#didnt think about me being a butch until That Moment

[jadetheblade4]

Started scanning my traditional sketches anyways mfw helping digging a crater with my dad to set up a pool

[lesboygamzee]

beta troll headcanons but i have headcanons on how alternian gender works ( its not that complex dw )

aradia - fully agender . seperate from everything . didnt really care until it godtiered and then was like ohhh i dont have to do anything anymore im free now ok ^_^ and was pretty chill with it forever tavros - Fairy Girl and transfem . i imagine that Fairy Genders are like completely caste nonconforming I HAVE LORE I HAVE LORE LISTEN TO ME NOW BOY anyway . has known for like .. Awhile but shes in proximity to vriska and vriska is like your average reddit transfem and tavros is like ok maybe i should just repress this and pretend its not something i think and dream about extensively . and it works for awhile and then she lives as a girl on her own on earth c but it still takes forever for her to actually Come Out but it happens .. eventually ... ok im getting sad my girl has problems SHES ALSO BUTCH sollux - gold bigender what the fuck else . very repressed transfem who fits all the gamer trasnfem stereotypes hes kind of real . again Very Repressed and like halfway an egg halfway Aware ( haha duality ) . starts being herself after prolongued proximity to godtier aradia she stole its fucking girl ness #thetransagenda . doesnt really like the association he has with her caste but accepts it as part of his identity nontheless karkat - agender cis guy no assigned caste but identifies with his assigned gender on the technical level . he has a weird relationship with it but like its chill overall nepeta - olive trans guy . nondysphoric and is fine being a girl but one day he was like hey somethings off and he ripped his tits clean off and started living as a he and went about his life as normal <- joke but probably not far off . i dont think he was unhappy as a girl hes just chill with whatever feels right in the moment i think and right now its Boy kanaya - jade trans girl but in a gnc way because female jadebloods are meant to be very cold i think people forget that but kanaya genuinely cares about motherhood and wants to nurture the matriorb because she cares about the next generation of her race and like thats a significant part of her character guys you know that right . i think her both being badass AND having a desire for motherhood is good writing actually guys .g . anyway . has known since she was very young and would be relatively normal about it if it wasnt for her Proximity To Vriska ( see Reddit Transfem ) terezi - teal trans guy whos also nonbinary whos also a dyke . ill be honest i dont have anything super in depth for this one sorry terezi fans vriska - cerulean trans girl . i think nows the time to clarify what i mean by reddit transfem umm . she will not shut the fuck up about how horrible and mannish she looks and acts forever and like its not her fault she feels like this but shes saying this in direct proximity of other transfems namely kanaya and tavros . i also think shes a transmed . umm has known from a young age but only becomes fully comfortable in her identity like .. a loooong time from canon equius - indigo transfem . i dont have a lot of thoughts on this but i think shes very repressed for a long time but Nepeta Proximity helps her a little . doesnt really transition shes just A Girl Now gamzee - Dyke . incredibly strange relationship with everything but like .. i think hes identifying as a trans guy at 13 if only because he thinks its the easiest to explain i dont think hed care . Until It Does . has a crisis about it for exactly a week before getting normal . hard to explain more for multiple reasons rips arm off eridan - violet cis guy but like theres gender fuckery going on . thought he was transfem for awhile and went on e and was like this is awesome but i think im a guy still . does drag as a fuschia woman feferi - fuschia multigender . another one that is hard to explain sigh but i think hes an egg at 13 but he doesnt have a whole thing about it hes like oh im more than just Girl cool ^_^

[nervousron]

Where do you stand on shipping Michael and Trevor? Pre-prologue did they have an established relationship, an unlabelled "thing," or just ridiculous romantic tension? How about post-canon?

i flip-flop on where I stand a lot. Especially with the pre-game stuff. I don't think it was ever an established relationship, but there are a lot of little comments in the game that make me think they had something going on between them.

(Post Deathwish conversation)

"we're back baby! Mike and Trevor - top of the world."

"T, come on."

"Trevor Philips and Michael... De... *fart sound* together again!"

"Yeah. We're together at this moment, but... ahh... you know it's not..."

"I know, alright? Shit, you're such a downer. I don't even feel drunk anymore."

"Well, you are still drunk. So cheer up."

"Nah, you ruined it."

(Drunk conversation)

(T) Fuck you, actually (M) Dont you wish

(Cutscene in By the Book)

(M) hey, fuck you (T) You know? I'm beginning to think that's exactly what you wanna do (M) Yeah, Jesus. I just said the same fucking thing to my wife

Trevor's attraction towards Michael seems to have been there from the get-go. Lamar jokingly refers to it as "love at first sight" and i dont think he was very far off. When Trevor blew their first robbery together, he was sent to prison for it. By all accounts Michael should've skipped town and continued on his way. But he didnt. He waited for Trevor, a man at this point he hardly knew, and that decision changed Trevor's life irreversibly. I think thats where his infatuation begins.

As for Michael I think the attraction to Trevor comes on slowly. He doesnt realize its happening, and when he does, he makes up excuses for himself so he doesnt have to worry about being a queer. Buddies jerk off together all the time. If your best friend is willing to go a little farther than that and doesn't make it weird in the morning, why not go with it? And if Michael loves him a little, so what? Who doesn't love their best friend. They're Bodhi and Johnny Utah. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid. That's all.

I think they had a good thing going for a while, up until Mandy got pregnant. Then they had an on-and-off thing for years that got more and more volatile as their friendship fell apart.( I wrote like 6 paragraphs about that but it was getting really lengthy so that's a post for another day lol.)

Or maybe they just never acted on it and the farthest they got was weird flirting, drunken three-ways with call girls, or jerking off to the same skin-flick. I can see em' all happening and its a horrible back and forth on my end of which makes the most sense canonically.

No matter what I think they had something really deep and guttural together before the Ludendorff heist

As for post-game i have my realistic idea of what would happen, and my idealistic ideas of what would happen.

Realistically:

Trevor is done pining after Michael. He still loves him, that will never change. But he's done with the heartache. They made up, and they'll hang out from time to time, but Trevor is never going to let his heart be broken by Michael again.

Michael is trying with his family. He wants to make his marriage work. He continues to fuck up, probably still sleeps around from time to time, but he's genuinely trying to stay with Amanda. He doesnt think about his past with Trevor very often, because if Trevor doesnt want to bring it up, neither will he.

They have a strained fucked up friendship, but a friendship nonetheless.

Ideally:

Abso-fucking-lutely. They figure it out. They're a goddamn mess together, but they're happy. They fight like they always do, but at the end of the day they're both trying

(im working on a post about my ending C Trikey thoughts that was supposed to be a reply to iagami a while back. i have so many ideas for a post-C ending for them and most of it is just dumb "lol thatd be funny" type stuff, but a lot of it has genuine thought put into it too. This post is already too long lol. thanks for reading through it!)

[eldriitchmurmurs]

amciwtv finale thoughts

heres your death lestat and then kissing armand was craaaazy like i love when women (louis) are insane. in this vein to me this is dyke drama. armand is a dyke (highest compliment a prettyboy can get) (also long hair and titties = woman) and lestat is like a very masc like passing butch that gets he himmed all the time despite being to me like literally afab im sorry but i look at sam reids face and ik "his" womb is fertile also lestat in general is just a woman. 1 self insert for anne rice = woman 2 having feelings = woman 3 liking men = woman 4 hair = woman 5 the whole thing with gabriele but thats incidental to it honestly anyway i love lesbian representitivity

i am not going to lie while i think the CAST did a phenomenal job with building tension and then having everything blow up i think the CREW could have supplemented them a little more better. idk something something with the cameras and the music and the shots in the like winding down the interview scene. like again with san fransisco its terrifying for a few secondes at a time and thats fun but the overall tone of the larger scene is a bit splotchy in ways that i dont think were intentional

louis girl your house is ugly as hell <3 but the i own the night scene was so fun i love girlbosses and i loved his fit in modern new orleans and i love like the use of yellow

i think its fun how theyre like cutting up the story and playing like refridgerator words with it. the new orleans scene being a forgival and reuinion scene vs like oh ewwwwwww icccckkkkk byeeeeeee is something that can b so funy im a little disappointed that there was no second baby eating

in that vein i think louis as a whole is much more sympathetic. like simply by virtue of having his backstory changed i think his actions change just by virtue of that + the other backstory shifts. which is something thats really interesting to see an adaptation do. like in the books and the movey louis was genuinely irritating #misogynymoment like literally grtow up but now im like hmmmmm he should get a gun <3 and like off the top of my head i do not think his actions like over the course of the story were substantially different based on my foggy recollection of iwtv i do remember him constantly burning down shit though which was very funny then but is very like sad and dramatic and shit now but also kind of a girl boss moment. which is like really femionist for amc to do

ok hottest take for last i saw that essay abt how it was probably not lestat who saved louis bc of all those smart bigbrain reasons and my hot take is that the essayist is wrong bc as much as armand loves being the sub in his and louios relationship he is still very much dickmatized by lestat is the thing. that he/him dick has got him acting unwise. and armand putting on a play where louis claudia and maddy are fried alive just to get back at lestat but then going ok shrug emoji and going with louis instead is imo very ic for him. he contains multitudes (of obsessions. lestat louis daniel blenders minecraft to name a few). also it adds to the horror of louis situation like. ik im typing a little fucked up but like i mean it

ok last last take for real and this ones pretty cold actually its just me bitching about them making so obvious the stakes of what killse ricepires. nopt their fault i guess idk if this is a straight carryover from the books, but like the idea that starvation would like literally kill kill kill a vampire instead of just dry them out for a while and then like idk you could bring them back with enough blood, seems silly 2 me. like theyre already dead, i feel like your clssic dracula or even folkloric vampire would be finme even if they didnt feed for decades theyd just lok and feel like shit and thats a different kind of horror vs like oh no tickicking time bomb until louis starves 2 death #coquette #cigarette but agaain thats just my oipinionnnnnnnn

[thewritingstar]

any colorcrack ship heehoo

Pairing: Blossutch (Blossom x Butch) 

Fandom: PPG

Tag list: @shellielyzabeth @over-under-through1  and @yosuehere (for no reason winkwink)

so we just gonna pretend like i didnt know who sent this. And i'm also gonna pretend that you aren’t tempting me with Blossutch.....but...Blossutch...

Okay but evil Blossom?????? 

also this oneshot got outta hand but im okay with it. This is filled with flashbacks sorta and don’t ask me how the town got destroyed cause idk

Triggers: mild blood, minor character death

I hope you enjoy because i really like this :) 

----

She could recall the first time she had used her powers for evil. It was a whirlwind of emotion as the bodies fell to the ground one after the other. The people she vowed to save now were at their knees begging for mercy before she turned the other cheek and walked away. The vision of perfection was no more. 

It was devastating to feel that crack. Her heart slowly turned black until it became locked up against her will. There was no turning back now. She once scoffed at the saying "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Now it was a cruel future. 

Instead of leaving the place she once called home, she stayed and lived above it all. Her powers were now her protection as death threats and missiles were sent her way each day. She ignored them of course. She took a book out of Princess and had others do her bidding, but her hands had seen blood many times. 

It was too late now. 

The falling of Townsville wasn’t something anyone had ever thought would happen. Not when the three supers lived within the city limits. As they grew up, the city had stayed protected no matter how many robbers, villains or monsters threatened their home, they always saved the day. 

And then it happened. Something unexplained had taken over the city like a thick fog. The girls did their best to try and stop it but something had changed the minds and the hearts of the people. 

When the world goes to shit, you have two choices. Save the world and fight for what is right or watch it burn slowly and take what you can. Rebuild the empire to your liking and every negative thing about humans will be revealed. 

Humans are selfish, even the purest ones have corrupt thoughts. As the world is on its deathbed, true colors show. He had known it all too well and yet he was one of the dumbest people for thinking he could change it back. Restore good and evil, even though he was brought up with the lather. 

Corruption and destruction were his game while being a hero was hers. It was plain and simple. He was bad and she was good. Or so that was how the story was told. Maybe the story had lost its way a long time ago. Nothing was ever that black and white. 

--

Then the world had lost its mind and he was now bound to a chair with chains biting into his skin and the once notorious sweetheart was standing there with a blade and enough ammo to kill half the city. Sometimes he didn’t want to believe it. That she had lost the hero's glow and fell into the darkness he knew personally. 

Why should he fix this mess when the world has shunned him? It was the same question she had asked herself long ago. 

He sat watching her. His voice was muffled by a shitty cloth rag that he could easily spit out whenever, but he would play her game. His fingers tapping on the armrest as he twitched in his seat, he was never good at staying still for long. 

The first time he had met her was back when they were kids. She was bright eyed and witty. A leader for those who needed one and had a killer punch. Although they weren’t pair counterparts, they had more in common than not. He found himself near her more often as the years passed.

Now she just had a killer punch. 

He had been watching her for quite some time now. Usually people in his position would be dead but he wasn't like them. He was better. He understood her even with that mask on. He might have special powers with shield but she somehow had one he could barely break. 

She was staring out of the giant windows of her private office. The sunset sat on the horizon and if the city wasn’t in complete chaos then he would have thought it was beautiful. It was a massive space overlooking the city. He knew this place quite well but it felt foreign and lost as if it was a memory he tried to remember but never had. 

 Her grip on the knife tightened as she turned and walked up towards him. Her eyes raking over him as if she were examining her prey like a vulture. She was the embodiment of everything good in this world even if she was wearing all black and hadn’t smiled in years. He couldn’t blame her but he missed the way the corners of her eyes would crinkle when she laughed and the blush that tinted her cheeks. If he could go back in time for one more moment of that, he would in a heartbeat. 

He gave her a raise of his eyebrows and she scoffed. It was too quiet for his liking so he shuffled the cloth out of his mouth. 

“Blossom.” he spoke and she shivered as if no one had said her name in years, and maybe they didn’t.

She wasn’t the Blossom who was a golden child and adored by the world anymore. In fact her name sent fear through the bodies of those who dared to utter it. Instead of everything nice, she was just a black hole that sucked out the life of everything around her. 

“Butch.” She replied and he didn’t think hearing his name come from her would hurt so much. 

“Let me go.” He stated as if she would. They both knew he could break out of them. They weren’t stupid but maybe playing to the worlds cruel game was all they had left. 

-

Most people couldn’t say they saw the hero fall. Dying a hero was something her sisters had the pleasure of receiving and yet their sister was now the queen jewel of the evil capital. 

The day he held her at the funeral. She had to watch the blood pool around her sister's lifeless bodies and there was nothing she could do. She had saved the city countless times and the minute that it went up in flames, her sisters lives were target practice and those who cheered them on had now put the stake through them. 

The horror of seeing her sister smile as she died in her arms haunted her. She wondered why she was the only one to survive. 

“You’ll save the day, you always do.” Bubbles had said happily as if she wasn’t bleeding out of her stomach. 

Next to Buttercup choked on bile as she used her last strength to smile and brush the matted hair out of her sister's face. “You’re a leader Blossom, always were. Always will be.” 

Sometimes if she was alone with her thoughts for too much time she could hear her sister's laughter and the snarky comment of the other one. She could see them flying around, playing tag and just having childish fun.

 But it was all gone now. 

-

Behind her on the desk was Octi. The infamous plush of the youngest sister. Blossom wanted to blast it to shreds and never see it again but he had convinced her to keep it. He stared at it then back to her. He wondered if she ever held it close to her chest and allowed herself to grieve, probably not but it was worth the thought. 

He had been captured by her countless times. It was on purpose too. He broke in, stole something  and hoped that she would be there ready to add another scar and they would fight, and then he would be thrown out. He would come back again and again just to see her. 

He hadn’t seen her in months now. After a while, only her goons paid him a visit and he would just drop the item and walk away. There was no point if she wasn’t there. 

And now he was in the position he needed. She was right there for the taking and he desperately wanted to hold her again, just like he did before all this shit happened. 

He moved in his chair, the chains rattling and getting her attention. He didn’t want to play anymore and decided to send a green spark on one of them but her hand came down on his wrist snuffing out the light. 

Her face was inches from his as her cold stare pierced his soul. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips were set in a thin line as if she was challenging him, daring him to break away. He loved her eyes. They once glowed with a vibrant pink that he could only describe as breathtaking. They gave her away every time but now they had turned to a frozen stone and it was harder to see what she was thinking. 

“So you’re finally gonna kill me then?” He asked, his voice calm and collected as she continued to glare. The blade of the knife was held at his neck and he thought about moving forward to see what she would do. 

“It would be easier that way.” She stated and that stung even when it shouldn’t have. 

His eye twitched and his foot moved quickly to tug at her ankle causing her to move forward and her chest touched his. She had moved the knife away quickly. Now it was held above his head and he smirked before quickly hiding it. It was nice to know she didn’t want to plunge the knife into him. 

“I always liked you better pressed against me babe.” His foot not letting up as the other one trapped her in. Her other hand was now gripping his forearm and he lowered his eyes. He wanted to know that the Blossom he once cared about deeply was still there. No matter how many shields she had up, he was good at destroying things. 

She was silent and he waited. Her silence was something you couldn’t mess with. Those gears in her head were turning and the smallest shift in her eyes had given her away. He knew she wouldn’t kill him. She couldn’t. Whether she liked it or not, he was the only thing she had left and even if it was a petty thing, she knew better than to throw it away. 

“Let go of me.” She hissed through gritted teeth and his feet only dug deeper into her ankles.

He smirked. “I’m the one tied up babe.” She used her free hand to slap him across the face and yet he felt nothing. He had made himself numb to the cruel world, the only thorn in his side was her and even that was barely scratching the surface. 

But he hated that. He desperately craved for the pain even if that's all it was. Pain. A pitiful idea. He once lived for the thrill of the chase. The waiting of a battle as he was some cheeky teen stealing things just so that some girl would notice. The truth was his heart had been through so much heartbreak that it never went away and he was just tired. 

He picked his head up from the blow and she was breathing heavily. Her knife was lowered and was resting in her hand. He shot her a toothy grin which made her bristle. “Mm playing rough today?” 

Her face flushed red as she pursed her lips together and bit back a snarl. “Stop talking.” 

There was something about pushing his luck that he thoroughly enjoyed. “Don’t be shy.” He snickered as he tilted his head up with a cocked eyebrow. “You can’t hide.” 

“You really wanna be saying that shit while I'm holding this.” She waved the knife in his face and he rolled his eyes. 

“Tell you what babe.” She frowned deeper. “You can kill me, go ahead. This world should have been destroyed ages ago but-”

“But what?” She rested herself in his lap. 

Butch let out a deep laugh as he smiled. “You have to kiss me.” 

Her face turned towards the window and he saw that she still wore the earrings he gave her years ago. He bucked his knee up grabbing her attention back. 

“Just one peck and then bam, you’re done.” He said smoothly as he eyed the knife. 

“Why?”

“You were the smart one for a reason, figure it out toots.” 

Blossom watched him closely and she knew what he was doing. No. It wasn’t fair and she wouldn’t give herself that kind of relief. Years ago maybe, but not anymore. She didn’t deserve happiness.

 She pushed off of him with a great force, breaking free from his feet before ripping the chains off of him with a powerful blast and stomping towards the windows. Her blood red heels echoing on the marble floor as her hips swayed. 

“Leave.” She spat and he rubbed his wrists where the chains had been. “Just leave.” Her voice gave out at the end as her head hung low. 

His eyes went to the door. He should have turned around and left. He should have just ran and went back to drinking and drugs and drowning back into the darkness, it would have been easier that way. But his mind ignored all that. He had waited too damn long to be in her presence again and he was a selfish asshole. 

-

He saw her fall off the deep end as the world turned its back on the shining light. They snuffed her goodness and took whatever innocence she had remaining and left her high and dry. She had pushed him away and lifted up the walls, she said it was to protect him. It never was. It was a cruel lie to justify how she felt. He understood completely because that's what he had been doing since he was a child. 

The pain of losing the closest people to you was something they shared. His brothers fell to the same fate as her sisters and instead of suffering together, they had distanced. 

-

Her back was towards him and he took the time to look her over. He found it adorable how she still wore her bow in her hair, maybe it was to keep her sanity and pretend like it didn’t mean anything. She stood tall and proud back in the days and she was right now but it was different, she was different and he knew that. 

Her hair was long and pulled back into the tight ponytail she always wore. He knew deep down she wanted to run to him. Forget back the past and go back to the days where they could be themselves. Even with the unforgiving circumstances, he thought she looked as radiant as ever. 

He stood behind her before reaching for her hand. It had been almost a year or two since he had touched her skin. She could easily turn around and slice him with the knife, end him right then and there. The voices in his head had silenced as the tips of his fingers touched the slight curl of her palm and he felt the spark that he longed for. It was small but he had felt it, he prayed she did too. 

He closed his eyes as he took another step forward and when she didn’t pull back and retreat, he held her hand. The once warm skin was ice cold and he didn’t know if he wanted to cry from how much she was suffering and he was once too blind to see it. It was crystal clear now. 

 He waited until his eyes watered as he felt her fingers curl around his. The breath he was holding was let out and he blinked rapidly to make the tears fade away. He felt how her hand tighten around his and her body shook slightly as if the wall she had put up now had a raging storm pounding against it like a dam on the verge of breaking. 

He pulled her until she was flushed with him. He raised her other hand and placed the knife against his neck. 

“It’s okay.” He whispered. “If it will bring you peace-” His words were silenced as the knife fell with a harsh clank and tumbled around until the ringing stopped. 

She looked at her hands with a fear she had only felt a few times before. Her shoulders went slack as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. 

“They hated us.” She cried into his chest. “W-we saved them and yet-” She could bring herself to say it. He wasn’t sure if she ever said that they had died. It would mean that it was true, despite it being years. “H-how...how could they do that to us?” 

He didn’t say anything but only clutched her harder. “They destroyed me.” Her head picked up as she looked at him. 

Eyes wide and puffy as she looked at him as her lips quivered in disbelief. She reached for his cheek where the indent of a healed scar was. She had been the cause of it but it faded over time and she traced her finger over it, whispering to herself. 

“And I destroyed you.” The heartbreak in her voice was unbreakable as he let the tears fall. He shook his head. 

“No, you-”

She nodded and pushed away the excuses. “I did.” Her eyes were searching around his face wondering how much damage she had caused him. “You were my light and I did the same thing to you as they did to me.”

Her breath caught in her throat as his lips pressed against her cheek carefully. It was soft in such a way that if she were a porcelain doll on the verge of shattering. 

“What they did to you is unforgivable but I don’t blame you, Blossom. I could never blame you.” He was honest. She might have pushed him away and even fought him but she was still the one who had held him when he cried and kissed his pain away. “Please baby-I. Please.” 

There was a heavy silence weighing over them. His eyes were glued to her and he would be a fool to turn and leave now. Not again. They say the end of the world brings out the worst and two broken people who had seen their loved ones suffer and end tragically only meant for a catastrophe. Instead of a violent fight of shouting and guns a blazing, their weapons were tossed aside and the dam had broken as she stared at him. 

The golden sunset was ready to fade into a new inky night as he told her he wasn’t leaving again as his lips brushed against hers. Never touching fully. 

“I don’t deserve to have you, not anymore.” 

“You don’t have a choice.” He stated and held her as she tried to pull away. “But.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the gun with the bullet that could penetrate through their superhuman forms. “You can tell me to leave and I won’t come back again.”

She was once a little girl who called for her to save the day. A teen that people worship and even a woman that they feared. She had done it all. Phases come and go but the only thing that didn’t change was her heart towards him. She would be lying if she said she had forgotten all the times they shared. Forgotten about how they would sneak away during school and have their way with each other as she giggled endlessly. Forgotten when he told her he loved her the first time on the rooftop. 

She was a fool for thinking she would throw it all away. The world had made a mockery of her when she turned towards the darkness for revenge and yet the thing that she could have done, could have, was right in front of her for the taking. 

“Or. You can have me for the rest of time and the world can go to hell.” 

The gun was held out to her. An offering that would either would vaporize any hope she had left, or could leave her feeling something more than just a hollow shell of a person. 

She took the gun from him and for an instant she thought about holding it against herself. In that moment, the pain could end. She could easily forget about it all and fade away into the abyss. Her mind traveled to that dark place until the memory of her sister’s bright smile came into view. 

“Blossom you deserve happiness and I think he’s the one for you.” 

“I can second that.” 

Her eyes looked into his and she saw a gleam of hope. The moment after she had lost her sisters was spent with her heart suffering and yet he wanted to be by her side through it all. He could have cast away those feelings and left time and time again but he was here. 

The metal burned her skin as she held it, fingertip on the trigger but all her attention belonged to him. Her fingers twitched and shook as she asked him the question that weighed on her mind.  

“Could you ever learn to love me again?” Her voice meek with a slight whimper.

Butch brought his lips to hers, touching them soft as a feather. “I never forgot.” And kissed her as if it was the last thing he would ever do. 

Those flashbacks of them together before the decay of what they had known came back in a rush and she wondered how she ever let them go. His hand wrapped around her waist and he felt the upward curl of her lips against his as her arms came around his neck. Her body molded to his as she held him tight, afraid that when he pulled away, he would be gone again. 

When the world goes to shit, you have two choices. Burn down with it or rise above and see the new horizon. 

And when he looked back at her with a smile that felt rusted and worn, her eyes had held a spark that became reignited. Like a flower blooming after a harsh winter, the life from deep within herself began to resurface. 

“I have always loved you, even in the darkness.” He spoke and he was blinded by the small smile on her lips. 

“And I love you.” 

Those tears on her face held years of misery but it was leaving her mind as she stared at him. The vibrant pink against an electric green. She felt those chains around her heart break off as the warmth came in. 

“So what do you say?” He asked as he kissed her cheek.  

“Let the world go to hell.” She whispered before crashing her lips against him and as if she was desperate to quiche her thirst. 

She smiled against his lips as he let out a growl. Blossom pointed the gun towards the window and fired. The glass raining down over the city as the light from the horizon seeped in.

The idea of good and evil was long on when the city’s morals became corrupted. All that was left were two people who knew better than to become incinerated.  

---

i hope you liked it!

[sergeant-donny-donowitz]

The Intern (CliffxReader Pt. 2)

Pt. 1 :)

Requested by @perawuat​

@tealaquinn​

Let me know if you wanna be added to either the basterds or OUATIH taglist :)

You grinned widely as you reached for your diploma. You looked out into the crowd, your radiant smile reminiscent of a sunflower as you looked to the cameras and did a peace sign with your left hand as you raised your diploma with your right.

You finally graduated.

You had a big job in a hotshot Hollywood production to show for all your hard work.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid...

You looked out at the crowd, spotting dozens of familiar faces.

You found your family among the sea of pride.

And by them, two empty seats.

Rick and Cliff couldn't make it. They were in Italy...

You sighed softly. It as a bittersweet moment. They were doing the best they could, you couldn’t be mad at them.

The next few days your family kept you fairly busy. They’d flown in from out of state. You didn’t mind the company. Especially since the summer felt a little empty without Rick and Cliff to deal with.

But as the summer wound down, so did your work.

You moved out of your old apartment, leaving Ziggy, Rowan, and Odie...

You moved into a high-rise apartment in west Hollywood.

It was your first time ever living completely alone. You had a place all to yourself, no brothers barging in or bathroom hogging sisters. No roomates.

And still...

....no Cliff and Rick...

Nothing....

You sighed, and muttered a despondent, “Groovy...” As you looked up at your new building.

You took a breath, and took the elevator to the fifteenth floor, and walked down the long hall to your apartment.

You stopped, seeing a bouquet of red roses at the doorstep. You wondered if it was from the apartments landlady... She seemed like an old fashioned person.

You picked up a card that came with it, expecting it to be complimentary.

But...you knew that writing.

You smiled a little, and sighed a little more cheerfully, "oh Cliff..."

You sighed, flopping onto the second hand couch from a garage sale that you’d hastily strewn in the middle of the empty living room.

Your living room.

You read the card.

Cliff apologized for missing your graduation and not being there to help with the boxes. He also added a million little things to make you blush.

You held the letter against your chest as you presided over the rows of brown boxes scattered around the room.

You smiled a little as you looked through the first box. The first thing you picked out was a framed picture of you and Cliff.

You smiled, knowing you'd finally made a life of your own, and that he was part of it.

And you knew you really had it together a few months later, when you were invited to a party. A big Hollywood party.

The movie you'd worked on had been nominated for a few Academy Awards, including for best cinematography...which you'd had a big hand in.

You met a few big names at the party, and a few familiar faces. The night was young, and you danced there with the stars and the writers that gave Hollywood it's lights. After a while you stepped aside to grab a drink. You looked at the scene, your new friends, and future.

Rick had been rigth all along... You were going to make it big.

As you took a sip of your drink, you overheard something behind a nearby table.

There were a few older and frankly snobby producers talking, and avoiding the younger crowd. They'd been talking about some projects they had been looking into.

The name Rick Dalton came up, and you raised your eyebrow in curiosity.

"Rick Dalton is an old, washed up chain smoking alcoholic has-been who's still waiting to happen!" The group of producers broke out laughing as he went on, "Won't be long till he drinks himself into a grave!"

Your blood boiled...

You'd been trying to get Rick to get help. You'd been making progress, until he had to go to Italy.

The producer went on, "Or worse. Lets himself go, gets a beer belly, and lets those pothead hippies melt his brain! And that pal of his, Cliff Boot."

One of the other producers corrected him. "Booth."

He nodded, "Booth. Killed his woman, didn't he? What's he still doing on sets? Bad luck. Don't want Dalton or that scumbag anywhere near me."

Another man stood between you and the circle of snobs. He smiled, "Say, aren't you that talented young lady what worked on that western?"

You nodded, "Yes, sir."

He smiled, "Say, O'Mara, this is the young lady that worked on Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!"

The producer that had been ripping on Rick and Cliff turned around, with a wide, yellow, broken grin, reached his hand out to shake yours, but you stepped away in disgust, maybe hurting your relatively young and vulnerable career. 

But to you  it was worth every second seeing those snob's blood boiling.

"Don't get too cocky, O'Mara. You wrote Rick Dalton's first check, and then ripped him off when he got too big for you. Of course he's having a rough time, you all turned your backs on someone that made every single one of you a pretty goddamn penny, while he and Cliff are scratching and barely surviving. You should all be ashamed of yourselves, listening to that fucking rumor like a bunch of teenagers listening to Paul Anka. The man's a war hero, for crying out loud, and you're a fucking draft dodger. So no. Don't ask me to shake the hand of a man who turned his back on people he owes everything to."

Before things escalated, the man that had attemtped to introduce you to the producers stepped in, spoke fast, made them laugh, and ordererd drinks all around.

As the producers picked up gossip about other 'has beens,' the mystery man took you aside, "I like your work, and I like your spunk, you're a good kid."

You smiled a little, and he went on, "How about I let you in on a little secret, kid? All those old boys back there? Tearing apart actors because they’re jealous. And when they’re not with each other, they tear each other apart, because they all want this." He raised up a briefcase.

"What's that?" You laughed a little, seeing the quirky, odd character gripping the case as if it were worth the world..

He smiled, "Well, kid, this here's the next big thing in Hollywood what's gon' get somebody an Oscar, or an Academy Award round this time next year."

"So you're a writer?"

He nodded with glee, "Writer, director, as of now sole producer. But I still need my crew, and my stars. And kid, I seen the wonders you've done down at NBC and for that picture. So, once I get this show on the road, are you willing to get in on it?"

You could not have felt happier, "Absolutely!"

He smiled, "Well then, I need some stars, don't I? How about I talk to your friends about this, huh?"

"M-my friends?"

He nodded, "Mr. Dalton, and his stuntman, I hear they're a damn good team!"

You nodded, proud that some people still knew them as what they were, "That's right, sir."

He smiled, "I pictured Rick in this role. It's not exactly his regular western character, but, it's new, its fresh! It'll give him a new face, a new chance! I see him as...." He grinned, looking into the distance as he waved his hands, as if the name was appearing in front of you on a screen, "Hudson Murdock! International spy!" He sighed in satisfaction, "We’ll knock Bond out  of the water! And probably knock that guy, Cliff into the water!"

You both chuckled, and he asked, "Think they'll be interested?"

"I think so, sir."

He smiled, "Please, kid, call me Rudy!" He handed you a business card, and then a pen and a paper so you could write your number, Rick, and Cliff's down for him.

He took the paper after you were done, and hid it away safely with the script he guarded with his life, "Be in touch soon, will ya kid? They'll be home from Italy, soon I'll bet."

You nodded, "Yes, sir."

He titled his head, "Come on, kid."

You sighed and smiled a little, "Rudy."

He smiled, "Alright, that's better, kid." He gestured to the growing crowd of young party goers, "Go on, have fun before the real work starts!"

Despite the rocky moments with producers, and the inevitable burning of a bridge or two, you couldn't get over the fact that you'd just gotten Rick and Cliff a new big shot in Hollywood...

Still, the adrenaline and fun started to wash down the more the night went on. By the time you were home that night, you were a little more than just uneasy.

Cliff was supposed to call you and let you know he'd made it home safe with Rick.

You were sure they wre going to get blind drunk together, 'one last time,' thinking it was the end of the line...

Of course, they didnt' know about your development...and you'd let them have their fun for the night.

You could wait a million years for Cliff.

Or...you thought...

It just wasn't like him

Even in Italy, he called you every single night. Now that he was home, there was no excuse.

You spent the next half hours or so debating and reasoning with yourself....

Maybe they knocked out because of jet lag? Maybe they were drunk because they drank on the plane? Maybe the phones weren't working? Maybe he went straight to get Brandy? Maybe he wasn on his way to yours?

The possibilities were endless....

Still, there was that constant, nagging, feeling wringing your heart...

Ringing...

The phone was rining.

On the third ring, you picked up.

It was Rick.

You glanced up at the clock.

12:55 AM...

Your eyes went wide as Rick quickly and calmly tried to explain every thing that happened in the last half hour without giving you a panic attack.

12:56 AM...

"HE WHAT?!"

Rick replied, "H-he's o-k, don't w-worry! He-"

"He got stabbed! And-"

"He-He'll be ok, Y/n, everything's fine!"

"And you? Are you ok?!"

He chuckled a little out of tension, but mostly because he just missed hearing from a friend like you, "I'm uh...I'm actually at the neighbor's right now. Everything's ok, Y/n, don’t worry."

"The Polanski's?" You felt a little ease in your shoulders, knowing Rick finally got what he'd been wishing for for months.

"Yeah..." You could practically hear the smile, "But I'll meet you and Cliff bright and early tomorrow. We're ok, honey, don't worry. Get some sleep, he's ok."

"Ok..."

Rick sighed, knowing you better than you gave him credit for, "Oh, and Y/n?"

"Yeah, Rick?" You held the phone between your shoulder and your cheek as you reached between the couch cushions for your car keys.

Rick chuckled, "Drive safe."

You smiled a little and shook your head once.

You practically raced to the hospital, giving Cliff and every other stunt  double in Hollywood a run for their moeny.

Your heart skipped a beat, stopped, and broke al at once when you saw Cliff again... After six months...t felt like a lifetime,

And it felt like even longer seeing him like that.

You knew he was going to be alright. Rick told you so. The doctors told you. The nurses told you...

But you didn't believe it until you saw him for yourself.

"Cliff..."

He looked up at you, clearly tired. Of course, the acid, the fight, the stabbing, and the morphine were behind that. Still, he shifted trying to get up to get to you.

"No, no, stay down, it's ok..." You sat by him, rested your hands in his and smiled softly.

To him you were nothing less than an angel...

Especially with the drugs (legal and illegal) and the bright white hospital lights behind you. "Y/n....you...you came? Told Rick to tell ya to get some sleep I-"

"That's crazy talk."

He took your hand and pulled it up slowly to his lips, and kissed your hand softly. He looked up with soft eyes, "I'm sorry, baby...I should've gone home, should've gone to see ya..."

You shook your head, "If you had, there's no telling what would've happened...Best not to think of that, not now."

"I'm sorry I missed it."

You shook your head, and rested your hadn against hisncheek, "Best is yet to come, Cliff." You smiled cheekily.... you'd tell him about the party the next day.

Until then... You gave him  a kiss, and said, "Get some rest, Cliff."

"Only if you do, baby..."

You nodded, "I will, I will."

He chuckled a little, through the meds and drugs, and mumbled and hummed "Dream a little dream of me..." as he fell asleep, holding onto you desparately.

Somewhere deep in his mind, he was scared you were a hallucination...He wanted to hold you enar and dear. He wished Italy and that night never happened. He wanted nothing more than to be by your side.

When you woke  up, it was nearly noon, and the sunlight was streaming through the blinds. You'd fallen asleep on the chair by Cliff's bed, with your head against his chest. His arm was around you still. And you could hear the warm hum of his voice through his chest as you woke up slowly.

You could hear Rick too.

"Goddamn, Y/n and Francesca are gonna get along, they sleep like logs."

You smiled a little as you stood up to hug Rick.

He smiled at you, and shook his head, "You wanna tell me how the hell you managed to save me and Cliff's careers in one night?"

You shrugged, and playfully "Hey, when you got it, you got it."

Cliff guffawed, but then immediately held his wound, "Shit, Y/n, you oughta be the one carryin' Rick's load then!"

You rolled you reyes with a cheaky smile and sighed, "Anyone would've done the same."

Rick sighed, "Oh, honey, you don't know Hollywood just yet."

Cliff said, "What we're tryna say baby is thank you."

"Ah, it's nothing." "You got us some work!" Cliff looked at Rick, and they were both relieved, knowing it wasn't quite the end of the line. "We knew you'd make it far..." Rick saw the way Cliff smiled and looked at you. It was all clearer now that Cliff wasn't wearing sunglasses. Rick smirked a little, as he chuckled, "I'll go ahead an' leave you two alone for a while." You covered your face as your rubbed your eyes, "Oh, come on Rick!" Cliff chuckled, "I wIsH!" You looked to Cliff, "Cliff!" He laughed a little as he reached out for you. You heard Rick closing the door as he left. You sat by Cliff again, and he kissed you. "Told you everything would be ok, kid." "Yeah?" "Yeah..." He nodded. "Rick was right. You made it. You're not just an intern anymore...and me and Rick are gonna be ok, and you n me are more than ok." You smirked a little, looking down a tthe ground for a moment, then back at Cliff, "Yeah, we are..." He rested his hands on the sides of your face, his thumbs pressed against your cheek. It wasn't something he did often, but you weren't complaining. Because in that moment, everything mattered. The past six months had been hell, and the past night was a nightmarish trip. His blue eyes were wide open then. Everything realy was ok... And you could see that in his eyes: The hope and love the 'washed up' stuntman hadn't felt in a decade or two. And he owed it all to you, the intern.

[knifekris]

PLEAS tell us about your au....... and i hope you'll feel better soon!! stay careful and dont get sick please 😔

im already sick anon im sorry 😔 HOWEVER…

[ QUICK DISCLAIMER this tyzias uses they/he pronouns which is slightly different from the standard they/them i use but its butch lesbian indulgence hours and im God. anyways. ]

[ALSO UNDER THE CUT BC THIS IS LONG]

lemme tell you about zizi “tyzias” strider

alright so the premise for this au is basically “dave still had bro as a guardian but tyzias’ baby meteor crashed on top of dirks and smushed him” so alpha dave goes “well fuck i guess i have a troll baby now”

when i was talking to my roommate about this they put the mental image in my head of like, alpha dave with one of those baby carriers with grub tyzias just on his chest while he was fighting the clowns on the white house and while that may not be canon its Really Fucking Funny to me and i hope i get around to drawing it

um um anyways dave wasnt about to assign an alien baby a gender so he kind of left some of his shit for them and some shit hed think rose would leave for a girl or w/e but for the most part just stuff he Thought Would Be Cool– basically what dirk got originally but w some more variety and probably less anime shit because i actually like tyzias . anyways. they still get lil cal bc i feel like thats probably narratively important and for the most part tyzias is just like “yeah thats my puppet lil cal he’s pretty neat i guess. anyways”. obviously theyre going to treasure anything and everything dave left for them bc theyre sappy like that and literally dont have anything else.

it took a couple years for tyzias to realize how different they are from their human friends and they have this really deep insecurity stemming from when they realized theyre not a human like their ‘dad’/’bro’ but a troll like the condesce and they dont know SHIT or FUCK about troll culture or physiology except for whats out there for them to find which isnt a lot. so they get this weird irrational fear that if theyre not careful theyre gonna end up violent and bloodthirsty like )(IC who is a person who hurt not only dave but also rose and is actively making theirs n roxys lives hell and its a lot of “im so different from everyone i know and its in an arguably bad way”. especially wrt molting and blood color n stuff they dont have any explanations for anything except “im different from my friends and its weird and i dont want them to know because then they might think im weird or even BAD for being a troll”

they work REALLY hard on not letting this insecurity get in the way of who they want to be for their friends– which is to say they want to be someone dependable and  a person to lean on and to look to for support. **!!blood player hours alert!!** tyzias feels responsible for the people around them (jane roxy jake) and wants to do what they can to ensure that they all stay safe and happy because other than a long-dead alpha dave these are the people that they have and thats really important to them.

i know theres no class or aspect doubling within the kids but i reaaaalllyyy wanna make them a seer of blood but might settle for mage. seer would help out wrt the game over bullshit because you have to think about where dirk was during the fight and why he wasnt IN it and why he didnt go with john and roxy to the new timeline and stuff. these are all things that make me wanna reread homestuck so i can get a cohesive thing going on. anyways.

dirks version of masculinity affected a LOT of stuff in homestuck and so did lil hal and with both of those things gone u gotta think about like. for example jake and how hes all gung-ho about being a Dude and Manly and the way he goes about exploring his gender kind of cluelessly. and i dont want to make tyzias more ‘woke’ than they necessarily WOULD be in their scenario but i like to think theyd get a decent grasp on what it meant to be a butch lesbian– or at least enough to find comfort and joy and happiness in it while learning more about it and themselves as they grow. the internet exists on earth b. im allowed.

anyways jake and tyzias are best friends and its the most wonderful dynamic thats come out of this thing (there are a lot of good dynamics. i have a lot of very specific self indulgent things going on in this au.)

[ tyzias noogying jake and saying “hey you fuckin’ nerd” while he yells “JEEPERS, ZIZI” ]

tyzias and jake get to talk about things like masculinity and what even is a gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland/on a deserted island and i think esp with tyzias’ aversion to showing what they look like or sending pics jake would go about assuming that tyzias is his Dude Friend until one day they have a conversation where tyzias goes “no bro im a lesbian” and jake has this moment of like. “… :D well thats neat buddy”

anyways tyzias encourages jake to go out and explore the island in SAFE and HEALTHY ways and they voice call while hes out and about so they can sort-of hang out as best as you can across spacetime and its fun. they like talking about stories (usually movies and shows) together bc its their common interest. 

zizi is really into storytelling and writing which is kind of a mirror of dirk/dave being really into drawing while holding onto zizi’s interest in literature and history n stuff.

as for roxy i think itd be really neat if tyzias’ “what is gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland” thing inspired them to think about themselves and what their gender is vs. janes and maybe (or definitely) they come out as nonbinary and jane gets to be confused by zizi and roxys “weird pronoun preferences”

shit there is SO MUCH to think about with this. fuck. send me more specific questions so i dont just get caught up in my brain with all this. theres so much.

[chimcharstar]

Questions 1, 2, skip a few, 99 100! ANSWER THEM ALL!!!!!!

LETS DO THIS

99 gay-ish asks

how tall are you?5 SOMETHING

what is your body type?SLENDERMAN

what is your favorite part about your body?THE T

is your current hair color your natural hair color?YES

are you more outgoing or more shy?SHY

are you more femme or butch?ITS COMPLICATED, BUT, BUTCH

are you tol or smol?APPARENTLY IM TWINK. NOT SURE WHERE THAT IS ON THIS SCALE

wine mom or vodka aunt?NO

weird habit?I EAT BREAKFAST FOOD AT ANY HOUR

favorite meme?VIBE CHECK, IM SMUG ABOUT MY URL

do you sing in the shower?NO BUT I USED TO. JUST SHY ABOUT ROOMMATES. I DO IN MY CAR

ever used a bow and arrow?NO, BUT MY BROTHER DESIGNED AND BUILT ONE, GOT IN TROUBLE FOR MAKING A WEAPON

are/were you a theatre kid?IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE IM ALLOWED TO HAVE AN EGO, YES

have you ever seen a broadway musical?NO

do you think musicals are cheesy?NO I THINK THEYRE JUST A MEDIUM OF ART

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?NO WEIRDLY

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?IDK THEM

last movie you watched?PROBABLY MEGEAMIND

behind the camera or in front of it?BEHIND. BUT BOTH IS GOOD

favorite tv show?AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

meaning behind your urlTHE ACTUAL REASON IS IT REMINDS ME I CAN TRUST MY INTUITION

reason you joined tumblrA CRUSH WROTE IN MY YEARBOOK I SHOULD GET IT. DONT WRITE THAT IN PEOPLES YEARBOOKS

who’s your closest tumblr friend?THE PERSON ASKING ME 99 QUESTIONS

what’s something most people love that you hate?TACOS AT WORK. THEYRE POPULAR OF COURSE. I MAY NOT KNOW MY TACOS, BUT PLAIN RAW CABBAGE ON THEM MAKES ME DOUBT

have you ever taken narcotics?NO

have you had sex?NO

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?I DONT GET CAUGHT!!!! IM SO SNEAKY… AND TRAUMATIZED. I ONLY GOT CAUGHT WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE, HUNTING ME. NOT FAIR. ALSO HOW DO YOU “GET CAUGHT” FOR DOING NORMAL THINGS LIKE READING AND HAVING CLOTHES

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?PROBABLY THE REASSURING CHRISTIAN VALUES THINGS I TOLD MY PARENTS TO GET MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE INCONVENIENTLY TRUTHFUL, THAT WAS SOME PRETTY HARDCORE LYING IN A RIDICULOUS SITUATION, AND THE WORST BECAUSE WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO HAVE TO DO. IT WAS HORRIBLE BECAUSE I WAS SO CONVINCING BECAUSE I MIXED IT WITH THE TRUTH I COULD SINCERELY EXPRESS

describe your passion without mentioning it.HEY GUYS IM WRITING CHAPTER 1 AGAIN I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT THIS TIME

describe your best friend.WARM STRONG RESILIENT UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING KINDLY HONEST CREATIVE TALENTED BRAVE HARDWORKING BEAUTIFUL ORIGINAL NURTURING SELF CONFIDENT

give us one thing about you that no one knows.NO ONE KNOWS THE GRITTY DETAILS OF SOME SAD MOMENTS IN MY PAST. DID YOU KNOW I HATE THE SMELL OF HOSPITAL FOOD FROM WHEN I VISITED A FAMILY MEMBER IN A PSYCH WARD

how do you feel right now?GOOD, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO BED THOUGH

what is your biggest fear?BREAKING SELF HARM STREAK

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?SING A SONG EARTH WIND AND FIRE

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?LEAVING MY PARENTS. ITS TAKEN ME AGES TO UNLEARN SO MUCH SELF-DEFEATING STUFF

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE BUT IM CHILL

something you fantasize about.ACTUALLY DANCING TO MUSIC I LIKE. I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DANCE BUT I WANT TO SFM

last time you cried and whyTHAT PREACHER GUY IN LUCIFER. IT SUCKED BUT IM SO BLOWN AWAY BY LUCIFERS ANGRY YELLING AT THE SKY. WHAT A GIANT MOOD

what was the last thing that made you laugh?MY SISTER ASKING ME WHAT DILF MEANT

do you really, truly miss someone right now?NO. IF I MISS SOMEONE, ITS A SIGN THEY WERE A BAG OF DICKS TO ME AND MESSED UP MY INNER CLARITY

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?YOU

the last time you felt broken?WHEN MY TWO FRIENDS AT THE TIME GANGED UP ON ME AND ABANDONED ME AT A NOT PRETTY TIME IN MY LIFE. I COULDNT EAT WHICH AND I STILL STRUGGLE WITH EATING, I NEVER USED TO

are you starting to realize anything?THAT IF I RELY ON MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, ILL EXPECT TO FAIL AND SABOTAGE MYSELF, AND INSTEAD I NEED TO TAKE RISKS AND PUT FAITH IN MY FUTURE.

are you more dominant or more submissive?THERES EVIDENCE FOR BOTH, BUT I THINK THE LATTER IS JUST FROM ABUSE AND GIRL RULES

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)WASH YOUR HANDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?AROUND MY AGE THERE IS SOME UNDERSTANDING

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.IM NOT IN LOVE I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH. I MAY HAVE A SQUISH

do you have any kinks?MAYBE SO

first thing you notice in a person?HOW THEY HANDLE STRESS AND PROBLEMS, IF THEY BLAME/GET ANGRY, OR IF THEY ARE COMPASSIONATE AND PATIENT. LOOKING FOR RED FLAGS

how can someone win your heart?FOOD. CHEESECAKE WAS A POWER MOVE. BONDING… OVER FOOD. I HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES ATTACHED TO BEVERAGES.

been rejected by a crush?YES

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?YES

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?NO

is trust a big issue for you?YES

did you hang out with the person you like recently?NO

is confidence cute?YES, SELF LOVE LOOKS GOOD ON PEOPLE

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?GOOD FOR THEM. I DONT LIKE ANYONE RIGHT NOW

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?NO. GIGGLING LIKE A LUNATIC IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE AND YOU NEED TO KEEP UP

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?IF THEYRE FEELINGS, PROBABLY, BECAUSE IM TRANSPARENT

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?IVE HAD MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED FOR MY FTM TRANSITION

do you want to get marriedYEAH WHEN IM FIFTY THEN ILL GET A BUNCH OF DOGS AND CATS AND CHICKENS

worst thing you’ve ever done?APPARENTLY IVE BORROWED BOOKS AND NEVER RETURNED THEM

three things that turn you on.IM GOING THRU PUBERTY 2, TEENAGE BOY EDITION, IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH

who do you hate?I DONT LIKE SUCH SIMPLE CATEGORIES, BUT I START TO FEEL HATRED WITH REPEATED CRUELTY/WHEN SOMEONE REFUSES TO HEAR ME

favorite term of endearment?MY FRIEND

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?I DIDNT REALLY HAVE TVS/POP CULTURE GROWING UP LIKE MOST PEOPLE, PROBABLY FOUND IT IN CREATIVE WRITING

intimidating girls or kind girls?KIND

what do you look for in a possible partner?EQUALITY

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?YES

are you good at flirting?PERHAPS. WHEN IM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT

who was the first person you came out to?I DONT ACTUALLY REMEMBER. A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. IT WAS A STRESSFUL COMPLICATED TIME, MY WORLD WAS UPSIDE DOWN, IT WAS GRADUAL

do you have any friends who are wlw?PROBABLY

is your crush wlw?IDK

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?A DOUCHE CANOE UNFORTUNATELY

write a short love poem to your crush/self?DEAR PERSON,THANK YOU FOR THE CHEESECAKEIT WAS SO GOODBUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS FROM YOU

do you fall in love easily?NO. I WISH I DID. I COULD USE THE HIGH TO GET STUFF DONE

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?I HATE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL HUMILIATED AND ASHAMED, SO I JUST DONT. I ALSO HATE TALKING ABOUT SELF HARM BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW HOW. AM I GOING TO TRIGGER PEOPLE? AND IT IS SHROUDED IN SHAME AND FEAR.

are you good at hiding your feelings?YES, WHEN I CONSCIOUSLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO

are you a forgiving person?NO. I USED TO BE ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS, AND GREW UP FORGIVING ABUSIVE CYCLES, IT WAS SO UNHEALTHY. NOW I FEEL LIKE A CROW HOLDING GRUDGES FOR CENTURIES, AND I DONT WANT TO BE BITTER EITHER – I OFTEN FEEL BAD FOR NOT FORGIVING, EVEN IF ITS JUST FORGIVENESS FOR MY OWN SAKE. BUT ITS A NEW DEVELOPMENT THAT IM ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL ANGRY, BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT BEING WRONGED, WANT JUSTICE FOR MYSELF. AND MAYBE SOME THINGS SHOULDNT BE FORGIVEN.

what is your “type?”I DONT KNOW. I RECENTLY STARTED GROWING SOME SELF WORTH, AND I DONT THINK THE PEOPLE IVE SOUGHT OUT TO RELIVE MY PAIN COUNTS

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?LAST ONE

tall girls or short girls?BOTH IS GOOD

hugs or kisses?HUGS

twirl her around or get twirled?I WANNA TWIRL PEOPLE

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?BOTH

hairline kisses or neck kisses?NECK

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?PLAYING WITH HAIR

making out or soft kisses?MAKING OUT

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?WAIST

how confident are you in your sexuality?I THINK PEOPLE WOULD ASSUME IM NOT. IM SHY, AND MY NERDY CHRISTIAN VIBE ISNT GOING ANYWHERE. IM ALSO JUST BEGINNING TO LIVE AS MYSELF AND IM RELEARNING EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO REALLY KNOWING MYSELF IM CONFIDENT

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?NO. I WILL START CRANKING OUT ART AND FOCUS LESS THAN USUAL

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?YES

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?20ISH BUT THE SIGNS WERE THERE LONG BEFORE

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?I GOT MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED REMEMBER

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?I DONT KNOW MANY BUT IM HAPPY FOR THE CANON MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?MY SISTER PROJECTING ABOUT HER LIFE. WE HAVE CONSERVATIVE MISOGYNIST PARENTS BUT WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND IT DID NOT AFFECT US IN THE SAME WAY

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?I FEEL LIKE IM FORGETTING SOMETHING NICE A STRANGER SAID ONCE

what is love to you?NOT SOMETHING YOU DISPENSE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. ITS A WAY OF LIVING – IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF, YOU LOVE OTHER PEOPLE, AND YOU LOVE THE WORLD AROUND YOU AND TAKE CARE OF IT. ITS NEITHER FAWNING NOR CONTROL – ITS ACCEPTANCE

ask me anything.YOU DIDNT ASK ME ANYTHING SO IM JUST GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. IVE BEEN EATING POPCORN CHICKEN WITH HONEY

[sighfertryptich]

Im going to rant(ish), skip if you want.

So I was watching a video (its the “Generations React to Dan Howell and Eugene Lee Yang Coming Out On Youtube” video by FBE) and everyone started sharing their coming out stories, and everyone was sharing that they were either scared or felt a freak by it. I felt that I wanted to, considering this is the only platform I have on here that I can express myself to the fullest without judgement, share my own, even though I am not in an accepting household.

So, let me start out with this. Growing up, I thought I was straight. There were no signs of me feeling any different than other kids. I was one of the more innocent children, I didnt care about gender identity or sexuality. I just cared about who I was going to play with at recess. By the time I hit fifth grade, I was naïve to the fact that not everyone was attracted to everyone around them. I didn’t understand that some boys only liked girls, and some girls only liked boys. In my community, it was rare that the gays and lesbians understood what it was, so they werent around to put that knowledge in our vocabulary. To me, if you had a crush, it could be on either a female or a male, whether or not you were the same gender or the opposite.

Reaching middle school, about a year later, our views were widened. People around me were realizing or expressing their sexualities. I, on the other hand, still didn’t understand that there were labels to these things. (Keep in mind, there still weren’t lesbians or gays out in the open yet. Everyone was either bisexual or straight.)

When this new vocabulary came to light, I could finally attempt to put a name to myself, liking both men and women.

I accepted the term bisexual for myself at the ripe age of 11.

I didn’t plan on telling my parents. I never wanted to. They didnt have to know who I was imagining kissing, they didnt have to know who I had crushes on. To this day, I never planned on telling them until the day came that I would have to. As in, if the time came, I would tell them when I got engaged to a woman.

Throughout middle school, I was labeled bisexual. It just felt normal to like who I wanted to like, and the people I surrounded myself with accepted me. I guess I got lucky with that. Reaching into high school, I got my first serious woman x woman crush. Every single day, she’d come into class and I would just gush over her. She was gorgeous. And being honest, a ripe 13 year old me was in her scene phase, and this girl oozed alternative. She had a grunge look, part of her hair was dyed sea-foam green, and she was sweet and funny and kind. As far as I knew, she liked me back.

I remember my first Sadie Hawkins dance. I got with my school’s GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) Club and put together this whole thing where me and a couple friends made shirts that said “Will you go to Sadie Hawkins with me?” She said yes! but then later the dance was canceled and we just made other plans. As time went on, she led me on to thinking she liked me. I found out she didn’t and that she was wasting her time on me when she got with one of my guy friends.

This is when my chronic depression stepped its pussy up. Thank you Dan Howell for giving me that quote.

When I was 15, I moved to my small town a state over where I reside to this day. I was still labeling myself as bisexual. I met my first lesbian that year. (And yes, this was my first time meeting a lesbian. Im serious.) She became my best friend for the next 3 and a half years. She opened me to the world of different labels and helped me through finding out what I realized I truly was.

I was, and am, Pansexual. And a proud one at that. #PansexualPride.

I got my first serious girlfriend when I was 18. Or at least, I thought it was serious. I was head over heels for her. She claimed she was bisexual. [I say claimed because she admitted after we broke up that she was straight.]

Long story short, she used me to go to RenFest, then broke up with me a week later blaming her depression, then got with some dude a day later.

A couple of months later, I met a girl through an app called Amino. She was pansexual, like me, and we had a lot of the same interests. Only problem was that while I lived in Louisiana, she lived on an island off the coast of Florida.

Although our relationship didn’t last long, I added her because this was the first time in my entire life that I actually could see myself marrying a woman.

Let me explain.

Up until this point, I had only ever seen myself marrying a man. Yes, I had an attraction to women. Ive dated women, although not many, but never could see myself marrying any of them. Nothing wrong with that.

During this time, I cut my hair very short. Like, pixie-cut with an undercut. My intentions to cut it were that it’d be easier to put up into wigs when I cosplayed, and it’d be less to take care of and look good. We’ll come back to this later.

Directly after our 3 month anniversary, yes I do month anniversaries, I met my current girlfriend, Cole.

I swear, it was one of those moments where you see someone and you know they’re going to be in your life for years to come. [Fun fact - she told me that after she had met me for the first time, she joked with her friend that her and I “would have an August wedding” even though we barely had passed a few sentences between each other.] There’s just that feeling when you look someone in the eyes and know that there’s something special about them. Something you want - no, need - in your life, whether it’s to make a life-long decision or just to help you grow as a person.

I started dressing more comfortably. I no longer wore skirts or dresses. I wore jeans and t-shirts and hats and less makeup. I wore chains attached to my belt loops. All in all, I started looking more masculine, even though it was just me dressing comfortably. My job allowed it, I was earning the money to allow me to buy clothes like this. It made me happy. I started feeling more comfortable with more masculine terms rather than strictly feminine terms, ie. “mans, they, them, boy” etc. I wasn’t uncomfortable when someone said I looked like a boy, nor was I uncomfortable with my female body. I just didnt care. It wasnt insulting as I was raised to think it was. In fact, I encouraged it. I allowed - and still allow - people to think I was whatever gender they assigned me with. In all, I became Genderfluid. Gender Neutral, if you will.

Now, we’re going to back up just a tiny bit. Tee tiny, nothing big.

About a month before I met Cole, someone outted me to my mother. Keep in mind, I was never planning on coming out to her. My older sister is like me, Pansexual. She strives on the fact that she doesnt tell people she’s in a woman x woman relationship unless people directly ask. She doesnt label her sexuality. And I look up to her severely for that.

My mother is homophobic. She says she isn’t, and maybe she’s not, due to the fact she accepts my sister and her girlfriend, and hopes they get married someday. But for me, I was supposed to be the ray of hope. I was supposed to be blonde, straight, thin, cheerleading captain female who went to college and became highly successful. I wasn’t supposed to be the 5-foot-8, blue haired, overweight, artsy gender fluid kid she had who dropped out of high school, got their GED, and “doesnt show signs of responsibility” (- per my mother, who doesnt want to put me through college) kid she ultimately got.

Dressing how I felt was comfortable and loving who I wanted to love brought me hate from the one person who should love me unconditionally - my own mother. Most people were given hate by their peers, being called gay and butch. My hate was given from the person who gave me life. My mother has said that she regrets getting pregnant with me, and that she would’ve stopped after her first two kids. In fact, she had her tubes tied BEFORE she got pregnant with me. I was being born, with or without her consent. She has told me countless times that she feels like she failed as a parent due to the way I came out as an adult.

To this day, she tells me that I constantly look “too lesbian” or “too butch” and that I need to “go back to how I used to look”. She doesnt accept that I like women. She calls me a lesbian - and everyone knows that when you like both men and women, you’re very obviously not a lesbian. Ive told her countless times that I’m not a lesbian. But she never listens. She uses the term lesbian as anyone in middle school would use the word gay - as an insult.

It makes me confused. How could you raise your kid - which by the way, Im the first kid she raised on her own, her other two were raised with either my grandmother or the baby’s father - and tell them you’re disgusted by their happiness? How could you be okay with one pansexual daughter and hate the other?

(This next part might be TMI but it makes another avid point.)

How can you be okay with your daughter sending explicit pictures to a boy, but be disgusted by your daughter holding hands with a girl?

I still have to hide my relationship with Cole. It makes me sick to my stomach to not be able to say “Mom, this is my girlfriend.” with the girl I care ever so deeply for. I want to take her to family events and show her to the world, screaming at the top of my lungs that Cole is mine and mine alone.

Cole tells me that I’m an idiot when I get gushy. In fact, she’ll probably text me saying I made her cry (dont worry, its tears of love) if she gets to the end of this.

Cole is gorgeous. Even when I spend the night, and she’s got sleep in her eyes the next morning, teeth not yet brushed, hair a mess, making gross yawning faces, I still think she’s quite possibly the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. She’s always got me nonstop laughing, doubling over and straight up snorting sometimes. She’s caring and headstrong, not afraid to stand up for what she believes in.

I want to be able to show her off.

But I cant with a mother like mine.

So, long story short, I grew up in an accepting community. Fell hard for some men and some women. Grew up and realized who I was as a person. Found someone who accepts me through each and every questioning moment I have with myself. Yet, I cant show her off like the people around me all because of the one person who gave me life.

I guess you could say this is the end, but everyone knows its a To Be Continued. You just gotta roll with what life gives you, whether or not the people in your life are there to love you or hurt you.

If you got this far, I applaud and also thank you. I’m not able to rant to anyone like this, so if you took the time to read this, I appreciate it. No one wants to hear my story. If you do…

My name is Marley, and I am a Pansexual, Gender Neutral, KPop loving cosplayer who is not afraid to love who they want to love.

Thank you ♡

(Btw, sorry if I got off track towards the end. My mind wanders when telling stories. I wrote this on my phone so I’ll go back and add a “Keep Reading” thing if you’d rather just skip it.)

[peri]

❗🥰🏳️‍🌈🤔?

THANK U NOVA I APPRECIATE U SM

❗ when/how did you realize you were LGBT+?

skipping details of all my questioning and life-long suppression due to living in a extremely religious and homophobic household, i’d say i officially “realized” when i got a huge crush on an old bi friend (now ex) and found myself saying yes when she asked me out. this was maybe back in late 2016? idk for sure, timelines are hard for me. and yes it took me getting in a relationship to finally “realize” (or at least start identifying as lgbt)

🥰 have you ever been to a pride parade?

unfortunately no :

im hoping to go someday!!

🏳️‍🌈 do you own any pride things? flags, pins, etc? 

no for the same reason listed above :

🤔 did you have any childhood signs that you were LGBT+?

so. fucking. MANY.

the only reason i hadnt embraced it / identified as it / etc etc sooner was Only due to the fact i was made to feel ashamed and hide my feelings abt these things. this goes for both my gender and sexuality.

sexuality-wise, ive always loved girls. i never saw anything personally wrong with girls kissing girls / anyone who wasnt a guy even from a very young age which, i didnt understand when my parents would point and say thats bad. but because of their behavior and hatred toward it, and my used-to-be quiet nature, i learned to not voice myself on it around them that eventually led to self-hatred and a tough time accepting myself for a long while. many more signs of my sexuality throughout my life i could list but yknow.

gender-wise, ive always felt a disconnect to gender. as y’all know, im nonbinary - agender if we wanna be specific. i feel no connection to gender whatsoever, but just use the umbrella term of nb more commonly.

anyways, tying up with my butchness as well i suppose, i never liked wearing makeup. my sister is big on makeup and has been ever since she learned how to use it. she used to always wanna put makeup on me and ive only allowed it like 3 times in my life, however every time led to me feeling really bad and i wasnt sure why / couldnt identify it bc i thought for a long time that i was a “girly girl” and even a femme when i first started using the lesbian term. but yeah i just really didnt like it and i wasnt sure why, considering all those things. spoiler alert: it made me dysphoric. as did everything i used to do to attempt to perform femininity because it caused me to be seen as female, tying me to a binary which i later learned was very damaging to me.

i remember the first time she put makeup on me, i was probably 5? 6? and it was only lipstick and some eyeshadow + blush i think. but after 5 minutes of it on, i panicked. i wasnt sure why at the time. i remember vividly, i wiped it off in the middle of the room and said “this isnt me, this isnt me!” and started crying and my sister made fun of me for being over-dramatic and told the whole family about it. at the time i wasnt sure why i had that reaction and didnt know until i embraced the fact i was nonbinary and also butch. so like. double-whammy. (not to say nbs cant wear makeup! we absolutely can. but for me, being afab, makes me uncomfortable and dysphoric.)

i kinda went on a longish one abt my gender didnt i. KDJDDJF i could say MUCH MORE abt it all bc talking abt gender is like. almost a special interest to me?? i love talking abt it all.

❓ when did you start questioning?

sexuality, i started seriously questioning the label of it all around age 14/15 id say, and facing thats what i actually was finally.

gender, i never rly had a … “questioning” moment for? i kinda just always. was. just didnt have the words for it. which ig u can say the same for my sexuality, but this was much easier for me to accept once i found the label for it. however i didnt come out abt it until i met my gf actually, bc i used to think it didnt matter enough to mention since, at the time, she/her pronouns were fine with me and everything like that (which i ofc later found out makes me v uncomfy, alongside other things like that) but im rly glad i did and embraced it more and allowed myself to be my most authentic self💚

💚send me an emoji asking pride month questions!

[cucksworth]

Tunnel Sneks. Enclave. Institute. R-Road.

tunnel snakes: its like the og kings. u guys alreayd know im super fuckin gay for butch right. well like. sign me up for the tunnel snakes bby!!! i wish u could rescue the other two of butch’s friends from the vault [ im p sure u cant and if u can they just die :/ ] and send them to like ur house or somethin. and i wish i didnt have to have neutral karma to recruit butch, cuz im gonn ahave to do some console stuff to get him. anyways tunnel snakes good. its rly funny to think about how these horny teens were probably thinkin of a good name for their gang and one of them goes “hehe tunnel snakes cuz yknwo.... ehhe” but theyre all gya and trans too

enclave: tbh i havent played enough of fo2 to know a lot about the enclave, and i dont know anything about em from fo3 either cuz again im not very far into it. but i mean. besides the whole exterminating the world i do kinda like the enclave??? i wouldnt defend them at all and i know theyre BAD but they seem interesting.

institute: tbh the institute is poorly written and shit. i wish it was better written and i wish it wasnt shoved from the moment u start fo4 basically that u SHOULD hate them. i wish they were more mysterious like how house was in fnv or how the master was in fo1. u dont know anything about em really UNTIL u meet them face to face. but im being honest here so lemme say i also LOVE the institute. its my all time favorite fo4 faction. i love synths so much... i just wish u could do more with the institute post-game should u choose to side with them

railroad: im eh on the railroad. i like deacon but not as much as other ppl. hes fine, hes cool, i just dont rly have a strong opinion. maybe its bc im institute all the way but somethin about the railroad seems not okay to me.  idk what tho. i havent done a railroad run yet where ive actually BEATEN the game with the railroad so i dont know a lot about them aside from the fact that i do NOT like desmonada... whatever her name is. i just dont like her

[jadetheblade4]

Started scanning my traditional sketches anyways mfw helping digging a crater with my dad to set up a pool

[cruelsister-moved2]

you know i love my family bla bla bla and i know them knowing im a lesbian it will be not be an issue but i really dont want them to know, they will know one day if i'll get a gf lol but till then i dont talk abt my love life with any of them. The main reason is because i don't want to deal with whatever misconceptions they have around homosexuality. There are two things I clearly remember, not that my family talk about gay issues so these two are the only ones that made me go "hmmm". My cousin is wlw, she is married, and when we got the news (by text) I remember my mother saying something like "I wonder how she must have felt when her mother would dress her with skirts and dresses" and then i dont remember more lol my cousin dresses maculine for context, idk that comment seemed so unnecessary. The other moment i remmeber is when i was watching The Wire with my sisters and there is a character who is a lesbian and she presents masculine and my sister was like "i didn't like how the lesbian character had to be a stereotype and "act like a man" this really made me mad, i remember i replied to her like what she has saying was not it but i didn't said much because otherwise i felt she will know i'm a lesbian asdfd. Idk, it was just (I'm 26 y.o btw) sometimes I think i will tell them im a lesbian, but then i remmeber these comments and im like yeah no.... especially because they have this view regarding gender non conforming; masculine and butch lesbians. I dress masculine so yeah, I wish they didn't think like that, because i dont want to explain myslef. But who knows, maybe they will say nothing and im just painting a scenario that may not happen.

i so get you with this its why I took a while to come out to my family too. i knew they wouldn't kick me out or anything but i just didn't want them to be awkward and uncomfortable. i also hate talking about my love life and feelings with them like i just dont talk about personal things like that with them. i only came out bc i wanted to be free with my gf and not have to sneak around. it depends how your relationship is with your family but I really don't think more than that is any of their business, im just like here's who I'm dating btw.

you don't need to come out if you don't want to even if it's not because you feel unsafe or anything. if you get a girlfriend you can decide how you want to handle it then but i didnt come out until like last year. your family also might already know or at least have an inkling, like my mum used to always make annoying comments that I realised were her way of trying to probe and she actually stopped after I came out.

i know how annoying the weird comments can be and I was always so anxious of being othered or misunderstood & its so frustrating. when i came out to my mum I was basically like, im just letting you know & I don't want you to comment on it or anything LOL and it was pretty fine, we talk about it occasionally when I want to but she knows she isnt invited to be nosy.

also im really sorry that your family have stupid opinions about masc lesbians specifically, that's a whole other layer to it -_-; i just avoid talking about that side of things with straight people at all because they just don't get it but it's harder when it might affect how they see you. I guess one way of looking at it is if they see you just being comfortably masculine it might start to challenge the stereotypes they have, especially since a lot of them rely on dehumanisation. not that u have to sit them down and explain but just being around someone can challenge your biases especially when it's someone you love.

but yeah, for me as someone who's quite private i was happy just to let my family know I'm seeing my girlfriend and leave it at that. you don't need to explain or justify your sexuality or dressing masc, you can just say you date women which is the only part that's really relevant to them. and if people try asking about it you can just say that being masc is just what's comfortable and natural for you and not invite them to pry.

i hope that helps a little <3 I've been in this exact situation and it's so frustrating and not really an experience anyone talks about its either super loving accepting family or vicious homophobes. I always kinda felt like a failure or something for not coming out even though it was safe to do so, but that's so stupid. coming out is entirely for your benefit not anyone else's, so right now if it feels like the costs outweigh the benefits then there's no reason to!!

[nylenol]

do all of them like a True Lesbian u pussy

i hate you but im also thriving thanks BITCH!

1. Femme or butch?im a butchy femme bitch but i like both! i think i have a preference for femmes tho

2. Do you have a “type”? If so, describe itidts?? all i know is girl hot

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?plaid button ups god i wish i was hot enough for leather jackets

4. Describe your stylehomeless lesbian

5. Describe your aesthetica mess of other aesthetics! neon, pastel, grunge, the whole shebang

6. Favorite article of clothing?my watermelon pj shorts.

7. Favorite pair of shoes?answered!

8. Current haircut?n/a. im tarzan

9. Any haircut goals for the future?I WANT AN UNDERCUT!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I HAVE TOO MUCH OF A BABY FACE SO I CAN’T IM DEPRESSION

10. Describe the best date you’ve been onnever been on one haha sandra loney!

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been onnever been on one haha sandra loney!

12. Single? Taken?haha sandra loney!

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!haha sandra loney!

14. If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?answered!

15. Describe your dream weddingsmall…… relaxed,, in some rich bitch’s backyard……. matching dresses bitch!!

16. Do you want kids?not while im in my 20s for sure but maybe one or two later?? i wanna adopt and i feel like the experience is important to have before i die

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?I’d probably stay where i am,,,,,, i like cali! i’d like to travel a lot tho

18. Favorite lesbian movie?THE HANDMAIDEN (2016) PLEASE. WATCH IT.

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?FINGERSMITH SARAH WATERS THE BOOK THAT THE HANDMAIDEN (2016) WAS BASED OFF OF PLEASE. READ IT.

20. Favorite lesbian song?answered!

21. Favorite lesbian musician?answered!

22. What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?the hating men thing is kinda there! but other than that, nah

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?idk what this is asking but ive come out to ppl before and they ask again like..”forreal ?”

24. If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?be comfortable with me! and a caring friend, first and foremost

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?GIRL HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also me girl ??? they girl  ?? ? same ? ? ? safe

26. Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?cat person if i had to choose but god i love dogs…

27. Turn ons?ppl that believe in me like hello…………………………………………………….. also when ppl are Genuine.. and Care…. Wow…

28. Turn offs?answered but also ppl who don’t see a problem out to its resolution like. waht the ufck

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?im a brick so. wait for others LOL

30. What is your dream career?ART PLEASE….. CONCEPT ARTIST / CHARA DEV

31.Talk about your interests or hobbies!i love DRAWING kekekke also gaming! i really like single player rpgs with immersive stories theyre sexy,, also i enjoy reading/watching gay shit thanks for ur time - i also wanna get into writing prose + poetry but im ugly at that so yuh

32. What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?sincerity like hello

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?i love easily! romantically idk but platonically definitely,,,,,,,, i love People

34. Ever fallen for your best-friend?heeheehoohoo

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?answered!

36. The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)never seen it keke

37. Favorite comfort food?i have a few but im craving banh cuon rn,, the dim sum kind (its like rice cake with shrimp and this sweet soy sauce)

38. Coffee or tea?tea! but only the horrendously sweet, fruity kind u get at boba shops keke

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?neither im an omnivore

40. Do you have any pets?nope! there’s a stray cat that visits a lot though

41. Early-riser or night-owl?early riser but not by choice………..

42. What is your sign?answered!

43. Can you drive?no jsghdg

44. Who was your first lesbian crush?lul i didnt realize until recently but it was this girl who was in a couple of classes in middle school w me kek, it was just a superficial thing tho and i didnt even know i was gay for sure LMAO

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?i started questioning around 11-12?? went with pan from 14-15 and then i was like Who Am I Kidding…….Girl Hot

46. At what age did you come out (if you have)?I came out as pan when I was 15, but now I’m out @ school as a lesbian! I’m not out to my fam tho i need a roof above my head and food in my mouth unfortunately

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?crushing isn’t the word I’d use - miss someone tho

48. Talk about how your day wentfucking WACK classes were a fever dream, i got caught with like 10 different hotel and anime expo tabs open in 2nd period, the teacher read out each tab name before he closed them and jskldghdggggg ; math murdered me, i got 2/9 on a quiz :) interviews for 2 hrs afterschool and we have our new club board sorted out! so big excite, it’s gna be a really good group for this year!!!!! and i studied for a few hours, ended up having to go home and now i cant focus - i still need another 6 hrs to study i think

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the futureanswered!

50. Least favorite gay celebrity?cant think of any rn but in terms of favorites the ows mods r my fave gays xoxo

[earlgreymonet]

DO ALL OF THEM BABY

1.Femme or butch? 

Femme-y femme femme as fuck

2.Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

My girlfriend

2.Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

Leather Jackets

3.Describe your style

A Mess of basics and being extra af

4.Describe your aesthetic

Extra

5.Favorite article of clothing?

in general or?

6.Favorite pair of shoes?

anything steve madden or jc litas

7.Current haircut?

shrinkage and i let it do whatever man, idk

8.Any haircut goals for the future?

y’know, i’ve always wanted to try like an undercut or a sidecut,, but more undercut,, or just really short hair bc mine is such a hassle to take care of

9.Describe the best date you’ve been on

i’ll pass

10.Describe the worst date you’ve been on

with a guy when i was trying to convince myself I was bi bc of my internalized homophobia

11.Single? Taken?

Taken :’^)

13.If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

my girlfriend is the single most amazing girl in this entire world and im gonna end it there bc i could go on forever

14.If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

bloop

15.Describe your dream wedding

thats,,,,, a longass description,, like i have this shit planned down to table colors and napkins like,,, yeah

16.Do you want kids?

yeah

17.If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

alright, you didn’t say realistically so Paris, somewhere on the mediterranean coast, or in new york (city) ish

18.Favorite lesbian movie?

But I’m a cheerleader

19.Favorite lesbian novel/story?

I haven’t read any :^( (but recommend some to me pls)

20.Favorite lesbian song?

Girls like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko

21.Favorite lesbian musician?

all of them

22.What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

i dont (think) i fit into any stereotypes tbh

23.Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

does this make sense to anyone

24.If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

im a hopeless romantic

25.Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

Everything

25.Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

cats

26.Turn ons?

There’s only one person who needs to know this :^P

27.Turn offs?

arrogance

28.Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

usually I’m too much of a coward to do anything, so I wait

29.What is your dream career?

Bein an Actor

30.Talk about your interests or hobbies!

I’m a theater kid, that’s basically all I do lmao

31.What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

i have no idea

32.Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

Depends tbh

33.Ever fallen for your best-friend?

Yes

34.Ever fallen for a straight girl?

nope

35.The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

I’ve seen like three episodes tbh i can’t pass much judgement about it.

36.Favorite comfort food?

Anything spicy and hot, or ice cream, which is the exact opposite, but w/e

37.Coffee or tea?

Tea

38.Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

Vegetarian

39.Do you have any pets?

I have a cat named nox and a dog named cory

40.Early-riser or night-owl?

Early Riser

41.What is your sign?

Aries

42.What is your Myers-Briggs type?

INTJ

43.Who was your first lesbian crush?

I’m not entirely sure tbh

44.At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i knew at like 12 but I panicked and didnt admit it to myself until I was like 15

45.At what age did you come out (if you have)?

15 to my freshman english 1a teacher and then to everyone else

46.Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

im crushing on my girlfriend

47.Talk about how your day went

i’ve done nothing but watch stitchers all day so,, okay i guess

48.Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

make people and myself happy, be an actor

[latinalesbi]

Stefs hair is awesome I mean she looks so butch and it's so hot I love how they have styled it this half of the season

I love the style. I knew it was longer, so I feared it wouldn’t look good. But the stylist is on point, we don’t need to worry if Teri’s delayed in getting it trimmed. Stef is so hot, I just love looking at her.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Of Stef and Lena had been where they are now when the whole monte thing started do you think that kiss would have happened or if it had had happened Lena wouldn't have kept it from Stef?

No, not at all. I mean Lena liked the attention because Stef wasn’t giving it to her. One of the first things that happens when things start to change is that Stef cries on Lena’s shoulder. And she says, I just wanted to see you. I think one of the most important parts of being in a relationship is feeling needed. You have to feel like your partner will turn to you for support. It’s so important. In short, no Monte would not have been able to get that close.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I always think that Stef would top Lena. With her being more butch and that but seeing Lena top Stef in 0410 and in 0203 is hot stuff             

Yep, that’s why I don’t write it with one always on top. I think for them, it’s dynamic and depends on the circumstances.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Do you think Lena knew Stef was a cop right away?             

I imagine she knew fairly quickly. The position she was at school would sort of lend itself to that knowledge. So if she didn’t find out the first day, she found out fairly quickly.

Anonymous said:                                                                      The twins actually wouldn't have been in foster care long. We know their last Christmas was with their Mom when they were 5. Lena said they fost-adopted the twins when they were 5 and Brandon told Court that they adopted the twins when they were 6 and he was 7. Now, they've screwed with the timeline a lot but they seem to have settled on the twins being with them when they were 5. I don't think it was until the Christmas episode until we found out the twins with with Ana until they were 5 too.             

We don’t really know. We know they were with her for Christmas but do we really know they weren’t moved around before that? (And I could be wrong because I never really rewatch anything but Stef and Lena). I know they came right out of a foster home when Stef met them. I have heard nothing to believe that they left Stef and Lena’s home after they arrived.

My experience with foster care is that they don’t take them away permanently at first. So I would imagine that they had been taken away from Ana before and returned. We literally don’t know. Here’s what we do know, they weren’t being raised. They were neglected in god knows what ways before that. And we know Ana was excommunicated from her home before the twins arrived. So they were exposed to her family’s culture.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Callie hugged Stef two times this half season but not Lena :(

You can’t be surprised by this. The fandom as a whole prefers that relationship. I like it when they mix it up. I still think Callie needs Lena.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I don't know what it is but there's seems to be something so off when it comes to Sherri and Kamar. He gives off such a weird vibe to me. I saw them on OLTL so it's not Teri that's messing up their vibe for me & this is a thought completely unrelated to her.  Their relationship just feels platonic & not couply. & he gives off an extremely self-centered vibe. Not in a narcissistic way but he definitely thinks very highly of himself. Just my opinion though. What do you think?

I don’t know Kamar, so basically all I know of him comes from their social media and from press photos. When he’s posing pictures with her, he doesn’t come off as a very warm person. He seems to be more about himself and the publicity. I have only seen one clip of them from OLTL (really only to get a comparison for Sherri’s style of kissing). The social media stuff, he seems focused on the boys. However, they’ve been married a long time so they must be real close or they’re focused on their family. Hollywood makes for volatile relationships.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I'm worried that Robert getting custody of Callie will happen. Like I won't be surprised if they do it like that because they want Brandon and Callie to hook up again (yikes)          

Look, Callie and the moms are the angsty relationship of the show, will they, won’t they. Robert is an external threat being wielded again. I wish they wouldn’t. I fear a cliffhanger but I don’t have a single doubt that this show ends up with Callie as their daughter.  They have brought up Robert’s money and privilege, and I don’t see the writers letting that win. I don’t.

Anonymous said:                                                                      What Lena and Stef outfits are your favorite?

I made a whole post about this. Let me link you:

First Stef, then scroll for Lena

  Anonymous said:                                                                      Do you think Frankie's death was necessary to the plot of the show?

No, I never think death is necessary on a show. I know they didn’t want a baby on set all the time, so they did what they had to do. I still hate that Ana has a baby and Lena doesn’t. Life isn’t fucking fair.

Anonymous said:                                                                      what does ur url mean             

hell yeah adamfoster. When I started my blog, there was a hellyeahstefandlena account and I kinda copied them when the few active fans decided adamsfoster would be a good tag for the ship.

Here comes all the OT questions, I deleted a few: 

  Anonymous said:                                                                      How do we know that Brandon's ex Cortney is white though? Like the actress is mexican so her character could be a WoC, from what I know they never stated Cortney's ethnicity so we shouldn't just assume she's white.             

The actress has nothing to with character. The fosters is not shy about race and so we don’t have to guess, even about ethnicity. For instance, with one small comment we know Emma is Jewish. If they wanted us to think Cortney was Latina, we would know and same for the following question.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Mike is clearly a person of color, so why wouldnt his biological son be half of whatever Mike is?             

Whatever in the fuck? Mike is a white man. I know another fandom has had a meltdown over an Italian playing a Latina, so let me tell you, it’s not the same thing at all. Just because a man is dark doesn’t mean he’s a man of color. Anyway, just as the above, if the show wanted us to think that, they would tell us. One time, a witness who ID’ed Mike mentioned he looked Mexican or Italian. That’s where many have gotten that idea, but he’s not.

  Anonymous said:                                                                      what's with all this silly debate about B's ethnicity? he is entitled because of his upbringing, not because of his race. B has always been in a stable (barring mike's alcoholism) and loving household. cal and jude, however, have not, and were profoundly abused emotionally, physically, and sexually while in the system. cal and jude are white. all this white privilege "it's cause he's white" rhetoric makes the fandom sound racist.             

While true, both things influence Brandon. His white race has kept him from encountering the same problems as someone like AJ. There’s a difference. So he doesn’t know how nice he has it. He has had stability at home and in society.

Interesting that you bring up Callie and Jude. Jude has a more nuanced experience because he’s gay and a foster kid. He still has white privilege. Someone pointed out that in the premiere we see a cop wanting to make sure that Jesus is interviewed for assaulting Nick, yet two white boys are seen breaking and entering into a boat to smoke weed and make out and yet they get to run away laughing and giggling as if nothing happened. Do you think if Jude had been black he would have even been allowed near the boat? Do you think the cops would have been looking for him if he had gotten to the boat itself? I think the situation would have been very different.

Callie supposedly meets a version of herself, introduced to her through Stef. I think she’s played by a black girl, and it will be interesting if she sees someone who has had it worse than her and has a positive attitude. I am interested in the parallels. Callie’s problems are often her own doing and she loves throwing pity parties. And maybe she does it because she knows she has 2 moms that will fight for her and a rich white daddy who will come to her rescue.

And people can be prejudiced against white people but not racist. Racism requires institutional power which people of color do not have.

Anonymous said:                                                                      how do you feel about jude's relatiomship with noah? i think hes problematic but he makes him very happy so im condflicted

Don’t like Noah, don’t like Jude with Noah.

 Anonymous said:                                                                      i really like emma and jesus as a couple as noah playing jesus. i feel like she and jake didnt have as much onscreen chemistry

I am not in love with new Jesus. I liked it better when he was more latino (-Gabe) and played by a latino. By that token, I liked Lexi and OldJesus much better than anything I’ve seen on that front.

Anonymous said:                                                                      How do you feel about Ana and Isabella moving in with Mike?             

Train wreck. But you shippers feel safe, I am sure the writers think it’s cute. I think it’s creepy. He wanted to kill her and she framed him for murder. Yeah, people grow and all but I’d like for them to talk about that. Strike that, I don’t want them talking because I don’t want them taking up air time.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I really hope Callie tells someone about what happen with that guard. I prefer it to be one of the moms or AJ. I'm sure she wad scared but had to stay strong and calm at the moment.

Who knows? Police corruption is a theme this season. However, at this point, I will take this as a plot device for Callie to want to fight this all the way to trial. Much like that time they put in her in foster care for a night as a plot device to get her to look for her father.