#didn't question if I should rather than if I could

[ragana62]

Hermione doesn't break rules openly, because she knows that having the aura of following rules means that when someone starts looking at the trio for who was responsible for all the laws broken, she will be written off on principle. She knows that being the responsible one gives her protection, and it gives all of them an escape route should things go badly.

I have always held it as a survival tactic. It's Hermione knowing that nobody even notices the quiet, polite, bookworm in the corner who just keeps her nose down and always turns in her work, with extra credit, perfectly complete a day early at least. The magical world is a dangerous place, she doesn't know anyone there at the start, and the people she does know have made clear to her on observation that even for those the magical world doesn't hate on sight, there's not much of a guarantee of help coming much less help that can do much of anything in the face of some of the opposition. She needs to fade into the background, because being in the spotlight is a target, and if she is going to take the spotlight, it needs to be for something positive like her academic work where she can still be written off as 'one of the good ones'.

And... it works. First year Hermione can walk up to multiple professors and say 'It's my fault, I read about trolls and thought I could stop it before it hurt anyone, they were just helping me' and every last one of them just nods and says 'yes, that seems perfectly plausible, good job boys, perhaps we don't do that again Hermione'. Second year Hermione already knows how to brew multiple NEWT level highly controlled potions and can steal the ingredients to make them, brew the potions in broad daylight, and turn up into the hospital wing when one goes wrong looking like a were-cat, and it raises no questions. The assumption is that she was just trying to work ahead and made a mistake, it absolutely wouldn't be that she stole ingredients to knock students unconscious and stick them into a closet so her friends could break into another house's common room while impersonating them. We see the pattern time and time again.

Hermione doesn't openly break rules, so her teachers, her peers even, don't look at her when a rule is broken, and more than that, if something goes wrong in the pursuit of breaking rules, she can bullshit her way out of it with little more than a 'oops, I was just really excited to try something new I learned and it went a little wrong, I'm sorry' and the problem goes away. And that's exactly why she feels confident she can get away with putting Rita in a jar, or stealing books from Dumbledore's office after sixth year, or any number of other things. Because she already has gotten away with things like that, and quite frankly, even if she does get caught, all she has to do is say 'I'm sorry, I was just really interested in some new reading material and didn't think he would mind since it was to help Harry...' and McGonagall will ignore it, or 'She broke the law, look, unregistered animagus! I was just trying to be responsible and help, especially with all the bad things happening around the tournament, you don't think she might have something to do with that, do you?' and everyone will just say 'ah yes, Hermione was just trying to enforce the rules and got a little overzealous, this is why we're going to make you a prefect. Maybe we need to put a little more thought into how we do that next time, okay? In the magical world, we tell an adult these things, instead of just jumping straight to trying to catch the perpetrator ourselves.'.

(I also think this is why Dumbledore is so confident in just saying 'two turns, you can save them both, have fun kids' and knowing she will know what he means. He has a rather similar understanding that appearances will always matter more than actions when it comes to consequences, even if I don't always agree as much with the actions he chooses to use appearances to cover over, and I think he recognizes that in her as well.)

i love how hermione has such a rule following aura that everyone ignores that she is the real rule breaker of the trio. harry sneaks out at night sometimes. hermione straight up kidnapped a whole woman and held her prisoner in an enchanted jar. even tom riddle didn't do that.

[thevoidscreams]

Could you write something about Vulkan? Preferably smut. I love this loving and massive super-human :3

Year 2 day 1

warning: smut and Vulkan being the GOAT (I love him so much)

Also the emperor being a good dad. Which is shocking. I know.

Word count:2966

'I heard that she's the wife of a primarch' 'she doesn't look like anything special to me' 'How long have they been married? and not a single child to be seen.. odd wouldn't you say?' 'Really it's an embarrassment that the emperor's own son would marry someone so.. common. There's nothing special about the girl at all.'

Your hand clenched around the stem of your glass as you tried to ignore the whispering around you. High Lords and nobles mingled or fought for the attention of your husband or brother's in law.

Vulkan was engaged in a very lively debate about something or another with his brother Ferrus, who seemed as though he would much rather be having the conversation anywhere but there.

Well that was certainly a mood, everything about this "party" blew, and not in a fun way. Why were they even having this party? Was it a celebration? A birthday maybe? Fuck if you knew, it just seemed like a prerequisite anytime more than two primarchs were back on Terra.

"You do not seem to be having a very good time." The speaker had come up behind you, which shocked you, you hadn't noticed anyone approaching. "Oh yeah, I'm not big on-" your voice faltered as you finished turning and saw the Emperor and two of his custodial retinue behind him. He was the height of an above average man at the moment and he was smiling down at you with a knowing sort of expression. "S-sorry, I um, I didn't mean any offense by that."

"It is alright, you are not required to be overjoyed by every gathering you attend. And I too admit that I would rather be elsewhere. But it is not a good look politically to decline every invitation."

"No, I suppose not." You smiled, and his demeanor shifted to a more fatherly one. It was hard to describe how exactly he did it, but suddenly the air between you both was far more at ease and comfortable.

"How have you been finding your marriage to my son?" You hadn't spoken in a few years, not since the wedding, so the question didn't surprise.

"Well, when he isn't actively campaigning or forging or teaching his sons, I must say I've never been happier. He is a wonderful man and I love him so much." You explained. The Emperor nodded and smiled. "I imagine you must be lonely when he is away." He supposed. "Sometimes, but his sons are good company and I always feel safe when they are around."

"Good, that is good." He seemed thoughtful. "Have you considered sons or daughters of your own?"

Luckily you hadn't had any drink in your mouth or you might have spit all over him as the suddenness of his question struck you.

"We've talked about it. I have no opposition to it, neither does he." You explained. "It's just that he's been rather busy and we haven't had much time recently." Your cheeks felt hot and it wasn't the drink causing it, that was for sure.

"I see. Perhaps he should take some time then, he has been doing well and I do believe he has earned it."

"Goodness, that would be nice, but I fear nothing short of you ordering it of him would take him from his work. He's so dedicated and there is so much expected of him."

Your father in law seemed to digest the words and nodded. "Well then, the hour is getting late and it is about time I start seeing my guests off. Would you like an escort to see you back to your room when you are done with socializing?" He motioned to the Custodes to his left and you fought back a gasp.

"Oh, no, thank you really, but I'm sure they have more important things to do than look after a grown woman."

His smile softened a shade and he placed a hand on your shoulder. "You are married to my son, that makes you my daughter now, that makes you a very important individual. It would not be out of line to assign one to you to see you safely across the palace."

Well, it seemed the decision had been made for you as he made a brief motion to the golden clad warrior and bid you farewell, leaving the custodian to watch over you. Though the armored giant didn't say anything as they took their post beside you.

Vulkan had concluded his conversation with his brother when he felt drawn to the other side of the room. Most of the guests had trickled out by now, very few were left, but he was delighted to see his father had remained. Motioning his son over, the primarch did as his father bid, going to his side. "Father, I am glad to have a moment with you. How have you been."

"Well, but there is a matter of importance that I wish to speak of with you."

~

The looming presence behind you was as intimidating as it was protective. Even if you knew the way back and knew that the palace was likely the safest place in the whole universe, the Emperor had ordained it and thus you had another very large guard keeping you safer than imaginable. They preceded you into the room, checked it and then allowed you in before standing guard outside the door.

'Stay on post with her until Vulkan returns.' Was the silent order they had received and so it would be.

The primarch of the Salamanders did not return for almost two hours. Well into the midnight hour. He greeted the custodian as he entered. Shutting the doors behind him and locking them.

Rousing from your sleep at the sound you were glad to see the man you loved so dearly. "Vulkan, my dragon, I missed you."

He chuckled as he disrobed and joined you in bed, kissing the top of your head. "I was gone but a few hours my flame." His strong arms pulled you atop his body and he peppered your face with kisses. "I know, but it was still too long."

His smile could have melted the ice of a frozen death world. It was so warm.

"My father pulled me aside after the party." He explained, which caught your interest.

"I see, is everything alright?"

"He has taken me from my duties to the crusade. There are other matters he wishes me to attend." His hands slide down over your hips.

"Really? That's so odd, I was just joking earlier that the only way you could be taken away from your duties in the crusade would be if he had ordered it."

Vulkan hummed, his hands gliding up to squeeze your ass. "Yes," he rumbled against your throat, "what do you think he took me off active duty for?"

His words sent a jolt down your spine and a bloom of heat between your thighs.

His lips worked over the tender flesh there, kissing and sucking as he grinds his hips up into you.

"Apparently I am to tend to my needy little flame, and I am not to return to duty until we have a little spark of our own." His voice deepened in the way it only ever did when he was giving an order or intensely aroused.

"And since I have you here and you're awake now," his hardened length pressed to your entrance as he continued to flex his hips. "I figure now is as good a time as any to get started."

"My love~" his fingers quested down to begin preparing your body for him. The warm press of his finger against your already wet hole made you shiver. He rubbed tight circles as he adjusted his cock just so his every movement would grind it against your clit.

"Fuck, Vulkan, I need more."

He smiled and continued his slow torture. "Why rush, we have all night?" He replied, his teeth worried little trails of his love into the flesh of your shoulder. You knew you'd have marks to show for it later.

"Please, Vulkan, please!" You begged as the pad of his finger pressed in slightly but pulled away again.

"Are you sure? After such a long day I figure you'd need some time to unwind before anymore rigorous activities. Why not let me take care?"

You whined in response as his thick drooling cock pressed just right and made your hips reflexively jerk. "Throne damn it Vulkan. Please, I need you. I've needed you all day and especially during that stupid party."

Vulkan shifted, he raised his hand to lift your chin so he could look at your face properly.

"What happened?" His tone was serious, his burning eyes searching your face for any signs of harm, but he only found upset.

"Just nobles being stupid." You sighed but the biting words that tore you down still rung in your mind despite how hard you tried to push them out.

"It's nothing, I just.. I'm being too sensitive about it."

He shook his head. "No, tell me, I will see that this is handled. What did they say to you."

"That's just it, they didn't say it to me. At least not to my face, they didn't all their tearing down behind my back, but I could still hear them."

Vulkan kissed your cheeks. "What did they say?" He asked again, more gently this time.

You knew you had to tell him now, and so you did, all the shallow and awful comments. You felt like a child again, tattling to the teacher when the other kids were bullying you. "Like I said. It's stupid, and I shouldn't have let their words get to me."

"None of their words are true." His hands squeezed your hips gently. "They're jealous, I married the most wonderful woman in the universe and they are unable to handle such a truth." He kissed the side of your face and neck affectionately.

"I wouldn't say the most wonderful, that's a bit much." You replied, holding in a giggle as he attacked a particularly ticklish spot.

"Are you calling me a liar?" He grumbled into your cheek. "No, just an over-exaggerator."

He growled and the sound went straight to your pussy as his hold turned more firm. "Why does my own flame doubt me so terribly?" "I just don't think I'm worth the praise." You breathed as he growled again. "Who do you trust more? Your husband? Or the jealous nobles who live and thrive off gossip and tearing others down to retain their station?"

"You, of course."

"Good, then trust that by morning you won't remember anything they said to you or about you at that unnecessary function." He promised, and his finger took its place from before circling your entrance, except this time he pressed it in.

You moaned softly as he gave you time to adjust. But only just as he began to move his finger, making you squeak and wiggle back into his hand.

It was almost absurd how easy it was for him to drive your mind blank. "Just relax my flame, I will take care of you."

Another finger brushed against your soaking heat and you knew he was going to push it in even before he did it. He needed to ensure you were thoroughly prepared before he could just take you. When he pressed it in there was no sting or burning as there had been when you first were growing accustomed to him, but you did feel full, fuller than any other source, save for his cock, could provide. He pressed his lips to the top of your head, his voice warm and deep as he praised you for taking his fingers so well.

He continued to press kisses to your hair and face as he pulled his fingers free causing you to whine at the loss. "I was so close." You grumbled as he raised his love slicked fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean with a deep groan. "Oh my flame, you grow sweeter each time I taste you." His massive hands hauled you up his body further as he settled you over his face. "I believe I will need another taste." He swallowed and a quick glance over your shoulder revealed his hard throbbing cock. The first lick was so inhumanly hot, but his body was always like that. He moaned as he went back for another swipe of his tongue. His hands slid down to hold your hips, pressing you down on his mouth further and you relaxed your weight onto him the way you knew he liked. He rewarded you with another long lick before he plunged his tongue into you. You had been so close from just his fingers and you found yourself teetering on the edge again as he fucked your pussy with his mouth, groaning in pure ecstasy as he drank down every bit of juice you provided. "Vulkan," you gasped, "I'm gonna cum love. I'm gonna..." Your body shook and your thighs clamped around his head as he growled in satisfaction, his burning eyes blazed up at you as he watched you fall apart. His growl morphed to a groan as you came on his tongue and he lapped up every drop.

Carefully he laid you down next to him, his body shifting over your as his cock strained between his legs. "My flame, I can not wait any longer." You reached for his face cupping his cheeks and pulling him down for a kiss. "Then don't, please my Dragon, I need you as well." He gave you a flash of the ice melting smile and kissed you deeply as he pressed his cock to your entrance. "My love, you are so much more than anyone could ever dream, and I intend to show you just how much you mean to me. Tonight, and tomorrow and the day after and so on until you know just how deeply I love you." His cock sank slowly into you, inch by inch as he professed his love, until your body had stretched to allow him to sink almost impossibly to the base. "You see. Perfect, just as I said." His hand sought yours, holding it gently as he raised your fingers to his mouth and pressed a kiss to each one as he pulled back his hips and thrust back in. He had to show you just how much he loved you even when making love. The bed groaned under you as he thrust again, the feeling of being so full of him was electric, each thrust making little stars dance behind your closed eyelids.

He kissed one of your knuckles, thrusting in hard, but not enough to harm. "Kind." He murmured softly, thrusting in and kissing the next. "Intelligent." He murmured again, moving to the next. "Funny." He repeated the process, for each knuckle he kissed he listed another thing he adored about you. "Loving, beautiful." When he reached the last knuckle he turned your hand over, kissing your palm. "Good with my sons." He gave you a sly smirk at that one, knowing that you always got flustered when they referred to you as 'mother'. Trailing kisses up your arm he continued his compliments until he got to your collarbone, where his lips sealed against your skin and he marked you, leaving a hickey that would be near impossible to miss without a necked shirt or sweater. He looked over the mark and once satisfied he smiled and began his kisses again. The whole while he had been going at an even and maddeningly unhurried pace. "Please, I need you to go faster, I'm getting close but I just need more." You whined, begging him with not only your words but your eyes. "Eager." He said as he left another kiss, this just next to your lips. Teasing you. "Please Vulkan, Please." He wouldn't admit it allowed in the moment, but hearing the way you cried his name as he was thrust into you as deep as he was drove him mad with lust. It had been a battle to keep his wits about him as he heard each little whine or moan. His lips finally brushed over yours, "Most of all," he groaned as his arms scooped under your body to hug you closer to him. "I adore you for being yourself, I could not have married a better woman." His lips pressed to yours and you met the gesture with equal enthusiasm. It was then the damn broke and he was barely able to keep from slamming into you and potentially hurting you, but his thrust picked up, his need to fuck you properly over coming him as he let his need take over in setting the pace. His mouth moved with yours now swallowing your moans and cries as he fucked you into the bed, his arms still holding you close as the bed creaked louder in protest. He felt himself get closer and you were there with him, pussy clenching as you fell apart, your arms tightening around his shoulders as well, as you used his body to keep yourself grounded. You both came, your body milking his cock as he did and his thrusts continuing to ensure you properly came undone beneath him.The primarch spent the next several minutes kissing you, his small wife, as you basked in the afterglow. He hadn't pulled out and he didn't intend to. After all, his father had told him that he was to stay off active duty until such time as you had conceived and given birth and he intended to use that time to the fullest.

[bellysoupset]

The Superbowl - Part III

Wendy was way in over her head.

The chill, enjoyable Superbowl sunday she had planned to have had gone downhill so quickly that she didn't quite know what to do with herself.

First and foremost there was the guilt. Doubled, as she felt guilty for omitting such a secret from Vince, but also guilty on his behalf. As if his faux pas had been done by her, or rather, was a direct result of her not telling him beforehand, even if Wendy stood her ground on the issue. Ugh.

Then there was the annoyance. At Vin for the "joke", for yelling at her in the car, as if she should prioritize him over her morals, and at Luke for how defensive he was acting, ready to kick them out. The annoyance was weak in comparison to how overwhelmingly guilty she felt, but it was there, simmering in the back of her mind.

Finally, there was the concern. About her boyfriend, who was so disastrously sick, about Bella and Luke, about Jonah whom she hadn't expected to also be sick, about Luke and Vin's clearly shaken friendship...

"Hey," Luke walked into the kitchen, where Wendy had been filling up two different glasses of water and had zoned out so badly that now it had spilled all over the sink.

"Shit!" Wen jumped, putting down the glasses and looking around for a dishcloth so she could dry the mess, "sorry, Luke, I wasn't paying attention-"

"It's alright," he shrugged, not one bit worried about the spill, "uhm-" he rubbed his face, looking and sounding exhausted, "Vince's in my room with Bell, he kinda crashed..." Lucas grimaced, crossing his arms to his chest, "I'm gonna go check on Jon, can I give him pepto if he's done throwing up too?"

"Yeah," Wendy nodded, then remembered why she was in the kitchen in the first place, "you guys don't have it, though."

"Ah," Luke sounded defeated, "I can go get-"

"Tree in the middle of the road."

"Oh yeah," he breathed out, pressing his lips into a thin line, "I guess we are all just gonna rawdog this, then."

Wendy let out a little hysterical giggle, pressing her back against the cabinets and taking him in. She hadn't really seen Luke since that day in the hospital and she fully expected him to be a mess. If Bella was a champion at compartmentalizing and ignoring her own feelings, Lucas was just emotions stacked on top of each other to form a 6'3 guy.

Nevertheless, despite how tired he seemed with the whole situation and how worried he was, he looked fine. Better than she expected.

"Are you alright?" She asked and he looked spooked at the question, eyes jumping from the medicine cabinet back to her face.

"Uh, yeah, just a little stomachache, I'm fine-" he answered, much to her surprise, because that wasn't what Wendy had meant at all.

"You're sick too?" Leo whined, walking into the kitchen and Wendy's shoulders dropped in relief. Since when did she feel this comforted by the blonde's mere presence?

"How's Jon?" Wendy and Luke asked at the same time and Leo grimaced.

"Kicked me out," he grimaced, making a thumbs down gesture, "diarrhea."

"Poor thing," Wendy said, while Luke only winced in sympathy, "can I go through your medicine kit?" she figured that while there was no pepto in the cabinet, maybe they had imodium or something in the kit.

"Sure," Luke turned around to grab it, then handed her a big brown bag, overflowing with pill bottles, "it's mostly headache medicine and birth control, though."

It really shouldn't be that big of a deal, but the second he said those words, Leo perked up as if he was a puppy who had just heard "food."

Lucas cringed at the sudden tension, arms crossed and all but curling on himself, "what?" he asked, almost against his will, while Leo bit down on his lip, curiosity consuming him. Wendy wasn't any better, she was definitely itching to get a first hand version of the facts, instead of the many miscommunications of their group for the past weeks, but she couldn't erase that haunted look in Luke's face at the hospital from her mind. He had been scared, like a little boy, so she was more than a little hesitant to ask for a retell of the facts.

"Did you know?" Leo's voice was gentle, although curious, incredibly honest, "or did Bell?...Were you two trying-"

"No," Luke interrupted, shaking his head quickly, "no. Neither of us knew and we don't want a baby now either. It was an a-" he frowned, as if the word accident offended him, "none of us knew."

Leo nodded, slowly, a frown between his brows, taking a step closer, "and you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Luke winced, palming his stomach and blowing out a little burp, ducking his chin to his chest, "Wen, we don't have anything? Not even TUMS?"

It was a clear deflection, but Wendy knew better than to press it and clearly so did Leo, as his shoulders collapsed and he pursed his lips in a frustrated, defeated manner.

"I'm not sure," Wendy said, dumping the contents of the bag on the counter and going through the medications. Like Luke had said, there were at least five different migraine meds, hardcore stuff too, several birth control blisters... "Leo," her head snapped up and the blonde jumped.

"Yeah?" he moved closer, itching to feel useful, stealing a glance at Luke from the corner of his eye as if their friend was a timebomb. If it was due to the fact he had been clearly poisoned too or not, Wen wasn't sure.

"Did you bring Jonah's medicine bag," she asked, hopeful, "he's got Zofran there as well as the benzos, right?"

"Right," Leo nodded eagerly, "yeah, it's in the car, I'll go get it- Can one of you check on Jon? Just make sure he didn't drown there?"

"I'll go," Wendy vowed, then gestured to the two glasses of water she had filled up, pointing at Luke, "can you try and get the two patients upstairs to drink? And not puke on them?"

Lucas snorted, opening a smile that was more of a wince than anything, "I'm not gonna be sick... Not yet, I don't think."

Wendy made a disbelieving face, but soon they all went different paths.

He climbed up the staircase once more, now with the glasses. Luke's whole body felt heavy and although he hadn't lied and he wasn't feeling close to puking, he did feel horribly nauseous.

He also didn't really want to be on Vin's duty, which was selfish and ugly of him, Lucas was aware of it.

Bella was sitting up as he walked inside the bedroom and promptly planted the glasses on top of one of the multiple boxes filled with clothes, so he could brace against his knees and force up a wet burp.

"Aw Luke," Bell whispered, her voice barely audible, "you too?"

He waved her off, wiping the drool from his lips and the clamminess from his face, "I brought you some water," he whispered, circling the bed. It was unnerving that Vin was able to sleep with them chatting, as he normally woke up with any and all minor noise.

Now he looked terrible and Lucas' heart squeezed with worry. Somehow he looked worse than Bell, who had been throwing up for longer and was way smaller.

His wife was sitting against the pillows, dwarfed in his deep green hoodie, her hair sticking out from inside the hood, fiery curls licking at her pale face. She was wearing a washed out, stained pair of leggings under, leg warmers pulled up, and still she shivered as the wind howled outside, the snow hitting their window.

"There's a blizzard going on," Luke mumbled, sitting down and passing her the glass of water, as well as planting Vin's on the bedside table. Bell made a face, but she did take a small sip, followed by a much bigger one as the thirst made itself known. Luke lowered her hand, moving the glass away from her lips and biting down a smile as she let out a pathetic whimper, "you'll make yourself sick, baby. Let's see if this stays down."

"Doubt it," Bella scoffed, setting down her glass and then crawling closer, hugging him as she climbed his lap, pressing her lips to his shoulder, "don't be mad," she whispered in his ear, squeezing her arms around him, "he didn't know."

Luke rolled his eyes, hugging her back, squeezing his eyes shut as Bell became an unpleasant pressure against his unsettled stomach. He muffled a burp against the excess of fabric hanging from her shoulder.

"I know," Luke turned his head, pressing a kiss to the pulled up hood, "I'm not mad."

That wasn't a lie, per se.

He had been furious the second the words came out of Vin's lips, but Bella was right and Luke couldn't deny it even if rage had blinded him. Vince didn't know. He couldn't have, no one did.

The problem wasn't the ill placed joke that Bella had already forgiven and Vin had apologized profusely for, it was deeper than that. He wasn't angry, he was... Disappointed. Enlightened. Sad.

His stomach rolled, churning up the dip and chips from before. He hadn't eaten as much as the rest of them, too busy pacing the living room and yelling at the screen, but whatever he had eaten was sitting like a brick, indigestion making him sweaty and burpy.

"Are you okay?" Lucas squeezed his hand around Bella's waist, pulling back so he could get a good look at her face. He knew they were in different pages, had known from the minute Bell had said the baby when they were in the hospital, the weeks that followed had only proved his point. Bella surely didn't plan for them to have a kid now, but she'd be happy if they did, and there lied the crux of their issue. Lucas had only felt relief once the concern about his wife's wellbeing was addressed. He was not ready to be a father and the two scares, the one she hadn't told him and the real miscarriage, had only made that abundantly clear.

Bella nodded, making a grossed out face and shuddering as her belly let out an audible whine, "I'm feeling awful," she said, bluntly, "but I'm alright..." She squeezed his arm, "you should talk with Vin. Before he throws himself off one of our balconies."

Luke rolled his eyes at her humorous tone, the knot deep in his chest loosening up just a smidge, "I will," he promised, turning to look at Vince, who was curled up as much as he could and had an arm wrapped around his stomach. He was white as spoiled milk and his curls were glued down to his face, despite the chilliness of the room.

"Is Wen downstairs?" Bella moved up, gingerly, using his shoulder as support, "Leo and Jon?"

"Jonah's sick too," Luke grabbed her hand, wordlessly asking her to stay, but Bell shook her head, squeezing his hand back, "Leo went to get Jon's antinausea meds. If you can keep them down, they might help..."

"Uhm, we'll see about that..." Bell took a deep breath, then pulled her hand from his grip, gesturing to Vin with her head, "talk."

Then she left the room, at a snail pace that was probably less dramatic than she intended. In the far distance, Luke heard Wendy's voice, lower at first, then louder as she walked up the stairs to help Bella down. Cooing.

The chatting faded, then there was the heavy silence of the room.

Vince didn't snore, sick or not, so Lucas didn't have anything to focus on but the deep ache inside his stomach. The nausea continued to prickle at him, in a steady pace, and he wasn't sure if the best option was to just ride it out or if he should pull the trigger and get whatever dip was inside of him out, before the food did that by its own volition.

He didn't have any energy to get up either, which was a weird side effect and Luke wasn't sure if he blamed that on the food poisoning or in the desolation he felt ever since leaving Vin's place, over a month before, when he had caught the flu.

His stomach churned once more and Lucas muffled a burp against his hand, this one much wetter, feeling the jeans that had been loose around lunch now cutting on his belly. A shiver went up his spine and he let out a groan, stumbling to the bathroom and pushing the door closed behind him.

He didn't even need to force it, as soon as he bent down in front of the toilet, his stomach let out a nasty growl and a sweet, rotten taste coated the back of his throat. Luke squeezed his eyes shut, planting a hand on the wall as he refused to kneel down on the cold tiles, and palmed his bloated belly, shaky fingers clumsy reaching for his jeans buttons-

A burp sent him forward and Luke gave up opening his jeans as hot vomit rushed up and splattered in the water. The taste was disgusting and once he started, it was hard to stop. His arm burned with the effort of holding most of his weight and Luke let out a groan, pressing his forehead to the inside of his arm as he tried to catch his breath.

The smell of sickness still assaulted him and he gagged, fruitlessly, spitting inside the toilet and forcefully clearing his throat. His stomach continued to ache, but the queasiness receded, giving space to a deep soreness, as if he had done a long sequence of abdominals.

Lucas flushed the toilet and braced against the sink, scoffing at his reflex. He was already pale to begin with, specially during winter, so he looked phantasmagoric. He washed his face, shuddering at the cold water and swishing it around in his mouth to get rid of the horrible taste.

He tried to take a gulp, but it sat heavily in his belly and Luke white knuckled the marble, breathing through the nausea once more. A burp snuck up, frothy and sickening and he spat inside the sink, washing his face and mouth once more.

When he opened the door, Vince nearly fell inside the bathroom.

Luke jumped back, a hand darting out instinctively to grab Vin by the shoulder and keep him from collapsing, "Whoa! Vin? Hey-"

"Are you okay?" Vince's voice was raspy, but loaded. Worried and guilty.

Luke cringed, he knew he wasn't a quiet puker, but he hadn't meant to wake his friend up.

"Better than you," he scoffed, grabbing the other man's shoulder and pushing at it so Vin would turn around, "how's your stomach, Vin? Leo got some medic-"

"I'm sorry," Vince ignored his rambling, sitting down on the edge of the bed and hunching forward, planting a hand on his face as if he was too embarrassed to even look at Lucas, "I'm sorry. I'm so- So sorry. I shouldn't- I shouldn't have said that, it was a ridiculous joke, I'm so sorry, Luke-"

"It's fine," Luke said quietly, leaning against the ancient wardrobe that faced his side of the bed, crossing his arms, "you couldn't have known."

"Doesn't justify it," Vince scoffed, glaring at him. His eyes had a glint that made Luke want to check for a fever, but he stayed put, "I'm so sorry, Luke."

"It's okay," Lucas grinded his teeth, "really, Vin, drop it-"

"No," Vince shook his head vehemently, "I should've been there for you and I wasn't. I wish I had been there-" although it was an apology, genuinely, there was a veiled accusation in his words. Why hadn't him been told anything?

Luke's stomach churned, now for an entirely different reason. He gulped down, "again, you couldn't have known," he said diplomatically, heart skipping a beat. Vince bit down his lip, looking like a kicked dog at his words.

"Can you- Can you talk with me?" He asked in a small voice, "you didn't say anything about any of this, Luke..." there it was, "what's going on with us?"

Lucas' eyes prickled and he looked away from Vince, out of his bedroom window and to the backyard. They had gotten the weeds removed and the grass trimmed, but now it was all white, until it met the dark trees in the back of the property.

"Luke?" Vince questioned and his voice wavered and fuck- Luke's couldn't speak past the knot in his throat.

"I don't- I don't-" he tried to say, but Vince glared at him, eyes sunken in his face and red rimmed.

"Don't you dare pretend everything's fine, its not," he scoffed, "can you please talk with me? Is it- Is it because of Max? Because I moved away? Why aren't you telling me anything, why didn't I know you were moving until you mentioned it in the group? Why did Leo learn about Bell being pregnant but you were in my place many times after and didn't say a thing? Fuck, Luke, if you had called me when the miscarriage happened I'd be here in a heartbeat-"

A hysterical giggle bubbled up in Luke's throat, eyes burning and hands all sweaty as he felt backed up against a wall, "you were out hiking with Max, remember? He broke his foot."

Vince looked stunned, then his cheeks turned red, angry, "so it is about Max? Lucas, how many fucking times do I need to say you're my best friend-"

"It's not," he felt exhausted, "really, Vin, it's not- It's nothing. I know you're upset you didn't know about the previous scare, but fuck, there was nothing to tell, man! Bell told Leo before she knew it wasn't real, I didn't even know then! And- And..." he was talking circles and he knew it, "and when the miscarriage happened, what did you want me to do? Call you when you're four hours away, to come hold my hand in the waiting room?!"

"YES!" Vince all but shouted, much louder than he intended and Luke jumped at the noise, before the heartbreak that had been simmering in the back of his mind for a month now roared forward with a fury.

"NO!" He yelled, just as loudly, shoving a finger on Vin's chest, "you want to be treated like a best friend? YEAH?" He shoved Vince's chest, furious now, "cool, so did I. In fact, I was a fucking good friend, Vin, I drove to your place, twice a fucking month, for over a year-" Luke took a step back, sharpness overtaking his words, "I prioritized you in everything and then-"

"Then I decided I could have more than one friend and you nearly went mad with jealousy?" Vince accused, angry, and Luke reeled, staring at him as the blood sang in his ears. He felt warm all over.

"I would never, not in a million years," he said, quietly and deadly, "end our friendship over something as small as a jab. An insult," he felt like crying, "I would be angry and I might- I might yell at you, but I wouldn't-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Vince breathed out, suddenly looking confused and Luke pressed his lips into a thin line, sniffling and nodding, because of course. He had been chewing on those words for a month and Vince didn't even remember them.

"You told me, and I quote, if I ever implied you'd ever cheat on anyone you loved, meaning it or not, you'd end our friendship in a heartbeat," he said, coldly, standing up straight now, "and I get that you were angry, but I could never say that to you. Hell, could you imagine? If I decided that what you said today was worthy of ending our friendship?"

"Luke, I wasn't- I was setting a boundary-" Vince sounded frustrated and scared, as if the gravity of his words was finally dawning on him, "I didn't mean it-"

"I could never say that to you, no matter the reason," Luke repeated, fully tearing up now, "so forgive me if you weren't the first person on my mind when my wife had a fucking miscarriage and I was terrified, Vince. I'm sorry if I thought that you'd rather sit in a room with broken foot Daniels after you did fuck all to prove me otherwise. I'm sorry if I'm having a hard time thinking of you as my best friend, when you spelled it out for me that you're not. I guess I'm a little heartbroken," the last couple words were dripping venom and Luke was panting as he spat them out, chest heaving, vision blurry with tears and hands shaking.

He blinked quickly, angrily brushing away the hot tears and looked away from the blurry spot that was Vince, trying to collect himself when he felt like openly crying, much like he had done when coming back from Vin's that day.

He should be feeling some sort of relief over having it all out in open now, spelled out for Vince, but it didn't. Hell, if anything, Vin's silence was only breaking his heart further, Luke desperately wanted an apology and to make up, even if it would take some effort to genuinely forgive his best friend-

Vince pitched forward with a gag and vomit dripped between his fingers, splashing on the runner rug and between his feet.

"Shit," Luke cursed, stepping closer and side stepping the mess so he could touch Vin's back, feeling a stab of guilt over dressing him down like that when he was so sick... Vince shook with a sob, wincing and flinching when Lucas planted a hand on his back.

"Don't-" He whimpered, hiccup-burping and another mouthful of bile and water splattered down, Vin apparently feeling too sick to bother caring about the mess.

The knot was back in his throat as Luke gulped around nothing, trying to ignore the pain irradiating in his chest and patted Vince's back regardless of his wishes, "it's okay," he said, his pats forcing up another burp and more vomit splashed down on the mess, "get it up."

Vince reached out, blindly, hand curling on Luke's shirt and squeezing it in a tight grip, "Luke-"

"Yeah, I know," Lucas sighed, squeezing his nape and pulling back Vin's curls away from his forehead, "I know, man, you didn't mean it, I know."

Too bad it really didn't make things any better.

TBC

[thepalladium1]

UPDATE REGARDING THE LEGENDSWAP STORY

okay so . hello folks, specifically those who have followed me specifically for the legendswap comics! big announcement that may be disappointing to hear, but;

i will be discontinuing the comics where luminous cream and the trio explore beast-yeast.

before you all freak out, i swear i have my reasonings, AND a better solution! my reasons are that i started legendswap as an au that i didn't put much thought into, and when i made the comics, it also sort of followed this process. my point being, legendswap doesn't have a fleshed out storyline, only bits and bobs of various ideas floating around in a less-than-coherent jumble. following this, i've been thinking harder about where the comic's leading, and this made me realize that there's bound to be plotholes that i can't rework without retconning the already released pages. (e.g, since silent salt replaces white lily, how would i integrate him into the story this early on? what is white lily and dark enchantress(aka crescent faerie)'s ties to one another? how are the other ancients doing? what was the reason for luminous cream deciding to bring along the Trio on his trip to beast-yeast, considering they are just kids? etc etc, i could go on cause ive been thinking and yeah, it's just too much for me to reintegrate into the story as of now)

anyways, my solution! i polled recently as to whether i should make a legendswap ask blog or if it was simply unnecessary, and you guys have voted for yes! so that's what i will be doing to flesh out this au; i'll be making a part ask blog, part comic series where you can either ask me or the cookies directly questions that will, in turn, progress the plot and let you find out directly about the world itself :) im already working on getting the ask blog ready, and i hope to be able to have it out by tomorrow at the latest. (currently im just working on a banner, and... something else, but the latter is not important)

so! what does this mean for the comics so far? this means that, for now, they are no longer canon and should not be interpreted as such. you can see it as a short look into what i've planned for the dynamic between the cookies shown so far, though, as their personalities are still going to be depicted that way! im sorry to disappoint you all, i really am, but since im no longer flying in blind and have an idea for what i want for the au, i do think that this ask blog would work much better than a chronological order comic. (plus, it means you can see and interact with your favorite cookies sooner rather than having to wait months on end just to see them :) ) (the prologue is still accurate to what i have planned, though, so that can still be interpreted as canon)

i understand how disappointing this sounds, but this is genuinely what i feel is best to expand on the au moving forward. thank you all very much for your support for the au so far, and i hope to continue to make more legendswap content for you all for a long while!

- thepalladium

[mendessi]

things i say when you sleep | chapter eleven

multi chapter bodhi durran x fem!oc

word count: 7k

chapter summary: The Battle of Resson.

content warning: canon typical violence & injuries, liam ):, mentions of death

AO3 masterlist

nine | ten | eleven | twelve | thirteen

Magic beyond the wards feels different. 

It's more freeing, but the lack of control concerns me slightly. 

The terms we left Basgiath on feel strange, even though we went on orders. The account of War Games doesn't change the fact that Xaden pulling us caused more tension with Dain. 

This was the first long flight Gleigeal and I had done, and my back aches when I dismount. We're stopped at a lake not too far from Athebyne so the dragons can drink. The view isn't too bad, and I take a moment to admire it. The quadrant grew quite boring after staring at the same walls for too long, so the change in scenery was nice.

"You okay?" Liam asks from my side as he dismounts Deigh. 

"Call if you need me." I say to Gleigeal as he steps towards the lake. He chuffs in response, and I turn to Liam.

"Just sore," I vocalize my sigh as I stretch my back and shoulders. My back isn't the only sore thing, but I'd rather not mention that I can still feel Bodhi between my legs. "You?"

"I'm good," He nods his head, "Happy that you're here." 

Things are so different now than they were a year ago. Everyone was trying to force my hand into following Xaden blindly, but Liam was the only one who gave me a choice. He was the only one who approached me in a way that worked. I have him to thank when it comes down to it. 

I give him a small smile, and we watch as Andarna unclips from the harness attached to Tairn's. Xaden is a fucking genius. 

"I'm gonna go check on her," Liam says as he approaches her once she lands on the ground. 

The energy feels slightly weird, but I try to keep my shields down just a crack. I want to feel what's going on around me, and I don't want surprises. Especially not during War Games. 

I lean against a tree and watch the rest of the headquarters squad situate. Xaden approaches Violet and laces his fingers with hers, and I can't help the subtle smile that finds its way to my face. 

Xaden hand-picked this squad for a reason, and nobody here would judge the way he feels for Violet. At least not out loud. 

"Who would've thought? Xaden and Violet," Bodhi says, appearing at my side. I didn't even hear him approach; I'd been so lost in thought. 

"Who would have thought?" I verbally agree. I did think. I thought many months ago, actually. 

"How are you?" He asks, leaning against the other side of the tree. 

"I'm good. Nervous, but good." 

The common knowledge that when we return to Basgiath, there's a chance that other cadets won't doesn't sit right with me. I trust that the squad I've been placed in for this exercise will return home just fine, but I can't say the same for the others. Anything could happen, and as much as I'm not worried for those I'm currently with, the idea of anything happening to Rhi, Sawyer, or Ridoc frightens me. Especially Ridoc. Who would I share a bed with when I'm upset? 

"Everything is gonna be fine. Xaden is gonna have us leave for patrol at some point tomorrow, and you can see how the drops work," He says. 

"You don't think Violet will question why I get to go and she has to stay?" I ask. 

"Liam will stay with her to keep her distracted, and you can explain to him when you two have time alone," he tells me. "You should rest. Sit with me for a minute."

He sits down with his back to the tree and his feet apart. He pats the grass between his legs, and I shake my head with a laugh as I sit. I lean my back against his chest, and he wraps his arms around my shoulders. The position is quite comfortable, and I sigh in content as I watch the dragons drink from the lake. 

"You look good in flight leathers," He says, his thumb stroking my arm lightly.

"Shut up," I hit his thigh playfully and tilt my head to look at him. 

"I'm happy you're here, Ani," He says. "I would've been worried if I couldn't have my eyes on you for five days."

"I can handle myself," I say as he raises his hand to brush my cheek. 

"Hey," He says gently, "I know you can." 

I want to kiss him, but the inner monologue I had with myself during the long hours of flying stops me. I know I let him kiss me before we launched to leave Basgiath, but I don't want any more intimacy with him til we draw the lines around whatever this relationship is. I shouldn't even be allowing myself to sit like this with him. 

"I would've just missed you," I tell him. 

"We'll have some time when we get back before Conscription Day to do just about whatever we want," He says. 

"I want to talk first," I reply, and he nods.

"I know." His thumb brushes my bottom lip. "Me too."

Our time is limited under this tree, and the conversation we need to have is going to have to wait. Maybe tonight, after we establish headquarters and retrieve our next missive, we'll have time. 

"We have company," Gleigeal says, and Bodhi must receive the same news from Cuir because we're both to our feet within a heartbeat.

"Fuck. Violet doesn't know." Bodhi takes off running, and I follow behind him. I have practically sprint to keep up with his large strides.

"Gryphons?" I ask, pushing to keep up. 

"Yes, but I'm told they're allies." He replies. A breath of relief fills my lungs.

When we approach, I feel the power radiating off of Violet, and I do my best to dim it.

Gryphons stand in front of them, and my lips part at the sight. I'd only ever seen them in drawings, but I'm amazed at how magnificent they are in person. 

Violet is thrashing in Liam's arms, and Tairn's piercing roar makes my ears ring. Liam releases her, and I join her at her side. I can feel her betrayal seeping into my chest, and I consider raising my shields fully shut. It's a bitter feeling, and I don't like the way it hurts. I feel for her; I do. I know exactly how it feels to be kept in the dark. 

She looks to me, scanning me for any sort of surprise or the same sentiment of betrayal, and she shakes her head when she realizes I don't. 

"You knew?" She asks me, her voice slightly wavering. 

"To an extent, yes. But there is so much you don't understand." I reply. I recall the time that Bodhi had said the same words to me when I arrived in the quadrant. 

"You almost had me fooled," She scoffs and turns her attention back to the conversation happening between Xaden and the fliers. Her words sting, but I know that I would feel the same way. I don't hold her at fault for it. 

"Venin never come this far west," Is the next line of the conversation I catch.

All I'd been told was that we'd supply venin-killing weapons as a form of aid. I had put two and two together that it was to fliers, but seeing it happen in action was insanely surreal. My entire life, I'd been kept on the outside, and finally, not being the only person in the room who was clueless felt freeing. 

"Until now. They were unmistakably venin and had one of their-" One of the female fliers start. Xaden is quick to cut her off. 

"Don't say anything else. You know that none of us can know the details, or we put everything at risk. All it takes is one of us being interrogated." I focus on Xaden's feelings and am shocked when I sense a bit of fear. He turns back to look at me for only a moment, and I know I've been caught trying to read him.

"Details or not, it looks like the horde is heading north. Straight toward our trading post on the border across from your garrison at Athebyne. Are you armed?" The male flier asks.

I reach for Bodhi's hand just to have something to hold. This was never something I anticipated when I agreed to help with the drops next year.

"We're armed," Xaden confirms.

"Then our job here is done. You've been warned. Now we have to go defend our people. As it is, this side trip only gives us about an hour to reach them in time." The flier says. I look at the entire drift of fliers, trying to remember faces. Something tells me that this isn't the last time I'll be seeing them. 

My heart sinks. Ever since Bodhi told me that venin were real, it never really struck me as true. Of course, I believed him, but it was just so insanely baffling that the stories we'd been told as children were accurate accounts of history. Standing here in front of a drift of fliers, people that are supposed to be our enemy, who are about to head into battle against them, is hindering.

Bodhi laces our fingers together and squeezes my hand comfortingly, and I glance at his side profile. Still so beautiful.  

"I wonder what your King would be willing to pay in order to get back the daughter of his most illustrious general. I'm willing to bet your ransom would be enough to defend all of Draithus for a decade." The male says, tilting his head to look at Violet. 

Bodhi drops my hand, and we instantly move closer to her, and I'm prepared to fight if need be. Violet's power sizzles in my chest as Tairn snarls behind us. 

"Try. I dare you." Light flashes above us, and the corner of my mouth twitches upward. She has it handled. It's ridiculous how powerful she is. 

Xaden's shadow-wielding never fails to impress me every time I have the pleasure of witnessing it. Watching him defend Violet is extremely satisfying, and I don't hide my amusement at how the fliers back off after it. 

After the drift is gone, all of us turn to Violet. I feel bad for her, knowing exactly how she feels, but I don't know how to comfort her. There's nothing I could say that would make this situation better. I know that this is a conversation she has to have with Xaden. 

Her feelings are so overwhelming so I try to reach out and do what I can to ease them, but she's too damned strong and I haven't even begun to hone my signet. I'm not even sure if adjusting the intensity of someone else's emotions is something I can do, but I've been dying to test the theory. What better moment than now?

When she raises her voice at Liam, I let go of the strand of color that I know is her's. I'm either making it worse or not helping at all. 

I turn and reach for Bodhi, grateful when he wraps his arm around my shoulders. I don't like the conflict happening in front of me, especially when I've convinced myself I'm the reason it's escalating. 

"And you." Violet turns to me, and I grip Bodhi's jacket between my fingers. "You spent all this time pretending to hate them when you've been working with them all along." 

"That's not true." Anger bubbles beneath my skin. She's upset, and I can't blame her for anything she's saying. Xaden will clear the air, hopefully. If anyone can get through to her, it's him. 

"Everybody go back to the shore. Now." Xaden says, and we oblige. They need the space, and Xaden needs to get through to her. 

"She will come around. Just as you did," Gleigeal says, and I hope he's right. 

We sit in the sand, and Bodhi absentmindedly plays with my fingers as I watch the water lap against the shoreline. 

"When we get back to Basgiath, we'll go into further detail about drop shipments before Xaden leaves," Bodhi says, and I hum in response, not really paying attention to him. "What's wrong?" 

"I know how she feels," I say quietly, turning to face him. "I feel bad for her, that's all. And knowing that those fliers are about to go head to head with a 'horde' and we can't do anything about it is... horrifying. I want to help."

Bodhi takes in my words and processes them slowly.

And fucking War Games. There's still that, too.

"She'll come around," Bodhi says, and I shake my head. 

"She's not me, Bodhi," I tell him. "She has lived her entire life believing in one thing and was raised differently than we were. I forgave you quicker than I should've. Don't count on the same from her."

Violet isn't wired that way. She's like me in the sense that it takes a lot for her to trust, but this isn't something she'll move past as quickly as I did. It was easier for me because I grew up with Bodhi, Garrick, and Xaden. I have a relic. She doesn't. Gaining her trust again will take time. 

I unsheathe the alloy-hilted dagger that Xaden and Bodhi put into my possession not too long after I found out about the venin and draw in the sand with it. 

"It's not easy lying to those you care about," He says, "Especially something to this scale." 

"I know." I keep my gaze on the tip of the blade dragging through the sand. 

"Listen, Ani," He gently takes the blade from my hand and tilts my chin to look at him, "I don't know what's going to happen over the next couple of days, but if I don't say this now, I'll regret it."

"I can't." I shake my head, pulling away from him to stand up, "I can't do the goodbye stuff. I'm sorry." 

"Ani, please," He stands up too, reaching for my hand, "Let me just-"

"Mount up." Xaden's order grabs our attention, and I'm slightly thankful, though the look in Bodhi's eyes pains me. 

"We'll talk when we're back in Basgiath," I tell him. 

Ever since my family died, goodbyes have never been my forte. I didn't get to say a single word to any of my family members before I never saw them again, and this isn't something I can handle. Whatever Bodhi was going to tell me will have to wait. 

"I hope that you putting off that conversation won't come back to bite you," Gleigeal says as I mount. 

"I am not capable of having that conversation right now." I reply. 

When we arrive in Athebyne, the energy is extremely off. When I join Bodhi, he glances at me sideways, and I look around at the empty outpost. 

"There's no one here. Divide and search." He looks between Bodhi and me. "You don't take eyes off of her, you hear me?"

Bodhi nods curtly, and he, Garrick, Imogen, and I split away from him and Violet. The rest of our squad splits into small groups as well to search the seemingly abandoned outpost. 

"So are you two..." Garrick gestures between Bodhi and me.

"I knew it," Imogen snickers. 

My cheeks heat up, and I put distance between me and Bodhi. "Let's focus on the task at hand." 

"I'm just saying, if you are, you know that we support you." Garrick continues. He's trying to get a rise out of Bodhi, and the way his strand of emotions in the Riorson library burns brighter tells me it's working. 

"Shut up." Bodhi glares at Garrick, and he and Imogen break into laughter. 

We enter the southeast tower, and Garrick is quick to find a missive addressed to Xaden. So, to counter Xaden's assumption, this does have something to do with War Games. Thank Zihnal. 

We cross the rampart, and while Bodhi and Imogen engage in a minor argument about something I can't hear, Garrick falls in line with my step. 

"You spent a lot of time avoiding me this year, Ania." He tells me. 

"I spent a lot of time avoiding a lot of people this year, Garrick." I look up at him as we walk. 

"Yeah, but," he shrugs, "You started talking to Xaden and Bodhi again and never came back to me. We grew up together, too, you know." 

He's not wrong, and I do want to clear the air with him, but right now is not the time. Not when he's about to hand off our assignment to Xaden. 

"I promise I'm not deflecting because I genuinely do want to have this conversation, but can we please wait til we get back to Basgiath?" I ask. 

He smiles, "You were so quick to anger earlier this year. Look at you, having an actual conversation." 

"Shut up," I laugh lightly and nudge his arm with my shoulder. 

"I'm gonna hold you to it, little Alistair. We're having that conversation the second we land back in Basgiath." He says as we approach Xaden, Violet, and Liam. Garrick hands over the missive to Xaden and he pops the seal. 

"That's from Colonel Aetos," Violet says. 

"What's it say? What's our assignment?" Garrick asks. 

"Guys, I see something past the trading post. Oh shit." Liam says. 

The way the energy shifts is enough to make my head spin. I have got to get this empathy thing under control. 

"So I've been trying to tell you," Gleigeal says, and I mock him down our bond. 

"It says our mission is to survive if we can," Xaden says, and the way he pales makes my skin crawl. 

Bodhi immediately reaches for my hand, and I don't dare to pull it away. 

"Guys, this is bad!" Liam yells, and Imogen is at his side within a second. 

Every single person from our squad is appearing at Liam's alert, and Xaden looks to Violet. 

"This isn't your fault." He says to her before looking between the rest of us, "We've been sent here to die."

Xaden's emotions are the only ones I focus on while everyone else rushes to the battlements to see what Liam sees. He's... scared.  His gaze meets mine, and he shakes his head. Somehow, he can sense when I read him, but I don't even think he's upset at me for it. 

"I should've never brought you here," He says to me. "Fuck."

It takes everything in me to focus on what's happening. The conversations in front of me happen so quickly that I almost don't catch what's being said. I'm too busy trying to close the book where the emotions of those around me are starting to grow wildly. I cannot have a repeat of what happened on the field with Gleigeal. 

"The letter says this is a test of your command. You have the choice of abandoning the village of our enemy or abandoning command of your wing." The section leader says. 

"What the hell does that mean?" Bodhi snatches the letter from his hand. 

"They're testing our loyalty without saying it," Xaden says. "According to the missive, if we leave now, we’ll make it to the new location of headquarters for Fourth Wing at Eltuval in time to carry out our orders for War Games, but if we leave, the trading post of Resson and its occupants will be destroyed." 

Violet reeks of guilt, and I wish I knew why. There's no way she could know something like this would happen. 

"By what?" Imogen asks.

"Venin." Liam's words don't shock me, but they should. 

"I liked it better when we just delivered the weapons," Bodhi says under his breath. 

"We are joined by seven gryphons," Gleigeal says. 

I look to Bodhi, who likely just got the same message from Cuir. 

"How many people live in Resson?" He asks.

"More than three hundred," Imogen replies. 

"Then let's get down there."

The way he reacts, ready to defend innocent people, sets off an absurd feeling in my chest. The way he stares down his cousin who blocks him from running into the unknown is the reason I-

The thought doesn't finish forming because Xaden is on a justifiable tangent about the risks of marching into Resson. Once a gryphon flier approaches us and tells us to flee, my mind is made up. 

I want to stay, and I want to help. Innocent people will die if we don't leave. I don't care about the risks. What good are we with dragons if we don't at least try to help? 

This could've been prevented if the leadership in Navarre hadn't deemed it necessary to hide this knowledge from the public. They're all in the dark, just like I was. 

"I’m not going to order any of you to join me. I’m responsible for all of you. None of you crossed that parapet because you wanted to. None of you. You crossed it because I made a deal. I’m the one who forced you into the quadrant, so I won’t think less of anyone who wants to fly for Eltuval instead. Make your choice.” Xaden says.

"I know if Beckett were alive, he would be here by our side. And he absolutely would not walk away from this fight." I say, looking to Xaden. I could very well be on the death roll come tomorrow, but I know what the right thing to do is.

"I was worried you'd say that," Xaden says, but there's a tiny hint of a sad smile. 

"I chose well," Gleigeal tells me. 

Every single one of us agrees that we're fighting. Whether we make it home or not, at least we die doing what we as riders swore to do. 

Liam tells us what he can see from where we are, and I take a deep breath as I look at Bodhi. He's already looking at me. 

Xaden gives us directives one by one. I'm to assist Bodhi and Garrick in evacuating the town. We're approaching our dragons when Xaden's hand wraps around my wrist. 

"If you're telling me to stay out of this fight, I'm not going to listen to you," I tell him, pulling my wrist from his grip. 

"I was going to tell you that I am proud of the person you've become," He says. 

I remember after Threshing when he told me that Beckett would be proud of me. Xaden's pride in me means just as much, I realize. Beckett was a great brother in every aspect. But he wasn't my only brother. 

"I'll see you on the other side of this," I tell him. 

"Stay alive, Ania. Not just for Beckett, but for me too." Xaden doesn't give me the chance to reply. He turns on his heel and walks toward Violet. 

"It is a shame that I never got to meet him," Gleigeal says as I approach his foreleg. I smile softly, thinking of the time when Gleigeal "didn't think he would mind his presence". 

"Let's not dwell on what could have been," I reply. 

I'm about to mount when Bodhi appears at my side. I open my mouth to speak, but he grabs my waist, pulling me into a devastating kiss. 

My hands immediately find his face as he pulls me as close to him as humanly possible. It's passionate and deep and just what I need to prepare me for what we're walking into. 

When he pulls away, his gaze locks on mine. 

I look for the strand of emotions I know are his, but they don't sprout from the book in the Riorson House library. The spiral down from the mage lights hovered above, entangling themselves with the deep green tendrils of my own. He is more than a part of me at this point, and the feeling pounds in my chest. I know we share it as one. 

"Ani-" He starts, with his forehead resting against mine.

"I know," I whisper. "Tell me after."

He kisses me one more time and then walks away to mount Cuir. 

Everyone's attention is directed to the dragon that flies overhead, spiting blue fire. I immediately recognize it from the drawings in the books we read as kids. 

"Is that a wyvern?" I ask Gleigeal.

"Unfortunately," He replies. 

"Anyone want to change their minds?" Xaden asks and is met with silence. "No? Then, mount up."

Perfect. Is there any part of Fables of the Barren that is actually fictional? 

Bodhi and I share one more glance before the entire squad is mounted on their dragons, heading into battle.

"Be prepared to relaunch at a moment's notice," Gleigeal tells me when my feet hit the ground. 

The town center is a mess. People are running in a million different directions; children are screaming and crying. I don't give myself a moment to panic; I simply jump straight into action, guiding people in the direction safest to get out of Resson. 

A venin stands on top of the tower, blue flames spewing from his hands into the town below him. 

Tairn and Violet fly by, and the entire clock tower goes up in flames before collapsing in on itself. 

"Soleil found a mine entrance. Start directing civilians toward it," Gleigeal shouts down the bond, and I nod my head. I see Bodhi and Garrick further up and assume it must be that way, so I start sending them that way. 

The last couple of civilians from my end of town are now closer to Bodhi, so I take one last look around to ensure there are no stragglers. 

"Mount, now!" Gleigeal's roar sounds, and I don't question it; I just sprint. 

I execute the quickest mount I've ever done and look below as he launches with me halfway up his back. I nearly lose my footing but manage to catch myself on his spikes. The venin that stood on top of the clock tower emerges from the flames, and my breath is stolen from my lungs. Dragon fire is no use. The gryphon flier explaining that four of them is a death sentence makes so much sense now. 

Fuck, what did we get ourselves into?

Gleigeal lands next to Liam, and I dismount, landing directly next to him. 

"You okay?" He asks me, and I nod. 

"Dragon fire doesn't work," I tell him.

I flinch as lightning strikes a section of the city wall, silently begging Violet to get her aim under control. 

"I got the mine entrance open!" Soleil calls. 

Liam and I take no time in starting to usher the townspeople into it. I don't have eyes on Garrick and Bodhi anymore. Bodhi was told not to take his eyes off of me, so I can imagine the fear he's feeling.

"Can you relay to Cuir-"

"Already did," He replies. "Enemy approaching."

I turn around, my jaw dropping as I watch the venin channel from the ground.  The ground around it essentially dies, turning an ugly gray color. 

Soleil is already charging at it, and I move to run after her. My feet skid when I halt, and I almost lose my balance. Not even two steps into the dead zone, she collapses and so does her Brown Clubtail. I hear Violet's scream, but my eyes don't leave the venin. 

Its eyes lock on mine, and I know I'm next. The gray patch begins to expand outward. I won't make it back to Gleigeal at the speed it moves out, no matter how quickly I run. 

I hold my hands up, focusing on the lanterns that line the path. I pull open the curtains in the library and pull every light source I can see into my palms before forcing my energy into them. The flare that rips off my palms is so bright that I have the instinct to look away, but I don't because I know it does not affect me. It's the same way I can look at the sun and not be bothered by it.

The venin lifts its hands to its eyes and stumbles backward. I take the small opportunity to sprint, but I refuse to look back. 

"Faster!" Gleigeal's shout rattles my brain.

Again, I'm barely up his spine when he launches. The deadzone is only feet away from us, and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

"That was far too close." Gleigeal's tone is angry. 

"Liam and Deigh, are they safe?" I ask. 

"They launched in time," He replies, and I nod as I retake my seat. 

Gleigeal and I engage in combat with a group of wyvern, and I've never struggled so hard to keep my seat in my life. The banks and rolls that Glegeal does has my ass lifting out of my seat each time, but it pays off because we manage to take out every single one. So long as we can keep them away from the town, then at least we've done some good. 

"Tairn and Deigh require assistance," Gleigeal tells me, and I look around for them. 

My stomach sinks when I see Violet struggling to hold Liam on top of Tairn. Deigh is fighting the disgusting beast for his and his rider's life.

"I cannot interfere without risking your life," He says as we fly under head. 

"I don't care. Do what you have to!" I shout. I couldn't care less what happens to me so long as my friends live.

My Red Swordtail obliges my request, and I pull the leftover light energy from my hands, ready to wield at a moment's notice. I hold tightly onto his spikes as he interjects himself into the battle where he can to help Deigh. It's still too risky without taking out both the wyvern and Deigh. 

"On the right!" I scream. A riderless wyvern appears, and Gleigeal is forced to let go of the wyvern holding onto Deigh. Luckily, Tairn was there within a second, snapping his teeth into its shoulder. 

Gleigeal turns quick enough to snap his teeth into the wyvern's wing, shaking his head so furiously its wing comes clean off. The wyvern can't level out and has no choice but to accept fate and fall to its death. 

The roar that Gleigeal releases is so loud that it makes my head split. He dives towards the ground and lands roughly, nearly making me fly off of him. I dismount at record speed and rush to where Violet is holding Liam in her lap.

"No," I whisper. "What happened?"

"Deigh is gone."

"Help me get him to Deigh." Violet cries, and I do my best to help lift him. 

"Gleigeal was on the wyvern. I don't understand how this happened." We're stumbling under Liam's dead weight. 

Xaden and Sgayel land a moment later, and Xadeb immediately takes his weight off of us. I follow him as he carries Liam toward Deigh. Liam's speech is weak as he's lying down with his dragon. 

Perfectly healthy Liam is seconds away from his last breath, and there's nothing that can be done. If I can just give him this one thing and lead him into a painless sleep, then I'll do it no matter what the cost is. 

Pain is an emotion just as much as it is a feeling, and Liam is full of it. If I can just... I don't listen to a word he and Xaden are saying, I simply reach my hands for his face. The pain that radiates from his skin at my touch makes me cry out. It isn't just his pain, it's Deigh's too. 

"What are you doing?" Xaden asks. 

"Release him, now," Gleigeal demands, but I ignore him. "Ania, let go!"

"I'm taking his pain," I whimper. I force my hands to stay steady against his cheeks as I absorb every last ounce of it.

Liam deserves to die pain-free. He shouldn't be dying at all. It fucking hurts. 

When I no longer feel anything, I let go and stumble back toward Violet to let Xaden have his moment with his foster brother. 

My knees hit the rocks, and even though she reaches out to make sure I'm okay, her eyes stay locked on Liam and Xaden. 

"What did you do?" She asks. 

I can't answer. I'm trying to control what's happening in the Riorson House library that I built into my head. 

Nothing makes sense. 

Liam is dead.

The first person with a relic that I trusted. The person who gave me so much of his time when I pushed back so hard. He made me care about him, made me let him in. Now, he was gone. 

"Please tell me Bodhi is okay," I beg Gleigeal. 

He's silent for a moment but then chuffs, "They are alive."

Grief barrels at me at breakneck speed, and a scream tears through my throat. It is mixed with Liam's pain and all of our sorrow at the loss of him. 

"You can't do this right now," Violet demands as she cups my cheeks. "You have to finish this battle. Get it under control."

Control it. Don't let it control you.

I take deep breaths that shake my entire chest. 

Focus on one thing.

The theory. To try and dim Violet's anger. It might've backfired earlier, but it worked on Liam. I could feel the pain slowly leave his body and enter mine until there was nothing left to take. 

"Now, Ania!" Violet screams, and I'm brought back to my senses. 

I sit up on my knees, ignoring the way that the ache lingers in my entire body. 

"Tairn needs us to keep the wyvern off of him and Sgayel," Gleigeal tells me. 

When I stand, the world tilts, but I shake my head and move as quickly as I can toward my dragon.

"Then we keep the wyvern off of him and Sgayel," I say out loud as I climb up his foreleg. 

We do just that. Or we try to. 

Everything happens so quickly. One minute, we're in the sky, and the next, Gleigeal screams at me to dismount. 

He barely had time to tell me it was because he wouldn't be able to control his landing with the way a wyvern was on our tail. My running dismount was not the best, and I land in a roll that leaves my entire body in a type of pain I've never felt before. 

When I stand, my left leg nearly gives out, the pain earth-shattering. I think my hip is fractured from the landing. 

"I'm coming back, get ready," Gleigeal says, and a few moments later, he growls. "There are too many on me, I will not lead them back to you."

"Something is wrong with my hip," I cry out. 

This might be where I die. 

The sky is orange from the blistering fire, and the sun is slowly setting. I get so much power from the sun. 

I look down the path, the light posts flickering, when I see the shadow of a venin appear. I unsheath the only alloy-hilted dagger I was given and hope for the best.

As he gets closer, I can tell he likes the fact that he gets to have me in hand-to-hand. It's like he can sense that I'm injured. If he wanted to, he could channel and drain the ground and kill me either way. Still, he approaches me with a devilish smile on his face that chills me to my bone. He'd rather kill me with his bare hands. 

"Thank you for choosing me." I push the thought outward, and I know it's his roar that I hear from the sky. 

"I will not tolerate that talk!" Gleigeal roars. 

"A rider without their dragon," The venin laughs wickedly. "I can't wait to get my hands on you."

"In your dreams," I snarl. 

Within the next heartbeat, he advances on me. One thing I was taught was that venin will adapt to your fighting style, so every couple of seconds, I switch. I fight like Xaden. Then Ridoc. Then Bodhi. Then Liam. Every person I have ever sparred against, every pattern I have ever written into my journal, I use it. 

When I get far enough, I throw a blinding light to catch him off guard. I haven't perfected this skill, but I push out light flares that heat my palms to an unnatural degree. Anything to keep his hands away from me. 

Each flare hits him in the chest, and I shift the particles to heat. He screams, and I know that it likely feels like someone just set a fire in his chest. 

The adrenaline has dulled the pain in my hip, but each step burns. 

While he's distracted by the light burning in his chest, I try to get a read on his emotions. There's nothing but rage and fury. He's just a gray, miserable being. There's nothing to work with. Nothing to manipulate. 

"You are approaching burnout." Gleigeal says. "I can't get to you in time."

"I have made peace with what will happen," I tell him.

The light dies out, and he's on the move towards me again. I'm fucking exhausted and my will to keep going is running thin. I'm not walking away from this alive. 

The venin throws two hits and kicks into my knee, but I don't have the speed nor mobility to stop myself from falling to the ground. I land on my back, my head hitting the ground with a crack.

Everything is happening in slow motion. 

"Back up is coming," Gleigeal assures me. His panic surges through me, but I barely have time to register when the venin stands above me. 

Gray figures are falling around us as lightning cracks across the sky. 

"Thank you for what you are about to give me." The venin says as he crouches down next to me. "I'm going to make this slow and painful." 

The way to kill venin is to strike them with pure power, with which none I have left. 

His hands reach for my wrists, and my eyes flare with panic. He slowly draws power from me, drop by drop, and I scream out, kicking my legs for purchase. 

Gods, this is how I die. 

War Games seems like such a distant memory, a figment of something that doesn't matter. 

Now, I'll be reunited with Mom, Dad, and Beckett. And Liam will be there too. 

"FIGHT." Gleigeal blows the channel, and power surges through me. Energy pulses through my fingertips, and I notice that they're glowing.

Light is not something I bend, it is something that I am. 

Everyone that I have ever lost and ever loved, I use them to push me to grip the venin's face. 

I force every ounce of burning light I have into his skull. It takes a moment, but he screams and fights to pull away. His temples burn bright under my fingers, and his skin his hot to the touch. He releases my wrists, and I force myself to sit up, holding him with a bone-crushing grip. 

I can see the power, my power, burning bright behind his eyes. It takes everything in me, but I can read his fear, and that only pushes me further. He knows I'm winning. 

The power behind his eyes flashes rapidly, and his eyes roll back before he falls limp. I rip my hands away from him and back away from his body.

Wyvern drop out of the sky around us, and I smile tiredly as I look up. A sigh of relief leaves my lungs, and the ground shakes when Gleigeal lands next to me. I almost let myself fall back, but he's there behind me. His entire body is flat as he catches me on his nose. 

"You fought well, Ania," Gleigeal says. 

"Is it over?" I ask. I can barely keep my eyes open. I feel so sleepy now.

"It appears so," He replies.

Several footsteps approach, and I flinch away when someone leans down in front of me. 

"It's just me, sunshine." Bodhi's face is in front of mine, and I blink quickly, trying to determine if he's actually here or if I'm dead. 

"Bodhi," I whisper. He lifts my hands into his, examining my wrists closely. "Is everyone okay?"

"Everyone is fine." He nods quickly. 

"I used too much, I think," I say, and he shakes his head.

"No, you did good," He tells me softly, brushing his thumb against my cheek. He sits against Gleigeal, and if I had the energy, I would be surprised that he allowed it. He pulls me in between his legs against his chest, and I wince. "I'm sorry, Ani. I'm sorry."

"Never be sorry." I use his words against him as I tilt my head upward, with a small smile. 

My arms feel like they have hundred-pound weights strapped to them when I lift my hand to trace his jaw. 

"Beautiful," I say, but the word forms in a whisper. 

I'm still convinced I'm dead and dreaming. 

Resson killed me and everyone I love, and this is me reuniting with Bodhi in the afterlife. 

"Sorrengail is down," I hear another voice to the side. I think it's Garrick. "We need to prepare Xaden for the worst. If we lose Ania too-"

"Garrick." Bodhi snaps before turning his attention back to me.

Oh.

This must be serious. I open the Riorson House library, and nothing streams in from the window. The normally deep green mage lights are gray, and the book that monitors the emotions I allow myself to feel is neatly closed. The library itself, on the other hand, looks like someone set off an explosion in it. The shelves are knocked over, and books scatter the floor. 

"Am I dying?" I ask Bodhi. 

"I don't know," He answers truthfully. A single tear rolls down his cheek. 

"Bodhi, I have to say-" 

"No," He whispers. "Please, don't. Tell me later." 

"Fuck," I hear Garrick mutter. 

"You may rest now, Ania," Gleigeal says. 

I allow myself to succumb to the darkness. 

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tag list: @itsmytimetoodream @lynnieluvsu @sherlockstrangewolf @abysshaven @wolfbc97 @paris009 @poseidont @angel-graces-world-of-chaos @lxnvmvrzx

[yingdu-lover]

We should really be more empathetic to Lu Guang from every perspective

Started my proper season 1 re-watch just now and suddenly I realised something.

Every time Lu Guang repeats his rules to Cheng Xiaoshi or he reminds him while the latter is diving, there is something in his voice (I felt it personally) that tells me he also repeats to himself (It is same as him repeating "I am okay" in Yingdu ep 1, but this is more cruel) It is not a question of hypocrisy, rather its Lu Guang implicitly trying to remind Cheng Xiaoshi that "Do not change the timeline, do not change the past, I can't let you suffer the same fate as me. I cannot, by any chance, let you face the consequences. Let it only be me who bears the sin. I can't afford YOU to suffer."

Before someone says that Cheng Xiaoshi suffers in every episode one way or another, let me tell you, it is still better than the situation Lu Guang is in. Remember, season 1 Cheng Xiaoshi is our Yingdu Cheng Xiaoshi. It's needless to say how much Cheng Xiaoshi cares for Lu Guang.

Cheng Xiaoshi getting suicidal/angry with Lu Guang because of the secrets Lu Guang kept from him is a popular theory. But...what if it's the other way around? What if Cheng Xiaoshi actually feels guilty because it was his past self for whom Lu Guang actually had to dive back ("Sorry, Lu Guang, save them"), leading to this painful fate. It is, in a sense, Cheng Xiaoshi's fault. Cheng Xiaoshi is capable of this reasoning.

And Lu Guang...every time he utters the rules (just put yourself in his shoes. How terrifying is that? Past or future let them be. Bro someone's whole existence can't be hypocrisy that's called existential crisis) he dies a little inside. As Lu Guang confesses in the beginning of Yingdu, he doesn't know how the timeline works. It's not his elaborate plan. He is taking actions carefully, one by one. One incident decides his next action. Lu Guang has been hurting since the first episode, I could feel it before, now we have canon to prove it.

Lu Guang's voice actor while asked about his favourite line stated that it's those three rules in Yingdu ep 5. "Past or future let them be" is a rule meant to be broken. In a time travel story, if they do not break the rules, I don't think the predetermined future can even be achieved. Lu Guang always lives with the ghost of the past or the anxiety of the future, but never in the present. It breaks my heart really.

Another thing I want to say. Um. Cheng Xiaoshi doesn't really inherit the very core emotions of his hosts (means he pretty much acts on his own). At least this is the impression till now. He goes berserk in those cases where he is the son/daughter/student figure. Where his own overwhelming abandonment issues (due to parental trauma) overpower his host's personal emotions.

1. Emma's case : The reason Cheng Xiaoshi can't let go of Emma's death is because Emma's happy ending would have given him a solace. The happy ending he could not have with his own parents, he wanted to make sure that someone else gets it. Emma fits that figure. Emma would not leave that of a heavy impression on him if Cheng Xiaoshi didn't talk to Emma's parents. (For example, Cheng Xiaoshi didn't care for a second in Vivian's case and fled the place asap with Lu Guang. His priority was to protect Lu Guang. Vivian offered him a choice and for Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang's safety comes first. If Cheng Xiaoshi dived into Vivian and had her parental issues experienced first hand, the arc would have been totally different.

2. Earthquake episode : Well... again. The mother figure. Cheng Xiaoshi again dreams of his mother. He wanted to save the client's mother to get one part solace for himself (I completely understand him. It is human to do. I would have gone more insane). The way he was pleading to Lu Guang to let him save her, I don't think Cheng Xiaoshi was in a state of mind to listen. Cheng Xiaoshi is also traumatised. Not all action he takes is rational (especially if the host is the 'child' figure having parental trauma). Lu Guang knew that he couldn't reason with a man who was functioning on a trauma response. He was ready for the consequences and calmly explained to Cheng Xiaoshi during the Doudou episode.

3. Wang Qing : Welp. Yeah. It was probably 90% him and 10% Wang Qing at that point. While meeting Cheng Weimin.

The very photo which was enough to traumatize Li Tianxi and inherit Lu Guang's one of the most traumatic memories (Cheng Xiaoshi's death) and which got transferred to Qiao Ling was the photo T A K E N B Y C H E N G X I A O S H I W H I L E H E W A S D I V I N G I N T O L U G U A N G' S B O D Y H U H

bro tf.

Cheng Xiaoshi didn't inherit shit. He dived twice into Lu Guang. I don't think inheriting core memories/emotions is his department. OR

Cheng Xiaoshi is way smarter than we think and Link Click intentionally left us with a narrative gap. Many things can happen so..

[d8tl55c]

oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it

as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)

first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))

a few fav scenes

emotional support cwab

they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.

papery critter.

even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)

and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3

i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.

so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and

[

several hours later ...

]

oh

oh man

it's a little bigger than i expected

<next>

[epickiya722]

... so...

[stxrfclls]

the  former  high  lord  of  the  dawn  court  was  not  a  man  that  carden  found  himself  around  often.  rumors,  whispers,  assumptions  and  gossip  surrounded  the  man  –  it  painted  enough  of  a  picture  that  kept  carden  far  away.  by  the  time  he'd  befriended  saint  the  high  lord  seemed  to  be  at  his  worst,  which  is  why  carden  never  questioned  why  there  was  so  little  mourning  when  it  came  to  his  passing.  the  man  was  not  loved  by  many  –  if  any  –  and  saint  already  did  a  better  job  in  his  shoes  than  anyone  could  ask  for.  and  now  carden  was  along  for  the  ride,  in  a  position  many  might  not  think  the  half  peregryn  capable  of.  saint  had  a  penchant  for  seeing  bits  of  the  fae  he  hid  away,  and  rather  than  run  he  decided  to  make  the  other  his  best  friend.  "  but  can't  assume  without  asking.  "  he  says  with  a  gentle  shrug.  he  doesn't  keep  pushing  much,  it  didn't  help  with  saint,  the  stubborn  lord  had  to  figure  things  out  on  his  own.  "  you  tend  to  bring  that  out  in  people.  "  he  says  with  a  shit  eating  smirk.

carden  tilts  his  head,  listening  to  saint  and  understanding  that  his  friend's  mind  was  such  an  interesting  place.  was  he  saying  what  he  believed  or  what  he  wished  to  believe  ?  "  you  don't  really  have  the  choice  never  to  marry  though,  do  you  ?  the  people  want  to  see  a  high  union,  and  children  to  consider  heirs.  "  he  supposed  there  were  lords  in  the  past  who  didn't  wed,  ladies  who  had  alternative  arrangements,  lieges  that  did  as  they  pleased,  but  the  dawn  people  were  very  traditional.  they  wouldn't  care  how  a  union  occurred,  but  they  would  wish  to  see  the  high  lord  with  a  wedded  partner  and  children  of  some  type.  "  you  act  as  if  you're  horrible  to  be  around.  "  he  teases,  and  even  if  carden  was  often  the  quickest  to  make  fun  of  saint,  he  did  need  to  note  that  the  other  wasn't  that  bad.  though  he  did  agree  –  not  just  any  fae  would  understand  just  what  marrying  into  a  high  family  was  like,  what  becoming  the  wedded  partner  of  a  high  ruler  entailed.  arguably  he  hoped  a  former  princess  did,  but  the  human  realm  was  not  the  fae  realm.  without  knowing  the  girl  himself,  carden  was  torn  between  what  saint  believed  and  what  might  be  true.  he  bites  back  a  smirk,  seeing  the  green  shades  in  saint's  tones.  "  i  suppose  he  is  an  easy  target.  "  hedges  the  emissary.  a  shrug  to  the  latter  statement  from  his  friend.  "  nobody  would  know  how  to  act  then.  "  he  thinks  of  celeste  in  particular,  but  that  wasn't  the  topic  at  hand  now.  he's  more  focused  on  saint's  issues  now,  and  not  giving  the  high  lord  something  to  use  as  a  distraction.  "  she  does,  and  we're  all  lucky  for  it.  "  carden  was  incredibly  close  to  his  mother,  and  saint  would  be  well  aware  of  how  that  relationship  was.  they  were  both  lucky  that  she  didn't  send  him  to  his  father  –  but  she  loved  him  too  much  to  do  that.  once  again  the  man  shrugs,  "  i'm  glad  they  accepted  her,  most  don't  wish  to  befriend  a  former  human.  "  if  they  even  knew,  that  was.  carden  supposed  that  could  be  another  secret  in  this  mess.  "  you  should  ask,  preferably  when  i'm  near  to  see  the  answer.  "  teases  he.

saint  could  not  bring  himself  to  regret  his  actions,  not  when  his  siblings's  lives  were  on  the  line.  given  the  way  their  father  was  on  the  verge  of  pawning  off  his  sisters,  he  knew  he'd  never  forgive  himself  if  he  allowed  any  harm  befell  his  sisters.  the  court  wouldn't  miss  the  late  high  lord  of  dawn,  not  all,  anyway.  even  if  those  closest  to  his  father  had  mourned  their  late  high  ruler  but  there  was  no  point  in  dwelling  over  the  aftermath.  what  was  done  was  done.  he  had  made  his  peace  with  what  he'd  done,  and  if  it  meant  his  siblings  could  live  freely,  than  it  was  worth  every  moment  of  it.  his  only  regret  was  pulling  lux  into  his  mess  of  a  life,  that  all  that  he'd  done,  if  it  ever  caught  up  to  him,  she  would  be  in  the  line  of  fire.  here,  perhaps  lied  his  greatest  sins,  of  dragging  another  with  him,  the  very  woman  who  owned  his  heart.  "we  do,  and  some  of  us  also  know  it's  not  always  in  the  best  interest  of  the  person  we're  wishing  to  confine  to  our  side."  he  recalled  the  flames  she  tossed  in  his  direction,  "it  was  well  deserved."  knowing  that  his  best  friend  wouldn't  disagree  saint  had  deserved  it.

saint  met  his  best's  friend  gaze.  "that's  just  it.  i  don't  have  the  mind  set  of  who  is  best  for  dawn.  for  myself,  it's  not  the  matter  of  who  is  worthy  of  being  the  high  lady  of  dawn.  i  didn't  intend  to  marry  at  all,  simply  that  it  was  not  fair  to  whomever  marries  me,  they  are  dealt  with  what  comes  with  marriage  with  a  high  lord."  he  couldn't  properly  explain  this  to  his  friend,  not  all  of  his  demons  the  one  secret  that  prevented  him  from  ever  dreaming,  or  entertaining  the  thought  of  sharing  a  life  with  someone.  "particularly,  with  what  comes  with  sharing  a  life  with  me."  he  knew  the  words  did  not  make  any  sense,  however,  carden  whilst  not  knowing  the  truth,  would  catch  on  that  something  was  off  with  his  high  lord.  it  was  not  entirely  the  weight  of  the  court  that  left  him  trouble,  more  than  keeping  someone  by  his  side  with  deceit.  the  knowledge  that  he'd  never  be  able  to  share  certain  parts  of  himself  with  his  partner.  lux  was  more  than  worthy,  and  then  some,  she  had  an  inner  strength  that  most  would  not  recognize  nor  appreciate,  but  either  way  he  would  have  her  under  further  deceit.  his  involvement  with  her  had  began  as  such,  and  it  never  quite  changed.  saint  wasn't  worthy  of  her.  "he's  well-known  skirt  chaser.  she  has  every  right  to  flirt  with  whomever,  but  of  all,  she  picks  him?"  lord  luka  was  still  far  ahead  of  saint,  he  hadn't  deceived  another  and  uprooted  their  life.  "it  should  make  more  appearances  then."  carden  himself  was  a  paradox.  still,  his  emissary's  words  do  have  the  high  lord  consider,  especially  when  he  speaks  of  his  life,  knowing  well  carden  had  been  well  off  being  raised  by  his  mother.  "you've  made  your  point.  furthermore,  your  mother  was  wise  and  she  loves  you."  he  murmured,  his  gaze  perhaps  a  touch  softer  as  he  thought  of  his  best  friends  own  life,  and  parents.  relief  that  his  mother  didn't  abandon  him  to  a  father  who  had  no  interest  in  his  son  or  take  any  sort  of  responsibility  for  his  own  children.  "i  have  seen  here  there,  among  her  own,  she  seems  to  fit  in  well  with  them.  she  deserves  that  inclusion."  she  had  looked  content,  but  even  he  couldn't  not  be  certain  she  was  truly  happy  there.  "i  do  not  know  if  she  prefers  it  there."

[roobylavender]

i missed that class what dont you like about starlins rendition of their relationship?

(and also like, DID you think he did something in particular well or was it all…meh

the crux of my issues in this regard stems from batman #416. in the post-crisis era you began to see this way more lopsided depiction of bruce and dick's relationship wherein the former was portrayed to be almost.. bitter that dick had moved on to establish his own life. and it stood in great, great contrast to the bruce of the pre-crisis era, who was certainly devastated at the realization that dick was growing up, but also very intent for him to find his own happiness and way in life. they would have their disagreements on occasion (e.g., bruce initially disapproving of dick dropping out of college, bruce immediately taking leadership of a situation where the titans were involved when dick was better equipped to handle it, etc.) but the outcome of those situations was never outright bad yknow. bruce was very much capable of recognizing where he might have overstepped and subsequently stepped back to let dick have his own space. and i think initially max allan collins expanded on that dynamic in the post-crisis era in interesting ways by juxtaposing bruce's desire to see dick flourish against his own constant fear for dick's life. so instead of mike w. barr's comedic and lighthearted backup stories in early 80s tec where bruce disguised himself to keep an eye on dick's shenanigans and assure himself everything was going alright, you got this more serious confrontation within bruce with regards to his position as a parent. i don't think a lot of people read it that deeply but i've always viewed batman #408 as one of the most sensible depictions of that dilemma. the general complaints tend to be that this issue robbed dick of his pre-crisis decision to retire robin on his own, and i'll concede that as a worthwhile concern. but i don't think it's esp damning what with the implication that bruce no longer wants to be the person indirectly making the decision for dick to continue to be in this line of work. their moment at dick's bedside is less about bruce robbing him of the decision and more about him saying, if i let you still be robin, that's a direct reflection on me, bc i'm the one who got you to do all of this originally. i'm the one who put you directly in harm's way. if you're going to do this from now on, you need to do it on your own terms. you need to decide for yourself that this is who you want to be, without your relationship with me even being a factor.

it's a moment contributive to that delicious dynamic between them wherein every decision bruce takes to service dick's agency is inevitably read the wrong way by the latter to imply that he's not valued or not worthy of being seen as bruce's equal (and before the hounds pounce on me this obv does not include the increasingly abusive depiction of their relationship as the 90s progressed). that is an unavoidable dilemma when you're simultaneously someone's ward/adopted son and also their partner-in-crime! dick wants to be bruce's son and to be entitled to all of the love and care and protection that that entails but he also wants to be bruce's brother, his equal, his confidante, the one person he trusts more than anyone else in the world, etc. it's a tough place to be! it is paradoxical! and i'm so, so open to seeing that explored and think the way collins attempted to approach it in #408 was marvelous. but the way starlin (and other writers as well) totally swerved right in #416 to create this sudden resentment in bruce that dick had grown out of needing him was.. so utterly bizarre. like completely out of left field in a way i don't understand why people don't question it anymore bc in light of everything in the immediate fifteen years prior to the crisis it makes so little sense. their relationship with each other was so valued, bruce was so anxious to see dick establish himself while nonetheless maintaining a protectiveness over him, but it was all very much in good will even if he could overstep on occasion. it had all of the potential to allow for a very nuanced, empathetic exploration into the dilemmas of parenthood and esp when you are someone like bruce who has to forever live and contend with the crime of taking kids with him out onto the streets. bc he has to feel guilty! there is no escaping it. this is history, done and dusted forever, can't go back in time, so on and so forth. whatever harm comes any robin's way he has to live with as in some part being traceable back to his own actions. and i frankly believe that would be far more likely to evoke grief and anxiousness and concern than it would be bitterness that his son is charting out his own life

[pomefioredove]

can I request house wardens + leech twins with a reader who doesn't eat enough bc Crowley doesn't give them enough for food, and they end up really ill and collapsing or something. I'm cravin some fluffy comfort rn, pls and thank you 🙏

I got you🫡🫡 as someone who's been through an eerily similar situation, I really liked this request

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ another crowley moment™️

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jade, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, mentions of food and not eating

Riddle wouldn't even have to like you to rush to your side. but he does like you, which makes it all the worse

after checking your vitals, you're in the infirmary. he's got doctors for parents, after all, and he knows that malnutrition is bad

he should have seen the signs...

with exams coming, he's been so busy, and he assumed that you were just tired from studying

but he can feel guilty later. right now, he needs to focus on you getting well again, and not killing Crowley

(then, of course, he'll look for some legal statute or clause that he can threaten Crowley with so you're fed properly)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona noticed you'd been acting a little weird lately, but watching you collapse still puts him in shock

luckily, Ruggie and Jack are nearby to help you to the infirmary, so Leona can focus on hunting Crowley down like an animal

there are very few times where Leona is particularly grateful for his status, but this is one of them. just one word on how his family will be hearing about Crowley's neglect, and the old bastard is begging him for forgiveness

even after that, Leona still sends Ruggie with snacks and drinks to Ramshackle

and if you ever scare him like that again, you'll regret it (lovingly)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

the news of you collapsing during flight lessons reaches Octavinelle rather fast. no one is particularly surprised, since Floyd had mentioned how easily you'd been bruising lately just the night before, but everyone is certainly worried

Azul is the first at your side, asking you all sorts of questions, worried sick. Jade has to remind him to give you space to rest, since you look exhausted (had you always had those dark circles? how could Azul have not noticed?)

now, Azul and the tweels could easily find a way to pressure Crowley, but they know better than to trust him

from now on, you'll be eating in the Mostro Lounge, free of charge

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

perhaps Kalim was just oblivious, because he really didn't think anything was wrong until you were suddenly on the floor in front of him

sure, you'd been a little moody lately, but he figured it was just a thing you were going through. and besides, you know that you can talk to him about anything... right?

Jamil hurries to check your pulse, and shouts for him to get the school nurse- which is jarring, because Jamil never shouts

when you explain everything to Kalim later, he feels... terrible. he should've known- no, he should've asked

Kalim insists you stay at Scarabia while you're recovering, and makes sure you have the most enriching, delicious meals money can buy

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil knew it was bad, but not this bad. if he had known you were on the verge of collapsing, he would've taken a firmer approach to getting you to eat

you're going to worry him to death someday, you know that?

after he's done verbally eviscerating Crowley, he'll insist on joining you at every meal. he'll eat at Ramshackle, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if that's what it takes

he's subtle about it, at least

if he notices that your plate feels empty, he'll just take some food from his and put it on yours. gracefully, elegantly, without a word

you'll come home one day to see your kitchen stocked with vitamins, supplements, and apples (courtesy of Epel)

<3 and a note that says he'll treat you to dinner whenever you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

never scare Idia like that ever again. he wasn't even with you when you collapsed, and he STILL nearly had a heart attack

listen, he knows he's not a great role model when it comes to nutritional eating, but you have got to tell him these things. he would've had Ortho go get takeout! or something!

typical Crowley behavior, SMH. what does he think you are? a rabbit? even the school horses get treated better...

no way that Idia is going to even bother with that old fart, anyway. you want something? he'll get it for you. you don't even have to ask, he'll just send food to your place (and have Ortho check your vitals more often but shhh)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I would not want to be in the room when Malleus finds out about this

not even the building. you know what? I'd steer clear of the whole island, because it will not be pretty

when you collapse in front of him, it feels like he's dying, too. the panic sets in, and he sends Lilia to look after you, and Silver and Sebek to escort you to the infirmary, and then he casually threatens to smite Crowley. obviously

if the students and staff of NRC thought Malleus was scary just being Malleus, he's terrifying when he's mad

(rest assured that you will be getting ten times the amount of food from now on)

it's thunderstorms for days after, but he never leaves your side

[bohemiandeer]

You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.

But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.

Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.

I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.

FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.

[a-b-riddle]

Part Three

Warning: If you don't like Taylor Swift, you're not gonna like this chapter that much, homie. But So Long, London is so fitting for this drabble series. (I guess a series since it's longer than a drabble at this point)

Can’t stop thinking about reader just trying to move on

You had to remind yourself several times not to check in with the guys. It had almost become second nature doing something big like this. But going to another country…

Not that they would care. You told yourself. It was for the best that way.

The expo went better than you expected. You didn’t believe that there would be a line out the door of eager readers wanting to read your book, but you got a decent amount. More than a few told you they couldn’t wait to read it. Several asking for photos and asking questions on any future books, a spin-off or even continuing the series.

When one a particular large group of girls your age asked for a group photo, you could have cried. They were had found each other in an online book club. You had given them your book several months ago. All copies signed with a note thanking them for taking the time to read what you had poured your heart into.

You had spent a large chunk of your free time talking to them. Bonding more so as women than over your book.

"Have you listened to Taylor's new album?"

It had only been out for two days and you had been able to avoid it like the plague. You didn't need to even listen to 'So Long, London' to know it would fucking gut you. So you would enjoy your time in the states. Save the listening experience for when you were packing up their stuff.

They had posted and tagged you before continuing on with the rest of the expo. You had reposted the photo to your own social media. Or at least one attached to the pen name you had crafted. You only had twelve thousand instagram followers, but it was something.

The first day was much like the second. You had attended several Q & A sessions with a panel of more experienced authors and managed to go to a few meet and greets. Before you knew it, it was time to pack up shop.

The agent the publishing house had assigned to you had stuck with you for most of the day. You were able to pick her brain a bit about new ideas for possible future plot lines and her thoughts. Overall, the trip was great.

Not only were you able to make great connections and take a lot back home with you to reference, but for a few days you forgot what waited for you back home. Or rather what wasn't waiting for you.

By the time your plane landed back in London you could barely hold yourself up. You left the expo, went straight to the hotel to shower, pack and head to the airport.

Your flight was delayed. Your luggage was taking forever to get onto the belt. It was only seven, but fuck if you weren’t ready to just call it a day. Tomorrow you would have to start again. Opening up the shop. Coming back to an empty flat. Maybe start gathering up the items the boys had left behind.

Should you give them in separate boxes or just one giant one and let them sort it out themselves? It was easy to discern whose sweatshirt and t-shirts belonged to who, but when it got to things like socks and chargers...

Yeah.

They could sort it themselves.

You could drop it off at Kyle's when you knew he would be at the gym. He was good at avoiding you anyway.

It wasn't until you stood in your apartment did it hit you.

You were alone.

For the first time in over a year you couldn't call one of them over to soothe that ache of loneliness.

For the first time in over a year, you had to relearn how to handle just being alone.

You usually showered at night. Washing away the grime of the day before settling into bed. But today was a new chapter. You woke up wanting to start it on a good note. Plus you went straight to bed after getting home so you still had a bit of airport funk on you.

It had been a week. One official since you had sent that text nailing the coffin shut. You had touched base with your friends who didn't bat an eye at you dating four men at once. They liked them, even if Simon scared them. You didn't give them the details of the breakup or the cause. You were pretty private in your problems and if you wanted relationship advice, you would seek an unbiased unopinion.

You had a good group of friends, but the moment you told them that you were well and truly heartbroken, they would insist the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Something you were nowhere near ready for.

So you needed to look like you had your shit together. You put on a dress that was feminine and, most importantly, comfy as fuck. An A-line floral frock paired with a light sweater and some white trainers. You knew a few of your friends would be stopping by for tea so you need to look like you were taking the separation well. Even if you were barely holding it together.

With makeup and perfume on, you started the early morning stroll to your shop.

You loved openings. Starting up the register and selecting the playlist for today. Picking out the essential oil to put in the diffuser even though you mostly stuck with a lavender and vanilla blend during the spring months.

For the morning you stuck with a Taylor Swift Instrumental playlist you had found initially for studying, but you liked the peaceful feeling it brought. Even when it covered the most gut wrenching songs.

You had started to collect the online orders that had accumulated over the last week. Sending out the e-mails alerting to your patrons that their orders were ready for pick up. Luckily you weren't set to receive a delivery until tomorrow.

It was eight and everything was set. Although not many people came to a bookstore at eight in the morning, it really didn't bother you opening up that early considering you were the only employee that was on the payroll. It gave you the possibility of making money, but mostly you spent the morning reading or writing.

You flipped the sign over from CLOSED to OPEN. Ready to start take on the day.

You had turned the kettle on in the back room when your friends had stopped by around lunch. You always said it was just tea, but you always had an array of snacks on standby for you all to munch on.

Meredith was complaining about what a dick the new client at the law firm was being. An absolute slime who had been married to his wife for almost twenty-five years before he decided to fuck his twenty-two year old assistant.

Tabitha didn't want to talk about work. To her, her career in tech was just a paycheck. She did what she needed to do and left when she was done.

You talked about the expo and how your book. Although neither of them really read, they had promised that they would read your book. You didn't hold your breath. They had reposted your posts as well as making ones of their owns in celebration of you. Words of praise about your dedication and hard work.

You realized that even though they couldn't give you the support you needed as readers, they supported you blindly. You could have written absolute garbage, but they would still support you.

You talked about how many people liked your book and wanted pictures and to sign their copies.

Then came the question you had been rehearsing since you had texted them a week ago. They both shared a look before Meredith finally asked.

"How are you holding up?" You gave a half-smile and a shrug. So perfectly rehearsed in your head you were ready to deliver your lies lines.

"I'm fine," you lied. "It was just fading so there isn't much of a difference, I guess." Not necessarily a lie. "We just wanted different things and were on different paths in life." Not a lie. "It's for the best." You weren't sure if that last one was a lie or not just yet.

They both shared a passing look before returning their gazes back to you. "You know you can come to us about this stuff." Tabitha's hand reached across the table, placing a hand on top of yours.

"It wasn't going to work out." You added. "Situations like that don't and I should have known better."

"A situation?" Meredith asked. "When have you ever called it a situation?"

"It always was one."

"I love you enough to call bullshit." She raised her eyebrow at you, crossing her arms over her chest. "You loved them and you need to stop pretending this is easy."

"You're a divorce lawyer, Mere," You reminded. "You see marriages fall apart every day."

"I do. I get to see from across the table how a woman is still willing to take her cheating arse of a husband back. So the fact that you went from on cloud nine with all of them to not even talking about the break up is concerning to say the least."

"Tabitha," you looked at your only ally left. "A little back up would be nice."

"I'm with her on this one." She confirmed. "You loved them. Not that I cared, but if you weren't talking about books or the shop, you were talking about them. What you did, where you went. How they fucked you."

"I think I'll miss that part the most." Mere sighed. "I lived vicariously through you."

"You know you could actually date people." Tabitha suggested.

"I'd rather live with chronic carpal tunnel than a man." You almost choked on your tea. If you were wearing pearls you would have used the comedic relief of clutching them to break the awkwardness of the current topic of conversation.

"That should be put on a t-shirt." You suggested

"I wouldn't mind it on a welcome mat to be honest." Tabitha added.

"But in all seriousness, cut this bullshit." Meredith gave you an sympathetic smile. "We're here. Good, bad and ugly."

You returned her smile. "I know."

You had closed up shop for the evening. Your lunch had gone longer than expected so now you were left doing the dishes and clean up during closing. You were setting the last cup on the drying rack when you heard the front door chime.

Shit.

You must have forgotten to lock the door when you turned the sign.

“I’m sorry!” You apologized, making your way out of the back break area and to the front of the store. “We’re-”

“Closed.” He said, locking the door behind him. “I saw the sign.”

[iid-smile]

★ — doing the 'we listen and we don't judge' challenge with bllk boys!

isagi, bachira, karasu, nagi, rin, chigiri

content — maybe ooc especially for karasu, nagi is a red flag, underwear mentioned in karasu's, bachira is gross (please beware) 😧

a/n: not my idea, but i dont know if i should tag or not 🫣 trying to write out what im imagining in my head is the WORST so pls bare with me 🙏🙏 also there might be mistakes bc my grammar is shit

★ — isagi yoichi

"you know how we were playing mario kart the other day?" his thumbs twirl around each other amid his struggle to make eye contact with you. he's always felt bad lying to your face, but that specific time, he didn't really lie, only hid it from you. "and you lost really bad on that one map?"

at least it's better than what you were expecting. you've seen some couples break up over this trend despite being picture-perfect, and you didn't want to be victim to that curse either. "uh huh..." you nod.

"i searched up where the best shortcuts were and spent three hours every day for a month practicing speed runs."

"nooooo!" your hand lands on his as disbelief washes over you. "baby, why would you do that?" betrayal. betrayal. your own boyfriend has kept something like this a secret for how long?

"i'm sorry!" was it selfish to admit that some weight was lifted off his shoulders too? or that he's actually done that with the majority of the maps? no, he won't say that. "i just—"

"that's my favourite map too..." you pout up at him. you weren't actually that upset, but you knew that looking the part would earn you some cuddles and kisses, which you were craving right now.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry." his arms wrap around you as he whispers out soft apologies, his lips pressing on your temple. "i'll teach you what i know, okay?"

★ — bachira meguru

"we listen and we don't—"

"i dropped your toothbrush in the toilet three times in a row and i didn't clean it afterwards."

"..."

"what?" bachira's eyebrows raise in confusion, slightly cutting out of the frame as his feet fiddle around as he plays with the electric yellow tips of his hair. "oh! also once there was no toilet paper, but i really really needed to dookie, and only your towel was there, so..."

oh, you don't even want to touch him. or yourself. or anything at this rate. mind you, that event happened yesterday, not a long time ago. "seriously!?"

"what?" his innocent act strikes again, looking at you with big eyes as you struggle to wrap your head around whatever he's just said. and why the hell are they all linked to the bathroom? is that why he spends hours in there at a time?

"you told me that was chocolate!" you gasp, the walls guarding over the truth crumbling down all at once.

"some of it was, yeah. i think i'm lactose intolerant."

oh, god...

★ — karasu tabito

"what, i just say something i've never told you?" karasu muses, his eyes on you rather than the camera as he leans on the kitchen counter, head nestled on his fist.

he hums mindlessly, mind reeling through memories. what hasn't he told you? the words 'i can't think of anything' remain on the tip of his tongue, but after a while, his eyebrows twitch. it was certainly something, but that's what you wanted, right?

"i've worn your underwear once... i think." he admits, acting like that was an ordinary thing to say.

um... what? "what do you mean 'you think'?" in your 'rage', you feebly punch at his chest, only for it to be caught with ease by him.

he knows full well that he could overpower you if he wanted to, but he lets you have your fun, or frustration, pushing back on your hands with equal strength. "no, no, you said no questions." he chuckles, finding your efforts to fight back adorable.

"but—!"

"that's your rule, not mine."

★ — nagi seishiro

"we listen and we don't—" you tug on the sleeve of nagi's hoodie, trying to coax him into sitting up. "sei, at least try to look at the camera."

for a few seconds, there's a few mumbled 'no...'s from him, as well as your near desperate pleas for him to at least attempt to do something for you for once. every time you want to do a cute or funny tiktok trend with him, it's always a struggle for to get up, or in most cases, listen to you at all.

right when you least expect it, he has his response. "i used to hate you a lot. maybe still do. there. are we done?"

your jaw immediately drops. "sei, you can't just..." you're hurt, confused, conflicted and... now you don't know what to do. should you continue? should you cut the video and ask for him to explain himself?

"that's what you wanted me to say." his voice perks up from behind you as he plops onto his back again. the sound of his game fills your ears once more as you're still stunned in silence, only for him to pour more salt onto the wound. "or do you want me to continue?"

yeah, you are not posting this.

★ — itoshi rin

rin blinks at you in confusion as you try to break down the trend to him, his eyes unusually wide as they remained trained on yours. he's just so lost, because why would he ever want to say something mean directly to you just for a funny video?

once it's his turn, you have to give him a little nudge, signalling that it's his turn. honestly, he doesn't even know what to do, even after your little demonstration before him.

he thinks, and he thinks, and he thinks, but nothing comes to mind. "i like it when you wear my jerseys."

you almost wanted to melt from how cute his tiny confession was right then and there. you inferred as much, but hearing him say it out loud "that's not something i can judge, rin."

"i don't really have anything to say." his gaze drifts around the room, landing on the camera for a split second before looking away.

scoffing, your body turns towards him. how does he not? "you judge me all the time!" you blurt out, remembering all of the times you've been a target of his foul mouth.

"that's because you're weird. sometimes."

"sometimes— you know what, it's better than what i've heard you say to certain people." literally everybody he knows fits under the 'certain people' umbrella.

★ — chigiri hyoma

you were a little scared, because chigiri seemed a bit too on board with the idea. knowing him, he's got a lot of stuff to say, bad or worse. hell, he could insult your entire existence and that would be the genuine truth, based on the gossip you've had together, but he's not that mean to you. right?

he looks you dead in the eye. "i've made a pros and cons list about you five times, and the last one was a week ago."

"hyo!" you immediately exclaim, playfully pushing his side. not as bad as you were expecting, but it certainly stung.

he simply shrugs his shoulders. "i mean, there wasn't any cons the last time, so..." you both stare at each other, and his lips thin into a straight line, pulling off the most unbothered expression that he could.

"you're lying." and he's never been a good liar either.

ignoring you, he turns back to the camera, somehow managing to hold back his giggles as he refuses to elaborate. "we listen and we don't—"

"chigiri hyoma."

"we listen and— ow!" the video cuts off with you delivering a barrage of hits against his arm. don't worry, they were all light and they didn't hurt; as you claim, not him.

[drmaddict]

It would be a little unconventional

Summary: Aegon and (Y/n) just married. No one has seen them in the last four days. But that doesn't change the fact that half the castle can hear what they're doing.

Word count: 1.309

Autors note: a bit subby Aegon, anal fingering, well... smut as you may have guessed

"How long has it been since anyone's seen them?", Daemon asked the group, bored.

Rhaenyra smirked. Alicent killed her wine goblet with a look. Jaecerys surprisingly joined Alicent and cut his flesh with more force than necessary.

"Daemon." Rhaenyra rebuked him, still smirking.

He was not impressed. "When was the last time you saw them?", he asked her directly.

She rolled her eyes. "At the wedding.", she replied curtly.

"Which was four days ago.", he added just as curtly.

"Princess, perhaps you should-"

The door to the dining room opened. All eyes shot to (y/n) like moths to a flame.

"Is that your night gown?" Jaecerys asked his sister in shock.

"Yes.", (Y/n) said curtly and immediately grabbed various dishes from the table. She threw a handful of bread rolls onto the plate of fruit, which she simply took and immediately reached for a carafe of wine.

"You can't walk around-"

(Y/n) immediately interrupted her brother. "I'm already off again. Just relax. By the gods."

"Where's Aegon?", asked Alicent.

(Y/n) smiled. "He's asleep."

"At such an early hour?"

"He was tired." (Y/n) shrugged and pressed the carafe of wine into the hand of the member of the Kingsguard who had been following her until just now.

"Long night?", Daemon grinned.

(Y/n) grinned. "It seemed rather short lived to me."

Jaecery's glass shattered in his hand, his grip was so firm.

With that, (Y/n) simply turned round again and motioned to the man from the Kingsguard to follow her. He complied, overwhelmed.

Aemond watched with satisfaction as Jaecerys and Lucerys shoved their food back into themselves with an angry look. "Be glad you can't hear them.", he said to his nephews, sounding bored. "Whorehouses sound more chaste than those two."

Jaecerys leapt across the table towards him.

"Aegon?" she whispered, jerking his shoulder slightly.

"Ngh.", he sighed and curled up, pulling the blanket tighter around him.

"I got something to eat."

A snore was her reply.

She sighed. Had she overdone it? Was it too much for him? He liked sex. She knew that. She liked sex. They had sex. A lot of sex... Mainly because of her. And she wanted to do it again. Was she overwhelming him? Him? Aegon II Targaryen, who had spent his entire adolescence shagging his way through every brothel he could find?

She looked at his sleeping face. How could he look so innocent after what they'd both been doing for the last four days?

She poured herself a cup of wine and sat down in the armchair in the room.

The last few days had been wonderful and exciting. They had tried each other out before the wedding, but had always been careful not to risk pregnancy. They hadn't gone all the way. They also had to meet in secret. They had to be quiet. But now. Now they weren't holding back. And by the gods she would do anything to hear the sounds he was making. Those little sighs. The whimpers. The high clear moans when he was about to come. His eyes. Watery and so big as they looked up at her. He didn't want to believe that she had already read a thing or two.

That she wasn't completely ignorant. She was sure he wouldn't question her creativity again.

She sipped her wine and gazed into the fire of the flickering fireplace.

But perhaps she was really overdoing it. Everyone always made fun of how much lust Aegon had indulged in over the years. But she understood. Would people make fun of her too?

She heard the blanket rustle. She turned her face towards the bed. Aegon sat up, his face scrunched up. He rubbed his eyes. His hair was sticking up wildly from his head. Irritated, he looked around, then his gaze landed on her. "What are you doing?", he asked, pouting slightly and still sounding sleepy.

She looked at her glass. "I'm drinking wine." ,she explained simply.

Aegon pouted more. "What are you doing in that armchair? Come here!", he whined.

She grinned awkwardly. "I just thought you might want a break.", she mumbled.

Aegon furrowed his eyebrows in irritation. "From what?"

"Well..." she pointed vaguely at the bed. "From me-"

"If I want a break from fucking my wife, or letting her fuck me,", he winked at her, "I'll let you know."

She smiled awkwardly. "It's not too much?"

He shook his head with a smile. "If anything, I've got a few books and we'll try everything I found in there."

She grinned. Playfully, she stood up. "Anything you want to start with?"

Aegon smiled. "It would be a little unconventional.", he purred.

He gripped her hips as she settled on his lap.

"Tell me about it.", she whispered and kissed his neck softly.

His breath trembled. "There's a contraption. A harness and... hmmm... and a fake phallus. You could take me with that. Fuck me."

"And that's good for you?"

"I never come harder."

"Explain it to me.", she sighed against his neck.

Aegon reached out to take her hand. Without hesitation, he took two of her fingers in his mouth. One would almost think, he wanted to blow her fingers, licking over her tender skin with such fervour.

"Fuck.", she sighed. His eyes were glassy and so wonderfully veiled.

Aegon released her fingers and lay on his back. She moved beneath him. He quickly shoved one of the pillows under his bum and spread his legs. "And now-", he placed her fingers at his opening. His breathing was shaky. "Start with one finger. Push upwards. There... fuck... there's a point... Ha."

He dropped his head powerlessly into the pillows as she slowly slid her finger inside him. "Like this?"

"Yes! Fuck yes!"

She pressed in further. Watched his face. The crease between his eyebrows. The closed eyes. The slightly open mouth.

"Add the second one. But slowly."

She complied with his request. "Does it hurt?"

He shook his head. "It only stings at first. It's better with oil."

She grinned. "Do you do that to yourself?", she whispered against his ear.

He grinned. "As often as I can."

She grinned. "You like it?"

He nodded quickly. "Move your fingers. Like you're fucking me."

She withdrew her fingers and pushed them back in. Aegon sighed happily.

"You were talking about a point."

He nodded. "Further in. That's right. Press your fingertips upwards. A little to the right. Ah, right there! Oh fuck. Fuck!"

She drew little circles over the spongy spot. "Like this?"

Aegon groaned, whimpering. "Yes.", he whimpered. "Faster. Please. AH!"

She complied with his request. She started kissing his neck again. Caressed his skin. "Can you come just like that?"

Aegon simply nodded. Unable to speak. The sight made her feel the heat between her legs. She felt the wetness. He lay decadently in front of her and she savoured the sight of him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Aegon's semen shot all over his chest and down to his chin. Even (Y/n's) cheek was not spared.

His body tensed. It felt like his insides wanted to break her fingers.

He drove his ass towards her fingers like a madman. Much longer than usual, he floated in ecstasy before his body collapsed.

He lay there, beaten and unable to move.

"Holy mother.", he sighed.

(Y/n) giggled. She kissed his cheeks. She playfully rubbed her nose against the shell of his ear. "I don't think I've ever been so wet.", she whispered.

Aegon's body trembled. He smiled slightly.

"I can't move a muscle, but... If you want a repeat of last night...", he grinned mischievously at her.

She bit her lip. She positioned her thighs next to his head.

"But tell me if I get too heavy.", she smirked.

"I'd die a happy man," he grinned.

[ssahotchnerr]

omg could you maybe write something about reader going to one of jacks soccer games and all of the moms are jealous of her bc she’s with hotch

not so friendly competition

omg i absolutely can cw; fem!reader, jealous suburban moms, one tries to make a pass at aaron, established relationship, small angst?, pettiness, aaron being adorable <3 wc; 1.3k

from the moment you arrived - a hand clasped in aaron's, jack excitedly sprinting ahead the two of you - you could feel the target on your back.

the warm, refreshing morning suddenly felt quite stuffy. as if strangely enough, there wasn't enough air to go around. the feeling especially solidified when aaron gave you a sweet, parting kiss - him off to uphold his coaching duties, you off to find a spot on the grass to set up your chair.

you half expected it, the feeling out of place and self consciousness; this was jack's second season playing soccer, aaron's second season coaching, and most of the players had returned from last year. long story short, and entering a relationship with aaron only a few weeks after jack's season had concluded, you were the new face.

not only that, you were missing a common trait amongst the others. you weren't, by definition, jack's mom.

it was a silly, technical notion, and it was quite possible you weren't the only outlier, but you simply wanted to belong there just as much as the others. to feel as if you belonged.

and that's definitely not how you currently felt.

despite your perception - hoping you had falsely and quickly misjudged the atmosphere - you offered the moms a smile and a hello as you got settled. you got maybe one, two responses in return, before they resumed their ongoing conversation without you. any hopefulness that remained, deflated as you sat there silently.

and while you weren't exactly listening to them, you could still make out bits and pieces of their conversation. however, your ears fully perked up at the mention of aaron. which also brought you into the discussion.

"you're with the coach?"

her question wasn't based on genuine interest, a getting-to-know-type basis, a friendly conversation starter. but, it was rather accusatory, as if you'd done something detrimentally wrong.

you nodded, your eyebrows furrowing briefly in confusion. "yes?"

"like... with him?"

oh.

the standoffish environment wasn't due to you being unwelcome, or, at least not in the way you had previously anticipated. it was jealousy, plain jealousy. they must've spent all of last season ogling aaron, and here you were, getting in the way.

again, you nodded in confirmation. a few grimaces were produced amongst several faces, igniting something deep within you, suddenly feeling very protective of aaron and your relationship.

you casually shot back, relentlessly, "why, is that a problem?"

the mom shrugged, pulling her eyes from yours annoyingly, as if you'd done her an injustice.

she didn't stop there though, uttering something under her breath. while you didn't hear what it was exactly - the low tone definitely indicated she had just insulted you in one way or another.

and choosing to remain on the civil side, you held your tongue.

the whispers continued sparingly; as much as it stung, and as much as the red-hot feeling that had settled in your body was uncomfortable, why should you let it affect you? they weren't a threat, they were suburban moms - probably peaked in high school, probably relied off their husband's salary, probably thought they were better than each and every person they came across.

you could be annoyed, but you weren't worried. the bigger picture, you had what they wanted; you had aaron. you've already won, despite any fights they attempted to pick.

"i need to stretch my legs." the same woman abruptly said, loudly to gain your interest.

she promptly rose, walking towards the team's bench. or more specifically, right up to aaron.

she was quick to strike up a conversation with him - overdramatizing her already-shrill laugh, displaying open body language, the sweetest smile she could muster up.

what did you in, a 'friendly' touch to his arm before she retreated, whenever she finished saying whatever the hell was so important she had felt the need to interrupt his coaching for.

and throughout such, aaron appeared as his typical friendly self as he engaged with her, as expected. although a look of confusion did flash across his face when she graced his arm.

your jaw clenched in anger, but you kept reminding yourself: her actions were just to spite you, just to piss you off, and you refused to give her the reaction she seemingly so desperately craved.

so when she returned, with an awfully smug look plastered on her face and dropping into her chair with a sense of pure satisfaction, you kept your focus forward. you came to watch jack's game, and that's exactly what you were going to do.

but during the mid-game break, once aaron had finished talking with the kids and they sprinted back onto the field to practice some goals, did you approach him.

"hi sweetheart," aaron mumbled into your skin as he kissed your temple, one of his hands comfortably finding your back. "enjoying the game?"

you nodded, offering him a timid smile.

"what's wrong?"

"nothing." you lied, tucking yourself into his chest. you took a deep breath and sighed, smelling the traces of light sweat and grass clinging to him.

"you don't think i buy that, do you?" he asked, a gentle, almost comical tone to his words - all to lighten up your present tension. "what is it?"

you shook your head, "i don't want to talk about it..." your eyes shot over to your new best friends, whose eyes were glued to the two of you. "here."

aaron glanced over at them, profiling immediately. "are they giving you a hard time?"

after a moment's hesitation, an annoyed huff escaped you. "let's just say they're not too happy that the coach is taken."

"what?" aaron laughed breathlessly, his face scrunching the smallest amount in confusion. "half of them are married."

"clearly that doesn't matter, they're still over there undressing you with their eyes." you arched an eyebrow, the scowl on your face only deepening.

"c'mon, you're too pretty to make that face." aaron lightly teased, kissing your pout gently. at the touch, your face did relax, the ends of your lips itching to turn upwards into a smile.

"oh they're gonna hate that you did that."

aaron shrugged, kissing you again. "let them."

you surrendered yourself to your smile, but you still frustratedly crossed your arms in front of your chest. "it's ridiculous."

aaron was quick to untangle your hands, holding onto them and applying a gentle squeeze. "you know you don't have competition. you have me."

"i know. that's why i feel so stupid i'm letting it bother me." you gritted through your teeth. "what did that one woman even say to you?"

"truthfully, i couldn't tell you. i wasn't paying attention." he answered honestly, his eyebrows drawing into a line as he even attempted to mentally recall it.

you couldn't help but laugh, pressing yourself more into him. "you're insufferable."

"i try." aaron joked, but his expression switched tactics, to genuine concern as he moved in front of you, "in all seriousness, are you going to be okay?"

"yeah." you brought your hands to his chest, running your thumbs against his pecs affectionately. you already were. "i have you, don't i?"

"and you could always stay here with me." aaron playfully, but earnestly offered. "and be my beautiful, thoughtful, astounding, beautiful assistant coach."

"you drive a hard bargain," your eyebrows rose, feeling his chuckle underneath your fingers. "but it's okay. i'm not gonna let them think they're running the show, or that they can step on me like that." you shook your head. "and as needed, i might have to flaunt you around."

aaron grinned, proudly. "that's my girl."