#didn't read this just posted it :3
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jacaerys velaryon x fem!knight!reader drabble based on this ask <3 ( w. 735 )
꒰ dame is the historical title for a female knight, though i don't think its ever used in asoiaf ꒱
check out my event ! ִֶཐི༏ཋྀ
⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆
"your grace-"
"i am your prince, and i command it," jacaerys replies, a cocksure grin tugging at his mouth.
you gaze upon the prince, shifting in your stiff metal armour. these suits are not made to fit ladies — the breastplate presses uncomfortably on your chest, and the sharp steel edge of the bodice digs painfully into your hips where it rests too low. queen rhaenyra had made efforts to have a suit forged to your measurements, but this was the placeholder.
"you... already have guards, your grace — two that wait outside of your room at all times. i mean no offense, but would it not be pointless to have a guard inside as well?" you ask, anxiously rolling the hilt of your sword in your palm.
its late into the evening, sun setting upon the rocky facade of dragonstone and bathing everything in a reddish-golden light. he draws a finger across the table where he sits, looking up at you. jacaerys comports himself with a regal air, all smooth black attire and calculating eyes. those very eyes, dark and deep, assessing you in this moment.
he stops his absentminded little circles, straightening up in his seat. he sighs, clasping his hands in his lap and casting his gaze upon them, "it is only... my mother, the queen, was attacked in her chambers only a fortnight ago. there is unrest in the castle, moreso since. i feel-" he looks up at you, mouth in a soft pout and eyes glassy, "unsafe."
he's intelligent, and strategizing, and very endearing in his little manipulative streak. he knew just how to bend you, he had seen you crumple at the fall of his tears before.
"if-" fuck, "you... you must speak to your mother about this, my prince."
he graces you with this horrible, mock-hopeful expression, "you would not object?"
"not if this is what you wish. i am sworn to house targaryen, and you... are my prince."
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
"this suits you."
as a guard, you are limited in your permission to move. you stand, back to the door and one hand on your sword at all times — you do spare the prince a glance when he speaks.
"pardon, your grace?"
his hair is damp from his bath, curls slicked back with water. he's clad in naught but a thin tunic and linen breeches, a scarlet robe draped over his lithe frame. he gestures fluidly at your body when he replies, "the armour. the smith did a wondrous job in tailoring it to fit."
his gaze is far from subtle — eyes starting at the curve of your throat, lingering briefly at your shoulders and arms and waist, before landing where your thick woolen skirt meets your boots.
you swallow thickly, "thank you, my prince."
his eyes dart back up, smile deceptively sweet, "the hour grows late," a few calculated steps forwards, "i fear words for my gratitude escape me-" that sweet, warm smile, "but i am glad that you are here-" his hand, searingly warm, lands upon the part of your bicep exposed by your pauldron.
before you can reply, he squeezes gently. and then he's gone — that spot on your arm warm still, even through the long sleeves of your tunic. he has departed for his bed across the room, no glance spared behind him, single-minded attention focused on his destination.
you stand still at your post, eyes flitting around the room as he prepares to sleep. it is obviously a show, carefully designed for your eyes -
the way he sits on the bed facing you, rolling his shoulders and then neck; how he stands, body unfolding with measured grace; his hand carding through his hair, damp curls spilling around his face once disrupted. he doesn't look at you, as if this drama and allure is part of his nightly routine. his robe comes off slowly, one arm and then the other before it cascades down his back like water.
"i prefer to sleep in fewer clothes," he says, looking back over his shoulder, the cruelest little smile deepening his dimples, "if that does not offend, dame."
you're in no position to say no, to deny him any request. so you shake your head, "it does not offend, your grace."
his shirt comes next, arms and shoulders moving in a way intended to show the lean muscles from a lifetime of sword training.
a long night ahead, no doubt.
#didn't read this just posted it :3#𖦹。⋆ jace#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#jacaerys x reader
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apparently when Astarion is reading the Necromancy of Thay book and he says "No I won't kill them. Well maybe [character name]" the companion he mentions is always the one who has the highest approval with the player (or second highest if he has the highest approval) Lmao He is jealous. I didn't know how this works. I thought it's random but he always said Shadowheart in my game and I never figured out why.
#am I the only one who didn't know this??#I just read this in the youtube comments... lol I never would have realised on my own#every playthrough I ever had he always said her name and I never knew why but it's true ...the two of them are#always the ones who give me the most approval early on and she is usually first and he is second so he is jealous x"D#funny#astarion#necromancy of thay#bg3 mine#my post#my posts#bg3#baldur's gate 3#1k#2k#3k
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jealous! viktor x reader (headcanons + tiny scenarios)
summary: viktor sees you talking with a friend and get jealous.
content warning: idk if it counts as a cw but jealousy?? also, i made with s1 viktor in mind!
author notes: heyyy, so sorry this one is little, im still trying to find motivation after the end of the series but i think it turned out cute! thank u for the request and hope u like it!! :)
» it was a common sight to see you walking up and down piltover’s academy, working or just chilling on lunch breaks, but every time viktor would approach you, you were already with someone. sometimes an unknown person, other times with a friend, laughing and joking, touching them in such a sweet way, side by side in the aisles.
» he looked at you both, blood boiling and shaky hands. if you looked at him, it was possible to see his lips forming a thin line, brows furrowing, his left eye almost twitching. oh, he was jealous.
» he felt angry at himself to feel like this, he didn't mean to be jealous at all, but he wanted to steal you away, just for a second, and be the one by your side, be the one you smiled to, the one you’ve been touching so sweetly.
» he wanted to reach for you, to interrupt your silly conversation about whatever you two have been talking about, he wanted to share his new discoveries with you, he wanted to be in their place so bad.
» but he couldn't complain, not when you waved a goodbye at your friend, and turned your body, recognizing viktor, eyes lighting up immediately, smiling from ear to ear.
“viktor!”, you shouted, voice echoing in the aisle while you walked to him, “i’ve been looking for you all day. you wouldn't believe what happened!”
he looked at you, expression softening, eyes shining, mimicking yours, his thin lips now turning into a little smile, “yeah? tell me."
» soon all the jealousy melted away, now, he is the one walking by your side.
#—swe writes#league of legends x reader#lol x reader#viktor x reader#arcane x reader#i should thank my friend this time bcs they helped me on this one#i didn't like how it turned out and was erasing and rewriting and easing and#but if my friend says its good then its good#thank u friend#so sorry if some of you guys read my tags and all my post have the same thing#< “thank u friend” and stuff like this. but they really help me out all the time#this is why i always thank them#they aint even part of the fandom! i just rant about arcane to them all the time#love my friend dearly <3#anyways!! sorry if this one is tiny. my motivation is almost zero these days#school stuff has been hard but its fine! at least i can write sometimes :)
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Aventurine x Reader
You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves.
Read part 2 here !
Only barely proof-read, guaranteed to have lots of grammatical errors, English is not my first language and I am experimenting with my writing style <3
CW: smut, handjob (Aventurine receiving), dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), feelings of inadequacy, hurt/very little comfort, crying, mentions of death, at some points this seems like dubcon because Aventurine speaks of feeling “dread”, but it’s NEVER intended to be read as him not wanting to receive touch from reader, it is meant to convey how little he thinks he deserves this. The smut is soft and gentle, but Aventurine’s internal thoughts definitely are not <3
Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!
18+, minors will be blocked <3
Your touch is so kind. Soft and gentle, as if he is made of the finest porcelain, as if he is a fragile flower, as if he is delicate. It is cruel, he thinks, that he has made you think he is any less than a monster. It is cruel that he hasn’t pushed you away, when he knows he will devour you. It has become part of his nature.
But how can he push you away when you are so persistent? How can he push you away when you roll with his punches, when you go along with each and every one of his pushes and pulls? It is hard to keep you out when you insistently pry your way into what’s left of his soul, when you gaze upon the rotten corpse that he is and still claim him to be beautiful. He thinks you must be blind at best and naive at worst.
“You’re so pretty,” you whisper reverently, and though Aventurine knows his body is, he also knows that is not the part of him you’re referring to. Not when your hand rests on his chest, above the empty cavern where his heart is meant to be.
You kiss his neck and he shivers. There’s a pit in his stomach, knotting his insides with dread.
He should tell you to stop, should warn you that he’s deceiving you, that he’s not the person you think he is. Should show you that he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, that he is a bad omen. But he can’t bring himself to. Not when being with you feels so good, not when he’s self-indulgent to a fault, and he can’t help himself with you. He is the worst mistake you could ever make, in part because he can’t even stop from letting you continue to make it.
His hands rest on the back of your neck, fingers tangled in your hair. It is unfair how good your touch feels, his back arching just from mere caresses upon his skin. You play him like he’s an instrument you’ve practiced for years, despite never having fucked him before. He digs his heels into your back as your hand wraps around his dick, and he whines into your shoulder when you lovingly stroke it.
“I love you,” you murmur as he pulls on your hair, as his nails dig into your skin, and he wants to cry. He will destroy you from the inside out, he knows, or maybe he will kill you before he gets the chance to. He can never keep the things he loves alive.
Your lips kiss his skin, and he moans brokenly as your thumb glides over the head of his cock, pushing down on the tip. His hips rock up to meet your hand, and he feels ashamed of how blatantly he allows himself to enjoy you, how blatantly he allows himself to use you. You deserve so much better, but you are the best thing that he has ever managed to get his bloodstained hands on, and so he can’t help himself. He wants you to remain unaware of how much better you could do. He wants you to stubbornly remain by his side even when he makes it hard for you to do so. He wants to bare every part of his being to you so you can see how little worth he is to you. He wants you to run from him before it’s too late.
But part of him knows he already has shown you himself, that you’ve seen who he is and you still love him. You must be stupid.
“Use me,” he begs you, wishing you’d do something with him to alleviate the guilt he feels, so it would at least be mutual. His hands cling to you, and he whimpers pathetically when you lean back to look down at him. “Use me, please. Please…”
And your eyes are so kind. Your eyes are so sweet and soft and human, and everything he is not.
“Shh,” you hush him, tenderly pressing a kiss to his lips. He sobs, feeling embarrassing tears fill his eyes as you press closer to him, the touch so caring and innocent yet so lewd as your hand tugs at him. “Just let me make you feel good, okay?”
And you do. You always keep true to your words, unlike him. It’s barely a minute later that his breath hitches and he keens, nearly wailing into your neck as he comes undone under your too loving hands. It’s obscene, and he feels filthy as his semen paints your hand and splatters on his lower stomach. He has soiled your perfect skin, has dirtied your perfect body. He hopes you will let go of him and wash yourself up, then leave him here, broken on the bed in the mess he’s created. That you will leave him to pick up the pieces of himself he has left. He is undeserving of you.
And yet he only feels your love swaddle him when his body relaxes, adoring praises and sweet words tumbling from your perfect lips as your perfect hands gently stroke his body, soothing him as if he is deserving. Your perfect body presses closer to him, no doubt getting his mess on your perfect abdomen as you almost lay yourself flat on him. You pepper perfect kisses all over his face, and he realises belatedly he’s crying. For the first time in ten years. Fat tears rolling down his cheeks, and he doesn’t know for what reason.
But you seem like you do know. You look so understanding, wiping his tears with an achingly kind, perhaps slightly sad smile, and you don’t ask him why.
“I’ve got you now, it’s okay,” you say instead. And you do, because you always keep true to your word.
And he is selfish, because he doesn’t stop you. He lets you clean him up, lets you kiss his tears away, lets you take care of him. Lets you climb into bed with him afterwards, unaware that you have brought the monster under your bed up into your loving arms. He hasn’t felt so much love since he was nine.
And he is selfish, because even though he can already feel his claws dig into your flesh as he holds you in return, he cannot bring himself to pull away. He can only hope he won’t dig in his heels when you eventually see reason and try to leave. He can only hope you will have the time to get away before he kills you.
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My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3
#[18+]#[rawbin]#[aventurine]#[rawbin fanfic]#[by me]#aventurine x reader#Do I think this is how his first time with any person would usually go ? No#Do I intend for this read of him to be the standard for how I write him ? Also no#Just thought it would be interesting :3#Didn't even originally intend to upload this when I wrote it but urgghhghhgh I want to prove I want to write....#plspslspsls send requests to me pls guys I can't do this I'm not creative enough to come up with my own prompts#art by yours truly btw but I won't put it under the art tag because I'm still finishing it up to post the full image later#aventurine hsr#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine star rail#reader x aventurine#aventurine x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr aventurine#hsr#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#smut#aventurine smut
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non-comprehensive haruhi autism creature comp
i mean just look at him she's literally
#kiss kiss fall in love :|#i'm not kidding there's so many panels like this. haruhi is a little bug with big beautiful brown eyes. literally (O_O)#nobody else is drawn like this in the manga it's just haruhi#still going through the manga yippee#ohshc#ohshc manga#fujioka haruhi#haruhi fujioka#i am a big believer in autistic haruhi and this isn't the biggest reason but it is a funny reason to me#also hitting haruhi with the he/she headcanon beam. i can't help it but also i mean. maybe a little more justifiable with haruhi than anyon#else i can think of. like just look at the show idk read the manga#ouran high school host club#ouran koukou host club#woahh fancy fancy pulling out all the stops (i guess)#eugh i should stop writing tags my laundry's been done sitting in the dryer for like. 20 minutes#also sorry these images are so small and busted i uh didn't look at them before posting and am not going to fix them <3
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Micro comic Summer is back!
Here's my tiny tale from last year, of some kiddos finding a hurt baby dragon, and taking care of it until the dragons return next spring.
#art#comic#webcomics#dragons#fantasy creatures#microcomicsummer#ty hiveworks for a cool little event#but yeah as i mentioned yesterday:#i didn't make a new comic this year just because I had two other big comic projects#a third (even just 4 pages) would've been too much for me i think#been wanting some time to focus on illustrations#so just celebrating by posting my comic from last year--- which i actually haven't even posted here on tumblr yet#hope u enjoy ty for reading <3#micro comic summer#dragon#fantasy art#dragon comic
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meet cassian :]
close ups and more info under the cut!
gloomiest guy you’ll ever meet
pathetic loser
he’s an artist
comes from a rich family
he barely leaves his house, he stays inside a LOOOOOT
insane attachment issues
clingy and dependant yandere
he guilt trips a lot (isn’t really aware of it lmao) can be really manipulative without trying unfortunately
texts you constantly but if you don’t answer back in like 5 minutes he starts freaking out
sometimes he’s normal enough but if you take too long he WILL lose it
doesn't like it when you talk to other people, why can't you just talk to him? is he not good enough for you? what's so interesting about other people anyway?
he hates stairs (he's fallen down and up the stairs WAYYY too many times)
shy (lmao ok) and introverted (has a really hard time talking to people)
has a mascot! (his name is PopUp :] he made him for a school project and just ended up liking him a lot lol)
sopping wet cat
don’t be mean to him, he doesn’t like it, even as a joke
doesn’t get much social interaction cause he stays inside a lot
WAYYYY more comfortable texting, he’s like a totally different person when you’re texting him
spams a lot. like a lot
used to be a lot more outgoing and social
wishes you could be by his side 24/7
he’s sad a lot of the time
feels unloved, please shower him in love
really pessimistic when it comes to himself
he’s really passionate about art
you and art are the two things that make him extremely happy
if you thought nox was tired, meet cassian! he has an even worse sleeping schedule than nox
he’ll do ANYTHING to keep you by his side
so he can and will kidnap you! lol!
is also a stalker… great..!
has probably installed a camera somewhere in your room (um??)
you’re probably one of the only people that can convince him to leave his room
really loves shoujo manga, has fantasized about being the perfect male lead for you (he really wants a romance like that, only with you)
he's a huge romantic, he wants the two of you to have a happy life together
so please don’t leave him. please
takes a lot of walks at night, don’t worry he doesn’t spend ALL of his time inside (he wishes he could tho.)
he wants to have his happy ending with you <3
#num draws#cassian posting#<- hehe#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere male#oc art#yandere#original character#digital art#guys meet my sopping wet cat of an oc! i love him dearly!#also. i think i said this before but i put a lot of my own traits into my ocs#this fucker has the most of my traits. i wonder what that says about me#NONE OF THE YANDERE STUFF THO THATS ALL HIM!#i wanted to include more info but if i do ill just keep going and going and going and i dont think anyone is gonna read all that anyway </3#btw PopUp is a character that i made for a school project so yeah he's stealing him from me (and im ok w that. was supposed to happen lol)#i mean ive shown PopUp on the blog before just didn't tag it (bc i was just yapping and complaining about my project.)#this is my first time posting a full body (and like its the first one ive drawn in a while) pls be kind. im so scared to post this.#i worked really really hard on this so im excited to share this with you!#also this is my 1000th post. hell.#i still need to add him to the relationship chart n everything.#also i think ill do proper ref sheets for them bc. i cant just leave them as busts.#and ill rework rowan's too bc he deserves my love
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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Gave my pfp a bit of a glow up!!
Neat to see the one year improvement
#my art#i'm too impatient to wait for the exact day but this is pretty much exactly a year since my first post#i had just read nona the ninth and i had so many fanart ideas#i was also at my parent's house for the holiday staying in their freezing cold basement guest room#so i was down there drawing at like 3 am next to a space heater#anyways this year i'm back in the same exact situation so the vibes inspired me#unfortunately i didn't think ahead enough to bring ntn with me (i do have htn tho lol) otherwise i would absolutely reread it rn#like it's silly what it's come to represent for me but i love these nona drawings so much#the locked tomb#nona the ninth
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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proshippers: "anti's are so mean to us, it's causing us to have mental health issues, we're people with feelings too yk :("
damn that's so crazy, it's almost as if the things you say online can and often do have real world impacts and don't just exist in the vacuum of "fiction"
what a truly wild concept
#like babes if fiction didn't impact reality we wouldn't be having this conversation#cross tagging bc i can <3#🍖🌈#proship#proshipper#proship safe#proshippers are valid#proship community#anti anti#anti proship#anti proshitter#anti proshipper#fuck proshitters#proud anti#anti proship safe#proship dni#proshitters dni#antis plssss interact#tw proship#anti rq#tw proshitter#anti transid#non alterhuman post#and before anyone says#nuh uh it's different bc it's targeted :(#no it literally is not your subconscious brain deadass cannot tell the difference#all it knows is that it's reading fucked up shit and taking that information in#that's fr just a fact lol
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see you soon, laika
#danny phantom#vlad plasmius#vlad masters#danny phantom fanart#I was gonna put a whole disclaimer in the post abt how this piece has nothing to do with the russian vlad hc#and how I would prefer if people didn't interpret it as such#but it would ruin the aesthetic so for those who read the tags:#to me Vlad's mother was a Czech woman who ran from the soviets to america#I wrote Laika's name in cyrillic because it felt more meaningful to me with that context#I was also inspired by soviet post cards and propaganda posters for this reason#it does have meaning but doesn't necessarily mean the character depicted is russian#thank you#this isn't hate or anything I just don't want to be misinterpreted#love and peace always <3
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im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.
#eliot posts#the other day my roommate was talking abt how she hates shaving#but does it anyway bc she doesn't want people to be mean to her about her body hair#and i was like yeah i mean i used to#also worry about that bc my mother was always so fucking cruel to me when i didn't shave#but as an adult i find that it's extremely rare that anyone even mentions it (tho my body hair is pretty light so that could be a factor)#but even when people are shitty i find that i no longer give a shit about what what those idiots have to say about my body#but i understand that that can be a hard step to take so if you need to keep shaving for your own comfort then i won't judge#but on the inside i was just like#*ibuprofen hand meme* ''let's get called disgusting hairy d*kes together <3''#i had a great time showing off my pit hair at the pool today!#(i get read as a woman when im swimwear cuz i can't hide my body as much. so i get read as a hairy masculine woman.)#i show off my leg hair every time i wear shorts but like. my leg hair is Pathetic#i look practically prepubescent vis a vis my leg hair (my mother still calls it disgusting lmao)#but my pit hair is pretty good#i occupy a weird gendered place in society where i am more of a man in identify but society genders me as a woman#the only time i feel remotely okay being seen as a woman is when i am seen as a BAD woman. a woman who cannot/will not be A Proper Lady#it's not an entirely ACCURATE view of me but there's Something in it
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what's your dissertation about? you mentioned it in the siltcord and i'm really interested
oh my god hey I'm so happy you're interested! broad strokes because I've only been working on it for a few weeks but: the current theme is 'resistant landscapes' (both man-made and natural) in the later writing of Shirley Jackson!
Essentially, my main thread is that Jackson had two parallel strands to her work, which as far as I can tell began kind of interrelated but then diverged quite significantly? She's probably best known now for The Haunting of Hill House and to a lesser extent We Have Always Lived In The Castle, which are these. weird surreal psychological horror novels, engaging explicitly or implicitly with the supernatural, and centred around introspective, strange and sometimes deeply misanthropic female characters from isolated social units with dysfunctional, possessive relationships to each other.
Aaaaand then on the other hand she was known for being a 'happy housewife' who wrote these whimsical, quasi-autobiographical stories about all her children and how hopeless her husband was. These were popular too. Betty Friedan called her out in landmark 1963 feminist manifesto The Feminine Mystique for essentially spreading patriarchal propaganda.
The interrelation between the two is really jarring, because in one family is a source of horror and tragedy and in the other it's a source of, like... laundry. And Jackson's home life wasn't everything those stories made it out to be-- her marriage was unfaithful, her mother could probably be fairly called emotionally abusive, and as I talked about on the siltcord, she developed severe agoraphobia which often left her housebound.
So, yeah. My plan is to explore the depiction of families as constructed social units in dialogue with the environments they are constructed in in that work. Obviously a lot of that is relation of house to family, in the context of which Hill House is especially rewarding to consider, but I also want to look at relationships with nature and urban environments (especially in the context of settler colonialism and how that has had an enduring legacy in Jackson's particular part of New England), xenophobia (largely in regard to class, though racism and anti-Semitism are presences in her writing), domesticity and the idea of the housewife, and how horror relates to All Of This. The ideal of making a home within a hostile environment and of that environment turning on you, essentially.
I don't yet have particular areas of focus within that broad umbrella, but I might update with bits and pieces about it as I work? I don't really talk about academic stuff on here but I am very much Critical Literary Analysis Guy and I do also post relentlessly about haunted houses as a concept so if people would be interested in it maybe I will
anyway if you've read this far I recommend Horror in Architecture: The Reanimated Edition (2024) by Joshua Comaroff and Ong Ker-Shing which is a book about how horror movie tropes can be mirrored in built environments! I'm reading it right now and it's conceptually fascinating plus fairlyyy comprehensible by academic standards (if a little dense) if you, like me, are a Fool who knows nothing of architecture. very good also for getting to look at pictures of some of the most Fucked Up Buildings (affectionate) you've ever seen.
#thank youuuu for asking this!! <3#I didn't want to hijack siltcord bookclub to talk about my academic work#at least in part because I think it's fun to read thohh blind#but it's my blog & I'll infodump if I want to#also holy shit morgan I think you just tricked me into writing up a more thorough plan for my dissertation than I did for my supervisor#so thank you??? this has been bizarrely helpful#fun fact I very very nearly ditched this idea to write about family/amatonormativity/happiness in the silt verses as my actual dissertation#but decided not to because I like my supervisor and didn't want to switch#and also there is essentially no secondary literature for tsv.#well. there is some genuinely excellent secondary literature#but it is all written by the same twenty or thirty very unwell people on tumblr dot com#and that's not usable because I can't cite it and refuse to use it without citing it#I'll still write that tsv paper some day tho. just for funsies.#dissertation posting#shirley jackson#the haunting of hill house#✨️#voices from beyond
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Okay so something about the spiderbit wedding has been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile now and I don't know if anyone's talked about it but I just recently figured out the words to articulate it (kind of) so here we go!
Prior to the q!spiderbit wedding, a lot of the fanart/fanfics I saw/read depicted Cellbit waiting at the altar while Roier is walked down the aisle by either Foolish or Vegetta. Which makes sense! It keeps with the idea of the father "giving away" the bride (or in this case, the groom) at the wedding, which wouldn't be possible for Cellbit since he doesn't have any parental figures on the island. So, I was a little surprised when the wedding day came and Cellbit was the one to walk down the aisle while Roier waited at the altar. I was a bit disappointed at first---they missed a chance to do a sweet little spin on a wedding tradition! (Found family* my beloved <3)
But then I kept thinking---something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle to the altar where Roier, his soon-to-be husband and trusted confidant, stands; where Felps, his best friend whom he just got back from an unknown fate, stands; where Forever, the friend he wronged but never lost faith in and wants to do right by going forward, stands.
Something about Cellbit being alone and walking himself down the aisle towards them like he is making an active choice. After the fear and the isolation, pushing others away and hurting those close to him so he could make himself a martyr because he felt like he had to face the Federation alone and that he could only rely on himself---now choosing to walk towards the altar where they stand---walking towards his happy ending.
Because this is his happy ending. I'm not at all an advocate for the idea of "oh romance/marriage is the only thing that will make you happy in life" but not only is being married to Roier something Cellbit desperately wants, this wedding means so much more than just getting married.
Of course, this isn't really the end, but for someone like Cellbit, it's a start. A new beginning. A brand new chapter of love, friendship, and trust. So yes, Cellbit walks down the aisle at his wedding, and he does it alone, and he does it because he deserves it, and he does it because he wants to, and he does it because he has to, and he does it because he needs this.
*I would just like to note that found family does not have to follow a nuclear formula with parent-child roles and I don't wish to propagate this misconception. That's just how Roier's family is structured in canon. Foolish and Vegetta are boyfriends and Roier calls them (or at least Foolish) "dad" that's just how it is and it is beautiful <3
Also apologies if I get any lore wrong. I'm not a Roier or Cellbit main viewer but I learn a lot through what I do watch of their streams and what I absorb through my dash. Hopefully this still makes sense.
#qsmp#qsmp spiderbit wedding#spiderbit#guapoduo#qsmp cellbit#q!cellbit#spiderbit wedding#yeah i know that everyone's talking about the debates right now but ive been busy all week and im behind on vods#so here have a spiderbit wedding word-vomit post and ill talk about the debates later (maybe)#im reading this back to myself after posting and boy i sure do love italics huh lmao#edit: tiny amendment to this post (bc my brain wont shut up) but i should note that ofc jaiden is also part of roier's little family-#-but i didn't include her in the footnotes bc this post was already getting long and tbh the different kinds of families-#-on the island deserves its own post but i dont have any Big thoughts on the matter apart from it's vvvvv nice to see <3#dont mind me im just rambling
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Drabble Prompt: Post-canon Levi, struggling with chronic pain and mourning his dead loved ones, being visited by his still alive loved ones
Anon, you knew how to talk pretty to me <3
hihi requests are still open btw
I feel like I gotta put a disclaimer or something lmao. So, the length of my drabble requests is usually something between 100-400 words. This request is just an incredibly unexpected exception. it just happened to fit into this idea I already had been thinking of, which was how the remaining 104th would ask Levi to be part of important events in their lives because well, they like the dude lmao, so expect that sort of one-shot soon. Additionally, since I kept reminding myself that this was supposed to be a drabble, I might have glossed over the chronic pain and mourning bits so I'm sorry about that ;;
that being said, 2.4k words of Levi and Gabi be upon ye <3
Now on Ao3!
The angry hissing of the kettle makes him flinch. It brings a loud ringing to his right ear. Instinctively, he places his right hand over it, and gives his ear a couple of gentle taps; it's more of a grounding gesture, a distraction from the buzzing. He usually keeps watch over the kettle, so that he can lower the heat just right before it gets a chance to scream at him.
He realises then that he must have spaced out while waiting. It’s alright, he thinks. It’s been like that a lot, recently. He’s been like that. Lost in thought-- lost in time, if he allowed himself to be precise. The last days, weeks even, as the temperatures started to drop, blended into each other. There’s a little calendar on his bedside table, it had been a birthday gift from Armin – or had that been Mikasa’s? He isn’t sure, he had received an absurd number of presents from the kids last year, it had been hard to keep track of who gave him what and now the fact escaped him. Turning the pages of the little calendar, with its delicate botanical illustrations on each day, quickly became part of his morning routine, and so he was sure that time was passing at all. The stillness of the routine, he guesses, made him like this.
His vision blurs momentarily while he scoops the tea leaves into the teapot. He squints, trying to will his good eye to focus, but all he gets in return is a throb in his right eye. After putting the tea canister away, he presses the inner sides of his wrists to both eyes, placing just enough pressure to relieve the discomfort. When he opens his eyes again, he is pleased to find he can read the small print on the canister an arm’s length away.
There’s a loud slam coming from the front of the house, followed by footsteps coming further into the house.
He quickly recognizes the heavy stomping as Gabi’s gait. She’s always been so loud.
Gabi crosses the arch into the small kitchen and dining area.
“Don’t slam my doors,” he says as a greeting, slowly turning his head to his left side, trying to catch a glimpse of her in his periphery.
“Aye, aye,” the kid waves her hand, shoots him a teasing grin, “someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
Levi hums in response but doesn’t say anything else. He busies himself with placing everything they need for their morning tea and coffee on a metal tray on the counter, which Gabi takes from him as soon as it’s ready and sets it on the table.
He grabs his cane from where he had hooked it on one of the kitchen drawers. He has been leaning against the counter, his right leg supporting most of his weight all this time. He braces himself for the sharp pain that will surely surge from his bad knee, through his left hip and up his spine. Cold mornings like this one and being still in one place for long will do that to him. It’s not so bad. It could be worse.
It takes 4 steps to get from the stove to his chair, which Gabi has already pulled out for him. It sits at an angle that allows him to easily slide down on it and rest his right elbow on top of the table, leaning back and against his good side.
“I have something that will cheer you up,” she holds a couple of envelopes in her hand and waves them at him, “You’ve got mail!”
He nods at her in acknowledgement but does not take his attention away from preparing his first batch of tea of the day. There’s a ritual to it, it almost feels like, and he doesn’t want to mess it up. Not when the ringing in his ear is still there, the building pressure in the upper back part of his eyeballs, and the cold air seeping into his bones through his thick jumper. Oh, how he needs a good cup of tea right now.
While Levi waits for it to steep, he grabs the papers that she had shoved in his face, squints his eyes at the first envelope and finds that he is unable to make out much of the handwriting. He brings it closer to his face, squints harder, steals a quick glance across the table and hopes Gabi isn’t paying him any mind, too preoccupied with choosing from the bag of pastries she brought with her. It is with an impassive expression that he hands the stack of envelopes back.
“Read it for me.” A beat and then he adds, a little reluctant: “Please.”
He knows Gabi prefers coffee in the mornings, and black tea in the evenings, so he makes sure to have a fresh brew of the former whenever he knows she’s coming over; so, with shaky hands, Levi gets to prepare her cup of coffee. While he enjoys the aroma of it, he remains faithful to tea; at first, he thought he didn’t like it because he had butchered his first attempts at brewing it. But even after Onyankopon had taught him how to do it properly and he had enjoyed his cup, it didn’t bring the same comfort as tea. It just never hit the spot.
She shoots him a mischievous grin, “Oh, you sure? What if I read something personal, hm?”
Levi just shakes his head, scoffing at the idea of Gabi finding his junk mail fascinating.
“Is this how I find out you have a secret lover you’re exchanging raunchy love letters with?” Gabi teases, wiggling her eyebrows at him.
He lets out a tired sigh and rolls his eyes, “just wanna be done with it, ” he stirs the milk into Gabi’s coffee, which now has turned into a cup of milk with coffee. “We have a lot to prepare for tonight.”
She clicks her tongue at him, but still rips the first envelope open, “Mr. Levi, your reading won’t improve if you keep doing that,” she jokingly scolds him.
Although Levi mentally recognises handing her and Falco stuff he couldn’t be bothered reading before, that’s not the case this time. He’ll let her think that for now, though, because he doesn’t want to mention the pressure building in the back of his bad eye, it’s not important and she, a kid, doesn’t need to know his newly found ailment of the week. He can see just fine around him right now. He can see Gabi’s big eyes and playful smile at the other side of the table, and that’s good enough; smaller details, he doesn’t feel he can do them, not without making himself go dizzy with a migraine.
Levi slides the cup of coffee to her and is pleased with himself when she approves of the colour of her drink.
“It’s from Armin,” she announces as she scans the letter.
From this angle, the soft morning light illuminating her face and thanks to his faulty vision, Gabi’s image stirs his memory. His heart faintly constricts as he is reminded of the many times Hange read their research reports to him during breakfast in the mess hall before presenting them to Erwin. Levi always wondered how they could read so fast, sometimes he even doubted they were actually reading at all, their words barely being able to catch up with her eyes; he never asked about it, maybe reading came easy to them as numbers did to him.
A high-pitched squeal from Gabi startles him, bringing him back to the here and now.
“Oh… ohh, Mr. Levi,” she starts, her smile widening by the second “This is good news!”
Gabi makes a show of clearing her throat and then starts reading “Dear Captain, I hope this letter finds you well and in good health.”
Levi can’t help but let a sardonic huff at the irony of the greetings but doesn’t let himself be bothered by it. He has written only a handful of personal letters throughout his life, and by now he knows it’s just something you’re supposed to say because jumping straight to the point isn’t acceptable, or so that’s what he had been told.
Gabi continues reading Armin’s words to him. For the most part, it’s a standard letter coming from him: he asks Levi how he’s dealing with the changing of the seasons, how Gabi and Falco are faring, if business at the tea shop has been good, if there’s anything Levi needs that he can’t get in town so that Armin or the others can get it for him. He tells him a little about the country he’s writing from, he even includes a photograph. Then, after the expected pleasantries, Gabi can barely hold her excitement and starts reading faster, trying so hard not to trip over her words.
“If I’m being sincere, we would prefer to ask you in person,” Gabi stops for a second to look up at him from the paper, gauging for a reaction and finding nothing, she continues.
Armin apologises for not being able to visit him before the holidays, Annie included, and so it is implied that he won’t be attending tonight’s reunion.
Sometime during the last five years, the Alliance brats had decided to make showing up at Levi’s doorstep together once a year a sort of custom; the first time it happened was during an early winter, a blizzard had stopped them from leaving Levi’s until the next morning. It had been a really nice evening despite the awful weather, Levi remembers, after everyone pitched in one way or another, they all shared a simple but hearty meal together. It was Connie who jokingly said they should do it every year. The following year, Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco joined them.
This year would be their fourth, and the first someone wouldn’t make it. That fact sits heavily in Levi’s chest, stealing the spotlight from his throbbing eye.
“...Annie and I have decided to get married. The both of us would like you to officiate our ceremony!” unable to contain her excitement, she tears her eyes away from the paper and looks at Levi. “Huh?! This is good news! What’s with the constipated face?!”
That doesn’t sound right. It figures that Annie and Armin would be the first to marry; in a way, he is happy for them, they clearly care for each other. No, that part is easy to understand. Their union is logical to anyone who knows the couple. What Levi can’t figure out is why they are asking him such a thing.
He clears his throat, assumes it’s been 3 minutes and his tea is ready to be poured and so he distracts himself with that.
When he doesn’t answer Gabi, she picks up where she left off.
He isn’t… well, he isn’t that close to either of them. He’s sure Annie must have other relatives that could step in his stead. Maybe a brother, a cousin. Even Jean or Reiner would be better options than Levi. He isn’t good with words or people like they are, he couldn’t possibly give them a speech about something foreign to him as it is that kind of love, that’s what people expect, right? His title of Captain is obsolete in this new world, so it can’t be that either. Hell, he has never been to a fucking wedding.
Just… why him?
As expected, Armin doesn’t really go into the details of their choice but does let Levi know they do not expect a fast answer and that they do not want him to feel pressured to accept it, despite how much it would mean to them if he did. Armin asks if there’s anything in particular that he would like for his birthday, as it is a month away, and closes the letter by saying he looks forward to seeing him and everyone then.
When the letter is closed and put back into its envelope, silence falls around them. For a moment the only sound that can be heard is the clinking of tableware as Levi places the teacup back on its saucer.
It bothers him, that he knows he will be letting Armin down by refusing something that any other well-adapted person would consider an honour. But the thought of embarrassing him and himself, because he gave an awkward, most likely insensitive, speech, mortifies him. No, he can’t put them and their guests through that. He will find a way to make it up to the couple, maybe he can… he doesn’t know yet, but he will come up with something.
As he finishes his first cup, Levi realises that at some point while he was lost in thought, the ringing in his ear has subsided and now it’s back to that muffled, cotton-in-ear sensation he’s used to and he doesn’t feel his eyeball pulsating anymore. Glancing at Gabi, he notices she is trying really hard not to say something, her brow furrowed as she takes a sip of her own drink, followed by a big bite of her pastry. Flakes stick to the corner of her mouth and for once it doesn’t disgust him. Instead, it makes his lips twitch as if going into a smile.
“I can help you... if you want,” she says eventually, sounding uncharacteristically careful and small of her.
Levi quirks an eyebrow “Help? with what?”
She shrugs, “How to… tell them you don’t want to,” she avoids looking at him for the first time, finding the flakes on her plate more interesting. She shrugs again and tilts her head to the side, a thin line of a smile appearing on her face. “...or prepare for the ceremony.”
Not unlike many times before, Gabi’s words render him speechless, if only for a moment. He spares his tea a glance and he thinks: it’s bold of her to be so upfront about offering her help to him, and had it been any other morning, one where he couldn’t think past the constant ache in his body, he would’ve chewed her head off for simply trying to help him because he himself doesn’t know how to accept that kindness.
This kid is trying her best and he can’t help but feel somewhat proud of that.
“You have shit on your face. Here,” he points to where the flakes would sit on his own face and picks his refilled teacup back up.
Gabi quickly wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, getting most of the flakes off. Levi gives her a thumbs-up with his free hand.
“I’ll think about it,” he finally concedes and tries to ignore the little happy dance she does in her seat.
This time, when the amber liquid touches his lips, it’s remarkably sweeter than before.
#drabble request#aot#snk#levi#levi ackerman#gabi braun#gabi#post-war levi#armin mentioned lmao#please tell me which tags to add so that all my fellow post war levi enthusiast find this aaaaa#Girl dad levi you'll always be famous#second disclaimer english isn't my first language and I haven't written seriously in well over a year#I am like really nervous about posting this one ngl lads#but we persevere like the captain#no beta just me myself and I and like 2 hours of screaming I hate proof-reading but like I'm too self-conscious to just let it be#spoilers in the next tag >>#third disclaimer: iirc the whole captain officiating marriages isn't real but this is fiction and I do what I want#and I just think it would be cute if levi accepted even if for just a symbolic ceremony and not the real-deal yk?!#how to get rid of your chronic pain by levi; just overwhelm yourself by overthinking social scenarios#anywusssyyy let me know your thoughts#I'll probably post this on ao3 because it do be a decent length for it#we'll see#okay byeeeee#i hope you enjoy it anon and thank you for your patience I'm placing a big smooch on your forehead tysm fo sending such an exquisite prompt#I forgot to put the read more like the fool I am#if you saw the original post no u didn't <3
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