#did you know that most of the everything animal that i do is cat coded bc i’m not good at dog body language

[butchlifeguard]

incredible strength being displayed by an irl friend at still being my friend after rejoining tumblr and seeing my danganronpa url. theyve only watched the anime

[fearless-vagrant]

*he smiles and leans on you*

*hes going for a walk unintentionally by your cave to enjoy the great outdoors*

- @fearless-vagrant2

*watches from the shadows, getting ready to pounce*

[wolfclan-gen]

WOLFCLAN: MOON 16.5

"What's that weird thing around his neck?" "He smells funny." "Why's he always asleep? Doesn't he want to explore the camp?"

Rapidwind sighed. His kits were at the age where they had endless questions about everything around them, and asked faster than he could answer. "He came from far away. He smells funny and wears that thing around his neck because he didn't live with a clan, he lived with big animals called 'Twolegs'. Try not to bother him, he's hurt and he's been through a lot. He needs rest. And, um, don't tell him he smells funny. That's rude."

Robinkit, crawling up Rapidwind's back, managed to tumble over his father's head and fall into his paws. Rapidwind avoided the impulse to itch his face where the kit's tail tickled it - Indigoleaf would be furious if he accidentally wiped the poultice off his snout. Again. "But, but, why is he here now?" Robinkit mewed, before Finchkit interrupted by pouncing on his brother.

"Because… Twolegs don't like cats." Rapidwind answered. But was that true? His old clanmate, Terracotta, had claimed most Twolegs were kind. But she had been hurt and thrown out by them too, hadn't she? "So stay away from them. Just like you'd stay away from wolves, or coyotes, or eagles."

"And foxes and snakes and owls!" Oriolekit added. "Is that where we come from?"

Rapidwind stared at the kit for a moment, caught off-guard. "What do you mean, where you come from?"

"Badgerstripe said you brought us to camp." Oriolekit continued, and now her brothers were also looking up at Rapidwind. "Did you get us from Twolegs, like Shimmerstar brought Dusty back to camp?"

Rapidwind knew they'd ask about their origin eventually, but he hadn't settled on how much he would share. "No, you didn't come from Twolegs." He eventually answered. "You're clan-born, because I'm your dad."

"Badgerstripe said most cats have two parents." Oriolekit's gaze was more prying than Rapidwind thought was possible for a kit.

Badgerstripe needs to mind his own business. "That's true." He admitted. He couldn't lie to them. "You're my kits. And you also have a mother." Robinkit opened his mouth, about to speak, but Rapidwind laid his tail over the kit's muzzle. "Hush, just listen. She lived far away, with other cats. She didn't think it was safe to raise kits there, but she couldn't leave, because she was loyal to them too. So we decided you would grow up here, because WolfClan will care for any cat that needs help. Little kits like you, and old kittypets like Dusty."

Rapidwind realized his kits were all looking up at him, wide-eyed. "Does that answer your question?"

Finchkit nodded. "So, does everyone else know our mother?"

"No, I don't think so." Rapidwind glanced around the cave, but it was empty besides him, his kits, and the sleeping Dusty. "A long time ago, back when I was as little as you and the clan lived somewhere else, cats weren't supposed to have families outside their clan. Now that we live in the mountains things are different, but... I thought it was best if I didn't tell everyone. All that matters is that you're here, with me."

Rapidwind assumed that he and Shimmerstar were the only ones to actually remember living with the old codes and traditions. Indigoleaf, Badgerstripe, and Polecatspot had been too young at the time. When they fled to the mountains, it had felt like those restrictions were left behind, and all that mattered was that they would take care of each other. Shimmerstar hadn't punished Rapidwind when he brought his half-clan kits to camp, and treated the kits with the same kindness that they had shown Rapidwind when he was little, but it was obvious that the leader was actively avoiding the subject of WolfClan's deputy breaking the old clan's rules.

"Well, I like being here." Robinkit announced, his squeaky mew as serious as he could make it. Rapidwind didn't miss how he was starting to get fidgety.

"I like it more!" Oriolekit mewed back, and swiped a paw at Robinkit. Robinkit swiped back, and the two started wrestling.

Finchkit bonked his head against Rapidwind's flank, purring. "I like that we get to be with you."

Rapidwind curled his tail around Finchkit, both of them watching the others play-fight. "I like that you get to be with me, too."

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Thank you for the advice! On the topic of the Miracle Box and character bloat, I do struggle with the latter as I'm quite fond of the Miracuclass and have already attach myself to them. I do want to give them character developments since the show never did, but I am aware that having a massive cast will be difficult to write. For now my source of inspiration is Young Justice since they have a huge cast of heroes as well.

As for the Miracle Box and the shows rep on Chinese representation, I'm curious to hear your thoughts and what you would have done about it. I am Chinese-Indonesian and we celebrate Chinese New Year so I'm pretty familiar with the Chinese Zodiac. There is a story that about the origin of the Chinese Zodiac, the emperor held a contest to decide the animals that will be included in the calendar. The first is the rat and the last being the pig. Interestingly enough a cat originally wanted to join the contest only for its spot to be stolen by the rat.

The massive cast could have worked if they got rid of Marinette being the source of everything wrong in the universe and just had each episode deal with a conflict caused by one classmate or another, so I don't think you have to abandon them if you're going to match canon's monster-of-the-week format. Just be aware that it's downright impossible to write 18 characters (all the teens) or 36 characters (teens + kwamis - Nooroo) in a single scene and have the audience be able to follow what's going on. I'd strongly encourage you to scrap making most of them heroes and just keep them normal teens, but it is ultimately your call as you're the one who knows what story you want to tell.

I absolutely get the temptation to use the whole class because I personally love Rose and Juleka, but I ultimately chose to keep them as minor background characters because that's what was best for the story and I live by the code of kill your darlings since my goal as a writer is telling good stories.

I'm familiar with the Zodiac myth because of the anime Fruits Basket, but I am not Chinese* nor am I an expert in Chinese symbology and beliefs*. Please keep that in mind as I discuss this next section. If I get something wrong, then anyone is welcome to chime in and correct me or to give further context as this stuff is really hard to research if you don't read the Chinese language and/or if you don't have a background in this stuff to help set off your BS detector. A random blog could have good info or it could be written by a person making stuff up and I don't have the background to tell, so I'm skeptical of all of them which is why we're just going to talk about what's on Wikipedia here since that's usually at least mostly accurate and it gives us enough info for me to explain why I took one look at the zodiac stuff and went, "Hell no!"

My rewrite came about long before we knew all of the powers of the zodiac miraculous, so one of the first things that I had to do was figure out what to do about that because I wasn't going to just make up powers. I was going to base my stuff on the actual zodiac since I do try to be respectful to other cultures. This lead to me researching the Chinese zodiac*.

I very quickly realized how complicated this thing was. Every animal in the zodiac is associated with personality traits, two of the other animals, one of the five elements, and either yin or yang as well as several other things. I'll also note that Western representation of the zodiac has simplified it as there's more than just the 12 animals of the years. There are also animal signs assigned to the month (called "inner animals"), day (called "true animals"), and hour (called "secret animals") of your birth.

In other words, there's a lot of depth to the Chinese zodiac* and it has real cultural significance in China.

I was immediately wildly uncomfortable trying to come up with random powers that somehow respected that depth and significance. I also realized that the show didn't seem to be using the real zodiac to guide the powers it had assigned or the way the kwamis were being written, which also made me uncomfortable! I had previously assumed that they must have a cultural consultant to guide the cultural elements, but that does not seem to be the case for any element of the lore or Marinette's writing. Like to point out a big one, as best I can tell, a miracle box based on Chinese lore would not use a ladybug for good luck and it definitely wouldn't use a black cat for bad luck.

In other words, the miracle box seems to be about as Chinese as fortune cookies.

Between all of that, the character bloat, and the fact that the team is fighting one villain (meaning that you really don't need 17 powers), I decided to completely scrap the idea of the miracle box being tied to a specific culture and came up with my own lore that I won't go into here.

If I had the money to hire a cultural consultant or personal knowledge of Chinese* beliefs, then I would have considered redesigning all of the zodiac miraculous to be based on Chinese* beliefs and changed them into powerups to replace the colored macarons and cheese that have basically been forgotten about. (We are never seeing what the last three colors are for. Never!) I think that would have made more sense than the potions and it would have been more fun/limiting. It's basically how the show is using the zodiac anyway. The temp heroes are defined by their powers and little else since Ladybug is the only team member who is allowed to have a meaningful role on the team.

Basically, the Zodiac animals have a ton of potential to be something really cool that teaches us about Chinese* beliefs and I would love, love, love to see someone take that on. I mean, why have a main character who is half-Chinese and a box based on Chinese lore* if you're not going to capitalize on that?

*I bet you were wondering about all the red asterixis up there, weren't you? Well, buckle in because it gets worse.

I am not going to touch on this further because I am wildly unequipped to do so, but I would be remiss to not acknowledge the fact that the miracle box is said to be Chinese, but the miraculous monks are explicitly stated to be Tibetan, which is yet another "hell no!" There is a massive conflict over the fact that China claims that Tibet is not a country, but a part of China while Tibet claims to be its own nation. Some brief research on my part indicates that Tibet may even have its own beliefs around the zodiac and no. Just no. No, no, no! I'm not touching that minefield for a million dollars! Idk what the writers were thinking combining the two cultures like that, but that does seem to be what they're doing otherwise it would be the Tibetan miracle box or the monks would be in China. Writers, what are you doing?

Once again, I am not a part of any of the above cultures and I am not claiming to be an expert on them. I am just giving you my logic for why I took one look at the miracle box and went running for the hills. Aka why redesigned it to not be a mine field for my personal ethical code what which can be summed up as "research and represent all cultures to the best of my ability as cultures are not aesthetic. If I don't want to do the research (or can't for some reason), don't tie the setting/lore/whatever to a real culture." I'm not claiming to be perfect about that, but I do try and I like to think I know when I'm wildly out of my depth which was 100% the case here. No. Just no. No, no, no.

[not-poignant]

Hi, Pia.....Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks if you want to answer...

Hi anon!

So... they change and tbh I'm going to forget a ton of characters I love and then scream in my head later like 'oh no but THAT character and THAT character and THAT character' but I'll do my best!

Kiriyama Rei from March Comes in Like a Lion - Probably my favourite character possibly of all time. Introverted, kind of ace-coded right up until the end of the manga when it changes (and since the anime never ended he stays ace-coded throughout that lmao), very human, extremely depressed, and I just think he's a very good depiction of like...what it's like to live with extremely repressive depression and post-trauma while not necessarily knowing you have those things.

Dazai Osamu from Bungou Stray Dogs - He's a brilliant intellect genius with too much ability to know so much about the world that he kind of ends up suicidal all the time due to his upbringing / some of the things he's done and also what he's experienced. I just enjoy him. (Notable runner up here is Nakahara Chuuya but dslkajf)

Felix Harrowgate from the Doctrine of Labyrinths trilogy - Angsty, PTSD, waspish, 'I'm going to hurt you because I was hurt and then hate myself and do very self-destructive things about it but keep that part a secret so I just look like a constant dickhead,' brilliant, very good at magic. Love this dude. Would walk hundreds of miles for this dude, like the song. Would definitely write a long-ass fanfic about him.

Daeshik from Love So Pure - I love this guy SO much. He's a side-story / secondary pairing in the manhwa but I LOVE him because he's so against type. He's dorky but not in a very cute way, he's overbearing, he's SO neurodivergent coded it's painful and sometimes hilarious, he's determined and ambitious, he's not 'hot' in any typical kind of twink way, and I know he's split the fandom between 'god he's so annoying' and 'Daeshik is the BEST.' The whole webtoon is fucking amazing anyway, but Daeshik has my whole heart in his journey from 'dorky annoying overbearing friend' to 'oh I just realised I'm gay and now everything is Pride Pride Pride and I'm definitely crying next to a dildo I bought that was too big for me.'

Presenting Daeshik:

You'll never guess what he's sitting on sdlkjfas (he fails abjectly and then cries about it in a way that's kind of hilarious honestly).

Dana Scully from The X-Files - I didn't know it at the time, but this was very much my bisexual awakening. I mean I'm pretty heavily ace now, but I'm mostly not into cishet dudes, and I had pictures of Scully up on my wall like how did I not fucking know. Anyway, scientist, smart, 'so done with your shit' and just wry and witty and *clenches fist* so short and tiny and powerful. I love her. (And Gillian Anderson).

Loki from the MCU - Not necessarily every iteration, but I do love how Tom Hiddleston plays him, and I appreciate the queerer representation. Adore this guy. Look at him, what an absolute dickhead of a god. 10/10 would read him in hurt/comfort fics and PWPs again.

Hyunsoo Seo and Youngchan Baek from Perfect Buddy / XXX Buddy - Possibly my favourite manhwa of all time and I really hope that stays true because it's not finished yet. Idk how to describe these characters because they're both very complex as you get to know them better, but basically 'angry wet cat man with past trauma that he hides exceptionally well vs. Gwyn-dimensioned blond puppy dog who is just pretending to be a puppy dog because he knows exactly how threatening he is and is willing to be to protect the people he loves.'

Murderbot in the Murderbot novella series - I think all of us - or most of us - find Murderbot incredibly relatable and that's refreshing as fuck in any novel series tbh. (ART as runner-up though, love that fucker).

Sebastian Michaelis from Kuroshitsuji / Black Butler - Honestly there were a lot of kind of 'extremely powerful but kind of shitty fuckboys' I wanted to put in this category including Gojou Satoru from JJK, Reigen from MP100, and even Louis from Beastars, but Sebastian's gonna win out because I still don't know if he's going to eat Ciel at the end of that series and I very much love not knowing because he's such a devious fuckhead. Love that not-actually-a-man.

Yuurakutei Yakumo (Kikuhiku) from Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu - I just... *flails* Almost no one has seen this anime series and it kind of kills me because firstly the books were written by someone practiced in writing BL and even though this isn't BL you can still tell the vibes are there. Secondly, one of the most ace-coded characters ever. Gender-fuckery abounds, which is fun. Thirdly just, honestly, more folks should watch this?

There were a lot of characters I know I missed but I'm pretty satisfied with this list.

I've just given myself a bunch of stuff to rewatch and reread because of this anon! :D

[julia4today]

CYCLONE — fluff

(hobie x pink!reader) —- WARNING: VERY SELF INDULGENT

it’s not often you exit your apartment willingly. besides walking the dogs or work, you find leaving unimportant. here you have your cats, vanilla and alfredo. the most adorable sweeties to every graze this earth. and of course rager, your chihuahua, named by hobie.

you have your stuffed animals, your beautiful pink appliances, and your fluffy, comfy, soft, heavenly, bed. you love it here, so why are you and hobie at a stadium with thousands of people?

you don’t blend in either, no you stick out. everybody here seems to be a man, middle aged, mildly balding, and dirty. and here comes you and your love, bright pink, and dressed in spikes. there’s noise.

ordinarily you’d be cowering, trying to get away. but no, you feed into it. what takes you so out of character?

monster trucks. so big, so brave, so cool. your eyes must’ve been watering, out of your reluctance to blink, because hobie reaches over and picks up a tear from your cheek.

“isn’t this so cool honey?” you yell, coughing a little from the smoke. surrounding yourself with smokers constantly may not be the best for your lungs.

“wha’eva you say love!” hobie yells back, equally as loud. he doesn’t necessarily dislike these events, he enjoys the disruptiveness of it all, but it’s far too much for his taste. although all that doesn’t matter when it comes to you.

his demeanor relaxes as he sees you yelling, with the largest grin. your favorite driver just did 20 cyclones, one of your favorite tricks.

[cyclones: a trick where a truck does donuts at very high speeds!]

a loud cheer erupts from the stands. youd think the queen just showed up. everybody showing their support for the expressiveness. monster trucks are so cool!

thirty minutes later—

you finally sit down after a while of shouting and clapping. you reach over to hobie to grab your water bottle, voice mildly hoarse from your displays of admiration. he’s been holding it there in his lap, the pink starkly contrasting with his colorless form.

“thank you baby,” you breathe out as you take a long sip. you smile up at him as he admires you. he doesn’t know how you manage to look so gorgeous after baking in the sun for two hours.

sweat runs down your forehead and your cheeks glow a bright red, and yet he’s still looking at you, practically with hearts in his eyes. he grins as you hand back the bottle.

“ ‘ow much longer do we got, lovely?” he responds, mildly sapped.

“just a couple more, they should be slowing down. we can go if you like. it’s hot out here, and i need some real food.”

“really? yo’ chill wit it?”

“i know you don’t really like these events and im overstimulated. so yes, im chill wit it.” you say mocking his british timbre. you stand up, using him up the stairs and out the stadium.

as you walk down the road, you take a deep breath. finally able to get out of the cloud of smoke. hobie takes your hand.

“wanna get some food?”

“you mean sandwhichs on a really cool house boat?”

“ ‘ome grown sandwich’s,” he winks.

“i’d love to, darling.”

his mind goes blank and his face turns red. you turn so you can’t see but you snicker to yourself. it’s rare you use a traditionally uk nickname, and hobie claims he doesn’t get flustered, but every time you drop one of those, he goes full off balance.

“mhm!” he says, gripping your hand tighter. him, shying away from eye contact, which heavily breaks his personal code. always stand up to the man, he thinks.

but what happens when this man, just so happens to be a pinks loving, chihuahua owning, monster trucks loving, beautiful, amazing, person?

he’s non-plused. he’s in love. he is going against everything he stands for. he doesn’t care. does she?

——-

#drabble #filling out a req a little??? #do we want more hobie or miguel 🤔

[sibyl-of-space]

I FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY HAVE SUBSTANTIAL PROGRESS TO SHOW FOR MY GHOST TRICK ROMHACK. [04/18/2024]

THERE IS LITERALLY ONE SINGLE THING LEFT TO IMPLEMENT BEFORE I CAN CALL IT DONE.

As it is a massively spoilery ROMhack, details below the cut, do not open unless you have beaten the game.

You have no idea how long I've been trying to make this happen.

The point of the hack is to replace every single instance of Sissel in the game with the cat (so you can play as a cat WOOO!!!) and leave Yomiel as-is (since he uses almost all of the same assets, which made this go from a "could do it in a weekend" hack to "has taken me about 4 years" hack).

For the longest time I had successfully replaced all of Sissel's sprites in each scene using a script I wrote after a ton of digging, because for almost all of the game the sprites are associated with each line of localized text (defined per-localization). So I just ran the file for each scene through a script that find+replaces all of the codes for Sissel's Yomiel sprites, point them to the cat, and then revert some scenes that have false positives (late game scenes with Yomiel). This didn't take too long to figure out and I documented the journey on Romhacking.net.

What this did not do was address the Yomiel!Sissel sprite in 3 places:

The "phone line is down" scene

The people directory

The "I fucked up let's rewind time" scene

The phone line was the easiest fix, I realized after much headache that using save states actually caches the system_0000 file [so changing that file and then loading the save state does NOT reflect the change], and *that* is where the phone line sprite is defined. Once I realized that, the script I used for everything else found another sprite code and fixed it. That last fix was... a while ago.

I tried to update the directory the same way, but the directory file did not have the sprite codes in it anywhere. It had the upper screen animations, so I was able to edit the animation of Yomiel's dead body and replace it with a kitty, but the sprite could not be changed from there.

Today, I have finally figured out why. I spent over 10 hours yesterday following the dead end of trying to figure out progression stuff via meticulous edits to the chapter.xml file, and after learning a lot about how the game works that does not help this hack whatsoever, it occurred to me that these sprites seem to be treated by the game as UI elements. So... I had to start looking at how the game handles UI stuff.

Many frustrating hours later, I finally found what I was looking for (at least for the phone book), and it was found in overlay9_0006.bin. I narrowed this down by noticing that if I replaced this overlay file with junk the game would play normally until I tried to load the directory and then it would crash. Then I eventually was able to replace Sissel's sprite with the cat, and it was very annoying but I'm so glad it's done. I was also able to replace the sprite on the bottom screen, but unfortunately there is no definition for the cat there that I could replace it with (and since the cat is black it might not even show up anyway...), so I settled on the ghost as it's neutral enough.

The unfortunate news is that this still leaves the "rewind time" scene, and that is the most important of the 3 because it comes up so often in gameplay. If I had found that one first I might have shipped the hack as-is. But I do not feel it is complete until I can find that last fucking bit of code.

I have a bit of an idea of where it might be. I think it is also in the overlay files. I KNOW it's NOT in 0002, 0004, or 0006, because replacing those with junk I was able to load the rewind time scene just fine. It is in one of:

overlay0000 - editing this one caused the game itself to fail to load even before the title screen, so I am assuming this is a very low-level overlay and am leaving it alone for now.

overlay0001 - same.

overlay0003 - this is the likeliest culprit. If modified, the game can load but as soon as you try to press either "select chapter" or "continue" it crashes. I imagine most of the UI stuff for regular gameplay is in here then which shoooould have the "Rewind Time" scene?

overlay0005 - second likeliest culprit. If modified the game can load the Capcom/etc logos but crashes trying to load the title screen itself. This implies to me it has info on the main title screen menus which I suppose could theoretically be the same level as the rewind time scenes, though I kind of doubt that and 0003 still seems likeliest to me.

I don't know when I will have time to work on this again. Technically I didn't have time to work on it this week, I just kind of did anyway. But next time I pick it back up, if I can find what part of (probably) overlay9_0003 (maybe) includes the code for that rewind time scene, I can finish this project that I started so long ago they went and made a whole ass Switch release in the interim.

[essaytime]

Thank you so much for the links! I’m not going to answer the asks so I can keep them in my ask box but I will be checking them out when I get back from London. Also do you have any recommendations for things to see at the British Museum or London in general?

- @iron--and--blood

The last time we were in London there was really only one day for sightseeing, the rest were too busy - on top of that, we had three hours in the British Museum and the Roman section was closed due to some issue, so besides that I only have hazier and hazier memories from April last year and the other two times, when I was a child, but I'll try my best.

BRITISH MUSEUM

The Ea-Nasir tablet is, you know, itself. Iconic. You'll have to watch out for it though, it's pretty small (Room 55 or 56, I think 56) and it's just titled "Complaint about delivery of copper" or similarly. Next to it is a piece of Hammurabi Code and on its right some of the Epic of Gilgamesh.

In the same room - or the next room? - there are figures of Mesopotamian doggies and they look insanely cute, very unfitting for the very serious names they have

There's also a neat little swallow on the Egyptian section

The ever-present ghost of my dad most noble history teacher would politely encourage you to take a look at Ram in a Thicket in the Room of Our Lord 55, next to the Standard of Ur

When you exit the Egyptian section upstairs, not the Rosetta Stone one, the other one, there is some fresco (I think it was a fresco?) and it has a fantastic cat. I forgot to take a photo the last time

You can find very funny-shaped drinking cups in Ancient Greece

You are, as well, allowed to touch the copies of the reliefs on Ancient Greek section, a privilege which my friends gladly utilised to sort of immoral extents. Dignity aside, if you'd like to live your Alcibiades in a symposium dream, that's the occassion. I do wish I had the photo with it taken like I was offered to, but we had to go find the teacher. I regret. It was a fun team activity.

South and Southeast Asia is amazing, very pretty exhibits

I don't really remember the rest of the sections because I was a child then and I was very tired. This miserable occurence shall be fixed. I've heard the Enlightenment section is great.

In case you intend on buying something, the shop is most wonderful and you can find all sorts of objects in it. I bought myself a nice medieval-styled brooch, but boy, did I have a hard time choosing. Watch out for the Japanese frog pin.

EVERYTHING ELSE

I profess a great love for the National Gallery, though the last time I was there I was ten. Titian's paintings will forever remain in my heart. I suppose seeing Holbein's Ambassadors is a great experience, but frankly, I don't remember them at all from visiting. Maybe I was too little.

The Wallace Collection is so pretty! They must have closed the exhibition about dogs already, but it's very pleasant to look at. I think that's also where Fragonard's The Swing is.

Natural History Museum is undoubtedly good, though it's not really what I'm interested in, except for the animals. On top of that, the last time I've visited it I had a Zoom meeting and had to frantically hide in corners trying to be as quiet as I can and still explain my view on a Marcus Aurelius quote.

No clue what is going on at V&A right now, but they always have something good.

Never been in the Westminster Abbey, only seen it from outside - and it's already impressive. However, my history teacher says it's stunning.

Same goes for St Paul's Cathedral, only seen it from outside, but it's beautiful

Trafalgar Square is a classic for me, I love this place, and if you visit the National Gallery you're going to be there anyway. Horatio is watching.

I don't like the Thames that much, it's always so dirty, but that's where most of the famous buildings are. They're really close to each other, closer than I thought, most of them. The London landmarks are pack animals.

Watch out for the sculptures near the Parliament! I wanted to take a photo with Fawcett, but I didn't have time.

Chinatown was very fun to visit for me, but I was over the moon anyway, so I don't know how much of that was really Chinatown.

Pray think warmly of all the exhibits from me (them, not the means of obtaining them), and if you happen to see anything from the Shang dynasty, I don't know if there is, think thrice warmer:)

[kurtdotkelly]

Ramble

I don't ship canon CANON [i only see squip as crushing on jeremy due to an error in his software,, and jeremy jsut doesnt like the guy..] but,

Squip × Jeremy isn't. Pedophillic?

" Ohh!! SQUIPS an old man!! "

No. He isn't? He's an AI pill.

" Well, he takes the physical form of an old man! "

No. He doesn't, as he HAS no physical form. He can be anything and everything Jeremy needs him to be, wether it be a tiny pill, or a 'sexy anime cat girl with a tail' (<< /q)

At the very most, it's weird. But people have AI partners who are just chatbots, people marry anime characters and fan over some in media.

On a side note, people ship Veronica × JD, but find Squip × Jeremy odd. They're the same person, except JD did a LOT worse. Let's go over their similarities !

SQUIP + JD

- Isolated the main character

- Manipulated them

- Tried to do a life-changing event (Squip; Take over the world. JD; 'Clense' the world)

- Tried to do said life changing event WITH the main character (Squip and JD both wanted Jeremy and Veronica by their side)

- Wore a trench coat and/or long coat

- Came into a 17/18y olds life

- Tried to convince the main character that they were going to fix everything and take them with them and they'd be all happy and amazing and stuff

The majority difference is that JD KILLED PEOPLE. 3 people!! And threatened to kill Veronica!!

Also. Hot take(?), but they could've both been rehabilitated. JD obviously had the biggest soft spot for Veronica, and definitely could have been talked out the majority of things with a bit of a silver tongue. While SQUIP just needed to have his coding fixed, obviously jealous of Jeremy's feelings towards Christine. Not knowing how to cope with his feelings, ended up trying to isolate Jeremy, manipulating/mind controlling Christine to say what SQUIP always wanted to say to Jeremy, and trying to sync everybody together. (They did slowly become unsavable though)

SQUIP wanted Jeremy so bad I swear to god. what the fuck do you mean ''i'll tenderly guide you, just take me inside you, foreeeverr'' are you trying to be gay. Are you trying to be gay. Are you trying to be gay?? SQUIP is also canonically faulty,, and is definitely confused about his feelings for Jeremy ( "You are the person I want to be with every day, and this is something I've been afraid to say." "You are the person I want to be with every day" "And this is something I've been afraid to say." "This feeling is new" "Jeremy, I love you." )

Also. Squip was unbelievably desperate to be with Jeremy. ("I'm going to improve your life, Jeremy. If I have to take over the entire school body to do it!" "it's the only way to achieve what YOU want!") It's giving JD, when ("You carved open my heart, can't just leave me to bleed!" "I was meant to be yours! You were meant to be mine!" "You chucked me out like I was trash, for that you should be dead, but! What if highschool went away instead?")

They both wanted to take out their obvious love interest, and than decided to take out something else. To 'benefit' the others life.

[growling]

All the guys in my head post, cause it turns out actually talking about myself makes me feel better and more like a person than just keeping everything to myself only lmaoooo so to anyone whom it may concern, the gang (debatable) as it stands:

Cecil/Asphodel/Lucius Spencer:

last name spencer first name rotating between lucius, cecil and asphodel. was lucius from the beginning, way later asphodel and from a while ago cecil too.

character flaw: blonde man

also like...... prettyboy lmao??? likes those flower pattern dresses. mid or long hair, i dunno. sometimes looks blonde, sometimes he dyes it this magenta/purple shade, it changes? + has only one eye

most polite/nice out of all us, deliberately makes his voice softer whenever he talks to others to not intimidate them (got a really loud way of talking otherwise, always either yelling, or whispering), but also like, pretty shy. paranoid wild animal core

isolation expert. abandon civilization

gets in the bunker whenever literally anything mildly scary happens. do not count on him in the face of crisis

isn't having ONE oddly brutal traumatic event enough???? why do you have THREE

taller than the body

has guys inside HIS brain too. there's layers to this shit. why did this happen. for a moment i debated including them too but ultimately i didnt. most notable ones include breezepelt (yes from warrior cats) and basil (some guy. serious braincell holder. dad vibes)

despite everything, this is the most Normal guy

Brutus(?):

manifests as this very very speficic image of a drawn maine coon cat (kinda like video from strong heart are mandatory but cuter), but actually a human, but actually a tiger therian

furry

hyper and silly-angry yelling, low kinda growl-like female-sounding voice (but also often makes it higher/softer just like spencer guy), perpetually wants to get mad about things and UPPERCASE YELL but not in a serious way, and doesn't actually care THAT much most of the time. just wants to have fun

REALLY passionate about warrior cats. beats all of us in this regard because it actually cares. this is the warrior cats cat. has THE strongest opinions on it and yes, most of its yelling is actually about them lmaoo

rawr x3c lulz owo hawawawa ROFL le epic XDD lollll <--- this is what i fucking hear. i respect it though tbh

has achieved inner happiness. doing the best out of all of us

in its 30s

like. really fucking jacked. lots of muscles on that thing. strong kitty

switching between aroace and lesbian, has no gender cause that is a tiger

i feel like it and spencer guy know each other?? they gotta actually know each other but how???? HOW do they talk?????

(human form, not really human) taller than the body

transmasc icy from winx club:

transmasc icy from winx club

tied with spencer guy with the title of the oldest/being here the longest. they were there from earlyyyyyy on

chilled out, i think? kinda aloof very mean. would not want to talk to them itll get awkward fast but only for me. siiigh

switches between "surprisingly progressive" and "most far-right 4channer thing you ever heard shut the fuck up please go talk to somebody other than your coven sisters"

fairyphobic :(

only likes/nice to the coven, even then its complicated cause of the Horrors and also the lovelessness

after the transition (congrats on the transition transmasc icy from winx club) changed their name to........... cecil. there is two cecils.

taller than the body

my evil shadow self:

not actually evil just freaks me out

same appearance, voice and opinions as me but guys that is NOT me

wears like multiple clothing (blackout sunglasses, face mask, hoodie, gloves even) to conceal their identity on day to day but like. i know what u are

why....... are you so cool. is this where all my confidence went. did you steal that

please pray for me that rain code chapter 5 won't happen to me today😭😭😭

i know they look the same as me............ but why do i feel like they're taller than the body too somehow.

Yomi Hellsmile:

guy writing this, probably, i believe??

the line between "if we assume that something such as 'me' exists, then that is me" and "that is a whole another person" is VERY blurry

nearly the same as canon yomi except significantly calmed the fuck down, and very blurry recollection of anything revealed in chapter 4 + onwards

horny central. would you stop fucking thinking for 5 minutes

taller than the body whY AM I SO SMALL?????????

Like and subscribe for more glimpses of my dark fucked up reality *loud as fuck minecraft outro bass boosted music starts playing*

[forthedancingandthethriving]

The Nightmare Shard

"I can't believe we actually managed to get Desmond to come." Floyd remarks as the group of kids walk down the street.

"Aw come on, it wasn't that hard." Lily giggles. "Plus, you did say that you wanted to try out the new game, right Desmond?"

"Mhm." Desmond nods, rubbing his eyes. "But why are we going so early..? There's still time before the mall opens."

"The Mushroom Kingdom Mall gets packed whenever a new game releases." Lil Coding huffs.

"I remember when Animal Crossing New Horizons came out.." Bowser Junior whispered, a haunted look in his eyes. Lily, Sage, and Cody shuddered a bit, nodding in agreement. "The things people did.."

Lil Coding, Floyd, and Desmond all glance at each other, varying looks of concerns on their faces.

"N-E-waaaaaaaays!" Lil Coding claps his hands together. "We're probably just gonna go in for the games unless anyone else wants stuff."

Lily slowly holds up a credit card. "I stole this from my house."

"How many did your parents even have?!" Cody asks, exasperated. "And how are you still getting into their house?"

"Magic." the girl grins, wiggling her fingers.

○●○

A crystal blue shard pulsates in the grip of metal claws. On either side of it were conductors that were zapping it with electricity. Nearby stood Professor E. Gadd, who was watching the crystal closely.. until his phone rang.

"Ah, Luigi, my boy! So good to hear from you! ... No no, everything has been fine. No crazy science attempts yet."

The crystal shard started to glow brighter.

"So, how have the kids been, hm? I do remember some of them getting trapped in paintings last time we talked. .. that's good, very good!"

A crack of thunder and the lights in the lab suddenly went out, the only glow being from the crystal shard.

"Ah poop."

○●○

"-is that?!" Cody finishes his cry, looking around with wide eyes.

His ears pin back, seeing nothing but an all-encompassing black void around him. Slowly, he exhales and rubs his temples. "All we wanted to do was go to the mall!"

With an annoyed flick of his tail, he looks around. There's nothing around him, only the void. Sighing, he starts walking in a random direction.

Cody cups his paws around his mouth, calling out. "Lil Coding?! Floyd?! Desmond?! Sage?! Jr?! Lily?! Guys?!"

He stops, and his paws fall at sounds of his own voice echoing back at him. He then inhales and shouts, "GUYS, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

His voice echos back, and he starts to lose hope before Jr's voice shouts back, "CODY! COME THIS WAY!"

Cody's ears flick and swivel, trying to figure out where his friend's voice came from. Eventually, he figures out where, and he turns and runs towards the sound of his friend's voice.

Eventually, he gets to Bowser Jr, who was thankfully with Sage still.

"Well, at least you two are here." Cody sighs in relief. "Do either of you know where we are?"

"We do not." Sage shook her head. "However, this is suppressing many of my abilities and appears to be sending out a copy of my 'all is well' state." The AI crosses her arms. "It also appears that we are stuck here, as there are no exits."

"Well, that's great." Jr frowns. "And we still need to find the others!"

statement: youthree_

The three all jolt at the cold and emotionless voice that suddenly rings. A shadow slowly looks over the trio and they look up.

A being made of what was obviously code towered over them. It had an upside down pentagon as a head, which was detached from its lower body that started as a concave pentagon but trailed off into a lightning bolt shape. Two triangles floated above its head, mimicking cat eats. It had clawed hands, which were sharp and poised. It's eyes were a 3 and 4, which were laser-focused onto them.

Most worryingly, its body was a familiar shade of purple.

"Lil Coding..?" Cody's ears pin back.

statement: LilCodingisnomore_

statement: thereisonlyNull_

"Uh oh..."

○●○

"I'm not.. I'm not.." Lil Coding gasps, clawing at his cap. Tears fall from his eyes as he stares at the destruction in front of him. "I.. I couldn't have.."

statement: youdidthis_

"No.. no, no, no.." he shakes his head, staring at his dads. Their pupils were arrows and stood in front of his uncle Mario. Their friend group collapsed on the ground, all looking badly injured.

statement: theywerenotefficentenough_

"No! No, no!" Lil Coding backs away, claws tearing holes into his cap as he looks at the scene in front of him. "They're- They are efficient! I didn't do this!"

statement: youdidthis_

A familiar shadow looms over him, and he looks up. He hiccups, seeing an all too familiar AI hovering over him.

statement: theywerenotefficientenough_

○●○

"How nice of you guys to join us- WOAH!" Cody cries, dodging a swipe from.. Null.

"What is this?!" Lily shouts, her and Desmond jumping away from spikes of code that appeared.

observation: youareinthewayofmydirective_

conclusion: youmustberemoved_

"It is an AI," Sage informs them, blocking an attack, "and it appears to have taken the form of Lil Coding."

correction: Null=LilCoding

All the kids stop.

"There is no way you're that giant fluffball." Floyd narrows her eyes.

statement: Null=LilCoding

statement: LilCoding=Singularity

Desmond tilts his head, missing the way Sage's eyes light up with recognition. "Singularity..?"

"Sage, didn't you bring up someone named Singularity one time?" Bowser Junior asks, looking at his friend.

The girl's eyes narrow. "There is no possible way that you are Lil Coding. You were a sorry excuse for an AI. Lil Coding is a manifestation of code that does his job well."

Null- Singularity- Cody doesn't know anymore- narrows its eyes. Its hands raise and code crackles around it.

statement: Null=LilCoding

statement: LilCoding=Singularity

statment: LilCodingwillbecomelikeSingularity_

statment: itisinevitable_

"Alright, let's deal with this thing." Floyd sighs. "And then we can get back to finding Lil Coding."

Cody nods, though he glances down at his feet. The ground was cracked a bit and glowing white. He didn't have much time to question it, however, as he had to roll away from some spears of code.

For a while, it was just that. The kids had to focus on simply dodging the attacks of Null. The AI was relentless, not ever letting up.

"This is like a nightmare!" Lily cries at one point and it seems to make Jr realize something.

"Wait!" the Koopa Prince gasps. "A nightmare! Thats why this place feels kinda familiar!"

"What?!" all the kids shouted.

"We're in the Nightmare Stone! Or.. what's left of it. I remember from when papa used it years ago! But I remember that there were multiple nightmares, not just one.. maybe it's because it broke."

"So then that means this is Lil Coding's nightmare." Floyd points out, briefly going incorporeal to dodge a swipe from Null.

"So we find LC, wake him up, and get out of here!" Lily cheers.

"We have to find him first." the ghost reminds the human, making her deflate.

Cody lands in a crouch by the cracks in the ground again, and his ears twitch, hearing sobbing from their. Seeing Null preoccupied, he kneels down and presses an ear against the ground.

"No.. no.. no I.. I didn't do this.. I didn't..!"

"Lil Coding!" he gasps. Thinking quickly, he brings out his claws and digs them under a shard of the broken ground. He loosened the broken shard before yanking it off, quickly doing it to the rest. Soon, it was a sizeable hole.

"Guys!" he calls. "I think Lil Coding is down here!"

"You go and find him!" Desmond calls back. "We'll deal with this weirdo!"

Cody hesitates before nodding. He knew they had a point. He was the closest to it, and any of them running over would risk leaving themselves open to getting attacked.

With a deep breath, he lept in.

○●○

"I didn't do this! This isn't.. I'm not like you!"

Cody's ears pin back at the scene in front of him. A being identical to Null, except with different colors, was floating over a kneeling Lil Coding. The Code was in hysterics and it wasn't hard to see why.

There was destruction all around. Their friends and family were all.. hurt to varying degrees.

Cody's eyes landed on Melony, and he recoils. She looked terrible, badly beaten, and what seemed to be burn marks all over her.

He didn't want to know what that was about.

He looks around, clenching his paws. His gaze settles back on Lil Coding, and he exhales. His friend needed him now more than ever. It didn't matter what the rational part of his brain was saying - to turn around and run.

This 'Nightmare Stone' was hurting his friend. And like hell was he going to let it hurt him any more.

"Lil Coding." he calls, walking forward. "Can you hear me?"

He sees both the being and Lil Coding jolt. If he had to guess, the being was Singularity, which turned to glare at him. He glares back at it, which seemed to surprise it.

"Listen to me." Cody places a paw on his chest. "Here I was, thinking that you were one of the most confident people ever. That you had no fears, no nightmares, no worries. But.. I can see I was wrong."

Lil Coding slowly turns to look at him, tears still falling. "Cody..?"

Cody flicks his tail as he continues to approach. "You're scared right now. You're scared that you're going to end up like Singularity. Because you've been through a lot, haven't you? And.. you're probably sacred that all those experiences are going to turn you into it."

"But you won't, and you never will." Cody smiles warmly as he kneels beside Lil Coding. Singularity tries to swipe at the duo, but it's hand simply passes through them both. "You have all sorts of people who support you. They'll help reel you in and keep you on the right path. And we will as well. We'll help you stay focused and never lose sight of what you're doing."

Singularity says something, but neither seem to hear it.

"Do you.. Do you mean that..?" Lil Coding asks, voice soft. His eyes are hopeful.

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye." Cody says as he does the motions.

The Code laughs softly, the sound a bit broken but no longer sad. The cat chuckles at that and the two stand up.

"Thanks, Cody.." Lil Coding wipes away his tears. "That.. that means a lot to me. Hearing you say that even when you don't know what Singularity did.."

Cody elects not to bring up the carnage around them, especially as it slowly vanishes. "You're my friend, LC. Even if we haven't been friends long, I know you're not that type of being. I've seen some of the stuff you go through, and I know you'll never do whatever Singularity did."

Lil Coding's expression softens, his tail swaying. "Cody.."

Neither got to say anything else because cracking noises began to fill the black voice they were in. White cracks then began to splinter around them, and Cody swore he heard Null's voice shouting distantly. It sounded shocked.

'Take that.' Cody thought.

○●○

The group shouted as they were tossed from the void, all falling to the ground roughly.

"I should've stayed in bed.." Desmond huffs, shaking his head.

Lily rubs her head before looking at Lil Coding. "Lil Coding! You're okay!"

The Code nods. "Yeah, I am. I'm glad to see you guys are, too."

"It wasn't that big of a deal. Aside from the weird AI monster attacking us.."

The kids then got up and all brush themselves off, thankful to see no injuries on themselves. Bowser Junior then points. "Oh, hey! We're in front of the mall!"

"Sweet!"

The group rush towards the doors, though they skid to a stop when they see a sign on there.

"'Due to various plumbing and electrical issues, the Mushroom Kingdom Mall is closed until tomorrow. We apologize for the inconvenience. - Management'." Sage reads aloud.

The kids fall quiet.

Lily inahles. "SON OF A BI-"

[fuzzballsheltiepants]

Vet here!

I 100% believe that there are situations where rehoming the pet is the kindest, most humane thing to do for the pet and the people involved.

I'm not talking about dumping the animal on the street, but working to find a more appropriate home for that animal's needs, or because your needs are different than you thought.

Here are some reasons I have seen pets rehomed, all of whom thrived afterwards:

A person in the home developed an allergy or other medical issue that made keeping the pet unsafe for them, or made it so they could no longer meet the pet's needs

The family had a child, and the pet was not at all okay with having a tiny screaming, crawling, etc. person in the house

The people did not do their research and ended up with a bad match

The people did their research, but the animal in question did not fit the expected behavioral profile and thus is stressed in the lifestyle they are in. One example of this was, someone who had competition dogs (they did agility, obedience, and flyball) got another member of their breed of choice. This particular dog wanted to sit on a couch and cuddle with someone, and do a nice easy daily walk, and maybe give paw for a biscuit. She absolutely did not want to have to travel every weekend and do intensive daily training, even though 99% of her breed would be absolutely bonkers without all that work. Nor did she want to deal with her rambunctious housemates. She ended up in a pet home and being a lovely companion for her new (experienced) older human

A person wanted to get a cat after their sweet older cat died. They went to the shelter asking for an adult cat, and someone handed them a sweet little wiggly kitten that they promptly fell in love with. They took said kitten home, and he was extremely high-drive, playful, climbing everything and getting into everything. Without daily active playtime, he started biting. The owner did not have the time or desire to do that type of intensive play this cat needed, and didn't want to get him a companion cat due to finances

Pets who have medical issues that the family is not financially (or time-wise) prepared to handle, but someone else is willing to take on that expense/time. This happens often in emergency clinics, and is how I obtained one of my cats and a former dog

This one is controversial BUT often improves safety for the pet: the person gets a new partner, and the partner dislikes the animal or vice versa. While in my own personal ethical code, that would mean finding a new partner, I would rather see the pet rehomed to a loving family that wants them then have to live in a household where they are at risk

Sometimes, recognizing that you are not in fact the best fit for your pet, and finding someone who is, is a great act of love. There are a tremendous number of resources available to help find that better fit, including training groups, online communities (beware though, and make sure you investigate proper homes thoroughly), breed rescue, friends, family members, and even talking to your vet who, presumably, knows your pet to some degree. If you have a pet from a responsible breeder, contact your breeder! If you obtained through a rescue, contact that rescue group! Not all of them will help you, but many will.

hi! can i ask what's ur opinion on giving pets away? not necessarily because u can't afford to care for em anymore but maybe incompatibility of personalities or maybe lifestyles. is it wrong to give ur pet for adoption if u know someone who's better suited for keeping a pet, like emotionally?

This is going to be controversial, but I support making that choice.

There’s a lot of rhetoric lately around how it’s evil and unethical to rehome your pet if you don’t “need to.” And what that does is prioritize human ideology over the actual animal’s well-being.

Pets that aren’t a good match for your home or pets that aren’t really wanted anymore frequently have lower welfare! When caring for an animal becomes a burden or is forced, people end up resenting them, and that means the animal often doesn’t get all of its needs fulfilled. Even if you’re still feeding it and providing appropriate vet care, how likely are you to provide affection or enrichment to an animal you’re tired of being stuck with?

Lifestyle and personality really matter to making sure a pet is a good fit for a home. A dog that alert-barks at every leaf that moves is probably a bad fit for someone who has a chronic migraine syndrome, and they might not know that until the dog has been in the home for weeks and started to open up. A really feisty kitten that requires a ton of play might not do best in the home of someone older who wanted a quiet lap cat. And while you can you do your best to plan to find a compatible animal, you won’t always know ahead of time what issues might arise.

“Forever home” rhetoric is really, really popular and I think it’s very unfair to the animals it is supposed to support. It started with the backlash of seeing animals abandoned inappropriately, and has been heavily reinforced in the public mind because it’s so frequently used to drive fundraising and support for legislation. The whole “forever home” concept communicates to people that getting an animal is an immutable commitment and that if you can’t keep an animal, it is a personal moral failing. It frames human priorities (we think people who get rid of animals are Evil and Bad and should be shunned) as more important than actual welfare needs for individual animals (are they getting the care they need where they are).

Obviously, I don’t support people dumping animals or just getting fad pets they’ll discard immediately, but there’s so many alternate situations that can arise. Even if it’s just “they got a pet and didn’t know what caring for it would take and didn’t want to care for it so they brought it back, how awful” like… okay, I’d like the person to have done more research before they got a pet, but isn’t it better that the animal now has a second chance to go to better home? Knowing what a commitment requires theoretically can be very different than having to actually follow through regularly, and I’d rather see someone maturely acknowledge that having an animal isn’t a good fit than keep it anyway!!

If animals being happy and with all their biological, veterinary, and social needs fulfilled is actually the goal, we need to prioritize their welfare over human opinion. I’d much rather see an animal rehomed responsibly to somewhere it will thrive and be welcomed than see people keep animals they can’t/don’t want to care for out of guilt or shame. 

[childofsquidward]

Books I Read In 2022 (and by read I mean actually liked)

Sailor Moon, Vol. 1 by Naoko Takeuchi

“Me? The leader of the four guardians?”

⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4.5 STARS)

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

Surprisingly enough, I never got into Sailor Moon as a kid both in terms of the manga and the anime. (I was more of a Tokyo Mew Mew and Pretty Cure girl.) Reading the manga for the first time as an adult definitely makes me wish that I’d been more interested in this series as a kid because it’s everything I love about the magical girl genre and it definitely made me a little nostalgic for that era of media because we really haven’t gotten another series like Sailor Moon or Tokyo Mew Mew in a very long time.

I definitely related to Usagi the most in terms of personality and she would have absolutely been my comfort character in middle school. Clumsy, always sleepy and therefore always late; a terrible student with a disrespectful little brother and obsessed with every pretty girl she sees… fuck it, I’m Sailor Moon now. Her first reaction to Luna talking being that she’s just dreaming and just turning away from her to go back to sleep was highly relatable.

Older manga series have such an interesting art style to me because this style of manga is very cutesy, but then the art for the possessed characters and monsters doesn’t fit that style at all because of how horrifying they look, like, this would’ve been such a jumpscare for me as a kid. It’s so inconsistent, but it really works for some reason. I also thought that the art for the first time that Tuxedo Mask swoops in was gorgeous. 

Random thoughts/reactions I had while reading this book:

Usagi impulsively getting off the bus to follow a pretty girl is so me-coded. I’d fold for Sailor Mars too.

I knew Luna did something to the machine!

Rei would be me in this situation like, no I’m not going to blindly put myself in danger to save the world without knowing exactly what your end goal is, you’re literally a talking cat.

Nephrite is literal nightmare fuel while using his powers, otherwise, he’s the hottest of them all.

DON’T KISS HER WHILE SHE’S UNCONSCIOUS, OH MY GOD, GET HIS ASS LUNA!!! (I’m taking off 0.5 stars just for this.)

Lols, Makoto saved her life and fed her, Usagi already forgot about Tuxedo Mask. Her noticing the rose earrings - gay as hell.

“I just don’t trust men.” - Rei, I am so sorry the original show made you boy-crazy! (I’ve seen the clips.)

“Something much, much more important than love or romance.” - yeah, female friendships and also lesbians

Tokyo Mew Mew had that whole secret fifth member who already has their powers and has been doing this the longest too, and I lowkey think they did it better.

[perpetual-fool]

The real world must be somewhere else.

I saw this clip from an anime, details not significant. Guy responds to something the protagonist did with something like "we get it, you're angry". And that's a pretty clear example of one of the types of non sequitur attacks that generally throws me into a panic. But I realized, there's no 'honest' reading of this. Either it has no meaningful effect, or it (contributes to) destroys the person's psyche. There is no possibility of successfully gaslighting the person into thinking they were actually angry. I can see some people making malicious use of that, but not literally everyone almost constantly, not unless they aren't actually human. And things aren't fitted well enough for Truman Show scenario, too many things don't relate to me well enough for everything to be about me.

So, twenty five years later, and now with actual critical thinking skills, I'm back to 'brain in a vat'. My best explanation for why this is happening is that it's not actually happening.

(Then again, if the whole thing is artificial, there's no reason for only the humans to behave senselessly. The physics could be inconsistent too, like sometimes tape will just have the 'sticky' turned off or something. Then again again, if nothing ever made sense then I'd have no foundation from which to be confused.)

I guess I'm making progress towards feeling better. The major roadblock has been explaining others' behavior, as that's what means I must be wrong and bad. I'm concluding the above, and particularly that at the least most of their actions can only be for the purpose of destroying others. Refuting the ideas more specifically, the concept that I deserve to suffer doesn't make sense. Analogously, say you're writing a computer program. The computer doesn't know what you're trying to do (and it would lead to bad outcomes if it tried to guess), so it's going to run your code as is. If you made a mistake in writing it, or if the language doesn't work quite the way you think it does, then the computer is going to do something you didn't want. But that's your fault, the computer cannot do anything other than what it's told to do. You tell it the wrong thing, it does the wrong thing. As a human, I don't have a magic solution to this problem. If I conclude things others don't like or feel things others think I shouldn't feel, they'll blame me for it, sure. But I don't have a way of arriving a different conclusions with the same logic, and I can't act on information I don't have. I can try to guess what people intend but I'm always wrong and they won't clarify anything. So, I am what I am and feel how I feel, and yelling at me for not being what you want is as sensible as doing the same to a computer. And I ought to respond as such. (Aside, much of the time I'm imagining being berated by someone who's a Christian, and that would make the whole argument moot. Like, the core belief is that everyone innately deserves to be tortured forever, you don't have to do anything to deserve it. So saying that I belong in hell isn't really saying anything at all.)

Then next is justifying why I 'deserve' to be happy. And that's also just nonsense. May as well be asking if a plant deserves water. That's someone hijacking my emotions and then extorting me with them. Except, ya' know, they never made any demands. Hypothetically, step one of brainwashing is to destroy the person, and then step two is replace them with something else. But there has never been a step two, only step one, endlessly. But actually I 'deserve' whatever happiness I can create? It would make more sense to think of happiness as something to be created rather than a reward magically bestowed whenever I've done the correct things to 'earn' it.

Anyway, I still have some shit to work through.

As usual I feel a bit bad about this. 'Cause it also applies to Cat, and I don't want to think poorly of Cat. Though also, this might be because I want things to be as significant as I felt about them, I don't want to think this badly of V either. I believed in her more than I believed in god, and now I think her behavior is so stupid that it isn't plausible that there was actually a person behind them. I suppose that says more about my mental state than her. I guess I'd rather think there was something real that I missed out on, instead of that everything I ever hoped for was a lie. She still seems like something I desperately need in my life. But I talked to that human, there isn't a person in there. Those songs might as well be wholly her fantasy. Like I was a convenient mark to pin her martyr complex on. Oh how terrible that I don't understand when you won't fucking tell me anything. How terrible it is that you don't understand when you won't fucking ask. "When it all comes around, I don't mind" says the one who left.

It seems like there's so much to connect to, but there's just not. The only crumb of connection I ever got was from Cat.

And that's the trap. My spirit is broken, I'd do anything for anyone who'd let me in. But all I find is more breaking.

And apparently with the carrot aside, there remains the stick. There must have been instances of being punished for non sequiturs, like being yelled at "you're being X!" followed by getting hit with the belt. Or maybe yelling at a five year old is enough to convince them that you're going to hurt them? It's further back than I can remember at this point. I definitely remember getting the belt a few times, but not very often. I'm told they stopped using the belt on me at some point because it "didn't work" on me, not the way it worked on my sister. Or maybe it was mostly elementary school that taught me absolutely anyone would try to harm me if they think they can get away with it, and no one would ever come to my defense. So I'm afraid of inescapable violence with gaslit justification. Like, if the right people say the right things, they can have you locked up and tortured for the rest of your life. And nothing people say or do needs even a distant relationship to the truth. But that is inescapable, if it's going to happen then it's going to happen and there's nothing I can do about it. Like, when I was having heart trouble awhile back, for about a month straight I thought I was about to start dying at any second. Towards the end of it, right before the surgery, the medication wasn't keeping my heart in rhythm anymore. So I was very weak, needed a wheelchair to get around the house, couldn't stand up long enough to take a shower, and I felt like I was about to die. But I was getting dirty, starting to be uncomfortably so. And I decided, I can die dirty, or I can die clean. So yeah, I showered mostly sitting down, took me a long time to get back out and get my clothes back on, had to take lots of little breaks.

So I can wait for the unfathomable torment in constant overwhelming anxiety, or I can do it playing video games and eating burgers or whatever.

At least, all that in theory. This has been all I know, and from past experience what actually changes how I feel are counterexamples. Like with Cat actually explaining what an idea means, which proved to me that I'm not crazy. So the next step is to flesh out my imaginary companion and simulate what a real connection would be like. Then maybe I can enjoy being a glutton and a pervert or whatever while I can. (Aside, it kind of makes sense that I haven't built up anything (don't know how to phrase that better), since everything I know is destructive. I can hardly even imagine an honest conversation. So I feel somewhat optimistic about this.)

[kaleiidoskope]

you have given me too much power, windy /silly

i might actually put this in sections because there’s several things i wanna talk about in no specific order… rubs hands together mischievously

-> FAVOURITE SHAPES!

yes yes! weirdly enough i do have favourite shapes- and a list of them too!! in my mind i have an idea on how they’d act and stuff… i don’t even know why i have favourite shapes since i’m the only person that i know has that type of stuff…

1. STARS!!! stars are so pretty and so pointy!! they can be delicate in the night sky or sharp like a throwing star, so many shapes and sizes!! i personally prefer 5-pointed stars but others are pretty neat too, whenever i draw and add scribbles in my background one of the first things i think of are stars! they’re very fun do draw and make me happy :DD

2. TRIANGLES!! triangles can come in so many shapes and sizes as well, they’ve even got names depending on their angles, isn’t that neat? (excuse me if this isn’t correct- i went to a french school so i learnt the french math n stuff… les angles) they really help bring out certain parts and add sharpness to a design, you can even mish-mash a bunch of them together to look like things!!

3. DIAMONDS! diamonds are very royal and proper shapes, they’re easily recognizable and are really fun to draw, you can stick a bunch of them together to look like flowers too! they’re really a fun thing to incorporate into designs!!! especially on clothing and jewelry :]

^ in addition all of these are pretty much everywhere in my sketchbooks / stray papers lying around ^

-> CATS!!

my favourite animal! ever! (along with sharks, i have soooo many shark things in my room) ever since i was in like. second grade (a.k.a. when i started truly drawing a lot!!) i drew them a lot and still do! i know a lot of species and things about them so i like telling people cat facts (did you know the largest cat breed is a maine coon? reaching one meter long from nose to tail) plus i’ve had cats ever since i was young, cats just have a very special place in my heart because they’re all just so silly,,,

-> COLOURS!!!

i have a lot of favourite colors! no specific order to those either…

maroon, pastel (?) lime green, light blue, reddish orange idk i forgot the name

i really just enjoy talking about colours a lot since they’re pretty interesting to me, especially colour theory and all that jazz, it’s a topic that’s very interesting when you look at it further because of how pigments function and how our eyes could perceive light and the entire history of the camera with how people worked to replicate colours- it’s very fascinating to me! i’d watch hour-long videos about that if i had enough spare time hehe

-> PLUSHIES!

i’m aware i sound childish talking about this but idc i kinda just am- PLUSHIES PLUSHIES! every shape and form in a little (or big) huggable ball of cotton and fur! i have waaay too many to count but that doesn’t matter, i love plushies a lot since i’ve kept some pretty much my whole life, i always bring small ones with me when i’m going somewhere new (or for medical appointments n stuff… needles scare me) since it’s kinda like a small huggable friend i keep for comfort. since i care a lot about objects n stuff i’ve kinda given personalities to all of them, or, well, most… i love just being able to look to my side and see a friend i can talk to and hug for comfort y’know? (hard to phrase this in a way that doesn’t make me sound all kiddy or crazy :sob:…)

anyways rambling over, i also go on side tangents a lot when talking to people so if you do talk to me you might hear about other stuff i didn’t mention-

THANKS FOR LETTING ME DUMP THIS HERE I HAD A LONG DAY YESTERDAY </3 (i was phighting <- PHIGHTING MENTIONED?!?! i’m so sorry lol /silly /hj the urge to colour code everything in these paragraphs but i’ve got other stuff to do so-)

Y'all should reblog this and tell me your favorite like- Anything and why it's your favorite. Doesn't matter what it is: Favorite game, favorite color, favorite toy, favorite food or whatever! Just tell me your favorite anything and it would brighten my day <3

[spaceyaceface]

History - Chapter 2

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings/Cliches: Slow burn, brief mentions of fights, minor language, spoilers (?) for season 2

Story Summary: Steve Harrington remembers Y/N from high school. He never intended on her getting mixed up with all of his monsters. He never intended to fall in love with her. 

Chapter Summary: Y/N sees Dustin doing something weird. And somehow, that lands her in the backseat of Steve Harrington's car to go fight monsters. Follows part of season 2.

A/N: Ahhhh this took me forever to do. I'm a slow writer, sorry!!! I'm really excited for where this story is going, though, and have some cute stuff planned for the next few chapters! Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist :)

W.C.: 1.9k

TAGLIST OPEN

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----------------

In the years to come, Y/N would never blame Dustin for getting her involved. But it was pretty much Dustin’s fault. 

She’d been writing an essay for some college on her back porch when the commotion started. Sure, she had gotten fairly used to the boy’s antics–but they definitely could be entertaining. So, when Dustin was cursing like a sailor, running around his yard in hockey gear, she stood off to the side, brows furrowed. 

“What the hell is all this?” she asked, expecting his group of friends to come tumbling out of his house after him at any moment. 

Instead, his eyes went wide under the mask he was wearing and he swore even louder. “Get out of here!” 

“What–”

She was cut off by a noise behind her. Her head turned to look back, but before she could get a good look at the source, Dustin yanked her into the shed beside him. 

Through the cracks, she saw her very first demadog. 

Her breath fled from her lungs as she stared at it–it’s featureless face splitting open to eat some of the bologna off of the ground. Suddenly, it looked up at them–how did that thing even see anything?--and Dustin shot out of the shed, swinging his hockey stick and launching him into the cellar. He shut the door before collapsing onto it.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “You ate my cat.” 

“It ate your WHAT?” 

Dustin whirled around. “You didn’t see anything.”

“Like hell I didn’t, Dustin Henderson, what on earth–”

“Nothing!” he shouted. “Y/N, just go home and forget about it, trust me, it’ll be better that–”

“I am not going to just go home and forget about it.” She glanced down at the cellar doors. “Go call the police or animal control, or–or whatever, I’ll–”

“No!” He took off the helmet, burying his face in his hands, muttering some choice words under his breath. “I can’t call the police. Well, most of them. Y/N, I legally can not tell you what’s going on so just go home and don’t worry about it.” 

She gaped at him. Legally can not tell her? What was that supposed to mean? Regaining her composure, she folded her arms. “I’m not letting a 13 year old kid handle that freak monster lizard thing on his own. If we can’t call the police, or you can’t tell me everything, then fine. But I’m not going to let Dustin Henderson be solely responsible for a cat eating mini demon. I’m going to help you, whether you like it or not.”

Dustin stood there a moment, a little shocked at her speech. After a moment he groaned. “Fine. Fine!  But I can’t explain. And you have to do exactly what I say!” 

Most of the day after that was a blur. 

As they scrubbed cat guts out of his carpet, Dustin was trying desperately to get ahold of someone else to help. Over and over, he tried his friends (“More 13 year olds are the people who know this stuff, but not me?” “Shut up.”) but they didn’t pick up his code red. Well, except for Erica Sinclair, who promptly turned off her walkie and left them for dead. He tried a few other people as well, like Jim Hopper the chief of police, and Joyce Byers. It was a bit comforting that there were at least some adults involved in this madness. 

Y/N tried to keep herself from asking questions. It was part of the deal, after all. Seeing that thing had sent a wave of fear through her, and she wouldn’t be able to rest easy until she knew it was taken care of. But she couldn’t help but wonder what it was. She’d managed to guess very little about it so far–just that it was dangerous, unknown to most of the human population, and that its existence was very, very bad news. 

By the time the evening came, Dustin was growing more and more tense. She had helped in any way that she could, but he seemed to be formulating a plan to get rid of the thing (which he finally told her he had named Dart) that needed help from someone more experienced. 

So when the pair of them stood outside the Wheeler’s house, Y/N was beyond confused. 

“I thought you already tried getting ahold of Mike,” she said as he pounded on the door. 

“Their line is busy. They might be home, though. And Nancy could help too.” 

She furrowed her brows. “Nancy?”

Finally, Ted Wheeler opened the door. The conversation was short and to the point. Mike was at Wills. Nancy wasn’t home either. Behind them, a car door slammed shut. 

Y/N turned and saw someone marching towards them to the Wheeler’s front door. After a moment, she realized that the someone was no other than Steve Harrington holding a bouquet of roses in his hand. 

She inwardly grimaced. She’d heard the rumors circling around–that the King and Miss Perfect had finally broken it off, and she had run away with Johnathan Byers. Judging from the roses and the muttering under his breath, she figured the rumors must be true. A shot of sympathy went through her. 

He had changed in the past several months. She wasn’t sure what it was–maybe it had been Nancy, pulling the best out of him–but the difference was pretty stark. He no longer hung out with Tommy or Carol. In fact, as far as she knew, he had laid fairly low this year. He was still a regular at parties, of course, but he seemed more… grounded. Kinder. 

A little bit more like the Steve Harrington she had glimpsed at in the week that they spoke to each other. 

Lost in her thoughts, she was pulled back to reality by Dustin calling out to Steve. “Are those flowers for Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler?”

“...No.”

“Good.” Dustin yanked the flowers out of his hand, heading over the Steve’s car. 

“Hey! The hell–” 

“Nancy isn’t home. Y/N, come on.” 

Steve finally glanced over at her, just noticing she was there, before turning his gaze back to Dustin. “Where is she?”

“Doesn’t matter. We have bigger problems than your love life.” 

“Wait,” Y/N said, looking between the two of them. “Harrington knows?” 

“Yes. Hurry up. Do you still have the bat?” he asked, question directed back to Steve.

“What bat?” he replied

“The one with the nails.”

Steve glanced between Dustin and Y/N. She had made her way to Dustin’s side, deciding that she wasn’t going to be ditched any time soon. “Why?”

“I’ll explain on the way,” Dustin said, getting into the passenger seat. 

“Am I finally going to get an explanation?” Y/N asked. 

“Well, you’ve stuck around this long. I feel like it’s going to take a lot to get rid of you.”

—-------------

It was a long while before anyone said anything. 

Steve was tense at the wheel, glancing at Y/N in the rearview mirror periodically. 

Dustin had just caught Steve up to date–all about how he found Dart, and how he thinks he’s a baby ‘demogorgon’ and his grand plan to burn him to smithereens. Y/N felt she was still missing a lot of background on the whole thing–like where they had encountered these demogorgons before, and what it had to do with all of Dustin’s friends, but it was more information than she had had before. 

“You can still back out,” Steve said, cutting through the silence. “You don’t have to have anything to do with this.”

She shook her head slowly. “I’ve made my choice.” 

Dustin sighed. “Y/N–”

“Look,” she said, taking in a breath. “The thing is, now that I know there’s stuff like this out there, I can’t just sit aside and let someone else take care of it. I can help. I know I can. And if I backed out now, knowing that this thing could hurt either of you, I’d be a coward. If I went home and then neither of you showed up to school tomorrow, I’d spend the rest of my life knowing I could have made a difference. And that would be worse than dying.” 

Dustin and Steve shared a look. Steve nodded. 

“Welcome to the team.” 

He pulled up into his driveway. The house looked the same as it had nearly a year ago. She had expected as much, but she never really thought she’d be back here again. After parking, Steve went and retrieved a bat. It was covered in nails and looked like a pretty solid weapon. Y/N’s eyebrows rose. 

“You have another one of those for me?” she asked. 

He hummed in thought, glancing around his garage for a moment before grabbing a plain wooden bat leaning against the wall and passing it to her. 

She frowned a bit. “No nails for me?”

“Let’s not have you kill someone on your first swing, L/N. Do good and maybe we’ll make it deadlier.” 

She rolled her eyes, but knew he was probably right. It would be pretty tragic if she happened to be the one causing one of their deaths from a stray swing. 

The trio piled back into the car, ready to go back to Dustin’s house. 

—-------

It was a weird feeling having Y/N L/N sitting in the backseat. 

He had never had any intentions of getting to know her back when he was King Steve. Why would he? She was quiet. Smart. Kind. Everything he wasn’t. 

But the school project had pushed them together like a strange twist of fate. 

For the first time in years, someone had looked at him, through him, and he had felt… seen. He saw the look in her eyes, the way she dismantled the situation and let her opinion of him reform. There was something different in her gaze after that–something akin to pity that had him questioning himself. 

You can do better than them. 

Could he? That had thrown him off. He was Steve “The Hair” Harrington. He was destined to be be Mr. Popular and hang out with jerks like Tommy and Carol, because they deserved each other. He was a kid running away from a home that didn’t want him and towards the parties and drinks and girls that kept him distracted. He was the face he put on when everyone around him looked his way, the grin and nice clothes and nothing more. 

He was sure of it until he started dating Nancy Wheeler. 

Because like Y/N, Nancy was good. She seemed to see the better in him–the better he still didn’t quite believe was there. 

You can do better than them. 

But then he was breaking Jonathan’s camera. He sensed Nancy drifting away. He got into that fight, and he was back to square one. 

He was back to only Tommy and Carol, their laughing grating against his ears as he nursed his battered face with a can of coke. And that’s when it hit him. 

Maybe he didn’t deserve better. Maybe he never would. But he could change. He could do better, be better. 

“Carol, for once in your life, shut your damn mouth,” he spat. 

She looked at him, confused. “What?”

Tommy jumped to her defense. “What’s your problem, man?”

And Steve looked at them. Really looked at them. The faces they put on. The grins. The clothes. He saw himself, and he hated it. 

“You’re both assholes, that’s my problem.”

The argument was short. He ran away from the fight he knew he would lose. His tires squealed, but he felt… free, somehow. 

Y/N had seen better in him. So had Nancy. Maybe, with a little work, he could learn to see it, too.

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