#did i just write trans Bee? i think i did

[moonlight-tmd]

Okay, i know i’ll explore more of this but i want to hear your thoughts on this too.

Femme frame bumblebee? He’s still a mech but he’s definitely built with the aft and curves of a femme and even has heel struts instead of regular pedes. He knows he’s built and his frame compliments his doorwings.

He usually wears a bulky over armor but it gets damaged in battle and breaks off revealing him in the heat of a battle that just stops?

His teams reaction?

Blitzwings reaction?

Before or after they start dating. If after blitzwing didn’t know b/c bee has trauma.

oooh i get it, like @toxxicpill design. I always imagined him a little feminine, just more blocky instead of smooth curves.

hmm, i mean, sure he would be a bit curvy, the doorwings are a nice touch for him cough happy flutters cough cough. I am a little disappointed that they decided to gender the robots but eh, 2000's cartoons i guess.

He is a bit curvy on top of the blocky frame, the heeled pedes are not uncommon, i mean Prowl has these- he kinda looks like Elita overall, his subspace is moved down to cover his aft in this since he has doorwings (yes it does look like earth bumblebee's abdonmen). Yes, he does wear additional armor to apprear more bulky over his chassis and shoulders, he doesn't like how everyone kept staring at his chassis. I always imagine Bee and Prowl are almost the same height, only that Prowl is few inches taller and way slimmer than Bee (I mean, he is a motorbike. They are rather small, even when compared to tiny cars). So without the top armor, Bee is almost half the width he was.

I imagine the only one who'll know is Ratchet. I mean, he fixes Bee all the time and there is no way he wouldn't know that the upper part of Bee's armor is not his original frame. Ratchet is a medic, he's not gonna judge anyone- well, unless you say or do something stupid. Then he's gonna judge you all he wants.

So yeh, bots and cons fight over Allspark shard- idk, maybe some stray blaster shot hits him on the chassis and the thing breaks, it's not completely broken but heavily damaged. Now, this is a battlefield. I don't think anyone would stop to look at Bee's badongahonkas, especially when there's such an important item involved.

After that, sure the team is surprised that Bee's frame is actually different from what they see so often but nobody hates him for it. They're not homo/trans/any lgbt+-phobic. And they don't have genders in the first place, everyone chooses how they want to portray themselves.

When his additional armor is being fixed, there's not much of a change. Sure, others throw glances at him more often but nothing else- the only one to have a visible reaction would be Optimus. Bee already reminded him of Elita when he met him, and seeing Bee look even more like Elita is weird, if it isn't raising some questions... he almost slips and calls him Elita.

Sari thinks Bee looks pretty, and may or may not be trying to get him more armor pieces like that so he can be a full-blown knight.

The repair was quick so no Elite Guard reaction- but if they were to witness this, Sentinel would be the first afthole to stare at Bee's chassis as if to take that armor off with his processor power. Jettwins and Jazz would have respect and try to keep SP away from the young bot- as they always do, just this time the reason is different. They all have no idea how Sentinel can be so awful and still keep his job...

Now you want Blitzy's reaction, alright.

That stray blaster shot might have been his and he struck Bee on accident. He does catch a quick look at Bee's slim frame before his team calls on retreat. If they weren't dating then he would be a little bit pervy in his mind, he wouldn't bring it up with the scout tho, he's not sexist.

If they were dating, he would wonder why Bee didn't tell him. He asks about it the next meeting they have- Bee's armor has been fixed by then. Sure enough, Bee confesses that he was forged a femme but decided to be a He. He wears additional armor because he didn't have credits for changing his frame type and had enough of other bots calling him and grabbing him rudely. Wasp was one of those bots, he harrased Bee with no mercy until Longarm saved him.

Blitz feels both sorry and hella ANGY. How could anyone treat his precious hummel like that?! And they say Decepticons are evil- if anyone is racist, sexist and disrespectful about such basic things as appearance and behavior, it's the Autobots. The 'cons murder everyone equally, not just the "freaks".

Once Bee gains enough confidence then he'd show Blitzwing his real frame. And Blitzwing will have some pervy thoughts he'd keep to himself only. He loves Bee, and seeing him even smaller than how he was already is adorable. Blitz is the only one that Bee lets grab him like that. And Blitzwing can't help but admit his hummel's chassis is a great pillow.

[solar4seekstron]

Transformers One x reader: Awakening Chapter Four

Chapter 4: Especially when he was unconscious!

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Optimus Prime Ending, Megatrons Ending, Elita Ones Ending, B-127 Ending, Bonus+ Deadlocks Ending

Transformers One x Cybertronian!GN!reader

Tw/Tags: non?? D trust reader a bit more, it was hard to add Elita and B scenes I’m trying. That should be all

(Chapter 4 is here! I had a little more fun for this episode I knew what I wanted to have happen between D and Y/N and yes he’s my favorite (Besides OP and B shut up) and i wanted to show the bit of change we witness in D before his fight with Starscream,. Figured it’ll be right to add it where I did.. I will go back to writing more for Elita but it’s hard to write without it taking out of the story much since honestly Elita feels a little too less developed then the other three. I’m trying guys. I did add that small moment with Shockwave and Soundwave with thee reader just to add something there with the two. Hopefully in the second movie that I’m sure we’ll get eventually will follow the]m and starscream a bit more so fingers crossed. Anyway that should be all I hope you all enjoy this long chapter.)

“They found us!”

The five looked around scared.

“Oh yes, time to fight back!”

”D wait we must-

“No! You must return to Iacon City and alert everyone! Embedded in this are the records I have shown you. Use it to reveal the truth.”

“We will.”

“This tunnel leads to the mountains. Cybertrons future is in your hands.”

“We’re out of time. We gotta move!”

The three of them start running. Orion would follow but then stop to look back at Trion

“Wait! Wait! We can’t just leave you here!”

”Come with us!”

“Your fight will come my friends. Primus has a purpose for us all. But this fight. This fight is mine. Now go!”

The five would then continue their run as Trion stands and waits for the fight. His back to them. Soon parts of the cave collapses and soldiers of sentinel appear with guns. Soon causing smoke then pointing their guns at Trion

“Stand down. Old timer.”

“Ah. Old you say?”

Trion would then use his powers. Transforming and attacking th the guards giving Orion and the others time to escape

“Not too old for you.”

But when he looks up he is then attacked by Airachnid who pins him down

“We need to hurry!”

“I still think we have better odds fighting than out running them.”

“Wait! We have cogs! We can transform now.”

“That’s right! Everyone ready?”

“I was born ready!”

“On three! One-“

From there they fall. The gang then struggling with parts of their bodies transforming. As the others struggled Y/Ns blades started spinning which caused them to trip and spin side ways because of the blades down the hill. Going up and down in short and hard bumps. Their body spinning along.

“Hey I got- woah! Help HELP!!!!”

“How do we use these things?!”

“I don't know! Just try!”

“It’s working haha! It’s work- My head. My head! Help! Help!”

“This is not faster!”

“Come On!”

“Aaaand- Transform!! Wheels! I need Wheels!”

Once in the forest deeper three guards would stop in front of them shooting. The five then keep running then once in mid air they all transform hitting the guards. Bee would then hit a rock breaking his stop being in vehicle mode still

“Oh yeah we’re alive!”

The four would then talk to each other super excited. Not noticing the guard behind Orion pointing their blaster until the guard is then shot and flown back. D coming in and landing on the guard as he laughs

“Yes!”

“Hey woah buddy. You ok?”

“I’m great! Are you kidding me? We can transform! We. Trans. Form!”

“Wait I-I- I know. I know.”

“We’re wasting time. We have to get back to Iacon.”

“Looks like the fastest way back to Iacon i-“

“Here I got it!”

“Woah hey what are you doing?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah but our proof is inside and you’re spilling it everywhere.”

D would then turn to face Orion and in a low voice speaks as he stares Orion down and stares closer. Elita and B watching in shock as well.

“I. Got. It.”

“Ok.”

D would look at Orion for a moment more. Looking at the map and then the others. D and Y/N making eye contact. Y/N was unsure as they then look down and a bit of fear in their eyes. Then looking back at Orion. Satisfied with Orions answer before heading forth

“Follow me.”

Orion and the others would start follwoing him after a second

———————————————————————————

As they continue to walk as the sun starts to set. Orions face shows that he’s worried about his friend. Elita and B can tell as well. Y/N then gets the idea walking past Orion and stood next to D who was a lot further ahead then the others.

”Hey D look when we get back we will take down sentinel.”

”I don’t want to kill sentinel i want to-“

”I know what you want to do. I know how you’re feeling because I am feeling it too!” This catches D off guard bit as the two keep walking. Y/N would then sigh

“I want sentinel to suffer just as much as you do. But we must also think smart. If he has been in power for this long then surely we’re just walking into a trap. A web.” The two wold stand and face eachother. D grumbling and sighing as he looked to the side. The three stoppping and just watching staying at the same distance.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to stay stronger. With th help of the people I know I can only trust.” D would put his hand on their arm as he stepped a bit closer with a smile that isn’t as in concept as it use to be. Y/N looked at him still unsure and looked down for a moment

”D strength isn’t always-“

”I can trust you to be there….right?” His hand squeezing their arm a bit and pulling them a bit closer

”….Always.” They say finally looking at him. His smile still there and he pats their back and starts walking forward again. Leaving them there as the others start walking to them

”You tried…Thank you.” Orion stand next to them. They would pt their hand on his shoulder and just nods. Orion, Elita and B start walking as Y/N Stoof there for a second. Their expression changing from sort of sad to angry then to unsure

*Back at Sentinels Tower———————

“Alpha trion! You are still alive? Won’t you look at that! You look horrible.”

“Traitor. You are a disgrace. Primus will surely-“

“Uh-huh yes shut up. I seized an opportunity to take control of my future. Anything to get out of working for you and that boring council of elders. Seriously I would watch you primes spend half the day losing a war and the other half sitting around waxing poetic loyalty and honor. But now look at you.”

“Hear my words! You will fall and a new prime will rise-“

“There you go again. I don't want to listen to any more speeches. There was others in the cave with you. Who are they?”

“They are to be your undoing you’ve lost Sentinel. Nothing can-“

From Trion would kill Trion

“Ugh didn’t I just say no speeches. You heard me right? This is what I’m talking about. Unbelievable. All of them were like that. So disrespectful. Given that friend of the miners Y/N didn’t visit. My money is it has something to do with them and whomever else with them. A real shame really.” He would then sigh then look over at Airachnid

“Ok hunt down the others.”

“With pleasure.”

———————————————————————————

*Back to the others-

The group are walking after transforming. Y/N having sitting on the end of Orions truck. Their helicopter would make too much noise. Once they transform Y/N made sure to get off to let Orion to transform as well.

“Hey buddy!”

“Yo.”

“Hey…You've been a little quiet. Are you alright?”

Orion walks next to D as the other two stay behind

“All I can think about is Sentinels' smirking face. He must pay for what he’s done. Someone has to do something.”

“We are! With Alpha Trions proof inside that device we will show everyone the truth.”

“You honestly believe it’ll be that easy? Iacon doesn’t want to hear the truth. They worship sentinel. There’s got to be a better way to bring him down.”

“We just have to trust that everyone will believe what we show them-“

The two would stop for a moment

“I trusted sentinel! With everything! I will never trust a so-called leader ever again. There’s only one bot I know I can-“

The five are then attacked and knocked out cold by a device

“All right. Wake them up!”

Orion and the others would then wake up. Orion closer in the front as D was beind him on the right. And D and Elita on his left a bit further. Y/N was in front of the two but a bit further from Orions left

“Now. Are you spys? Or just incompetent lackeys?!”

“We’re not spys.”

“But he is incompetent.”

”Elita.”

“Scanning electrical impulses. He’s telling the truth.”

“That just means he believes himself! Like any spy would.”

B would try to speak

“Uh why is he gagged?”

“He wouldn’t stop talking!”

“Even when he was unconscious?”

“Especially when he was unconscious!”

“Enough! Two options for you! One. We slowly dismantle each of you one bolt and screw at a time. And really make sure you feel it. Or two. An exchange for a quick death you give us and tell on the energon trains. Access to mines. Or anything else that could hurt your boss' sentinel prime!”

“Who exactly are you guys?”

“The Cybertronian high guard!”

“I told you it wasn’t tight enough!”

“Prestigious defenders of Iacon!”

“Prestigious?”

“Wait, he's right. I read all about you in the archives! You were the most legendary warriors of all of Cybertron.”

“Look! Look! Look! There’s Starscream and you’re Shockwave and Soundwave! Guys raise your hand if there’s a wave is in your name there’s a lot of waves.”

“Silence! The yellow annoying one is correct.”

“WOAH!”

“We were once the high guard. We witnessed sentinels betrayed. Saw the primes fall. Since that day we’ve been fighting from the shadows. Doing whatever we can to sabotage sentinel.”

“That’s great! We’re-Oh ok ok! We’re good! Everyone relax. I’m just saying we’re allies. We were on our way back to Iacon and now with your help. We can unify Cybertron against sentinel prime.”

“The idea of a unified Cybertron is a myth. All that counts is the strength of one bot over another!”

“Ok so these- these guys are a little intense.”

“Yeah. Just a little.”

“Hey! What are you doing?”

“I'll tell you what I’m not doing. I’m not cowering inside some busted ship playing king of the throne. I’m not pretending like I’m making a difference by throwing in one punch and then running away to hide! I found out that sentinel is rotten today and I’m going to make him pay for it. Today!”

“You think you can insult me and just walk away? No one leaves here unless I say so.”

“Is that right? Well how can you say so. With my head in your teeth?”

“D!”

“D would hit Starscream with his head. Causing Starscream to get irritated and fly in the air to kick D. Only for him to block it. Starscream would then fly and grab D. Flying him to the ceiling and punching him only for D to transform his leg and kick him. Starscream would fall back D landing on his feet over him and starts throwing punches at Starscream face

“Hit me! Do it! Come on! Hit more!”

Shockwave would then be seen taking a step to walk to them but Soundwave would stop him. The two looked at each other before looking back at the two. D would then notice the other bots cheers causing D to look around surprised, confused, but now given with pride

“You want to see the strength of one bot over another?!”

“Is that all you got, tough guy? Lets go! Come on! “

D would then gain a canon. He stops to look at it for a moment before looking back at startscream. Orion and Y/Ns face shocked

“Please! I beg you!”

“Stop! D! He’s not the enemy!”

“Bare witness! This is the last time I show mercy. Decide right now! You can stay here in hiding. Bowing before your pathetic leader or follow me as we march on Iacon and I take down sentinel once and for all!!!”

From there D shoots up as the other bots cheer and walk to D. Shockwave and Soundwave doing the same as the bots walk around Elita, B, and Orion as D is soon surrounded. Orion would then look at D as everything seems to slow down. D would look back but his eyes only passing Orion as he looked at the other bots around him having an angry look. D would then make eye contact with Y/N you looked at him with worry and sad eyes. The stare going only for a second as Y/N grows scared but more so worried. From there, there’s a huge explosion causing many to fly back. The hidden base now attacked my sentinels guards

“B! Come on!”

B and Orion fight together shooting at the soldiers. Y/N and Elita join together and start fighting showing off their fighting skills.

“Engage all hostiles. I got the bridge.”

The fight would commence and after a minute the fight was over. B and D were taken as Elita and Orion are left behind. During the fight, Y/N would be cornered. They would then look at the blades of their alt mode and sigh.

”Well better then nothing.” Choosing to use them as swords until they realize most of the blade was a cover up for their swords. They then start fighting at their swords were like sabers and they start slicing up the guards. The fighting continueing

”Elita get down!”

Y/N was thrown by an explosion to the side behind the ship. From there they would grab a gun and wait to ambush one of the soilders. Only to hear one of them com Airachnid that Orion and Elita were gone. With everything Y/N starts to panick saying quiet. Then hearing they got B and D-16. They would then wait until the soilders to leave then once they’re far enough. They are successfully able to get away transforming into their helicopter not noticing the remaining guard. Y/N was so fueled with anger and sadness. That all they can think about is to just save their remaining friends being D-16 and B-127.

———————————————————————————

*Later that morning-

“I feel like someone dropped a cliff on me. Where are the others?”

“Sentinel troops took as many prisoners as they could carry. They got D-16 and B….there’s a chance they could’ve taken Y/N but when asking one of the captured guards he said they didn’t tale Y/N and their body. Isn’t anywhere….”

“Oh no.”

“And half of those high guard nut jobs.”

“Our proof. It’s gone.”

“So what do we do now?”

“D was right.”

“About what?”

“Everything! Look at it. Look around. This is a disaster. It’s all my fault I should’ve stayed on protocol.”

“Listen to me, I really want you to hear this. Are you listening? I’m better than you.”

“Yeah ok. I’m hearing you.”

“I’m better than you in every way except you have hope. You always have. You went into the mine to rescue Jazz. You snuck up into the surface to find the Matrix of Leadership.”

“Yeah, and how did that work out?”

”My point is that your instincts tell you to break protocol for a reason. This blind optimism that you have is why you make such bold and courageous choices. That are extremely stupid.”

“First time giving a pep talk?”

“You’re inspiring. You can envision a better future that no one else can see. And if we ever wanna see B and D-16 and possibly Y/N again. That. That is the Orion Pax that we need right now. Listen to me, we can do this.”

“Those energon trains will be heading back to Iacon. If we intercepted one-“

“Hell yes. I can reroute it. What else do we need?”

“Well my bold instincts tells me we have to recruit some nut jobs.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

“Uhh Shockwave, Soundwave. You in the back. In order to save our captured friends we have to act now.”

“How about I blast you back to Iacon- Ugggh she punched me in my eye!”

“Everyone shut up! All of you! Listen to him!”

“Most likely our friends are being held captive at the top of sentinels tower. A surprise attack will give us a chance to rescue them.”

“Impossible. We do not have enough soldiers or a way inside.”

“Elita will get us in. And I will get more troops.”

‘Why should we follow you?”

Elita threatens him again with the show of her fists

“We will follow you.”

“Attention High Guard. Prepare for battle. What is our first move?”

“We roll out.”

“What?”

“Louder.”

“Transform and Roll Out!”

I couldn’t really find a right place to add anything for the high guard with the reader. But that’s what my other series Before and So Forth is for lol. Hope y’all enjoyed this chapter

[maxphilippa]

If this "hcs, first impression and character development" thingy is still on

Can you do either Trophy or Suitcase 🛐

Trophy:

First Impression: Before I saw the series, I actually thought that Trophy was a girl. Mostly due to one of his popular headcanons. I saw him as an somewhat passive aggresive jock before doing so, judging solely from his scenes, but he really only got to that after arriving to the Hotel.

Character Development: We all know that he could have been a pretty graté character if he only had more time, so I would have liked to see him become an passive aggresive jock who's soft to those who we cares about and tries to help but is much more of a dick instead, and probably make him grow as a person thanks to Cheesy and Trophy. You know the whole "every character in II are stereotypes in a way" thing? Imagine Trophy becoming a better person for the comedic relief and the weakling. Him getting attached and being vulnerable. I would have liked to see him become one of the final contestants too. In terms of development, he could have definitely been like Knife. In my interpretation he's just an jock who's tired and kind of a dick but genuinely tries to become a better person at the end.

Headcanons: He's a jerd. A jock who's a nerd. He's awfully smart in things he likes/finds interesting. He knows everything about photography AND flowers. Knows how to cook pretty well too. He likes butterflies a lot, but finds ladybugs to be more charming, and bees are his favorite insect. He's generally pretty chill nowdays, just doing his thing but still has some of that ol' anger issues but he genuinely wants to get better for... Tissues and Cheesy. And Soap, maybe. When it comes to sexuality/gender headcanons, I actually don't know what's going on with him! But I think that he would be Parosexual to me! Polyamorous too! And meanwhile I hc him as cis and GNC, I find the hcs of him being trans (both transfem + transmasc or anything) pretty cool too!

Suitcase:

First Impression: "Oh baby, how much trauma can you hold before you realize that you didn't have to?". She looked so... sad. I had a vibe with her I don't know. She just got me in the way that Mic did but differently.

Character Development: Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love Suitcase's arc and her whole story with the Grand Alliance, and how realistic was the way she was portrayed since she's someone who cares deeply about her friends and just wants them to be okay with eachother and suffers from paranoia... but. I would have liked to see her go completely apeshit at Nickel AND Balloon because they kept on fighting and kept on dumping their stuff on her (even though Balloon had his reasons of course, she was already stressed enough). This is much more on BB's side but. Them actually standing up for eachother too. Suitcase building character thanks to Knife, maybe. Her putting Nickel in his place and make him realize that he was in fact, messing up. Them reworking their friendship. Suitcase being more confident on herself as well. Let her scream a bit. And hug her best friends. And talk things out with Nickel. As a treat.

Headcanons: She keeps stickers inside of her. She can chirp or hum like a bird. She likes to be held. She paints as a way to cope and process her own feelings. Ironically enough, I think that her favorite fish would be a golden fish. Thought of writing Nickel a letter but didn't since he should be the one apologizing/bringing it up. Has tried reconnecting with Knife. Likes to write poetry, isn't necessarily great at it. In sexuality/gender headcanons... Pansexual moments. Polyamorous too. Me thinks. I do like the hc of her being trans too, both transfem Suitcase and transmasc Suitcase!

[rodolfoparras]

You have so much patience with everyone and you just don’t understand how much I deeply admire that about you, bc sometimes I’m just like “yeah Im not gonna go back and forth with this person…block”😭🫶🏽 one day imma get there cos I know I need more patience with people😂

Sugar bee you don’t know how much I appreciate that! I try to be mindful when I respond especially in this situation since the person is coming from a good place and because of that I do try to level with them

But don’t me wrong I pick and choose my fights! There are a lot of asks I’ve gotten throughout the year that I just go on and delete because they’re silly

When I first started this blog I made a post asking why cis ppl don’t like the word cis. Now back then I had such a small following and hadn’t even recived an ask before and my first ask turned out to be something along the lines of why aren’t trans people considered mentally ill clearly that person isn’t trying to level with me they’re just trying to insult me

But I was happy to have addressed the piece. I didn’t think to address it first because when I see someone write about heavier topics or “dark themes” I just assume there’s a reason behind it and move on with my day. But by addressing it I hope I did give some insight to the anon and to people in general. Being a victim of something does significant impact to your development. You don’t view your trauma the way others do. That’s why so many people make jokes about the things they lived through because to them that was their every day life they haven’t known anything different while someone who hasn’t experienced such things can be absolutely appalled at the jokes. If you care for victims and fight for a good cause you also have to accept the ugly parts that are more than the words “poor me”

[bonesandthebees]

im alive (questionable) and im finally back (real) and gods does it feel great to finally read the new rose chapter

I did NOT realise just how MUCH I missed it but DAMN

the crimeboys bonding is going great and theyre doing good in their surviving, im so proud of them

poor phil has to deal with the one thing he cannot control and so he ofc focuses on what he can control, control freak

im enjoying reading about him A LOT, hes so intriguing to me, like yeah so far hes a good character id say, but we get a peak at what he could be capable of and are slowly learning where his priorities and loyalties and limits lie and oh gosh is it fun to watch

and ofc THE BIG MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER: friendly nicknames privileges

and like its a really important and sweet moment in itself and ive been excited for it ever since learning there will be different official names like nikanna and willum and oh did it NOT DISAPPOINT like yesssssss letsgo they are FRIENDS and they let the other call them by their NICKNAMES and it shows how much CLOSER to got and the TRUST and just AHSHSHJSDHBSBSHS YESSSSSSS

and it gets even BETTER bc thats not all, this is a recurring theme with you, whether its a fae name that carries power, a mermaid name that signals family like in last years mermay, knowing a name that reveals the secret identity in superhero aus coming with trust but also responsibility, official and personal names of royals like rose and stars showing friendship or in the other way loss of it, and in glass the reclaiming of self identity thru the reclaiming of name and letting go of a title (which btw the coolest and most genius work with narration ive ever read) you just keep on giving names value in your stories and especially the act of sharing them, the one close to you, with others as a sign of love, even just a little bit and it gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME and the fact its a recurring theme gives it even more meaning, makes it get to me even more

and like its something that happens even in real life in some ways but we often overlook just how much love is hidden in it and I love that it gets to shine like this in your stories

I know we talked about your love for giving names more meaning like this before but I just needed to scream about it again bc IT STILL GETS TO ME

it feels so good to have you back in my inbox (and my ao3 comments) with walls of text like this jiksvokrat

they're doing shockingly well!! shoutout to tommy's survival knowledge wilbur would've been dead by morning without him

I'm so glad you're enjoying the phil pov. I love showing his control issues and how his mind works. he's such a calculating character and I have so much fun writing him

I'm so glad you like my recurring thing with names. I really don't know where it came from, I never had this whole thing with names before I started writing mcyt fic. I think I just really liked it both when I wrote that first fae au fic so many years ago and then when I was writing clinic and there was obviously the whole secret identity thing going on that I just realized I liked the theme and decided to use it where I could.

I just think the act of sharing your name, your identity with someone else can be so vulnerable and full of trust!! I guess this translates to every day stuff as well. like when one of my childhood friends came out as trans to me I felt so happy when she trusted me with her new name and identity (I was one of the first people she came out to). or as a less intense example, part of why I like having an online nickname is that it feels strangely nice to have a name that you guys here can use that's me but also a bit separate from me, but then I have my real name which is reserved for the people I'm closest to (though of course most of my internet friends who know my real name still use bee for me which I don't mind at all). I guess it's kind of like having a public persona vs a private persona. idk, I guess I just really feel the importance of names so I like including it as a theme in my writing.

I'm just very glad you guys aren't getting sick of the whole name giving thing yet lol

[kitkatopinions]

The writing of V9 kind of feels like... When you go to someone and tell them "hey the thing you did was a mistake just to let you know" and they respond by being like "well I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I supposedly ruined everything! What do you want me to do, throw myself onto the ground sobbing? Just give up? Kill myself? Is that what you want from me? You know, people make mistakes, but I'm a good person, alright? I'm not perfect, but stop acting like I'm a monster!" And then like, two hours later you see that they made a post on Facebook that's like 'there's too much judgement in the world today and it's so sad. I just want everyone to know that no matter what other people say, you are perfectly imperfect and you've got this, super star. And the people that try to make you feel small and take away from your joy never really deserved you in the first place. This is a lesson I'm learning every day as I navigate trying to deal with people who seem to like to take their problems out on me. But I know I can stand by my choices and need to keep being me."

To clarify, it doesn't feel like Ruby specifically is like that - Despite the major flaws in her writing, she's the least bad of her friend group right now and I'm very sympathetic to her. But it feels more like the writers saw people going "these characters aren't perfect and are making mistakes and need to grow and learn" and they started being like

They were really ambiguous with what mistakes the characters made as if they themselves didn't think they actually had made mistakes, they went way more over the top than they had to so it feels like they were punishing Ruby the character to also punish the critics. And then it feels like they had their whole narrative about how Jaune and Ruby and Weiss all realize that their ambiguous and no big deal 'mistakes' aren't something they should grow from and learn from and decide to change for the better over, they're just things that happen and it doesn't mean you need to grow and change, it just means you aren't all powerful. The message really felt like 'so what if bad things sometimes happen around the main rwby characters? Everyone should stop expecting them to grow because they don't need to because we keep saying they're good people, and good people are fine, so everyone needs to stop being overly dramatic about the supposed mistakes."

It really does feel like the rwby writers put out this season in which change for the better and growth and learning are completely dismissed (beyond 'making your body better' by killing yourself, which is a whole different can of worms,) and the actual 'message' behind the season felt like it was "stop complaining, the rwby mains are good people, they don't need to grow and learn and change for the better, so shut up." And tbh, this message coming right after the massive controversies of Rooster Teeth is very not promising and it's hard for me to read it in any sort of good light. Like...

'People Make Mistakes Sometimes But They Don't Need to Grow Or Change Their Ways Because They're Good People Underneath, So Anyone Who Tries To Bother Them About Their Mistakes Is In The Wrong' feels very not super great after the whole company of Rooster Teeth seemed to put up a 'Nevermind about all that' banner and still hasn't paid their staff and Miles Luna still hasn't apologized for his horrible past behavior as far as I know and they're all begging fans to keep watching Rwby and selling bees merch through the company without paying their trans VA properly.

I'd find it much more meaningful - both personally and coming from the writers and for the characters - if V9 involved acknowledging how the mains messed up and what their flaws were, had the girls act regretfully over mistakes, had change and becoming better be the focus instead of staying the same and not doing anything differently... Etc. It looks really bad that the only lesson the writers seemed to want their characters to learn was 'sometimes letting people hurt themselves is good because they might get a better body.'

[aces-solace]

Transformers

Hobie x transmasc! Reader

Pairing: hobie x transmasc! Reader

Warnings: mentions of transphobia, mentions of needles, mentions of surgery,sexual comments, ooc, implied smut, not proof read, angst, fluff let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: because I am transmasc myself I decided to write about what I think hobie would be like if you were transmasc.

Usually you were ok with a few slight transphobic comments. But today was just too much, everything seemed to go wrong. First you woke up late for work then you spilled your coffee on yourself and had to change last minute. Next your car broke down and you had to walk to work because the busses weren't running yet. Then you let a co-worker see your scars because you had to borrow one of their shirts. You didn't mind thinking you could trust them but of course with life being against you today they told everybody.

Despite knowing that your boss is openly homophobic. He dug through your files when he finally found your dead name and emailed everyone to call you that plus he gave you a name tag with your dead name. You could quit but how would you pay your bills? You dealt with it in silence but the transphobic comments were really starting to get to you. A few of your co-workers even started saying things like "if I met you sooner I could have changed you~" and others got kinda handsy.

You hated everything and everyone. You started to pick at every single little thing you did. You didn't sound like a boy, you didn't look like a boy, you didn't dress like a boy, you didn't act like a boy, you didn't date girls like most boys would. You hated it. You walked home on shaky legs threatening to buckle underneath you. You blinked away tears for what felt like the 100th time. You had to stay strong. He doesn't know your trans. You can't be sad, he can't know. You finally made it to your apartment.

You grimaced as you looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror before getting in the shower.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You tried to just put your old binder back on to help at least a little bit. It didn't. You glanced at your phone conflicted. Should you call him? You don't wanna bother him... He's spider-man he probably has better things to do than comfort you... You decide against it and begin thinking about how you are compared to hobie... What if he's playing you... What if- the tapping on your window interrupted your train of thought. You immediately knew it was hobie. You begin to internally panic about what he might be here for.

You got up and opened the window letting hobie in. Closing the window behind him "hey luv" you smile at him "hey bee" you tried your best not to sound sad, tired, like you were going to break any minute. (Key word: tried). Hobie seemed a little caught off guard by your tone "wha's wrong luv?". That's all it took for you to break. Tears streaming down your face and your legs shaking. Hobie caught you before you could fall to you're knees carrying you to your bed. "I-im sorry..." You manage to choke out between sobs.

"shhh, 's fine"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"can you tell me wha' happened?" You sniffle "work sucked ass" "tha' can' be all luv" "... My co-worker found out im trans and my boss is transphobic and made everyone call me by my dead name.." he stayed quiet for a second "quit, quit your job" "but-" "no, quit then you can cuddle and we can watch movies"

You can probably tell I rushed the ending.

[bestbeeking]

tell us your SpongeBob headcannons (I’m doing this so that you’ll be busy and leave me alone)

YOU CAME UP WITH THEM WITH ME BUT OK LMFAO[im just gonna copy and paste the list from the website]

squidward is nonbinary but was bullied for it so they just preetend they're fine being a man and is very depresso

SPONGEBOB IS AROACE AND VERY DEPRESSO (but he doesn't want other people to be sad by him being sad so he act not sad)

spongebob and squidward are married for tax benefits[mr krabs doesnt pay them enough]

Patrick is a cult leader and is secretly a billionare

Patrick uses patrick/star pronouns

MR KRABS AND PLANKTON AND KAREN ARE MARRIED FOR TAX BENEFITS[mr krabs wants to pay less]

Plankton is bullied for being short (also his human form dresses like a steampunk evil villan) (think the guy from lorax plus more steampunk and minus height) (see: (link tothe musical thing)

Sandy is bi and left texas becasue her parents kicked her out

gary is gary[<3333 -bee]

Squidward likes dresses because theyre the only clothes they can wear without having to alter them to fit their four legs ok so squidward was born male but came out as trans[nonbinary] in second grade, but then he was bullied horribly so he pretended to be cis and thats part of why he’s so miserable. so in the story we were going to write and never did squidward attempts suicide but fails and is in a coma for a while and during it his hair grows out and when he wakes up he’s like ‘oh i kinda like how my hair looks now’ so he decides to go to work with it but SpongeBob/krabs like teases him for it so he cuts it again and then SpongeBob grows out his hair for squidward sorta idk this isn’t well planned and then SpongeBob is like ‘wow I’m nonbinary’ and squidward is like ‘oh me too’ and they get a happy ending. alternatively, squidward could get teased by SpongeBob and attempt suicide again and succeed and then everyone is sad idk

…….what am i doing with my life

[allthecastlesonclouds]

10, 17 & 32 for writer questions?

oooo thanks for the ask!! link to ask game

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

When I was. like. 8. i wrote this original story about five girls and a boy. it was, in short, very bad: none of the character traits were consistent, the plot moved along terribly, and scenes were messy. every chapter was in a different font and Oh Dear God was it unreadable.

and i fucking loved it. i was so proud of it. i still kind of am? 35 pages for an eight year old isn’t bad. but there are printed copies i still find around my house, and my mom still talks about it to this day, and every time i read it i wince.

i’m not sure if this is the definition of haunted, but it follows me around to this day. you maybe thought this was gonna be a fanfic, but this story. Oh God.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Gotta talk about fight or flight baybee!! okay so when i started this it was basically because i had many thoughts on the fact it was kristen’s siblings who convinced her to go during family in flames and not. her parents. and also the fact her parents names combined were McDonalds. that cracked me up. also actually i was talking to a lovely irl about this and they said “wait a character is Christian Applebees??” and i went ally beardsley how dare you. the google doc is titled ‘the mfing MacDonna Applebees’

i brainstormed a rudimentary layout for Mordred for this fic, as in i thought about the first floor and went ‘everything else doesn’t matter’. the chapel is canonically disconnected from the house but kristen also canonically has a secret passageway to tracker’s room, so i decided all the secret passageways link up and let people just. into the walls. kristen and riz are the only ones who have any semblance of confidence in there bc they sneak around so much. kristen uses the passageways mostly for tracker’s and bee’s rooms, but she knows how to get to the kitchen and about midway up the tower staircase.

bee is trans. i debated for a while whether her name was spelled Bee or Bea, but i decided on Bee bc i know a Bea and the vibes are. Different. kristen’s nickname for bricker is bricks, and bee calls him rick or ricks, and when they’re a bit older on their Fantasy Discord she Nicknames him Dick and kris doesn’t let Bricker change it back. bricker is bi; he kissed one of the luckstones under the bleachers and that’s what McDonalds was angry about. he’s also religious (bee goes i know the gods are real but i think i’m taking a step back please); he probably becomes a cleric of helio and does something similar to tracker in the sense he worships his own version of helio, not the widely accepted version.

they’re all two years apart: if kristen’s going into jr year, bee’s going into freshman, bricker’s going into seventh, and cork’s going into fifth. this means cork was seven or eight when kristen left, and you know, third graders are Little and have the object permanence of baboons, so. he’s fine. he’s not really in this fic sorry. when i listen to songs, i like to imagine animatics, and so fics are based around them often, and this one is no acception; the first line of the song is ‘i think it might rain today’ and a separate 3+1 line i was debating was ‘3 times kristen found her siblings in a storm and the one time she had them’.

also kristen needs therapy. she Will Not Get It.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

really any line from ‘For Everyone’ by Jason Reynolds. it’s such a good book. my boss at a camp i worked at gave it to me a couple years ago, and i cried reading it. if i had to pick a section: (id in alt text) (it hits different when formatted like it’s read aloud)

[ollibeuu]

enorace masterlist (ao3 fics only, i’m still working on ff.net and wattpad) 

an enorace masterlist starting with (in my opinion) the best fics! the only ones completely filtered out were chatfics, non-con, or omegaverse. KEEP IN MIND: this is MY OPINION. i’ve read very nearly the entire tag so i thought i’d share some of my favourites. if you’ve authored one of these and want me to delete it from this list, you are welcome to dm me and i’ll take care of it right away :)

edit: part two, three, and four of the list!

Looped - icannotevenhhh: MVP of the enorace tag like number one there is nothing better; first person; oneshot (4446) words; emma bloom wingwoman

Sous le ciel de France - sterrenkijker: one of the four genuine long fics in the enorace tag (27674 words); a tiny bit OOC at times but i think it’s because they’re aged up; no powers au

After the Tears - Dark_Days: one of my FAV fics <3; trans enoch; most likely still active n publishing

Eighty Years - dragonsdendoodles: oneshot (3305 words); my favourite fic by dragonsdendoodles; let me say that the writing in this fic hits exactly where it needs to, like this shit is SO GOOD

till death parts us—and it did - accio_schokolade: oneshot (1628); this one makes people cry; battle of devil’s acre fic

This Isn’t A Long Titled Fall Out Boy Song, It’s High School by Ransom Riggs - yassifiedjimkirk: one of the OG fics; one of my favs; most likely discontinued (so it’s unfinished); high school au; wingwoman emma bloom

(to the tune of Mr. Sandman:) Mr. Bee Man, Here is Your Drink - putyourpantson: oneshot (1558); main fugh, side enorace; god this one feels so so so underrated; coffee shop au

Opre, roma! - nr1enochkinnie_miha222: oneshot (410); POC enoch (he's rromani); mostly just mentions to enorace; another one of my fav fics <3

Strangers - Birdiesflying: active fic; drunk horace; aged up; no powers; wingwoman emma bloom

There Would Be Other Boys - fiona_apiston: oneshot (285); [SPOILER: QUOTE] nah but the line "He would get over Jacob, and there would be other boys. Boys who actually liked boys," always hits me like a firetruck

tumblr's being weird so imma reblog this with the rest of the list

[bees-tornado]

about me/blog info

introduction, before you follow, fandom stuff, etc. below the cut!

(star dividers courtesy of saradika)

hi everyone, i'm bees! here's some info about me/my blog:

i usually go by bees (he/him). please feel free to call me by name or whatever silly little nicknames you can think of.

if you know me irl no you don't. this is my happy little cringe fandom habitat <3

i love video games (mostly Nintendo and especially Pokemon/Fire Emblem) and anime (mostly Shounen and Shoujo), and most of the things i reblog are fanart and posts i think are funny

Fire Emblem: Three Houses is my favorite game of all time, and i post about it incessantly (more about this later)

Bernadetta von Varley is my favorite character of all time and i love her dearly and also she is my wife 💜

you can learn more about my favorite things here!

it is very difficult for me to come out of my shell and be myself (even in a space like this), but i returned to tumblr because i want to try to have fun and be cringe and be free, and i'm trying my best every day <3

PLEEEAAASE feel free to send asks/tag me/etc., especially if we're mutuals, and especially about my favorite things! i am far too anxious to initiate anything but i like interacting with people :)

on that note please be patient with me sometimes it takes me a long time to respond to things but I INTEND TO I PROMISE

i don't post art much but when i do you can find it under #my art

taken <3

before you follow (it's not too long i promise)

please don't follow me if you're a minor. i'm hesitant to mark this blog explicitly as 18+ because i don't really post nfsw stuff here besides joke text posts, but i don't want minors here regardless, sorry!

this is a 🏳️‍⚧️ trans friendly blog 🏳️‍⚧️

i don't do DNI's, but i do block/softblock/unfollow/blacklist/filter freely

i tend to avoid fandom discourse, including proship/anti/etc. discourse. my policy is that if i'm uncomfortable with a particular type of fandom content, i will fall back on my previous bullet point as necessary. the same goes for when i see people engaging in bullying and harassment over fandom stuff

this is not a spoiler-free blog, especially for FE3H and Naruto. i will occasionally tag spoilers (usually for jjba and xenoblade), but not consistently

FE3H-specific stuff

please please PLEASE talk to me about Fire Emblem: Three Houses for the Nintendo Switch you're not bothering me i promise

Bernie and Sylvain are my favorite guys i think they're neat

i'm too old and tired for fe3h lord discourse. i have my own favorites and opinions, but i tend to avoid following blogs that post aggressive or uncharitable takes about the main lords

i came from twitter where Bernadetta would only really trend for negative reasons, so please understand that i'm sensitive about the way people talk about her and her fans. no hard feelings if you don't like her, and i actually agree with a lot of criticism about her writing, but i try to keep anything too mean out of sight

That's it for now! Thanks for reading/skimming/whatever you just did, and I hope you'll stick around!

[akacosmic]

Watching episode 9 of "Between Us" like...

Me: Oh? Is he like... a real prince or something? A vampire? lol

Me: Oh! Is he maybe trans or asexual??

Me: ............

Ok? And? Like, Prince, my dude. Bee acts like a fumbling giddy school girl around you. He previously told you he wants to stand by your side. And he just initiated a kiss with you. Like... why do YOU think he did all that? Cuz he wants to be your hetero bro bestie??? In what world would you being gay be an issue in this situation? You think Bee's gonna be like "You're gay and therefore could reciprocate my feelings?? EW GROSS! I never want to see you again!"? Like, you being into guys can only be a win for Bee in this moment.

Is this some cultural thing that went over my head? Is it supposed to be a sign of Prince having self-esteem issues and unable to see all the obvious signs Bee is throwing in his face? Or is it just weird writing? 🤔

[arsuns-ramblings]

hii thanks for the tag! i love doing ask games in their entirety yinstead of how they were meant to be done lol

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen? i'm on pc rn but it's a picture of some minecraft bees :]

🍫 Cheese or chocolate? probably cheese i prefer salty foods and will sometimes eat cheese even after i had my dessert. I do love chocolate tho

✨ Do you have any nicknames? Max, Sunny and Sun

🎵 Last song you listened to? Infinity Edge by Pentakill i love listening to metal while working

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction? oh gods yes shamefull things when i was a kid. I still am but i struggle to write so i don't post much :((

😏 Are you on discord? Yup username is arsun_ send me a dm if you wanna add me or i will probably refuse the ask TwT

 💛 Do you have any piercings? Yup snakebites

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person? How they treat other people

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be? the granola soft heart cookies their the best

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person? cat, i love my dogs but cats are better

🎧 Headphones or earbuds? headphones, earbuds hurt

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud? "In it? TOMMY INNIT??" i am not obsessed okay? (yes i am)

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know? there's a type of sea slug that shoots their genitals to the female to reproduce and then dies.

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl? night owl i hate waking up

🧸 Favorite place to nap? classic but my bed

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community? Yup! trans (demiboy nonbinary) gay and polyamorous

🦋 Describe yourself in three words. gay hyperactive bitch

👖 Jeans or sweatpants? jeans i hate how i look in sweatpants

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order? i don't go othere ew

🧡 A color you can’t stand? in the right context i like any color tbh

💎 What’s your most prized possession? my glerch probably andeveryy drawings and notes/ birthday cards my friends gave to me

☕ Coffee or tea? tea but only iced

🦖 Favorite extinct animal? i don't think i have one-

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr? since july 2023, not that long but i did not realize that much time had passed

🌴 Desert island item? if i have the basics for survival then lots of paper and pencils

🐸 Describe your aesthetic. emo/ punk but i don't have the motivation or money to do much with my appearence so i look more basic alt

🔮 What’s your dream job? book seller like please let me be surrounded by books/ mangas all the time

💙 Relationship status? painfully single

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit. any shirt i really like with shorts, long socks and my red shoes

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to? so many i love musicals and i love to sing so like yeah

🤎 What color is your hair? dark blond kinda

💌 Do you talk to yourself? all the time

💄 Do you wear makeup? not really except for crayon and sometimes nail polish bc i'm emo lmao

🌸 Best compliment you ever received? "you look like the lovechild of will solace and nico di angelo"

No pressure tagging for funsies: @atlantis-just-drowned @ace-cat-nerd @aceof-diamond @red-hoods-left-sock @yeathisworks @i-dont-know-i-just-like-dragons @plaguethewaters

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[tootyfruities]

honeypie i hope you know you are the only person who can get away with calling me bbg unironically and make me feel all giddy and hair twirly 🤭

but i’ll be patiently waiting for whenever you choose to write me~ 🤭🩷 and yes i know it’s been 2 years but i still haven’t stopped lip biting and i probably never will !!!!!

IM CONSIDERING PLAYING COD JUST FOR THE NEW NICKI MINAJ SKIN LMFAO but i know nothing abt nothing so you let me know what i should do cuz i trust you 😇

also how was your day today?? read: ramble to me right neow 🤬🩷‼️ i hope it was a wonderful one :> we’re currently watching hamilton for english class and tee bee aitch i never really cared for the historical context (not anymore thanks to collegeboard 😍) i just liked the songs lolll

also smoochy poo is so cute oh my gosh I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ACTUALLY BITING YOUR FACE (affectionately <3) MANIFESTING ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN THE WORLD FOR YOU MY LOVABLE DARLING FROOT <3

p.s. i feel kinda bad for clogging your blog w/ my foolishness and obsession for you (🤭😋😍😻😘💕🫶🏽) so feel free to hop into my inbox literally anytime i post like periodically once every month anyway 💀💀

IT'S BEEN 2 YEARS WHAT!!!! THAT'S CRAZY!!!! i lose track of time so quick frfr... UM HAPPY 2 YEARS MILOVE? also i will call you anything you please j 2 make you giddy and hair twirly teehee 🤭

^ me 2 you during every other breath i take in the past 2 years (i think this is the small version of the gif but that's SO fitting)

COD!!! cod mobile i would kiss on the mouth actually. takes up a lot of space on my phone and updates ALL the time but it's great 2 pass time. always has events going and lotta in app purchases, i don't really touch either of those and assume you would havta do smth or another to get ms nicki 😞😞 BUT it is fun, always has new mini game sorta things (prop hunt once, currently doing some kinda zombie game)

MY DAY OML!! uh uh school was ok math was a breeze(4 once!!! we talked abt triangles and i truly did Understand the Assignment), there was one Weird down where my drama teacher got at me for making a trans woman pun??? (she said the boy next door became a mummy what was i SUPPOSED to say besides being proud abt her having a child!!) definitely got my opinion uhhh interestingly changed about her. we've just hung out since i got home, went on a walk and my ✨poor poor directionally challenged self✨ was able to actually lead for once! i got us to a place AND back and i am SO cool for that. currently waiting to get some chinese food bc we got picky eaters(what was available to make wouldn't work for them) and leftovers didn't sound good for some of us(SADGE i wanted to play around with the queso...)

the songs for hamilton are so good! lin manuel miranda, love his songwriting, hate when it like... has guidelines, if that makes sense. i once read a thing about how he should just be left to make music in a garage somewhere and that's how to get his best music (which is real and accurate, btw. source? uhh just trust me)

no need to feel bad abt clogging my blog! it's mostly j reblogs nowadays, getting some personal talk in there is PERFECT frfrfr!! but i will abs take you up on that offer and drop by your inbox whenever!! by the wayyy... do you perhaps have a current favorite fictional character? :3c <3

[toloveandbelovedtoo]

Day 5: connection

Wow... Today was... Wow. Not what I was expecting. Like at all. I was having some trouble with myself and thoughts late last night and feeling so uncomfortable in this exploration, but knowing it was because I was outside my comfort zone and this is all just so new feeling. As I was showering, I thought to myself, I should go out to this yoga studio I like that offers their classes for free to trans people. My therapist had mentioned taking in person classes and I finally remembered to look up the classes.

I found one for today called Yoga Nidra, or sleeping yoga and I thought, hell yeah, I like the idea of getting to lay on my back with a blanket and listen to a meditation and singing bowls. I went in a bit nervous cause it's a new location with unknown people, but I wanted to stop being such a hermit and get out of my house more. I had laid down on the mat, thrown the blanket over me, and placed this bean bag thing over my eyes. I laid with a bolster under my knees and palms up as I listened to the teach guide the class through relaxing the body piece by piece.

She had guided us to imagine being in different locations, I can't remember the first location, but she had us imagining being at the edge of a pond facing a sunset. It was in that time I felt like I had sunken into my body and a flood of emotion overtook my body. It felt like a flood of cold, my body was shaking, and I felt so anxious. She told us then to imagine the moon and I tried to think about the moon and the craters and shadows, but my thoughts kept going back to fear, to this feeling of not wanting to dying, to being so scared because I was feeling so much.

I repeated to myself that I was Taylor. I was laying in a building in my city that is in my state and that I was going to be okay. I opened my eyes but they were still covered by the eye mask, but the slivers of light they peaked through grounded me. The practice ended with us rolling onto our sides then sitting up and as I was folding my blanket, I saw a giant palmetto bug making a bee line to me a few inches from my mat. My body was loose and my limbs weren't cooperating with me, but the teacher caught it in a jar and took it out. I think about that bug, one of the ones that creep me out and maybe it was there for a reason.

I was feeling so anxious and shaky after the session and I didn't feel like I could go home just yet. The yoga teacher had explained beforehand that she was also a therapist and she would spend some time after class in the lobby if anyone wanted to talk. I sat down in a chair and wait for the other student to leave and when she did, I asked the teacher if she would sit with me because I wasn't okay. I felt like crying, I did cry, and she stayed with me while I let that emotion out. We did a breathing exercise and I explained to her what I felt and how I felt it was related to this exploration that I was doing, the release of all that I was holding.

I had this beautiful moment with a stranger that I had asked for help, I gave myself that space to allow a stranger see me be scared and vulnerable and it was an act of love for myself to ask for something I need as well as an act of love to receive that care from someone I didn't know. She explained to me the therapeutic uses of yoga nedra and how it releases emotions that we have been carrying and I told her about the practice I felt was similar that my therapist I do to explore what emotions feel like when I give them the space and honor their presence.

I went home after getting a milkshake from Cook-out and tried to lay down to allow those feeling space, but I ended up in the bathroom listening to Encanto's soundtrack while I journaled what I was feeling. The bathroom is a safe space for me, a place where I could go to cry and be emotional without anyone hearing me. I would turn on the shower and cry and I don't really know if the shower and fan drowned out my cries, but it helped. And half way through writing, it just all felt like I understood what I was trying to do by undertaking this project.

That I am worthy not despite my flaws and broken bits, but because they are apart of my whole being. I am worthy of love and being loved and giving love because I'm Taylor, I don't have to be anything else, I don't have to make myself smaller, or quieter, or easier to handle, I am loved for my true being. And sure, I think those that tried to minimize me and make me feel smaller loved me, but not in a way that was healthy, sustainable, and was twinged with toxic believes and actions. I saw myself the way my friends I have now saw me and that I didn't have to have a skill or a service to offer them, I was just loved for being me.

I feel like a butterfly crawling out of my cocoon after being caterpillar goop and I'm learning to look and love my new wings, to let them open and flourish them, to feel the wind around them as I try to take off. I was having a lot of emotions recently after having a really tough 2022, after feeling burned out from work, after doing some heavy trauma healing work the last few months, but especially the last couple of weeks. There was a lot I needed to unleash and that yoga practice helped. I feel scared, but I feel hopeful.

[latibulater]

Venture Bros Rewatch notes: The Incredible Mr. Brisby

Dean being a nerd of course and the fifth leg comment the rapscallion energy is off the charts and Rusty is already THIS close to tranquilize them - I wonder how often Rusty was tranq'd before he learned to be quiet

ON THE RAG this whole sequence makes me call over cackling between Hank being foul not knowing what hes talking about, Doc getting offended for no reason, Brock being unapologetic.

UGH More racism whoo!!!!! Mandalay is interesting because if we stay strictly with Watsonian reasoning, yknow he probably is some man from the city who used racist stereotypes to snag a job under a very wealthy man, but writing wise all we got is that he is a big silent black bodyguard stereotype

"trapped beneath an unstoppable metal lincoln for two hours" this made me laugh really hard

"pandas milk" seriously nailed how weird rich people are. do we think the panda is actually thee david bowie's panda or the sovereign's panda

dean's enthusiasm about animals is still so cute

brock trying to start up conversation with mandalay...i need to reread that fic where brock bottoms for mandalay liteally amazing fic

brisby and jonas......so many nightmares within that. how many people besides doc and brisby know about jonas' cloning. also what do we think rusty's pills are?

"profits have gone zippety doo da"

rusty took over, at most immediately after jonas died while rusty was in college, or sometime a little bit after as we know rusty has said professor impossible didnt fail him out of sympathy for jonas dying, so maybe the company was managed by the board or someone else ran it.......so many possibilities.

"IVE COME AFLAME AGAIN" seriously burst out laughing

EW Hank's spit landing in Dean;s mouth. Whyyyyyyyy. Like obviously. to play into Themes. but blegh.

The Brisby dome makes me laugh. "You knocked me out and put me in a bag to bring me 50 yards?!"

MOLOTOV INTRODUCTION.

The Orange County liberation Front.....CACKLING. "ANIMATED ABOMNIATION [BRISBY] CREATED BRINGS DARKNESS TO THIS WORLD!"

"Did you forget about no?" Man okay Doc......

Brisby falling down the wheelchair inaccessible stairs mid way through his villain speech.....that is classic Vbros.

Sorry to Brock but if Molotov Cocktease wanted me to join with her I would never leave her lap

The way their whole argument sounds SOOO scripted they have had this argument.a million times.

OKay what motel is this...................

The whole sex thing with the cigarette....PEOPLE WITH ORAL FIXATION UNDERSTAND

okay but the orange hat is so funny and actually appealing design.

okay but this whole b-plot about how the way disney feeds and feeds and eats up people and land and resources by displacing people and managing the districts

MY FAVORITE SCENE IN S1. DOC ON TRUTH SERUM.

"Reading from top to bottom: lisa, carol, freemont " "ive always depedned on the kindness of stranger oh mercy which one of you strapping young bucks will catch my fall!" HOW DO PEOPLE NEGLECT TRANS FEMME RUSTY IN THEIR READINGS

the little misogyny bit with the orange leader wife is like. SO, bad no reason to do that.

brock JUUUUUUUST missing the plane and chucking a rock at it. do you think he has insecurities about not being enough one day. like do you think the boys dying so much makes him feel like shit at his job at night before bed 3 beer 6-packs in

the elegant acrobatics of the bee mascots.....LMAO.

Molotov staying to true feminism not letting her boy toy's goals get in the way of her pay check

okay but rusty getting shot at by the nail gun thrice is both so compelling to me this man must have the worst aches and pains

brock vs mandaly being set up just for mandaly to say hes gonna leave is as the inversion of the racist trope is the whole joke which is like. not worth the racism and it sucsk!

okay so brisby is on fire and molotov leaves with the panda

the way brock pulls the nail out of rusty's wrist makes me SO ill for a split second everyTIME i get a little baby barf feeling  i can just imagine the sinking of the nail sinking through the wrist and it being the only thing youre hanging off a wall of with ll your weight hanging and BLEGHHHHHHHHHHH

I used to hate this episode and now I like it a little better but still not overly much. 5/10

Venture Bros Rewatch notes: Home Insecurity

Fucking hilarious that Underland is designed like a disney princess villain lair but actually with all the executions.

tiger balm....tiger....bomb.....makes me laugh EVERY time honestly all i can think of when i hear tiger balm

Knowing that there are many kids with amputations in Underland from the child mines, like that is crazy the child amputee rate must be one of the highest in the world. i get that its played for jokes and it was funny, but if we are gonna be serious about all of it this counts and is like. mind boggling

whoo! use of the r slur! the way ive had to fucking campaign in my family to get them to stop using it and then i turn on this show and theyre saying it like every other episode makes me want to hunt down hammer and publick

okay but thats a waste of tiger.....

ik we dont learn this till later but i have questions about underland apparently being located right next to michigan.....PLEASSSSE LET ME SEE THE WORLD MAP IK ITS SO FUCKED UP

Brock's blue shirt is so beautiful on him...wish I could unbutton it off him. Dean and his hover boots, honestly those boots should make a come back

Stupid ass racist costume!

I literally choked on my spit and coughed at the same time Doc coughed at Brock's fumes

Okay I think Rusty is just doing a bit with the whole "big man think you can take me on? i knew this day would come" like seriously, the twins are so fucking silly but rusty is so beyond sarcastic he really is just projecting his own issues onto his kids all the time.

HELPER!!!!!!!!! Him going to take care of Rusty and so comically seeing NEW ROBOT blueprints and packing up a knapsack including a pic of child Rusty and Helper, oh my god it is just the sweetest robot and makes me wonder if there is a similar situation like with the red Helper happening with the whole....human brain.

the henchmen fighting and getting distracted till doc wakes up an slides into the panic room LOL

also i do love the underland footmen look as someone who loved tmnt it looks very foot clan

hank and dean may be a little over the top but they did take care of the scorpion and tarantula pretty handily.

Dean and Hank in the panic room and not even knowing when it was built....like seriously how many memories are they missing, consider they repeated being 15/16 over 10 times

Hank choking out Rusty is SO FUNNY Hank is just trying to help!!!!!!! just send them both to a first aid class you will be better for it doc

Rusty lactating!!!!! Milky king!!!!!

The animation and storyboard in this episode flips between dynamic and very getty stock images which is pretty funny

Dr. Girlfriend getting insulted and telling the monarch to use the phone himself...him trying to get an outside line....god i feel so old.

bigfoot baby!

"GUARDO" you fucking idiot Rusty. "I fell asleep" Okay but have we considered the fact  that you just don't have a head for mechanics and need to switch science majors

THE SNACKS FOR COMPANY. And Monarch apparently seeing the Baron for the first time since college and them trying to kill each other at first in a big dick measuring contest.

"how do you even mix it up! augh its like having my dad do the shopping!" ok i need more orphan jokes from the monarch stat seasons 1 he kills with this

its funny to see bigfoot and brock and steve summers meeting is so funny...considering that they all fuck when brock stays with them after he leaves the osi

"do you know how long 6 million bucks takes to pay back on a government salary!" fucking screammmmmmmmmmm

"lab partnership is a sacred trust" SSTILLLLLLLL want to know about how this happened

The Monarch fucking around struggling with his old ass computer makes me SOOOO nostalgic i remember we had a similar computer in the kitchen growing up.

Dean reading Helper perfectly and Doc going through a slumdog millionaire flashback before emotionally manipulating his mommy robot

One henchman became a hench after the plant closed and he only had a GED. one had a crack addiction and got off it. one (gary) got kidnapped) underland minions are drafted and then executed at 38.

"SASBURGER"!!! GOD "Sasquatch gave me a new life" Brock trying not be grossed out but like trying not to let it show (but only because he thinks Sasquatch is a woman at that point and he's bigoted but pro-str8 people always.

"Go team Helper!"

Jesus I really SSOOOOOOOOOOO would fucking fucking fucking kill for an expose episode on how henching works in the world as a job

all the army men are idiots very appropriate. brock getting SOOO weirded out. It is homophobic but also I choose to believe Brock has never seen a cock bigger than his own and got so horny and emasculated he got wigged out.

First mention of the Guild in this episode about filing paperwork on collaboration which i think is funny

Helper not letting Rusty out is SO funny me and my siblings would do that all the time. Truly, there is a lot to be said about Rusty and Helper's relationship. No other relationship has been as long for Rusty as Helper, who has been there sinvce he was a young boy and has always looked out for him.

Overall this episode is really fun and enjoyable, it does very well with having very silly concepts being treated seriously and then serious situations being treated clownishly. always love steve and sasquatch, altho the vbros design is so............he has a face only steve summers loves apparently. and the conversation on paying back the osi for the bionics was good worldbuilding/commentary on real world disability issues of how disability devices are often very expensive and only work at the behest of whoever made the device. my own cousin had a cochlear implant that worked very well but then he was told it was being recalled and he could get new one and now its works awfully for him

would rate this one like a 7/10. very solid but nothing too rib crackling funny or show pausing overly interesting