#didn't say it would b good (:
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
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the OG4 P4L playlist
i had to fucking edit this all by hand so i wouldn't have to leak my irl spotify....... also, there's obviously much more than this, but i didn't put bob marley and/or peter tosh's entire discography on here even tho i know thats what kie has in there. just trying to get a sense of the kinds of vibe that each pogue would bring to the playlist.
#jj has 1 song in there on purpose btw#kie obviously made the playlist#it's v hard to read but john b's pfp says “do it in a van”#i tried to add these in an order that i felt would be true to them#obvs kie is first then jj adds his joke song then pope adds some he's thinking off the top of his head which john b follows#then the rest is them adding as they're listening to their own music and find something that would be good for the playlist#fr tho i think their playlist would be like 200hrs long lol#sarah and cleo would be added to this once they joined the squad but i didn't include them bc i cannot pin down their music tastes v well r#outer banks#obx#pogues#kiara carrera#jj maybank#pope heyward#john b routledge#mine
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I blacked out and more Logince HS AU appeared on my canvas idk what happened (also ty @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat for some inspiration sorry it took so long to make a post about Them <3)
#spoondoodles#sanders sides#sanders sides fanart#ts sides#tss#logan sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#logince#I am here!!! for the platonic relationships!!!!! in this AU!!!!!!!#i have a strong character arc in my head about platonic logicality growing up together as childhood friends you have no idea asdfghj#i think they were very dependent on each other for many years so much so they'd copy each other but they're much more independent in HS#only remnant of that is that they have the same glasses + emotionally vent to each other a lot - their friends circle has grown enough#they don't live in each others' pockets anymore. roman + janus met in theatre + are gossip besties like they just talk shit together#(not completely sold on janus' design yet ngl i'm not happy with how i drew the vitilego but i'm working on it)#remus + logan are partners in chemistry in a classic teacher act of putting the 'disruptive' kid next to the 'good student' kid in hopes#that logan would stop remus acting out. predictably what happened instead is that they're friends now + remus is still as disruptive#but in a way that entertains logan so they get their work done early. now the teacher can't separate them. lol lmao.#remus knows ALL. but has been sworn to secrecy so can't say shit. janus knows roman's feelings but only suspects logan's.#patton didn't even have to be told by logan he just KNEW + is choosing not to speculate on roman's feelings b/c he's too polite.#virgil isn't here but that's b/c he also KNOWS without being told + is in an even more precarious position than remus. if they were#on better speaking terms he'd commiserate with remus. alas they are suffering separately.#anyway enough rambling from me. many thoughts head full.
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#hotd#asoiaf#hotd critical#team black#fire and blood#anti team green#asoiaf fandom#these people love to cite daenerys this one time#as if “a dragon is not a slave” doesn't just mean you can't FORCE a bond#not that it's a fucking free-for-all game of finders keepers#targs derive their power from their monopoly over dragons because they have the power to enforce that monopoly#that's how ownership works#Rhaenyra was not just the heir to the throne she was also the future head of the family + highest ranking dragonrider#If she didn't want Aemond to have Vhagar and if she would have had Viserys say NO had Aemond asked then yes he did indeed “STEAL” Vhagar#again because he knew he would be told NO#a non-misogynistic jaehaerys would have sent his ass to the wall#the whole point of that scene in F&B was the important matter (vhagar) was pushed aside because viserys didn't want to deal with 'drama'#and because of aemond's eye rhaenyra was not in a position to push#So yes actually it was a pretty good trade for aemond
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winston my quant of billions
#''😒''#corned beef#winston billions#& green of all things; drew it in purpley pink & being like whoa hey is this too much deliberately breaking out this Rare Coloring#minty fresh....been funny to be rotating the villainy of; let's say; bsol & xmas & then thinking about billions' whole other world there#& its completely different take where of all things winston is like. treated as a villain in a way its sicko My God central men aren't#(who are also quite different from iconis villains but yknow with the very fundamental differences in general what else is a surprise)#axe? prince? alive & well & billions does mean to be commenting on that like yeah sure#but winston? gotta be humiliated & violated & attacked / killed (if figuratively + just by assumption Oh He's Fiiine)#as well as basically truly dead to everyone but in a Never Existed / Spontaneously Shunned way. nobody thinks about him ever again#including when non wretched central men characters are getting these silver linings Benefits from their sabotaging a central man#not winston though maybe; the writing has forgotten him / sees no worth in bringing him up unless At His Expense; not gain#didn't get background randos telling prince or the like to go fuck himself at any point. open contempt reserved for winston there#better to have Objective Entitlement to power over / access to people & then; hey what the; be an asshole about it???#than to not just Have that entitlement & not expect it & not try to use it & be friendly & minding your own business as much or more than#any other characters like good lord what a Loser. the queerness & disability of this inferiority? just some jokes (at winston's expense)#& we will be killing him like nobody even considers for central men takedowns. those are polite & we all have Some regret it came to this#better to abuse people than. be so unepic (different from Normal white cishet 50some men who love certain media)#& on that note you're never gonna guess what's Good to do to the unepic people who bring it upon themselves....yeah haha. abuse#you're never gonna guess but power difference is a given & also good if an epic person has that power. & on that note#what can they do with it but keep unepic people in their place? what other hope do we have? winston may try to say a pun. or speak at all :#anyway while there's the absolute joys of Any Good Bastard over in a wildly different oeuvre it's like well yknow#while winston is already Ruining Things as more a Wretched Sicko Evil Asshole for seeing himself as a person & others as people#instead of himself as an inferior who has to apologize for existing & initiating any interaction vs only ever doing as he's told#unlike the best heroes who know they're superior & will use others & mess with their lives however they feel is justified; you're welcome#like well if winston's such an exceptional dick(tm) around here that he has to be introduced w/discussion / explanation around this#great let him be even bitchier & more ''difficult''....& billions would never & that's why [sorry to all the characters trapped in there]#the slightest glimpses of like & The Quasirival Weirdo Duos Are Kinda Being Cunts b/w usual parallels riawin & taylip#what comes of that? oh nothing. but as ever these are at least glimpses of a little more liveliness & range for making room for this a sec#anyway imagine getting so niche that your other kinda just as niche thing is like. less niche. but not really. wheee yayyy fr lol My Whimsy
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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(╥﹏╥)
#We've had our yearly secret santa gifts exchange at my dorm and I've been gifted the first volume of Beast 😭😭😭😭😭#I'm crying forever. This december marks three years since I've watched the first b/sd episode#and yet this is the first time I actually own a b/sd manga volume. Like I own it and I can read it whenever I want!!! How cool is that!!!!!#Like there's so many Akutagawa images in it!!!! It's insane!!!!!!!! AND IT'S BEAST AT THAT#I'm deeply moved because I never spoke about it to virtually anyone here (at my dorm)?#Like I suppose a bunch of people vaguely know I like anime but only a couple of close friends know I like. Like-like reading manga lol.#And the person who gifted it DEFINITELY didn't know I like anime in general much less b/sd specifically much less Beast in particular!!!!!#I'm 100% sure (they just arrived this year and we hadn't even had that much occasions to talk to each other).#Which means they went through the trouble of gathering intel from my close friends about what I like and actually follow through‚#seek for the specific manga in a comic store etc... It's such a nice gesture I'm so heartwarmed.#And of course I'm glad for every gift I've received in the last years (genuinely)‚ but the fact that this was the most *specific* to what–#I like. It makes it so special! They were so kind.#There must be one (1) person in this whole 60 people dorm who knows I like Beast–#(that would be the girl who introduced b/sd to me in the first place) and the fact that they asked them for it...#I feel both very grateful and lucky lol#When I unwrapped it!!! Like I thought it was just a random book which would have been nice but like!!!!!#When I actually saw through the thin paper the cover!!!! The scream I screamed in my head#Anyways!!!! I own a b/sd manga now!!!!! I've only got time to go through the first chapter so far but it's suchhhh an experience.#It's like reading it for the first time again 😭😭😭 Half because the translation is so much different than the English one lol.#And I basically know the English version by heart. Half because I never saw this kind of high quality!!!!! It's!!!!! Insane!!!!! Like!!!!!!#I'm crying 😭😭😭 The drawings are so sharp and crisp (in the good way). The lines are so clean there's no disturbance at all#I literally never saw anything so good in my life I'm crying a little. I'm so so glad they blessed me with Beast specifically#The takebon edition is pretty cheap (it's just planet manga so there's no color illustrations or dust cover or anything unfortunatelly.#But to make up for it the volumes are significantly cheaper then let's say J-Pop)#There's also some unique typesetting choices? The text from the book-like boxes is in lowercase which is interesting!#Initially I thought I wouldn't have liked the translation (opening it randomly there was Akutagawa saying “crepa!” (“die!”) to Dazai in ch1#Which was kinda jarring since it's very low register and everyone knows Akutagawa has very complex speech patterns.)#But actually reading it I'm really enjoying the translation so far!!!!#There's so many choices that made me grasp details I actually missed all the times I've read the English translation.#That is to say! Very excited to read it!!!! Will probably make a review / translation commentary if I can find the time!!!!!
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People are so clearly biased in their hatred of John B
I seriously saw someone attack John B because he "didn't cry enough after JJ died" ya'll dipshits do realize that he cried more than Kiara did? Yet I don't see them attacking Kiara... and Kiara was dating the fuckin dude!!
John B literally can't do any right in the eyes of JJ stans. Tomorrow I'll see someone say that John B is horrible because when he cried, his tears fell down on his left cheek vs his right cheek 🙄🙄
#outer banks#jj maybank#kiara carrera#john b routledge#also that person was mad because he cried more when sarah almost died#sarah was his girlfriend and woman he had just proposed marriage to#so of course he cried more#but it wasn't like he didn't cry at all for jj#this is what i'm saying when i say that this fandom puts more priority on friendships vs romantic relationships#john b is a friend and a romantic partner to sarah and that's important despite what this fuckin fandom seems to think#stranger things and outer banks have the worst fandoms#but at least with stranger things i've been in the fandom long enough to remember when it was good#and there's a darker side of this where jj stans put a man above a woman#as if jj deserved more crying than sarah#sarah deserved someone who cares about her#and then the real kicker is if john b hadn't cried as much as he did#then those same people would be attacking him as not caring enough sarah#right? or they just completely hate everyone who isn't jj#and this person has the nerve to bring this bullshit in the comment sections of a jarah post#like cmon just cause you don't ship doesn't mean you need to bring your anti shipper bullshit into this post
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very funny when people on letterboxd describe a movie as "didn't reinvent the wheel" and it's like. lisa frankenstein. cocaine bear. i just don't think that was their intent as movies youknow. i think it was to have a fun time.
#yeahyeah letterboxd but it's more as like. observable phenomena on a site where you get certain Crowds#1. this movie has almost only been reviewed by target audience (high ratings often fun details about making-of)#2. this movie has almost exclusively been reviewed by the non-target audience (lot of reviews wanting movie to do fundamental#thing differently which would dramatically change the core of the film. lot of faux-intellectuals trying to explain why they hate it)#3. this movie is awards-bait (lotta fawning not a lot of depth often)#4. this movie is genuinely is bad version a -- everyone is tearing their eyes out in the comments section#version b -- everyone who watched it did so for One actor and subsequently adores the film (my favourite kind of review)#5. so niche and strange you only get Very Serious Movie Watchers on there (can go either way on fun or not comments-section)#6. yeah what a good movie#and then *i saw the tv glow* which is a fascinating mix of target audience (mostly trans) screaming and non-target audience (mostly cis)#saying they didn't get it
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now that i'm playing dragon age: veilguard i understand hbomberguy so much better. think i could probably do a 3.5 hours long video called "dragon age: the veilguard is FINE and here's why"
#the writing in dragon age has Always been a bit clunky it's part of the charm#but yes there are sections in DAV that made me go “oh nooo”#but no it isn't as bad as people say#the mechanics are fun idc. it's bad that my new laptop can run all of BG3 fine but becomes laggy as hell in any city location in DAV tho#companions r generally charming and they're all professionals so it makes sense they're less prone to big fights than say DAO morrigan#but yes i do miss having a bit more tension in the party sometimes#the character creator is great for dudes but yea it would probably b cool if it were possible to have curvier bodies for those who want tha#but no it isn't literally impossible to make good-looking rooks. it's quite easy actually#and like yeah you can't have wildly out there body types but it's pretty cool that you can be a geralt type a twink or chubby as a dude#(i play male characters and have only done the female cc once for a custom f!inquisitor so i have more experience w that one)#the qunari also look. fine? the antaam don't look too soft or anything so far#the majority of complaints against this game were stupid and not rooted in anything real#BUT!!! i don't love it#solas continues to be a highlight#lucanis is great so far and i love neve#neve's voice acting is amazing#she manages to make some very disappointing lines sound good#but..... i can't pretend the writing *isn't* awkward in places#d'meta's crossing stands out to me as a pretty bad case of overly direct storytelling#(spoilers) talking to the mayor was deeply disappointing! he just TOLD rook what he did and why. it felt so anticlimactic#especially bc the imagery in the village was striking and grotesque#but there didn't feel like there was any payoff#other sections have been great#but DAV just feels like it completely lacks subtlety at times#the other DA games haven't always been masters of show dont tell but this section felt like a first draft#like someone was working out the story and didn't have time to polish the script at all before the voice actors were called in#idk it really stands out to me as bad#also yeah it's noticeable that you don't really get to do evil things. at least not yet
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first of all rye 'hello fellow kids' ingellvar there is nothing in this world or any other I wouldn't do for you. second of all, considering where this story ends... I'm going to die. this conversation -- and how much he genuinely believes what he's saying at this point -- held up against the fact that in a couple of months max he's going to get her killed (well. that's how he feels anyway) and then go against everything she believed in and stood for as a person in the end and have to live forever with knowing that's how he honoured her sacrifice. (and live with how easy it is to live with, the way he doesn't regret what he did at all. she'll haunt him from time to time, that's fine, he's a watcher he's loved many a ghost before and will again. but that won't.) 'no one is beyond help? oh lace I'm so so sorry, wherever you are now please forgive me for who I am, but after what he pulled and by the time I'm done with him on my watcher's oath he will be beyond help. I'll hold every hand in this world that reaches back but his'. and she'll still be gone.
'or none of this matters'. im so fucking sad I feel sick *through tears* this is great I love fiction I love this game (embarrassingly genuine as is my wont)
#rye joining the cycle of violence on the side of violence with clear wide open eyes and seeing harding and varric#out of the corner of his eye for the entire rest of his life. this is fine! this is fine#there's going to be big 'you fuckers killed all the kind voices and now you're left with the vengeful cockroach motherfuckers (ME)'#(he was cleverly disguised at the time I see how they might have missed that until it was too late. but yes! yes! the tiger will be free)#energy from my guy in the third act of this story fhsakj (focused thankfully he doesn't want The World to suffer. just solas)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lace harding#this relationship took a while to coalesce for me (I think rye and harding are both too much people preoccupied with Seeming#in different ways to get each other at first and rye is at heart a cautious methodical academic which early game harding is not all about)#but now that it has it is crushing. it is awful.#also that just made me make a connection with how much and how easily lucanis likes and understands both of them.#rye isn't quite a people pleaser (mostly b/c it didn't actually work out for him growing up b/c he was such. a mess.#he tried to please but no one was pleased) but he and harding DO have some of these (well-meaning) interpersonal dishonesty parallels#head in my hands. grief in my heart. joy and hyperfixation in my fiction loving brain#this conversation was really really good for me personally every line rook says feels exactly like what rye WOULD say#some scenes you have to do some gentle rewriting in your head around to make fit but no I think this is pretty much it.#and then. the Cursed Knowledge of what's ahead making that ending silence so ominous. chef's kiss
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whatever afterlife exists in SGE must be the funniest shit ever imagine being some Jaunt Jolie peasant who gets a little too in the way of the Snake and dying only to see The Literal School Master cheering the Snake on. Imagine dying of like cholera or something and taking a little Ghost Vacation to Camelot and seeing the King of Camelot - who's dead, apparently - beating the shit out of some random other boy with weird eyes. imagine how flesh and blood went down. Do you think they all had popcorn for that
#I've noticed I have a pattern of putting a vast majority of what I have to say in the tags. and im doing it again#first of all I'm pretty sure there's confirmation that there is some sort of afterlife in SGE#in the chapter Dovey dies there's a brief appearance from ghost lady lesso#and in F+B there's a tedros line “the only place scum like that can be king is in hell”#which is immediately followed by the coldest japeth line I can remember but this aint about him#second of all this is largely an assumption but there's reasonable evidence to support the fact that Rafal was actually on Japeth's side#given that he wanted him to kill Sophie (I think) or just punish her a bit for killing him#it's actually left intentionally vague as to whether or not ARIC was on Japeth's side#in F+B tedros' version of Aric isn't and says that he a) wants nothing to do with Camelot (or Rhian)#and b) didn't want japeth to kill like thousands of people for him#so we really just. don't know#what I would also say is the fact that the prequels characters and the main series characters probably had some DEEP conversations#do you think the old Saders and the new Saders argued about who saw it coming first#or vulcan and Aric were besties (many areas of common interest. violence comes to mind)#I would kill for a version of one true king where there's just annotations from the ghosts#someone should write a fic or something#god that's a lot of tags#sge#tsfgae#school for good and evil#the school for good and evil#japethposting#sfgae#this was a draft if you couldn't tell
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So a little while ago at work I was cashing out a woman who was mostly communicating with intonation but no words, which was perfectly understandable, and she seemed to understand what I was saying but I did more gesturing like I usually do with customers who may be deaf/hoh. At some point she made a motion with her hand that looked like sign language to me, and I felt a little embarrassed because I keep meaning to learn ASL and just... haven't. So after she left I started trying to see if I could figure out what she signed at me.
Boy. I was not prepared.
The entire fucking search results were just articles titled things like "sign language for beginners!" showing me words like "UP" and "MILK." I got so desperate I was typing in search terms like "basic american sign language FOR ADULTS"
#i assume this is the deaf/hoh equivalent of when you google bpd and all the results are like#'how to escape a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP with an EVIL CLUSTER B PERSON'#i am not an infant and i do not have an infant i googled asl can you please show me asl resources fhajajncbdhfja#the other great breed of articles i found about asl is the ones that were like 'basic asl' and then just showed letters like bro#what am i supposed to do spell out every word letter by letter can you tell me how to say hi#actually if anybody is an asl speaker i think that a video series on basic asl for customer service would be super cool#like just 'yes' 'no' 'card' 'cash' 'thank you' 'do you need help' 'have a good day' etc etc#i looked that up but i didn't find anything :(#incoherent rambling
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I know Ai and Oom's grandma is currently the most stressed ever cause Oom is kinda sorta maybe dying, so I do actually give her a little pass for being absolutely godawful in all the hospital scenes, but there is NO excuse for every other scene before the crash. Including all the flashbacks.
Like I know she's not going to ever apologize and Ai will forgive her regardless because filial piety, so I just really hope she starts treating Ai better now that she knows she's made her own granddaughter feel so worthless she truly thought her own grandma would rather her potentially die than her sister.
#pluto the series#I know people want her to suffer and I get that but like#Ai would NOT enjoy that#life has already been so unbelievably cruel to her#she doesn't deserve to have to see her grandma that she clearly loves suffer too#I also think her grandma really didn't realize she destroyed Ai's self worth that badly#which isn't good or an excuse because a) how could she not know and b) why would you act like that to a kid your grandkid at that anyway#but I truly don't think she thought Ai would ever feel like she should potentially and basically die instead of Oom#and I think Ai finally saying that in that situation made her realize she has been ROYALLY fucking up#I just really hope she continues staying better in the coming episodes#no matter what happens with Oom#regular clyde
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The press went NUTS when they found out the Dick was working as a pole dancer. It was big news, and everyone wanted to know how Bruce Wayne felt about his Baby Boy working as a stripper. B was… well, he was ticked. Not at Dick, no, he was just proud of him for getting a well paying job in an area he enjoyed. No, B’s fury sat squarely on the press. Papers that had gleefully printed sexual photos and articles about him were now aghast about Dick.
See, B’s whole “playboy” cover wasn’t originally exactly Bruce’s idea. He remembered vividly as a teenager the perceived humiliation of these adults sexualizing every little thing he did and of the constant anxiety of trying and failing to control his image; the way they seemed to pounce on any tiny flaw in his appearance or behavior and the paranoia that developed after the first of many photos of him was published of him just… going about his day, paired with a big red headline blasting him for daring to be a teenager. He remembered being terrified of being seen wearing a swimsuit and refusing to eat in public. So eventually, him leaning into this sexualization as a cover story wasn’t so much because he liked it, but because he knew how eagerly everyone would eat it up.
Now here was Dick, making an informed, consensual choice about how he wanted to be perceived, and they wanted to vilify him for it. So yes, B may have flew off the handles a bit, and yes, it probably wasn’t the best move to punch a reporter, but he had fought Hell to protect his kids from what he had gone through, and that sure as fuck wasn’t going to change any time soon.
#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#B wears a shirt that says “sex work is real work” for a month and a half over this#thinking about child stars and the shit they go through#the press learned early on that messing with any of the Wayne children was a good way to be sued into oblivion#B is tired#he just wants to be left alone#and maybe the whole “billionaire playboy” shtick is a way to try and reclaim his public perception but that's between him and his therapist#he only even actively tried to maintain it for like a year before he realized that it didn't matter what he did#there is a reason there are so many pictures of the Wayne kids flipping off the press#when they were in med school together Harley used to threaten reporters who tried to interview her with a baseball bat#Dent personally offered to do a whole lotta liable suits as soon as he passed the bar#on a lighter note#I do think Dick would legitimately enjoy pole dancing#and it's not like he's against running around in skimpy outfits#tw sexualization of minors#tw loss of autonomy#tw mentions of anxiety and possible EDs due to trauma
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"You'll come back," Manon said.
It sounded like more of a threat than anything
Dorian smirked. "Would you miss me if I didn't?"
Manon didn't reply. He didn't know why he expected her to.
He'd taken all of a step, when Asterin clasped his shoulder. "In and out, quick as you can," she warned him. "Take care of Narene." Worry indeed shone in the Second's gold-flecked black eyes. Dorian bowed his head. "With my life," he promised as he approached her mount and grasped the dangling reins. He didn't fail to miss the gratitude that softened Asterin's features. Or that Manon had already turned away from him.
A fool to start down this path with her. He should have known better.
The hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence.
From anticipation, she told herself. Of what she had to do.
Abraxos, unsurprisingly, found them within an hour, his reins sliced from the struggle he'd no doubt waged and won with Sorrel. He waited, however, beside Manon in silence, wholly focused upon the gate where Dorian and Narene had vanished.
Time dripped by. The king's sword was constant weight at her side. She cursed herself for needing to prove-to him, to herself-that she refused to let him go into Morath for practical, ordinary reasons. Erawan wasn't at the Ferian Gap. It'd be safer. Somewhat. But if the Matrons were there … That was why he'd gone. To learn if they were. To see if Petrah truly commanded the host there, and how many Ironteeth were present. He had not been trained as a spy, but he'd grown up in a court where people wielded smiles and clothes like weapons. He knew how to blend in, how to listen. How to make people see what they wished to see. She'd sent Elide into the dungeons of Morath, Darkness damn her. Sending the King of Adarlan into the Ferian Gap was no different.
It didn't stop her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened, scanning the sky. As if he heard something they couldn't.
And it was the joy that sparked in her mount's eyes that told her.
Moments later, Narene sailed toward them, making a lazy path over the mountains, a dark-haired, pale-skinned rider atop her. He'd truly been able to change parts of himself. Had made his face nearly unrecognizable. And kept it that way.
Asterin rushed toward the mare, and even Manon blinked as her Second threw her arms around Narene's neck. Holding her tight. The mare only leaned her head against Asterin's back and huffed.
Manon hadn't dwelled long on what she'd say.
And as the three hundred Ironteeth witches filed into the hall, some coming off their patrols, Manon half wondered if she should have. They watched her, watched the Thirteen, with a wary disdain.
Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir.
When all were gathered, Petrah, still standing in the doorway where she'd appeared, merely said, "My life debt for an audience, Blackbeak."
Manon swallowed, her tongue as dry as paper. Seated atop Abraxos, she could see every shifting movement in the crowd, the wide eyes or hands gripping swords.
"I will not tell you the particulars of who I am," Manon said at last. "For I think you have already heard them."
"Crochan bitch," someone spat.
Manon set her eyes on the Blackbeaks, stone-faced where the others bristled with hatred. It was for them she spoke, for them she had come here.
jacket, then hoisting up her white shirt. Rising in the stirrups to bare her scarred, brutalized abdomen. "She does not lie."
UNCLEAN
There, the word remained stamped. Would always be stamped.
"How many of you," Asterin called out, "have been similarly branded? By your Matron, by your coven leader? How many of you have had your stillborn witchlings burned before you might hold them?"
The silence that fell now was different from before. Shaking shuddering.
Manon glanced at the Thirteen to find tears in Ghislaine's eyes as she took in the brand on Asterin's womb. Tears in the eyes of all of them, who had not known. And it was for those tears, which Manon had never seen, that she faced the host again.
"You will be killed in this war, or after it. And you will never see our homeland again."
"What is it that you want, Blackbeak?" Petrah asked from the archway.
"Ride with us," Manon breathed. "Fly with us.
Against Morath. Against the people who would keep you from your homeland, your future." Murmuring broke out again. Manon pushed ahead, "An Ironteeth-Crochan alliance. Perhaps one to break our curse at last."
Again, that shuddering silence. Like a storm about to break Asterin sat back in the saddle, but kept her shirt open.
"The choice of how our people's future shall be shaped is yours," Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. "But I will tell you this." Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. "There is a better world out there. And I have seen it."
Even the Thirteen looked toward her now.
"I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their peoples, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible."
Manon lifted her chin. "You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who cannot fight for it themselves. Too long have we preyed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers." The words she had given the Thirteen months ago. "There is a better world out there," she said again. "And I will fight for it." She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. "Will you?"
Manon nodded to Petrah. Eyes bright, the Heir only nodded back. They would be permitted to leave as they had arrived: unharmed.
So Manon nudged Abraxos, and he leaped into the sky, the Thirteen following suit.
Not a child of war. But of peace.
#Dorian Havilliard#Manon Blackbeak#Chapter 43#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#1st read-readW me-read along-no spoilers please-chapter spoilers in the post&tag+more notes/quotes/ reacts/annotations/etc-ordinary dagger#would be his only weapon-and the magic in his veins-If I don't come back he said while she tied the ancient blade2her keys must go2Terrasen#the only place he could think of-even if Aelin wasn't ther2take them-them u'll come back Manon said It sounded like more of a threat than#Dorian smirked Wouldumiss me if I didn't-Take care of Narene Worry indeed shone in the 2nd gold-flecked black eyes-A fool2start down this#pathW her He should have known better-hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence-Time dripped byKings sword a weight at#her sideShe cursed herself4needing2prove-2him2herself-that she had-she refused2let him go in2Morath4practical ordinary reasons Erawan wasnt#Ferian Gap Itd b safer Somewhat-He had not been trained as a spy but hed grown up in a court where people wielded smiles&clothes like weapon#He knew how2blend in how2listenHow2make people see what they wished2see-She'd sent Elide in2the dungeons of Morath-Darkness dam her it didnt#s2p her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened scanning the skyAs if he heard something they couldn't-& it was the joy that sparked in#her mounts eyes that2ld her-Asterin rushed2ward the mare&even Manon blinked as her 2nd threw her arms around Narenes neck Holding her tight-#Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir-It was4them she spoke4them she had come here-Crochan bitch-hell no that's a witch queen-She#doesnt lie-UNCLEAN There the word remained stamped Would always bstamped How many of U-silence that fell now was different from be4 shaking#shuddering-Tears in the eyes of all of them who hadnt known&it was4those tears which Manon had never seen that she faced the host againManon#ifted her chin u are my people-Whether my gr&mother decrees it so or notuare my people&always will bBut I will fly againstuif need B2ensure#theres future4those who cannot fight4it themselves2o long have we preyed on the weak relished doing so It is time that we became better than#our4emothers-words shes given the13-Theres a better world out there she said again-& I will fight4it She turned Abraxos away2ward the plunge#behind them Will u-their if u die ill kill u vibe-ugh obviouslyulove each other just get over it-warned hum-my life-gratitude even softened#the witch-Shapeshifter-bye bluebell birdie-His ice-the Valg-just this once-if it keeps them alive then good enough-him&Vesta-terse-dont let#Aelin go4them either please-& the magic in his veins-his true weapon is smarts-come back-she cared her eyes say it all-Wmy life-not a fool#just in love-colds their middle name-her waiting😭-Lys would bproud of his skill-joy in wyverns is giving cuz she screamed4U like I did-Petra#their fallen Heir-a life debt-yes I had2switch2short dashes there’s just2o much going on all the time-4 them she spoke2gather2save-Asterin b#b-made-are monsters born or maid chicken egg wyvern solved-only queen-k how old r they-glory-always-my bb13crying2gether now imma cry-ur#Future is giving a better world vibes-I have seen it-a good queen-real love-u are my people-yes Manon speech-not a child of war but of peace#Manorian#The Thirteen
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