty so that we won’t look elsewhere. And to tie it back to the curious case of Benjamin Button, Taylor™ (Benjamin) is the third wheel in the fictional love triangle and Taylor and her muse are both Daisy (Olivia and Meredith). In the end revealing which muse Meredith represents will be the finale of the finale. After all it’s not the tortured poet department, it’s the tortured poets department because there’s more than one tortured poet.

There’s two. ✌🏼

“I’m setting off, but not without my muse”

"And sometimes there’s no proof, you just know”

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Different Worlds E.P. Vol. 1 1999 Deep House

Decent late 90s deep house 12-inch here from Toronto-based house label 83 West Records. The commenters on Discogs seem to be all about "Burn It" by New England's Osheen, but I'm finding myself a lot more partial to a pair of others instead: "The Epilogue" by Kerri Chandler and "Solid Ground" by Eddie Matos, both of which were exclusive to this record and this record alone.

Kerri Chandler ended up dropping a whole lot of music in 1999, and with his contribution here being called "The Epilogue," I think it's safe to assume that this banger was a follow-up track to his prior 12-inch on 83 West, which, if the sequencing of catalog numbers in the label's own discography line up, appears to have been released just before this EP itself.

And what we have with this particular tune is a steady and more than sturdy groover with a Tortoise mentality that manages to win over by deploying no flash, tricks, or gimmicks above its rocking, snare-heavy backbeat. A real frog-in-a-boiling-pot-of-water-type of situation as you listen to this one, because Kerri starts off relatively sparse, and thus his vision is not made immediately clear; but by taking a slow and methodical approach to his own building, he's gradually able to get to where he needs to go. And it might take around half of this entire tune for him to really get *somewhere*, but trust me, when he does, what follows is totally worth it 🔥.

And I'm a lot less philosophical on Eddie Matos' contribution. He's probably far better known for his work as one half of the iconic New York deep house duo of Mateo & Matos and their many aliases, but here we find him on the solo tip instead, giving a little taste right before he was set to drop his first release on 83 West itself. This funky cut from him is simply dope because of the splashy bit of sax that he unexpectedly drops in at the 2:20 mark, which then becomes more of a fixture thereafter. And that sax really proves as the most important ingredient of the whole recipe, because this track would end up being left completely bland without it.

So overall, a couple nice and underheard deep house nuggets from a pair of seasoned vets on this little 12-inch from a Canadian label that ended up lasting about a decade.

Highlights:

Matos - "Solid Ground" Kerri Chandler - "The Epilogue"