#didn't see them myself though
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about the bears! i can relate, i was born and spent my childhood in a small town in Siberia, forests are pretty close to us, too. and bears go into the town for food sometimes, esp in spring and autumn, they tend to scavenger on trash cans. i even remember how when i was in middle school a rumour went around how a bear is in a park nearby my school, and well, we all went to see the bear. fortunately there was no bear for us to see and we got in a big trouble for that xDD my parents even got a note "she went to a park to see a bear without permission, didn't have her coat on!!" and yes, reoccurring bear-chase dreams are a thing for me, too, lol
also i adore your art and Vasco especially, sunny, lovely boy. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful work with us : )
"Went to a park to see a bear without a permission! Didn't have her coat on!"
#that's such kid logic#there's a bear nearby! let's go check it out!#one time there was a group of wild boars near our school#didn't see them myself though#and once a bear walked through my grandparents backyard#I wasn't there to see that either but so I've been told#answered#redcofu#rural colorado 🤝 small town finland 🤝 small town siberia = recurring dreams where you're chased by bears
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Made designs for Megatron, Shockwave, and Soundwave :)
#transformers#maccadam#megatron#shockwave#soundwave#my art#just for fun. I do have a little bit of lore for them though#I didn't feel like drawing their alt modes oops. but Megatron's a tank#Shockwave's a massive scifi gun... turret... thing#And Soundwave's a CD player. I also want to note that he's human-sized (so very tiny for a Transformer)#I like Transformers' whole thing of playing w the characters like dolls. Making entirely new stories for them in every continuity#It's neat! And seems to inspire a lot of ppl to make fan-continuities (including myself now I guess xD) which are also cool to see
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"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armand#the vampire armand#loumand#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#alice molloy#must preface that NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO USE THIS FOR LDPDL HATE PURPOSES#even though louis (well both of them lbr) clearly had communication and commitment issues#armand directed a play that would KILL louis all because he was self conscious that louis didn't love him enough#anyway this is just one interpretation of the 'alice rejected daniel's proposal' convo scene#cause i see soo many people ask 'why did armand say all that' (and have wondered so myself)#even though we cant rule out the possibility that devil's minion happened in the past and that this was armandaniel history tease#armand could be projecting his choice re: louis and the trial onto alice's choice here#similar to how daniel was projecting his feelings about paris onto claudia in this same episode#i just think this would make sense thematically w armand's arc this season#(ie revealing what a deeply insecure and selfish and fucked up lover he is under his guise as a 500 yo devoted and caring husband)#armand 🤝 lestat: i will love you and i will hurt you. if i cant have you then i will break you#[plays under your spell by desire] whats the difference between love and obsession and desire? do you think this feeling could last forever#c.txt#mine#'she didnt think she could trust you' sounds like a YOU problem buddy#and then armand realizes he was wrong too late and bro was SCRAMBLING#the start of something beautiful aka failmarriage!!! :D
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adventure time comics good actually [id in alt!]
#i started reading these after i found a ryan north business postcard i got from tcaf that was adventure time-themed. thank you ryan north#got a lot of saved panels and i'm only at like the 15th issue rn i'm rlly enjoying myself!!#i didn't know the alt text (idk what else to call em) in squirrel girl was actually a carryover from adventure time#(which in turn was a carryover from dinosaur comics i guess??)#i'm glad to see them here though. bonus jokes. :)#contra.txt#adventure time#finn the human#jake the dog#princess bubblegum#ice king#marceline#bubbline
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I love the idea that Sasukes a little autistic bugger who doesn't understand social situations and is incredibly anxious, but actually out of team 7 I feel like he's the most emotionally intelligent. Also he has no shame. He does not physically know what that is and says the most chaotic shit for no reason other than he wanted to.
#I think for I while I was just projecting myself onto him with that first part#We both have autism me and Sasuke but we are on wildly different parts of the spectrum#I used to refuse to ask for food bc i thought needing to eat was embarrassing#Sasuke just does shit like he still has a lot of pride but i think that actually works with him#Bc if he didn't then he would be like way dead by now#I feel like in any social situation if he doesn't do something it's not out of anxiousness it's just that he doesn't care#And/or can't be bothered#Sakura or Naruto telling the server he asked for no pickles not bc Sasuke is nervous but bc he gen just doesnt want to#Doesn't follow social norms bc he's above that who cares what people think he does whatever the hell he wants you don't own him#He only follows them in Og bc I feel like that version of him is actually very prone to feeling embarrassment or shame#Does not care in shippuden#And he does it out of If he pisses these people off they will put him back in prison in the blank period#Me when i forget to hold the door open and now the cloud president wants me executed#I think if Sasuke stayed in the village he would be very prone to just making up bullshit for the fun of it#If you ask “is that true?” He will immediately be like “No I lied”#He just thinks it's fun#By now everybody knows to just ask if whatever hes saying is true or not bc he doesn't lie about that part#He likes seeing people react to things I feel#sasuke#uchiha sasuke#naruto#naruto shippuden#pro sasuke uchiha#Moldy-flowers#I say this but he's pretty non confrontational#Like if he gets too angry he'll leave the room#IF he stayed in the village- in canon he'd just stab the person#He would rather not engage in pointless battle though#Any version of him
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hi I like gelato a lot
youtube
#ask#anon#hi anon. sorry that i used this opportunity to talk about the sims 2 console port#ive had this template made and didn't use it for much besides a few jokes to send to friends#but i think it's on par for Gelato to be this knowledgeable about one of his favourite games.#but yeah basically i grew up with the xbox version of Sims 2 and since the xbox was my brothers console. i didnt get to play it a whole lot#and years later i bought the sims 2 on PS2 and noticed a lot of slowdown on actions and stuff#and the golden bolt (i think thats their youtube name) did a video about the console ports of sims 1 & 2 games#and i was kinda confused hearing them talk about how the sims 2 only had one save file (on PS2) because the xbox version had like eight#and so that. paired with me looking through the cutting room floor page of the sims 2#i was kinda curious to see if the xbox version really performed as bad as it does on the ps2 version#because the golden bolt was also talking about that in their coverage of the ports#and so like again. there's only two videos on youtube that I could find of the xbox version#and the ones uploaded by IGN run on the ps2 version. because of the fucking button prompts they show on screen#anyway. so like thankfully one of the only other xbox videos showcased making a sim. and it's. so much fucking faster than the ps2 version#like on the ps2 version. you'd select a hairstyle. wait 5-10 seconds. and then the hair changes and you get the ui element to customize it#press cancel and you wait 5-10 seconds to revert back to your previous hairstyle#on the xbox version though? it's so much fucking faster#i haven't checked gameplay of the gamecube version but ik that speedrunners use specifically just that version of the port?#im not sure why only because i havent done the research to check what's better about the gamecube version#granted. i have to get around to getting an original xbox controller at some point to prove it for myself that the xbox port runs the best#i know it probably wont be perfect due to the disk having a few scratches. but its gotta beat my ps2 copy#im also curious to see how many save files i used. because im almost certain i used like 6-7 of them#just because i kept creating new story modes with almost identical alien sims with mohawks#in my last playthrough. i think i broke that tradition and gave my sim a flatter haircut. i also forget if i made him an alien or not.#i havent played it in a year due to getting my computer and it taking up the space i used for my crt setup#anyway. hi anon. sorry about that. im happy you like Gelato :)#i genuinely love him so much ever since Helper sketched him up. like she absolutely nailed it. literally couldn't ask for anything better#and writing up stuff for him has honestly made me love him so much more#thank you for the ask anon!! :)
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Fragonard indulgences
Belle d'Amour (a herbal, original vanilla scent. prominent notes seem to be angelica (star of the enchanting packaging), amber and vanilla)
Un Momént Vole hand soap and decorative glass dish (a soap with an airy, delicate scent, celebrated with a glass dish featuring a beautifully modern rococo still life)
Set of four Fleurs du Perfumeur guest towels (pure cotton towels with illustrations of iris, mimosa, orange blossoms and figs)
Belle de Paris Hand Cream (iris, clementine and violets - sophisticated powders in a decadent, beautifully packaged hand cream)
#un moment volé was literally the first perfume I ever got#they discontinued it but it was back over christmas#I still have a good deal left (I didn't wear fragrance regularly then and grew out of the scent) so I didn't get into it#although I now see the profile was slightly different and I might've enjoyed it? ANYHOW#I LOVE the glass dish. so I'm willing to spend 24€ on that & enjoy the soap as a nostalgic treat#I bought the hand towels for my parents last christmas and I think they're SO pretty#so I'm secretly buying them for myself. dreaming of the future...#the hand cream is mostly because I want to try the scent without getting a huge bottle. it sounds REALLY up my alley (iris. powder)#ALSO oh my gOD they are so pretty???! I loveeeeee the hand creams from the belle line. how cute!#belle d'amour is a blind buy. it just sounds really cute. green vanilla. also it has been pointed out how similar it is to a guerlain scent#I've been sighing over for ages. no way to try either though so it's like. I guess I'll just jump the gun? and hope for the best?!
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Everyone posts about how Stardew Valley is a cozy LGBT+ inclusive game but NO ONE mentions the lack of a platonic option for the bachelors/bachelorettes. Which would be good for aspec people and also just more pleasant for many casual players I believe but that's not even the point. I just want to become best friends with everyone and not only does that require me dating everyone at once and feeling like a sleazebag because of it (ik the bad cutscene can be avoided but I know in my heart they'd be hurt if they knew) BUT it also means the women flirt with me!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!! It makes me sick to my stomach. Truly ruining the characters I liked
#this post is not that serious or meant to be an Analysis or a Discourse Post or a Hot Take or whatever#i just think the dating thing needs to be handled differently#i should be able to Not Date characters and still get 10 hearts with them#also ive never made it far enough in stardew valley to marry someone and this is the first time i could even date someone#and ive heard that the flirtatious comments dont stop once you're married which is. really awkward for me#i mean i could probably handle the guys flirting with me while im married but id hope being married would be an off switch for it#its just awkward to have ppl im not actually dating and only gave a bouquet to so i can be their friend be called my bf/gf when. they're Not#i seriously need to find some kind of mod to fix this once i finish getting all the girls up to ten hearts#i will deal with the stomach churning grossness of the flirting for a while so i can see everything#but then I'm DONE!!! I'm DONE!!!! I just want my friends back!!!!#maru and abigail and haley !!! my buds!!!#NOT emily shes scary and NOT leah because we just didn't click and DEFINITELY not penny because i fucking hate her#penny sucks. penny dni#but yeah the flirting feels gross because im gay and repulsed by women romantically/sexually#and even though i did open myself up to this by playing the game. because i dont want it it feels like its being forced on me#which makes it feel even WORSE than normal#and its like. not only do i feel like I'm stringing along these characters#but i feel like my friendship with my favourites is ruined :(
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Party (group) party (celebratory)! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Gyrados#Ninetales#Sableye#Ampharos#Banette#Politoed#Pikachu#The lot! Mostly my SoulSilver guys but a kind of general mishmash of nostalgia and aiming-fors#Even tho I played Yellow when I was quite a bit younger I never beat it or got particularly attached to my 'mon and ended up selling it#Mistake I know blame the folly of youth lol#So I really consider Soul Silver as my ''first'' game - though I beat X before SS pfft just can't make it simple eh!#But I got veryyy attached to my SSteam <3 It's fun to watch them grow in the photo album! Can see most of them as babies :D#I ended up with a Vulpix named Beauty since Ninetales is my favourite Pokemon <3 I knew she'd grow into a beauty! Thusly named#And a Magikarp that I thought would be ironically funny to name Beast because well - y'know lol#Did not even occur to me Once that they'd be Beauty and Beast haha - the reasoning is so strongly connected it just didn't register!#They're a fun duo :) Fire and Water Fish and Fox hehe <3 Cute lads!#Group of four was speculations about building a really ideal team for me - Mareep Line Obviously and Ninetales goes without saying#Sableye is another really obvious one lol I love Sableye so muuuuchhhh aghhh <3 <3#Banette wouldn't exactly fill in many gaps but I've always leaned more towards Ghost and Psychic types#The Politoed doodles were just for funsies tho lol I really can't decide on a Water type I like that I haven't already exhausted!#They're silly little frog guys which I do enjoy haha#Probably not my personal pick but I like them :)#The aforementioned Yellow playthrough had me with a Pikachu I named Sparks which I then wrote fanfic about haha#Baby's first fanfic and fanart were both Pokemon! I have no idea where it'd be now as it was in a notebook but I remember the gist at least#Thought it'd be nice to bring him back to visit <3#And then some silly ones for myself lol what's a good trainer pose!#I think they're all silly lol but I do like the middle one :D#I'd love a Pokeball shirt like that! All the Pokemon things pls and thank you!
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Fuckkkkk my parents just mentioned taking the family to see Sonic 3 when it comes out
#Unfortunately they're both conservatives so I can't tell them the actual reason I don't want to see it#And even if I told them that I didn't want to see it because it looks bad (which would be true)#Then they'd probably all just go without me or bring me anyways#Even though this isn't really a situation I have that much control over I'd still feel shitty if I just completely went along with it#But I don't know how to get out of it without looking suspicious or completely embarrassing myself#At least I have about two months to try and think of something#Maybe that's enough time to come up with a good idea#Krafter Talks
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Liveblogging from mandatory resume workshop!: I need to be sedated
#I'm so freaking tired dude and I forgot I had to do this today#I've needed to cry for the last hour and a half but not a choice I suppose!#starting to realize that I've stumbled into the freshman dilemma again...are these people really my friends or do I just see them regularly#feel a great disconnect from the class I was most in love with at the beginning of the semester#don't have a relaxing weekend until the after the last day of classes#imposing myself on my acquaintances again because I just assume the world revolves around me#it didn't last weekend? my bad sorry for being annoying about it then. surely it will next weekend though!#___ remains an obligation albeit a fun one (but isn't everything)#& bless my acquaintances' hearts for trying to help me figure out my party planning but I'm not so sure I even want you guys there!#I'm actually getting nervous about this I feel like it could result in a judgmental affair...but only if x y and z are there!#mj has feelings
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Redraw time! Nearly a decade between these.
The first one is the first art I posted on the internet, as soon as my parents let me make a deviantart account. I was thirteen and used to draw this kind of thing a lot.
The second I drew last night at 2am because I wanted to make 13yr old me happy and also i got possessed by the sleepy art demon.
[ID: Image 1 - a coloured pencil drawing of an "anime style" girl taking a selfie with takanuva from bionicle. The girl has pale freckled skin, long brown hair in a low ponytail, and a slim green vest top. One arm holds up the camera, and the girl and takanuva each have one arm around the other's back. They're smiling with their eyes closed and the background is a sunny view of the sea and a beach with a sand castle. There's some sun glare in the corner of the picture, wispy clouds, and the sea has sparkles on it.
Image 2 - a digital drawing of a person taking a selfie with takanuva. The person has pale freckled skin, an underbite, long brown hair with growing out buzzed sides tied in a ponytail, and a black tshirt with the sleeves cut off. They have chipped black nails, an ear cuff and a couple bracelets including a rainbow one. They are grinning and are making a peace sign. Takanuva's eyes are making a happy expression and he is also making a peace sign (or perhaps failed bunny ears) behind the person. The background is a blue sky with wispy clouds and a beach. End ID]
My art has changed a lot, and I've grown so much, but some things have certainly stayed the same lol
#bionicle#redraw#takanuva#kid me put so much effort into figuring out drawing bionicle#I think they'd be so happy to see how I draw them now#not to get too deep on silly bonkle selfie drawing#but kid me couldn't picture how i could ever be me and an adult#I didn't know i was allowed to be like any of the things i am now#i couldn't imagine being a woman and i'm not#i couldn't imagine growing out of the things i adored and i haven't#i couldn't imagine myself being happy as an adult and even though a lot of things do suck I am#idk man looking at them side by side experiencing feelings i wanna give that kid a hug#life is fleeting and ever changing but bonkles are forever lol#anyway yeah this isn't a masterpiece or anything i just figured it'd be nice to put it here#please excuse text mistakes i am very tired as usual
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its been like 4 years i promise i am soooo normal about julie and the phantoms now
#its like im fine for months at a time and then all of a sudden i am hit with the knowledge that those boys DIED and spent 25 YEARS in limbo#not knowing what was happening while their FRIEND STOLE their legacy and didn't even have the decency to tell his daughter about them and#that julie a girl who had known them for all of 5 mins was like yeah sure i'll try and help you solve your unfinished business its the righ#thing to do even though i love you all so much and it's going to kill me a little bit inside to let you go because you guys are the reason#can even play music again after loosing my mum and closing myself off to the world and the people around him but yeah i will help you anywa#i can because i am the purest of souls and music is me#anyway yeah see i'm soooo normal about julie and the phantoms now 🫣#julie and the phantoms
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the crazy thing about having low self esteem is that it doesn't just hurt you, actually
#one of my very best friends in the whole world is a drag artist#and recently they were performing at a drag brunch and i didn't go even though i said i would#because i was tired and anxious and didn't feel like pushing myself#but ALSO because i was having a bad day where i was like god. they probably won't even notice i'm not there#because all of their cool new drag friends will be there too. so actually it's fine that i'm not going!#and then guess what! their cool new drag friends didn't show up EITHER! and i missed out on a great show#and seeing my beloved friend!! because i was feeling shitty about myself!!!#AND i wasn't able to be there for them because they were super sad that none of their friends came to their first drag brunch!!!#anyways! just something i have been thinking about lately.
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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I feel so disconnected all the time.
#what am I doing wrong#why do I feel like I am speaking to myself most of the time#I'm a nobody#I just want to feel like I belong#or at least that people like me#please talk to me#please tag me in things#please just make me feel like I'm not alone#I know that's a hard thing to do though#I feel like I was born alone#I wish I were a goddess but I know I'm just ghost#and I feel like such an ungrateful bitch#“you managed to cajole some of your friends into doing something just last week. Why can't that be enough?”#because it was for my fucking birthday and I didn't even tell them that#because I worked all day and felt completely drained physically and mentally after#and yet it was one of the best birthdays of my life#much better then all the ones I spent alone#I have no clue where this was going and normally it would get saved to my drafts for nobody to ever see#but I am feeling so confident that if I post this then nobody who cares would ever see it that I'm about to do something stupid#I guess the mask cracking is the first step in getting better but also it's gonna be real bad
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