#did we fall into samurai jack?

[flannelepicurean]

OH MY JIMBLES MCGLIMBLES U GUIYGZZZ.

STOP.

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

I just had another idea in the whole Samurai Bravo headcanon set of ideas that I'm having on account of A Dream I Had, and honeybees, it is a doozy.

Okay. So. We all know Johnny took Jack on the not-a-date to the sushi place that was well-intentioned but kind of a bust. And we KNOW that Johnny took Jack on that "let's go to the beach and get corndogs" thing to course correct. And we KNOW that Jack did the whole, "I'm do something nice for you, too, I'm gonna cook you some actual Japanese food," thing and started to fall a little bit in love, even though he didn't actually know that's what it was, yet. Flashback to this whole set, okay? But friends.

FRIENDS.

When Jack starts to have an inkling about his own feelings...

He remembers Johnny's whole "king of the jungle" motif thing and somehow PORTALS HIM TO A FUCKING JUNGLE WORLD SO THEY CAN SWING ON SOME VINES LIKE FUCKING TARZAN.

He lets Johnny piggyback on him for a while till Johnny gets the hang of it (Jack is not blushing, not at all, not even a little bit). And then they are OFF. Wildin' out. Johnny's sheer fucking ✨GLEE✨ is both precious and infectious, they are having a blast.

Jack starts feeling a little goofy for this dude. JACK SAVES HIM FROM SOME ROBOTS! Johnny gets to see JACK be super lightning fast and badass, and his big ol' king gorilla heart does the Monkey, and the voice inside his sunglasses goes, "Saaayyy... I think I wanna swing with this fella a little more often."

And THAT'S when he starts subconsciously doing all that biz that makes that little red-haired girl eventually point out that he's actually turned into Real Boyfriend Material, but he's pointed it all in the direction of that nice guy from out of town who goes all sweet like mochi when Johnny's not looking DIRECTLY at him, and boy howdy, they sure do hang out a lot.

[crystallizedday]

Quest – Rekindled (Part 1 of 5)

Level 31 – Easy

How did he end up like this?

Demongo rested atop one of these many KND-branded crates, letting his legs swing aimlessly as he surveyed the rest of the Huntor’s Crest campsite. For weeks, the only company he had were the various monkey minions that decided to make this area their little shelter, a sanctuary safe from the prying eyes of those DexLabs dolts. At the time, Demongo felt genuine relief to be in the company of those who saw him as a “fellow villain” rather than someone to apprehend or destroy.

Ugh…

He should have figured this place would be discovered eventually and by that accursed samurai as well.

As much as he appreciated not having his head immediately chopped off his shoulders, Demongo still felt disheartened to form such an uneasy alliance with these so-called “heroes.” Before he knew it, several SACT agents had made themselves comfortable at the campsite, setting up shops for any young soldiers in need of supplies. Of course, this attracted plenty of those irritating teenage nuisances, and now Demongo had to deal with them on the daily.

The demon was almost disappointed the samurai did not end him when he had the chance, because he could not stand having these children constantly come to him for something to do or to act as mindless messengers for Jack.

To see literal children gaze upon his weakened state with amusement or pity made Demongo so unbelievably enraged, even if he could not express it without raising concern from his “peers.” Sure, he still adorned his flowing cape, and he had just enough power to manifest the skulls that decorated his body. Even so, it was obvious something was wrong with how his usual burning blue flame had almost completely died out. Only a small tint of blue could be seen from the wave of smoke emitting from his head.

He felt colder

Weaker

Vulnerable

And he hated it.

Hopefully, it would not be long until his doppelgänger is finally caught and destroyed. He could not wait to regain his powers, retreat from this place, and never have to deal with these insufferable meat bags ever again. He relished the thought of soaring the skies again, finally free of this humiliation and torture.

He just needed to wait a little longer, surely…

He flinched as he heard footsteps coming his way, almost falling off the crate below him. He turned, relaxing as soon as he saw where those footsteps came from.

It was one of the soldiers… sort of.

This one was certainly no squabbling brat like the others. He was much older, and rather burly too. Faint scars adored his face, yet his expression remained patient and relaxed. In his arms were two pairs of large insect wings, the chitin festering with fusion matter.

The human let out a quiet chuckle. “And I thought the mosquitos from the Wilds were bad enough. It’s a miracle these things haven’t caused you guys any problems so far.”

Demongo was silent, not expecting this mere soldier to start such a casual conversation with him. He readjusted himself, crossing his legs and resting his hands in his lap. “Well, from my observations, these monsters are more territorial than anything. As long as we do not directly disturb them, they will have no reason to attack this camp.”

The human looked intrigued by that fact. “Huh. You know, that actually explains a lot. What else do you know about these things?”

Demongo smirked, amused by that question. “Oh, now where is the fun in telling you everything? It is much more satisfying seeing you humans learn how formidable these beasts are the hard way.” He snickered to himself.

The human did not seem to care about that remark. “Naw, I don’t wanna know that stuff for combat reasons.” He set the wings aside, letting them rest on top of one of the other crates. “I just like learning neat facts.”

Demongo rested his chin against the back of his hand. “Sure, you do…”

The human brushed any excess fusion matter off his arm sleeves. “It’s a good thing these suits protect against this stuff. I’ve seen what this ooze can do to a person. It is not pretty.” He crossed his arms. “By the way, how are you going to use those wings to fly? I’m not sure if handling that stuff is all that safe.”

Demongo pouted. “I’m insulted you think a being like me would be affected by this material. As a creature of fire, no toxins can harm me. Besides, fusion matter itself has unique properties I can harness. I am sure you have seen how large objects coated in this substance tend to float or sway in the air.”

“Huh,” the human uttered. “I always thought that was just… magic or something.”

“HAH!!” The demon shook his head. “I know magic when I see it. What you see in those infected zones is not magic. This substance is alien, unbound by any laws or science that dictate the properties of everything on this planet. It is no wonder that one so-called genius of a child sought my assistance in researching this material. Such a narrow-minded fool.”

The human thought to himself for a moment, lightly tapping his chin. His expression quickly lit up. “Ah! Is that why nanos float too?”

Demongo lightly clapped, his sarcastic demeanor still very much apparent. “Very good, human! You can make basic logical inferences! How impressive!”

The human was completely unfazed by the demon’s attempts to belittle him. “Huh. That’s pretty neat! That definitely explains why those skull bashers right next door from here can just nonchalantly float like they do. I always wondered how that worked. I’m guessing it’s the same for these wings?” He gestured to the insect wings he had placed down earlier.

To say Demongo was baffled to see such a blatant insult not even bother this human in the slightest would be an understatement. He had to ask. “How are you unbothered?! It is genuinely off-putting.”

The human just shrugged. “Eh. I’ve worked with a lot of villains during this whole invasion. Insults are kind of just how a lot of them communicate, probably because they can’t stomach being forced to work with others. I get it. Besides, as long as they’re not planning on hurting anyone, they all deserve some help now and again, like you.”

Demongo was at a loss for words. He could not understand why a human would go out of their way to help some of the most infamous criminals in the entire continent.

The human smirked, his tone shifting to match the demon’s snarky behavior from earlier. “Thought I was helping you just for the money and fusion matter, huh?”

“I…” Demongo tried to utter a rebuttal but could not think of anything clever to say. What could he say? The human already proved spouting any insult would simply be futile. He also did not seem to be as stupid as the demon once assumed judging from that drastic shift in tone. Why was he doing this? What could he possibly gain for this?

The demon had so many questions but ultimately chose one to commit to.

“What is your name?”

The human beamed, excited to answer. “I’m Damien! Damien Aster!” He held out his hand as a friendly gesture. “I already know about you, so there’s no need for an introduction unless you wanna do one.”

Demongo stared at Damien’s hand for a moment. He scoffed, crossing his arms. “Well, I sure hope you would know who I am! I have made quite the name for myself!” He stood, snatching up the large insect wings from one of the nearby crates Damien originally placed them on. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have much work to do. These wings need some extensive modifications if I am to use them.”

Damien nodded. “That’s fair. If you need anything else, I’m always happy to help!”

Demongo clung to the wings just a little bit tighter. “I shall… keep that in mind. I have left the promised taros and fusion matter by the crate I rested on if you still wish to take them.”

Damien waved a dismissive hand at that offer. “Naw. Keep them. I’m good on taros anyway, and I’m in no rush to get any fusion matter for myself.” He turned, walking off toward the Firepits east of the campsite. “See you soon!” He dismounted what looked to be a fuse dissipator rifle from his back holster, readying it for whatever would greet him in the Firepits.

Demongo watched Damien walk away, pondering to himself about everything the human told him. He still had so many questions…

Bah!

He could afford to worry about all that nonsense later. He had work to do! These wings were not going to reconfigure themselves after all. He walked over to one of the many tents at the campsite, swiftly entering it so he could get to work right away.

He hoped these efforts would be worth it.

[bengiyo]

Be My Favorite Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

I barely remember last week because I was so put off by Kawi’s mom using her queer employees to surveil her own son. Kawi managed to get Pear’s (hopefully not alcoholic) father to take care of his dad, and managed to reconcile with Pear about running out. He also reconciled with Pisaeng for being mad that he was just trying to help. Kawi also drunkenly kissed Pisaeng, but at least feels safe enough around him now to let Pisaeng change him and fall asleep in his bed. Pisaeng also heard Kawi mumbling about being a time traveler in his sleep.  

I like Pisaeng a lot. I like how he’s building a regular friendship with Kawi, and not letting Kawi spin out about the drunken kiss.

Max is a real one. He got a single text about the surgery and immediately replied that he was heading to the hospital after work.

Oh, man. So Kawi only message Max. Pisaeng arrived on his own, was asked to stay, and messaged Pear. Pear opted not to go because she feels like she’d be unhelpful. CRUSHED.

I’m really enjoying the time travel plot, because there’s something absolutely incredible about him thinking he’d solved all of his problems and then failing to return to the present.

Never mind. Clowned on instantly and now we’re missing Pisaeng context.

I’m sure they’re going to make me unhappy about the present, but Max looks good so I’m going to take what I can get.

Well, it wouldn’t be a GMMTV project without a whole singing number.

Max is not amused with Kawi these days.

His hands shake when he doesn’t drink? Um...sir…

Oh, time travel. Kawi not being able to save his dad is going to hurt me.

Pear is marrying Not? I hope he got better.

Interesting. Kawi is getting flashes in the present to remember some moments in the timeline.

Damn, does everyone know that Kawi is an alcoholic now?

Oh, good. Kwan is around. Please tell us wtf is going on.

Oh, no. Is Kwan crying about Not?

She is crying about Not! Come on, girl.

PEAR IS PREGNANT! PAIN!!

This fight is fascinating. Kawi as an entertainer can’t be publicly attached to someone. Wonder how many of the GMMTV actors and talents feel bitter about that, especially with the harassment their partners have received over the years.

I’m with Max. You should protect other gays from “straight” boys who keep playing with their feelings.

Okay, I really hate Pisaeng’s travel trailer. Why is the door not under the awning? This is terrible for sheltering against rain.

The camera crew said, “Yeah, we’re not getting in that water with them.”

Gawin has a great smile.

Okay, the interior layout of the trailer is fine, but where is Pisaeng’s truck? How did he even get this here, and where does he go for supplies?

It feels like Pisaeng has severed ties with his mom, but I feel kinda sad that he’s living as a hermit.

Okay, Kawi, you’re gonna have to stop kissing this man.

I feel personally attacked by Pisaeng for holding onto these feelings for so long.

Oh, lord. Now he’s gonna head back and date Pisaeng?? Y’all.

This episode was sad. Kawi is a drunk who has ruined every relationship in his life. Everyone he cares about seems to have had worse outcomes for their association with him. Only Pisaeng seemed moderately okay, but he seems like he’s chosen his own form of isolation. We need to get back to the past, Samurai Jack!!

[tfw-no-tennis]

one piece liveblog 807-810

yayyy

807!!

them just cutting to a feast and still not telling us what happened to sanji 👀👀 like I know what happened to sanji but its still juicy af

BROOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok brook legit has one of the best character designs in one piece (and that's saying a lot w/the competition), simply can't be beat

still w/the sanji remarks...the drama!!!!!!!!!!

everyone is accounted for EXCEPT sanji

HAHAHA the super foreboding 'corpse' wanda mentioned was just brook lmfao

hahahaha and the dog minks love brook, of course. and zoro is just like Tell Me Less Please.

law just fucking off to the forest lmao mood

oooohohh the offscreen explanation oooohhhh

goddd I love that nami recognizes how bad the situation is - how this is actually WORSE than if sanji had Actually been physically kidnapped

but okay pretending idk where sanji went the tension is insaaaane and The Plot Thickens when u hear sanji left a note and left on purpose HMMMM so juicy

ITS ONLY BEEN 11 DAYS.....JEEEEESUS LOL

didn't dressrosa take like 5 years irl lmfao

flashback babeyyyyy

ooooh I love big moms flagship. so creepy. I love the whole 'evil-er willy wonka/disney' schtick she has going on

omfg I forgot abt caesar, just like luffy did

yeessssss I love seeing the crew fight together sooo much I wish it happened more instead of individual fights. It should be like DND where they take turns lol

namiiiii I love her and her weather powers sm

HAHAHAHA nami acting all humble but saying 'I admit, the credit's all mine' I love her SO MUCHHHH lmao

also I LOVE the rest of the straw hats hyping them up :')

chopper getting to do Dr stuff yayayayayay

nami and wanda gay asf js

OUGHGHGHGH LAW REUNITING W/HIS CREW OUGHHHHHH

also I was CONVINCED that law was doomed to die sometime after dressrosa (for multiple reasons, one being that his power is so OP lmao) so seeing this I was like OH NO HE DOESN'T HAVE LONG LEFT...lmao

I thot he'd die in wano but now that he didn't I'm like okay he's fine actually lol

oooh it's crazy to get to see all this wano-related stuff now that wano is like. actually over lol

and we still don't see what happened to sanji yet lol

chapter 808!!!

KAYA AND THE KIDS W USOPPS POSTER WWWWWWWWWWWWWW

oh shittttt jack

wow they have a lot of themes going on huh. you have the cards thing, and the mythical/prehistoric animals thing, and the 'calamities' thing. extraaa

this man is named sheepshead....that's a fish bro

gin-rummy...more card game names lol

apparently sheepshead is also a game but idk I think everyone's first thought would be Fish (

them arguing over terminology w/samurai vs ninja lmfao not the time dudes

oh shit fuck it up minks

luffy not reading the room at all and being excited that there's a mammoth hvhbajdfvshjbfbajdsdf I love him sm did u know

I love usopp and luffy's relationship sm ooooobh

HAHAHA NOOOO LUFFY JUST BLOWING BY ALL THE SUBTLTY

classic

everyone just whaling on luffy hvbjadkfbskjdfn

inuarashi!!! I was actually so confused by the english translation names lmao

caesar just fucking things up lmao

chapter 809!!

omfg inuarashi wanting to chew on brook too bc he's a dog mink lmaoooooo

'not later either!!' LMFAOOOOOOO

luffy going CAESAAAAAAAR is giving me jojo part 2 flashbacks

omg they met shanks :D

luffys like OH SHHIT MY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

inuarashi falling asleep mid convo lmao

luffy like prying his jaw open while chopper tries to stop him. classic

omg fellow nocturnals<3

flashbackkkkkk!

ooooh musketeers

inuarashi badass moments

jack's the first person we hear about w/a billion+ bounty, right??

nekomamushi fuuuuck yea

i love one piece fights ngl

chapter 810!!!

ooooh we see the baratie w/sanji's new 'only alive' wanted poster!! 'lots of questions' indeed...

jack kinda looks like axe hand morgan w/that jaw hvjddhskbjlf

oomg bepo and the heart pirates fighting for zou 😭😭😭 wuv them

damnnn they fought for 5 days

luffy just sitting on inuarashi lmao

luv that luffy is Just A Little Guy and its more and more obvious as the series progresses bc everyone starts getting larger like the story is advancing along some sort of megafauna gradient

damnnnn they're out here breaking the geneva convention

nekomamushi cursing jack as he 'dies' is dope as fuck

this is starting to feel like a christian creation myth lol. 'and on the sixth day, the devil left our lands...'

inuarashi saying that doflamingo and jack 'must be bound by some deep connection' makes it sound like they're gay married lmfao

awww luffy defeating doflamingo indirectly made jack leave and stop murdering everyone on zou, nice

OH SHIT FLASHBACK!!!! sanjis there 👀

that shot w/brook chopper nami sanji momo and caesar like lmao caesar rlly thinks he's on the team....

caesar saying 'you will rue the day!'....neville icarly moment

brook's outfits are always cool as fuuuuck

nami immediately jumping into action to help the squirrel girl <333

and telling brook to fight the guy chasing her and brook is like sure thing <3333 ilove them

brook is so fucking cool I wish he got more to do in the story. I'm glad he gets to be dope in wci

oh hi pedro! everyone looks like they've seen better days huh

damn especially inuarashi and nekomamushi...I forgot the had limbs chopped off 😬 ouch

exciting flashback developments!!!!! more to come 👀

[genlirema]

5. Anything you haven’t drawn yet but want to?

6. Which artists inspire you right now?

7. Favourite works of all time excluding your own?

5. Anything you haven’t drawn yet but want to?

Aside from the Fakemon PokeStars AU that I really want to finish (I have an entire list of Pokemon names but I’ve only finished rough sketches of the starters) I also want to see if I can draw Peppino x Anton Blast cuz head empty only Pizza Tower

(However if you do want to see more of my PokeStars AU here’s my fav starter design so far c:)

6. Which artists inspire you right now?

Technically not a visual artist but 2Mello’s music is very good for drawing & headcanon fuel highly recommend. Any soundtrack from RWBY works really well for headcanon fuel too

However if I had to pick a visual artist I think Zemyata takes the cake because Zem uses an ipad to draw (similar to me cuz i use my iphone) and I think Zem’s art is a testament to how there really is no one art program that fits for everyone and a professional can come from literally anywhere ;-;

7. Favourite works of all time excluding your own?

Uuuh can we give huge props to Owl House & Dana Terrance for all the hard work they did??? By far best series finale of the year I cried at the end ;~;

Pokemon is also a big one for me, even if the plot falls flat on its face half of the time I’m still a huge sucker for the semi-realistic art style & I’m pretty sure visual style has influenced mine for better or worse ._.;

I also like Samurai Jack too! I really should study color theory & backgrounds from Gennedy Tartakovsky cuz lookit

So simplistic yet so real I love it

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness - Redux 5. Of Course Not

Sapphire forced herself up – and at the same time, Scisso Ring rose as well.

“Hurry up and jack off!” The referee urged.

“Shut up! I can keep going!” Sapphire yelled to the referee.

The large corrector to the side, in the same moment, sliced off Scisso Ring’s right arm clean off and with it, half of her shears fell.

Sapphire, in their physical and mental link...had her own right arm fall off and blood leaked forth. Less like the samurai film of old with blood spraying and more like like a thick, slow moving fountain of molasses flowing down.

The referee threw his hat down.

“That’s it! This is getting embarrassing! I’m stopping this right here!” He shouted. Less concerned now, more furious.

“We can still keep going!” Sapphire urged and had ripped off the bottom of her shirt to cover the bleeding. Her vision was blurring and she stumbled but her stubbornness fell on deaf ears, which may have even been her own as her hearing kept blinking in and out.

Cages descended down and captured the remaining Correctors on each side. The canyon sides, as well, were moved upward and taken out of sight, as if they were nothing more than stage props.

Turtle Dove watched the canyons move and the Correctors being hauled off in cages. While Sapphire was doing all in her power to remain conscious, it was Turtle Dove’s turn to protest.

“What?! You could just take away the dangers at any time before it gets too bad?!” He gestured to the Correctors being hauled off and the canyons being moved. “Why didn’t you do that for the boys before, then?! Why did you just let them die?!” He wanted to run up to the referee and punch him, but the referee held up one hand and placed the other hand on top horizontally, and Turtle Dove stopped.

“So, would you rather me let those Correctors come back down and finish the job?” The referee asked, devoid of emotion, yet suggesting whether the two lived or died was but a simple decision. The fans that run throughout Turtle Dove’s system he called a body worked in overdrive as if too much processing power was being used at once.

“That...that’s not what I’m saying at all, no…”

“Then I have some good news. Seeing as,” he looked toward Turtle Dove’s side of the arena. Throughout the exam, the referee paid close attention to Sapphire while paying Turtle Dove’s machinations no mind. A panel above displayed the kill count between Turtle Dove’s and Sapphire’s side. Sapphire had killed the most Correctors between the two. There were only two remaining on her side, while several would have overtaken him had the match not been stopped. But rather than mention that, the referee went in a different direction.

“Ahem. Seeing as all of your units survived, I consider your performance more in line with what we are looking for. In other words, welcome new commander Turtle Dove.

As if rage were a little ball and Sapphire caught it, she flared up.

“What the hell?! I killed more Correctors than he did! Since when is it a viable strategy to run from battle in the first place?!” She yelled with slurred words and gestured, the blood still seeping through her makeshift covering.

“It was a tactical retreat,” the referee corrected her. “He lost no units and the Correctors were starting to run low on energy. If the battle had concluded, they would have likely tried to run off to recuperate. Considering the Corrector side suffered more losses while suffering no loses on the commander side, while not a total victory, it’s closer to one than a loss.”

“That’s bullshit! I fought to the very end!”

“Yes, and that’s the problem: you were crippled in battle. In an actual battle, a commander knows when to jack on and when to jack off. Selkies can be remade. You cannot. There’s no place in the military for a crippled commander.”

All the anger in her dissipated and replaced with something far worse; that same feeling washed over Turtle Dove. She backed away. He stood in place.

“Come, Turtle Dove. You did well. Let me show you to the next stage of your journey,” the referee ushered Turtle Dove in a way that was meant to come off as friendly, but like everything else, it came off as a threat.

“What’s going to happen to her?” Turtle Dove voiced what Sapphire didn’t need to ask.

“What’s it to you?”

Turtle Dove’s heart skipped a beat.

“Where will she be going?”

“Not to worry, she’ll be sent home.”

“Didn’t she say her village was destroyed? Where is she supposed to go?”

“It doesn’t matter. Your place is with us. Unless you want to forfeit your right to be commander and spend some quality time with her?”

Turtle Dove shook his head.

“Of course not,” the referee smiled.

Rather than go through the double elevators that they came down from, the referee walked over to another platform and Turtle Dove followed close behind. Sapphire didn’t try to run toward them despite knowing what was to come: glass formed around Turtle Dove and the referee and the two descended further.

In the darkness of the tunnel, they traveled. The ride was silent, but Turtle Doves’ thoughts were anything but.

I should have done more for her. She deserves to be a commander more than I did. I was cowardly. She fought on.

“Why are we just leaving her there? She needs medical attention,” Turtle Dove tried to voice his concern once again. As usual, the referee was dismissive.

“She is of no concern to us.”

“Why save her only to leave her to die? Make it make sense!” Turtle Dove’s voice raised.

“Watch your tone, rookie. You may be a commander now, but you’re still on the lowest rung on the ladder. I can still strip you of your title for insubordination.”

That shut Turtle Dove up.

“Got nothing else to say? Good. This is cause for celebration, not consternation.”

It didn’t matter how much the referee tried to sugarcoat his ambivalence toward the lives of others, the sour taste of burnt almonds in Turtle Dove’s mouth would not leave. The rest of the ride down was silent until a bright underground facility revealed itself.

The door opened.

“Welcome,” the referee ushered Turtle Dove out, “to your new home.”

The walls were much shinier, much cleaner, and the brightness wasn’t so overpowering as to blind him. Each wall, metallic with a cerulean tint. From around the corner of the hallway stepped forth a familiar face with her teal and white uniform, that messy, walnut brown hair, and this time wearing glasses: Ms. Temerity.

“I heard the good news, commander,” she greeted Turtle Dove, then turned to the referee, “I can take it from here.”

Her voice made Turtle Dove shiver. It was airy, seductive.

“Ah, ha ha! Yes, I know he’ll be in good hands with you, overseer,” the referee chuckled and put on an act of friendliness.

The referee stepped back into the elevator and rode it up. Once it was out of sight, Turtle Dove, while still not at ease, breathed a sigh of relief for not having to be in that man’s presence any longer. However, there was another terrifying presence right next to him.

“You’re Turtle Dove?” She asked.

“Yes,” he said, his thoughts still elsewhere.

“You fought well. Let me give you the tour. Although for now, we may just meet a few other commanders and then head to your room for the night. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

“You saw my performance?”

She nodded.

“It was a shame I couldn’t be there in person, but I tried to help in my own way.”

Turtle Dove froze. After a few second’s refresh, he asked:

“You were Temptress?” His voice echoed down the empty halls.

She gave him a pat on the back which was more like a shove, and he stumbled forward, almost fell onto the glazed, laminate floor.

“Oh dear,” she laughed, “please keep your voice down. You never know who might hear us. Come along, now.”

“You mean to tell me you’re a Selkie?” Turtle Dove asked with his voice hushed as the two walked down the hall, side by side. At multiple intervals, their hands brushed and Turtle Dove felt a brief rush of warmth.

“I am. You may call me Temperance. I just overrode your glove and replaced Fresh-Light. Of course, I have an appearance to maintain as overseer. Not many people know I’m a Selkie, after all.”

“So you pretend to be human?”

“I prefer the term ‘passing’. It’s rather easy to pass as human, don’t you think?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Turtle Dove crossed his arms together and looked away.

“You wouldn’t? By the way, how’s your shoulder?”

“Still sore.”

“It will pass. No matter how it felt at the time, I didn’t break any bones, and your frame is rather malleable. You’d be surprised.”

“I’ve been surprised all day,” Turtle Dove grumbled.

“Prepare to be surprised once more: I’m not just any Selkie, I’m your Selkie.”

“What?”

“The director of the Selkie program mandated that each commander is to be assigned one randomly selected SSR Selkie. I was selected to be yours. Consider me at your disposal for you to command.”

With those words, something sprung from Turtle Dove.

“Can you save Sapphire’s life?” He asked.

“Oh my. That’s a rather tall order. You are aware that you would be going against the military, yes? You never know when the director might be watching or listening.”

“But can you?”

“I’ll see what I can do. Now, may I show you to your room? We can continue the tour for tomorrow. If I’m going to be making such a huge risk, I’ll need some time to prep.”

“Fine by me.”

Temperance let slip an unnaturally narrow smile.

I’m going to enjoy this, she thought.

A navy blue sign plastered onto the wall with white lettering pointed two ways: ‘Dorms’ with an arrow pointing forward and ‘Elevator’ pointing back.

Temperance herself pointed to her left where another hallway led.

“Over there is where the locker room is. You’ll meet your fellow commanders there. There are training courses just past the locker rooms where you can work out and even enter mock battles to power up your Selkies. Past the dorms are the labs. Each commander is assigned one. Including you.”

He nodded.

They continued walking for a little while until they reached dorm room #187.

“Here we are,” she pulled out a blue, holographic key card from her pocket. She swiped it against the black panel on the door and the door slid open. She handed him the key card she used.

“This is yours. Don’t lose it. I have my own.”

She left after that. He didn’t know when he would return, but when he met the darkness of the dorm room, he smiled.

After a long, hot shower with unscented soap and unlabeled shampoo, provided by the military, he dried off with a thin, white tail and changed into generic black pants and black, spandex shirt. His clothes were currently being washed in the dorm’s washer.

Evening set. No sign of Temperance.

Less than a dorm, the room seemed bare with a bunk bed and thin sheets. Like a prison cell, with a few amenities.

He crawled into bed and rather than sleep on the plain white pillow provided, hugged it tight.

Temperance entered soon after and the glow from the light outside shone in.

“Did you save her?” He asked without looking toward his Selkie.

“Of course not,” she smiled. “That would have gone against the higher ups.”

Turtle Dove’s eyes started to well up as tears spilled forth and he hugged his pillow tighter, imagining it to be the large shark plushie he once had. As childish as it may have been, he missed it.

[tolkiendefiled]

Season 2 Episode 6

Remember how I said the last episode was kind of okay? Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Back when the trailer for the second season came out, I said that the Rings of Power is the worst hate-fiction ever. And boy, did this episode prove me right. It’s like someone said, “Let’s ruin every character,” and then the one rational person working at Amazon was like, “What do you mean everyone?” Almost nothing in this episode is from the books.They’re blatantly copying scenes from Game of Thrones, but worse, damn near none of this stuff is set up. This is exactly what happened in the first season, and at the same point in the season. They want to have these moments of gravitas and emotion, but they never took the time to build up to them, so the moments fall flat.

I feel bad for the actors because they’re really trying. If you watched the episode, you know what scene I’m talking about. The showrunners and writers did them no favors. They’ve got nothing to work with. Take the scenes with the Hobbits. Nori realizes that she’s put the Stoors at risk because the dark wizard is looking for her. Nori tells the leader that her people should leave, but the Stoors don’t want to leave their home, so Nori decides to turn herself in. The show tries to make a big deal of the importance of the Stoors’ home, but this is literally the second time we’ve seen them, and the third time we’ve had any moments with the leader, whose name I’m never going to remember. The actress is doing her best to sell the dialogue, but the scene has no weight because we don’t know anything about these people. This is like showing a random scene from Seven Samurai of the villagers crying. Their performances are fine, but the audience won’t care because they have no connection to these people. You need the scenes of the villagers being helpless and afraid, and then being selfish and shady, for the crying scenes to work. It’s all about context.

Speaking of which, Poppy and Merimac randomly fall in love. Don’t be alarmed, you probably just heard the sound of thousands of lesbians crying out at once. They were certain, absolutely sure, Nori and Poppy were a thing, but now that’s gone. I’m sure they’ll get over it. That said, this is a little fast. These two literally just met, and bruv isn’t exactly running on all cylinders. Then again, Poppy ain’t that bright herself. I bet no one will have a problem with how fast these two fell in love, even though it makes no sense; but if Mr. Nobody had been a woman, well, we’d never hear the end of it. At any rate, because of this, Poppy convinces Nori to stay and fight. Sure, why not? I mean, it’s not like we know nothing about the dark wizard, or his minions, or the Stoors, or what the hell is happening in Rhûn. Just act like this is a big moment. Fuck the context.

Speaking of ignoring context, the Stranger and Tom Bombadil ramble on about the Secret Fire. You might be wondering what that is, and since the show doesn’t bother to explain it to the audience, allow me to mansplain. The Secret Fire is the Power of Creation. It’s what Ilúvatar uses to create life, or more accurately, fëar - a spirit or a soul. This is what allows a creature to have sentience and free will. Other beings, like the Valar, can create other creatures, but those creatures are animated by their creator’s will. They don’t truly act on their own. Only Ilúvatar can impart true sentience onto beings. He does this when Aulë creates the Dwarves, and when Yavanna creates the Ents. This is also why the Orcs are not thought to be created by Morgoth, but instead corrupted by him, because Morgoth can’t create sentient life. So, why is this in the show? Because the Stranger says in his fight with the Balrog that he’s a servant of the Secret Fire, so again, the show implies that this is Gandalf while pretending it’s not.

The issue is that the scene makes no sense in context to the lore, or even the show’s jacked up narrative. We’ve never heard anything about the Secret Fire, and the show has Bombadil speak about it in such a vague way that it’s impossible to understand what he’s getting at. That’s bad for the audience, but it’s worse for the Stranger because he keeps asking for help, and old Tom keeps speaking in nonsensical riddles. It seems like the show is just going in circles with the Stranger, and I think it’s because the writers wrote themselves into a corner by having him not remember who he is or how to use his power. If they commit to him being Gandalf, then he would immediately have to deal with Sauron, which completely breaks the lore since the Wizards don’t arrive until the Third Age after Sauron is defeated. Now the writers need some way to keep the Stranger in the East, so they’re dragging this out, but they’re also trying to claim that Sauron’s on the brink of rising to power, so it doesn’t make any sense why the Stranger would stay in the East. It’s a total mess - one the showrunners needlessly created by changing the order of events. It’s almost like Tolkien knew what he was doing.

Then old Tom takes the Stranger to the keyblade graveyard (attached) to find his staff. This is how you solve the problem of him not going to stop Sauron? Have him spend weeks searching for a stick? Oh no, it’s actually dumber than that. See, the Stranger keeps getting visions of Nori in danger, so he wants to help her, but Bombadil keeps going on about Sauron, and discount Gandalf (the Stranger) is like, “Well, Nori will die,” and so the show has Tom Bombadil completely butcher one of Gandalf’s lines: “Many that die deserve life. Some that live deserve death. Who are you to give it to them?”

The correct line is: “Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be so eager to deal out death and judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.” The point wasn’t to lecture someone about whose life is more important. Gandalf says this to Frodo to teach him that Gollum may yet serve a purpose, that even if Gollum can’t be changed, it doesn’t mean his actions can’t lead to good outcomes. And that’s what happens in the story. Because Bilbo didn’t kill Gollum when he had the chance, Gollum was there at Mount Doom when Frodo succumbs to the Ring. He takes the Ring from Frodo and, depending on how you want to read it, either accidentally falls or is deliberately pushed by Frodo into the lava with the Ring, destroying the Ring and winning the day. Had Bilbo killed Gollum like Frodo wanted, once Frodo fell to the Ring, Sauron would have killed him, taken the Ring, and overthrown the world. The point of Gandalf’s words is that no one should go around killing people just because they think that person deserves it because you don’t know what part that person may play later on. It’s a good line and great advice, so why would they butcher it and make it into the polar opposite of Tolkien’s point?

Ironically, many of the people who will complain about this line technically agree with Tom Bombadil, that some lives are more important than others. It’ll be interesting to see how they thread that needle without making themselves look like complete hypocrites.

Anyway, Bombadil tells discount Gandalf to choose and then ditches his ass, and that’s the last we see of them in the episode. We basically learned a whole lot of nothing. It begins and ends at the same place. This man is still looking for a fucking stick. Are you kidding me? No, they’re not kidding. They’re committing to the bit.

For example, Celebrimbor is losing his mind over the rings. Literally, he’s going bananas. He snaps at his staff, forgets Short Round’s name (Mirdania), and is completely consumed with trying to make rings for Men. It’s kind of implied that Annatar is messing with his mind, but none of this makes any sense in context to the show. Celebrimbor didn’t have any problems creating rings for the Elves or Dwarves. The show claims that the rings for Men need to be made so that the Men won’t easily fall prey to corruption, but the show never explains why Men would be so easily corrupted, or why Celebrimbor is incapable of solving this problem. Worse, it doesn’t make any sense why Celebrimbor needs to do this when, in the previous episode, Annatar said he’d make the rings himself. Remember, Annatar is Sauron, and Sauron is the greatest craftsman in Middle-earth at this time. He teaches Celebrimbor how to make Rings of Power, not the other way around, so there’s no reason Annatar couldn’t make rings for Men on his own. This is just some nonsense the show contrived to add conflict, but it doesn’t work because it didn’t properly set it up. The show tries to make it as if Sauron himself is as manipulative and seductive as the One Ring, but it’s so obvious what he’s doing that it makes the characters look gullible and stupid to fall for it. No one has any reason to trust Annatar, especially when all their problems began when he showed up.

Now, there is at least one person who knows something’s up, and that’s Durin. Apparently, the Elven smiths ran out of mithril and a new shipment never arrived, so Annatar goes to Khazad-dûm to ask for more, offering King Durin fresh timber for his mines. The king denies him, but it’s just a ploy. He expects Annatar to come back due to the coming war, so now he can charge more for the trade. This is the ring talking. It’s making him greedy. Durin tries to take the ring from his father, but gets knocked away. The show doesn’t explain this, but this is because the ring increases the bearer’s natural powers, so the king is now stronger than the average Dwarf. Durin is broken by his father’s change. Disa tries to get him to turn on his father, but he can’t bring himself to do it.

The scene wants to be heavy and important, and the actors are giving it their all, but we spend so little time with Durin and his father that the moment carries no weight at all. We’re supposed to think it’s tragic that the king is falling to the ring, but we don’t know enough about him to see this as a tragedy. We have no connection to this man. I give the actors credit for their performances, but it would have been nice if the show gave them the screen time to earn the reaction they want.

Anyway, the pair decide to stop Narvi from mining more mithril by Disa singing to call down bats to chase the miners away. This is their great stand against the tyranny of the ring. Whatever.

Back before Annatar left Eregion, a body washed up with a message asking “Where is he,” meaning where is Sauron. This is a message from Adar, who suspects that Halbrand is Sauron and is still in Eregion. He tells this to Galadriel, who continues to prove she’s the dumbest person in the world. Although, to her credit, she at first tries to act like a rational person. Adar tries to get her to talk by sharing his feelings about Sauron. He mentions that Sauron preys on people’s minds to find what they want most, and asks what Galadriel wanted. To no one’s surprise, it wasn’t common sense, but instead an army. Adar says that what he wanted was children, which apparently explains the Orcs, but that raised a question for me. Are these not regular Orcs? I think I questioned this in the first season because they seem to be connected and loyal to Adar. We saw this in the first episode of this season when they stuck with Adar, even though Sauron should be powerful enough to control them. Are these Orcs specifically tied to Adar? Or is this just how the Orcs came into being? The show never bothers to explain this.

Another problem is that the show just makes shit up. Case in point, the crown of Morgoth. This (attached) is the crown from the first episode that Adar used to stab, and not kill, Sauron. Apparently, this is the same crown that bore the Silmarils, and that’s interesting because the Valar turned that into a collar to chain Morgoth at the end of the First Age. So, did that not happen? Did Morgoth not get banished into the Void? The best excuse I can see for this change is that this bit about the crown being turned into a collar isn’t in the Appendices, but the show clearly references and uses things from the rest of Tolkien’s works, so that excuse doesn’t fly.

What makes even less sense is why Adar still has it. See, he thinks the crown should have been enough to kill Sauron, but it wasn’t. Now he realizes that he needs the crown and the Three Elven Rings to do it. Why would the crown be able to do this, or the rings that only preserve? What’s the plan? Use the rings to keep Sauron alive long enough to stab him to death? The crown has no power, and the rings don’t kill things. So what is his plan?

And then, to make it worse, Galadriel initially refuses to cooperate with Adar, but when he returns, she decides to work with him, so she tells Adar all about the Elves’ forces on their way to Eregion, and that Elrond is with them and has her ring. You just told your enemy your whole fucking plan, and revealed your secret weapon! Is he even really on your side? You don’t know! Why would you tell him your whole fucking plan? So, of course, when Galadriel says that they need to wait for the Elves because Adar’s single legion isn’t enough, Adar reveals that he’s got way more troops, and soon, he’s going to have a Ring of Power. This bitch is literally the dumbest person in the world. She’s supposed to be this cunning military strategist, and she just gave away the whole fucking plot.

However, I will give her some credit. She realizes that Sauron’s plan might be to use Adar’s forces as his own, so getting Adar to attack Eregion might be a trap. Okay, fine. Decent insight. Oh, but there’s just one more thing. Sauron is supposed to be a great power, and the Orcs are susceptible to strong wills, so all he’d actually need to do is just exert his will and the Orcs would be his. Technically, none of this should be happening. Sauron should have had the Orcs on his side the moment he thought about them. Then again, I have done this really weird thing called reading the books, and you know nobody’s supposed to do that.

The siege of Eregion happens, and the people fall into a total panic, even though all of these Elves probably survived the First Age, so this wouldn’t be their first battle. I’m not saying none of them would panic, but it is strange that damn near all of them lose their shit. They got me over here like Chucky. You act like you’ve never seen a catapult before.

Meanwhile, Celebrimbor hears the commotion and tries to look, but Annatar blocks him. When Celebrimbor forces his way outside, Annatar traps him in a fake vision of Eregion to keep him from learning about the siege. Annatar talks about the importance of the rings to Celebrimbor’s legacy, claiming that the Silmarils will just be a whisper compared to what Celebrimbor will achieve. Then he gives Celebrimbor mithril dust supposedly created by Narvi, which we never find out how the hell he got, and hands him Fëanor’s hammer.

Now, the way the scene plays out makes it seem like the Nine Rings for Men are the most powerful or the most important rings Celebrimbor creates. That’s the opposite of what happens in the books. The Three Elven Rings are the height of Celebrimbor’s prowess, and that makes sense because they were made last. This is a weird thing to reverse. If I were being as generous as possible, then I could say that the show doesn’t claim that the Nine are the greatest, but instead implies that Celebrimbor outdid himself with the original Three and now can’t live up to his own hype. Either way, it’s total nonsense.

It also begs the question of why Annatar is even there. He’s really not doing anything with the rings. He’s not teaching Celebrimbor new techniques. He’s not making any of them. The Elves are actually doing all the work. So what is he doing? The books made it clear that Annatar taught Celebrimbor how to make Rings of Power. The show just has Annatar there. He’s pointless.

Anyway, Celebrimbor goes back to make rings, and then the assault happens. That’s the end of the episode, but that’s not all that happened in the episode. I saved the bit with Númenor for last because it is the worst hate-fiction I have seen in a long time. I thought I was supposed to be watching the Rings of Power, not some half-ass version of Games of Thrones, but that is the best description of this nonsense in Númenor.

Elendil is brought before Pharazôn to renounce his crime of, I guess, punching Pharazôn’s son, and to pledge his loyalty to Pharazôn as a true king. Elendil renounces his crime, but won’t pledge fealty, so Pharazôn sentences Elendil to trial by the Valar. He will be put to the sea at the mercy of a sea monster, who will either eat him - proving his guilt - or spare him - proving his innocence in the eyes of the Valar. None of this is in the books, but worse, it doesn’t even make sense in the show. Like I’ve said many times in this review, the show never bothers to set any of this up. We know nothing about how the Númenóreans view the Valar or their traditions around them, so when the show mentions something like trial by sea monster, it comes out of nowhere. There’s no context for any of it - from why Pharazôn would choose this method to why it’s even a thing. The best this show offers is that Pharazôn is trying to throw the Faithful’s love of the Valar back in their faces by forcing Elendil to follow this archaic rule, but we know next to nothing about the Faithful or Númenor’s rules, so this falls flat.

They lock Elendil up in prison, and then his daughter comes to plead with him to pledge fealty to Pharazôn. Where in the Game of Thrones have I seen this before? Ned Stark - I mean, excuse me - Elendil obviously refuses to bend the knee, so his daughter brings in the blind queen to plead the case, but he still refuses because it would be against his beliefs as one of the Faithful. The problem is that none of what they’re talking about has even been in the show. For the umpteenth time, we have no context, so why should anyone care about the scene? Also, since when did Míriel and Elendil become a thing? Are they fucking? They better not be fucking. That’s not in the books. That’s way off from the books.

Anyway, time comes for Elendil to die, and of course, the queen takes Elendil’s place. And of course, she’s spared by the monster. The people then chant for her as the queen of the sea, but Pharazôn’s already been made king, so I’m not sure what this is supposed to accomplish. She’s not actually the queen anymore, right? Or maybe not right because this show never bothers to explain what the fuck is going on. That said, this (attached) is a cool shot.

The Númenor scenes end with Pharazôn checking the palantír and seeing Halbrand, and I’ve got to admit that, as much as I think it’ll be a shit show, I kind of want to see what they’re going to do with this. Because in the books, Sauron tries to corrupt the Númenóreans after failing to corrupt the Elves, but it backfires, and eventually Pharazôn comes after Sauron, but the Dark Lord doesn’t have the power to defeat the Númenóreans, so instead he bends the knee, and eventually goes from prisoner to Pharazôn’s advisor. I’m interested to see how the writers will handle this because they already made the Númenóreans hostile to war in Middle-earth, so none of these people would agree to Pharazôn going back there just to get Sauron. Again, this is another example of the show needlessly writing itself into a corner. Unfortunately for the show, there are only two episodes left, so they don’t have enough time to fix any of this nonsense. It’s almost like they should have stuck to the plot of the books instead of writing the worst hate-fiction ever.

[evajellion]

Your fanart of Dooku was golden tho. If only George Lucas wasn't crazy and salty about Genndy's Clone Wars...

Not George's fault. He wasn't actually salty about it. He did retcon the Genndy Clone Wars series eventually but I think that was to expand on an idea he had to bring Darth Maul back for future content and to introduce a padawan for Anakin. (that made his fall to the dark side more believable)

Genndy was offered to work on Star Wars full-time and said no. He wanted to continue stuff like Samurai Jack.

So George scooped up Filoni while he was working on ATLA. And we have been stuck with Filoni ever since, thus the retcons that were made in 2008 TCW.

Some for better, some for worse…

[floralmotif]

Tighter threads (s12 finale thoughts)

Well, that happened.

I’m writing this without checking anyone else’s direct thoughts, so someone may have already touched on this but I want to get this out before I forget too much.

First off, I didn’t hate them. I especially liked 12.22(with the exception of one thing). It was very tightly written, in so, so many ways. 12.23 was good(mostly), but it felt more standard. Either way, they pretty much used their last token, and decided to make their narrative so tight, we are currently inside Jupiter.

Spoilers below.

Don’t you just love cliffhangers? No? Huh.. the show seems to think we do. Well, good news everyone! Cliffhangers are so prevalent that unless the show did the narrative equivalent of a lobotomy, the outcome should be pretty easy to read. 

And we’re gonna use 12.22 to do it... and a specific type of narrative parallel.

Ok, so the show has established Mary and Cas as narrative mirrors, and 12.22 and 12.23 basically tightened that spiral into a grinding, ear splitting whine. I had a feeling they would do that. I was hoping they wouldn’t cliff hanger it, but eh, can’t say I’m surprised. Good job SPN, you did the one thing that lets you get away with halting the narrative for a little longer. *slow clap*

Alright, let’s start with the set up of 12.22. For this entire season, Cas and Mary have had parallel narratives. Dean, Mary and Sam have had parallels with each other throughout the season and series in general, but the parallel A-Plot for the season seemed to be Mary = Cas(we’ll get to the other two as well). Mary is basically running her own version of s4 and 5(complete with Luci and apocalypse). Cas and Mary both run towards what’s comfortable for them and run away from real confrontation: Dean and Sam. They run towards the past and how it was, because the future is scary and uncertain and facing forward is hard when their pasts are so messy. Also Cas is just really old and breaking him of what he’s used to is understandably difficult. 

In 12.22, the level of parallel comes to a head and spirals down and tightens into what I’m gonna call an Analog Narrative... I don’t remember its actual name, but using the definitions for analog: 

relating to or using signals or information represented by a continuously variable physical quantity such as spatial position or voltage.

and: a person or thing seen as comparable to another.

I’m gonna go with that for now. It’s basically a tighter form of metaphor for our purposes, a sort of entanglement if you will. It roughly translates to “I am you.” and it allows elements that apply to one, to apply to the other without direct contact. Like a signal from one that is unseen, manifesting in the physical space of the other... like the conversation between Dean and Mary in 12.22. Many of you have probably seen this pop up in movies, many of you may have even seen it in the ep and in the series overall. It’s like the narrative parallel SPN generally uses, just a much tighter form. It’s been used a few other times in the series before. S11 used it a decent amount. I’m just gonna focus on it and give it a name to make it easier to talk about and to differentiate it from your standard parallel like what Dean and Mary are, and Cas and John.

In a standard parallel, one does what the other one does in some form of another, usually in some sort of tandem. In an “analog narrative” what happens to one, is related to the other without us seeing the other directly. Their signals are entangled. So like... a character saying or acting a certain way, means the other character also feels that way/does that thing even if not on screen. When this type of parallel is present, it often takes the form of Crowley reflecting various people. Usually Dean or Cas nowadays. His death may actually mean we’ll start to see more actual words exchanged between characters instead of them being filtered through him.(I will miss him though. He was neat.)

See Guardians of the Galaxy v2 if you want a recent, noticeable example that directly states what it is.

Both Cas and Mary had elements of mind control. The level of mind control with Mary is of the more direct sort, and “going in” is a very “filmed media” way to resolve it. It also allows for Mary to help with Kelly and for them to drag direct information out longer.

Like Cas, Mary had chose to follow “paradise”, a place without want, or suffering, or fear, etc. She had chose to stay away and to attempt to continue her perfect life where it was comfortable. She felt so much guilt for everything, that she ran away from Dean and Sam, just like Cas did. They both wanted to make up for their respective deals. Cas, under the nephilim’s influence chose that too instead of saw it for a lie. Never trust anything in a network tv show that lists a world free of want, fear, suffering, etc as attributes. They are pretty much always a trap unless they're an epilogue and there’s sufficient buildup or it’s part of a message. I’m still not convinced the nephilim is evil, I just think it has a very naive idea of what good is and may not function on a level comparable to humans. It’ll show Cas whatever it thinks will work to show him. It’s just lucky Cas was operating under the same logic Mary was and that allowing in “paradise” would absolve him of control, and by extension, guilt. 

Nope, can’t silence the lambs that easily. Just cause you can’t hear them, doesn’t mean they aren’t calling out.

“Right Mary?” I say as Dean calls out to her.

Mary’s paradise is kind of interesting. She’s basically got that scene in Dark of the Moon as her chosen paradise. Makes me wonder if Ketch has one, but anyway, in it are Sam and Dean in a simpler form. One where they don’t want or need or suffer, one where they are just children and don’t have true ambitions and can’t present a true instigated challenge. Cas’ idea of paradise would absolve him of want, of fear, of facing his feelings and the repercussions they may give.

This is the prison of their minds, peace over freedom. Even though Dean has the same fears about himself as Cas does, he pushes through and tries to talk to Mary. Eventually, while she doesn’t answer him, we get some highlights:

Mary: I only want good things for you Dean. I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.

Dean: I hate you.

Dean: I was a kid, you promised you’d keep me safe... and then you make a deal with Azazel.

Dean: You wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved, he got possessed by Lucifer, he lost his soul.... All because of you.

All of it was because of you.

Please note that Dean doesn’t mention the things that specifically happened to him.. but you know.. Dean.

Dean: I hate you. I hate you... and I love you... because I, I can’t help it. You’re my mom... and I understand.. and I have made deals to save the ones I love.. more than once. I forgive you. I forgive you.. for all of it... everything.

Dean: On the other side of this, we can start over. I need you to look at me, I need you to see me. 

Now, not all of this will apply or be exact, because Mary is still her own person with her own issues and stuff that she specifically did. Parallels aren’t usually exact. That’s too obvious and filmed works are a game of Dixit. Also, most of the transgressions they refer to are in the far past, so chances are, the parallel is addressing some further back issues as well...

So.. roughly translated to Analog speak... 

Dean: I hate you.

Dean: I needed you, and you promised you would keep me safe, and then you made a deal and left us alone. Do you know what that was like?

(I’m not sure which exact parallels they’re going for here with the listing, but I’m going with Cas breaking Sam’s wall and Cas raising Sam from hell without his soul. The only one I’m not sure about is the death of the girl he loved. Eileen maybe? Since he wasn’t present to help prevent the deaths of people with them. That one’s harder and maybe it kills the whole parallel but I doubt it. The intent may not be exact since Dean still hasn’t really had this conversation with Cas. It may be like “insert appropriate transgressions here”. *shrugs* The rest of the ep supports the parallel, so I’m going with this for now. Broad strokes are a thing)

I hate you. I hate you... and I love you... because I, I can’t help it. You’re Cas... and I understand.. and I have made deals to save the ones I love.. more than once. I forgive you. I forgive you.. for all of it... everything.

Dean: On the other side of this, we can start over. I need you to look at me, I need you to see me.

So there it is(probably). That’s why Dean didn’t say “I love you” back. He doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings. Cas’ actions have made him upset just like Mary’s have. He still loves her even after everything, and he still loves Cas, but he doesn’t know what to do about everything else. Mary and Cas both kept ditching and tricking him. Him being upset and confused makes sense.

After Ketch is killed and Mary and Dean start talking again. She says she does want to start over, she does want to make things better and she explains why she’s been running off and working with the BMoLs and everything. Cas sort of almost did this in 12.19, but not entirely. They’ve both been running away to make up for their transgressions at the expense of the people they love, as they have both been unable to forgive themselves. Yay for Mary and the writers for giving Dean an example of using his words and taking responsibility that ends in a direct good outcome. Enforced narrative for the win. Sam got one in the ep as well with leading the hunters against the BMoLs. It made me happy.

Ok, now that Mary and Cas are almost completely entangled, let’s take them to the finale.

The nephilim opens a tear in reality because reasons and we get to see an apocalypse where Bobby is weirdly still alive. I took it though, because I like Bobby. Oh yay, it’s the end of Mary’s s5... and guess where she ends up.. Mary carries the old ways remember? And where did the old ways get Sam in s5?

We get a big bunch of buildup with Mary taking Cas’ place soothing Kelly, me being really uncomfortable by Kelly's lines, Sam, Cas and Dean failing to kill Luci, Crowley going all heroic sacrifice and taking just long enough for Cas to get in.

Then we have the ending with Cas apparently dead, Dean staring up into the sky for help like Mary did with John and Mary getting pulled into the “cage” with Lucifer, just like Sam did in s5. Mary is paralleled with everyone this season, but especially Cas. Because this is the finale, all of those parallels have to merge in some way. Sam followed Mary into the BMoLs because he wanted to go the easy way and not lead, or have to deal with responsibility, Dean follows Mary in that he basically was Sam’s mother and he also carries her fears of the future and self doubt, Cas is the themes of the show and carries the potential for a better way. His arc this season basically fits into hers. This season enforces that agency and responsibility are essential.

We can pretty much infer than in some way or another Cas will be ok. Cas’ life is uncertain and so is Mary’s. Luci’s eyes glow just before the end, we don’t know what her fate was, but she’s almost certainly not dead. Dean also never walks back inside to meet back up with Sam. We end the season with him kneeling in front of Cas’ body. That holds some meaning in tv land and this show likes to start seasons up pretty close to the end of the previous season unless they use a time skip. Please don’t use a timeskip SPN, that is what is called retreading and you don’t want that. Death in media is usually about getting over or accepting, or understanding, or whatevering a death unless it holds some symbolic meaning.. which Cas only holds alive at this point. We already know what Dean grieving Cas looks like. We don’t need it again. No retreads.

Will Michael or God, or Jack come and save both Cas and Mary? Dunno, but next season will likely have something to do with universe hopping(and possibly human!cas) to find Mary... and maybe Cas. I’m hoping they just un-dead Cas right away though, because the alternative is annoying to me, but whatever. As long as OG Cas returns within a reasonable amount of time, I’ll deal.

[omg-imagine]

Loopy

Pairing: Johnny Silverhand x female!V

Summary: V is a little loopy from her anesthesia, and Johnny finds it amusing.

Words: 1.7k

A/N: Requested by @thescorpionrodriguez. Hope you enjoy!

“Come on, V, wake the fuck up already.”

Silence. Johnny swears he could hear a pin drop.

V’s body remains lax on the bed; her eyes wound shut as if she were sound asleep. Slow and rhythmic, the rise and fall of her chest were calming, lulling. For once, she looks to be in peace, a rare moment for those who live and breathe in Night City.

She had been lucky. Extremely lucky. Two or three millimeters more to the right and the bullet that pierced her abdomen would have hit an organ. By some miracle, it missed anything vital and had exited out cleanly. It did fucking hurt judging by the sound of her agonizing groans, but here she was—still kicking, still alive.

And Johnny’s relieved that she was. They may not get along at times, but he genuinely cares for V. Hell, he would even consider her a good friend. She could call him a snarky asshole as often as she wants (and she does), yet he knows that deep down, she too has grown a soft spot for the rocker boy.

It’s been hours since the mission that went awry, and Johnny was getting pretty antsy. Vik had to put V down while he worked on repairing her cyberware. Nothing major, though the anesthesia should have certainly worn out by now. Much to Silverhand’s surprise, the ripperdoc wasn’t acting all too worried about it. He thinks V could use the sleep since he’s aware of how little she’s been getting.

Unfortunately, Johnny was all but a patient man. Bored out of his damn mind, he’s tired of roaming around the operating room, waiting and waiting for V to regain consciousness. Johnny’s more than ready to leave, perhaps grab a smoke afterward. He hasn’t gone this long without one lately, and he can’t enjoy one if V’s lying here, knocked out cold.

Nearly the rest of the day flies by, and the sun begins to set. That’s when he feels it; a spark—a familiar jolt of electricity emitting in the depths of V’s mind. Johnny manifests by her bedside, watching as her body finally stirs awake. That’s my girl, he silently praises, a flicker of a smile playing on his lips. V’s eyes flutter open, taking a minute to survey her surroundings before her line of sight lands on him.

“Well, look who decided to come back to life,” Johnny quips, leaning closer. “You doing alright, kid?”

V doesn’t respond. Rather, she bursts into a fit of giggles out of nowhere.

What the fuck?

Bewildered, Johnny glances everywhere but notices nothing amusing of the sort. “Care to share what you find so funny?”

“You’re too good looking to be my nurse,” V drawls, no doubt experiencing side effects from the anesthesia.

“I’m no nurse, princess, but thanks,” he corrects her. Then, it dawns on him. “You recognize me?”

She blinks at him blearily, the gears in her head turning as she tries to put a name to the face. “I dunno, should I?”

“It’s Johnny. Johnny Silverhand. Ring any bells?”

Again, V chuckles, a light-hearted tone that Johnny rarely hears, but they were sweet music to his ears when he does.

“Nope, zero bells. Are you like my husband or something?”

Johnny’s eyes widen. “Husband? Oh, no, honey. We ain’t even gone on a date yet. I’d say, think of us as partners-in-crime.”

“Wait!” V blurts out, gasping. “I remember you. You’re from that band—Samurai, right? God, I used to listen to your songs a lot as a kid.”

“Huh, you told me you’d never heard of Samurai,” Johnny recalls, slightly entertained at this point. “Didn’t peg you as a fangirl, V. I’m flattered.”

“So, can I… y’know, get your autograph?”

Just before Johnny could continue playing around with a loopy V, Viktor strolls in with Misty in tow, both delighted to find the merc out of her prolonged slumber. He lingers by the foot of her bed as Vik explains to V what happened, but she doesn’t seem to be processing it. She stares at him, dazed, and Johnny wonders when she’ll be back to normal.

“The effects should go away in a few hours,” Vik informs Misty once he’s examined V. She’s healing nicely and isn’t complaining much, yet that could be because of all the painkillers she was jacked with. “I’d say watch over V until she can stand on her own two feet without tripping. Other than that, she’s good to go.”

“Where are we going?” a clueless V asks, looking back and forth between the two. “Is Johnny coming?”

Misty furrows her brow at her. “Johnny?”

“Yeah, mister sex on legs over there,” she points eagerly, and Johnny smirks at that. “I’m not done talking to him yet.”

Vik shakes his head before reminding Misty of the engram residing within V’s psyche. “Oh, yeah. Silverhand. Uh, I guess he could come, too. Don’t really have much of a choice there, doll.”

The walk back to V’s apartment was a journey in itself. Lucky for her, she was pushed in a wheelchair throughout it all as Johnny stays visible for her benefit. They reached the door just before the skies turned completely dark, the warmth and comfort of the room being somewhat familiar to V.

Misty carefully moves her onto the bed, propping her up with pillows behind her back before smoothing out the blankets covering her legs. Johnny observes from a distance, quiet in his pondering. He’s never seen V this vulnerable before. She’s always been incredibly independent, not to mention stubborn as hell. She won’t accept anyone’s help unless it’s dire, and even then, she’s reluctant to do so.

“You must be starving,” Misty comments once V is settled. “How about I get you somethin’ to eat downstairs. Better food than what’s here, if there’s any. Hang tight for a bit, ’kay?”

Nodding, Misty then heads out of the room, the front door sliding shut when she’s gone, leaving V in the presence of Johnny yet once again. He glitches to sit by the edge of the mattress as V stares at him incredulously. Her eyes shone what he could best describe as innocence; she truly has no clue of what they’ve gone through together in the previous months.

“Can you sing me a song?”

Johnny narrows his gaze, a small chuckle rumbling in his throat at her deliriousness. “I don’t do concerts anymore.”

“Oh, come on!” V pouts, almost child-like in her ways. “Pleeease?”

“No,” he refuses sternly before an idea comes to mind. “How about you sing to me? Said you were a fan. Give me a performance, and maybe I’ll consider it.”

V does not hesitate. On cue, she starts to serenade Johnny with one of Samurai’s greatest hits, going as far as imitating the gruffness of his voice. Off-beat and lyrics garbled, V belts out the tune confidently and loud enough that her irritated neighbors began banging on the wall, yelling at her to quit it.

She ignores them, of course.

Meanwhile, Johnny’s having the time of his life. It was quite endearing to him, although embarrassing for V if she later finds out about this. Yet, he doesn’t stop her. He encourages her even further by singing along, not giving a fuck in the world.

At the end of the song, Johnny laughs heartily along with V, who had crawled closer to him. Their eyes meet for a moment that seems to last longer than it actually did. His mouth quirks up in a smile, the kind of smile that was reserved for her and her alone.

“You’re pretty cool, Silverhand,” V mumbles sleepily, touching the cold surface of his chrome arm. Sighing, Johnny guides her drowsy self back under the covers, certain that she would crash in the next minute or two. “I think you should take me on a date. We’d be a hell of a couple together.”

“I think you’re going to regret everything that’s happened just now when you wake up in the morning,” he returns, and there was a slight pang in his chest.

V only hums in response, and he doubts he had even heard what he last said. It doesn’t matter, however. Johnny was sure she wouldn’t want to bring this up again.

---

“Fuck…” V exhales groggily, her blinking eyes wincing at the bright sunlight flooding into the room. She feels pain all over, her head throbbing immensely as she tries to gather memories of the day prior. It comes back in bits and pieces until suddenly, she remembers everything.

Everything.

“Good morning, princess,” Johnny greets after materializing before her, a cocky smirk plastered on his face. “How ya feelin’? Still loopy or need a little more refreshing from ‘mister sex on legs?’”

V’s reflexes are quick; Johnny doesn’t even register the pillow being hurled at him at first. He only realizes it when the empty glass bottles on the center table falls to the floor, shattering and making a mess.

“You’re lucky you’re just a hologram, right now,” V muttered as she stands up unsteadily.

Johnny holds his hands up. “You were the one who said it.”

Rolling her eyes, V reaches for the painkillers Misty left on the side. “Don’t remind me.”

“Alright, but at least let me tell you that you’ve got a shitty voice.”

“That’s why I don’t do karaoke,” V snorts before swallowing the pills and heading to the couch. “So, what do you think?”

“What do you mean?” Johnny questions.

“You, me, dinner?”

V waits for his reaction, smiling coyly at his confusion. When Johnny finally understands what she was referring to, he almost couldn’t believe it.

“Wait, are you fucking serious?”

She lets out a chortle. “Yeah, I’m serious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m mortified about last night, and I’m never going to let Vik knock me out with that stuff again. But hey, the truth came out. Might not have remembered you, but even while high as fuck, I knew I liked you.”

Briefly, they traded a look of longing, acknowledging at last this deeper connection they’ve felt for a while. It was much more than sharing a body, a mind. Something more profound than what Johnny and V have experienced before in their lives.

And though it was all entirely new to them, they both wanted it. They both wanted each other.

“Better get to it then,” Johnny flashes a grin, mirroring V’s own. “Wanna start with breakfast? Bet you’re hungry after skipping what Misty brought you, samurai.”

“Never going to live that one down, are ya?”

Shooting her a cheeky wink, Johnny throws on his stylish pair of aviators with ease.

“You bet your ass I’m not.”

Permanent Tags: @penwieldingdreamer @keandrews @feminine-machinegun @fanficsrusz @thehumanistsdiary @flaminasteroid @rowserein @unaspiringwritings @planetkt @breakthenight @baphometwolf666 @rdjloverxxx

Johnny Silverhand Tags: @silverse​ @overheardatthecontinental @life-is-fuucked @ataraxydreams

[kuraijen]

Arceus is a shitty manager: 1. recruitment

(this is a parody dialogue of the Pokemon Legends Arceus opening cutscene, there are some spoilers for PAL's story below

you have been warned)

*slap

Arceus: Waketh up

*slapslapslap

Arceus: Wakethup!

Dawn:(fatigued out of her mind) Ah hell, i'm up, i'm up

Arceus: Alright cool. Firsteth of all, salutations, tis I, GOD. Indeed thou must be disoriented.

Dawn: uhhh hi god. um, i'm... fine.

A: Hm, I kneweth thou hadst experience with our kind but thou got over that introduction much faster than I thought.

D: (exasperated sigh) yeah, well, it's all another tuesday for me. caught up in godly affairs and all.

A: Ah! Well-erm, I art sensing thou hast some repressed trauma revolving that topic, but no matter! How old art thee, like fifteen or something?

D: give or take?

A: Hm yes, give or take. Yea, 'tis old enough. I hast a job for thee, pipsqueak.

D: uh huh, what's new.

A: Mine wack-ass children are falling out of line and I needeth thee to kicketh their asses back into the conga.

D: dialga and palkia?

A: Indeed, those miniscule shites art trying to usurp my power. The main catch is they hideth in a separate past timeline where pokemon trainers doth not existeth yet to eliminate opposition. They thinketh they art SO smart for exploiting time gates. I art literally GOD, what made them think they could cowereth from me?

D: yeah speaking of which, why me? you're god so why don't you go stop them yourself?

A: Thou maketh a good point. I would do such if they did not already steal like half of mine mojo and could probably taketh the rest by proximity alone. Thou hast kicketh their asses before, though can doeth again.

D: ugh, fair enough. so you're sending me into the past?

A: Yeah.

D: is celebi gonna help me?

A: Nay. They art technically beneath Dialga's reign and if they pulleth some shit, I hast rigged them to explodeth immediately. Also art occupiedeth with some shit in Johto.

D: aren't they ALWAYS occupied with shit in johto?

A: Yeah.

D: Another question. do i get timetravel insurance? i don't to meddle with the space-time continuity if i'm being blasted into the past all samurai jack style.

A: uh, nay.

D: wha-?that's...not good though? what if i mess something up with the timeline or accidentally slip future information"

A: Nay, tis all good.

D: ?????

A: HAHA! Fucketh around with the space-time continuum to thine liking. I shall decree it as Palkia's and Dialga's responsibility to fix it as punishment.

D: ...alright then. do i at least get standard life insurance in case i face certain death or get mortally wounded?

A: no.

D: what the fuck?

A: Gotta preserver yon good old historical authenticity.

D: oh my fucking god.

A: Fie! Watcheth thine usage of that term!

D: oh my g- it's gonna be cool. it's all cool. being shot back into time, and possibly dying before my twenties. you love to see it.

A: Hm. I supposeth, as compensation for the sliver of remorse you managed to evoke from mine godly heart, I shall granteth thee a free new upgrade to thine smartphone so I may texteth thee when I feeleth like it. We can be like the besties who selfie on the social medias! I calleth it the Arc Phone! :)

D: (heads in hands) nnnoooooooooo...

A: alright then, have being the new-technically-old pokemon jesus! Bye!!!!

D: aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA-

*fade to white*

[therealtsk]

tsk i’m DYING to hear your play-by-play on which worm characters have dumb fanon interpretations

UH OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES so the short answer is pretty much every major character but I am a high-effort bitch so let's do this: Taylor Hebert: jfc, I could probably hit a word count limit talking about Taylor alone. First you have the dumb as shit TINO (Taylor In Name Only) phenomenon where people just straight up SI as Taylor but pretend it's her and she's basically a different person wearing Taylor's skin like an ill-fitting suit. Then there's the Memetic Escalator Taylor interpretation where Taylor's Warlord era characterization is flanderized so hard that she turns into her world's version of Doomguy where her response to literally everything is ultra violence, mutilation and torture and she can totally beat up anyone you guys hahah coin sock goes brrrrr you go brutalize those totally deserving victims queen. And then there's shy, stuttering, soft spoken "useless lesbian" Taylor which is not as common but still, fuckin straight men and the way they infantize gay women. Taylor is perhaps the most consistently inconsistent characterization I've seen in fandom, it's fucking wild Lisa Wilbourn: Has two fanon settings. Taylor's best friend who exists solely to give exposition and get the "Stop Coil" subplot rolling (occasional gay subtext will be added in a way that feels fetishy) Or, the evil bitchy blonde who is first target of the SI. I constantly wonder if the people who write the frankly masturbatory SI's are aware that we can tell they're still bitter about girls not dating them in highschool. Brian: basically does not exist in fic aside from the occasional joke cause racism and also because of how popular wlw ships are in Worm fandom. you deserve better dude Alec: has a few token appearances in wormfic fandom that usually have him as the comic relief alongside Aisha, which might actually be for the best considering he's a rapist and the Worm fandom's uhhhh tendencies. Moving on- Aisha: prankster girl that alt!Taylor will adopt as a younger sibling. hopefully is not part of the totally-not-a-harem considering she's even younger then the rest of these teens Bitch: Another girl to fall into alt!Taylor's definitely-not-a-harem, but with more butch tendencies. Basically has no personality in fanon outside of her dogs Parian: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOP FFS also another member of Taylor's totally-not-a-harem Flechette: yeah it's a harem Sophia: holy shit you think Brian's bad? The racism in pretty much every fanon depiction of Sophia is off the charts. Hyper-violent, super edgy, "predator/prey" speech inbound, will get humilated/killed in some new, supposedly satisfying but actually just deeply uncomfortable way, probably throw in some E88 shit too just because Emma: again, do the writers know we can tell they're still malding over the fact that the pretty girls in highschool didn't date them? fanon emma is pretty much a cardboard cut out of whoever was mean to the author. something something bitches three Madison: in fanon has a C53 fetish, occasionally is also Browbeat. don't ask why Victoria: gets hit with the blonde stereotypes even harder then Lisa, "Collateral Damage Barbie" is one of the phrases that activates my flight or fight responses. she basically is an entirely different character in fanon. bubbly dumb blonde girl with a massive temper and well other sexist bullshiit Amy: I hate even touching this character with a ten foot pole but basically is hit with the "soft useless lesbian" trope hard enough to make her into a completely separate person from her canon self. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate Carol: in fanon, an evil bitch who exists solely to bully Amy Mark: who? The rest of New Wave: cannon fodder for Leviathan Danny Hebert: literally stale milk instead of a personality, will probably die before the fic is over but we won't care because the author did not care either Armsmaster: hahaha robotman go brrrr or is an arrogant self-aggrandizing shit, can't interact with people without Dragon helping him 24/7 Miss Militia: fanon bat'd into team mom,

idk where this came from considering her first instinct upon seeing children is to pull out a gun holy shit wait is she actually Taylor's true mom- Velocity: canon fodder for levi Battery & Assault: sitcom wife, sitcom husband! please ignore how fucked up this relationship is if you look at it for more than two seconds Dauntless: haha armsy is JEALOUS also cannon fodder for levi Triumph: who? The BB wards in general tend to be incredibly bland, the only ones who have fanon personalities of note are Clockblocker and Vista. The former being such a huge prankster that every other line is a joke- or him complaining about how BULLSHIT Alt!Taylor's powers are. Vista is an angry kiddo who says that Shadow Stalker doesn't count as being a girl on the team The E88: no personality for any of them except that Kaiser is noble and really isn't that bad and also Purity did nothing wrong totally she's just a hot mom trying to do her best, please ignore how she exclusively targets characters of color and literally calls white criminals more civilized than miniorities- the worm fandom has something of a nazi problem i hate it here The ABB: racism and honorable samurai lung even though that has no canon basis so again, racist stereotypes The Slaughterhouse 9: This one makes me just as sad as the Lisa shit because dear god this is such a good cast of villains that fanon completely flattens to bowling pins for the Alt!Taylor of the week to mow down, why does this fandom suck so much. Anyway Jack is just the Joker, Crawler is masochistic, etc i'm moving on now The PRT/Protectorate as a whole: They are an evil paramilitary organization that pressgangs kids into signing up to become child soldiers, and somehow at the same time, they are a bunch of idiots who listen to the PR department and have stupid things like RULES that prevent capes from COMMITTING VIOLENCE. Being called "the biggest gang of all" is common and some shit like "at least the criminals are honest" is a likely statement. Cauldron: whoo boy this one really boils my blood but fanon Cauldron are just a bunch of evil idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces. basically a bunch of dudebros are upset that women run the world and that two of them essentially have "I win" powers so they have to make them lose to their SI- er, Taylor in fics so they can assuage their masculinity, which totally isn't pathetic Scion: Is at once the end all be all of worm you can't write a wormfic without scion or else it's TOTALLY MEANINGLESS because what is the point of a story if all the characters are going to DIE in a few years anyway, and at the same time is incredibly easy to defeat- this ties into how Cauldron is stupid. Scion Truthers pls shut up and go read something else okay I think that's everyone I would apologize but the only thing I'm sorry for is how messy this is

[appleb18]

Why Modern Cartoons is Not Great as it Used to be in this Decade

As 2010′s draw near to the end and begin a next-generation, cartoons have changed from being a fun episodic adventure with a meaningful message and can get dark sometimes to a story-driven show with deep messages. While cartoons have a great start in early 2010s such as Adventure Time, Regular Show, Gravity Falls, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, however as time passes cartoons are becoming less interesting and not many aren’t talking about it. So what the hell happened with modern cartoons? Let’s get to the bottom of what happened to this decade of cartoons and why isn’t anyone talking about it anymore 

The Animation Quality 

The quality of the animation of cartoons back in 2000′s were amazing, so many variations of animation styles that look very appealing such as 

Samurai Jack 

Avatar: The Last Airbender 

Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends 

Recess 

Proud Family and so many more

But now in modern cartoons, most cartoon shows are using a similar style of animation which many people called it “Calarts style”. Most cartoon shows are using because it’s cheap however it takes away creativity, more detail nor being organic. Look at Infinity Train, compare from the pilot to the release 

It looks very boring having most cartoons look the same. Then there’s artistic freedom where creators let them draw whatever they want such as Steven Universe and OK KO. That sounds good but really though it just looks lazy and unprofessional. This is very distracting that most characters go off-model every scene like why Rebecca and Ian-Jones Quarry think it was a good idea! 

Great to Below Average

So now let’s talk about the three shows that were once popular Steven Universe, Voltron, and Star vs The Forces of Evil. The trope I’ve been seeing as of late about these shows that it was pretty hype and they deliver on that. All they need to do is conclude it and call it a good cartoon but then crash and burned in later seasons. 

Steven Universe didn’t get popular until “Jailbreak” and that was when everyone was watching it. It had character development, an interesting world of gems, a gorgeous background and has one of the best soundtracks. This isn’t surprising because the creator is the same person who wrote Marceline episodes in Adventure Time which was Rebecca Sugar that created the series. Then season 4 and season 5 happened which the show drop in quality like mostly the show prefer showing filler which makes the plot go too fast and made arcs underwhelming, crystals gems and Lapis Lazuli and Peridot aren’t being used that much in the show and having each villain being beaten by simply talking to them. While there is Steven Universe Future but that hasn’t gotten interesting in my opinion. 

Star vs The Forces of Evil is a show used to be interesting for the two seasons and “Battle for Mewni” arc but then shipping drama got out of hand and that resulted to fell from grace 

Then there’s Voltron and we all how that turned out for the last two seasons

What these three have in common that they set up this interesting premise and world in the first few seasons but they all went downhill. Awful character writing, insane plot twist, and terrible pacing. I did wish that those shows would get better like how Adventure Time and Regular Show had one bad season but after that, they both got better but they didn’t and it went from being great to disappointingly average. 

Comedy Over Messages

Now that’s got the most hype shows, let’s talk about shows that not many people talk about because the premise and world aren’t engaging enough to watch and which they are We Bare Bears, Craig in the Creek, Clarence, OK KO, and The Loud House. While I’m not saying they aren’t bad but it is just not interesting to watch, it's just that it’s too tame and too comedic. The main issue I have it doesn’t really teach viewers like they used to anymore 

OK KO was about to talk about gun violence but they turn it into a comedy. In “Let’s Not Be Skeletons” people overuse the gun and resulting everyone to turn skeletons and KO tries to stop it but fails. By the end of the episode, it was a dream and calls Congress to stop it from happening. I really hate how writers of this episode of making a serious issue turn into comedy and that’s a pretty awful way of doing it. 

Look at Static Shock and Fat Albert, instead of making Gun Violence a joke, they talk about how serious it is by having someone shot and that devastated the characters a lot 

Then there's Hey Arnold, it really dives into serious issues such as 

“Pigeon Man” showcases that some people are meant to be with other people while others like Pigeon Man are just different and can’t be with other people. 

“Helga on the Couch” showcases Helga's anger issues and those issues manifest because her family ignores her because of her sister. Never truly cares for like no makes her lunch for school and no one brought her to school when she was a young girl. The only person that cares for was Arnold.

Then there’s my personal favorite, “Arnold Christmas”. Mr. Hyunh is always sad at Christmas and this episode revealed that he had a daughter and all he wanted was to see her grow up but there was a war coming near his village. In order to do so, he had to give her up so she can have a better life. It took 20 years to get out of the country and he almost gave up hope to find her until Helga helped Arnold to search for her and be reunited with her father. 

Modern cartoons don’t show those kinds of messages anymore and there’s something worse than that and I hate how cartoon shows keep doing this. 

Today’s Villains

I” ve been seeing a lot lately that the main antagonist isn't handled well in cartoons as of lately. Most villains have been getting redeemed lately and not paying their crimes. While show creatures try to make them sympathetic and the victim however it doesn’t excuse them for their crimes. 

White Diamond who caused multiple mass genocide on worlds, brainwash any gem that stands in her way and shatter gems gets easily defeated by simply getting talk to and just not gonna do it anymore because Steven said so. 

Mina Loveberry and her Mewni soldiers wanted to destroy monsters. When her and her army magic depleted, she just goes in the wilderness and no one stopped her. 

Moon Butterfly helped Mina create her soldiers so she can retake the throne from Ecipsa. Instead of having the monsters and her surrendering the throne that she was attending to do, however, her plan backfired when Mewni Soldiers and Mina wanted to kill all the monsters. Why didn’t Moon saw that coming, they were clearly racist against them. Then by the end of the show, she never once apologized for what she has done. 

Starlight Glimmer created a cult that no one has cutie marks until the mane six defeated her in “Cutie Map” She returns and her revenge on Twilight by going back in time and making sure Rainbow Dash doesn’t perform the Sonic Rainboom. After multiple going to multiple timelines, she finally catches up to her and then her tragic backstory been revealed and it was very disappointing. The reason she caused all of this because her friend moved away and that’s it. That’s not all, instead of her facing her crimes like most villains such as Tirek or Queen Chrysalis, she gets off the hook and she became friends with Twilight in a matter of minutes 

A good example of a good antagonist is Aku from Samurai Jack. When he first appeared in the show, he’s pure evil, destroying anything that stood in his way and ruling over the weak but as the show progresses, the serious villain became more comedic villain but that doesn’t mean he’s a silly character, he’s far from that. He’s still all-powerful and should be taken seriously. This is what I want from a villain.  He’s powerful, he’s truly evil and has a personality. 

Villains can be sympathetic and relatable however shouldn’t be forgiven so easily. When a character crosses the line by taking multiple innocent lives should never be redeemed, even if they have a sad backstory 

Cartoons lately have become less popular in this past decade, the glaring problems about cartoons are its animation, comedy over messages, messy plots, and terrible villain. People will only talk about cartoons from the late ’80s to 2012. I’m afraid that this day of age that it isn’t appealing anymore than in previous years. The only animation that people will talk about is anime shows which I can’t lie, is far superior to cartoons as of now. I feel that the only way it can make it back on top is it needs something like Adventure Time or Gravity Falls moment that reinvent it more relevant and view to modern audiences. I really do like to watch cartoon shows for animation, message, and characters but I keep seeing issues in modern cartoons and I hope that it will change in the future. 

[alienahellsparkle]

❦ List fandoms of my heart: №3 (the last).

✯ Kuroshitsuji (Dark Butler)

This anime is my guide to the world of anime, my first of all, and the first that I liked. In addition, I have been watching it since I was 13 (omg, how old I am..).

I can say, from it I learned what anime is. It is one of my favorites and one of those that I can revisit (P.S .: And I'm still waiting for the new season or new full-length films, although no one said anything or promised anything about it).

The advantages of this anime are - interesting plots, 19th century setting mixed with the supernatural, soundtracks and a huge number of different characters for every taste. As I can tell, everyone will find their ideal 2D kun or chan here.

I could single out a lot of cool characters, but I'm afraid they could be spoilers too, so I'll just mention a few of my personal favorites.

Sebastian is a demon butler and another protagonist besides Ciel. A jack of all trades, a cool killer and one of the most real handsome men who stole many hearts from the female audience, who is in many similar tops and sometimes even has leading positions. I can say that he was my very first anime - love.

Prince Soma is an Indian prince. I don't know how many fans he has, but I think not as many as Sebastian and Ciel. Actually, Soma is the one who attracted me much more and my love for Sebastian did not last forever. This is because Soma, in addition to being beautiful and Indian (which was important to me as a lover of Bollywood films and music, and also interested in Indian culture), has a sweet and good personality. Three combos!

Madame Red is a bright woman with a difficult fate. I guess there isn't much more to say here (spoilers, spoilers, damn it).

Pluto is a devilish dog. Cutie, charming, with one cool ability and mine another anime-love (those who know this character and his unusual ability - yes - yes, I know it's weird to fall in love with characters like him).

As I said, the soundtracks are wonderful - some of the tunes have some classic notes in them, and also, the opening can be recognized from a thousand and it is easy to remember which anime it belongs to.

Also, there are elements of detective and crime, which also adds its own special shades and makes this anime even more interesting and aesthetically pleasing.

I look forward to continuing with it and begin to show interest in anime of a similar genre and setting in one (I found something similar, for example, as "House of Shadows").

✯ Dame x Prince 

Another anime that became my find and I can watch it many times. I liked it so much that after I found it (in 2018 it was a spring novelty), I watched almost all the episodes in one gulp and only later realized that it ends too quickly, because I could not stop in time.

This anime contains everything that I love about the reverse - harems - beautiful drawing, bright colors, romance, elements of comedy and fantasy, attractive male characters and not a stupid main character who can be respected.

We can say that Ani is one of the few normal owners of a harem, but she can be considered a diamond among them. She is encouraged by her courage and the fact that she is not embarrassed when guys compliment her or try to flirt (I could say more about her, but these will be spoilers).

Despite the fact that here the male characters are clichéd, for example - a kind cutie, handsome womanizer, narcissistic rude and so on, they look cool and interesting to watch, it's a pity that we will never know which of them Ani chose in the end.

In addition, there is one more plus in the form of a good plot, after which it helps some characters to reveal themselves.

Even if many people do not always take girly harem animes well and consider them worthless and empty, just to please teenage girls with cute romance in a colorful wrapper, this anime genre also deserves a place to be. Who knows, maybe soon the reverse - harems will evolve even more, at least there are already some anime-worthy options. Everything has its fans..

In general, this is a good and positive anime that can bring more colors to life. And I still hope for season 2.. 

✯ Nanbaka

When you watch a video on the topic: "Guess the gender of anime characters", you will not think that in this way you will be able to discover a new anime. That's how I found out about Nanbaka, after which I watched the first season in a couple of days.

I associate this anime with the beginning of July 2018 and the dairy drinks Twix, Milky Way and Snickers, which at that time I was finally able to taste.

Nanbaka has several advantages - a cool variety of characters, an element of comedy, and an equally vibrant color scheme. Also, I noticed that all characters have their own special difference - they all have nails painted in a different color and have small fangs.

Despite the fact that there is no romance here and the plot is built around a prison theme, Nanbaka is quite interesting to watch, and in some episodes there are elements of drama and seriousness. However, if the first season is more comical situations, then the second season is a little more serious, at least there are more problems that the heroes solve.

Of the characters, there are not only bisonens and heroes with simple qualities including kindness, cuteness, foolishness, signs of a womanizer, hot temper and severity, but there are also unexpected specimens, such as several LGBTQ characters and even antagonists.

Unfortunately, Nanbaka is not a very popular fandom and most likely there will never be a third season... But this is another solid anime that can be endlessly watched and is one of those that drags on from the first episodes.

✯ Romance Club

This visual novel often came across to me in YouTube recommendations, in the form of walkthroughs and analysis of Easter eggs from it.

At first, I was not very interested in this, and from the video, my first impression was that this is just an incomprehensible game with characters similar to cardboard figures, but for some reason it became very popular and discussed on social networks.

After some time, I still began to watch the walkthroughs and more or less began to understand what the whole highlight of the game is, and after that, I began to play myself, though at the beginning, then, I had only a plan to while away the rest of summer time until autumn, but I didn’t notice how I began to be drawn into the RC and it became not just a game for one time, it became a habit that is difficult to get rid of.

Now, it's not just a bunch of pretty cardboard character figurines and a joke that RC is a mix of films like "50 Shades of Gray" and "Twilight", made for teenage girls.

Romance Club is - characters for every taste, from whites and Europeans, to Hispanics and Asians, both boys and girls. LGBTQ relationships have not been forgotten here either.

Various stories with any setting - vampires + werewolves, pirates, aliens, 19th-18th century, royal setting, movie stars and fame, Scandinavian mythology, ancient Greek mythology, sea and beach setting, detectives and crime, ancient Japan (geisha and samurai) , angels and demons, everyday life and much more, but the creators continue to delight us with new stories to this day, and I think we still have a lot to see.

Beautiful graphics and drawing of characters, cool design of clothes, and also, here you can learn how to beautifully compose texts and sentences (let's say this can be useful for the writing sphere), since some stories contain wonderful descriptions of some scenes and comparisons of concepts (example. "Stars as luminous points," and the like).

But besides romance, other important topics can be revealed here, such as the concept of friendship, a hard life due to many problems, courage and self-confidence, and sometimes even 18+ topics can be touched upon. In addition, some stories have instructive facts, for example, something about the history of Turkey during the Ottoman Empire. 

Romance Club is scientifically enlightening!

Despite the fact that I refused to play games, since they take a lot of time, during which you can do a bunch of other useful things, RC is the only game (besides the Sims) on which I do not regret wasting my time and it is always interesting to watch new stories and how the old ones will end.

(P.S.: 

here is part 1 https://lenahellsparkle.tumblr.com/post/650656683336548352/list-fandoms-of-my-heart-1

part 2 https://lenahellsparkle.tumblr.com/post/655103141583470593/list-fandoms-of-my-heart-2)

[ao3-sucks]

An Archive of Someone’s Own: my experiences being groomed in fandom circles on AO3

TW: Childhood sexual abuse, grooming, mentions of incest and rape.

I used to be a big writer of fanfiction. It was the logical choice for me. I loved to write and create bold and immersive worlds, and I craved an audience who would enjoy my work as much as I did. Since my writing wasn’t actually good, I needed a community of other amateurs who wouldn’t mind that, and by tweaking my characters and settings into ones from canonical media, I got the audience I so craved.

I started writing fanfiction online when I was 14, posting initially on FanFiction.net and then moving to AO3 a few months later. As I got back into writing original fiction towards the end of high school, I lost interest in this community, and it’s been a long time since I posted anything much on AO3.

I’ve always struggled with the fact I display a lot of symptoms of CSA, and for the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why. Throughout my teen years, I refused to get changed or bathe when anyone was even vaguely nearby, constantly paranoid about being spied on; I developed a severe touch phobia, and would have frequent panic attacks from something as small as brushing arms with a passerby; I resolutely identified as asexual and refused to get into anything resembling a relationship with others because the very concept disgusted and repulsed me.

Weird, considering I had grown up pretty normal and all of these symptoms had started around my early teens. It was only when I told my friends about my friendship with a 30 year old I had met online that the pieces started falling into place for me.

Child grooming is usually discussed in the context of one adult going out of their way to befriend a child with the goal of lowering their resistance to sexual abuse, through normalisation and friendliness. I’d like to talk about how that worked on the fanfiction website AO3. Since it’s an open website and most communication takes place between anonymous users or accounts in the comments section of a work, there is very little delineation between spaces for adults to discuss whatever dark topics they like and spaces for kids to do the same.

This frequently leads to pretty inappropriate conversations between people of widely varying ages and life experiences, which is how I ended up talking sex as a fourteen year old with people ranging from a couple of years older than me, who were generally okay, to more than twice my age. The 30 year old in question listed on her profile how many pedophilic ships she loved, and she knew my age but pushed me to keep discussing sexual topics with her. Sounds like a red flag, yeah? Well. I was 14, and very stupid.

This 30 year old woman, who I will call Aku (because it’s similar to her screen name and because it’s funny to name her after the bad guy from Samurai Jack) would start conversations with me whenever I posted anything to AO3 and would refuse to take no for an answer when I tried to back out of conversations with her, and since these conversations were public and occurring within comments, I didn’t want to be rude to her since this was taking place on content I was trying to promote.

I told her my age multiple times and she would either pretend she forgot from last time (saying her memory is super bad) or continue as though it was just trivia about me and not a sign she shouldn’t have been pushing me. My primary objection to what she would say to me (since most of it was just her being annoying) was her insistence on sexualising everything I wrote, and her determination to push me into writing pornographic content, which I eventually gave in to.

Yes, she was a terrible person. She emailed me using her personal email address, so I know her full name and place of residence, because she’s an idiot. These emails also contain sexually explicit materials. Nothing much ever happened between us except for these very creepy interactions and the fact we remained online friends for a few years. But here’s the thing: she wasn’t the only person pushing me into creating sexual content. Lots of people would comment on my writing demanding that I show explicit sexual content when I really didn’t want to.

After a while it felt like I couldn’t write a longer, romantic fanfiction without including explicit sexual content. Like my work wasn’t valid without it. Other, more popular writers were usually sexual in their content, and I wanted to be like them and bring in the views, right? So, when I look at my back catalog of works, I can see how my content moved from completely non-sexual to featuring sexual content over time, and the views usually came with. In this way, I was in an environment that was encouraging me on many levels to sexualise my own work, which impacted the way I thought about my creative process.

Here’s another example I remember. When I was a young sprout, I remember reading down someone’s list of fanfiction recommendations and seeing a work called Hug Therapy, which I promptly read. While the work is marked as explicit and containing the Loki/Thor pairing, the use of relationship and rating tags on AO3 is so poorly regulated that it didn’t really mean anything to me to see either of those. People tag hardcore material as non-explicit and tag friendships as relationships, because there’s no motivation to tag properly. Plus, someone I followed here on Tumblr had recommended it to me.

Now, you wouldn’t know from the listing, but while this piece starts out as comedy, it turns out in the end to include rape, incest, and BDSM in very explicit terms. The fact it was tagged as being explicit didn’t slow me down, because the liberal use of these tags could mean that an explicit tag was just there because sexual content was implied or mentioned, which I thought would be the case based on the rest of the listing. Out of curiosity, I recently tried to report this work to the moderators for containing no warnings about incest or rape, and I got this in response:

“Selecting “Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings” satisfies a creator’s obligation under the warnings policy. Users who wish to avoid specific elements entirely should not access fanworks marked with “Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings”. Our Terms of Service note: “You understand that using the Archive may expose you to material that is offensive, triggering, erroneous, sexually explicit, indecent, blasphemous, objectionable, grammatically incorrect, or badly spelled. ….. This decision is in accordance with our policy of maximum inclusiveness; we have therefore closed this case and will not be investigating further.”

Which, yeah, I guess. The frustration comes from how ‘Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings’ is an extremely commonly used tag, and most things that it’s used on are totally harmless.

This fanfiction, which I was recommended by a friend, is hugely popular, in the top 60 most read fanfictions in the entire fandom. You wanna hear the kicker? The author, Astolat, is one of the founders of AO3. They’re not just some random author who isn’t following the rules. They’re a creator of the whole website, and they made the rules. This is pretty telling about how seriously the website actually takes protecting their users.

My final example I want to give is one of fetish content. People in fetish communities generally (not always) say that fetishes are probably something one should work up to after the onset of sexual activity, especially potentially harmful stuff like BDSM. In the circles I was running in, if you weren’t sporting a fetish or two (no matter your age) you were a boring bitch.

Maybe this isn’t true of everywhere in the fanfiction community, but I used to feel that bizarre pressure until I got out. Bear in mind that my main time in this community was from ages 14 to 17. I never made my age a secret, either. I told people outright I was that age, I was in high school, I was playing hockey and studying The Great Gatsby when I wasn’t online.

Since I was in the Avengers fandom and I liked Loki and the Asgardians, I was frequently exposed to incestuous content between Loki and Thor, and a lot of it came out of nowhere or was poorly tagged. This was considered the norm, and while I at first felt completely horrified and repulsed, within a year or two I no longer gave a shit. It’s only in the last few years as I’ve begun to unpack everything that I’ve started to get that strong revulsion reaction to incestuous content.

In the circles I was in, it was relentlessly normal. Normal to the point that people who disliked it were usually shouted down. Even to this day, debate rages on in fandom spaces about whether or not content like this normalises this kind of abuse. In my own personal experience, which I don’t usually like to talk about, it absolutely does.

In real life, this normalisation started to have serious consequences for my mental health and interpersonal relationships. In fanfiction, any occasion when you are alone with someone could become sexual, any familial relationship is possibly sexual, and it doesn’t matter if you like it or not. I became incredibly anxious around male family members for fear of being sexually assaulted, and my OCD, which I had been developing since I was a child, turned from thoughts of physical violence to thoughts of graphically sexually assaulted by anyone and everyone around me.

My fear of being touched got to the point where I would have panic attacks if anyone came anywhere close to touching me. I quit sports, fucked up my romantic relationships, and didn’t hug anyone, not even members of my family, for years. All the while, I had bought my first laptop and was consuming more fanfiction than ever before. I struggled with my sexuality growing up, as I am bisexual, and while fanfiction provided LGBT content to help me, the content was frequently so disturbing that I viewed any expression of sexuality as something evil and predatory.

The community on AO3, whether you like it or not, is often sexual, and provides no barriers between the casual user looking for content and extremely intense fetish material. It’s sometimes called the Pornhub of fanfiction, but considering the wide range of people who use it, it’s more like if you opened Youtube and saw niche hardcore fetish videos just on the front page, recommended and trending.

Sure, you have to click a little button to confirm you’re 18 before you can actually read a story, but the tags and descriptions of readily available works can be extremely explicit. Fanfiction also brings you into close contact with fellow readers and the author, and encourages you to become a content creator, which in some ways makes it more dangerous.

I was affected much more strongly by what I saw than most people would be, because I was already treading shaky ground. But I’m also not the only person out there who has been hurt in this way. Most of my friends who grew up in fandom can report the impact that fanfiction culture had on them. One of my friends from high school knew a panoply of porn terms at age 14 or so due to reading fanfiction, and another of my other friends at high school almost exclusively read rape porn because it was her favourite. I didn’t have friends who watched porn; I had friends who read fanfiction. These are just as troubling to me as any other accounts of young people consuming visual porn from a very early age.

It’s frequently cited that fanfiction gives minority groups the opportunity for creative outlet. It was a great place for me to cut my teeth as a content creator, and a source of acceptance and kindness when times were tough. Fanfiction communities have historically been the domain of women and minorities, and create a space for these people to tell their own stories.

It’s largely because of this that fanfiction communities fear censorship and strict moderation, as they have been attacked in the past on homophobic or misogynistic grounds, resulting in mass deletions of works or the shutdown of websites. But there must be some middle ground between total censorship and the kind of free rein that puts vulnerable people in danger, and I strongly encourage the board of AO3 to seek this middle ground out.

But it’s the community itself that needs to shape up; AO3 is, after all, a community-led website built by fans for fans, so the fact that this website has such issues is a reflection of the issues that run deeply within the people who created it. Aku didn’t talk to me with the intention of doing me harm, or so I believe at this time, and she didn’t pursue me as a lone wolf or in isolation.

She was simply a particularly brazen member of a community that was used to having inappropriate conversations with young people and sexualising everything they did. Even people my own age were jokingly pushing me into discussing and consuming extremely sexual content. It was just normal. That’s what I want to say here. Inside the world of fandom on AO3, the grooming of children with sexual content is normal. And that’s scary.

- Mod Daft

[pallasperilous]

Piledriver

Dean/Castiel 1815 words Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair Coda, Fix-It (sort of), Grief is a weird and protean beast, Second Person POV, but also Dean POV, I realize what a tall order that is y’all but I swear it’s mad judicious {AO3 version}

You’re not really sure when you started doing it.

That’s a fucking lie. 

You started doing it ten, maybe twenty minutes after. 

Not as a conscious thing, not like those snappy comebacks you think of the next day, or like those speeches you practice in your head and then never get the chance to deliver. (Although it seems like other people have better luck in that regard.) 

It’s more like a tic — like the way Sam used to pick at his hand, or your mom used to hum the same little bit of Stairway to Heaven offkey. (Which was kind of a trip since she’d come back from, you know. There.)

You think: I love you, too. 

 It’s just a drumbeat of syllables running in the back of your head. Might as well be shave and a haircut. Which you could use, incidentally.

It eases off a little, after the universe ticks over. You’re so fucking relieved that you basically revert to a lower life form for awhile — you’re like a jellyfish, or a fungus, or a Yankees fan. For a few minutes there, things are pretty sweet.  

Then the clock starts running again, and you and Sam are faced with the frankly fucked-up necessity of needing a hot meal and somewhere to pee. 

It kicks back in then — during the peeing, specifically, because goddamn did the dude never get over what a fucking nightmare it is to have a bladder. Like it actually made him mad. Even after he got his batteries back and was once more able to, like, effervesce fluids out of his body or teleport them to the surface of Mars or whatever, he never stopped giving you pitying looks whenever he got up to use the can. On the road he’d ask if anybody needed a bathroom break at every single freeway exit. You chewed him out once that you in fact were not a four year-old or an Alzheimer’s patient and could therefore hold it for more than twenty minutes at a time, and he looked at you with such bottomless patience and empathy that you could’ve thrown him out of the fucking car. I love you too.

Instead of a heartbeat, it’s like a piledriver hitting the ground ten feet away.  

I love you too. It rattles your fucking thighs as you wash your hands in the gas station bathroom. None of the other dudes do because dudes are fucking disgusting. This attitude was maybe part of the problem.

I love you too. You come out and the car’s moved and you have a hot second of freakout, then you see Sam’s just pulled it away from the pump and parked in the lot and honest to God (go team!) you almost burst into tears. What the fuck.

I love you, too. 

That night you do your absolute best to lobotomize yourself (not to obliterate yourself, which is a sign of progress and for which effort you absolutely deserve a round of applause from…somebody), but the piledriver just keeps on pounding away and you realize that it’s either piledrive or get piledriven. Sam’s asleep six feet away after his own inpatient procedure but you’re really fucking starting to panic so you say it out loud, anyway. 

I love you, too.

And something gives, eases off like a gas bubble turning a corner in your gut, and you pass out.

So you lean into it. You make it your thing. You figure you can either be losing your mind, or practicing, so you choose practicing. You’re showing the powers that be that you’re keeping the faith. You’re holding a torch.  You’re being the change you want to see in the world. You’ve talked to coma patients before and you’ve prayed to this asshole before and this isn’t any different. Isn’t it?

Washing the dishes: I love you, too.

Checking the oil: I love you, too.

Swinging a machete and hitting that sweet spot between vertebrae where the head just pops right off, like a Lego dude: I love you, too. 

Pulling on socks: I love you, too.

Burning that fucking jacket: I love you, too.

Not out loud, or at least, not where anybody can hear you. That would be weird.

And you know, you know, that he doesn’t hear you, either. You know that, worst of all, he didn’t even need to hear it. You’ve heard a lot of shit about unconditional love, but it’s never had any goddamn appeal to you because, what? Somebody loves you the same no matter what fucked up shit you do, no matter how you feel about them? 

That’s either (a) some seriously poisoned Kool-Aid or (b) so huge it’s useless, like giving somebody a galaxy for their birthday. You want unconditional love? Get a fucking dog. 

I love you, too.

Lately you’ve been swapping in phrases that have the same rhythm or meter or whatever, so you can say them out loud without worrying anybody more than usual. The rain in Spain does some heavy lifting for a couple weeks, then ba-DUMP-bump, tissshh! followed by the king of beers for about half a particularly shitty afternoon and then closing out with you bet your ass, which is a much better fit for your lifestyle. 

So fine, great. Life goes on. You were the subject of his unconditional cosmic love-boner whatever and getting that off his chest was all he needed to go happily fucking off into the abyss. And you’re still down here (up here? over here?), drinking coffee and hating Mondays. Awesome. I love you, too.

This is around when you discover the best match for both meter and tone yet, one so close that it doesn’t even feel like a placebo for the real phrase. It’s a whole different drug, actually. It makes you feel like a million bucks, it’s absolute rocket fuel. If the original is whiskey, this shit is meth. You turn a whole nest of ghouls into one big ghoul smoothie and then at the bar later somebody nervously informs you that you were yelling it out loud the whole damn time. 

The phrase is: go fuck yourself.

You imagine it at night, lying in the empty bed, your pulse hammering in time: him standing there, one big cow-eyed khaki rumple, and you yell: Go fuck yourself. You asshole. You bastard. You smug piece of shit. Go fuck yourself. How many times have we done this, and every fucking time you find a way to make it worse. Go fuck yourself.

I love you, too.

After a few weeks it loses its edge. You kinda knew it would, having some experience with the limits of amphetamines and your own rage-juice glands. It downgrades from a battle-cry to a slur. At some point you realize you’re not even saying it to him anymore. You’re saying it to you. Go fuck yourself.

You try to imagine him saying it instead. Go fuck yourself,  in that nutso Sam the Eagle voice that he must’ve gotten out of a box of Cracker Jacks, because it sure didn’t come complimentary with Jimmy Novak’s dry-ass mouth.  Go fuck yourself, Dean.

Somehow it’s still the nicest thing anybody’s ever said to you. 

So you go back to the OG version, and this time it feels like it settles in. You do whatever the psychological equivalent is of buying it a dog bed and a food dish and a leash, and you take it out for walkies whenever it starts to chew on the furniture. I love you, too. 

You get so used to its presence that sometimes you even forget it’s there. You’re joking around with Sam, eating sandwiches at some picnic grounds on the way to Sioux Falls for a social visit, and you say some dumb thing to him, who knows about what. Sam rolls his eyes and shakes his head in disgust as required by the kid brother certification board and snorts “I love you, man,” in the way that means how are you even allowed to exist, and you answer “I love you, too,” in the way that means I love you, too.

Sam has seen a lot of wild shit, but the look on his face after that is a brand new one to you. 

“Checkmate, asshole,” you say, in case he’s worried you’re gonna off yourself in the bathroom or something.

 You do get to say it, eventually. 

Like most things in life, it happens after you’ve totally given up, and then totally given up giving up, and have achieved the spiritual equivalent of that shrug emoji Claire sends you sometimes. When the phrase is well past thinking about, when the words don’t even carry any meaning anymore; they’re like the thought version of blinking, or swallowing. A background process, until something flies into your eyeball or you try to breathe a tortilla chip.

So the tortilla chip shows up one day. Don’t worry too much about the details here, just take it for granted that it either required a heroic effort of years that nearly broke you, or that he just showed up unsolicited on the porch like a copy of The Watchtower. Or maybe you’re both dead; seriously, who cares, because regardless — he’s there, and you’re there, and for awhile other people are there too, but eventually they go away. 

And it’s him, and it’s you. And if you hadn’t absolutely digested this thing in advance, if you hadn’t broken each word down into its atomic particles and cut and pasted them into your DNA so that 45th century forensic anthropologists from Mars could extract it from a fragment of the the mummified marrow of your left ass-bone, you might’ve said something else. 

You said: “I love you, too.”

You realize, in the moment after you say it, that you have reached the limits of your preparations. You’re a samurai with a single move; you’re the cannon in the 1812 Overture; your photo’s in the dictionary under one-trick pony and you’ve got frosted tips and you’re blinking. 

You say it again, and then a third time, and a lot of times after that. You keep saying it, for years, in varying degrees of franticness and horniness and happiness and honestly still-fucking-angriness and whatever else is on special that week. You say it to his face and to his dick and to his back and to the mere concept of him well after he’s left the room, left the state, left the dimension. Eventually you stop bothering to say anything else to each other. There are maybe half a million words in your native language, according to Sam, who uses them all, and with everybody else you keep on using the two hundred or so you feel confident about. 

But with Castiel, you make do with just the four.

I love you.

I love you, too.