#did you know eleanor means shining light? falls to the floor

[crimson-dianxia]

t4t painland is real TO ME

original meme

[maelstroms-blog]

Part 3...i think

Thank you again to @tringstarruuu for drawing and giving me permission to write for their AU

Enjoy

Hob grunted as he sat up, followed by a swear and a sigh. Blearily, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, ignoring the rough texture of his face. It was just his nightmare, leaking into reality, but, when he looked down at his hand, it was wrinkled, sprouting with grey hairs. The nightmare was real. Hob covered his face, tracing the new grooves on his cheeks, balling his fists into his hair. In the pale morning light, his hair took on the colour of dandelion seeds, and that sent a jolt of pain into his heart.

He let out a watery sigh, trying to stop the heaving in his chest before it started. His old, weak chest, his every breath rattling. Flinging the blankets off, he swung out his legs, shivering as his bare feet touched the floor.

'That wizard,' he rasped, noting his changed voice, 'That damn, beautiful wizard.'

Surely, he would have the cure for this. Of course, that would mean travelling into the Waste-the very thought dampened his resolve. The Waste was a no man's land where the wickedest witches and wizards traversed. Cursing whoever and whatever they came across for fun, or fighting each other in some bid for new magic. No mortal dared to cross that land. Luckily, Hob had nothing else to lose. He would either end up lifting his curse, or dying. Win-win honestly. With a grunt and a worryingly creaking sound, he got up, looking out his window as he did.

The town was slowly waking up, bakers lighting up their fires, fishermen heading down to the pier, and over the bustling signs of life, his eye was drawn to the horizon, or, more accurately, the hulking mass of metal creeping over the landscape. The wizard Dream's castle.

Hours passed, and Hob was no closer to reaching that damn castle. Yes, the terrain was rough, craggy rocks dotted the non-existent path that an able-bodied person would struggle with. In Hob's current state, every step felt like it could be his last. He had to take more and more breaks, breaks that did nothing but fuel his irritation. The ache in his legs another nail in his coffin. It was his sixth break when he was seriously considering just staying there. keeping still until nature took over. The grass would spread to his extremities like a rash, roots would burrow into his flesh, maybe his skull could become a home to a family of birds. Eleanor would have liked that.

Before he could fall down that particular hole again, his fingers found something smooth. Polished wood. Hob turned, sticking out of a thorn bush was a stick. Dark, knobbled, with a shine that meant it was varnished. A cane, and it was a sturdy looking one.

'Are the fates finally smiling down on me?'

Wiping his hands on his shawl, he grabbed hold. It took an embarrassingly long time to free the stick, the tangle of thorns stronger than it looked. Then, with a sound like ripping fabric, the cane was finally free. Hob paused to take a breath, a breath he wasted on a cry of surprise.

A face was staring down at him, an eerie face. Black, triangle eyes with a crooked smile, carved on a big pumpkin, complete with a tattered suit and hat. Hob took another breath, trying to calm his racing heart, thumping against his tender chest. It was just a scarecrow. He released it, waiting for the inevitable clatter. It never came. Hob blinked and turned his head. The scarecrow, still standing upright, still stared him down with empty eyes. Hob blinked again, the thing didn’t even sway in the wind.

Suddenly, it turned on the spot, shoving its outstretched hand in his face. Hob jumped back, tripping over his own feet. This thing was bewitched, much like him. Someone obviously tried getting rid of the thing, and here comes Hob, dithering like an idiot, and frees the damn thing.

The fates had changed their minds.

Hob turned to run, not that he would get far, when something touched his shoulder. For some reason, Hob glanced back, not knowing what to expect. Hanging out of the scarecrow's sleeve was a stick, a proper stick. Hob just blinked, and it finally clicked.

'Are you-Are you giving me a stick?'

The scarecrow wobbled, its way of nodding,

'Oh.' Hob's cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

It was the perfect size for him. It took the strain off his knees, he almost felt like he could run, if it weren't for his back.

'Thank you,' Hob smiled, dropping it when he saw the scarecrow without an arm. Its empty sleeve flapped in the wind, its big, orange face staring down in silence. Before, he would have felt a twinge of sadness for the thing, instead, he felt nothing.

'Thanks again,' he clutched his shawl tighter, 'A place to stay would be more useful, though.' His tone was sharper than he meant, and the scarecrow turned its back, almost hitting Hob's face with its sleeve. The tapping of the stick gradually faded, leaving Hob alone once again, nothing but the wind and his thoughts for company.

'Well,' he sighed, 'That killed a few minutes.'

Now, back to the arduous task at hand, his knee was already protesting again. As he took the first step, the chill of a sudden fog crept in. Its cold fingers trailing down his neck. The dank, grey fog crawled down the hill like some lumbering beast, blocking his view of the horizon. Hob pushed through his groaning knees, lost in his thoughts a sound broke through. He thought it was his heart pounding in his ears, struggling with the extra strain. No, this was more wooden.

Hopping back into view was the scarecrow, trails of fog clung to him like cigarette smoke. Hob dropped the stick in shock, not at the sight of the pumpkin head, but at the huge machine behind him. Dream's moving castle, and it looked rough.

From where he stood, he heard the groaning creaks, just like his knees. The castle, though Hob was loathe to call it that anymore, was a wreck, there was no other way of putting it. Red rust covered the thing like moss, uneven patches were stuck to the metal, and the windows, what few there were, were cracked. Hob was embarrassed to even look at it. How the hell could this be a castle? If this was his only hope for a cure, he better get used to having a bent back. He shot a glare at the pumpkin headed scarecrow, even though it was only trying to help.

Still, even though he didn’t like it, it was here now. He staggered towards the would-be castle, pain stabbing his chest as he hurried. He huffed and puffed, the scarecrow hopping just a bit in front, goading him on. Hob would've cursed if he had the breath to spare. He reached out, straining to grab the rail. His fingers brushed against cold metal, stretching until his shoulder popped, and he had it. Almost dragging himself down in the process. He was on the steps with a terribly awkward hop, clutching onto the sought after rail. He waited to get his breath back before turning around,

'Come on, Pumpkinhead! Hop like your life depends on it!'

The scarecrow was in hopping distance, Hob reached out for him, but a bang came from above them. A torrent of black smoke spilled into the air, and the machine picked up speed. Hob had to grip the railing with both hands. The tapping faded; Hob looked up just in time to see Pumpkinhead swallowed up by the fog. He tried not to feel sad; it was just a scarecrow he told himself, and yet, he stood there, waiting for it to appear again.

With that over, Hob turned back to the little door, its awkward shape forcing him to duck his head. The handle clunked as he turned it, the hinges loudly resisting as it opened. Despite that, it snapped shut behind him, like he was an animal in a trap. Hob shivered, ears ringing from the abrupt silence. As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, a spark drew his attention, the hearth came to life. The sudden light burning his eyes. The first thing he noticed were the books, piles upon piles of heavy tomes surrounded him. The dusty smell of paper making his nose wrinkle. Then, he found a chair, and nothing else mattered.

He fell into the chair, letting out an almost sinful moan. His knees and back cried out in relief. Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back, the warmth enveloping him like a blanket. He didn’t even bother removing his shawl. He could feel slumber calling to him, the promise of a dreamless sleepHe could feel slumber calling to him, the promise of a dreamless sleep enticing him. He could hear its voice clearly, a chirping male voice,

'HEY!'

Hob started, wincing at the sudden movement. He blinked, finding himself staring into a face, coming out of the flames, no, it was made of flames. The flickering flames were like puffed up feathers, two burning coals peered into his soul like eyes, its golden beak making it look like a crow. Hob blinked again, yawning,

'Um…hello? Are you a crow?'

The fire crow blazed brighter, its beak clicking in annoyance,

'What's it look like?'

'…You look like a crow, a burning one.'

The fire crow huffed, light dimming.

'I'm not supposed to open the door to strays,' his eyes were the definition of a burning glare.

Hob, too tired and sore to argue, just sighed, 'Throw me out then,' he settled further in his chair, 'If you can.'

'I would if I could,' the flames swirled, sending out a wave of ash from the hearth, 'As you can see, I'm cursed, much like you.'

The words broke through the fog in Hob's brain, 'You know I'm-,' his jaw clicked shut before he could utter the word, Hob frowned, straining to unhinge his jaw. Luckily, the fire understood.

'Hard not to,' the fire crow tutted, he got brighter, leaning in close to look at him. Hob squinted at his light.

'And, brother, you got a bad one,' he hummed, the sound making an ember spark, 'Almost as bad as mine.'

With another crack, the fire crow was inches from Hob's face,

'Perhaps we can make a deal?'

Hob brought a hand up to his face, as if that would shield him from the heat,

'What?'

'A deal,' the grin obvious in his voice, 'You help me, and I help you,'

Hob scoffed, 'I may be old, but I'm not stupid,' he breathed out, watching the flames shy away,

'The one rule around these parts is never to make deals with demons,' Hob leaned forward, exhaling deeply. The fire crow cringed,

'And that's what you are, isn’t it?'

The flames flickered sullenly, '…It's not all I am.'

Hob sat back, shaking his head, amused, 'Right…'

'No, really, I know I'm a demon, but I'm cursed just like you,'

Hob sighed, rubbing a hand over his wrinkled face,

'Even if that's true, how am I meant to help? Look at me, I'm no use to you.' The words didn’t hurt as much as they once did. The old adage was true, Time heals all wounds.

'Why doesn’t the wizard Dream help you?'

The fire crow blazed, turning white hot, and hissing,

'You think I haven’t thought of that?! He's cursed too!'

That made Hob stop. He assumed Dream had trapped the fire demon. He thought he was so powerful that curses would bounce from him like water off a duck's back. But no, like a plague outbreak, each of them was infected with a curse. Just like that, what little hope Hob had was snuffed out, like a hearth doused in water. Something bubbled up inside him, an emotion, not the familiar bitter tang of grief, or metallic taste of rage, this was something else. A sound slipped from his mouth before he could stop it, followed by another, and another. Laughter. It had been so long he forgot the sound. It wrenched its way out of his throat, painful yet freeing. His only shot at returning to normal, and it was gone. He laughed louder. Leaning forward from the force, hurting his sides. Glancing at the fire, tilting his head like the bird he resembled.

'You alright?'

The question sent him into another fit, he flapped tiny flames in alarm.

'Alright? Alright!' He slapped his thighs, grinning at the demon,

'I'm screwed!' He chuckled, fresh tears springing to his eyes. He didn’t know what kind.

'Now, Mr fire/crow-whatever you are, if we're done here, I'm going to sleep and try to dream of happier times,' he waved his hand, 'Try to keep your flickering down.'

The fire grumbled, 'My name is Matthew…'

'Ok.' Hob sleepily shrugged. With that, he closed his eyes, and dreamed of nothing. Of course. Thank you, fates.

Thank you for reading, hope u enjoyed

Check out @tringstarruuu blog

Dreamling as Howl’s moving castle AU

[cerseiwondered]

Number 33 plssss

I think I received this prompt over a month ago, and I’m SORRY.

So, this story is set on the same universe as this one, only six months before. So it’s like a prequel. And it follows the same women football rivalry vibes.

Prompt: “An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.”

-

“Smile!”

Sansa smiled for what it felt like the thousandth time, carefully holding her trophy so it would be visible on the picture in a way that it didn’t seem like she was trying to make it visible.

“Nice. Congrats, girls!”, the photographer said, before raising his camera again and going after Sarella Sand, who had won one of the midfielder positions of the Team of the Season.

Sansa turned to her teammates, Wylla and Brienne. The three of them had been chosen as a part of the CONWEBOL -  Westeros and Essos Football Confederation -  2019 Team of the Season, making their club, Stone Hedge United, the one with the biggest number of players on the squad.

Which was pretty cool, especially because the Athletic Club of Hill Horn had been the winner of the Women’s Conquers League, the world’s greatest club competition. Yet, on the TOTS, Sansa had been chosen as the best right-back, Wylla as the best striker, and Brienne as the best goalkeeper.

“Oh, look at her,” Wylla shook her head slightly, green hair catching the light with the movement, as she focused somewhere behind Sansa.

And the redhead spun around solely to see the grinning face of Margaery Tyrell.

Margaery, who was wearing a glorious blue dress, just a bit tight on the torso and loosely falling on the floor, with her entire arms bare and an unbelievable plunging neckline. She smiled to a camera, holding her Team of the Season left-winger trophy with one hand and her Couronne d’Or, the golden crown awarded to the Best Player of the Season, with the other.

“Notice how she’s holding the crown a bit higher than the squad trophy,” Wylla noted, and Sansa chuckled.

“Who can blame her? It’s the greatest honor a player can be given,” Brienne argued.

“Yeah,” Sansa sighed, taking in the shine of the enormous piece of jewelry in Margaery’s hand.

They were all at the CONWEBOL The Best Awards, the annual event that took place every October, in King’s Landing. The Couronne d’Or was the most coveted trophy, and that year Margaery had won it for the third time, more than any active player.

Which irritated her, because Margaery defended Raventree’s City, Stone Hedge’s biggest rival, yes - but also because it just meant a whole new year of Margaery’s poorly concealed arrogant attitude and superior little smirk, and those annoyed Sansa more than anything else.

Especially when that smile was directed at Sansa herself; and Margaery really enjoyed smiling like that at Sansa when they met before matches. And talk to her, always with the same ironic gaze and that smirk that made Sansa feel like she was being furtively laughed at.

Sansa just couldn’t quite understand why Margaery liked to provoke her so much. Yes, they played for rival clubs, but it wasn’t like Sansa was Margaery’s biggest opponent when it came to awards; they didn’t play in the same position, and Wylla was Stone Hedge’s main woman, therefore the one who could challenge Margaery when it came to the Couronne d’Or.

“Look, there is Coach Mormont!”, Wylla exclaimed, driving Sansa’s eyes away from the other woman. “Let’s go talk to her.”

They did, and Sansa quickly forgot all about conceited brunettes and overestimated individual awards as the party went on. It was always one of Sansa’s favorite events of the year; meeting all of her current and former teammates and coaches, getting a chance to talk to players from other clubs that she usually just got to interact with on the field; seeing all those women she would normally see on dirty uniforms wearing those spectacular gowns.

And there were cameras everywhere, and the food was amazing, and the champagne… The champagne was one of a kind, and when Sansa drank one glass a little bit too fast she decided it was perhaps time for her to go to the restroom and take a deep breath.

But she was just the tiniest bit tipsy, hardly enough to let her display her displeasure when she opened the restroom’s door and found Margaery, leaning against the counter and redoing her makeup.

Before facing Sansa with the largest smile, “Hey! I was waiting for an opportunity to talk to you.”

“Why?”

Margaery’s smile turned into the smirk Sansa loathed so much, “To tell you my crown was not the most shining thing in the party tonight.”

Now Sansa did roll her eyes, even as she felt a blush creeping up her neck. She was wearing a tight, long-sleeved silver gown that stopped mid-thigh. Her neckline was not nearly as impressive as Margaery’s, though.

“Thank you. You look nice as well,” she answered through an almost uninterested tone.

Margaery gave a small smile as she lowered her eyes, and for a fraction of a moment, Sansa felt bad for giving her a perhaps indifferent response - before reminding herself that that was Margaery Tyrell, her club rival and someone she and all of her teammates had learned to dislike very much.

Until, “Congrats on your awards tonight.”

Margaery said it so naturally, as she put some lipstick on.

Sansa narrowed her eyes. “I only won one award.”

“Oh, right,” Margaery pressed her lips together. Her lipstick was matte colored, and it looked nice.

“Perhaps when you said awards, plural,” Sansa, better yet, the champagne started, “You were thinking about the multiple awards my team won. You know, the club with the most players on the squad of the season.”

If she knew that would result in Margaery smirking all over again, perhaps Sansa wouldn’t have said it.

“And I was very happy for all of you,” Margaery lied. “I’m so happy your club managed that when it still had the chance.”

Again, the words left her mouth like they were the most ordinary thing to say.

But they weren’t.

“What do you mean?”

Margaery shrugged, “Well, you know. Now that the VAR, the video assistant referee,” she explained it as if there was any chance Sansa wouldn’t know what VAR meant, “Will be officially used in all of our competitions next season… Forget I said anything.”

She averted her gaze back to the mirror, but Sansa pulled her by the arm, and she stared back at the redhead with wide and, Gods dammit, amused eyes.

“Are you possibly implying that my club is benefited by the refereeing?”, Sansa laughed.

“It’s not me, darling,” Margaery shook her head with a falsely innocent look on her face. “It’s the statistics. If it weren’t for refereeing mistakes, your club would’ve finished the league with nine fewer points.”

“And how many points would your club have lost if it weren’t for your diving? You are the biggest diver in the league.”

“I’m the most hunted player in the league, you mean.”

“Too bad I cannot say the same about last chances of winning anything,” Sansa shot to her. “You’ve probably already won the next Couronne d’Or too. Considering you no longer have to do anything win it.”

Margaery’s eyes now widened with her not expecting those words, and Sansa liked it.

“Considering you got it this year without winning the national or the Conquers league, consequently, not winning anything important.”

Margaery blinked. “I literally scored fifty-one goals this season.”

“A true champion,” Sansa scooted closer, feeling the scent of Margaery’s luxurious perfume, almost closing her eyes with it, “Takes their clubs to the top. They don’t just break goal records against farmer clubs and call it a day.”

Deep down, Sansa knew she was wrong; Margaery was the best, most skillful and creative player in the world, and she deserved the recognition she got. Still, the look on her face at that moment was priceless and Sansa would not let it go.

“Eleanor Mooton,” Athletic Club of Hill Horn’s right-winger, “Should’ve won your trophy. You know that full well.”

Margaery twitched her jaw, and her voice was controlled, “Are you saying all of this because you are aware that you will never win a Couronne d’Or while I play and you hate the thought of it?”

Sansa gave a smirk of her own. “I’m a defender. I will never see the face of a Couronne d’Or, I’ve always known that.”

That was no surprise; the only players who were considered Best Players of the Season were forwards or midfielders.

“You can see the face of it,” Margaery’s voice was husky and Sansa’s ears perked without her perceiving why. “You can see the face of three of them,”

She stepped forward and Gods, they were close and Sansa hadn’t realized it.

“In my shelf. In my bedroom.”

And then it was Sansa’s turn to blink. “What?”

Margaery closed the remaining distance, her hands grabbing Sansa’s jaw and yanking her in.

Their lips touched, and Sansa was shocked. Margaery’s fingers slid from Sansa’s face to her hair, nails stroking her scalp, and Sansa shivered with the feeling of it.

Her mouth tasted so good, like champagne and something sweet, and she sucked on Sansa’s lips, leading Sansa to shut her eyes. Her tongue tried and invaded Sansa’s mouth, stroking Sansa’s own tongue, outlining her lips, and she pulled the redhead’s bottom lip between her teeth and-

It was over.

Before Sansa could do anything, touch Margaery, kiss her back properly, it was all over.

All there was left was that stupid smirk and Margaery’s flushed cheeks.

They jumped away from one another when the door was opened.

“Hey, we were looking for the two of you,” it was Irri, a Dothraki woman who played for the Dragonstone Football Club and who had won one of the centre-back spots of the Team of the Season. “They are taking pictures of the squad.”

Margaery only smiled before leaving the restroom, cleaning her lips with a paper towel and indicating Sansa to do the same, and the redhead followed her weakly.

She felt almost numb when she positioned herself among the other players. And every single nerve of her body responded when Margaery, who was right next to her, whispered in her ear,

“My real bedroom, with my trophies, is a bit far away. But my hotel suite isn’t.”

Sansa gulped.

And the cameraman shouted, “Smile!”

[spidernerdsblog]

I forgot that you existed: Chapter Two

A/N: Chapter two is here. Tensed situation arising between our ex lovers. Hope you like it. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

Summary : It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realise you are still not done with each other.

Warnings: none

Mini playlist: Endgame by Taylor Swift

Music playing from car stereo

I don't wanna touch you (I don't wanna be)

Just another ex-love (You don't wanna see)

I don't wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you)

Like the other girls do

I don't wanna hurt you (I just wanna be)

Drinkin' on a beach with (You all over me)

I know what they all say

But I ain't tryna play

I wanna be your endgame

I wanna be your first string

I wanna be your A Team

I wanna be your endgame, endgame

 You leaned on Tom's shoulder as he drove the car. Your hot breath falling on his neck as you start kissing his sweet spot behind his ears as he lets out a soft moan. Your hand intertwining with his free hand resting on his thigh. "Stop it love" Tom mumbled softly.

"Tom" you said softly "Tom!" This time you called his name loudly and Tom suddenly broke out of his trance and was brought to reality it wasn't you but it was his beloved fiancee Eleanor . She straightened herself to look at him with concerned eyes "is anything wrong Tommy?"

 "No love everything is fine" he reassured her

 His attention went to the song playing. He frowned and said "just this song irks me, not a fan actually of such kind of songs."

 "Seriously Tom, how can you not be a fan of Y/N, her songs are too good." El started gushing over you.

 "Yeah I know you are a huge fan of hers but I prefer old school hip hop." Lies.

He was your biggest fan since childhood though he doesn't admit it now but he is very proud of you. Seeing you grow into such a big star makes him admire you more. After so many years he still adores you and your songs. He was nervous to meet you and be in close proximity to you for so many days. Yes he still had feelings for you and that is why your songs wreaked havoc in his mind making him feel your presence even if you were far away from his life. He sometimes feels guilty that he isn't being true to El as soon she is going to be his wife and you still reside in his heart. He can never love anyone as he did to you. El was a very humble, sweet, understanding and smart person whom he got to know through one of his friends. Soon both of them found they had a lot in common, small chats turned into dates and then to a full fledged relationship for 2 years. Dom and Nikki approved their relationship and wanted their son to settle down and finally see him happy. Tom wasn't much excited about the wedding so all the planning he left on El.

 It was around noon when you three finally arrived at the beach house. You were filled with nostalgia as you had lots of fond memories connected with this place. There were a total of  5 bedrooms in the house. 2 were reserved for the couples, one for Tom and another for Harrison's other two friends Ed and Chloe, the others had to share. You liked the sea facing rooms and there were only two on the first floor. You immediately ran upstairs. You suddenly stopped in front of the first room and glanced at the empty room which once belonged to only you.

 Sounds of laughter "Tom stop.. Please oh I can't breathe" you said giggling as Tom tickled you even more. You both laid on the bed and laughed. You took out your phone to take a selfie to capture this moment. Tom kissed your cheek as you clicked the photo. You threw the phone on the bed and climbed on top of him straddling him around the waist as you planted soft kisses on his forehead, his cheeks and lips. You sat back to admire him " I love you so much Tommy" . He rolled you over to be on top of you

" Love you too princess." As he connected his lips onto yours.

 You brushed aside your thoughts as you went to the adjacent room and placed your luggage on the floor. Zendaya came with her luggage afterwards. It was a nice room with a queen sized bed and thankfully an attached bathroom.

 "You don't snore right?" Zendaya chuckled

 "Don't know about snoring but I do kick in my sleep." You laughed.

 "Okay let's freshen up first then we can start unpacking our things." Z said

 "Yeah you go first I need to make a call to my second mom." you chuckled.

You had three missed calls from Alex which left you wondering what was the matter. You put your airpods on and called him. You came out of the room as you started strolling in the corridor.

 "Seriously you don't trust me do you? I have barely spent a day here and you have already called me three times."

 "It was important the company wants you to do a concert at the beach carnival there."

"What! Dude I'm on a vacation and they expect me to do a concert."

 "Yeah it will be nice for the promotion, kind of a tour actually and I think it's good only for you to keep you distracted from, you know what I mean"

 "I don't know I need time to think"

 "There is nothing to think the concert is on the last day of your stay so you will get to enjoy your vacation as well as do a little interaction with your fans good for your rep."

 "Still I need to think Alex . I have to go for rehearsals then I need to know the whole schedule of the event. It's a lot of work."

 "I'll handle those things and get you in touch with the event manager, don't worry."

 You were walking backwards through the corridor as you were talking, you suddenly bumped into a solid sturdy figure, you lost your balance letting out a light shriek as you thought you were about to fall, instead you felt two strong arms catch hold of you, one hand on your back and one wrapped around your waist. You fluttered opened your eyes and your eyes were met with those familiar hazel brown eyes and loose brown curls falling over his face. Tom looked at you with concerned eyes; he himself couldn't stop admiring you. This is the closest he has come to you in the past few years. Your familiar lavender scent was intoxicating for him, he also noticed that your hair is longer than before which made you look more beautiful. You two were so lost in the moment that the whole world hazed out for you. Both felt a warm feeling inside.

But you were brought to reality as Alex started talking.

 "Y/N are you there? what happened?"

 You pulled away from Tom's hold as you stood straight and stuttered

"yea…Yeah I'm fine can I…Can I talk to you later? I'll think and tell you okay"

 "Okay honey bye take care love you"

 "Yeah bye love you too Alex"

 As you turned back to Tom you both blurted out "I'm sorry"

 "No no it was totally my fault I wasn't looking where I was going" you said eagerly.

 "It's okay" Tom said

 You purse your lips and smiled as you were about to turn to go to your room he spoke again

 "By the way Hi! meeting you after a long time."

 You sheepishly looked at him "yeah Hi"

"So how have you been?"

 You were a little taken aback by his warm gesture because he had almost stopped talking to you after the whole breakup "I'm fine, how are you?"

 "I'm fine too" . Tom was about to say something but you were interrupted by a loud shriek

 "Oh My God!!! I can't believe this Y/N Y/L/N" excitement in her voice. "I'm such a huge fan of yours." She pulled you in a tight hug you didn't get the time to process what was happening as you looked wide eyed first to Tom and then to the girl.

 "Oh sorry Hi I'm Eleanor you can call me El I'm Tom's fiance nice to meet you." Your eyes immediately went to the big shining rock adorning her ring finger. A tinge of jealousy creeping inside you.

 "Hey! nice to meet to you too"

 She turned towards Tom and asked "you guys know her ? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Tom fumbled at his words "umm.. Yeah we have been together since childhood." He looked at you as he continued speaking "then she left and we lost touch" the last line was obviously directed to you.

 "Uh ah correction it was you who lost contact because I was always in touch with the boys. By the way where are they? Can't wait to meet them."

 "They will be here in any second I guess" El said

"I can't believe you know each other since childhood, he always says that he doesn't like your songs"

 "Oh does he?" you looked at him quirking your eyebrow

 "No I didn't say that I don't like her songs I just said it's not my type"

 "Yeah yeah I know you're an old grandpa you prefer old school stuff." you said sarcastically

 "You are coming to our wedding right?" El asked

 You looked at Tom "umm I don't think I'm invited besides I may not have time to attend it. When is it by the way?"

 "Next year in March"

 "Great!! Wish you both a happy married life."

 "Uh ah.. I'm not accepting your bland wishes. You are invited to our wedding and you have to sing at our reception."

 "I would love to honey maybe I'll compose something specially for you guys but I don't think your husband will like that as he hates my songs" you looked at Tom

"Oh leave Tom anyways he has given me all the responsibility of planning the wedding so you are coming and that's final."

 "Okay dear as you wish" you placed a hand on her cheek and smiled.

 " Let's take a selfie. I really want to capture this moment," El insisted. You stood in the middle one hand on Tom's shoulder and the other on El's. You all smiled as she clicked the picture.

 Suddenly there was a lot of noise of people laughing and shouting and you immediately ran down the stairs. There stood Harry, Sam, Paddy, Tuwaine in the middle of the living room. As they saw you they ran towards you and circled around you for a giant hug.

 "Hey!! Y/N missed you so much so happy to see you again"

 "Me too guys"

 "We are going to have lots of fun this time gonna do everything we used to do when we were kids." Paddy said beaming with joy.

 You smiled and you all hugged again. Your eyes went up the stairs to find Tom staring at you. You looked away as you started chatting with them. Jacob, Ed and Chloe also came in later.

………………….

Zendaya and Harrison were sitting on the couch as you kept pacing the room

 "Seriously Y/N it isn't a big deal. It was just an accident stop stressing out about it."

 "It is serious for me Z . The first day on my trip I fell into my ex's arms and had a moment don't know about him but it was definitely a moment for me. And then there is his fiance who is such a sweet and humble person who doesn't have any clue of what relation I share with her husband.Why did I give into your plan God only knows uggh!!!" You sat between them on the couch holding your head. 

 Harrison wrapped his hands around your shoulders and tried to comfort you.

 "I know it's a bit weird for you to be around El due to your past with him but please for my sake try to tolerate just for 10 days."

 "You have vodka right?" you asked

 "Uh yeah why?" Haz looked at you confused

 "I'm exclusively reserving it for me because I'm gonna need it for the next 10 days if I have to stay here." You smirked

 "Tom, are we there yet can I open my eyes?"

"Patience love patience" Tom said, covering your eyes as he led you towards the beach.

It was your 16th birthday and your families had decided to celebrate on the beach house. Tom had told you that he has a surprise planned for you and you were growing impatient to know what it is. You both finally reached the spot Tom removed his hand from your eyes and you slowly opened your eyes as you saw the sea in front of you, waves thrashing on the shore. You looked around to see that he had decorated candles around you in the shape of a heart.

 "Seriously this is your surprise?" you asked him confused.

 "No love, the best part is yet to come."

He kneeled on his right leg as he took out a box from his pocket. He opened it to reveal a sparkling ring. He took it in his hand. He took your left hand and slid it in your ring finger and said

"Y/N Y/L/N will you be my girlfriend forever?

I liked you since childhood but didn't have the courage to say because I thought you were just a passing crush and you are my best friend and didn't want to ruin our friendship. But now I know that I feel happy when you are around, I like to spend time with you, that I love you. You don't have to say yes but I really wanted to say this to you.

 Your eyes were filled with tears, you bent down and kissed him to stop him from talking anymore .Tom gets a little shocked at your sudden act but then he kisses you back. You pull back after sometime as you cup his face with your hands.

"I liked you too Tommy and yes I will be your girlfriend for lifetime.

You looked at the ring to admire it.

"I know this isn't a real diamond because I can't afford a real one right now" Tom said scratching his head

"Your love is worth more than a thousand diamonds." you said as you kissed him again

 You were standing at the porch leaning on a pillar as you sipped into your cola can. You looked at the ring on your finger that Tom gave you. Out of habit you used to wear it everyday but now it's time to let go of it you thought.

 "So you finally had the courage to come here." Tom said grinning.

 What?! You frowned

 You previously thought maybe he's over it and now you two can be on good terms but you were wrong as here he is in front of you again being all cocky.

 "I mean after all these years you finally came here"

 "Firstly, this is my best friend's 30th birthday so couldn't afford to miss it. Secondly stop prioritizing yourself Tom, not everybody's lives revolve around you, not mine, at least" you scoffed

 "Yeah because your life's current priority is Alex right?"

 Was he jealous after he heard you talking to Alex you thought in your mind.

"What? Seriously Tom" you smiled and shook your head. He is my manager and he's like an elder brother, a mentor to me. Why even am I clarifying to you? You don't owe me anything so just leave if you don't have anything else to say."

 "I just came to say that stay away from El. She is my fiance."

 "Yeah I know she is your fiance you posted it on Instagram dufus. I even congratulated you and I had expected a thank you from your side but never mind. "

 It was three months ago you were at your LA residence enjoying an off day. You were scrolling through your Instagram. When you saw the post with the caption she said yes❤️💍. Even after your breakup you guys followed each other to avoid any kind of gossip by the tabloids. You both were very private person so you never went official with your relationship but there were rumours of you two being together which eventually died down. For the first few minutes you didn't know how to react to the whole thing. The life you once imagined for yourselves he is living it but you are no more in it. Your eyes welled up but you overcame your emotions and felt happy that at least one of you is finally going to be happy in life. You liked the picture and commented congratulations🎊❤️❤️❤️.

  "And I also know that she doesn't know about me. Why didn't you tell her about me? Scared of the feelings you still have for me huh?" You smirked

 "Just shut up Y/N. I hate you and that's never gonna change. And you are not gonna tell her anything okay!"

 "But I love you Tommy." You grinned

 Tom scoffed, rolling his eyes and frustrated he started to walk away.

 You called him back "Oi!! Don't worry I'm not gonna tell her anything but I'll still advise you to go and tell her. It will be better and less awkward if she gets to know it from you rather than from anyone else. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, don't break it."

 "Look who is talking about trust and relationships. It's our matter, we can handle it, don't need your advice."

 "Okay cool" you gave a thumbs up

 You really felt exhausted after the whole conversation putting up a no care attitude was really hard as you were totally bothered by the whole ordeal.

………………

 After you and Zendaya finished unpacking your stuff she was exhausted and so decided to get some rest. You on the other hand decided to go for a stroll near the cliff. It was one of your favorite places to go. That place gave you peace and tranquility. You slid your sling bag around your shoulder and put your lyrics notebook inside it. You used to always carry that everywhere whenever you get an idea you note it down in it. You walked along the seashore feeling the cool sea breeze all over your body. You reached the cliff and took a deep breath standing on the edge. You looked over the sea the sun was setting with a golden and orange hue spread across the horizon. It was enchanting. Suddenly some ideas started coming in your head so you took out your notebook and started scribbling on it.

 "What'cha writing?" You were startled by the question you looked back to see Tom climbing the cliff towards you

 "What came to push me down the cliff?" You asked sarcastically

 He rolled his eyes "no seriously what are you writing?"

 "It's none of your business "

 "Come on you can tell me about your new song"

 "I can but first tell me what happens in Avengers 5?"

 Tom shook his head and laughed

 "What?! I'm serious I really can't wait for the movie. Are you bringing back Tony Stark or not. I still cry watching endgame."

"Marvel still doesn't trust me so can't say" he laughed as he took a deep breath and said "I really like this place".

 "Yeah me too"

 "I'm really happy that you came Y/N everyone missed you for the past years"

"And what about you?"

 "Yeah I also did a little." You both smiled.

 You are still confused at what Tom is trying to do. A few moments ago he was being all so mean and rude to you that you were almost about to have a breakdown and now he is here telling you that he missed you. What game are you trying to play with my mind Holland you thought.

You were looking away as Tom stole a glance of you. He really felt guilty, he wanted to apologize for his behavior but showing his anger towards you he thought was the only way to stay far from you. He had a lot of things to say to you but didn't know how to say he missed the time when he could say you everything without any hesitation but now things seemed very complicated for both of you.

 "By the way you look beautiful with long hair. It suits you. "

 You felt a warmth rising in your cheeks as you blushed. You tucked in the stray hair strands flying in the sea breeze behind your ear.

"Umm thanks you look handsome too as always." You smiled awkwardly

 Both looked at each other for a moment then you broke the silence "umm okay then I think I should get going see you around"

 "Yeah sure" Tom nodded

 You turned to go as Tom called you "Y/N! I'm really happy for you. I really am."

 You turned and smiled softly "the feeling is mutual Holland".

Taglists: to be added send a message or ask I'll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

@sophs-library​ @sleepybesson​ @spideyparkerstark​ @itstaskeen​ @milli86​

 @astridcommings

[ladybug-writes-spn]

Guardian Angel

Sam turns out to be reader’s guardian angel.

Warnings: Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, Starvation, Nightmares, AnGst

Word Count: 2820

Characters: Sam, Dean, Reader

I’ve been locked in this attic for what feels like forever. This chain around my ankle connecting me to the radiator is really starting to hurt and chafe. The days seem to run together. It’s cold up here and it stinks. The smell of mold and dust makes me want to retch. The room is only big enough for me, this radiator, and a dilapidated wooden chair.

Sometimes, when I have the strength, I crawl to the tiny window to peer out. The house is a ways from the street. The people on the street look small from way up here, but I scream at them for help anyway. I scream until my lungs burn and I lose my voice. Nobody seems to hear me. Why can't they hear me? That’s when the tears start. I cry until I’m completely exhausted. I curl up into a ball on the cold wooden floor and wait for sleep to finally creep up on me. That’s when I heard it.

“Sam? You sure we have the right house?”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Of course, Dean. This isn’t my first salt and burn.” 

The two hunters continue their sweep of the old mansion. It was once a beautiful home, now covered in cobwebs and graffiti. Sam and Dean came here to, Winchester, VA, on a hunch. A local 12-year-old kid, Dylan, was found dead in his bed after sneaking into the house with his buddies the night before. The coroner couldn’t find a cause of death. 

 According to Sam’s research, a textile tycoon, Julian Van Buren, built the mansion in 1880 for his wife, Emily. And according to every piece of information Sam came across, the man was a terrible human being. His wife died mysteriously five years after moving into the house. 

“I don’t know, Sam. Shouldn’t he be jumping from around the corner and slamming me or you against a wall by now?” Dean asked, shining his flashlight around one of the many bedrooms. 

Sam furrowed his brow, his flashlight illuminating the graffiti on the wall of the hallway. “Maybe we’re looking for the wife?”

Another fifteen minutes of careful searching turns up nothing. “Alright. Let’s just go burn everyone’s bones and be done, huh?” Dean finally declared, done with the whole ordeal already. “Yea. The family cemetery is out back under the oak.” Sam closed the drawer he was rifling through. He noticed something under the desk he hadn’t before. It was an old, yellowed photo of Julian and a girl that looked no older than 21. 

“Huh. Wonder who this could be?” he mumbled to himself. Slipping it into his jacket pocket, he followed Dean to the Impala to grab the salt and lighter fluid.

They still couldn’t hear me. I was for sure the tall one would hear me. He found the photo I placed at his foot though. The one of Uncle and I. He took it with him. Maybe he’ll hear me yet. 

Sam found himself on the ground. He was on a wooden floor of a house that looked oddly like the old mansion he and Dean were just investigating. He checked himself and found no injuries. Nothing bleeding or broken. “Where the hell am I?” he mumbled. He tried to stand, finding his legs not wanting to cooperate. Sitting back down, he waited for his vision to clear. 

He heard muffled voices down the hall from where he was. One sounded like a man and the other a young girl. 

“What did I say, child? You do not sass me, girl! And in front of my guests!” the male voice boomed. “I’m sorry, Uncle!” the young girl squeaked out through tears. Then Sam heard a thud as if a punch was thrown and someone falling to the floor. 

Slowing inching toward the doorway of the bedroom, he saw a large man looming over a girl. Looking closer, he realized it was the girl from the photo he had found. Sam gasped as the girl was staring straight at him. The man didn’t seem to notice Sam there as he turned to hunt through a desk drawer. 

Sam recognized him as Julian Van Buren. The man produced a thick leather strap from the drawer. “How many times do I need to teach you this lesson?” He paused, shooting daggers at the girl. “Now. Turn around and be still or you get twenty more lashes, girl.”

Sam felt nauseous. He wanted to leap into the room and knock the bastard’s head off of his shoulders but his limbs felt like jelly. He stood there and watched as the poor girl was whipped across her back until she bled. She turned her head, looking at Sam through watery eyes. 

“Help me. Please,” she mouthed to Sam. “Stop your noise! You did this to yourself!” The man lashed the girl with an, especially hard smack. Her scream rang in Sam’s ears and he bolted awake in his bed at the crappy motel room he was sharing with his brother. 

He was sweating profusely and tears were running down his cheeks. Trying to calm his panicked breathing, he looked around the room. Dean was still snoring in the next bed. The red neon sign from outside lighting his features. 

Staring blankly at the peeling wallpaper, his mind raced. Julian didn’t have any kids. Who was this girl? And why was she there with him? What happened to her? There were only three graves in that family plot. Julian, his wife, and Julian’s only sibling, a brother. It was like she was trying to reach out to him through a dream. 

Sam stood, grabbing his jacket off of the chair next to his bed. He took the photo out of his pocket, taking a closer look. By the light of his laptop, he studied it. The poor girl looked so sad. She wasn’t smiling. Of course, back then nobody smiled in pictures, but she looked so haunted. It felt like she was staring right into his soul. 

“Who are you?” he whispered.

Dean grunted. “Who are you talking to?

“Myself. Go back to sleep,” Sam scoffed. Dean cracked an eye open. “Alright then. Keep your secrets.”

“Dude. Have you been on a meme binge again?” Sam asked, half-smirking. His answer was a snore. 

He wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. Closing his laptop, he headed to hop into the shower. 

Sam sat on his laptop searching for anything and everything, trying to figure out who this girl was. The sun was starting to rise, the oranges and pinks creeping through the blinds next to the table. Standing, he stretched the kinks out of his back and slid his jacket over his shoulders. “Mornin, Sammy,” Dean mumbled into his pillow. “Hey, I was about to head out for some breakfast. Coffee and burritos?”

“Uh-huh.” Sam huffed a laugh. 

Walking through the door of the motel room, Sam noticed Dean sat at the table with the picture in his hand. “Where’d you find this?”

“I found it yesterday at that old house. It was on the floor,” he explained, not too sure he should share the dream he had last night. He knows how Dean acted last time he was having crazy dreams. “I think we should look into it. I can’t seem to figure out who she is.” Dean just stared at his brother. “....why?”

Sam hesitated. “Because...I had a dream about her. Like she was crying out for help.”

“Ok…” Dean started before he was cut off by the ringing of Sam’s phone. Saved by the bell. “Hello. Agent Crosby.” Dean watched as Sam’s face fell. “Thank you for calling.” 

“Well, what was that?” Dean asked. “The sheriff. She says one of the other kids that were with Dylan was just admitted to the hospital. Something’s definitely going on.”

“Yea definitely. I’ll go interview the kid’s parents.”

“I’ll go to the library and try to dig up something about this girl or the property that maybe we missed.”

Sam had been at the library for hours. He read through every  book and newspaper article he could find. She had to be Julian’s brother’s daughter, that much he figured out. She called him Uncle in his dream and Julian only had one sibling. According to some articles he found, his brother, James, had a wandering eye. Maybe Mystery Girl’s mom was one of his mistresses. He sighed, rubbing his eyes. This was gonna be harder than he thought.

The librarian walked past noticing what was on his computer screen. “Excuse me?” she whispered. He turned around although he almost thought he had imagined it. 

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but notice what you’re researching. Are you trying to find out about James Van Buren’s illegitimate child?” Sam’s eyes widened. “Yea I think so,” he spluttered. The librarian reached over, typing in a few words into the search bar. 

“Eleanor McNamara’s obituary. The girl’s mother. They tried to keep it secret but nothing ever stays that way,” she added, clicking enter. 

“Thank you so much.” She nodded, walking back to her desk. Sam read the obituary. Eleanor, the girl’s mother, died three days after giving birth. She emigrated from Ireland to New York, moving to Virginia within a few months. It named the ladies’ parents, Mary and Gerald McNamara, also from Ireland. He also looked up their obituaries. Nothing. 

Sam took a deep breath. Why is this girl so hard to find? His phone rang just then. He slid his finger across the screen, answering it. “Dean?”

“Hey man. Ya know the kid in the hospital?”

“Yea?”

“Well, he’s catatonic now. All he’ll say is ‘Y/N’ over and over again. Mean anything to you?” Dean asked.

“Maybe?” 

“Meet me back at the hotel,” Dean said before hanging up.

Back at the hotel, Sam shows Dean the info he found out at the library. “How much do you wanna bet this Y/N chick is your girlfriend?” Dean retorted, grinning at Sam’s bitchface. “Dude. She’s not my girlfriend. And yes I think you’re right.” Sam paused.

“But why would she hurt those kids?”

“I don’t know man. You know how ghosts are. The longer the person is a ghost, the crazier they become.”

Sam sat back in his chair, pondering. “She didn’t seem crazy to me when she was in my dream though. It seemed like she was crying out for help.” Silence fell over the brothers. “Well, either way, we have a problem.” Dean finally said. “Yea. Where are the bones?” Sam finished his brother’s thought. “Maybe we’re looking for an object she would’ve been attached to.” Sam’s brain was going over a million possibilities. He thought back over his dream, still vivid in his mind. He felt the desperation and fear she must have felt. Then, he noticed a necklace she was wearing. “She was wearing a necklace. It looked like a locket.” Sam picked up the photo of the girl and her uncle. “She’s wearing it in this picture. Maybe it would happen to be in a drawer or jewelry box somewhere in the house.” 

“Alright, well, Ima head out a grab some grub. Guess we’re going back to the house tonight.” Dean announced, taking his keys from his pocket, walking out the door.

Sam sat at the small table with the photo in hand. Something wasn’t sitting right with him. Something’s missing and he couldn’t put his finger on it. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. He was exhausted from the rude awakening the night before. Lying down on the bed, he told himself he’d take 20 minutes to refresh for tonight. Not even realizing he’d fallen asleep, he found himself back at that mansion but it seemed like brand new. It was actually a beautiful house, masking the evil that lived inside its walls. 

There was nobody to be found. It was deadly silent, except for the loud ticking of the grandfather clock in the hallway. He felt a pull toward the cellar. Making his way through the kitchen to a red-painted wooden door. The door let out a harsh groan when Sam opened it. In front of him was a long, steep stairway leading into a dark abyss. Sam searched his pocket, hoping to find the small flashlight he usually kept in it. Amazingly, it was there. Flipping it on, he could make out many shelves full of jars filled with various foods. Stepping onto the cool, dirt floor, he realized he was barefoot. 

…and wearing a filthy dress that was probably white at one time. The girl must be showing him something through her eyes. Looking down at his/her arms he noticed they were littered with bruises of varying colors. He felt a pain in his stomach. Starvation. Her uncle must have starved her aside from beating her. 

Sam felt anger building up in his gut. He wished the bastard was still alive so he could do the same to him as he did to her. He walked toward a far wall where the boards of the wall looked different than the rest of the cellar.

Y/N appeared before him, staring Sam in the eyes. Her wide, desperate, Y/E/C eyes bore into his. She spoke but he couldn’t hear her with his ears. He could hear her in his mind. Y/N. She pointed to the wall. He glanced at the wall and back to her. She suddenly appeared closer to him, almost touching him. Y/N. She banged her fist on the wall. 

A booming growl came from the top of the stairs. Sam felt her utter fear, helplessness and a twinge of anger. He turned to her but she was gone. He looked back at the stairs seeing nothing but red eyes. “Sam,” it growled. “Sam. Sam!” The red eyes got louder and closer. 

He jerked awake in his bed with Dean standing over him. “Having another dream about your girlfriend?” Dean chuckled and pointed to the brown paper bags on the table. “I got the grub.”

“Yea ok. Umm… Lemme. I’ll be right out.” Sam sputtered, dashing to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. 

Five minutes later, he walked back out. “Well? What was it about this time?” Dean questioned. “I think I know why she’s still there,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink. “I think her bones are in the cellar. She showed me exactly where in the dream.” 

“Good. We can put her to rest so we can get some rest.”

They ate their food in silence. He felt so sorry for this poor girl. Her mother died right after she was born. He definitely could relate to that. Her father rejected her. Just to be sent to live with her abusive asshole of an uncle. He wondered if she ever had anything good happen to her that she could hold onto. Sam was tortured by the devil himself but he was also a grown man when it happened. He had Dean and Bobby for support as well. But she was just a young girl. Did she even have anybody she could call an ally or even friend?

A few hours later, they found themselves at the old mansion once again. Both of them heading straight for the cellar, Dean with a sledgehammer and Sam with an ax. They immediately started tearing down the wall. It didn’t take long to find the cramped hole she was tucked away in. Her bones were huddled in the corner like she was cowering. Dean carefully wrapped her up in a sheet and started to carry her out back to the pyre they had built. 

Sam wasn’t far behind Dean when he saw something fall out of the sheet to clink on the stair. He bent down to pick it up. It was her locket she had been wearing. Dean continued up the stairs not noticing that Sam had stopped following. Opening the locket, it was a tiny picture of a baby on one side and a tiny picture of a beautiful lady with long, wavy hair on the other. He figures this must be her mother.

Looking back into the cellar he saw Y/N standing there with the lady from the picture in the locket. They were both smiling. He just smiled back, dropped the locket into his pocket and walked on. 

“Thank fuck. I’m so ready to get back to the bunker,” Dean declared hopping into the driver’s seat of his Baby. “We are taking a breather for a while for some much needed R&R.” Dean started up the car and sped off into the night. Sam sat in the passenger seat thinking about all that transpired. He fiddled with the locket he still had in his pocket.

“I don’t blame you. I could use a break too.”

[bisexualpirateheart]

                                      Maxanor - Reconciliation 

               (Written for Black Sails Rare Pair Appreciation Week)  

Max sends back the fruit, the pressed lavender, the silk, all the trinkets Eleanor thinks she can buy her forgiveness with. She doesn't want to be bought, doesn’t want to give her forgiveness for something brought in on a ship. She wanted to leave with Eleanor, she wanted to run away together, she wanted to be free.

She can still have one of those things at least.

But now that she has started to rebuild something for herself, here is Eleanor, still trying to woo her back.

Part of Max wants to be wooed. She can’t deny that. There is some bit of her that’s flattered that Eleanor would do this. There is also the part of her that won't let herself forget the past. Even if she still loves Eleanor. That’s the hardest part. She will always love Eleanor.

It takes time for her to understand that the choices Eleanor has made weren't always what Eleanor wants. That the things Eleanor wants, aren't always what her heart desires, and that the heart like all things, can be torn between two impossible decisions. That Eleanor is a pirate in every true sense of the word, she wants respect, she wants to run her business without men trying to halt her every move, and she wants her freedom.

If only her idea of freedom and Max’s had been the same.

                                                ~*~

The next time Eleanor looks her way across the street Max gives her a slight nod. It would not be an encouragement to a less determined woman, but Eleanor Guthrie is not such a woman.

She doesn't send gifts this time, Eleanor comes herself.

When the girl tells Max that Ms Guthrie is waiting to see her, Max hesitates. This is a road she has taken before, a road that she had not diverged from easily. She has missed Eleanor, it's true, but she's not sure it's wise to let her too close again. She's not sure her heart can take it.

But she lets the girl send Eleanor up. She remains at the desk, ostensibly writing a letter, but the last line or so have been merely ink on paper. The words don’t make sense.

"I wasn't sure you'd want to see me." Eleanor leans against the closed door, gazing at her.

Of course I want to see you, why wouldn't I want to see you, these are all words that could exist upon Max's tongue. What brings you to my door now? Instead she sets down her pen and waits a moment.

"I wasn't sure either." She says at last. There. She can admit that much.

"I've missed you." 

Max regards her, looking at her intently. "I believe that is true." 

"I didn't want to." Eleanor says, "I wanted to be able to move past this."

"You are not alone in that wish." Max murmurs. If she could tear out the part of her heart that still clings to Eleanor, she would have long ago. Buried it beneath a mountain of stone that would crush it, that would have been preferable too. Instead she’s left with this inconsolable longing within her, the loneliness of desire for a woman who betrayed her, and love, still a wealth of love that wracks her heart with the strength of it. She shouldn’t be allowed to love like this. Not now, not after everything that has happened between them.

To her surprise her words bring a slight smile to Eleanor's mouth. The sight of that alone sends a sharp mingled point of desire and loss through Max's stomach. 

"I suspected that might be the case." She was still looking at Max with those hollow eyes. "I wondered if we weren't alone in another wish as well."

"And what wish might that be?" Max's words are light, but her heart is beating like a bird trapped within a cage, frantic to escape. 

"To kiss you again." Eleanor remains where she is, waiting. 

And Max knows that for her to cross the room to Eleanor, she will have to speak. To tell Eleanor that all is well and forgiven. But she doesn't know if that's true or not. She doesn't know if she can forgive this woman she has loved beyond everything.

"Take your hair down." She has dreamed of Eleanor since they were apart and in her dreams Eleanor's hair is always down. She is the woman she lets herself be in Max’s bed, wild and free and bold.

Slowly Eleanor reaches for the pins, letting it fall to her shoulders. 

Just as slowly Max crosses the room to her, her limbs steady beneath her, in spite of the trembling of her heart. She stands there in front of Eleanor, simply looking at her. She sees a woman she has known fully, and yet still does not know. The heart beating inside of Eleanor's chest is a stranger to her. 

"Anne told me what you did. On the beach that night."

“It wasn’t…” Eleanor wets her lips. "She did the deed."

"But you helped." It was thanks to the two of them, that she stood where she was now. She could not forget that.

"I wanted...I couldn't..." Eleanor's voice breaks for a half moment and then she catches herself. "I tried to understand why you had gone with him...but all I wanted to do was know that you were safe."

"And now that I am safe?" Max tilts her head, still looking at her. "What do you want now?"

"To kiss you." Eleanor breathes. “More than anything, that’s what I want, Max.”

Eleanor's breath catches as Max raises a hand to touch her cheek.   

"What are you waiting for?"

"I need to know if you still want me to kiss you." Eleanor says simply. "I need to know that."

Softly Max brushes her knuckles along the curve of Eleanor's jaw. "I still want you to kiss me."

Eleanor drew in a sharp breath. “Oh Max.”

She leans in, clasping Max’s face. The first brush of her lips is tentative for a heartbeat, and then Eleanor sighs and her teeth catches Max’s lip, and the rush of desire returns in full force.

Her hands reach for Eleanor’s skirts as they continue kissing their way across the room. There are no questions, no reassurances, only hands upon clothes, shedding them frenziedly across the floor.

Max has dreamed of this but even her dreams aren’t as good this. Eleanor standing nude before her, the sunlight streaming over her golden hair. In Max’s dreams Eleanor is always slightly out of reach.

Max stops and stares at her.

“Max?’

“I….” Max licks her lips. “I tried not to love you.” The confession slips from her before she can catch it.

There’s pain in Eleanor’s eyes, but then she looks at Max, her eyes widening a little. “Does that mean you still love me?”

Max laughs. “Yes. I suppose it does.”

Eleanor surges towards her, kissing her fully. “I haven’t stopped loving you.” She kisses Max’s breasts and then reaches for her bodice, kissing Max’s breasts. “I have always loved you.” She takes one of Max’s nipples in her mouth, kissing it reverently.

She falls to her knees, kissing Max’s curls there. “I will always love you.”

The first press of her mouth to Max’s cunt makes Max gasp. Eleanor’s hands on her thighs, drawing her closer. Her tongue descends upon Max with a hunger that defines reason. Max is panting, her hands in Eleanor’s hair as Eleanor slips her tongue between her folds.

Eleanor brings to the brink again and again, and whenever Max thinks she’s finally going to come, Eleanor draws off and kisses her thighs and belly and breasts. It isn’t until Max shudders “Eleanor, please,” that Eleanor presses her tongue back to her cunt and fucks her as Max loves her to do.

She draws Eleanor over to the bed and pushes her down. Now she has Eleanor where she wants her. Max has missed this, missed Eleanor. She’s never been intimate with another person as she was with Eleanor. Eleanor knows her. Eleanor loved her. And now, she looks up at Max with desire in her eyes, her cheeks flushed with desire, her hair tangled, breasts heaving.

Is it possible she’s speaking the truth or has she just missed this? Missed being in Max’s bed? Would that be enough to cause that look in her eyes?

She straddles Eleanor, cupping her breasts. She doesn’t want to think about anyone else in the world right now. She only wants Eleanor. In this moment, it’s enough.

She rides Eleanor to a slow frantic climax, watching her face the whole time, listening to Eleanor murmur her name to the air as she comes.

                  ��                            ~*~

Max looks over at Eleanor sleeping beside her. Eleanor looks so peaceful. Slowly Max reaches out and touches her cheek. Eleanor stirs faintly, turning her face towards Max in her sleep.

Max sits up and reaches for her robe. She pours herself a cup of wine and walks to her balcony. Afternoon has given way to evening. There are lanterns and lamps lit all over Nassau town. Max takes a sip of wine and leans against the post. She loves this time of night, the smell of the sea rolling in, the way the windows shine in the dark.

She looks back over her shoulder at Eleanor. If she wants, she can pretend it’s the same as it always was. But she doesn’t want that. The only way to move forward is to do exactly that. So perhaps it is not a return to the same road. Perhaps it is a new path altogether. Max wants that. She wants to forge that path with Eleanor.

She drinks a toast to that, to the night, before going back to the bed. She lays down beside her and takes her hand. Eleanor immediately curls inward towards her, hand clasping Max’s in return.

“I will always love you too.” She whispers.

                                                  ~*~

It takes her a little while to tell Eleanor that she’s forgiven her. It takes a while for her heart to realize it’s true. But that day comes all the same. And when Eleanor cups her face in her hands and kisses her, Max knows they are on the same path at last together.

[royallyanxious]

Horizons - Chapter 9

Masterpost

word count: 4759

AO3 LINK

Previous Chapter

Roman was crossing the streets, head ducked down, gaze fixed at the ground. He didn’t want to look into faces of people that despised his person now but wanted to be like him a few years ago.

Cards had turned for him and he accepted that but he would never accept the eyes filled with disrespect and mockery that followed him sometimes on the street.

He knew that according to the general etiquette, there was no reason for him to be in this part of the city alone but he was determined to find out about the prices of paints and canvas. He spent two whole weeks re-reading the old fairy tales and he really wanted to paint an illustration for at least one of them. Or two paintings! One for Patton, to remind him of the importance of art and dreams and one maybe for Virgil… As a thankful gift for letting him read the book, of course! Technically it was his volume after all. Though Roman still wasn’t sure if Virgil knew that Patton lent it to him.

Afraid of getting robbed he kept his hands in the pockets of his light coat, clenching the coins, so that they wouldn’t make a sound. He knew that the higher class would never touch him or even willingly come close to him but deeper into the dark alleys… who knew who he might meet there.

The street wasn’t very busy but Roman still congratulated himself a great orientation in the field. He easily recreated the path Virgil and him took few weeks earlier to the stationer’s. He hoped that the shop assistant would recognize the unusual customer and wouldn’t kick him out of the store the minute he crosses the entrance.

Joan was right when they told Roman that he’s an artist by heart and soul. Once he gave himself to the beauty of art it grew in him, never leaving his heart alone. Even after Roman’s plans for the future crumbled almost two years ago, he still remained an artist deep inside. He learnt how to see subtle beauty in the smallest things, like rays of sun on the floor of his room or a little grey bird singing on the branch of a tree. These things brought joy and colour into Roman’s world. He wanted nothing more than to allow his fingers create again.

Until he was kicked out of the pub where he used to play on the piano, he managed to pour his artistic soul into music. He missed this time. It was like a tiny surrogate of the dreams he once had. Sometimes Roman looked at his hands, imagining that he had the piano under his fingers. He pretended to gently stroke its imaginative keys. He could almost hear the melody he was playing in his heart.

Flowing on the edge between daydream and reality, Roman walked around the corner not expecting someone to walk from the other side. They bumped into each other and Roman felt as if cold blood filled his veins. He didn’t want to open his eyes, struggling not to fall on the ground. Roman could already hear the loud, offended gasps coming from the person he ran at. He opened his eyes, his head filled with worst possible scenarios.

The face of the woman in front of his was beat red which didn’t look good considering the fact that she was wearing a dress in the colour of kissed by sun peach. Her arm was being held by another woman, a little bit older with beautiful heban complexion and eyes big like almonds. They both looked as if they saw a ghost. Very rude ghost. But what scared Roman the most was the fact that these elegant women looked strangely familiar.

“I’m going to die.” flew through Roman’s head as he looked around himself. He knew that he had no chance to escape. Though the street wasn’t very crowded, a few people had already gathered around them whispering among themselves. He had no chance to run away. They would capture him immediately.

“Boy!” squeaked Peach-Lady, making Roman look back at her with fear “Oi! Listen to me” she yelled and before Roman noticed what was going on he received a hard slap right in face. The hit was so sharp that if felt as though his skin was ripped open. It burnt as hell but he didn’t know if it wasn’t the embarrassment running through his body. He grabbed his cheek, caressing it gently. His mouth filled with blood. The humiliation was eating him alive.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled, trying his best to hide the shakiness of his voice. Green eyes of the stranger were shining with anger, while his own tried to blink away the tears.

The apology seemed only to fire up the Peach and her companion. As the both started laughing with the coldest laugh, Roman had ever heard.

“He’s sorry!” cheered the Peach and the people that gathered around them started clapping as though it was some kind of a joke. Roman’s face was beet red and he had no idea what to do. He was suffocating.

“How dare you look Elleanor right into her eyes? Don’t you know your place?” squealed the companion of Peach, whose real name was apparently Elleanor. The moment Roman heard the name, he understood why these ladies seemed so familiar. He met them before. On one of his father’s domestic banquets.

Terror that came with that realization made him open his eyes even wider. He was screwed. If they recognized him…. He could as well start digging his own grave. Or just throw himself right into the ocean.The fear in his eyes was however read in a completely different way and few seconds after Roman received another slap into his other cheek. He stumbled. Someone grabbed his arms from behind. The grip was strong and there was no way to wiggle out of it.

“Are you alone, boy?” asked a deep, masculine voice from behind. The breath of the man smelt like awfully sweet milk and Roman resisted the urge to vomit. His stomach was all knotted. He wanted to say something, anything but the words couldn’t come through his throat. Roman tried to imagine that he was still one of them, that they look at him like at their own man but the strong grip from behind and scratching his chest shirt, flushed away this vision.

“So arrogant he was crossing the street and now he can’t utter a word! Ha!” laughed Eleanor. Apparently the first anger passed and now her thin lips were spread in a smile. Roman didn’t like this smile, at all.

“Now that I look at him…” hummed Elleanor’s friend “he reminds me of someone… Don’t you think, Elle?”

Roman hopelessly wiggled, trying to set himself free. His breath was shallow as he was trying to draw as much air as he could. They couldn’t recognize him. He still didn’t know who to trust. He didn’t know who did this thing to his parents. He didn’t know if that person was still trying to find him- the heir of del Ray roughless trading machine. At this moment, for the first time in his life, Roman wished he was dead.

“He does indeed!” agreed Elleanor, moving her face a little bit closer. Roman could smell the scent of rosy perfumes. The woman was about to grab his chin, to examine him better, when someone repeated her name from the distance few time. Low, masculine, calm voice. Roman closed his eyes, his cheeks started burning even more.

“Elleanor, why-” Virgil stopped in the middle of the sentence, as he entered the circle “Roman?!”

It took a lot of strength for Roman to open his eyes again. Virgil was standing right between Elleanor and her companion. Shameful tears filled Roman’s eyes. How could he stand this amount of humiliation, he didn’t know.

“You know this man, Virge?” asked Elleanor, pointing at Roman with reproach.

Beautiful, dark eyes were wide opened, tracing between Roman and Elleanor. The man who held Roman, immediately let go off his arms.

“Yes.” said Virgil weakly, he coughed “Yes, I do. He’s my-”

“I’m his new assistant.” finished up Roman.

“Yes, I sent him-”

“Early this morning to run some errands, that’s why I was alone.” stated Roman,  and though his cheeks were still burning and he couldn’t be sure if Virgil was willing to confirm his version, he felt safer. The only thing that hurt him, so deeply, was that this situation even took place. Trying to hide is hesitation, Roman dusted off his shirt.

“Right.” nodded Virgil, walking closer to Roman, their shadows, melded into one “Did you check the thing I asked you for?” He arched his eyebrow and Roman sighed with relief. He was safe.

“Yes, I did… young master.” the last words rolled through his through as if it was covered with thousands of bumps, literally burning his tongue in the process. But he knew that he had to put on a perfect act. He was looking Virgil right into eyes and noted that the other man slightly winced when he hear the title.

“Great. I would love to discuss the issue with you in my office.” declared Virgil smoothly. “Elleanor, Linna, if you excuse us I shall take my leave. Business calls. We will finish our lovely conversation another time.” he bowed a little bit.

To Roman’s surprised Elleanor took off her lacy glove and reached out her hand. Roman knew the etique and he also knew what that meant. These two were close if she took off her glove. He watched Virgil lean and gallantly kiss her hand. With malice he noticed that his lips barely touched her skin but he also knew that it didn’t mean anything. Virgil could be just straight-up gentleman. He quickly moved away from the Elleanor, anxiously glancing at Roman who with grace bowed deeply to the thinning crowd around them. He made sure to follow Virgil’s every step as they were walking down the street. Elleanor’s gaze was mostly likely fixed at his back. Only few streets away from the main alley, he dared to make up the distance between Virgil at him. He glanced at the man beside him. His face was perfectly stick but the small row between his furrowing brows, suggested that he was deeply in thoughts.

“I can go alone from here.” Roman offered. He understood that Virgil wanted to make sure that the act was authentic but he was pretty sure that no one followed them. Virgil looked at him surprised.

“What do you mean, Roman? We’re going to my house, like I said.” he shook his head. His dark, smooth hair looked so elegant in the shade of afternoon’s sun, making Roman ponder how was that it was almost always sunny here while in the lower part of the city, it was usually grey and rainy.

“Virgil, you don’t have to pretend. It’s fine.” smiled Roman. Only that made him realize that slap which he received, must have cut his lips. He tasted metal with his tongue. Once again he blushed, he doubt he would ever forget this humiliation. Virgil stopped.

“If you think I’m gonna let you go through the city with this cut, you must be crazy. The infection only waits to attack your pretty face!” Roman blushed upon hearing the compliment “You know how polluted the air is! Maybe not here but…”

“Sure, I know.” Roman crossed arms on his chest “But downtown the conditions are much worse.” He still thought that Virgil was overreacting but the thought of spending a little bit more time with him alone was awfully tempting.

“It’s settled then! We’re going!” he clapped his hands as though he was a child and had just received a caramel candy.

They walked for a moment in complete silence. Roman was still wondering if it was really the appropriate thing to do. He knew that what he was doing was selfish, the cut couldn’t be that serious. He knew that and Virgil most likely knew that too. So he had to have some other purpose to invite Roman. Well, it hardly could be called an invitation but for a moment he allowed himself to think that way. As though they were equal. In his soul they were and that’s what he was the most ashamed of.

Streets were almost perfectly quiet in this part of the city. There were hardly any stores here but to Roman’s utter surprise, Virgil didn’t lead them to the mansion district. Instead they walked into long street filled with quite tall, 3 or 4 floored, elegant tenements. Though he knew that living in these was also expensive he was a little bit surprised as he had always imagined Virgil to live in a big, old mansion. He realized that he was the first out of the company from the workshop whom Virgil invited to his more private space. This thought made him raise his head a little bit higher. Not only he was invited into Virgil’s house but he also was about to walk into there as an equal.

“Won’t your parents be surprised that you brought me to your house?” asked Roman carefully. Just because Virgil treated him this way, didn’t mean that he would be accepted by his parents.

Virgil snorted.

“I live alone.” he said simply before falling into silence too. Apparently after few steps he realized how cold it sounded because he added: “I moved out a few years ago. My father is very difficult man.”

Roman nodded. Now, he could understand that.

“How about your mother?”

“She died soon after I was born. Apparently I resemble her a lot. Not only in the terms of appearance.” hummed Virgil.

“I’m sorry.” Roman bit his lips.

“Don’t be. I don’t remember her.” summed up Virgil “Oh, look. We’re here.” He stopped in front of a tenement built with dark, grey stone. Small garden in front was divided from the street with black, iron fence. The whole building appeared a little bit intimidating but surprisingly lovely. Or maybe it was just the fact that when Roman was staring at it, Virgil managed to walk over the door and was now waving at Roman. “Come inside, don’t be afraid.”

Smiling softly, Roman entered the building. The hall wasn’t big, since it was still a tenement but even this room was telling a lot about owner’s personal taste. The walls were covered with purple wallpaper decorated with natural patterns. On the opposite side of the corridor there were two doors but Virgil once again managed to surprise Roman by going upstairs.

“Follow me.” he said simply. Roman didn’t even realize when the other man took off his jacket, leaving him only in neat white shirt. Walking behind him, Roman could see the shoulder blades moving smoothly under the material. There was something intimate in this image. Intimate and beautiful to the point that Roman sighed with disappointment when they reached the floor. Like always Virgil let him go through the door first. He must have led him to the personal bungalow. Big, dark desk was standing in the central part of the room, under the window. Most of the walls were covered with bookshelves.

“Sit somewhere, I will be right back.” murmured Virgil, and disappeared behind the doors.

Roman smiled widely. Not only he was alone in Virgil’s private rooms but also it was his first time being surrounded with this amount of books in months. He ignored soft, crimson sofa standing in the corner and walked over the first bookshelf. His fingers touched the first book standing in the row. It was a history of art. Familiar sensation ran through his body. Out of all books he chose this one. It couldn’t be an accident. As much as he wanted to take it out, snuggle in the corner and read, he knew that he couldn’t do it. There were boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. His hand lingered few more seconds on the books, before he moved a step away.

Sighing Roman walked around once more, only then noticing the painting hanging above the fireplace. He walked closer. A woman wearing traditional sari was looking at him from the painting. The shape of her face, eyes and lips matched Virgil’s features, along with characteristic coffee-like skin colour. She was truly beautiful, another thing that Virgil and her had in common.

“My mother was quite a beauty, wasn’t she?” asked Virgil quietly sneaking into the room, like a cat. Roman jumped on his spot, gripping his shirt with one hand.

“Don’t sneak behind me like that.” he breathed out heavily “I almost had a heart attack!”

Snickering, Virgil walked over the sofa in the corner. Only then Roman noticed a tray with water, some rub and few smaller bandages. He once more looked at the painting in front of him. Yes, the resemblance between Virgil and his mother was burning his eyes.

“Indeed, she was exquisitely beautiful.” Roman declared, tearing his gaze away “Just like her son.” he murmured to himself, quietly. Virgil seemed to didn’t notice the last remark, as he was opening the small, lacquered box, filled with pieces of white, fluffy cotton wool.

“Come,” said Virgil, petting gently place next to himself “We’re gonna clean you up.” he smiled softly, making Roman’s heart skip the beat.

His eyes widened. Oh, no. There was no way he could sit peacefully, without staring when Virgil would touch his face. Even if it was with a piece of cotton. Roman’s gaze wandered around the room and stopped on a small mirror, lying on the desk. He quickly grabbed the object, turning around to Virgil with determination in his eyes.

“I would prefer doing it by myself.” Roma said bluntly, pointing at the mirror, he held in the left hand. “I have my pride. I’m not a damsel in distress.” he added.

Virgil quirked his eyebrow, which was almost immediately followed with a small smirk forming in the corners of his lips. Roman more than ever was proud of his decision. If Virgil smiled like that when their faces were be only few inches apart, Roman would have died for sure.

“As you wish.” shrugged Virgil finally, making more space on the couch.

Roman, as gracefully as he could, fell on the velvet sofa, dipping in the furniture. Silky pillows were touching his back and for a split of a second Roman felt as though he was still 17, living in a huge mansion with his parents. His life used to be so easy back then… He sighed and raised the mirror. As soon as he saw his reflection, he winced. He looked absolutely terrible. Those of his curls which managed to escape from the lose braid, were sadly hanging around his face. With terror, Roman realized that he had been sulking on his appearance for months now. Of course, he had a mirror but there was no need to care about his looks as much as he used to. Maybe it was this beautiful little mirror, maybe the luxurious room or maybe man next to him, but suddenly Roman felt as though the weight that had been gathering for the past few years, fell at him at once. He shook his head, trying to hide how much his hand trembled.

“Maybe I could at least hold the mirror?” asked Virgil worryingly.

Without a word Roman handed him the object. He didn’t trust his vocal cords. Instead he decided to focus on taking care of the cut on his lower lip. The fresh blood was still appearing in the crack. Carefully Roman took one of the cotton balls and drenched it in water. Virgil held the mirror on the level of his face and only his dark hair and eyes were visible for Roman. He decided on focus all of his attention on cleaning up the cut.

It didn’t take much time and after few minutes Roman was done. He neatly placed the utensils on the silver tray, lying on the coffee table nearby. He put his hand on his knees and straightened up, not sure what to do next. All the time, ever since Virgil raised the mirror, Roman could feel Virgil’s attentive eyes on himself. He shivered a little bit, realizing that it was probably Virgil’s reaction to his misconduct.

“I should probably go home now.” said Roman finally. His voice was awfully loud in this empty room. He knew that being a kind host Virgil wouldn’t kick him out of his house by himself. According to the general social rules, the guest had to announce the leaving themselves. Roman was about to get up when Virgil stopped him with a gesture of his hand.

“Stay a little bit longer.” he asked quietly. Though their hands didn’t touch even the slightest, Roman felt as if the warmth was already in his palm.

“Why?” he realized his gaze. The atmosphere between them was completely different than in the workshop.

Virgil blinked, surprised with the question.

“I… Um… Actually…” he scratched the back of his neck “Oh! Actually I wanted to ask you for something!” he got up from the sofa, walking to the desk. Roman watched him with quite an interest. The atmosphere shifted again, it was much lighter than earlier but seemed to be sewed with nervousness. “Here.” said Virgil and handed Roman and piece of paper and beautiful, heavy pen.

“Emmm…” Roman hummed a little bit lost, but took the items “And what am I supposed to do with that?”

“What do you mean?” frowned Virgil “I assume that you were looking for something in the shopping district? I don’t want you to run into troubles again, so it would be much easier if you listed things you need and I would buy them for you!” he smiled, softening Roman’s heart.

“Perhaps… perhaps you’re right.” he hummed in reply and started writing down the things, in as detailed way as he could.

“Of course, I am.” Virgil grunted quietly and Roman giggled. That was the Virgil he had gotten used to. A little bit grumpy and sarcastic but with a heart as clear as a tear. “You have nice handwriting.” Virgil pointed out after few minutes.

“Oh, really? I guess the lessons paid off then…” replied Roman absently, trying to think of another thing that he needed to buy.

“Lessons?” Virgil repeated surprised.

The pen slipped out of Roman’s hand. Oh.

“Y-yes! My mother really paid attention to my education!” laughed Roman, trying to smooth the situation “I remember the days when she used to sit with me and made me re-write my own name until she was satisfied with the effect!” that wasn’t entirely a lie which made Roman feel a little bit better. His mother really wanted his handwriting to be as elegant as possible.

“Ah, I see…” nodded Virgil with understanding. “Anyway it is still very admirable of her. She sounds like a wonderful mother!”

“She was really kind, indeed.” agreed Roman, smiling sadly. “To bad she passed away so quickly…”

“My condolences.” bowed Virgil lightly but Roman saw that the gesture was genuine. That was the first time someone, other than Arthur, felt sorrow upon hearing that his mother was dead.

“Thank you.” Roman bit his lips. He wanted to continue the conversation but in the same time doors, probably front ones, opened with a loud bang.

“Virgil?!? Where are you, son?” low voice echoed across the whole building and Virgil’s eyes filled with terror. He glanced at the doors and than at Roman sitting on the couch.

“Stay here.” he whispered leaning to Roman. For a short moment they were so close that Roman would feel Virgil’s breath in his hair. Seconds later he disappeared behind the door, leaving it slightly opened.

Roman could hear the man running downstairs, greeting the guest, presumably father. He couldn’t hear the conversation quite well but after few minutes of muffled voices, the stairs lightly crackled again, suggesting that the party was moving upstairs.. Cold blood flood Roman. Was it all just a joke? A mystification to make him feel even more miserable? Roman shook his head. No, Virgil wouldn’t do that. Still, cautiously Roman decided to stand behind the door, just in case, the guest wanted to go inside the room.

“No, no! I haven’t finished that report yet, father!” exclaimed Virgil with a faint cry of panic in his voice. Roman’s breath hitched and he decided to put a hand on his mouth. Precautions never hurt.

“What do you mean, boy?” shouted Virgil’s father. His voice was tough and it was obvious that he was disappointed with his son. “Didn’t I tell you that if you wouldn’t prove the practical aspect of this project, I would not spend a single dollar more on this?”

“Yes, you did mention that…” admitted Virgil, his voice was quiet and trembling.

Thoughts were racing through Roman’s head and he was trying to connect the dots. Was Virgil’s father speaking about Patton? About Logan’s project?

“And yet you still…” groaned the man.

“I ran out of money a few weeks ago, alright?” snapped Virgil suddenly “You gave so little, it was impossible to support Logan with so little money! I had to invest my own cash into it just because you’re a stubborn buffoon!”

So it was about Patton after all. Roman thought about all these past few weeks, he had spent in the workshop. Virgil was paying for everything all by himself, no one to support him. They were basically living on this young, utterly beautiful male and he didn’t even let them know who they should be thankful to. Roman was considering even stepping out of the room to defend Virgil, when the next words, made him turn into an ice cube.

“I’m very disappointed with you, Virgil.” sighed Virgil’s father “You had one job and you messed it up. After I took over the del Rey’s mechanic empire, I thought that I would made you a perfect leader. First you couldn’t find that Rey’s bastard! Who knows if he won’t come back for his legacy one day! And now sponsoring this… this… toy project! I’m deeply disappointed Virgil. Not to mention the marriage…”

The stairs crackled again, letting the whole house know that Coenraad van Dijk was about to leave the household. Very offended.

“Dad…” cried Virgil weakly “Wait… You don’t understand…”

“Shush,son! I need time to rethink some things.” Coenraad hissed “Goodbye, Virgil.” he said loudly. The entrance door shut coldly, shattering the atmosphere in the house.

For a few minutes it was completely quiet. Roman blinked a couple times. So it was Virgil’s family who teared him off his previous life? Killed his parents? Planned on killing him? Roman’s heart was racing. With trembling hand he took the piece of paper Virgil handed him earlier and scribed few more words on it. He felt as though he was suffocating in this house he had to leave. He had to leave now!

Abruptly opening the door, Roman stormed out of the corridor. Virgil was standing next to the staircase, staring blankly into the void. He looked painfully empty but at this exact moment it didn’t matter to Roman and his hot, boiling blood.

“I have to go.” he growled in Virgil’s direction and only then the man looked at Roman. His eyes were hollow. “Sorry.” added Roman and few seconds again he was gone.

Virgil watched the door close for the second time this day. He didn’t know how to feel. It was stupid to tell his father about the investments. He knew it. So why did he do that? Was it because he knew that Roman was standing behind the door? Was it his unique cry for help? Plea for reassurance? The tears started rolling down Virgil’s face.

“What did I do wrong?” he sobbed quietly before moving to his office.

On the couch lied the paper with the list of products Roman needed. Virgil would ignore it but his sharp eyes noticed a fresh ink in the corner of the paper. He raised it to his eyes, quickly running through the eyes. The cry of pain that rolled out of his through could hardly be called human.

“Here’s what my mother made me rewrite until I achieved perfection:

Roman del Rey. Roman del Rey. Roman del Rey.”

Next chapter

If you liked this fic and appreciate 6 months of my hard work you can consider supporting me on KO-FI.

[roxashighwind]

Cassie’s Fake It ‘til You Make It Playlist

Cassie Lang knows death. She knows it in her father, in herself, in friends and grandparents, on the news, and as an inevitability of the universe. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect her, though she does her best to put on a happy face and try not to think about it too hard. 

A little background: Cassandra Eleanor Lang is the daughter of a superhero. She loves her father and takes his side even at the tender age of six: through her parents’ divorce, as he fights a bad guy in her bedroom, and in the time after when he’s trying his hardest to make amends and be a bigger part of her life. She wants to grow up to be a hero just like him, to protect people and save the world. 

She isn’t there when he dies. It hurts. She moves on, deals with it in her own way, and grows into a young woman even more determined to become a hero than before. 

That... doesn’t go well for her overall. In the beginning, maybe it’s okay, and she makes a name for herself with a group of friends. She fights and protects and takes care of small and big time bad guys. She even manages to get her father back in a strange turn of events: magic, time travel, Infinity Stones are involved. 

After she’s back, Cassie finds it harder to pretend to be normal than back when she was just dealing with her father being gone. She starts seeing a therapist to deal with the disconnect she sometimes feels. Music is brought up as a way to help handle things, to boost her mood and keep her in the moment. 

She’s got a playlist for the rough days when she remembers being dead, not existing, and trying to be a person again after she got brought back. It’s broken into four parts to fit whatever she’s feeling, and she’s got it on every device that can play music.

[My first fill for my second MCU Bingo card! Character: Cassie Lang ; Prompt: Character Death. Below is each playlist (with a link to the playlist on Spotify), broken down into the 4 parts and with relevant lyrics from each song!]

Part One: The Darker Beats

Numb - Linkin Park

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there / Become so tired, so much more aware

Never Too Late - Three Days Grace

No one will ever see / This side reflected / And if there's something wrong / Who would have guessed it? / And I have left alone / Everything that I own / To make you feel like / It's not too late / It's never too late

Dead Hearts - Stars

Oh please tell me what they looked like / Did they seem afraid of you? / They were kids that I once knew

I could say it but you wont believe me / You say you do but you don't deceive me / It's hard to know they're out there / It's hard to know that you still care

Sacrifice - Casey Williams, Jeff Williams (RWBY)

Close your eyes now time for dreams, / Death is never what it seems. / Did the things you thought you should, / All the things they said were good.

You can't have my life, / I'm not your sacrifice. / You can try, but I'm free, / And you won't conquer me.

Weight of Living, Pt. II - Bastille

Under the weight of living / You're under the weight of living / Under the weight of living / You are under the weight of living / The weight of living, the weight of living

i can’t breathe - Bea Miller

Somebody get me a hammer / Wanna break all the clocks and the mirrors / And go back to a time that was different / A time when I / Didn't feel like there was something missing / Now my body and mind are so distant / Don't know how to escape from this prison

How can I / Free my mind?

Cause I can't breathe

How can I live in the moment / When my thoughts never feel like my own and / Don't know how to admit that I'm broken

How can I / Be alright?

Titanium - Chase Holfelder

You shout it out / But I can't hear a word you say / I'm talking loud not saying much / I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet / You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof nothing to lose / Fire away, fire away / Ricochet, you take your aim / Fire away, fire away / You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium

Lying From You - Linkin Park

When I pretend / Everything is what I want it to be / I look exactly like what you had always wanted to see

I remember what they taught to me / Remember condescending talk of who I ought to be / Remember listening to all of that and this again / So I pretended up a person who was fitting in / And now you think this person really is me and I'm / (trying to bend the truth) / But the more I push / The more I'm pulling away

Part Two: Those Melancholy Beats

Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright

Maybe I've been here before / I know this room, I've walked this floor / I used to live alone before I knew you / I've seen your flag on the marble arch / Love is not a victory march / It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah / Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Is There Anybody Here? - The Dear Hunter

I lay my body down / To rest my weary head / I think I left Someone there; / I left myself for dead

Is there anybody here who can tell me where I am / Or at least where I have been? / Because I fear I’m lost / And I cannot be found / Again

Wait for It - Hamilton

Death doesn't discriminate / Between the sinners and the saints / It takes and it takes and it takes / And we keep living anyway / We rise and we fall / And we break / And we make our mistakes / And if there's a reason I'm still alive / When everyone who loves me has died / I'm willing to wait for it (wait for it) / I'm willing to wait for it

How Far I’ll Go - Chase Holfelder

I've been staring at the edge of the water / 'Long as I can remember, never really knowing why / I wish I could be the perfect daughter / But I come back to the water, no matter how hard I try / Every turn I take, every trail I track / Every path I make, every road leads back / To the place I know, where I can not go, where I long to be

Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine

Run fast for your mother run fast for your father / Run for your children for your sisters and brothers / Leave all your love and your longing behind you / Can't carry it with you if you want to survive

Wake Me Up - Avicii

Feeling my way through the darkness / Guided by a beating heart / I can't tell where the journey will end / But I know where to start / They tell me I'm too young to understand / They say I'm caught up in a dream / Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes / Well that's fine by me

So wake me up when it's all over / When I'm wiser and I'm older / All this time I was finding myself / And I didn't know I was lost

Here Comes a Thought - VGR (Steven Universe Cover)

And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch / All these little things seem to matter so much / That they confuse you / That I might lose you

Take a moment, remind yourself / To take a moment and find yourself / Take a moment and ask yourself / If this is how we fall apart / But it's not

Here comes a thought that might alarm me / What someone said and how it harmed me / Something I did that failed to be charming / Things that I said are suddenly swarming

And, oh, I'm losing sight, I'm losing touch / All these little things seem to matter so much / That they confuse me

Let’s Just Live - Casey Williams, Jeff Williams (RWBY)

Let's just live! / Day by day and not be conquered by our sorrows / The past can't hold us down / We must break free / Inside we're torn apart / But time will mend our hearts / Move onward not there yet / So let's just live!

When it feels like there's nothing  / Worth living for / Everything is broken / The light's not there anymore / And the story / Takes an unexpected turn / A friend is suddenly gone / We can cry our lives away / But if they were here they'd say / Go forward you must keep moving on

Go the Distance - Roger Bart (Hercules)

I have often dreamed / Of a far of place / Where a great, warm, welcome / Will be waiting for me

Where the crowds will cheer / When they see my face / And a voice keeps saying / This is where I'm meant to be

I will find my way / I can go the distance / I'll be there someday / If I can be strong

I know every mile / Will be worth my while / I would go most anywhere / To feel like I belong

Glitter & Gold - Barns Courtney

I am flesh and I am bone / Rise up, ting ting, like glitter and gold / I've got fire in my soul / Rise up, ting ting, like glitter / Like glitter and gold / Like glitter

Part Three: The Bops

I’m Good - The Mowgli’s

Trying to figure out who I am / Or who I’m supposed to be / Feel good about where I stand / So I can make the most of me-I’m

I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good / Living life just like I should / Wouldn’t change it if I could / I’m good, I’m good, I’m good

Red Balloon - Charli XCX (Home)

Ah-ooh! / If you got troubles let 'em go / Let 'em soar so high, high into the sky / Just like a red balloon

Ah-ooh! / Don't let your worries get to you / Let 'em float on by, high into the sky / Just like a red balloon

Today, I opened my eyes / And now I'm so happy and free / I've got my friends by my side / And that's all that matters to me / So, come on, get up and join in / 'Cause this is just what you need / Let's do it all day long

Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya

Could wake up / And make up / And play dumb

Oh, I don't know what you've been told / But this gal right here's gonna rule the world / Yeah, that is where I'm gonna be because I wanna be / No, I don't wanna sit still, look pretty

Go Big or Go Home - American Authors

I'm thinking life's too short it's passing by / So if I'm gonna go at all / Go big or go / go big or go home

Fire N Gold - Bea Miller

When you're stuck in a moment / And your spark has been stolen / This is our time to own it / So own it

Baby, we were born with / Fire & gold in our eyes, eyes / With fire & gold in our eyes, eyes / Got lightning in a bottle / Hands on the throttle / Even in the dust we shine / With fire & gold in our eyes

I Won’t Back Down - Tom Petty

Well, I won't back down / No, I won't back down / You can stand me up at the gates of hell / But I won't back down No, I'll stand my ground / Won't be turned around / And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down / Gonna stand my ground / And I won't back down

Some Nights - fun.

This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for? / Why don't we break the rules already?

Well, some nights I wish that this all would end / 'Cause I could use some friends for a change. / And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again / Some nights I always win, I always win...

Life in Color - OneRepublic

I do my best / To find some kind of glow / I'm givin' it some heart and soul, now / From the darkest grays / The sun bursts, clouds break / Yeah, we see that fire / From the streets of Babylon / To the road that we've been on now / The kaleidoscope claims another

Whoa oh oh oh / Well this is life in color (color) / Today feels like no other (other) / And the darkest grays / The sun bursts, clouds break

Back Home - Andy Grammer

And no matter where we go / We always find our way back home

When ties loosen / We're losing touch / And fading away / We'll still be raising our cups / To the same damn things

Sunshine Riptide - Fall Out Boy, Burna Boy

The world tried to burn all the mercy out of me / But you know I wouldn't let it / It tried to teach me the hard way / I can't forget it

What the Hell - Avril Lavigne

All my life I've been good, / But now whoa, I'm thinking what the hell / All I want is to mess around / And I don't really care about / If you love me / If you hate me / You can't save me

Part Four: The Sunshine Beats

Be Ok - Ingrid Michaelson

I just want to be okay, be okay, be okay / I just want to be okay today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today / I just want to feel something today

Be Okay - Oh Honey

Fresh cut grass, one cold beer / Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now / Summer dress, favorite park / Bless your soul, we are here and now, here and now

I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great? / Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling / Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay

Odds Are - Barenaked Ladies

The odds are that we will probably be alright / Odds are we gonna be alright, odds are we gonna be alright tonight / The odds are that we will probably be alright / Odds are we gonna be alright, odds are we gonna be alright for another night

Fight Song - Rachel Platten

This is my fight song / Take back my life song / Prove I'm alright song / My power's turned on / Starting right now I'll be strong / I'll play my fight song / And I don't really care if nobody else believes / 'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Heroes (We Could Be) - Alesso, Tove Lo

Everyday people do / Everyday things but I / Can’t be one of them / I know you hear me now / We are a different kind / We can do anything

We could be heroes

Happy - Pharrell Williams

It might seem crazy what I'm about to say / Sunshine she's here, you can take a break / I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space / With the air, like I don't care, baby, by the way

Brave - Sara Bareilles

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down / By the enemy / Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing / Bow down to the mighty / Don’t run, stop holding your tongue / Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live / Maybe one of these days you can let the light in / Show me how big your brave is

King of Anything - Sara Bareilles

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table / While I look outside / So many things I'd say if only I were able / But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man / We're all entitled to 'em, but I never asked / So let me thank you for your time, / And try not to waste anymore of mine / And get out of here fast

Who cares if you disagree? / You are not me / Who made you king of anything? / So you dare tell me who to be? / Who died and made you king of anything?

Begin Again - Colbie Caillat

Oh this is not the way that it should end / It's the way it should begin / It's the way it should begin, again / No, I never wanna fall apart, / Never wanna break your heart / Never wanna let you break my own / Yes, I know we've said a lot of things / That we probably didn't mean

Live it Up - Colbie Caillat

I don't know why I'm still afraid / It's not like it was yesterday / I'm the one stopping me / From all the I want to be

It's ridiculous / The stars are inconspicuous / I told myself this can't be how I think / It's irrational / It seems so supernatural / I'm happy every after all I've seen

Who Says - Selena Gomez & The Scene

I'm sure you got some things / You'd like to change about yourself / But when it comes to me / I wouldn't want to be anybody else

Who says / Who says you're not perfect / Who says you're not worth it / Who says you're the only one that's hurting

{if you’ve made it this far, thank you! ♥ if you enjoyed this, please consider throwing a coffee my way; if you do, please feel free to ask for a bit of writing or a mini playlist!}