#diego hargreeves

[ofteaandsparrows]

umbrella academy text posts because season 4 never happened

1/2

[youlooklikedead]

Today I bring to you what the Hargreeves siblings lives would've been like had they never been adopted and grew up in their respective countries and communities. Courtesy of The Commission Handbook: A Complete Commission Guide to Temporal Anomalies.

Luther:

Diego:

Allison:

Klaus:

Five:

Viktor:

Ben:

Lila:

[glitchxs]

So, now that it's over, and I've given everybody enough time to watch all the seasons:

I'm breaking my silence on the numbering system.

If you haven't memorized them,

Number One: Luther Hargreeves

Number Two: Diego Hargreeves

Number Three: Allison Hargreeves

Number Four: Klaus Hargreeves

Number Five

Number Six: Ben Hargreeves

Number Seven: Viktor Hargreeves

Now, since we figured out these numbers, the fandom has been all,

"Oh it's in order of powers! Luther has (or had, as a kid) the best powers! And Viktor is seven because he 'had none'."

"Oh but that doesn't make sense! Ben's power is so much cooler and more lethal than Luther's!"

Bullshit. I'm breaking my silence.

Yes, fandom, you were on the right track.. ish.

These numbers were assigned based on how easy to manipulate each sibling was. These numbers were based on how terrifying, or hilarious, Reginald Hargreeves found each sibling.

Luther was stupid, he was easily toyed with and he would listen to everything his dad said. He was number one because Reginald could do whatever he wanted with him and wasn't at risk of getting attacked or even questioned. Reginald could poke, pry, test, train, whatever he wanted with Luther easily. That's what made him number one.

Viktor, on the other hand, was disobedient. He didn't listen, he wasn't easily manipulated, he killed all the nanny's, he terrified Reginald. Hence, the last thing he could possibly think to do-- because he is a maniac control freak-- was to put a stop to it. He couldn't lose! He has to make Viktor think he's nothing.

You can figure the rest out.

☂️

(Edit: Allison being told to betray her sister and DOING SO!! Five jumping despite Reginald's permission!! Ben not wanting to go on missions!! Come on.)

[clarkgriffon]

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY → The Cleanse

[that-one-super-nova]

「☂︎ 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 ☂︎ 」

𝐩𝐨𝐯 : 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐢��𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐋𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 :

𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐨 :

𝐕𝐢𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐫 :

𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞 :

𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 :

𝐊𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐬 :

𝐁𝐞𝐧 :

[laurrelise]

anyone else feel something when he said this or am i just fucking insane

[mip-map-mop]

Hate how I correctly predicted that Diego and Lila’s relationship would be in trouble 😭 (predicted only because it appeared that David and Ritu broke up)

[xtraordinaryfangrl]

I’m halfway through TUA S4 and honestly?

…

…

…

…

IT IS THAT BAD. I'm not so sure it's GOT S8 bad and yet, it may just end up being a tie once I finish the whole season.

I can count the things I like on one hand, but the rest is just trash for me to recycle and make into something genuinely entertaining (like my Really Random Thoughts series, episodes 3 and 4 to be posted soon 😉) because disrespectfully - what am I watching?

Why are Diego and Lila suddenly bad at communicating with each other?

Where did Dolores - Five’s true love - go?

When did Viktor find the time to learn firebending in between building up his “body count” and running a successful bar?

How is Sparrow!Ben's personality so easily becoming Umbrella!Ben's?

How did Klaus maintain his sobriety for 6 years?

When did Ray walk out on Allison and Claire?

Where is Sloan?

Why did they give the special dance sequence to Gene and Jean - TWO NEW CHARACTERS 90% of the fandom doesn’t give TWO SHITS about?

(side-note: if any of y’all have a connection for weed or something stronger, I would gladly appreciate the referral because I R E F U S E to watch episode 5 with a clear conscious… Just kidding! Or amI???)

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

TUA Tumblr Simulator pt. 2

Find more here: pt. 1

—

💩is-reginald-hargreeves-dead-now Follow

10/01/2007

NO

💩is-reginald-hargreeves-dead-now Follow

21/03/2019

YES, HE'S DEAD NOW!!!

938,649 notes

🤲health-and-goodness Follow

RIP Sir Reginald Hargreeves

🌄chanceschances Follow

HA, no

FUCK Reginald Hargreeves, all my homies HATE Reginald Hargreeves

256,803 notes

🏰study-hall-monitor Follow

Wait, how old is Reginald Hargreeves? Did he not age? Seriously, look at this photo from 2002 and look at this photo from this year

🦕dino-nuggiez Follow

If you were on Facebook, they'd say he was a lizard person

🐊florida-shaped-being Follow

Fortunately, we're on Tumblr

Which means that people will say he's a crab person

🎃helloqueen Follow

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

🍁chaos-is-my-peanutbutter Follow

You fools

OBVIOUSLY he's an alien

👾codey-for-everyone Follow

Wait. Omg. It makes sense!

It would also explain their powers, think about it!

You're an absolute genius, I can't believe no one has ever thought about that before!

🍁chaos-is-my-peanutbutter Follow

Lmao I think you're taking this too seriously buddy

🖍️memecent-van-go Follow

You are ALL wrong

He is actually created in a lab by the government and they said he "died" to surprise us with the biggest April Fool's prank in the history of mankind next week

498,737 notes

🪩 traumallama Follow

Congratulations to all the Hargreeves siblings, I am very happy for you. May you lead a very peaceful and cheerful life now that your dickhead father is gone

🌌 jupiters-moons Follow

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

🌨️ twirlingandwhirling Follow

I just feel bad for The Séance. Wouldn't like to have my abusive dad following me around

👥 lurkeringlurrlurr Follow

By that logic his dead brother, The Horror, would also be following him around

🌌 jupiters-moons Follow

Their names are Klaus and Ben.

🚵 rolly-molly Follow

Can we go back to The Séance thing? I mean, his power is that he can see ghosts iirc, who is to say he can't see Ben? (Also, seriously, The Horror? That must be so bad for a child)

👥 lurkeringlurrlurr Follow

Sure, I guess it wouldn't be impossible

But if *I* had my dead brother following me around all the time, I think I'd lose my sanity

9,734 notes

🪷sweet-sweet-sweeter Follow

Why Reginald Hargreeves kinda hot ngl

🥐food-up-with-this-croissant Follow

Dude, he JUST died

🪷sweet-sweet-sweeter Follow

What? I like old guys!

🌾crying-in-bed Follow

Tumblr user not simping over a white rich dude challenge: FAILED ❌

👾codey-for-everyone Follow

Also he's probably an alien

🪷sweet-sweet-sweeter Follow

Even better for the monsterfuckers

🐍nessiesmuse Follow

The monsterfuckers don't want him either

💟singthissong Follow

Abi, I say this as your friend, your mutual...

Get a better taste in men

🪷sweet-sweet-sweeter Follow

Maybe when I can afford rent, food and bills with one job I will

5,679 notes

☂️brellies-fan Follow

Is that Number Five, aka, The Boy, the one who disappeared 17 years ago?! Why does he still look like 13!? What's happening?!

1,139,580 notes

[rohanriders]

The rage I feel about five x lila isn’t just about how Diego and Lila were so perfect and the writers butchered it.

It’s about how ONCE AGAIN a POC couple is ruined and then having the brown girl go for a lanky white boy.

[fivelila]

- Look, Diego, you said you choose me, right? Well, this is who I am. I'm a fighter. Just like you. - I only said that because I thought you'd be nice to me. - If you wanted nice, you'd be with someone else.

This was again very interestingly translated into Czech:

Diego, you chose me, didn't you? But you won't change me. I'm a fighter, just like you.

I said it so you'd be nice. (It literally says: chop latin - to cut goodness. But it sounds weird in English. For us, this means - being nice, listening and not causing problems.)

If I were nice, you wouldn't want me.

[theprenderelliepalace]

Tag, you owe me

☆• Five x reader •☆

Season 4 AU -The Umbrella Academy

A/n I'm pretending season 4 happened a lot less season 4ish- so imagine this:

Summary: After The Umbrella Academy stopped The Cleanse and saved the world, life was just as crazy as it had been before. It's Grace's 8th birthday and a lot has happened in two years for Five and the other Hargreeves, you being one of those things. Tensions are high at what should be a simple birthday party, so Five asks you to help him out. But when have you ever listened to Five?

Warnings: Fake dating, cannon typical Hargreaves chaos, fluff, no Five x Lila nonsense (but maybe a bit of drama...), no use of y/n, readers not a marigold baby (but could be), gramatical errors I'm sure, swearing etc.

•☆•

You met Five Hargreeves 2 years ago when you were a paper pusher for the CIA's cold case unit. He was rude, obnoxious in every sense of the word and irritatingly good at his job. Naturally you couldn't resist getting a coffee with him.

You only got strung along from there. Your first case that he dragged you into almost cost you your job and your life, but it also got you bumped up to your own undercover unit, where you spent your days bickering with the worst partner you could've dreamt of.

Two years later and you couldn't have hated him less, but you're trying to be civil.

"Hey Fiver, where'd you put those case files I asked you to sign off? - Mmph!!" Your words are muffled by a calloused hand covering your mouth. You squirm for freedom, your training kicking in. You look up briefly at your captor and physically deflate at the sight of him. You are tempted to scream and get him in trouble, but the look on his face makes you think twice.

"Not a word, or I swear-" You elbow him in the gut, not hard enough to hurt him, just hard enough to get a word in edgewise. His hand falls away in surprise.

You gasp for breath. "The hell are you doing you crazy mother-" His hand clamps over your mouth again. With his free hand, he points out into the lobby. You clock a Hispanic man with scraggly hair at reception. He seems to be talking to Sally at the front desk.

Based on your 2 years of experience with Five. You assume this is either a terrorist, or a family member. Judging by his overreaction, you guess family.

The man sighed at whatever Sally said to him and turns, walking down the hall towards the exit. Five frees you from his iron grip. You stumble away from him, turning on your heel with outrage written all over your face. "You need help."

He smirks, although he appears distracted. "Tell me something I don't know honey." You give him the finger.

"Fuck you. The hell was that about?" You snarl at him.

"Family business. Birthday party. Ugly, ugly stuff. Wouldn't want you to get involved. You might just mess up your nails." He mocks. Shuddering at the thought of his family.

"First of all, my nails are always fantastic. Secondly, don't bullshit me." Five quirks a brow at you. "You've been doing this song and dance with your mysterious 'family' since I first met you. You're just a coward in my book Fiver." You watch his jaw clench, taking satisfaction in striking a nerve.

"Oh. Okay, I see how it is partner. You want my crybaby, backstory? Well come 'n get it sister." He glares at you, waiting for you to accept the challenge. You scoff. This is ridiculous, you're well into your 20s, this whole thing is just juvenile.

"Can't we be more mature than this?" You plead, though sarcasm drips off your tongue with a lazy ease.

"One of us can't." He retorts. You roll your eyes. You've learned that when he gets like this, it's best to bow out for a few hours and wait for everything to return to normal.

"Okay. Okay. I'll get lost. But I warn you Fiver, this whole thing will only bite you in the ass one day." You shrug, making for the break room. He grabs your wrist.

"I hate that stupid nickname."

"I know you do. Honey." You taunt him. It's dangerous, but oh how it thrills you. He pulls you closer, your lips are dangerously close, but achingly far.

"You owe me, you know..." You watch the gears turn in his head as that look you know so well falls over his face. "An eye for an eye. What'dya say?" The smug smirk on his face is enough to make you want to smack him.

"How'd you figure that you fuckin' cowboy?" Your stomach swirls with hot, unadulterated hatred, and something else...

"Remember the Fortheim case?" He gambles, knowing he's already won.

"Okay! Okay... Enough said..." He leans back, satisfied.

"Atta girl." You slap him.

•☆•

And that little backstory, was how you ended up drinking apple juice at an 8 year-olds birthday party at a Lazer Tag joint downtown.

"Happy?" You ask Five, who's had you glued to his arm for the last 2 hours.

"Not a day in my life." He sighs. You shake your head, itching to snap back when you hear someone call his name.

"Five! Long time no see man." A gangly looking hipster saunters towards the two of you. You smile at him, you're not sure what it is, but you like him already. "Oooh, who's your little lady friend?"

"Girlfriend." You say.

"Date." He states. You and Five exchange glances.

Five clears his throat. "This is my brother, Klaus." Your partner straightens his tie, as though trying to blend into the wall and out of this conversation. Klaus hums in amusement, his eyes crinkling with silent mirth. The hippie extends a graceless arm towards Five, enveloping him in an iron side-hug.

"You'll forgive my brother. He's never been the social butterfly of our family." Klaus smiles, it's a stupid smile, but it makes your heart warm to the brotherly love evident in his gesture.

"I noticed." You smile at Five, who shrinks even further into the wall, if possible.

"So, Miss Five's Secret Girlfriend. Where did he find you?" Klaus inquires, almost as though he's speaking about the weather.

You laugh. "Oh some back alley somewhere. Nothing fancy."

"Klaus let me go." Five warns. Straining against his brothers grip. For a guy so skinny, he has incredible grip strength to hold onto his whirlwind of a brother.

Klaus ignores this demand. "Oh yes. Makes sense. Not that you look the alley-type sweetheart, I just know my brother." He winks at you.

You smirk in return. Thoroughly enjoying Fives suffering. "I guess you do."

Abruptly, Klaus releases Five, sending him hurtling backwards. You can barely stifle your giggles now. "Well, it's been a pleasure missy. You're too good for him by the way." Klaus struts off towards the food table, eyeing the chocolate éclairs hungrily.

"I agree." You say to Five, who's look of pure rage could topple buildings.

"I hate him." He scowls.

"Oh hush. He's great." You grab your fake boyfriend by the arm, tugging him towards a cluster of people talking behind a drink cooler, suddenly feeling all the more chatty.

"Five? I didn't think you'd come." Says a strikingly tall man with spiked blond hair. He glances at you and then at your hand clenched around Fives. The look of confusion on his face is priceless. "I- who? What -" Internally cackling at your newfound revelation, you make to reply.

"Hi, I'm Five's partner." Not entirely dishonest. You stick your hand towards him, he shakes it dumbly, lost for words.

"Five? A girlfriend? What, are we on a Prankshow?" Says the woman at his side. She eyes you suspiciously. "Sloane." She affirms. You nod with practiced ease.

Five looks about ready to kill. You decide to ease off some. "My other brother, Luther." Your partner growls. Luther smiles now, almost like he's somehow in on a very bad joke. He begins to say something, but you cut him off.

"It was nice to meet you both. Excuse me for a moment." You smile sweetly, heading for the bathrooms. You catch Fives deathstare. "Fiver." You wink. You cackle as you listen to the onslaught of questions and abuses from his family. Serves him right, dragging you all the way out here, explaining nothing and still managing to be the most cantankerous jerk you've ever met.

You duck behind a corner, taking a corridor that leads into one of the Lazer Tag rooms. You decide to wait until they cut the cake before you make your showstopping final appearance. You're feeling on top of the world until you feel a familiar hand clasp your wrist.

"When I said come to my nieces birthday party as a distraction, that was not what I meant."

You turn to face Five. "What, did you want us to make-out or something? Would that have been distracting enough?" You scoff, pulling your hand out of his. "You're such a prick Hargreaves, you know that? Dragging me out here as bait! What the hell am I even doing here? You've got a good enough relationship with your brothers. Why bother?"

He looks at down at his polished brogues, the lilac light from the strobing LEDs above making him look older, haggard even. "It's complicated."

"By all means, uncomplicate it."

"I- I had this thing with my brother's wife..."

"Jesus Five!"

He glares at you reproachfully. "Not like that dammit! He just thought... it was a godawful time in my life okay?" He sighs, like the weight of the confession was boring into his chest.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry like that, but we're partners Five. We don't trick each other for petty stuff." You smile. "If you wanted to ask me out that bad, you shouldda just asked." You tease.

He smiles wryly. "That obvious huh?"

What? "What?" You gulp, dumbfounded.

He laughs at you, this achingly amazing laugh that catches you, making your laugh echo his in a sweet bubble of silliness.

"I've got to have a word with my brother, but," He smiles nervously at you. That's a first. "Do you wanna get outta here?"

"Depends on what I have an itch for." You smile coyly.

"Coffee?"

"Coffee."

He winks at you. "You got it partner." Suddenly your face becomes hot, you look away, enjoying the new meaning in the word. You glance up again, ready for a comeback only to find Five absent. It was strange, you could've swarn he couldn't have gone anywhere without you hearing him go. It was such a tight space, with hartily creaking floors.

In your stupor, you made your way back to the main party area. Finding Five, engrossed in conversation with the Hispanic man from earlier. You make your way over to them.

"Don't sweat it man. We're cool, Lila's cool."

"Says who?" You hear a woman's English accent from behind a brightly coloured piñata. The Hispanic man rolls his eyes.

"Don't listen to her. We're all good now Five. I get it, it was seven years."

Five tenses. "Nothing happened Diego." Diego laughs.

"I forget what a prude you are sometimes man. Chill. But I get it, you're trynna impress your new chica, right?" Diego glances at you slyly. You squirm slightly. Five turns, spots you and huffs.

"Okay. Goodbye. I've had enough of this family for one afternoon. Come on you." He waves at you over his shoulder.

"What? What girl- oh!" Lila, apparently, peers around the piñata and laughs, the complete hysterical kind. "Never in my life..." She pats Five on the shoulder, uttering something you can't hear.

By now, there are 7 people surrounding you, all smirking like idiots. You find it endearing.

You decide to take matters into your own hands. You take Fives hand, drag him away from his family and towards the door, but not before planting your palms tenderly on either side of his face and pressing your lips to his. He gasps into your kiss but his hands find your waist eventually, pulling you into him.

His siblings jeer and catcall, but you get the sense he doesn't care anymore. You giggle into the kiss as you watch him give them the finger. He pulls away from you, stranding out to the parking lot.

You gaze fondly at the people in the lobby and give them the bow they deserve. "Thank you and goodnight!" You smile at the laughter that echoes after you as the doors close behind you.

You race to catch up to Five, who's already waiting to open the passenger door for you. "I like your family Fiver."

He smiles, "They like you honey."

•☆•

[mino491]

I was looking at some of the promo for s4 and got so angry 😭

TUA had the opportunity to be one of the only recent shows on Netflix to not be cancelled before the ending but they literally took the expectations their fans had and shat all over them.

The posters that had all the siblings + Lila with their first appearance in the show and what they looked like in s4 were SO COOL. The ode to Klaus being able to levitate in s4 was amazing and I'm sad that all the promo we got led to s4. (even though some of the promo had like no thought behind it and made a bunch of plot holes and was kinda dumb I CAN LOOK PAST THAT and focus on the cool stuff)

[sleepycoffins-and-benhargreeves]

I all of a sudden want an AU of prince Diego who's this devil may care heir that gets the job done, but handles the dangerous affairs of their kingdom way too seriously that they're all having a heart attack every time he so much as sets foot out of the castle

Enter Knight/Assassin/Body Guard Lila that has sworn an oath to the crown and has been given the royal honor to protect the prince.

Cue in Lila being so annoyed and frustrated with Diego because he's always doing stupid things (for the right reasons and it actually works 99% of the time) and she SWEARS SHE'S NOT FALLING IN LOVE WITH THIS BRAT (younger than Lila Diego, you'll take this from cold rotting corpse) and she is not allowed to fall in love with the crown prince!

Then there's Diego, who initially did not want a baby-sitter because "Where have you ever heard a future king having a baby-sitter at my age?" so he does everything he can to PROVE TO LILA THAT'S HE'S CAPABLE AND DOESN'T NEED PROTECTION, until it eventually evolves into him just trying to impress her into "Oopsie Lila, I accidentally stepped on a pebble and my ankle hurts, I need medical assistance and I know you have a medical background so I need you to heal me pretty please" and he stares at her with those ghorgeous brown eyes and honestly, how in the hell is Lila not supposed to swoon into those sweet baby brown Spanish eyes?

[sideblogandabiscuit]

Diego: Hey. We can handle him. Wanna know what's different this time?

Luther: What's that?

Diego: You got me. We go in there as a united front. No more "Number One," "Number Two" bullshit.

This is my Diego. I hope I remember this moment when we get to the next seasons. I know I need to make comparisons.

[whereintheworldisspencerreid]

remember when steve blackman said this right after season 3 came out? yeah what happened? obviously they had some really cool ideas. did he get hit in the head or something? even if they were expecting a 10 episode season instead of 6, they clearly had some really intriguing concepts that could’ve been implemented instead of the most boring, nonsensical, canon ruining piece of media i’ve ever seen