#did you know if you want private student loans you need to either have a (good) credit score or be cosigned be someone who does?

[omegasmileyface]

somebody has GOT to start giving me large amounts of money just for being cool PLEASE im DYING over here

[qqueenofhades]

PERSPECTIVE Q FOR U if you have the time!! Ive always dreamed of going back to school but my performance in undergrad was so unbalanced (straight A's for 3 semesters, then a withdrawal, then more A's then failing then incomplete etc.) And while my professors were incredible (and even asked me to do join a phd in archiving WHICH I SHOULD HAVE DONE!!!!!) and i remember almost everything we read and learned i didnt have a lot of direction and was im afraid a p mediocre student in the end. Since then i've been in government in DC and its been fantastic getting some impactful policy experience and the like but at this point its been almost half a decade out of school and i dont even know how to begin!! The trump "administration" was such a bonkers time to be a civil servant lol but DID help clarify the things i want now and the goals i want to achieve (crazy stuff like "feed hungry ppl," and "don't fuck up the earth too badly") almost definitely mean i have to go back for something. Idk do you have any colleagues/personal experience in making these kinds of academic pivots? I dont have any huge pedigree either im a state school scholarship girlie and the informational interviews ive done with dc area nonprofits and things have left me....less than impressed (lots of ivy leagues, lots of uhh baseline assumptions). Ok sorry this got long and reminiscent of reddit i'd love to hear your thoughts!

As ever, my advice would start with: is it financially feasible, do you know what degree you want (i.e. public policy, politics, economics, global affairs, is it something related to your present work or a total 180) and what school you want to go to, are you in the position to leave your current job, etc.?

Since you've been in the workforce for a while, that's practical experience that would help, and be easy to demonstrate for why you need the degree to enhance your career. If they do have questions about your uneven undergraduate transcript, hopefully you could get in contact with some old professors who could vouch for you and confirm that they invited you to the PhD program. Then again, graduate schools tend to be fairly forgiving as long as you can make a good case for why you want to join their program and adequately explain your previous academic career. I work at a good/highly-ranked private school, and our minimum GPA for admission to a graduate program is only 2.5. So there is probably more leeway than you think, if you're worried about your undergrad grades being an issue, and it's not like you have to be 4.0 in everything. Practical experience and a solid track record in a relevant field will also be helpful in demonstrating that you've done more since that time.

Likewise, and as ever: what is the financial situation? Are you in a position to leave your job, if that was to be necessary, and what kind of financial aid package can they give you? Is it mostly grants or mostly loans? Do you have, say, a partner who can continue to work and support you? Does the graduate program offer tuition support and/or a living stipend? As I've said before, they really should be paying YOU to do an advanced degree, rather than anything out of your own pocket. Is it possible to go half-time or full-time, and do you know how you want to apply it to your career when you're finished? Is there maybe an online program where you could take classes in the evening and/or in between work, or do you want the full campus experience? Do you perhaps just want a professional certificate or other enhancement to your qualifications, without having to spend the time and money on a full graduate degree?

Anyway, I obviously do support you if this is something you decide to pursue, and I think it's plenty doable. You'll have to do some logistics planning on your end and clarify what you want and where you want to go and what they'll give you in terms of money, but it's definitely something that can be achieved!

[josenoelrobles]

Never Stop Learning: Unlocking Endless Potential

Introduction If you’re not growing, you’re dying. This bold statement might sound extreme, but it perfectly captures the essence of continuous learning. In today’s rapidly changing world, resting on your laurels can lead to obsolescence faster than ever. So why do so many of us stop learning once we leave formal education? The importance of always learning is not just a platitude; it’s a vital strategy for personal, professional, and financial success. Personal Experience I don't know about you but I wouldn't say I liked school very much. And this is a feeling that I carried with me my entire life. When I was in elementary school those first years were awful for me—being separated from my family to spend all day with a group of strangers listening to a person who was talking about stuff that I didn't know anything about. Middle school was a time of changes that brought a lot of questions and challenges on a personal level and didn't see the education that I was receiving at school being able to help me with my real personal problems. In high school was an even bigger disappointment because technically my parents bought my high school diploma. I went to a private school in which I completed all my high school years in only 11 months. All I needed to do was to show up and that was it. So I didn't learn anything valuable other than how to party. As an adult, I did go to college. I did it for 2 years. But I did it online. I ended up with a $68,000 debt on student loans which I still owed about $25,000 and I never graduated. I didn't learn anything in college that I was able to apply to my business and my personal life. At least nothing remarkable that brought big positive changes. You see, I never had a good experience with the school and education system. So I always thought that education was a waste of time. The problem for me was that I was making the mistake of combining school and education together. I thought that in order to learn and educate myself I needed to go to school. Nowadays, that cannot be farther from the truth. We have the world at our fingertips. We have more technology on our phones than what the United States used to go to the moon the first time. And we have access to all the information in the world that we want in just a few seconds. One of the easiest ways in my opinion to learn something that could change and transform your life are books. There have been 2 books that have changed my life forever. The first one is the Bible and the second one is called No Excuses The Power Of Self Discipline By Brian Tracy. Whether you are a Christian or not, and whatever your opinion may be about the Bible, you should give it a try. I guarantee you that you will learn some things that will change your life forever. You can start with the book in the Bible called Proverbs. There is so much wisdom shared there, that your life will never be the same. And it will help you make better and wiser decisions for sure. Don't look at the Bible as a religious book. Look at it as a book full of wisdom and teachings because that is what it is. Among other things of course but for the sake of the argument, just give it the chance to teach you something that has nothing to do with religion. No Excuses The Power Of Self Discipline By Brian Tracy taught me that everything is under my control. My present is a reflection of my past decisions. I cannot blame the economy, my parents, my boss, my past relationships, my lack of this and that. And I should not blame myself either. All I have to do is take action. Do something. Is up to me whether I want to achieve the things that I say that I want to achieve. If I am willing to pay the high price of success I can achieve it through hard work, dedication, and discipline. My life has never been the same since I read that book. Not only because it taught me so much with the information that the book has, but because it taught me that I can learn valuable lessons that can transform and change my life forever without the need for me to go to school. Lessons that I can apply right away in my life, my business, and my personal life. Lessons that will have immediate impact and I don't have to wait 4 years to put them into practice and to have a diploma that validates that I learned something. That book was the beginning of a healthy habit of learning. Nowadays I learn something new literary every day. And all of this is intentional. I try to read, listen, or watch something every day that is educational. I try not to waste my time doing things unproductive. See that I used the keyword, try, because sometimes I do. But I emphasize learning something every day. And back then you had to actually take the time and open a book and read. So for many, that was not an easy task to do; including me. But now it is so easy to learn that nobody has any excuses why not to do it. You can read, watch, and listen to books at any time. If you like to read you can go to your local library and borrow the books so it will be free. And if you don't like to read you can listen to audiobooks during your commute time from and to work. And if you do not want to pay for the audiobooks you can listen to free podcasts that will teach you pretty much everything that you want to learn and more. And if those options are not good enough for you and you don't like to read or listen to educational material; go to YouTube and watch explainers videos that summarize books. You see, we have no excuses for why are we stuck in the same place and why are we not moving forward and achieving the things that we want to achieve. The things that you already know brought you as far as you have gotten. If you want to achieve new and different things, you have to learn new things. It is as simple as that. And to be honest, is not easy to start a new habit. Especially one that requires some much discipline. Trust me, is not like I jump out of bed excited to open a book and read. I have to force myself to open that book and start reading. But once I start reading, it feels amazing when I start learning something that I didn’t know. Because I can visualize immediately how I can apply what I am learning to my life and I can see the potential benefits that can and will bring to me and my family. So no more excuses. If you want to see different results in your life you have to start doing different things. Open a book, listen to it, or watch a summary of it. Take advantage of the struggles that others have gone through and their experiences so you can suffer a little less than the authors of these books and perhaps achieve more than they did even in a faster and better way. It is up to you. Nobody will do it for you. The time is now and not tomorrow because we only have today because tomorrow is not guaranteed. The world evolves and changes rapidly. If you don't keep learning you will be left behind. And so will be your dreams and goals. And even if you already achieve some success you have to keep learning for the same reasons. The world changes all the time. So if you want to keep what you already have the same rules apply. We are living in a new era of AI. It is very exciting for some and very scary for others. For me, I am in the fence. But I am starting to learn and use it because I know is not going anywhere. And if I don't jump on the AI ship, and I will be left behind at short. One more time, no excuses, we have to do the hard work. The Data: Facts and Figures The value of continuous learning is backed by compelling data. According to a report by the World Economic Forum, by 2025, 50% of all employees will need reskilling due to technological advancements and changing job landscape. Moreover, a survey conducted by LinkedIn Learning found that 94% of employees would stay at a company longer if it invested in their career development. A study by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that lifelong learning can increase earnings by 10-15%. This is because continuous learning keeps individuals competitive and adaptable in an ever-changing job market. The Problem: Why We Stop Learning Problem 1: Complacency Many people become complacent after reaching a certain level of success. They believe their current knowledge and skills are sufficient to maintain their status quo. Problem 2: Fear of Failure Fear of failure or embarrassment can prevent individuals from pursuing new learning opportunities. This fear often stems from a fixed mindset, where people believe their abilities are static. Problem 3: Lack of Time Busy schedules and demanding jobs can leave little time for additional learning. Many people feel they don’t have the luxury of time to invest in further education. The Solution: Embracing Continuous Learning Step 1: Adopt a Growth Mindset A growth mindset, as popularized by Carol Dweck, is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. This mindset fosters a love for learning and resilience in the face of challenges. Step 2: Leverage Online Resources The internet has made learning more accessible than ever. Websites like Coursera, Udemy, and Khan Academy offer courses on a wide range of topics, often for free or at a low cost. Step 3: Make Learning a Habit Integrate learning into your daily routine. This could be as simple as reading a book, listening to a podcast, or dedicating 30 minutes a day to an online course. Consistency is key. Step 4: Seek Feedback and Mentorship Engage with mentors or peers who can provide feedback and guidance. Constructive criticism can highlight areas for improvement and inspire further learning. Step 5: Apply What You Learn Knowledge without application is futile. Ensure that you apply new skills and knowledge in your personal and professional life. This not only reinforces learning but also demonstrates its value. Conclusion Continuous learning is not a luxury but a necessity in today’s fast-paced world. Whether it’s for personal growth, professional development, or business success, the importance of always keeping learning cannot be overstated. By adopting a growth mindset, leveraging online resources, making learning a habit, seeking feedback, and applying new knowledge, you can unlock endless potential and stay ahead of the curve. Remember, the journey of learning never ends, and it’s the key to unlocking a brighter, more successful future. Read the full article

[lets-talk-spirituality]

See I get the need to clear internal spiritual blocks on a cerebral level in order to manifest the job, love, or life I really want but to even be able to have the energy to do that while not having basic needs met is a struggle. Of course I should always be calling those things in but I don’t have the luxury of not worrying about my day to day life to truly welcome those things in with my full energy (outside of doing the actual work of applying to jobs, writing new cover letters, prepping for interviews, networking). Living paycheck to paycheck and having to choose which foods I can afford on a given week is really dehumanizing and I know I’m not the only one hurting in this way.

So yeah, I appreciate the spirituality sentiment of attracting things into one’s life, but sometimes you just need more than that.

Right so it’s like the hierarchy of needs. Why are your basic needs not being met and is there a way to meet them? When I was depressed I really had no energy but going on a little trip to a work conference helped shake my energy up. Maybe doing something out of your ordinary will help. Going on that trip taught me to try to bring the wonder I feel in different places back home with me and to treat where I live as if I’m a visitor. That helped me unstick my energy.

I get where you are. I struggled financially for most of my early twenties til like 25, so like 18-25? I’m still not like rich. I have a ton of credit card debt like most people. I worked multiple jobs and did side gigs. I worked full time in marketing, free lanced, did video work on the side and had a hostess job all at once. And I was very frugal and fearful around money. That energy helped me pay off my private student loan.

I don’t really know your whole situation such as cost of living where you are, the kind of jobs you’re seeking and the kind of job you’re working. Capitalism is bullshit and we’re all struggling. But I also think we can become almost blinded to creative solutions because we can’t see beyond this one idea of what we want. Idk what country you live in either, but like in America there are a ton of jobs hiring. Not all are easy or ideal but they do pay money.

You may have to adjust what you want to do to what you have to or to what needs to be done. That’s sometimes the harsh reality of life. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get by. The only reason I ever lived in hustle culture was because I had to and it was hard and exhausting and I feel for people who have to work that hard to get by. But I had to do that for many years to get to the next step. And I’m about to take a second job working remote to help get my finances in order because I have money moves I have to make soon. You just do what you gotta do.

Do you have food stamps or public assistance where you live? If so I wholeheartedly say get on it. Take support where you can. If pride is holding you back, examine that. There are places you can get food I think like food banks. I work at a food pantry. There are creative solutions you can find.

Anyway I never said spirituality to attract things fixes everything or is enough in a broken system, but that ask asked about clearing blockages spiritually. Specifically blockages around relationships and jobs. I’m not saying to just try to attract more. I’m saying go out and do what you have to do to move out of survival mode and at the same time try shift your energy to be at the frequency to bring more to yourself. It’s a balance of reality and spirituality.

[goron-king-darunia]

People in the USA die from bleeding out in hospitals. You know. The place you're meant to go to in an emergency. The place where they make you wait only if you're, like, not actively bleeding out. Everywhere that I can think of has a shortage of doctors. And that's because if there are fewer doctors than patient loads, patients cannot be picky about which doctor the insurance will let them see because there AREN'T ANY OTHERS. Medical school takes longer than any other profession and is more expensive unless you can prove yourself worthy of the very limited free money the government is willing to give. Patients during COVID had an all time high dissatisfaction rate because... If you saved their life, they would blame you for the pain of the ventilator and how long it took and how much it costed because "I could have just gotten better on my own without as much pain." But if they die even with the best treatment... then the family blames you for how severe their COVID was, even though they came in when they were actively not breathing as opposed to sooner when they knew it was COVID, and they insist that you, the doctor or nurse who tried everything, simply didn't try at all and aren't good for anything, all because they refused to listen to CDC guidelines and went and got Grandma sick and you couldn't perform miracles. Basically, being a doctor almost anywhere in the world is an expensive degree that eats up 8 years of your life or more to get, and leads to a thankless job that most people who got into it for the philanthropy and helping others only stay in because the paycheck is the biggest around and even then it's STILL not enough to cover those massive student loan debts. If we had more programs dedicated to paying 100% tuition of students with great grades who want to be doctors, maybe things would be better. Maybe if we didn't have so many zoning laws and gave preferential treatment to medical facilities buying up old properties, maybe things would be better. Maybe if consultations were free or paid by insurance with no questions asked and we had enough doctors to be available for just these consultations, nothing else, just diagnostics and referrals, so your Aunt Brenda can get that embarrassing rash looked at this month instead of waiting 6 years to bring it up with her PCP and by that time it's either necrotic or cancer, maybe things would improve. Maybe if we treated healthcare as a right the same way we treat border security as a right and spent as much money as we do on the military on the health of our people, then things would be better. But we wouldn't need all that money. The USA spends more on healthcare than any other developed nation and yet we receive some of the worst if not THE worst care from our doctors in exchange. We might not actually need more doctors. Just better triage and scheduling. But you know what would really help? If the doctors that we DID have didn't bar access to care based on insurance. And if we did need more doctors? Basic incentives should help. I think we can all agree that the highly specialized task of being a doctor which takes several years of your life to train for should be the one profession we shell out extra grants for to pay for their education. If we're allowed to dangle the carrot of free healthcare and education as incentives for joining the military, we could dangle at LEAST the carrot of "free education" if you want to be a doctor and have the grades for it. If we treated healthcare like a right. Something everyone deserves, then everyone would demand good care. If we all demanded good care and it was one governmental responsibility to provide that care instead of 18 different private medical conglomerates that are richer than god, we would only have to fight one fight if that care was insufficient. If we all had one single pool of money dedicated for care, instead of a pool for the poor, a pool for the middle class, a pool for the rich, and a pool for the Jeff Bezos rich, then all that tax money could be in one place for one purpose. Getting more doctors, approving more coverage, building more medical facilities in places that need them. Nationalized health care would not fix EVERYTHING. But it would fix some of the things. And while I also prefer full measures over half measures, a half measure is better than sitting and twiddling our thumbs and insisting there's nothing we can do because "what if the change makes it worse?" If the change makes it worse, we undo the change. Or we make more changes until everything improves. If you're too afraid of things getting worse before they can get better, then nothing will ever get better. If you never change anything, then nothing can EVER get better.

Just read yet another article about a Canadian dying because of long wait times and I STILL fail to see how your communist healthcare is better than America's. Here people don't die in waiting rooms

This isn't to say that wait times aren't an issue, I'm just saying the alternative is a lot worse.

Canada's healthcare system is good in principal, it just needs to actually be supported by governments instead of gutted with austerity (which is the cause of the wait times in Canada, not "Communism").

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[Originally posted April 27, 2022]

Biden has signaled that he may be open to considering the idea of canceling some student loan debt, and Republicans on twitter are freaking out like he just declared himself Chairman and is coming to kill all the capitalists.

They're bending over backwards to say that canceling student loan debt is a bad thing. They say that only idiots and liberals have debts, that it's entirely their fault and the debt is deserved, that they shouldn't have to foot the bill for other people going to college, but they fundamentally misunderstand how anything works. Conservative kids go to school too, you know. Republicans aren't all high school drop outs. They have debts, and stand to gain from this just as much as anyone else. The media is saying that canceling debts would give another break to rich people, but rich people don't have student loan debts because they can afford to pay out of pocket. Everyone I know who has debt is dirt poor, so the idea that debt relief is a scam to bail out irresponsible rich kids is bullshit.

And speaking of bailouts, people seem to forget that you don't get to pick and choose what your tax dollars pay for; you don't want to pay for someone else's student loan debts, but you already have to pay for every corporate bailout and subsidy. Every time some trillion dollar company gets a tax break, you foot the bill. Trickle down economics has been funneling money from the bottom to the top for forty years; reverse Robin Hood, the rich steal from the poor. Your tax dollars pad executive pockets, and you're mad that poor people might start to suffer less? I'm sorry if you're a libertarian who thinks all tax is theft, but that's how society works! You pay taxes, you get benefits; the more you pay in taxes, the less you pay to private businesses.

Well, in most countries.

In the United States you pay higher taxes and get nothing in return; no healthcare, no public utilities, no transit, nada. We're so used to going without that as soon as anyone proposes sensible reforms, all the right-wingers shit their pants in fear and calls it communism. Other countries have nice things, so why can't we? If we pay a little bit more in taxes, we pay a LOT LESS in education and healthcare. It's an algebra problem; < or >, which side is bigger? If everyone pools their resources, people can take what they need when they need it, so nobody has to go broke; if you're unwilling to help your community, your statesmen, your countrymen, then you don't deserve the benefits either.

There's an anti-intelectual talking point that college is exclusively for liberal elites, or that it's a leftist snowflake factory that turns hard working red blooded Americans into woke gender-neutral pansies; if that's the case, then why do any Republican politicians go to college? If college is brainwashing, then why are so many senators Ivy League graduates? If going to college changes you and makes you believe something you don't believe, then how did any of them make it out of there even more conservative than before? If you say that they were strong willed and able to reject the brainwashing, then you're admitting that brainwashing doesn't work; and if you counter by saying that it does work but only on weak minded fools and that Republicans are just better at ignoring it, then you're calling yourself a weak minded fool because you're afraid you'd succumb to it! Why do you hold your leaders to a higher standard than yourself? Why do you keep making exceptions for them? "This is a bad thing, unless they do it, then it's okay!" Why do you think they're better than you?

Education isn't a taboo.

Intelligence is not a vice.

Ignorance is not a virtue.

College should be accessible to everyone who wants to attend, and it shouldn't be seen as an indoctrination machine because it very clearly isn't. Student loan debt cancelation isn't some unearned reward for leftists. It isn't bribery ahead of the midterms. It isn't a punishment for uneducated people to pick up the slack. It is the leveling of a playing field that has been lopsided for too long. If good jobs require degrees, then everybody should be able to get a degree without 5 or 6 figures of debt weighing them down. That's a bullshit catch-22; you need to pay a ton of money for the chance to earn more money. Debt cancelation eliminates that hurdle. If you think that you should only go to college if you can afford it outright, then you're saying that only rich elites deserve good jobs; which is it? Do you hate rich elites, or do you want them in charge of everything? Pick a lane, and stay in it!

TLDR: student loan relief benefits everyone at the bottom, regardless of ideology. They would rather have us fight a culture war against one another than unite to fight a class war against them.

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: Roommate HCs [V1]

To be honest, I just wanted to ramble some more and let my brainworms take over. This is sorta late but Happy Valentine’s everyone! I was gonna post this earlier but this honestly took me a long time to write so I moved it to today. 

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. Seriously, as much as I love writing this non-serious fics. Why do you people like this?

—

Based off my ramblings with Keqing anon: Link

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @kaechu @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife​  @dokidokisama @rokipersonal​@minakohasmanyhusbandos​ @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess​ @yuu-yuukurotsuki​ @hanniejji​  @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii​ @stanzastic @akaasea​ @xoneaboveallx​ @adoring-ghost​ @asheseiler​ @childelover​ @dilucsz​ @dai-tsukki-desu​ @thicmitten​ @nonniechan​ @htnicayh​ @genshins1mpact​ 

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Diluc

What? Diluc has a roommate? Did you blackmail him in living with you? Is that even possible? Did you throw yourself in front of his car because you needed someone to pay for your student loans and the easiest way was to file a lawsuit? In this economy no one would blame you. Diluc seems like such the self-isolated character that would murder his roommate in cold blood but in reality, he act’s detached from the world because he forgot how to socialize and he’s desperately trying to cover it up without choking. That or he’s trying to learn how to astral project. If he could drink away the pain he would but instead he buys 20 packs of grape Kool-Aid and injects it into his veins. 

Does not and will not ever have a normal sleeping schedule. You’ll wake up to him working, come back home to him working, and will sleep to him still working. His daily dose of Vitamin D is from the brightness of his screen rather than the sun and he’s filter feeding at this point. It’s concerning. He’s going to crumble and he’s bringing the world down with him. Through the power of tax evasion. But as soon as he needs to walk out into society, he pulls movie magic and looks like perfection. It’s both physically and mentally disgusting. 

He’s actually is a really nice roommate to have just so long as you give him space. Great cook and knows to clean up after himself. Though he does have crash and burn days where’s he’s completely out of commission. You could set the entire apartment on fire and he would sleep through it. The entire two weeks are dedicated to zombie eye marathons and then he’ll suddenly collapse and sleep for 46 hours straight. When he wakes up from his hibernation he’s the most groggy and nonsensical person. His life blood is coffee because you keep hiding the 5 hour energy away from him because, you know, life is enjoyable and those cancer bottles will actually kill him.  

“University sucks our money out of our bodies faster than our will to live.” 

Beidou [Happy Birthday Queen 💕]

Despite her appearance, she’s actually really strong and it scares the piss out of you when you’re doing something or scrolling through your phone mindlessly and you suddenly get your spine re-arranged when she slaps you on the back to ask what you’re doing. Likewise, when she hoists you up and throws you over her shoulder so you come with her on her 3am convivence store raids for alcohol. It’s either you change now or else we’re walking out of the apartment in your t-shirt and no pants self. She can and will carry you under her arm that way. It’s both incredibly attractive and horrifying at the same time. 

She’s really friendly and a great talker if you’re alright with her “I must hold you in my arms, fresh prince of bel air style”. It doesn’t matter if you’re taller than her, she’s doing it. She does however, get in a bit of trouble from her rowdiness and you often get noise complaints but Beidou just passes them off to Ningguang and everything is fixed. She has ovaries of steel when neighbors rather confront her personally and she’s ready to 1v1 in the parking lot. You’re trying to desperately hold onto her shirt to stop her from pile driving your neighbors for the third time this week but she’s too strong.  

She’s constant party until we die attitude and suffers the hangover in the morning. It’s actually really funny to catch her in her hangover moods because whatever filter Beidou had, which is none, is gone. She really takes “cursing like a sailor” or the next level and the amount of creativity she comes up with is actually impressive. She can be a bit messy but she’s really likeable and always down to go anywhere with you as long as you’ll do the same. It’s a very ride together, we die together situation. You’re my best friend, you’re dying with me. I’ll see you in hell. 

“Imma T pose over my dad and then crash the car into the parking garage.” 

Kaeya

Kaeya on the surface seems like such a chill roommate. And he is for the most part. But he’s such an ass. Your things are his things, no questions asked. If you just bought a really nice sweater or you had leftover food, that’s his now. He’s innocent until proven guilty even if he’s literally holding your lunch. The pure amount of bullshit he can spit out to convince you that no, he did not pull the fire alarm because he wanted an excuse for not going to work, puts him on Shakespeare level. He’s also very pretty, way too pretty, sir can you share some of your genes? 

But aside from that, he’s actually super dependable. You forgot something at home? Sure, he has nothing better to do so he can bring them for you. We’re missing eggs? No problem, he’s just by the store. You’re 95% sure that he just wants to be cheeky and make you thank him for 20 minutes before he actually hands you what you asked for. It’s better for you if you never tell him anything you’re afraid of because Kaeya has no social cues, or more like he throws them out the window, and he’s probably a psychopath. 

He’s incredibly private of his room and things despite his attitude towards yours. You’re convinced he either has a secret lab or that’s where he’s storing the bodies. I was the good guy but due to unfortunate circumstances, I need to stab a bitch. But he’s a really good serious talker for those 3am, because everything happens at 3am, talks about life and the meaning of the universe. It absolutely wrecks your sleep schedule but some of the things you talk about are the most crackhead things like what’s the lowest amount of money someone would have to pay you to walk outside without clothes? It’s a legitimate question. 

“Never before have I been so offended with something I 100% agree with.”

Jean

Okay, what world did you save in a past life to live with his absolutely wonderful woman? Mother Teresa take a load off, take a seat. You have nothing to worry about. She’ll bring home little treats back home and it’s the most wholesome thing ever?? Is this what love and affection feels like? We’ve been starved for so long. She says it’s not a big deal and anyone would do it BUT THE MOMENT SOMEONE BUYS FOOD FOR YOU. IT’S A MAGICAL MOMENT. They are forever stuck in your will until proven otherwise. An absolute ray of sunshine that must be protected. 

She does get super busy so you don’t often see each other or get to hang out as much. She’s a bit of a workaholic but a lot more easier to talk her into taking a break. She’s also a pretty decent cook but she prefers baking and jesus christ, girl can you calm down? Be still my beating heart, I’ve been smitten. Has mother hen vibes that you’re not sure if she’s your roommate or if she adopted you into her family. It’s time to start a petition for the Jean protection squad. Given the opportunity, I would aggressively hold your hand. 

She’s always open to whatever you want to do. Any recommendations or things that you like she will try out at least once despite her busy schedule. She’s lowkey lonely because work consumes her so any time you want to hang out or do something together, she jumps on it like she’s feral. She get’s a bit shy to ask if she can join in on your plans because she doesn’t want to bother you or intrude no matter how many times you tell her that’s okay, she still get’s a bit iffy about it. Please save this girl before she trips. In your arms. Platonically. Just kidding haha. Unless?

“I can’t wait to see you happy and not hating everyone again haha.”

Childe

First impressions of Childe were great, until he opened his mouth and you realized how much of a two brain cell child(e) he was. He has two braincells because they constantly have to 1v1 in his brain. He’s lived with a lot of siblings so he has no social awareness or concept of privacy that you’re lucky if you come home and he’s half-dressed. It doesn’t matter if you’re 2 weeks older than him, he’s going to call you 82 years old and why your bones aren’t being fossilized at this point. He’s such a little shit, this fucker licks the yogurt lid peel.  

He get’s really restless when he’s stuck under house arrest, because apparently 1v1ing in the parking lot of a Wendy’s is illegal for some reason, so he makes dying whale noises until he get’s to go outside again. But he’s actually a really wholesome guy, probably because of his younger siblings, that he’ll sometimes get you something because you seemed down and it’s such whiplash? Who is this man and where did he come from? You’re starting to have a change of heart before he tells you that he got banned from the library for accidently punching the school’s computer. How you “accidently” punch something you have no idea but Childe always comes home with some sort of injury. Maybe he’s just incredibly clumsy. For your sanity, you’re going to go with that. 

He’s actually so uncultured that it’s crippling. You can’t blame him too much considering his upbringing and it’s great that he’s so interested in learning new things but...child no...It makes you want to take your spine out of your ass and rip it like a Beyblade. Watching him take chopsticks and stab his food like it’s marshmallows makes you want to fall into a blackhole and let the chair consume you. 

“I, too, fantasize about beating the living shit out of people.”

---

Is this another tag yourself game cause I resonate with Diluc. I’m crying in insomnia. As much as I enjoy writing these fics I absolutely hate tagging them. I remember I used to have a tag anon but that was back when I wrote for bnha. 

Valentine’s Day was fun tho. I had a drinking game with friends as we played league then ended it off with a movie night. 

[thessalian]

Thess vs Being an Immigrant

WIth things a little more set up for this evening’s D&D session, I did a thing that was either going to depress me too much to play at all or really put me in the mood to go full-on feral: I looked at the news.

The Tories are ... bad, okay? They’re mega-super-ultra bad. Problem is, Keir Starmer, the leader of the Labour party, is giving worse and worse takes on everything, every time he turns around. He keeps going on about how he will Make Brexit Work, without actually explaining how, and I tolerated it only because I was hoping he was saving the “I’m going to at least get us back into the single market if the EU can ever forgive us the Tory issues” bombshell for when he was safe in office. He keeps going on about how strikes shouldn’t be happening and Labour MPs should not be on the picket lines, never mind that the entire fucking Labour party was started by labour unions; that is why they are the Labour party, because I was hoping that he was saving the “Everybody needs to sit down, shut up, and make sure people get proper pay and job security, and they shouldn’t need strikes to make their voices heard” bombshell for when he was safe in office. I tolerated a lot because frankly he seemed - and honestly still somewhat seems - better than the alternative.

Thing is, his issue today is ... well, the NHS. Because it always comes back to the NHS. Or, more specifically, using the NHS to underline, highlight, and carve in stone how much he’s actually supporting the mess of a Brexit we have. Because his comment has been, “We’re recruiting too many people from overseas! We don’t want open borders! Points-based system! Freedom of Movement is gone and it’s never coming back, so it’s time to hire BRITISH!”

...’scuse me? Sir? That’s going to be a problem. Here are the reasons why, from someone who has worked in or at least with the NHS for decades:

While not at US level yet, UK university costs more than just about anywhere in Europe. Interest rates are sky-high, making loans a problematic prospect at best. Add to that the cost of living increase, which is going to hit university students particularly hard, and the number of people who can actually qualify to work in the health care sector drops dramatically.

So let’s talk about nurses. There used to be bursaries for people to qualify for nursing, free of charge. I know because I was actively considering it at one point. Then the Tories nuked it. Unless you want to bring that back, welp, we’re still screwed in terms of the financial outlay required for nursing training.

“Ah,” I hear you say, “but the wealthy could do it!” Except ... why would they want to? We have all heard the stories about the NHS and how the government has been treating it - everyone. The pay’s crap (which is why so many doctors also run private practices, which reduces the overall availability of doctors), the stress is unbelievable, the hours expected are ludicrous, and the government has a tendency to try to make their lives even more miserable in the name of false economy. So the wealthy will probably want cushier jobs, since ‘doctor’ is not a profession that denotes wealth, status, and prestige anymore. As for nursing? I can’t see that at all, given what a nurse has to do day-to-day.

Even if all of those issues were fixed tomorrow (AND THEY WON’T BE; WE ALL KNOW THIS), training up medical professionals takes time. Years of study, more years being shadowed by senior doctors before real, proper qualification happens. Rush that, and you’re risking people’s lives. So it will be minimum 5-10 years before a meaningful number of British people could qualify to work as healthcare professionals even with abolition of university fees, the return of the university grant, and the salvation of the economy from its current shambles. We can’t wait a decade to fix this. Therefore, our only hope is to get already trained people in the interim and then we can talk about how to get more British people qualified to work in the health sector.

Starmer has to learn that waving the Brexit flag is not going to have the desired effect. Yeah, the people who still support Brexit are either exceedingly loud or, worse, quiet but powerful (say, the ERG). But just because they’re loud doesn’t mean there are all that many of them. A lot of people who were for Brexit during the vote are starting to rethink now, especially when at least one expert made no bones about stating, loudly and clearly, how much Brexit has to do with our current economic shambles.

“Labour has pledged to take on an extra 7.5k medical students every year if their party wins the next general election”, they say. Okay ... how? Who pays for it? What’s the economy going to look like in two years that means that this is possible? Even if the numbers can somehow be massaged to make that possible, that’s extra medical students who have only just started training. See above re: it takes time to train a doctor.

You know, this country keeps making it clearer and clearer how much it hates me. It hates me because I’m disabled. It hates me because I’m queer in any way you care to name. And, for all “they don’t mean me” because I’m white, they hate that I wasn’t born here. My paternal grandparents were, sure, but I was not. So every time they talk about immigrants, they are talking about me. I don’t care if they mean ‘the bad ones’; the ones who don’t speak English as their first language, or are darker of skin tone, or live in a country just across the Channel that they keep insulting at every turn. I am an immigrant, and I’m not even a citizen, so everything they are saying, they are saying about me. Because I am no different than anyone else who lives and works here but wasn’t born here. In fact, I’m nowhere near as well-educated or well-qualified as most of them.

I mean, I hate it here anyway. I hate this country as much as it hates me. So maybe I shouldn’t care. But I do. I know a lot of people can relate to feeling like their country hates them because of who they are. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse if the country isn’t even yours but you’re stuck in it, with it hating you the whole way.

Suffice to say, I’m still going to vote Labour but only because the Tories are still, unbelievably, worse, and voting for anyone else guarantees the Tories a win. Especially given that the next general election is going to involve voter ID and government oversight over the Elections Committee, and when you add that to First Past The Post, shaking the Tories is going to be hard enough without trying to swing Lib Dem or the Greens into 10 Downing Street. We’re a two-party system in all but name, honestly. Besides, Lib Dem and the Greens have been keeping their heads down lately. I have a feeling that neither of them really want to win the next election because whoever does is going to have the hugest mess to clean up and no one really wants it. Except the Tories, probably, who are profiting off of making it worse.

Still not sure if angry or too depressed to cope. But at least there’ll be some fun later. Time for a trip to the shops, food, and painkillers, I think.

[monstersandmaw]

Male drider x reader (sfw) - Part One

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

It’s Wednesday, so that means it’s ‘new’ story time. This one has been up on Patreon for a week already, and Part Two has gone live today already.

Content: Female reader takes up a job as an archivist in a creepy old house and is surprised to find that 'the master' refuses to be seen at all... Very much ‘Beauty and the Beast’ inspired, if you will. Cameos from Sarrigan Silkfoot and Damien the orc chocolatier (Tumblr links). Wordcount: 2464

EDIT: my favourite comment from patrons on part two has been ‘cranky spooder’

WANTED: Librarian to take on an extensive, re-cataloguing project in a large, private collection. Diverse collection includes books, clay and stone tablets, scrolls, parchments, and various other media.  Applicant must be willing to live on-site in a relatively remote location, and archival qualifications preferred, though demonstrable experience may suffice. Board and lodging will be provided throughout the duration of the project. It is anticipated that it should take between four to six months. More details to be supplied to the candidate following a successful interview.

---

You stared at the strange advert in the paper and let your teeth sink slowly into your lip, a frown playing across your forehead. This was… honestly right up your street in terms of experience and qualifications. In that moment, sitting at the table in your favourite coffee shop in Starfall Springs while a summer rain shower hammered down outside, you wanted to wave that advertisement in the face of everyone who’d said a postgraduate qualification in archive and records management would render you essentially bankrupt and completely unemployable. If this was anything to go by, they were only half wrong. You were practically bankrupt. Well, up to your eyeballs in student loans at least.

“Fuck it,” you hissed under your breath, ripping out the advert and getting out your phone. There was no email contact, but there was a number, and you saved it to your contacts in case you lost the little shred of newspaper, and decided to call as soon as you got home.

The phone wasn’t exactly your preferred method of communication, but it was all you had, so after psyching yourself up, you punched in the numbers and paced about, waiting for someone to answer.

Abruptly, the dial tone cut off, and a crackling on the other end of the line announced that someone had picked up. “Hello…? I’m… I’m calling about the archivist’s role advertised in the Starfall Chronicle… I was hoping for a bit more information.”

“Oh,” came a reedy, thin voice. “Your qualifications?”

You told them and then waited for them to speak.

“Hmm. And your experience?”

You swallowed. “I… I helped the Starfall Museum in transferring their computer system from the manual catalogues…” you said, suddenly feeling like this was the interview already.

“Mmm. So your experience is not extensive then.”

It wasn’t a question, and you ground your teeth.

“Just how am I supposed to get this vast acreage of mythical experience if no one hires anyone without it? I can get you three stunning references from the museum curators and staff, as well as from my professors at university,” you said hotly. And instantly regretted it. “I’m sorry,” you added hastily. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Yes you did,” they chuckled, voice husky and fragile. “And you’re perfectly right. I think you might do well at this in fact.”

“I… what?”

Another soft snort. “What information would you like to know then?”

“Where is it, for a start?”

There was an uncomfortable pause, and you’d just been on the point of asking if they were still there when they spoke again. “There’s an old estate to the north of Starfall Springs.”

You frowned. You’d heard rumours as a child growing up here that there was some mad old nightmare creature who lived in the woods on the slopes of Starfall Mountain and came down into the town on the new moon snatched naughty children from their beds, but you'd long dismissed it as nonsense to make kids behave. Still, it sent a tingle of apprehension down your spine.

“I’ve heard something of it,” you said carefully. “Not much.”

“Widowsweb Court,” the person said with reticence. “The estate dates back centuries, and the collection is in need of some care and attention. If you would be willing to live on the estate in your own, self-contained apartment, with meals provided in the kitchens of the main house should you wish it, then I think you sound like the right person for the role.”

“When would you want me to start?”

In the end, it took you less than a month to get everything organised.

On the evening of your departure, you and your friends celebrated on Temple Meadow, the huge swathe of public park surrounding the town’s religious building, and as you lay back on the blanket, staring up at the sky and surrounded by friends, you saw a shooting star sear through the canopy of glimmering stars above.

Sarrigan Silkfoot and his partner lay curled up nearby, and Damien, the huge orc from the chocolaterie in town, had tucked his own partner’s head against the crook of his colossal shoulder. A thought occurred to you as you watched Sarrigan toss his head back and laugh at a joke whispered in his ear, and you sat up.

“Sarrigan?”

“Mm?” he hummed, laughter still dancing in his eight red eyes.

“I know you don’t talk much about your family, but do you know of any other estates around here?” You hadn’t mentioned exactly where the job was, just that it wasn’t in Starfall Springs itself.

“Why d’you ask?”

“The place I’m going to for this job is called Widowsweb Court, but the library said it’s been abandoned for years, and I couldn’t find much about it on the internet either.”

He went still at the mention of its name. “Widowsweb you say?”

You nodded and realised you had the attention of everyone in your small group.

Sarrigan straightened and tucked a strand of his long, black hair behind a tapering ear. “It used to be part of the Silkfoot family holdings… way, way back,” he began, gesturing with his hand. “But about four hundred years or so ago, there was a disagreement between the then patriarch of the family and the dowager, his mother. He essentially annexed the property and disowned the entire estate. He could have sold it, but apparently he felt just guilty enough not to turf her out onto the street…”

“Why? I mean, what did she do?”

Sarrigan shrugged. “No idea. Knowing my family, it probably had something to do with anti-human sentiments…” he winked at you and added, “We really didn’t like your kind invading these parts…”

“We’re not exactly a majority round here,” his partner said, thwacking him in the belly with the back of a hand.

“True,” he said before turning back to you. “But you’re saying someone actually lives there?”

Damien leaned across and grinned, “Could be a long-lost relative, Sarrigan!”

“Well, whoever my employer is, they have a huge collection to reorganise, so I’m in.”

“You don’t even know the name of the person who’s paying you?” Damien gawped.

You shook your head. “A Mr. Ambleside is taking care of that. He’s apparently employed to keep the estate running and such… He’s the one who interviewed me.”

“Ambleside is an old family name from these parts,” Sarrigan said thoughtfully. “Well, you make sure you keep in touch, hmm?”

“Will do,” you nodded.

The only problem was, you discovered after Damien had dropped you off and fussed endlessly over you outside the tumble-down gates of the estate, that there was no phone reception way out here. Not even a single, sputtering bar.

As the tail lights of Damien’s truck disappeared, you pushed the iron gates open, the hinges screeching in protest loud enough that you thought your arrival would be announced all the way back down into Starfall, a two hour drive away.

Heaving your huge suitcase into your hand, you began to struggle down the driveway. Overgrown, potholed, and muddy, the road was barely even a road after the recent rain.

Ancient, thick-boled trees hung over the drive, branches meeting in the middle like lovers fingers interlaced, and after half a mile of walking, you stopped, exhausted, and sat on your suitcase. You’d made it out of the small, gnarled copse that bordered the edge of the estate, but the parklands that lay beyond seemed to stretch for miles. The thought of hauling your sizable suitcase all that way made you feel faint, especially in the stifling sun. There was at least a cooling breeze that lifted your hair and caressed your skin, but honestly, it was hopeless.

Eventually, after perhaps a quarter of an hour of sitting there, getting warmer and thirstier, and growing no less exhausted, you caught sight of a movement on the driveway. Squinting, you made out a horse and cart, and sitting atop the driver’s bench, a figure with a wide-brimmed hat on their head.

The closer they got, the more you were able to make out, and when they were perhaps fifty yards away, you stood up. They looked to be an elderly firbolg, with warm-brown skin and flaming red hair and beard.

The horse was an elderly, bony looking thing, and the cart just as rickety, but the firbolg drew to a halt beside you and barked your name in a familiar voice.

“Mr. Ambleside?”

“Yes, that’s me,” he said. “You’re early.”

“A little, yes.”

“Well, climb in. Do you need a hand with your bag?”

You looked at it, and then at the height of the cart bed. “If you wouldn't mind?”

He nodded and climbed carefully down. You weren’t sure how old firbolgs got, but he didn’t exactly look young. Having said that, he hauled your bag into the back like it weighed nothing at all and then helped you up to sit beside him on the bench before turning the cart around and heading back up the driveway.

The house itself was nestled in a clump of massive elm trees, masked from view until almost the last moment. “I’ll show you to the cottage, and then you can come up to the house for some refreshments. You’ll start work tomorrow at nine.”

You nodded, not wanting to rock the proverbial boat. “Is it just you and… er… your - our - employer here then?” you ventured after a few minutes of silence with only the rumbling of the cart for background noise.

He shrugged. “My boy works here in the grounds too, and there’s Chiara who tends to the household. Other than that, yes. And the master, of course.”

“Will I be meeting him?” you asked.

Mr. Ambleside looked positively scandalised. “Oh heavens no!” he gasped.

“Right. I see. He’s… unwell?”

That drew a deep scowl from the firbolg’s thick, heavy brows. “No,” he said, but it sounded like he was buying time. “No, he’s not unwell. He just… prefers a solitary life. You are to enter through the back door to the kitchens, proceed up the route to the library that I will show you, and return the same way when you’re done, is that clear?”

“Perfectly,” you said, wondering just what you’d got yourself into.

“If you need to use a telephone at any time, you may use the landline in my office.”

That news came as a huge relief, and you clung to it as you were shown the slightly dusty stable-house apartment just across the courtyard from the main house. Widowsweb Court was a massive country pile, with filigree stonework and steeply pitched, slate-tiled roofs, and it wouldn’t have looked out of place in a horror movie.

Your first week passed without incident. You assessed the vast, rambling collection, and saw immediately that it would definitely take much, much longer than the six months for which you’d been contracted to get to grips with it and get it into a decent order. Even if you had a team of ten strong people to help you, there was no way you could reorganise all the shelves in the cavernous library. It was as large and as varied as any national archives, and contained books and scrolls on everything from ancient magic to the development of medicine in various countries across the world.

Travel journals were rammed in next to tomes on mathematics, poetry beside animal husbandry, and gemology beside botany. There was no scheme to it, and after two weeks, you nearly had a complete breakdown.

Covered in dust and suddenly vastly overwhelmed by the looming, dark bookshelves, you simply sat down on the floorboards and let your head fall forwards into your hands. This was a gargantuan effort for one person to tackle alone.

Something rattled in the stacks and you gasped, sitting up straight, heart hammering. “Hello?”

Silence followed, but after only another few seconds, you heard a skittering of limbs and the slam of a door. Except, there was only one doorway to the library, and it was behind you.

Standing somewhat shakily, you swiped your tears away and paced steadily along the floorboards towards the source of the noise. When you found nothing but dusty stacks and silent  books, you swallowed and turned away.

At supper that night, you ate with Mr. Ambleside and his son, Naril, who was perhaps a year or two younger than you, and looked very much like his father. Noticing your pensive expression, he leaned over and asked in his softly-articulated purr if everything was alright. “You look… I don’t know… Did something happen?”

You sighed, nudging food listlessly around your plate. “I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the project today…” you said. “And… I heard a noise in the library that startled me, that’s all.”

The two of them exchanged looks and then Mr. Ambleside said, “That was probably the master…”

“But I thought…” you began, though you hardly knew what you thought about the mysterious person who supposedly ran the estate, pulling all the strings from a hidden room in the old house and never revealing himself to anyone.

“Why do you think he wanted the collection organised?” Mr. Ambleside chuckled into his potatoes. “He’s an avid reader, but doesn’t have the patience to do it himself. Plus, he doesn’t see too well any more.”

“Oh,” you breathed. “All those books, and… that seems so cruel… Is he very old?”

Naril shook his head. “No, he’s maybe ten years or so older than us? Chiara reads to him in the evenings if his eyes get tired, and —”

“—Naril, that’s enough,” Mr. Ambleside barked, and Naril’s fluffy ears tucked right back against his head. “We do not gossip about the master.”

“Sorry, father,” he said, shooting you a look that conveyed a fair bit. ‘If you want to know more, ask me when he’s not around’ it said.

For another week, your recataloguing was left undisturbed by noises, but after four weeks of being at Widowsweb Court, you encountered ‘the master’ for the first time, and he was nothing like you’d thought he would be, though perhaps the name of the place should have given it away.

Part Two --->

To be continued next Wednesday... Part Two is currently up on Patreon so you can read it right now on the Pixies and Goblins Tier.

___

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Currently I’m also running a CYOA for all tiers, with episodes releasing every Friday.

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[svu-ncis-criminalminds]

Mistakes and First Kisses

For the lovely @infiniteoddball who requested :  Hey! Can I make a request?? Fake Dating AU paired with heated argument leading to kiss/sex? Preferably with Barba or Benson?

I went with Barba, there is no smut in this, I didn’t feel like it fit. However if you wanted to request a part two I’m sure I could work something out :)

Hey! Can I make a request?? Fake Dating AU paired with heated argument leading to kiss/sex? Preferably with Barba or Benson?

“Remember, Barba,” You gave the man a toothy grin as Olivia did her best to hide the wiring you were wearing under your skimpy dress, “You’re rich, an asshole, and out looking for a good time. Also, we’re undercover.” Barba gave you a pointed look, pulling his expensive suit jacket back on once Nick was satisfied his wire was where it needed to be. 

“You’re funny, y/n. Anyone ever told you that before?” You smirked and finally pulled away from Olivia doing a twirl.

“How do I look? Escort-y enough?” You asked, earning an appreciative look from a few of the unis hanging around the area. 

“An expensive one too, not a cheap dollar hooker,” Sonny assured you, you tossed your head back and laughed. 

“You’re sweet,” You smiled, grabbing your purse off your desk, “I’m ready.”

“Let’s go over the plan one more time.” Olivia ordered gently, not wanting to take any risks. “Barba will be at the lounge waiting for you, you’re going to meet him there. Chat him up. Remember he ordered you, so Barba, try and not look like ... well, that.” Everyone looked at the man who was scowling. He didn’t want to be doing this, he didn’t want you to be doing this. High class escorts servicing promident men have been getting attacked. The man was usually beaten into a pulp, while the escorts had been raped and tortured. So far nothing you had done had gotten you any closer, thus this overcover was born. Much to the ADA’s dismay. Barba put on a sarcastic smile and Olivia frowned at him, “Are you sure you can do this.” 

“I’ve voiced my concerns. They’ve been ignored.” 

“We can send Carisi.” 

“A detective with student loans? He could never afford her, they’d know.” You flushed slightly at being spoken about like that. Something about it coming from Barba’s mouth softened the blow. 

“Anyway, chat, have a few drinks, Rollins and Fin will be inside keeping their eyes open. When we tell you to, you’re going to go upstairs. Sit pretty until we tell you otherwise, we need him in the room before we can move, got it?”

“Got it,” You both chimed. 

“Let’s roll.”

Carisi dropped you off at the lounge in a discrete black car, giving you a reassuring smile as you got out. 

“You’ll do fine,” You smiled back and nodded before shutting the door and flipping your hair over your shoulder, straightening your back, and trying your damnedest to not be nervous. You had to be sexy, charming enough to convince whoever was attacking these women that should be his next target. You entered the upclass establishment and looked around before spotting the man, lounging with a drink in his hands. Not his usual amber liquid either, probably a rum and coke, hold the rum. You approached him, trying to look sure of yourself, making sure your hands weren’t shaking.

“Rafael Barba?” You asked, smiling down at the man, eyes large and innocent. He looked up and you saw his adams apple bob as he swallowed before nodding. You smiled back, “May I sit?” 

“It would be my pleasure, Alice right?” The fake name the squad had come up with echoed in your ears as you sat down beside him on the small chaise lounger. 

“Try not to look so damn uncomfortable, Barba.” Fin’s voice sounded off in both of your ears and the man beside you grunted. So you took initiative, scooting closer to the man and resting your hand on his arm. 

“What are you drinking?” He peered into the glass, like if he stared long enough he might turn coke into something a little stronger. 

“A diet coke,” He responded simply. You frowned before smiling again, he wasn’t giving you much to work with. You grabbed a passing waitress and smiled up at her. 

“I’ll have what he’s having, please.” She nodded before disappearing to go get your drink. You turned back to the man, still smiling as he sulked slightly. 

“We’re on a date,” You whispered, “Try and at least look at me.” Barba looked up at you, a worriedness you hadn’t seen before behind his eyes. 

“This is a bad idea.” You pressed a finger to his lips, eyes going cold for a moment. You weren’t about to let him blow this because he was worried. Women were at risk until you put this monster away. 

“Shush,” You murmured, trying to sound playful and not harsh, “Is this your first time going on a date.” You both knew what you meant by date. Barba thought you were trying a little too hard to be obvious. No one in their right might would think you would be here with him without a payout involved. But he tried to loosen up and play along. 

“I’ve been out of the game for a while, work is my life, I don’t have time for anything that isn’t noncommittal.” He explained the half truth. Truth be told, he had recently tried to get back into dating, but it was too hard. Not simply because of the job, but mostly because they weren’t you. You cooed at the man and accepted your drink when the waitress came back before turning to him again. 

“Well, I’m your girl then. For the night.” He smiled softly at that. Only for the night indeed. 

“Keep it up, we got a guy eyeing you at 6 o’clock, don’t look.” You smiled at Barba and continued your flirting routine. Giggling and touching his arm whenever you could, flipping your hair over your shoulder to expose your neck and collarbone to the man, you saw him swallow hard and gave his arm another squeeze of reassurance. 

The man eventually loosened up as he talked to you about work in certain terms. This Barba, however, was a private attorney. The big bucks. You continued to laugh and smile and nod in all the right places, eyes concentrated on his face like he was the only man in the room. As far as dates went, you’d been on worse. Occasionally Rollins or Fin or Olivia would say something into the earpieces you were wearing, instructing you to do one thing or another. 

“Kiss him and take him upstairs.” Kiss? You flushed slightly, at Olivia’s command. Who said anything about kissing. 

“Sell it,” Rollins added and you could practically hear the grin on her face. You sighed and smiled, putting a hand on the man’s face. Barba seemed frozen in his spot so you leaned in and pressed a few simple kisses to his lips. He didn’t react. You frowned. 

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked, trying to save face, “You paid for the evening I thought you-”

“Barba,” Olivia warned. 

“I can’t do this,” He stared blankly, and you began to panic. 

“Move upstairs,” Olivia’s own voice mirrored how you felt. “Now.” She added on harshly. Barba didn’t budge. You tried one more time to lean in and kiss him and he pushed you away, standing up suddenly. 

“I need some air.” 

“Barba,” Multiple voices, including your own cried out but the man was already walking swiftly towards the doors. 

“Rafael,” You called after him, getting up and following him close behind, grabbing the back of his jacket and hissing through gritted teeth, “What are you doing.” He pulled away from you and kept walking, outside in the night. You followed still, struggling to keep up in the heels you’d chosen to wear. “Rafael!” He turned to you shaking his head as Olivia and Carisi rushed up to you. 

“What the hell?” Benson asked, fire in her own eyes. “Barba, what the hell was that.” 

“You’re going to have to find him another way, try doing your jobs!” He snapped back and Benson’s face steeled. 

“Get out of here. Go home.” She glared slightly, “think about the next victim while you try and fall asleep tonight.” With that she turned and walked away. Barba at least had the decency to look guilty briefly, before his face turned sour again. 

“Something to say, Carisi?” the man barked. The detective looked sadly at the lawyer, the main emotion on his face was utter disappointment. He turned and walked away, following his boss back towards the car they had been waiting in. You continued to stand next to Barba, arms crossed. He turned and began to walk away again and you continued to follow. 

“Oh no, we aren’t done here.” 

“Yes we are.” You continued to follow him, a few steps behind him in silence, both of you seething. 

“Are you planning on walking all the way back to your apartment so we can argue there, or would you like to get this over with and actually fucking talk about what just happened?” He ignored you and picked up your pace, so you stopped and took your shoes off before jogging to catch up with him, walking beside him now. “Are you an idiot?” You asked. 

“Go away, Y/N. Go home. It’s done.” He ordered you, voice more gruff then he ever used with you. You frowned. 

“What the hells is this about?” You snapped, “Listen, I get it, you didn’t want to do it for whatever reason. But you agreed, you know the risks these women face and you blew it!” He turned on you, finger pointing into your face. 

“I didn’t sign up for that!” He yelled and you stepped back surprised. He seemed shocked at his own outburst and dropped his hand. “Go home.” 

“No.” You crossed your arms again, “Get us a Lyft. Now. We’re going to yours and we are talking about this. Or I will continue to follow you home barefoot and I will pound on your door until your neighbors call the police. See how the DA likes that!” He stood there for another minute before fishing his phone out of his pocket and tapping it a few times. 

“You’re going to be the death of me.” 

“And you’ll be the death of all those men.” You snapped again. Then you felt back, “Look I’m sorry, okay?” He just shook his head, putting the phone away and staring anywhere but you. You were right. He was the reason more people were going to die. All because he couldn’t handle you. Couldn’t handle you flirting, or the kissing, or even bringing you up to a hotel room. No matter how many times he told himself you were just acting, no matter how many lives it saved. It couldn’t. It hurt too much. 

A car pulled up and Barba checked the plates before opening the door and ushering you in. You sat the entire ride in silence, both looking out of your respective windows. You arrived at the man's apartment and got out, the silence following you all the way upstairs and to his apartment door. Once inside you crossed your arms yet again, rubbing some warmth back into them. 

“Are you cold?” Barba asked quietly and you shrugged before shaking your head. 

“Don’t be nice to me. I’m mad at you.” You said, frowning deeply. He frowned back and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Suit yourself. Be difficult.” You watched him go to the kitchen, getting two glasses from the cabinet. 

“Me difficult?” You laughed bitterly, “Says the man who just blew our entire investigation out of the water.” 

“Your investigation? It’s not really a case if it’s a last ditch effort.” He snapped. He poured two glasses of scotch and offered one to you, which you snatched from him. 

“So what? We’re going to sit on our asses and try nothing? If you didn’t like our tactics you were more then welcome to come up with a better idea.” 

“It’s not my job! It’s yours, and obviously you can’t do it.” Ouch. That one stung. You flinched and took a sip of the drink, allowing the burning to wash over you. 

“Guess I’ll just quit then, since my sense of worth is completely dependent on whether or not /you/ think I am doing a good job!” You raised your voice and the man glared, coming towards you.

“Mind shutting up? I have neighbors.” 

“Fuck your neighbors, alright?” You stopped, lowering your voice again, and Barba could see the hurt written across your features. He wished nothing more than to pull you into his arms, to beg you to forgive him. “This isn’t you, Rafael.” You spoke finally. It was his turn to wince, both at your words and the tender and unfamiliar use of his first name. “Not the champion of victims that I know.” 

“Well maybe you don’t know me as much as you thought.” You both stared at each other for a moment before you nodded, setting the cup you were holding on the coffee table. 

“Maybe I don’t. Because I thought I knew a good man. A kind man, who cared. This-” You gestured towards him shaking your head, “Isn’t him.” You turned towards the door.  You got about two steps away when you felt hands on you, turning you around. Then there were lips on your lips. The kiss ended as soon as it began. Barba stepped back. 

“I’m sorry. I just- I never got the chance to kiss you back. And I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat, “You’re right, I messed up. I messed the whole thing up. Because I couldn’t handle pretending to kiss you, touch you, flirt with you. I was selfish, I cared about my own emotions more than the lives of innocent people, and I am sorry.” You were frozen where you stood staring back at the man whose lips were just on yours. “I’m sorry,” He said again. You weren’t sure you ever heard Rafael Barba apologize before, and now he has uttered those words four times in about thirty seconds. 

“I forgive you.” Your voice came out in a whisper, arms wrapping around yourself. “I won’t say it’s okay, because it’s not. But you’re forgiven. We will figure it out, somehow, someway.” You promised. “But a word of advice.” 

“Yes?” 

“Don’t try and kiss Liv when you apologize and grovel to her tomorrow.” 

“I don’t grovel,” He smirked slightly, you smirked back.

“Well you better start.” You took a step towards him, reaching up to rest your hands on his chest, toying with his tie. “You could start now,” You gazed up at the man whose hands had found your hips. He leaned down and kissed you again, slowly, lovingly. You kissed him back this time, relishing in your first mutual kiss. When he pulled back he placed a hand on your cheek, thumb gently rubbing it. 

“Thank you.” He whispered, you tilted your head slightly. 

“For what?”

“For reminding me who I am.” You smiled and leaned up, stealing another kiss from the man, who pulled you into a warm embrace, kissing your forehead several times.

[missmentelle]

Just some small ways that the system keeps people down

When we think about social justice, we often think about it in terms of huge, sweeping reforms that happen on a national level: the nation-wide legalization of gay marriage. The end of segregation. Loving v Virginia. Roe v Wade. Many people only vote in federal elections and only keep up with federal politics, thinking that the federal government is what “really matters” when it comes to progress and human rights. 

Federal-level politics and landmark court rulings are important, but oppression often happens in much smaller, less obvious ways. It’s in the fine print of the eligibility criteria for disability benefits. It’s in municipal zoning laws. It’s in bank mortgage eligibility policies. It’s in the enforcement of public park bylaws. The things that make life difficult for marginalized communities often come from local bureaucracy, and look something like this: Disabled people effectively do not have the right to marry. 

In the United States, when a disabled person marries a non-disabled person, they gain a spouse, but they risk losing something immensely important - namely, all of their benefits. Currently, the government assumes that a non-disabled spouse takes full responsibility for all of their disabled spouse’s needs; it becomes their job to provide the disabled spouse with healthcare, housing, basic needs and assistive devices that they require, regardless of their ability to actually afford any of these things. Obviously, this is completely out of the question for most couples. Medical costs for a person with complex needs can be exorbitant, and the average person just cannot provide things like private home health services and out-of-pocket medical expenses for their spouse. 

Unless a disabled person is marrying someone who is independently wealthy, marriage is often out of the question. 

As a result, many disabled people simply have no meaningful access to marriage or the legal benefits and protections it provides. Without a wedding certificate, your partner cannot stay with you in the hospital, access your medical information or make decisions for you while you are incapacitated - something that people with complex medical issues may desperately need their partner to be able to do. International couples may have no means of being able to live in the same country. It may not even be possible for couples to live together at all, as the state may decide that that’s a “common-law” situation and strip away disability benefits even without a formal certificate. The people who are most in need of companionship and legal protection are denied access to it because of cruel and outdated laws that were designed with the false assumption that disabled people cannot desirable partners for non-disabled spouses. 

Domestic violence victims can be evicted for being abused. 

Some cities across America have implemented “nuisance laws” - these are laws originally designed to punish “slum landlords” who don’t try to stop criminal activity or loud parties in their buildings. In cities with nuisance laws, the city tracks how many 911 calls are made to (or about) each address in the city; if an address goes over their yearly limit of 911 calls, the city goes after the property’s landlord, fining them or even threatening them with criminal charges if they don’t make the calls stop. The point of the law is to encourage landlords to keep an eye on their tenants and evict “problem” tenants that disrupt the neighbourhood, and these policies have definitely resulted in a lot of 911-related evictions. And that’s a problem. Because you know who calls 911 a lot? Domestic violence victims. 

These laws have made it so that many people experiencing domestic violence have to choose between “help” and “housing”. If your partner is violently attacking you but your landlord has told you “one more 911 call and you’re out on the streets”, what do you do? How do you navigate such an impossible situation? Many victims simply hold off calling for help unless they’re reasonably certain that their partner is going to kill them, which is incredibly and almost indescribably dangerous, and still results in threats of eviction. Even victims who never call for help themselves can still find themselves out in the cold because of these policies - nuisance laws count any 911 calls made about an address, which means that a well-meaning neighbour calling the cops because they hear screams can cost you your housing. The end result is that an already-vulnerable population are either losing their housing or losing access to lifesaving emergency services, and everyone is worse for it. 

It’s worth noting that these policies also disproportionately affect disabled, elderly and chronically ill people. When you are medically fragile, you tend to have increased medical emergencies and a decreased ability to safely transport yourself to the hospital without an ambulance. So if 80-year-old diabetic woman uses her LifeAlert bracelet to call 911 three times in a year because she’s fallen down or having a hypoglycemic episode, she could face eviction for going over her 911 limit and being a “nuisance” to the city. 

Redlining has shut black people out of wealth-building for decades. How do you build wealth in America? You need credit. If you want to achieve real financial security, you need to convince someone to loan you large amounts of money at a low interest rate so you can use that money to purchase something that will build wealth for you. Let’s say you only have a little bit of money - you go to the bank and convince them to give you a mortgage (which is effectively just a large low-interest loan) so you can purchase a house for yourself. Once you’ve paid off the mortgage and showed the bank how reliable you are, you can go back and ask them for another loan against your house, and use that loan to buy a business, or a second house to rent out for income, or just save your money while your paid-off first house continues to increase in value. When you eventually die, your kids get all the property you amassed with those loans, and they start life in an even better financial position than you did - they can use that property to get even more credit and invest in even more businesses and property. This is how most American families clawed their way into the middle class after the Great Depression - your great-grandfather buying a house in the 1940s is the reason your parents could afford to pay for your college today. 

But there is one group that have been systemically left out of that process for decades, thanks to a practice called “redlining”. 

Banks decide whether or not they are going to loan you money by deciding how much of a “risk” you are. In the 1930s, bankers determined risk by looking at maps of their cities and drawing lines around particular neighbourhoods to determine how much of a risk they were. Bankers would draw red lines around predominantly-black neighbourhoods to signal that people who lived in those neighbourhoods were not eligible for credit - this was done regardless of their income. Poor white neighbourhoods could get loans, but middle-class black neighbourhoods could not. This meant that black people could not improve their situations - they could not afford to move out of cramped black neighbourhoods, they could not get the money to start a business, and they could not afford to renovate their houses to sell them at a profit. They were effectively shut out of opportunities that their white peers were granted. 

Redlining has been illegal for decades, but the cumulative impact of generations of redlining persist to this day. Experts estimate that an average black homeowner today has missed out on $212,023 in personal wealth because of the impacts of redlining.   “Zero-tolerance” policies have harmed marginalized and neurodivergent children without making schools safer. 

If you’ve attended or worked in a grade school in the last 20 years, you’re probably familiar with so-called “zero tolerance” policies. These policies emerged as a result of the 1999 Columbine school shooting, and are pretty much exactly what they sound like - in the wake of Columbine, schools began taking an extremely hardline stance against violence and bullying, assuring worried parents that they would not tolerate even the smallest hint of violence. In schools with zero-tolerance policies in place, punishments are extremely harsh - just about everything will get you suspended at a minimum. Get in a fistfight at school? Doesn’t even matter who started it, everyone involved is suspended. Throwing food? Suspended. Shouting at someone? Suspended. It doesn’t tend to matter if you were joking around or if you'd been pushed to the brink by a student who has bullied you for months - “zero tolerance” means absolutely zero tolerance, and you are suspended. 

But if you ever actually attended a zero-tolerance school, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that these policies don’t actually have any impact on school safety. What they do accomplish is higher rates of school failure and worse overall student outcomes, especially for marginalized students. 

And it makes sense. Which students are the most likely to be acting out in school? Students with ADHD, autism and learning disorders. Students with turbulent home lives. Students in foster care. Students dealing with abuse or trauma. These are the students who need to be in school the most, and need extra support from staff and teachers - instead of getting that support, though, zero-tolerance policies send them away from school for several days at a time, where they are unable to access support and fall further behind their peers. School quickly turns into a vicious cycle; students act out because they’re frustrated, they get suspended, they fall behind in class, which leads to more frustration, which leads to more acting out, which means more suspensions, which puts them further behind, etc, etc. Eventually they become so disillusioned that many of them leave school altogether, putting them at a permanent increased risk of unemployment, poverty, and incarceration.

Parking requirements are making cities unaffordable and unlivable for the poor.

Many cities - like Toronto and Vancouver - have mandatory minimum parking requirements written into their city zoning laws. These policies usually require that all residential buildings have at least one parking space available for every unit of residential housing - if you build a 60-unit apartment building, you need to make sure that you also buy enough land for a 60-stall parking lot or build a 60-space underground parking structure. 

When you think about the reasons that housing is unaffordable, “parking” might not be one of the first things you think of, but these laws have huge impacts on the cost of housing, and they negatively impact both the city itself and the working-class people who live there. Parking spaces are not free, especially in major cities like Toronto where land is at a premium - an above-ground parking space in a city costs an average of $24,000, while a below-ground space costs $34,000. Every unit of residential housing has $24-34k in parking costs tacked onto it - whether the tenant needs a parking space or not - and you can bet that landlords and developers are passing every penny of that cost onto their tenants. 

Parking requirements also decrease the number of units available, which is a problem, because the best way to keep housing affordable is to make sure that you have a lot of it available. A developer who might want to build a 300-unit apartment complex has to factor in the cost of creating at least 300 parking spaces.... so they might scale back to a 100-unit complex instead. Downtown areas that have huge demand for housing and low demand for residential parking are being underutilized because of zoning laws that were created decades ago and no longer reflect today’s reality. Young people, elderly people and urban poor people are increasingly unlikely to own a car, but they are being priced out of walkable neighbourhoods with good public transit for the sake of unwanted parking spaces.

Food safety laws and public property usage laws are making it illegal to feed the homeless. 

“Feeding the homeless” should be one of the most uncontroversial things you can do. Giving food to a person who is hungry is one of the most basic ways that humans care for one another. Everything from cheesy Hallmark movies to the Bible reinforces the importance of giving to others in need. But in dozens of cities across America, you can be fined, arrested or even jailed for giving out food to the homeless. 

Cities use different justifications to shut down or even arrest community service workers for trying to feed the homeless. Some pass increasingly restrictive “food safety laws”, stating that charities are only allowed to give away hot food, or that they are only allowed to give away sealed and individually-packed meals, or that they are only allowed to feed homeless people indoors (something that community organizations like mine do not always have the resources to do). Restrictions continue to get tighter every year in some places, despite the fact that there are virtually zero recorded cases of a homeless person being harmed by food they received from a registered charity. Food safety laws can also force restaurants and stores to destroy their unsold food instead of passing it out; some have to go as far as pouring bleach over the food they throw out in their dumpsters. 

Other cities have used public property bylaws to ban food-sharing on public property, forcing charities to apply for permits to hand out food (which are rarely granted). Justifications for these bylaws vary - some cities give vague excuses about “safety” while others admit that they’re trying to drive homeless people out of their cities - but the end result is the same. Cities are so desperate to be rid of their homeless populations that they’ll criminalize trying to help the homeless, rather than offering stable, affordable housing solutions. 

[andypantsx3]

hi!! this might be a stupid question since it isn’t about writing but I’m taking a gap year rn and was hoping to attend college in the future but my parents just aren’t supportive or helpful at all :( I was just wondering if you had any tips for how to put yourself through college realistically? My plan was to go out of state because I don’t want to pay to go to school in a small state/town :/

Ahh! Omg good luck!! I'm so sorry you're in this situation but I'm rooting for you one million percent! ✨

I'm probably not the best resource here—I recommend combing through some federal aid websites and maybe even reddit or quora for better advice! But I was in a similar situation—I'm the first in my family to go to college and I did not have any family financial resourcing to make it easier for me.

The biggest thing I can recommend is applying for as many grants and scholarships as you possibly can. This is HUGE. I found a lot through my high school guidance counseling program, but you can also search through the Department of Education. I almost halved my school costs through grants and scholarships. Not all of them need to be merit-based either, a lot of them are based around financial need! If you know what school you'll be going to, you can also call their financial aid office and ask for their resources and recommendations.

I think it must also depend on your intended major, what school you want to go to—but state schools often provide reimbursement or tuition wavers for in-state students, so you might want to consider that when selecting a school as well!

I also took out student loans when I was in school. Where you can, I highly recommend taking out subsidized loans vs unsubsidized loans. I didn't know this when I was first applying, but the US government pays the interest on your subsidized loans while you're in school vs unsubsidized loans, which will accrue interest even while you're in school. Also take out federal loans where you can, instead of private loans—federal loans will generally have lower interest rates, and you will not need a co-signer, which sounds like it could be an issue for you if your parents aren't supportive.

If at all possible, work while you're in school and/or work with your advisor to put together an accelerated track to minimize the amount of time you're in school (if you pay per semester rather than per course). I did both of these things while in school and honestly I have to say I don't recommend them, but they might be necessary if you're in dire financial straits. I worked full time while I was in school and over the summer to save up money, and honestly it really burnt me out. My school also made me document and justify going over the recommended per-semester credit limit, and they might make you sit with an advisor to talk it out, but if you think you can handle it, I believe in you!!

The last thing is: pirate your books lol. Books cost me like hundreds of dollars per semester and I realize it's not great to pirate things, but some of the books they make you buy are like "X School Special Edition" just for your university, where they just take a standard text book, add like some foreword and then mark it up like 50%—and if that's not the exact kind of scumbag behavior that justifies piracy then IDK what is. You can also borrow your books from your school's library depending on what courses you're in. Worst case scenario, you can resell your books on Amazon as a private seller like I did. If you do, you can mail them through your post office as media mail for a reduced shipping rate, and you can even make a couple extra dollars on the shipping cost.

Good luck!! I'm behind you all the way, even if your family isn't. You totally got this. 💪✨

[i-see-you-now-you-see-me]

Anyways, couldn’t let crazy Hendery’s personalities be the end of DYVLONY right? Here is the High Court Magistrate’s turn :)

Mending souls

(oneshot, can be read separate, included in DYVLONY series)

Pairing: Xiao Dejun (Wayv) x virgin Reader (Y/N) pseudo Anna

Word count : approx 7.5k, prepare to read under the cut

Warnings: not our shiny Xiaojun, but a bit darker version with a problematic need for all things neat, and hate for all kinds of body fluids... loss of virginity, first time sex (safe sex), some form of punishment, Xiao being a bit yandere. 

Bill.

Another bill.

Another bill.

When does this end?

You thought to yourself.

College bills won’t pay themselves and the job you’d gotten at a local pub didn’t pay much either, the tips were mainly your income. So, when a job opportunity presented itself in a form of middle- aged man, you didn’t think twice, before agreeing.

A couple of dates every week, with a random stranger, but you’ll get paid for it, sounded ok, at that time. The job description however scared you a bit.

An escort.

A man or woman who is hired to go with someone to a social event- often used from escort agency services/ a person or group accompanying another to give protection or as a courtesy.

-Prostitution? – your college roommate Lea asked.

-No, not at all, - you stated, - I don’t have to sleep with anyone for this, not unless I want to, this company guarantees that I will be safe, they always provide a driver from their own company, who is near enough next to us all the time.

-Still sounds like prostitution, - Lea was a realist, she would say it for what it is.

-I suppose it is some kind of prostitution, I will be giving my time for the other person, but it is worth it, like the man sad, I would be able to pay college tuition, and we’ll have some extra left over, maybe we can both afford something then.

Lea sighed. Her job didn’t pay much either, and you both were struggling, but this was it, a job Is still a job.

-Fine, - she stated, - just be careful, alright?

You nodded and got dressed. Tonight, you will be a dance/music major, and you will accompany a businessman to a simple dinner. Yet, when your driver reached the destination as a five- star hotel, you felt under- dressed.

-What? – you sucked in a breath, - they told me it’s a small dinner.

-It is miss, - your driver announced, - only up to fifty people.

-Fifty? – your head was spinning, yet your nerves were somehow calm. You were not Y/N tonight.

You were Anna, art student, a confident dancer, who looks gorgeous in her outfit. Your driver nodded that it was the time, and soon you were inside the hotel, greeted by an elderly man, who was your partner for the evening.

-Miss Anna, I presume, - he extended his arm to reach for your hand, and kissed the top of your palm, - you look beautiful. My name is Sir Arthur de Clemence, I am a sponsor for many students over the country, and I am trying to attach more people to my fond tonight. See all these people, - he mentioned to the hall, - they have millions to spare, and with your help, I might be able to do that.

-Yes, sir, - you nodded, - I will do my best.

He nodded and you both headed inside.

A small talk with nearly every guest was your first talk. Flashing your best smile, you turned the conversations into- how small artists help locals survive in smaller towns and so on. It really was working, and by the end of the night, Sir Clemence was able to snatch at least thirty people on his side, all thanks to you.

When driving back after the event, your phone buzzed.

Your jaw dropped. You had just earned an amount that ended with five zeros in your bank account.

You ran into your apartment to find Lea asleep on the couch.

-We did it!!! – you ran towards her and jumped on top of her.

-What a, - Lea woke up from her slumber.

-We did it!!! – you shouted again, and Lea was wide awake now. You showed her your bank statement, and you both started jumping like kids.

-Oh my god!!! Oh my god!!! – she screamed.

-We have got to celebrate this!!!- you stated, and Lea nodded.

Weeks after weeks, the money kept going, your alter ego- Anna was who ever she had to be. A pro gamer, a barista, a literature student, even a stripper once. She was someone who was fearless, who would help you get through everything. To accommodate with your changes- you wore wigs, glasses, your lipstick was different for every person you played.

And after every couple of weeks, you and Lea got to celebrate.

-Did you hear? – Lea asked you, - Wanderlust club is throwing a party, wanna go?

You nodded. It was one of the coolest clubs there was, everyone wanted to get inside, and tonight you would.

As expected, it was crowded, people dancing, chilling at the tables, you both popped a champagne, drinking it ever so slowly, to feel the bubbles sliding down your throat.

-Is this what feeling posh is like? – Lea asked, you nodded.

-It’s just the beginning, - you stated, - I will be able to pay off my loan in a couple of weeks, and then we will get yours too, - you smiled, Lea nearly cried.

-You would do that for me? – she re asked.

-Always, you are my best friend Lea, I would do anything for you.

-Ah, you are making me cry now, - you both laughed and headed to the dance floor.

One moment you were next to Lea, and the next, grinding against someone’s crotch, feeling their hands around your waist. Once turned around you noticed it was an ex-partner of yours, who you accompanied a few weeks back.

-Mr. Roger? – you asked. – what are you doing here?

-Can we speak in private? – he invited, and you followed.

Once outside, he let you to the alley behind the club.

-What is this about? – you asked, - I don’t quite understand.

-Anna, - he started, - I have missed you.

His hands went to grab onto your waist.

-Mr. Roger, you should not be here, - hell, he was not supposed to find you, all your meetings had been confidential, without your real identity and all. – you should not be seeing me like this.

-I had to find you, - he stated, - I…. have been going crazy without you.

He reached for you once again, and you stepped back.

-This is not right, - you said, - I am getting back.

As you walked, his hands grabbed you again, pressing you against his torso, you kneaded him with your elbow and tried to get out of his grasp.

-Hey, - someone shouted, - what’s going on here?

You recognized him as the bartender from the club. He had a towel on his shoulder, and he was carrying a bin bag.

-This is not your business dude, better leave, - Mr. Roger spoke.

-He is attacking me, - you said, - get me away from him and if necessary, call the police, would you?

The bartender led you inside, giving you a glass of water and a pill.

-This will reduce your dizziness from the alcohol, - he stated and you drank without hesitation.

-Tastes funny, - you said, and somehow your words were getting slurpy, as if your mouth was filled with your saliva, -what is thisssss…. – you tried to ask.

-I am sorry, - he said, - I truly am.

You had no idea what had happened. Once unconscious, your clutch-bag had been taken away from you, and you were lying next to few other unconscious bodies, waiting for couple more, so the task would be completed.

Michel sighed, rubbing his eyes. This was wrong what they were doing.

His friend Jack on the other hand, had no issues with this. His mind was blinded by the money.

-Got one? – Jack asked when stepping in the room. Michel nodded.

-Good, good, - he patted the younger’s shoulder, - two more and we are ready to go.

Soon with nine other girls you were thrown in a van and driven away, a few hours later, tied in a spaceship, to be sent elsewhere, and later on, flying through the waves of different galaxies, till you crash landed on a planet, different from your coordinates.

* Planet DYVLONY 10043567901;1102033149001*

A gun was pressed at your neck, a sharp, stinging needle pierced through your skin, an injection that made you wide awake. You woke up with a groan while breathing in. The air- unknown and different, was burning your lungs.

-Her vitals are stable, - someone shouted. You felt disoriented.

The high court magistrate Xiao Dejun was watching through the glass, how all ten girls were injected a serum, vaccine, and a microchip, to help you communicate. Your naked body were one of the final ones, and for some reason he felt like a pervert watching you like that. Your body was beautiful, your curves in all the right places.

-Sir, - Dejun’s assistant spoke, - shall we get them ready?

-Yes, please, - Xiao nodded, - I will get Detective Ten here asap.

Greeting the detective as he arrived, Dejun led him through the doors.

-Don’t think of us as uncivil, - Xiao spoke, - since we don’t know why they are here, we cannot allow them to roam free, if you know what I mean…

The doors opened and Ten arched a brow. Dejun wasn’t looking happy either, but this is what they had to do, precautions, if you will.

-Greetings aliens, - Detective stepped on a platform, and started his interrogation. Xiao knew, Ten will get answers, one way or another, he was a Detective for a reason. – Have they been on drugs?

Xiao nodded to his assistant who handed Ten a file of information.

-The lab tried to make a sample from their blood, but couldn’t, whatever it was, didn’t last long in their system.

-Long enough to transport them to this planet though, - Ten stated.

Later behind closed doors both Detective Ten and Magistrate Xiao Dejun talked about what to do next.

-What did they say? – Xiao asked.

-We were right, the girls were not meant to be here, and they all are harmless, so we need to take action now.

-I know what you mean, - Xiao agreed. – what do you think we do?

Ten sighed and bit his lip.

-We should provide them with home, someone to look after them, - he started, - I can be one, maybe you?

Xiao nodded.

-What about the members of society council?

-Maybe, - Xiao spoke, - but I want to choose.

-Choose? – Ten asked, - ahhh, I see, - he smiled, - has one of them already caught your eye? – Ten winked and giggled.

-Ha, - Dejun poked his shoulder, - it’s not like that, she just seems to be the youngest out of all of them, so, I decided to choose her.

-If that’s what you like, why not, - Ten agreed, smirking.

Once at home, Xiao pulled out your file. It contained a lot of your photos, naked and dressed, from many different angles, information that you had given them. Anna. Your fake name, but no one has to know that.

Opening one of the bedside drawers, he took out a USB, attaching it to his pc. A video started playing and Dejun bit his lip. Choosing to remake the video, he started to work on it. He even re-made the sounds. Clapping his palm onto his other hand, which was formed in a fist, he made sex-like noises, and spoke into microphone.

-Ten, you have to see this, - he spoke, in the video Anna was crawling on her knees, grabbing onto Dejuns’ trousers, touching his cock, and sucking on it afterwards. – she’s a naughty girl.

He announced in the mic, playing forward the video, he made sure, that his partner indeed looked like Anna (you) from all the angles. No one would ever know. Xiaojun remembered the mess his partner had made after the sex, how angry he got, when she smeared her secret all over his abdomen.

Anyways, she got to sit on a bag of peas (a method of punishment used in schools, a long time ago, bag of beans or peas, since small in size would poke at your knees and hurt as hell,) after that stunt. Not on his watch is anyone to make him dirty like that.

Not two days had passed, when Xiao returned to the high court to pick you up. One by one you all got split up, taken to different peoples’ homes, to be taken care of.

-Hey, Suzy, - Xiao greeted, - I am here to pick up Anna, - he smiled.

-She is ready, you just need to sign these papers, - she handed the documents to Xiao, and he filled them in, simple questions of- does your house have a spare room and if you had already purchased clothing for Anna etc. Yes. Xiao was prepared.

You were shaking. This was scary. Who are you about to get? Yet you were the one who were hoping for someone nice, so you put your façade on, bringing in the person you are playing. Anna.

-Anna, - you were greeted by a female DYVLONY, - your guardian is here to pick you up. Follow me.

Once through the door, you saw a back first. Then the brown hair, a person wearing a suit.

For some reason, the person you pictured was Mr. Roger at your first meeting, you got goosebumps all over your body, and then he turned around.

You knew the guy. High court magistrate that you had encountered many times when you had just landed. He was with you when you were being examined. Behind his stare though, there was something else, he seemed like a nice guy, so you put your thoughts aside to focus on your travel to your new home.

Xiao was driving. So, you thought, to make things not so difficult, might have a chat, a small talk, just to get you going.

-What do you do for a living? – you asked, Dejun was very focused on driving, but he gave a small smile before talking.

-I work in the High court, - he started, - I am one of the magistrates there.

-I see, - you spoke, - so you assist in cases and all that?

Xiao nodded.

-What were you on your Earth? – Dejun asked.

You thought briefly, what to tell him, you were a student and an escort? Do you really tell him?

-I was in school, actually, - you started, - but I did various side jobs.

-Like what? – he continued.

-Uhm, - you bit your lip, - I was a bartender.

-Was a bartender? – he re- asked, - and after that?

Do you tell him? He might not know what it is though, right?

-I worked as an escort, - you spoke softly, more quiet than normal.

-So, what does an escort do? – he was curious now.

-Just, you know, - you breathed in a sharp breath, - like a person to be company for another person. Simple as that.

Xiao nodded.

-And you get paid to do that? – he thought to himself, you nodded.

-Yeah, see, a lot of people are lonely like that, - you stated, trying to figure out a way to change a subject. – your car is neat, - you nearly squeaked out a random sentence. But then it really was neat, there was not a single bit of dust, the cleanest vehicle you had ever seen.

Xiao flashed a smile. He was really good- looking, it was clear as the sky.

Once parked up by his house, he led you both inside the house. It amazed you how clean it was everywhere. You left your shoes at the hallway before putting on a pair of slippers, which Xiao had given to you.

The house was small, but comfy, two floors, by the looks of it. Xiao led you to your room, but you stopped by his room seeing how it looked like. There were various toys on one of the shelves, and it looked creepy as fuck.

-This is my room, - Xiao was right beside you.

-Oh, - you snapped out of your trance, - I’m sorry, I just noticed those… - you pointed to the shelves.

-I see, - he said, - let’s go, shall we?

You nodded and followed into your room. He opened a cupboard; everything was placed in it neatly. Socks, jumpers, underwear, you name it, he had it. All stacked up elegantly, nothing hanging about.

-Thank you, - you said.

-I’ll let you settle in, - with that he left you alone, only then you could get some time to roam through the cupboards. You started doing that when you met up with your clients back on Earth, some of them had planted microphones and cameras in their hotel rooms, so it had made you a bit paranoid. You had never told Lea that. As far as she had to know, you were always safe while at your job.

Xiao walked back to his room, opening his computer, he clicked send the video, adding a thumbs up, before getting back to you. You were literally roaming through the cupboards, half of the clothing now onto the floor. Xiao found you, arms deep in the drawers.

-What on DYVLONY are you doing!? – he shouted.

You jumped, landing on your ass.

-Ouch, - you shouted, swearing a “fuck” after that.

-Nope, - Xiao announced, went straight for you, grabbing your ear, while you grabbed his hand, he pulled you up on your feet, dragging you out of your room, down the stairs. You followed him with an “ouch” after an “ouch”.

Once in the kitchen, he sat you down on a chair.

-We don’t speak like that in this house, - he said, opening one of the drawers, putting a cloth on the table, followed by a box of silver cutlery. – and we don’t throw things around like that!

He stayed quiet. You didn’t quite get what he wanted from you.

-So, - he started, - I am giving you a punishment, - your eyes widened and heart- beat went up, - you will polish this, - he mentioned to the silver cutlery. You nodded taking the cloth in your hand. One by one you took out the pieces, wiping them clean, putting them back. Really there was nothing to polish, they must have been cleaned only a couple of days before.

-This is easy, - you said.

-Ha, - Xiaojun laughed opening few more drawers where you were greeted by a few more sets of silver.

You mentally face-palmed yourself.

-You will clean ALL OF THEM, - he announced.

-I’m sorry, - you whispered.

-I know you are, - he stated, passing you more sets.

A few hours later you thought your hands were to fall off. Clean. Wipe. Polish. Your stomach rumbled. Xiaojun leaned closer, next to you ear, his breath tickling your throat.

-Hungry?

You jumped back in your chair, your nape hitting Xiaojun in the face in the process. When he grabbed his nose, you went to help him.

-I am sorry, I didn’t mean to, - you said, nearly sobbing, he was groaning in pain. When he moved his hands away from his face, you saw the blood first.

-There better be no blood, - Xiao said, your lip trembled now, teary eyes looking at him. He walked away, upstairs, probably to the bathroom, while you fell to your knees, crying. He was angry, it was frightening. Most of the times the calmest people are the most scary when it comes to things like this.

Minutes passed while you were on the floor, until you heard footsteps approaching. Xiao leaned down, putting his hand around you to help you get up.

-I’m sorry, - you sobbed.

-It’s fine, - he replied, - let’s get you something to eat.

He sat you back to the chair, and when you saw his face, there was not a glimpse of blood or anger, he looked like before, the smiling court magistrate that you met before. You wiped your eyes in the back of your hands, and the sleeves of your onesie.

Throughout the dinner, you couldn’t face him, not once you looked his way. When you finished eating, Xiao took the dishes and washed them, drying them off straight away. You looked up at him, finally. He smiled at you.

The kind of smile that makes you warm. A nice smile.

-Shall we go upstairs?

You nodded, and he led the way, but to your surprise he stopped in front of the bathroom.

-Is everything alright? – you asked when he opened the door, he didn’t respond, but mentioned for you to walk inside. You stepped inside and he followed. There was a pile of bloodied tissue in the rubbish bin that caught your attention.

The next thing you know, your face is nearly in the bloody tissues, and you are on your knees.

-Who did this? – Xiaojun asked.

You couldn’t say a word, you were in shock.

-Who did this? – he asked again, pressing your head down more towards the tissue. You started crying. – who did this? – he asked the final time.

-I’m sorry, - you sobbed.

-I am not asking you that, - he said calmly, - WHO DID THIS?

Throughout your sobs and cries, you manage to squeak a very quiet “me”. He let go of your head.

-Me, - you said one more time, the same quiet like before, - I did this…

And then it was all too much, your cries, your feelings on high alert, and then… everything went black.

*48 hours later*

Xiaojun was next to your bed, sitting on a chair. The doctor had just left, saying that you must have had a couple of rough days, that knocked you out like this.

He was scared.

He did this to you.

You looked so peaceful like this though. He must have had scared you with his behavior. He couldn’t do anything about it, that’s what he does, he had been brought up like this, and so will you. You will get used to it; he was sure about it.

There was a couple of pills that the doctor recommended, and an injection, which Xiao was against off. He would not do that to you. So, pills it were, he just needs you to wake up, and then you both could continue with your life.

He waited an hour, and one more, and then he made you soup, then he was ready to wake you. Once he walked in your room, he noticed you were sat upright, looking disoriented.

-Hey, - Xiao greeted, your body pressed back, as if to hide from him, - it’s ok, - he said, - don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you.

This time, Xiao got on his knees, leaning down, asking for your forgiveness.

-I should not have reacted like I did, and I apologize, - he said, - I am truly sorry, I will try to take care of you like I promised, if you let me…

You nodded.

He got back up, bringing you some warm soup, and giving you water to drink the pills.

-Doctor gave these for you, - he smiled while handing them to you, - they should help, for the anxiety and stress that you’ve been through.

You nodded, pretending to drink the pills. When you thought he wasn’t looking, you turned your head to spit the pills out, but Xiao’s hands got to you first, his hand clamped down on your mouth.

-Swallow, - he said. – it’s for your own good.

You nodded a “no”.

-Please, - he said, - it really is for your own good. Please?

You swallowed the tablets, not really wanting to, but it was the only option for you. Only then, Xiao let go of your face.

-I know I scared you, - he said, - if you behave, it won’t happen again, ok?

You nodded once more. God only knew what he was about to do, and you? Would play nice, not to anger him. Oh boy, was it ever that simple?

Following days, he was at home. Both of you would have breakfast, then doing house- work, you would clean, he would do the same, you would watch him rearrange his toys, and then would be lunch, and every other day you would go for walks.

On this particular day, he took you to church.

You were greeted by a smiling pastor, who seemed off.

Once you sat down in one of the isles, you listened to what pastor Kun would be talking about today.

-Family, - he said, - family is only one, the one that we had chosen before we were born. Family is our beginning, and it is also our ending. Turn to your right, - pastor preached, - are you with your loved ones? Your friends are also your family. They are the ones who make you who you are.

Your brain gears started to circulate in motion. Family. Why is Xiao like this? There is something that must have happened, it’s your task to find out.

Walking back, you looked around, smiled at the kids who ran around, a simple interaction like this made you feel welcome.

-Tell me about your family, - you said looking up at Xiao.

-There is not much to tell, - he replied, - my father was very strict, my mother was too, they both were, but thanks to them I got where I am now. I focused more on learning and knowledge than running around with friends or girlfriends.

You nodded. Strict. That’s probably not the right word.

-Who made you obsessed with cleaning? – you spat out and then shut your mouth with your hand. Xiao stopped in his tracks. He looked at you, the deep orbs searching yours, as if he was looking directly into your soul.

-Why don’t you tell me your real name? – he simply replied, starting to walk again, away from you, towards the house.

-What? – you asked, going after him, - what does that supposed to mean?

He looked at you unbothered, raising his eyebrows.

-I know you lied about that; I am not stupid you know…

-So, what!? I lied… AND? – your voice escalated, - you have no proof!

Soon you were back in the house, behind closed doors, where no one would hear you arguing.

-And that Is supposed to make It normal? – Xiao talked back at you, - proof? I have called your name, and you have not responded so many times I started to think, that something is off, until I realized, that Anna might not be your name, that you might be a traitor, who has stolen someone’s identity.

-I told you I was an escort, you know what else escorts do? – you shouted, - I transform into other personalities, turn into a different person, to earn money. One day I can be someone to seduce you, - you stepped closer, touching Xiao’s chest, - a different time I can be your worst enemy.

You stomped upstairs, going in Xiao’s room.

-What do you think you’re doing? – he asked, going after you.

-I told you, I can be whatever people wanted me to be, so which me do you want? You chose me for a reason? And what is that reason, huh?

With a swift movement, your hands threw all of his toys on the ground, like a maniac, you threw every single one of them down, Xiao was screaming, while trying to catch you.

-What are you doing!? – he shouted.

-What you gonna do about it? – you shouted back, and it was like a switch had been activated. Gone was the calm and happy Xiao from minutes ago. Next thing you knew, you were on your stomach on the ground, your face pushed down into the carpet.

-What is this behavior? – he asked, pushing your face even more, if that was even possible. Somehow you managed to turn your face at the right time, gathering your saliva, spitting him in the face. Xiao jumped back. He looked so disgusted.

-What? – you bit back, - don’t like a bit of drool? You neat freak!

You were ready to make a run for it.

-I have seen the weird things you do, - you said, - you dislike blood and other body fluids, barely manage to live through the mess in the bathroom after I have had a shower with my hair sticking everywhere… yet you drink coffee and tea that contains grains, through a straw. What does it make you? You are disgusting!

Xiao pursed his lips, calculating what he will say next.

-I think that mouth of yours needs washing with soap, - he said matter- of- factly, - everything that comes out of it, sounds like a lot of shit…

When you understood what he was about to do, it was too late, he had grabbed you, pushing you into the bathroom, down on your knees, already next to the sink. Holding you in between his legs so you wouldn’t move, his hands gathering the liquid soap, trying to get it in your mouth, you were pursing your lips, trying your best not to open your mouth. His fingers blocked your nose, and you breathed in to get air back into your lungs, and Xiao pushed the soap in your mouth.

It burned like hell, your tongue tasted the bitterness, and your mouth was burning, tears were already streaming down your face, and your face was pushed up, Xiao was looking down on you, his face happy.

-Whose fault is this? – he asked, - I wouldn’t have to do this if you were a nice girl… right?

When you were sobbing like mad, he let go, and you spat the soap out, some of it had already went down your throat. Washing your mouth, you sobbed even louder, Xiao was still having a hold on you.

-Who are you? – he asked.

-My name is Y/N, - you spoke softly, tears slipping down your face.

-My classmates called me dirty, - he said, - so my mother made sure, I was not…

Back to your feet, Xiao had washed your face, made you sit on the bean bag, while he puts his toys back into place. You were still sobbing in between, while Xiao talked.

-I did choose you, - he said, - for my own hunger and desires. I made you someone else in my mind. I thought you would be different, once you would be mine, but expectations didn’t match reality, - he looked at you, - don’t worry, I won’t give you back, I intend to make you mine…

He smiled.

-What you do is not right, - you talked quietly, - you can’t make me yours, I should do that willingly, you punishing me is not right.

Xiao let out a laugh. He walked over to you.

-That’s the only thing I know, that’s how I keep control…

-When I was Anna, that’s how I kept control.

-See, we are not so different, you and I.

The after taste from the soap still lingered in your mouth. He was right in a way, and in a normal situation you would have ran away, but not here. As an escort you had come across a lot of broken souls, people who just needed someone to talk to, near enough like a next of kin, a family member who would listen to them instead of blaming them for something.

-I’m sorry, - you whispered, - your parents had no right to do that to you. I know, me saying this won’t change nothing either, but I need you to know, you can always change, of you find the right person.

Somehow those words stayed with Xiaojun. They made him feel weird. Change? How?

Hour after hour, day after day, and he still had not found the answers he was looking for. He walked home, leaving his car by the High court. Fresh air would help him think. Passing by the church, he made a d-tour. It’s like the god himself drove him to come to confess.

Inside the church, he sat in the cabin. Pastor Kun on the other side.

-I don’t know how to change.

-Why do you need to change? – Pastor asked.

-I have hurt the person I was supposed to care for, - he breathed in, - I shouldn’t have done that… she deserves more than that.

-Now the more important question is what are you willing to do for her to change this? Don’t you think?

-I know, father, but how do I change?

-Remember, when you are a child, your parents taught you everything… this time you both have to teach each other something, starting with small things, baby steps, smaller and then bigger. Slowly, you have to accommodate each other, start with trust, continue with anger issues, and so on…

-Yes, - Xiao said, - I will make sure she is cared for, she is loved, and I will make her happy.

Pastor Kun smiled on the other side. Xiao was a tough man, but he had a heart of gold.

-Thank you, - Xiaojun said, and then he left, going back home to you.

You had just made dinner, washing a pot, when Xiao’s arms trapped you in a back hug.

-I am sorry for hurting you, - he spoke, - I will try to master my issues if you’d let me.

You touched his hands with your wet ones. Xiao cringed.

-Let’s start with this, - you said, giggling, - fluids.

-Nope, - he tried to step back, - not ready for this, - but you didn’t let him. You turned around grabbing onto him and wiping your nose in his chest. – what the hell!!!

He was getting angry, but then he tried to suppress it down, instead of bursting out in anger, his hands grabbed your bottom. You thought, you might play a little, let some of that Anna’s personality slip through. You licked your lips, and Xiao raised his eyebrows.

-No, - he warned, - whatever you are about to do, don’t… - he warned again.

-Yes, - you said back.

-No no, - he shook his head.

-Yes, I have to, - you laughed a bit, wetting your lips again, and then you did it. Your lips reached his.

A wet smooch on his lips, the wetter the better, your saliva coating his dry ones. He had closed his eyes in the process. You leaned in again, doing the same over and over again. He was cringing so badly, you actually felt bad for the guy.

God knows, what his family had pumped into his system.

-This is natural, - and then the unimaginable happened, he kissed you back, his mouth drinking from yours, and your tongue asked for entry in his mouth, now both tongues touching each other, plenty of spit shared now.

Days passed. Just like this. You- trying your best to ease Xiao into all the things he despised, some even so ridiculous, and he kept warning you, that you apparently “make him angry” all the time. But it was not it. You started to develop feelings for him in the weirdest ways possible. Somewhat like a Stockholm syndrome founds its way through someone who has been taken against their will, your body grew accustomed to his needs and his wishes. During the day he left for work, and after work, you tried to tease him with all sorts of weird crap.

This particular day you were feeling hungry for his attention. So, you did what you do best in a situation like this- cause trouble.

You went in his bedroom and swapped over a couple of books. You see, a normal person would not notice shit, but not him. Xiaojun would notice that near enough as he would walk through the door. You greeted him when he came home.

-Dinner will be ready soon, - you announced.

-Ok, I will change my clothes and I will be down soon, - he smiled, touching your head and kissing your forehead. You watched him disappear, only to see him come out, - were you in my room?

You nodded “no”.

-Are you sure? – you nodded a “yes”, not saying nothing. He looked at you suspiciously, - is there something you are not telling me?

-I don’t think so, - you said, and walked back into the kitchen.

Xiao didn’t bother changing clothes, he went straight for you, pressing you against the kitchen counter.

-What are you doing? – he asked again.

-I don’t know what do you mean? – you faked innocence. He leaned in, his lips nearly brushing against yours.

-Are you sure? – he teased you now.

-Mmh, - you nodded. He giggled letting you go.

-You are making me crazy, - he whispered.

-I love you.

The three words that you were hiding from him all this time, managed to slip passed your lips. Xiao stopped in his tracks. What did you say?

He trapped you again in his arms.

-What did you say? – he leaned closer, and you were looking everywhere but not him.

-I…, - you struggled, his hand reached for your face, and he was holding your chin up to see into his eyes, his loving eyes, how he scrunched his nose when you did something to tease him, how his eyebrows raised when you pretended to be someone else, just to see his reaction, - I love you…

He smiled with his eyes, his lips widening in a grin, he felt like a douchebag, but he knew what was next for you both, so his lips touched yours in a loving manner, starting to kiss you slowly, just barely touching your lips in the process.

You on the other hand felt like you were thirsty, and you joined in, grabbing onto Xiaojun’s body, kissing him passionately. He put your legs around his hips, taking you with him up the stairs. His lips were now attacking your neck, and grabby hands- your butt in the process.

Once on his bed, he got rid of his jacket and shirt, leaving him in a tank top, and getting back to what he was doing. You stopped in between to get rid of some of the clothing, when he had left you only in your bra and trackies, his body was on top of yours, his lips returning to yours.

-Xiao…- you whispered, he looked up, - I… I haven’t done this… with anyone…. Yet.

He didn’t look surprised. For some reason he always had assumed that you hadn’t, maybe it was just the way he saw you at first, and then, he just never bothered to ask.

-I am ok with that, - he smiled, - only if you are.

You nodded eagerly. Minutes later, he had gotten rid of your trousers, your panties on display. His arms caressed your skin, he was extra gentle and slow, to prove that you could trust him, and he would only continue if you would nod or reach for him, which you did. Your hands found themselves in his hair, pulling him closer to your own hungry body.

His hands travelled south, slipping past the waistline of your underwear, going down on your sex, you nearly bit him, since no one had touched you there, this was a new sensation, and it was making your body tingle and your heart rate going up.

-It’s ok, I just have to stretch you a bit, if that’s alright with you, - you nodded, feeling how his fingers were moving up and down on your lower lips. You knew that he is not really ok with body fluids, but for some reason he didn’t mind your wet lips nor your dripping sex.

-I should ask you the same thing, - you giggled, getting more comfortable at his touch, he smiled back.

-You might just be the reason, why it’s ok, - he replied, as simple as that.

One of his fingers found your entrance and eased its way inside, your walls snug around it. You had closed your eyes; it was making you nervous and excited. While moving one of his fingers inside your tight walls, he soon added another one. You grabbed onto his arm.

-Give me a moment, - you whispered, the feeling making your head spin, - can… can I be on top when we do this?

Xiao was surprised. Not once he had heard a request like that, but he nodded anyways, soon you had changed positions, your legs spread over his lap, his fingers working their way inside your pussy, coaxing moans from you.

-Oh, don’t stop, - you whispered, biting your lip, - please… don’t stop…

And he didn’t, he worked hard to get you to orgasm, not slowing down till you came down from your high, now completely sat on his lap. His lips found yours. Tender lips brushing yours, quiet whispers leaving his mouth to make sure you were good.

When your hands reached for his pants, it was clear that you were ok to continue, and he let you play a little bit, his hand helping you work on his member through his pants.

He moved you off his body, so he could get rid of his trousers, his dick standing proud, a happy trail towards it that you hadn’t noticed before. You gulped. How is he going to fit? Like how?

Xiao got you out of your thoughts, with his own hand, returning to his member, massaging it, you felt your throat dry out a bit. Alright, watching a porn was completely different to what was in front of you now. Then the idea of a horrible sex scene found its way to your mind, and you had to shake your head to get rid of it. No time for that bull.

He reached for you, to kiss you again, then slowly moving back to the cupboard next to his bed, taking out a condom and slowly slipping it on, then sitting back down on the bed, helping you get on top of him again. He pushed you down slightly, so your pussy lips were grinding on his naked member, sparks of pleasure went through you. You looked down and helped him position himself right under your entrance. The tip of his cock was now slowly pressing into you, your hands were on Xiao’s shoulders for stability, grabbing a bit strongly onto him now.

Xiao let you move on your own accord, watching your reaction as you sank down lower on him.

-Help me, - you whispered, and he helped to push your hips down, his dick penetrating your virgin vaginal walls, and you sank down with a hiss. A tear escaped your eyes, Xiao kissed it away, his hands caressing your sides and your back, till you nodded with a quiet “I’m ok”. The stretch was something new, a bit painful, a bit extraordinary, if you could call it that.

Xiao’s lips kissed yours, then your neck and lower to your front, just above your breasts, his hand touched one of your breasts, groping and massaging, and his lips latched onto your nipple. Your head fell back, enjoying the feeling, and your hips started to move. The burn you felt in your abdomen, was slowly fading away, your vagina pulsing around Xiao’s member, and he helped you find a rhythm. You knew, you won’t be able to keep up for much longer, but you had to make sure, you were comfortable enough to give into him completely.

He let you enjoy your ride, but then he said:

-That’s it, - and with that he flipped you over, your body under his, - you had your fun… now it’s my turn…

The lovemaking sounds were in the air, with tender kisses, slow and sensual movements, his hand touched yours, fingers entangled with yours, and his eyes searched for your eyes, the feelings felt even on a higher level. The eye contact made it even more personal, not only because this was your first time, but it was also Xiao who made it special for you.

Changing the rhythm to faster movements, coaxing more moans out of you, that he swallowed with hot kisses over your mouth, he felt you tightening around him one more time, as you orgasmed, your lips not making a single sound, only when Xiao returned to continue his pelvic thrusts to chase his own high, you moaned and screamed, driving him into oblivion, and him taking you with him, your body convulsing and turning into a hot lava, bursting at the seam, while his hot seed filled up the condom.

He held you tight against him as you both were trying to catch your breath, he pulled out slowly, earning a whine from you.

-Let’s get you cleaned up, - he said, but you didn’t allow him to move.

-Not yet, - you giggled, - stay a bit more… - your body was sweaty, and so was his, and he was not happy about it at all.

-Y/N, - he warned you.

-Yes…? – you laughed again, - too much body fluid? – you giggled, earning a sigh from Xiaojun. – if we have a bath, I will want to make you dirty again soon after that…

You said that as a fact, and Xiao shook his head.

-Ok, - he gave in, hugging you again. – but only because you asked so nicely.

-See, it’s not that bad…

-Oh, it’s bad, - he replied, - and I am still not used to this.

-But you will be…? – you smiled, kissing him.

-I will be.

[ill-skillsgard]

A little something where the reader and Kasper were together in highschool, but broke up, only to meet a few years later and rekindle their love 😭

Awww, yes! I haven't written any fluff in so longgg. And I love Kasper with my whole heart. Please, more Kasper stuff! I need him in my life. +

Sports was never your thing. You had seen the odd hockey game, took part in Superbowl festivities if not for the hoards of fried food, and caught a fraction of the Olympics every four years. By no means were you a fanatic and certainly didn't fit in with your sports fan friends, all of which had dragged you to a European football game. You agreed to go with only a flutter of hesitation. It's not that you wouldn't have fun drinking overpriced beer with your pals; it was that you had no emotional ties to either team and couldn't genuinely join in the cheer of a win or the disappointment of loss. To you, it was all just a game, and the points weren't real.

Admittedly, it was impressive watching the players finesse the ball with nothing but their feet and heads, and you cheered on with the rest of the crowd. During the hubbub of a recent goal, the guy your friends had introduced you to shook his fists and bellowed curses. His name was John, and he had been the most zealous with the fanfare and criticisms.

"Ah, we'll get 'em next time," you supplied. "It's only fifteen minutes in."

"Not with the way these guys are playing. Look, I could run circles around that forward, and our goalie is acting like a total pansy."

You flinched from the comment. John ground his teeth together and waited for the next drop-in. As you sipped your beer and sat down, the empty seats on your right filled up. Soon, you were boxed in with showgoers who all bore the colour green in some fashion. The away team's colour. This did not sit well with John, and you became invisible.

John continued to yell and boo the other team, rousing blowback from the surrounding enemy. It was okay, you told yourself. Maybe it wasn't a match. He was far too loud and not in a fun way. His comments continued deteriorating into ignorance. You kept your eyes on the field and the players, blocking out the negativity standing next to you. Your only solace was that John's screaming blended in with the other hollers and hoots from the stadium chairs. Friends to the left were fully ensconced in the intensity of the plays that they didn't notice or chose to ignore John's slurs.

The crowd tightened like a knot while the ball careened toward the home team's goalie, then snapped like a rubber band. The keeper dove a fraction too soon, and the ball sailed between outstretched arms and hit the net. It happened in a blink, and so too did the fight that broke out next to you. Your full drink flew, splashing down your shirt as you were knocked back into the stranger next to you. At first, it felt like falling. You scrunched your face in anticipation of a hit, but only two arms caught you and whirled you away from the violence.

When you looked back, you saw a white and green jersey, and beyond that, John restrained and screaming at another man in the row before.

"Are you okay?"

You looked up at the person who had shielded you from flying elbows but not from flying drinks and saw a face that aligned with the vaguest of memories. He was tall, and somehow his scent took you aback. You had breathed it before.

"Kasper?"

"Holy shit, it's you!"

"You remember me?"

"Of course I do! Oh my God. Jesus, what's going on? Are you with him?" Kasper asked.

You backed away like the rest of the units around your seat. Security recognized the scuffle, though John was well on his way out after a half-ass apology to your mutual friends. Once John's spot was vacated, they came to you with apologies. Kasper remained next to you. They dabbed at your wet shirt, but it was no use. Your front was soaked.

Kasper pulled off his jersey and tried handing it to you.

"Here. Take this. Go to the washroom, and change into it. Don't worry, it's clean. I just bought it. Plus, I have others."

"Really?"

"Yes! Go, get cleaned up and come back to watch my team whoop your team's ass!"

"Actually, I don't really have a team. This is my first game. I really don't have any stock in either of the players. I just like that they're having fun."

Kasper laughed and thrust the jersey into your arms.

"Now you have a team. Go on!"

Strangely enough, you listened to Kasper, a boy you once dated for a total of two weeks in high school. He had been an exchange student while his family temporarily relocated for work. They worked in movies, and dating Kasper had been a thrill for the whispers and enjoyable because he was a nice guy. Circumstance had forced your adolescent fling apart, but you did not part on bad terms.

After many years, the landmark of dating Kasper shrunk on your timeline until it was nothing but a blip. You thought of Kasper from time to time, though the thought of ever seeing him again seldom crossed your mind when you had done so many other things. It made the coincidence seem like fate. And when you returned to your seat wearing his jersey, the glimmer in his eyes affirmed what you hoped to be true. He was overjoyed to see you, too.

Kasper's team won the match, and as fans packed up to leave the stadium, Kasper turned to you with a mischievous smile.

"Are you in town for long?"

"A couple of days," you said.

"Come out for a drink with me."

"When" You chuckled.

"Now. We're going to a pub right now."

You looked back at your friends who had secretly deemed your chance encounter with a past beau as the best thing to happen to the entire group. They encouraged you and agreed to meet with you later on or, if things went well for any of you, in the morning.

Kasper led you out of the venue and stuck close enough your arms brushed. The conversation flew. Memories upon memories hashed, evolving into stories, questions and laughter. Soon, Kasper was touching your hand until you hooked his pinky. One small finger gave way to two, three and more. You looked down at your clasped hands, and both of you giggled and turned warm.

"I'm so glad I ran into you. You're gonna love this place," said Kasper.

"I will?"

"Yes! Don't worry. We're almost there."

Thrust under poor lighting, you met a gaggle of Kasper's friends and stood by listening to the Swedish conversations with a sheepish grin. Not long after, Kasper hid you away in the corner of a booth at an Irish pub with a similar crowd to the place you had just left. The low ceilings and sturdy décor loaned the atmosphere a cozy intimacy, and the highbacked tables shielded flirtatious looks.

"Can you believe we dated when we were kids? What did we know about anything back then?"

"I can believe it. You were pretty. You're still pretty. And fun. Wait... You're not seeing anyone, are you?"

"Do you think I'd be holding your hand if I were?"

Kasper blushed. "Yeah, I guess not."

"I'm glad we ran into each other, too. Can you believe my friends tried setting me up with that asshole at the game? They texted me and said he's usually chill. He must have had too many beers and lost his filter, so they say."

"Who cares about that guy."

You stared at Kasper's welcoming lips, turned up lazily and lopsided. There was enough glow on his face to light your private little corner. Kasper turned down another beer and continued staring at you like he was expecting you to say something.

"I'm just going to come out and say it... I really wanna kiss you right now. Can I do that?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

The words slipped from your mouth, and soft, plushy kisses took your breath and replaced it with the taste of beer and tongue. You settled close to Kasper, circling his torso and splaying your hands on his back. He clutched your shoulders and stroked your collarbones and the sides of your neck. When he scooped your jaw upward to ease his angle, you both pulled away slowly and watched your eyes open.

"What else are you doing tonight?" Kasper asked.

"You tell me."

"Should I behave? I don't want to put pressure on you."

"No way. I have the night to myself, and I'd love to see where it goes."

"Well, aren't I lucky?"

[babbushka]

I’m confused, I was always taught that Reagan was one of the best and most progressive presidents we ever had, granted I went to a Catholic school way back when, what did Ronny do? (In a not accusatory or snippy way)

Hello my dear anon! Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to talk about this, because while I am firmly a believer that everyone can have their own political opinions, objectively, Raegan literally ruined the country through something called Raeganomics -- and that's not just an exaggeration.

Here are some of his biggest lasting legacies that make people remember him in a negative light:

Purposeful inaction on HIV/AIDs

Purposefully widened income inequality through 'trickle-down' economics

Suppression of unions

Slashing of public assistance

Excessive corporate influence on government

Explanations under the cut (with links to articles for further reading, if you're so inclined)!

Purposeful inaction on HIV/AIDs

One of the most notable things that Raegan was responsible for was his failed response to addressing the HIV/AIDs crisis. The first case was recorded in 1981, but one of the first nationally pieces of recognition, the New York Times, posting an article about it in 1982. This was when it was first called GRID, or Gay-Related Immune Deficiency. Because it was affecting primarily gay men, the general public, and the government itself, did not feel any need to stop the disease from spreading. Literally, because it was the gay disease, the overall perception was that this was God sending a cure for the country.

Raegan said and did nothing, not about the disease, or about the deaths, or about the hate crimes that were growing more and more prevalent against queer people. So despite YEARS of begging and marching and millions of people dead -- it's not until 1985 when he even publicly acknowledges the disease that had thousands of Americans dropping dead on his watch. It's not until 1987 when the administration finally forms a committee to look into trying to cull the disease. 47,000 Americans are estimated to have been affected by AIDs by then. It's not until Ryan White, a straight white young man who contracts AIDs and dies when he is only 18 in 1990, that the disease becomes a matter of importance for the rest of the country, because suddenly they understood that disease does not discriminate. HIV/AIDs is still a disease that we deal with today, with over 1.1 million people living with AIDs today in the united states.

Purposefully widened income inequality

It is no secret that associated with the Raegan administration is something called 'Raeganomics', which, while being a very complicated economic theory, ultimately boils down to establishing a "trickle-down" economy. Where, in theory, those at the very top who hold the majority of wealth in the nation, allow that wealth to move down through the middle and lower classes by either investing it or spending it in communities.

And of course, as is well evident, that just, didn't happen. The wealthiest of the nation received large tax cuts in order to hold onto their wealth to trickle down, but instead of actually spending it, they put their money into off-shore banks and then asked for more. I could get into the why's or how's of economics, but just know this -- the tax rate used to be anywhere from 71 and 94% for the highest tax bracket, money that was used to fund this nation's infrastructure, roads and schools, maintain a healthy economy, provide public services and budgets for progressive programs.

Raegan slashed it down to 28%, and in doing so widened the income inequality gap almost immediately, something that we're still seeing today. The reason why you and your family pay more money in taxes than billionaires like Bezos and Musk is directly because of Raeganomics.

Suppression of unions

The backbone of this nation has always been fought by the Unions, which are organized groups of laborers who fight for better working conditions, safer working conditions, and good pay. The reason you have a weekend is thanks to the unions. The reason why we don't have child labor is thanks to the unions. And in the 1950s, 60s, and 70s, unions were an incredibly powerful part of working society, because they ensured that workers would not and could not be exploited by the CEOs who want so desperately to exploit them. Well, thanks to Raeganomics and the tax cuts, CEOs were starting to play a much larger role in the The Raegan administration, and ultimately, Raegan sided with them to effectively put measures in place that slashed the importance or power of unions.

It first started with dismantling the Air Traffic Controller's union, then followed up with slashing taxes for the elite rich who employed the union workers. Then it continued when the recession that the tax cuts caused laid off workers in the auto industry, and still declined when he appointed a "management-sided" man named Donald Dotson to chair the National Labor Relations Board.

But what really put the nail in the coffin, was his push for something called the Right To Work law, which mean that state governments have the option to not fund or support unions, removed protections for unions, and that employees do not have to join unions if they don't want to. What happened as a result, is that companies began firing employees who threatened to unionize, turning the unions from having great PR, to being a thing of fear.

This is directly related to why minimum wage has been so low for so long. Thank Raegan for that.

Slashing of public assistance

Because of the enormous tax cuts for the ultra rich, the country fell into a deep recession, and as a result many programs were cut for the poorest of the nation. Food Stamps, the Comprehensive Employment and Training Act, Federal guaranteed loan programs for higher education, Legal Assistance, etc., all took a big hit.

The reason your student loans are through the roof? Raegan. The reason unemployment benefits are near impossible to navigate? Raegan. Directly his fault.

Excessive corporate influence on government

I think one of the things that's very important to understand is that Raegan was a film actor before he went into politics and became president (sound like someone else we know?) and he was actually neither a Democrat nor a Republican -- he was a Libertarian. And what Libertarians do, is look at America like a business. Which is exactly what Raegan did, and exactly why his presidency fucked up our nation. He thought that the president was like the CEO, and that the people were employees, which, is fundamentally not how that works.

So it's with no surprise that he allowed SUPER-PACs to completely take over political parties in accepting money donated heavily by them to write the policies that shape this country. The reason why so many politicians, particularly Republicans, are in their seats of power is because of the millions or sometimes billions of dollars that CEOs fund them, to write the laws they want. That's entirely Raegan's fault, and at his encouragement.

So, from these 6 major things alone, we have a country that has been ravaged by disease, thrown into poverty and recession, killed the middle class, boosted the wealthy 1%, accrued enormous amounts of debt, and prevented economic mobility for anyone to hope to climb out of it. And that's not even mentioning his war on drugs and increase of mass incarceration for privatized prisons, his insane military budget leading a larger budget deficit, the Iran-Contra scandal, among many many other things.

As I said earlier, people are allowed to think he's a great president if they want, but factually, his actions (and inactions) have fundamentally and irreparably broken the economic landscape of our nation for the poor, working classes.

I encourage you to research further into this, if you so desire. There's a lot more than I mentioned here, I only picked what I thought to be the most famous of his failures as a president.

[trillian-anders]

first blood

pairing: ransom drysdale x reader

warnings:  angst, general asshole-ness.

word count: 4.6k  

description: part 3 of 5. how did you become ransom’s glorified babysitter? and why the fuck are you keeping this job? who knows. you hate it, you hate him, but... the money. 

note: tumblr is being super shitty rn so I can only post on mobile, but I really wanted to get this off my desk! will add a read more and properly link later 💕

prequel to the assistant && four christmases, spoiler free loves. 

You have to do this.

You have to do this.

You have to do this.

You don’t think your eyes will ever feel normal again. They were dry and scratchy. There were no more tears to shed. You’d buried your Mom two months ago, but you didn’t know how it would ever feel okay. She did everything for you and Julia. Everything. She worked hard, made pretty good money, allowed you to have a part time job and just focus on school. Julia was in this really nice private school, she played the cello now for fucks sake. She had friends and was talking about maybe starting soccer soon, but after funeral costs and your sister’s tuition the life insurance money was running out.

You had to sell the house.

You’d moved the two of you into a small apartment right outside of Chinatown. Not the safest area, but not the most unsafe either. You’d be fine. You had each other, and she needed you to do this. You had to do this.

For her.

You sat uncomfortably in the cheap office chair, sitting across from a woman with too many papers on her desk, everything sloppily arranged around a couple of potted succulents and a framed picture of her and her three kids, no spouse.

“So your last job was in tutoring?” She asked you. You shifted nervously in your seat, nodding your head,

“Yeah, I tutored a high school student in English and Math.” You needed some water. The cheap pencil skirt and blouse you were wearing made your skin itch. She types into her computer some more.

“So why are you here?” She asked, “Why not continue tutoring?” A few more clicks and then more typing.

“The family I worked for paid me pretty well,” You admitted, “But she’s graduating this year and they didn’t need me anymore, I don’t really,” You cleared your throat, “I don’t really have much job experience outside of that and I need to start making money now… I’ve put out job applications but haven’t really gotten any luck.” Not with the income you needed anyway. The woman nodded. The plaque on her desk said her name is Stacy Chandler.

“Alright, here you are.” A printed page, address, date, and time. A job. Clerical work. Data entry. You have to do this...

-

“How was your last day of school?” Julia sat heavily at the kitchen table, backpack slumped on the floor next to her. She buried her face in her arms.

“I’m never going again.” Came muffled from her mouth. She lifted her head to look at you. The beginnings of puberty. You’d recently gone bra shopping for the first time. Real ones, no more training bras. You’d recently taken her to the dermatologist for her acne, but she’s not good at remembering to put on the expensive creams you bought. What a hard time. You don’t envy her.

“Luckily for you,” You smiled, placing a fudgy brownie in front of her, “You don’t have to go back for three whole months!” She rolled her eyes heavily, taking the brownie and disappearing into her room presumably to sit on her computer until dinner.

She was feeling the absence of your Mother just as you were. You weren’t sure what to do here. You loved your sister and you know she loves you too, but in the last few months it’s just been closed doors and a few parting sentences. Only because you had to work so much. Only because she spent a lot of time at friend’s houses where you’d think she would feel normal for a while. It would help ease the burden of being in your mid-twenties and suddenly feeling like a single mother. Of course you can sleep over at Mila’s house, her family is going to their cabin for the weekend of course you can go!

You didn’t know what to do other than keeping her in school and alive. You weren’t ready for this. But the only other option was your estranged aunt who reeked of mothballs and was constantly asking you if you were married, or dating, or ‘You’re Mother wouldn’t have wanted this’. No. It was very clear that your Mom wanted the two of you to stay together, and that’s how it’s going to be.

This summer she was going to spend with her friend Mila at their family’s lake house. Mila’s mother was a stay at home mom with six kids under the age of 12 and would be planning to spend the summer pintresting activities and projects with them while simultaneously getting out of her stuffy-old 10 bedroom, 8 bathroom mansion. Lucky her. Lucky Julia.

The apartment would be empty without the 12-year-old pre-teen for three months, but Julia has really been looking forward to it. Her bags were packed and ready by the door.

You hugged her tightly in front of Mila’s house, burying your face in her hair, partially not wanting her to go, but otherwise knowing that she’s going to have a better time than you could ever provide her. “Okay, you can let me go now.” She shifted in your arms, trying to pull away.

“Just another minute.” You mumbled, pulling her in tighter. “I’m gonna miss you.” She laughed,

“I’m gonna miss you too.” The two of you pulled apart and you tucked her hair behind her ears, cupping her sweet face.

“I love you,” You said very seriously, “If you ever want to come home just-”

“I’ll let you know.” She was getting impatient, the car Mila’s mom was taking to the lake house, a beautifully large black Range Rover sat packed next to you, they were waiting. “I love you too.” She slowly backed away towards the car.

“If she gets homesick, my husband still comes back every week for work so he can bring her home if need be,” Andrea was her name, Mila’s Mom. “She’ll be fine.” Andy was really nice. She made a lot of the food the two of you had eaten in the early days after your Mom’s death. Her gentle reassurance soothed you slightly. It made driving away a little easier, but it didn’t stop the tears that fell as you entered your apartment, alone. For the first time in a while. You didn’t have to hold it in anymore.

You sunk down against your front door, staring out into your living room, tears rolling down your cheeks in the silence of the home. Dirty shoes lined up against the wall, throw blanket hanging halfway off the couch, dirty dishes from breakfast still in the sink, and somewhere you’re sure under all of it was the will to pick yourself back up.

You just didn’t know if you were ready for that quite yet.

But you did it anyway.

More clerical work. More data entry. More bills going half paid and others being ignored all together. Student loans you didn’t even want to think about from a school where you hadn’t even graduated. Medical bills you didn’t even know where to begin paying back, itchy stockings, and uncomfortable shoes. With every day that passed you reexamined your life. How did you get here?

A new job, a new office. Temp assigned, but you knew who worked here. The building that housed it stood tall against the Boston skyline. Contemporary. You sat comfortably in a cushy office chair. The plaque on the desk read Linda Drysdale, CEO. And you waited.

You hadn’t seen the Thrombey’s, let alone the Drysdale branch of the family, for five months. Zero contact. Joni had talked to you last, thanking you for helping Meg, but also trying to sell you eye cream. “You really should invest in taking better care of yourself.” Which was her kind way of trying to tell you that you look old. Thanks.

You couldn’t imagine what Linda would want you for. You’d been doing some filing, they were transferring all of their documents to digital and hired extra help to do so, you were one of three hired from your particular temp agency, but yesterday she had called you personally and asked you to come in for an appointment today at 3 pm. And here you are.

Waiting.

There was a portrait of her family on the wall. Linda herself sitting in a high backed intricate chair, her husband Richard standing to her right, and to her left was her son, Hugh. He went by his middle name Ransom. They were stone faced, serious looking. This painting seemed ridiculous. If you didn’t know the Thrombey’s you’d think it was there to be ironic, as a joke, a play on what rich families were like.

But they were a rich family, and this is what they were like.

Linda was self-serving. She only ever talked to you when it suited her own interests and as soon as she was satisfied she would quickly direct her attention somewhere else, to someone more important. She used you to get what she wanted and when you served her purpose you were gone. She had no time for anyone, only her father. Anything for Harlan.

Richard was a predator. He was always making an uncomfortable comment about either your body or your face. He stood uncomfortably close at times and liked to settle a hand on the small of your back. He was a well kept man, throwing his wife’s money around like it was his own. He kept a money clip of hundreds in his pocket.

Ransom was a piece of shit. He was a self-centered egotistical asshole who was sure to make your life a living hell every time he saw you. There was always a comment, a jab at your clothes, your hair, the fact that you are poor. He once ‘accidentally’ threw your cardigan away because, “I thought it was one of those fucking rags you dust with, I didn’t want it touching my burberry.” He, like his father, felt predatory. Something about being a rich white man just really got them going, and the money clip with the hundreds… a learned habit.

“Alright,” Linda’s voice came from the doorway, you turned slightly in your seat. She was on the phone, “Well we will send Michael out to show them the properties instead, I’m sure we’ll find something they like.” She gave you a finger, hold on, even though you’d been sitting here patiently waiting for her for close to twenty minutes now. “Okay,” She continued, “Sounds good.” Sitting down in her chair, tapping a few keys to illuminate her computer screen. “Alright now, bye-bye.” She took her phone from her ear, looking down at the screen before placing it face down on the desk and smiling at you.

You knew that smile. She wanted something.

“So, Y/N right?” You nodded, “I see you’re looking for work.”

“Well, I’m with a temp agency right now but-”

“Would you like something a little more permanent?” A permanent job? The Thrombey’s had paid you very well to tutor Meg, better than you were making now. Granted you had only worked 15 hours a week when you were tutoring her, so $20 an hour didn’t seem like that big of a deal, but if they were looking for something, anything full time…

“Absolutely,” You smiled, shifting in your seat, “I’ve had trouble being hired because my-”

“Okay so you’re going to need Ransom’s number, and you’ll start tomorrow.” Your smile dropped.

“Ransom needs a tutor?” You asked skeptically. She laughed.

“No, he needs an assistant.” She gestured towards herself, “I can’t keep telling him when or where to be for family events and he has a fairly active social life so I’m gifting him an assistant for his birthday.” Oh.

“I uhm,” You really didn’t want to work for Ransom. You REALLY didn’t want to work for Ransom. “How much would it…?” You trailed off nervously.

“My father paid you $20 an hour to tutor Meg, yes?” She asked, typing something into her computer, no longer looking at you.

“Yes, he did.” You moved trying to see what she was typing without bringing too much attention to it. She was drafting an email.

“So I’ll pay you the same. Ransom will set hours for you and decide what days of the week he’ll need you and what else he wants you to do,” She waved her hand dismissively, “Cleaning, cooking, whatever.” She scribbled on a post-it before peeling and handing it to you. “Here’s his number and address, you can go over the particulars of your job tomorrow morning.” You opened your mouth to speak again, ask her the million and one questions you have but before you could say anything she dismissed you, “That is all.” She said. And she was done with you.

She got what she wanted. And now she wanted you to leave.

So you did.

“Well,” He grinned, “Linda really scooped you up from the bottom of the barrel, huh?” You stood on Ransom’s front porch. The only texts you sent and received last night were ‘What time do you need me to be there?’ and an hour later the reply of ‘11’. The scumbag was standing in the doorway, leant against the frame, looking down on you. In more than one way.

“Can I come in?” You asked. You really didn’t want to do this. But a $12 an hour temp job versus $20 hour stability… hard to beat. He smirked, pushing off the frame before looking you up and down, turning to disappear into the house.

“Take off your shoes.” What a fucking joke. His house was a mess. Clothes thrown haphazardly around, a pile of dishes not in the sink, but on the counter. Abandoned cups, tv was rolling on in the background, some political documentary. The house, while contemporary and clean, well kept on the outside. The inside looked like a frat house during rush week. You didn’t want to take off your shoes in fear that you’d step in vomit or something worse.

He grinned off to the side, “Had some people over last night.” He explained, drinking what looked like orange juice from a coffee mug. The vodka bottle that was capless on the counter led you to believe that orange juice wasn’t the only thing in the cup. “You can start by cleaning up.” He gestured around, sinking back down into the sofa. “I’m sure I’ll think of something else you can do when you’re done.” The fucking prick.

You shut the door a little heavier than intended, slipping your sneakers off and placing them by the door. “You’ve got a laundry room?” You asked, he didn’t look away from the television,

“Basement.” And he was done with you too. The tone was very, don’t talk to me. Which honestly you were grateful for.

You cleaned up his messes, the red solo cups that littered almost every surface in every room, laundry was running in the basement, dishwasher working hard to sanitize the first round of plates and cups that could fit, the others waiting patiently in the sink as you wipe counters and dusted picture frames, the thick film of unappreciation. He didn’t care about his house, his furniture, the art that cost more than your apartment that lined his walls. His clothes, while having an extensive closet, some were threadbare and with holes.

He didn’t care.

And it made you angry.

You thought of the furniture you were able to keep from your Mother’s house, well oiled and kept. No scratches. The fabrics of the couches and chairs carefully cleaned and maintained.

His sheets were stained and you were unsure when the last time he had washed them actually was. The dampness made you gag. It wasn’t long before you were cleaning under his feet. His ankles crossed and feet resting on the coffee table as you straightened the area around him. You felt his eyes on you, briefly, but ignored it.

“Do you have any real clothes?” He asked suddenly. He stood from the sofa, rounding it to pull the vodka bottle back out from the cabinet you’d placed it in, pouring heavily into the coffee mug before leaving the bottle and the orange juice carton he followed with next to it.

“These are real clothes.” You stated, coming behind him to put the items away. He scoffed,

“I’m important,” He claimed, “I go to parties, events.” He took a large mouthful of the screwdriver he’d just made, “You can’t wear clothes like that if you’re gonna be babysitting me the whole time.” You rolled your eyes,

“I don’t have to go. You set my hours, I don’t-”

“As much as I love the whole, ‘I’m poor and don’t care what I look like’, thing you have going on,” Ransom laughed, “You’re gonna be around me, and as a reflection of me, you need to look presentable.” He gestured to the demin shorts a t-shirt you were currently wearing, mismatched socks on your feet. You felt your face flush. “And slap a little makeup on.” You rolled your eyes at that. Fucking dick. He smirked when you didn’t reply, turning back around to leave you and disappeared upstairs.

He didn’t come down for a while. In that time you’d finished cleaning the living area, the house looking a complete 180 from where it had been when you’d originally entered, it was nearing dinner time. Your stomach was growling and you’d realized you had been cleaning for five hours without stopping.

You didn’t get to enjoy the sense of accomplishment because Ransom came down the stairs not a moment later, dressed for his evening. If you didn’t hate him so much you’d drool. He looked good. Patterned slacks, chelsea boots, a lightweight white button down, blazer over one arm. “Let’s go.” He said, not stopping on his way towards the front door.

“Where are we going?” You felt gross, covered in grime from cleaning, sweat dried on your skin you knew you probably didn’t smell amazing, hair frizzed up in a bun. He didn’t answer you, continuing outside. You sighed heavily, throwing the pair of socks you’d just matched back into the laundry basket before slipping your shoes on and following him outside.

“C’mon!” He yelled from the front seat of his beamer, sunglasses on his nose, he was annoyed with you. Whatever. You sat heavily in his passenger seat, the dickwad not even giving you time to close the door before he was speeding down the driveway.

“Where are we going?” You asked again. One hand on the wheel, the other’s fingertips brushing against his lower lip he looked at you from behind his sunglasses.

“To dinner.” He smirked, looking back towards the road as you merged onto the interstate.

He was a fucking asshole. If you hadn’t thought he was before you definitely knew now. You were surprised the hostess even let you into this place. It was expensive, and you were very, very underdressed. Point taken Ransom. Thank you. Fucking prick.

He took glances at you ever so often, seated a few feet away from him at the long banquet style table that housed all of his ‘friends.’ Gorgeous women and equally as gorgeous men who had money to burn. You weren’t sure any of these people have ever worked a day in their life, much like Ransom himself. You’d met a few of them before, briefly, when Ransom would show up and ask Harlan for money before disappearing for a week, one or two of them would be in tow bragging about going on some guy’s yacht or flying out to some private island.

Regardless, they weren’t talking to you. You were a strange interloper, easily ignored, but only after a few poked fun at the stray dog at Ransom’s heels. It only stung a little bit when he laughed with them. You were wildly uncomfortable. You poked at your deconstructed salad, the little bits lined neatly up on the plate, a smear of salad dressing beside it. This menu was ridiculous. Why were you here again? You were so hungry and this was not your speed at all. Ransom’s booming laugh met your ears and you could feel the anger rising in your chest.

Fucking asshole. You hoped he would choke on one of the olives in his martini. His eyes met yours momentarily and he smirked. He fucking smirked, cheersing you with his martini before it met his lips again. You could kill him right now.

The money.

The money.

Technically you were still working. As the sun set behind the horizon. You’d been at work, technically, for about 10 hours. That’s $200. Okay, you can do this. You can do this.

You know he did this to embarass you. He made it clear when you’d pull up to the restaurant to give you a taunting look. Whether the dinner was already planned or he had planned it after the conversation about clothes and makeup earlier was anyone’s guess. You had the feeling it was the latter.

He’d paid the bill after all.

The entirety of it.

You’d wished you’d ordered more.

Afterward a giggling girl took your place in the front seat, you glared at the back of her head from the back seat,

“Ransom.” She whined, leaning over in her seat to press her lips to his neck, “I want you to fuck me.” Lips around his ear, sucking the lobe into her mouth. You shifted your gaze to the window, the city landscape passing your eyes as you’d pulled into another valet parking, a bar this time. A nice one.

Ransom and the bubbly girl from the car ride over slipped hastily into the bathroom, he’d sent you a dark look before leaving you to your own devices. Looking over the cocktail list while sitting uncomfortably on a bar stool while your boss was fucking a girl who’d laughed at you for being a ‘dog’ earlier in the bathroom of a bar that had a $20 old fashioned and their most expensive wine came with a thousand dollar price tag.

“You lost?” Another smirking asshole, sidled up next to you at the bar as you took a sip from the beautifully balanced old fashioned you’d tacked onto Ransom’s tab. He was handsome, the guy bothering you, almost everyone in this room was handsome. The lights low and romantic, candles on every table and across the bar, soft music played from the piano across the room where a man sat gently stroking the melodies to create the ambiance of the room. Close, cozy, romantic, and dark enough to forget yourself in.

“Oh c’mon honey.” The man slipped onto the barstool, thighs spread wide around you as you face away from him, his hand meeting your back. “I can help you find what you’re looking for.” His breath reeked of alcohol. You glanced over at him,

“I’m fine thank you.” Another sip, damn this drink was good. He chuckled, moving in closer, drifting a hand down to your thigh.

“Don’t be like that.” He laughed, “You obviously don’t belong here honey.” His hand traced your bare thigh, “You’ve gotta be wanting some company.”

Ransom had returned face flushed and you could almost see a tiny bit of white on his nose, but it was quickly rubbed away. He sat on the opposite end of the bar, the girl from earlier taking his lap. He looked down at you briefly, he had to have seen how uncomfortable you were, how this guy was breathing down your neck. He ignored it, ordering a drink from the bartender.

“I don’t want any company,” You shoved the man’s hand away, “Have a great night.” He leaned back in his seat, downing his drink before leaning back over to put his face in yours.

“Fucking ugly bitch.” He spat, standing from the stool, “Tryna give you a little charity here, you could've at least been grateful.” You wanted to leave. He shoved your shoulder slightly as he walked away from you, no doubt going to bother some other unsuspecting woman in his radius.

You needed some air, taking the last sip of your drink you’d scooted back from the bar, walking by Ransom to take your exit, walking out into the summer night. It was early summer. It was still only 60 at night. A chill went through you. You hadn’t expected to be out so late, the comfortable denim shorts and old ratty t shirt you’d chosen to wear had obviously been a mistake for this day. Ransom made sure to make you see that.

The bar was on the harbor, and it brought in a breeze that caused goosebumps to rise on your skin. You checked your phone, the battery almost dead. Julia had been texting you periodically, but not as much as you would have liked. You scrolled through the most recent messages, you asking how her trip was going and what she was up to and her stilted replies. She was busy you supposed. She didn’t need you, but right now you really needed her.

This night has been a massive blow to your self-esteem. You’d never felt more ugly and unwanted in your life. You just wanted to go home, but Ransom wasn’t done yet. You looked at him from the window, his fingers were gone between that girl’s thighs, they were both drinking expensive cocktails, completely oblivious to you.

He’d watched you exit, not giving it much thought it seemed, because he hadn’t made any motion to bring the night to a close, but you weren’t really expecting him to. It was Ransom’s world and you were just living in it. You worked for him. And you wondered if this is how every day is going to be from here on out. You really don’t know if you could do this forever, but you knew you didn’t want to go back inside.

So you didn’t.

Thankfully Ransom stumbled out about thirty minutes later, girl from earlier on his arm. “Let’s go.” He said. Valet pulling the beamer around he threw you the keys, “Take me home.”

He sunk down in the back seat, high and drunk. His words almost incoherent. Her’s were no better. They sloppily attacked each other in the back seat, indecently. And you were pointedly looking anywhere but in the rearview. Soft grunts and moans made you uncomfortable for the fourth time that night. Your skin crawling in unease as the girl’s giggles turned into breathy moans. Your foot sunk against the gas pedal in hopes you’d get back to his home faster, tears welling up in your eyes. The cry on the way home was going to be so good. So cathartic.

The gravel crunching against the wheels of the car was a sweet relief, so was the haste in which you left the keys in the car, running and skipped to your own car. His eyes met yours through the darkness as he was leant up against his car door, slacks loose around his hips, the girl’s lips attached to his neck as her hand worked quickly between his thighs. He smirked, waving a sarcastic ‘good-bye’. You turned your eyes to the road, cranking up the radio as you began to cry.

You didn’t want to do this anymore.

A text came through right as you finally laid down in your own bed, snuggling into the covers, ready to forget the night.

See you at 9.

.

.

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