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ri-ahhh · 4 years ago

Note

hi can you write about spending a valentine’s day with gray pls?

valentine’s day smut w/ gray? + more haha sorry couldn’t put them all in

A/N: I’m sorry this is a day late. It was supposed to be 90% smut but somehow it took on a mind of its own and turned into this monster.

warnings: smut, extremely cheesy, way too long

***

It should be a given understanding that Valentine’s Day is the dumbest, most antiquated, overrated holiday that’s ever existed. That had always been your take on it, even as a little kid — the worry of spelling your classmates’ names correctly on cards imprinted with cheesy Scooby Doo and Spongebob puns; the expectation to dress up nice in the hopes you would get asked to be someone’s Valentine in the hallways of middle school; the potential embarrassment of being the only person in class who didn’t get bought one of those stupid roses from a ‘secret admirer’ in high school.

There’s simply too much pressure surrounding the idea of professing your love or even your mere fondness for anyone and everyone in your life. The fear of rejection if you do, and the judgement if you don’t. It had always made you anxious, whether you had someone to share the day with or not.

But this Valentine’s Day, as a young twenty-something, you were actually (secretly) looking forward to it. Conner was your first adult relationship, with the title of ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ and labels and commitment. He’s cute and smart and charming and yours. So, sue you if you were quietly anticipating wearing that SavageXFenty set beneath a brand new dress while you went to dinner after being greeted at the door with roses and a box of chocolates.

And yet here you are, on February 14th, hood of your sweater drawn over your head as you rummage through your freezer with a clear target in your mind. Your eyes are blurry and swollen, but you find the pint of birthday cake Nada Moo with ease, and you slam the freezer door closed a little harder than you really mean to as soon as it’s in your grasp.

You’ve just popped the lid off when your phone buzzes on the kitchen counter where you’ve plopped down to eat your depression snack in a more acceptable place than your bed or the couch.

You see Grayson’s name accompanied by a goofy, up-close picture of him smiling filling the screen, and hesitate. He’s one of your best friends, and clearly done nothing wrong, but you’re not sure you’re capable of handling anyone of the male species right now after...everything.

At the end of the day, though, it’s Grayson. He knows heartbreak almost better than anyone, and you’ve coached him through it on more than one occasion. Maybe he can spew back some of your own advice if it comes to that.

You swipe the bar at the bottom of the screen, and your ceiling suddenly replaces the image of his silly, handsome face. “Sup?”

“Yo. Am I interrupting anything? Sorry, just remembered what day it is.”

You swallow. “Uh no, you’re not.”

“What’s wrong?”

You bite your lip hard, digging your spoon into the softened ice cream. Was it that obvious just from your voice that you had been upset? Or does he just know you that well?

“Nothing.”

“You sound like you’ve been crying.”

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie. Let me see your face.”

There’s a beat of silence, and you concede. “No. I’ve been crying.”

He’s quiet, and you can’t bring yourself to look at his own face in the corner of the screen. You shove the chunk of ice cream past your lips, and after a moment he says with a softer tone, “Crying on Valentine’s Day is never a good sign.”

You’re glad that you’ve gotten so much of your tears out already, because you feel the inevitable prickle behind your eyes that would have been full-blown waterworks a few hours ago. You scoop another bite. “Conner cheated on me — has been, cheating on me. I found out last night.”

Grayson sighs your name, and something about the genuine sympathy in his voice makes you even more emotional. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. What a piece of shit.”

You shrug even though he can’t see, and sniffle past the lump in your throat. “It’s whatever. I’m still in shock more than anything. Hurts like hell, though, still. I let him have it when I saw the texts and he hasn’t tried to call me once. No texts. Nothing.”

He’s silent, but it’s that raging silence you know oh so well from him. It doesn’t happen often, but anyone who knows Grayson Dolan knows that when his volume comes down, he means business. A loud and obnoxious Grayson is a happy one, but a brooding and quiet one means serious business.

“Do you want me to go beat his ass? I’ll do it.”

A smile cracks your scowl before you know it, and you shake your head. “No thanks, Gray. As much as I’d love to see that happen, I like your face the way it is. And not on a mugshot.”

He chuckles a little, and you feel your chest lift some just hearing the familiar depth of it. “Well, do you at least want me to come over later? I totally get if you need to be alone, but I know from experience sometimes what helps the most is having good friends around.”

You’re a little surprised. “You don’t have a date?”

“Nope.”

“No one from the roster hitting you up?”

“I don’t have a roster,” he argues playfully, but you both know that’s a lie, if not at least a stretch of the truth. “And even if I did, you’re more important. Always.”

You sigh and take another bite. His words make your neck tingle and your toes wiggle, but you ignore it; your brain is full of confusion as it is. “That makes one man in my life who thinks so, I guess.”

You finally prop your phone up against the fruit basket sitting in the middle of your bar so he can see you. Grayson takes in your image, which admittedly must look kind of pathetic, and you watch his jaw clench and release in a way that you can’t deny is utterly sexy.

“Is an hour okay? Tell Vanessa to come, too.”

“Benito took her to Tulum for the weekend,” you say, referring to your best friend and her boyfriend. “She did threaten to get on a plane and come home early for me, though.”

Grayson grins crookedly, but his jaw is still tight. “Well, tell her you’re in good hands. See you in an hour?”

You give it one last quick consideration; you already feel this much better just talking to him on the phone. Nothing bad could come from him being in your apartment, and you trust him. “Yeah, that’s fine. But just so you know, I’m already at the stage of eating ice cream at 10:30 AM.”

“Did you forget you’re talking to the emotional ice cream eating champion? No judgement here.”

You finally let out a giggle, your spirits officially lifted. “I’ll see you soon.”

True to his word, Grayson arrives at your door about an hour later, his arms laden with milkshakes from Monty’s, a gift bag decorated all over with sparkly hearts, and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

You’re stunned. The only thing you’d managed to do in the time it took him to get here was take a quick shower in attempts to rid your face of some of the puffiness, throw on some shorts this time with a fresh hoodie, and toss the used tissues scattered around your place into the garbage.

Before you can say anything, he holds out the flowers. “They were out of roses. But I know you like pink.”

You reach out for them slowly, eyes wide, your fingers brushing his when you grasp the plastic wrapping. His cheeks are a similar color to the petals, and it makes both your heart and your lips smile.

“Peonies are my favorite,” you say truthfully. “And yes, especially pink ones. Thank you, Gray.”

“You’re welcome,” he says, sounding relieved.

As he crosses the threshold of your door, he leans down to kiss your cheek, and you can’t help but hum quietly and pull him in for a hug. “That gift better not be for me, either,” you mumble into his chest.

Grayson pulls back, his eyes sparkling, but keeps you close with an arm wrapped loosely around your shoulders. “Oh, this? No, this is for my other best friend I’m trying to cheer up on Valentine’s Day.”

You slap his arm playfully, and lead him into your kitchen, pulling out a vase from the cabinet beneath your sink for the flowers.

The bag has a few gifts in it: a new Comfy (“I remembered you ruined yours when that ketchup bottle exploded all over you the other day”); a huge bag of watermelon sour patch kids (“I know they’re your favorite. Also ice cream gives you brain freeze after the first pint or so, trust me”); and a heart shaped box of your favorite chocolates (“you can eat them or burn them, I wasn’t sure which you’d appreciate more but either is fine with me.”)

You appreciated all of it, more than he would ever understand. All you can do is fling yourself at him weakly, completely overwhelmed. “Fuck you, you’re gonna make me cry all over again.”

Grayson envelops you in those huge, muscular arms, cooing behind that laugh you love so much. “Is that a really backwards way of saying thank you?”

You grunt in affirmation, and with you still wrapped up in his arms, he starts waddling the two of you back the short distance into your living room.

“Here,” he says, coaxing you down into the blanket nest you had created on the couch. “You chill and find a movie. I’ll make popcorn.”

You do, and he does, and the next few hours are spent lounging about in your apartment. Having him here with you is doing wonders from keeping your mind from going down the paths you’d been spiraling towards ever since you saw the messages between Conner and no less than four other girls on Snapchat. You don’t believe in snooping, but finding the first one had been an accident when he received the snap while you had his phone, and your finger happened to press the icon at just the right moment.

In your eyes, though, the image of one pair of tits that weren’t your own was enough justification to see what else you could find.

“I hate to admit it, but I’m kind of relieved,” you told Grayson a while later, Shrek playing on the TV quietly. He’s sitting next to you, far enough apart for there to be couch space between the two of you, but close enough to share the oversized blanket thrown over your laps. “Obviously what he did is so fucking shitty and I’m not justifying it in any way, but I can be honest with myself now and realize I wasn’t in that relationship for the right reasons. There wasn’t anything there emotionally at the end of the day.”

“You still have every right to feel hurt by what he did, though. It’s a huge violation of trust,” Grayson assures, reaching out and squeezing your hand gently.

You squeeze back and grimace at him. “Yeah.” You let out a little mirthless laugh and shake your head, heat flooding your cheeks. “It’s so embarrassing, too. And finding out the day before Valentine’s, no less. Like, I just wanted to look cute, have a nice dinner, have some nice sex, and just... I don’t know. Have an actual Valentine’s day for once. No pressure or anxiety or anything.”

Grayson stares at you in that way he does — so intense and almost intimidating if there wasn’t a genuine warmth behind it. You’re suddenly aware of his thumb brushing the back of your hand slowly. He squeezes your fingers again.

“So, let’s do it, then. You and me.”

You arch a brow at him, smiling at the rosiness in his cheeks when he realizes what he might have implied. “The dinner part, I mean. And the dressing up. Even though I think you look plenty cute right now.”

You roll your eyes, but for the countless time that day, your heart flutters happily. Looking back, you can’t remember the last time Conner had complimented your appearance, let alone after hours of crying and lazing around in sweats, sugar crystals stuck to the corner of your lip.

“That would be great, except there’s no way we’re getting into any restaurant at this point,” you remind him. “Probably no delivery, either.”

“I’ll cook for you,” he counters, throwing the blanket off his legs and standing up with a groan. He stops to stretch, and the way his arms go over his head makes his shirt ride up at the bottom, exposing a chunk of hard muscles and golden skin.

You swallow, eyes trailing up the rest of his torso appreciatively. “I don’t have much.”

He’s already rummaging through your pantry, though, and pulls out a half-full box of pasta, a jar of marinara sauce, and a leftover chunk of sourdough bread. “You got salad stuff?”

You nod, and he opens the fridge to find some lettuce, peppers, and other salad fixings before setting them with the pasta ingredients on the counter. “Go get dressed, look as cute or not cute as you want. I’ll take care of this.”

He’s absolutely unreal. “Gray-”

Grayson holds up his hand. “Ah, no, I’m doing this. You deserve it. Also, I’m hungry. It’s a win-win.”

Your stomach growls as well, and that’s all the convincing you need. While he gets busy in the kitchen, you tidy up the living area some before heading to your room. You feel a little silly, making your third outfit change of the day, but you also like the giddiness in the pit of your belly at the thought of Grayson doing all of this for you. You might as well take advantage of having someone like him in your life. Show him some Valentine’s appreciation of your own.

You forgo the slinky red number you had planned to wear to the restaurant with Conner, and opt instead for a rather unsuspecting blouse-jeans combo, which happen to both respectively frame your tits and ass perfectly.

The lacy, bright pink set in the back of your closet might have made it beneath your clothes, though. The prettiness of it made you feel that much better, even if no one else was going to see it.

Maybe.

Padding back into your kitchen after running a flat iron through your hair and throwing on some concealer, mascara, and lip gloss, you find Grayson draining the pasta into a colander in the sink.

Grayson does a double-take when he sees you standing there admiring the flex of his bicep as he holds the pot. “Hey! You look amazing.”

“If you say so,” you joke, bumping his hip with yours as. You pass him to pull plates and bowls out of the cabinet.

“I do,” he insists quietly.

Arm outstretched mid-reach, you look over at him, locking eyes with his hazel ones. He looks a little surprised by the words that left his mouth, like he meant for them to stay inside his head. There must be some kind of challenge in your gaze, daring him to elaborate.

He busies himself with the pasta again hastily, his voice low. “Conner is a fucking idiot. To do that to you. To let you go. You don’t deserve that. Especially not today.”

Plates in hand, you rest them gently on the counter with your lower lip caught between your teeth, and peer over at this handsome man you’re so proud and lucky to call your best friend. He’s everything you thought Conner was — cute and smart and charming — but so much more — beautiful and good and kind.

And he’s been right here in front of you the whole time.

You reach out and touch his elbow softly. The hairs on his forearm are crisp but soft, and you follow them down to that gleaming watch on his wrist.

“You know,” you start quietly, fingers tracing the links of the band before flipping his hand over to trace the lines of his palm, “you keep talking about what I deserve today. But you deserve all that and more. You deserve someone’s love that matches your own.”

He watches your delicate fingers on his large, calloused palm, then trails his eyes up to yours when he feels their attention on his face. A piece of hair flops into his eyes, and you reach up without thinking or any hesitation to push it away again with a little smile playing on your glossy lips.

You look down and lay your palm flat against his, admiring the difference in size between your hands for a moment before interlocking your fingers with his.

“I love you.”

Your eyes flit up to his in surprise; he beat you to the words.

“In case that wasn’t obvious,” Grayson continues, turning towards you. “And I hope that’s not too much for you to handle, with everything you’ve had hap-”

“I love you too, Gray,” you interrupt, stepping that much closer to him so you’re nearly chest-to-chest with him.

“Yeah?” He sounds almost boyish in his astonishment, and it makes you want to hold him tight and never let go.

“Yeah,” you giggle. “A lot. I’m sorry it took me getting dumped to realize it.”

He shakes his head, his hand resting on your cheek gently. “Can I kiss you?”

You nod once before he’s swiftly ducking down to claim your lips with his. They’re soft and pliable, and you feel their effects from the nerves in your scalp all the way down to your bare toes.

“Grayson,” you breathe, lashes fluttering open as he pulls back just enough to look at you concernedly.

You smile, bigger and brighter than you have all day, and cup his stubbled cheeks with your hands, scratching your nails gently against his jaw. “I just wanted to say your name.”

Grayson grins now, too. He kisses you more insistently now that he’s got the taste of you on his tongue, which he flicks against the underside of your top lip as he breaks the kiss. “Say it again.”

“Make me,” you challenege, voice breathy and excited, eyes closed as you savor his sweet breath against your lips. “In my room.” You feel him tense up a bit, and you open your eyes to meet his questioning gaze, biting back a smile at the inevitable hope also shining there. “I’m sure.”

With that, Grayson hauls you up into his arms, and you wrap your legs around his waist with a squeal as he buries his face into your neck. He starts making the way to your bedroom, cooked food left long forgotten in the kitchen behind you.

“Are you wearing my signature scent?” he asks, inhaling your skin deeply.

“Mmhm,” you hum, threading your fingers through the back of his thick hair. It’s so long again, and you give the dark strands a sharp tug that makes him grunt. “Part one of my gift to you. Since you got so many for me today.”

“Part one, huh?” he says, crossing the threshold of your room. “What’s part two?”

“What I’m wearing underneath this,” you whisper in his ear, giggling loudly when he lies you down on the bed with more of a toss than he might have intended. “If you want it, that is.”

He looks at you like you’ve lost your mind at the mere suggestion that he wouldn’t, and you take that as enough encouragement to tug at the bow tying your forest green silk wrap blouse together.

The folds part open and expose your chest, clad in that pink lace demi-cup bra with the cage detailing over the tops of your breasts. Grayson moans and dips down to nuzzle your cleavage, breathing in the scent of your warm skin. His hands trail up your sides, from your hips to your rib cage, until they settle in the dips of your waist. His touch ignites you, makes your back arch and your hips grind up against his thigh between your legs, just from the sensation of his hands on these new parts of your body.

“Grayson,” you sigh, and he smirks up at you with his chin on your tits when he realizes that’s all it took for you to say his name again.

You grab his cheeks and kiss that smugness away, shifting your legs so they’re wrapped around his waist once again, pushing down on the small of his back to get your centers to meet.

Both of you gasp into each other’s mouths when his erection rubs against your pussy, even through all the layers of clothing still on your bodies. You reach down blindly, still attacking his mouth with yours, and feel around for his belt.

His pants come off, followed by yours, and he sits you up enough to push your blouse off your shoulders rather gently considering the intensity of everything. Once the garment is tossed over his shoulder, you’re down to nothing but that pretty lingerie and he in his boxer briefs.

There’s a moment of pause and clarity for the two of you, staring into one another’s eyes as the reality hits of what you’re about to do. What it means to both of you. Grayson stares down at you, and places a hand over your rapidly thumping heart.

“Beautiful,” he says quietly, dragging his hand up your chest, over your throat, until he’s cupping you’re cheek and stroking your lip with his thumb.

You smile in return, then part your lips with your eyes locked on his, encouraging him silently to slip that digit in your mouth.

Grayson’s eyes darken, and he offers you his pointer finger instead, swallowing hard when you suck and swirl your soft, wet tongue around it.

Suddenly, he’s rolling the two of you over, switching positions so he’s on his back and you straddle him. You smile happily, taking your turn to duck down and attach your lips to the pulse point his neck, grinding down on his cock with a slow, steady rhythm.

“You’re so amazing, Gray,” you tell him, nipping at the lobe of his ear before kissing the underside of his chin. “Can’t believe you’re all mine now.”

“Can’t believe you’re mine,” he growls back, cursing when you trail your kisses down the center of his body, giving each one of those moon’s their own special attention before continuing down.

When you get to the waistband of his underwear, you trail your tongue on the edge of the elastic and watch his abs contract with each shaky breath he takes. One little move of your hands, and you’ll finally get to see what he’s really packing.

But before you can even hook your fingers there to pull down, he’s tugging on your hair. “Fuck, fuck, c’mere. Please.”

You pout, but follow his lead, licking back up his muscular torso until he’s able to drag you to him for a deep, wet kiss.

“Sit on my face,” he demands, shuffling down on the pillow to make more room for you.

That takes you off guard. “But—”

“Do it. Please. I fucking have to taste you.”

Your body must be working ahead of your brain, because before you know it, you’re straddling Grayson’s face, his tongue is sweeping through the wetness in your slit, and his dark eyes are peering up at you from between your thighs.

“Oh... oh!” you cry out when his tongue starts flicking against your clit. He goes back to swiping up all your arousal, then suctions his lips around your clit. He’s using one hand to hold the lace of your thong aside, and the other dips first one finger, then two inside of you. “Oh, fuck, that’s so good...”

Grayson moans, the vibrations erupting around your clit and sending you right to the edge already. You reach back and palm his cock, rock hard in his underwear still, and squeeze as he makes you cum all over his mouth.

He gets his fill of your cum as he groans and keeps up the motion of his fingers, the pressure of his lips, the softness of his tongue as your pussy pulses with each contraction of your orgasm. You wait for him to start letting up, but something about the way he’s working you just makes those waves stay steady rather than die down again. Maybe that’s his intention, because when you drop your head down to look at him with your mouth wet and agape, there’s a sparkling mischief in his eyes has he eats you out like his last meal.

Your hips grind against his face of their own accord, and you delve one hand in his hair while the other supports you on the headboard. You gasp out a quivering, breathless laugh as it all becomes just too much, and you try to lift off his mouth.

Grayson isn’t having it, though. He wraps his arms around your thighs and holds you down, reveling in the moans and whimpers and squeals as he makes you cum again.

“Oh my god — enough, enough, I can’t...” you whine, shoving on his forehead until he releases you and drops his head to the pillow. You could already see it by the crinkles in the corners of his eyes, but he’s smirking wide, chest heaving as you slink your way down his body.

You collapse next to him in a daze, and he rolls on top of you smoothly, peppering little kisses to your cheeks, your jaw, your nose. When you’re back in your right mind, you nudge blindly at his face so his lips find yours. He tastes like your pussy, and you sigh happily as you lift your heavy arms to wrap around his neck while his scoop beneath you, holding you close.

You continue to indulge in each other for a while, in the kisses you hadn’t been allowed to share until now. There’s something exciting about his familiarity and yet also this strange newness that has you absolutely desperate for him in every way.

“This is crazy,” you say when you pull back for air, studying his face hovering right above yours. You push back that stubborn chunk of hair that keeps falling into his eyes with a soft smile. “How did we end up here?”

Grayson turns his head to press his lips to your palm. “I don’t know. Is it too much? Should we stop?”

You shake your head vehemently, and he grins. “No, please. I think I just have to grasp that you’re really... mine now.”

He chuckles. “How do you think I felt watching you with that loser for five months?”

The mention of Conner makes you feel nothing — nothing other than gratitude for Grayson, that is. You slide your hands down his back, over his ribs, across his abs until your hand cups his dick.

His hips thrust into your touch, and you grin up at him demurely as you finally delve your hand past his waistband until you’ve got his length completely in your grasp.

He’s hot and hard and thick, and you start stroking him just to gauge the reaction in his face. He doesn’t disappoint, his jaw gaping open slightly, his breaths picking up, a flush rising to the apples of his cheeks.

Without warning, he reaches down and grasps your wrist. You pout, but he asks hastily. “Are we gonna have sex?”

You smirk. “Hell yeah.”

Grayson grins and shakes his head. “Alright, then you gotta stop.”

“Already?” you tease, letting him sit back and hook his fingers in the tiny string of your thong at your hips.

He gives you a look as he pulls the scrap of lace down your legs, then stands to push down his own underwear. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, and you wish he’d let you blow him some before you hit the main event, but he says, “I’ve wanted you for too long to take any chances about screwing up the first time.”

You melt a little, reaching for him as he climbs back on the bed. “There should be some condoms in the drawer there. Just to be safe after... you know.”

He nods and dips down to kiss you before leaning over to riffle through the top drawer of your nightstand. He comes back with a purple square, which you take from him.

“Gotta practice an activity safely,” you wink, tearing open the condom and rolling it down his shaft quickly.

“Shut up.” Grayson rolls his eyes, but smiles softly as he settles between your legs just right. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you whisper, gasping as he starts to sink inside you.

“Oh, fuck,” he whimpers as your walls suck him in and grip him tight.

He goes slow for a couple of minutes, allowing both of you time to adjust to each other. He stretches you out so much better than anyone you’ve ever been with, and you can’t help but clench around him when you see those tattoos and smell his cologne and hear his voice — all things that remind you that this is Grayson fucking you.

He growls the first time you do it, then sits up hastily, pulling his face out of your neck when you do it again. He tucks his knees beneath him, sits on his heels, and hauls your hips into his lap as the speed of his thrusts picks up incrementally. Until he’s fucking you for real, and your tits bounce in your bra with every upstroke.

You shove an arm beneath your pillow, enunciating the curves of your body, and watch his expressions as he fights to hold back. His hair is disheveled, lip caught tight between his teeth and muffling his deep, satisfied sounds that mingle with your open higher-pitched ones. He catches your eye and his hands on your hips grip you so tight for a moment that you’re sure little bruises will be there in the morning — not that you mind.

“Fuck,” he whispers harshly before slowing his hips and shifting down to give you a deep, sloppy kiss. “Turn over.”

You moan into his mouth, then follow his order, rolling onto your front as soon as he pulls out. You expect him to haul your hips up into the air, but he moves your hair off your neck and trails sweet kisses from shoulder to shoulder, his hand sweeping down the subtle curve of your back until he’s gripping your ass.

Grayson’s hand moves down your thigh and pushes it up and out once he’s cupping the back of your knee. The angle encourages you to twist your upper half until you have sight of him once again in all his angled, sweaty, muscular glory.

“Fuck me, baby,” you beg him, already anticipating the fullness inside you again. Needing it.

“Want me to fuck you?” he asks needlessly, pushing into your pussy once again. You moan loudly, either in confirmation or from pure pleasure, it doesn’t matter. The angle is tighter, the tip of his dick hitting a spot so perfectly accurate inside of you that you can’t concentrate on anything other than how good he’s making you feel. “Yeah. So fucking sexy. So beautiful...”

“Gray.. oh fuck yes, right there,” you whimper, catching onto his arm as he leans over you and gives you those hard, steady strokes.

“Open your eyes, baby, lemme see them when you cum,” he growls out.

You open them as much as you can, your vision blurry, but you can still make out those handsome features soaking in the pleasure on your face. Watching and waiting for you to get yours so he can get his.

As soon as you’re clenching like a vice around him, Grayson is letting go into the condom. You can vaguely feel the throb of him as he cums in spurts, the sound of his masculine, drawn-out groans making you shiver and tense up even more on his dick. If it’s possible for anyone to sound as sexy as they look, Grayson achieves that in spades.

He collapses on the bed next to you, and you have just enough strength to roll over until he’s got you gathered in his arms. You nuzzle into his chest and try to process everything. You had been hoping for nice sex today, and instead you got the best sex of your life.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence while you both catch your breath, after he pulls and ties off the condom, you smile into his cooling skin with a satisfied sigh.

“Thank you for making this the best Valentine’s Day of my life. Especially after it was starting to look like the worst.”

“You made this the best day of my life, period,” he says, kissing your forehead. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Gray.”

#the relief i have in finishing this lmao #im sorry its a day late this took way more effort than i thought it would #dolan twins #grayson dolan #smut #blurb #g blurb

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lunammoon · 4 years ago

Text

The Problem With Hetalia (As told by someone who actually in the fandom until like, 2016)

I'm hoping this post will explain to people who are still into Hetalia why a lot of people have an issue with from the perspective of someone who knows a lot about the show.

TL;DR: By making the WW2 axis powers come across as a lovable idiot, his serious friend, and the stoic voice of reason, it downplays the serious nature of what the Axis did and seeing as the real-life Axis harmed real-life people, many people have a justifiable huge issue with this.

I will go more into depth about this under the cut.

A lot of people are talking about how Hetalia is coming back after 5 years and a lot of people are rightfully annoyed at the show. But what I'm seeing is that a lot of the people who are upset are people who clearly haven't watched the show and therefore are unable to explain to people who have watched it why it’s bad. The most that you hear is:

"it glorifies the Axis Powers" (which isn't 100% accurate although the assessment that they are portrayed in a way that makes them seem less bad is accurate)

"Hetalia Cosplayers wore Nazi uniforms in front of a Holocaust memorial" (which I'd say is more of an issue with fans than the show).

That is not to say that there isn't an issue with the show, because there really is. But these observations are unlikely to mean much to someone who watches Hetalia. So, in this thread, I'm going to explain why Hetalia is Problematic with the added context perspective of someone who was into the show during most of middle school and until Freshman year of high school.

I knew the human names, used to jam to "Always With You" and "Pub and Go" and “It’ll Settle Itself Somehow” and “Light my Heart” and “Absolute British Gentleman” and “Mein Gott” and “World Rondo” and “Excuse Me, I’m Sorry” and so, so many more.

I lost my shit with everyone else when the season 6 ep dropped and Italy danced like he was possessed by a demon. When I hear “ACE” family, I don’t think of Youtubers. I actually took a side on the FruUK vs UsUk debate and if you look in my archive, you can probably find some Hetalia posts that I’m too lazy to delete.

The point here being, I’ve actually seen the show so I know what I’m talking about. This isn’t an outsiders perspective is what I’m saying.

So, let’s get right into it. While technically only seasons 1-2 are officially actually called "Axis Powers" (Seasons 3-4 are called "World Series" Season 5 is "Beautiful World" and Season 6 is called "World Twinkle") WW2 and things relating to the Axis Powers are an important part of every season and appear prominently.

While Hetalia has covered many things from all different time periods, the two most common periods covered are the modern-day and of course, the second World War. The show is Japanese and (I assume) because Japan was on the Axis side, these portions focus more on the Axis Powers of Italy, Japan, and Germany. The Allies do come into play. And while the Allies aren't directly like, evil, which would've been FAR WORSE they've got a kind of Team Rocket-esque thing going on? They're not exactly mustache-twirling villains but they're clear antagonists. Make no mistakes.

I think the deserted Island arc is the best example of the problems many people have with the show.

Take for example, that beach fight. If you've watched Hetalia, you'll know the one I'm talking about. The one that they reused like, 50 times. The Allies are clearly shown as the antagonists/aggressors while the Axis are literally just vibing on a (kinda) deserted island and defending themselves.

Now, if this was three dudes chilling on the beach and they suddenly got attacked by another five dudes also on the beach who they then fought off until the five attackers ran away that’s be one thing.

The issue is that this is supposed to be a representation of WW2. It's basically saying "oh, Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Fascist Italy were literally just vibing, not bothering anyone when suddenly, the Allies attacked for no reason. Luckily, they (the Allies) retreated because the Allies are Cowardly but they keep coming back and bothering them,". Do you see the issue there? Most of the beach arc seems to be the writer forgetting that these are supposed to be Nations, not a random Italian dude, a German dude, and a Japanese dude.

“Oh, but they don’t glorify Nazi Germany. They don’t really even talk about what Germany was doing! Look at this pic of Germany in a lab coat holding a dandelion :)“

That’s not the defense that you think it is and it’s actually a main part of the issue that I, and many other people have with Hetalia.

I think the scene where this issue is the most obvious is the one where they are gathering around a campfire and talking and one of them comes up with the name "the Axis". The whole scene has the same energy characters in a moe anime coming up with a band name.

They’re sitting on a beach at night. I think there might’ve been a campfire, the stars are out, and the three of them talk about their dream of making a world that revolved around them. One of them comes up with the name “the axis” and then they all talk about how you would translate "axis" in their language. It’s all very found family-esque. The way the scene is framed is to encourage you to route for them to reach their goal. It’s the same kind of tone you’d see in a shoujo with a girl telling her friends about how she wants to win the singing competition no matter what or in Sword Art Online when Kirito talks about saving Asuna.

The issue is that their goal isn’t to win some competition or to save someone they care about. It’s to spread facism, imperialism, and bring about genocide.

There of course don’t SAY that that’s their goal, and outside of a one off line in the English dub that’s been since censored, they don’t really bring up what Germany was up to during WW2 vis-a-vie the Holocaust and if they did bring it up, I either wasn’t paying attention, it was in the manga, or it was in one of Germany’s character songs.

The issue is that during WW2 the show seems to at best forget and at worst, gloss over it that the main trio that they're focusing on are the villains. And not like, fantasy villains. Actual real-life villains that hurt real people in the real world. Imagine if instead of Ludwig Beilschmidt and Feliciano Vargas, it was Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini.

Are you seeing the problem yet?

I get why people like to watch the show. Ignoring the WW2 bits, it’s actually pretty good. I, as an American, really like Alfred F. Jones and the way he’s portrayed.

If Hetalia had stuck to non-WW2 related things such as that episode where the nations all talk about how horror movies differ in their nations, or they talked about their Christmas traditions. Or the ones where America and Japan are roommates. Or when they showed that time when America airdropped XL condoms on Russia labeling them as "small" for intimidation reasons. Or that series of episodes where they talked about Micronations. Or that time they all had to come together to fight aliens. Or the bit where they talked about the WW1 Christmas Armistice. Then it would be fine.

The issue is that they didn’t.

If they kept WW2 stuff for SOME reason. They had two options.

Make the axis as proper villains

Be explicit in showing that the nations will doesn't reflect what their leader wants.

The first option wouldn’t be ideal if they wanted to cover any time period other than World War 2. The axis would be too unlikable and I doubt that an anime where Japan is the villain would appeal much to Japanese audiences.

But what about the second option. Have a bit where Ludwig is passing out White Rose pamphlets or smuggling people to safety.

Have Kiku (Japan for people who don’t watch Hetalia) purposefully looking the other way as Sugihara writes visas to get people to safety and covering for him against his boss. SOMETHING!

But instead of doing either of those, they took the bad third option which was, their choice to instead make the axis seem like likable individuals who are a group of three good friends who work together will in contrast with the “bumbling Allies” who are barely cohesive and constantly fight and argue. At best, makes it seem like both sides had a point and at worst, makes it seem like the Axis was a better than the Allies.

All of this is to say that liking Hetalia does not make you inherently a bad person, but you need to be more critical of what you watch and understand that there is a reason that some people have a genuine issue with it and they have a very good reason for that. You can still watch it the show, but do keep this information in the back of your brain as you do

#hetalia #hetalia discourse #hetalia 2021 #aph hetalia #discourse #long post #post under the cut #i hope that i explained myself well

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lomlmarvel · 4 years ago

Text

It’ll Always Be You II

Randall Carpio x fem!Reader Series

Part Two [Part One]

For the past few hours, you had been catching up on some reading. There wasn't much to do since classes hadn't begun yet. Hamish was getting ready for his first day of class by looking over his scheduling log and re-reading the material he was going to cover the first day. You felt like you didn't even need to attend his first class since you had heard him repeat his speech a dozen times in the past hour.

Lilith had gone to the store to buy groceries and toiletries. She returned and left again to go on a run. The den was quiet, other than Hamish's muttering in the corner of the room as he rehearsed his speech again. He had been making drinks in between and offering them to you while he practiced his speech. You had taken a few, but you could feel the alcohol start to intoxicate your body, and you didn't want to get drunk the day before classes began.

You didn't want to be drunk if Randall came back to the den and wanted to talk to you about what had happened earlier. Honestly, you hadn't stopped thinking about it since it had happened. Why did he keep leaning in if he was going to back out last second? Did he even mean to lean in, or did he even realize it? Did he have feelings for you? Did he know about your feelings towards him?

Your mind was buzzed with all the possibilities as to why Randall leaned in and why he pulled away quickly. Part of you had hoped that it was a mistake and that it meant the two of you would remain friends forever. But the other part hoped that he was as infatuated with you as you were with him.

You took another large gulp of the alcoholic beverage that Hamish had prepared for you. It had been placed in your hand for the last 10 minutes, but your thoughts had been so busy with Randall that you had forgotten it was there. It was the afternoon, Randall should've been done with doing the last tour and checking in with everyone. He should've been at the den by now. That's if he decided to sleep in his room at the den. Maybe he decided to stay at his dorm to help the freshmen settle in their first night.

It sucked, knowing this would be the busiest time of year for Randall. It meant you would have to deal with all the Order newbies with Hamish and Lilith, not that they weren't good company, but you preferred to be with Randall.

"What's wrong?" Hamish called out to you. He had been watching you for the past few minutes, seeing as you harbored the alcoholic beverage in your hand. You would usually take it all in one sip, but this time was different. He knew something was up when you showed up at the den by yourself and without Randall. The two of you were always together, even when Randall had to be working.

"Nothing. Just tired of reading 'Hamlet' again. I finished 'Ready Player One' a couple of days ago, so this is the only book I have left," You replied, lifting the old cover of 'Hamlet' that was in your hands.

"You can get started on the philosophy readings you have to do--" Hamish started, but you cut him off.

"No, thanks. I have one day of summer left, and I do not want to spend it doing homework," You stated. Hamish smiled at you, placing his lesson plan on the table and walking over to you on the couch.

"First off, Professor Krowchuk is thinking of adding three more books to the lesson plan, so you might want to rethink starting your reading now. Secondly, I know something happened with Randall," Hamish commented. You sat up from laying down and faced Hamish's concerned expression.

"C'mon, you can tell me," He softly said. He placed his hand over yours, and you smiled at him sweetly.

"It's just--We were out by the tree earlier, and we were talking. I mentioned how I got into Krowchuk's class and when I turned to look at him, I didn't realize how close we actually were. I guess he didn't realize it either, but he wasn't pulling away. I figured I was finally going to shoot my shot and kiss Randall," You told Hamish, explaining what had been on your mind for the past few hours. Hamish stared wide-eyed at you, waiting for you to continue telling the story.

"And..."

"And, I started to lean in, because I thought he wanted to kiss me too, but then last second he pulled away. Pulled away, as in, he literally jumped two feet away from me to put distance between us. He got all weird, started packing up, and made some lame excuse about going back to the dorms. So I came here," You said, shrugging your shoulders at the memory.

"Maybe he was just scared?" Hamish asked. You sent him a glare.

"It's Randall. He's not scared of shit."

"Look, maybe he just got nervous. Don't give up on him or yourself. Shoot your shot if he won't do it first," Hamish advised. You nodded and set your book down.

"Thanks, Hamish." You pulled him in for a hug. When you pulled away, your phone vibrated in your pocket and saw a text from Jack.

Meet me at the Blade and Chalice for a drink? It's on me :)

Oh, by the way, Randall's coming too

You showed Hamish the screen, and he shrugged.

"Shoot your shot," He replied. You stood up and grabbed your sweater as you made your way to the door.

When you arrived at the B&C, the two guys were sitting at a table with two beers in front of them. Randall immediately made eye contact with you the second you stepped into the room, but quickly avoided your gaze until you stood two feet from them.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Jack greeted you. You smiled and took the seat in the middle.

“How was orientation?” You asked. Grabbing what you assumed to be Randall’s beer and took a sip out of it. He stared at you for a moment before looking down at his hands.

“Let me get you a drink. I promised I would,” Jack said, watching you set the bottle back down in front of Randall.

“No, it’s fine. Randall doesn’t mind, we share beers all the time,” You responded. Jack turned to look at Randall, who nodded in return. He gave you a look before answering your question.

“It was fine. Didn’t really need to have a tour. You know Pete would talk about it all the time, I have like a mental snapshot of the map”

“He was rejected by his tour guide,” Randall cut in after Jack. You stared back at Jack, who rolled his eyes.

“I’m not interested in her,” Jack replied. His attention fell to the corner of the room where a posse of freshmen was seated.

“You into him or her? Or the other him?” Randall asked Jack, bumping his shoulders. You leaned over the table and punched Randall in the arm.

“Ouch!” Before you could respond to Randall, Jack cleared his throat to get your attention.

“What do you know about the Hermetic Order of The Blue Rose?” He asked. You looked at Randall, smirked, and turned back to Jack.

“It’s a crock of shit,” You stated. Randall agreed and discreetly pulled your chair closer to his. You turned your head to catch Randall leaning next to you, with his stare already on you. You sent him a small smile, which he returned.

“I think they may have been recruited, and I’m trying to figure out what they have in common.”

“Besides being...” Randall asked.

“Elitist assholes?,” You replied to Randall, causing him to chuckle.

“Hey, a lot of good people are members. Michelle Obama, Warren Buffett, Oprah,” Jack defended himself. You gave him a serious look and heard Randall shuffle next to you. You turned around, and he was starting to talk. Did he move his chair so the two of you would be touching legs?

“You know who’s also supposed to be members? Bad people, like Benito Mussolini, George W. Bush. Oprah,” Randall said. He glanced at you and noticed you staring at him.

“For people that don’t believe, you two sure know a lot about them,” Jack observed. You turned away from Randall’s stare.

“Randall’s Wikipedia smart, and I’m just the unfortunate one who listens to him talk all day,” you started. Randall softly kicked your foot with his. “Look, even if they do exist... I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

Jack gave you a glare and took a sip of his beer. “Why is that,” he asked, a hint of hurt in his tone.

“They want sheep, and from what I remember, you’ve got a mind of your own,” you replied. Jack nodded and raised his bottle to you.

“Well, who wouldn’t want unlimited power?” Jack commented. The three of you looked at each other and nodded.

“I have to do something, so I’ll catch up with you later, alright?” Jack said as he looked at you. You nodded and pulled him in for a hug.

“I’ll see you later. Thanks for the beer, Randall,” Jack said, turning to the dark-haired male next to you.

“See you around,” Randall replied. The two of you watched as Jack walked out of the bar. An awkward silence settled as you turned to look at each other. You weren’t sure whether to bring up what had happened a few hours ago or pretend that it never happened.

“So, Jack seems real--”

“Hey, sorry about earlier-”

You and Randall stared at each other, cutting each other off. Neither of you said a word, you kept looking into each other’s eyes.

“About earlier, I just wanna say I’m sorry,” Randall was the first to talk. “I’ve been thrown off this entire week for some reason, and I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re my best friend, and I guess I just got caught up in the moment,” Randall stated. You felt your heart fall, and your throat tighten. You wanted to cry, but you kept in your tears. It was just like how you had thought, he never had feelings for you.

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. It’s the beginning of the school year, we’ve got a lot of pressure. I don’t blame you,” You lied, placing your hand on his arm. He looked down at your hand and smiled.

“C’mon, let’s go back to the den. I have a feeling these assholes are gonna start using bad magic soon,” you said. Randall nodded and laid a $20 bill on the table. The two of you got up and made your way out.

The next two weeks were stressful for everyone. Jack had managed to get involved with the Order, but you only found out because Randall had told you. Randall and Lilith had been hunting down this thing that was killing pledges. Hamish had been busy with his class, and you had been busy helping Lilith and Randall figure out what the creature was. You had found some books in the basement, but Randall said it would be quicker to just search on Google. Being how you were so in love with him (and majorly because you didn’t want to read all those old books), you followed his direction.

With Randall, the two of you had gotten back into your regular routine. It was as if nothing had happened. You never revealed that you did, in fact, have feelings for him, but since he clearly didn’t have any for you, you decided to not say anything. You treasured your friendship too much to risk losing it.

However, things got interesting one day. You had gotten back from your last class of the day and started prepping snacks for the movie night you and the Knights would be having. Yet, when you arrived, the front door was swung open. You entered the living room and began scanning the rooms. But a particular smell led you to the basement. There, you found ripped up clothes. You searched for a wallet and saw that it belonged to the one and only Jack Morton. You immediately called everyone else and went out to search for the newly-turned werewolf.

#randall carpio #randall carpio imagine #randall carpio x reader #jack morton #jack morton x reader #jack morton imagine #hamish duke #hamish duke imagine #hamish duke x reader #The Order #the order netflix #netflix #alyssa drake #lilith bathory #lilith bathory imagine #imagine

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newmysterygirl · 4 years ago

Text

No Warning Just Cute and Funny :)

Reader's P.O.V

Benito took Me,Jamal, Ruby and Cesar to get icecream because I wanted icecream. On the way back Jamal points out "A dog"

Ruby "Aw its lost"

I'm looking at it as we are driving past and it gets farther away.

"Stop the car."

Benito slows down and says "What you feel sick?"

"No. That puppy"

Benito rolls his eyes and keeps driving. So I do what any.... Crazy. Animal. Lover would do.

"Cesar scoot over to the middle for a second please"

Cesar does as I ask. I pull the lever to lift up the seat and open the door. The all yell my name but I'm already rolling. Out the car. Yes. I jumped out the car. I couldn't just leave the poor baby.

I knew Benito would throw me over his shoulder and put me back in the car so once I stop rolling I jump up and start running. I heard someone say shit. I'm assuming Benito and he probably got back in the car to stop me but I ain't leaving without the dog.

I get closer to the dog and see it's just a puppy and a beautiful one at that. I'm slowly walking towards it. I hear the car pull up behind me and them get out.

Ruby and Jamal run up next to me, holding my arms to stop me from getting closer to the dog.

Jamal says "You can't just walk up to it."

"Watch me" they pull me back

Ruby says "The dog could have rabies"

Cesar walks up and says "He called Oscar"

"Why"

He shrugs and I say "He should of just called my dad. He would understand. I get my Crazy Animal Love from my mom."

"PUPPY" I yell which makes Jamal and Ruby look at me like I'm crazy. Which I mean I am but they apparently haven't realized that.

The puppy stops, turns around and looks at us. Me and Cesar both say "Awe" We both crouched down putting our hands out. The puppy stares at each of us for a while then fully turns towards us which makes me smile.

It slowly starts walking towards us. Me and Cesar look at each other, smiling. When the puppy get to us it inches closer sniffling our palms. It finally let's Cesar pick it up after we sat there letting him warm up to us.

Benito finally walks up to us "I got off the phone with Spooky. He's gonna call your dad to meet us at the house"

"Ok. But we need to stop and get dog food and water first"

He stares at me like really. No.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

We got some dog food, water and 2 bowls. Benito is smoking while me and Cesar watch the pup eat and Jamal and Ruby..... I think they're talking about how stupid this is but oh well it's my decision and its already done.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Ruby,Jamal and Benito are in the front and me and Cesar are in the back with the pup.

Right now we are pulling up to Cesar's house and from 5 houses down I can already see the guys waiting. As we get closer I see my dad.

Benito shuts off the car and gets out. Jamal gets out then Ruby gets out, lifting the seat for me and Cesar to get out. "You hold him and then let him go when I call him. Okay?" Cesar nods and I get out after taking a deep breath.

My dad is the first to speak "What is this I hear about you jumpin out a moving car?"

"It was to help a puppy."

Oscar "The car was moving."

"Yes. I know. I was there. Very much so there actually." I roll my eyes then look back at my dad. Once I see he looks pissed I yell "Churro!" then give him an innocent smile. They look at me confused till the. We found out a Fox Red Lab. Jumps out the back of the car.

The guys either "awe" or say "wow" and bend down to let Churro smell them

Sadeyes "Boy or Girl"

"Boy" I say proudly

"We'll take care of him"

I look at Oscar confused. So he Continues "He'll live here."

"No the hell he won't. He's mine. I don't live here and he will live where I live."

"Well we can change where you live. No problem." Oscar says with a smirk

I roll my eyes and say "No Oscar.

I jumped out of a car for him."

Everyone laughs

Benito "Shit. Yeah she did." He looks at me and says "It was stupid as hell but" he bends down to pet Churro "We got this cute little bastard"

"He is NOT a bastard. A bastard is a kid who's parents aren't married"

Most of the Santos say "Really"

"Yes and" I bend down to pick up my Churro "that isn't the case for Churro because he has only ever had mommy" I say in a baby voice

Oscar clears his throat "I'm right here"

I look him up and down then say "Yeah. I see you."

Oscar rolls eyes and says "He's my son"

"No he's not"

"He's Santo property"

Me,Ruby and Jamal all gasp with a hand on our chest. Jamal covers one of Churro's ears before saying "He is NOT an object"

Cesar smirks and says "I thought you didn't like him"

"He's not that bad" Jamal say petting Churro's head

Ruby "Yeah and he makes The Princess happy"

They all look at me holding Churro like a baby and smile. Till Churro licks Jamal's face. Jamal backs away before saying "Okay. Now that. We're gonna have to talk about."

We all start dying of laughter. Once we all calm down my dad says

"Fine. You can keep the dog BUT you and Spooky have to discuss custody arrangements"

I look Spooky dead in the eye and say with a straight face "Take me to court bitch"

He raises a eyebrow while everyone laughs.

The End💙🐶

BTW

In This Carlos Is Her Dad⬇️

I know everyone has different names for him but this is who I pictured as Carlos ⬆️

#on my block #omb #sad eyes x reader #sad eyes x you #oscar spooky diaz #spooky diaz #cesar diaz #jamal turner #ruby martinez #one shot #wattpad #oscar diaz imagine #imagine #fandom #newmysterygirlonmyblock #newmysterygirloscardiaz #newmysterygirlfluff

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themusicplayedherlife · 5 years ago

Text

Some Sugar

Part 4: I Need Something Fake

pairing: sugar daddy!steve rogers x reader characters: reader, steve rogers, others word count: 5k+ warnings: angst, fluff summary: things are looking up and you’re flying high a/n: ive broken i need something fake//it’s just manners to pretend into two parts after last chapters mishap. it was starting to get unnecessarily long lol

prev || all || next

Your mom is finally home.

She still has to go back to the hospital for a final check of her arm and the chemotherapy treatments she has left, but you can finally breathe with relief that she’s home.

Esmeralda seems to be more at ease now that she’s back, too, less reluctant to stay at home while you’re at work. Not that she had to worry about that anymore. With what you’re getting from Steve, you’ve been going back and forth with the idea of turning in your two weeks notice at the restaurant or cutting back your hours at least. But you still can’t completely decide. Selena says you should quit, and you haven’t been able to get Steve's input with him currently being away on a mission. But you have a feeling you know what his answer is going to be.

“You cleaned,” she says softly and you smile.

You shrug. “I did what I could.”

Esmeralda throws a pillow in your direction and you dodge out of the way, laughter bubbling from your chest. “I helped too!”

“Did you?” you tease, passing by her with a ruffle of her hair. “If I remember correctly, you were just throwing shit at me instead of cleaning.”

“I was not!” she shoots back, curling herself into your mom’s good side, legs over her lap and her arms around her shoulder and stomach. “I really wasn’t, mom.” She really is the baby of the family.

Before your mom or you can say anything, a loud banging from your neighbor causes you to jump. It’s soon followed by muffled yelling from Mr and Mrs Pallomari, the two trying to outmatch one another’s voices—nothing new.

Your sister sighs heavily and your mom shakes her head. A loud, “Fuck you!” resounds through the hallway and into your apartment as the door is slammed hard enough to shake the walls.

“Straight couples,” Esmeralda says in a serious tone with a deadpan expression she throws in your direction as if she were in the Office, after a moment of silence she breaks it with a giggle and you and your mom can’t help but laugh with her.

However, your laughter is cut short when there’s a bang on your door, the hinge making a horrible screech as if ready to fall over followed by a loud, “Fuck everyone!”

Esmeralda sighs and stands up, moving towards your tool box. “I’ll check the door.”

You send her a gracious smile tinged with nervousness. “And I’ll get started on dinner.”

You can’t sleep, body jerking awake with every sound you hear coming from the main hallway. Any little or loud sound could be Mr. Pallomari ready to fight with his wife and drag all of you into it, as he usually does. Their fighting hasn’t escalated in a while, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t again.

It’s exhausting having to deal with them and all the shitty people that live in the building.

Not much you can do about that except move out. Maybe eventually you’ll have enough to do so. It’s plausible, but you don’t want to splurge, not yet anyway. Not until you’re more secure.

And besides, not everyone in this building is like them.

There’s Doña Garcia and her son Benito, who live across the hall from you. Sweet woman. And her son? A college student that your sister looks up to, having found a kindred spirit in him when she started questioning her sexuality. Both of them check in on your family whenever they have the chance, dropping off food when Doña Garcia cooks too much (but you have suspicions that she actually does it on purpose).

Then there’s Mayra, the sex worker who lives a floor below you, along with her five year old daughter, who you’ve fondly dubbed Juju; and her grandmother Marsha, who loves to gossip with Doña Garcia and your mother. You used to babysit Juju when you had the time, but now it’s Esmeralda who offers her assistance when she has the chance, which is rare since Marsha loves taking care of her granddaughter, but sometimes the older woman needs a break too.

Because of them, because there are good people, you’re not in any hurry to move out, but maybe you should start keeping your options open, especially if you’re lying awake late at night in fear of your neighbor and his tantrums.

You sigh, throwing your arm over your eyes, the faint sounds of people yelling out in the streets and sirens wailing filtering in through the closed windows. Should you make yourself a cup of tea? No. The pot makes a lot of noise and you don’t want to risk waking your sister up.

You reach for your phone resting on the coffee table and quickly unlock it to scroll through your Instagram feed. You would text Steve or Selena, but you’re afraid of messaging him in fear of getting him in trouble or waking up Selena, who is guaranteed to be asleep by now. For now, you settle on liking pictures from old classmates you no longer keep in contact with.

So many old faces getting married or having kids, graduating and getting their masters, or just having the time of their lives.

It’s amazing how easy it is to lose contact with people who were once your friends. Everyone got so busy, including you, to make ends meet that you were no longer able to keep up with one another. You wonder what life would’ve been like if you didn’t live like this, if you had actually finished school—would you be in grad school? Married maybe? Thinking about kids?

Fuck. This is why you usually stay away from Instagram. You hate yourself for ever allowing yourself to think “what if?” when all you can do is work towards a better future, not a different past.

Your breath stutters and just as you’re about to place your phone back down after liking another picture of someone partying, it comes to life with Steve’s name. With your heart racing, you quickly answer.

“Steve! You’re back!”

He’s quiet for a moment and you suck in your bottom lip. “I’m back,” he finally says, soft and followed by a chuckle. “What are you doing up, sweetheart?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Did something happen?” He asks, worry ringing in his voice.

You stare up at your ceiling, not sure how to tell him about your neighbor. But it’s not important, and you’re most likely being paranoid anyway. “Not really, I just—mom is home and I've been kicked out to the living room. The couch isn’t very comfortable.”

There’s rustling on his end and you wonder if he’s getting ready for the night. “That’s great! Not you having to sleep on the couch, but your mom being home. How is she doing?”

“Fine. I think. Tired, but that’s nothing new.” He hums and you readjust yourself, pressing your back against the length of the couch's backrest as you turn on your side. “How was your mission?”

“Tiring,” he admits immediately, letting out a sigh—and he definitely sounds it. Frustrated too if that grunt he lets out absentmindedly as he moves around is of any indication. “Recon was a bust. Complete waste of time.”

“Is it okay for you to be telling me this?”

He chuckles at your haste words and heat crawls up your neck. “Can’t give you details, but yeah, yeah I can. I want to.”

Your grip on your phone laxes, and you hadn’t even realized how tightly you were holding it. “Okay, then vent away.” You wonder if he can hear the smile in your voice.

“I wasn’t expecting you to answer.” He pauses. “At best, I thought I’d hear your voice through your voicemail and that would’ve been enough for me. But being able to talk to you right now… it makes me forget how stressful this mission has been.”

A soft kind of heat envelops you, taking hold of your heart with every sincere word he speaks. “Steve…”

“So, there isn’t any need to vent about. Really,” he adds softly.

You cover your chin with your blanket as if to hide your ever growing smile from him, dumb really. Not as if he could see you right now. “I get it.” And you do. You really do. “I think… I think I’ll be able to fall asleep now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The conversation lulls, his relaxed breathing filtering through the phone. And you can almost picture him sitting on the arm chair, head against the backrest, eyes closed as he breathes through his nose. Even when you close your eyes, you can feel his presence next to you.

Is this what it feels like to have someone to rely on? Someone who makes you feel safe and protected?

But your relaxation is short lived—loud noises and a male yelling fills the hallway, causing you to let out a gasp and to jerk up. On the other end of the line you hear Steve slur, asking you if you’re okay, but the noise drowns him out and a loud bang on your door causes you to drop your phone and to stand.

“Sis?” Esmeralda’s alarmed voice reaches your ears, and you quickly spare her a glance over your shoulder as she comes closer.

“It’s fine, Esme, go back to bed.”

“But—“

Another bang and the door makes a loud creaking sound. “Open the door, you dumb bitch!”

Your heart tightens at Esmeralda’s wide eyes, fear slipping into them as they drift between you and the door. “Esme! Go back to bed, please. I’ll handle it!”

“He’s going to break the door!”

Before you can yell at her again, your door is thrown open and Mr. Pallomari stands in front of you, ragged and a complete mess. His eyes hazy and misted over—drunk.

Fuck.

“Where is she?” He demands, face blotchy as he staggers forward.

You quickly stand in front of Esme, pushing her behind you, ignoring the way your heart races and breath picks up. “You have the wrong apartment, Mr. Pallomari! Your wife is not here.”

“Don’t lie to me!”

You need to get Esmeralda away from here. “Mr. Pallomari—“

“Where’s my wife?! Where is that bitch?!”

You push Esme further back and bend your neck to talk to her, doing your best to keep the drunk man in your peripherals, “Go. Call the police.”

“But—“

For fucksakes! Why doesn’t she ever listen to you? “Esme—“

“I’m going to kill her when I find her!”

It all happens so quickly that it almost feels like you’re dreaming—Esme lets out a loud shout and you turn just in time to watch Mr. Pallomari surge forward, his hands reaching for you. There isn’t enough time for you to push Esmeralda and yourself out of the way, not with your feet rooted to the ground—and before he can even grab an inch of you, his round body is tackled to the ground by a smaller, thin body.

“Benito?”

Benito has him by the arms, face pressed down to the ground, but he’s struggling to keep the older man's pudgy body down with his petite frame. It’s the concerned call of your name by Esme’s small voice that has you moving, dropping down to your knees and keeping a part of your weight on the buckling, drunk man to keep him down.

“Ay, dios mio!” Doña Garcia exclaims and Benito lets out a frustrated huff as he asks his mother to call the police just as you do the same with your sister.

“Thank you, officer.”

She nods and moves away from you to walk over to her partner as he pushes Mr. Pallomari into the back of the cop car.

“Good for Alicia for finally leaving her good for nothing husband,” Esme says, leveling a glare in the direction of the cop car flashing red and blue. “Poor woman needed a break.”

You crack a tired smile and wrap an arm around Esme, who leans into you. “She sure did. You okay, Bennie?”

Benito looks up from his phone, most likely texting his boyfriend about what transpired tonight, and nods. “Fine. A little sore,” he says as he circles his arm and holds his shoulder. “But I’ll live. What about you?”

“Rug burn—“ you kick your leg out to show off the wicked pattern on your knee from where you practically slid to help Benito—“but I’ll live too.”

He snorts. “I’m going to check up on our moms.”

You nod as Esme pulls away and she looks up at you. “I’ll go with him and get started on the door.”

“Okay, I’ll be up in a minute.”

She squeezes your hand and follows after Benito, looking back at you once before disappearing behind the heavy metal door leading into the building.

Sighing, you cross your arms over your chest, gripping your forearms tightly as you watch the cops fill out some paperwork; Mr. Pallomari in the backseat with his eyes closed and teetering between the space of a drunken haze and sleep. Will he regret his decisions tomorrow? Or will he act like nothing happened?

Frowning, you’re not sure which one you’d like better.

You knew of people like Mr. Pallomari, regretting it for one night and then going back to the same old bullshit, pretending as if nothing ever happened.

That kind of person isn’t safe to live with or be around, and—you hate thinking it, but—you’re not sure if all the good people you live around is enough to keep you rooted here anymore.

A frantic call of your name causes you to jump in your skin, hands falling to your side as your eyes widen when you spot Steve jogging in your direction with only a cap to conceal his identity.

“Steve?”

You don’t get the chance to meet him halfway because he closes the distances between you two in record time, engulfing you in his strong, sweaty arms. His chest heaves under your ear and you stand there dumbfounded, not returning his hug.

How?

He pulls away from you to check you over, hands on your shoulder as his eyes rake up and down your tired form. For a moment relief fills his eyes but then they sharpen at the sight of your forearms—crescent shapes digging into your skin. “What the—”

“I did it,” you hastily mumble, returning your arms to where they were before, easily slipping your nails into the shapes they left behind. “Bad habit.” He sighs softly and removes your hands from your forearms, gently rubbing at the spots with his thumbs, and you relax at the touch. “What are—what are you doing here?”

“I got worried,” he says, lowering his head as if to get a better view of your eyes under the bill of his hat. “I heard the yelling and—“ Shit!

You tightly clench your eyes and hang your head, berating yourself for allowing him to worry. “I’m so sorry! I completely forgot to call you back!”

He breathes in and smiles lopsidedly as you meet his gaze, warily and sheepishly. “It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re okay.” His warmth leaves your arms, gaze moving from you to the cop car. A frown replaces his smile as he glares in that direction. “Is he—“

There’s a bubbling in your stomach, breath catching in your throat and a deep fear beginning to surface as Steve takes a step away from you. Without thinking, without realizing it, you’ve latched onto the hem of his grey v-neck, immobilizing him completely as he turns to look at you. “Don’t leave. Please.”

You can’t meet his gaze, you try; lifting it, but immediately hanging your head once more when they come to a stop at his chin. “Please.”

His chest rises and falls deeply. “Hey,” he starts softly, his warm, heavy hands falling onto your shoulder and pulling you into him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

You press your face against his chest and quiet down the sob that escapes your lips.

“I’m right here,” he repeats softly, an arm wrapping around your back and the other slipping behind your neck, pressing you closer to him—and god you’ve never felt more thankful to have someone like him in your life. Someone who can hold you and look after you. “You did so good, baby. You were so brave. ‘M so proud of you,” he whispers into your hair, and you sniffle in response. “It’s okay to let it all out now. I’m right here for you.”

Your hold on his shirt tightens and you breathe him in, the smell of sandalwood, detergent and clean clothes filling your senses. “I just need a minute,” you mumble.

Something soft pressed against your head—a kiss, a soft kiss. “Take all the time you need.”

Frustration is all you can feel as you walk around Queens looking for an affordable, vacant apartment.

Esmeralda follows behind you dutifully, hands shoved into her pockets and barely holding back a grimace. Maybe you should’ve asked her to stay home, invite over Peter and the others to distract her.

You both had tried fixing the door, changed the hinges, but the actual door? With another attack, the chance of the door breaking in half is highly likely. Your landlord doesn’t exactly use thick, sturdy doors, preferring the thinner less reliable models because it’s more cost efficient. And you’d think because it was cheaper, he’d get off his ass and replace the damn door, but getting him to do anything is like trying to tame a bull. And you can’t even buy the damn door yourself because then your stupid landlord will throw a fit and try to kick you out for fixing his damn apartment!

When you brought up the prospect of moving, Esmeralda had jumped at the chance, agreeing that there had to be someplace in Queens you can afford! Your mom was more reluctant, and unsure, but after a wave of optimism from Esmeralda, she had relented.

And that’s how you and Esmeralda find yourselves outside of another building with high rent. What was this? The tenth place you couldn’t afford? Another place that wasn’t even sure running your credit was worth it?

“Why is everything so expensive?” She finally breaks her silence and you pause in your steps to look at her.

“Hey, we just gotta keep looking. I’m sure there’s a place out there that we can afford.”

“Yeah,” she says with a snort. “With the same shit heads we’re already surrounded by.”

You can’t bring yourself to scold her. You’ve had those thoughts, too, but you’ve always caught yourself before your thoughts could get worse. Because it isn’t fair, not to the people who have been nothing but good and kind to you, and not to your mother who has tried her best to give you everything she could. “Esme,” you start slowly and she grimaces.

“I—I didn’t mean it like that. I meant—I’m just tired.”

“I know, baby.” You approach her slowly, like one would with a small, frightened kitty, and take her hand in yours. ”Let's call it quits today and go home. We can stop by a bodega and get ingredients for those chicken enchiladas you love so much?”

“With queso fresco?” she shyly asks, her earlier frustration melting and showcasing that joyful youth that is rare to see in her.

“With queso fresco,” you promise, the two of you walking with your hands laced together like when you were children walking home from school.

The three of you stuff yourselves until you can’t eat anymore and even make sure to feed Doña Garcia and Benito as a thank you.

When you pack yourself a lunch for your break, your sister whines that you’re stealing her leftovers, but you only stick out your tongue and place it into your bag—all the while hoping Steve will like it.

The bar is alive with soft chatter and noise; Cassandra is behind the bar with a coworker and new hire you’ve been helping train. You clocked out five minutes ago, but you find yourself occupying the booth in the dark corner, watching Steve as he takes a forkful of the enchiladas you made earlier with Esme straight out of the Tupperware.

His mouth closes around the fork and his eyes close, letting out a sinful moan as he slowly pulls the fork out of his mouth and chews.

“Good?” you ask when his eyes flutter open to reveal brilliant blue eyes.

“So good,” he affirms. “Really good.” His lips form into a teasing smirk. “You sure you made these, sweetheart?”

“Hey!” Reaching over the table, you smack his arm with a pout and he bubbles in laughter. “Gimme that, you don’t deserve the rest of these—“

With the quickest reflexes you’ve ever seen, Steve pulls the plastic container away from your reach and beside his being where you can’t grab it unless you round the table. “It was a joke, sweetheart. Promise.”

You let out a mock of a huff, fighting off the smile that’s trying to work it’s way to your lips. “It better be.”

He chuckles and takes another bite, moaning and humming as he goes, practically cleaning out the dish. Watching him devour the whole thing causes pride to swell in your chest.

Resting your elbow on the table, you cradle your cheek. “I probably should’ve brought you more, huh?”

“I’d probably be able to eat a whole tray of these.” You believe him.

“You’d probably have to fight Esme for it.” He laughs and you grin. “But I’ll keep that in mind.” For next time, are the unspoken words. Because there will be a next time and you’re looking forward to it. Is he?

He pauses, eyes skipping up at you and softening as they roam your face for a moment too long, your breaths stalling until he finally says: “I’d like that.”

You breathe out and smile. “Good.”

He flashes you a toothy grin. “How has the apartment hunting been?” Whatever Steve sees in your face causes him to place down the fork and reach for your unoccupied hand. “That bad?”

“Yeah,” you say with a sigh. “Rent has really skyrocketed over the years. I’ll probably have to rescind my resignation from the restaurant at this point.”

“Let me help you,” he says with a squeeze of your hand.

“Steve—“

Before you can tell him he’s done enough, he interrupts you, thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. “My job is to make your life easier, remember? If helping you find an apartment and helping pay rent does that, then I’m willing to do just that.”

You purse your lips, eyebrows drawing together as you think about it. “You really have done too much, Steve. I feel like I haven’t done enough—“

“Are you kidding me? Just knowing I have you, that I can be able to call you after a mission—all of that has done wonders for me sweetheart.” Your breath hitches at his confession and you can’t help the heart that crawls up your neck. “If it really bothers you that much, why won’t you be my date for the upcoming charity gala Pepper and Tony are hosting at the tower?”

He knows that’s part of your agreement! If he needs a date, you’ll be there. Why is he giving you more than you can give? “That’s a given, Steve.” You bite your lip. “Just promise me you won’t go over the top? Even if it’s just a one bedroom apartment in a moderately safe area, I’d be okay.”

He didn’t go over the top, but my god did he almost.

The place he found, not only is it close to May and Peter’s place, but it’s also close to your mom’s clinic. No more having to pay ridiculous prices during rush hour for an uber or cab, no more having to worry about something happening to Esme or your mom on the subways or walking home.

No more.

Your eyes scan the front of the house; it’s light blue, cute with a small patio where a lemon tree is growing, a few specks of yellow showing on the top of it and your heart drops to your stomach only to fly back up and smack itself against your rib cage—it reminds you so much of your childhood home. Your small little home with blue coated walls and yellow window panes that you and JC hated so much because it clashed with the dark blue exterior—“it gives the house personality” your parents would say.

“Steve…”

He smiles down at you, taking your hand in his and pulling you with him. “Come with me.” Pushing open the small white gate, he gently tugs you along with him up the three steps leading you to the front door. He slowly inserts the key and opens the door, and moves aside, allowing you to enter first.

Your hand never leaves his as you enter and he follows after you, not allowing his fingers to slip away from yours.

“Welcome home,” he murmurs, and you don’t have to look at him to know he’s smiling.

You stifle a sob trying to push through your throat, eyes taking in the beautiful, newly renovated home—wooden flooring, fresh painted walls, gorgeous L shaped stairs leading upstairs—and you have to blink to will the tears away. You turn to Steve and find him already looking at you, gauging your reaction, and he looks so soft and proud and happy and—and, god you want to kiss him.

So you do.

You kiss him softly, slowly, tentatively and unsure, and every other synonym of those words. He’s frozen under your touch, completely unaware of what to do, and your heart stutters. Too soon? As you begin pulling away, his hand leaves yours to wrap around your waist and tug you impossibly snug against him, his lips landing on yours for another take—one you gladly accept.

Your arms wrap around his neck, bringing him down closer to you and one of his hands cradle the back of your neck, fingers digging into your skin

He tastes so so sweet—sweet like juicy strawberries straight from their bush during a warm, Spring day.

And you don’t think you’ll ever get enough. God, why did you take so long to do this?

His forehead rests against yours and one corner of his mouth lifts into a confident, boyish smile. “I guess that means you like it?”

Laughter bubbles out of your throat and you nod. “Like it? I love it. More than you can ever know. Thank you.”

The hand on the back of your neck, smoothly cups your jaw as he lets out a sweet sigh. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

His lips dance against yours and his warmth wraps around you, and you know you’ve found something with Steve, something that you can’t quite put into words, something you don’t know if you want to put into words.

Not yet.

A couple of days later, you’re settling everything with your old landlord and moving into your new home. Your mother couldn’t believe it and neither could Esmeralda, but once you told—lied to, really—them that Selena found an old friend of hers that was renting their home because they were leaving out of state, your mother and sister accepted the keys you dangled in front of them.

May and Peter immediately offered their help; Doña Garcia and Benito did too; and so did Cassandra and a few of your coworkers from the bar. Steve tried to offer his help, too, but you waved him off, promising to let him know when you were completely moved in. He begrudgingly accepted, not like he had a choice. He was sent on another mission during that period of time. You miss him, and even though you know he couldn’t check his phone, you send a message everyday with your move-in progress.

Esmeralda throws herself onto the sofa as your mom hums in the kitchen, and you can’t help but send Steve the selfie you took with Esme and your mom when the living room was completely furnished.

A smile blooms on your face as a text bubble appears and your finger smooths over your lips, strawberry lingers on your lips and as you read his message, you want to taste him again.

You look beautiful, sweetheart—all three of you do.

Can’t wait to see that beautiful smile of yours in person soon xx

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve x reader #steve x you #steve x y/n #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers #marvel imagine #reader insert #i forgot to tag before posting oops

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ewgoals · 4 years ago

Text

Phoenix (1)

Chapter one- 1985

1985

Word count- 7,621

Trigger warnings- Drug Use, Cursing, Racist slurs,smoking,underage drinking,fighting, underage sex mentioned, cult themes.

A/N: This is Chapter one of Phoenix, please let me know how you are feelings about this. I am very excited for this, also did you catch the reference or am I too old haha. This isn’t how Harry lost his virginity it’s how the person this book is based off did.

Tatianna Deluca was born on September 24th,1968; She was the fifth child born to Agina and Benito Deluca. Agina and Benito were both immigrants coming to America when they met. Agina Chernyshevsky was born on January 15th, 1942; in Moscow, Russia, she was the only girl born into three boys. Agina’s parents sent her and her brothers to America in 1958, wanting to make sure their children had the best life they could, Agina lived with an aunt for a little while until she met Benito Deluca. Benito Deluca was born on July 18th, 1940, in Venice, Italy.

Benito was the youngest boy of six boys; the family left Italy when Benito was 16. Benito worked various jobs through New York until he finally settled on a restaurant in Brooklyn, New York. Agina and Benito met in 1958 when Agina went into the restaurant wanting to try a New York pizza for the first time, Benito loved the thick Russian accent that the short young woman had plus Agina had a beauty like no other with her bright blonde and stunning green eyes and olive skin. Benito was hooked; what he didn’t know was that Agina had pretty similar feelings towards the man as well. Agina could feel herself falling in love with his bright blue eyes and dark hair; he kind of reminded her of old blue eyes himself, Frank Sinatra. Benito finally got the courage to get to ask Agina onto a date after she came into the restaurant for the sixth time that week, Agina agreed with no looking back. Benito and Agina were married on July 15th,1959.

Agina and Benito went on to have their first child a few months later, on May 6th, 1960. Agina and Benito both weren’t very fluid with English, so they often talked to their children in either Russian or Italian, depending on which parent they were speaking with, often relying on American music and American Television to teach their children English. All of the children quickly picked up the third language and found almost comfort in music, which led the oldest five to take up an instrument.

Tatianna growing up was a devout catholic just like her family, they would wake up at 6 am just to make it to mass at 7 am. Tatianna would often spend her time in church making fun of her brother’s in the tuxes they would wear, but they would often make fun of the dress their sister would be forced to wear. The kid’s parents would often slap them behind the head to make them stop talking. As Tatianna became more involved in church life, the woman began singing for the choir. She would often be given the parts, where she was hitting high notes and long notes. The young girl was 15 when a record executive saw her singing in the choir and asked her parents if she could join the small girl group he wanted to create, the parents knew that their daughter wanted to be a singer, so they quickly agreed.

May, 1985

Tatianna was moved to Los Angeles, California. When she was 17 after her parents gave her older brother Illya temporary custody of the young woman, Tatianna wasn’t really into the music, the girl group which now went by the name “through thick and thin” she hated it. They were a typical pop group whose songs were written by other people and had no real heart behind them. Tatianna would often tell her brother about it, but she didn’t want to bother him too much, so she would often keep it inside her.

Tatianna was sitting in the studio as the girls were recording their new album. She was getting sick of listening to this girl Ashley sing the same line repeatedly because she was often flat with her delivery of the line. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back in like an hour,” the producer just nodded as the woman grabbed a pack of cigarettes and left. She was walking around sunset blvd; she was like a kid in a candy store. The woman loved all of the stories coming out of this strip, and the bands that played here we what she wanted to be, Tatianna shook her head as she lit another cigarette standing across the street from the famous Troubadour.

Tatianna remembered reading a magazine a few years back where the Rolling Stones called in one of the world’s best rock clubs; she was taken out of her thoughts by something hitting her. The woman gasped as she felt the front of her being covered in liquid “what the fuck” the woman’s thick New York accent mixed heavily with a Russian one, especially when she was angry. “I’m so sorry,” an English accent spoke before Tatianna sighed a little as she helped the young boy up “it’s fine, I guess I was to blame too. I wasn’t paying attention” the boy nodded as he said “where are you from because that doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard” the woman just smiled as she spoke, “I’m from Brooklyn, but my mother is from Russia, so it comes out more when I am yelling I am Tatianna by the way.”

The boy nodded as she finished, “Oh, sorry. I’m Harry” The woman just smiled a little curly-haired boy in front of her as she laughed a little “well, Harry, I wish I could say it was nice to meet you. Still, you kinda ruined my shirt” Harry laughed a little as he looked down at the woman’s outfit, she was wearing a pair of high waisted leather pants that she paired with a crop top of the musician Elton John before Harry quickly dug into his pockets and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. He handed it to the woman. “Here that should replace it,” the woman shook her hand as she pushed his hand backNo,o. you are a baby, keep your money. I’ll just make my brother give me his” Harry raised an eyebrow as he quickly came back with, “I’m not a baby. I am fifteen.”

Tatianna laughed as she smiled “you are a baby. I have a little brother just your age.” the man shook his head as he said, “I’m not arguing this. You are wrong” Harry said stubbornly before Tatianna just laughed “here how about this I have to go back to the studio to record some stupid ass songs that I can’t stand why don’t you pay me back by keeping me company because my brother even bailed on me today.”

Harry smiled as he nodded ‘Just let me call my mom and tell her” as soon as the word’s left his mouth, Tatianna laughed “see a baby” Harry looked down as he shouted “okay you win that” Tatianna laughed as she lit another cigarette and motioned with her head “come on little boy” Harry just laughed as the walked back to the studio, Harry asked about Tatianna’s large family and Tatianna asked about Harry’s career.

When they finally arrived at the studio, they walked into a shit show to say the less, Ashley was screaming in the face of the other bandmate Aquanette, better known as Aqua to everyone she cared for. Tatianna was about to leave when she heard Ashley say “I am the only talent in the band, I am stuck with Jungle bunny and a Nazi oh wait I’m sorry she’s also a Guido” The thick southern accent of the woman finished as Tatianna finally pushed Ashley back out of Aqua’s face “you better back the fuck up before you end up on the floor” Ashley quickly got into Tatianna’s face “Suka, luchshe vernis', prezhde chem ya pozvonyu dyade.”

(Bitch better back up before I call my uncle.)

The woman spoke between her teeth as Ashley said, “Hitler needs to calm down” Tatianna rolled her eyes as she said, “I’m Russian, you dumb cunt. I helped stop Hitler, you dumbass hick” Tatianna stayed in the face of the woman as she felt a familiar hand grab her elbow as Harry almost looked scared “Why don’t we leave.” the thick English accent spoke as Tatianna nodded before she left the woman quickly punched the other woman in the face as she grabbed her purse and her leather jacket. Harry smiled sweetly at the woman as they left the building Tatianna grabbed another cigarette lighting it and taking a deep drag as she closed her eyes “That was pretty cool, I wasn’t expecting that left hook” the woman laughed shaking her head “I have four older brothers I need a good left hook to survive” Harry laughed as looked over at her just smiling as he did so.

Tatianna was about to make a joke before she heard her brother Ilya deep voice yell, “what the fuck. I left you alone for a day, and you hit one of them” Tatianna’s New York accent came out as she said, “Fuck You! That racist ass bitch got what was coming. She called me a nazi, but that’s not why I punched her. She called Aqua a jungle bunny” Ilya just shook his head. “Uncle John would be proud” Tianna shook her head before pointing at Harry “this is my friend. He spilled coffee on my shirt, but he’s still my friend,” she joked. The curly-haired boy next to her laughed a little and stuck out his hand “Harry Styles it’s nice to meet you” the man said, Ilya stuck out his hand and shook the other man’s hand “so where to next?”

Tatianna smiled as she said, “let’s get curly over here a fake ID, and let’s go see this new band Guns n roses” Harry smiled before saying, “you can do that?” Tatianna nodded as she smiled “Oh, you poor sheltered boy. Yes, we can do that” Harry nodded as he smiled “yeah let’s do that” Ilya smiled as he said “let’s go find a payphone and get you an ID” The three made their way to the apartment that the studio pays for after getting the face of ID for Harry. They wait a few hours before leaving for the Troubadour.

Once they arrived, Tatianna felt an arm wrap around her waist before she had time to react. “I knew you would come,” Tatianna squealed as she turned around and hugged the man tightly. “Axl!” the older man laughed as he hugged her back, rubbing her back. “Oh let me see what you are wearing” the man joked as he pulled away as the woman did a little turn, he looked her up and down seeing that she changed into a high waisted black skirt, that she pulled up too much to make it into a mini skirt. She paired it a white crop top with the logo from the band Guns n roses “I know my boobs aren’t that impressive, but hey once I get the money they will be done” Axl laughed as he smiled “you look gorgeous” the man hugged her again and kissed her cheek as he squeezed her ass which made her gasp as she laughed.

Harry saw the situation and couldn’t help but get a little jealous of the situation; the man didn’t want to admit it because he barely knew the girl, but he couldn’t help himself. The young boy walked away from the two very familiar friends and went over to the bar and handed the bartender his fake ID and ordered a random drink; the man was on his second drink before Tatianna saw him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder’s “Hey there you are baby. I thought a lost you” Harry smiled as he looked down, “yeah, I felt awkward.”

Tatianna smiled as she ordered herself a drink before she said, “Oh, honey. That’s a good friend of mine. I met him while I was trying to sneak into a concert. If I’m honest, he took my virginity but don’t tell my mom” Harry looked over at the woman as he nodded “My mom made a tent in the back yard and gave me condoms” he joked looking at her as Tatianna smiled before pouting “You aren’t a virgin? Damn, I wanted to take it” the woman joked as she winked at the man finishing her drink before she ordered another one “I haven’t been a virgin since I was four” Tatianna looked at him confused “what?”

Harry looked down as he said, “my first sexual experience was when he was aged four. Living in Venezuela with his peripatetic family – who were subscribed to the Children of God kids were coerced into performing sexual acts with parents and other children. But I’ve blocked it out. I was completely celibate from ten to 14. I haven’t really had sex with many people. So, I decided to lose my ‘second virginity,’ you know, because he lost my first when I was four. So, I decided to drop it to this older girl I knew, and strangely enough, I asked my parents for permission. Instead of just saying yes, my parents put a tent in the backyard for me to get it on in, and they ‘decorated it to enhance the mood.” Tatianna just looked at him, shocked.

Tatianna went to speak, but Ilya said, “Hey, take this. I’m going to this girl’s place. Tell Axl to take you home after” Tatianna took the vile from the man and nodded as she turned back to Harry. “Listen, that’s fucked up. I thought the catholic religion was bad, but wow. I’m sorry that happened” Harry shook his head, “what’s in the vile?” Tatianna shook her head “nothing you need to get your hands on, let’s enjoy the show” Tatianna ordered a couple more drinks as she smiled “come on” the woman pulled him into the crowd as she got closer to the stage, she felt Harry be pressed up against her. The woman smiled as she reached behind and pulled him closer, keeping his arm wrapped around her waist as they looked up at stage “see, I can protect you.”

Harry smiled at his hand around the woman’s waist before looking up as he smiled gently, the woman finished into her drink as she placed it on the floor and leaned down putting the vile her brother gave her into her nose and took a deep breath in snorting a small amount of the powder into her nose. She threw her head back before running her finger over her teeth. “Fuck” Harry was confused, but he didn’t question it too much, they enjoyed themselves during the concert quickly leaving afterward. Harry was drunk, but Tatianna was utterly shit faced, she was high as well as drunk.

When the two teenagers arrived back at her apartment, Tatianna grabbed Harry’s shirt, “Nope. You are staying with me. I’m not letting mommy yell at me because her baby is drunk” Harry laughed as he followed her up to the apartment, as soon as she was in her own house she quickly pulled off her shirt “Thank god” she said as Harry smiled at the woman “I’ll sleep on the couch, get some rest” Tatianna shook her head “you’ve been dancing with me all night and feeling up on me too. You can sleep with me” Harry nodded as he followed her into the bedroom. “If you are more comfortable,” Tatianna admitted as Harry smiled “No. I’m excellent.”

The duo fell asleep shortly after; they were cuddled up when they woke up the next morning Tatianna just smiled at Harry cuddled up to her as she slowly sat up and stretched her back out. The woman looked down and took a deep breath as she saw herself in her PJs, “thank god,” she whispered as Harry spoke, “don’t seem so disappointed” Tatianna laughed as she said, “Maybe when you are older Harry.”

The two friends remained close ever since then, they would always hang out, and when they couldn’t, they would call the other on the home phone in their house. Tatianna just looked at Harry as a friend, but it was evident that Harry felt different, the man would always find a reason to compliment Tatianna or tell her that she was the most talented girl in the world. Tatianna would always tell him that he was good for her ego, but she never really let him take it farther than that.

June 1985

Tatianna was shocked when Harry invited her to the set of Stand By me; she was also completely taken back when she saw her curly-haired boy with a clean-shaven head, it took the woman a few minutes to even recognize the boy she cared about so much. The woman couldn’t believe that he cut his hair, she already missed the curls of the man, she just shook her head at the shock “Hey beautiful boy” was all she said as he hugged her “Hey Titi” the woman smiled at the nickname her family gave her “come on show me around please.” the man nodded as he took her hand and led her into the closed set.

Tatianna gripped Harry’s hand as she felt eyes staring at her, the woman tried to calm herself down by telling herself that they were just trying to figure out who the woman. Tatianna kept telling herself until she heard a female voice said, “That’s the girl who attacked her bandmate” Tatianna just looked down, trying not to cry as she gripped Harry’s hand tighter “Harry, I should go” was all she whispered. Still, he turned back “Hey, you just got here” Tatianna just shook her head as whispered “Harry, these people hate me because of what happened with Ashley” Harry just hugged the woman tightly as he ran his hand down her back “come on, let’s go to my trailer” the woman wiped her eyes as Harry led her back to his trailer.

As soon as the door closed in the trailer, the woman broke down. Tatianna felt like she couldn’t stop the tears as she tried to catch her breath, she wasn’t one to cry about some words that were said about her but more than anything the situation frustrated her which caused the tears to fall. Harry was quick to be by her side as she put her face in his lap, he rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her dark locks as he whispered “You did the right thing with Ashley” The woman shook her head as she sat up “clearly I didn’t I’m being called unprofessional and reckless. She called Aqua, a jungle monkey. I mean, yes, it could’ve been worst, but it’s still racist as fuck” Harry nodded as the woman spoke through her tears.

“I know that beautiful girl; you did what any good human would’ve done” Tatianna looked up at the man, as he wiped her tears away “I will protect you from them, please stay” Tatianna nodded as Harry placed his hand on her cheek, she relaxed into his palm as she closed her eyes “Thank you sweet boy” Harry smiled as he leaned forward and kissed the woman’s forehead. Tatianna stood up, and Harry wasn’t far behind her as she grabbed his hand “Ashley is a stupid whore” Harry shook his head as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I’ll always have my girl’s back,” Tatianna laughed as she wrapped her arm around his waist “I’ll be your girl when you can grow a beard” “shit” The duo laughed.

Tatianna was sitting in Harry’s chair as they went through the scene they were filming, Tatianna closed her eyes as she listened to the various lines that Harry was speaking. Harry’s English accent was completely gone and replaced with an American one; this caused Tatianna to open her eyes and watch the man in front of the camera. He grabbed her attention; he almost demanded her attention much different from his shy self that Tatianna loved so much. When the director called cut, the woman shook her head as he smiled at her boy, walking towards her.

“What did you think?” Tatianna couldn’t help but smile as she spoke, “You were beyond amazing already. I can’t wait to see it completely.” the woman went to talk as she heard someone fake cough as they said “Whore” Tatianna to roll her eyes as she turned around looking at the woman who just fake coughed, Tatianna just smirked as she fake coughed as well “Cunt” the woman cleared her throat as she spoke “Sorry I had something in my throat before I called you a cunt” Harry tried not to laugh as she took her hand walking away from the pathetic woman.

Harry and Tatianna finally finished at the studio that day, as they were leaving Tatianna made sure to flip the woman off once more as she wrapped her arm tightly around Harry’s waist. When the inseparable duo finally made their way outside, the woman let go of Harry’s waist as she ran her hand over his short hair “please tell me it’s a joke” Harry laughed as he shook his head “Sorry beautiful, it’s all real, but my hair grows back super quick, so I’m not worried.” Tatianna, as she smiled, “well, if anyone can pull it off, it’s you.” Harry smiled as he said, “and you said that I’m good for your ego” Harry laughed as Tatianna smiled as she looked over at him and smiled, “what to go out again?” Harry smiled as he looked down at his wallet to make sure he had this fake ID “Sure. if they will still take this”

Tatianna couldn't help but smile “okay, I’ll meet you at the whiskey in like two hours” Harry nodded as he kissed her cheek as Tatianna just smiled as he walked back into the movie studio, Harry couldn’t wait until he was done he missed hanging out with Tatianna due to both of them having such a busy schedule. Harry was finally back on the set, looking around for his co-star, finally settling on Corey Feldman. “Hey man,” the quirky kid just smiled as Harry put his hand on his shoulder. “Did you see her?” Corey laughed as he smiled at the other boy. “Yes, Harry, we all saw the brunette with blue eyes and legs that go on, and the ass that won’t quit” Harry lightly slapped the boy’s head “Shut up. I’m going to convince her to be mine today.”

Corey laughed as he shook his head “No you aren’t she is a rock girl, she wants the sex, drugs and rock n roll. You will never be that guy. She looks at you like a little brother. If you keep on this trail, you will just make yourself sad. Why don’t you ask that one girl who keeps calling you?” Harry looked a little disappointed that Corey was more than likely right about his situation with Tatianna, but Harry nodded, “Yeah, Martha is a nice girl. I guess I should just ask her out already” Corey nodded as he placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder “Maybe one day you’ll get your rockstar girl but no way in hell you’ll be able to get her with your baby face” Harry rolled his eyes as he pushed the other boy’s hand away “Yeah Yeah Yeah I know. She’s too pretty for me.”

Corey shook his head as he said, “quite the opposite you are both beautiful people, she is just in a different mindset. You are looking forever, which is rare in a fifteen-year-old, and she’s looking for right now and how much fun she can have.” Harry nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at Corey “I don’t know why that helped me a lot, but you did.” Corey smiled as he pointed at his head “I’m pretty smart, but I act like I’m stupid, so people don’t expect my smartness” Harry smiled sweetly at the other kid “You are beyond smart. You should show it more often.”

Harry went over to The Whiskey A GO GO as he planned with Tatianna a few hours earlier, the man looked around trying to find his friend. When he finally saw his friend she was on the dance floor with a guy dancing behind her, the woman was wearing a pink bra that made her boobs look amazing. She paired it with a black fishnet crop top, the woman’s slim stomach was out, she had a white pair of shorts and a black pair of boots. He could see her long socks, poking out the boots. Harry couldn’t take his eyes away from the way the woman swung her hips as she moved them against the man’s groin, Harry saw the man’s arms wrap around Tatianna’s stomach and the other around her neck pushing her closer to him.

Harry looked at the two on the dance floor recognizing the tattoo on the man’s arm; Harry knew it was Axl Rose. The young man just sighed as he went to leave; he couldn’t deal with it. He knew that he just had what people would call a schoolboy crush on Tatianna, but he felt like it was more than that, it had only been two months, but he knew that he wanted her. He wanted all of her. He wanted the woman who stood up when others were scared too; he wanted the woman who demanded anyone’s attention and often would never let another person interrupt her. Harry finally walked out of the bar with tears in his eyes, maybe Corey was right. Perhaps he should call Martha.

July 1985

When July came around, Tatianna noticed that Harry wasn’t talking to her as much, she would often avoid her calls, and when she would show up to his house, he would make an excuse for why he was busy. Tatianna was beginning to have her feelings hurt. Still, she really couldn’t let it affect her, seeing as she was leaving for a tour. The woman would begin a year-long tour around America, and it would start in Alabama of all places or as Tatianna’s brother so nicely put it, cousin fucker state. Tatianna was leaving the next day making sure she said goodbye to Axl and the few friends she made from knowing Axl, the woman was going to force Harry to at least spend an hour with her if anything just to say goodbye.

Ilya told her this plan was stupid, but she did it anyway; Tatianna decided that she was going to get all dressed up, and maybe that would convince Harry well at least his teenage boy hormones to want to hang out with her. Tatianna found a tight pair of white jeans that hugged her body in every perfect way it could; she went with a long cut tank top that she stuffed into the pants. Tatianna did her makeup just like she did the night. Harry told her that she had the most beautiful eyes making sure to make them pop more. Once she finished with her hair, she left for Harry’s house he shared with his family. Tatianna knocked as Harry opened the door the younger man looked almost nervous.

Tatianna raised an eyebrow as she said, “Hey, love, I’m leaving tomorrow. I was kinda hoping we could hang out?” Harry looked back behind the half-opened door. “Umm. Tatianna now is not a good time” the woman tried to cover the hurt in her eyes as much as she could when she heard Harry say her full name “Oh, um sorry. I guess I’ll see you next year,” the woman said, smiling as best as she could. When she went to walk away, she heard a very unfamiliar female voice said “Harry, where did I leave my shirt” this caused the woman to turn around as a young blonde walked out of Harry’s house and said, “Okay, I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.”

The young girl who looked to be just about Harry’s age walked back Tatianna not giving her a second glance, the older of the three people just laughed “that’s why you have been busy?” the New York accent running through Harry’s ears as he tried to cover his embarrassment “My goodness! I thought you hated me! You never came to the whiskey that night, so I thought people convinced you that they were right about me. Harry, you can tell me you have a girlfriend.” Harry smiled as Tatianna found the perfect excuse for him without having to admit his feelings.

Tatianna smiled as she reached out, “can you please come to hang out with me?” Harry took the woman’s hand as he closed the door behind him, the woman smiled wide “Okay, I’ll hang out with you.” the man joked as Tatianna intertwined their fingers “come on I found this cute little restaurant” Harry raised an eyebrow “I’m Vegan Titi” the woman smiled at her nickname as she said. “I know that Harry, I made sure that you can eat” the man shook his head “No, I’m taking you somewhere to make up for me getting all weird” The woman silently agreed as they began walking in the opposite direction.

Tatianna was honestly going to give up on this whole thing until Harry brought her to a private beach. It honestly looked like nobody was ever here. Harry broke the silence as he said, “I found this the night I stood you up at the whiskey” Tatianna shook her head “It’s all good. You stood me up, but I don’t mind. I mean, it hurt my feelings, but you were with a girl it’s fine” the young boy shook his head “No I wasn’t. I saw you dancing with Axl, and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I left” Tatianna looked at Harry, confused as she said “Yeah we were dancing? Why didn’t you come to say Hi? Axl loves you. He says you are a little brother he’s always wanted.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he spoke, “because he was all over you, you said you lost your virginity to him so I assumed you were going to leave together why get in the way?” Tatianna did her best to find the perfect words as she said “Harry, I think Axl is a great man. He’s talented and smart but he’s not the guy I would sleep with more than once well I guess twice. He’s my best friend and we were dancing like that because these guys kept groping me” Harry looked down at the floor as she kept speaking “I was excited to spend some time with you but instead you came to a beach alone” Harry nodded as he said “I had to think about some stuff. About our friendship”

Tatianna looked visibly hurt as she just laughed “great they got to you too” the woman said turning around shaking her head “you are big boy walk home by yourself” Harry quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him, they were face to face “let me go, Harry. I want to go home” the man shook his head “No, listen to me nobody got to me I was thinking about our friendship because it’s so much more to me Titi” Tatianna was confused until Harry leaned and kissed her softly, the woman didn’t react at first before she kissed him back. The woman felt his arms wrap around her waist, Tatianna placed her hand on his arm as she pulled away resting her forehead against Harry’s as she whispered “Harry” The boy shook his head as he whispered back “No, I don’t want to hear you are like a brother to me or that I’m too young.”

Tatianna smiled sweetly as the boy in front of her as she whispered “How about while I’m gone you think about your feelings and when you turn 18 if they are the same we can talk about it” The boy shook his head as he said “I will always feel this way for you so what’s the point in waiting” the woman cupped his cheek as she spoke softly “so that you are completely sure and so that you don’t break that little blondes heart” Harry sighed softly as he pulled her close hugging her tightly putting his face in her neck almost inhaling her scent once more, Tatianna hugged him back tightly rubbing his back “I’m looking for forever and you are looking for fun” the woman chuckled a little as she rubbed his back once more “kinda my precious boy.”

The woman pulled away as she said “I’ll write to you every day I’m on tour. I’m begging you please think with your heart and not your head and find what’s in there please” the girl said kissing the side of his head as she pulled away slowly and made him look at her “I love you Harry and I don’t want to lose you because my heart doesn’t feel this way for you right now” the boy nodded as she kissed his forehead “come on let me walk you home.”

December 1985

Tatianna wrote a letter to Harry every night just like she said she would, the women would try their hardest to avoid telling him about the various horrible things that Ashley would say about Aqua or herself. Tatianna didn’t really care about what Ashley said about her if she’s honest, she just cared that Ashley was able to say horrible and negative things about Aqua and her race because of the fact that this so-called manager agreed with Ashley’s racist ass. Tatianna made sure to always sign her letters with the quote “lots of love and always thinking of you” Harry kept every letter in a small box, they made him feel special, it made him feel even more special when he ran into Axl one night on sunset and the older man asked Harry if he had heard from Tatianna.

It was clear that she was really only writing the letters to him, this sent his heart on fire. He knew that he didn’t need a few more years to think about whether or not Tatianna was the one for him. He knew that she was the one he was meant to be, now he just needed to convince the woman of this as well. He understood why she didn’t want to get with Harry, he was only fifteen what does he know about love but all the boy talked about Tatianna. She was all that was on his mind, she consumed most of his thoughts. She was an addiction and Harry had no plans on kickin it.

Harry decided that he was going to tell her all of his feelings about her when she came back to Los Angeles for her next concert. He felt it was the perfect option, if she said no then he could have six months to get over the heartbreak before he would see her again. Harry made sure to get himself all dressed up for her concert, he was wearing a pair of khaki skinny jeans that he put a black shirt on but quickly covered it up with an orange sweater. Harry felt it was perfect, nothing too fancy but also something casual so she didn’t get any ideas in case he changed his mind.

Tatianna was sitting in her dressing room, which she happily shared with Aqua. The woman was finishing her makeup as Aqua spoke “Did you hear that Ashley is trying to go solo?” Tatianna laughed as she began putting away her makeup “I would like to see that. Please don’t get my hopes up” the other woman laughed as she looked at Tatianna “girl you need to get out of this band. You are way too talented to be here” Tatianna shook her head “No, I’m not leaving you so unless you agree I’m staying right here with you” Aqua just shook her head “when you leave I will too. I’ll work in your parent’s restaurant”

Tatianna laughed as she lit her cigarette and took a drag before saying “I’ll hold you to that. I’ve decided if she says anything tonight she’s getting knocked out on stage” Aqua laughed as she shook her head “Please. I’m begging you to just do it at the end of the set” Tatianna smiled as the devil herself walked into the room “Michael Jackson is in the crowd tonight, you two better not try to show me up” The southern accent rang through the room “Shut up. If you speak to me again you will get fucking hit” Tatianna said standing up “Okay little boy, talk to me when you grow some boobs” Aqua quickly grabbed Tatianna as Ashley turned around and slammed the door.

Tatianna rolled her eyes as she went to her bag and grabbed her outfit for the night, Tatianna put on a pair of high waist black spandex shorts that showed her ass perfectly. The woman put on a red button-up shirt, she tied up to show off her torso “I’m going to kill her tonight” Aqua changed into her stage outfit as Tatianna looked over at her and smiled softly “promise to leave with me” Aqua smiled as she nodded “Yes, You and me” the girl winked. Tatianna walked out of the dressing room and saw Ashley having Harry almost pinned against the wall as she was leaning into Harry.

Tatianna quickly walked over and pulled the woman away from Harry, the woman put Harry behind her as she said “Ashley, go-to side stage now” Ashley just rolled her eyes as she looked at Harry who looked very nervous “call me” Ashley winked as Tatianna turned around looking at Harry “Are you okay?” the man nodded “Yeah, I was trying to give you these flowers and she kinda attacked me” Tatianna looked down completely heartbroken that she put him in this situation, the woman quickly hugged Harry as he hugged her back he buried his face in her neck again for the first time in a month. Tatianna pulled away as Harry handed her a bouquet of blue tulips as she smiled softly “Oh my goodness thank you.”

Tatianna took a deep breath of flowers as she kissed Harry’s head-hugging him tightly afterward, the woman closed her eyes for a moment as she took the man’s hand leading him and Aqua towards the side stage. Tatianna pulled Harry close almost making him wrap his arm around her waist “you smell good” Tatianna smiled a little as she heard Harry’s voice next to her ear “well thank you, sweet boy.'' The woman said as she placed her hand on his arm that was wrapped around her torso, the woman handed him her flowers “Stay here and be safe” she said kissing his cheek.

Tatianna took a breath trying to control her emotions, the woman walked on the dark stage standing where she was supposed to as she took the microphone. Tatianna closed her eyes hearing the first note of the song, the woman hated dancing but she was taught the dance moves so she did them. When Ashley finished her small number, Tatianna finally sang the words “We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you, I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep But I'll never show it on my face But we know this, we got a love that is homeless” Aqua and Tatianna took over the next lines singing with perfectness. “Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that. Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours”

Ashley looked angry as Aqua and Tatianna’s voice blended perfectly together, Tatianna wasn’t really paying attention to Ashley she was more forced on the boy on the side stage. Tatianna didn’t want to admit that the boy with a little crush on her was causing her a lot of feelings, she knew that she couldn’t be with not until he was older. When he knew that she was what he wanted, she couldn’t be the reason he didn’t find true love.

Tatianna was taken out of her thoughts by Aqua singing her part “When you're with him, do you call his name Like you do when you're with me, does it feel the same? Would you leave if I was ready to settle down? Or would you play it safe and stay? Girl you know this, we got a love that is hopeless”

Tatianna went to start singing as she walked to the other side of the stage, where she was tripped by Ashley. The dark haired fell and hit her face on the stage which caused her to bust open her lip, Ashley gasped trying to play the good guy. Tatianna couldn’t take it anymore; she managed to spit some of her own blood out of her mouth and quickly tackled Ashley onto the floor of the stage. Tatianna had the racist ass bitch pinned down as she threw shot after shot. The women didn’t realize what was happening until she felt familiar hands wrap around her waist and pull her off quickly, Harry lightly shoved Tatianna towards the side stage as medics rushed out to help Ashley.

Aqua and Harry managed to get Tatianna back into her dressing room, once she was there she began to clean up her own lip “I’m fucking done! I’m going back to New York! I’m going to work in my parents restaurant for the rest of my life and if I see that bitch in New York i’m calling my uncle and I’m going to have him get that bitch” Harry looked a little confused seeing as he’s never heard the woman speak like that and he’s never heard of his restaurant. Tatianna was taken out of her screaming as her older brother walked in “Ты тупая сука. Как мы будем теперь есть?” (You stupid bitch. How are we going to eat now?)

Tatianna looked down as she closed her eyes trying to avoid them filling with tears, the woman didn’t really even think about her brother in this situation. She was more worried about the fact this woman have the guts to trip her and bust her lip on stage, the woman looked up at her brother with tears in her eyes as she spoke back “Мы можем просто пойти домой, пожалуйста” (Can we please just go home)

Illya went to argue but sighed softly “Yeah, give me a few minutes.” Aqua followed her brother out of the room, which left Harry and Tatianna “so you are really going back to New York” Tatianna sighed as he spoke before nodding “don’t really have a choice. I don’t have that much money, I’ll go home to my parents and forget this music dream” Harry shook his head “You can’t do that, you are beyond talented. Your voice makes me believe in angels” Tatianna shook her head as she smiled “Thank you but I can’t do this anymore, I need a break from all of this” Harry nodded as he looked down sadly.

“I’m in love with you” was all the english accent said as Tatianna sighed softly looking down at her vanity desk “Harry, you are fifteen. You don’t know what being in love is” Harry shook his head “yes I do. I know that you are all I think about and when I see you I get this overwhelming feeling in my chest. I know that you feel something too or you would’ve told me to drop it and not wait until i’m eighteen or write only me letters” Tatianna looked up at him as she stood up and walked over to him as she took his hands “Harry, I’m your first real crush. That’s what it is. The girl you lost second virginity too was a girl that you could have sex with.”

Tatianna kissed his hands before she said “Harry, you are the most amazing kid. Maybe later down the line it will be good for us, right now I don’t even know what is going to happen with my career or my life and how can I get into a relationship with someone who needs to learn more about himself as well as what love is? I need to focus on me. I need to fix myself. I can’t help you find you as well” The woman said as she finally met Harry’s eyes that were filled with tears. Tatianna felt like an asshole but she knew that she was right but he was also right. She did feel something but not enough to ruin what was going on for him. The older woman wrapped her arms tightly around Harry, he did what he always did when they hugged, burying his face in her neck. The two stayed for what felt like hours, in some sick way they both knew this was goodbye.

Tatianna and her brother Illya packed up the apartment they shared, and took a bus back to New York. California was always going to be in Tatianna’s heart, it was the place she found the purest man and almost gave her heart to him.

#Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles smut #harry imagine #axl rose imagine #one direction imagine #one direction #one direction imagines

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jasmine-flowered · 5 years ago

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I am from Georgia, so it annoys me so much: the cross on Felixs sweater was the bolnisi cross and the designer was Demna Gvasalia, it was from a collection called the SS19 collection which was inspired by his refugee past. On the sweater you can literally read georgian writing "ერთსულოვნება არხი" on it, which roughly translated to "Lord have mercy on us". So no. It is not an iron cross. Please people, educate yourselves and don't believe everything clickbait media writes. Just google this.

This is a long, long post, so buckle up!

From another anon: Just want to clarify some things about pewdiepie. His recent video wasn’t racist, at least in my eyes. He didn’t make fun of anyone for having coronavirus, all he did was say “corona-chan” or something. His wife’s dog is not named Benito. His wife’s PARENTS named their dog that. Why blame Marzia for something she didn’t even do? Also I’m pretty sure him paying people to do that horrible stuff was to see how far people would go for cash. ALSO what he wore was not mean to be an iron cross. It’s a very significant symbol in fashion for the country of Georgia, and the Nazis stole it. That’s like saying anyone with that Buddhist symbol is a nazi just because they stole that too and turned it into the swastika

From yet another anon: You guys do realize pdp recommended the “Nazis” channel because of an anime review right? That was the only content he watched. The “nazi” things were some - admittetly- bad jokes the guy had on one of his OTHER channels and on his videos from 2 years ago. He also shouted out over 20 other channels that were completely harmless. Like, okay, I get not forgiving him for the shit he has done, but I wish people would do their research for once instead of believing everything tumblr says.

From even another anon: Just a few things about PDP that I want to clear up. First the “Iron cross” he did not wear a Nazi symbol he wore a shirt with a georgian bolnisi cross by a Georgian designer named Demna Gvasalia. People often mistaken it as a Nazi symbol. Secondly the channel shoutout he didn’t go through that creators channel to see if he had any Nazi content all Felix did was talk about that guy who made a video essay of the anime Death Note (I think that was the anime) that was all Felix watched. 1/2 While it was lack of judgement PDP didn’t mean to promote someone with videos from long ago that had Nazi content and so PDP deleted the link to that person’s channel and edited out the parts where PDP was talking about him. Thirdly the origins of Maya I don’t know where Marzia got Maya’s name from I assumed it’s just a girls name considering Maya is a girl. However I do know Edgar is named after the poet EDGAR Allen Poe. That’s all I’ll say for now. 2/2

Another one: I don’t see how a dog marzias parents named is having anything to do with pdp

Another one: Just a precisation…Since I read one of your previous asks about Pewdiepie. Now, I don’t like the guy. I was used to, but now his content is not appealing anymore…He wasn’t wearing a nazi cross. That is a notorious clothing brand and that is a Bolnisi Cross, a national symbol of Georgia. His dog’s name is Edgar. From Edgar Allan Poe and not from Benito Mussolini. The promoted nazi youtuber was a random guy who was doing anime reviews. He didn’t check, but one can’t blame him for this… ..The corona virus joke was about his recent trip in Japan and he was telling his experience about it with and about all the panic because of it. (it was a bad joke? Sure.). The ones on his twitter are nazi people who followed HIM after the shooting thing. Not vice-versa. He stated he do not condone nor agrees with anything those people do in both a video AND on twitter. This guy messed up in past and his jokes are stupid. No doubts about it. But some of these “proofs” were incorrect facts.

Alright! Now that we’ve gotten everything on the table, I’m going address things by each point, the way the original anon did. I’ll use their original words too so it’s simpler to follow.

- paid men to hold up a sign that said death to all Jews: This was to see how far the people on Fiver would go for just five dollars. It was an insensitive joke, and a better one could’ve been made, but Felix likes to brand himself on edgy humor. He wanted to do something that no one would ever conceivably say for five bucks. However, the point still stands. There were better jokes. This was, as the kids say, “not it, chief.”

- paid a man dressed as Jesus to say Hitler did nothing wrong: see previous statement. Again, I understand what he was trying to do, but the way he went about it could’ve been handled better.

- has put Nazi footage in his videos a lot: Sources? No one talked about this in the asks. I’d love to see the videos.

- promoted a fascist author as his favorite author: Sources? No one talked about this in the asks. I’d love to see what you’re talking about.

- worn an iron cross (Nazi symbol): This is the one that’s the most strongly contested. From my understanding, and from what I found on the internet, “The Iron Cross is a famous German military medal dating back to the 19th century. During the 1930s, the Nazi regime in Germany superimposed a swastika on the traditional medal, turning it into a Nazi symbol.” So originally it was not a Nazi symbol. From the anons here, and I’ll use the words of the first anon, “the cross on Felixs sweater was the bolnisi cross and the designer was Demna Gvasalia, it was from a collection called the SS19 collection which was inspired by his refugee past. On the sweater you can literally read georgian writing “ერთსულოვნება არხი” on it, which roughly translated to “Lord have mercy on us”. This is also the national symbol of Georgia, I believe. Does anyone have a picture of the outfit? That would help clear this up. Otherwise, as usual, it’s a lot of speculation.

- promoted a Nazi’s Youtube channel besides antisemitism: Felix did not do his research. I cannot fault him for that as I retracted my blame on Sean for not researching the developers of Wanking Simulator beforehand (man, sometimes I type out these sentences and I have to think, “what the heck am I even writing right now?”). He promoted a video talking about Death Note, and not the Nazi content. Does anyone know which video this is, so I can make my own conclusions? Apparently it’s been deleted and the link to the person has been taken down, so this is all hearsay. The Nazi stuff was about two years ago, so it’d be difficult to find it amongst the 20 other channels he shouted out.

- just recently made a racist video abt coronavirus: The second anon addresses this, saying the video was not racist. They said he only said something like corona-chan. I’m not sure which video this is from, can anyone tell me? His video titles are very clickbaity and I’m never sure which one is relevant to the discussion.

- literally said the n slur: This I’m going to address. I was super disappointed when I found out he had said this, but I was not surprised. For context for anyone who doesn’t know - PDP, while live-streaming a game, was surprised by someone who I believe was using dirty methods to win. Immediately upon seeing the player, PDP said, “what a f*cking (n-word) with a hard “r” at the end. Needless to say, that’s not acceptable. If Mark or Sean had done that, I would’ve unsubscribed right then and there. However at that point, I was already unsubscribed from PDP. It’s unfortunate that he said that and even more unfortunate that it came to him so easily. I’m glad he apologized, but the harshness of what happened was not lost on me.

- his girlfriends dog is named after mussolini: I believe his parents named the dog. Do we have proof he’s named after Mussolini? Benito is quite the common name.

- followed several known alt-righters and racists on his Twitter: Apparently they follow him because of the one shooter that said “subscribe to PDP” or something along those lines. Please correct me if I’m mistaken in that. It was such a worldwide trend to subscribe and do whatever it took to get him more subs. The shooter should not be contributed to PDP as Felix did not endorse him. I’d like to see PDP take measures to block the alt-righters and racists, however with his fan count, I understand that’s difficult and not always feasible.

And that’s that on that! Feel free to continue the discussion. This was a LOT to work through, but it was interesting to see different perspectives! Thank you all for chipping in your two cents, and if you have sources, don’t hesitate to submit them!

#ask #anon #Pewdiepie discourse #tw racism #tw nazi

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nattinatalia · 2 years ago

Text

Jack Harlow x Reader Instagram AU

A/N : This will be part of a fic coming soon 👀

Liked by jackharlow, yourbestiename, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, and 6,156,446 others

yourusername It’s you and me for life 🤞🏼 little girls need to learn their place and not talk out of their ass, because when it comes to him and mines, I don’t play about it and I don’t have a problem with checking a hoe 🤭😜🤪

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yourbestiename Damn okaaayyyy sis, talk yo shit.

yourusername 🤭

jackharlow You know what? As much as I was worried about this whole thing, it was hot watching you put her in her place. Let’s start making babies noooowwww!!!!!

yourusername LET’S DO IT 🤪

urbanwyatt Stfu with your lying ass, you were shitting yourself thinking y/n was going to get arrested or something.

jackharlow 🤫

user So what she said was a lie?

yourusername Sure was, bitch was just talking out of her ass.

anitta I meant no disrespect but it’s sad you’re letting a man come between our friendship

yourusername No disrespect? You lied saying you slept with my fiancé, then went to the press and gave them some fake ass intel. Then lied on my name saying I was sleeping with Daddy Yankee, not only did you lie on me and my man, you lied on a married man, a man who stays away from drama. Miss me with the girl empowerment bullshit of yours, you’re not a girls girl and people need to start seeing that. I did what I did and said what I said, and I don’t regret it.

yourusername Let this be a lesson to you and to anyone who wants to try me and my relationship next. I don’t play when it comes to my personal life, play with your mama not me. Good luck at the awards tomorrow 😘

•

Liked by yourusername, claybornharlow, neelamthadhani, urbanwyatt, and 7,235,765 others

jackharlow Not to be cocky, but let me be cocky….. Y’all should’ve known not to mess with wifey…. She doesn’t play any games when it comes to me and our relationship. She WILL jump tables to get to someone….. I love you baby, it’s you and me until the end of time ❤️‍🔥

urbanwyatt 😭😭😭😭😭😭

2forwoyne NOT THE JUMPING TABLES BECAUSE THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!

jackharlow FOR YOU!!! I was scared!!!!

neelamthadhani Meanwhile where was Urban?

urbanwyatt RECORDING THE ENTIRE THING!!!!! 🤪

druski2funnny Send that shit on the chat now!!!!!!

claybornharlow Crazy shit but how did I get water thrown at me? Your aim sucks sis

yourusername Sorry 😣 you were closer to her 🤷🏻‍♀️

yourbestiename 😭😭😭😭 Why did I miss this????

jackharlow 😩😩😩

Liked by jackharlow, djdrama, neelamthadhani, claybornharlow, badbunnypr, and 7,234,976 others

yourusername Greatest revenge? Beating her in all the categories she was in😜 Okaaay, I’m done being petty 🤪💅🏼 BUT THANK YOU TO MY FANS!!! You are all too good to me and I’m forever thankful for all of you. To my fiancé, thank you for always pushing me and hearing my crazy ideas, even if those ideas are being outside the box and doing things people aren’t comfortable with. Latin music has been dominated by men for so many years, so to see women do their thing and get the flowers and recognition we all deserve, that means the world.. NOW RUN IT BACK BECAUSE LIKE MY FIANCÉ SAYS, WE’RE HUNGRY AND WE GOT MORE TO DO!!!!!

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urbanwyatt It was fun watching you win and watch her face every time 💀💀💀

yourusername Urb and his messy era and I’m here for it 😈

claybornharlow Proud of you sis ❤️‍🔥

2forwoyne Shit I don’t know who was being more loud, you or jackharlow

jackharlow Me for sure 😭😭😭

claybornharlow Yeah right 🙄

badbunnypr POR ESO ERES LA DURA DE LAS DURAS 🔥 🔥 🔥

yourusername BENITO 🙈 gracias por siempre.

jackharlow So proud and in awe of you. Forever your number one fan and hype man. I love you my baby, and yes indeed, we have more to do and we’re just getting started!!!!!

yourusername I love youuuuu. Now time to focus on your album 👀

user Album????? Please share something with us.

yourusername That song that’s been all over TikTok? It’s already a hit, now imagine when the full song comes out 😮‍💨 that’s all I’m saying. Because there’s a Little Secret and I’m in love!!!!!!! 👀 🤭

jackharlow Not you dropping hints 😭🤪🤪🤪

yourusername Don’t act like you didn’t give me the green light to say that.

•

Liked by yourusername, neelamthadhani, djdrama, urbanwyatt, badbunnypr, and 7,578,355 others

jackharlow My fiancé is THAAT chick!!!!!! Watching you perform two times and seeing you win all the categories you were nominated in, it’s such a great moment. My baby did the damn thing and I’m beyond proud of her. We’re only going up from here!!!! I love you baby.

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urbanwyatt 📸 By me duhhh 🙄

yourusername Thank you Urby ❤️

yourusername Thank you bubs 🥺🫶🏻 having you and the fam with me tonight, it was extra special. I love you.

djdrama There she is 🔥 🔥 congratulations 🍾

neelamthadhani That’s right!!!! Congrats sexy mama 🙌🏼

champagnepapi Wifey is a beast 🔥

jackharlow She really is.

yourusername ☺️ 🙈

•

Liked by yourusername, claybornharlow, neelamthadhani, urbanwyatt, and 9,567,345 others

jackharlow Celebrating her ☺️❤️ I can’t wait to marry you yourusername

View all 1,800 comments

yourusername Bubs 🥺 te amoooo 🫶🏻 por vida 🙈🤪

yourusername I can’t wait to have babies with you.

jackharlow We can definitely start now, you know practice 😜

yourusername I can’t say no to that… omw 🏃🏻‍♀️

claybornharlow Get to it then because mom said there’s not even any planning going on.

yourusername It’s happening soon 🤞🏼 we’re just enjoying being engaged 🤗🙈

jackharlow We actually have a meeting with the wedding planner tomorrow so we’re excited about that.

urbanwyatt FUCKING FINALLY

cozane We can start planning for bachelor party. Strip club yes or yes??

selenosunni YES

2forwoyne Duhhh

druski2funnny Is that a trick question?

champagnepapi Don’t be getting Jacky boy in trouble now 👀

jackharlow 😩😩😩

••••••••

TAG LIST

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#jack harlow #instagram au #jack harlow x you #jack harlow x yn #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x oc #jackman thomas harlow #come home the kids miss you #jack harlow fic

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thesportssoundoff · 6 years ago

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“It’s not that bad and YET” UFC Fight Night: Sacramento Preview

Joey

July 9

The show AFTER the big July PPV always tends to have some sort of bad vibes attached to it and I guess this one isn't any different. In 2016, injuries took us from Michael Chiesa vs Tony Ferguson to John Lineker vs Michael McDonald (two guys no longer in the org). In 2017, the UFC loaded up their July PPV slate and gave us Gunnar Nelson vs Santiago Ponzinibbio the week after an injury (and sinus infection) cursed card from Vegas. Last year, the UFC gave us Blagoy Ivanov vs JDS and Sage Northcutt vs Zak Ottow after Miocic vs DC. This year's card after Vegas is either good or bad depending almost solely on how you feel about the main event. Fights 2-13 are your usual garden variety Fight Night mix of intriguing and irrelevant but the main event, a clash between Germaine de Randamie and Aspen Ladd, will likely determine whether it's the worst thing ever or a totally acceptable main event. I can kind of see the two sides at play here. WMMA title fights are acceptable main and co-main events but convincing MMA's audience that there's quality outside of the title fights is often met with chuckles, snickers and some derisiveness. MMA fans work in doses and drips and so foistering this main event upon the audience even years after the rise of WMMA requires some understanding that there's a chunk of fans who won't see this as a quality headliner. Aspen Ladd to my knowledge has never been on a main card and GDR has had one fight in two years. On the other hand if one had the ability to view both fighters objectively, this is a pretty damn good fight. Headline worthy? I mean why not. It's a pseudo #1 contender fight with a former champion and a rising prospect. Seems totally acceptable to me. Either way we got thirteen fights to talk about so let's just get on with it.

Fights: 13

Debuts: Brianna Van Buren, John Allan, Wellington Turman

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 5 (John Phillips OUT, Wellington Turman IN vs Karl Roberson/Gian Villante OUT, John Allan IN vs Mike Rodriguez/Cynthia Calvillo OUT, Brianna Van Buren IN vs Livia Souza/Sara McMann OUT, Julianna Pena IN vs Nicco Montano/Martin Day OUT, Vince Morales IN vs Benito Lopez)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 8 (Urijah Faber, Josh Emmett, Beneil Dariush, Andre Fili, Julianna Pena, Nicco Montano, Darren Elkins, Cezar Mutante)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 1 (Darren Elkins)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 9 (Germaine De Randamie, Ricky Simon, Aspen Ladd, Beneil Dariush, Drakkar Klose, Mirsad Bektic, Livia Souza, Ryan Hall,Pingyuan Liu)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 24-11-2

Aspen Ladd- 3-0 Germaine de Randamie- 2-0 Urijah Faber- 0-0 Ricky Simon- 3-0 Josh Emmett- 3-2 Mirsad Bektic- 2-1 Beneil Dariush- 2-2-1 Drakkar Klose- 4-1 Karl Roberson- 2-2 Wellington Turman- 0-0 Cezar Ferreira- 2-2 Marvin Vettori- 1-1-1

Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):

Featherweight- 3 (33) Bantamweight- 3 (36) Women’s Bantamweight- 2 (12) Middleweight- 2 (23) Women’s Strawweight- 1 (19) Light Heavyweight- 1 (28) Lightweight- 1 (43)

Welterweight- (38) Heavyweight- (18) Flyweight- (8) Women’s Flyweight- (18) Women’s Featherweight- (6)

2019 Number Tracker

Debuting Fighters (18-40)- Brianna Van Buren, John Allan, Wellington Turman

Short Notice Fighters (16-25)- Brianna Van Buren, John Allan, Wellington Turman, Julianna Pena, Vince Morales

Second Fight (38-15)- Nicco Montano

Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (12-26)- Urijah Faber (I could/should put him in the debut category but Faber was never cut and so I figure he's better suited here?), Nicco Montano, Julianna Pena, Marvin Vettori, Mirsad Bektic

Undefeated Fighters (25-27)- Aspen Ladd

Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (9-8)-

Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (17-16)- Nicco Montano, Ryan Hall, Karl Roberson

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- It's only fair to start with what can only be described as an experiment of sorts by the UFC. We currently have on the calendar four WMMA main events and rumors of a 5th (I've heard some rumblings about Rose vs Nina Ansaroff in the late Fall) is out there. The UFC is clearly giving us more WMMA main events and taking some chances in the process. Part of this is clearly an ESPN design; you give them four shows a month more or less and you're less concerned about popping a number on a digital platform. The scheduling and the assembly line of "See UFC product, get UFC product" on ESPN+ allows you to be a bit more flexible. It's kinda cool that in a span of four weeks, we've gotten a massive HW fight, a big UFC PPV, this show with a credible WMMA main event and then a pretty solid San Antonio main event with RDA vs Leon Edwards. We get a little bit of everything and I'm glad Ladd vs GDR occupies a part of that. With less of an expectation to do a one off rating (Ladd vs GDR probably would've been the lowest rated show on FS1) then I hope we see more credible WMMA main events. In a vacuum, I'd rather see two top 5 fighters at strawweight headline an event than two big doughy guys at LHW or HW just because we're afraid the audience might not like it.

2- At the same time I have zero problems admitting GDR vs Aspen Ladd as a main event wasn't making me want to rush out and buy a ticket if it was in my town. The more I think about it though. the more intrigued I am about it. Maybe it's just the "it's coming to get excited!" aspect of an approaching card or what but I'm genuinely excited by this main event. Maybe it's because GDR could either be Amanda Nunes' next opponent or the ultimate 'Whatever happened to?" story. Germaine de Randamie's title shot was somewhat circumstantial at best but be it by hook or by crook, she DID win the UFC's first ever featherweight title. After pulling out of fights on and off for three straight years (and with wins over Anna Elmose and Larissa Pacheco of all people), Germaine was ushered into a fight with Holly Holm in a makeshift main event. She won the first three rounds in my estimation, lost the final two and in a fair and just world, probably loses the fight with points deducted for repeated shots after the bell in rounds 1 and 2. We don't live in an alternate universe, we live in a current reality and SO de Randamie beat Holm on points to become champ. What happened then? Well....de Randamie copped to a hand injury after the fact, hinting she wouldn't fight Cyborg. She came out a bit later and said she wouldn't fight Cyborg because Cyborg was a PED user. She was stripped of the belt, hinted at retiring, came back, got hurt, hinted at retirement some more and then finally returned in a one sided breeze vs Rocky Pennington. The point of all that is to say that GDR is either about to break out into the best version of herself with a dominant win over Aspen Ladd or she's going to just disappear for two years after this fight.

3- Is Aspen Ladd more or less rushed than when Sara McMann got a title shot off of beating Shayna Baszler and Sheila Gaff? Ladd's got some credible wins but she's still super green and like a lot of green WMMA prospects, she pretty much gets by on her ability to be aggressive and dogged in firefights. Offensively though she's so much fun to watch. This fight in tight with GDR's crisp powerful boxing vs Ladd's aggression, pressure and fearlessness could be a real treat. Also let's not forget that Ladd absolutely has the strength to just bowl over GDR the way Nunes did as well.

4- Fun question; would you prefer the winner of this fight vs Amanda Nunes at bantamweight or up 10 lbs at featherweight?

5- The total lack of hype from the UFC on the return of Urijah Faber almost makes it feel like they're embarrassed he's even trying this.

6- Karl Roberson's UFC run thus far has been pretty easy to figure out. He's had four fights and gone 2-2 with an easy enough pattern; guy gets him down? He gets subbed. Guy doesn't? He wins. He subbed Darren Stewart which is still a pretty impressive win in hindsight and beat up on Jack Marshman in November. He took a really short notice fight vs Glover Teixeira in January and was beating the shit out of him before Glover did as he do; got on top and subbed him out in the first round. Roberson gets the debuting Wellington Turman and it's going to be an interesting test to see if he can avoid getting taken down against a guy making his debut on short notice. I still think Roberson has high upside and is more or less a victim of some unfair rough matchmaking.

7- Julianna Pena is back after taking a year and change off and it's surprising just how little fanfare her return is getting. Pena's last fight was on Fox in the headline spot vs Valentina Shevchenko in a fight she lost by armbar in the second round. Before that though, she had beaten the likes of Jessica Eye and Cat Zingano and looked to be on her way to maybe becoming something in the post Rousey landscape. The fact she's sort of just slipped into the picture as a late notice replacement for a filler prelim fight is so weird. Pena is just 29 and even if her striking was really rough to watch, she's the sort of fighter who has enough in her arsenal as a strong (yet clunky) wrestler that I can't rule her out in what remains at 135 lbs. We've seen the likes of Rocky Pennington get title shots and Nunes is close to cleaning out the division so maybe Pena (or even her opponent Nicco Montano) has a shot at creeping back up in the title picture quickly.

8- Casual reminder that Nicco Montano was the first ever UFC women's flyweight champ. Kinda gets forgotten given how things played out with her.

9- So are we officially off the Mirsad Bektic hype train now?

10- Ryan Hall vs Darren Elkins is such a weirdo fight on paper that I can't help but want to see how it plays out. At the very least we know (hope) Elkins won't take any significant damage via strikes.

11- Sheymon Moraes vs Andre Fili is a really good fight that almost feels misplaced as a prelim fodder fight but will be worth your time if you search it out. A damn good fight between two solid mid level FWs.

12- Does any card better encapsulate the collapse of TAM like this one does?

#MMA #UFC #GDR #Aspen Ladd

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extraterrestreilegal · 5 years ago

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Chapter I

Growing up is an adventure all on its own. You are your own person so you feel like you are who you are meant to be. Aside from all the confusion that goes along with growing up, we grow up into the version of ourselves that we hope will take us to the life we want to be living. But what happens when everything you once thought was right, turns out to be wrong? What happens when a boy grows up fearing not only the world, but himself. Of what he could become… of his potential. It was 2002 and I was only five year’s old. A year after tragedy struck the United States of America by the hand of Osama bin Laden, I found myself at Benito Juaréz Aeropuerto International in the heart of Mexico City, Mexico, my home.

My mother told us that our father was coming home. Being five year’s old, I didn’t understand where he had been. Growing up I always heard the story of how my brother and I cried when the world trade center was struck. Not because our father was there, but because we didn’t know where he was and all we knew he was in America. So we cried because we thought our father was gone. My mother would say she calmed us down and told us he was safe. But I remember not believing it until I saw him at the airport. I remember feeling relief at the sight of his face. But the thing was, I didn’t recognize the man who was towering over me when he walked up to us at the airport. I only felt excitement and a sense of what was going on because my older brother, Alex, ran up to him, cried, and hugged him. I rarely remember this day, but I remember the feelings I felt. I remember confusion of why I was hugging this man. I didn’t recognize him, but my brother called him dad. So it must be him.

Though my mind was young and I only have flashes of memories left in me, I remember a few days later my mother and grandmother were arguing. My grandfather was upset and I couldn’t quite understand why. But I knew there must be either something wrong because I hadn’t seen them argue a lot since my father had left. A few days later, we’re packing backpacks with 2 pairs of clothes, some water, snacks, etc. Me being a child, I remember feeling excited. We only did these things when we were going to the beach, or on a family trip. Except this time, it was only my mother, father, and Alex that were going to go on a permanent trip to America. I felt sad because I remember wanting the rest of my family to come, I grew up always going on family trips with everyone. But not this time. This time, it felt more quiet. Like there was something else going on, but I was young. So I went along with it until I found my mom looking at our house in the city that my grandfather had built for us. I saw a look in her eyes that I can’t ever forget. It was the sight of hope. I always knew my mother was a strong woman. But neither her or I had any idea of what seeing our home for the last time, would do to us. It was the last time I saw that in her eyes, and I would always remember how I felt. Hopeful.

Driving through Mexico City in the mornings always felt like a day dream. The view from the highest elevated roads leading down towards the city always made it feel like a rollercoaster in a movie. You knew it was a beautiful city, you knew where you were going, it was the center of Mexico, I never understood why we’d ever want to leave it. After overhearing my grandfather talking to my parents, I started realizing that it might be the last time I would ever get to see my city. I hesitantly asked my grandfather if my brother and I could ride in the hatch of his truck. He smiled, stopped the truck, and let us hop in the back. Looking into the distance, we could see the sun rising over the beautiful city we called home. Fiery reds, deep violets, and plush pink streaks filled the sky. I remember feeling scared and happy at the same time. I couldn’t explain it then, but deep down I felt uncertain.

About an hour had gone by since we left the city limits. We were in the middle of no where. The sun was beating on our faces as we arrived to what appeared to be an abandoned house. Shortly after our arrival, another vehicle pulled up next to us and out came two American women. Cheerful and ecstatic, they came up to our car and knocked on the window and asked in Spanish, “Hi, I’m Sarah and this is Karrah, I was just wondering if you guys are the one’s we’re supposed to be meeting here to *whispers* take us to America?” My father smiled and explained to them that we ourselves were going to be taken there as well. After a brief conversation, what appeared to be a moving truck was heading towards us in the distance. It pulled up in front of our parked vehicles and out came two men. The men were carrying guns and I think it scared my mother because she grabbed my brother and I and pushed us behind her. One introduced himself to the grown up’s as Enrique, and the other as Humberto. Enrique was carrying a hand gun at his waist and Humberto climbed out of the passenger side carrying an automatic rifle proudly in his grip.

After awkwardly standing behind my mother for a few minutes, it must have been time to go because my mother started saying goodbye to our grandfather as tears streamed down her face. After we said our goodbyes, we were led by Humberto to the back of the moving truck. Once the truck’s back doors flung open, I caught a whiff of what must have been a skunk because it sure smelled like it, except with a more earthy undertone. As I’m trying to figure out what the smell is, Sarah, one of the American’s, yelled out, “Holy shit! That’s a lot of pot! I thought I’d seen a lot in my life but never that much! How much is that?! Easily a ton I bet!”

Enrique came around the corner laughing at her and said, “Two tons to be exact! You didn’t think you guys were our only shipment this week did you?”

Full of enthusiasm, Sarah and Karrah climbed into the back of the truck and laid down on top of the bags of this “pot”. Then my family followed one by one. Everyone except my grandfather, who was sitting in his car waiting for the back doors to close on his daughter and her family.

As the doors closed on the what feels like the last memory I have in Mexico, two lights flickered on. It was Sarah and Karrah looking through their bags for water because they looked like they were ready to faint. I do give them credit for bringing flashlights because we really couldn’t see anything except the low sun light peaking through the door’s hinges. As the day went on, we were getting really exhausted from sitting down for so long, so I fell asleep in my mother’s arms. When I woke up, it was dark and all I could hear was Sarah and Karah talking in English. I climbed towards them and I said the only English word I knew, “Hi.”

They smiled and started talking to me in Spanish. They asked me what my name was, where I was from, what I liked to do for fun there, basic things. Then I asked them, “Why are you going to America if you’re American? Isn’t that where American’s are at?”

With a slight smile and warm voice, Sarah started to explain to me how they ended up in that truck with us. Now remember, this was 2002, shortly before the one year anniversary of 9/11. What happened was they were on vacation in Puerto Vallarta. They were out partying with some locals a few days before, one thing led to another, and they woke up with their belongings missing. Including their passports. Which normally would be an easy fix for Americans, they’d simply go to the United States’ Embassy and get a new one. But this was the year after the world trade center was destroyed by an extremist organization. The United States of America were taking such high precaution’s (with good reason), on who was coming in and out of their country. For unknown reasons though, the girl’s were flagged and were not permitted to renew their passport at the embassy after showing all the proper documents. So out of frustration after multiple visits to their embassy, they decided the only way they were going home was the illegal way. They had made friends in Puerto Vallarta and they set out looking for anyone who could help them “hop the border” as they put it. Eventually they spoke to the right people, got their parents to send them the amount of money needed for the service, and that led them to the back of the truck we were currently sitting in.

Shortly after they explained to me their story, everyone else started waking up. I had no idea what time it was, I just knew I had been up talking to Sarah and Karrah for a few minutes. Once my mother finally woke up, she gave my brother and I light snacks to munch on. We sat there for a while just talking amongst ourselves and then all of a sudden we heard the truck coming to a stop. We all seemed confused because we had been sitting in the back of a truck full of pot, in the dark, with two men who were driving it around with guns. We heard footsteps approaching the back and as soon as the doors flung open, we saw a dark blood red sky filling the scenery with Humberto standing there to help us out of the truck. It must’ve be sunrise because they told us it would be safe right there to stretch our legs and walk around cause we had a long day ahead of us. My parents first got off and they helped my brother and I off. After a few minutes of looking around at nothing but dirt, Sarah and Karrah got curious and asked my parents if it was okay if they took my brother and I on a short walk. Hesitantly but surely, my parents allowed us to go. Before we went on our walk, I remember my mother telling Alex to be careful and to keep an eye on me. He agreed, and then we ran towards Sarah and Karrah who were a few feet away.

As we were making our way around the desert, we decided to go over a hill that was in the near distance to see if we could see anything else if we got up higher. As we were climbing, we could see the beauty the stillness of the desert brought to our sight. Taking in the view, we noticed there was a seemingly abandoned building at the other side of the hill. Out of curiosity, we slowly made our way to what we soon discovered was an abandoned car shop. I remember being fascinated by how this structure was still standing despite all it’s flaws. The way the blood red sky peeked through the cracks showed me how beauty could be found in the darkest and scariest of places. As we made our way around the building, we saw a statue of a saint in the distance. It looked like a massive one so we made our way towards it. Sarah and Karrah were talking amongst themselves. But Alex and I eventually stopped and they bumped into us about 20 feet in front of the statue. Confused they asked us what was wrong, and then they heard what we were hearing. A low growl started coming from the statue. Next, ice blue eyes appeared from the top of the saint’s head, grey hair with the blood red sky reflecting off it started appearing. Without any hesitation, Sarah and Karrah each picked my brother and I up one by one and they ran with us in their arms. I remember looking back as they were running, whatever that was, it wasn’t coming for us. It seemed like it was more disturbed than anything. Eventually the eyes and fur disappeared into the distance and we were back with the others. Seeming nervous of whatever was out there, Enrique and Humberto told us to to get back in the truck. So we did hopped back in and again, we were locked in the back once again.

Hours later I remember hearing music playing and people talking outside of the truck. We eventually heard the truck come to a stop and again, footsteps approaching the truck. This time when Humberto opened the truck, the scent of carne asada filled our nostrils. The sound of banda music playing burst through my ears. It was as if I was back home, only I wasn’t. Once we made it out of the truck, Sarah and Karrah smiled and told us, “Welcome to America! Enjoy your stay!” And that’s when I knew, I was no longer in Mexico. I was no longer home. And that was the last time I would ever see Sarah and Karrah again. I hope they made it home okay.

#illegal #alien #extraterrestre #ilegal #undocumented immigrants #undocumented

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benito-cereno · 7 years ago

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The Haunting of Netflix House 5: The Netflix Dimension

What’s up Octobocops, it’s Halloweason. Let’s get spooked. Here are some movies of the horror and horror-adjacent genres that you might watch by yourself or with a party of friends or with the spirit of a long-deceased duke who lives in inhabits your house. This is part five; you know the goddamn drill by now.

Previously, on The Haunting of Netflix House:

2013: The Haunting of Netflix House

2014: The Haunting of Netflix House 2: Your Sister is a Netflix

2015: The Haunting of Netflix House 3: The Season of the Netflix

2016: The Haunting of Netflix House 4: The Netflix Master

A couple of notes for those who are new to the list:

This is being posted on October 2, 2017. For humans of the future who find this, the links may not all be up to date. Some might even expire by November 2017. Click at your own risk.

I try to offer both breadth and depth of options on this list, but it is by no means exhaustive. I’m sorry if a favorite of yours got left off. There’s a chance I just haven’t seen it yet. Feel free to reblog and add some of your favorites, but please make sure a movie is actually currently available on Netflix before jumping my shit about some nonsense I “forgot,” please and thank you.

This list is based upon movies that are available on Netflix in the US. I have no idea what is streaming on Canadian Netflix or British Netflix or Slovenian Netflix. How would I know this. Why would I know this. Please do not expect me to know this. Feel free to be the Canadian/British/Slovenian Benito and make your own list applicable to your own countryhumans.

Horror movies, by their nature, have horrific things in them. Most of these movies are violent; lots of them deal with torture, abuse, and mental illness. If some element of this jumps out to me while I’m writing these up, I’ll mention them, but if you are sensitive to or have issues with certain types of content, you might look an individual movie up on Common Sense Media first to check for content warnings.

While there are always good horror movies to be found on Netflix, if you really like scary movies, you should just get a Shudder subscription (or even just the free trial!). It has an unbeatable, well-curated selection.

All right let’s get to the goddamn movies what say

Classics (this section seems to get smaller every year):

Jaws (this is about a shark)

The Fly (the Vincent Price version, not the Jeff Goldblum one)

Gremlins (technically a Christmas movie, obviously, but maybe you’re a rebel)

The Sixth Sense (is this a classic? I mean probably your mom has heard of it, so)

Horror Comedies:

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (highly recommended)

Little Evil (new from the maker of Tucker and Dale; great cast; more than the Omen spoof it looks like; recommended)

Troll Hunter (not horror in the traditional sense; not a “Halloween” monster; found footage style; subtitled; awesome)

Young Frankenstein (maybe you’ve heard of this one)

The Host (subtitled; not a “Halloween” monster)

Ravenous (fucking rules)

Housebound (recommended)

Patchwork (in the vein of like Re-Animator and Frankenhooker)

Deathgasm (the best the best the best; watch immediately)

The Bar

Haunted House/Ghost shit:

The Awakening

The Pact (recommended)

The Babadook (highest possible recommendation; how have you not watched this yet)

Under the Shadow (recommended; basically the Iranian Babadook)

The Canal

We Are Still Here (Barbara Crampton is in this; her name will be mentioned a few more times on this list because she is apparently a major selling point for some people)

Last Shift (haunted police station; recommended)

The Legend of Hell House (love this one; love Roddy McDowall)

I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (very slow paced but atmospheric)

Coraline (yeah, the scary stop-motion one)

Vampire shit:

Stake Land (non-traditional vampire rules; not really my jam but some people love it; no idea if the sequel is good)

Byzantium

Night Watch

Werewolf shit:

Late Phases (old blind guy vs werewolves; pretty good)

When Animals Dream (hit some similar thematic notes to Ginger Snaps, but completely different tonally; subtitled)

Zombie shit:

Train to Busan (this rules; subtitled)

Witch/Demon/Pagan shit:

At the Devil’s Door (from the maker of The Pact; not as good, still interesting)

The Void (Lovecraftian cult shit; very cool visuals and practical effects)

Baskin (subtitled; super gory; also, the protags are asshole cops who tell transphobic stories and say homophobic slurs and talk about bestiality at the beginning, so heads up; worth a watch if that doesn’t bother you)

The Devil’s Candy

Hellions (this is not *great,* but it looks good and is heavily Halloweeny)

The Wailing (fucking amazing; subtitled)

Found footage shit:

V/H/S (lots of sex, violence, and sexualized violence

V/H/S/2 (same)

V/H/S Viral (same but in a different way)

The Den (ChatRoulette the horror movie; highly highly highly recommended)

Creep (recommended)

They’re Watching (not super amazing, but it’s wild af and I kind of love it; what if House Hunters International renovated a witch house?)

Man Vs (pretty okay)

Slasher shit (needless to say, these are gory):

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Curse of Chucky (way better than you think it is)

Clown (the haunted clown suit movie so good that Marvel said, “Yo, this guy should be in charge of Spider-Man”)

The Windmill (it’ll do fine if you’re just looking for a new slasher; tbf it is probably the best windmill-themed slasher ever made though)

Other shit:

Monsters (really good; not “Halloween” monsters)

It Follows (hey, what’s up, it’s the best horror movie of the past decade; highest possible rec)

Sleepy Hollow (what section do Headless Horsemen go in? Dunno; the movie not the show)

The House at the End of Time (highly recommended; subtitled)

Honeymoon

Starry Eyes

White God (DOG REVENGE)

They Look Like People (this is a slow burn, but super highly recommended)

Extraordinary Tales (animated anthology of Edgar Allan Poe stories narrated by famous people; a mixed bag, but cool)

Darling (okay, so: this is a really beautiful and atmospheric film that I, generally speaking, recommend; however, it is kind of “artsy,” there is not a lot of dialogue, it is in black and white, there are some light strobing effects, rape does not occur on screen but is implied to have happened in a character’s past)

The Hallow (scary fairies)

Tales of Halloween (an anthology, so a mixed bag; okay overall, but it’s definitely Halloween-y)

The Invitation (highest possible recommendation)

Beyond the Gates (I actually did not like this very much, but some people might find it interesting, especially if you like--wait for it--Barbara Crampton)

Turbo Kid (this is not really horror, but if you like horror, especially splatter stuff, you will probably like it; it is good as shit)

Gerald’s Game (new shit from Mike Flanagan and it’s really great. Deals with lots of hard issues like abuse and such so maybe take a look at content issues if you are sensitive to that kind of stuff. Also definitely not for the squeamish, so head’s up. That said, it’s really really good)

80s/90s shit:

Hellraiser (not my style, but maybe you like this stuff, iunno)

Children of the Corn

The Craft

Non-Supernatural Thriller/Violence shit (these are violent):

Hush (Mike Flanagan directs; home invasion with a deaf woman protagonist; fucking rules)

The Silenced (haven’t actually watched this yet, but it looks good; don’t *think* it’s supernatural?; presumably subtitled)

The Eyes of My Mother (black and white; super bleak; beautiful and highly recommended)

Kristy

Dig Two Graves

We Need to Talk About Kevin (very bleak)

The Bad Batch (from the director of A Girl Walks Home Etc; only kind of horror-adjacent; Jason Momoa and Keanu Reeves are in this)

Sun Choke (visually beautiful but super art-housey, also lots of mental illness and abuse stuff in this one; also *Barbara Crampton*)

Zodiac (biography of Ted Cruz)

I Don’t Feel at Home in this World Anymore (so fucking good; very funny also)

Nightcrawler (basically a vampire movie, but with a camera instead of fangs)

Horror and Horror-Adjacent Documentaries (all the good horror docs got moved to Shudder):

The Nightmare (a doc on sleep paralysis and night terrors that is so-so as a documentary, but super effective as a horror film)

Witches: A Century of Murder (history of British witch trials, reenacted; two parts)

“But, Benito!” I hear you cry. “I don’t have Netflix for some reason! What about some other streaming services?” Yeah, all right. Here are some quick hits that are definitely not exhaustive. Just a couple of party jams you might enjoy if you’ve burned through the Netflix list.

What’s on Hulu though

10 Cloverfield Lane

Monster Squad

Fright Night (the original; a must watch if you haven’t seen it)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

From Dusk Til Dawn

An American Werewolf in London

Hatchet

Pumpkinhead (check this one out if you haven’t seen it)

The Blob

I Saw the Devil (amazing)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (either version)

Shaun of the Dead

The Loved Ones

Wolfcop

The Thing

Rigor Mortis

Borgman

The Descent

Bloodsucking Bastards

Willow Creek

Berberian Sound Studio

Plus a bunch of shit that’s also on Netflix

What about Amazon Prime you idiot

The Girl with All the Gifts

Them (not Them!)

The Witch

Hell House LLC

Neon Demon

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Nosferatu

Green Room

Little Shop of Horrors (the Corman one, not the musical)

The Blackcoat’s Daughter

The Bay

Society

The Last Man on Earth

The Last Exorcism

What We Do in the Shadows

Amazon Prime is hard to navigate so that’s all. If I left off a favorite, it’s not because I don’t like it. It’s because it didn’t pop up in the first 20 pages of search results.

Tell me some good Shudder ones

The Innkeepers

A Tale of Two Sisters

The Gorgon

Lake Bodom

Prevenge

All the Phantasms (maybe not Ravager)

Shrew’s Nest

Noroi: The Curse

The House of the Devil

Black Sunday

Let the Right One In

Murder Party (highly recommended, esp for Halloween)

WNUF Halloween Special

Ghostwatch (play this at your party if you want to fucking win Halloween)

This list could be a million more entries long. Shudder rules.

What about Crackle/Vudu/YouTube/etc

Please shut up

As usual, please do me a solid and only circulate the current version of the list, so people aren’t clicking on dead links and thinking I’m an idiot. Again, this list is not and could not be completely exhaustive, and if I left off your favorite movie, I swear I was not targeting you personally. And, again, some of these movies are more interesting than they are good AND horror is a highly subjective experience, so your mileage may vary on some of these.

If you enjoyed this list, perhaps consider checking out some of my other Halloween-related posts:

a primer for spooky stories

a primer for Lovecraft specifically

a list of “essential” horror movies

a list of “essential” silent horror movies

a list of “essential” horror comedies

a list of suggested horror double features

a primer for Hammer horror

a list of cool movies starring Christopher Lee and Vincent Price

this list of resources, including short films and even more scary movies

a suggested Halloween playlist

a primer for spooky classical music

the scariest 20 minutes in radio history

free to play spooky games

and my general Halloween tag, which includes short films, movie trailers, comics, stories, and more

Also maybe consider checking out my Letterboxd profile, where I rate and review movies of all types (but primarily horror) all year long and from all sorts of sources, in case you’re wondering what’s good on more than just Netflix. Also also, maybe take a look at some of my comics, several of which are appropriate for Halloween times.

Happy Halloween, nerds!

#halloween #long post #netflix #horror movies #horror #hulu #amazon prime #shudder #the haunting of netflix house

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