#didnt rest for six whole seasons but looked gorgeous the entire time
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kate austen is everything: sheâs a wanted fugitive, she smiles brighter than the sun, she blew up her abusive stepfather because he turned out to be her biological father, she pretended to love a criminal so heâd help her break into a bank at gunpoint to get into a safe deposit box all for a little model aeroplane, she terrorised the marshal searching for her for months, she desperately needs a hug, sheâs bisexual, she helped deliver the same baby twice, sheâs travelled through time, she went undercover and married a police officer for safety, she parkoured through the bars of her cage when held hostage and escaped only to immediately climb back in when her situationship at the time refused to follow her, she helped murder the man in black by shooting him in the chest, she became a celebrity after escaping a magical teleporting island, for three years she adopted and raised the baby she helped deliver after gaslighting the world into believing it was hers, and she escaped the island with her wife after promising to raise their son together and holding hands on the aeroplane.
#lost#lost tv series#lost abc#abc lost#kate austen#katherine anne austen#kate x claire#shes the world đ«¶đ«¶#deserved so much better than she got#didnt rest for six whole seasons but looked gorgeous the entire time
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: 9th December 2018
Geez, today was a busy week. Before we talk about the top 10, however, letâs just get the massive elephants out of the way.
CHRISTMAS NONSENSE
Itâs the festive season and one way people celebrate the holidays is by listening to its music â usually, Christmas music, of course, and since I review all returning entries that I havenât talked about yet, sigh... There are seven of these so Iâm going to go as quick as possible, but just bear with me throughout this section because I really donât like Christmas music all that much. Letâs just get it over with.
#39 â âRockinâ Around the Christmas Treeâ â Brenda Lee
This is âRockinâ Around the Christmas Treeâ, a song written by Johnny Marks and released in 1958 in the US, being left on the shelf for four years until its release in the UK in 1962. In 1963, it peaked at number-six and has since re-entered due to digital downloads, with one of its highest recent peaks being number-seven last year. Itâs pretty inoffensive rockabilly, with some nice very-50s guitar licks coming in throughout, and some decently-sounding production, but really itâs not anything of internet until that sax solo. That solo is freaking gorgeous, and Iâm glad itâs there, because otherwise this would just kind of fall to the wayside. Not sure I like Leeâs voice on here, it comes off as a bit nasal, but itâs not a big deal. Itâs alright, I guess. I expected to say RIP here since she was popular such a long time ago, but no, sheâs still alive and kicking. Good for her.
#36 â âMerry Christmas Everyoneâ â Shakinâ Stevens
Now this is where it all breaks down into dread. This song by Shakinâ Stevens is Godawful, mostly because of how painfully manufactured the whole thing is. Itâs overproduced Christmas music that is just jolly feelings and nothing else. Those horns that kick in after the first verse are pretty cool, but Stevens doesnât sound great here â or at least I canât tell because heâs drowned in reverb â and the choir might as well be a computer for all I care. Also, the sax solo was cool the first time in Brenda Leeâs track, but here itâs just trite, especially when you add those shooby-doo-wops over it. This track was initially the Christmas number-one for 1985, and I understand why, but does it really have to come back every year since 2007 â for over 60 weeks in total? Oh, it peaked last year at #10 too. Letâs hope this upwards trend doesnât continue.
#35 â âSanta Tell Meâ â Ariana Grande
Now for a more recent one from arguably the biggest popstar in the world right now, with her 2014 song that actually failed to chart in the Top 40 initially until last year at #29, and thatâs its peak so far... whilst Iâve never been a fan of the cleaner, refined Ariana Grande records, I do have a soft spot for this one. That melody is infectious and the sleigh bells complement the synth bass in a way I didnât think they would, and itâs not like the drums are all that overpowering here, although a trap skitter would have worked better here (yeah, I know, not something I say often). Itâs surprisingly romantic and sensual for a song with Santa in the title, actually, although itâs about men who have wronged her. Anyway, Ariana kills it but what else do you expect from a song from her at this point? Itâs a good track, although the final chorus with the choir is really cluttered, just saying, itâs messy.
#30 â âItâs Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmasâ â Michael BublĂ©
This here is Michael BublĂ©âs cover of traditional Christmas classic written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson, and itâs not great. Obviously, I mean, itâs Michael BublĂ©, ever since âHavenât Met You Yetâ heâs been utterly useless seasonal radio fodder. BublĂ© never really sounds bad but he never sounds interesting, and this production isnât doing him any favours. Itâs sickly sweet strings and brass for the most part, with some piano added in there for good measure, after what seems to be way too long of just airy synth, string and guitar noise â thatâs really out of place, guys, why is this on the single edit? Ah, what else to say? Oh, right, nothing.
#26 â âDo They Know itâs Christmas?â â Band Aid
Oh, I know itâs Christmas time, alright, this song wonât let me forget it. I could ramble on about how preachy and awful this charity single is but other people have done it better. I just have four short things to say â 1.) this was the most popular song in the UK of the entire 80s. Yikes. 2.) This is the worst thing the Boomtown Rats have had any involvement in. Theyâre such a great band, hell so are Culture Club. How do Boy George, the Boomtown Rats, Ultravox, Phil Collins, U2, Kool & the Gang, Sting and Duran Duran make something this awful? Theyâre all absolutely fantastic musicians in their own right. 3.) That synth that kicks in after a while is pretty ugly, not gonna lie, and is unfitting for the condescending Christmas charity single angle theyâre going for here â mostly because thatâs what it really is. 4.) Weâve remade and reissued and re-entered this song too many times. Let it go, Britain. Please. Weâre begging you. Itâs for a good cause, and I appreciate how much money itâs raised, but itâs also garbage.
#18 â âFairytale of New Yorkâ â The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl
They use the word because it was the 80s, itâs not meant to mean homosexual and itâs not used in that context â albeit still a negative one â and the climate of Ireland, especially the Celtic punk scene, wasnât exactly going to care about dropping that slur in their Christmas single. It should still be censored, though, I mean, black rappers saying the N-word is morally okay, but we still mute those, right? Anyway, this is one of the best songs Iâve ever heard. It starts with a beautifully elegant piano melody, with the lead singer of the Pogues, Shane MacGowan, mumbling his way through his verse, but instead of people like Future or Lil Baby, thereâs still a lot of sincerity there, I feel, and a lot of soul is put into expressing the lyrics here in the raspy tone that I absolutely love. Iâm not going to talk much about the story here mostly because Iâm not going to go in-depth, but itâs about a typical love story going awry at some point due to a betrayal. Oh, and the moment the Celtic traditional instruments come in is one of the best moments in music â ever. Kirsty MacColl sounds so lovely here, and the harmonisations in the chorus are fantastic. That flute solo is gorgeous, and the juxtaposition between âyouâre a bum, youâre a punk, youâre an old s--- on junk, lying there almost dead as a drip on that bedâ and the cheerful instrumental is just hilarious to me, especially since right after âHappy Christmas your a---, I thank God itâs our lastâ is immediately followed by the bombastic drunk sing-a-long chorus. The third verse is also such a great back-and-forth, man, I canât even bring to words how much I admire and adore this piece of music. This is the best song I think Iâve ever talked about on this show, by far, but it could have easily not been close if â2000 Milesâ by the Pretenders returned this week. Weâll just hope for next week, I guess. Rest in peace to Kirsty MacColl, gone much too young.
#14 â âLast Christmasâ â WHAM!
Finally, we have our last Christmas song for this weekâs holiday REVIEWING THE CHARTS special. Itâs an anti-climactic end, to be honest, because Iâm pretty indifferent to this song. Itâs pretty 80s, to be fair, so Iâve got to like some of the cheesy falsetto vocalisations from the late George Michael at the start, as well as those repetitive synths that keep themselves from sounding awful by having those sleigh bells and pretty damn nice keys covering them. That chorus is iconic, but the rest of the lyrics are just forgettable. Honestly, itâs a good background song and itâs a well-written, catchy pop track with Michael putting in some good vocals throughout, but, itâs nothing special. Nothing but respect to George Michael, though, rest in peace, heâs a pop legend over here.
Christmas Conclusion
The best Christmas song on the charts right now is easily âFairytale of New Yorkâ by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, but an Honourable Mention goes to Mariah Carey for âAll I Want for Christmas is Youâ. Yup, thatâs still here, weâll get to that in a second. Worst of the Week goes to Band Aid for âDo They Know itâs Christmas?â You should be ashamed, Bob. Dishonourable Mention is going to Shakinâ Stevens for âMerry Christmas Everyoneâ. Other Christmas songs you should check out are âChristmas in Harlemâ by Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi tha Prynce featuring Musiq Soulchild (heck, check out the longer version if you wish), â2000 Milesâ by the Pretenders, âStop the Cavalryâ by Jona Lewie, âChristmas Lightsâ by Coldplay, âYouâre a Mean One, Mr. Grinchâ by Tyler, the Creator and âRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeerâ by DMX. Yes, those last two actually exist. Now, this Christmas section has taken longer and is longer to read than about half of my normal episodes, so I think we should get straight into...
Top 10
Well, this all feels a bit more familiar. âthank u, nextâ by Ariana Grande is still at the top of the charts five weeks in, and it doesnât really seem to have much competition.
Ava Max, however, is making a surprise run for the top, up four spots to number-two, with âSweet but Psychoâ. I wouldnât exactly be complaining if this hit the top either.
âWithout Meâ by Halsey is up a spot to number-three.
We have a new entry from the most recent X Factor winner, Dalton Harris, with a cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywoodâs Christmas classic âThe Power of Loveâ, featuring James Arthur. I guess awful Christmas songs arenât going away for that long, huh? Obviously this is Daltonâs first top 10, and Arthurâs fifth.
âThursdayâ by Jess Glynne is down two spaces to number-three.
Up a whopping 28 spaces this week to number-six is, you guessed it, Mariah Careyâs âAll I Want for Christmas is Youâ. This isnât its first top 10 turn, and itâs not its peak, but still impressive to reach here nonetheless.
This means âWoman Like Meâ by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is down five spaces to number-seven.
âRewrite the Starsâ by James Arthur and Anne-Marie has actually gained nine spaces, surprisingly, and to my dismay, to number-eight, becoming Arthurâs sixth and Anne-Marieâs fifth.
Oh, and if you wanted even worse news, up an even larger 29 spaces is âKIKAâ by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez, becoming both their first (and hopefully for 6ix9ine, only) top 10 hit at number-nine. I like the song, but I donât like Tekashi, to say the least.
We have another new entry at #10 this week with âNothing Breaks Like a Heartâ by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus. This is Ronsonâs sixth top 10 hit and Cyrusâ fourth (yeah, I thought she had more too).
Now, instead of separating what happened on the charts into Dropouts, Climbers, Returning Entries, Fallers and such, letâs separate into two sections: âWhat Survivedâ and âWhat Sufferedâ.
What Survived
What survived means essentially everything that still managed to chart this week, and Iâm actually surprised by how much power some of these songs have. Going in reverse order, I have no idea how âArms Around Youâ by XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee and Maluma managed to cling on despite a 17-space fall to #40. âPromisesâ by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down 16 to #38, âBaby Sharkâ by Pinkfong is down four to #37, âEmpty Spaceâ by James Arthur is down 10 to #34 (why did James Arthur of all people have the strength to stay during the avalanche?), âHold My Girlâ by George Ezra is down eight to #33, âShallowâ by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is down 27 to #32 (considering both streaming cuts and Christmas bloodbath), âLeave a Light Onâ by Tom Walker has returned to #31 for some reason, âwhen the partyâs overâ by Billie Eilish is down seven to #28 (again, surprised this oneâs still here), âTaki Takiâ by DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is down eight to #27, â1999â by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is down 11 to #24, âPolaroidâ by James Blue, Liam Payne and Lennon Stella is down 11 to #23, âLet You Love Meâ by Rita Ora is down eight to #22, âBetterâ by Khalid is down five to #20, âSunflowerâ by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down seven to #16, as is âZEZEâ by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset right next to it at #15, âFunky Fridayâ by Dave and Fredo is down five to #12, and everything else thatâs currently charting is either simply not notable (a drop or climb less than four spaces), in the top 10, a new arrival, a Christmas re-entry or in the top 10. Jesus. Now, whatâs gone?
What Suffered
This is a little nicer name for whatâs dropped out in the absolute onslaught of Christmas music and new arrivals (all returning and new entries this week total to 12 songs that werenât on the chart before). This week was an absolute bloodbath, and these are the murder victims. Former #1 âShotgunâ by George Ezra is out from #30, âAdviceâ by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #28, âAirForceâ by Digdat is out from the #20 debut, âMo Bambaâ by Sheck Wes is out prematurely from #27, âThis is Meâ by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out again from #36, another former #1 âEastsideâ by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is out from #31, âHappierâ by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #32, âI Found Youâ by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is out from #29, âMIAâ by Bad Bunny featuring Drake is out from #35, âAlways Remember Us this Wayâ by Lady Gaga is out from #39, âGoodbyeâ by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is out from #40 and finally, âBack and Forthâ by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill is out from #37. Iâd say itâs time to move onto the New Arrivals â but before, Iâd like to say that the BBC redesigned their UK Top 40 page, and it looks pretty cool. Anyways:
NEW ARRIVALS
#29 â âMAMAâ â 6ix9ine featuring Kanye West and Nicki Minaj
Of course, DUMMY BOY only had a stunted tracking week last week, so we have the effects of the album this week. This is 6ix9ineâs third top 40 hit in the UK, Nicki Minajâs thirty-seventh (yeah, I know, itâs insane), and Yeâs even crazier forty-third, and to be honest, itâs inoffensive, which is something Iâd never thought Iâd say about a 6ix9ine song, but, hey, it is what it is. Murda Beatzâs production is pretty cool for what it is, and I do like the eerie synth loop. 6ix9ineâs delivery is lazy and boring â and I still think we shouldnât let rappers say they kick women out of doors â but he doesnât last long so when Kanye comes in with that âman, oh my Godâ refrain it gets so much better. Iâm so used to Kanye Westâs pop-culture rambling, social media criticism/obsession, somehow relating to women nonsense he brings to nearly every single verse he does recently that Iâm used to it, itâs just something Iâve heard before delivered relatively comedically. Nickiâs refrain and verse actually has some work put into it, unlike the dudesâ bars, so yeah, I appreciate that, although her delivery and cadence is exhaustingly blunt and straightforward, to the point where itâs just kind of tiring. Thereâs some decent wordplay there, I guess. This is okay enough, and pretty much top-tier Tekashi to be honest. âKANGAâ also featuring Ye is even better, though.
#17 â âGoing Badâ â Meek Mill featuring Drake
Meek Mill and Drake working together is something I expected to happen anyway. Meek and Drake have seemingly squashed their beef and have relaxed after the âBack to Backâ situation and their popular 2015/2016 beef that revealed a lot about Drake, specifically his ghostwriting from Quentin Miller, and eventually stressed Meekâs relationship with Nicki enough for them to break up as a result. Oh, and you better believe they mention âback to backâ because of course they do, itâs the only funny wordplay they can conjure up, apparently. This is Meek Millâs first ever top 40 hit in the UK (congratulations) and in stark contrast, Drakeâs forty-fifth (yes, even more than Kanye), and his thirteenth just this year (probably and hopefully his last), and itâs mediocre. I didnât know what to expect because Iâve never really cared enough about Meek to listen to him, but an out-of-tune piano absolutely demolished by some bass while Drake spouts off with stuff like âI got more slaps than the Beatlesâ isnât exactly the best first impression. Is there a chorus here, or not? I canât tell, everythingâs just kind of the same until the ad-lib break thatâs long enough for Genius to count it as an entirely different section of the song than in Meekâs verse. It was âInterludeâ when I looked but it might be âPost-Chorusâ now. Yeah, it should be clear I donât care enough about this song. I do like Drakeâs delivery in the hook, though, itâs pretty energetic, but not enough to save it.
#10 â âNothing Breaks Like a Heartâ â Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus
So, yeah, I like this. It starts with some beautiful strings right before Miley Cyrus fades in with her country twang that Iâm starting to really appreciate, and those guitars come in to complement her and the deeper bass that I like the addition of, it really contrasts the otherwise pretty light production, that seems to be dramatic but kind of unfitting for the lyrical content about how the world can hurt you but heartbreak is the worst possible thing, because despite the beatâs melodrama itâs too upbeat to really work here, I feel. Ah, well, the hook is pretty memorable, and the orchestral stings is just one little barely-noticeable production quirk that I can talk about, seriously, Mark Ronson puts so much effort into crafting these songs over the years, itâs pretty great. It may be a bit too repetitive and slow for my taste, but, yeah, I can dig this. Good song, just not much to say about it.
#4 â âThe Power of Loveâ â Dalton Harris featuring James Arthur
The girl gets Leona Lewis, the Scouse dude gets Kaiser Chiefs, yet the WINNER gets James Arthur?! Really, James Arthur? Poor dude. You must know youâre an amazingly talented singer when you get James Arthur put on your song and you still make a surprisingly decent winnerâs single, hell, even win in the first place. Arthur is such an awful vacuum of talent, I was scared Harris would be affected by this but no, even with my half-bothering with the show this year I can tell heâs been consistently great, and heâs definitely not bad on here either, although the production has no unique charm to it and is just plastic Syco production as you expect, with James Arthur bringing an above-average performance (this means still pretty bad) with his moaning and straining that just pains me to listen to. Seriously, James, letâs have a cactus-to-man talk and let me teach you how to not sound like my dead cat who just popped some Xanax.
Conclusion
Worst of the Week goes to Dalton Harris and James Arthur for âThe Power of Loveâ â at least âGoing Badâ has some energy and legitimate soul to it, although Meek Mill and Drake still get Dishonourable Mention. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus take Best of the Week home for âNothing Breaks Like a Heartâ, and hell Kanye and Nicki made âMAMAâ bearable enough for them and 6ix9ine to get Honourable Mentions. See ya next week, where weâll probably see a few more Christmas songs. Delightful.
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