#didn’t watch the during tatinof

[youcouldhearmesmile]

to everyone who is going to the final wad shows in february:

i am not at all jealous and i will NOT suffer from extreme fomo or cry myself to sleep that weekend. absolutely not. why would you even think that?

[ingydar-phan]

Oh boy here we go again. Had another Dan and Phil dream but this time it was infuriating and it was about TIT.

So it was my TIT date and essentially the dream was that everything went wrong. I got to the venue early before even the called time, and nobody at the venue had their shit together. The merch was mixed up, only like half of the DNP merch was there and they just had random other items. The workers were super unprepared and it took me 20 minutes to get my merch because I had to repeat over and over again which things I wanted and they were being stupid asf. Then I was directed to the place where silver vip was supposed to go, which I assumed involved the vip merch bundle and the place to submit preshow questions. But when I got there, it was just a big room with orange lighting and DNP were nowhere to be found and the staff were forcing us to just sit in there and wait when it was clear there was nothing going on and they had nothing for us. Then I went to the actual show and it was great and DNP essentially hard launched but I couldn’t even enjoy it bc there was someone super tall sitting in front of me and for some reason I was only half paying attention bc I was posting shit on tumblr about how bad it was lol. Also for some reason the intermission happened like over 3/4 into the show. So during intermission I’m trying to get staffs attention like hey I didn’t get my VIP stuff and I didn’t see the preshow and the staff is mixing up the merch…and the staff freaking kidnapped me. They took me to like New York for some reason? But it was like part of the venue? Idk but they like built a second venue in NYC for kidnapping and they trapped me and some other people in there until we stopped complaining lmfao. But then DNP heard about this and decided to make up for it by holding an after-show q and a in the empty vip room for us to watch. Except for some reason now they were TATINOF DNP, like with the fringes. So anyway they did like an hour long q and an and also gave free meet and greets to the silver vip so I got to meet them. I don’t really remember how it ended besides I was extremely pissed the entire time because everything was horrible

[blossoms-phan]

can I just say that I am so incredibly happy to be along for the ride during this crazy time in the phandom rn and to be experiencing it with you all!! i’m always yapping about the same stuff but I genuinely can’t fathom the fact that i’m not still 15 years old and that I’m graduating university this year and I’ve been watching Dan and Phil for over 10 years now. witnessing them rise so quickly during the 2014-16 era was just so incredible, and even though I didn’t get to go to tatinof, getting tabinof as a gift was one of the highlights of my life tbh. it was so different then, I had thousands of followers on ig for posting shit edits and ranting about my middle school antics in captions and here I’m overjoyed to get a few notes on a post(thank u for 50 followers tho :p). i stopped posting on my instagram fan account around 2016 when I started high school bc life was busy and shit was starting to get real- I kept watching dnp, but I’d be lying if I said I was fully invested during all of ii- this is the time that I fell off a bit with the phandom and I was proud to see them continuing to do stuff on their own terms but was just so caught up with other stuff in my life I couldn’t focus on them as much anymore. however, if the past few months and starting this blog have shown me anything it’s how important community in fandom spaces is!!! i don’t know anyone personally in my life that watches dnp, and the only times that I’ve fallen off with watching them or haven’t been as excited about it is when I didn’t have people to yap about how much I love them with, even if it’s just online. i was just kind of over social media which is perfectly valid and I think you can 100% enjoy art without having to engage with online spaces, but having a space outside YouTube comment sections to share my thoughts, talk with people, see the art and things they’re making or thinking about dnp has allowed me to enjoy and be excited about their antics even more. I’m always yapping about how community relates to everything and I’m just so happy and grateful to still be apart of all of this!! another reason I felt constrained with being a part of phandom spaces is that I like to protect my anonymity online for several reasons and while that is perfectly valid and other people do it too, I felt kind of left out when people would post selfies and make friends on twit when I stopped sharing my name and other stuff but I feel like that’s been a little easier on tumblr. however I might have to drop that mask a little bc I would love to join a group of people going to the show this year!! anyways no one is reading this I’ve just been thinking, I love dnp and am so excited for everything that’s happening. tit 4ever <3

[phanfictioncatalogue]

1k Words Fics (6) Masterlist

Links last checked: October 14th, 2024

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

Amsterdan (ao3) - Iittlesparkle

Summary: Dan feels like he cares more about people than people care about him. During their visit of Amsterdam, Phil decides to show him otherwise.

broken porcelain (put me back together baby) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Dan wakes up - in pain, in little tiny pieces he can't make any sense of.

And Phil's out for the day, not there to take care of him while he lays in bed, contemplating the universe and why his goddamn brain has to spread its pain to the rest of his body on his worst of days.

but first, let me take a sealfie (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan is bored.

buttons on a coat (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan meets up with his mum while he’s wearing phil’s coat

calla lillies & sunflowers (ao3) - whiskers (robertmontauk)

Summary: What the fuck?

A long-stemmed flower - just one, who the fuck only buys one flower? - taped to the front of his locker, with a small piece of paper wrapped around the stem, right underneath where the petals end.

(or: dan gets flowers, because he deserves them.)

call me but love (ao3) - jerseker

Summary: Phil can’t change his last name - Dan won’t let him. He’s been attached to that name since 2009.

cherry blossom dreams (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: They should be in their own house by now, with their own yard where they would be able to sit without all their two hundred neighbors looking down at them in the shared courtyard.

Clear your mind (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Dan is anxious about uploading and Phil offers to help clear his head.

Edelweiss Green (ao3) - orpheusTestifies

Summary: 'The employee had given them a strange look, like it was weird for two people to have an argument about paint colors in the middle of the paint aisle. Dan, despite his attempts to repress everything about his previous employment, was absolutely confident that it was not.'

(Or, in which a house is built, improved upon, and lived in, more or less in that order.)

Forever Home (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: just some tiny pieces from their new chapter

For Him (ao3) - MaeTaurus

Summary: Dan and Phil share a few moments in between TATINOF shows while touring across America.

garden camping (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: They sit in Phil’s parents’ garden, sharing childhood stories and making plans for the future.

Getting That D (Vitamin) (ao3) - ordanary

Summary: What their fans didn’t see when Dan posted that one Instagram story sunbathing half naked.

Green Sofa (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: This might be Phil’s favorite place in this house to fuck, he thinks. The beds are nice, and they’ve certainly tested the integrity of the office chairs a time or two, but this green couch in the nerd cave, it really is his favorite

in which they get married in bed (ao3) - Wraithpinned

Summary: “We could just get married right here you know?” Dan said, plainly.

---

Inspired by the scene in The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo where they get married with no one watching.

our love keeps the things it finds (ao3) - dbg_708

Summary: The minutes they spent at the top of Manchester, when he first saw Dan in a train station, looking at him out of breath and sweaty in front of hundreds of people, giving him flowers when he was finally coming back home, and kissing him silly in their kitchen all reside in the same crook of his heart: unrelated to and away from his aches and pains.

rainy days at the library (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Even on rainy days Dan winds up at the library, but it's not so bad when his company is the cute librarian.

Sister Daniel (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Dan isn’t an exhibitionist. Okay, maybe he is. A little bit. A slutty nun exhibitionist, perhaps.

skip all the small talk (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: AU in which Dan and Phil have hated each other for years, but when Dan takes a break and comes back to return to Vidcon, the two get stuck in an elevator together, and Dan learns that maybe he doesn't hate Phil Lester like he thought he did while trapped with him.

Spaceship Earth (ao3) - indistinct_echo

Summary: Dan can’t understand why Phil insists on repeating the most boring ride on the planet, but that doesn’t mean he won’t go along with it.

A fic about creating private spaces in public places.

stuck in last night (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: phil can't get his mind off last night

the cat and the nun (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: He saw no reason why they couldn’t spend their time waiting to go home to their own realities doing something fun.

The Dance That We Do (ao3) - husbants

Summary: Prince Daniel of Howellot and Prince Philip of Lesterall share an evening together at the summer ball. Unbeknownst to them, this night will change the trajectory of their lives forever.

The Edge (ao3) - Japhan2024

Summary: Dan is restless about his future... but then he decides.

Three Doors Down (ao3) - scifi (orphan_account)

Summary: it’s their first night of the tour in separate rooms

tiny hands and lots of love (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil puts baby Evelyn to bed, so him and Dan can get some alone time. But just like her Da, she has to grab things no matter what - even if it means prying something as important as Phil's glasses from his face.

Lucky she's cute, and that her dads are both too distracted (and in love, with each other and her antics) to properly reprimand her.

to die by your side (is such a heavenly way to die) (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Despite no words being exchanged, they both know how the other is feeling, and that they are alike in their preparedness for what is about to happen. They understand each other so well that they can work in perfect tandem without issue. A connection so uniquely fundamental that it goes beyond communication as it is understood by the rest of the world. Something private, just for them—and soon, for Him.

We’re All Gay (ao3) - howell_slide

Summary: On some fuckass Tuesday in April 2024, Dan Howell dropped “gay” on the phandom.

You Mean So Much To Me - doomedhowell

Summary: Dan and Phil meet for the first time, 2009!phan.

[absolutefilthimsosorry]

<3 Yeah the timing for this worked for me but I remember being up late to watch the smosh funeral roast and needing to rewatch parts so I get it!

I agree it’s so hard to choose best bits! I do love the opening number too though! The first time I saw it I was expecting him to just walk on stage and start talking so that start had me captivated! Obviously they did musical numbers in tatinof and ii but dan going solo and doing a darker theme made me assume he wouldn’t for this. Happy to be proved wrong though! Freedom or fire was so fun live but it was also fun in the chat yesterday especially with Phil throwing fire stickers in all the time! And dan in his element on stage prancing around with the wig and gavel! I don’t know if there were any shows that didn’t have Phil in that madlibs, I wonder how many different secret societies Phil has started 😂 it’s such a fun silly little way to mention Phil while it still being the dan show! I hope one day giffing wad is safe bc I’d love a gif of the cubes falling! Truly an iconic moment!

Yeah I was a bit worried I’d lose focus during the actual show having seen it the other week but watching it with them in the chat and everyone posting on here was a whole new unique experience that I’m so happy so many of us got to experience! And yes! The post show in particular was so good! Definitely worth watching both for the slittening and how soft and emotional dan was!

Evie yesterday was so good!!! I hope you had an amazing time watching it! I’m still emotional. I hit post limit yesterday and honestly I probably will again today because I’m just buzzing! As someone seeing it for the first time, what was your favourite part of WAD??

Hey Astra! Glad to hear you’ve had a great time!! I was gonna send you an ask about the same thing lol! I thought of resting a little before doing that, but I’m glad you want to talk to me about it <33

I definitely need a rewatch after seeing this barely awake at the dead of the night. Buttt if you’re asking me rn, I would say, in no particular order: (SPOILERS AHEAD) 1. AI Dan, Don 2. the bubbly ben 3. the opening musical (I love it so so much! With the mental break down and everything!), 4. Freedom vs fire (so fun!) 5. Making up conspiracy (poor phil) 6. the cubes falling down (so cool). I don’t think you can make me choose lol

Honestly, the show is great. But it’s even greater seeing dnp in the chat, reacting and watching together. I love them doing their own little things for the pre and post show. Danny almost cry will always be my top fav thing. (I had planned to blast him with my love. We all did in the end :3) I’m glad I could witness the slittening >:)

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: I TRY TO GIVE DAN A HAIRCUT!!

Date video was published: 05/14/2021 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 441

Honestly I still rewatch this video every couple of weeks, so there aren’t going to be too many surprises. This Insta story from Dan that teased this video, from when he was doing a Q&A about mental health, still gets me. 🥺

0:00 - the start is immediately great with Dan already shaking his head

0:10 - “do not snip them next to my head” ...literally what he’s going to be doing 😂

0:17 - Phil is so smiley in the background already

0:27 - aww, Dan looks scared; Phil just looks amused

0:31 - somehow they’re getting even closer together with Phil standing then when they just sit next to each other

0:35 - why is THIS the example he’s using?! (why does Dan say that was an “okay job”... what.) why did they not reference the last time Phil cut Dan’s hair that they had talked about in the CAH Phan Edition video? where he actually did a decent job?

0:42 - the call-out of the eye contact! thanks Phil, now I don’t have to point that out

0:58 - how even. Phil’s face after he says “lubricant”...unnecessary 😳

1:04 - and then Dan shoving Phil away before his worry for Phil takes over his self preservation instinct and he yanks him back. because of course Dan’s going to help him

1:36 - love Dan’s face as he realizes exactly what Phil is going to say there

1:51 - I know Phil is bringing in the horror-movie element here like he loves to do but every time they reference how long it’s been I can’t handle it

1:59 - very quick jump-cut away from that gentle shoulder touch

2:08 - Dan looks so pleased by this

2:30 - really want to know where Dan was going with the “Philip Lester” there

2:34 - sometimes mirror eye contact is not enough

3:09 - “transitional period” I really feel like other delays of things later in 2021 caused this to be dragged out more...I’m not sure we’re out of it yet

3:21 - Phil letting Dan use his channel for book promo and helping him with it 🥺

3:46 - Dan with no reaction to Phil just grabbing his ears...Phil with lots of little touches in this one even when not actually doing the haircut

4:03 - the IMMEDIATE eye contact after that. “I’ve gotta be honest with you. Otherwise we’re not gonna get anywhere” truth from Phil

4:25 - Dan is on the nose there...that is exactly his hair from the Jamaica videos

4:30 - Dan’s hair looks very thick. and soft

5:03 - aww at Phil taking him seriously and reassuring him there

5:09 - Phil really just saying whatever goes through his head here

5:25 - “put a rubber on it” gonna blame Dan for Phil not being able to figure out what he’s saying here 😂

5:37 - Phil...Phil. 😳

5:44 - he did have a cape-thing but it didn’t work for cutting his own hair, so he must have thrown it away then. they just used a towel the previous time Phil cut Dan’s hair

6:00 - the sexy music addition and the logo edit there, lol

6:05 - so many Dan hyena laughs in this

6:21 - Dan actually jumped there! he seems actually a bit scared

6:27 - feel like we’re missing an inside joke there...they were too on the same page

6:53 - I bet something was said during that brief jump-cut hahaha

6:58 - still cannot believe they kept showing us shots of the bedroom of all the rooms. and those floating stairs

7:08 - ah, the start of the golden pig war! a great running gag from 2021

7:28 - Phil is proud of himself for this idea...poor Dan

7:51 - I always want vegetable crisps after watching this

8:04 - “don’t be mad” is not what you want to hear. Dan shouldn’t be too concerned; this is how it looked last time too. also, cannot get over the stacks of TATINOF cubes they’re using to hold the laptop and the drink/snacks

8:38 - “you do not get my AdSense” 😂

8:43 - Phil is so gentle when he’s touching his hair just a few seconds before this and so not here. also Dan’s “yelp review” there is great

8:53 - very very slightly better. personal space does not exist

9:00 - “that was surprisingly beautiful” okay sure Phil...judgement may be slightly clouded by something there

9:28 - Phil is really concentrating during this bit

9:34 - the “yeah” counter is so self-aware 😂 especially after the Stereo shows where we were all joking about Phil just showing he was listening (or not) by saying “yeah” a ton when Dan was speaking

10:01 - Phil seemed to be on a bit of his own mental health journey in 2021, with talking about it more and then eventually seeing a therapist for the first time as well

10:09 - Dan is just fully talking to Phil in the mirror at this point

10:21 - what is that Phil face after “completely naked” 👀 that he zoomed in on to make sure we didn’t miss too

10:35 - ahahaha, I love that Phil included the “reasons why Dan’s a fail” intro there

11:08 - Phil’s editing during this section is so fantastic

11:18 - he should have called it that! no maybe not, but that was a hilarious idea

11:29 - not over this moment, nope nope nope 😭

11:31 - Phil just saying “he’s talking about dick” what even

11:38 - Phil with the shocked face. yeah, the amount of bits in the book that seem like Dan just talking to Phil...

11:44 - the gentle touches here 🥺

11:50 - how long is Phil spending in the bathroom to deserve this call-out, lol

12:04 - oh god the square hair was so bad

12:07 - “Long Boi” is the famous duck that lived at the uni Phil went to  

12:10 - Dan is not ready there...Phil did stop right away of course. and then specifically asked “ready?” before he actually cut after that

12:26 - doing it neatly with the scissors is a lot more difficult than just using the electric trimmer-thing

12:34 - Phil does not seem to be doing this in any sort of logical order 😂

12:59 - “it’s much straighter than you” I love it

13:04 - why the asmr moment here

13:11 - “our life” and then can we talk about Dan tweeting this just a few weeks later 😭

13:24 - Phil just listening and with the soft smile

13:47 - “you don’t like giving other people control” seems like a giant understatement. and I don’t think Phil is much different with that

14:00 - from a distance that side looked alright...the close up is questionable

14:13 - 😂 oh dear. how did he even manage that

14:28 - Phil just running away

14:40 - “do we love it?” I bet there was some discussion and fixing of this off-camera

14:58 - another “don’t get mad”

15:00 - whyyyy the zoom-in as he says “6 inches” 

15:03 - Phil really just went for it there...he did not think about it at all

15:27 - that is definitely a look...Phil just agreeing with him

15:45 - wooo, that side is very short with a very severe line

15:58 - they must have cut out a bit of cleaning it up there

16:05 - Dan just looking so fond over this terrible haircut

16:27 - Dan immediately prepared with a prop for this story as Phil is telling it

16:58 - this moment kills me 😂 between how messy the hair is, the wine glass, the look on his face, and Phil screaming and dropping scissors in the background. could not have been planned better

17:10 - LMAO alrighty then

17:35 - they really should have just left out the close-cup

17:51 - so the part Phil didn’t really cut hahaha

18:07 - the softest “thanks Phil” 🥺

18:11 - Dan was not expecting Phil to get this edited and up so quickly I guess

18:26 - the first time I watched this I could not believe what was happening from here through the end. still feels a bit like a fever dream

18:33 - Phil looking so fond and immediately coming closer

18:42 - and then using a little slap of all things to break the too-positive tension. what even.

18:44 - and then them both immediately laughing

18:55 - ooo the mystery. he was getting ready for the YouTube pride thing at this point. we still don’t know what was supposed to come after that 🙁

19:14 - Phil looks like he had had a haircut too between filming and editing...would like to see some filmed clips of that

19:21 - and this bit made me cry the first time I watched. and still occasionally 😭

19:34 - supportive Phil

19:55 - “it’s too late now” because this has been uploaded and more because their life is already just shared

19:56 - I wonder if Phil had Dan review the rest of the video as usual and then tacked this on just before uploading. and then somehow had to get him to watch the whole thing again after that. Dan’s comment on the video (that Phil liked) is also just so much 🥺

Probably my favorite video of 2021. I mean...it is everything. It’s definitely the video I currently rewatch the most.

It was uploaded just four days before YWGTTN was released. Dan was doing tons promo around this time, which Phil was apparently helping with. I honestly still can’t believe Dan let Phil cut his hair before he was on camera SO MUCH for that promo. Phil’s dizziness issue had also started happening around or shortly before this time, as he was already having scans for that (1, 2) in mid-May.

[angelmichelangelo]

Wait when did you start watching Dan and Phil? I feel like you’ve been around for a while ahaha

i’ve always been aware of their existence on the internet - back during the 2011/2012 era i had a friend in high school that watched their videos, talked about them all the time and actually met dan one time just randomly in public on a day i ended up cancelling plans to go with her (terrifying. 2012 dan meeting 13 year old me.) but other than watching their videos unbothered over the years i didn’t really “get into them” until 2016 literally i think the day after tatinof ended for good and then i was hit with my first gamingmas and i just... never ever stopped lmao. it was also during when i got my first ever job and i would spend my lunch hours just cramming as much previous content as i possibly could to catch up haha

but i didn’t really use my tumblr until some time in 2017 so in comparison to a lot of people, i haven’t been here long at all!

also this is really random but i remember seeing a screenshot of a tweet dan made in 2014 about him accidentally rolling his office chair over his phone and at the time everyone was posting it everywhere because people found it funny and i used to get so mad 💀 like stfu dan you’re so stupid and now i’m like. that’s my baby boy and he’s still stupid 🥰

[alittledizzy]

Hi, Mandy! The podcast with Phil is up! When you have time to listen to it, do you think, you could share some of your thoughts with us? Maybe even do some time stamps with commentary? Like, of course no pressure, but it would be awesome if you decide to express your opinion on the matter ;))) Have a nice day 🌷

My main thought: I love how much more comfortable Phil is talking about his anxiety and things that make/made him anxious now. I’ve never heard him dig in quite so much on how his brain works with insecurities and how intense he can be about editing and how that can cause him to mentally spiral with anxiety. 

Besides that, I don’t think he said much here we didn’t already know, but I sure as heck enjoyed listening to him say it all again. 

Timestamps!

2:30 - Phil would have shown up in pajamas if he’d known it was for a podcast. 2:37 - Interviewer asks Phil when he first realizes he was creative. “I think I just came out of the womb and did jazz hands in the hospital.” 3:00 - His parents gave him a video camera for Christmas when he was eight and he made little friends with his friends. He talks about the horror film he and his friends made when they were ten (that he’s made youtube videos about). He learned to edit then by pausing a video cassette tape and putting the footage in and editing in real time, before he could do it on a computer. He doesn’t know where that creativity came from, but he’s been making videos as long as he’s been able to make videos. 3:51 - He used to watch movies hundreds of times. He wore out the Gremlins VHS tape. He wanted to make things like that, or his own version of that entertainment. 4:05 - Gizmo the Gremlin was his mentor. No, he didn’t have a mentor, but he’s thankful to his parents for letting him do it. If he’d done his homework they’d just say, “Go for it. I’ll get you a video camera if you want to make videos.” He acknowledges that not everyone had that means of doing it, though now everyone has a phone and anyone can do it if they wanted to with a phone recording. 4:40 - When he was young his family was mostly his audience, though they let him play the horror film he made when he was ten at school. “I think having that audience reaction, I was like oh people are actually laughing and enjoying it.” 5:20 - He started youtube because he was impressed by the fact that anyone, anywhere can make something and have the chance to broadcast yourself. He saw people like Smosh and LonelyGirl15. He liked watching people’s lives all over the world. 6:01 - He got two comments on his first video and couldn’t believe it. One from Australia and one ‘somewhere else’ saw it and cared. 6:39 - He had imposter syndrome at the first Vidcon he went to. He went into a party and thought he shouldn’t be in the same room as people like Smosh. It was a learning experience. 6:58 - He found it crazy that a hundred people would come to a panel or meet and greet to see him and it made him feel like this was real, it was really happening. 7:32 - The interviewer asks him how he’s maintained trust with the audience and his answer is, “You’d have to ask the audience, they’re the ones that are still watching. 7:40 - He thinks being himself in his videos has help, he hasn’t had the need to reinvent himself or become somebody else. He feels like his audience are more friends than fans. 8:26 - "You have your long term collaborator, Dan Howell-” “Yes.” 8:27 - He finds it refreshing to collaborate, especially in comedy videos. He thinks he works well in an improvisation style environment, like on the gaming channel. It helps to have someone to laugh and have comedy banter with. It also helps to have someone else with creative ideas so you aren’t in your own head all the time. 9:20 - The interviewer asks about the transition from youtube to the stage shows. It was a big leap - they had ten crew members and it was a learning curve. He’s quite a shy person so going on stage in front of 2000 people was far out of his comfort zone compared to making videos alone. “It was kind of… fighting off my anxiety and thinking, I can do this, these people are here to see me for a reason.” 10:33 - They interviewed potential crew members (about a five minute interview) and they needed to be other creative people and understand the internet. They needed people who understood what they were making, and also wanted people that had a sense of humor and knew how to have a laugh. 11:30 - Specifically talking about TATINOF: they were trying to turn everything people loved about their youtube videos into a stage show, with a narrative flowing through the whole thing. They wanted it to be bigger than anything anyone had seen from youtubers before. 12:12 - You will not be seeing Phil on Strictly any time soon. 12:45 - TATINOF was about 70% scripted but it got changed up based on what the audience were like or what the reactions were. American found different jokes funny than Sweden and they learned to change and mold it. 13:09 - During TATINOF learned he can actually do scripted stuff, because there were scripted sections. He used to say he can’t act but he thinks he did okay with the scripted stuff in TATINOF. 13:52 - Section about the Radio 1 show. It started with him and Dan collaborating as youtubers with Radio 1, and the BBC decided to give them a show. He specifically says that Youtube say how many good comments and views youtube videos get, and that’s how the show came about. It started freelance and then they got the main show. 14:40 - With the radio show, because it’s live you really have to be aware of what you’re saying. There’s an art to working the desk with the music in the background and when to dip it down. They were learning on the go and it was terrifying. For the first three months he’d wake up in the middle of the night with night sweats and have nightmares about saying something wrong. He had panic dreams about the radio, but they got into a flow and he thinks it was an entertaining and innovative radio show. He always likes something that pushes the boundaries of the technology. 15:25 - He shades how 'old school’ the radio is because they had to play music videos off of dvds. If a dvd skipped or broke then the show would just go off air and they’d have to improvise. It was good preparation for doing stuff on stage. 15:55 - He talks about the stage show in America that lost power and improvising it in an unplugged way. He was relieved when people were happy with it. 16:38 - He thinks there are things traditional media could take from digital media: free flowing, less restrictions. On the radio ideas had to go through about ten processes. “By the time you’ve gone through these ten steps of checking, the fun of the creativity is gone about. It’s not about breaking the rules, it’s about trying to be more improvisational and spontaneous when you can. Not everything needs signing off by five people before you tell a joke.” 27:49 - He likes that youtube is more fresh and reactive to pop culture. It feels fresher than television - cites people doing the floss dance on Netflix shows now. It was funny a year ago, and it was written a year ago, but it’s not as funny now. 18:35 - The positive to traditional media is more people bringing experienced voices to the table helping you develop something. Youtubers know a few things instinctively but someone that’s been a scriptwriter for ten years can completely blow your mind. 19:25 - He would like to think the main thing his audience values is authenticity, but he actually thinks it is accessibility that they value more. He’s not like a movie or pop star. 20:14 - He’s fourteen years in and still tries to think of videos that would make him laugh or he wants to watch, but he’s trying to branch out some this year. “Trying new things.” He doesn’t think there’s any shame in seeing someone else’s video and thinking of doing his own take on that. 21:20 - He looks to Safiya Nygard for inspiration - he likes that there’s so much research and planning in her videos. Even if it’s a silly video she has all the facts and goes to all the videos. He got to meet her the last Vidcon and it was nice to hang out with her. 21:56 - He’s inspired by traditional media, too. For a long time it was Scot Pilgrim vs. the World, he used to think if he was going to make a video that was it. He starts talking about editing here and goes in pretty hard on what editing means to him over the next few minutes. 22:50 - He’s good at suspending his disbelief. It’s a good sign if you’re lost in a world. When he saw 1917, he forgot he was in the cinema. 23:13 - “It’s more when I’m watching my own videos, I can’t - I find it really hard to watch it as a viewer. I find I’m so critical of myself and I just see the edits and I’m just like, oh that could be different, that could be different. And even if after I’ve uploaded it I’ll get a text from my friend and they’re like 'oh that was so funny’ but in my head I’m like oh but I could have cut two seconds off that bit. So I think I should learn, and other people should learn, not to be so critical of yourself. Because there can be a point where - I made a video in December and I was looking back at the footage and I was like, I can’t upload this, this isn’t  - this isn’t good enough. But then I just persevered with the editing and it turned out to be really funny. But that self doubt was creeping in like, people aren’t gonna watch this, people aren’t gonna like this. So I need to work on that a bit and think - if people are enjoying my videos I should be able to enjoy them as well.”24:11 - It’s hard not to be numbers obsessed because youtube tells you as soon as you sign in what’s performing well and not. You don’t want to get that feeling when you first log in to your channel, and you can’t really avoid it. “You’ve got to see it as a learning thing rather than an everybody hates me thing.” 25:42 - Once a video is out in the world, he lets it go. He doesn’t obsess over it. He’s more critical in the editing process and actually pressing go rather than after the fact. 26:08 - He’s particularly proud of his coming out video because of the unexpected reaction. The video production wasn’t incredible but he’s proud of the message. 26:40 - They ask him how he’d have felt in 2006 knowing where he’s at now. “No. I’d probably run away.” 26:47 - “I was so shy and anxious, I couldn’t even like… phone for a hairdressers appointment. I was that nervous about public interaction and talking and stuff like that. So the fact that I’ve got to this level now where I can go on stage or talk on a panel it’s just like - it’s kind of mindblowing looking back at where I was. I’m proud of myself for that.” 27:15 - He’s ready to sink his teeth into a big new project, to do something new that’s very Phil and his own thing. He’s obsessed with interactivity. He was making interactive videos ten years ago with youtube annotations and he thinks now broadcasters and traditional media is more accepting of that technology and narrative structure. 28:15 - He pitched one interactive thing that didn’t work out. He shouts out Complex and also Markiplier’s interactive youtube original. 29:02 - It’s good to get feedback on an idea that’s rejected. It would be weird if everyone said yes all the time. He goes a bit in depth here on potential reasons why a project may be rejected and not taking it as an attack or a big negative thing. 30:33 - If he made a film he’d write it, not be the star of it. He’s excited to see where that creative process goes. He’s written a few short stories and tried a long form script. He’s a control freak so he won’t release it until it’s perfect. 31:03 - He sees Youtube as his work, and scripting and pitches as a hobby. He’s not under a deadline with writing and can enjoy free flowing creativity, unlike youtube where he needs to make a video every week. 32:00 - Discussion about the illustrator they had for TABINOF, who worked on The Mighty Boosh.33:00 - When ask him for one thing he’s inspired by at the moment, he says Bandersnatch and talks about it a bit. He still has Scott Pilgrim and Gremlins in his heart, though. “Gizmo’s the one.”

[huphilpuffs]

already seen all of the parties

summary: Dan gets home from London pride.  word count: 1.4k rating: t warnings: food a/n: Big thanks to @plinthofmylife for the beta read!

ao3 link

It’s late when Dan gets home.

His curls are messy from the wind. Some of the sequins have fallen from his jacket, probably lost in the sea of glitter littering London streets. The sign he left with this morning is still clutched in his hand.

Phil makes a note to add it to their collection of props from their proudest moments. This certainly fits in.

He bounces to his feet, taking the sign so Dan can lean against the wall to toe off his shoes. He has a bag in his other hand, with a rainbow printed on it and pamphlets sticking out the top. Dan will probably read them in the coming days. That’s part of his particular breed of activism. 

For now, though, he just wiggles his toes against the hardwood floor, shoves a hand under his lapel and says, “Fuck, blazers really aren’t meant to be worn without undershirts.”

Phil laughs, the choked kind that catches him by surprise. “Oh?” he says. “Well, besides chafed nips, how was it?”

Dan’s smile goes soft and dreamy at that. He rests his head against the wall and his eyes flutter closed like they do when he’s content. 

“It was bloody amazing,” he says. “You’re gonna have to hear me talk about it for weeks now. Fair warning.”

They’re still standing by the door. Phil’s wearing nothing but pants and mix-matched socks. Dan’s hand is still resting on his own nipple.

Phil’s grinning as he says, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

---

Dan films an insta story once he’s taken his jacket off. 

Phil sits on their bed, legs tucked under him. The sign and bag of pride goodies have stayed in the lounge to be dealt with tomorrow. Here, it’s just Dan smiling at the camera and talking about the parade and the quiet pride that’s been bursting in Phil’s chest all day. 

Dan drops the jacket to the floor as he posts the video. Phil decides he should ask if that should be added to their collection of important keepsakes too. Later.

Practicalities can all be dealt with later.

Dan tosses his phone onto the bed. His hand skims down his own chest, gaze dropping. “My nipples didn’t actually chafed,” he says.

“Too bad,” says Phil. “Now I can’t kiss them better.”

“Oi!” Dan laughs. Phil knows that, had he still been holding his phone, it would have come flying in his direction. “As if you won’t kiss them anyway, Mr. Nip Kink.”

Phil feels his whole face break into a smile. It’s been doing that a lot today, mostly staring at his phone, at the endless collection of pictures he’s been staring at and the odd text Dan would send when he had a second.

All those anomalous parts of their day are starting to fade, though, so Phil just sticks out his tongue and says, “Don’t kinkshame me.”

---

Dan goes and gets a snack.

Phil expects him to want to sink into bed afterwards, exhausted from hours of walking and socializing, but he just hops up onto the kitchen island and rambles as he nibbles on a chocolate chip cookie. Phil’s pretty sure he’s said the word rainbow about three times in the last sentence. 

It’s lovely. 

He grabs a cookie for himself, too, and listens to every word Dan says. 

---

“I thought you might stay out later,” says Phil.

They’re both sitting on the counter now. They’ve eaten way too many cookies. There’s crumbs all over Phil’s laugh and some at the corners of Dan’s mouth and a glass of milk sitting between them. 

Some of the crumbs drop as Dan’s mouth quirks into a crooked smile. “Oh?”

Phil shrugs. “I don’t know. I figured people might have invited you out afterwards to go, like, clubbing or something,” he says. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I know,” says Dan. “People did. I didn’t really wanna go, though. Would have been too much people-ing for one day, I reckon.”

Phil hums, taking another bite of his cookie. He doesn’t need to say he understands. Dan knows that’s part of the reason Phil opted not to go at all. 

They eat in silence for a moment. Dan downs half their glass of milk, then cringes at the cookie crumbs Phil knows are floating in it. On another day, he might hear a rant about how it’s cruel that cookies are best with milk but then ruin the milk with all their soggy crumbs. 

Today, Dan just knocks their feet together. 

“I wouldn’t have had anyone to dance with anyway,” he says.

“Huh?”

“Had I gone clubbing,” says Dan. “My boyfriend decided to stay home.”

Phil almost asks if it bothers Dan, as though they haven’t discussed Phil’s choice not to go countless times since Dan first decided he would be marching, but Dan’s smudging a clumsy kiss to his cheek before he can.

And then he hops off the counter.

---

Dan has music playing and the lights dimmed before Phil’s brain even has the chance to catch up.

“What are you doing?” he asks. 

Dan’s standing in the middle of the kitchen by then, bouncing on his toes, reaching out to skim his fingers along the sides of Phil’s thighs. A curl has fallen against the middle of his forehead. He’s wearing just his pants now, too. He’s still glowing like he was when he was wearing a skeleton made of sequins in the middle of London.

“Wanna dance with you,” he says, smiling so wide both his dimples pop.

He tugs Phil off the counter and sets his phone down where they’d been sitting. His one hand grips Phil’s hip as he reaches past him to clumsily change the music to something else. Phil turns just in time to watch him search for pride and choose the first playlist that shows up.

The first song is Britney Spears. Phil muffles his laugh against Dan’s bare shoulder.

Dan wraps his arms around Phil’s waist and breathes a quiet “Perfect,” against his hair.

---

They dance for a long time.

All clumsy steps and awkward hip movements to fast songs, and stumbling over each other’s toes when slow ones played. This isn’t a skill Phil’s ever really had to learn, besides the very choreographed and highly practiced dance from TATINOF. 

That wasn’t like this. It wasn’t Dan’s naked chest pressed against his. It wasn’t Phil’s hands draped across the back of his neck. It wasn’t happy smiles and giddy giggles and the warm wash of Dan’s breath against his ear. 

“I want to go with you one day,” he whispers.

Phil smiles, and stumbles when he momentarily forgets they’re slow dancing right now. “To pride?”

Dan hums. Phil feels the rumble of it against his body. 

“I know this year is about like, finding new boundaries and like, me exploring this community in a way you already have but I wanna go with you one day.” He smiles, pressing it right against the high of Phil’s cheekbone. “It was so great. I want to share it with you.”

The song changes to something faster. They keep swaying slowly. 

“Tell me more about it,” says Phil.

“Everyone was so happy,” says Dan. There’s no hesitation. He’s not whispering anymore. “There were rainbows bloody everywhere. You’d love it, colour addict that you are.”

“Yeah?”

Dan hums, quiet and content. “Yeah,” he says. “I got to meet some of the kids that work with Mermaids, too. They were so cute. I just want to protect them from the world, you know?”

Phil smiles. “Yeah,” he repeats. “We should donate.”

“We should,” says Dan. He draws back a bit, just enough to catch Phil’s gaze. “So many of our fans were there, too. They’re so proud of us. I was scared, you know? But they’re all so happy for us and I just–” He stops, breathing to the beat of the music. “I’m so happy right now.”

Phil doesn’t really have anything to say to that. All possible responses have been used over the last few weeks, during loud birthday photoshoots and quiet nights in bed and silent text messages. 

So he kisses Dan, instead.

---

It doesn’t go any further than kissing.

Dan’s post-pride high starts to fade shortly after his back hits the mattress and his head lands on the pillow. His touch gets softer, his kisses get slower, and Phil just follows his pace because today’s been Dan’s day. 

They curl up on top of the duvet afterwards. It’s probably too hot in London to cuddle, but Phil does anyway, pressing himself against Dan’s back and holding on tight.

Dan falls asleep first.

Phil mumbles a quiet, “I’m proud of you,” against his shoulder before he falls asleep, too.

[demonphannie]

jas ,,,, pls,,,,, good liveshows as in the ones that i can play in the background?? chill liveshows that are so soft and wholesome. i luv my babies please send those linkS

ahhh i think the best liveshows were in 2015/2016 so here are some i think deserve rewatching~~~

dan’s halloween live in 2014

the live where they announced they were going to japan! (but also it’s mainly a dan liveshow n he’s really cute n sweet n i miss him)

a rare joint live from 2015~~ok this is really pinnacle dan and phil n they had recently come back from japan n louise calls during it n wow so soft n sweet

this one dan is really rambly n says there’s nothing wrong with anal sex a good watch 10/10

one of my face phil lives ;~; he’s just rambling about whatever but it really has some chill lofi study beats feelings to it

MY FAVORITE DAN LIVE EVER.. august 25th 2015 was just *chefs kiss*

i just love all phil’s liveshows but this one was so calm.. thank u mister lester

2015 phil in glasses,, what more can i say

the infamous joint october 19th 2015 live..

there is something about phil n january n a black jumper that just gets me going

i swear dan has never been more soft than in this moment.. we didn’t deserve:(

phil lester on leap day? must be lucky

varsity star teen heartthrob daniel howell

the joint live while touring tatinof in america..when they spilled the milkshake:( also the same set as that one undertale video so it’s just good vibes

another phil live but cute dan story at the beginning too:(

joint live at the end of 2016 so tatinof is over n they are cozy

that is it for now.. i also made all of these videos into a playlist if you just want to watch them back to back.. very calming if i do say so myself..

[autumn-in-phandom]

The post tour liveshows are always on the top of my “had a bad day/need to smile” playlist. They were so chill and genuine in them? It just felt real and you can sense their happiness. Miss them :((

I really should rewatch more liveshows and that sounds like a great place to start! I remember not really liking joint liveshows much in 2017 after they moved. There was an air of awkwardness there that I didn’t feel when back-watching the TATINOF era ones. But the II era ones were lovely (right before, during and after tour). What I wouldn’t give for a 2019 joint liveshow. Of course I’d love a solo Dan one too. I’ve entirely given up on Phil liveshows, I think that’s what the Q&As, members updates and Instagram stories are for.

[ingydar-phan]

Happy birthday Dan. I found you at a very, very low point in my life. It’s funny, because that point was only a few months ago. March 3rd. March 3rd. Jesus Christ. I was dealing with severe bullying, depression, hopelessness, isolation, gender dysphoria (i have been out/socially transitioned for like 5 years), and most of all, loneliness. I had a circle of about 3 friends who i talked to regularly, but only 1 i even saw in person more than once per year. Then, two of those 3 people began having relationship issues and were on the verge of breaking up. I felt like i was a bother, a burden to their already existing issues. Every single day I’d walk into school, put my headphones on, and not talk to a single person. I’d read, sleep, listen to music, dissociate, and sleep some more throughout the day just to distract myself from everything. From class, from parents, from the outside, everything. I fully and truly believed everyone besides those 3 people hated me. They found me disgusting, annoying, taking up space, and simply didn’t want me there. I think that is true to an extent, but i don’t like how i was just letting that be how it is. My dad was genuinely hopeless, he told me to just ride it out and if i could try to be just a little bit normal-er, maybe i wouldn’t be ignored by every person every day. That didn’t work. Instead, i decided to do some self work. Or rather, my dad stopped intruding on my free time which allowed me to still be awake and do things i wanted to do in peace. I thought, “Dan and Phil….those two emo guys with the cat whiskers….i have such a vague memory of a friend mentioning them or scrolling across a post of them, who even are they?”. I typed into the YouTube search bar “Dan and Phil”. A gaming channel? Are these people streamers? Oh god (i did not know you were one of us 🏳️‍🌈….or british…..). I watched one video. Now, ACCORDING TO YOUTUBE HISTORY, i somehow watched What Dan And Phil Text Each Other 4 as my first video. Not even the gaming channel, i don’t know how this happened maybe YouTube is lying to me. Whatever. Ok so which ones Dan and which ones Phil? Why do they look SO different? They’re British? I started watching Dan and Phil edits on TikTok. Ok, i know who you are, i get the vibes. Oh, coming out timeline? Gaming channel timeline and hiatus? Reacting to PINOF? On March 13, i watched Basically I’m Gay and Coming Out To You. It took me an entire month from then to watch Why I Quit YouTube. By late April, i was in it. I was watching Dan or Phil every day. Before, during, and/or after school. Since then, I’ve purchased YWGTTN (limited edition signed updated paperback). It was 38 fucking dollars in USD but it was worth it. I also now own TATINOF and DAPGO, one of which is signed by Phil, i bought second hand. So yes, now this is my new thing. But you know what else? I was getting happier. I was going to more concerts. I was doing my schoolwork, or at least trying to. I was reading!!!! I’ve since finished The Secret History. I made a friend; reconnected with an old childhood friend and started eating lunch together and hanging out and having shared trauma dump sessions, and we are so so close now. My two friends broke up, but it’s ok. I’m best friends with one of them and he’s so much better off, and the other and i are still casual friends!! I value them both for the multiple years I’ve known them. I’ve taken family vacations and done religious holidays with genuine care while getting to reconnect with my family. I’ve very passionately finished acting in a musical that I’ve put so much care into for about 5 months. I’m graduating tomorrow!!! And me and my close friend will be going to a concert tomorrow night afterwards, and I’m going to have a great summer where i see my close friend who i haven’t seen IRL since March of 2023. I’m getting closer with my dad and seeing a new therapist. I am having medical problems as of right now, but i would 100% be lying in bed crying and skipping graduation had i not found a reason to enjoy my days.

Did i just take one sentence referencing Dan to write a whole autobiography on tumblr? Yes, but also no. Dan and Phil are real people. They really do rescue pigeons named Steve and getting 10 sauces for their pizza and say hi across the city with binoculars. But they also genuinely have an impact on people, and they see that, and they LIKE to see that. I don’t think Dan will see this post. But I’m making it anyway. For me.

I love Dan so much. I cried twice while watching We’re All Doomed in my kitchen. I have actively watched Dan and Phil videos while crying at school. Once, in my bedroom, i was having a panic attack. I had an overwhelming rush of thoughts around 10 or 11 at night about how worthless i am and how terrible everything was going. I opened my tiktok, and there was THE edit that saved me. It was a video of fetus Dan on YouNow talking about his dream home. And then it was cutting back and forth to the Phouse. Then, Dans hopeful monologue in Basically I’m Gay. Finally, Dans hopeful monologue in We’re All Doomed. All of this in a softly shaky screen with sad music behind it. I cried a lot. This aspect of my life means so much to me. I think about the Halloween 2023 baking video at least 5 times a day (and sister Daniel’s….uhm….legs…). I am still so mad i did not buy the satanic Craft shirts. I just rewatched Dans interview last year with Anthony Padilla just because of how goddamn much I’m obsessed with that angle of Dan with his cute chin and cheeks and fucking dimple. I think about Dans bluntness in his defined-self and truly feel inspired to be like him. I look at his change over the years, his comfortability in his body, seeing that his face and neck are shaped like my face and neck, and he’s fucking beautiful. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in my weight if not for Dan Howell, and i mean that so insanely sincerely. I read Dans book whenever I’m feeling hopeless and need a soft sexy British man to tell me the scientific reasoning behind why i feel this way and to assure me he’s felt worse. I’m so serious when i say i cannot imagine a day of my life without Dan and Phil. I truly don’t understand how i lived before or how I’d expect to live without it. “Live”, in the sense of find a way of life, not as in ��stay alive.” I can’t imagine a day without those big brown boba eyes and that cute dimple and mainly that calming voice that reminds me someone else has felt this way. That reminds me love is possible. That reminds me i have so much ahead of me, so much life and love and joy.

Phil’s birthday stream may be my favorite piece of Dan and Phil media, or at least one of them. I find it so comforting and wholesome and beautiful and hilarious. I have such high hopes for Dans birthday stream. Until then, I’ll be working on my long-awaited (still very very unfinished) 2009!Dan and Phil art piece within my art initiative (pinned on my profile) (just for funsies, no money or anything involved). I’m going to sit there at 3pm (my time) and watch with a huge smile on my face to see my amazing dads spend the time of their lives being sexy and old and happy and disgustingly homosexual while i just embrace all you’ve done for me.

Happy birthday Dan

@danielhowell

[tapdancingeggs]

Dan and Phil: Interactive Introverts - A Summary (Dallas, TX show)

- first and foremost, SO. MANY. CAT WHISKERS.

- i made some lovely friends in the merch line and we fangirled about supernatural, harry potter, and percy jackson

- it took about 45 mins to get merch, but there was plenty of stuff left!! (i got two tshirts and a poster)

- before the show they played kpop

- g note

- an intro montage reminiscent of TATINOF

- dan and phil can’t survive texas heat (they melted on the walk from the tour bus to the venue; phil has spf 1000 sunscreen)

- phil said y’all

- “what dan and phil WON’T do during the show”

- strip tease

- Truth Bombs ft sound button

- dan doesn’t like phil’s explosion and squat combination

- phil would win a medal from an imaginary sport if it was killing houseplants, tripping over nothing, or professional daddying (???)

- “hello internet. my name is [dan]”

- (collective air brackets)

- DaNgEr MeN aT wOrK

- the flap™

- THE SIMULATION

- phil bought the Unicorn Death Frappe, did NOT sell his soul to satan, and cried himself to sleep while watching Fletnix bc he didn’t have a corgi

- dan died wearing a sloth-bear suit at a furry rave

- mob mentality is Bad

- We Are Carol.

- patch is the best™ dog

- Dan: “Phil has three balls”

- in a glass jar in a locked metal box under dan’s bed is a long sheet of paper with “LADYDOOR FURSUIT CEREAL”

- Phil: “tear and share”

- the great survey

- “the most dangerous thing to ever occur on stage... in texas... at interactive introverts” (to be continued after the break)

- during the intermission they played “the final countdown” and i have never seen so many teenagers head banging in sync all at once

- dan got strapped to a spinning target while phil launched various projectiles at him

- Wholesome Howell and Dark Phil

- Phil: “what if it’s horse milk? or rat milk? or milk from the person who’s giving you the milk?”

- we would all like to drown in a sea of Tiny Happy Puppies

- Dan: “fire me sun daddy”

- The Friendship Test (with electroshocks!!)

- “is it dan, phil, or a rat!”

- phil is the better friend and dan got shocked so hard he “destroyed” the lighting system

- casual talk and texas bants™

- WE WOULD ALL WATCH YOUR ANIME CHANNEL, LEO

- and kay, if you’re out there, be my friend

- synchronized YEEE

- dan made a supernatural reference

- Interactive Introverts Awards (i want to say they called it “monumental i awards, but i honestly can’t remember)

- grumpy parents lol

- a video of a dog running through the snow

- PHIL’S DISS TRACK

- plus two curse words??? (bitch and shit)

- dan played the piano and sang (phil joined in for a little duet)

- “we’re interactive introverts” *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

- ending with the best, sappiest song ever (lowkey teared up)

i totally didn’t write down everything they did, so i’ll probably revisit this post later to add on.

this was honestly one of the best nights of my life, and i’m so thankful i got to see these two dorks live 😊❤️

please add anything you want from your show experience!!

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Age Regression Masterlist

A Little Fight - midnightskydan-archive

Summary: In which Phil slips at an inconvenient time and his daddy doesn’t notice.

A Little Vacation (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: Finally having a week all to himself, Dan is relieved. He’s been holding off a certain side of him that he isn’t sure how to manage with Phil around. While Phil’s with his family, Dan can finally regress for longer than a few hours on his own.

Daddy, I Need You - midnightskydan-archive

Summary: it’s 2012 and Dan and Phil aren’t on very good terms but Dan goes into little space and really needs his daddy

Flower Band-Aids (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: In which Dan relapses, and, once he realizes what he’s done, gets so scared he slips and regresses.

I'll Look After You (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: prompt: could you do a 2009!phan fic where dan is a new little and gets embarrassed when he asks phil to help him do something?? and phil just smiles and helps him and tells him not to worry ahh

Little Beach Trip (ao3) - SimplyUndead

Summary: "I didn’t mean to ruin our day, Daddy,“ he said, looking up at Phil, placing a kiss on his chin. "I was just really hot, I think. And tired.”

“I know, baby,” Phil said softly, bringing his hand to Dan’s face, tracing a thumb over the boy’s lips. “I hated to spank you, but you needed it. I didn’t want you to be so fussy all day.”

Little Love (ao3) - MaeTaurus

Summary: Dan is doing a liveshow and slips into his little headspace. (PROMPT)

Llama Legs (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: After a short break, Dan and Phil are about to begin the next arm of their breakout international tour, TATINOF. The problem is, all good little boys have to have some form of entertainment during their break - and Dan has just began exploring his little-space. What happens when Dan doesn't listen to Phil and decides not to use the toilet before beginning a show, leading to a regression?

Papa Bear (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: prompt: yo could u write a little!phil and daddy!dan but instead of calling him daddy he calls him papa? it might sound gross but it’s my fav concept, it sounds so much more pure than daddy does. the kink dd/lg community kinda ruined the word daddy for me. sooo yeah jus some good ol nonsexual lil space w papa instead of daddy :’) ignore this ask if you feel uncomfy, also you don’t have to write this if you don’t want to

Phil Loves His Boyfriend, Especially When He's Little (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: When Dan's big, he's counting calories and screaming when attached to a feeding tube. When he's little, he loves crisps and chocolate but his favourite food is pizza.

Safe & Sound (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: prompt: idea? dan and phil went out and receive some gay bashing and dan goes into headspace for being shouted at and goes into a weird shock thing and he's quiet and barely responsive to why phil says and phil has to take him home and try and comfort him to get him to talk ?

Scary Movie (ao3) - xDeathMelodiesx

Summary: Phil slips into little space while watching The Evil Dead and gets scared. Dan comforts him with a bath and snuggles.

(TW) Seized (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: It started out as a fun day at the park but it ended in terror. Phil takes his little Dan to the park and while Phil is not looking, Dan suddenly gets kidnapped. What will happen to Dan? Will Phil ever see his boyfriend again? Did Phil have something to do with it?

Skipping (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: prompt: okay can you please please write something with phil slipping into little space in school and dan doesn’t know about it so he skips class and hides in the library and watches cartoons on his phone and dans worries because phil never skips class unless something is really wrong

Wanted My Bear & You (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: It's 2012, Dan's not sure he and Phil are on good terms, and Dan regresses. Only all of the things he uses when he's small are in Phil's room.

Won't Have It Any Other Way (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan and Phil have a meeting. Dan’s liveshow was that night. The only problem, Dan needs to regress. He pushes it off and then has to deal with the consequences.

[adorkablephil]

Fic: The Flower Boy

Title: The Flower Boy Rating: G Summary: Nothing is AU … except that Dan and Phil have been in each other’s dreams since childhood (takes place before and during TATINOF) Word Count: 1,330 Author’s Note: This is a brief Dan POV of my multi-chapter fic “Imaginary Friends,” since some readers had requested it. If the basic concepts in this little one-shot intrigue you, I would encourage you to read the longer story (which is written in a much different style) from Phil’s POV, because it is a much more detailed and, in my opinion, more beautiful telling of the story told so briefly here from Dan’s POV. Also on AO3

The Flower Boy

Dan knew from a very young age whom he was going to marry. He didn't know the boy's name, or where he lived, but he knew the boy's heart as well as he knew his own, and he knew one day they would find each other and stay together forever. He didn’t really understand the concept of marriage very well at that age, but he knew it meant being with your very best friend forever, and he knew that was what they were going to do.

They’d been in each other’s dreams his entire life, as long as he could remember, and he loved the flower boy more than he loved his parents, more than he thought he could ever love anyone else in the world. They were meant for each other. They were part of each other. They were one.

That was why Dan was so confused when he first met Phil Lester, because he immediately felt that same kind of connection, and he found himself falling in love for the second time in his life.

It seemed like such a terrible betrayal of that first love, that love which continued and would never end, could never end. How could he love two people at the same time with the same intensity? How could he feel such a bond with someone new after all these years of ultimate connection with his dreaming flower boy?

He desperately fought his feelings for Phil from that first day at Manchester Piccadilly. He refused to betray that first love, his love for the flower boy of his dreams, the boy who had been with him through everything, through his entire life … the boy who understood him like no one else.

And yet … there was Phil.

Dan’s internal conflict was easier to bear when they lived far apart. He and Phil could be good friends—close friends, best friends, friends who visited each other often—without Dan feeling that weighty sense of guilt. But when they began sharing a flat, it was much more difficult.

Every time he and his beloved flower boy were together in their dreams, he tried to hide his emotional turmoil, and in the dreams it was not that difficult, because in the dreams he and the other boy—a young man now, but he still thought of him as the flower boy of his childhood, the boy who seemed always to cause flowers to grow wherever he went, wherever he touched—became one again. Their connection had only grown stronger over the years, and so Dan would not do anything to endanger something as precious as their love for each other.

And yet … there was Phil.

Dan’s struggle became even more difficult when the TATINOF tour began, because he and Phil agreed that the bed was large enough for two, and neither of them was homophobic enough to be embarrassed to share a bed with another man who also happened to be his best friend.

But how could Dan have two best friends? Surely his dreaming flower boy was still his best friend. He always had been, for Dan’s entire life. He always would be. Someday they would find each other in the real world and be together forever. He had never doubted it, and he did not doubt it now.

Unfortunately, sharing the bed on the tour bus became more complicated when Dan’s dreams grew more romantic and, eventually, more sexual. His relationship with his flower boy, now his dream lover, had become more intense, more intimate, and their connection had become stronger than ever before.

Sleeping beside Phil in the same bed while Dan dreamt of making love to someone else in his dreams caused its own problems, as he found himself waking up with his hips grinding against Phil in a way that felt like he was cheating on his true love … and yet in some ways on the tour he had begun to feel even closer to Phil than he had back at the flat. He had long ago driven his initial romantic feelings for Phil underground, as they betrayed his love for the flower boyman so thoroughly, and so during the tour he began to distance himself even from their friendship, hoping to avoid his unintentional nighttime transgressions and confusing emotions. He saw the hurt in Phil’s eyes every day as Dan put more distance between them, but he could not stop.

It was difficult to perform a stage show nearly every night which focused on the closeness of their friendship when he was purposely trying to pull away, but he would take no chances. He would not lose the greatest love of his life. Even if, in the end, he might even have to end his relationship with Phil to avoid acting on his inappropriate feelings, he would not allow anything to endanger his first and greatest love. Because one day, he and the flower man would find each other, and their soul-deep connection would finally translate to a physical connection, and they would spend the rest of their lives together. Forever. Dan had known it his entire life, it had sustained him through some very hard times. It was the greatest truth of his life.

Yes. Yes, Dan had always known it, ever since he was a small child, and he would not let anything ruin it. Not even his love for Phil.

But as the tour continued and the romance in his dreams grew more and more intense, he noticed Phil frequently watching him during the day with an expression that Dan could only call “love.” Phil seemed to be longing for Dan, looking at him with eyes more open and honest in their affections than Dan had ever seen previously. And Phil’s obvious, apparent, unhidden love caused Dan to grow increasingly confused again, as he had felt in the days after Manchester Piccadilly, in the weeks after they first became flatmates. His feelings for Phil roiled underground where he had forced them so many years ago, but he refused to acknowledge them, refused to give them room in his waking life, let alone in his dreams where he and his lover could be together.

Perhaps he never would have realized the truth, perhaps he and Phil would never have figured it out, if it hadn’t been for the forced intimacy of the tour and the shared bed. If they had continued sleeping in their separate bedrooms in their familiar flat with their established routine, perhaps they would never have understood.

But the fact is that the tour did happen, and they did share the bed, and marvelous events transpired that made the truth clear to both of them.

For Dan learned that Phil was his flower boy, his flower man, his lover, his dream partner from childhood, the mate he had chosen to be his forever. Neither of them had known. Not when they were children, not when they messaged each other on Twitter, not when they met at Manchester Piccadilly, not when they moved into a flat together, not when they chose to share that bed on the tour bus.

Dan had fought his feelings for Phil for years out of loyalty to his first love … only to learn that his first love and his second were one and the same.

The story of how they learned the truth, and the story of what happened afterward … those are tales for another day.

This simple tale was only about a boy who grew into a young man, a young man who had only one true love in his life, and it was the same true love he’d had since his cradle.

This was simply the tale of how two people found each other, both in their dreams and on the Internet, and lived together happily ever after, just as Dan had always known they would.

******

Author’s Note: I’m using this fic to finish filling one of my bingo cards for @phandomficfests, but also to satisfy the Trope Challenge for @phanfichallenge. I know @phanfichallenge said we shouldn’t write for the soulmate trope because it had all been done before, but I hope making my soulmate fic not an AU is still somewhat new. Maybe not. I’ll contact them and they can let me know if it doesn’t count.

[shookethbrooketh]

dan liveshow notes 4/4/18

immediately we just hear dan and phil conversing

phil suggested pigeon fest and dan thought it was dumb but phil was persistent

dan unlisted a long list of old youtube videos (”about nine”) because a lot of people legitimately liked his old content and thought that was still who he was

“subject: love you xd! to dan: i am your biggest fan. honestly i can’t explin how much i love you and your videos!!!!!!!!! my name is [sandra], i am eleven, and watching your videos is literally the only thing i do with my life xD. pls give me a shoutout in one of your videos it would mean the world to me i am a danosaur for lyfe - [sandra]” - the email dan got from a fan that prompted him to unlist some of his old videos

he went from nine to six real fast even though it was really more like the sum of those two numbers

“i didn’t delete any iconic ones” “a few truth or dares” 

phil’s influenced dan they’re both saying flu jab now

dan’s officially decided that his fursona is a sloth bear

ahf;dlskafjdsanl dan actually noticed all of us tweeting #yifffordan on april fools

today we’ve learned it’s increasingly obvious that dan is ACTUALLY a furry and he’s NOT joking

dan’s now defending the furry fandom 

“PHIL AND I”

dan feels self conscious about his large twitter platform and prefers liveshows and instagram stories

dan and phil will start posting instagram stories when they get deep into tour prep and during the tour 

the insta stories should start in a week or two and should contain “what i’m listening to on spotify, or photos i’m taking that aren’t good enough to go on instagram, or random shower thoughts that aren’t good enough for twitter” 

there should be a tour-related video soon and then some tour hints 

they’re choosing outfits for the tour that are going to coordinate with the rest of the ambiance

there’s a video dan’s been thinking about uploading that he decided not to and may in a couple months in around june

dan’s doing some more “cutesy” merch to appeal to the rest of his fandom and maybe some less typical garments (asymmetrical, wide neck, crop top, etc.) 

there will be liveshows on the tour

dan wants to see love, simon

“can you please explain the kinky rabbit that you liked on tumblr” “i will like anything that makes me laugh or smile” 

dan doesn’t seem to know what pray for the wicked is (panic!’s new album)

i’d give anything to know what lewd sex act was being done to what inappropriate object that was on phil’s cards against humanity card

your daily reminder that phil dyes his hair

“phil has a nice forehead”

dan got norovirus right when phil was up north and somehow managed to get rid of it by sleeping in the heat

dan’s new favorite youtuber is someone called contrapoints 

dan said not to comment “i’m here because of dan” on things

interactive introverts is much less prop-heavy than tatinof

phil is much much more obsessed with fortnite than dan 

dan casually mentioning that marriage is an institution of society

“do you believe in soulmates?” “i don’t believe in souls, but i believe in like general compatibility which is two people that - if you just get on with someone really well, someone that you can spend time with, is that a soulmate? maybe.”