#did I skip multiple chapters at a time while reading? yeah

[gothicwill]

paragon is such a wild fic cuz like..it’s weird. Dark. Messed up. The author doesn’t shy away from making Hannibal genuinely creepy. But it has just enough cute moments and introspective writing to keep you hooked

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [24] - Journals

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Couples can have different opinions on many things.

Word Count: 2400

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship, mentions of sex, there's a fur coat line. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

Alright.

Keeping a sex journal while you weren’t currently having sex was going to be challenging but you couldn’t let it stop you.

It was homework, and there was a reason why you had been such a perfect student back at school.

You sipped your coffee before putting it back on the kitchen island, then grabbed the paper bag to turn it over, the contents spilling onto the island, making you let out a happy noise. Stationery shopping always made you feel excited, gathering different notebooks and papers and pens, so you were beginning to feel like you were going to ace this already.

Alpine jumped on the island to inspect the pens, then smacked one off the counter with her paw.

“Alpine!” you said. “Don’t.”

“Charm I’m—” Bucky lifted his head when he reached the bottom of the stairs, then frowned, making his way to the kitchen island. “What are those?”

“Stuff for the sex journals,” you said as you opened a notebook, then closed it and tossed it at him. He caught it mid-air and looked down at it.

“This looks better than the notepad I have.”

You made a face as you lifted Alpine off the counter, then put her on the floor.

“It’s a journal,” you told him. “She didn’t say a notepad.”

“Can I borrow a pen?”

“No!” you said quickly, grabbing the multiple pens on the island. “Get your own, these are mine.”

“There are like one hundred pens here and you’re telling me—wait a second, did you get glitter pens?”

“Yeah,” you said and Bucky approached the counter, tilting his head.

“Are those stickers?”

“Mm hm,” you said as you started sorting them through color and Bucky blinked a couple of times.

“Why do you have stickers?”

“As a rating system,” you said. “I mean the journal will be detailed and whatever but I think using stars stickers for it will be useful.”

“You’ll give our sex life star ratings?” he asked as he took one of the tiny sticker sheets into his hand and you nodded your head.

“Yeah. It’s important to be organized while keeping a journal, and it’ll make it easier to read. This is how I used to study for exams as well.”

“Teacher’s pet,” he teased you and you arched a brow.

“You just lost a star.”

His eyes widened. “Wait what? No I want—I want five stars!”

“Then fucking act like it.”

Bucky licked his lips.

“So how are we going to do this?” he motioned at the journal. “Make stuff up?”

“No, we’ll just have sex because it’s a part of couple’s therapy.”

His head shot up. “I take back everything bad I said about therapy—”

“Of course we’re going to make stuff up!” you snapped, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat. “I’m not fucking you for some sort of homework, this is a business deal.”

He opened his mouth to retort but his phone started buzzing, making him look down at the screen before rejecting the call.

“So I copy off of yours?”

“I’m not going to do your homework for you,” you said. “We’ll do it together, tonight. Try to find your favorite fantasy today, it’ll make things easier.”

“It’ll make one thing harder.”

You let out a groan, rolling your eyes at him but that didn’t stop the smirk pulling at his lips. His phone started buzzing again and he made a face, then put it back into his pocket.

“Want to grab lunch in the afternoon?”

“No I’m meeting Becca,” you said, your whole attention back on the sheets of stickers again as you separated them and he stepped to press a kiss on top of your head.

“Tell Becca I said hi,” he said and you hummed as he walked out of the apartment. You could feel your cheeks burning but you frowned at yourself and Alpine jumped back on the counter, meowing at you.

“Your father is just…” you trailed off and held one of the pens so that she could smack it. “Something tells me he used to be a bad student.”

                                      *

“So yeah, my boss has been kicking my ass,” Leila said before taking a sip of her coffee and you tilted your head, stealing a look at Becca.

“And you’re letting that happen?”

“I told you!” Becca said, motioning at you and Leila let out a laugh.

“Unbelievable, both of you.”

“It’s a problem and the solution is very clear,” you said and Becca nodded.

“Exactly!”

“We’re not intimidating my boss.”

“It’s not intimidating,” Becca said. “Just…you know, a gently nudge to not push you so hard.”

“I offered Ethan the same thing,” you said. “He refused.”

“I wonder why,” Leila said and Becca heaved a sigh.

“What’s he been up to?”

“He’s very busy.”

“Still in love with you?”

“He’s not in love with me, we’re friends,” you told them and sipped your drink. “Besides, don’t get off the subject. Leila—”

“The new client is a hard ass, that’s why my boss is being uncharacteristically pushy,” she said. “It’s fine, really. How about you, how’s everything with Bucky?”

“Oh our therapist gave us this homework,” you said. “Sex journals.”

Becca shot you a puzzled look but couldn’t say anything with Leila right there so you only shook your head slightly as Leila let out a laugh.

“Do you want me to cover your ears, Bec?”

“Yeah!” she said after a beat. “Yeah no I don’t um—I don’t want to know anything about my brother’s sex life, I’ll just pretend you guys only hold hands in bed.”

“Aw sweetheart…” Leila said, patting her hand and you gave her a grin, then bit into your muffin.

“Listen, it’s just—” you started, then got distracted when you saw Ryan walk into the café. He made his way straight to the counter, clearly not having seen you or the girls, then gave his order to the barista before stepping sideways so that he could wait.

“I’ll be right back,” you told Becca and Leila, then stood up from your chair to approach him.

“Fancy seeing you here,” you said, making him turn around and he immediately straightened his back even more as if you were his commander.

“Ma’am.”

“How are you?” you asked and he gave you a faint, hesitant smile.

“I’m alright ma’am, how about you?”

“I’m good,” you said. “I haven’t had the chance to talk to you since that night at the club. Thank you, again.”

“I didn’t do anything ma’am,” he said. “I’m glad you disarmed him before he could hurt you or Mr. Barnes.”

You nodded your head.

“You know how amateurs are,” you said with a wave of your hand and he swallowed, his eyes darting over your face.

“And um…” he cleared his throat. “Are you alright, ma’am?”

“It wasn’t the first time I kicked someone’s ass—”

“No I mean,” he paused for a moment. “After the dinner?”

Ah.

The dinner your father had named Ian his heir.

Considering how happy Ian was about it and how Ryan was his right arm, you would have thought he would be very happy, perhaps just asking you to pretend to be polite but nothing in his eyes signaled insincerity. You pulled your brows together in confusion and he licked his lips.

“My apologies, it wasn’t my place—”

“No no,” you stopped him before he could finish his sentence and offered him a small smile. “No I was just surprised, that’s all. No one from my dad’s side asked me if I was alright after that dinner, so…”

He nodded his head, looking down at his boots and you took a deep breath.

“I’m fine,” you said. “And I really appreciate you asking that, it’s very nice of you. Thank you.”

His head shot up when the barista called out his name and put the coffee on the counter, and he grabbed it.

“Anyway, I shouldn’t keep you long,” you said with a smile. “Have a nice day, Ryan.”

“You too ma’am,” he said gruffly and walked out of the café while you returned to the table, Leila and Becca both watching you.

“He looks like freaking Hercules,” Leila commented and Becca let out a laugh.

“I’ll never understand why he is working for Ian.”

“Me neither,” you said with a sigh. “Anyway, what were we talking about?”

                                               *

By the time Bucky got home, it was past dinner time.

“I’m so sorry, this fucking meeting—” he said as he walked into the apartment, making you look over your shoulder from the couch. “Isn’t it weird we can’t kill people over zoom meetings?”

“I’m sure technology will get there some day,” you pointed out, sipping your wine. “I ordered sushi, it’s on the counter.”

“Awesome,” he said, getting rid of his jacket to throw it over the chair and you tried not to stare at his white button up fitting perfectly to his muscular body, then licked your lips. He pulled a chair to sit by the kitchen island and reached out to grab your journal.

“Did you write anything?”

“Nah, I was waiting for you,” you said and muted the TV, then grabbed your wine glass to make your way to him. You sat down as well, then pulled the sticker sheets and pens to yourself from the other side of the counter, taking the journal from him as well. He took chopsticks into his hand and dug into the sushi while you opened the journal, then fixed your hair.

“So?”

“Hm?”

“What is your sexual fantasy?”

Bucky chewed his bite before swallowing it, then pointed at you with the chopsticks.

“You know, when I imagined you asking me this question you weren’t wearing anything and my mouth was busy with something else.”

You tried to ignore the way your stomach did a pleasant flip, then narrowed your eyes at him.

“Bucky.”

“Why don’t you tell me your fantasies first?”

“I’m not going to tell you anything.”

“Why not?” he asked. “Aside from the obvious medieval knight thing—”

“That’s not my fantasy—you know what?” you said, grabbing your phone. “I’ll just google it and then we can decide.”

“…You’ll google sexual fantasies?” he asked with a grin on his lips. “You actually need to google it? Aw, have I ever told you how adorable you are?”

“Bucky, I’m warning you.”

“Missionary doesn’t count as a fantasy so I’m guessing yours isn’t gonna be there.”

“First of all, there’s nothing wrong with missionary, don’t blame me if you have too many issues to be able to look your partner in the eye while fucking them—”

“Whatever you say, pillow princess.”

“And I’m giving you three stars, how about that?”

He pulled his brows together, swallowing his bite in a hurry. “No!”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely not, we don’t know if we can trust the therapist or if she’s working for someone else.”

“I feel like if she was working for someone else, we’d have other problems than her thinking you’re not good in bed.”

“That’d be the biggest problem for me,” he said, his voice completely serious. “I can deal with people trying to kill me, but they can’t think my wife gives me three stars.”

 You rolled your eyes.

“Unbelievable,” you said. “Fine, I’ll give five stars to the fantasy thing but I’ll write I faked it the second time we had sex this week.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m not giving you five stars all the time Bucky, she’s going to know we’re lying.”

“No, none of my girlfriends have ever faked that shit, my wife sure as fuck won’t.”

You blinked a couple of times before tilting your head, a small smile pulling at your lips.

“Aw, I forget how naïve men can be about this,” you said. “Have I ever told you how adorable you are?”

He narrowed his eyes. “None of my girlfriends—”

“That’s what you think.”

“No, I know they didn’t.”

You pursed your lips, trying to keep your expression straight. “Really? And how do you know that?”

“One can tell.”

“Not really.”

“I’m not talking about porn screams all the time,” he insisted. “You can just…feel it.”

You raised your brows, smirking at him and he frowned slightly.

“Bullshit,” he said after a beat. “You can’t fake that.”

You dragged the tip of your tongue over your teeth, now grinning wide but before he could say anything else, someone knocked on the door, making both of you turn your heads. Bucky checked his wristwatch, his frown getting deeper and he pulled his gun out of his waistband, then made his way to the door with you following him. He looked through the peephole, then put his gun back into his waistband and opened it to reveal one of his bodyguards that you had met back at the club; Hannah.

“Hi Hannah!” you said, waving at her and she smiled at you.

“Mrs. Barnes,” she greeted you and turned to Bucky. “Mr. Barnes, I’m sorry to disturb you at this hour but we figured you’d want to know. There has been an attack to the Wilson territory.”

Your jaw dropped and you covered your mouth while Bucky’s shoulders tensed up.

“Sarah—?” you started, your heart beating painfully against your chest but thankfully Hannah cut you off.

“Everyone in the Wilson family is alright ma’am,” she said, making you let out a relieved breath. “It wasn’t an attack to any of their houses, just the territory.”

Bucky’s voice was stern when he spoke: “Where?”

 “One of the bars,” Hannah said. “A couple of his men got hurt, so did some civilians.”

“HYDRA,” you murmured, your jaw clenching. “Fuck.”

“Is Paul around?”

“Yes sir, he’s downstairs.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there,” Bucky said and closed the door, then turned to you but you had already turned around to make your way to the coffee table to get your gun.

“Charm, you should stay here,” Bucky said, making you look over your shoulder. “It could be dangerous.”

You arched a brow, then grabbed the fur coat on the rack to throw it over the mini silk dress you were wearing.

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” you asked him as you pushed the gun into your handbag, then walked past him. “Let’s go.”

Bucky threw his head back and grabbed one of the car keys off the key hook, then followed you out of the apartment.

Chapter 25

[southtopaz]

PSYCHO KILLER - SCREAM

Summary: in which Iris Morris has to navigate her personal relationships while surviving a psycho

Warnings: Fem!reader, angst, mention of violence, swearing, mention of death, past Amber freeman x Fem reader, Tara Carpenter x Fem reader, multiple parts.

Word count: +3,5

A/n: The next three chapters won’t follow the original storyline of the movies, because I wanted to write something outside of it, but after that we get to Scream 6. If you just want to read Scream 6 storyline, skip to part 12. English is not my first language, so I apologize for any grammatical mistake.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

"I can't believe we just graduated!" Iris exclaimed, her voice bubbling with a mix of disbelief and exhilaration. She was practically bouncing on her heels, now that they changed into normal clothes and not the ones from the ceremony.

Mindy rolled her eyes, a playful smirk dancing on her lips. "I'm mostly surprised by the fact they let YOU graduate," Iris scoffed, her tone dripping with indignation. "You're dumb as fuck"

"Fuck you Mindy, I hope you die". Iris added with a glare, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You can ask your next girlfriend, who knows maybe you have a type". The moment the words tumbled out of her mouth, Iris's eyes widened, and before Mindy could react, Iris lunged at her. In an instant, she was on Mindy's back, trying to wrestle her to the ground in a flurry of insults and playful shoving.

Just then, Chad and Tara strolled by, drawn in by the chaotic situation. They paused, exchanging amused glances as they took in the scene.

"What's going on?" Tara asked, a bemused smile creeping across her face.

"Mindy is being a fucking asshole".

"So a normal day then". Chad quipped, a teasing glint in his eyes. He leaned against a nearby railing, arms crossed, clearly enjoying the show, all while ignoring the middle finger his sister threw at him. "We were going to ask you both to come and get pizza with us and Sam, but if you guys are busy..."

At that, Mindy and Iris exchanged a glance, a silent understanding passing between them. They both knew that pizza was far more enticing than their bickering.

"Yeah, okay, we can go," Mindy said with a grin, finally managing to shake Iris off her back. They began walking toward the parking lot, the sun shining down on them, casting a warm glow over the scene.

As they walked along, Chad chuckled, shaking his head. "They are so fucking weird," he remarked, gesturing at the duo who were now playfully jostling each other again, their laughter ringing out in the air.

They reached their favorite restaurant, a cozy little spot adorned with twinkling fairy lights and the aroma of freshly baked pizza wafting through the air. As they stepped inside, they spotted Sam already settled into a booth. Iris had just finished a call with her mother, reassuring her not to wait up. Ever since the attacks four months ago, her mom had insisted on knowing Iris's whereabouts at all times, and honestly she couldn't really blame her for it. They had all been lucky, and that knowledge weighed heavily on her heart.

Chad and Mindy slid into the booth beside Sam, while Iris and Tara took their seats across from them. The familiar chatter of the restaurant buzzed around them, a comforting backdrop to the occasion. Once they placed their orders, a wave of excitement and nervousness surged among them.

"So first of all, congratulations, guys! I'm so proud of you all," Sam declared, raising her glass high in celebration. The others quickly followed suit, their glasses clinking together with a satisfying sound.

"We did it! Not even fucking Ghostface could have stopped us from graduating!" Chad beamed, his smile warm and genuine as he took a sip of his drink.

"Honestly, I'm shocked we did it, but I'm really happy," Tara added, her voice laced with disbelief and joy.

Iris's smile faltered for a moment, her heart heavy as she thought of those who should have been there with them. "Yeah, can't help but think Wes and Liv should be here too," she sighed, the weight of her words casting a shadow over the table. A heavy silence enveloped them, each person acutely aware of the absence of their friends. They knew who else was missing in the celebration but no one wanted to say her name, especially not Iris; the ache of the betrayal was still too fresh.

"For Liv and Wes," Chad finally broke the silence, raising his drink again, his tone solemn. "This is for you guys."

"Wherever they are, I hope they're proud too," Iris muttered, her voice barely above a whisper. She felt Tara's hand squeeze hers softly, a comforting gesture that warmed her heart amidst the sorrow.

After a few moments of silence, Mindy shifted the conversation. "So, what are we doing next?" she asked, her voice lightening the mood. "We all got into Blackmore University, so we're definitely seeing each other's faces"

"Unfortunately, I still have to see yours," Iris shot back, unable to resist a teasing grin.

"My face card is amazing, Iris; you should be thankful I let you see it". Mindy retorted with a mock-seriousness that drew laughter from the group.

"I'm excited to finally leave this fucking town". Sam chimed in, her enthusiasm infectious. "We just need to find somewhere to live".

As they chatted about their plans, with Chad and Mindy dreaming of living independently and Sam and Tara discussing the kind of apartment they wanted, Iris sat in contemplative silence. The idea of living alone filled her with dread, yet she wasn't sure she could trust a random roommate either. The conversation swirled around her, but her thoughts drifted elsewhere.

After their meal, they decided to head to The Carpenter's house for a movie night. As Sam, Chad, and Mindy led the way, Tara slowed her pace, matching her steps to Iris's.

"What's on your mind?" Tara asked gently, her tone inviting Iris to open up.

"What do you mean?" Iris replied, trying to feign ignorance.

"You've been really quiet during dinner, and no offense, Ris, but you usually talk way too much for your own good."

"Okay, rude," Iris joked half-heartedly, but Tara didn't let it slide.

"C'mon, what happened?"

With a deep sigh, Iris turned her gaze to the floor, the weight of her worries pressing down on her. "I guess I'm just worried."

"About what?"

"Our life in New York," she admitted, her shoulders slumping in resignation. "I don't know how I'm going to find a place for myself."

"Why would you find a place for yourself alone?" Tara asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Because I have to live somewhere?" Iris replied, a hint of confusion creeping into her voice.

"I thought you were going to live with me and Sam."

"Wait, really?" Iris's heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah, we always included you in our plans," Tara said softly, her voice comforting. "I know you hate the idea of living alone, and you're just as paranoid as Sam, so obviously you're not going to live with someone you don't know on your own."

"I hate that you know me," Iris said, smiling at Tara while the shorter girl shrugged nonchalantly. “Are you sure you guys don't mind living with me?" her voice tinged with uncertainty.

"Why would we?"

"Well... I mean," Iris stuttered, the hesitation lingering between them. Tara raised her eyebrows, encouraging her to continue. "We are rebuilding our friendship after everything. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

Tara studied Iris for a moment, her gaze unwavering. "I would never be uncomfortable with you, Ris," she said, her voice softening. "Also, we can use this as a way to continue building our friendship again."

"Yeah, I would like that," Iris said, nudging Tara playfully, relief flooding her.

"Me too," Tara replied, a smile breaking across her face.

A whole month of packing, and endless preparations had led to this moment. It was time for Iris to leave for New York, a city that felt both thrilling and terrifying. As she stood in the driveway, she was pretty sure her mom had no tears left to cry. The goodbye was heavy, filled with unspoken fears and hopes.

"Iris, promise me you'll call every day," her mother insisted, her voice shaky. The grip on her daughter's hand was firm, desperate to hold into her for a little bit longer.

Iris nodded, her throat tight. "I promise." And as the tears spilled over, she was grateful that Mindy wasn't around to make fun of her for crying.

Mindy and Chad were already on their way with their mom, the excitement in their voices echoing in Iris's mind, while Sam was handling the logistics of moving all of her and her sister's things. That left Tara, who would be traveling with Iris, the one who had volunteered to drive.

When Tara arrived with her bags, the moment felt bittersweet. Rachel, Iris's mom, saw her and immediately burst into tears again, wrapping Tara in a tight embrace. "I can't believe you both are moving," she sobbed, holding them as if she could freeze time. "Remember when you two would come in here and help me make cookies?"

Tara smiled, her eyes shining with memories. "Those were amazing cookies, Rachel. The best." She could almost taste the warm chocolate chip dough and feel the laughter that filled the kitchen, a reminder of simpler times.

"You're both so grown up," Rachel said, pulling them into another hug, her voice muffled against their shoulders.

"God, Mom, you're gonna scare Tara with all your tears," Iris teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"Don't be mean, dear. I'm just emotional and old—leave me alone," Rachel retorted, a playful smile breaking through her tears. They truly were mother and daughter with the same sense of humor.

Tara laughed wholeheartedly, a sound that warmed the air around them. She adored the relationship Iris had with her mom, a bond filled with warmth and understanding. In fact, she felt a pang of longing for that kind of connection with her own mother, who had always seemed distant. Rachel had always treated Tara like one of her own, and she found herself getting more emotional saying goodbye to Rachel than to her own mother.

With one last hug, Tara moved to grab Iris's belongings. "Oh, Tara, you don't have to do that," Iris protested, reaching out.

"Say goodbye to your mom," Tara said gently, resting a hand on Iris's arm, her touch comforting. "I'll put this in the car." With that, she walked away, leaving Iris alone with her mother.

"I'm really glad you guys are friends again," Rachel said, her smile warm and knowing.

"Me too, I missed her," Iris admitted, her heart aching with a mix of happiness and guilt.

Rachel's gaze softened, filled with understanding. "She is good for you. Always has been."

Iris stared at her, momentarily confused by the implication. Before she could ask what her mom meant by that, Rachel pulled her into one last embrace. "Come on, don't leave her waiting. Call me when you guys arrive, okay, dear?"

"Okay, Mom. I love you," Iris said, squeezing her tightly, savoring the warmth of her mother's embrace.

"I love you more," Rachel replied, her voice breaking as she pulled away, wiping her cheeks but unable to hide the glistening in her eyes.

As Iris watched her mother step back, a sense of finality settled over her. She turned to find Tara waiting by the car, her face lit up with excitement. Taking a deep breath, Iris approached Tara, who was adjusting the last of the bags in the trunk. "Thanks for being here," Iris said, her voice steady but her heart still racing.

Tara looked up and smiled, her expression softening. "Always. Imagine how bored you would be without me."

"Let's go and start living our life"

Iris nodded, her heart swelling with a mix of hope and nostalgia. As they climbed into the car, the engine roared to life, and with one last glance at her childhood home, Iris felt the rush of excitement wash over her.

The sun was just starting to set, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink as Iris and Tara navigated the never-ending roadway. They had been on the road for hours, their excitement for the move to New York palpable, but the sea of red brake lights ahead could only mean they would be stuck for a couple of hours.

"Of course there's traffic" Tara sighed, tapping her fingers on the dashboard to the rhythm of the Taylor Swift song playing softly in the background. "We should've left earlier."

Iris glanced at her, a grin creeping across her face. "Maybe but we wouldn't have this quality time together." Tara rolled her eyes but couldn't suppress a smile. They had spent the past month planning this move and the thought of finally being in the city was exhilarating. When they were younger, she recalled, they used to speak about moving to New York together after high school so they could go to the same college. Tara believed the dream was over two years ago, but now she couldn't believe it was actually happening. Gazing at Iris, she couldn't resist the smile that spread across her face.

Iris feeling the stare, turned to her friend with a smirk of her own. "Why are you staring at me you creep?"

"I can't believe you just called me a creep"

"Then don't act like one" Tara softly punched her in the arm while Iris pretended that it hurt her.

"I'm just happy"

"About what? It can't possibly be the traffic" Iris joked though they both knew what Tara meant.

"About us going to New York...together" Iris stared into Tara's eyes. "With the rest of course, but I just... I guess I never thought we would get here after everything".

"I will never not feel guilty about that" Iris stared down at the steering wheel in shame before Tara grabbed her hand and squeezed it in order to give her comfort.

"Don't, it wasn't your fault" Tara truly didn't blame her. "Don't get depressed, we still have like five hours in this car, if you cry I'm going to kill myself"

"Not guilty anymore, fuck you" They both laughed.

After a few moments, Tara received a message from Sam saying she was already at their new apartment while Chad and Mindy were close behind. It seemed as if they were the only two left with a long way to go, trapped in the confines of the car as the city loomed ahead like a distant dream.

"So what can we do in New York?" Iris asked, glancing out at the blurred skyline that gradually sharpened into focus. "Aside from visiting all the obvious places."

Tara's face lit up with enthusiasm. "We can watch a lot of movies." There was a spark in her eyes; she had always loved movies and her major in film studies reflected her passion. It was her escape, a world of imagination where anything was possible. But for Iris, who was knee-deep in her psychology studies, movies were just a distraction—something she'd never quite understood.

"When you say movies, I hope you don't mean horror movies," Iris said, a frown creeping onto her face. The very thought made her stomach twist uncomfortably. Tara and Mindy's casual enjoyment of the genre baffled her, especially after everything that had happened five months ago.

"Well..." Tara began, a playful glint in her eye.

"How can you like them so much? I'll never understand." Iris shook her head, exasperated.

"Horror movies are great for several reasons, Iris." Tara's tone shifted to that of a passionate lecturer, and Iris groaned in annoyance for the impending explanation. "First, they provide this incredible adrenaline rush from jump scares and tense moments. It's an addictive experience, really, embracing the unknown. Second, they explore deep themes, like the human psyche, societal fears, and moral dilemmas. And third," she continued, her excitement bubbling over, "it's just really fun to watch them with friends"

"I literally do not care about anything that you just said"

"You cared enough to listen until the end" Tara smiled cheekily at her, she knew Iris was just being annoying on purpose.

"Whatever" Iris muttered, crossing her arms. "Weirdo"

"Hater," Tara shot back, pointing a finger at her in exaggerated mock anger. "We can watch Hereditary, The Witch, It Follows, The Conjuring..."

"The only one I know is The Conjuring" Iris interrupted, her voice tinged with reluctance.

"Really? You watched it?" Tara asked, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yeah, I watched it with Am..." Iris's voice trailed off, the name hanging heavily in the air. Just saying it conjured a wave of memories she wasn't ready to face. Amber. She had watched it with Amber.

"You know you can say her name, right?" Tara's gaze softened, her expression tinged with concern and pity. Iris hated that look. It felt like a reminder of everything she wanted to forget.

"She doesn't deserve to be named," Iris snapped, her frustration bubbling over.

"She doesn't, but how else can you move on?" Tara's voice was gentle but firm.

"I have moved on," Iris insisted, though her heart felt heavy with doubt.

"No, you haven't, and that's okay. No one has, honestly." Tara sighed, her eyes drifting toward the city lights as they flickered to life against the dusk. "I have nightmares most nights, and every time I hear a phone ringing, I can't help but startle."

Iris looked away, her throat tightening. She remembered the echoes of shouting, the blood spilling everywhere, the sound of a bullet being fired and the sudden quiet that had followed the tragic events of that night. They had all been so trusting and naïve. Now, the shadows of the past loomed large, and the memories they had with the people they once loved had been tinged with anger and loss.

"It's just... I want to enjoy things again without thinking about her," Iris finally confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.  "It's like she's everywhere".

Tara reached over and squeezed her hand, a silent acknowledgment of the pain they both carried. "I get it, Iris. But sometimes, facing those fears in whatever way we can think of can help us heal, even when it feels impossible."

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of Tara's words sinking in. The traffic continued to crawl, but in that moment, the world outside faded away. All that mattered was the bond they shared, their unspoken understanding of grief, loss, and the faint glimmer of hope that one day, they might truly move forward.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you". Iris said, her voice barely above a whisper, laced with sincerity.

Tara looked away, feeling the weight of her trauma press heavily on her chest. "It also happened to you. Don't be sorry for something you had no control over." Her tone was firm, but the quiver in her voice betrayed the strength she was trying to show.

"She hurt you because of me," Iris insisted, the guilt etched across her face like a permanent shadow.

"She would've hurt me either way, Iris," Tara replied, her heart aching at the thought of what her "best friend" wanted to do to her. They both knew that she was right but Iris couldn't help but feel like without even knowing she pushed Amber to insanity.

A few moments of silence passed, and the tension between them hung in the air. Iris felt a crack in her armor and let herself be vulnerable. "I don't know how to move on," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I don't know if I ever will."

Tara squeezed her hand tightly, rubbing small circles on it with her thumb, grounding them both in the moment. "You won't forget what happened but you will move on. It will take time, but we all will." There was a warmth in Tara's eyes, a flicker of hope that Iris longed to believe.

"How can you be so sure?" Iris asked, searching her friend's gaze for answers.

"Because if we don't, then they win." Tara's voice was steady, filled with fierce determination. She locked eyes with Iris, a fire igniting between them. "And I'm not gonna let them win. I'm not gonna let them ruin me."

Iris felt her heart swell at Tara's words. "You amaze me," she said softly, a smile breaking through her sorrow.

Tara blushed, ducking her head, her cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment and pride. After a moment, she looked back up, her eyes shining. "Surprisingly enough, I'm following Mindy's advice."

"Mindy's advice? Oh, we are so fucked," Iris joked, a laugh escaping her despite the heaviness in her heart.

"I know, right? Insane," Tara replied, her laughter mingling with Iris's, creating a brief moment of levity in the darkness. But then Tara's expression shifted, becoming serious. "But she did tell me something that really resonated with me."

"What's that?".

"The first step to let go of that day is to let go of the anger," Tara said, her voice steady.

Iris pondered this, frowning. "How do you let go of the anger?"

Tara took a deep breath, her gaze distant for a moment as she searched for the right words. "By acknowledging what they did. By saying their names. If we ignore it, if we don't say their names, then we are still living in that day, and I refuse it."

"I refuse it too," Iris echoed, her voice firmer now.

As they sat in the car, the city lights flickering to life outside, Tara gently brushed a stray hair from Iris's face, her fingers lingering just a moment longer than necessary. The simple gesture sent a flutter through Iris's chest, a mix of warmth and something deeper that she dared not name.

Tara's hand remained intertwined with Iris's, and as they shared a look filled with understanding, Iris couldn't help but notice the way Tara's eyes sparkled.

"You're stronger than you realize." Tara said softly, her thumb tracing the back of Iris's hand.

Iris felt her heart race, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Maybe I could just follow your example". she admitted, the weight of her words hanging in the air between them. "What's the first step to let go then?".

"Well, I started by saying, Richie and Amber, the fuckers that tried to kill us." Tara's voice trembled slightly, but as she spoke the names aloud, a surprising softness washed over the moment. Iris let out a soft laugh, and it immediately made Tara smile.

"Richie and... Amber, the fuckers that tried to kill us," Iris echoed, her tone teasing yet light, as if saying their names had somehow lifted a weight.

"You see? First step." Tara beamed, her heart swelling with the shared act of acknowledgment.

"When did you get so wise?" Iris asked, a playful lilt in her voice.

"When I realized that someone had to be the smart one in the group," Tara replied, her grin widening.

"Oh, fuck you," Iris shot back, laughter bubbling up between them, brightening the somber air like the city lights emerging against the night sky.

"We are still not watching The Babadook" Iris declared once the conversation shifted, shaking her head firmly, but the mischievous twinkle in her eyes betrayed her playful intent.

"Oh, come onnnn," Tara whined, pouting dramatically as she leaned into Iris's shoulder, her warmth radiating against the taller girl's side. It was moments like this, filled with laughter and light-hearted banter, that made the heaviness of their shared past feel a little lighter.

As the drive continued, the atmosphere shifted; it was filled with laughter and banter. They talked about everything from silly childhood memories to their expectations in their new life in New York.

And if Tara and Iris held hands during most of the trip, well, no one had to know about it.

[hayakawalove]

Innocence Lost (Chapter One)

All Chapters

Summary: After a messy situationship, you and a friend decide to start fresh with a girls night. You meet a mysterious man at the bar who instantly charms you. Toru Oikawa. After an unforgettable night, you find yourself falling for him, without knowing who he really is.

A/N: I'm so excited for this fic! I wanted to try a new way of writing, and it turned out way better than I was expecting. I've never written anything like this, so please be patient with me. I really hope you enjoy! I would love to know how you're feeling after you read it!

CW: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Humiliation, Brief Mention of Cheating (not between Oikawa and Reader), Assassin AU, Post Time Skip, Female Reader, AFAB Reader W/C: 12,408

Credit to cafekitsune for the banner

The smell from the dinner you made is permeating in the house, while your nails tap the glossy wood on your kitchen table. You were getting impatient. Of course he was late again. It shouldn’t shock you, and it didn’t, not really anyway. This was the third time this week that he came home later than expected. He promised you he would be home two hours ago. You try to tell yourself that it isn’t a big deal, but that makes it hurt even more somehow. 

Why does it even hurt? It’s not like he belongs to you in the first place. 

All he is is your best friend and roommate, nothing more. Even if the two of you have crossed the line together multiple times. 

The lock from the front door clicks, and you suppress a shudder. You can hear his fingers grab the door handle before easing it open, as if he could maybe sneak by you if he tried hard enough. It was a little bit insulting, if you were being honest with yourself. You were tired of a lot of things, you were tired of waiting up for him even though part of you knew he wouldn’t show, you were tired of acting like everything was fine, but above all else you were tired of being made out to be stupid. 

Your best friend carefully tiptoes through the threshold of your front door, his teeth tightly clenched as he attempts to be as quiet as a mouse. He slips his shoes off one at a time, nudging the priceless black John Knobbs to the side, next to your much less expensive naturalizer flats. His keys are clenched tightly in his fist, preventing the metal from clanging against each other. You can hear the sound of fabric rustling as he shrugs off his black jacket, placing it on the corner of the couch before he makes his way further inside. 

You, the ever observant tabby, lift your chin up as you prepare for an argument. 

“Welcome home, I’m glad you could finally join me.” You say, venom laced in your words hinting at the fact you weren’t really glad. 

You play the part of a spiteful girlfriend, even though you aren’t even at that status yet. 

“Oh- uh, hey.” He looks startled as he glances around, gaze flicking back and forth between you and the dinner that was much too cold now. 

It’s awkward. An uncomfortable silence settles over the two of you. Who would break it first? The expression on his face shows that he knows he’s been caught, he knows he’s in trouble. Disappointment laces your features as you keep your eyes trained on him. 

“It’s late, Atsumu.” 

“Uh- yeah, sorry I got caught up at the office again.”

You look down and notice the first button on his shirt is undone, and there’s a smear of what looks like red lipstick stained on his collar. You don’t wear red lipstick. 

“You smell like alcohol.” 

And he did. There was a distinct smell floating over to you now that he was only a couple of feet away. Your eyes were beginning to water, and you were unsure if it was due to the pungent scent or for some other reason. 

“Some of the guys brought some drinks while we finished up.” 

You almost appreciate the persistence of his lies, if it didn’t make you so furious. You hum and turn your head back towards the spread of food in front of you. Steak, green beans, and noodles that were once appetizing were now cold to the touch. It was making your stomach sour. The meal had taken you hours to make, you were excited to share it with him. Maybe you were a fool. 

Atsumu shuffles in his spot, you can tell he wants a way out of the situation. It wasn’t always like this. This is a new development. The two of you had been best friends since childhood. You were such good friends that you decided to move in together during adulthood. You knew each other more than the back of your hands. Over the past year, the lines blurred. It’s hard to remember who even made the first move. It was probably him, but it could have just as easily been you. Once it started, it was impossible to stop. The two of you were so intertwined that it was almost inevitable. The only issue is that you weren’t ‘official’. No matter how much it felt like you were. You aren’t even sure why you weren’t. Maybe it was a carefully concocted plan on his side. If he wasn’t official with you, he could still see other girls. Even if it felt like you were special. 

And what’s worse, he treated you like a girlfriend. He was kind, bought you gifts, made you laugh. You couldn’t pinpoint when things became ugly. When he became unhappy with your arrangement. Somewhere along the way he stopped calling you beautiful, stopped holding you at night, stopped caring. 

You dig your teeth in your lip as you stare at the plate. Your eyes are watering even more now, your sight nearly blind due to the salt water that dripped from your lids. Atsumu slides closer until he sits across from you, his hands clasped on the table in front of him. All he does is watch, watch as you fall apart in front of him. 

It doesn’t make sense. He wasn’t betraying you. There was never a promise to break in the first place. Yet still, you feel the sharp tip of a blade stab your heart. 

The old Atsumu could’ve never done this. He would’ve never hurt you in this way, you’re positive. The old Atsumu hated to see you cry. It broke his heart. His warm arms would envelop your body and he’d apologize, apologize until his throat was sore, not that it was ever his fault in the first place. The new Atsumu just sat across from you, watching as tears poured down your face. You wonder if he feels bad. Part of you hoped he would. 

Why did he string you along, make you feel as though you belonged to him? Like he belonged to you? Was it for the sex? You would have liked to believe he wasn’t so shallow, but you aren’t so sure anymore. 

You remain quiet, refusing to make any noise in case it might show how actually hurt you are. Salt water slides down your cheeks, and you can taste the remnants of it on your lips. It tastes like betrayal. 

How could he do this to you? 

Did you cause it?

He was supposed to be your best friend. How could he hurt you like this? 

Should your little arrangement never have started in the first place? Maybe your other friends were right when they told you not to stir the pot of your relationship. 

All at once insecurity grabs ahold of you, its deep claws sinking into your tender flesh. It reminds you of all the times you could’ve been better, of all the times you might have done something wrong. You peer up at him with wide eyes, hoping for some comfort, because even now you still look towards him for love. 

Atsumu has a blank stare on his face. No longer awkward, as if he’s accepted his fate. Maybe he’s relieved that he won’t have to keep lying. He looks into your eyes, and you almost wish he would have looked away in shame. His eyes are hollow. How could a gaze that used to be filled with so much love turn into something so heartless? 

“What even are we?” Your voice is shaky as it comes out. 

You don't know the answer to that. Best friends, sure, but you’re more than that. Best friends don’t know how each other's skin feels at night. 

“Friends.” 

How could such a beautiful word cause so much pain? 

“Atsumu.” You begin. 

He licks his lips and looks away. 

“You know that’s not true.” You murmur. 

“We aren’t dating.” 

“We may as well be!” You argue. “What am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to feel?” 

What an ugly mess. 

“I don’t belong to you.” 

His answer is resolute, as if he’s been thinking it this entire time. It hurts because it’s true. A strangled sob racks your body and you shift your hands beneath the table to claw at your legs. Your nails dig into the fabric of your pants, desperate for something to ground you. Was he really doing this to you? 

If you knew this is how it would end, you wouldn’t have gotten tangled up with him in the first place. Maybe it really was your fault. 

“Atsumu,” you begin, unsure what you were even going to say next. 

He finally looks away from you before standing up, shoving the chair back. He had the audacity to look slightly angry. Why? Why was he angry? What did you do to him? Atsumu steps away from the table to unbutton his shirt while walking towards his bedroom. The same one you’ve shared countless nights together in. 

That’s it then. The conversation was over. 

You feel safe enough now in his absence to finally start crying, echoes of your despair rattling throughout the apartment. You feel awful, and you feel awful for even feeling awful. He’s been treating you like shit for a long time now, you know that, but you can’t help but to cling to the past; memories of your old love plaguing your mind. 

You sob until your body becomes sore. Your throat is hoarse and your eyes burn. There’s no energy in your body to do anything else. You pull yourself up to your feet, and will yourself to walk to your bedroom. You hadn’t slept in there in ages. The food would just have to wait until tomorrow. You can’t fathom the idea of trying to put it away now. 

The bed is cold and empty when you flop onto it. Atsumu isn’t laying beside you, the bed feeling larger than it ever had before. Your bedroom door is open and you can see light leaking through the hallway from his room, you think Atsumu must be in there doing something. You don’t know what. 

Even now, under the safety of your covers you’re reminded of him. The sweater you wore was his. His cologne clings to the clothing like a sick reminder. You wonder how long it will stick. 

When you wake up in the morning Atsumu isn’t beside you. Why would he be? Last night felt like a dream, some kind of nightmare. You know it wasn’t though, because the two of you didn’t sleep next to each other. He slept in his bed (if he stayed here at all), and you slept in yours, just like how you did before this whole thing started. You feel like your body is full of lead as you sit up, your cheeks sticky from all the crying you did. Your eyes are puffy, you don’t even have to look in a mirror to know that. All you want to do is rot away in bed. But you can’t. Not when there’s a table full of spoiled food waiting for you. 

The process of cleaning the kitchen up takes longer than it normally would have, if not for your mental state. It’s sad how you have to force yourself to move, force yourself to be productive. As soon as you finish, you notice a notification on your phone. Not from Atsumu. 

Ikumi: Hey, free tonight? Wanna party?

You bite your cheek and slowly type out a quick response. 

You: you were right about Atsumu 

Ikumi has been your friend for almost two decades. Even longer than you and Atsumu had been friends. She’s been with you through thick and thin. You tended to be a bit more reserved, but she was the opposite. Carefree and happy. You wish you were more like her, maybe then Atsumu wouldn’t have strung you along. 

Ikumi: what?! I’m coming over

You: please don’t 

The mere thought of seeing another person made your head hurt. All you wanted to do was curl up in a ball. Ikumi never liked Atsumu, so you were unsure how effective her comforting words would be. 

Your screen lights up with an incoming call and you can’t even pretend to act surprised. Of course she was going to call. You take a long deep breath and click the green answer button before turning her on speaker. 

To her credit, she listens patiently the entire time. There are no ‘I knew it’s, or ‘I told you he was bad for you’s. Just quiet humming as she lets you get it all out. After you’re done telling her everything, all the way from the dinner to the lipstick, you feel a tiny bit better. It felt nice to get it all out, but there still was a pain deep inside your heart. 

She offers to come over but you decline it once more, telling her that you really just want to be left alone. Ikumi doesn’t push the subject and instead tells you to call her if you ever need anything. It feels nice to be loved. 

You don’t know how long you spend alone. Every day has been much of the same, staying in bed as memories flick through your head. Atsumu had left the day after your fight, most likely going to stay with family. You haven’t showered in a week and all you’ve had to eat were frozen things. You were running low on supplies, but you dreaded the idea of having to go in public. 

Ikumi has given you space, which you were grateful for. Although now you’re starting to desire human connection, but you aren’t even sure what you want. Maybe she could come over and the two of you could just watch something? 

Just as you begin to ponder, you get an incoming call from the woman herself. 

“How are you feeling?” She asks, concern in her voice. 

“Still like shit.” You respond, because it's the truth. 

“I know what you need. We need to go out for the night, what do you think?” 

You internally groan and cover your eyes with your arm. Being in public sounded awful right now. You couldn’t stand to be around judgy eyes and strangers. 

“I don’t know Ikumi-“ 

“No, no! Come on, it’ll be fun. We haven’t been out in such a long time, it’ll just be you and me.” 

Well, she wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

You wander to your closet with her still on speaker in your right hand. As you look between your clothes, you feel your stomach tug. The last time you changed was right after the fight with Atsumu. God, you were a mess. 

“Just wear something sexy, I’ll come pick you up in two hours, okay?” 

Would that even be enough time to clean yourself up? It would have to be. Ikumi would drag your ass out even if you weren’t ready. You mutter a ‘goodbye’ before hanging up, tossing your phone on your bed to begin flipping through your clothes. You hadn’t dressed up in a long time. There were several dresses in the back of your closet, you were unsure if they would even fit. You let each individual clothing piece slip through your hands as you push each item to the side. You land on your favorite black dress from years back when. The fabric feels foreign beneath your fingertips. You tug it out and hold it in front of you, your eyes trailing down the outfit. It was sexy. 

One long shower later and you almost feel refreshed. The scalding water washed away some of your pain. You look like a completely different person when you step out. Your makeup and hair take just as long as your shower did (45 minutes). It’s hard to figure out what to settle for, so you just pick something simple. You leave your hair down and decide on a natural look for makeup. To your surprise, your dress still fits. It’s a bit tighter than you remember it being, but then again maybe it was supposed to be like that. It did make your boobs and ass look great. 

It’s a simple black dress, stopping mid thigh to show off your legs. You feel a bit exposed in the outfit, but the longer you look the more it builds your confidence. You had felt self conscious this past week for obvious reasons, but your shoulders were starting to feel lighter now that you were taking another look at yourself. 

Ikumi calls when she pulls up to your apartment. There’s a mixture of fear and anticipation crawling inside your stomach, fighting over each other. You were going to have a good night, you tell yourself. You don’t know if you believe it or not. 

Ikumi’s car is nice. There are expensive leather seats and an air freshener between her vents making the car smell like lilacs. It fits her. The outside was jet black, but the second you stepped into the car you were greeted with heaps of pink. The splash of color makes you feel just a tiny bit better. Ikumi sends a quick glance your way to acknowledge your presence, with a soft smile on her lips. She’s treading lightly, you can tell. She knows things aren’t completely back to normal yet, so she doesn’t want to push too much. 

“You look wonderful.” She says. 

“So do you.”

Ikumi is wearing a skin tight dress, purple fabric covering her figure. Her cleavage was out, so much so you feel a bit bad for staring. Her long brown hair is curled, hugging her shoulders as she waits for you to buckle up. 

The ride to the bar was nice. Ikumi rolled down her windows to let in the fresh air, and the feeling of it whipping your face left you feeling renewed. Lights from the city flash by, brightening up the entire car. There’s pop music playing on her radio, the vocals relaxing you.

The second she slows the car down, you know you’ve arrived. It’s a bar you’ve frequented more than several times before, often enough that you know the bartender by name. Saeko. A brazen woman with a boisterous laugh. Ikumi parks the car and you’re left to prepare yourself before entering the building. She looks towards you and asks if you’re ready, which you aren’t entirely sure you are. But there’s no time like the present. You reach for the door handle and force yourself up, standing to your feet as you shut the door behind you. It looks busy inside and you’re happy about that. 

The interior of the bar is dark, as expected for similar establishments. The floor is black granite, along with each table top. The sparkles from the floor reflect from the dim lights above, making it look like you’re walking on diamonds. Saeko’s working tonight, and she can be seen behind the bar chatting with a customer. When she catches sight of the two of you out of the corner of her eye, her face animates.

You can tell that she’s shooing the other customer away in order to make room for you. Ikumi walks ahead of you, sliding onto one of the bar stools. You glide into the seat beside her, and let her do the talking. 

“Hey Saeko, how are things tonight?” Ikumi starts the conversation off while Saeko begins to make your usuals. 

You let their conversation fall to the background. It’s easy to zone out here, the lull of the music putting you in a trance as you look around. You see new faces and faces you’ve seen countless times before. Most of the patrons were regulars, including you. You weren’t even sure how that came to be. It didn’t feel like you fit in at this high end bar. The two of you just happened upon it years ago, and it quickly became your favorite. 

Saeko slides over your glass with a meager grin. Ikumi must have told her what was going on. You take a sip, noting that Saeko poured with a heavy hand tonight, before facing the two women. 

“So… did you want to talk about it?” Ikumi pries, her chestnut eyes flicking over to you as she drags a manicured nail around the rim of her glass. 

You really didn’t want to, but you know you should. 

“There’s nothing to talk about. We slept together a couple times. We weren’t ever official,” you feel your voice get smaller as you stare at the counter. Your eyes water with the memory. You remember the sleepless nights the two of you would share together where he would hold you tight, acting like he would never let you go. Promises floating from his lips that you were special to him. 

It all only started a year ago, but you’ve felt this way much longer than that. You may have even loved him. You thought he felt the same. 

The two women are listening intently, eyes never leaving your face. “I just thought I meant more to him. I guess I didn’t though, he was still hooking up with other girls at the same time. I just don’t know why he would’ve treated me like that. Like I mattered, if it was only for sex. He didn’t cheat, but it felt like it.” You force the words out, each syllable tasting like acid on your tongue. 

Situationship from hell.

Ikumi looks downright furious when you look up. Saeko’s face is scrunched up as she hears you recount the details. 

“Men are fucking pigs.” Saeko murmurs. 

You agree there. 

“And like, I know it’s my fault. He was free to do what he wanted. I just wish he was upfront about it.” Your tone is pathetic and you can tell. You throw back the rest of your drink and feel your mind get slightly lighter. 

“No! It’s not your fault at all. It’s his for being a dickwad.” Ikumi downs the rest of her drink, intent on staying at the same pace as you. 

And that’s how the night progresses. You recount each awful thing he’s done over the years, feeling your anger fuel. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol, but it was starting to feel like it was the right choice to end things. 

“And he, he lives with me. I see his shit all over the place. I can’t escape.” You whine, unsure what number you were even on now. 

Ikumi is just as gone as you. Her face is shiny and she leans against her elbow looking at you. You aren’t even sure if she’s still listening, but that doesn’t really matter. 

“You know what you need? You need to dance it off.” Ikumi says, getting off her chair. She’s unsteady on her feet at first, her fingers gripping onto the counter top. 

“What do you mean ‘dance it off’? I don’t feel like going to a c-“ 

“Saeko, turn the music up.” Ikumi grabs hold of your hands and pulls you from your chair. The world spins on its axis as your feet touch the ground. 

Crowds have begun to fill the space. Heat is bouncing off all the bodies next to you. Saeko leans over and turns the speakers up, letting the melody fill the bar. Tove Lo is on, her song “Glad That He’s Gone” filling up the bar. A bit on the nose, but you don’t mind. 

Ikumi turns forward, slapping her hands on the granite. It’s impossible to tell what she’s going to do until you see her jumping up. 

“Are you-“ you begin. 

She manages to sit on top of the counter, swinging her legs over. Ikumi reaches a hand out, and you feel the last remaining bits of apprehension in your system. 

“Come on.” She encourages. 

And that’s all it takes to convince you. 

You grab her hand and jump up on the counter. Saeko is unfazed as she watches you stand up, a tiny smile on her face. The two of you have caught the attention of several onlookers, but instead of feeling embarrassed you just feel empowered. Ikumi begins to dance and your body does too, letting the tune flow through your veins. You felt carefree. And so, so good. Fuck Atsumu. You could have fun without him. 

Your body sways back and forth, your hands dragging up your frame as you dance. You don’t feel fear about falling off the counter, there’s only music. The crowd below you has begun to dance as well, and you let your eyes trail around the room. You see girls dancing, their laughter filling the room. In your periphery you see men sit at tables, their eyes wandering around. 

Your heart is pounding, head swimming. You dance song after song, happiness spreading throughout your system. You were so glad Ikumi convinced you to come out tonight. 

Eventually she had to jump down in order to pee, so you reluctantly hopped down as well. Saeko reaches a hand out in order to help you step down, which you gratefully take. You don’t even notice the heat of a new presence beside you.  

“You’re new here.” A man states. 

You whip your head around to face the voice. A tall man with brown hair is looking down at you, his eyes flicking over your face. 

“I’m not,” you reply, your gaze sliding down his figure. 

He's dressed pretty nicely. A gray button up with black pants. It makes you wonder what he does for a living. There's a multitude of jewelry dotting his outfit from rings to a necklace. 

“I guess I just haven’t seen you before. What brings you out tonight?” He steps a bit closer to you, his cologne instantly filling your nostrils. His demeanor is calm as he waits for a response. 

“Girls night.” It’s a bit hard to know how to talk to a man. You haven’t had to do it in a long time. Not when your eyes have only ever been focused on Atsumu. 

You fall into the stool next to you, your feet pleading for a break. 

“Yeah? I didn’t know dancing on counter tops was a common thing for that.” He must be teasing you, there’s a tiny smile on his face. It fills you with warmth. 

“Yeah, it’s not. I just got my heart broken, so…” Your mouth moves before you can think. It seems like honesty is on the menu for tonight. 

“His loss.” 

You feel your heart stutter at his words. For a moment, it feels like you must’ve misheard him. You peer up at him to look for a sign showing you that he’s joking, but you find yourself empty handed. Instead, he glances down at you with a cocky grin. A shiver runs up your spine and you force yourself to look away again. 

“Can I buy you something to drink?” He asks, sitting next to you. His presence isn’t unwelcome per se, but it does strike you as a bit odd. This man could have anyone tonight, yet he chose you. 

“I've had enough for the night,” you reply, your brain begging for you to slow down.

“Water it is, then.” 

He flags Saeko down before placing an order for a water as well as a whiskey. Saeko's eyes flick over to you before she turns around once more to retrieve the drinks. It’s hard to decipher the look she gave you, but if you had to guess it would be something along the lines of “jump his bones”. 

“My name is Toru, what’s yours?” 

You say your name, missing the smile that spreads on his lips. The water bottle gets passed to you and you gratefully accept it, tossing back a gulp of the liquid. Toru holds the glass of whiskey carefully in his hands, taking measured sips. 

“I know, heard your friend say it.” 

“Why’d you ask then?” 

“Wanted to see if you would tell me,” he jokes. “Wanted to see if you’d be interested in me enough to tell me.” 

When you glance back at him, he’s already looking at you. He wets his bottom lip with his tongue before setting the alcohol down. Heat spreads across your stomach and your heart begins to speed up. You were interested in him. 

“You have your answer then,” you act confident even though that’s the last thing you’re feeling. 

“Where’d your friend run off to, anyway?” 

Good question. Unless she fell into the toilet it shouldn’t be taking her this long. You turn in your seat and look around the building, faces that don’t match Ikumi’s clouding your vision. Desperation crawls up your skin, and you begin to fear that she may have left you here all by yourself. Suddenly, you hear her loud laugh from across the room. You flick your eyes over to her and find her sitting at a table with a man, the two of them looking mighty cozy. As you watch, she places a hand on his chest and leans in to kiss him. Your brows raise as you watch the salacious scene unfold. 

“Oh, guess she found Iwa.” Toru says, following your gaze. 

You look towards Toru, staring at his side profile as he continues to watch them kiss before turning back towards you. 

“You know him?” 

“Yeah, he’s my best friend. Guess they both bailed on us, huh?” 

You let out a chuckle, and his features light up immediately. It’s as if he was waiting for a reaction from you. 

“I think you bailed on him first to come talk to me.” 

“And it was worth it,” he quips, nudging his foot against yours. 

You chuckle softly, nudging your foot back against him. He smiles at that and allows himself to fully relax, letting his shoulders hang as he looks back at you. 

“So how do you know Saeko? I saw you guys talking earlier.” He asks, a hint of curiosity in his tone. 

So he was watching you. The idea that he’s had his eyes on you all night was unbelievable. How did you miss him the entire time? You bite your lip as you feel his gaze burn holes into you. 

“We met here. We always talk whenever Ikumi and I come out. We used to come a lot more but you know…” you let your eyes carefully pick out the details of his face. “Life gets busy.” 

Toru hums at that, leaning against his hand on the counter. There’s a glint in his eyes, shining under the dim light of the bar. He looks like he knows something you aren’t privy to. There’s an air of confidence that seeps from his bones, and you can’t help but find yourself desperate for more. 

“That it does.” He murmurs, glancing down towards your lips before looking away. He tosses a look towards Saeko, who rolls her eyes and smiles. “I’ve known Sae a long time, I was friends with her brother back in the day.” 

“Friends? Yeah, that’s funny. I’ll make sure to tell Ryu you said that.” Saeko laughs, the tone of her voice rich like silk. 

Toru pouts and lifts his drink up, the rim pressed against his mouth. He takes a small sip before setting the glass back down. There’s liquor on his bottom lip, which he slowly licks up with the slide of his tongue. The action draws your attention far too much, and you think he noticed. 

“Fine, we were friendly competitors.” 

Saeko huffs a laugh before grabbing a bottle of wine to fill up a stranger's glass. Competitors? You wonder what he means. You didn’t know much about Saeko’s brother. You knew she had one and that they were similar, but that was about it. She was proud of him and would talk about him sometimes, but it was only surface level stuff. 

“Competitors? In what?” You ask. 

Toru sneaks a look towards Saeko underneath his lashes before darting his eyes away. Her nose twitches and she shrugs, looking unbothered. 

“Oh you know how boys are. Their friend groups would just try to beat each other in everything.” 

“Competition is what makes life fun.” Toru tags in, lifting his glass once more, his pointer finger lifted from the cup and sticking out towards Saeko. 

Your mind drifts back to Atsumu, unfortunately. He was competitive too. Almost too much. You would always try to calm him down when he got too heated. You’d like to think you toned him down over the years, but you’re unsure. 

You wonder what he’s up to right now. You plaster on a grin and softly chuckle, agreeing with the two before looking down at the counter top. Maybe he was having dinner right now. You were always the cook out of you two. Maybe he was ordering in? 

As your thoughts run away from you, you feel the soft graze of finger tips against your shoulder. When you peer up, you see Toru’s worried expression. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” 

Your mind immediately becomes a blank slate, all thoughts of Atsumu vanishing without a trace. Toru’s brown eyes are wide with worry, his lips slightly turned into a frown. That’s right, you were here to enjoy yourself. Screw Atsumu. You didn’t want to dedicate any more time to him than you already had. 

“Yeah. So what do you do for work, Toru?” The second you say his name, his mouth morphs into a smile. The calm and cool demeanor is back, and he relaxes into his seat. 

“Well, I’m a freelancer. I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that,” you’re about to ask what he means but he changes the topic. “What do you do for work?” 

“I’m a student actually, but I’m a waitress too.” 

“Beauty and brains? Lucky me.”

Heat rises to your cheeks and you clear your throat and look away, suddenly flustered. Toru chuckles to himself before leaning in closer to you, his arm wrapped around the back of your chair. His cologne fills your nostrils, the heavy musky scent making your breathing stutter. He must know the effect he has on you, as his lids are low and there’s a cocky smile resting on his face. 

“I, uh. Just brains.” 

“I happen to think you’re very beautiful.” Toru twirls a piece of your hair between two of his fingers. 

You suppress a shudder as you watch your locks fall from his fingers, before dragging your eyes back up to him. It’s hard to breathe around him. His presence is all consuming. 

“Come on, take it outside.” Saeko complains from across the counter. 

You’re snapped out of the daze, turning your head to look towards her. There’s a sly smile on her face as she watches the two of you. You know she’s not mad, not really. 

“Oh come on Sae.” Toru whines. 

“No, plus we’re closing up soon anyway.” Saeko responds. “Last call!” She raises her voice, a series of disappointed sounds filling the bar. 

What time was it? 

You check your phone and note that it’s nearly 1 am. How the hell did that happen? Toru exhales and stands up from his seat, holding a hand out to you. His touch is warm as you accept his offer, your legs easing off the chair beneath you. 

“Wanna go for a walk?” He asks. 

“Sure,” you breathe out. 

But first, you needed to do something. 

Looking around the bar you find Ikumi still wrapped around Iwa. The two have wide grins plastered on their faces, their hands wandering across each other's bodies. You wonder if you should go over there and drag her home instead. It would be the right thing to do. It would be the smart thing to do. 

“She’ll be safe with him, he’s a good guy.” Toru picks up on your hesitation. 

Could you trust him? Saeko did apparently, so that was a good sign. You fix your hair and start off towards Ikumi and Iwa. 

“Hey, are you staying here?” You ask. 

“Yeah! I think I want to hang out with him a little longer.” Ikumi giggles, dragging her manicured nails down his cheek.

Iwa looks down at her face, his eyes attached to her lips. Your body feels hot all over from the clear display of attraction. It was a girls night but she was going home with a man. You did spend the last while talking with one too, so maybe you weren’t all that better.

“Call me if you need me.” You murmur to her. 

It’s hard to know if she hears you over her raging hormones. She laughs and places a kiss on Iwa’s neck, running her hands across his stomach. 

“Oh, hey Toru-“ Iwa stutters, looking past you. 

You look over your shoulder and find Toru standing behind you, his posture relaxed as he watches the sight in front of him unfold. 

“Hey, having fun?” Toru teases. 

“F-fuck off.” 

Toru laughs behind you, and steps forward to wrap a hand around your waist. Your breathing gets caught in your throat as his fingers tighten around you. 

“I’ll see you later, Ikumi.” 

She pulls away from Iwa and smiles, waving you goodbye. You and Toru step away, his hand still attached to your waist as you navigate through the bar. It’s still packed, but there’s a steady stream of people leaving as it was closing soon anyway. Toru holds the door open for you, and you step out, the brisk air enveloping you completely. You suppress a shudder as your body acclimates and Toru walks up to your side. 

“Beautiful night, right?” He comments, sliding his hand away from your waist. You find the sudden lack of contact disappointing, your bottom lip slightly jutting out. 

Toru looks down towards you, a gentle smile on his face. You knew he was attractive in the bar, that much was obvious, but it’s like you’re seeing him in a completely different light under the moon. The night sky treats him kindly, letting white rays illuminate the side of his face. His hair is chestnut brown and wispy, a portion of his bangs covering his forehead. His eyes are like chocolate and kind, the sides of them crinkled as he looks down at you. Inside the bar he looked sexy, but out here he looks marvelous. 

“Shall we?” 

The words don’t register to you, not first anyway. You’re too caught up in his beauty, your eyes focused on the small details of his face. He raises his brows as he waits for a response, the action causing you to snap out of it. 

“Oh! Yes.” You tear your gaze away and look down at the ground, heat rising to your cheeks from being caught. 

“I didn’t know you drank that much.” Toru teases, starting off down the sidewalk. 

“I didn’t drink that much.” You ramble, following after him. 

The crowd thins out the further you guys walk down the sidewalk. You aren’t scared to be alone with him, even if you know that maybe you should be. 

“No? You just make a habit out of staring for fun?” He’s joking, and the ease of it all makes your heart lighten up. The conversation is flowing so well, it feels like you’ve known him for weeks. 

“Says the guy who’s been watching me all night. Plus, I only stare when I’m looking at someone who’s-“ Your lips blabber, liquid courage still flowing through your veins. 

Toru stops in his tracks, his eyes watching your movements. “Who’s what?” 

He knows what you were going to say. He just wants to hear it from your lips. 

“Who’s hot.” You put on a brave front, eyes darting to the side. 

Toru coos, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. The action is entirely too delicate, the pads of his fingers brushing against your scorching flesh. It causes your face to tingle, a rush of energy bursting under your skin. 

“Aren’t you precious?” It’s a bit condescending, yet the tone of his voice is sultry. 

Your breathing stutters, your teeth instantly digging into your bottom lip. He must know he did something, because he lets out a chuckle before he resumes walking. He gives you no time to address the situation before he’s moved on, his hands now shoved in his pockets as he leisurely glides across the sidewalk. You catch up to him, letting your eyes wander around the buildings you’re passing. The area is nicer than what you’re used to. You’ve never walked this way. Toru must’ve taken a different route than what you’ve been on before. It isn't rich by any means, but there are a handful of businesses scattered around, the reflection of your bodies shining off their windows. 

You stroll for a while, words bouncing off each other as you make conversation. You talk about your classes, what your job is like, and how his day was. You’ve been walking for an indiscriminate amount of time, and the impromptu ‘date’ feels like it’s nearing its end. 

“Let me walk you home,” Toru offers, his posture relaxed as he looks down at you. 

Honestly, you aren’t even really sure that’s a good idea. It’s a bit dangerous, you think. Not just because he’s a stranger, a man you only met tonight. You think it’s dangerous because you like him. There’s happiness flowing throughout your body for the first time in weeks, and you’re actually having fun. And he was easy on the eyes. 

“Okay,” you agree. 

The two of you backtrack until you’re by the bar once more, where you begin to walk in the direction of your house. There’s a gentle breeze kissing your skin as your heels clack against the sidewalk. 

“So did you have a good girls night?” Toru asks, glancing your way. 

“Yeah, although I didn’t really want to come initially.” You reply, looking at him before darting your eyes away. “I’m glad I did though.” 

Toru smiles and looks up towards the moon. Silence floats over the two of you, but it isn't awkward. 

“I was a bit surprised when you told me about that guy. Did you want to talk about it?” 

You pull your arms close to your chest. Did you want to talk about it? 

“Just sucks, is all. We knew each other for a long time. I really cared about him. And I thought he cared about me too.” Your voice gets softer at the end. “I liked him a lot and we were best friends. Doesn’t help that we’re roommates. I have no idea what’s going to happen with that now…” 

You hate the pang of sadness you feel in your chest at the memory. Toru listens quietly, until you’ve finished speaking.

You realize you may have said too much. Your dilemma feels like a major red flag. Nervously, you look up towards Toru. 

He doesn’t look as bothered as you would have figured. His eyes are slightly widened, but other than that he looks normal. 

“No shit, huh?” He says. 

“Yeah.” 

The two of you walk in silence a bit longer before he asks a question. 

“Did you love him?” 

A couple of months ago you would say ‘yes’ with complete certainty. Now, you aren’t so sure. 

“I thought so, though maybe I just liked the idea of him more.” You dig your nails into your arms. 

“If it helps any, he’s a dumbass. I’m not sure why he’d fuck things up with you.” 

You grin, feeling a sense of happiness spark inside you. Toru was easy to talk to, almost a bit too easy to talk to. You feel a sense of ease each time he speaks, something you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“Well, I’m flattered.” You respond. You’re glad you didn’t ruin the mood. It may be a long shot, but you decide to ask anyway. “So, is there anyone in your life right now?” 

Toru’s brown eyes flick to you before he looks back up at the night sky. There’s a deep sort of sadness behind his irises, one that’s a bit hard to pick up on. You may have missed it, had you not also been feeling the same way. 

“No,” You almost feel bad for asking, if not for the grin he sends your way. “Why? You interested?” 

You chuckle breathlessly and roll your eyes. He straightens up at your response, as if he was keeping a tally of every time he made you smile. 

“And if I said I was?” 

Toru cocks a brow at that. You think you see a flash of disbelief cross his face, but you aren’t sure if it’s a trick of the light. 

“I’d ask if you were sure.” 

Now what kind of question was that? 

“Of course I’m sure.”

Toru shakes off the seriousness of the situation, the vulnerability, before lifting his chin up. The quick changes of his moods are leaving you reeling, only making you want to know more. 

“How’d you and Iwa meet?”

Toru chuckles, as if he’s reminiscing about some fond memory. 

“We’ve been friends since we were kids. We went to the same school and I never left him alone. He just sort of let me hang around and the rest is history.” 

The idea makes you smile. You could see that. You haven’t known Toru long, but it feels completely in character for him to just force his way into someone’s life. Much like how he did with you. 

The two of you talk as you stroll down the sidewalk. There is no rush. Not only was Toru extremely easy to talk to, but he was fun. You had forgotten what that felt like before tonight. 

The view of your apartment comes sooner than you were hoping for. Instead of the relief you were expecting to feel, you feel disappointed. The night is over, yet you want more. 

“Thank you for walking me home.” You toss over your shoulder. 

“Of course.” His words drip with honesty. 

He follows closely behind you as you make your way to your apartment. The hallway leading up to your front door feels a little less lonely than it did before. 

“This is me.” You turn around after sticking your key in the lock. 

Toru’s looking side to side, as if waiting for someone else to pass by. Once he looks down at you, a grin spreads across his face. It sends warmth throughout your body. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” 

“Aw, you’re worried about me?” You place a hand on his chest, easing it up near his throat where you pull at his collar under the pretense of fixing it. 

“I just know you were pretty upset earlier.” Toru follows the action with his eyes, before looking back down at your face. 

“Yeah. I just need to forget about it all.” You run your tongue along your bottom lip slowly. 

“Did tonight help?” 

“It did.” You try to breathe deeply but it’s as if all the air around you was sucked out. 

There was only you and him. His light brown eyes appreciate your face, and his lips are inches away. 

You know you shouldn’t. You know that. 

You’re heartbroken, and this is a stranger. He won't be able to fill the hole in your heart from Atsumu. 

All the rationalities fly straight over your head. They weren’t important. 

“Do you want to help me forget some more?” You look up from beneath your lashes, your hand trailing down his chest. 

He doesn’t say anything for a couple of moments, instead choosing to look at your face. You’re worried you may have misjudged the situation. Maybe he wasn’t interested in you. 

“I can help you with that.” Toru steps in closer, pushing your back up against your door. 

You aren’t completely sober yet, but you’re sober enough to grasp what you’re doing. Toru leans in, his lips just a breath away. He doesn’t close the gap, instead letting you make the final decision. 

Fuck it, what’s one night with a stranger. 

You press your lips against his, feeling the heat from his mouth transfer over to yours. A moan pushes behind your lips, threatening to escape if he pulls away. There’s a grin on his face, you can feel it against your lips. He tastes like whiskey and split second decisions, and you’ve never tasted anything better. You fumble with the door knob behind you before you’re finally able to turn it open. Your feet stumble beneath you as you walk back, you would have nearly fallen over if not for Toru’s hand on your lower back keeping you steady. He steps in behind you and closes the door after him without even breaking the kiss. You both kick off your shoes as you desperately grasp at each other's bodies. 

You need oxygen before he does, so you pull away to get a gasp of air. The room is spinning as Toru moves his mouth to place kisses down your throat. They’re wet and sloppy, complete messes as he trails down your neck. He runs a hand through your hair, letting your strands wrap around his fingers. You can feel his teeth scraping against your skin, unspoken temptation for him to bite down. 

Your hands slide down his chest where you grab to feel his body underneath. You knew he was in shape just from the sight of him, but you were beginning to think that maybe he was even more athletic than you thought. Your hands grope at the muscles underneath his shirt, and he lets out a chuckle against you. 

“Want me to take it off?” He asks, his teeth finally biting down on your jugular. 

You whine and tilt your head back in the opposite direction, letting him have even more reign than before. His mouth pushes down so he can begin to suck, making a moan float from your lips. 

“P-Please,” You ask, your voice shaky. 

Toru pulls away and looks down at you. You must look like a mess. Your lipstick has to be smudged, and you wouldn’t be surprised if your hair was fucked up from his fingers. He gives no indication that you’re anything less than marvelous. There’s a sparkle in his eyes and a soft smile on his face when he leans down to place another quick kiss on your lips. Then he’s stepping away again, his fingers starting to work on his shirt. Before you know it, all the buttons are undone. He unbuttoned it faster than you would have. His shirt is open now, hanging off his shoulders to give you a glimpse of his abs underneath. Toru yanks the shirt from his body before returning to you, both of his hands reaching up to keep your face in place as he pushes his lips against yours. 

There’s even more urgency now, a desperation flooding the gates as he kisses you. He lets his hands drop down to your thighs where he lifts you up, your legs automatically wrapping themselves around his waist. Toru presses you against the wall by the door, and you feel a mildly sharp pain spread across your shoulders from where your body makes contact. He quickly soothes you by sticking his tongue out, trailing it against your bottom lip. Your mouth opens and he slides in, tangling his tongue with yours. You almost forget you wanted more than a kiss, it was knocking you off your feet. Toru remembers the same time as you, as he steps away and turns to walk more into your house. The ease at which he walks and carries you is astonishing. You ignore the discarded shirt on the floor as he steps around it, walking down your hallway even though he has no idea where he’s going. The lights in the house are completely off, Atsumu still wasn’t back, so you’re forced to trust his blind instincts to not run into something. 

“To- to the right.” You moan against his lips. 

He follows your instructions and pivots, bringing you further into the house. Your hands slide down against his arms where you appreciate the muscles holding you. Toru finds your room and walks inside, the bright moon from your window finally providing some light. 

Toru places you on the bed and then stands up straight. The moon compliments him, the soft white light bathing him. His stomach and chest look mesmerizing. The curves of his muscles reflect the light as he reaches up to run a hand through his hair. 

Your mouth feels dry as you watch him. The moment almost feels unreal. Sort of like a dream. You dig your teeth into your bottom lip and he leans down, crawling on top until his heavy frame is completely over you. He kisses you once more as you inch backward, giving the two of you more space. 

“You’ve got a nice room,” he murmurs, placing a hand on either side of you. 

“You can’t see it.” You respond, meaning for your words to sound like a joke, but instead they’re airy and needy. 

Toru hums and pushes a piece of your hair behind your ear. Your hips arch up while you look at him. 

“I suppose so,” he trails his hands up your sides, his fingers sliding underneath your dress as he pushes it up. 

You reach down to help pull it off your body, throwing it across the room. It hits the floor, the sound of the impact against your hardwood filling the room. Toru chuckles as he grazes a finger over you, and goosebumps quickly follow. 

Your hands run away from you as you grab onto his skin, sliding up and down. He’s smooth. Toru lets you feel him as he slides in between your thighs, opening them wide enough for his hips. His fingers are making quick work of your bra, his warm palms finding their way beneath your body as he unclasps your bra before pulling it off. He throws it to the side, where it lands in the same direction as your dress. You’re getting nervous now. You haven’t had sex with anyone since Atsumu. Will it be good if the love isn’t there? Will you be able to indulge yourself in the pleasure completely?

“Lift your legs, baby.” Toru requests. 

He snaps you out of your thoughts, and you see his fingers laced in your underwear. He wants to pull them down, but he’s waiting for your help in doing so. You nibble on the inside of your cheek, pushing your legs up so he can slide your underwear off your body. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, tilting your chin up with his pointer finger. 

He must have been able to sense your mood. 

“Yeah,” you sound breathless in your response. 

“Do you want to stop?”

“No! No,” you murmur, pulling him back down towards you. He follows your lead, his bare chest pushed against yours. 

The scratch of his nipples against yours sends a rush of adrenaline through you. It sends your mind right back to the place you initially were. Your nipples pebble as he pushes against you, sending a short wave of pleasure through your body. 

Toru presses a kiss to your lips once more. It’s different this time. A bit more tender, a bit more soft. Like he’s bringing you back down to earth. He kisses his way down your body, and you watch with bated breath as he inches closer and closer to your pussy. 

His hands spread your thighs open where he selfishly invites himself in. He’s more broad than you by far, but you force your legs to comply. 

“Tell me if you want to stop,” he murmurs, placing a kiss on your thigh. 

You wet your bottom lip and watch as he purses his lips, letting a large dollop of saliva drop onto your pussy. The sensation causes your legs to twitch, so much so that you almost close them. Toru is one step ahead, as he holds you open while he leans in. His tongue makes contact with your clit, where he licks hungrily. A moan escapes from your lips as he licks you. His tongue is firm and pointed while it circles your clit, drawing out groans from you. 

His fingers are digging into you now, the restraint he’s showing is applaudable. You can feel the trickle of his saliva dripping down your pussy, getting you ready for what was to come. 

“T-Toru!” You moan.

Toru licks your clit, his eyes never leaving your face. He’s unabashed about it. He reaches up to you with his hands and you immediately get the hint, intertwining your fingers with his. Toru lets you squeeze his hands as you hold them, your fingers digging into the back of his hands. He’s groaning as he eats your pussy, and you aren’t sure why. Either he really liked the way you taste, or he likes the pain you’re doling out on his hands. 

He wraps his lips around your swollen nub, sucking softly before increasing the pressure. It felt so fucking good. You were a fool to think it would be anything less than. You’re positive that nothing else has ever felt like this. In that moment, you decide he’s ruined you. You don’t think sex with any other man would ever compare. Your hips jump up as you try to get more from him, even though he’s seemingly already giving his all. 

Your legs lay against his shoulders, while his face is buried in your core. You’re almost worried he doesn’t have enough space to breathe, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Toru’s moaning into your cunt, alternating between sucking your clit and fucking your hole with his tongue.

“You’re gonna make me, you’re gonna make me cum!” You groan, unable to look away from him. 

“Yeah? Gonna cum on my tongue, baby?” His hot breath sears into your pussy as he speaks. 

“Mhm,” 

Toru grins against you before pulling away, placing open mouth kisses around the inside of your thighs. All the momentum that he had built up was slowly draining away, replacing all the heat in your body with something much more lukewarm. Your brain’s malfunctioning as you watch him. 

“What the hell?” You sound a bit dejected. 

“What? You wanted to cum that early? That wouldn’t be any fun.” Toru clicks his tongue, his brown eyes slyly looking at you. 

He must be taunting you. Your bottom lip juts out as you pout, your eyes flicking away. Toru coos at you and nips your leg, making you jolt. 

“I’ll tell you what,” he says, his mouth inches from your pussy once more. “How about you cum on my cock instead, hm?” 

You look back at him, and you almost wish you didn’t. Toru sticks his tongue out, laying it flat as he licks a single strip from your hole all the way to your clit. It’s slow, but it feels so fucking good. 

You whine, clenching your toes as you watch him. 

“How does that sound, pretty girl?” 

You murmur a ‘yes’, too flustered to say anything further. 

“Yeah? You want that?” 

His face is lit up as he keeps egging you on. 

“Toru…” you mumble, nervously glancing between his eyes and your wall. 

“Aw, I’m just teasing you.” Toru lets go of your hands, and you immediately feel a sense of sadness wash over you. 

You wish you could keep holding them. 

He sits on his calves, looking down at your poor pussy while he rubs the insides of your thighs, soothing all his love bites. He looks like he’s contemplating something, before he finally glances your way once more. 

Toru crawls up to you, and you can see the shine of your wetness smothered across his lips and chin. He sticks his tongue out to clean up, but it barely makes a dent in the mess. Once he reaches you, he smooshes his lips against yours. Your nerves are on fire as you kiss him. Everything feels like it’s been amplified, as if all the pleasure in your body was nudged up to 100%. 

He leans back again, sitting on his calves as he digs around in his back pocket. There’s an urgent expression on his face, his eyes full of determination. 

“What’re you looking for?” You ask, your pussy desperately needing to be filled. 

“Condom.” He murmurs under his breath. 

Toru finds his wallet and pulls it out, fingers shuffling between cards as he looks for protection. He retrieves it, fingers making quick work of opening it. 

You shouldn’t. 

You know you shouldn’t. 

“You don’t have to wear it,” you say, knowing damn well you shouldn’t have. 

Toru’s eyes look up to you where he studies you for a second. You reach down to tide yourself over, your fingers dipping to your clit where you circle it. 

“No?” He questions. 

“No, unless you want to.” 

Toru chuckles once before throwing his wallet to the side. He’s easing off his pants, finally fully naked like you. It’s hard to appreciate what his cock looks like in this lighting, so you put faith in the fact that it must be as pretty as him. 

He’s hovering above you, his face inches from yours as he situates his cock closer to you. You share the same breaths, each of your heads spinning from ecstasy. 

“Ready?” He asks, pushing his cock against your pussy. 

“Yeah,” you groan, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

Toru eases his cock in, going slowly at first to acclimate you to his size. You wrap your legs around him, silently urging him for more. Toru pays no heed to your actions, instead sliding in at a slow pace. 

“Toru, please. I need it.” You whine, digging your nails into the skin of his back. 

“Patience, baby.” He kisses your forehead. 

You’re positive you’re full already but he keeps going. You’re starting to wonder how big he is, until he finally stops. It feels like he’s behind your belly button, the depth causing your breath to stutter. You wanted it faster, but now you aren’t so sure that was a good idea. 

Toru places a kiss on the side of your sweaty neck before he pulls away once more. He’s admiring your face, the way your eyes are almost rolling to the back of your head. 

“I'm gonna start now, hold on tight.” 

You could slap him at the teasing tone of his voice, but you refrain. Because he was right. You may need to hold on tight. Toru pulls his hips back, leaving only the tip of his cock in your depths. You dig your nails in harder, anticipating the feeling of him plunging back inside. On the way out, his cock scrapes against your gspot causing a moan to slip from your lips. Toru’s glancing down at you to see your reaction, before he presses himself back inside. You wince as he enters again, the mixture of pleasure and pain holding you hostage. 

“What happened to ‘faster Toru?’” Toru says, pressing his chest against yours once more. 

“Shut up,” You say it with a sharp voice. “You’re so big.”

You know that he knows that. He must have an idea, just from the way he was prepping you beforehand. Toru chuckles and slows his hips down, only pushing into you shallowly. 

Your pussy grips onto his cock as he fucks you, making it nearly impossible for him to pull from you. Slowly, your body gets more warmed up to his size. He pays close attention to your face, pressing himself further in the more you relax. Your eyes are shut as he fucks you so you can focus on loosening yourself up. You expect him to look frustrated when you open your eyes, but he doesn’t. He looks patient, an easy smile on his face as he fucks into you. It causes your breathing to stutter, an odd sensation flowing throughout your body. 

“Ready,” you say softly. 

“Yeah?” Toru arches a brow, looking down at where you’re connecting. 

You almost wish you could see how it looked from his perspective, but you're sure it would push you over the edge. 

Toru speeds his hips up, fucking you at a faster pace. The sensation feels better than anything you’ve felt so far. His cock was reaching places you could only dream of yourself. You’re moaning as his cock drags against your walls, and they tighten around him. He’s also groaning, his face pinched up in concentration as he fucks you. 

He’s still only an inch away, the closeness of his body only heightening your senses. Sweat is beginning to drip from his forehead and you’re sure it’s from restraint. He has an crooked grin on his face as he fucks you. You dig your nails around, trying to release some of the bottled up pleasure. 

Toru reaches down with one of his hands, skillfully locating your clit as he begins to draw circles on it. You moan louder, the feeling of both his cock and his fingers only bouncing off each other. 

He pushes himself to sit up straight to have more power. The new angle leaves you reeling. His finger rubs against your nub faster, as he delights in the sounds you let out. His fingers and cock are bringing you closer than you thought. Toru slams into you, his cock filling you up. The room feels sweltering, there’s sweat lining your body, surely staining your sheets. You can’t remember the last time you’ve been fucked this good.

“Feel so god damn t-tight,” Toru says, his words faltering at the end. 

His torso is shining in the moonlight, and his hand has a hard grip on your knees as he fucks you. His cock presses against your gspot each time, earning a slew of whines from you. Toru’s thumb swirls around your puffy clit, making you clench around him more. 

“So fucking full, holy f-fuck!” You’re close to sobbing now, your head thrown back as he fucks you. 

You wish you could quiet down. Toru’s moaning, and you really want to hear it. But you can’t, not over the sounds you’re making. 

Toru’s speed increases, his hips pistoning in and out of you so fast you can hardly catch a breath. He’s going hard too, the feeling of his cock pounding into you surely leaving bruises. 

You grab at the pillows behind you, digging your fingers into them for some sort of solace. Toru’s murmuring things above you that are hard to discern. His hands have a tight grip on your thighs as he fucks into you, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was leaving marks there too. 

“Taking me so well.” He’s speaking under his breath. “Fuckkk,” He draws the word out. 

“Toru, Toru,” You moan, feeling yourself inch closer. 

His soft brown eyes flick to you instantly. He must be picking up on what you’re trying to say. 

“You gonna cum for me, baby?” His thumb slips around your pussy, the wetness making it hard to stay in one spot. 

You groan, digging your teeth into your bottom lip. It feels like you’re going to burn up any second now. The bed is shaking beneath you, you can hear the rustling of the blankets under you. 

“Yes!” You try to take in a shaky breath. “Yes,” you sob. 

“Yeah?” He’s focused on your face, circling your clit with his thumb as he fucks into you. 

He must feel it before you do. He lets out a drawn out moan once you start to cum, your pussy keeping a tight grip on his cock. White hot pleasure floods through your veins, temporarily blinding you. It feels so fucking good. Toru doesn’t stop rubbing your clit until you start to whine his name. 

Once you do, he takes his thumb away and lifts it up to his mouth, where he pops it between his lips. The sight leaves you dizzy. 

Instead of fucking you hard and fast, he starts to roll his hips. You think he must be close, it’s written all over his face. 

“I’ll pull out, just, just give me a second.” He lets out a deep breath, trailing his palms against your thighs. 

He’s savoring every inch of you. 

After he’s composed himself, he looks back down at your face. Even though you had just cum, your body was still sensitive. 

“Hold on for me, okay?” 

You blink the tears away from your eyes and agree, unsure what he was even getting at. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck. He lets his speed pick back up once more, as well as how hard he was going. Even though he had given you a heads up, you still find yourself reeling. 

“T-Toru!” 

“I know, I know. Take it for me, okay?” His brows are furrowed while he concentrates. 

Your body shakes beneath him as he uses you. His cock pushes into you at a rough pace, leaving you breathless. 

“Okay, I’m gonna- Fuck,” He moans, looking down at your pussy. 

The sight must make him lose his breath. 

You want him to cum inside. You want to feel his hot seed spill into you until it leaks back out, staining the bedding beneath. 

Before you can ask for it, Toru slips from your hole. He jerks himself off above your body, using your cum as lube. You want to seer the sight into your brain. He lets out a loud groan as he begins to cum, white shooting out from his cock onto your tummy. 

It’s a welcomed warmth as it pours onto your skin. Toru keeps rubbing himself until nothing more comes out. His shoulders sag while he composes himself. A soft feeling floats over your body, and you relax into the bed. 

You drag your pointer finger through the cum on your stomach. It’s still warm as you bring it up to your mouth, pushing your finger past your lips to taste. Toru watches it all unfold, a cocky grin on his face. 

“You’re unreal.” He murmurs. 

You grin up at him, taking that as a compliment. The cum settles on your tongue, salty but mostly unflavored. Toru leans over you, one hand holding himself up beside your head while the other tilts your face up, with his finger beneath your chin. The two of you share a moment, neither of you breaking eye contact. 

“I know,” you respond, your voice low. 

Toru lets out a chuckle, before leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips. You weren’t expecting that. The moment is over quicker than it started. He leans back up, looking around the room. 

“Do you have a towel I can use?” He asks, eyes flicking back to the pool on your stomach. 

“Oh! You can use-“ 

Toru’s standing up off your bed, digging in the hamper beside you. He pulls out a white shirt, looking over his shoulder towards you. 

It was Atsumu’s shirt. 

He had lent it to you a year ago, but you had never returned it.  

“What about this?” 

You don’t know how to respond. Your breathing stutters as you try to form words. Toru raises his brows while he waits, a confused expression on his face. 

“You can-“ 

“Great.” 

He turns around, walking up to you once more. You watch as he drags the shirt against your skin, cleaning up any remaining evidence of your prior activity. It almost feels like betrayal. But then you remind yourself that it isn’t. 

Once he’s done wiping you clean, Toru balls up the shirt and throws it into the hamper again. He sits besides you, and when he looks back he notices the apprehension on your face. 

“Hey,” he begins. He cups your cheek while he speaks. “You doing okay? Hopefully it helped at least a little bit.” 

Oh. Yeah. You told him you wanted him to help you forget. 

And he did just that. You forgot, all up until this moment, anyway. 

You smile, and reach out to grab his other hand. His skin is warm beneath yours, a welcome feeling to the otherwise cool air around you. 

“It did, thank you.” 

Toru lets his hand slip from your face and he begins to look around once more, until his eyes find your clock. Maybe he was thinking about leaving. The idea shouldn’t hurt you as much as it does. He wasn’t anything to you. 

“Are you heading out?” You force yourself to ask. 

“I should,” The clock reads 3 am. Its bright, red numbers providing a sliver of light. “Do you want me to?” 

Oh. 

“No.” You answer before you can put any real thought into it.

You aren’t sure why you wanted him to stay, but you knew that you didn’t want to be alone. Toru strokes the back of your hand with his thumb before slipping free from it, standing up. 

“Alright,” his tone is soft, as if he was telling you he’ll stay. 

You scoot to the side of the bed, giving him more space. He crawls in beside you, lifting up the covers as he slips beneath them. You follow the action, letting your body brush up against his. Under the blankets next to Toru, you’re warm. You can pretend that all is right with the world. You can act like this is any other night. 

He pulls you close to him, your naked bodies fitting together immediately. You rest your head on his shoulder, letting your finger trail across his chest. His breathing is steady beneath you, and you focus on the slow rise and fall of his chest. 

“Thank you for coming home with me,” you say, your nails dragging across his skin. 

Toru hums underneath you, his fingers strumming your shoulder. 

“Of course.” 

You let your eyes close. This is nice. Even though the past week has been shitty, you’re at least glad that you met Toru. Even if tonight was the only night you would see him. 

If you want to be tagged, please let me know. Just specify what you want to be tagged in.

[evilcoconutz]

How I met Neil Newbon.... Twice

TLDR at the bottom. This literally has 2,944 words so I totally understand if you wanna skip around, I tried adding little chapters to help chop it up a bit. I'm a very details kind of person lol.

This took me like two days to type out, still can't believe this happened to me.

I just wanna say that I got a very unique experience and got extremely lucky. When I say I got LUCKY, you have no idea.... I have a shitty memory and will forget this if I don't type it out. This is mainly for myself to come back and re-read again and again. This is my memory of Fan Expo Dallas and meeting Neil Newbon.

I decided to go all three days because Neil had two separate panels I wanted to attend. One on Friday and the other on Sunday. I went dressed as a Sith on Friday with lil Batstarion on my shoulder with a tiny magnetic lightsaber (Space Cowboy of course). We did some shopping and walking around before trying to get my signature with Neil that I had scheduled for that day. Neil's panel that evening was like 7:45 pm and so we joined the line to get the autograph well before then. Around 5ish I think. I get to the back of the line with my husband, we sit there about five minutes and only one other person lines up behind us. (I only uploaded pics of my druid outfit and not my Sith, just imagine the same shit but with a black dress and black and red pauldron, I also carried my personal lightsaber)

I cannot explain how long this line was. it would be at least 2+ hours before we could get through the line on a Friday, I couldn't imagine what Saturday would be like.

It's been a few years I have been to Fan Expo, the crowds would not get better, and I knew that much.

Having every intention of standing in line and waiting multiple hours just to get his signature, I looked around and saw so many amazing Astarion, Karlach, Gale, and Shadowheart cosplays. Not too far from this amazing cosplay!

We also saw a Damon and Karlach hanging out, a couple of Alfira's too!

A Fan Expo Staff Member goes through the back ends of the line and picks out those who have an "All Days" pass, which included us.

He pulls about 20ish of us aside and explains that if we come back tomorrow, we had two options. *Checks Neil's itinerary on phone* "He's got nothing scheduled before noon tomorrow, if you see him at the table early don't hesitate to get in line."

-----The red ticket-----

So if we accepted this red ticket our options were:

Come back between 10-10:15 am tomorrow and get in line asap, to be first in line, they usually only allow VIP to line up during this time and if we had the ticket, we would be allowed through.

Come to the VIP booth tomorrow between 12:30-1 pm and MAYBE get a spot if there are any left.

Don't accept ticket and rejoin the line.

-----Saturday and the virtual line-----

Obviously we wanted to come back the next day to be there before 10:15, but between traffic and trying to find a parking spot we were late. My hubby almost insisting I get out and go stand in line while he wait in traffic <3 Soooo sweet, but I didn't wanna be there with out him!

Before we even get to the sign floor... yeah... it is so crowded we be sardines. We bee line it for Neil's line and immediately get told we need to come back in an hour because the line was completely full. BUMMER. We decide to walk around a bit more to kill time for said hour. There is so much to do and see at Fan Expo, do not sleep on some of these panels! Free programming and cosplay building, it's amazing!

We come back an hour later and are greeted with a virtual wait line! Yay!

I have nothing against these, but as we accepted our virtual wait ticket, we asked about our red ticket from the day before.

We were then told our best bet was either to wait until 12:30-1 pm to go to the VIP booth or wait for our number to be written on a white board they had put up (virtual wait list number in which we could line up). I wish I had a picture of it, but it was incredibly crowded.

-----Let's Go, Baby!-----

12:30 pm just rolled around and we were curious what the white board number was, it wasn't close to ours so my husband asked where the VIP booth was (we had no idea what this meant btw) and were directed to the other side of the celebrity signing area. As we approached, there was only one couple before us. The Staff asked who we were there to see, "Neil Newbon, we have a red ticket." The couple ahead of us was there to see Jim Cummings, which was the booth next to Neil's. There was a brief walkie talkie moment, I had kinda spaced out and my husband tapped me and said "Let's go, baby!" I was like "Uh, where?!"

"To Neil" The staff then swept all of us through a maze of people, we formed a small train apologizing to any one we bumped into. The very kind woman who was in front of us commented on my dress and metal halfling ears. She said she had seem them at Renfair and always wanted a pair (I told her go for it next time, I highly recommend! <3)

They pushed us into a small waiting line next to those who had been waiting for hours. This felt so weird, like I had skipped the line or something (which yes, but like... not for sinister reasons). I probably had about 10-15 mins max to think of what to do or say.

Right before it was my turn to approach the signing table, one of the workers noted "Yall don't have to be so nervous, I can see yall shaking, he's really nice!" Even while standing at the front of the line one of the other staff members came over to chat with another staff, pointing at Neil saying "He's one of my favorites! So nice!"

The girl that was right in front of me, she was trying to load her QR code and the signal wasn't the best. My heart would have hit my stomach if that were me. Imagine waiting all that time and now your phone won't load! Yikes! She did finally get it, I'm glad I had mine printed. Take screenshots of your QR codes if you can't print them!

So now it's my turn to walk up to the table, but just before meeting Neil, they ask your name + spelling on a card, they ask if you want to add a small quote (5 words), large quote (more than 5 words), table picture, signature, that kinda thing for an additional fee. He has prints you can choose from (unconfirmed but possibly free if you pay for signature, looked like Streamilyish prints). She asked "What are we signing today?" I then asked if cloth was ok, and she said it was fine. I told the lady behind the table my 5 word quote and she was a bit stunned, lol. Looked at me like I was crazy or something.

The person in front of me was one of those whom had been waiting quite a long time in line, she was so nervous to get her words out to Neil, like she had been rehearsing all day what to say. She looked proud afterwards and happy.

I honestly didn't know what I was going to say, I'm one of those people who cross that bridge when I get there. I was not prepared at all, but I was confident I wouldn't say anything stupid.

I cannot tell you how hard it was to look Neil in the eyes. I am 5'0" and this guy is tall, his eye's are very blue and it's really hard to keep eye contact, at least for me.

We walk up to the table and he immediately held his hand out and said "HI! I'm Neil!" I shook his hand and told him my name, he said nice to meet you and looked at my husband.

"And you are?" He held his hand out as well.

"Dakota, I'm her husband." My husband got to shake his hand too!

In the loudest Astarion voice, "HER HUSBAND?!? Oh there's nothing to see here, err umm side eye" He kinda did this looking away motion with his hand. We laughed and he leaned on the table and said "What's going on guys?" Nobigneil? Verytallneil! Even with him leaning on the table.

I chose to introduce my Batstarion first. I plucked him off my shoulder and placed him on the table. I told him I missed him yesterday as a Sith because Batstarion was a Space Cowboy. I had Batstarion hold the lit lightsaber and Neil said "Surely I'm not going to sign him..."

"No, you'll sign the material I made him out of!"

"Alison

Feeling cute

might decapitate

later! Astarion

Maker <3"

Immediately, he smiled and said "That's from one of my recent live streams."

"It is!" I replied with glee.

He asked me to hold the fabric so he could sign it. As he wrote the quote, he read it out loud just like he does on his signing streams. he warned me the marker would bleed horribly and I did not anticipate what he meant...

I thanked him but I wasn't expecting what happened next.

Neil held out his hand again after finishing the signature for a handshake, but then met the top of my palm with his other hand "See you in the Streams" He spoke so genuinely. His eye contact pierced my fucking soul. Dedz. I honestly don't think I even said anything after that, it stunned me.

I quickly swept my things off the table to make way for the person behind me, not paying attention to exactly what I was doing. I was just trying to not waste anyone's time, I only had to wait a few minutes for Neil but everyone else waited hours. It didn't feel fair for me to stay longer.

I am not kidding when I say people waited for hours on end. When he was swept away to a photo op or to a panel he was involved in, people waited. I don't think I ever saw his line short.

We walk away from the booth to an empty corner to wrap up my cloth, I brought like 1/4 of a yard of fabric so I could wrap it up on itself. That's when I notice Batstarion and honestly wasn't even upset.

It so bled....

He meant what he meant...

Batstarion got bled on... lol... accurate.

TBH I'm shocked the cloth survived all of that, the ruffle and shuffle of bumping in to others through that traffic on a Saturday...

I had the idea of going to see what number was, up on the white board it was at 1030. I wouldn't have even been able to line up yet. This felt unreal.

-----The Waiting-----

So! Now it's time to take a photo with Neil on the SAME DAY.

It's almost 1 pm at this point and it was so crowded, we decided to go ahead and make our way to the photo op area. Neil's photo op wasn't until 2:30 pm so we decided to just wait it out.

Around 1:30 my husband noticed a spot had opened up closer to the entrance of the photo op line area. They started calling for last call for Mads Mikkelsen, in booth A. I noticed some people in a hurry to get there, I looked up and I see one of my favorite Youtubers!

FunkyFrogBait! I only got like the side of their face, but the glasses and hair were unmistakable. Here's their channel:

https://www.youtube.com/@funkyfrogbait

Seriously though, if it wasn't them, it was a damn good cosplay! Really wish I could have said HI and spread the love, but I never saw them again.

Anyway...

I bought my FanExpo tickets on mother's day and added the signature for Friday and the photo op for Saturday. This put me in group A for the photo op. Depending on when you buy your tickets and how many people buy them is what group your are put in.

I don't remember what time they started calling for VIP line up for Neil NewBORN. This made me laugh, no one corrected this poor man the whole time.

I think there were three people total that lined up in VIP. As soon as they called for group A line up for Neil Newborn, we were off and got in line fairly quickly. Only a few moments waiting in line and an older man that was just passing by, stopped and asked us what we were in line for. My husband said "We're in line for a photo with Neil NewBON." He just said ok and waved his hand as he left. The lady behind my husband snickered and said "Newborn" as if mimicking the announcer.

"Pfft! I know right!?" Suddenly, I was approach by someone who had this in their hands and they gifted it to me!

I'm actually still wearing it as I'm typing this.

I squealed "OMG!!! Thank You!!!" Seriously! So cute!

The energy of all the people waiting in line, it was very comfortable, we all knew why we where there. Soooo many amazing cosplays waiting in line, we saw a Heisenberg, and several Lady Dimitrescu's, a couple of Astarion's.

-----The Photo OP-----

The line is FULL. We have maybe six people in front of us including VIP.

This doesn't feel right, it feels like I just cheesed and speed ran my way into meeting Neil in the shortest amount of time possible without being VIP on the busiest day of FanExpo. WHAT?!?

Granted, I bought my ticket way in advance for the photo op and we got there early, I never thought I would ever be so close to the front of the line like this!

It's time to start the photo op so VIP goes first, but we where right behind them. They bring you, along with 4-5 others into a small room with a table, that you can set your bags on. My husband just held onto ours.

The process of this was so amazing to me, I have never taken a photo with a celebrity before and had no idea what was going to happen. There is very little preparation they give you to take the photo.

Back to back, they give you maybe 10 seconds to prepare. SNAP. Go. SNAP. Go. SNAP. Go. SNAP. Go.

I got a glimpse of the first photo, she had a stuffed Astarion, she had Neil hold upside down. All the others just walked up, posed, left. By "pose" they just did a side hug.

I didn't know what to do so I just did the same thing as everyone else. I walked up and immediately, he went "Heh, Druid..."

At first, I thought we were going to take the same picture as the ones before me, but to my surprise, he touched my antler and said "Ooo pointy" When they called for the picture to be taken he literally yelled

"HORNY!"

I'm sure my face went bright red after that. I said thank you and turned to walk away. He even said "Nice to meet you!" as I left. I was again shocked and didn't say anything! Ugh... Kicking myself a little over that.

As we left, my husband pointed out, Neil really didn't say anything to anyone else. They sent us down a winding pathway to get our prints. We came to a small area and prints started shooting out of the printers so fast, it was actually amazing. (Six Flags take a fuckin note!) Anyways, here is my photo with Neil, my face blocked out because I look like a deer in headlights lmao!

So yeah, if you ever get the opportunity to meet him, you should! 10/10 nicest dude ever. Those bracelets he's wearing are the ones his fans have gifted to him in case you were wondering.

So what's really great about this photo, it looks like Batstarion is leaning on him! <3

I zoomed in and you can really see the red from his signature and his cowboy hat!

This is what he looks like today, it's almost completely gone, dunno if I want it fully gone though tbh.

So yeah. I just wanted all of my memories in a place I could keep them. I don't play with Facebook, Twitter, Insta, Snapchat, or any other social media, so I only post here. I hope you enjoyed my rambling!

The serotoneil was very high this whole weekend! Sunday would be the best day to go if you have kids!

BTW both panels he was in was very entertaining! This clip was from Friday's!

TLDR: I got to skip big lines to see Neil Newbon and maybe saw one of my favorite Youtubers? Batsarion got red ink from Neil's signature.

My Druid cosplay:

https://www.tumblr.com/evilcoconutz/752031078643040256/druid-cosplay-update?source=share

My Batstarion build:

https://www.tumblr.com/evilcoconutz/751141069044023296/lets-write-these-wrongs?source=share

[losersroom]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @tetrapod7! thanks man, this was a fun one.

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 17 on my current account. there's more on my old one and obviously that doesn't count everything i published on other platforms (livejournal, ff.net) in the ancient days, lol

2. what's your total ao3 wordcount? again just on the wolfspider account, 168,153. i cant tell if that feels low or high to me

3. what fandoms do you write for? right now, just wild hrpf. in the past it's been mostly anime and various cartoons.

4. top five fics by kudos: i'm hitting the skip button on this because like. wrt my own work i think it's not a very good metric of EITHER how popular those stories actually were OR the quality of them; they're mostly the TUA ones and im chalking that up to that fandom being Huge when i was active. my most kudos'd fic of all time is still how much was mine to keep, though, and i think that one holds up.

5. do you respond to comments? i try to now. i went through a long phase of not engaging with comments due to Social Anxiety and also being kind of fed up with the hyper-combative culture in the fandoms i was in. like i wanted to just yeet my work out there and be done with it. in hrpf fandom i'm actually interested in the community aspect though so ive been trying to get over myself and respond as best i can.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the brodsfabes time loop fic, hands down. it's weird because as a reader i am um. not very into unhappy endings or unconsummated angst but every once in a while when i'm writing i'll get into a Mood and write something viscerally upsetting. anyway that one was pretty clearly me processing some grief that was happening in my real life, lol.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? probably entangled, from my spiderverse days. ngl i kind of hate it now though so let's move on from this. i think most of my fic has happy or at least ambiguously-positive endings, though.

8. do you get hate on fics? only one time ever and it was someone complaining that a ship i tagged for wasn't present in the story after One Chapter so. we're discounting that one. i've been pretty lucky!

9. do you write smut? yeah. my relationship with writing pornography ebbs and flows, like. sometimes i'll be really into it but sometimes i'll just stick a sex scene into a story where i feel like it's the least interesting thing that happens because people expect it and aren't going to read a romance that isn't leading up to that. i'm a horrible pervert and building up to a sex scene is an easy way to give your story a climax (...in multiple senses of the word) though so. why not.

10. craziest crossover: i don't write crossovers but if i did it would be the insane one ive been thinking about lately where the minnesota wild are stuck in the dungeon from dungeon meshi

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? not to a degree that i can prove it but part of the reason i left TUA fandom was somebody, in my opinion, ripped off large chunks of one of my fics and did just enough massaging of the language to make it defensible as Not Plagiarism. ruined the whole experience for me though.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? no, i think that would be one of the highest honors i could receive as a writer though. i wish i knew enough of a second language to translate my own work, but i'm still at like a kindergarten level in japanese so that will. Not happen.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? tried to once with someone i am no longer friends with, it was a disaster. never gonna do that again. i am just too much of a control freak to relinquish any amount of creative decisionmaking i think.

14. all time favorite ship? don't have one! i tend to like hyperfixate on one ship for anywhere from one month to a year and a half and then when the brain juice runs out im Done and i never want to think about this concept again. im giving check please jackparse a point for being a ship i can read about post-fixation without getting bored but other than that. right now it's 725, in the future, who can say.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but never will? [stares at my overflowing gdocs draft folder. stares at the camera] i do not see it

16. what are your writing strengths? i like my prose, most of the time, and i think i'm pretty good at descriptive writing and like, internal character voice. sometimes i can accidentally stumble into excellent pacing

17. what are your writing weaknesses? INTENTIONALLY good pacing. writing dialogue that sounds like a human said it and not a sitcom character. i'm decent at line-by-line editing but awful at structural editing. recently ive become aware that i tend to subconsciously reuse certain plot beats a lot.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? like anything else, there's a way to do this that's fine and interesting and a way to do it that's insultingly terrible and it all depends on intent and execution. like if you're peppering in phrases in a second language just to show off that a character Is Foreign, don't do that. try to do it in a way that's realistic for how people talk. do it purposefully, i suppose

19. first fandom you wrote in? god dude i do NOT remember this was literally 21 years ago but probably either naruto or fullmetal alchemist.

20. favorite fic you've written? probably one of the unpublishable ones tbh. or the time loop one again. honestly i really like all my hrpf work, ive been putting out some bangers lately. it's nice to feel like ive been growing as an ~artist~ or whatever.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 5

Warnings: None. However, future chapters will contain sexual content so readers that are under the age of 18 may have to skip those chapters (However they are very few so those under the age of 18 can still read a majority of this book. However please keep note of the warnings).

Copyright: I do not own any Wizarding World characters that J.K. Rowling wrote. I do however own Elizabeth Kane (main character) and Trang Nyguen (best friend). There should be no use of these two names without my permission. I also do not condone any copying of this.

💙💙💙💙

𝕴 𝖜𝖔𝖐𝖊 𝖚𝖕 around dusk, Ginny shaking me. "Come on!" She said.

I got up and brushed out my hair and came back to where the others were standing and stretching outside. There were thousands of waiting wizards and all pretenses of being Muggles were gone.

It seemed as though the Ministry had given up trying to hide the magical components. Salesmen were apparating every couple of feet with trays, bags, and carts of magical items and merchandise. There were items with the green colors of Ireland and the red colors of Bulgaria. There were scarves and dancing shamrocks and washable tattoos and face paint and rosettes and collectible figures that would walk across your palm.

Trang was in love. I'd given her about 200 Galleons which was leftover from the shopping trip where I'd bought her broom. Pretty soon, she had all Ireland things. All seven Quidditch player figurines, a rosette, a scarf, and multiple other things.

I got both seeker's figurines from both teams. I had an Ireland scarf and Trang helped put an Irish flag tattoo on my left cheek.

I bought her and I Omnioculars and two programs before we met up with the others, completely decked out. Trang quickly put her figures back in her bag in the tent, zipping it closed as though she thought they were going to escape. (Maybe they would). I set my figurines up on the bedside table.

Bill, Charlie, and Ginny were wearing Green Rosettes and Mr. Weasley had an Irish flag. Since Fred and George had no souvenirs because they'd given Bagman all their gold, I got each of them a Rosette too, helping Fred pin his rosette onto his shirt, while Bill and Charlie shot us glances.

There was a deep, booming gong from somewhere beyond the woods and green and red lanterns blazed to life in the trees, lighting a path to the field. Trang was so excited, she was bouncing up and down on her toes and couldn't stand still.

"It's time!" Mr. Weasley said and he looked nearly as excited as the rest of us, though he kept it in better check than we did. "Come on, let's go!"

We walked briskly along the path, clutching our souvenirs tightly. My Omnioculars were around my neck and my program and wand were in my pocket. My scarf was also around my neck, both ends hanging loosely down my chest.

I couldn't stop grinning, and neither could anyone else. That's what an exciting atmosphere does to you. We walked for twenty minutes. There were snatches of singing and shouting in vast languages.

Finally, we came to a gigantic stadium made of gold walls. Or perhaps it was just bronze painted and shining to look like gold. Trang's mouth dropped and she said, "I wish I had a camera."

"Don't worry." I said, grinning and clapping her on the shoulder, "I don't think you are ever going to forget tonight."

"Seats a hundred thousand." Mr. Weasley called back to us. "Ministry task force of five hundred have been working on it all year. Muggle repelling Charms on every inch of it. Every time Muggles have got anywhere near here all year, they've suddenly remembered urgent appointments and had to dash away again. . . bless them."

"I'll be able to get in, won't I?" Trang asked in alarm.

"Oh yeah." I said, though I wasn't sure if it was true or not. "You know about the magical world and have already been exposed to it." But I held my breath until we entered the stadium and Trang came through with no problems.

"I will admit," She started, "I've never seen a football stadium- American football- that is this big."

"Told you we have the best sport." I said smugly.

We were in the top box which meant we were to go as high as possible. The stairs were carpeted in royal purple and Trang practically squealed with delight. We kept climbing and climbing. I wondered mildly how many floors the stadium had- 10? 50? 100?

Either way, we finally found ourselves on the very top floor and when I looked down, I quickly backed up from the edge. We were higher than the Quidditch hoops which were fifty feet in the air. Perhaps were were seventy-five feet in the air then.

The giant blackboard was level with us and gold writing kept dashing across it and wiping off again. Trang watched in fascination at all the ads that popped up. Bluebottle brooms, Mrs. Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mess, Gladrags Wizardwear, and more.

Trang leaned over to me and said, "When I grow up, I'm going to become a full fledge witch, clothes and all."

I smiled but didn't say anything. She'd never be able to be a witch. She could brew potions, sure, but she could never drink them. She'd also never cast a spell with a wand. Or could she? If she used enough willpower, could she do a simple spell? I pondered over this for a moment. If that was the case though, we wouldn't have squibs, but still. . .

I shook my head to clear my unhappy thoughts. She could be a Professor teaching Muggle studies. She could even work in the ministry as a Muggle representative. But that was about it. And she didn't want to be a Muggle, she wanted to be a witch.

"Dobby?" I heard Harry say incredulously. Hermione, Ron, and I all turned to look and see who Harry was talking too.

It was a tiny creature that I recognized as a House-Elf. I had met Dobby before and knew that this house-elf wasn't Dobby. It had enormous brown eyes instead of green ones and had a nose like a tomato.

"Did sir just call me Dobby?" The house-elf squeaked, her face hidden behind her hands. I realized she was scared of heights. Mr. Weasley looked around in interest.

"Sorry." Harry said quickly. "I just thought you were someone I knew."

"But I knows Dobby too, sir! My name is Winky , sir- and you, sir- You is surely Harry Potter!" She said, her large tennis ball like eyes even larger. Except, unlike Dobby, her eyes were brown.

"Yeah, I am." Harry said, turning a bit pink. Trang was looking now too, coming face to face with her first magical creature that could talk (unless you counted gnomes vulgar language).

"But Dobby talks of you all the time, sir!" She said and lowered her hands, looking a bit awestruck to meet him.

"How is he? How's freedom suiting him?"

"Ah, sir, ah sir, meaning no disrespect, sir, but I is not sure you did Dobby a favor, sir, when you is setting him free." She said sadly, shaking her large head.

"Free?" Trang whispered at me.

I raised my hand to shush her.

"Why?" Harry asked, a bit alarm, "What's wrong with him?"

"Freedom is going to Dobby's head, sir. Ideas above his station, sir. Can't get another position, sir."

"Why not?"

She lowered her voice so low, Trang, Hermione, and I all leaned forward to hear her say, "He is wanting paying for his work, sir."

"Paying?" Harry asked with a blank look. "Well- why shouldn't he be paid?"

Winky looked horrified and closed her fingers so that her face was hidden. "House-elves is not paid sir! No, no, no. I says to Dobby, I says, go find yourself a nice family and settle down, Dobby. He is getting up to all sorts of high jinks, sir, what is unbecoming to a house-elf. You goes racketing around like this, Dobby, I says, and next thing I hear you's up in front of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, like some common goblin." She squeaked.

"Well it's about time he had a bit of fun." Harry said with a smile. I looked on with a serious expression. There was an empty chair next to Winky and I observed it carefully, titling my head just slightly. It looked as though someone was sitting there, yes a bit of a black shoe moving back under the cloak! I looked up, an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.

"House-elves is not supposed to have fun, Harry Potter. House-elves does what they is told. I is not liking heights at all, Harry Potter, but my master sends me to the Top Box and I comes, sir." Winky said, gulping as she looked down.

"Why's he sent you up here, if he knows you don't like heights?" Harry asked, frowning.

"Master- master wants me to save him a seat, Harry Potter. He is very busy. Winky is wishing she is back in master's tent, Harry Potter, but Winky does what she is told. Winky is a good house-elf."

"But Mr. Crouch won't be coming up at all." I said, in confusion, frowning, trying to pick out the lie.

Winky gave me a frightened look and I gave the empty seat another look, so sure that someone was in the seat.

I turned away.

Trang nudged me and asked about what Winky was talking about.

"House-elves are servants of wizarding families." I said. "It's in their generation and blood to serve until the last member dies or until a member sets them free. The way they are set free is by giving them clothes. Most house-elves actually love their work and they love their families and their families almost nearly love them as well. Kind've like a pet, you see. Of course, sometimes there are horrible families and house-elves that want to escape like Dobby."

Trang frowned, looking uncomfortable. "So even though they're slaves. . . they like it?"

"Yes." I said. "It does sound weird, I know, and as a Muggle, the concept is hard." I paused and tried to figure out the framing of my next words, "Most house-elves actually think it a punishment if they're set free."

"Really?" Trang seemed amazed at this concept.

I nodded, "There's been cases where the family frees an elf, whether they don't want the elf anymore or because the elf failed them in some way etc. where house-elves will actually die of shock."

Trang looked even more amazed.

Hermione meanwhile, was reading from her pamphlet saying, "A display from the team mascots will precede the match."

"Oh that's always worth watching." Mr. Weasley said. "National teams bring creatures from their native land, you know, to put on a bit of a show."

We had been the first in our box and over the next half hour or so, the box started to slowly fill up.

There were many important wizards filling the thirty or so seats up here. Mr. Weasley was shaking hands left and right and Percy kept sitting down and jumping up he looked like an old cartoon animation.

The Minister of Magic came up and Percy actually bowed, which made his glasses fall off and shatter. He fixed them himself and sat down, embarrassed and threw jealous looks at Harry who Fudge greeted like a grandson. He asked him how his summer had been and introduced him to the many wizards around him.

"Harry Potter, you know. Harry Potter. . . oh come on now, you know who he is. . . the boy who survived you-know-who. . . you do know who he is-" Fudge seemed to be trying to explain English to the Bulgarian minister. He was wearing splendid robes of black velvet with gold trimming.

The Bulgarian wizard suddenly started pointing at Harry's forehead and gibbering loudly in another language.

"Knew we'd get there in the end." Fudge said wearily to Harry. "I'm no great shakes at languages; I need Barty Crouch for this sort of thing. Ah, I see his house-elf's saving him a seat. . . Good job too, these Bulgarian bludgers have been trying to cadge all the best places. . . ah, Miss Kane, good to see you too." The minister said, coming over and shaking my hand as well. "And how was your summer."

"It was good, how was yours? Busy I expect?" I asked politely. Minister Fudge wasn't my favorite person but being recognized by the Minister of Magic was a big deal nevertheless. But I still held a grudge against him for trying to separate my father and I last year.

"Extremely busy. I suppose you already know what's happening at Hogwarts this year?" He asked with a weary sigh.

I smiled. "Foresaw it about a week and a half ago. I also know who's going to win tonight but I won't spoil that."

"Surely you made a bet then?" Fudge asked, smiling.

I shook my head. "I don't gamble."

"Well you should." Fudge said, almost incredulously, and then said, "This is the Bulgarian Minister. Minister, this is Elizabeth Kane, she's a seer."

I blushed and shook hands with the Bulgarian minister and said in rough Bulgarian, "Znam, che znaesh angliĭski." (Знам, че знаеш английски) [I know you speak English]

The Bulgarian Minister gave me a look of surprise and I winked at him. He smiled and I put a finger to my lips.

Fudge wasn't paying attention to our interaction as he had his back to us and then said, "Ah, and here's Lucius."

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I spun around to see Lucius Malfoy, his son Draco, and a woman who must've been his mother coming up the stairs.

Draco was Harry's enemy and my arch-nemesis (yes, there is a difference. An enemy is someone you hate. An arch-nemesis is someone you fight all the time and tried to destroy). I grabbed Trang's arm, drawing her partially behind me. Draco, a pale boy with no color complexion and white-blond hair was walking up behind his father. Some of the girls at Hogwarts thought he was hot. I could see there point. He was thin and tall and and not exactly ugly.

His father's blond hair was about shoulder length, perhaps a few inches longer. It was parted neatly and his robes were black and neat. His mother, I thought, was a very pretty woman with half black, half blond hair- obviously dyed- with a nice face and thin eyebrows, but she looked as though she was smelling something bad. Maybe it was her husband's cologne.

"Ah, Fudge." Mr. Malfoy said, holding out his hand. "How are you? I don't think you've met my wife, Narcissa? Or our son, Draco?"

"How do you do, how do you do?" Fudge said, smiling and bowing slightly to Mrs. Malfoy. "and allow me to introduce you to Mr. Oblansk- Obalonsk- Mr.- well he's the Bulgarian Minister of Magic, and he can't understand a word I'm saying anyway, so never mind. And let's see who else- you know Arthur Weasley, I daresay?"

The two men stared at each other for a moment and my grip on Trang's hand tightened. I suppose I expected them to break out in a brawl at that moment.

"Good lord, Arthur." He whispered softly, glancing down at all of us. "What did you have to sell to get seats in the Top Box? Surely your house wouldn't have fetched this much."

I let go of Trang's hand, my hands balling up into fists.

"Lucius has just given a very generous contribution to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Arthur. He's here as my guest." Fudge said, not listening.

Mr. Weasley said, "How- how nice," while Trang whispered in my ear, "This is the man who's supposed to be in jail, right? Azkaban? The one who got away with the money?" I nodded a rough nod but didn't turn to look at her.

Mr. Malfoy's eyes landed on Hermione who went pink. His lips curled but she stared determinedly at him. His eyes moved over to me and they narrowed. I clenched my jaw and smirked back. I was sure he was remembering the time when I tripped him in the bookstore after his fight with Mr. Weasley.

Then his eyes flicked to Trang who was half-hidden behind me and she came out, looking at him with disgust. His expression was even more horrible for her, perhaps because she was disgusted with him. Despite the fact that I had broken one of the biggest wizarding laws letting Trang know about the magical world, Trang was a near avid rule follower. The fact that Lucius Malfoy was out of Azkaban even though he was a follower of the killer of her best friend's parents disgusted her. And since Malfoy was disgusted that she was a muggle like Hermione (or assumed she was), she was disgusted with him, a pureblood, and that annoyed him.

"Ah yes! Lucius, this is Elizabeth Kane. She's a seer." Fudge said, trying to introduce Lucius to me.

I smirked, holding out my hand, cocking an eyebrow at the man, ". . . Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Malfoy." 

Lucius slipped his large, rough hand and shook it firmly. "Yes. . . a pleasure Miss Kane." I caught a whiff of his cologne and was taken aback. He smelled. . . delicious.

Malfoy raised his cane higher up into his hands and walked past us. Draco shot Ron, Hermione, and Harry a contemptuous look and shot me a glare. I smiled, raising my eyebrows.

"Ooooh." Trang said, fists clenched, fire in her eyes. "I hate him."

"All right tiger, sit down before you get in a fight." I said. I sat back down between Hermione and Trang.

Ludo Bagman charged up the stairs and skidded to a stop and said, "Everyone ready? Minister- ready to go?"

"Ready when you are, Ludo." The Minister said, seated between the Bulgarian Minister and the Irish Minister.

Ludo pointed his wand to his throat and said "Sonorus!"

His voice echoed all over the stadium as he said, "Ladies and gentlemen... welcome! Welcome to the final of the four hundred and twenty-second Quidditch World Cup!"

There were cheers from the crowd and waving of their flags which played the national anthem of the country while being waved. The two anthems clashed but it was all part of the excitement. Trang had already forgotten her anger and was sitting on the edge of her seat in excitement. She was squinting down at the field. I reached over and tapped her Omnioculars. The blackboard now read BULGARIA: 0, IRELAND: 0.

"And now, without further ado, allow me to introduce. . . the Bulgarian National Team Mascots!" Ludo announced enthusiastically.

The right-hand side of the stadiums, completely red, roared.

"I wonder what they've brought." I heard Mr. Weasley ask and then suddenly he whipped his glasses off and polished them in a hurried way and said, "Aahh! Veela!"

"What are Veela?" Trang whispered.

I giggled and said, "Enchanters of men, look!" I pointed at Mr. Weasley who was polishing his glasses and putting them on. Trang giggled too and then leaned forward to get a good look at the Veela.

I could see the beautiful aspects of them through the Omnioculars. They had smooth skin, I couldn't see a single blemish and they were very pale. Their hair was white-gold and flowed out behind them. I supposed it was probably as long as their knees maybe.

"Are they human?" Trang asked me, puzzled, her Omnioculars pressed so tightly her glasses were cutting into the bridge of her nose.

"No." I answered simply as the music started. I stared through my own Omnioculars and watched the Veela dance. The men in the stadium were starting to do really stupid things. Women were holding them back from jumping off the stadium walls. I dropped my glasses to look left and right. Charlie and Percy were both leaning over the edge, but weren't jumping yet. Mr. Weasley had an odd look on his face but he was still seated. Fred and George had fingers in their ears and Bill looked interested, but not affected.

Ron meanwhile, looked as though he might jump off his chair like a springboard at a pool. Harry on the other hand was standing up with one of his legs was on the wall. I jumped to my feet as Hermione whispered, "Harry what are you doing?"

"He thinks jumping from this box is going to impress the Veela." I said in an amused voice, pulling Harry back into his seat and slapping him across the face. He jerked as though waking from a dream.

"What was that for?" He asked. I noticed Harry's wand was poking out from his pocket. He really ought to shove it in deeper so it didn't fall out. Boys were so careless.

"You were going to do something extremely stupid." I said, going and sitting back down.

I glanced over at the other side. Bill was grinning at me and then got up and everyone scooted down so he could sit between Hermione and me. Fred shot us a glance. Charlie was still recovering from the Veela.

"Way to take control." Bill's voice was amused.

"He's like a brother to me." I said as Mr. Weasley took Ron's hat from him. "Wasn't going to let him make a fool of himself jumping off the stadium- not to mention saving him from impending death."

Bill didn't say anything else as a green and gold comet shot down towards the stadium and did one circuit around the stadium before splitting into two comets and shooting in opposite directions toward Ireland's goal post. A rainbow connected both the comets and then they exploded and rose up to make a shamrock.

Gold things started to fall from the sky. Trang pried her eyes away from the sky to turn to me and say, "Elizabeth, they're Leprechauns."

I giggled, "I can't wait until you meet a unicorn."

Trang turned back to looking at the sky. I grabbed a piece of gold out of the air. Leprechaun gold disappeared, but it was still cool.

"Charlie doesn't seem to be happy." Bill muttered suddenly.

I looked down at Charlie who quickly looked away. I frowned, "I don't know why." '

I looked at Bill and quickly away. I fancied Fred of course, but Bill was very good-looking too. I wondered if good-looking just ran in the family. I had fancied Percy for a long time as well. Not Ron though. And even though everyone got mixed up between George and Fred, there really were some differences between the two of them, making Fred more desirable than George. But really, they were both quite good looking. Yes, Ron was the only one I didn't like- romantically. I got along with Ron in a friendship. . . when he got along with Hermione.

And Bill was much different from the others. Bill had shoulder length hair like Malfoy or Snape, but it was red and lovely. His face was thin and and handsome. His earring was cool as well, and none of the other brothers had an ear piercing.

I wondered what Dad would think of Bill. I quickly pushed the thought away. Bill didn't like me and even if he did, I wouldn't hurt Fred like that.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, kindly welcome- the Bulgarian National Quidditch Team! I give you- Dimitrov! Ivanova! Zograf! Levski! Vulchanov! Volkov! Aaaaaand- Krum!" Bagman was saying.

"That's him, that's him!" Ron was saying. I looked through the Omnioculars to see the thin, dark, sallow-skinned boy. Because at seventeen he had only just become a man and the difference was amazing. He had thick eyebrows and a hooked nose and he looked a bit like a hawk or an eagle maybe. I supposed if someone asked me if he was good-looking I could say yes, but he wasn't my type and he wasn't the cutest boy I had ever met.

Yeesh, what was with me and eyeing every boy as a potential mate?

"And now," Ludo continued over the roaring approval of the Bulgarians and those supporting Bulgaria, "please greet- the Irish National Quidditch Team! Presenting- Connolly! Ryan! Troy! Mullet! Moran! Quigley! Aaaaand- Lynch!"

I cheered at Lynch's name. He was my favorite player on the Irish team and I had a poster of him in my bedroom. Blond, tall, thin, extremely hot. Deep forest green eyes. Bloody hell.

"And here, all the way from Egypt, our referee, acclaimed Chairwizard of the International Association of Quidditch, Hassan Mostafa!"

Hassan Mostafa was a short skinny wizard with a bald head. However, to make up for having no hair on his head was a very large, very busy mustache. Trang giggled quietly in her seat.

"Theeeeeeey're OFF!" Bagman yelled so loudly I nearly jumped. "And it's Mullet! Troy! Moran! Dimitrov! Back to Mullet! Troy! Levski! Moran!"

The Chasers threw the Quaffle so fast that Bagman had only time to say their names before it was in the hands of another player. I wondered suddenly how Lee Jordan would've had time to make any jokes if he'd been commentating. Knowing Jordan, he would've managed.

"TROY SCORES!" Bagman declared as Troy threw the Quaffle into the hoop, the Bulgarian Keeper missed. "Ten zero to Ireland."

"What?" Harry yelled stupidly. "But Levski's got the Quaffle."

I laughed and Hermione scolded him for watching the game in slow motion.

The Irish Seekers worked as a seamless team. I wondered if any of this stuff could be implemented for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team this year. Cedric would be watching and he was our captain so. . . there wouldn't be Quidditch this year because of the tournament. . . so never mind.

The two beaters on the Bulgarian side- Volkov and Vulchanov- were whacking bludgers left and right at the Irish Chasers as they had scored twice more. Finally, Ivanova scored the first Bulgarian goal.

Harry screwed his eyes up and stuck his fingers in his ears as the Veela began to dance again. I watched him amused.

"They don't affect you?" I asked Bill.

"Oh?" Bill said, "They could if I let them, but I'm used to women trying to charm me."

I would've laughed, but instead, I rolled my eyes, tugged on a lock of his hair, and turned my head away, shaking it in amazement.

I watched the Irish Chasers again and then the whole crowd gasped as both Krum and Lynch were zooming down towards the ground. I looked through my Omnioculars, but I didn't see any snitch.

"They're going to crash!" Hermione screamed.

Krum pulled up out of the dive at the last second, making my jaw drop. I hadn't thought it possible. Lynch, to my disappointment, crashed instead. There was a huge groan from the Irish side.

"Fool! Krum was feinting!" Mr. Weasley groaned.

I sighed with disappointment. Ginny meanwhile, was hanging over the side of the box, looking horror struck. "He'll be okay, he only got ploughed, which was what Krum was after, of course." Charlie said, reassuring her. He looked up and met my eyes. I gave him a thumbs up and looked away.

How horrible! I couldn't stand it if Charlie liked me too! It'd be hard enough if it was between Bill and Fred. I didn't need Charlie involved either. Or maybe I was just being. . . was that word? Self-absorbed? Full of myself? The word was on the tip of my tongue and I couldn't grasp it! Basically thinking that every guy was into me just because they looked at me. . .vain? No, that wasn't it either. Stupid English words!

"That move was called the Wronkski Defensive Feint." I told Trang who looked horrified. She had red eyes from keeping them open to much. "Maybe you should close your eyes for a moment." I suggested.

She took of her glasses and rubbed her eyes and kept them closed until Bagman started back up the commentary. Lynch's recovery seemed to give Ireland more heart. When they began to play again, the Irish Chasers played with such skill I didn't believe it could be rivaled.

Mullet shot toward the goal posts yet again and the Bulgarian keeper rushed out to meet her. I watched in slow motion for this part as he used his elbows against her chest and head and she dropped the Quaffle. Most other people didn't see the entire thing but the Irish shouted out, enraged.

"And Mostafa takes the Bulgarian Keeper to task for cobbing- excessive use of elbows! And- yes it's a penalty to Ireland!"

The leprechauns rose in the air spelling out the words HA HA HA! The Veela became angry and started to dance in a ferocious manner. The Weasley boys and Harry had all stuck their fingers in their ears, even Bill.

I pulled his fingers out his ears, giggling, and said, "Look at the referee!"

Hassan Mostafa had landed in front of the dancing Veela and was flexing his muscles and his mustache in an excited manner. Trang and I collapsed into giggles and I banged my head on Bill's shoulder and winced. Bill laughed too, though I was more certain he was laughing at me as I grabbed my head.

"Now, we can't have that!" Ludo Bagman said though he sounded on the verge of laughing himself. "Somebody slap the referee!"

A mediwizard came running across the field, fingers in his own ears and kicked Mostafa hard in the shins. Mostafa seemed to become extremely embarrassed and pointed off the field for the Veela. They stopped dancing, looking mutinous.

"And unless I'm much mistaken, Mostafa is actually attempting to send off the Bulgarian team mascots! Now there's something we haven't seen before. . . Oh this could turn nasty."

The two Bulgarian beaters landed on either side of Mostafa and began arguing with him furiously. However, Mostafa was no longer in a good mood and kept jabbing his finger in the air. When neither beater got in the air he gave two short blasts with his whistle and the Bulgarians roared in anger.

"Two penalties for Ireland! And Volkov and Vulchanov had better get back on those brooms. . . yes. . . there they go. . . and Troy takes the Quaffle. . ." Bagman was saying.

Play now reached the ferocity point. Volkov and Vulchanov were at the point where they didn't care if they hit a bludger or person and were swing their bats fast and hard.

Dimitrov shot straight up at Moran who had the Quaffle and nearly knocked her off her broom though she managed to keep her hold on the broom.

"Foul!" The Irish supporters roared as one, I had roared so along with them.

"Foul!" Bagman agreed, "Dimitrov skins Moran- deliberately flying to collide there- and it's got to be another penalty- yes, there' the whistle!"

The leprechauns had risen in anger, forming a hand with the middle finger pointed upwards at the Veela. The Veela lost control of them. They launched themselves across the field, throwing fire at the leprechauns. Their faces had transformed into bird-like faces and scaly wings were bursting out of their backs.

Trang lowered her Omnioculars and stared at me in amazement and said, "I take everything I said back. I don't care how many sports Muggles have, this is the best sport there is."

I laughed. "Told you."

"And that boys." Mr. Weasley shouted so that even Harry on the far end could hear him. "Is why you should never go for looks alone!"

Trang, Hermione, Ginny, and I laughed as one. Then I muttered, "But all guys do that anyways."

Beside me, Bill laughed.

"Levski- Dimitrov- Moran- Troy- Mullet- Ivanova- Moran again- Moran- MORAN SCORES!" Bagman announced.

The Irish cheers were drowned out by the shrieks of the Veela and the Ministry wizards trying to get them under control. There were also furious roars from the Bulgarian supporters. I was bouncing up and down in my seat, the end was coming, I knew.

Quigley, the Irish Beater, swung his bat at a bludger which went zooming toward Krum. "Duck!" I shrieked, but Krum did not get out of the way in time. I gripped Bill's arm hard as the bludger hit him full in the face. I was sure that his nose was broken. I quickly let go of Bill's arm so that I could hold the Omnioculars in both hands. Despite the four-second hold on his arm, he still had nail marks imprinted there and I blushed and muttered a sorry.

However, Mostafa didn't blow the whistle for Krum to get medical attention because his broom had been lit on fire by the Veela.

I moved the glasses back up to Krum. Blood was spraying out of his nose in every direction. Bloody hell.

"Look at Lynch!" I heard Harry shout from my right.

Lynch had gone into a dive. This was the real thing. I jumped from my seat. "He's seen the snitch!" I shouted excitedly.

I could see the snitch too, a gold blur down near the bottom of the field. Krum had dove now too. I wasn't sure how he could see as blood was flying up past his face but he had managed it somehow.

"They're going to crash!" Hermione shrieked.

"No they're not!" Ron yelled.

"Lynch is!" Harry and I said together.

I watched as Lynch crashed into the ground for the second time and winced. Charlie was out of his seat too and was saying, "The Snitch, where's the snitch!" He bellowed.

"He's got it!" I screamed with delight, jumping up and down, "Krum's got the snitch."

The scoreboard now read BULGARIA: 160, IRELAND: 170

"You guys won!" I said, turning to Fred and George, "You guys won your bet!"

Fred and George looked at each other and roared with delight, bumping fists and Fred pulled me into a tight hug.

There had been a silence in the crowd for a split second and then the Irish roared with happiness.

"IRELAND WINS!" Ludo Bagman cried a few seconds later, just as surprised as the Irish it seemed by this turn of events. "KRUM GETS THE SNITCH- BUT IRELAND WINS- good lord, I don't think any of us were expecting that!"

"What did he catch the snitch for?" Ron bellowed though he was jumping up and down like everyone else that Ireland had won. "He ended it when Ireland were a hundred and sixty points ahead, the idiot!"

"He knew they were never going to catch up!" Harry shouted back. "The Irish Chasers were too good. . . He wanted to end it on his terms, that's all. . ."

"He was very brave, wasn't he?" Hermione asked, leaning forward. Trang and her were watching the Ministry wizards blast a path through the battling leprechauns and Veela so that the mediwizards could get to Krum. Charlie and I were hugging now, completely ecstatic with Ireland's win.

"This is amazing!" Trang said, looking more at the battling creatures than the Quidditch players. The Veela were reverting back to their beautiful selves but looked dispirited and sad.

Bill picked me up now, swinging me around in a semi circle before kissing my cheek and setting me down. I stumbled for a second, putting a hand to my cheek, feeling quite red.

"Vell, ve fought bravely." A gloomy voice said behind us and we turned to see who was talking. It was the Bulgarian Minister.

"You can speak English!" Fudge said angrily. "And you've been letting me mime everything all day!"

"Vell, it vos very funny." The Bulgarian minister, said shrugging and looked over at me and smiled, "You speak very good Bulgarian."

I blushed with pride as the Bulgarian minister stepped back with his fellow Bulgarians.(It was actually the only sentence I knew in Bulgarian. I'd practiced it when I saw that the Bulgarian Minister would be coming up to the box). I supposed both teams would be coming up into the Top Box.

"And as the Irish team performs a lap of honor, flanked by their mascots, the Quidditch World cup itself is brought into the Top Box!" Bagman was saying.

My eyes were suddenly blinded by a dazzling white light. The Top Box was being magically illuminated so that everyone could see and we all quickly sat down so that we didn't get in the way.

"Let's have a round of applause for the gallant losers- Bulgaria!" Ludo said. The Bulgarian team came up the stairs and into the box. The crowd below was applauding appreciatively.

Krum came up last, looking like a real mess. He had two black eyes forming and his entire face was bloody. He was still holding the Snitch. He was slightly duck-footed on the ground and his shoulders were rounded. His eyes roved over us and then at Bagman. When his name was announced, the entire stadium- Irish and Bulgarian- roared with approval.

Then the Irish team came up the stairs. Lynch was being supported by Moran and Connolly. His eyes were a bit unfocused. I wished I could've asked for an autograph, but the Irish team left to do another lap around the stadium. Lynch rode on the back of Connolly's broom and I laughed. I too, wished I had a camera.

"Quietus." Bagman said, pointing his wand at his throat and climbing down from the pedestal. "They'll be talking about this one for years, a really unexpected twist, that. . . shame it couldn't have lasted longer. . . Ah yes, yes, I owe you. . . how much?" He asked as Fred and Weasley climbed over their seats to collect their money.

I walked over to where Harry was standing. I noticed his wand wasn't sticking out of his pocket anymore. I frowned. Well, perhaps he'd shoved it deeper into his pocket? I looked at where Winky was sitting, her eyes still covered and then the empty chair and pondered the invisible person. Perhaps they were sick? I bit my lip. Mr. Crouch had no wife, she'd died and I didn't think he had children. I supposed I could ask Mr. Weasley later.

I gripped the wand in my pocket as though someone might try to take it. I supposed that was a sign for something. . .

"Elizabeth, are you coming?" Trang called from down the aisle.

I jerked my head away from the empty, but not empty chair, and said, "Oh, yeah, coming." and I hurried after them, leaving the mystery behind.

��️➡️

[finnpoerebelscum]

FALLOUT - Chapter 14

Chapters Posted: 14 of 18

Rating: T+

Warnings: Canon-typical violence & fighting/blood/gore/graphic descriptions of injury/angst/hurt/comfort/Multiple POVs

Characters/Pairings: Poe Dameron/Finn, Karé Kun, Iolo Arana, BB-8, OCs.

Summary: Still reeling in the aftermath of Crait, Poe Dameron and Finn are sent to a secret Resistance base tucked away on Lothal to serve as acting generals. Their numbers dwindled to barely a handful, and with General Organa’s order grounding all surviving Resistance personnel to heal and regroup, morale is at an all time low. Poe grapples with his inability to sit still; the First Order looms, an ever-encroaching threat to what remains of the Outer Rim’s free space; intimate feelings grow impossible to ignore and a shocking return promises devastating consequences not only for those stationed on Lothal, but for the Resistance and galaxy at large. 

A/N: An AU adventure, a side-quest of sorts, to account for some of the time between TLJ and ROS. Stormpilot centric. Canon up until the end of TLJ (but does not take into account Resistance Reborn or the Finn/Rose arc).

Thank you to anyone who has read, liked, and/or reblogged! I am so grateful for you and your time.

Masterlist

CHAPTER 14

“Have we met?”

Ira Nyx sat, hands folded before him on the table, his face impenetrable.“No. But I have heard your name and seen you many times. Now I know who you are.” 

Still hovering by his side, Finn’s eyes searched Poe’s. He hadn’t stopped staring since Poe had woken. 

“How do you feel?” Finn interrupted his exchange with Ira. A welcome break—it was too much for his sluggish mind to follow. A hollowness permeated his entire body, his head too light for his shoulders.

“Not really sure yet.” 

“Oh. Yeah, okay.” Finn sat back on his heels. “Take your time.”

Poe took in the bruises forming around Finn’s cheekbones, the cuts on his lip and chin. “Are you okay?”

“You’re asking me if—“ Finn’s face crumpled and he dragged his hands down over it. When he looked up, his eyes were wet, voice a fierce whisper. He grabbed Poe’s hand. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”

Poe’s heart skipped into his throat. “What?”

“Die. Almost die—whatever. Just… don’t do it again, okay?”

The edges of Poe’s smile trembled, his throat tight. “Okay.” 

Finn blew out a breath then turned back to Ira. “Enough with the cryptic back and forth. Out with it.”

“He survived Order 66.” Karé’s voice startled them. Poe had forgotten she, Iolo and BB-8 were standing by the door. 

Ira Nyx wasn’t the most subtle being—he had an innate reverence to him, a larger than life presence, only in small part due to his towering stature. That he had once been a Jedi… All the pieces clicked neatly into place. But as far as Poe knew, no one had survived Order 66. That was kind of the whole deal. Any Jedi from that era… They were all long dead. “How is that possible?”

“I hid.”

A frown creased Finn’s brow. “For how long?”

“Since the day I watched them all die.”

“That’s what, almost 40 years?” Poe said. “Did you know what was happening during that time?”

“Yes.”

“Yes? That’s it?”

It was quiet for a long time. Ira Nyx looked ancient when he spoke next, his giant shoulders sagged. “Indeed.” He stared at his hands. “I made a choice. Anyone around me would have been at risk.”

“But what about all the people you could have helped?” Poe carefully pulled himself to a seated position. “On Garel alone. Not to mention the rest of the Outer Rim.” 

“I knew what was happening and did nothing. That makes you angry.”

Poe willed the heated hammering of his heart to slow. “Look, I don’t know you, and I don’t really care that you did nothing. But you need to know how many suffered and died while you hid.”

“I know.”

Finn shifted. “Yeah?”

“I saw them. Not each one but many. Just as I saw you before I met you. Always in fragments. Scattered images. With you it was fire. Blood. Many beings dying. A great… wave razing everything in its path.”

“You saw the base explode,” Poe said.

Ira frowned, a far off look in his eyes. “Are there more?”

“Many more,” Finn answered for him. “Why?”

“I saw it four times. Each distinctly different than the last.”

The fire in the hearth snapped and popped into the quiet room. Realization settled heavily between them. Three other bases had probably been destroyed. There went that list, unraveling into oblivion. More names. More friends; gone. 

Karé broke the silence. “You can see the future?” 

“I cannot see the future.” Ira gave a good natured chuckle. “I see… echoes. Of what could be. What has not yet come to be. When I saw all of you, none of it made sense until we were face to face.”

“Did you see anything else?” Finn asked.

“Bits and pieces.” Ira pinched the bridge of his nose. “I cannot put it all together.”

Poe realized Finn still hadn’t let go of his hand as he heard him say, “Maybe we can help with that.”

* * *

With orders to stay in bed, Poe was left alone in the house while Ira led the others to where he concealed a landspeeder. Poe protested. He couldn’t help himself—he wanted to see what ancient model Ira had been hiding for the last forty years, and was eager to get his body moving, but with a fit of impressive squawking, BB-8 had won the argument in the end. 

The second the tattered cloth fell back over the door, Poe crept up off Ira’s makeshift mattress to stretch by the warmth of the hearth, watching the flames lap hungrily over fresh tree scraps.

A whisper of pain crawled up his side when he moved, and he’d never felt such deep muscle soreness in his life, but he was alive. He could stand, he could walk. As the minutes went on, his body awoke more, his brain with it too. The only traces of a near-fatal injury were the blood-crusted tatters of his shirt that hung open around his midsection. It was like looking down at someone else’s body, the gore dried dark brown in places, but no injury peeking through the ruined fabric. Only a shiny scar was left, skin knitted together in a jagged line, but miraculously healed and closed. Poe ran his fingers along his face and found similarly scarred over cuts and scrapes where shattered transparisteel had peppered his face. The same ghost-echoes of pain flitted across the healed skin at his touch.

He couldn’t remember anything after the bitter cold in the G-9’s cabin and Finn’s warm chest against his back… But he could feel echoes. A distant warmth, spreading through his core, replacing the cold. A stranger knitting him back together with their bare hands. Someone he had never met.

The full-body hollowness had evaporated and  been replaced with a tightness in his lungs. His confession to Finn. It was out in the open. Bits and pieces of the conversation floated back to him, but not much else. Had Finn reacted? Did he feel the same way? Like trying to catch a wisp of smoke between his fingers, the memory took half shape, but dissipated before he could grasp it. 

“It’s hard to believe—you standing here. Like nothing even happened.”

Poe turned to see Finn leaning against the doorway. He crossed the room. The tips of their boots touched. Poe wrapped his arms around Finn, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder. He squeezed tight, breathing him in; that familiar, comforting smell—sweat, leather, earth. Finn’s arms slid around Poe’s back and waist, pulling him in. Given the chance, Poe might never let go.

* * *

By the time Ira, Karé, Iolo and BB-8 filed back into the hut, the fog in Poe’s brain had mercifully dissipated. But only to make room for the onslaught of issues at hand. 

Kothal was under attack—yes, the galaxy was at war and that was an unfortunate byproduct—but the Resistance presence on Kothal had brought the fight to them. Kemi’s haunted eyes floated into his mind. It could have been lifetimes ago that they found her in the ruined market square, but the sharp memory of the betrayal in her eyes kept it fresh. They had to get back. They had to warn the other bases. Leia. 

Then there was the chip from the virus-ridden BB unit back on base. Whatever information they could glean from it. Poe paced the dirt floor of Ira’s tiny home. He was alive. In fact, he felt more alive than he had since arriving on Kothal and considering he had been essentially dead just a few hours prior… A reinvigorated fire burned in him.

BB-8 bleeped disapprovingly. 

“What? No, I—“ Poe looked down at the floor. He really had almost carved a figure eight into the dust. “Okay, fine. I’ll stop. Can you display the information on the chip and still protect yourself from the virus?”

BB8 hummed a resounding no, blinking expectantly at Poe. 

“Okay, gimme a second to think. Our G-9’s astromech was completely fried…”

Karé perked up suddenly. “Our nav computer still works. Everything else is shot, but we can at least try that.”

“That just might work.”

And so, in Ira’s landspeeder—Poe had been right, it was a creaky relic of a SoroSuub X-34—they returned to Karé and Iolo’s wrecked pod. It was in better shape than Poe and Finn’s G-9, but still completely unflyable. 

Ira stood outside the craft as the fighters crowded in, jostling wounds and pressed against each other in the tiny space made for two. BB-8 beeped in annoyance, shoving his way through their legs. He popped out his durasteel storage vault and Poe took the First Order branded chip from it, inserting it into an awaiting port.

The nav computer’s screen fizzed into static and went black. Just their kriffing luck. Then, white letters built themselves into words and sentences against the dark background. Some made sense, some just looked like a jumble of letters and numbers to Poe. 

But one thing stood out starkly to all of them, and Karé cursed at the name and title: Tallon Voxel, First Order Engineer. 

“I thought he was dead,” Iolo murmured into the stunned silence. “He went missing on that aid mission to Ryloth.”

Finn and Poe exchanged a glance. Everyone else on that mission had been killed.

“You’re as good as dead if they have you,” Poe said. “They’re not big on the whole catch and release thing. They must have had a use for him to keep him alive.” Although, there was no guarantee he was still alive at this point. The chip had served its purpose. Tallon Voxel might have already, too.

“Engineer.” They all turned to look at Iolo, who shifted uncomfortably. “He created the working model for our base network security protocols.”

“Single-handedly? He can’t possibly have all that information,” Karé said. 

Iolo nodded. “He designed the systems. They need him to override it.”

“So… it’s only a matter of time before the other bases…” Karé let the end of her sentence drop off. 

They were running out of time—against a ticking clock they could not see. It was foolish to hope that coordinates to every remaining Resistance base in the galaxy hadn’t been tortured out of Tallon. There was only so much you could withstand… if you were trained. Engineers weren’t. 

“Lothal was one of the planets listed as a diversionary location for General Organa,” Finn said. 

Iolo paled. “That means Cassidode IV, Primtara… and Mako Ta… could be gone too.”

“We have to warn the others.”

“And get back to Kothal,” Poe said. “Who knows how long the tunnels will hold.”

Finn rubbed his temples. “Our ship’s comms were destroyed in the crash.” 

Karé flicked the pod’s hyperwave communicator on. Predictably, nothing happened; the shredded antenna was the first thing Poe noticed as he had climbed into the wrecked craft. 

“I know where you can get a ship.” Ira Nyx startled them all. They turned to him standing in the gaping hole where the pod’s engine once sat. “Garel City. You can broadcast your message from there. The streets are crawling with First Order troopers, but their main area of concern is the spaceport.”

“And where exactly is this ship?” Finn asked, eyes narrowed. Poe already knew the answer. 

“The spaceport.”

“Of course it is.”

“A friend owes me a favor. Jem Cade. Hangar 71-C.”

“And you’ll be staying here?” Poe also knew the answer.

Ira Nyx’s mouth thinned to a grim line. “I will.”

[sibillascribbles08]

I found 9 I like and can't think of any reason to pick any of them over any of the others so I'll let you pick and choose from there

4,6,19,21,24,26,31,34,49

4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?

Shockingly none I don't think, at least not as how they're described in legends anyway. I think if you did want me to believe one was real however it'd have to be something that lived on the ocean.

6. why did you do that?

Thinking of what I did recently that could even require an explination. I stayed up till midnight cause I was still furiously writing fanfic. This piece has me in a chokehold rn (I am probably going to finish another chapter today)

19. imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

Yeah sure ! Can't promise I'll be super good at it because god knows I haven't done it since my teens, but I'll do it

21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

A lot of things. I have a bit of a problem in this regard. The first thing to come to mind are some of the children's books I would read over and over again.

24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

I hope we're doing this at night and looking at stars because we will absolutely bake in the sun otherwise. Probably just vibing though. Or talking about something weird like what's the worst chip flavor you could invent

26. a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

Excluding scenarios from the books I write, my mind likes to frequently drift to the idea of ex-friends suddenly messaging me out of the blue to reconnect and me telling them off. Probably not healthy. Trying to make it quit.

31. what type of music keeps you grounded?

Rite of Spring by Igor Stravinsky. Literally. Otherwise I grab ones that compel me to sing along to them because then I have to focus on the lyrics instead of letting my mind wander.

34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?

Oh there are many, I love memorizing songs, but my most proud achievement so far is Love My Lips from Veggietales because I could type out the speedy section of it on command.

The challenges I want to tackle on this subject are the Stuff Mart Rap also from Veggie Tales and Goin' Down by The Monkees because both of these songs get VERY fast and it is tricky

49. can you skip rocks?

Last I tried it I can ! Though I don't land every single one and it has been a while (part of the problem of learning that shifting a bunch of rocks around can have some negative effects on the critters so I try to avoid touching almost anything in natural environments) They should sell you skipping stones in packs so if I ever own a pool one day I can do it there and then jump in the water to retrieve them. Two games in one

[perpetuelledaydreaming]

Cruel intentions | chapter eleven

summary: peter parker loves an improvised visit but not so much when harry comes around, who reminds him of the red flag that is 'we are a family' discourse in a company.

warnings: swearing and harry being mean

authors note: I WANT TO GIVE A SPECIAL THANKS TO ANOTHER SUPPORTER ON KO-FI!!!

listen to: All the girls go to hell - Billie Eilish | Sofia - Clairo (playlist here)

word count: 3.4k

series masterlist + read next chapter early on my ko-fi!!!!

Dr. Claire Temple had been right about just one thing when she had examined you, she knew that you needed at least a week of rest before you were out in the field; and although after two days of bed rest under the excuse that your period pain was too harsh and that you weren’t feeling well, you tried to start more or less acting normal and you’d failed miserably. 

Indeed, your failed attempt to become mobile again ended with a sharp pain in your stomach and some tears dropping from your eyes as you quickly asked HAPPY to send some regenerative liquid to your room. You had swallowed some more of your pain meds as you winced while placing the spray on your stomach softly. 

And so, the rest few days you’d found yourself in bed and on your computer with Pepper and Tony coming around from time to time with food, although Tony seemed a little bit more suspicious that something had happened. Pepper had even become worried and said that it wasn’t normal for periods to hurt this much but you waved it off, saying that you’d decided to change your birth control pills and although you could see the look of disapproval on her face, she didn’t question you. Harry had been calling and texting you but you refused to see him after the first call when he had made fun of you for not being able to sleep with Peter since your excuse was that you got too drunk to even kiss him. 

The truth was that you would’ve liked to kiss Peter Parker that night but instead, you’d ended up having an impromptu and more exciting make-out with none other than Spiderman. A part of you felt guilty because you were aware that there was something about Peter Parker that made your heart skip a beat but then again, Spiderman had ignited something in you, desire and excitement that made you feel shivers down your spine. 

And so, you hadn’t really been answering Peter’s text. Instead, you’d decided that your feelings -the ones that you’d kept away hidden for so long- would simply die down if you stayed in bed and focus on recovering. Not that it worked, it seemed like overthinking about what had happened was all you did as you watch multiple chapters of Sex and the City. 

It wasn’t until a week or so later that Peter Parker showed up in your room unannounced. 

“Pepper, I’m really not in the mood right now,” you’d muttered when you heard the slight knocking on your door, thinking it was Pepper who said that she would be checking on you later that night. 

“It’s Peter,” his honey voice replied and your eyes widened, flinching making you almost let your computer fall out of your bed. 

“Oh,” you muttered as you tried to move on your bed and hide any pain meds that might raise suspicion while also trying to fix your hair with a groan, you really didn’t want him to see you looking like a mess but it was almost impossible now. 

“I know you’re sick but I wanted to see how you were doing?” Peter replied, still being respectful enough not to enter your room but you knew you’d to let him in. He’d been waiting for you and you’d iced him out with no warning, leaving him in the middle of a party without any care. 

You sighed before asking HAPPY to let him in and the door opened to see him leaning against the edge of the room. He wasn’t dressed in his normal nerdy t-shirts that you’d come to appreciate, instead, he was wearing some dark jeans and a grey knit sweater that hugged his muscles nicely. 

“Sick?” you asked him, as you hoped he didn’t realize that your eyes had trailed down his body, especially on his arms. 

“Yeah, that’s what Tony said,” he replied as he walked into your room, giving you a look as if he was asking for permission and you simply nodded, a small smile on his face as he walked toward you. 

“Right,” you nodded, an indifferent look on your face as if you hadn’t slipped a bit on your lies. 

“So, how are you doing?” Peter asked as he sat down on the side of your bed, he watched you carefully as if to check everything was fine and you hoped he didn’t manage to see the bruises on your body that were left after the fight. 

“I’m better,” you replied with a soft smile and his eyes met yours for a moment. 

Neither of you said anything, silence feeling the space, and although it didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable for you; you knew you’d to say something, you could feel the tension and maybe you shouldn’t be focusing on things like that, you really needed to get this over with quickly. 

“I’m sorry for leaving the party so fast,” you mumbled, not hesitating but then your words crashed against his. 

“I’m sorry for not texting you earlier, I-” he mumbled too and he flinched as he listened to your tumbling words. 

You blinked for a moment as you jumped slightly when you realized what he had said. 

“Don’t worry,” 

“I-”

Both of your words crashed against each other again before you decided to stop talking, you felt your cheeks were already blushing and as you sighed, your eyes met Peter’s. You stayed silent for a second as you looked at each other. 

Before you knew it, the corners of your lips were tugging up and a small giggle was escaping your lips and then Peter’s. You both started to laugh, cheeks getting pinker and pinker and laugh getting louder and louder to the point that your stomach even hurt a bit. It took a minute or two before your laughs finally died down and you decided to finally speak without any other intention hidden between the lines.

“I would’ve liked to stay, really. Just something came up,” you spoke softly, your eyes trained on Peter and he nodded. Though you couldn’t help to notice the small smirk on his mouth, which you only found strange because it seemed like it was something funny.  

“Something?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Not that’s any of your business Parker,”  

Peter smirked at your reply, you couldn’t help but feel your skin prickle at the way Peter’s lips looked but your thoughts dissipated quickly when Peter spoke again. 

“Maybe, we could hang out sometime. You truly broke my heart when you left me at that party alone,” Peter admitted as he raised his eyebrows while placing his hand on his chest dramatically. 

You let out a smile. In the few weeks, you’d come to know Peter Parker, you’d not notice that Peter Parker had a more loose and confident side to him that he hadn’t really shown a lot before. His deer-in-lights persona seemed to have overwhelmed you when you met him, but now he was showing some of his true colors were coming up. 

And you actually liked them. 

“You’re full of shit,” you muttered with a small smirk as you threw a pillow towards him, he caught it right away and you widen your eyes a bit by how smoothly he managed to get it but you disregarded your thoughts and continued. “That’s why you didn’t text me, right away?” you asked teasingly and Peter quickly stiffened. 

“No, no,” he stated, his gaze avoiding yours. “Just something came up too,” he explained. 

You hummed, watching him slightly as you leaned more into your bed. You wondered if the thing that had kept Peter from texting you was Liz Allen, maybe she hadn’t followed your orders -not that you’d asked her to stay away from him but from your friendship, which you know regretted because you should’ve known better. Maybe she had caught Peter after you left, invite him to some drinks and to her apartment. 

Suddenly, you couldn’t help to feel a pang of jealousy as you thought of Liz Allen’s lips on Peter Parker, kissing his neck as she managed to see what was underneath the nerdy shirts and the knit sweater but then the anger was quickly washed away with guilt blooming on your chest because as Peter texted you the morning after, you were kissing Spiderman on that same bed.  

“We could hang out another day,” you replied softly. 

Peter smiled a bit, nodding. “Yes?”

“Sure, maybe we can do something that you like since you seem like you know all my life through my dad,” you replied, noticing the way Peter’s eyes lighted up a bit and how you felt like melting a bit as he got a bit closer to you. 

He leaned in, whispering softly and making goosebumps appear on his skin. “Actually, don’t know if you know this but your kind of a mysterious person,” he whispered. 

You snorted. “Am I? Sometimes people or Twitter know things about me before I do,”

And then he laughed. He really laughed, he had a wonderful and innocent laugh that made your face blush so quickly, turning such a shade of red that you immediately felt like you wanted to hide it away. 

“Well, you’re very different from what other people say,” he replied, gracious enough not to say anything about your blush. “You just need to relax, truly relax,” he said again as you focused on the freckles beneath his eyes. 

“That’s like the third time you say that to me Parker and it’s not getting any better,” you replied as you raised your eyebrows. 

Peter smirked. “Maybe you don’t relax at parties,”

He wasn’t wrong. Your usually relaxed nature at parties was due to multiple rounds of shots and multiple rounds of Moscow mule and tequila. Those were the moments that you relaxed at a party when you were too drunk to actually feel like you could let go of whatever burden you were feeling at the moment for at least a minute. Sometimes the burden was anger against your dad, other times it was anger against your situation as an ex-Avenger, sometimes it was just the pressure you felt for being in the public eye, and sometimes it was just because you were failing on your tinkering in the lab. 

“You know the time I’ve seen you happier than ever?” Peter said again as your eyes met with his. “In the lab,” he replied and you simply stated a small ‘Oh’, quietly since you weren’t quite sure how to respond to him. “We should go there and maybe work on something,”

It seemed like he’d been paying attention to you too. 

“Really?” you sparked up quickly, your face lighting up a bit and Peter couldn’t help but smile as you nibbled on your bottom lip, waiting for him to confirm his offer. 

“Yeah,” he spoke sincerely. “And you can tell me what you’re truly working on,”

You gazed at Peter, taking in the features of his face and he let you. It wasn’t in an awkward way, or in any way odd. You didn’t know if he was being playful or if, just if, he’d manage to blow his cover because it seemed like maybe, just maybe Tony had sent him to find out what you’d been doing. 

You hadn't even noticed the sound of his voice asking HAPPY to open but then both, Peter and you froze when you heard the door opening. 

Before you could even register the danger, Harry had walked into your room he gazed at both of you with furrowed eyebrows before his lips turned into a malicious smile and the glint in his eyes let you know he was up to no good. 

“Well, well, well,” he sang as he got closer to both of you and you felt anger rising through your chest. “What do we have here?” he smirked. “You know, Tony says he believes in that ‘we are a family bullshit’ at work, but he doesn’t mean that literally, you can’t just walk into his daughter's room,” he said conspiratorially. 

There was an irate silence as Peter and you stared at Harry. Suddenly, you saw Peter’s jaw tighten a little bit and how his hands formed fists as he glared at Harry, you felt a nervous sweat go down the back of your neck at the look on Peter’s face. 

“Harry, fuck off,” you replied quickly as if you were trying to cool down the atmosphere. 

Not that it served a lot. 

Peter stood up and got closer to Harry, he glared at him as he watch him from top to bottom, disdain in his eyes. “I used to be interested in your father’s company,” Peter muttered, almost a bit too calm. “Too bad it all went to hell when he died,” Peter asserted, his eyes glinting sharply and a dark irritation lacing his features. 

You turned to Harry whose features for a second showed a bit of pain and annoyance, but suddenly, he returned back to his smug expression and he started to laugh, an annoying and loud laugh filled your room as Peter continued to glare at him. 

“I’ll see you later y/n,” Peter said between gritted teeth, and although he turned to you with a smile, you could tell that he was fairly upset. 

You simply nodded, unable to mutter any other word as Harry continued to laugh. Your stomach dropped to your feet and you suddenly stiffened uncomfortably as Peter closed the door to your room. 

Soon, Harry stopped laughing and walked happily to your bed as you glared at him. 

“Hm, just by the way he looked at me,” he sighed dramatically. “I might let him fuck me too,” he said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shut up,” you snapped at him quickly as you took your phone out, making the point of ignoring Harry. 

He stared at you with a frown while you continued to scroll on your phone, not actually seeing anything particularly interesting. Harry huffed, loudly, hoping he would catch your attention but you ignored him. 

“So, what’s wrong with you?” he finally muttered as his eyes burned you. Honestly, you didn’t look your best and you’d been ignoring him for a week or so, you knew it was a matter of time before he showed up. 

“I’m sick,” you replied, indifference lacing your words. 

“Boo, you whore,” Harry replied quickly as he took a spot next to you on the bed and you quickly flipped him off, which only caused him to snicker “Did you already fuck him?” he asked as he took his phone out too and scrolled through Instagram, he didn’t notice how you stiffened at his remark. “Haven’t heard from you since the party,”

You sighed for a second, knowing that he would give you shit about the fact that you hadn’t even kissed him.

“I haven’t” you replied honestly and Harry automatically scoffed. 

“You’re moving with the speed of a fucking turtle,” he snapped at you while he rolled his eyes and you turned to him, quickly swatting at his arm. 

He snickered as you stared at him for a moment. The wager, the one that you’d gladly accept just a couple of weeks before had left you at crossroads. Now, you weren’t only trying to keep multiple secrets at the time but you’d found yourself interested in two boys at the same time. You recalled Peter’s chocolate eyes and that laugh, while also thinking about Spiderman’s touch. 

Did he really deserve it? 

Usually, the guys you played with before always had it coming, always represented a challenge, they were always interested in getting in your pants and using you, but you always ruined them afterward. Now, it seemed like what you were doing was simply stupid and hurtful. 

“Just before we move on with this fucking wager,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant about it. “I want to make sure you know the damage that we may cause,” you said softly. 

Harry blinked once, no particular reaction to your words on his features as he stared at you in silence for a moment. 

“I’m aware,” he said as he shrugged and you, you made the mistake of huffing. Harry suddenly turned to you with a glare, his nostrils flared up as he watched you carefully, he was trying to read you and although you tried to remain as indifferent as you could, he’d known you for so long that he could tell what you were thinking. “Are you actually feeling sorry for him?”

You sighed, finally placing your phone down. “We’re destroying an innocent guy for you to get an internship and validation from my dad?” you snapped at him. “You have your own fucking company, why do you want this,” you growled and Harry’s eyes suddenly narrowed. 

“Eat me, y/n” he snapped. “I’ve spent all my life trying to do good, trying to be good enough for a fucking asshole that had the nerve to die without giving me so much of a 'congratulations' and yes, I want to work with your father because I have a vision too. If I get the approval of your dad, I might be able to get my seat on the board, and then we can make a powerful alliance. With my company and ideas, your dads and the fucking avengers, which you would become part of, we would be unstoppable,” he growled and there was a glint of something in his eyes that you didn’t quite recognize. “So tell me y/n are you in or are you out?”

You stared at Harry for a moment, debating your options. Maybe he was right, maybe this would all be worth something more and your mind couldn’t help to go to your times as an Avenger. With your suit and the resources that the Avengers had, you could do something more. Maybe, you could help the girls that had been trapped, you could help so many people and it would just take to ruin a boy’s life. 

Peter Parker’s life, for you to have a new one. 

You sighed. 

“I’m in,”

“Good,” Harry stated with a wicked smile. “Now fuck him fast so you can come with me to Ibiza and can watch me fuck Kamala,”

You wrinkled your nose momentarily. “I don’t know if I’ll go actually,” you replied. 

Harry frowned immediately as he clenched his jaw. “You’re such a baby,” he scoffed. 

“Fuck off,” you snapped at him. “I need time if I want this to go well and I take my fucking jet if I want to,”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Fine, Mrs. private jet,” he said mockingly and you glared at him. “You know what? We are having a pre-Ibiza party. Come with Parker and see if you get it over with,” he suggested and you sighed. 

Harry stayed in your room for a little bit longer as he told you all about the latest gossip of your circle of ‘friends’, you could say. You honestly, weren’t paying much attention to him but you acted as if he was telling you the greatest stories in the world. Honestly, you were praying for him to go before the clock hit 10:00 pm since you had a little something going on. 

He finally left at 8:00 pm a bit bored and grumpy when he suggested that you should come with him to a house party at Frankie’s house. You told him that you couldn’t be seen over there after what had happened, apparently, his parents had sent him to a two-week rehab program. And although Harry promised that there were apparently no bad feelings, you could tell he was lying and only wanted to see how the rest of the crew and Frankie reacted if you managed to show up. 

Moreover, it wasn’t like you were truly free that night. 

You’d managed to steal some nanobots from Harley’s and Tony’s lab once they were out but you were already comfortable to go out that night. Hours passed by quickly before you heard there was a tapping on your window. You reached out blindly, as you tapped the window’s corner and it was opening. The wind of the city, at that time and at the height you were in sent shivers down your spine, but still, you managed to smile. 

Especially once you saw Spiderman peeking into your window. 

“Are you ready?”

***

taglist: @walkintheprk @jeonzll @hoetel-manager @pbeckn26 @novaspietro @ayoelouise @lnmp89 @s-we-e-t-t-ea @spideys-world @dreamsarecloserwithyou

authors note: your comments on the last chapter as always have make my heart so so warm. I'm really happy that a few people are enjoying thisss. i really like the banter between harry and y/n, let me know what you think!! next chapter it's going to be short and sweet and after that we have another party. as always I'M SO THNAKFUL FOR YOUR SUPPORT IN KO-FI is keeping me afloat emotionally and financially lol and LMK your thoughts on the chapter.

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[magicianpanache]

Reading Midnight Sun: Chapter 6

The chapter starts with Edward learning Bella is clumsy, which comes as a shock to us all, I’m sure. He finds it funny in a pretty condescending kind of way, which is the way he does everything, to be completely honest.

Rosalie also gets upset at him for starting to talk to Bella again. We remember the Cullens could die if the Volturi knew Bella knew about the supernatural. We also remember that by speaking to Bella, Edward increases the chances the family will have to kill her, move, or transform her, which would take her human future from her without her choice.

Edward presents us an interesting picture of his and Rosalie’s relationship.

Rosalie and I had never had an easy relationship—I’d offended her the very first time she’d heard me speak, and it was downhill from that point on—but it seemed as though she was even more ill-tempered than usual the last few days. I sighed. Rosalie made everything about herself.

Bitchy blonde moment #6

Of course, how does Rosalie dare caring about what happens to the family? Notice also how Edward glosses over what he said to Rosalie when she woke up, days after being assaulted in the street by someone she trusted. He also presents it as something that just happened, that he had no agency on. I offended her. Whoops. What can I do now ?

They sit together at lunch, and Edward finds quite a lot of pleasure ordering Bella around, condescending her (motioning her to come sit with him instead of asking, acting cryptic). He is almost relishing in the fact she doesn’t understand what’s going on, because it means she won’t leave. He also expresses his frustration about the fact she won’t tell him his every thought, which leads to this lovely tirade from Bella.

“No, I can’t imagine why that would be frustrating at all— just because someone refuses to tell you what they’re thinking, even if all the while they’re making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean… now, why would that be frustrating?”

I frowned at her, upset to realize that she was right. I wasn’t being fair. She couldn’t know the loyalties and limitations that tied my tongue, but that didn’t change the disparity as she saw it. 

That is the most “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt by my honesty” apology. He can’t even admit this without a caveat.

“You’ve got a bit of a temper, don’t you?” 

Why does he sound like such a negging incel ?

Edward then ditches the blood typing class in biology. From his car, he sees Bella fainting as Mike brings her to the infirmary, so he picks her up, chasing Mike off, despite her protesting multiple times.

Edward, ever the gentleman, takes this opportunity to mock her.

I really don’t think he’s in a place where he can critique her reaction to blood.

Edward brings her to the nurse’s office, and then convinces the nurse to let her skip gym class. He, of course, forces her to accept a lift home. Like, physically forcing her. Of course, I only know he’s physically forcing her because I read Twilight. From Edward’s perspective, 

I pulled her back toward my car carefully. Apparently, walking forward was challenging enough for her. 

How would Bella survive without Edward around to save her from the floor ? Eventually, though, we get to a moment of clarity.

Was my behavior entirely offside? I thought I was teasing, that I was acting like the average besotted teenage boy, but what if I’d gotten it wrong? Did she feel coerced? I realized she had every reason to. 

Yeah… sorry to tell you this, but you’re not acting like the average teenage boy, and if this weren't Bella it’s entirely possible she would feel coerced.

Of course, they continue their conversation on the way back to Bella’s house.

“How old are you, Bella?” [...]

“I’m seventeen,” she answered.

“You don’t seem seventeen.” 

She’s mature for her age, is she ? 

Edward reveals he’ll be skipping Friday (because of the sun).

He ends the chapter like he started it, offending her by implying she could die because of her clumsiness.

Conclusion

Without Bella’s POV, Edward really seems like a creep. We know from Twilight that Bella likes his attention, but he has no way to know that, and he does not care, because he is starting to think that Bella cannot survive without him. The hand of the author makes him right, but still. He has no rational reason to believe she cannot survive walking without him pulling her.

Edward also shows his paternalistic side by speaking to her condescendingly, (we see he uses words like chided when speaking to her). He enjoys having the power in the relationship. How romantic.

[script-nef]

So why won’t you realise it '^' | Gojou Satoru

Category: fluff

1.9k words; Movie date [2/6]

Spoilers of Howl’s Moving Castle!! Beware!!

← Previous chapter | Masterlist

“Eh, Shouko! What do you mean you can’t make it?”

“I mean, another person is about to come in and they need me to heal them. By the time I’m done the movie will be finished.” Shouko’s voice over the phone is laced with annoyance and sadness coupled with lethargy. You don’t know how she pulls off such a unique combination of emotions but she somehow accomplishes it every time. “And I was looking forward to it…”

This would have been the first time you had a break with her since the trip to France. And while she enjoyed it a lot, the same couldn’t be said for the two males. Which was weird since Gojou is infatuated with sweets and Ken-chan agreed to come. So it was kind of weird when there was a tense atmosphere between them. You know your brother and Gojou are nearly polar opposites, but their animosity wasn’t usually that strong. 

They brushed it off as nothing when you asked if something was wrong, which was sort of dubious since you could kind of see the black cloud looming over the both of them, but you let it go. If it was something important, they would be able to handle it themselves or report it to you. You couldn’t sense any cursed spirits nearby so you guessed that they were just in a bad mood for some reason.

Still, you had a wonderful time and found some new snacks that everyone enjoyed. So a day well spent, all in all. 

And Ken-chan told you to tell him if Gojou ever offers overseas trips or anything similar, so he must have enjoyed it. Maybe you can ask Gojou to take all of you to Denmark one day.

“Ah… my dear Howl. Life and curses separate us again.” Her voice is full of sadness now, no doubt mourning over her chance of watching her favourite character on a huge screen with surround sound disappearing. 

“It’s okay! I’ll bring you the figurine and we can watch it again here in about… uh…”

“Ten years?” She sounds like she’s about to drop dead.

“Uh… yes… But maybe five years? Hopefully? You know, I shouldn’t watch it without you. I’ll come back to school.” 

“No, no. Watch the movie. At least you’ll get to see it. Ah, they’re coming now so I have to go.”

“Ah, okay. Bye, Shouko! Stay positive!”

A non-committal sigh accompanies a small “Bye” before the call clicks off. A frown takes over your face at the lost opportunity for her. She was looking forward to this for a long time and you leapt at the chance for another girls’ day out. Being able to watch a childhood favourite is an added bonus. But now you’re standing in the movie theatre, the ticket desk just across the room and an extra on your hand. 

It’s a shame because it cost quite a lot. Shouko is definitely going to mope about this when you get back and maybe start smoking again. She always has a pack on her even if she said she quit, and smokes one if she’s stressed or angry. You should call someone and make sure somebody takes it away from her.

You should probably hold onto the ticket and give it back. Or maybe that would make it worse for her, serving as a reminder of this day. Conflict rages inside your head. There’s a high possibility of either decision breaking her heart. Again. A buzz from your phone saves you the trouble of deciding.

Shouko: I sent someone as my replacement. 

A tap on the shoulder makes you turn as you type in a reply and you come face to face with a black jacket. Gojou’s head pops down.

“Hey there. I think you called for a replacement!” He seems to be in a ridiculously good mood, even more so than usual. Maybe his students successfully finished another mission. Which is great. It also means more paperwork for you. Which is not so great.

“How did you com—ah. Teleportation.”

“Ding ding ding! Correct!” He's been using the skill more frequently lately, popping in and out of places like one of those Whac-A-Mole games. . It gives you heart attacks all the time and you’re sure he gets a kick out of it. You saw how his smiles widen when you flinch or react. Thankfully it’s when you’re alone so other people never see you jump what feels like a metre into the air.

“Do you want popcorn?” He breaks you out of your thoughts. “I think they have the new caramel flavour. Apparently it’s way too sweet.” So perfect for Gojou. Even though he’s asking if you want it, there’s a spring in his step which definitely means he’s getting some. Probably the biggest option they have.

And you’re proven right because he comes back with two huge buckets which look impossible to finish. When you try to object, he cuts off with “I’ve eaten three buckets before. Alone.” With the smile he’s giving you, it really doesn’t sound like he’s joking. You try to take one to lighten the load but he says it’s alright. 

He signals the way to the theatre rooms with his head, walking beside you as you find your way.

“So what’s the movie?” Your head snaps to him in confusion.

“You don’t know?” A shake and a shrug. “It’s Howl’s Moving Castle. This was Shouko’s idea since she loves it and this year is Studio Ghibli’s 40 year anniversary. The cinema is having an exclusive showing of their movies this month. Only one session per movie, for some reason. Surely they would make more money if they played it over multiple days, but. I dunno. Executives make weird decisions.” A light scoff from him to tell he knows exactly what that’s like. His hatred for the higher-ups runs deep. You don’t push it.

“So she wanted to come but got held back at the last minute?”

“Yeah. Ah, here are our seats.”

You’re placed in the very middle of the room and you both make yourselves comfortable. Shouko went all out for this movie, upgrading the seats and making it a recliner. Your poor back, abused after sitting in chairs and hunched over computers for so long, practically melts into the plush cushion. It’s so comfortable that you might fall asleep in it if it isn’t Howl that’s about to start. 

Feet dangling in the air, you look over to Gojou to see him on his phone. It looks like he’s in a chatroom and you catch the words ‘Shouko’ and ‘favour’ before looking away. You didn’t mean to peek, but it’s not like you can consciously not read something. It was in your line of sight and you averted your eyes as soon as you realised what you were reading. Your brother brought you up better than to pry into other people’s businesses, even if it’s really, really tempting.

“Phones need to be placed on silent, you know.” The ads are coming on the screen. He smiles at you, slipping it into his pocket.

“Just talking to Shouko. She says she hasn’t even started properly.”

Disappointment fills you. Gojou is a good friend to watch this with but you hoped Shouko would somehow miraculously finish in time. She would be devastated.

“I’ll have to make this up to her when we get back. Give her the figurine and keep her hap—ah! I forgot! Gojou, I was supposed to ask someone to take her ciga—” He cuts you off with a light pat on your hand.  

“Don’t worry, I did it already. All of them are safe out of her reach and I gave her packets of hot chocolate instead. When we get back, she’ll have drunk at least half of them and be in a good mood.” What a Gojou-like replacement. He smiles like a child wanting pats on the head for a job well done. You just barely catch yourself from moving. 

Gojou gets a rep for being aloof and neglectful, but he does take care of the people he holds dear to him. His friends, members of the school, his students. You hope you’re included in the list. 

Actually, the more you think about it, the more you realise he’s different from initial perceptions. You learn more and more about him as time goes on, in the most delightful sense. He’s somewhat like an onion, new characteristics being revealed every time a layer is peeled. A snicker escapes at the thought of Gojou dressed up like an onion, just waddling around. He shoots you a questioning head tilt which you wave off.

In the years that you’ve known him, he made himself into a trustworthy friend. One full of laughs and ridiculousness. Maybe it’s his childishness that puts you at ease, but he’s incredibly comfortable and easy to relax around. Thoughts trail and the words fly out of your mouth before you even think.

“You know, I think you would make a wonderful boyfriend.”

He freezes completely, like somebody’s zapped him in place. You stare at him, wondering what’s wrong, but the lights dim and by the time he gathers coherence, your concentration is on the opening sequence.

“Ah, that was so good! Ugh, I love Howl. Isn’t he so cool?” You skip out of the room, remembering to take the figurines provided at the exit, with Gojou trailing behind you. “You know how she asks him to wait for her in the past? The first thing he says to her in the movie is ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’ He searched for her the entire time! This is modern poetry. This.” 

“Do you think Howl would be a good boyfriend?” The question stops you. It’s different than usual for some reason, the voice asking the question and the intensity of it. He’s still his aloof self, all smiles and grins, but there’s something you can’t quite place that’s wrong. It’s unnerving, but you diligently answer his question.

“Um, I mean, yeah? Look at how cute he is with Sophie. See?” The figurine is a frozen shot of Howl and Sophie dancing in the rain with an umbrella that’s not being useful at all. They’re both incredibly detailed, so much so that you can see their clothes and skin drenching wet. Wow, this is actually a phenomenal job. Shouko will be so happy. It makes your heart lighter knowing that at least something might light up her day. 

“Why is he cool?” Gojou seems to be invested in Howl. It confuses you since he just watched the movie with you and he saw how awesome Howl is. 

“Hm, well for one he can do magic.” He opens his mouth but you shush him with a finger to his lips. “Yeah, I know, what we have is kind of like magic too. But theirs is just… different. He just makes it seem kind of elegant. And he overcame his fear just for Sophie. Remember the scene with Sulliman and in the cluttered bedroom? He still found the strength to protect her even though he was so scared before. It’s admirable. I guess I like strong guys.”

“Hmm~” His tone is contemplative. “You know I’m stronger than him, right?”

A question mark forms over your head. He’s being really weird today. “Yeah? You’re the strongest in the universe, silly. What’s up with you?” Gojou just chuckles and ruffles your head.

“Nothing, nothing. Just making sure you know.” He slings his arm around your shoulder, the intensity gone and the light spring in his step back. “Who else do you think is strong?”

Next chapter →

[mellomanjiro]

Hello!! Can i request a near x reader that did the shinigami eye trade with their shinigami (feel free to name them whatever u like)

when near finds out that his s/o possesses the death note and the eyes, he is devastated. he doesnt mention it to reader, but their shinigami tells them that near knows and then, reader just disappears for a while. when they return, they look completely different and dont recognise near?

POVthis sounds interesting to write

thanks for the request <3

———————————————————————

(Y/N’s POV)

I’m going to do it, I’m going to make the eye deal. I think to myself while I’m trying to force myself to sleep. I’ve had the death note for some time now, just killing people for fun but it’s getting hard when you don’t know people’s names.

My shinigami, Midora keeps offering me the eye deal. I get shinigami eyes that can see everyone’s names and life span and in return I give up half of my life. I don’t want to be old anyways.

As I continue to think I hear the voice next to me start to speak, “Y/n what are you thinking about?”. “Nothing Near, it’s okay go back to sleep” I say to him.

Near is my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for awhile now and the problem is that Near is investing Kira. Kira is a serial killer who’s killing criminals with a death note but no one has found him yet. Near also doesn’t know I have one of those notes too.

“Y/n you’re definitely thinking about something. I know you and you have trouble sleeping when you’re deep into your thoughts. Come here” he says and lifts up the blankets offering me to move closer to him. I do just that and he wraps his arm around me.

“Y/n don’t worry about anything and just sleep, okay?” “Okay, love” I reply and kiss his forehead let myself relax in his arms. Near is really adorable, I can never hurt him. I eventually fall asleep.

I wake up in the morning and I notice Near is already awake. “Good morning y/n!” he says and I reply.

“I’m going to meet the SPK today, so you’re going to be home alone. Are you okay with that?” he says. “Yeah, I’ll be fine” I reply smiling.

Near gets ready and leaves and I decide to talk to Midora. “So y/n, have you made a decision yet” they ask me. “Yes” I tell Midora. “Ooooo what is it?” their harsh, raspy voice says. “I’m going to do it. I want to make the trade” I say. “Are you sure y/n?” Midora asks me. “Yes” and then it’s done.

I thought it would be painful but it wasn’t. I feel no different. “Haha y/n! Let’s go test them out” says Midora and so we leave.

Once we’re outside I see everyone’s names that’s walking on street. With their names there’s also a combination of numbers at first I didn’t understand the numbers and all of sudden I know exactly what they mean, it’s that person’s remaining lifespan.

I hide in a corner and pull out my book, constantly checking if anyone can see me. I see my first target, a tall white man with dark hair wearing a suit. His name is Alex Lee. I write his name down and also write “car accident” and then a car loses control and hits him and he’s instantly dead. I love my eyes.

“Alright Midora, that’s enough fun for now. Let’s go back” I say. And we make our way back home.

(Near’s POV)

After a long day with the SPK I come home and notice Y/N has noticed I was home yet. They’re probably at their desk working on the case. I decide I should sneak in and surprise them.

I slowly walk to the room and slightly open the door and I see something that I wish isn’t true. I see y/n watching the news and writing names down in a notebook. Y/n has one of those murder books! They’re also writing multiple names down when when there’s only 2 showing on the tv.... they must have those powers that changes your eyes. I’m in shock right now I don’t know what to do.

I quietly close the door and go into my toy room. This is the only place that makes me feel safe. I grab a puzzle and start working on it to help me with my thoughts. Could y/n really be using that book? They couldn’t be, right? I stop trying to convince myself that what I saw was fake. Y/n has a notebook and has powers. I can’t say anything to y/n, I’ll have to figure out a way to catch them.

(Y/N POV)

All of a sudden I hear Midora giggle. “What is it?” I ask. “Haha.... He saw you” she says. “What? Who? What are you talking about Midora?” I ask. “Near, haha, he saw you using the book and your new eyes” says Midora. “What? When?”, “Just now, he came in and saw you” she says.

I’m freaking out and start to cry. “Midora, what am I supposed to do?” I ask. “Kill him, kill Near” she laughs again. “That’s not funny, I’m not going to kill Near. I love him!” I say, angrily.

“Well y/n, you know he won’t approve” she says. That’s true, Near wouldn’t understand what I’m doing. I can’t kill him. I rather die then know that he’s not alive anymore. I realize what I must do, I’ll have to run away.

I grab only my notebook and take off, I’ll have to move to a city far away from here and never see Near, my love, ever again.

(Near’s POV)

After solving my puzzle I come to the conclusion that I must confront y/n now. I love them and I want to understand why they are doing this. 

I get up and start to walk to the room y/n was in. Before I open the door I get nervous and start playing with my hair, something I’ve been doing forever anytime I get nervous.

I open the door and I don’t see them. I call for y/n all over the house and nothing. All of their stuff is here except them.Y/n is gone and I’ll never see them again.

(Y/N POV, Time skip)

It’s been years since I first got the notebook, I also moved to a new city a few  years ago as well. I don’t remember why but I want to move back to the last city. It is getting pretty boring here and I haven’t used my book in awhile. 

Once we get there, Midora says she wants to go shopping and we find a street filled with little shops. One that catches my eye is a little toy shop. We both go in and I notice it is not that busy. 

I was too busy admiring all the little toys that I accidentally bump into someone. 

“Oops, sorry” I say and turn to look at them. The person I bumped into was a short, white haired, pale man, who seems about my age but there is something childlike about him. He also seems somewhat familiar. 

The man just stares at me. He’s probably mad at me but it was an accident. “Hey, I’m very sorry about that” I say to him and then turn around and start walking away.

“Y/n....?” I hear him say. I turn back to face him. I’m in shock. How does he know my name? I don’t know him.

“Umm ya? Do I know you?” I ask the man. “Huh? You don’t recognize me? Has it really been that long that you’ve forgotten about me?” he says. “It’s me, Near”.

Near? I look at him and his name is not Near. Above his head I read “Nate River” not Near. Maybe it’s a code name he’s using, I know some people were doing that when Kira was around and maybe he still is using it.

“You’ve changed y/n, you look so different” Near says to me.

“I’m sorry Near, I don’t know you and I don’t know how you know my name” I say. I hear Midora laugh and Near’s face just changes. He seems very upset and disappointed. I feel bad for the guy but I honestly don’t know him.

I turn away again and try leaving. I must go, this is honestly scary.

I feel something grab my arm and I turn around again. Near has grabbed me. “Perhaps this will help you remember” he says and then all of a sudden he kisses me and something in me kisses him back and it worked. I remember everything. He still loves me after all this time. After what I’ve done to him.

“Near....” I say and hug him, and I will never let him go.

I have never written for Near before this was interesting, would you like me to continue or turn this into a multi chapter fanfic? There’s so much I could do with this topic, so let me know :)

and again thanks for requesting!

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust pt.7 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: It’s the night of the party and Y/N is having seconds thoughts about going but her friend Kim convinces her to go and have fun. While things get more complicated with Peter, Y/N and Josh get closer at the party. 

Word Count: MF 7.7K ( This is my longest piece I-)

Author’s note: YALL HERE WE ARE! THE BIG OOPSIE DOOPSIE OF LOVEDUST! This is probably my favorite part that I have written so far- it’s fairly long but boy did my heart HURT. I would say we have about maybe 2-3 chapters left give or take and I’m so bummed the story is almost over :(. Thank you all for being incredibly kind, your support means so much I can’t thank you guys enough. ALSO hehe there’s a lil easter egg from the first chapter and the chapter with Y/N having a nightmare. If yall pay attention to some of the wording at the end...

Warnings: Underage drinking, adult language, angst, mentions of death

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || epilogue

You wanted it to be a normal night, one that in hindsight, would’ve worked out in your favor if you were normal to begin with. You weren’t the partying type or maybe, you just convinced yourself that it wasn’t the case since you were hardly invited to them to begin with. 

As if it made any sense, you felt eerily similar to Cinderella at this moment; even though she was one of the worst princesses in your opinion, you still sympathized with her story. The idea of wanting nothing more than to leave the confines of her dusty attic to dress pretty for a ball was something you could sadly relate to. 

While the Avengers complex was by far well above the average means, it was Cinderella longing for just one night away from her complicated life that made you see the story in a different light. 

But after years of wondering what it would be like to go to a real party (now that you were offered the chance to go) it wasn’t the way you dreamed it would be. As you stood in front of your closet, recalling the times you had put on outfits that you thought would be the perfect party attire just seemed like pieces of cloth, nothing more and nothing less. 

Because you didn’t care about the stupid party. You cared about Peter. 

You had put so much blame on him for everything; his feelings that he couldn’t control and his past which he apologized for multiple times. When you had the chance to fix everything, you were too scared to be vulnerable with him and admit that maybe you were falling for him. 

You weren’t a coward, you wanted to convince yourself that you could still move on and have fun without thinking of him but you felt almost embarrassed that you were feeling the opposite. 

“ I don’t want to go anymore. This isn’t right,” You sighed as you turned to your phone that was propped up against your dresser,” I can’t just leave him here while I go off to some party.”

You watched Kim through the facetime call as she put down her mascara to take a second to look at you,” Y/N, you have been talking about this party all week. Hell, I gave you that blue top that makes your boobs look great and you even said you couldn’t wait to wear it to the party!”

You only hummed in response as you moved aside the hangers in your closet to find the top that Kim had let you borrow. 

“ We mentally prepared for this, we watched Superbad and Booksmart in one night to get the full spectrum of high school parties and we even practiced how to play beer pong!”

“ That was on our phones, I’m sure it’s different in real life,” You sighed as you took off your shirt and slipped on Kim’s blue blouse,” I just feel awful about going to a party knowing Peter is just gonna be here all night.” 

“ Y/N, you deserve this party. You’ve worked your ass off for four years and I know how badly you wanted to go ever since we got uninvited to that one theatre party where Timothy Chalamete supposedly showed up to. I know you feel guilty about Peter and yeah, you kinda fucked things up, for now, but you deserve a goddamn break,” Kim practically yelled through the screen, doing her best to hype you up,” if you don’t go, you’re gonna regret it, you and I both know that. So just get dressed, do your hair all cute and shit, put on makeup or whatever you do and go have fun at this party with Josh.”

“ Fuck, Josh! I completely forgot about him, he’s supposed to pick me up in an hour!” You said as you suddenly felt a wave of nerves come over you,” what do I do about Josh? What if he tries to make a move on me tonight?”

“ Do you want him to make a move?”

“ I don’t know...not really but then again, I wouldn’t mind. Don’t hate me cause I know this sounds shitty, but maybe I need a distraction from Peter...is that awful?” You asked as you slipped off your pajama pants and rummaged through your dresser for jeans,” don’t answer that, I know that’s awful to say. Am I turning into a fuckboy?”

“ If you feel empathy than no, you’re not turning into a fuckboy,” Kim laughed as you found a pair of jeans to slip into,” look, I know how you feel about Peter and if you see yourself wanting to be with him than this thing you have with Josh won’t happen. At the same time, even if you do like Peter and you want to have fun with Josh for a night, you’re not a shitty person for wanting that. You’ve been through the wringer with Peter and to be honest, Josh is literally a goddamn angel so I don’t blame you for seeing him as an option. Either way, you’re hot, smart as fuck, and you are a fucking Stark; you don’t owe Peter or Josh anything so do what you want to do because you deserve it.” 

Kim was every protagonist’s wet dream; the side character who had more to offer every time and yet, she practically thrived off of hyping you up. You knew that she had a point, she always did. 

A part of you could tell which way she was leaning in terms of who you would go out with and yet, she only cared that you were making the right choice for yourself and your own happiness. 

“ You really are a ride or die friend,” You said honestly as Kim smiled back,” I’m going to get ready but I’ll see you there okay?” 

“ Will do girlfriend!”

Once the facetime call ended, you leaned back in your chair and stared at yourself in the mirror. 

You didn’t know what your intentions would be for the night and even though Kim had said you wouldn’t be a bad person if you had fun with Josh, you knew you would still feel shitty doing so, especially when you knew that you had strong feelings for Peter. 

As you fixed up your hair, all you could do was replay the conversation with Peter in the rain and how close you were to confessing everything. Looking back, you knew you were stupid for running away, if you really liked him than what was the problem of letting him know how you felt?

Because you knew once he was cured, he wouldn’t share the same feelings for you. 

In every sense of the lovedust, the way Peter felt about you wasn’t natural and yet, it was the lovedust that really made you like Peter back. 

You were just saving yourself from future heartbreak and given your past relationships, you had a reason to be hesitant in being that vulnerable with another guy. 

And yet, you still feel like you owed Peter an explanation. 

You got up from your seat and walked out of your bedroom, making a beeline towards his room. You were sure he was done with testing at this point but after knocking on his door a few times, there still wasn’t a response. 

You opened the bedroom door to find his room completely empty with everything neatly tucked in place as if he was cleaning up for a guest. 

The complex was big but you knew you would run into sometime before Josh showed up so you walked straight out and went to the elevators to make your way up to the labs. As you pressed the elevator button, you felt some unease sitting at the pit of your stomach. 

Something felt off, whether it be your natural woman inclination or just the fact that you were nervous to confront Peter. 

The elevator doors slid open and you walked in before you pressed the button to the designated floor like it was second nature.

Just breath, you’re fine, why are you freaking out?

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket and once you pulled it out, you felt your heart skip a beat when you saw Josh’s contact name pop up. 

Josh: I just left my apartment! I’ll see you in 20 min!

Your stomach shifted once again as you replied back before stuffing your phone back into your front pocket. 

Twenty minutes. 

That was enough time to confess to Peter right? 

The elevator doors opened to the lab and you walked towards the main zone with a slow pace, as if the anticipation would suddenly make you feel less nervous. 

Once you rounded the corner to where your dad and Banner were usually working on Peter, you found the room to be completely empty besides for a few lab technicians who were working rather quickly. 

You took a moment to give one last look into the lab before going down the hallway to peek into the other glass rooms to try and find Peter. You had a feeling that maybe you should’ve checked the gym before coming all the way up to the labs but once you found yourself in front of the last room, you spotted your dad and Banner walking out with grim faces. 

“ Dad? Is everything okay?” You asked as their heads whipped around to turn to you,” have you two seen Peter anywhere?” 

You studied your dad’s face carefully but he gave no inclination of what the situation was, a talent he had grown accustomed to since he was your age. You gave up on your dad and watched Banner’s face, a face you always had a talent of reading easily. 

He kept his eye contact anywhere but towards your direction and the collar around his neck was wet, a sign that he was stressed out.

“ Banner, where’s Peter?” You asked again as you looked up at him before moving your eyes toward the room they had just walked out of,” is he in there?” 

“ He’s-”

“Resting. He’s had a day full of tests so we put him in one of the hospital beds just to keep an eye on him,” Your dad interrupted as you watched Banner gulp,” it’s not a big deal kiddo.”

Liar. 

“ Okay...well if it’s not a big deal than I’m gonna go check up on him to make sure he’s okay,” You said wearily as you tried to walk in between your dad and Banner but he took a step to block you. 

“ Y/N, he’s not feeling well-”

“ Why are you lying?” You asked as you looked back at Banner,” what are you two not telling me?”

Your dad kept up the charade and sighed as if he was annoyed,” Kiddo, he’s K.O’d for the night. You know, lots of tests and meds that’ll have him relaxed for a few hours. Maybe you should check up on him tomorrow.” 

You could tell he was trying so hard to keep up the lie and while your dad was a phenomenal liar, you were smart enough to see right through his act. 

All you could do was nod as you played coy,” Okay, that’s fine. Oh! I wanted to let you know I’m going to that party tonight so I won’t be home until later.”

As you were studying Tony, he was doing the same right back at you. It was like a game of chess; who would break first, who had the upper hand, and who was going to make the next move without disrupting their own game. 

“ Alright, just be safe than. Be back before eleven,” Tony said as he patted your shoulder and started walking with you back to the elevator, his hand almost leading you away from the door,” Remember; Beer before liquor, never been sicker.”

You couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to know what was wrong with Peter. 

You stopped in your tracks as you turned around to face your dad and Banner, who was still avoiding your gaze. You knew something was up, it was painfully obvious and you weren’t going to just turn over and accept defeat. 

“ Would you ever lie to me?” You asked as your dad inhaled sharply, immediately shaking his head without a second thought,” okay.” 

You peeked your eyes back to the door and before you knew it, you ducked under your dad’s arm and ran over to the room where you were sure they were hiding Peter away. 

“ Y/N, stop!” 

You ran even faster as you practically slid against the tiled floor before throwing open the door to find Peter in the hospital bed. A huge heart monitor was connected to the side that had immediately spiked when you entered the room. 

“ Y/N? What are you doing here?” Peter asked as he sat up in his bed as your eyes traveled to several IV’S that were attached to his forearm. 

The first thing you focused on was how pale he looked. Whatever the hospital gown couldn’t cover showed almost a ghostly touch to his usual lush color. Since the lovedust, he had always had a blushful expression, accessorized with flushed cheeks or red tinted ears but now, there was none of that. 

You could hear your dad and Banner behind you but before your dad could drag you back, you could hear Banner talking your dad out of it to ‘give the kids some time.’ 

You didn’t even bother saying thank you as the door shut behind you, leaving you and Peter alone in the room. You were almost scared to come closer to him, he didn’t look like himself at all. 

You looked towards the heart monitor again which caused Peter’s heart rate to spike up with the thought alone. 

“ Tell me what happened,” You finally said as you made your way over to sit on the edge of Peter’s bed,” it’s serious, isn’t it?” 

Peter swallowed nervously but shrugged like it was nothing,” Your dad was there before anything bad happened.”

You shook your head, you weren’t going to get any information out of him like this. You turned to the side of his hospital bed and picked up a clipboard with his medical information. Peter tried grabbing it out of your hands but you stared him down, as if to say ‘ don’t try me.’ 

Peter backed down as your eyes scanned the sheet carefully, trying to decipher all of the medical lingoes that were vaguely familiar from watching Grey’s Anatomy. 

You felt your breath hitch as you read over the same diagnosis. 

“ You had an acute heartattack because of me, didn’t you?” You finally said as you carefully placed the clipboard on the desk beside you,” because of our argument... and you weren’t going to tell me.” 

“ Y/N, there was no reason to worry you-”

“ You’re so stupid Peter, why wouldn’t I be worried for you? You think an acute heartattack is something as normal as a fucking cold?” You snapped as you watched his heart rate rise. You took a deep breath and ran your fingers through your hair to calm yourself down,” I’m killing you. Loving me is literally killing you Peter.”

Peter watched your gaze fall back to the IV’S while he kept his eyes on you the whole time. You looked absolutely defeated and he didn’t blame you. The way you stared at his arm made him feel like you were trying to somehow reverse the lovedust, as if you could take his pain away. 

And yet, what you didn’t know was that Tony had just come in minutes before you to announce that yes, you could actually take the pain away forever. 

“ What about you? Is it killing you?” Peter asked as you tore your eyes away from his IV’s and locked your gaze on him.

“ Seeing you like this? Of course it’s killing me, I’m not that cruel Parker.”

“ No,” Peter swallowed dryly,” is it killing you that you might love me?” 

Your first instinct was to laugh. What kind of sick joke was coming out his mouth? You tried to force any sound, anything that was a resemblance of something from English translation but your brain mentally stuttered. 

It was as if your mind and words went on pause to let your thoughts catch up to you. Were you really that easy to read or did Peter know you better than you know yourself? 

“ How do I answer that?” You asked quietly as Peter was quick with a reply. 

“ You answer it honestly.”

“ Oh, because you have been so honest with me?”

“ You haven’t been telling me the truth either. You’re a lot of things Y/N, but you’re not innocent.” 

“ Oh yeah? What am I then? Since you clearly know so much about me,” You replied to somehow detour the conversation. 

Peter gladly took the bait as he chuckled,” You’re stubborn. You’re the most stubborn girl I have ever met in my entire life and I love that about you. It makes things interesting knowing that you don’t roll over for anyone, even when you know you’re wrong.” 

You only hummed, he had a point. You had learned that from Tony and you weren’t ashamed about it one bit. 

“ Well, I love how foolishly selfless you are. You always put everyone else’s feelings before yours even when your health is at stake,” You said back as Peter’s smile faltered. 

Oh how spot on you were. 

Cause in this moment now, Peter was between a rock and a hard place. He had information that you didn’t have, information that would seemingly fix everything and yet, he didn’t want you to know. 

The cure for the lovedust. 

“ You’re keeping something from me, aren’t you?” You said after studying his expression for a moment as Peter released his bottom lip that he was holding in between his teeth nervously. 

Yes. 

“ I think you’re the one not being honest with your feelings,” Peter said as a matter of fact,” why won’t you admit it?”

You wanted to swallow your pride because damn it, you didn’t want a repeat of earlier. You didn’t want to chicken out but could you afford to be vulnerable again?

“ Peter...I don’t want to admit anything until you’re in the right state of mind,” You finally said, which was the most honest answer you could give,” after all, we both know what you’re feeling for me isn’t the same as how I feel for you...it’s a side effect of the dust.”

Peter only nodded, even though there was so much to say to you. Peter felt like he was in a slowburn novel, but damn, even at this point there had to be more to give right? If this was a story of two people who were meant to be together, then why the hell is it taking so long? 

If Peter could have it his way, he would rewrite it to where they could be happily ever after in the first chapter but sadly, this was real life and there wasn’t that kind of luxury. 

“You’re right, it’s not the same,” Peter said bitterly as his sympathetic smile faded,” just a side effect.” 

You both understood. As things stood now, it was more of a standstill than anything. A pause, a pitstop, anything to halt whatever momentum the two of you shared.  You felt absolutely broken that he admitted it, his “love” for you wouldn’t ever be the same as however, you felt about him in that moment. 

Just like that, you both knew you were doomed from the start.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and you already knew it was Josh. You inhaled deeply as you gave Peter’s hand a squeeze before rising from his bed,” I’m gonna go but if anything happens, call me okay?” 

“ Same goes for you. Be safe,” Peter said in almost a whisper as you nodded before turning to the door. 

You walked out of the room and leaned against the door for a moment collecting your thoughts. You ignored the gaze of Banner and your dad and seemingly walked through the two without batting an eye. 

Tony felt guilty knowing that you had caught him in a lie but he really thought he was doing his daughter a favor. Once he knew you were gone, Tony walked through the door to find Peter deep in thought. 

Tony shut the door behind him and walked over, taking a seat in the chair beside Peter’s bed. No one said anything for a moment but Peter was the one to break the silence first. 

“ I didn’t tell her about the cure. I don’t think she would even want to...” Peter admitted as Tony nodded. 

Tony crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, his mind wandering in every direction,” Good call. Thor said our time is fleeting so we need to make sure it works.” 

Peter shifted nervously in his spot,” You and Banner won’t stop finding a different cure though, right? Just in case?” 

“ Yeah, just in case.” 

                                                       -------

“ You look nervous,” Josh pointed out once the two of you pulled up into the driveway of Amber’s house,” did you want to wait a second before we walk in?” 

You shook your head as you tried to swallow any nerves that were building up in your throat. You couldn’t believe you were actually about to go to a party after everything that has been going on. 

“ No, I’m fine...It sounds stupid but I don’t really do parties so this is all kinda new,” You admitted as you took in another deep breath. 

“ It’s not stupid at all. If it makes you feel any better, I usually get pretty antsy before preforming but now that I know you’re going to watch me, I feel less nervous,” Josh smiled warmly as you started to feel your senses ease,” parties aren’t as scary as you think. Yeah, there are always a lot of people I don’t know but seeing a familiar face is always reassuring.” 

Josh had a way of calming you down that no other person could do so easily. You wondered if someone else had said the same thing to you like Kim or Peter and if it would have the same effect but maybe it was just exclusively Josh that had that sort of charm. 

“ Okay, I’m ready.”

The funny thing was, you really thought you were ready until you stepped into her house. The floor vibrated along to the beat of whatever song was blasting along the speakers and the smell of alcohol and weed felt almost suffocating. You were immediately overwhelmed with the amount of people already there and of course, you hardly recognized anyone from school. 

“ Here, hold on tight,” Josh intertwined his fingers with yours as he led you both through the crowd of teenagers almost too effortlessly. 

He led you outside and you thanked god the stage that was set up for his band was in the backyard. You walked along the poolside, following closely behind him before you felt someone splash you with water. 

“ Hey what- Kim!” You shouted excitedly as you let go of Josh’s hand to crouch down beside the pool to where Kim was swimming in just her bra and underwear,” you’re not even wearing a swimsuit? You dirty bitch.”

Kim laughed as she rested her hands against the edge of the pool,” Took you two long enough. Joshua, how are you this evening?” 

“ It’s going good Kimberly, I hope you’re enjoying yourself,” Josh teased back as Kim playfully rolled her eyes,” Y/N, I’m gonna check in with the guys real quick. Are you cool to stay here for a second?”

You nodded and shooed Josh with your hand,” Go, I’ll be fine.”

Josh gave you one last nod before jogging over to where his band was setting up. His bandmates had seen you walking over hand in hand with you and were now giving Josh hard pats on his back, as if to say ‘ nice job.’ 

“ He’s so respectful it physically hurts. Like I know the bar is so low for men but Josh checks every box. It’s annoying,” Kim sighed as you dragged a lawn chair from the grass and put it next to the edge of the pool to continue talking to your friend,” I would kill to be in your shoes right now. Oh to have two, brown-eyed guys fawn over me!” 

You couldn’t help but laugh as Kim dramatically placed her hand over her forehead and all you could do was shake your head,” Whatever, you didn’t even like Peter. You said so yourself he was a total douchebag.” 

“ Was a total douchebag and look, not that it’s any competition but I’m hashtag, team Peter. I’m a sucker for a good enemies to lovers trope,” Kim sighed as you felt your chest tighten up at her proclamation. 

You moved your eyes away from Kim as Josh came back over to you,” Did you want me to get you a drink?”

“ Thank goodness yes-”

“Y/N you should go with him,” Kim insisted as you turned to give her an odd look,” don’t get me wrong Joshua, I trust you but ya know, parties and alcohol and...men. Just to be extra safe.” 

You wanted to drown Kim on the spot for even insinuating that Josh would do something as terrible as spiking your drink but luckily, Josh gave a sincere nod. 

“ Of course, that’s not a problem. Men really are the worst,” Josh said casually as the two gave each other a little salute,” ready Y/N?”

Josh interlocked his hand with yours once again as he led you back into the house and through the kitchen as some people called out to greet him. 

“ Look at you Mr. Popular,” You teased as Josh squeezed your hand before opening up the fridge.

“ This is your first time drinking right?” Josh asked as you nodded, almost embarrassed,” Hey, that’s alright. You and I are gonna stick to the light stuff tonight, these taste better anyway.”

Josh pulled out three bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and popped off the bottlecaps with a bottle opener before pouring it straight into two plastic cups. 

He tucked the third bottle underneath his arm as you watched him curiously. Josh caught you eyeing his actions as he handed you the cup carefully. 

“ Why not just drink it straight from the bottle?” You asked as you watched Josh take a sip,” I feel like we’re hurting the environment.” 

“ Looks cooler in a red solo cup,” Josh admitted bashfully as he clinked his cup with yours. 

You took a small sip, expecting it to burn like how it was always described in coming of age books but surprisingly, the fizzy taste of citrus wasn’t overpowering in any way. Josh raised his eyebrows and playfully nudged your shoulder,” See! It’s good, right? If you drink enough of these, I’m sure anyone could get tipsy but the goal of this party is to actually remember it the next day.”

There was just something about Josh that made you feel so much safer than anyone else. He didn’t tease you for never having gone to a party before or having alcohol; if anything he did his best to make sure you were as comfortable as possible. 

“ You’re being unreasonably cool, you know that right?” 

Josh smiled as he reached for your hand instinctively for the third time that night,” Only for you baby.” 

Smooth smooth Josh. Like putty in his hands, he led you back to the backyard but the whole time, you felt your heart practically melt at him calling you baby. 

Was it pathetic how easily you leaned into his touch? Maybe. 

But god, he really did make things harder for you. You had come into this party with your eyes on another guy and yet, Josh always managed to turn up the charm whenever necessary and you ate it up. 

Josh might be the charming, golden boy but you knew you couldn’t be too naive. Everyone had flaws, maybe Josh’s was that he was too nice and too friendly, or possibly him being a complete lightweight was the only thing holding him back in life. 

Lucky bastard. 

Once you made it to the backyard, you found Kim with a towel around her body, sitting on one of the lawn chairs. Josh walked over and whistled at Kim to look up from her phone, to which he handed her the bottle of Mike’s and she sounded a quick thanks in response. 

“ I’m gonna warm up with the guys. We’re only going to play a quick set but after, I’m all yours,” Josh promised as his cheeks started to get red at his own words but he turned back around at an attempt to hide his face. 

You took a seat next to Kim as you felt your heart practically skip a beat,” He’s really something isn’t he?”

“ Mm, he’s something alright,” Kim sighed as she struggled to open up the bottle,” dumb bitch, he didn’t bring a bottle opener or something?” 

“ It’s the thought that counts!” You said back as Kim popped the bottle cap using the metal part of the lawn chair.

As you listened to Josh’s band start their first song, you couldn’t help but feel guilty on how you were feeling. A part of you was holding on to the idea of you and Peter being a possibility but things were always so complicated with him. 

There was more to lose in being with Peter and it was painfully obvious that Josh made things so incredibly easy. You didn’t need to walk on eggshells when you were with him and sure, things were new and always changing but Josh could eventually be a person you could lean on. 

You reminded yourself that Peter “loved” you and that you did feel something for him that Josh couldn’t make you feel, but it wasn’t real love and that alone completely sobered you up from your moodiness,” Cheers Kim.” 

She watched as you drank whatever was left in your cup but Kim only ooo’d, knowing it wasn’t enough to get you drunk. 

You shook your head as you tried to think of anything but Peter. Tonight was your night to be free and you didn’t want to have to worry about who would be waiting for you once you got back home. 

And yet, deep down, you wondered why a part of you felt like it wasn’t right to hold Josh’s hand. Maybe because you knew you liked holding Peter’s more. Even as you looked up at Josh who stole a few glances your way, you silently prayed that it was Peter up on that stage instead. 

“ I can’t do this,” You said after a second of overthinking everything as you pulled your phone out of your pocket,” I need to text him.” 

“ Um fuck no! No drunk texts, that shit is so embarrassing Y/N!”

“ This is less than 5% alcohol, I am definitely not drunk Kim,” You mumbled as you slapped her hand away and pulled out your phone to text Peter,” I thought you were on team Peter?” 

Y/N: I need you

Y/N: *address*

Kim watched as you texted Peter but before you could send it, Kim leaped out of her seat and snatched the phone out of your hand,” I swear-! Yes, I am a new fan of team Peter, although Josh is getting major brownie points, but I have been a loyal member of team Y/N way before anyone else. I’m doing you a favor, what is texting him going to solve?” 

You pouted as Kim slipped your phone into her bag, unbeknownst to the both of you that the message had accidentally sent. 

“ Now get the hell up and lets dance bitch!”

                                                         ------

You and Kim had perfected your mental state to a tee; not drunk enough to trip over air and make complete fools of yourselves but tipsy enough to where even the slightest look at each other was enough to make you break out into a fit of laughter. 

You still ‘danced like people were watching’ but you managed to still let loose enough to where the music flowed so freely between your fingertips. 

“ Josh you guys were great!” You shouted as you pulled him into a surprise hug, which he happily accepted,” I think I’m officially your number one fan now.”

“ Wait in line,” Kim scoffed playfully as she grabbed her bag from the floor,” I’m gonna go get a cheese plate or something. Don’t do anything gross while I’m gone.” 

You shot her a prompt ‘ why would you say that’ with your eyes before turning back to face Josh. You weren’t sure where things would go next but he took your hand and led you to the other side of the backyard to a wooden bench, claiming that he just wanted to rest a bit after singing for so long. 

The bench was small enough to where your thigh was against his but you didn’t mind the contact. 

“ Thanks for coming out by the way. I know these type of things are pretty overwhelming but I’ve been having fun so far. How about you?” Josh asked as you exhaled deeply. 

“ I’m glad I came...thank you again for convincing me to come out here. I feel like there’s been a lot of stuff going on at home and it’s kind of nice being a normal teenager for once,” You said honestly as Josh rolled his shoulders back. 

You could feel how nervous he was next to you but for the most part, he didn’t really show it from his facial expression. 

“ Can I ask you something?” 

You nodded, trying your best to be as cool as possible but all you could think about was how dry your mouth felt. 

Oh fuck, the million-dollar question was finally here, wasn’t it? Was he going to reveal his feelings? What if he was going to make a move?

“ Is there something going on between you and Peter? The other day when I came over, it felt...intense. I didn’t want to overstep by coming over or anything,” Josh hesitated as he tested the waters. 

Oh. 

Well fuck, that question was just as nerve-wracking as the others. You wanted to be as honest with Josh as possible but at the same time, you didn’t want to ruin any chances you had of possibly having him around if Peter didn’t work out. 

You knew that was such a shitty mindset but Josh had a way of making you feel so comfortable and you weren’t willing to let that go. 

“ I thought I had something with him but it’s complicated,” You answered honestly,” you saw him, he’s...sick and I feel like the sickness is making him feel things that aren’t actually there. I don’t know, it’s so weird to explain.” 

Josh bit his bottom lip nervously as he hung onto your every word,” So his feelings for you aren’t there like he thinks it is?” 

God, it sounded so simple the way Josh said it when it was so much worst in reality. Of course, it would be way easier to tell Josh everything from the toxic relationship you and Peter had to how the lovedust was emotionally and physically a toll on both of you. 

For obvious reason, you could never reveal that much to him. 

“ Yeah, exactly that,” You sighed, sounding a bit too disappointed and Josh had caught the shift in your voice,” feelings are always so complicated.”

“ Not all the time,” Josh said quickly as he caught himself,” I mean, liking someone doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes it’s really easy because love shouldn’t hurt, you know?” 

You only nodded because you could tell Josh had more to say. He took this opportunity to shift his body to fully face you and you scooted your back against the armrest so you could show him that you were attentive. 

“ I mean, when I like someone, all I think about is how much I like being around them. Everything else kind of just falls away and it feels all warm like how the books describe it,” Josh could feel a blush creep onto his cheeks yet again but he knew there was no point in covering it up now,” it’s a cliche but I think when you have a crush on someone, everything just falls into place... And I feel that when I’m with...you.”

Your heart practically drew closer to him because what is going on, this was different. Even though Peter had generally been saying the same things to you for days on end, this was more. 

There wasn’t some magic space dust that was making Josh confess his feelings, it was just pure humanistic drive to step out of one’s comfort zone that had tugged on Josh harder than ever before. 

As if time had slowed down, you watched closely as Josh placed his hand onto your knee before leaning in, getting dangerously close to your lips. Josh stopped only a mere centimeter before your lips touched, as if to give you a chance to back away and yet, you stood still. 

You were trying to make sense of what your heart and your gut were telling you but you thought back to Peter admitting to you that the love he felt for you was a side effect of the lovedust, nothing more and nothing less. 

Peter would never like you back. 

That’s what pushed you over the edge and so, you closed the gap between you and Josh as you kissed him back. You could feel Josh smiling against your lips but the pure sensation of the kiss didn’t last. 

Kim had witnessed everything in slow motion. The text from Peter, indicating that he had entered and was heading to the backyard to watching Josh lean in to kiss you. It was like a sick hypothetical they always asked in ethics classes when presenting the Trolley Dilemma and yet, she barely had enough time to make a decision. 

All she could do was shout but it was a little too late. Peter saw everything. 

He saw you close the space between your lips and Josh’s. He saw Josh smile against your lips. He saw you pull away before leaning in for more. 

Peter knew what was coming next, he practically braced for the pain that he knew was coming because just earlier the same day, he had a miniature version of it. But he never expected the pain to be this unbearable. 

His ribs felt like someone had just swung a bat into the center of his chest and he could feel every bone splitting into various small fragments that were too small to ever glue back together. Each little fragment of whatever was left had seemingly pierced his heart in a thousand different places as more and more pressure starting to build in his chest. 

He couldn’t even let out a cry for help, not even a whimper because no air could come in through his mouth. 

The fear alone made his chest tighten up to the point where he felt his lungs almost give in from inside of him. His vision was the next to get blotched out with a violent array of reds and oranges, moving at a fast kaleidoscopic rhythm that sent Peter deeper into a panic.

The last to give was his legs; the dizziness from the complete distortion had made his knees buckle from the pain, sending him straight into the pool. 

You heard Kim cry out first as she pushed her way through a crowd that was blocking the door. You moved away from Josh to find the commotion and even though you couldn't see who fell into the water, you knew deep down who it was. 

You ran over to the edge of the pool and without a second thought, you dived into the water. Josh quickly followed behind you; it took him only a second to kick off his shoes before he jumped in after you. 

What scared you the most was how eerily quiet it was underwater. You could hear some muffled shouts but that’s not what was so quiet. His body was motionless in the water, there was no sign of struggling or thrashing or convulsing like how it was in the movies. 

Everything just felt slow as you desperately reached your arms out to swim faster to him. You only had one focus once you wrapped your arms across his chest and kicked up to the surface. In your mind, you were already going through how you would start compressions on him once you reached the top. 

You were panicked and scared but you knew you had to pull yourself together, pushing away any thoughts of how far gone Peter could be. 

You broke the surface with Peter in your arms as you called out to someone, anyone to take him from your arms. Kim and one of Josh’s bandmates helped lift Peter’s lifeless body onto the concrete as Kim quickly called 9-1-1. 

Her hands were shaking as she tried to press the three buttons and after an eternity, they picked up the phone. 

You scrambled up from the pool and hovered over Peter’s body and without a second thought, you started doing CPR. 

For a moment, that’s all you were thinking. Like a machine, over and over again on an endless cycle, chest compressions, open his airway, give rescue breaths. When you found yourself thinking about how panicked everyone else was and how pale Peter looked underneath you, you continued to give compressions until you felt like your arms would snap from the pressure. 

You don’t know how much time has passed but enough to where there would’ve been a sign by now. You sobbed for Peter and kept calling out to him, your voice shaking like a child, the same child who lost her parents all those years ago. The same child who held that heavy towel, pressing it against her fathers chest to stop the bleeding- no. 

You couldn’t think about that, this was different. You could save him. You kept reminding yourself over and over as you did a round of chest compressions, opened his airway, and gave more rescue breaths. Over and over. Non-stop. 

Again and again without hesitation. 

At this point, you couldn't stop your mind from thinking of Peter and the possibility of him actually dead. How long was he under? What had happened before? He must’ve seen the kiss- oh my god you killed him. 

You can feel it, building up inside of you like an unstoppable path set ablaze like pure lava. 

You thought about never hearing his laugh again, the one where he would grip his sides so hard, he would wheeze like an old dog toy. Chest compressions. Airway. Rescue breaths. 

You thought about him never calling out your name, whether it was followed by an insult or a loving comment about how you made him feel. Chest compressions. Airway. Rescue breaths. 

You thought about never touching him again, his strong arms holding your shaking body when you had that awful nightmare or how perfect his hand fit in yours when you two walked together in the rain. Chest compressions. Airway. Rescue breaths. 

You thought about never telling him how you actually felt, how stupid you were forever letting him get away because it was him all along. Chest compressions. Airway. Rescue breaths. 

It was always him. 

You were in love with Peter. 

And suddenly, almost finally, Peter jolted up and coughed up the water from his lungs. 

You stopped the compressions and held your own breath as Peter continued to cough up more water, his eyes squeezed shut. 

“ Peter? Can you hear me?” You called out between your choked cries as you snapped your fingers close to his ear.

After a moment, an agonizing moment, Peter nodded, as everyone else collectively let out the breath they didn’t know they were holding. Peter opened his eyes slowly, taking in everything like it was his first time seeing the world. 

“ Oh thank god, don’t worry, help is coming. Stay awake for me, okay?” You sighed in relief as you tucked a strand of wet hair behind your ear,” I’m so glad you’re okay.” 

When his eyes lock onto yours, he feels an odd sense of deja vu that he can’t explain. His chest isn’t tight anymore, his hands don’t feel as clammy as before, his mind feels almost cleared. 

He focused on your eyes while everything else drowned out around him. Your pupils, they’re big and they’re filled with a heavy deal of worry but there’s something else. Your eyes, he’s looked into them so many times before but why is it different? 

As shaken up as you are, you manage to cup his face carefully to console him, or more so yourself. Your hands are shaking but they’re warm against his cheek and he can’t help but reach his hand to lay across the hand that’s cupping his face. 

Peter feels his face flush, but this time it’s different, it’s...euphoric? Peter wasn’t even sure if he was saying the word correctly but that’s how he felt. 

Your eyes, he’s so enamored by the way you’re looking at him. You were worried of course, but no, there was something else. 

“ You’re safe Peter, you’re okay.” 

“ Don’t worry I got you.”

“ Just breath for me, okay?” 

There it was, the same deja vu. You had said that to him before, or maybe he had said it to you before through broken sobs when you had the nightmare. 

Peter’s breath hitched as it all finally hit him, he figured it out just by holding your deep gaze. 

Oh my god.

The lovedust had worn off, it was gone. All the anxiety and nerves from having it in his system had disappeared, evaporated off of him almost. The chest pains and the shortness of breath had gone away but Peter still felt something pulling, tugging at his heartstrings. 

The lovedust was gone, he knew that well enough.

 The only thing he could feel as he stared back at you was a pure, undivided, longing for you. 

That’s right, Peter Parker was still hopelessly in love with you, no lovedust required.

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[missyasf]

Game Of Hearts

| 3 |  

↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.

↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader

↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller

Word Count: 9.5k

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Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together! 

3rd Day Sojourn 

“Looks like we got a smartass here don’t we?” 

You felt torn on whether to intervene or not. Chishiya, was by no means a hero or a prince charming. You didn’t need to know him to know he was going to be the last person to save you out of good will. Not like you needed saving regardless but you couldn’t help but wonder what his motive was. 

Chishiya still had that cold smirk on his face, as if extremely amused at the furious Niragi you had held him up by the jacket, even face to face he not once had a change in expression, as if he just genuinely didn’t care about whatever Niragi felt. 

“Probably because I am smarter than you.” Chishiya lifted his chin a little a devious icy smile on his lips like he was getting a rise out of the way Niragi simmered and growled at him, his hands tightening around his jacket and you were briefly worried if Chishiya didn’t shut up that he was going to be beat into a pulp. No matter how smart he was, he couldn’t outwit his way from getting throat punched. Although...you wouldn’t deny a secret part of you would find that mildly funny. You also wanted to throat punch him on certain occasions. 

“I believe that’s enough Niragi.” Everyone paused at the sight of someone new arriving, Ryu had gotten out of the pool to stand next to you and Hiroko as he whispered, “That’s number three, Kuzuryuu. He often keeps everyone in their place when Hatter isn’t around.” 

Niragi stuck his tongue as he began to cackle, letting go of Chishiya. Breathing in relief you relaxed a little as everyone did the same. Just within a split second though you could hardly comprehend the sight of Niragi immediately decking Chishiya right across the jaw who was knocked off balance. People were already intervening as you stood there gaping. You didn’t think Niragi would actually punch him. 

You had thought Chishiya’s expression would’ve changed but much to your disbelief it was as if he was even more settled into his resolve, grabbing his jaw as a viscous smile appeared on his lips, spitting out blood as he goaded, “So you agree then? Anyone with half a brain would be able to reply instead of resort to violence.” 

Did this man really wanna die on his first day in the Beach? 

Niragi was pulled away and back to his group with steam practically pouring out of his ears, attempting to get back to Chishiya before he was yanked back by perhaps the most physically intimidating man you had ever seen, “That’s number 2, Agni, the leader of the militant sect.” Hiroko clarified to you but it fell on deaf ears as you hurried over to Chishiya, now feeling immensely bad that regardless of his intentions he was hurt for what? Gloating? Was his ego truly that big, “God are you insane!?” You cried out in a whisper kneeling down, your maternal instincts on overdrive as you grabbed his face immediately checking for any bruising. 

Chishiya almost like a cat that didn’t want to be touched pulled away from your grip unappreciative, “I don’t like annoying or stupid people.” He replied immediately, his eyes leering ungratefully, “And he was ruining a perfectly good day for me. If you think I’d care for someone like you then you’re more delusional then you look. Besides it’s just blood, it’ll go stop.” 

Ouch.

You rolled your eyes at him deciding to not take his words to heart though a tiny part of you wondered if he only said that due to the conversation you both had last night. Or maybe he just really didn’t care. Regardless it didn’t matter, “He had a fucking rifle!” You whispered angrily, “I get it, we aren’t best friends but I don’t wanna see you get shot you asshole.” 

“We aren’t friends at all,” Chishiya replied coolly, his eyes analytical and calculating, his gaze like ice that glared you down as if you were his new target for a reason unknown, “We aren’t even acquaintances. We’re just strangers and I’d prefer to keep it that way. I don’t need your concern or care, so stay out of my way.” 

You felt thoroughly indignant at his words as you clenched your jaw, “You know what? I doubt you’ve ever had anyone care for you and I can see why. I hope he hits you harder next time you jerk.” This man drove you utterly insane! And you couldn’t even understand why. Chishiya was so cold and for no reason…! 

Walking back to your pool chair you snatched your shorts, “Y/n…! Y/n! Are you okay!?” Nanami hurried to your side, you had forgotten all about your sister being in full range of the horror show she had just finished watching between you and Niragi. Probably too scared to try and intervene and you didn’t blame her. Had it been anyone else besides your sister in your shoes you would’ve kept to yourself as well. 

“I’m fine, I’d say you should check on Chishiya but apparently he doesn’t need anybody!” You flailed your arms before plopping down on the seat still mad, “What a…! A…! Pathetic, bitter way to live! He’s so conceited!” You curled your fists as you pulled your shorts up before buttoning them as you grabbed your sheer cover up jacket. 

Nanami frowned as she grabbed her hands, “Well…” You whipped around in anger, silently staring at her, just daring her to try and come up with some excuse for this guy. Nanami, was a soft hearted person, she never wanted to judge a book by it’s cover and always gave the benefit of the doubt. You admired that about her, but you sometimes wished she was a bit more….realistic with people, “I’m sure he’ll come around.” She decided to not pursue her original words as she offered a weak smile. 

“You can deal with that if you want, but I’m done with him. Anytime I try to be relatively nice, I just get spit in the face.” Huffing you crossed your arms, “I’m going on a walk.” And true to your words you did, you needed to be by yourself for a while to clear your head after what had all transpired just minutes ago. 

“Originally I helped run a ranch but I wanted to see all the sights so I moved out of my pops and came here to the city!” The music was loud in here and so many people were dancing, makeshift stripper poles had been made and honestly. You understood the Beach was supposed to be an escape, but that didn’t make it a bit of a pathetic sight to see people attempting to swing around and accidentally break it. Multiple times. 

You were currently sat at the table with Akari, Hiroko and Ryu everyone having a fairly good time and the longer you talked to Hiroko the less intimidating she became, “I don’t really remember much to be honest,” Akari scratched her head as she hummed, “Just that after I finished putting groceries up I saw fireworks out of my window.”

You straightened up in curiosity, you had seen the same thing! “Yeah we all did,” You slumped at Ryu’s words as he frowned, “Nobody can remember anything after seeing them except waking up here in the Borderlands.”

“What were you guys before this…?” You asked, not wanting to linger for long on just where you were, in a city that was a replica of Tokyo with only a handful of what? A hundred people, maybe a little more? You didn’t have the mindset right now to even try and grasp what was going on or what had happened. 

“I was a lawyer,” Hiroko answered first, her expression clearly proud and you’d imagine why, this meant she was older than you! “I did quite a bit of traveling around and dabbled in attorney work for awhile...That’s what my dad wanted me to go in as,” She rolled her eyes, “But I found I’m better at building a case.” 

Somehow...you weren’t surprised, you smiled regardless wrapping your arms around yourself, the more you talked to them the more comfortable you began to feel, “One morning I was late to getting to the courthouse and this idiot ended up spilling coffee on me,” Hiroko’s words may have been harsh but she looked Ryu with the softest expression you had ever seen her wear.

Obvious fondness in her eyes, “It was by chance he did that I like to think it was by fate I ended up meeting him again except he was behind the counter at the coffeeshop I always went too.” 

Ryu’s cheeks dusted pink as he gave an awkward smile, “I worked evening shifts but got switched over to mornings, best decision I ever made! I’m currently in my last year of college for being an art curator!” 

“A cure what now?” Akari cocked her head to the side and for some reason the three of you busted out laughing at her as she parted her lips, “Hey don’t laugh! I’m being serious! Is that some kind of professional coffee maker?” 

You closed your eyes giggling as you shook your head, “What about you Y/n? What were you before all of this?” You paused for a second at Hiroko’s question as the table quieted down, suddenly your memory swiped back to the night of the fireworks. What happened at work, how you were supposed to go to class the next day. How your night ended early.

“Ah…” You rubbed the back of your neck as you sheepishly smiled, unsure of where to even begin. It wasn’t that...you were ashamed of your work you just- felt often misunderstood by people. Anytime you said you were a sex worker you either recieved wild looks and suddenly you were treated lowly or people- men in particular would begin to send you uncomfortable innuendo’s. 

 “Ah…! Y/n!” You straightened up at the muffled screech that sounded like your sister as your eyes shot around the room only to find Nanami fumbling towards you with a whine, suddenly hiding behind you as you frowned standing up, “Good! Good! I’m glad you’re here!” She chuckled nervously as your expression contorted. 

“Where is that bitch!?” 

Oh...why did this seem vaguely familiar, “What did you do?” You hissed as you turned to Nanami as she rubbed her neck sheepishly only for you to whirl back around again at the sight of a raging woman, the most notable feature her breasts nearly spilling from her loose bikini top as she pointed an accusing finger at your sister, “Why don’t you stop being a slut trying to get with MY boyfriend and take it up with me!” 

“Nanami!” You hissed as she cowered behind you, her lips tugging into a pout as she poked both her pointer fingers together with a frown. You had an obligation as a big sister to at least try to defend her before feeding her to the wolves, “Maybe you should give that energy to your boyfriend...Wasn’t he the one supposed to stay loyal?” You raised your brows as you spoke. 

You shrieked as you ducked down, a beer bottle flying above you as the girl raged on. 

“That’s Kokona, resident miss possessive.” Hiroko leaned back in her seat as she sipped her drink, obviously this wasn’t too odd of a sight as she shrugged, “You might wanna run.” 

You brows raised at her words only to see Kokona gathering three other men around as Hiroko snorted, “She’s got a whole pack of guys willing to do her bidding.” 

“Y/n…!” Nanami whined, grabbing your arm as you watched the three men approach, you looked between Nanami and them as your lips parted in a half sincere apology. 

“...Sorry Nami that's what happens when you try to sleep with someone's boyfriend!” You shoved past her as you heard her yelling at you as she split off on the other side of the room. People did nothing to effort to try and move out of your way as you shoved between them, ducking down as weaved through the crowd in hopes of attempting to lose them, you really didn’t want this to become a reputation for you and your sister. 

Diving into a booth seat you felt the stares of two men as you offered an awkward smile, “Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to not get killed…” You offered a quirked smile as you grabbed the long island tea off the table, tipping it towards them as they all bubbled out cheers as you took a long sip, your eyes carefully watching over the crowd as you spot the one guy that must’ve been sent after you. 

After all you weren’t the one that Kokona wanted to kill, it was a pretty common occurrence you had experienced except...at least the woman before wasn't psychotic enough to actually try to kill you. You supposed the Borderlands were different. Very different. 

“Hey you should totally hang with us! We got your back babe.” You looked up at the dorky grin of the man you had sat next to your lying figure, which you were trying to use the table as coverage, “No extra cost needed beside a good laugh!”

You offered a weak smile, “I’m Y/n!” You introduced, endeared at the oddly innocent smile on his face as you awkwardly shifted, “My sister tried to sleep with someone's boyfriend and I somehow got dragged into it.” 

“Kokona’s a mean one,” The guy across the table hiccuped as he lifted his glass, “I’d stay away from her if I were.” You lifted up onto your elbows as you glanced up at him, his eyes heavily dilated before you realized he had obviously been as high as a kite and drinking...No wonder they looked so out of it. 

Watching the three men rally back together you quickly pressed back against the seats as you closed your eyes, “Yeah, I can tell...Is she like this with everyone....?” You grabbed the glass once more for another sip, needing something to take the edge off of this whole day. If your sister wasn’t so horny you wouldn’t be in this position right now!

“Nah, mainly girls.” The one beside you waved a hand, “She’s pretty cool otherwise, a little ruthless though. She gloats about her speciality being hearts a lot so she thinks it makes her automatically superior since most of us are spades or clubs players.” 

Sitting up a little you tilted your head in confusion, holding the drink you now claimed as yours as you drank it once more, “Specialty? Are venues specified towards…? What? A certain type of suit?” 

“No! No! Nothing like that, specialty just means what you naturally have a knack for! All games are still random at each venue,” The guy beside you sloshed his drink, obviously semi drunk himself as he explained, “That's why Hatter sends a team of four or three where each person has a specialty in each suit- except there isn’t a lot of hearts player, because we haven’t really encountered any…” 

Jiggling your drink you looked down at the ice that was slowly melting as you hummed, “Okay that makes sense.” You nodded remembering Hatter mentioning this was well, it would only be natural that the longer you survived you’d have a preference for a suit. 

“Hey aren’t you new?” The guy across the table pointed a sluggish finger at you, “Shouldn’t you be a little more...freaked out…?” 

You offered a weak smile as you glanced away, “Oftentimes in traumatic situations hysteria doesn’t always hit first, it’s likely that my psyche is still in shock and hasn’t fully processed what I’ve seen the past day…” The guy across the table squinted his eyes as he nodded with his lips parted as if in awe at your words, “It’s a mental thing,” You waved at your head, “To try and keep the psychological state of my mind in one piece.” 

You wouldn’t deny, there was a certain part of you that felt numb to everything and a smaller part of yourself wondered how you could intake all this information without going hysterical. But...the way you saw it was if this was your reality now, there was nothing you could do to change it. It was better you just got as much information as you could and try your best to adapt if you were going to live on. 

Glancing out over the crowd you noticed the men had disappeared once again as you offered both the guys a smile, “Thanks for letting me stay! But I’d better get going.” You gave a small nod, getting up as you held the glass, looking down at it as you frowned...You really hoped this wasn’t laced with anything or else it was going to be a very long night. 

Pushing through the crowd you couldn’t find Nanami anywhere but you did spot the girl you had sent three guys after you both like a fucking dog. Squeezing the glass you took a long drink as you approached her, “Kokona,” You called out with a smile as you waved, her eyes sharp as she immediately glared you down, “Listen…” You approached her with an easy smile, “I’m not here to make enemies, my sister is young and she probably didn’t realize it was your boyfriend…But like I said, you don’t really want a guy like that around…”

“Listen here you walmart knock off barbie,” Kokona pointed a sharp nail at you making your lips part a little in surprise at just how aggressive she was, “I don’t give a fuck. I don’t have the time or patience, here of all places. I’m sure you understand right?” She offered a gritty smile, “So tell that bitchy little sister of yours to stay out of my sight if she doesn’t want her hair ripped out.” 

Pressing your tongue to your cheek you looked away for a second before down at your drink...Well, she asked for it. 

You without a second thought held the drink up before splashing it all over her, “Say what you want about me I don’t give a fuck,” You stepped closer to her as you offered a gritty smile of your own, “But don’t ever say anything about my sister. I’m sure I’ll see you later.” You waved a hand as you turned around, walking back to the table where Akari, Ryu and Hiroko looked like they were all preparing to duck for cover at the show Kokona had put on for them unknowingly.

Setting the glass down at the table you collapsed in your chair as you whined, “Why are women so unfriendly here!?” 

Hiroko snorted as she shrugged, obviously not bugged like you were about it, “In this world it’s either kill or be killed, a lot of people don’t have time for niceties anymore. You’ll get used to it. Besides, Kokona is just a bitch to everyone. Don’t take it so personal.” She shrugged, “While you and Nanami were getting chased down we were talking…” 

You frowned as you looked up at all three of them as Akari smacked the table, “We should all go out for a game tonight! I know! I know, counterproductive especially with our visa’s stocked for the next few days but I think it’d be fun!” 

“Fun!?” The three of them paused as you sat up in your seat, looking at them all like they were insane because they obviously had to be, “Fun!?” You repeated again with even more emphasis, “Guys…! You- you could die!” 

“We could die just trying to breath here,” Hiroko scoffed as she shrugged, nonpulsed at your reaction as she picked her nails, ‘Besides you don’t have to go, I get it. We were all like this when we were new too. But I figured we’d make a good team logically. My speciality is diamond, Ryu’s is clubs and we just found out Akari is spades. And we have you, our wild card to figure out what you’re good at. It’s unlikely we’d die. By statistics at least.” 

You rubbed your neck, feeling a little more at ease with Hiroko’s rationality as you mumbled, “Well what about Nanami…?” Your eyes washed over the crowd, finally spotting your sister against the wall sipping something trying to act like there weren't three guys after her. 

“I doubt you’d want her to go?” Hiroko raised her brows, “Besides she still has three days left on her visa, she’ll be fine. Again, I’m not gonna pressure you into going, if all you’re gonna do is panic you probably will get lynched.” 

Her words made you puff your chest a little as you looked back to Nanami before back to the table, well...if they all had a strong suit then why not? “Alright, I’m in!” Who knows when you’d get the opportunity again to get more days on your visa in a considerably safe group. 

“I get it you’re like a walking model but seriously?” Hiroko leaned against the bathroom wall as she sighed picking at her nails, “You weren’t even in a full bikini.” 

“This has nothing to do with vanity and everything to do with comfort!” You called back, pulling up the loose sweatpants, “I’m not going to possibly go into a game that makes me run while wearing swimwear, I don’t hate myself that much!” You pulled the loose t-shirt over your head before pulling out the maroon jacket as you walked out, stuffing your swim attire in the bag. You had been at the venue for the past five minutes now, having not crossed the threshold but you still have time before it closed. 

“How many people have showed up?” You asked as you stood next to Hiroko who dropped her hand as she looked at you rolling her eyes as she sighed, standing up as you both walked to where Akari and Ryu were discussing the possibilities of what the game would be tonight. 

“Eh, like four? Maybe? I think that guy you know is in there.” Hiroko shrugged casually, “Looks like a good setup for a spades game, they typically have a bigger group number.” 

“What?” Your brows furrowed, what guy? Your mind drew a blank briefly as Ryu stretched out with a nod.

“Well if we’re all ready to go then let's head inside it’s almost six.” Ryu nodded once more as everyone followed behind him, you tossed your bag against the wall, it’s not like you had to be worried about anyone stealing in this climate. Your heartbeat picked up as you crossed the threshold. 

Noticing indeed four other people here before your lips parted and your face screwed into irritation, “Really!?” You muttered under your breath, immediately turning away from the familiar white hood as you stubbornly crossed your arms, “Hiroko why didn’t you say it was him!?” You hissed a whisper to her. 

Hiroko looked between you and Chishiya who was on his phone, earbuds in and ignoring the outside world before she tried to hold a laugh, “Did you two fuck or something?” You immediately flailed at her words making both her and Akari start laughing at both your misery and anger as you glared at her in unappreciation. 

“You think i’d fuck someone like him!?” You hissed out, “No, he's a total jerk! I…! Why can’t I go anywhere without him showing up!” You groaned as you crossed your arms, “Whatever, maybe he’ll get his guts ripped out tonight.” 

“Ouch, that’s a little harsh.” Ryu frowned, innocent as ever as he held his hands together, before offering a cute smile, “I’m sure he’ll come around, we’re all a part of the beach after all.” You sourly crossed your arms as you looked at the clock, striking six just in time for you to get tonight started with whatever death trap awaited.” 

Somehow, you doubt Chishiya held any loyalty to any of you at all just because you all slept in the same hotel…

The TV on the wall lit up as everyone's attention turned to it, obviously nobody was new here tonight as no one spoke to each other.

Game

Difficulty: 3♡ 

“A heart's game?” Ryu mumbled, his brows furrowed as he looked between you all as you gave a little shrug, your face twisted in concern as you wrapped your arms around yourself, “Well at least it’s a low difficulty! I’m sure it won’t be too hard to solve!” 

“The game you will be participating in is Blind Man's Bluff. Everyone will be required to wear a blindfold for one minute where the tagger will pass their tag off,” The screen depicted a faceless man passing quite literally a name tag off to one sitting down “Tags pertain to who is a player and who is the tagger. You will have twenty minutes to complete the game. It’s a Game ‘Clear’ if the tagger is discovered before the end of the last round, it’s a Game Over for the players if the tagger remains undiscovered.” 

Rules:

After each tagging sequence players will remain seated to take off their blindfold and find out if they have been selected as the tagger.

Blindfolds must be worn and kept on for the whole minute during the tagging sequence or it’s a Game Over.

Violence against other players is strictly prohibited and will result in a Game Over.

Players must remain seated for the whole time period of the tagging sequence or it’s a Game Over.

Game Clear conditions: If the players find out who the tagger is before the time runs out or it’s a Game Over for all players.

Tension had risen in the air a little as you felt your throat become dry, everyone immediately looked at each other somewhat suspiciously as the doors opened to the school gym, it was dark and empty outside of eleven chairs lined in a circle, all backs facing each other. 

“It could be worse.” Hiroko whispered to you as everyone grabbed a blindfold off the table that stood off in the distance, “As long as we just keep passing the tagger off to someone else we should be fine.” 

“Unless one of us gets picked by the end?” You quirked a brow as you rubbed the back of your neck, chances of that happening was one in ten but still, “I don’t like those odds Hiroko.” 

Hiroko only snorted as you both walked up, grabbing a blindfold as your eyes darted to the tags that laid out. Your brows furrowed at the stuffed bear with a blindfold on, his name tag ‘Rikku’ that took up his whole stomach, grabbing a tag as you turned back to face Hiroko.

“All we have to do is get a confession out of the tagger, it can’t be that hard.” Hiroko shrugged as she grabbed her blindfold as you puffed a breath of air, you hadn’t known her for long and despite knowing she was a lawyer before all of this...it was just still hard to imagine unless she was pressuring. Not exactly your method of going about stuff like this. 

Walking to a chair towards the left side of the room you sat down, crossing your legs as you looked up at the two clocks, one at twenty minutes that began ticking away and another holding at one minute. 

Looking towards your left your gaze immediately snapped back forward as your lips curled a little at the insufferable sight of blonde hair who made no effort to try and speak to you. 

Was he just sitting here purposely to annoy you? Because if you got tagger you would most definitely put it on him next. 

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.” 

Putting on your blindfold you tied it in a loose knot as you relaxed back into your chair, not being the tagger was perhaps the boring part of this game, the whole minute passed by and you briefly felt something press against your blindfold before it left. 

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now.” Taking off your blindfold you flipped it over only to find the tag player stuck on it, attached magnetically as you pulled it off, proceeding to wait the ten seconds before the scoreboard went off and everyone stood up. 

“Maybe we should start easy and just show who has a name tag?” Ryu coughed a little as he scuffed his shoe against the ground, rubbing his neck as he frowned, everyone, as if it was possible, became all the more tense. 

You looked around at all the blindfolds that were being held, “I don’t think that will work, we've most likely all been provided a nametag, the only odd man out is the one with tagger. But they’ve most likely hidden it. All we can do is just take a guess of who it could be.” 

Nobody spoke for a moment making Hiroko heave a sigh as she cracked her neck, “Alright I’ll do it, I’m used to this in court. What about you!” She suddenly pointed to a shorter girl who had been fiddling with her skirt, suddenly jumping at the accusation. 

“What!? I’m- I’m not the tagger!” She squeaked out, nervousness suddenly on her expression and many of the wolves of the group were definitely preying on her right now as Hiroko puffed a breath crossing her arms. 

“Then why do you look so nervous?” She raised an accusing brow, making you shift in your spot, crossing your arms, you couldn’t agree with Hiroko’s approach to this that was just stoking fire to an already stressful atmosphere where everyone was quickly beginning to pin the blame on each other. 

You could only stand there and watch as everyone began to argue as you pinched the bridge of your nose, “We’re never gonna get anything solved if we go about it like this.” You muttered to yourself as you sighed.

“If you’re that confident in doing better then you should assert yourself more.” 

You turned to Chishiya who was also standing not quite close enough for you to say he was next to you, but close enough. Your eyes squinted into a glare as you spoke, “Right and how do I know you’re not the tagger?” 

“Because I would’ve tagged you next if I was.” Chishiya shrugged casually making you clench your fists as you let out a noise of irritation, you hated that…! Annoying smirk of his! Despite not knowing him for long you could get the idea he obviously got off on annoying you and it only fueled your irritation that much more. 

“The feelings are mutual, stranger.” You hissed as you crossed your arms, “And I’ll have you know I am not going to insert myself into...that!” You waved your hand at the sight of two of the men now shouting at each other, the taller one immediately grabbing the other by the shirt, “Because at that point you’ll just be accused with any sort of logic.” 

You puffed a breath as you wrapped your jacket around yourself, “And besides, this chaos is a great scapegoat for the real tagger to just sit back and watch everyone pick each other off-” You paused as you turned to Chishiya as you silently berated yourself, why were you even rambling to this guy!? He was a total jerk and you were not about to let go of this morning where you were only trying to help, “Why are you even talking to me? Didn’t you want us to...what? Stay strangers?” 

“I’m...not talking to you?” He raised his brows, his lips quirking into an infuriating half smile as if he had a point making your lips pucker together and your jaw clench in effort to try and keep your obvious anger to a minimum, “It’s not my fault you won’t shut up.” He had the audacity to shrug. 

You couldn’t help but stomp your foot as you glared at him, “You know what!? I get the feeling if you didn’t care you would’ve gone and sulked in the corner the whole game. In fact, I bet you like listening to me ramble. After all the whole day and a half I’ve known you that's all you do other than instigate unnecessary fights!” 

Chishiya’s gaze narrowed a little and you watched his body coil a little away from you at your words, “In what world would you think I care to listen to you?” His lips twitched into cruel smirk as he spoke, “Besides your irrational anger and blabbering, you don’t have an ounce of sense or logic in your body. You're probably best suited for hearts because all you do is spill emotion.” 

“That is not what hearts are about!” You retaliated as you threw your hands even more frustrated, “Why are you so defensive the moment I say anything in relation to you possibly not being some emotionless humanoid!? I get it,” You flailed your arms as you spoke louder, “I was a total dick for comparing you to a sociopath! Okay? I can admit that, and usually I can understand where people are coming from but- but you!? I genuinely don’t get you! At all! One moment you wanna pretend like everything's cool between us and then the next you wanna act like a total asshole! And that’s not cool!” 

Chishiya had looked away from you heaving a loud sigh making you stomp your foot again, here you were exerting all of your emotion into him and he really…! 

Your fists curling only to realize just how silent it was...you turned to look at the crowd of people who all had stopped fighting and...Oh...you felt your face become hot as you wrapped your arms around yourself in embarrassment...Were you really that loud…

“If you and your boyfriend are done arguing we have more important things to solve!” A man pointed a finger at you with a hiss making you curl away, your ears burning at his words as you snapped back, “He is not my boyfriend! Besides you aren’t getting anything done just yelling at each other,” You turned away from Chishiya now unable to even look him in the eyes at the moment, “The real question is who has been silent up until now? The tagger would obviously sit back and watch because why would they insert themselves when you’re doing a great job at killing time.” 

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.” 

Clenching your jaw you sat in your chair as everyone proceeded to do the same, it was now silent as you put on your blindfold, now angry and not even at the game. You wasted your whole time, not even arguing with Chishiya which somehow made you feel even more angry. 

It was like talking to a wall.

Crossing your legs you curled up against yourself, mad just...Why were you even mad? You shouldn’t be letting someone like this get under your skin. You briefly wondered why it bothered you so much. Come to think of it, you supposed it was for the exact reason you said. 

Chishiya, puzzled you to no end and you had never experienced that with someone, ever. You couldn’t figure out what he was thinking nor find an understanding as to why he was so back and forth with you. Maybe it was your misinterpretation? But...You shook your head a little despite your gaze darkened from the blindfold, it wasn’t that. 

It was obvious, for whatever reason, he was holding himself back, From what? You didn’t know, but for now…

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now.” 

Pulling off your blindfold you looked at it, the same tag remaining of Player on it. You needed to focus on finding out who the tagger was, really this was like a game of hot potato, chances of the tagger getting killed was just as high as all the players dying, and who would want to take that chance? 

Maybe some, you stood up after the scoreboard went off and the original clock resumed as you turned around facing everyone to judge their reactions, Hiroko and Ryu were the same and so was Akari to your knowledge. Your eyes briefly flickered to Chishiya who had remained seated, his hands in his pockets, he also...You doubted yourself briefly, you couldn’t rule him out. 

“Who here wasn’t talking last round?” You asked, looking around at everyone, who obviously everyone immediately began speaking much to your frustration, you couldn’t expect someone to answer honestly which only meant...Puffing a breath, “Alright, how about this, let’s all trace a conversation with one person we talked too last round.” 

...You’d just have to manipulate the tagger into confessing

First you’d need to trace who was absolutely not the tagger and narrow it from there, “I’ll go first as an example since everyone seemed to hear last round,” You looked away briefly, a somewhat awkward smile on your lips, “I was talking to Chishiya about why he’s such an asshole. You don’t need his confirmation given everyone saw it, but typically you’d need someone to vouch for you in order to confirm you were talking. Now to those that didn’t talk, it doesn’t make them guilty, just more suspect.” 

“Me and Ryu were talking to each other about who the possible tagger was.” Hiroko spoke up, pulling a hand around Ryu’s waist who looked a little flush as he nodded, semi shy as you nodded yourself. That answer wasn’t too surprising. 

“Well I was talkin’ to this fine gentleman here about how I wasn’t the tagger.” Akari waved a hand to the guy beside her, who still leered but nodded in confirmation which cleared the both of them. You had hoped...this would keep civil, but as everyone went around, there was bound to be some who just genuinely didn’t remember because they were arguing with everyone, and those who were lying…

Which meant by this deduction things were narrowed down, for most people the chance of being found out you were the tagger is too stressful to be worth possibly being the only one to live in the end, thus handing it off, which meant there was...what? One in third chance each round the tagger was someone new? There were a few people you had to suspect that could have held the tagger without giving it up. 

The guy towards the middle who was very strangely calm during all of this with very empty looking eyes, and then there was the other man more towards you left who had been calmly de-escalating the situation but you didn’t miss the undertones of manipulation. It was one in third chance they could be holding it. Which meant you’d need to make sure they weren’t.

Walking over you stood more near Hiroko and Ryu as you watched two guys begin arguing again, “Every time I think we’ve made progress, it always ends up getting disturbed.” 

“Well that is the way of the world.” You kept a straight expression at the man who offered a smile that looked so unnatural to his empty eyes, you couldn’t help but feel a bit creeped out at how...insanely calm he was. You could get a sense of tension from at least Chishiya, granted it was most likely from you. 

“I’m Y/n,” You introduced, “Sense we should all be working together I figured it’d be best we at least learn each other's names.” You offered a sweet smile as you wrapped your jacket around yourself in effort to try and look unsuspecting. 

“I see how much anger you have inside you know? It’s quite obvious, from the way you lash out at others when you don’t get the response you want to the way you feel entitled to everyone's feelings, that’s not good for your health you know?” Your lips parted a little at his words, not even offended because...while he was right in some ways...he was very wrong in others, “But I understand your nature is tedious and complex, for all we not the same way?” Okay...this guy was definitely a psychopath, “I’m Sunato Banda, pleased to meet you.” He offered another smile. 

Empty eyes, disturbingly calm demeanor, even with your lives on the line he wasn’t disturbed at all, it wasn’t that he didn’t care. He just wasn’t affected, at all, like this could be a walk in the park for him. 

Psychopath, definitely. 

You’d need to be careful if tagger got in his possession otherwise he’d lie straight through his teeth and he’d never blink twice about it and you and everyone else would be unsuspecting about it.

“Well, us humans are very complex,” You nodded offering yet another smile making effort to look almost starstruck at his very poor deduction skills, again, somewhat correct, otherwise wrong. Afterall, how could someone who feels no remorse, truly understand the complexity of human nature? “Do you by any chance know who the tagger would be?” 

You’d need to make yourself look weak, pliable, if you were to get any use out of this guy, all he knew was how to do was take advantage of people, obviously, Banda offered a sly smile as he looked out over the room, his eyes washing over everyone, “Him,” He pointed a finger, “He keeps adjusting his coat as if he has something placed in there that’s uncomfortable.” 

You followed his line of sight to what looked like a business man in a suit and bowler hat, he did in fact, look quite nervous, “And why not call him out?” You asked, tilting your head exaggerated as you brimmed with curiosity. 

Banda turned to face you, a bright smile on his face as he closed his eyes, “Well I personally hope he’ll tag me next, I quite enjoy seeing a large build up in bodies.” 

..Oh...oh wow…

You gave a small nod, forcing a smile as you held yourself before excusing yourself from him, well, at least it definitely wasn’t him for now. Otherwise you’d be in trouble right now. And now you had a prime suspect. Some could overthink that and argue that perhaps he was lying just to get you off his trail. But personally? There was no way it’d be him, he wouldn’t do something like that. You got the feeling Banda, was a simple man. 

You turned to find the two guys from before who were tussling suddenly growl, one throwing a punch and before he could even fully hit the guy a deep red laser broke through the ceiling, you were frozen for a half a second at the sight of it shooting through the top of his head. Everyone was quiet as they looked down at the sight of a now dead body. 

Right...that was a rule, violence was prohibited. 

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.” 

You scurried back to your seat, sitting down as you pulled up your blindfold, “It’s that guy wearing the dumb bowler hat.” Your head looked towards you left despite not being able to see, Chishiya’s voice was quiet as he spoke, “While you were busy wasting time, I watched the real tagger- that school girl place it in his back pocket.” 

“The tagger can do that during the round?” You whispered back perplexed at the idea, how could you have missed that? Unless...she placed it right as you approached Banda? Thus him seeing the man realize he had been tagged and now nervously adjusting himself?

“There aren't any rules stating otherwise, makes it fair game.” Chishiya replied, he immediately quieted at the sound of footsteps tapping on the floor, they were definitely on your side of the ring. Your breath hitched a little at feeling something press against your forehead. Oh shit before the sound of footsteps walked away. 

“We just need to watch for him next round.” Chishiya spoke once more as you leaned back in your seat, trying to find a reason for why you just felt what you did. 

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now. Final round will be next round” 

You hurriedly took yours off as you flipped it over looking down at it, 

Tagger

Motherfucker. 

You quickly grabbed it off, at first trying to push it into your pocket only to realize they were fake. God you hated women’s clothing, your eyes shot to the clock that only had five seconds left, with nowhere to put it you shoved it down your bra as you collected yourself. Okay you...you could make this work. 

But now you were presented with a plethora of options. You honestly didn’t think it would be passed off to you. But now...you...you could keep it...You stood up as the scoreboard went off, but...Everyone else would die. Or...you could confess and you’d die. These options were not great. Next round was the last round, so if you gave it up...you’d be reassuring someone’s victory. 

You stood next to Chishiya as his eyes kept with the man from before with the bowler hat, “He might have gotten it passed back to him.” His eyes narrowed a little onto the guy. 

Do you find a way to discreetly tell him? Or would that also count as a confession…? It wouldn’t be a confession if you made yourself suspect. But...you couldn’t honestly trust Chishiya, not after his unstable display of distrust in you. 

“He could be,” You replied, leaning in a little as you watched him, he appeared relieved once more, he was the one freaked out about this after all...you felt a brief wave of guilt inside you at what your mind had suddenly come up with. 

With Chishiya’s suspect still on the man, all you needed to do was plant it back on him and pressure a confession out of him next round. 

You were very much going to hell after this. 

“He was the one that started accusing last round too and made someone die,” You hummed as you stuffed your hands in your pocket, “That guy also thought it was him. He’s definitely good at reading people,” You thought back to the way he tried to read you, which was somewhat accurate, but people like you and him, you couldn’t always accurately read each other. Except you weren’t insane like him, “At this point we don’t have much to lose.” 

You could see the cogs turning in Chishiya’s head as he stared menacingly at the man who looked at him and jolted a little at such an intense stare, “If I were the tagger by this point,” You were treading on very thin ice at the moment, “I’d keep it just for myself, instead passing it off. He’s gone this far without anyone really pressuring him. It’d be the smartest move by now.” 

“Then we’ll settle on him.” Chishiya replied, his gaze cold as he glared down at the man who mindlessly fixed his tie, trying to look cool despite being intimidated, clearly. He had a weak mentality, if you couldn’t break him next round, Chishiya most definitely would. 

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.” 

You supposed he was good for something even when you couldn’t trust him. 

Sitting down in your chair you put your blindfold on and waited a second before taking it back off, standing back up as you carefully stepped as quietly as you could, pulling the Tagger out of your bra before you walked over to the man who had just tagged you before pressing it against his blindfold, you watched his lips quiver as he let out a quiet, “Please…!” 

Your expression went cold as you turned around, glancing at the clock before you walked away and sat back down in your chair, putting your blindfold back on as you waited for the announcer once more. 

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now. Final round.” 

You took the blindfold off, looking down feeling content at the Player tag as you stood up along with Chishiya who’s eyes went between you and the man before he pushed his hands back into his pockets, “If you’re all done pointing fingers and wasting time,” His gaze became a little more cool as he spoke, “Then we should go ahead and show who the real tagger is.” 

Both you and Chishiya glanced at the man who was now looking insanely nervous, sweat dripping down his neck and if this wasn’t life or death, you would’ve felt a little bad...Some parts of you still did, but it was either all of you or just him. 

“He does look pretty nervous.” Hiroko narrowed her eyes on him and from this moment forward you knew it was game over for him, quite literally. With all three of you there was no way he’d survive, crossing your arms you lifted your chin a little, “Say, weren’t you the one who got really defensive when the finger got pointed at you last round?” 

“I’m…!” He flailed a little, wiping his brow with his hand as he suddenly pointed an accusing finger at you, “It’s her you want! She’s a manipulative bitch!” You pressed your hand against your chest in fake hurt as you raised your brows, “She’s the one pitting everyone against me when she’s really the tagger. She’s going to leave you all to die.” 

The majority of eyes fled to you as you shrugged, “Why would I do that when I could just give it to you?” You gave a wickedly sweet smile as you giggled a little, “And watch it all go down. I mean, you must be agreeing now?” You raised your brows as you goaded, “About being the tagger?” 

“I…!” He struggled with his words, now glaring at you as you raised your brows once more as you shook your head, “I…! Now you’re just doing this on purpose! Trying to get into everyone's head and make everyone die! Can’t- can’t you see what she’s doing!” He cried out as he backed away from everyone. 

“I dunno’ you seem pretty guilty to me.” Akari shrugged as she poked her tongue into her cheek, not looking the least bit remorseful for the guy as she leaned her weight onto one side. 

“I get it,” You shrugged as you laughed a little, “You’re probably that kinda guy who’s never really stood up for himself, you probably got bullied as a kid and let yourself get run over by people all the time, even now, and now in desperation you attempt to hold your own and yet...” You tilted your head with a frown as you mocked, “You still can’t do anything right. I guess that goes to show, that people like you just never have a spine. If you can’t assert yourself now with your life on the line, you might as well die now. Because let’s face it, people like you only end in two ways, either spineless pathetic existence or you become the abuser out of a sick need to regain what you lost as a kid.” 

Reverse psychology, worked in the most simplistic ways. 

That seemed to get him to snap, you watched his eyes dilate and pure unfurled rage cross his expression as he shrieked, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You know nothing about my life! You know nothing about me! And because I’m the tagger I’ll get to watch all you pathetic people die! Who’s in control now!?” 

It’s a shame he couldn’t take control of his life in any other circumstance. 

Everyone paused and even he himself paused at the realization, his eyes welled with tears that made something deep in your heart lurch, your eyes squinting a little as your expression wilted a little as the red laser broke through the roof shooting him straight through the top of his head. His body crumpling to the ground. 

‘Game Cleared’

Everyone was still for a moment before you looked down at the blindfold and then to your hands, the memory hazy yet the memory of red staining them still so clear as you felt ringing in your ears and your vision blur for a moment as you let the fabric slip through your fingers. Running a hand through your hair you wrapped your arms around your jacket as you walked past the body, briefly looking at the once timid man who obviously let others run his life.

“Sorry.” You whispered quietly as you stepped over the corpse, “Come on, let’s go. I don’t wanna stay around here.” You looked towards the other three who nodded, also looking semi apprehensive as well. 

Now that the moment was over, the cruel reality was back to remind you that you just gaslit someone into admitting their own suicide. It was hard to not feel innately disgusted with yourself despite your reasoning that you and all of your friends would’ve died if you had. Still, what you did was okay. You were supposed to help people like him, not encourage them to snap. 

If you didn’t feel conflicted before you certainly felt conflicted now, looking at the register you ignored the visa print as you grabbed the playing card off the table. 

And as if mocking, this was only a three of hearts. You couldn’t imagine what higher level games looked like with this. You’d definitely need to be careful in the future, “Y/n! Come on, let’s go!” You looked behind at Hiroko nodding towards the exit. 

“You guys go on, I’ll catch up later.” You looked down at the card again, Hiroko frowned at your figure, wanting to say something but she understood, the first few days of the Borderlands were never easy. With that, she left. Besides you needed to get changed before you headed for the beach again. 

Walking out of the exit you grabbed your bag that was, just as you anticipated, still against the wall, leaning down you opened it up as you began digging through to try and find your bathing suit top. Stuffing the card inside you furrowed your brows, why did the electricity have to go out so soon? 

“You could’ve kept the tagger and won but you didn’t. Why?” 

You paused your search at the sound of Chishiya’s voice, sounding like he was- not interrogating you but definitely investigating. You resumed once more as you shrugged, “I could’ve.” You agreed, and it did cross your mind after all, “I thought about it,” You admitted right after as you pulled out the swimsuit top, “But maybe to some degree you were right,” You stood up as you turned to face him, “I am spilling emotion constantly. And if there was a chance I could’ve saved all of us in turn for one? It didn’t seem like that big of a reach to do really…” You looked away from him as you grabbed your neck, feeling a bit sheepish, “It was by chance you had spotted him before and it was by luck that I was given tagger for the last round. I knew all you needed was just mutual confirmation in your assessment before initiating the end.” 

You sighed as you looked down at the elastic material in your hand as you frowned, “For what it’s worth, I would’ve probably done it to him regardless of whether he had been the tagger or not. It doesn’t take much to break the weakest link. That’s probably the saddest part to be honest.” 

You grabbed your backpack off the ground as you looked up at Chishiya before back towards the entrance where others slowly began to filter out, “I doubt he even realized the trap I set him up for,” You smiled wryly as you shook your head, “People are so easy to mislead, I forget sometimes, the power that can hold.” 

You turned around, intending to go change, “What were you before all of this?” You looked back at Chishiya, his gaze cool as ever and his eyes scanning over you as if in search for an answer that didn’t exist. Briefly your heart jumped in nervousness, did you dare tell the truth? 

Laughing you let out a sigh what was the use in hiding in this world? There were no laws and honestly, who could judge you? “I was a prostitute.” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful as you awkwardly rubbed your neck, you could tell that was not what Chishiya had been expecting you to say.

 “Oh…!” Your lips parted suddenly feeling even more stupid at the realization that was not what he meant by his question, “You...You probably meant what I’m majoring in...sorry. Uh-” You gave him an apologetic smile that was more out of your sake of humiliation as assuming. Clearing your throat you turned back over your shoulder as you gave him one last look, holding up the three of hearts as you answered, “I’m a major in psychology ♡ ” 

[storiesofsvu]

🤦🏻👀🪡

a fic/chapter you're embarrassed about having written?

oh damn. I can't remember the title... Let me hear you? maybe? it was an Antonio Dawson x reader one that when I was reposting from the old blog I read it and cringed so hard it was literal garbage so i deleted it and didn't repost LOL. I also don't like the No Strings series but y'all love it so it remains on here LOL.

what's an idea you had for a fic that you never did anything with?

hmm... there's been a few, and tbh some of them *might* still get written. but the main one i'm still on the fence about is a Keane x reader, MEGA angsty. yn was working with Keane while she was in the WH when everything in s7 with her being forced out happens, but in this situation, keane DOES lose the presidency. yn goes to her the last night to give her contact info all "if you ever need anything, i'm more than ready to help. i put in my resignation..." keane's lost literally everything at this point, reaches out, they start as friends and obvi fall in love. keane finally feels like she has control of her life again when yn comes home from the dr with not great news and the requirement to run some more tests. she thinks she's in the clear at first, and then (another reason i didn't want to write it was the "too real" part of upcoming...) the pandemic hits so she skips a follow up appt, or they keep getting pushed for not being urgent, and when she finally does get back to the dr things are looking bleak. keane doesn't know how to handle it since she was once the most powerful person in the country and now she can't do anything to help the love of her life.

so...yeah... if i ever feel like making myself ugly sob for months at a time maybe i'll write it but like, its a bit too dark even for me LOL

the scene you worked the hardest on in any fic?

hmmm.... tbh ANY threesome takes a lot of work and figuring out logistics, do body's bend this way? would his hand be able to reach that part of her in that position? whose hands are where? kinda thing.

ANY of the debate scenes in Classified Affairs, even when i was lifting dialogue from the show.

And like, any courtroom scene, or ones that delve deep into case work and solving crimes. I tend to stay away from both in fics unless they're absolutely needed cause there's so much research to go into them. It's not a specific scene but the couple of chapters of SSS where they're taking down Gallagher I looked up so many different laws, the statute of limitations on multiple crimes, jail terms, how many years they would all land up to, what they're punishable by, etc