#didnt turn out as small as id said but what you gonna do about that

[fuck-i-like-too-much-stuff]

Small addition to the Professor Peem and Professor Q tag because I seriously need to focus on my studies but We Are knaws at my brain.

"You may know that since Professor Q has taken a sabbatical for the rest of semester and since his half of the syllabus is complete, your doubts can be taken up by me. Please feel free to approach me anytime, I'll be in my office." Peem ended the lecture and dismissed the class. Yet no one moved. He looked up with confusion to the lack of commotion, to see eyes of concern.

"What's wrong?" He asks, no answer.

"Guys, I said you were dismissed. Don't you have more classes today?"

"Professor Peem, are you okay?"

Peem doesn't know what his students are talking about. He looks to his feet, trying to observe what is wrong with his appearance. Yeah, his shirt is a little untucked and his tie isn't as proper as it should've been. Yeah, maybe he could've done a better job with his hair today morning. But that shouldn't be enough to warant concern from his students, to let them know that he is, in fact, very much not okay.

It was a month ago that Phum had to leave for Singapore for two months. It was a month ago that he had started to tell himself that this was not that big of a deal. It was a month ago that he was sure these two months would go by in a blink of an eye and his Phum would be back in his arms even before he could complete the blink. It wasn't until two days back, when Q and Toey left for their Europe trip did he realise that this blink felt more like an endless and painful coma.

Yet, what he doesnt realise that this syncing of his breakdown has, once again, fed the rumors of his and Q's apparent relationship.

When his students refuse to leave the hall, despite Peem's reassurances, he does so himself. The moment he does, the murmurs begin.

"Did they break up? Is that why Professor Q took a sabbatical?"

"He takes one every year, that can't be it."

"Didn't someone say that he was going on a Europe trip? Who goes on such a romantic trip without their boyfriend?"

"Maybe Professor Peem was supposed to go but they broke up so he didn't."

"That seems a little too cruel, even for Professor Q."

"Guys, you might want to look at this-"

Toey's instagram handle open on the mobile screen, it shows a photo of him and Q looking over the sunset at the Saimes River.

"A water body. Wow, maybe Professor Q is that cruel."

The next day rolls around and now that Peem has understood that his breakdowns have to be very strictly reserved for his house and Phum's daily videocalls only, he looks just as he did always. But what doesn't change still is the sympathetic looks he catches in class.

Is he still looking pathetic?

In the staff room, he catches a hold of Fai who tells him he certainly doesn't look like he spent the last night crying. Helpful.

His phone automatically calls Fang when it comes to advice regarding puffy eyes and dark circles, not because Fang cries a lot but because between the architecture firm and being in love with Tan, he does not sleep a lot.

"I told you, you need a break. Your routine is not healthy right now, and I'm sure the college will allow you a few days off."

"I have a lot of classes, Fang. And I've to take up any doubts regarding Q's half too. This is not the time for me to take a break. Now will you tell me what to do about my eyes, or should I tell Tan that you ate the donuts I brought for him?"

Ice packs after crying, eye cream and if need be so, a little bit of concealer. Concealer that he will have to buy since Fang is not sharing his, or even Tan's. "Infections, much? Plus you're not my shade nor Tan's."

He is at the department store that is supposed to have everything. Which includes his needs for today, ice cream, rose scent candles, eye cream, and his shade of concealer, and the cologne that Phum wears because he misses his boyfriend and at least the house can smell a little like him. It also includes everything one of his students had on their list as well, because he finds her trying to sneakily click a photo of Peem trying to find the cologne.

"Guys, he's buying the cologne Q wears. He misses him so much. I also saw him buy eye cream."

Actually Q does wear the same brand of cologne as Phum, mostly because Phum is the one who introduced it to him, but its not the same cologne itself. That's not a detail the fine arts student care about as much as the wrinkle count of Peem's forehead as he tries to figure out the reason behind his student's behavior before walking over to where she is.

"Can I help you Reem?"

He then watches as his student fumbles her phone to the ground, apologise repeatedly, pick up her phone which he is sure has a broken screen now, and run away.

He reiterates the whole tale to Phum when he reaches home, a long ten minute podcast of an audio. Exactly eleven minutes after, he recieves a call from the same person, the person he needs the most.

"Hey. Long day, huh?" The soft voice speaks and if Peem hadn't kept his ice cream in the fridge, it would've also melted with him.

After an hour, Phum agrees with Fang about Peem needing a break but he also knows better than to suggest it because he knows Peem couldn't bring himself to abandon his class a month before their exams. So he says, "I'll be back very, very soon. And then your students will see just how happy you can be. Okay?"

And Peem hangs on to that okay for the next month, hangs on as if for dear life. And in this month, unbeknownst to Toey himself because he really does not care for Instagram notifications when he has his P'Q in the most romantic setting of the century, Toey's instagram account gains about fifty new followers who all have the same goal- plot revenge on Q.

[ivysprophecy]

good graces

warnings: (did i write this watching a nonsense christmas? maybe?) i dont think there is any, cursing?

word count: 1061

summary: jj thinks he needs a big gesture to apologize about the previous nights' events, but when he gets back youre just as anxious to make up for your mistakes.

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masterlist

@bernardsbendystraws divider

jj's been gone an hour. i thought he was supposed to be back sooner than this?

ive been sitting in the chateau all day bouncing my leg nervously or pacing the house or throwing rocks into the water. anything to calm my nerves.

im drawing in the dirt when his bike finally pulls up to the house.

hes wearing a helmet? since when does he wear a helmet? ive been yelling at him to get one for months.

i watch as he swings his leg over the seat of his bike and takes off the helmet and shakes his head letting his hair fly free. he hates when it sticks to his ears.

then he finally sees me sitting on the poarch.

"what the hell are you doing out here?? go back inside!!" he runs up to me dropping his bag on the ground shooing me back into the house.

ive never been so shocked by something he's said before. literally jaw dropped.

"excuse me? jj im trying to talk to you- apologize to you! why are you acting like this??" i shove him back as he urges me through the screen door.

"mama you can apologize later im trying to set up your surprise youre gonna ruin it- get your cute ass inside-" he turns me back around and moves me through the door.

i let out a little chuckle with a hint of scoff "jj im still fucking mad at you- what the hell are you doing?"

"im fixing what i fucked up," he leans down and kisses me chastely before grinning, "now sit down on the couch and wait for my say so, pretty please."

"youre being awfully demanding for someone on thin fucking ice."

"it will be worth it mama i promise. please?"

okay im mad at him... but hes being really cute. i think that outweighs my guilt.

"fine... but im not waiting forever."

"it will only be a few minutes. i promise," he kisses me forehead after i sit on the couch and runs back out the front door leaving me dazed and confused.

what has this boy got up his sleeve?

after another ten minutes of nervously waiting in the house, scrolling through my phone, bouncing my leg, biting off my finger nails, i hear the sound of 'you are in love' by taylor swift blaring from a speaker outside.

and he KNOWS thats my favorite song from my favorite album.

THAT catches my attention, and im taking it as his clue to finally come outside.

when i finally make it onto the poarch i let out an audible gasp covering my mouth at the sight. this stupid amazing outrageous throughtful fucking idiot.

theres sea shells spelling out sorry on the lawn, and hes sitting there with my favorite flowers that grow from my secluded beach reading spot, a bag of my favorite breakfast foods, and two helmets for his bike. with both our intitals.

"im really fucking sorry mama... i didnt get a chance to explain myself- i swear id never do that to you. ever. i love you so much and i know how many doubts you had about us. and sarah said id probably need to reassure you and i dont really know how to do that so i just figured id do some kind of gesture and-"

i cut off his rambling but running up to him and wrapping my arms around him, probably suffocating him but i dont really care.

this is so fucking adorable.

"thank you... you didnt have to do all of this."

"what happened to being all pissy?" he looks down at me, doing a horrible job at hiding his smirk.

"shut up... im sorry i was being so crazy. i just saw that i freaked out, i wasnt thinking. im so sorry jay-"

he gently grabs my face, pressing a small kiss to my forehead, "i know... and i shouldve made it clearer what had happened and reassured you. im not good at this boyfriend stuff, but im trying. with sarahs help if were being honest."

"youre doing great jj... this whole gesture is so sweet and thoughtful. im sorry that im a crazy girlfriend who flies off the handle when the slightest thing goes wrong."

jj shrugs innocently, sitll having me in his arms, "i dont mind it. it was kinda hot."

"youre such a pig," i smile leaning up and pressing a gentle, loving kiss to his lips, "so... forgiven?"

"youre forgiven if i am."

"you already were."

i lean over and pick up the flowers hed set down so i could hug him, bringing them to my nose.

they have a faint salty smell of the ocean stuck on them, thats one of the reason i love them. that and wild flower bouquets are really freaking pretty.

"these are perfect... thank you jj- really. this is so perfect."

"im glad you like it mama... it was this or me begging on my knees for forgiveness."

"i wouldve loved either option," i joke. "and i promise i will do better to communicate more clearly," i press pause on the speaker so we can hear each other a little better.

jj sits me down on our hammock still holding me close to his side.

"i know you will, we both got shit to work through but were gonna be fine. im not givin up on you that easy."

"you put up with a lot from me."

"eh, its worth it all in the end. when we go to bed."

"god you are such a perv!" i bump him with my shoulder laughing. while hes laughing with me i find the back of breakfast food and stealthily take it from his side and start to snack on it. "god this is so good. youre an angel."

jj throws an arm around my shoulder pressing another kiss to my temple.

"eat up. im gonna clean this up before everyone gets back and makes fun of me. do you wanna keep the shells?"

i nod shoving a bite of hashbrowns in my mouth enthusiastically.

"alright then," he heads to the yard picking up all the shells and putting them in his backpack for me to keep. maybe ill make stuff out of them so we have them forever, to remember this.

like a picture frame or a coffee mug or something crafty.

[nubsdolls]

cautiiioooon!!,, slighty touchin, hobies real sweet, some gentle teasing, reader gets high with hobie, jus some fluff slash smutt, i also do not smoke so i apologize if any of the smoking parts arent true!!! but other than that enjooy!!

your back's pressed up against hobies chest, nicely placed atop his lap, in one of his, definitely way to big in size, band tees and some boxer briefs, the warm skin of your thighs rubbing against him, one of his hands resting on your hip.

he listens as you ramble on about your day and how miguels an absolute dick as he takes a long drag of his blunt before tilting his head up to blow out the cloud of smoke, not to blow it into your pretty little head.

you kind of pause, youve seen him smoke before, but you had never tried it, straying away from the substance, for no reason in particular, you didnt have anything against it, but just watching him made you a little curious.

you shuffled around in his lap a little before he firmly held onto your hips, holding you down.

"luv?, whatcha doin?" hes not sure if your aware that your grinding on him just the slightest. "hey um, bie'.. do you think i could try smoking with you?" you mutter, kind of embarrassed, of never having had smoked before.

so a few minutes later, you were seated across from each other, hobie explaining what to do, and what not.

"you dont wanna keep it in too long, yeah? but dont exhale immediately." he explained, his hands gesturing and practically talking along with him, sliding the blunt into your hand.

bringing it up to your mouth, you take a sharp drag, before exhaling, coughing from the effect, it was sweet yet a little bitter, it had a strange aftertaste to it.

he chuckled, rubbing your back and patting it gently, "you did good f' ya first dove."

leaning back a little for stability, his hands propping his up as he watched you.

"it has a weird taste, its not bad but like its kinda bittersweet." explaining, smaller coughs escaping you, your eyes stung a little. hesitantly, you took another drag, a little deeper, but softer. waiting a moment before exhaling, to your surprise, not coughing.

your eyes lit up, turning to him, hands slightly raised. he sat up, eyes glistening in admiration, seeing you excited over something so small made his heart beat a little faster.

"i forgot to tell you, this is probably gonna hit tha' hardest since its ya first.. id suggest only 2 to 5 hits.." tilting his head to look over at the blunt in your hand, then back at you.

"nah i can handle it."

yet a few minutes later, it had hit. and it hit hard.

"how d'ya feel?" he mumbled, you guys were back on your bed and his hands were on your waist, playing around with the band of your boxers. "has i' kicked in yet?"

"mhhh, i dunno, like im floating, and.. im here.." only small sounds escaped from you from here on out, inaudible babbling and giggling as you practically sank into his touch.

he genuinely laughs out loud from the state your in. "christ, ya absolutely baked luv." he mumbled through giggles, his long slender fingers making it onto the skin above the boxers, simply tracing little shapes onto your skin.

impulsively, out of nowhere, you flip over and make it so your facing him, he lifts his hand up confused, but not stopping you, your hands around his neck before you just collapse onto him.

"ya' need me so bad love? coulda jus' said so." he mumbled, his voice teasing, he moved one of his hands to your hip while the other gently ran up and down your spine.

you just spoke nonsense into his collarbone, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck, almost nipping at it.

maybe you hadnt noticed it but hobie noticed the way you started gently straddling yourself on him, he could feel the ache between your thighs, the sheer fabric of your boxers not dismissing any subtle feeling. the high combined with the grinding sensation made it so so much better, the waves almost melting your brain.

"baby.." he whines, almost pitiful, his girl's trying to get off by just pushing her hips against him. he plants the sweetest kisses to her neck, his teeth gently biting down but not breaking skin. his hands inching farther up your shirt, hands cradled around your tits.

he could feel his tip leaking with precum, she was just too precious like this, your eyes tearing up from the neediness or from the high, maybe both. you left out a frustrated whine, and who was he to deny his girl?

a few minutes of just straight, slow, sloppy, panting thrusts, filling your needy cunt all the way up, his hands on your waist, guiding you back onto his dick, your face up against the couch and holding onto the pillows to ground yourself.

while hes fucking you hes also slowly taking drags of a blunt. blowing the smoke onto your lower back as he picks up the pace, earning pornstar—worthy moans out of you. "bie—" you shuddered, so incoherent and tears almost spilling from how much pleasure you were taking in.

"cmon baby.. use ya words, yeah?" he grips onto your waist a little more, his nails digging into your skin, the warm blunt in his hand as he gently pulls out before slamming back into you, the sound of your juices and skin slapping almost a rhythm.

and when he finally cums into you its almost an out-of-body experience, like your floating, back arching so far you thought you were gonna snap. finally, he pulls out, your evident orgasms rushing down your thighs. he flips you over, gently placing kisses on your heated face.

hi guys!!! im sosososos sorry ive been gone, whole lotta school work nd i just got back from nyc.. also im not vry creative so pls send requests:( (im goin crazy)

[binniebakery]

lights off

College AU Bestfriend!Beomgyu x Gn!Reader .. not exactly fluff! kinda suggestive? ♡ Warnings: thunder? rain? ig being in the dark? my first time writing kissing .. my first time actually writing ANYTHING so it might be bad im so sorry guys ♡ A/N: this is my first little fic (if you could call it that)! i literally hate it but i think i got the point across LOLL regardless i hope someone will enjoy please lmk what you think <3 lowercase intended + not proofread ~

7:32 pm. sighing softly, you placed your phone that was softly playing your favorite tunes back down on the small table over your lap. you tapped your pencil on the table in frustration as you once again for the fifth time readjusted your legs on the bed of your best friend's bedroom. time was going by excruciatingly slow and it didnt help that this math problem was taking you a million years to solve. the sun had already set outside and heading back to your dorm seemed less favorable by the minute. hearing a soft shuffle from the other side of the room you looked up at your best friend. rain began to patter outside. looks like you'll be staying for longer than you intended. beomgyu, who had his deep-colored headphones on was moving his head to the music as he wrote down notes from his study guide. his hair softly wrapped around his features most attractively. you began to mentally trace the lines of his nose, his eyes… his lips.. the dim lighting of the room adding more charm to his aura. "y/n..? are you okay? i could feel you burning holes into my head." beomgyu said as he shook off his headphones to fully put his attention was on you. snapped out of your daze, you mentally kicked yourself as you felt embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. how long had you been staring at him for..? "sorry gyu. if i was staring i didnt mean to" you softly laughed, trying to seem nonchalant and cool about the situation. beomgyu, seeing your embarrassment, chuckled at your reaction. "youre okay, i know you look at me because im cute" he grinned and you rolled your eyes. "oh shut up! you know i was daydreaming. i cant focus on this assignment anyways, its too hard. i think im gonna just finish it tomorrow." you smiled as you threw a pillow at him. he was always cheeky when he had the opportunity. anything to see you react. "daydreaming? so you do think im cute?" he grinned wider after recovering from your pillow attack. you huffed and placed the table that was on your lap onto the ground. "you know youre so-.. ugh and what if i do think you're cute?! what would you even do about it, huh?" you retaliated as you sat on the edge of his bed, now fully facing him. you faked a pout as you were feeling a bit bolder than usual today. your homework giving you enough pent-up rage to have the energy to give in to his bickering.

"okay well i dont know how much truth there is to that but if you really meant that id probably kiss you." your eyes widened at his response. you see beomgyu's face turn into an unreadable expression. he hadnt realized you were only half joking and fully meant the compliment, but it was too late and by the time he caught wind that you were actually flustered he felt his stomach flip. even he was shocked by his own words. he slipped. had he said too much? after a few seconds of silence that felt like minutes. the rain outside seemed to get louder. his eyes finally met yours and you looked away. you felt your heart pounding at the thought of you saying too much. both of you overthinking the situation and awkwardness that you both never have had before taking place. you and beomgyu have never had an awkward moment like this. normally you both laugh things off but this time felt different. "you trust me right?" his voice sounded sincere. this tone was rare for you to hear from him but you knew immediately he was being genuine with his question. "h- huh? yeah of course.. why?" you responded. "okay well.." you noticed beomgyu was now fiddling with his headphones, it seemed like he was turning all the gears in his head to get out what he wanted to say. "y/n.. theres a chance you may have not been telling the truth but if you were- look regardless if you meant it, i meant what i said." you could feel your stomach turning. he hardly flirted with you but when he did it always felt different from his usual teasing. you never said anything though, in fear of ruining your friendship. yet you always thought about what it would be like if he also returned the feelings you felt.

the room's atmosphere seemed to change. suddenly you were both hyper-aware of his neon led light being the only source of light aside from his computer. your playlist had stopped and the silence felt unbearable. in one swift move, he stood up, and turned off the led light on his wall.

the room was a lot darker now, his computer screen's light being the only way of telling you what he was going to do next. you watched as he plopped down next to you. he was so close that you could see the slight tinge of pink on his ears. your senses began to be filled with the light scent of his cologne. "i.. look- the only way i can say or do this is if the lights are off- im not trying to be weird its just you make me so nervous.. i cant look at you." he mumbled as he looked at your hands resting on your lap. it was so dark and both your hearts were racing. "gyu.. " was all you could muster with his hands now softly on yours.

"can i…" beomgyu began as he leaned in closer, only centimeters away from your face. his eyes staring intently into yours. he had this look of pure admiration, nervousness and love. it was all too surreal. realizing what he was asking, you silently nodded as you stared at his lips. he pressed his forehead on yours, the thick tension in the air causing your body to tingle in anticipation. as you felt his hair softly tickle your features from him leaning in, your lips connected. he kissed you oh so softly as he held your cheek gently. your hands, as if moving on their own, were softly placed on his arms. his lips softly moving along your own. he was patient. it felt as if he was waiting for you to respond, unsure if what he was doing was okay with you. you moved your head to the side slightly to deepen the kiss, causing him to sigh. it was all he needed to know you felt the same. his hands moved to your waist as you settled your fingers into his long hair. softly pushing him towards you to intensify the kiss. all that could be heard was the rain outside aside from the soft exchange of sighs and hands roaming. "ive liked you for so long.. you have no idea.." he began between kisses. it was all passionate, slow, and tender as if he was handling you like glass. his hands pulled your waist impossibly closer to his. he separated first, leaving you craving for more. "trust me, i liked you so much i was so scared you didnt feel the same way despite you teasing me the way you did." you chuckled as you pecked his cheek. "you drive me insane.." he softly spoke. "y/n, every time i tried to say something.. my brain just went to mush.. its so bad i swear. i could only be this confident with the lights off.." beomgyu laughed as his eyes began to trail your facial features. he was admiring every curve and feature, and at that point, both your faces were impossibly red. "gyu.. can you just.. kiss me again..?" your voice came out hardly a whisper. "i like you so much i feel like im going insane from the way you just confessed." he smiled fondly at your words and nodded, leaning in once again. as soon as your lips touched you could both practically feel the electricity pouring through your bodies. as if on cue, thunder struck the moment you connected again. your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him, slightly tugging and playing with his hair. his arms remained at your waist, slightly circling over the shirt you wore. you could feel the warmth of his fingers through the fabric.

his tongue slightly swiped along your lips for permission, and you parted your lips in response. having his tongue explore your mouth had your brain going numb. time felt like it had stopped, with just the rain as your only witness to the quiet whispers and confessions that only you two could hear. when you both finally were running out of breath, you separated with beomgyu looking into your eyes. you stared back, lips equally as glossy as his. "are you.. going back to your dorm yet?" thunder struck once again, as if responding to his question. you smiled. "its raining a little too hard dont you think?" beomgyu chuckled, realizing how silly his question was. "yeah. youre right, i think you should stay." you bit your lip as you pulled off each other, both of you immediately missing the warmth. beomgyu shook his head fixing his now fluffed hair thanks to you as he ran his fingers through. he then stood up to turn the led light he had turned off previously back on. "so.. how about we watch a movie?" he spoke as the light clicked. you could almost burst into laughter from the question given the events that just happened a minute prior. give it to choi beomgyu, your best friend, to turn a situation less awkward by simply being his charismatic self. the personality you fell for since day one of knowing him.

"sure gyu, but.." you trailed off, shy about what you were about to say next. honestly, could this get any more awkward? "yeah?" he turned to you and tilted his head in that attractive way he does. "leave the lights off." you looked at him with a shy smile. he flushed at your words. and for the last time again, lightning struck. "yeah.. lights off" he replied, led light clicking once again.

[a-whispering-echo]

hi wanders in id love to hear more about band dusts lore if u have anything to share!!

oh my god oh my god, i love you 'if i have any to share' DUDE - this man has enough lore to fill an entire book, so much so that i genuinely forget hes a character and not an actual person.

so, im not gonna give you ALL the lore, cus, like i said, i have his stuff in my head down to the tiniest detail, and it would be like telling someone your entire life story - SO, ill give you a generalisation of his childhood!

TW in description!

Dustin Sal-in Calvateyla, or 칼바테일라, 더스틴 살인, was born intersex on February 10th 2000, to Ae-Cha Calvateyla, nee Yoon, and Joshua Calvateyla. Ae-Cha was born in Incheon, to a small family, while Joshua was born in Missouri. they met when Joshua travelled to Korea to take photos, as a photographer, and met Ae-Cha under a dogwood tree, took photos of her, and they eventually got talking.

Ae-Cha wore the pants n the relationship, confidant, bossy, she knew what she wanted and how to get it, while Joshua was more reserved, sweet but timid. the kind of guy you cant help but like.

One of Dusts earliest memories is of his dad taking him to the park, something they did regularly, to take photos with him - he had this beautiful old film camera that Dust was fascinated by, and afterwards theyd get ice cream. Dust used to always beg his dad to take photos of him too, like his model. which is funny, because nowadays, he runs from the paparazzi.

Ae-Cha and Joshua moved to the sates and got married, moving to California, and it was clear from the get go that Ae-Cha was going to be running the house. she ran a very korean themed home, from the language spoken, to the style of decoration, to the food eaten, everything was korean. So, when Dust was born, he grew up in a very korean environment, despite living in the states.

Dust was actually born in korea, because Ae-Cha booked a vacation back to her home country while heavily pregnant, and gave birth there - (she didnt want to pay the overly expensive american healthcare money, so, she cheated the system) - and they stayed there for about a month with tiny Dust.

Life was fairly formal for a few years - until along came baby Ash, Dusts little brother, when Dust was 4. he took to his brother well, and promised to love him with his whole heart.

Joshuas favourite colour was always blue, while Ae-Chas was red, and so, when Ash was born and came out with a shock of red hair, they decided to dye Dusts hair this bright blue colour - an odd choice, but something that happened. at this point, Dust had NEVER had a haircut, and so his hair was LONG, and bright blue after they dye job.

Ae-Cha was diagnosed as schizophrenic when she was 16, something she never really spoke to her family about, but that her husband was aware of. its the fact that she constantly refused help and therapy that was the issue.

She started going downhill when Dust has turned 5, Ash barely a year old, started not taking her medication, refusing any kind of help, including from her husband, and was incredibly angry all the time. she got fired from her business job for being disruptive and not doing her work on time, which only pushed her further.

One day, as Dust was playing in the kitchen, he hears his omma start screaming at his dad, who was baking some cupcakes at the time, and, with his tiny 5 year old brain, thought the smartest thing to do with all the noise going on, was hide in the cupboard, so, he went in with his little bunny toy, and peered out to watch his parents.

all he really remembers nowadays is a lot of shouting, a gun being waved, 2 quick shots and his dad falling to the floor, followed by his ommas scream, and then one more shot, as she fell down too. He remembers going over to them, staining his feet with blood, as he tried to wake them up, but they didnt, and he started feeling like something was wrong, so, in his panic, he scoops up his tiny brother from his cradle in the living room, and runs out the backdoor, and never looks back.

I.. have WAY more to the story that here, i was even expecting to write more, but i just realised how LONG this is, so, ill shut up now, but if you or anyone else wants me to continue, PLEASE DO SEND ASKS, i LOVE getting asks about my characters, but especially the band au, cus i have SO MUCH on it that i havent mentioned at all!

[aventurineswife]

Sorry to hear about the hate you received in your school days 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏

But damn, f it, gonna make this public (without using the actual legal names lol maybe just the initial) cuz i swear this was a wild ride

So a little context on me : i was bullied my entire time in middle school. And no my situation at home wasnt that much better.

A little context on the highschool too : for many years it was a vocational school before sort of expanding to have philology as well. My class was the third generation of philology.

As i said, it happened in my freshman year, it was some time in late october or early november. We were few in class, and we had math that day (obligatory for 9th and 10th grade. cant remember if i had 2 of em back to back that day), and so the teacher asked us if we minded if she brought a senior class (constructions, mostly guys) in to work on some math for their finals, and we didnt.I just minded my own business, reading from a book and eating a lollipop.

At some point i got up to throw the lollipop stick in the trash can at the back of the classroom (i was sitting that day somewhere in the middle) and thats when i hear one of the guys say loud "thats your wife!"I turn my head and one guy (not the one crushing on me, probably the one who shouted) was staring at me, and i was veeery confused. I just returned to my seat and after that, once the seniors left our classroom, my girl classmate told me one of the senior guys (B) is crushing on me. I looked at her like "girl, you pulling my leg or what?" because :

1. I am NOT conventionally attractive, i am at best average when it comes to my face. In rest, ya got an awkward trash panda, couch potato situation going on.

2. I wasnt going to believe for a second, even a small millisecond that it was real. I mean, it hadnt been long since i graduated middle school for crying outloud. That bullying put me more on the survival mode than ever

And so, for the following few months, once in a while I'd pass by those seniors (small high school ><) in the halls and they'd call out "B's wife" every time. Allegedly, the guy who was crushing on me was shy, thats why he wasnt around to talk with me or ask me out, so his friends decided to be the support gallery 😬😬😬😬

I didnt care that he had a car (as if that would woo me), that he was a soccer player, if he's a nice person, he was....i think id sound like a hypocrite if i say average looking, but wasnt a out of a teen's magazine with the face either. But he wasnt my type. And oh, smoker, which big no-no for me since im unfortunately a second hand smoker.

ONE OF HIS BUDDIES EVEN GAVE ME HIS NUMBER (allegedly). Course i didnt call it wtf.

All came to an end in May. Until 11th grade, we had a small shop within the high school from where we bought snacks, coffee, water. And that day we also had fruits, bananas and oranges. B happened to be there when i went over and he asked me for some change, i refused. And when he asked if i wanted a banana (at the time i wasnt big fan of em) i dunno why i slightly raised my voice when i refused. Maybe it was my defensiveness on high still, and he got upset. Maybe it was my tone too, dunno if he thought i thought of the mature connotation for the banana, but all i know is that after that it ended anyway.

Was i a little douchey? Maybe, but i cant blame myself much when i had to just....accept the bullying in middle school and be on high alert for the following years. Luckly i wasnt bullied in high school at all.Havent seen the guy since.

Probably moved after he graduated. But if i do, and he asks me what the hell was up with me at the time, ill just be honest on that.

-Smooch Anon 💋

Don't worry, I had those going since kindergarten because of looks and later because I was a teacher's child 😭 (never had actual friends growing up so I never knew what actual friendship was like without being taken advantage of lol)

Okay, anyways!

Wow, that's a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences, and I’m glad you felt comfortable sharing it. First off, you’re so valid for feeling the way you did during all of that. 😔 Being bullied in middle school really does a number on your self-esteem and how you approach situations, and it sounds like you were just in survival mode for a long time. Nobody should have to go through that, and it's perfectly understandable that you would be defensive and skeptical when someone showed interest in you, especially after all the crap you’d been through. 💖

It sounds like B was shy, and his friends kind of pushed him to act on the crush, but it also seems like he wasn’t super upfront or clear with you. I can understand why that would be super confusing, especially if you weren’t feeling the vibe and weren’t into the whole situation. And that banana incident? Honestly, it’s just a little awkward, and I don’t think it makes you a “douche” at all. You were protecting yourself, and that's totally understandable. 🫂 Sometimes, our past experiences make us react in ways we don’t even realize.

It also sounds like you’ve done a lot of growing since then. You’re aware of how your past shaped your reactions, and that’s a huge step. If you ever do run into him again and he asks about it, being honest about your past makes sense. People don’t always understand what others have gone through, so giving him the real story could lead to some clarity and maybe even a chance for closure.

You’re not obligated to explain yourself, but being real is always powerful, especially when it comes to situations like this. You’re not a "bad person" for your reactions—just someone who’s had to cope with some tough situations. If you ever find yourself questioning anything in the future, trust your instincts. You’ve got this! 🙌💖

[gutta-percha]

crazy intense dreams last night

it started with me at an old friends house, she wasnt there but her brother was. we chatted for a while then i decided to leave, but the house was huge and i couldnt find my way out. an older woman said 'oh arent you staying for tea? we always have it at nine exactly' i said thank you but declined, then more people started coming and it seemed like they were arriving for a party. i remember walking past them through the kitchen as they were lined up with plates as a woman was unloading things from the dishwasher (?) one of the people lined up, a young lad, spat on the floor of the kitchen as i squeezed past them. i said 'thats fucking disgusting' but no one seemed to notice or care

later, i was alone in a room with a girl who i felt like i knew, but who i cant place now. it was a fancy parlour/sitting room (the house had now become some kind of posh mansion). we were chatting and eventually she said something weird to me, like 'do you think you can make me excited?' or smth, i realised she wanted to have sex with me and i felt awkward and tried to say 'uh, no sorry' she seemed hurt and disappointed so i clarified 'no, youre really pretty but im gay and... yeah sorry if i was leading you on' or something to that effect. she took out a pad and pencil and started drawing, and i saw she was sketching a very detailed picture of a vulva. i said 'wow, thats impressive, i cant draw that well, i normally just shade in an upsidedown triangle' she laughed half heartedly. then an old woman came in and she seemed suddenly tense (her mother? grandmother?), i took the pad and flipped it to a different page and made a show of talking about the other, non-sexual, drawings with the old lady, to the girls relief. i think it was at this point actually that the old lady asked if i wanted to stay for tea... cant remember...

then i met another old friend, my childhood best friend who ive grown apart from now and havent seen in years. we hugged and reminisced about stuff. theres a gap in my memory here, but the next thing i remember is a bunch of other dudes arrived, rough looking guys. they seemed to know (friend) but i didnt know them. friend started acting cold and harsh to me and i was starting to feel uneasy. i got the impression that they wre in a gang together or some other criminal enterprise and that i wasnt welcome in their 'circle'. another gap in my memory, but then i remember them turning on me, getting beaten up, falling over and being told to stay down. we were in some kind of wooden hall at this point, reminded me of the assembly hall from school, but smaller. they were stood around as if they were waiting for something. i was asking them wtf was going on and they were sorta interrogating me in turn. friend was looking at me with contempt, i felt like it was some kind of doublecross. like hed invited me here (?) and pretended to be friendly until the other guys showed up. i gathered that it was some kind of gang thing (drugs? scams?) i remember them looking at a computer screen with, like, h4ck3r code on it. i think they were also involved in like, filming pornos or something too? a woman showed up at one point in some kind of (frankly hideous) burlesque costume with a ridiculously huge curly blonde wig on, being shown to a bed and cameras set up. idk. i was genuinely scared they were gonna murder me or something for finding out their secret. i promised i wouldnt squeal, that i didnt care what they were up to. i remember them all leering down at me. next thing, i was lifted up and set back on my feet. i was stood in the corner with two guys blocking me so i 'couldnt escape' and they continued to make mocking small talk. i contemplated grabbing the one guy and using him to kick off against the other, but i knew there were too many and id just be making the situation worse for myself

then a different guy came in, shorter than the others but seemingly a few years older than us. he was obviously coked up, and seemed to be the leader. picture the mental drug dealer from skins. he, like, looked me up and down and barked questions and orders at the guys. they were discussing what to do with me, it seemed clear i needed to be 'dealt with'. friend was talking to him and said in a blunt matter-of-fact way that he liked having me around for 'nostalgia' and that i 'liked a drink'. crazy guy said something like 'i respect a man that can hold his drink' some other stuff happened, but then basically i was let off the hook. friend stopped being cold and aloof and beamed at me as if this was some kind of initiation. all the guys were, like ,tussling my hair and ribbing on me. it was a very strange contrast.

then i remember being sat in one of those ampitheatre type seats at a cinema. friend was say next to me. i remember seeing an elderly couple sat infront of us, which felt comforting since that meant there were 'normal people' around. contemplated asking for help, but couldnt with friend and his gang around.

at this point i felt like id been there for a few days, and that they were starting to trust me so i wasnt constantly monitored. at the first oppurtunity i made a break for it and took off down one of the halls trying to find some way to escape. as i walked, the building changed and i found myself in a section that was like a school. i barged past a few classes that were taking place, until a teacher shouted 'what are you doing here?' i turned around and in my best old boot impression (real ones know) said 'i dont knooow' the whole class erupted in laughter and i used the opportunity to flee. i saw the drive and gates from the window and knew i was near the entrance. the front doors were wide open when i got there and no one was around so i walked outside, though still worried about being seen. an elderly dog sat guarding the cars and bikes barked at me, but then recognised me and came with me running along ahead. i had no idea where i was but felt that if i coud make it into the town centre i coud catch a bus home or atleast ask directions. then, as i was crossing a road an enormous whale rose over the horizon (even though there was no water around) and the dog ran up its back. i followed, finding it surprisingly easy to hold on; then i woke up.

it wasnt actually like that at all, i tried to go back to sleep and go back into the dream but it didnt work and now ive forgotten most of it.

[thornswoggled]

okay stream of consciousness thoughts about chapter 103 because that was. kind of a lot

we have to remind the reader that stella still exists

in fact lets remind them that chapter 97 happened at all

some confirmation that the new mage has a similarly aloof and misanthropic world view as other mages we already know. it doesnt matter if humans get eaten because its all toward a desirable end. reminds me very much of kyokos "the familiars eat the weak humans and turn into witches, then we eat those witches" speech. this coldness makes me think chise might be in a spot of trouble if they really earnestly try to recruit her again, or that elias may be able to have some self-satisfaction from knowing all along that their intentions are not pure

who is the "he" the apprentice wants to meet. the dragon???

this is the horniest title page weve gotten in like, a while

"dear chise. we will be running tests on you. <3" can one of them be an autism eval

okay so zoey was feeling bad because he was going birdmode. i guess when titania did whatever she did to him in chapter 99 it jumpstarted a sort of evolutionary process. strikes me as the sort of thing a creature like her would do. i imagine this will cause maximum ride-esque problems for him in public. he will have to wear a trench coat. you look like youre about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow. etc.

"atavism, atavism" ... the last time we heard that mentioned was from yori in 98. maybe warming us up for whatever this is? i have to wonder what the point of this small wing growth plot is. a result of heightened chaotic magic in the country?

this chapter takes place on my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seems fitting too, this chapter feels like "things are about to change, right fucking now," so having this all happen on the last day of the year feels right

a new scene!! pretty cool, and an allusion that the business with jasper is over and settled. it didnt occur to me until now that hes gone without any mention. gone as quickly as he showed up. SAD! well theres other guys

i dont think ill ever understand why chise is able to turn into a dragon unless its spelled out to me like im five. especially since the type of dragon that cursed her isnt even the same kind

"causes and factors attract and amplify each other" = "the shape goes into a shape press that presses the shape into a pressed shape"

elias is capable of bridal-carrying someone who isnt chise but hes tangentially linked to chise so it doesnt really count

a precious few pages dedicated to the fact that joseph may have at one point known how or why elias was "made." the type of creature he is is a "shadowborn," but this feels like a new translation of something that used to be called something different. elias notes that fae call him "shadowborn" as well. is this a reinterpretation of "half-made" or similar phrases?

also, i like elias' insistence that joseph cough up any information he has. yes, elias, id like to know too, keep shaking that boy

joseph bluntly demanding that chise carry him and her just being like. okay. your honor i love them they are total freaks of nature

confirmation that when chise said "priors...?" it means that she never found out that elias used to throw away her college recruitment letters. that was pretty damn funny

so theres a chance this "beyond the great wall" line did not mean what i thought it meant and now the egg is probably on my face. yamazaki listen to me very closely. what did you mean by that. besides yet another "well well well chise it looks like youre going to finally be cured of your lucky girl syndrome and bad shit will actually start happening to you for real now" line because we have GOTTEN that already

im gonna level with you i dont know who hilda is. are we supposed to know who hilda is? is she the st georges mom? she might be. she probably is. okay i just looked it up and she is

and shes flying to iceland! presumably to consult with lindel about all this dragon business. i wonder if this will be the event that prompts him to appear in london where he has that tense standoff with chise and elias

i have no idea what the bottom half of the last page is trying to communicate, who is speaking, etc

so yeah this all very much feels like a "things are ramping up and heres where all the respective parties we care about are right now" chapter. a lot to chew on

[midnightmisadventures]

Okay lets play fair and give edward some points

Cause we all know who Bella ends up with

Okay so i need to bring you up to speed on 2 dreams ig

Dream 1:

I was doing my usually dreaming at high school bs and at the end of the day trying to find my bus. It was foggy and rainy and dream dark so I go to the bus I think is mine, and i dont realllyyy recognize the bus or driver but i also hadnt been in a long time and wasnt confident what i remembered. Basically i asked the guy what number it was and he dream mumbled and said "seats 11, blank and blank) are available vibes.

So im still not sure, but i start walking down the isle to the empty seat and then i get to it, and sitting in the one across is Liam. And as i approach we just look at eachother like...uhhh somethings wrong cause we do not share a bus.

He was wearing the famous blue hoodie and it was scrunched around his face. And i said "well, if youre here im definitely on the wrong bus" and he was like "yeaaaaa.....your prob on the wrong bus" but not in a mean way.

So i quick decide, im gonna leave while i still can. Seeing liam is a funny gag but i just want to get home so id rather be on the right bus.

So i turn around to get off and Liam starts going "wait wait wait, arielle" its now that i see he's sitting in his seat with another girl.

The girl is ...... hawkins....like the chocolate. But regardless i turn back around and he's motioning me to come back. And i go like "what?"

And he says "hey, if the bus driver hasn't said anything i wouldn't leave" basically saying "if you havent gotten caught why leave?" which isnt what i was worried about btw. I just wanted to be on the correct bus home. But liam was phrasing it as, like "aww cmon stay, itll be fun, no ones making you leave"

So fine.

I sit down in the seat next to him. And he seems to be happy about it. So we're riding and i think we're doing small talk. But he's also actively bantering with hawkins and im like.....why did i impulsively stay on this bus to be near him if hes with another bitch. Like i didnt notice who she was till too late?

So theyre like playfully bickering. Like not even flirting bc they were already together.... And i hear her be like "uh you cant do that, i LIVE with you, thats so inappropriate, your girlfriend lives with you you cant do that"

I have no idea WHAT he couldnt do, or what they were talking about. But they were joking around and now i knew that they were not only together but hawkins livesss with him.

But then Liam sort of comes over to my seat and starts talking to me again, sort of making jokes. And im trying to not be weird bc he clearly has a girlfriend so even if i did want to be close to him i felt like i couldnt.

But now he's like super close to me, i cant ignore him, he's being sweet and playful and cute. He evenutally, puts his bag on my lap and sprawls out laying on me. Like lays on my lap like he's gonna take a nap.

And i was like he's so cute, but is this crossing a line? Like i can't caress him or play with his hair or feed into this right? His gf is RIGHT there.

So after a little i feel like he could tell i wasnt reciprocating like, he was expecting me to hug on him and play with his hair but i wasnt. But also it mattered that i wasnt like "get offfa me" when he layed on me. Like i was fine with him laying on me and smiled and giggled but i thought it be to far to cuddle him.

And he noticed i wasnt biting so he sat up.

Around then i noticed hmmm, omg is that joel and chris and jake and brighton?? type beat. Like is that christian c**v**t.

So im realizing omg wait is this bus 99? Which isnt technically my current bus but i do know this route i should be able to figure out when to get off. Even if i get off a chip i can uber home.

But honestly im shocked, it wasnt even just bus people it was just highschool people and.....yea most of them were guys.

But i was confused because why was LIAM here. He was never "on my bus"

But suddenly im more comfortable, like wait i know A LOT of these people. I have to know more than him? Like this is actually my territory not his. He doesnt have homecourt advantage....he just has a girl.

And he wasnt.....rubbing hawkins in my face. But cmon im human he's living with his girl and theyre giggling like an old married couple like i WAS jealous.

So i turn around and see christian/donald h****n and im like "hey i thought i was on some random bus, and now i see all of you guys thats wild is this my same bus from before"

like explaining omg i used to be on here i think? or at least i know a lot of these guys used to be on my bus so i know what neighborhoods we're going to.

So im like trying to catch up with Donald and figure out whats going on here. I also wasnt flirting but it felt good to know like...at least i have friends i can talk to and pretend to look cool. Im not isolated and liam wont think im a loser.

But Donald says.....i dont even know how to describe it lol. Donalds like "yea but...i don't even think we utilized our time together, like we didn't kiss, did we?

And...your guess is as good as mine. He was also being so cheeky about it, like "wait we didnt right?....*blushes* i dont even remember us kissing once >.<"

As if thats the bare minimum, how could we not have even done that? we really wasted our time together

But....i've never- , like it was Donald H****n!!!

So immediately im like "no no, thats not what i meant" kinda blushing kinda giggling uncomfortbly lol. Cause like im flattered really but no we never kissed and its not like i asked you if we ever made love lmaoooo like im not talking about that

I also remember being concious that Liam was in earshot and was like oooh i wonder what he's thinking, he must think im a popular hottie. But i dont have confirmation that he heard

Lots of symbolism i know....

Anyway, there isnt much else.

At one point we stopped somewhere and Liam said like "arielle, do this this and this here and theyll help you get home" and it was actually really sweet of him. I remember being grateful that he went out of his way to help me navigate cause he didnt have to....and i was confused where his head was at with me and......karmic. Lol it is not even worth it to call hawkins karmic. SHe didnt even earn that title.

[pastanest]

alright grab a cuppa lemme tell u the deets

here are the characters

me: 💃🏻 21 y/o jude 2nd year of med school (i failed second year so am currently repeating)

friends: 👭 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ 🧍🏽‍♀️diff colors to differentiate (four of them are in third year med/dentistry, one is a different major so no shared classes)

these are my closest friends. (except one will make sense later) ive had a hard year and had to resit some exams (obvi didnt turn out well lol) and they were with me all throughout. two (yellow twins) also resat some exams with me. they are twins irl lol, im close to one (twin #1) not the other (twin #2). twin #1 passed her exams and moved on to third year. twin #2 didnt. at first

DUN DUN DUN

two months into uni the admin called twin #2 into the office and told her they made a mistake and she didnt fail ! of course i was so glad she didnt have to repeat the year but also i was so pissed that the uni did this to her!! this isnt a small mistake! and she missed a third year exam which she will have to retake on her own time. i was like ummm if i were u id be so pissed at admin but its chill that ur not i mean to each their own i guess 🤷‍♀️

THEN twin #1 (the one i was close to) started texting me paragraph after paragraph about how i shouldnt “be such a karen” and if i say anything to anyone id get twin #2 in such trouble and that i shouldnt be jealous (never said i was???) and loads and loads of things like that. i got pissed. i told her i wasnt gonna tell anyone and that i didnt really wanna discuss this. with anyone, let alone her.

THEN it spread to the rest of the girls. this girl 🧍🏾‍♀️ my closest friend out of them all started being super mean. she was like “its not like your grade was so close to passing anyways why do you care?” 😐 no words.

THEN i was super sad about all this and i texted 🧍🏻‍♀️i was like i feel like everyone hates me and im not sure what ive done wrong. then she said ‘maybe look through ur texts with all the girls and apologize for whatever needs apologizing for” … i said ‘do u know something i dont’ she said ‘i do but i cant tell u’

what in the middle school ass shit is this???

- 🍌

ok first of all u and twin 2 are better than me bc I’D have been petty enough to go to the admin myself n be like “tf are you playing at lmao?? 😀” and that’s not being a Karen in the slightest it’s sticking up for your friends like ??? where is the issue lol. Karen’s get unreasonably irate about minor/non-issues…this is FAR from that

your entire friend group ganging up on you like that? YIKES AND A HALF. shocking behaviour from supposed adults I’ll be honest. think I saw these lot having a meetup the other day actually, though I recognised them from somewhere 🤔

it’s worth clarifying that you’d have every right to feel jealous/sceptical of your own grade based on the admin failure, but that’s entirely irrelevant anyway bc that’s clearly not what you were acting on?? you were pleased for your friend and wanted to back her up if she was pissed, which you would’ve been in her position and were FOR her? jfc.

add me to this groupchat I’d like to box them out xoxo

[ivysprophecy]

coincidence

warnings: this isnt a very... girls girl chapter XD got inspo from that one scene in oth where haley slaps daneel ackles lol sooo underage drinking, cursing, drinks thrown in faces, hair pulling, reader being difficult XD idk what else

word count: 1490

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masterlist

summary: things with jj had been great, steady even. it was a whole month of pure bliss, so is it a coincidence that you predicted this was gonna happen?

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

things have been so great. jj and i have been great i should say rather. its likes nothing has changed but it has in the best ways.

and no ones said anything. no questions no pestering.

just us.

its been about a month since that day on the beach and to be truthful the sneaking around, stolen kisses, and small touches, its been so much fun.

granted i dont like lying to all of our friends but i think its been beneficial to our relationship. theres no pressure of any watchful eyes.

and its very helpful when they expect all the touching and glances anyway so like i said, its been easy and thrilling,

which leads us to now at a bonfire in the boneyard dancing and drinking and relaxing.

"im gonna go get another drink okay j?" he pats my thigh giving me that damn smirk.

"bring me one too mama, just a cup from the keg."

"you didn't use your manners maybank," i stand up looking back at him with a teasing smile.

he rolls his eyes tilting his head back pretending to be fed up with me. "please mama?"

"i suppose i can do that." i send him a wink. "ill be back in a minute, dont miss me too much."

"oh i miss you already," he smiles knowing exactly what its doing to me. hes sitting against the rocks with his legs spread and his arm splayed next to him resting against where i was sitting.

fuck he looks good. wanna take him home and climb him like a damn tree.

unfortunately to get to the keg i have to pass through the crowds of tourons, kooks, other pogues. its a giant mess of music, drama, and body odor.

with a few excuse me's and shoves i finally made it to the keg and coolers that house my preferred rum and cokes. i make my drink before grabbing jj's, marking the cups appropriately with one of the sharpies laying around.

ive only had three so its still legible.

doing my best to push past the crowds again with out spilling my drinks it takes a little longer to find my way back to my boyfriend.

who, when i turn past a group of people, i see him leaning against the rocks with some girl shoving her tongue down his throat. aggressively might i add.

so i do what any rational person would do in this situation. i threw my drink on her.

"fucking bitch!" i pull her off of jj by her obnoxiously long, thick, and blonde ponytail, "who the fuck do you think you are!? huh?! you like being a boyfriend stealing slut?"

"woah! woah? y/n-" i feel someone wrap their arms around my waist and pull me away from the girl, "take a breather i can explain-"

oh tell me he did not just say that.

"you can explain? you can explain how im gone for five fucking minutes and youve already got some dumb fucking touron wrapped around your finger? fuck that maybank! and fuck you!"

"mama! mama slow down! okay listen- just for two seconds listen to me!"

"i fucking trusted you!"

"you still can! i didnt kiss her!"

everyone has their heads turned in our direction at the sound of us bitching at each others face. including our friends.

this night just got shitty and its about to get a whole lot shittier. im not drunk enough for this. but somehow im also too drunk for this. you know what i mean?

"mama i wouldnt do that to you- cmon you know me. id never hurt you on purpose," jj pleaded for my sympathy.

i dont know if its the alcohol, the rage, or a combination of tonights events with the two. but i cant fucking deal with this right now.

"jj i saw you kissing her! dont fucking lie to me right now. i told you this wasnt gonna work. that it would be too much, too confusing, and that one of us was gonna do something the screw it up! but i prayed to god that it wouldnt be you j! and i NEVER wouldve thought itd be this soon. but i guess thats for the best right?"

"no! no its not- fuck. mama listen i didnt kiss her back! okay?! she was trynna feel up on me and talking about the island and shit and i tried to blow her off but she just-"

oh my god im seeing red.

i dont know whats true. i saw what i saw. i saw them kissing, and his body language didnt seem to convey that he didnt wanna be kissed. but maybe i saw it wrong? could i have? no. theres no way.

a good girlfriend would believe him, but isnt that just naive of me? what if he didnt want do this... i dont know. i dont know, theres no way. this is exactly what i was afraid of.

"jj dont start- i dont wanna hear it right now. i cant. i just cant. im done! im fucking going home. have fun with your little blonde!"

he goes and reaches for my arm trying to keep me close, letting out an exasperated sigh. "how are you getting home?"

"thats all youve gotta say right now? un fucking believable. ill walk home for all i care j but you need to let go of me right now."

"youre not fucking walking home y/n-"

"yes i am," i yank my arm from his grasp "and dont you dare follow me jj. im not afraid to have this fight right now but trust you dont want that. because you will stay single."

god i really wish i hadnt said that.

and with that i walk away without looking back. because i just cant help making things worse, its what i do best. i can already hear all the rest of the pogues running up to him with all these questions and i have no fucks left to give about it.

if he doesnt wanna answer them he can go back to the blonde girl. i wont be surprised.

what i am surprised about is to have john b run up behind me, turning me to face him gently.

"hey- um youve been drinking i dont really think you should walk home alone," john b, always playing hero.

"ill be fine jb. really. go back to sarah and jj ill be fine."

"you keep saying youll be fine but you look like youre about to cry."

damn. am i? i reach up to touch my face and feel a small trickle fall from the corner of my eye.

"look i wont bombard you right now just- let me walk you home? please? make sure youre safe?" i cant lie, itd be nice to know someone gives a damn about me right now.

"thanks john b... thats actually really nice of you," i wipe my tears away and sniff away the cracks in my voice.

how could i be so stupid? i dont do stuff like this. ever. and i just let it happen.

but i'm not wrong am? it cant be a total coincidence that i specifically brought this up with him and this is how it ends?

"... so... you and jj?"

"i thought you werent gonna bombard me?"

he throws his hands up in surrender "its only one question."

i sigh, throwing in the towel because one, hes my friend and he deserves to know. i shouldnt have lied to any of them. and two, it would feel nice to get some of this off my chest. "yea. me and jj. for about a month now.."

"a month??"

i send him daggers with my eyes warning him this is not the time as we walk down the dirt road that leads home to the chataeu.

"sorry- youre right. i wont bug you about it yet."

"yet," i let out a laugh that sounds bitchier than i meant it to be, "im sorry we didnt say anything... i was kind of afraid of this exact thing happening. wanted to keep it low key."

"i get it..." he leads me up to the door where he pauses for a minute. "but y/n/n, for what its worth i think you should hear him out. jj has done a lot of things, but cheating on you? thatd never be one of them."

i open the screen door taking off my flip flops as he speaks, unsure of how to take his suggestion.

"youre a really good friend john b. honest. but i need a little space from all of the jj talk right now. tell sarah im sorry i stole you from the party. have fun."

he nods understandingly, watching me flop onto the couch before walking back down the road.

i stare up at the ceiling thinking about how everything went so wrong so fast until sleep takes over.

[strawberry-jammers]

a child to protect (pt 3)

tommy x child!reader || a fun time

tommy gets cloths for (y/n) to wear in the tundra, and has a little fashion show

pt1 pt2 pt3 pt 4

The next morning Tommy got up to steal more things, and make (y/n) more clothes for colder climates. Tommy whent outside to get some wool, having stolen everything he wanted from technos. He needed to get some supplies for his kid.

Tommy opened the door from the basement, walking outside to the cold air. It smelled of winter goodness and blood. Tommy didnt pay to much mind, not even to the fact he was supposed to be hiding. Tommy started his walk to the forest for some sheep. “I think blue would be a good color, ghostbur would love it-”

“HEH tommy what are you doing near my home??” ah. He forgot about the blade. “Hey hey man hahaha funny seeing you here!” techno growled. “It's literally my home, what are you doing here?” tommy looked at the blade. “This is my home! Technoblade i think you've gone a little crazy there bud.” techno pulled out a pickaxe. “Ill sick this threw your teeth, get out of my house tommy.” “blade blade, this is our house! We own it together-” techno was tired of this. “Wait how long have you been here??” tommy grabbed a grapple. “A day or so.” he bite the golden apple. “That's where all my stuff whe- wait is that mine!!!” tommy walked back inside, albeit quickly and panicky. “Finders keepers, besides it was in our house.” “IT'S LITERALLY NOT YOUR HOUSE!” tommy shook his head, eating the apple. “Do you have any wool or something to make cloths with? I need to make some.” “yeah, your outfit is atrocious, it's also torn up and dirty and stuff.” tommy yelled back, “NOT FOR ME BITCH!” techno stood there a bit confused, until he heard a bell sound from below them. “hEH??”

before

 (Y/n) sat in the room, playing with the stick Tommy gave them months before. They had to wait for their dad to come back, but after awhile they got restless. 

(Y/n) heard loud noises upstairs, but they were more determined to find something new to do. Looking around the room, they saw a gold bell next to the prime log. Eyes sparkling, they crawled over to the bell, holding their stick in hand. Sitting next to the bell, they touched the shiny thing, intrigued. They then had a bright idea

Beat the thing with the stick. 

So they started to bang the bell with the stick. It was loud, very loud, they soon stopped and started crying instead. They were really close to the bell and hurt their ears. A faint “hEH'' was heard upstairs, but (y/n) couldn't hear it over their crying. Tommy quickly climbed down the ladders to get to his child. “Hey hey, shhh it's okay, are you hurt?” tommy asks. Rushing over to the small child. They kept crying, Tommy not knowing what to do. “Shh shh hey hey it's okay, it's okay.” he said softly, trying to calm the child. (y/n) over time stopped crying, feeling more and more sleepy as time went on, all the while techno just stared at them, rightfully confused. Tommy rocked his baby till they fell asleep, placing them in their crib. Tommy looked at his child happily, before turning to the person he was fighting a second ago.

“So, got any wool?”

------

Techno, albeit against his will, let tommy and (y/n) stay with him for the time being. In exchange, they had teamed up for the time being. Techno didn't really like his predicament, having to deal with an annoying brat and an orphan, but he had to go with it. The voices enjoyed having the baby around, so techno couldn't kill them.

Shortly after their confrontation, techno went out to gather wool for the two. Tommy took what he had and started to make more clothes for the child. He had learned the basics of sowing from eret way back when, so he tried his best. 

"(Y/n), try this on." The baby looked at him, just wanting to play with the crows that visited often. "No." Tommy sat there, baffled. "D-did you just tell me no??" "No!" "Okay well now you just lying." The kid giggled, continuing to pet the crows. Tommy grabbed his kid, sitting them on his lap. "Your trying this on." The kid pouted, but complied, slipping on the sweater. "Good?" The kid nodded, crawling off tommys lap and sitting with the crows again. 

Tommy sat there for a second, contemplating. "How the fuck do i make pants…"

Tommy had to ask techno if he knew how. He didn't, since he's never had to make pants, so he asked Phil if he had any baby cloths or if he knew how.

“Helloo” techno says as he enters phil's home. “Jesus christ- you know your not allowed in limburg tech.” techno shrugs. “Eh, anyway i came here for something.” phil nodded. “What is it that you need? Ore, food, books-” “i need baby clothes.” “WHAT-” phil wasn't expecting that request. “I need baby clothes, got any? I know wilbur was once a kid so.” phil looked at his old friend questioningly. “Do you have a kid??” techno looked very offended at this. “Ew no id never adopt an orphan. No, tommy needs it.” phil was still confused. “Techno, tommys not a baby-” “NO NOT LIKE THAT! He found a kid so now he's raising them, and they need baby clothes.” phil nodded. “Ohh sorry mate, yeah i think i have some of wilburs old cloths. Lemme go check.”

Phil came back with a bag full of wilburs old clothes, he said just to take it and see which would work for a baby. 

“I wish i could come visit, but tubbo needs me for some fucking reason.” techno nodded. “Thank you phil.” philza smiled. “Anytime, now go, make sure tommy didn't kill any of the animals.” techno panicked. “NO THE TURTLES-” 

------

“Okay little (f/i), we’re gonna try this on okay?” (y/n) nodded, ready for the cool new outfit they are gonna get. 

Tommy pushed a mirror in front of the child. “You like it?” they baby wore a striped yellow sweater with some cute little overalls. They also had snow boots and a beanie to go with it. (y/n) smiled, giggling partly at the fact that they were looking at themself. “You look cute big man! Now, lets see if there's anything else you might like.” 

The rest of the day was spent picking out clothes for them, seeing what fit and what they liked. Tommy was having fun with this, so he suggested they do a fashion show for when philza could visit. The kid was excited at this, wanting to meet the all so old philza minecraft. Tommy took care of the clothes that they didn't like or just plain wouldnt fit, while (y/n) messed with the toys that were found in the bag. 

“TECHNOOOO!” tommy yells, climbing up the ladder. “Whaaat.”he says, in the main part of the house. “Can phil come here tomorrow???” techno climbs down the ladder to meet the loud child. “Why?” tommy throws the bag in a random corner. “(y/n) wants to meet phil and show them their outfits.” tommy says, not as loud as before. Techno sighs. “Ill see if he can.” YEEEES!!! (Y/N) (Y/N) I HAVE GOOD NEWS-” tommy yells, climbing down the ladder as fast as possible. Techno chuckled, getting back to what he was doing prior.

The next day, phil came by as requested. He was excited to meet the young child, remembering when wilbur was young. Philza opened the front door of the cottage. “Helloooo.” techno says as always. “Hey mate, how's the wife?” techno snorted. “Great great, sitting in the boat as always.” they stare at edward who was staring at them as always. “In all seriousness, whos taking care of tommy been?” he asks, sitting down at one of the chairs. “Fine fine, nearly lost my hearing but other than that fiiine.” phil chuckled. “yeah he’ll do that.”

Tommy came up stairs, hearing the new presence come into the house. “Phiiilza, big p how you beeeen!” philza stared at him. “Don't call me that. I've been fine, visiting tech whenever i can. I heard your raising a baby? How's that going.” tommy sat in the chair next to the old man. “Great! (y/n)s been great, having spent some time alone, their happy with the constant attention.” tommy says happily. “What do you mean by alone?” phil asked, concerned on what he meant by that. “Uhh, anyways me and (y/n) wanna put on a little show for you! They wanna show off their new outfits.” phil let it slide, not wanting to pry to hard. “Aww mate, i wanna see the outfits.” tommy smiled, running off. “TECHNO SET THE STAGE. (Y/N) GET HYPED!!” techno snorted, displeased.

Philza chuckled at his old friend. “First i let him into my home, not killing his child, and now i'm doing shit for him? Ugh.” techno works on the little stage area for the two kids. “Calm down mate, he's just excited.” techno rolled his eyes, sitting next to phil. 

“WE’RE BACK!!” startling the two old men, Tommy runs up the stairs with (y/n) covered in a small blanket. He says the outfits are a surprise.

“Ready everyone?” phil and techno say yes while (y/n) says no, their favorite word. “Youre not ready (n/n)?” (y/n) shook their head. “Hat!'' Tommy gasped. “Your hat!” tommy grabs (y/n)s hat from the pile that he brought up and put it on their head. “There! Now you ready?” the kid nodded, getting ready for the fashion show they had been preparing for. 

“Okay!! Go little (f/i)!” (y/n) crawled their way in front of the curtain that blocked the old men from seeing the other two. They tried to stand up, having the help of Tommy to get on their feet. They stood proudly, showing off their winter outfit. They adorned a dark green winter coat, with black pants and little snow boots. They also had a grey beanie to add to the outfit. 

They continued this, philza thoroughly enjoyed the show they had put on, and techno thoroughly hated it. He kept trying to leave, but Phil kept dragging the piglin hybrid back to his seat. He didnt wanna ruin the fun the two were having. 

"Tadaaa!!!" (Y/n) said, having finished the show. Phil clapped happily, while techno slowly clapped as to not be the only one not clapping. Tommy picked up the small child, holding them in his arms. "That was fun, right little (f/i)?" Tommy asks. (Y/n) nodded, giggling happily. "Fun!" Philza laughed, standing up. "I better get going, Don't want ghostbur getting worried." "Awwwww buy you haven't fully met (y/n) yeeeet." Tommy complains, Phil just laughs at him. "I'll be back eventually. Now i have to go. Bye (y/n), you did really well back there." "No!" (Y/n) says, even tho they looked pleased with the compliment. 

"Bye everyone, have fun cleaning that up." Phil says, referring to the stage and piles of clothes. Techno snorts in annoyance while Tommy just ignores phil's comment. Philza leaves the house, closing the door behind him. 

"Anyways, have fun with that techno!!" "Oh no you don't! GET BACK HERE!!!"

[kylie-writes-stuff]

“wife”

pairing: corpse husband x reader (female)

words: 1,714

requested?: no (send some in tho pls :) )

plot/summary: felix invites his friend, y/n, to play among us when they need an extra player. her and corpse get along well

authors note: so this isnt that good and i know a lot of corpse fics use a similar plot. i just wanted to try to write for corpse. hopefully things i write for him in the future are better. let me know what you think tho! also i really wanted reader to be best friends with karl bc i love him sm. uh every swiggly line is like a small time skip. this was written late at night btw and i didnt take much time to go over it

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

You sat up from laying down when you heard your phone ring. You looked at the caller ID.

Felix.

"What's up Felix?" You ask with a small yawn.

"Aww, how sweet," You hear in the background.

You giggle and ask, "Is that Sean? Hi Sean!"

"Yeah, we're playing Among Us and need an extra player. You down?" Felix explained.

"Sure, just give me a few minutes. See you soon, whore"

"Bitc-" You hang up before he can finish.

You got up and turned off your TV, going to get ready. 

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

You quickly tweet out that you're going live and say something on your insta story as well. You start your stream and slowly watch people flood in.

"Hey everyone! How are you guys doing?" You wave and smile, reading the chat.

"Everyone doing good, awesome! And i'm sorry to anyone having a bad day. I hope i can brighten it a bit!"

"Okay, sorry i didn't give you a further notice. I didn't even know i was gonna stream. Felix invited me to play Among Us so... here we are!"

You quickly join the discord and pull up the game, putting a cover over where the code goes.

"Hello?" You ask as you join the call. A chorus of greetings came your way.

"(Y/n)?"

"Karl!" You smile brightly.

Karl Jacobs was a good friend of yours. You would play on the Dream SMP sometimes. When you would, it would mostly be you being stupid with Karl and Alex, also known as Quackity. You were even a well know citizen of El Rapids.

"LET'S GOOOOO!" He yelled, making you laugh.

"Hey (Y/n), do you know everyone here?" Sean asks you.

"Um," You quickly scan through the names, "no, i don't think so."

You recognized names but you only personally knew Felix, Sean, Karl, and Ethan.

"Oh my god! Your voice is so cute!" Pokimane exclaims.

You giggle softly, "Thank you Poki!"

You're voice wasn't high pitched or anything like that, you just always spoke very softly and calmly. You were also a bit quiet.

Felix introduces you to those that you didn't know.

"There's one more person we're waiting for," He says.

While everyone waits, you and Karl run around each other's little characters and make jokes between yourselves. You mute yourself to read donations every once in a while.

You hear the discord chime, signaling that someone joined the call.

"WAIT CORPSE! DON'T SPEAK YET!" Felix yelled. "We have a new player. This is my friend (Y/n), say hi to her"

"Hello (Y/n)," Corpse said. You were taken aback by how deep his voice was but you didn't show it.

"Hi Corpse! Nice to meet you!" You said happily.

"Okay, how is she not freaking out?" Bretman said, making everyone laugh.

"Uh, (Y/n), do you mind letting me have black? It's cool if not.." Corpse asked gently.

"O-oh sure, no problem." You were usually black with the pink flamingo hat, but you ran over to the little computer and changed your color.

"Simp," Ethan mumbled, knowing you never switch from black.

"Thank you," He said, then the game started.

The word “Imposter” appeared on your screen in red, yours and Corpse's characters underneath.

As the game started, you thought no one could hear you so you spoke to your chat. "His voice was so deep, what the fuck? Holy shit that was hot, i'm gonna-"

"(Y/n)," Rae laughed, "You know we're playing proximity chat, right."

You blushed as you realized and said "Ha, anyways..." and ran to start faking tasks.

You ended up in electrical with Karl. "(Y/n)! My good friend, my buddy, you would never kill me right? Haha..." He said.

"Of course not, Karl! My good friend, my buddy. Why, I'm not even imposter," I said as i quickly dipped into the vent and back out, making him laugh.

I decided to show him because I knew Karl wouldn't say anything, and it's funny.

"Oh that's good then. Are you sure you're not imposter?"

"Mhm, pretty sure," You said, going back in. As you came out, Sykkuno walked in and froze.

"Uh, (Y/n)?"

"Fuck... Karl run! Go!" You said, Karl starting to leave. You walked closer and quickly killed Sykkuno then vented to security.

"That was close..." You told your chat.

You saw Corpse as you made your way around the map and walked into navigation.

"Hey, Corpse, how ya doing?"

"Ah you know, good. Just being crewmate and all."

You stifled a laugh, "Oh yeah I feel that, buddy."

"Yeah because there's no way that i'm imposter. No way i could be faking tasks and there's no possible way you could be the other imposter" He said quickly.

"For sure. Hypothetically speaking, though, if you were imposter, how many people would you have killed by now?"

"I would say probably around two."

"Interesting," You said right before a body was reported. It was Sykkuno's. Felix and Rae were also dead.

"WHAT!" Corpse yelled.

"Where was the body at?" Sean laughed.

"Uh I found it in electrical," Bretman said.

"I'm pretty sure Karl was in there earlier."

You calmly said, "It's not Karl, I was with him for most of the round."

"How do we know the two of you aren't imposters?" Sean asked.

"I was alone with him, he would have taken the chance to kill me."

"No, he's your best friend."

"He's also ruthless,"

"TRUE! SO TRUE!" Karl yelled.

"So skip?" Corpse asked.

Everyone agreed and the voting was skipped.

The next round, I spent with Ethan. He was pretending to be mad at me because Sean said Karl was my best friend.

"What happened to Blue Boi Buddies, huh?!" He exclaimed.

"Neither of our hair is even blue anymore!" You argued back.

You were in reactor with him when Corpse and Poki walked in. He hit the lights and you took it as a sign to double kill. He killed Poki, you killed Ethan, and the two of you made your way to electrical to help fix lights.

You and Corpse went the opposite direction of reactor after the lights were fixed, Karl going with you.

Poki's body was reported. That double kill only left you, Corpse, Sean, Karl and Bretman. You only needed two more kills.

"I still think it's Karl and (Y/n)," Sean said quickly.

"I was with (Y/n) the whole time," Corpse said, "In fact, I think it's you."

"That does make sense. Why so quick to accuse others, Sean?" You ask.

"It's not me!" He yelled.

"I actually agree with Corpse and (Y/n)," Bretman said.

"I was with you!"

We all voted for Sean, him voting for Karl. Sean was ejected.

When you load into spawn, you wait for the kill cool down and kill Bretman, saving Karl.

"Victory" appeared on your screen.

"God damn it!" Sean yelled.

"Good job, (Y/n)," Corpse said lowly.

You smiled, a slight blush on your cheeks, "You too Corpse."

"Their voices go together and they're a fuckin dream team? What have i done...," Felix sighed.

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

A few more games went by. Most of them you and Corpse spent together, whether you were both crewmates or if one of you was imposter.

You really enjoyed his company and you actually got along with him pretty well.

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

"(Y/n), before we get serious, I have one question to ask you." Corpse said as both of your characters stopped.

"What's that?" You giggled.

"Do you know Bingus?"

"Bingus? As in, our lord and savior, Bingus?"

You could hear the smile in his voice, "It's settled, you're my wife now."

This made both of you laugh and your chat go crazy.

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

Eventually, people had to start leaving. You said your goodbyes to everyone and left the discord call and the game.

You set stream to where it was just your face cam.

"Guys, what should we do now?"

You saw some people asking what time it was for you.

"It's 3 AM right now... I’m not tired though.” You had been streaming for a few hours; You never even noticed how late it got.

People in chat were yelling at you to go to sleep, making you chuckle.

“How about we do a quick QnA, then at 3:30 I go to bed. Deal?”

You watched as the chat filled with questions. They obviously seemed to like the idea.

“‘Who is your best friend? Karl or Ethan?’ Neither, Alex Quackity. Next question.” You answered quickly.

You laughed, “I’d like to clarify that that’s a joke, i love all my friends equally.”

You answered more questions. Some were from new viewers asking basic questions, some were about future streams and videos. 

“‘How do you feel about people shipping you and Corpse?’“ People are already shipping us?” You laughed, “I’ve said before that I’m okay with shipping, as long as the other person is too. I think it’s funny.”

You continued to read chat. “Wait, we’re trending?”

You checked Twitter and “#(your and corpse’s ship name)” was trending in the US.

You laughed as you scrolled through the tag, “Oh this is so funny.”

“Fanart already?! You guys are so talented!”

You read chat, looking for more questions. You saw people telling you that it’s 3:30.

“Okay fine, a deal’s a deal. I hope you all have, or had, a great day and I’ll see you guys later. Depending on what time it is for you, you should also get some sleep. Stay hydrated, love you!” You ended stream.

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

You scrolled through Twitter as you laid in bed, liking fanart and dumb memes. Also replying to a few of your friends’ tweets.

karl :) @/KarlJacobs_

@/(your username) what the honk ?

*clip of you saying Quackity was your best friend*           

You liked the tweet and replied, “karl no,,, look away,,,”

You continued scrolling, feeling your eyes get droopy. Your eyes fell closed but quickly opened when your phone vibrated. It was a DM. 

From Corpse.

You two had followed each other earlier.

Corpse: hey (y/n), just wanted to say you’re really cool and i’d love to play again with you soon 

You smiled, a light blush spreading across your cheeks, and replied.

You: i’d love to, corpse

Corpse: ok, see you soon ‘wife’

You: back at ya, ‘husband”

Corpse: :)

You: :)

[thetriggeredhappy]

recently rediscovered your blog and read the fic from your dad spy au where scout starts out as the "guard" and then becomes scout from there and lemme tell you that shit put me on some s-tier brainrot. like a cranial decay type beat.

i had a concept in my head that instead of being hired as a guard, he could have been hired as a right hand man to the administrator like pauling, because i think hed be awesome in that position. like imagine having a personal merc who can get in fast and out even faster. but maybe he would stay in the base like the rest of them, sort of like a secret on call intel gatherer, who also maybe sometimes has to dig a couple graves. and also like, nobody on the team expects anything from him at first because its this 20 year old newbie kid. hes dressed in his formal clothes and he talks like somebody from relatively around boston but not quite. i can just imagine one day he comes back during a team dinner with his shirt half untucked and stained with blood, hair disheveled as he asks soldier if he can borrow his shovel, or him debriefing them for a mission when miss pauling is busy. same vibe as the fic i mentioned before but scout gets to have a job as cool as miss paulings. honestly id write it myself if i didnt have the attention span of a fly

anyways your scout content gives me life thank you

scout teamfortress but 20% more competent standing next to miss pauling teamfortress while she's doing her job and doing like silly quips and otherwise contributing nothing like it's a buddy cop film is literally my fucking ideal

(warnings for some canon-typical violence)

-

“Oh, Pauling, it’s good to see you again,” greeted the chairman, smiling in an imitation of a grandfather and clasping her hands perhaps too-kindly considering she barely knew him. “Young as ever, and still so stylish, I see. And who’s the new fellow?”

“He’s just here to help with transport, Mr. Montgomery, nothing unusual,” Miss Pauling replied, returning his smile and adjusting her glasses. “Heavy cases, you know how it is.”

“Of course, I remember you almost toppling clean over last time we made a trade!” Montgomery agreed, frowning at the memory. “You’ll pull a muscle that way, better to be careful. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man. And your name?”

“Mr. Normandy, sir,” the new kid replied easily enough despite his slight East Coast accent, giving the man a firm handshake, expression neutral and stony, the picture of professionalism. Internally, Pauling breathed a sigh of relief.

“Firm grip there, young man,” Montgomery praised, nodding approvingly. “Tennis player, perhaps? Or golf?”

“Baseball, sir,” he replied, still evenly. “First baseman.”

“Ah! Of course! Were you any good?” Montgomery joked.

“At everything but playing in front of the crowds, otherwise I’d be in the major leagues,” he replied, tilting his head just slightly to imply that he was joking, his sunglasses glinting at the movement, and Montgomery barked a laugh.

“I like this one, Miss Pauling!” Montgomery said, and Pauling just barely caught herself from physically relaxing at it.

“We do too, Mr. Montgomery,” she agreed. “I was under the impression that you’re very busy today, so we won’t keep you for too long, we just wanted to sort out the final details surrounding the manufacturing rights for the—“

“—Pacific Northwest branch, up into British Columbia and Alberta, of course,” Montgomery agreed, nodding faintly. “Of course, of course.” He turned to regard his own man in a dark suit, the one standing to the right, who appeared to be unsuccessfully trying to stare down Normandy, who was completely ignoring him. “My briefcase, please.”

The man handed over the briefcase, and Montgomery put it on his desk, opening it and pulling out a sheaf of papers. “All our requests are submitted and approved, at this point we just had a few dustbins to take care of regarding initial percentages and making sure everything is wired to the correct accounts, which names are undisclosed, things like that,” Pauling explained as he glanced through the papers.

“Right, right, everything looks good here,” the man murmured, nodding to himself, sending his long-white hair just ever-so-slightly out of place. “I’m assuming these more sensitive documents should be sent some way besides through the mail?”

“If you finish them today I can take them with me, otherwise either me or Mr. Normandy can return to pick them up at your convenience,” she replied, to which Normandy gave a singular nod.

“Oh, it would only take me a short while,” Montgomery said, waving a hand. “We have a lovely lounge just down the hall from here if you’d prefer to wait there, it should only take me ten, fifteen minutes at most. In the meantime, I do believe there’s also the manner of payment for services rendered.”

Miss Pauling tilted her head just slightly to one side, confused.

“I arranged with Helen already,” Montgomery explained, not looking up from where he was initialing a few things. “The payment, rather than being wired, she asked to be made in material investment. A venture of mine from years ago that she’s willing to sit on. Rather than gold or bonds, she agreed to take some old currency of mine that my family collected, from early 18th century New Zealand and Australia. Monetarily it’s worth around the same, and I’m quite a bit attached to it to be entirely frank, but it was at her request to buy the whole collection from me, and after years of the work we’ve been doing together, well, I’d never trust it with anyone else.”

He gestured to the other man, the one on his left, who stepped forward to hand him a manila envelope, which he passed to Pauling.

“Inside is both keys, the door alarm codes, and all other security information for the building where the collection is being stored. They’ll ask for a few codes and confirmation of identity, only because several other art collections and artifacts are being stored there by other affluent individuals such as myself.”

“Thank you, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling said, taking the envelope gratefully.

“Think nothing of it, my dear. Helen talked me into it all her own,” he said easily enough. “Now, gentlemen, if you would let Miss Pauling and Mr. Normandy into our lounge? I should have these wrapped up before any of us can even think about lunch, eh?”

One of the suits showed the two of them through the doors and down the hallway, through two doors bracketed by similar suits who simply nodded politely at Pauling and ticked their chins at Normandy as they passed them.

Normandy posted up beside the door for all of three seconds before they shut and Pauling pulled her glasses up, rubbing at the bridge of her nose and making a vaguely distressed noise. He then promptly relaxed, instead leaning his hip against an armchair probably worth the same amount as a small car. “So, uh, we’re glad that he’s giving us a bunch of commemorative coins from when dinosaurs still walked the earth?” he asked just below normal speaking volume, eyebrows raised.

“Yes. Very glad. Because unlike about six people total on the planet, he hasn’t figured out yet how valuable those are.”

“What, is a picture of a kangaroo on some copper really gonna make up for a couple hundred thousand American dollars?” Normandy asked, sounding doubtful.

“Not copper. Something else,” she replied. “I can’t tell you much more about it other than that, but these coins are made of something priceless to us. And to the Administrator.”

“…Love? Memories? The magic of family?” he joked, cracking a smile, and she rolled her eyes, moving to open the envelope and start reading the papers inside. “Hey, uh, not to question whether my job should exist, but what the hell am I doing here, exactly? Besides carrying a briefcase. Like, chivalry isn’t dead but I really don’t think you need me carrying your bags and holding the door for you.”

“You’re helping with security, basically,” she replied, adjusting her glasses to squint at tiny handwriting about the collection. “Mr. Montgomery is trustworthy, but he mostly hires out to… well, people like us. His security detail is mostly people we’d rather have screened, freelancers, stuff like that. A lot of people we contract out to are like that. Most of them have heard about me and know better than to try and pull something, since I can hold my own pretty well, but if they haven’t, seeing a second person might persuade them to think it over again.”

“Oh, so I’m like, uh, when it says ‘tow zone’ next to the no parking signs even though nobody checks, or when they’ve got a camera in the corner of the store that isn’t even plugged into anything,” he said, and the looked up at him, confused. “Like, uh, what’s the word… I’m a casual deterrent.”

“Sure,” she said, because it sounded like he knew what he was talking about, shuffling the papers back away and closing the envelope again, making a note to ask the Administrator if she should change their current containment procedures to be closer to Mr. Montgomery’s. “Just… if there’s a fight, you deal with it, otherwise you just stand there and look like you’re paying attention.”

“That’s what the sunglasses are for,” he agreed. “I was blinking morse code at the guy across from me literally the whole time.”

“You know morse code?” Pauling asked, surprised.

“Just the alphabet, ‘S.O.S.’, and ‘ass’.”

She rolled her eyes again, and that’s when the door opened.

She expected Mr. Montgomery, not one of the men in suits. “Excuse me, both of you, if you don’t mind,”the man said, accent having the slightest English tilt to it, a Londoner if Pauling had to guess. “You’re Miss Pauling, the Mann Co. affiliate, yes?”

“That’s me,” she agreed, hesitant, and glanced at Normandy.

“I’m afraid there’s been a mistake. Mr. Montgomery have you the wrong envelope on accident,” the man said apologetically, extending a hand forward. “We apologize for this unfortunate mix-up, it’s really quite embarrassing, but those documents are sensitive and we’ll be needing to see them back now.”

Pauling looked at him, and within a moment, shifted her expression. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she agreed, nodding. “No, right, of course. These aren’t the papers for the currency collection?”

“I’m afraid not,” the Brit agreed, head tilting just slightly, hand still extended, moving a fraction further forward.

“Well, thank goodness we figured out now and not with us halfway back,” she joked, and moved to hold the folder closer to her body. “I’ll take this right back to Mr. Montgomery, then.”

“He’s sent me to correct the error,” the man explained simply.

“Right,” she said, and saw in her periphery that Normandy had already started sneaking a hand in towards his primary, clearly having pieced together something she was only suspecting. “We can bring this to his office, then, right down the hall.”

“You misunderstand,” the man said, taking a step forward again. “I’ll be taking it to his office myself.”

“That’s funny,” Pauling said. “I didn’t realize you had clearance to be in there. Or to be carrying a semi-automatic instead of a standard handgun.”

The Brit reached for the semi-automatic, and before he could even get it out properly, Normandy hit one clean shot to the side of his head and another to his thigh, sending him crumpling to the ground.

Pauling had only as far as pulling her own handgun free, thumb on the safety, and breathed a sigh of relief, glancing over at Normandy, shifting to more comfortably hold her gun. “Quick reflexes,” she noted.

“Just noticed a lot sooner, maybe,” he shrugged, stepping forward to glance over the body, tucking his gun back away.

“What was your hint?”

“He’s here to give us the right folder, yeah? Well, why were his hands empty, then?”

She was just starting to nod and realize that as well when a second man shouldered through the door, holding a gun at the ready. Normandy scrambled to draw his own, but Pauling fired a shot into his knee, shoulder, and neck to send him dropping before he was even close. “There’s quick on the draw, and then there’s prepared,” she said pointedly. “Gotta think of if there’s more than one, new guy.”

He nodded, and drew his gun again, bending to hit the guy on the ground at the temple hard enough to knock him out if he wasn’t unconscious already. He then glanced up at the sound of a shout from the other side of the door, two men shouldering through, guns drawn but lowered. It was only the firm eye contact they made with both her and Normandy that made her pause the millisecond it took to realize these ones weren’t trying to kill them.

“Pauling, what on earth is going on here?!” Montgomery demanded, entering the room and staring with wide eyes at the bodies on the ground. “What could’ve possessed you to—“

“He was trying to run off with these documents,” she explained quickly, gesturing with the envelope. “He knew whatever was in here was valuable.”

“He drew his gun, sir,” Normandy added, tipping his head down towards the body, and Pauling glanced down as well and found herself a little surprised. He’d rearranged the man just slightly, apparently, adjusting the arm to be holding the gun a bit further outward. “Other one was aiming to kill.”

“My, my,” Montgomery tsk’d, shaking his head as he surveyed the scene. “What a mess. My apologies, Miss Pauling, Mr. Normandy.”

“It’s alright, but you need to start doing more thorough checks on your staff, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling stressed.

“He’s only been here two weeks, sir, he was one of the men we hired in a hurry after the incident last month,” one of the bodyguards said, and Montgomery shook his head.

“Thank goodness nobody was hurt,” he sighed. “Mutiny, and besides that, they’re bleeding on my carpet. Here are those papers, Miss Pauling—what a day, eh?”

“It’s really alright, we handled it,” Pauling assured him, giving her bravest smile, a little exasperated now.

“Right, right, you and the first baseman,” he agreed, and Normandy fought back an actual smile.

“If you’d like, we can take care of those for you,” Pauling said, gesturing at the bodies. “To pay you back for the carpet and the scare.”

“Sounds fair to me,” Montgomery agreed, clearly relieved.

-

“My dad’s gonna be pissed, by the way,” Normandy was so helpful as to say on the way back up the path to the base. “And you’re fielding that.”

“About the suit, or the fight?” she asked, glancing at his clothes where he was somewhat covered in a fine dusting of mud and grime from the gravedigging, shovel still in his free hand.

“Both. Mostly the fight. Your fault for saying it’d be an easy one to start with,” he said.

“If it was going to be that much of a problem, you wouldn’t have gotten this job. I’d just have made you go do dishes all day or something,” Pauling replied.

“Point taken,” he said, walking ahead to get the door, holding it open for her. “Wait, we’re allowed to mention what we do, right? Just not names?”

“Or locations, even with travel distance. Round up to the hour if it comes up,” she replied.

“Sure, sure,” he agreed, trailing a step behind her as she led the way through the base.

In the common area, there was a bit of a ruckus happening. Soldier, Heavy, and Demo appeared to be having some kind of arm wrestling competition on a rapidly-toppling table, the Engineer was on a stepstool trying to fix the ceiling fan, and Sniper appeared to be half-watching the beginnings of an argument between Pyro and the Spy regarding use of the oven as Medic patched up a burn on his arm.

“Hullo,” Sniper greeted the two of them, sounding a little bored, Medic giving them a brief, polite nod. Normandy’s eyebrows were raised pretty far as he surveyed the room.

“Hi, Sniper,” she greeted in return, then cleared her throat, raised her voice. “Team meeting in five minutes! New mission for next week!”

Groans from the room at large, the eight mercenaries starting to finish up what they were doing and filing out. Spy moved over, glancing over Normandy and starting to talk to him in rapid-fire French, picking smaller bits of gravel off of his suit as they walked.

“Alright,” she addressed the room, Normandy peeling off from getting mother hen’d by Spy to stand next to the blackboard with her. “Monday, you’re all going on a transport mission. Getting the truck from point A to point B with everything in the boxes intact. Already we’ve had to put up with some people trying to get ahold of these things, so bring your guns.”

“Oh, our guns, you said? Lads, this is a serious one, keep your heads on a feckin' swivel, she’s sayin’ we might even need guns, can you believe it?” Demo faux-gasped, and chuckled when Spy bopped him on the arm, rolling his eyes at the Scot's theatrics.

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved off, flipping through the papers a bit. “So Engie, I’ll need the keys to the truck, me and Normandy are going to be loading those tomorrow, all of you need to be at this drop point bright and early.”

“How early?” Heavy rumbled.

“Six. Hour and a half of drive from here.”

Some complaints from the room that she sighed at.

“Hey, hey, calm the hell down,” Normandy cut in, and she glanced over at him where he had his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. “You chuckleheads get to have all eight of you to unload the damn thing, me and Miss P gotta do all the rest of this on our own and probably kill twenty guys on the way there and back. She had to be up at 6 AM, workin’ since 7 AM, lunch break at noon and nothin’ else, and we just got back now at, what, fuckin’, 10, 11 PM? Any of you work her shift and then see if you even got the energy to complain about wakin’ up early, how about that?”

The room went utterly devoid of complaint or backsass. “Thank you, Normandy,” she said politely, and he just nodded once, glancing off to the side. “Anyways, anything new on this end? Spy, how are you adjusting?”

“Very well,” he said simply. “I have nothing pressing to say. Once I’ve been updated from the stock weaponry provided here to my requested preferred weaponry, I believe I should do just fine.”

“I see you already have Herr Normandy digging graves,” Medic chimed in. “Straight into the hard labor, ja?”

“Eh, hey, y’know, it’s why they keep us young people around,” he shrugged, grinning, and there was a brief uproar to drown out Medic’s entirely offended scoffing and Spy’s snort-laughing.

“Get ‘im, lad!” Demo cheered, and Normandy indeed looked fairly proud of himself.

“Monday, transport mission,” Pauling noted over the noise, writing it up on the chalkboard to hide her own smile from the room. “Normandy, you and me are doing the boxes tomorrow. Everyone on the same page? Good. Dismissed. Oh, and Pyro—stop taking the fire alarms down when they beep. They’re beeping because you light things on fire in the base. Do that outside.”

“Oh, hey, uh, helmet guy, All-American Beef,” Normandy called, and Soldier straightened up. “Here’s your shovel back. Gettin’ my own tomorrow.”


Soldier walked directly over to him, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “That’s a high honor, Cadet,” he said, tone grave. “Do not take this responsibility lightly.”

“I, uh, I won’t?” he said hesitantly, and blinked a few times as the shovel was carefully taken from him before it was promptly marched from the room in double-time. Only then did Normandy look over at her. “So he’s always like that?”

“You’ll get used to it,” she assured, dusting chalk from her hands. “You should get to sleep soon, we have to be up early.”

“Sure thing, Miss P.”

[doodler-jpeg]

Ring Pop Proposal [BadBoyHalo]

UM UH HI HELLO ARE THOSE CANDY RINGS CALLED RING POPS OR AM I BAD AT REMEMBERING BUT I WOULD LIKE SONEONE TO PROPOSE TO ME WITH THIS ONE DAY EVEN IF ITS JUST IN A PLATONIC WAY

THIS IS JUST A CRACKFIC I GUESS SO TAKE THE FUNNY.

VALENTINE’S DAY TRANSLATES TO THE DAY OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP IN SPANISH SO HAH TAKE THAT, LONELY BITCHES. I LOVE YOU ALL PLATONICALLY >:] MWAH HAVE A KITH 

THIS REALLY FELL OUT OF WACK AT THE END. IT WAS LITERALLY JJST TO DO SOMETHING FOR VALENTINES DAY. UH, YEAH. INKNOW ITS THE TWELFTH BUT IM TOO LAZY.

⚠️CUSSING, RAGE OUTBURST⚠️

Pronouns: they/them

You hummed as you finished building your base on the SMP. Placing the last block, you grinned and walked off of the roof, placing a bucket of water down to block you from damage.

“Okay, chat. I think that’s where the house building stream ends. We’re gonna look for some netherite in the next stream. So, uh, bye!” You quickly decided to raid Bad before you began roaming around the bloodvines that were scattered about the SMP. You leaned back in your chair as you looped your playlist and headed off to your mine to look for some gold.

As your music played in the background, you didn’t notice the creeper sneaking up behind you until it was too late. You jolted back in your chair in surprise as the death message popped up . You inhaled deeply, clenching your fist tightly before you respawned and hurriedly typed a small, polite paragraph to that creeper in the game chat.

<[Y/N]> DEAR CREEPER. FUCK YOU. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU SNEAK UP ON ME IN MY MOMENT OF VULNERABIILITY AND FUCK ME RIGHT IN THE ASS. I DIDNT XONSENT NOR DID I APPROVE OF  SAIS INTERCOURSE, AS I AM MERELY NINETEEN, SO IF YOUD KINDLY GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A FIRE ASPECT THREE SWEEPING EDGE LOOTING TWO SWORD RHAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

<[Y/N]> MY FUCKING STUFF NONONONONONONONONONNONOONONONONONO WHERE DID I DIE DWHERHWWHEEWHEREHWERE OH MY FUCKING SHIIITITITITITITITITITI TITTTYIED, I WANT TO JMPN ON A CADILAC AND SLAM MY HEAD AGAINST A WINDOW WHAY DID THAT CREEPER HAVE TONCFUCK ME.

<[Y/N]> IM SO SORRY BAD, IM BERY MAD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I HAD A FEW THINGS I NEEDED ON ME. IM SORRYL ILL SJIPP YOUA RING POP AS A PROPOSAL.

<BadBoyHalo> O_o

<BadBoyHalo> But a ring pop does sound nice OWO

<[Y/N]> WHEN IM FINALLY TWBEYTY INWOULD LIKE TO MARRY YOU LEGALLY. MAYBE SKEPPY TOO BUT RIGHT NOW ITS JUST YOU. I WANT PLATONIC KITH KITH NOW >:[ <BadBoyHalo> as long as I get the ring pop :D

<[Y/N]> ANYTHING FOR YOU YOU BEAUTIGUL MUFFIN NOW I MUST GO BEFORE MY STUFF DESPAWNS. LOVE YOU

You laughed at the interaction. It was canon that your character had a crush on Bad’s to the point of turning to the egg for guidance. What made things bad, however, was that you had to keep that front on every stream or else, you know, you’d loose your clout.

You hurried down to your mine and found where your stuff had dropped, hurriedly picking it up and putting on your armour. Turning around, you were surprised to see Bad’s character and you let out a quiet shriek.

<BadBoyHalo> when are you gonna gimme the ring pop. Rat wants one.

<[Y/N]> I LIVE IN FUCKING WASHINGTON, I FONT KNOW HIW LONGN ITLL TAKE, BUT ILL DRIVE OVER JUST TO SE EYOU 

<[Y/N]> ILL GIVE TOU AS MANY RING POPS AS YOU WANT BB :]

<[Y/N]> this is all canon btw, I’m going to give you a ring pop as a marriage gift and you’ve already accepted. There’s no taking it back.

<BadBoyHalo> .-. But

<BadBoyHalo> youre nineteen.

<[Y/N]> IM IN MY TWENTIES IN THE LORE DONT WORRY. I MAY HAVE BEEN FORCED TO BE TUBBOS PARENT BUT ILL RISK EVERYTHING TO BE A HOT PILF

<[Y/N]> PILF = PARENT ID LIKE TO FUCK

<[Y/N]> Debby Ryan smirk.

<[Y/N]> ;]

<[Y/N]> wait you never said language to me

<[Y/N]> OvO

<[Y/N]> I’m blushing irl hold on.

<[Y/N]> I’m gonna order those ring pops just for you bb. Where do you live. Dm me. Not in game though because you’re still streaming but in discord.

You stretched in your chair as you waited for a response, laughing to yourself as you went to order the ring pops. Bad dmed you and you typed in the address, typing in your credit card number before you payed.

<[Y/N]> It has been done.

<[Y/N]> good night my new husband. Be prepared to deal with tubbo’s shit. Kith kith

You didn’t get a response from Bad, so you logged out of the server and turned your PC off. You threw yourself onto your bed and wrapped yourself in blankets.

You’re canonically married to BBH now, bitch. Take that, simp. HA. You can’t refuse because you were the one that proposed >:] I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

How he didn’t language you is a secret I’ll never tell though. ;] you know you love me, baby-

[daaziscoolbesties]

minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.