#died the same way as her mom :((((
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#I’d just like one day that I get to enjoy without every happy moment being ruined#by a family member mentioning my dad and the way he died#it sends me to my own private hell#and I’d love to just enjoy a day#I remember writing how bad my birthday was because my mom wouldn’t stop mentioning my dad and how he died#she even got me gifts from him and wrote as though he was writing#and then talked about his death all day#and while I didn’t get gifts from him#the rest was pretty much the same#and I miss him too. like horribly bad#but I also talked with him about death a lot#and he told me how he’d hate for our lives to center around his death#and he’d hate for us to not be happy#so I try and I try and I try#but it’s like it’s not allowed here#because my mom’s grief- according to her- is worse than mine#because I didn’t choose my dad but she chose her husband#and somehow that makes all the difference#and ‘while I know you’ve never had a Christmas without him I haven’t had one without him since we dated…’#why can’t both of our pain just be pain??#and why can’t we be allowed to make happy memories now?#sorry for rambling it’s been a long and v hard day
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I propose this idea: both Ritsu and Yuri make the mc do domestic/motherly things but for different reasons. Ritsu wants to see how his crush would be if they had children (he will need an heir to the legacy in some years!) (and to a certain point he wants to be cared for like when he was younger but it isn't his first reason shhh) on the other hand Yuri is stepping the line between wanting a mom and wanting to be babied and fed his favorite food and wanting a girlfriend and dealing with his romantic feelings like an adult (plus when jiro joins the mothering and mothered dynamic he acts like a child getting a sibling he didn't want for a little bit)
lmaooo i love that.
Ritsu frames it as little assistant work at first--he pays them for it, unlike everyone else who asks for their help cleaning their office and organizing things, so they're a little happier to do it. They've been working for Jin and Romeo so their cleaning skills are very good. Perhaps a little too good. They haven't been cleaning up crimes, have they?
Then he offhandedly asks if they know how to cook. They admit they haven't really cooked since they got to DW and mostly ate at the cafeteria or ate things others cooked for them or ate out. Ritsu chides them for their lack of self-sufficiency and reminds them they can use the kitchens at DW. He wanted to investigate something for a client, so it would be a good opportunity to try out cooking. You want to make sure you know where your nutrition is coming from! Their cooking is satisfactory, but it's definitely not a mother's level yet. They have time to improve. They don't really understand why he's being so critical about it, but they apologize anyway, wondering if maybe Sho or one of Jin's cooks could teach them a thing or two. It would be nice to be able to make food for their friends.
Then he asks about their work at Jabberwock, dealing with anomalous animals. They admit it's tough, but some of them are nice! They mention taking care of some of the younger animals after making sure the parents knew they meant no harm. So far nothing more than minor injuries! He nods in approval as they explain bottle feeding Peekaboo, and how cute it is when it's enjoying its food. Haru said they're a natural--Peekaboo didn't even throw up or bite them when they fed it for the first time! The younger anomalous animals seem to like them a lot!
Ritsu can't help but smile at that they seem to take well to caring for children. That's the most important thing. In the three years his firstborn son will have before he becomes a slave to the judicial system, he wants him to be loved and cared for by someone who will be able to give him the kind of love his mother gave him.
(Of course he would never force them to have a child. That would be against some law I'm sure, I'm not exactly up to date with the Japanese Penal Code. However, he wouldn't stay with them if they couldn't have children--he needs to have an heir, it's expected of him, so even if he wouldn't be happy with the result he would have to find someone else.)
(In the meantime though, he might indulge a little in being offered to try food as it gets closer and closer to tasting like what a mother's cooking should taste like. Even if he refuses, he still feels something like motherly love when they worry over him seeming to 'work too hard'. Being shown things he's not familiar with feels like motherly love, because he spent so much time with his mother seeing the wonders of the world. Perhaps the things they show him aren't as glamorous, but they still give a similar feeling of sharing a world outside of his own.)
Yuri, in stark contrast, is just a spoiled child about it sometimes. Although he tries not to be overt about it.
He finally decides he can go to sleep now after staying up like a week and a half researching, so "Come here. Your heartrate and breathing patterns are optimal for helping me sleep more quickly, so lie down with me for a little while. It--it's just so I can sleep and wake more efficiently! Do not question my methods, worm!" and then they have a grown ass man curled up against their chest(arms around their waist, it's not entirely childish--) and they aren't allowed to move until he's had his nap. He may or may not want a lullaby or bedtime story, but counting their heartrate is enough.
They decide to bring Jiro and Yuri something to eat and Yuri pouts and huffs over it not being their cooking. He still eats it though, because he's happy they brought him food. It's still a motherly gesture. Why'd they bring some for Jiro too though Jiro can't even eat solids what do you mean you had to make Jiro's nutrition shake yourself why didn't they hand make his food he is their--significant other! . . .Yes, Jiro is also their significant other, but that is besides the point!
(Jiro is quietly enjoying his meal in his shaker bottle. They're reminded of a child with a sippy cup with Yuri huffing next to him. He does not want to share his mama.)
Yes he is a mature adult but he's not good at addressing his feelings at all. When he does he does it awkwardly and accidentally, through freuden slips and things he wanted to keep to himself until he didn't feel like he was too busy for such concerns. N-not that he cares if they think it's strange he wants to call them 'mama' while clearly maintaining romantic (and professionally possessive) feelings! He's not worried about them finding this offputting at all!!! He knows they're honored to be his partner and. . .occasional source of maternal comforts and outlet regrets! Anyway he's going to hold their hand everywhere they go--because he is leading them where they need to go like a good researcher does, not because it fulfills his romantic and juvenile needs--
When he succeeds at something he wants to show them so they smile and tell him what a good job he is and how proud they are and how impressive he is. . .like his mother used to. Not that it's entirely that--of course he wants to impress his partner too, but. . .the projection is embarrassing, but comforting.
#ritsu shinjo#yuri isami#danie yells at tokyo debunker#danie yells with anons#danie yells answers#every day we get closer and closer to giving yuri an age regression thing and i need to reel it in lmaooooo#I PROMISE THE THING THAT APPEALS TO ME MOST ABOUT YURI IS THAT HE IS AN INETHICAL DOCTOR AND EXPERIMENTS ON PEOPLE#BUT ALSO THE WHOLE 'MAMA' THING SEEMS CUTE THE WAY WE'VE BUILT ASSUMPTIONS AROUND IT#i'm really looking forward to whatever is actually going on with it in canon like. what happened to this man's mother. is she gonna be okay#what exactly is causing him to relate the pc to her. is she also cursed is she also dying did she die to the same curse or something#is yuri actually super old and his mom died the day the pc was born and he thinks she's reincarnated into them#because he reads too many isekai light novels
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crick is a few years older than isaiah... what if he had very faint i was a little boy memories of isaiahs mom before she died oxo
#thinking sooo hard about it#really a blind leading the blind moment#they get along well honestly. crick enables isaiahs sadboy side where he just wants to mope about bad stuff in his life#and isaiah enables crick to actually get it out of his system because hes very active (destructive) about negative expression#isaiah isnt a crier hes a breaker. crick is a sogggggggggy drinker who just cries all day abt it#so theyre very cathartic left to their own devices#i think crick being like thank god my mom drove my dad off. hed probably be like your dad if he was still around#and isaiah goes i wish my mom was around to do that... and getting soggy about not having ever gotten to know her#so crick dredges up the faintst foggiest memories of knowing her before she died and isaiahs RAPT just RAPT#and it makes crick cry bc hes SUCH a mamas boy the idea of losting cathy like that makes him blubber#so they just blubber about it together#thats their whole dynamic LOL#its why they only ever let themselves be alone 1ce and they went on a wholeass sadboy road trip about it#then did NOT stay in touch after#bc its not. a very healthy friendship all things considered#its really great when hunter first leaves tho bc crick is the ONLY person who gets it. what isaiahs feeling#bc he and hunter werent together but he LOOOOVED him and crick had the same thing happen w d.alex when he left for college#and never ever came back. ever. he left for good the moment he got a foot out#ofc that comes around to isaiah and hunter absolutely end up together and crick and d.alex Do Not. dave never felt that way abt him so#but its for the best#cricks husband is VERY good for him. gideon is no nonsense and doesnt have time for moping#he whips crick into shape as his lil househusband instead LOL
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Between commissions I finally managed to finish this OC set of parent characters! If the looks aren't enough to show you who their kid is, the background colors match them ^_^ but of course more details below!
Name: Thuban
Name origin: The former pole star, before the north star (Polaris), it's name means "Large snake" and is referred to as the “Dragon's tail”
Pronouns: He/him
Age: N/A
Relation: Raised Polaris, though they're not related by blood and have a somewhat distant relationship, until he suddenly went MIA
Weapon: Spear (Same as Polaris's)
Ethos (Power): N/A
Flaw power is based on: N/A
Notes: Make no phallic jokes about the large snake thing and you'll be rewarded
Name: Ananke
Name origin: A moon of Jupiter, named for the mythological spirit of necessity, inevitably, and compulsion
Pronouns: She/her
Age: -
Relation: Bella's mother, she raised her to be a warrior
Weapon: Bardiche
Ethos (Power): Indomination (The ability to freeze the movement of objects and people, and lock them in place)
Flaw power is based on: Her strict enforcement of obedience through authoritarianism, and a lack of concern for the wishes of others
Notes: She believes in tough love. It's better in the long run to give your kid strength rather than affection.
Name: Rhea
Name origin: A moon of Saturn named after the Titan known as the mother of the gods
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 38
Relation: Saiph's mother, though she gave him up to the guild when he was very young
Weapon: None
Ethos (Power): None
Flaw power is based on: N/A
Notes: Was unable to take care of a baby at the time, and gave Saiph to the guild. She wishes she'd visited beyond that but it's probably too late now...
Name: Arche
Name origin: One of Jupiter's moons, it's name comes from the muse of new beginnings and is associated with springtime
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 7
Relation: Saiph's half-brother. Neither currently knows the other exists
Weapon: None
Ethos (Power): None
Flaw power is based on: N/A
Notes: He's just a little guy. He likes flowers and playing with toys. He wants to be a cool hero like his dad
Name: Poerava
Name origin: A star in Tucana, the Maori word for a black pearl of mystical beauty and perfection
Pronouns: She/her
Age: -
Relation: Al's mom. She mostly raised him on her own while her husband was with the knights.
Weapon: None
Ethos (Power): None
Flaw power is based on: N/A
Notes: Probably the best parent of the bunch if we're being real.
#Finn's ocs#Finn's art#oc references#i wrote the descs while w the kids so hopefully they make sense. my attention was split#but anyway here in the tags I'll talk about the designs in relation to their kids lol#polaris is emulating thuban moreso than anyone else. her color scheme and outfit motifs are the same as his- they ARE his#her original outfit is clothes she took and diy'd into her own so she could go off into the world and well presumably look for him at first#the truth is she always wanted to see the world that's why she loved maps. in a way this was an excuse. in another way she was just lonely#but doesn't understand loneliness. also the fact that she's not his daughter by blood is part of that#bc of her actual parents (not as relevant character-wise) she sees all relationships as temporary and she has issues connecting#ananke i wanted to mostly look intimidating in a way that Bella really isn't#Bella puts on skull hairties and fishnets and stuff but she's very much. a cute softie trying to look edgy. she has pink twintails#she's so different from her mom in pretty much every way but she still did have that ideal of strength drilled into her#still her take on it is softer. she's the team leader now but she's really pretty lenient aside from the important No Killing rule ofc#w Rhea and Arche i had a bit of a flower theme. pussywillow (lol) means motherhood and buttercups mean childishness#so. mother and child#but rhea is interesting bc she's raising a whole different kid now that she's in a different place in life#if you do the math she had Saiph young. and it was alright for a while until his dad (again not as important) died#so she didn't have support or money. but she had a connection to the guild because his dad's old sword teacher is a member (hmm)#but she was too scared/ashamed to visit. she just left him his dad's old knife because that's all she had (THE KNIFE IS IMPORTANT)#arche is her kid with her second husband and her new beginning. this will cause some inner problems for Saiph when he meets them...#Poerava was kinda designed to have rich lady vibes because remember Al's family is practically nobility#but more importantly she's designed to look like a mom. with the low ponytail and tired eyes#the black pearl of her namesake as the centerpiece of her outfit too#again she's got the healthiest relationship with her kid here by a longshot#but i mean don't worry Al still got the daddy issues so he's not getting away unscathed#I already drew Taurus with the zodiac knights though so i didn't feel the need to reintroduce him#anyway Mira really has 0 connection to any family at all she was found as an orphaned baby after a monster attack#obviously she had parents but beyond town of origin it's unknown who so she has no connections to any sort of past parental figure#the guild is her one and only family and that's how she wants it. she wants to be with them forever the past doesn't matter
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Predictions for Oshi No Ko Ending
1. Anemone will be the one to find Katayose Yura's dead body.
In Japanese flower symbolism, Anemones or Windflowers represent death, bad luck, and forsaken love. And it just so happens we have a character named exactly that, who happens to be the only other character apart from Katayose Yura who loves being in the mountains.
Anemone will likely be climbing the same mountains on Yura's wishlist, and just like before, The Crow might lead Anemone to the dead body.
It's like Akasaka-sensei decided Spider Lilies are already too obvious a deathflag so he chose a different flower.
I'm taking the bet that Akane might be the person who figures out the connection between Yura and Kamiki, or Miki-san might simply show up on the news as a statement about his "dear friend Yura" who "disappeared".
Akane might also give the head's up to Aqua that she thinks Kamiki murdered Yura, and that would be a reason for the two to spend more time with each other again. (Might shove a wedge between Kana and Aqua again, if Aqua isn't already doing that himself lmao.) Either way, it'd be a convenient way for Akane to attempt to both "save" Aqua and also help him accomplish his goals without killing himself.
2. The person who texted Frill Shiranui is Miki-san.
Sylvanes made a fairly solid guess that Frill Shiranui works for Kamiki Productions. Whether or not he was necessarily correct on this, I'm making the bet that Yura's "best drinking buddy" Miki-san is connected to Frill professionally, and goaded Frill into pushing Ruby into the spotlight.
Some speculators say this might have been Aqua's ploy, but I I think this was incorrect. Aqua agreed with Kaburagi that money comes first and Frill was a more reasonable choice commercially. He even said that Gotanda should "grow up" and not choose Ruby just because of his artistic integrity.
Apart from the friendly, casual tone of the text message that really sounds like the "Miki-san" persona and the image of decanted whiskey as his profile picture, I think Kamiki is actually praying for Ruby's success as a star.
In fact, I think people misunderstood why he killed Katayose Yura. He didn't kill Yura because his serial killer MO was simply because he liked killing up and coming megastars who shone brightly. He killed Yura because:
(a) He hates Stars who lie, who sell a persona to their fans that is vastly different from who they are as people, which is why he hated Himekawa Airi and Hoshino Ai.
(b) He killed Yura because he knew that the project being offered to her was the lead role in The 15-Year Lie. And simply, he wanted Ruby to play Ai's role.
In a twisted way, I think Kamiki believes he is protecting his children, and the public in general, from being lied to any further by celebrities like Yura who deceive the public with their feigned innocence.
Honestly? I think the reason he killed their mothers was to protect them from growing up with mothers who lie and abuse their kids.
3. Kana might play Hoshino Ai in The 15-Year Lie.
Okay, okay, okay, okay. I know. I know. Unhinged fan theory. I get it.
Even AquaKana stans think this is majorly unlikely to happen. I agree in that, I think it's insane. But I keep coming back to what Aqua meant when he said that, "Kana is so easy to manipulate", and "It's more convenient for me to build a good relationship with Arima right now."
People tend to say, he's making silly convoluted excuses again, he just wants to spend more time with her. But I think a man who is resolute in his goal to off himself by proxy of martyrdom doesn't care to date the person he was protecting from a love scandal anyway.
There are a few key reasons why I think Aqua's "using" of Kana will result in her playing Ai's role.
First of all, I think Aqua's plan is to play Kamiki, to portray him in the worst possible way, and expose him as the murderer through the film. Through this, Aqua will bait his father into murdering him too, and thus Aqua's death can be used as legal grounds for charging Hikaru Kamiki with Homicide.
As established above, I think Aqua doesn't agree that Ruby is the best choice for Ai's role. There are a lot of parallelisms baked in between Kana and Ai. Apart from the shot-by-shot remake of Sign is B, Kana is also the best person to get stabbed and deliver the lines, "Some day I hoped the lies would become true. / I did my best. I worked hard. I lied with all my heart. / To me, lies are love. In my own way, I thought I was showing my love."
Besides, you saw anyone else say these same things?
Uhuh, you guessed it:
So is Kana gonna get stabbed? Hopefully in a movie, yeah.
I think it could happen as a result of Kaburagi's dissatisfaction with Ruby's performance.
Kaburagi's "finalized" casting isn't final-final yet, really. We can see that he swapped Aqua to play Kamiki instead of Himekawa who will now play Ryosuke the university student/stalker here:
Which makes sense! Aqua looks like his father, is closer to his age during the time of the events, and Taiki's age and height also better matches Ryosuke.
And even though the paper says finalized on Ruby's casting, Kaburagi's still not completely sold:
I think the swap will come as a result of Ruby being severely overworked and unable to keep up with the demands of her role, and the Dome performance that she might want to prioritize. She may even outright collapse from exhaustion, as foreshadowed by Kana:
Apart from Akasaka-sensei absolutely trolling us to death by Ai x Kamiki on-screen romance being portrayed by twins, then just outright pulling the plug on that for fun, I think it'd just make sense for Kaburagi to say it's better if we pair Aqua with Kana for this role.
Ruby doesn't even have to collapse or anything. She's so loved up with the idea of Gorou-sensei right now, Aqua could literally just tell her "this is what's best for the plan, you trust me, don't you?" And she would absolutely just go with it.
I said before that I think up until Mem-cho pointed it out, Aqua was wholly unaware that Kana had a crush on him and joined B-Komachi just because of him. I think now that he has the awareness, he'll ask Kana to do it, first to help Ruby, but also because he can only trust Kana to play this role because she is "Special" to him.
A repeat of:
It really is the only way that this scene therefore makes sense to me:
Bonus: if the Shima D masterpiece film doesn't draw Kamiki's attention to her, Kana playing the role of Ai definitely will. And if she delivers the role with so much honesty, it might change the trajectory of the story altogether.
4. Aqua's plan will backfire.
I explained a little above and in a previous post that Aqua misunderstands Kamiki's motives.
While we all like to shit on Aqua for being the World's Nicest Master Manipulator, we have to give him credit for the fact that when it's used for saving other people, he's been really effective at spinning a public narrative in his favor. Like in the cases of Akane's suicide attempt and Kana's Love Scandal.
If the goal is to get Kamiki to stab him in plain view of the public, villify his father, and make it easy to convict him for homicide once and for all, I think he will fail.
Kamiki will not kill him or go after him. In fact, I think Kamiki will shed his Miki-san persona and reveal the truth: he was Himekawa Airi's rape victim, and Hoshino Ai was a manipulative person who seduced him with the prospect of true love, then abandoned him when she got what she wanted, which was a family.
In the absence of any evidence that he had anything to do with their deaths, Kamiki might even use this momentum of propaganda to make the public believe that he's happy to finally be reunited with his children that these terrible mothers took away from him.
Heck, Taiki might hate Uehara so much that he'd be relieved to learn about Kamiki? And if he really is connected to Frill, and if Kindaichi still cares about him, there might be real people who would back him up.
Then, it won't be until Akane works with Aqua and everyone to bring the murder of Katayose Yura to light that Kamiki would actually be brought to justice.
#Bonus if you made it this far: Ruby will meet Marina Tendouji for sure#Now that Marina knows Ruby is Ai's child#Marina might encounter Ruby for drinks and talk to her about how her daughter was a huge fan of Ai-san#Then Ruby might ask what happened to your daughter#There will be two ways this will resolve#Either Marina says it absolutely broke me when she died I couldnt even bear to be with her or something#Or Marina will say something outright evil#Marina might say something like do you think my daughter forgave me#And if she does I really wish Ruby will say No I don't think she would#But at the same time I dont think she would even think of you negatively#She loved you and believed in you simply because you were her mom#In general I think this moment will be the emotional resolution of Ruby's arc#and it will be necessary for her to break away from Gorou#Oshi No Ko#Oshi No Ko Spoilers#Oshi No Ko Fan Theories#Hoshino Aqua#Hoshino Ruby#Hoshino Ai#Arima Kana#Himekawa Taiki#Hikaru Kamiki#Frill Shiranui#Yura Katayose#Kurokawa Akane
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will wood in case i die.... save me...... save me in case i die will wood.....
#emotional state died clearly#allisters yapping#also no i dont have a fave album.... i love all will wood songs ewually........#will wood#in case i die#i love how pure live albums are i listen to the live tapeworms album as well#i love the songs but hearing the audience too is just so !!!!#like in the main character (live) where he goes “her majesty (rest in piece)” and the audience starts cracking up??!!#same w cicada days. “you were born into themind of.. your.... mom”#and the waybthe audience does the “fuck” in 2012?? and the one “retracing my steps” part near the end as well#also the way the audience keeps forgetting that in the repeat of white knuckle jerk it ends at "oh lordl#i lovr live albums sorry guys
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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i believe the whole "beau broke is constantly being told to not end up like his brother despite the fact that dustin basically did over half the parenting" thing is probably not good for his mental health.
#brandi isn't QUITE the worst to me but the years after skip died she was an alcoholic/very in her grief#she also gets better over time but for the important part she was Gone. i love sibling tragedies#even if brandi was single mom who worked two jobs deal dustin is a good older brother to me so either way#the youngest broke sibling also got to be mostly raised by brandi after she got better. none of these kids were raised by the same parents#but dustin is still like. a criminal/general deliquent/dropout to me. so society wise he's a Bad Person tm
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guys this "keeping myself busy with distractions so I don't get sad" thing isn't working
#my mom is basically scrubbing the house of all traces of her bc thats how she copes. thats what she did when dad died#like two days later she was cleaning out all his medical equipment and stuff#i guess thats a way of dealing with it :( just doesnt really work for me because it makes me feel their absence even harder#like for me i personally wanted to keep Dad's stuff around for a while because. idk i guess it just felt like he was still kind of there#in a way. i guess. i dunno#obviously losing a pet is easier to deal with than losing a parent but it still blows dude i hate this#(* a parent that you had a good relationship with. i know that im very fortunate in that regard. not everyone had that and i need to count#my blessings)#idk this feels harder than losing my childhood dog because jojo was basically my constant companion for the past several years#after dad died i got suicidally depressed and didnt leave the house and was unemployed for a good chunk of time and she kept me company#taking her for walks and hikes was the only thing i enjoyed doing and the only thing that got me out of the house. she was always there#(also there's probably some psychological component to the fact that we adopted her specifically to be a companion for dad#when he was wheelchair-bound and couldnt go anywhere. so she kept him company. and then after he died she did the same for me#so. idk. like.... i feel like theres something there lol)#mia.txt#animal death
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Bruh my name fit in hers theres no way im recovering soon
#bro fuck you mean she’s the first person I had a crush on and everything felt perfect for a few months and now when I drive by my elementary#school I just remember how the first time I hung out with her and met her friends was near there#now I just think of it as her neighborhood and not that place near the coffee shop where I got hot chocolate and a cookie from with my dad a#nd brother on our way to school after our mom died#I still avoid the area we hung out on even though she hasn’t been there in months. I still walk away from it I still don’t look#I still spell her name thinking ‘gen evie ve’ I still go to stores and think she’d love that skirt or that necklace#I still look at the pants I wear and remember that I got them with her at that goodwill. and that same day we went to the beach and drew#stupid shit in the sand and I went home and was happy for the rest of the week#I still can’t scroll far down on my contacts and see the last message I sent her without spiralling down what I could’ve done differently#man I fucked up
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Haven’t shown y’all my Earth where Frankie’s a trans lady and Danny sees Ghosts. [There’s more to it but, like….this is the most relevant info for the doodles.]
#Francis Castle#Francis Castle Fanart#the punisher#the punisher fanart#danny ketch#danny ketch fanart#ghost rider#ghost rider fanart#E-1815141425#ron’s art tag#shut in the fuck up ron#Danny’s still the Ghost Rider btw#but Naomi didn’t die early on#Barton Johnny and Barb all died in a tent fire at the carnival#Danny was 3 and watched it happen before the Ghost Rider [Naomi|Ghostie] saved him#they lived together for 10 years before she officially had him live with Mrs. Ketch#same year she left Johnny came back to life [He’s 22 atp]#and Barb sticks with Danny as a spirit#a little thing about the ghost rider hosts is that they are basically connections to the dead in some way#so Danny sees ghosts because Naomi still fucks up her deal with Mephisto making Danny the next host in line#when Johnny’s reborn [it’s via a black goat and a ritual and shit] he also has this ability since#he came back carrying Zarathos’ heart/soul with him#it…it’s a whole thing…#but Danny thinks he’s crazy so when he starts college it all kinda gets fucked up because Naomi dies the same year [he doesn’t know she’s#dead yet] and the ghost rider transfers itself to HIM adding the ability to see the damned#so he ends up having a full blown freakout at a house party 😭#and he’s like “nope. nuh-uh.” and admits himself into a psychiatric facility#and then a whole bunch of other shit happens whatever#but frankie’s like a mom pt 3 for him 😭😭😭#but he’s scared of her a bit 😭
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i get the frustration with so many villains now getting treatment like “oh they had a sucky childhood so actually you need to feel bad for them and not hold them accountable for their actions” but the counter of “this person was born evil and cant ever grow and its pathetic to assume that they can, also people cant be redeemed no matter what and this is fantastic writing actually” is so exhausting.
#like... no one is born grinning maliciously with a knife out the womb. no one starts out that way#and anything thats ever tried to portray a character that way at birth has only ever been ironically funny#idk its annoying when people are like ''actually its more interesting that the character doesnt have a motive for killing people''#like. coming off of bullet train rn but even ''this character otherwise has a perfect life but they accidentally killed and now theyre#fascinated with all the ways people can die'' is more interesting than ''idk thats just how they are *shrugs*''#like yes someone can have the perfect upbringing and social life and still turn out to be sadistic but you can still work with that#as opposed to ''they were born evil thats just how they were always gonna be SORRY''#like. idk go into that ''perfect social life and family''. what did that family value? what were the friends like?#what did that person experience outside of those things? what did they consume?#did their social standing actually breed some sort of entitlement to them? do they perhaps freak out if something doesnt go their way?#are they insecure deep down? does that drive them to it? are they a perfectionist? do they assume peoples feelings?#i remember reading this wc fancomic that explained why a character was evil and like her mom died#and the attention from her mothers death made her obsessed with being fawned over so she started medical abuse#and letting her patients die so that people would fawn over her the same way every time#and the op was like ''HEY before you yell at me shes NOT evil bc her mom died ok she was gonna turn out evil no matter what''#like... no no go into the emotional vulnerability implied there. go into the morbid introduction to slow death at a young age#go into the potential desensitization go into that. youre already willing to make her multifauceted and with positive traits#why are you afraid of implying shes even SOMEWHAT sympathetic and just want to say she was gonna do that regardless#and i fault the atmosphere around this stuff most of all like we should never have implied that giving a villain a reason to be evil#was stupid woobifying bullshit that was out of touch with reality#echoed voice
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not a sad ‘woe is me’ post so don’t send me weird messages but: the thing abt cycling through every ED possible and being bulimic for like 10 yrs & making yourself vomit up to 10x times per day on ur worst days is that your teeth and gums will eventually give out on you (bc it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve been good & it doesn’t matter how well you’ve taken care of your teeth for the last x years) and u will be 30 years old crying to your very sweet and kind dentist when she tells you about the 1 million things that are wrong with ur teeth
#anyway i feel strongly compelled to quit my job and dedicate my entire life to speaking out abt eating disorders#& doing research & writing & advocating for people who are suffering#women who are suffering#i think this is honestly my life’s calling!!!! i just don’t know where to start#you know movies glamorize having anorexia & it’s always like: she is the most beautiful girl in the world…but so sad…she doesn’t eat :(#i need to make movies that have scenes like that one chapter of i’m glad my mom died:#where jennette has been throwing up like 15 times a day and her tooth falls out#and she’s literally just like: yeah i’ll deal with that later#& instead of writing about a beautiful skinny white girl who is upset about eating carrots at inpatient#i would just force people to read/watch the things in this thread:#https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/s/H1C3JZyvFK#because that’s the reality#the one comment in that thread ‘i ate something poisonous because i hoped it would make me puke’#like yeah same. LOL. & i always thought i was the only one so fucked in the head#anyway society is very cruel to women and i need to do something about it. genuinely whereeee do i even begin#i guess i have been writing a lot abt my personal experience and all the disgusting things ppl like to avoid talking abt#and how my mother made me this way etc#i could def make a memoir out of it. maybe i’ll do that.#i would love to have more options than just. trauma porn.#ah anyway maybe i’ll open a nonprofit. IDK. i just need to make a lot of noise somehow
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?
#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want#when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving#and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)'#so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will#both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this#im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen#i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me#i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together)#everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking#because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore#so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit#last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said#'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me'#and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august#im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will#its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not#after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig#i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral#i wonder if any of them would come to mine
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YAMATO NEW NAKAMA PLEASE 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🧎🏻♀️🧎🏻♀️🧎🏻♀️🧎🏻♀️LUFFY PLEASE!!!!
#do kaido and big mom end up in the same hole??? lmaoo yamato get luffy!!! hell yes!!!#now a military trial for all the beast pirates come on!!! everyone to udon jail#APOO IS STILL ALIVE???. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!#i understand law is not on a state to be a medic but marco.... pick up some slack....#toko :((( no fucking way they are coming out of the hole..... they aren't.... the better not....#HIYORI!!!! no reunion??? :((#tama first girl to adopt a mother... also why do they have the same eyes... also is nami not enough for you.... or luffy.... your uncle...#hiyori girl dont kneel.... thats your 8 year old brother.... tama backstory omg.... tama dont cry omg.... she's gonna make me cry too...#izo is dead for real.... he was shown on the dead people highlight reel.... omg.... kinemon looking like a proud dad...#that hiyori and momo reunion.... i need more... what was that....#episode 1078#talking tag#watching one piece#who tf is that talking to the cp0...#hawkins is alive.... oh now he regrets it.... now he is dead... well.....#can't believe izo is dead... marco saying he cant believe he is alive... WELL YOU FOUGHT TWO TIMES AND THEM DID FUCK ALL WHILE IZO DIED????#i am so mad at this man you dont understand. HIYORI DROPKICKED MOMO AJSHAJA YEAHHH!!!#luffy and zoro waking up at the same time... it started with them too... oof#in my bliss of luffy winning and gear 5 and all i hadn't realised my pink haired samurai hasn't appeared in a while... i fear the worst....#i love how luffy having a meal is animated like a fight... omg zoro too... using his three head technique...#nami being the first to hit momo akdjaks. well deserved also#yamato not bathing or eating for zoro and luffy and hiyori bathing zoro ajdhskjs. omg this looks like sanji is jealous FA-#nami having to think hard about who bathes where lmao sanji and brook need an execution#OTAMA WHAT ARE YOU DOING AJDHSJSHSJ ME ASF ALSO SORRY. also where tf is robin. DID THEY TAKE HER??? oh nvm there is another group...#kid you are so right he is annoying. kill him. come on!!! SAKAZUKI DIE!!!! they just wanna make me mad atp... ALSO WHERE IS ROBIN??#episode 1079#why is there a country with a giant picture of sabo in their clock tower lmaoo#luffy looks so little beside yamato omg.... omg soul king brook ft kozuki hiyori rock version.... AND I DONT GET TO HEAR IT????#robin with her poneglyphs of course.... AND BROOK OWES HER TWO MORE!!!!#MOMOS GRANDFATHER???? AND HE TOOK CARE OF TAMA WHO HAS ORICHIS LAST NAME!!!
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