#diego hargreeves drabble

[fiyero3305]

TUA Fic: Witchy Prompts 23

Witchy Prompts via @myloveforhergoeson

big inspiration taken from this post

23. Candles

To some extent Diego feels like an imposter when he sets up his ofrenda. He’s only done it for a few years and learned how to do it through books rather than tradition. Is it really his culture if he was plucked from it? Did his blood family even take part in the celebrations? He has no idea.

Then there’s the fact that of the people he honors with it, he’s only actually sure that one is dead. Ben’s name is written on a piece of paper, paired with a book of poetry Diego is pretty sure he saw him reading when they were younger. The other names, Five and Mamá, represent people who may still be alive for all Diego knows.

But on the other hand, he feels right doing it. Arranging the food, water, and marigolds on the small end table calms his heart in a way he can’t describe, and lighting the candles creates a setting in which he feels that he actually does have them by his side. It’s warm, and private, and a little bit magical. The phrase “piercing the veil” has been forever ruined for him by growing up with Klaus, but it comes to mind every year when he can almost feel the missing people touching his heart again.

He doesn’t know if his birth mother ever wanted kids in general, or him specifically. He never had an especially close relationship with Five. He let Ben die. It’s probably just his imagination, that they would actually reach back out to him, but damn it feels real. And it feels good. And he’s not going to question it too much.

So every year he places the items, relives the memories, and spends some time with the family members who have been taken from him.

[stonermujer]

ANYONE HERE LIKE DIEGO HARDGREEVES FROM THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY 🗣️

[familiaanteomnia]

The issue with being inside was getting in trouble as it was well past curfew. So he slipped out onto the front steps; which felt like the last place anybody else would turn up. Of course he was quiet if anything showing stealth was an good excuse if he did get in trouble. Eventually his eyes finally got too heavy, taking longer to open up with time they closed. Barely stirred awake by Grace who helped him make it back to his room. With only a few near collisions into furniture and walls.

[depressedcoffeeobsess]

𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐊𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬

Young!Five Hargreeves x Young!fem!reader

Warnings: severe begging , a kiss on the cheek , one bad word....

Summary: five has to dance with Vanya , eight has to dance with diego. Poor eight's on her knees begging five to dance with her.

(I wouldn't call this a oneshot its more like drabble)

"Please Five pleeeease!" She begged looking up at the boy.

Sir Reginald Hargreeves wanted his kids all to know how to dance. Slow dancing to be specific. He assigned partners to dance with. Poor eight is stuck with diego. Diego doesnt know how to dance at all. He is worse then an octopus reports allison on one of their tea parties. Vanya is quite lucky though. She got five. They all kniw five is a pro at dancing. But he wont admit it.

So here she is , on her knees , with her hands clasped together begging the boy to dance with her. Five is sitting down on the bed looking down at the girl with no expression. Eight is also looking at five in a pleading way , which seems to have not apleased the boy. I mean how would it work on him? Puppy eyes barely even touch his soul. Souless shit.

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Please, pretty please with a big cheeky strawberry on top five?" She pleaded extra sweetly. This kinda touched fives heart. It was no doubt five wasnted to dance with the begging girl. After all who wouldn't? Thise beautiful locks of hair that flew around looking for mercy. And those big bright orbs in her eyes. How would he not?

With a thousand more pleads five finnally let in. "Oh goddammit eight! Fine I'll dance with you , j-just stop begging!" He raised his voice a bit.

Eight's eyes gleamed with joy. She jumped up and hugged five so hard he almost fell down. Oh boy , could she give hugs. Five was very flushed but didn't want to show it.

Eight pulled away and leaned back into him. Suddenly five felt a small tingle on his cheek. She had kissed him on the cheek. He was bright red now.

Eight happily skipped out the room to tell Vanya that she was dancing with Diego.

A/N : I'm not in my tua phase (yet) . It is just a filler. Sorry.

•dividers by @issysh3ll

[girlkisser13]

diego hargreeves masterlist

* indicates smut

headcanons

dating diego hargreeves would include

nsfw headcanons *

imagines

drabbles

[lilacliquors]

welcome to lilacliquors's

to ring in the holidays, it's 12 holiday theme prompts!

rules + relevant info below the cut!

unlike kinktober, this event is open to everyone and will feature 12 fluffy prompts to give us some holiday cheer

the 12 days start on december 13th and will go until the 24th, and because we only have 12 prompts, these may be longer than the kinktober drabbles

these prompts are based off of the songs they're named after / have lyrics from! yes it's cute and also it gives me a prompt to work with, so they'll be out faster than the kinktober ones <3

because we have only 12 days, i'll only write for a character once. i know we might all wanna see our faves doing every fluffy holiday activity, but we gotta share the love here

like kinktober, if you enjoyed a prompt and want longer versions, or perhaps you want that same prompt with a different character, i'll be more than happy to write it over the holidays!

i write afab reader only. however, with these being in general fluff prompts and not smut, there is a much higher chance they'll be more gender neutral

i will be tagging all posts with #12 days of ficmas, #ficmas2023, #lilacliquorsficmas, #character name fluff, and #character name ficmas so easier navigation or for tag blocking purposes

the list for my characters can be found here

make sure to check back to this post to see which prompts have been claimed!

day one: walking in a winter wonderland - steve harrington

day two: rocking around the christmas tree - steve rogers

day three: i saw mommy kissing santa claus - soldier boy

day four: dreaming of a white christmas - bi-han

day five: last christmas - diego hargreeves

day six: baby it's cold outside - johnny cage

day seven: christmas wrapping - homelander

day eight: all i want for christmas is you - poe dameron

day nine: santa baby - miguel o'hara

day ten: jingle bell rock - soap mactavish

day eleven: let it snow - tomas vrbada (smoke)

day twelve: the most wonderful time of the year - billy butcher

[yanderetheumbrellaacademy]

MASTERLIST

UPDATED: Aug. 9, 2024 * = NSFW

Umbrella Academy

Luther Hargreeves | Number 1

When They Get Jealous

Diego Hargreeves | Number 2

When They Get Jealous Can't Help My Jealousy

Lila Pitts

When They Get Jealous Lila Pitts Headcanons

Allison Hargreeves | Number 3

Yandere! Headcanons When They Get Jealous

Klaus Hargreeves | Number 4

I Can't Do This Tattoos Klaus Getting Tattoos for his Beloved When They Get Jealous Klaus Hargreeves Headcanons

Five Hargreeves | Number 5

Yandere! Five Headcanons I'll Gouge their Eyes Break Your Legs Overprotective Five You're a Killer More! Yandere Five Headcanons Different Timeline Jealous Headcanons Dance w/ Me Stoner Drabble Reader killed a girl [Drabble] Sweet Dreams Are Made of These Serial Killer Reader When They Get Jealous Drunk Five [Headcanons & Oneshot] Love-filled Lies I Love You- Why Don't You Love Me

Ben Hargreeves | Number 6

Jealous Ben When They Get Jealous

Viktor Hargreeves | Number 7

When They Get Jealous

Sparrow Academy

Marcus Hargreeves | Number 1

When They Get Jealous

Ben Hargreeves | Number 2

I Hate You Jealous Ben * Feel Your Insides * When They Get Jealous Please Love Me

Fei Hargreeves | Number 3

When They Get Jealous

Alphonso Hargreeves | Number 4

N/a

Sloane Hargreeves | Number 5

When They Get Jealous

Jayme Hargreeves | Number 6

When They Get Jealous

Christopher Hargreeves | Number 7

N/a

[jhopezwrld]

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

DIEGO HARGREEVES

(hc) nsfw headcanons

(drabble) fluff + smut w/ diego

(hc) diego x plus sized!reader

KLAUS HARGREEVES

(hc) nsfw headcanons

FIVE HARGREEVES

(hc) nsfw headcanons

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Seventeen Years

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: Five finds something in the back of his closet. Warnings: Canon trauma and PTSD Word Count: 1,014 Ship(s): Five Hargreeves & The Umbrella Academy

Archive link!

A/N: So I got this off of a tumblr post I saw from @frozenwafflesagain and she very graciously allowed me to write a fanfiction about it! I just got this idea of Five in my head and then it wouldn't leave me alone. I hope that you all enjoy this little drabble and please remember, like all these fics, there's no editing! Thank you all for reading. Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Five was sticky with blood as he stomped into his bedroom. He was pissed that he had to change again after trying so hard to just get what he needed figured out done so he could move onto the next step of his self-assigned plan. He didn’t want the Commission sticking their nose where it didn’t belong and yet they just couldn’t seem to help themselves.

He rucked off the vest and tossed in vaguely in the direction of his hamper as he made his way over to the wardrobe. He threw open the doors so that he could get another one of the infernal uniforms that he had had to wear now because it was the only thing he could find that would fit him. They were still hanging there like they had been a few hours prior, pressed and perfectly stitched by the robotic hand of their mother.

He grabbed one of them from the hanger, yanking it forward with the kind of petulant attitude that could only be created by an adolescent body and brain that was pumped full of hormones it didn’t understand yet. The anger that boiled inside of him was almost indescribable as he realized that he was yanking without it coming anywhere because it was stuck.

He threw the hanger down onto the ground and then dug into the back of his wardrobe to figure out what it was that was preventing him to get ready for his mission this time. He paused when he caught sight of the first shimmery piece of paper though, his hand fluttering in the air.

Five reached down and carefully picked up the item that the pantleg had been stuck on, settling back on his haunches. He lowered the box down into his lap as he processed what it was.

The wrapping paper was folded with perfect creases and the ribbon was still curled, though he could see where the scissors had caught on an uneven polymer. The little tag hanging off of the center where the ribbon met together underneath a bow said: To 5, From 2

This was purchased from before Diego had chosen, he realized as the air was stollen from his lungs. This was the present that he was supposed to get when they turned fourteen, the first October that he had spent in the apocalypse. 

He collapsed on the baseboard of his wardrobe, pushing some of his shoes aside in the process so that he could fit. His fingers slipped underneath the tape that held the wrapping paper together, which was holding only because it had been shut out from the outside world for nearly seventeen years.

Inside was a plain looking book. When Five flipped it open, he saw that it was full of high quality graph paper that was all completely unmarked. The bottom even held a couple of lines in a square where notes about the day the equations were made and what they were could be written.

He turned around so that he was looking back into his wardrobe and noticed several more presents laid out. There were far more than there should have been for just the one year that he had been gone, but they were all wrapped with the signature traits that his siblings always wrapped things with and untouched.

He pulled them all out of the stack that they had been left in and tore them all open one by one. His arms couldn’t move fast enough as he reached for each new box and bag.

He didn’t notice the way that the pads of his fingers hurt from prying open taped shut cardboard boxes or running his fingers over the wrapping ribbon to get them off when he couldn’t figure out where they had been taped down. He didn’t notice the way that sobs forced their way out of his throat and into the open air of his ever unchanging bedroom with each gift that he pulled out and opened. He didn’t notice the way that tears streaked down his face and stained the front of a stuffed bear holding a knife or the front of a book by his favorite philosopher.

By the time that he finished opening each of the gifts that he had been squirreled away in the back of his closet, he had a mountain of wrapping paper, bows, ribbons, and tissue paper next to him along with an assortment of gifts to go along with them. There was a good deal of nice notebooks, ranging from the graph paper one he had opened from Diego to a set of six spiral bound ones in each of the siblings’ favorite colors. There was a handful of stuffed animals that were all strange enough that Five would have found them amusing enough to keep around. There was a set of beautiful fountain pens, as well as a thick block of chalk that he could use on his walls. He also had several books full of his favorite type of stories and studies, something that his siblings all knew he would enjoy.

They had intended to give him these gifts when he came back. They had been counting on the fact that he was still out there somewhere, waiting to make a big entrance and prove their father wrong. They had wanted him back every single birthday that they had lived at the house. That much he knew without reading the books. The existence of the books in general was enough to strip him of all the weariness that the apocalypse had caused him to gain, to make him feel rubbed raw. 

He loved his siblings more than the entire world. He had dedicated his entire life to getting back to them so that he could save them, after all. They had all seemed so apathetic and wary towards him when he came back that he had resigned himself to doing it without their help or support. After finding this cache of love and loyalty, though, one thing was perfectly clear.

They had missed him.

[fiyero3305]

TUA Fic: Witchy Prompts 21

Witchy Prompts via @myloveforhergoeson

21. Ancestors

The members of the inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy are, for all intents and purposes, the first generation of their family. The man they call “father” is anything but, and while their android mother does live up to the title, there’s no connection to a lineage there, but they find ways to build bridges to unknown families.

Foreign language study is a requirement of their father’s curriculum, but each child takes a particular interest in the language they would have spoken if not for the man who took them from their mothers’ arms. A few go much deeper into the study, beyond mere proficiency. Ben, Diego, and Viktor make it a genuine second language, to the point that they can play out fantasy scenarios in their minds of conversations with their parents.

Ben’s imaginary mom tells him he’s beautiful and reminds him that those violent thoughts are the Horror’s, not his, because she knows her son and he’s not a monster. Diego’s puts his head between her hands and kisses all over his face as he giggles and tells her to stop. Viktor’s heaps praise on him after every performance, always amazed by her talented son.

Some find their bridges to the past in their history lessons. Luther takes a shine to the Vikings, naturally. He builds models of longships and researches symbols to craft into medallions with clay. He wants to wear them, but feels too silly, so he keeps them in his bedside drawer. Allison immerses herself in the stories of the anti-apartheid activists of South Africa. Leaders like Nelson Mandela, Annie Silinga, and Stephen Biko captivate her and teach her what it means to be a hero. She is most fascinated by the life of Ida Mntwana and wonders if she could sing a crowd to peace in the face of police agitation the way Ida did.

Klaus finds the only concrete link to his specific lineage: a name and an address, found on an old check stub. He can’t bring himself to do anything with this information, but he carries it with him. No matter how unsteady his living situation or how little he owns at any given time, he makes sure this two inch square of paper is safely stored in a secure pocket or hideaway.

It may seem a paltry imitation of a heritage, but to the Hargreeves children, it means the world.

[ficnation]

Thank you so much for the tag, hun! @drabbles-mc 💖 It made my day 🥰

Rules: reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit! (unfortunately I don't think i know that many people 😭)

WIP Game

“Way Down We Go” Chapter 6: Facing the Strangers - Rick Grimes; Shane Walsh

“The Heart Wants What It Wants” Chapter 2: A Sweet Connection - Angel Reyes

“She” Chapter 4: The Secrets She Keeps - Angel Reyes

One More Ride - Daryl Dixon

The Cockroach: Chapter 3 - Negan Smith; Lucille Smith

Unexpected - Negan Smith

Just a Man - Joel Miller

Unnamed Project 1 - Diego Hargreeves

Baby Talk 2 - Daryl Dixon

Power - Shane Walsh

May We Meet Again - Ivar Ragnarsson

Negan?

Otis Milburn Fluff Alphabet

Consolation - Miguel Galindo

Family - Miguel Galindo x Oceteva! Reader

Happy Lowman x Reader

EZ Reyes x Reader? Angel Reyes x Reader?

Feel free to send in asks about any of the fics above 🙏🏻💖 I love talking to y'all!

Tagging (no pressure): @wreakingmarveloushavok @sourwolf-sterek32 @darklydeliciousdesires @freelancearsonist @stevesbestgirl @theteasetwrites @murdadixon @twdeadfanfic @jvalentinesworld-cokes-hyna @pastanest

and anyone else who wants to participate! ✨

[cas-kingdom]

The Umbrella Academy Masterpost

Main Masterpost

one shots

Silence (Hargreeves siblings) - Luther and Diego sneak downstairs at midnight to make Christmas possible for their siblings.

Piss Off, Ghost (Klaus x reader) - You steal Klaus’s cigarette. While he’s smoking it.

Higher Than Higher (Hargreeves siblings x reader) - Diego’s afraid of heights. Diego’s also stuck at the top of a ferris wheel with six siblings who are definitely not helping.

Lifeline (Klaus x reader) - Klaus finds himself in a state after seeing Dave in Texas, and only you have the ability to bring him back around.

Titch (Klaus x reader) - Klaus misses your smile. Thankfully, he’s a master at making it return.

As Long as You Need Me (Diego x OC x Hargreeves siblings) - When Diego finds a pregnant woman in a broken-down car on the side of a deserted road, he tells her he’ll stay for as long as she needs him. What neither of them seem to realise, is that the both of them may never stop needing each other. And they’re perfectly fine with that.

drabbles

Diego x reader (“What does the winner get?”)

Five x reader (“I was looking for you.”)

[thursdaygxrls]

info on requesting!

i write for. . .

( personal favorites are indicated by the green )

stranger things ( steve harrington, jonathan byers, nancy wheeler, robin buckley )

harry potter universe ( james potter, remus lupin, sirius black, lily evans, marlene mckinnon, mary macdonald, dorcas meadows, harry potter, hermione granger, ron weasley, fred weasley, george weasley, neville longbottom )

the hunger games ( peeta mellark, katniss everdeen, finnick odair, johanna mason, lucy gray baird, tigris snow )

the last of us ( joel miller, ellie williams [tlou2 only] )

the x-files ( dana scully, fox mulder )

gilmore girls ( luke danes, logan huntzberger, jess mariano )

misc ( peter parker/spiderman, yelena belova, diego hargreeves, mike schmidt )

*if a character you love is not featured on this list, please ask about it!

specific content i write

headcanons

bullet points with ideas based off a topic/prompt you give me

drabbles

small, 1k - 2k word stories based off a prompt or idea you give me.

fics

full on pieces of writing with multiple parts, 25k -30k words

ships

you give me a description of yourself, and i pair you with a character from a fandom of your choice.

*these are just general ideas to help form a request, not mandatory!

what i won’t write

piss, shit, & vomit

feet

rape/extreme dubcon

incest or simulated incest

pedophilia or simulated pedophila

nsfw/romantic content with minors

real people

character x character (with exceptions)

what i will write

nsfw content

sfw content

slight dubcon (things like somnophilia)

certain kinks

character x reader

basically everything else

if you are unsure, just ask!

[mybeautifulbeautifuleternal]

Writing Masterlist

Monthly Prompt Lists

Winter 2020

Febuwhump 2021

The Merry Whump of May 2022

Summer of Whump 2022

January Vocabulary 2023

Whumpuary 2023

TV Shows

The Good Place

Brooklyn 99/Good Place Crossover

Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon

Aemond Targaryen

You Tell Aemond You’re Pregnant

The Haunting of Hill House

Luke

Spending the Day with Luke

Nellie

Going on Vacation

Umbrella Academy

Series

i turn to paths that lead home

Summary:  Luther held Vanya a little tighter, refusing to let her go. It changed the game and made all the difference

i ii iii iv v vi vii viii ix

#i turn to paths that lead home

Connected One Shots

 A Season 2 Fix-it Universe

give your heart and soul to charity

post season 2 au: five finally gets the hugs he deserves but does not want (but he really actually does)

x

birds flying by, sun in the sky

summary: post season 2 au where 12 people came from the ‘60s to the world that 7 of them had left.

x

I’d never want once from the cherry tree

summary: post season 2 au - its finally a nice day in the city and the entire family has a BBQ

x

creepy, kooky, mysteries, & spooky

summary:  post season 2 au: its halloween time and the hargreeves let Klaus choose the costumes. it went about how you expect.

x

6 for 6

summary: 6 hugs for Ben cause he deserves them

x

Claire Hargreeves’ Summer

Tea Party

Summary: Five has a plan. It does not survive contact with his niece.

x

Cooking with Klaus

summary: Claire has a nightmare and Uncle Klaus comes to the rescue.

x

Rainy Day Forts

summary: Claire has fun with the Hargreeves and they build a Blanket Fort on a Rainy day.

x

Bedtime Stories

Nighttime Nightmares

Summary:  Number Seven gets a nightmare. Number Six helps her go to sleep again.

x

Sleep Without Fear

Summary: Number Four, Number Six, and Number Seven sleep together. The nightmares go away.

x

Not Connected One Shots

he had to do this

summary: klaus wakes up alone in the barn, surrounded by his siblings.

x

idioms

Summary: Diego misspeaks and his siblings are assholes.

x

every dog should have a boy

Summary: Five? Meet Mr. Pennycrumb

x

Drabbles

Ben

Getting Engaged to Ben

Luther

Going to all of Luther’s Fights

Movies

How To Train Your Dragon

Ruffnut

Being Worried about Ruffnut

IT and IT: Chapter 2

Bill Denbrough

Running into Him Outside the Jade Dragon

John Wick

John

Spending the Day at the Park

Marvel

Wanda

Talking to Wanda inside the Hex

Rise of The Guardians

Jack

Ice Skating

Starting a Snowball Fight

Star Wars

Obi-Wan

Making Him a Flower Crown

Original Characters

Charlie Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)

i couldn’t utter it, i couldn’t whisper it (my love for you was silent)

Summary:  In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end well.

i ii iii

#i couldn’t utter it

a bed of roses and the river at dawn

Summary:  In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end happily.

AU of a Number Eight AU.

i 

#a bed of roses and the river at dawn

Aelia (Eternals)

Drabbles

M’darlin - Breakdown after the final battle

Post Battle - the immediate aftermath

Reading - a calm day of the past, reading

Piano Lessons - teaching Jack how to play

#the sun the moon and all the stars

[bigfatbimbo]

Welcome to the blog

My name is Ellie! I’m currently in college but in my downtime I like to write stupid little fics for my latest obsession - feel free to leave a request, after reading the rules.

if you know me from before, also here’s my masterlist

RULES —

Do’s : I will write fluff, angst, nsfw, headcanons, drabbles, full fics, gender-neutral & fem!reader, as well as afab & amab

Don’ts : oc x reader(depends), dom!male characters, male!reader, any nsfw that I deem too freaky

QUICK REMINDERS I have the right to not interact with any ask I don’t want too, and add rules when I see fit.

I’ll do most nsfw prompts, so if you have an idea you think is really kinky, i’d say still take the chance, just know that I might not respond if I don’t fuck with it [anything with barf or scat is too far.]

And I will NOT write dom!male character, I will write dom!female character.

If you don’t specify the readers gender, it will just be neutral. This gets trickier with nsfw, I don’t have male parts, so the default will be afab.

Also, if the request isn’t specifically asking for a fic/drabble/headcanons, i’ll just ramble my thoughts in short. Sometimes this doesn’t apply if the idea is really to my liking.

WHO I WRITE FOR —

Current fixation is gravity falls! This means i’ll be loving these requests for the next few months.

GRAVITY FALLS Stanford Pines, Stanley Pines, Bill Cipher, Fiddleford Mcgucket [young]

ADVENTURE TIME Simon Petrikov, Betty Grof, Bubblegum, Marceline, Marceline’s fuckass dad

UMBRELLA ACADEMY Diego Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves, Viktor Hargreeves, and Lilah

INSIDE JOB Brett Hand, Reagan Ridley, Gigi, Andre, probably JR ngl

MISCELLANEOUS Benson from Regular Show, Deadpool, Tony Stark, Sidney Prescott

REQUESTS — OPEN

[lesbianjackies]

Hello, can I have a 🕊 with diego hargreeves from TUA please?

I'm 5'2, INFJ, shy but becomes quite chaotic after becoming comfortable

I grew up listening to rock and pop punk but have slowly transitioned to pop and classical

I enjoy alone time a lot and get frustrated when I don't get some time to myself, will go a long way just to avoid crowds

I enjoy reading, going to art galleries, bookstores, walking around the city

my love language is acts of service

will 100% tell diego I'll stab whoever hurts him when i have ZERO skills in self-defence

omg short gang!! i am also 5'2 hehe. i hope you enjoy your fic lovey, you sound adorable! 🤍🦢

🕊 - send me a character and as much information about yourself as you’d like and i’ll write a blurb about what i think your relationship with that character would be like!

"Give me their name." You stare up at Diego, determined to make whomever messed up his Starbucks order pay.

Your boyfriend sighs, running a hand over his face. "Baby, please, I don't even remember. Plus, what are you gonna do? Kick them in the shins?"

"Yes!" you say stubbornly. "Getting kicked in the shins hurts."

Diego holds back a laugh, shaking his head. "(Y/N/N), I don't even care. It was just a messed up order."

"Well I care. They hurt my Diego, and for that they will pay."

"They didn't hurt me, babe. You gotta chill out."

You pout, slumping down. "I just wanna protect you for once!" you whine, leaning against his shoulder. "You're always out fighting bad guys and saving the world. I wanna do something for you."

"Aw, baby..." He kisses you softly. "You don't have to protect me. I love you for who you are, a short little loner who cannot fight for the life of her."

You smile a bit. "And I love you for who you are, Walmart Batman."

Diego frowns. "Walmart Batman?"

"Five has some creative insults."

Diego shook his head, laughing. "Apparently so."