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sitepathos · 22 hours

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From Gold to Mold

Chapter 1: The Change

“Happy birthday, to you,” your teacher, Mrs. Palmer, and classmates finish singing to you.

“Thank you, everyone,” you giggle, happy that everyone did something special for your birthday in the middle of class.

You’re now six-years-old and your Momma’s promised to take you to Little Luigi’s Pizza Place after school, where you’ll get to open your presents from her, as well as eat all the pizza you want and have a cookie pizza for free! You begged her to let you stay home, but she laughed and said that she had to meet her publisher for her upcoming book, but she promised that after she was done, she’d come check you out and the two of you would go celebrate your birthday.

You look up at the clock (good thing it’s digital, because you haven’t learned to read the old clocks yet!) and see that it’s almost time for lunch.

“Come on, Momma,” you mutter to yourself. “Get here, already.”

Seriously, you didn’t plan to eat lunch, so you didn’t bother packing lunch today!

Just then, the intercom above the door chimes.

“Mrs. Palmer,” the school secretary asks.

“Yes?”

“Can you please send Y/N Gould to the office, please? There’s someone here to see him.”

“Yes,” you cheer, making a few in the class laugh.

“Of course,” she responds before the device clicks off.

You grab your backpack and toss it over your back before rushing towards the door.

“Bye, Y/N,” one classmate says as you pass her.

“Happy birthday,” another says as you near the door.

“Enjoy your birthday, Y/N,” Mrs. Palmer says, her usual bright smile on her face. “We’ll see you tomorrow. Remember to have your worksheet done.”

And with that, you leave the room and skip down the hall to the main office, happy that your school is small so you don’t have to walk far. As you do, all you can think about is all the pizza you’re about to eat! And the chocolate chip cookie pizza that you get after that! And don’t forget about the presents! Maybe you’ll get the new Pokémon Platinum game for your DS, or a new stuffed animal, or maybe a new movie!

The suspense is practically tearing you apart and you enter the office, ready to greet your Momma when you see… Sheriff Foley. And he looks… sad. You look to the secretary, who’s standing behind him, and she has the same sad look.

“Y/N,” he says.

“Sheriff Foley,” you say, looking around to find Momma, but not finding her. “What’s wrong? Where’s Momma?”

“Son,” he says as the secretary begins to cry a bit. “I have some bad news.”

You feel a weird feeling in your stomach, like when you eat a bunch of ice cream and get sick, but this feeling is worse than that.

“What?”

“It’s about your momma. I got a call from the police in Vegas and they said there had been a car accident. Some drunk fool leaving a casino hit your mother’s car.”

You feel your heart stop at the words “hit” and “mother.”

“Is she ok,” you manage to say. “She’s at the hospital, right?”

The secretary’s crying becomes louder.

“I’m sorry, son,” he says, a tear falling from his eye. “He was going too fast when he hit her. She’s gone.”

“Gone? Like missing?” Now, you’re crying. “Why can’t they find her?”

“No, gone as in she’s no longer with us.”

“Like… she’s gone to heaven,” you whisper.

He nods and it’s then you feel your entire world collapse. You remember what Momma said about going to heaven when you saw a squirrel asleep on the side of the road. She’d said that he had gone to heaven after falling asleep and that he wouldn’t be waking up again. That he’d always be there.

“No,” you cry, tears and snot falling from your face. “No, she can’t be in heaven! She said she’d be here!”

Sheriff Foley takes you into his arms as you cry.

The next few days go by in a blur. You stay with Sheriff Foley and his wife until the funeral. Unfortunately, the accident was so bad that the casket had to stay closed, so you weren’t able to see her one last time before she’s put in her grave. The whole town of Goodsprings is there; she was an author writing best-selling romance novels set during the Age of Sail and a pillar of the community, so everyone wanted to be there to say their final goodbyes to her and their condolences to you.

You said nothing during the whole thing. You hadn’t said anything since Sheriff Foley told you that Momma had gone to heaven and that she wouldn’t be back. The only noise to leave you is the sound of crying.

“Y/N,” he says as you watch the grave be filled with dirt. “When we leave, we’ll have to go by your house. You need to pack anything you need.”

“Why,” you ask, your voice sore from crying for days.

“Because a man is waiting there for you and when you have everything you need, he’ll take you to McCarran Airport. From there, you’ll go to Gotham City in New Jersey.”

You couldn’t believe your ears, first you lose Momma and now you’re losing your home?

“Why do I have to leave,” you say, tears streaming down your face.

“Because the county did some checking and found your father through a DNA test.”

You freeze at that. Your Daddy?

“Momma, do I have a Daddy,” you asked her once.

“You do, baby, but he doesn’t know about you,” she answered. “We met years ago, back when Momma was young and dumb. When I found out I was having you, I couldn’t find him. That’s when I realized I had to act right.” She rubbed her hand through your hair. “It’s thanks to you that I’m not like that anymore.”

That conversation goes through your head as you ride back to your house. You’re actually going to meet your Daddy? When you pull up to your house you see a fancy car sitting in the driveway and an elderly man in a suit standing next to it, watching you as you get out.

“I’m sorry, who’re you,” Sheriff Foley asks.

“Alfred Pennyworth,” the man says, bowing a little. “Butler to the Wayne Family. I apologize, Sheriff, but I’m afraid Master Bruce was unable to get away. Urgent business at Wayne Enterprises demanded his attention.”

“More urgent than his son?”

You can see the butler slightly flinch at that, despite how good he tries to hide it.

“I understand your frustration. I expressed the same sentiments, but Master Bruce couldn’t be persuaded to leave the matter to Mr. Fox.” He looks down at you. “I trust this is young Master Y/N?”

You can’t help but duck behind the sheriff’s legs to hide from him.

“Yeah, this is him.”

“I’m glad to meet you, though I wish it was under more joyous circumstances. You have my most sincere condolences for your loss.”

“Thank you,” you say, looking down at the ground.

“Come on, son, let’s get all your stuff packed.”

The three of you spend the next hour packing all your toys and clothes into cardboard boxes. When asked about your bed, dresser, and other larger things, Alfred said a room had already been prepared for you with a king sized bed and a dresser with room for all your clothes and more.

“Should you require anything else, I will ensure Master Bruce provides it.”

“What will happen to the house,” you finally ask Sheriff Foley, afraid for what he would say.

“Your momma already paid off her house and her will said that everything that’s hers goes to you. For now, the county will care for it until you turn eighteen, which is when you can inherit it.”

Hearing that should’ve made you feel better, but it didn’t because you’d have to wait so long to come back and even then, Momma still wouldn’t be here. As the two adults packed up the last of the boxes in the fancy rental car, you slipped away into your Momma’s office at the back of the first story. You slide open the doors, expecting to see her at her desk, working on her latest story like you’d done so many times before, but this time, an empty room and silence greets you.

You enter her office and hop into the big revolving chair, her favorite perfume still lingering from the morning of your birthday. You look at the desk and find something that takes your breath away: her favorite gold ink pen. One day, you’d asked her why your last name was Gould and she’d told you that your family came from a long line of goldsmiths who once made jewelry and other small things for rich people. Momma’s Daddy still worked with metal, even after the family practice was shut down, and when she said she was going to become a writer, he made her a gold ink pen to bring her good luck. You pick it up, looking at the beautiful design, and begin to tear up.

She carried it everywhere she went, so seeing it here cements the fact that she’s not coming back. Maybe if she wasn’t in a big hurry that morning, she would’ve remembered to take it with her and the accident never would’ve happened. And she’d still be here with you.

“Y/N,” the Sheriff says as he enters the office. “We finished packing everything. Are you ready to go?”

You want to say no and refuse to leave, but you know that you can’t stay here. You quietly pocket the pen and follow him to the car, where Alfred waits for you.

“Alright, son, be good for Mr. Pennyworth here. Do what he says and be a good boy like your momma taught you.” He gives you a hug and you wish it would never end, because then you’d never have to leave your home. “You’ll be back before you know it, and your home will be here waiting for you.”

A with that, you get into the car with Mr. Pennyworth and begin the drive to the airport. You use the mirror to see your house one last time, seeing it get smaller and smaller until it’s out of sight.

“I know this is sudden after the loss of your mother, but I promise Master Bruce and I will do everything we can to make Wayne Manor a home for you.”

“What’s it like?”

“The manor? It’s a large estate with a long and storied history that dates back to the early days of Gotham. There’s plenty of rooms for you to explore.”

“And what about my Daddy? What’s he like?”

“Master Bruce is a skilled businessman and one of Gotham’s biggest socialites. He’s also the adoptive father of Masters Dick and Jason.”

“He already has kids? Would they be my brothers?”

You’d heard of several of your classmates having older and younger siblings and had thought about having a brother or a sister. What would it be like to carry around someone younger than you or be care for by someone older than you.

“Master Dick would be your older brother, but he’s now living at the manor right now. He’s off finding himself right now, but I have no doubt that he’ll be back one day.”

“What about Jason?”

Mr. Pennyworth frowns at your words and you feel afraid that you’ve said something wrong.

“Master Jason would be your older brother, as well, but he was taken from us. With any luck, he and your mother have met one another.”

Oh…

“When did he go to heaven?”

“He left us a few months ago, but it feels just like yesterday.”

And with that, the talk is over. You two arrive at the airport and after the butler returns the rental car, he guides you to the gate where a private jet awaits the two of you. You can’t help but be amazed that you’re riding in a private jet that looks so much better than the ones you’ve seen on tv. You sit in one of the seats and it’s way softer than your bed.

“Master Y/N, we’re getting ready for takeoff,” the butler says as he puts his seatbelt on. “Put your seatbelt on.”

You do as you’re told and before you know it, you feel the jet begin to move. You hurry to look out the window to see everything moving past before the jet begins to fly. You stare out the window, watching Nevada, the state you’ve called home, get smaller and smaller until you’re above the clouds, unable to see anything, even the massive buildings of the Strip, which could be seen for miles.

It’s then you realize that this is real, that you’re leaving everything you’ve ever known and won’t be back for years and tears begin to fall from your face. You’ve spent the last few days crying so much that you’d think that you’d think that you would run out of tears, but apparently not. Not wanting to disturb Mr. Pennyworth, you face the window and bite your lower lip to stop making noises.

Somehow the flight seemed to be both long lasting and not long enough, because eventually, you saw a city show up below you. You squint your eyes to get a better look through the smog and see many tall buildings, all of the having those scary stone creatures you saw on a movie once.

“Welcome to Gotham City, Master Y/N.”

A/N: I’m hoping to make this a series that sees somewhat regular updates, but don’t quote me on that. I’ve been getting back into Resident Evil and I look up Yandere Batfamily stuff on this site so much it’s not even funny. Sorry if the first chapter was so long, but I thought if the first chapter was long enough, people would forgive me if future chapters are a bit lacking. Also, this series is heavily influenced by several of my favorite users, like @acid-ixx , @gotham-daydreams , @luludeluluramblings , and @darkstaria . You should totally check them all out.

#yandere dc #yandere batfamily #dc x male reader #batfamily #yandere batfam #batman #yandere bruce wayne #yandere dick grayson #yandere jason todd #yandere tim drake #yandere cassandra cain #yandere stephanie brown #yandere alfred pennyworth #male reader #batfamily x male reader

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accio-victuuri · 3 days

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THE MOON REPRESENTS MY HEART 🌙 + Friday Madness

i just think that me freaking about gg singing this song and leaving after that is not right. this song deserves it’s own post and the importance of the Moon’s symbolism between them should be repeated. personally, i was surprised cause i cpn’d about a possible interpretation of showing off moon photos when they do it, then i thought of this song. now you have gege performing it. the universe has clowned me once again. and you have him as performer #8. Bo. are you kidding me? yes, this is a CCP signed-off event. the song must have been an approved piece to perform live but that doesn’t mean GG did not have a say in picking this track. as for him being the 8th one, a coincidence. destiny can’t help but relate them to each other. lol.

you can say that it’s perfect for the theme of mid-autumn festival and it’s a well loved song — yes, that’s right. but we’re all cpfs here who have a long history with 🌖 and GG finally singing it now seems like a “sign”.

this song’s relevance started with a fake rumor:

I would like to add that the moon should be the one that Wang laoshi watched a video of. After watching it, he said, "Do you believe me, I can also dance this for you?" The background music was "The Moon Represents My Heart" I think it should be posted by Xiao laoshi, but this happened a long time ago on the stage, but it should be related. I don’t know about choreography. I was busy with other things at that time. This is what I know.

THIS HITS DIFFERENT NOW. imagine yibo dancing to this. i will lose it. 🤯🤯🤯

and it doesn’t help that xz had a teaser video released by BRTV today:

send the moon to you // "I want to take a picture of the moon for you but it never comes out”

this is why we love fake rumors, one way or another, the similarities come up or parts of it come true.

then the matching photoshoot prop. also their studios posting 5 minutes apart. yes it makes sense for them to post in the same time span cause the content released around the same time too. but xzs is 20:40. 8:40. 8= Bo and 40 on the clock points to 8.

Seriously, XZ. come here. i just wanna talk. you are being so loud today sir. 🤡🤡🤡🤡

AS FOR THE PERFORMANCE ITSELF.

Outstanding. As expected of GG. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

There is something so soft and shy in the way he performed it. As if he is confessing to the person he loves how much he feels. This person knows — but not this way. Not this deep. This is him finally saying what his love is like.

youtube

He is also happy. This love makes him whole. It’s so nice to see him this way!

@rainbowsky already mentioned the way we are excited and crying because of it’s connection to Leslie Cheung which is the main thing in conversations. is this xz’s way of dedicating the song to the love of his life in public?

and the lyrics need no further interpretation, it’s such a sweet and simple song about one’s devotion.

so it’s not just xz singing this love song and us clowning. it’s years of clues and references — which now feels like a lead up to this “confession”. 💕

P.S: my main boxiao and moon post is obviously not updated for some time. so just search for “moon” on this blog for other references but y’all know tumblr will still not show everything.

P.P.S: i wanna bring back the moon landing watch. one of the strongest moon cpn out there that honestly feels like an urban legend now the way we never saw it again. lol. it was too loud they probably decided that wyb shouldn’t wear it again in public 😅😅😅😅

END.

#yizhan #bjyx #Youtube #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #I AM STRUGGLING THE CPN IS SO STRONG

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maybe-boys-do-love · 3 months

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His Man 3 producers just casually making their show as cruel as possible to their contestants 😐

#his man 3 #did I cry about this today? why yes. yes I did.#there’s a very big difference between creating a format that encourages natural situations in short amounts of time #and creating formats that manipulate contestants to feel confused and paranoid and helpless #and none of us were coming to his man for the latter #it also just hurts to see gay men who are already culturally and politically vulnerable #come onto a show for the chance to promote their business or whatever and maybe find connection #and be instead made more vulnerable #Taiwan did the opposite of this stuff with Boys Like Boys #using the format to show how gays can support one another despite the odds #just really upsetting :(#and so many of the contestants are actually sooo sweet and sincere and adorable too!

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alluralater · 7 months

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just finished moving around/reorganizing my entire bedroom. i have cried three times today but now i’m laying in bed, my room smells of roses, and i’m eating french bread. this was not the bipolar hot girl mania i was promised but damn if i don’t do it well

#i haven’t been sleeping well at all whatsoever for the past two weeks and it’s gotten to the point where my dreams are so vivid but not just #like ugh i can’t explain it on here because im not about to open a whole can of worms like that in my tags and be like revealing #family secrets.#essentially i am having normal dreams but they are horrendously vivid and of no real purpose.#i woke up fucking like completely upset this morning and then started crying #my roommate thinks it’s because i haven’t been sleeping + everything else going on #and like ya know what she’s PROBABLY right #but even still i just need my body to LISTEN TO ME and stop being all sensitive!!!#i legitimately almost texted the loml this long text today and thank fuck i didn’t because who knows where that would lead #but i’ve been having dreams about them too and it’s frustrating me. like the universe is trying beyond all measure to push us back together #and i just have to keep saying no. it’s like this test of morality except it never fucking ENDS and the consequence is actually pleasure and #relief beyond measure. like— to even just kiss them again? to hear them say my name again.#whenever we’re out at the same time i can feel them staring at me and i can see them in my peripherals watching me #just fucking forcing this love into me. the feeling of their hands on my body and all of their questions about how i’m doing #god i can feel all of it.#i nearly fucking threw up last time a few weeks ago when they kept watching me and i got so overloaded with emotions and my fucking stomach #wouldn’t stop turning. but anyways right like— i cannot be with them and i don’t want to be. like yes im still attracted to them and yes i #feel all of these feelings but it stops me dead in my tracks when i remember what they said and the things they did.#i am not the woman who bends my convictions because i love someone. i can’t be that person. i won’t be that person. not for anyone and #not for them. but i see them in my dreams anyways and it is all too real and too present. it’s hardly ever the present so why. why why why?#it makes me terrified thinking that i will one of these nights just say yes and they’ll kiss me and everything that means anything in myself #will virtually mean nothing. like i won’t be a good person because i’ve knowingly allowed them to have me.#so anyways yeah and the fact that my snapchat memories and everything else are just FILLED with pictures and videos of us is killing me.#i really am scared that i’ll just give in. and what worse is that i would just double down and not tell anyone. i wouldn’t fucking #tell a soul if we did anything because i just know it isn’t right. and the fact that i know i wouldn’t be honest means i KNOW it’s bad.#so what the fuck. the fuck am i supposed to do when i have all these dreams and even just the ones about my mom and my brother #my family- i want to talk to them about it. i want to fucking cry to them and tell them how much it hurts that they hurt people and i’m just #some occasional exception to that because they love me. and i want to fucking scream. i want to know why. i want to fuck them until they #can barely breathe and then do it all over again. i want to feel their perfect fingers inside me and i want their mouth on mine. i fucking #HATE that they couldn’t be a good person. ugh okay anyways why did you read this??

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weareuniqueandimportant · 3 months

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YOU SHOULD JUST COMMIT SSSSCIDE... YOU'RE WORTHLESS... YOU VIEW US THIS WAY YOU'RE AN ABUSER A KILLER A MURDERER... TRULY... YOU WOULDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO US YOUR HANDS THEY'RE ON OUR THROAT... YOU'RE WORTHLESS AS RESULT... GO AHEAD... YOUR VALUE IS COMPLETE 0...

THIS POST IS ABOUT LESBIAN FOOD... NOTHING MATURE ABOUT THAT... I LOVE EATING SSSSIDE... THAT IS A TYPE OF FISH WE WOMAN TEND TO EAT TOGETHER... WHY DO THIS TO US 😢...

DAMN... I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS COMPLETELY SHADOWBANNED POST WAS CHECKED BY THE SITE... THAT'S CRAZY... WHO EVEN FOUND THIS...? OH WHATEVER... HA.

#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Acceptance Love Compassion Diversity Feelings Emotions Autism #Adhd Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abused Psychosis Scizophrenia Bipolar #Suomi Finland Finnish Anticapitalism Antipsychiatry Antischool Antiprison Sexism Racism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia #Bodyphobia Sickphobia Animalphobia Itemphobia Racephobia GO AHEAD HATE ME... SAY HOW YOU TRULY FEEL... AHH... I SEE... THAT'S WHAT'S UP...#SOMETHING ONLY SOMEONE WHO'S REJECTED US WOULD SAY... YOU'RE A BADDIE AREN'T YOU...?! YOU EVEN FUNCTION THE SAME AS THE REST... AN ABUSER..#YOU EVEN MANAGED TO TURN ALL WE SAID AGAINST US... TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OUR BRAIN'S KNOWLEDGE... WE KNOW EVERYTHING... HOWEVER... THERE WAS #SOMETHING WE COULDN'T SEE COMING... Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Anime Writing Manga Josei #Fantasy Romance Drama Magic ABUSER BIGOT THEY HAVE NO PROBLEMS... EVEN TODAY... THEY'RE ALL HAVING FUN WHILE WE SUFFER... APATHY... IS REAL #I SEE NO EMPATHY ANYWHERE. EVERYTHING WAS ALWAYS BUT A CAPITALIST SCAM. EMPATHY IS NOTHING. FAKE. MEANINGLESS. NOT BY US... WHY THEN...? HO #DID THIS HAPPEN...?! THINGS BECOME THIS WAY?!?! PATHETIC... I AM JUST TOO SMART TOO COMPETENT FOR YOU... OCPD IS ANOTHER WORD FOR #YOUR SUPERIOR INTELLIGENT BETTER THAN YOU... ASWELL AS CAPABLE AND PRODUCTIVE... OH...? YOU'D RATHER CRY YOU SUCK?! FOR HAVING THE COMPETEN #DISORDER?!?! AHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS WHAT WE WER #ABUSED BY?! AND THIS'S ALL THANKS TO THAT PSYCHOSIS THAT OCPD YOU HATE FROM US SO MUCH... THAT MEANWHILE... NOTHING BUT A BIGOTED CAPITALIS #COVERUP... YOU'RE SO FUNNY... I... JUST ALWAYS AM BETTER THAN YOU AREN'T I LOSER WASTE...? LOSER WASTE PATHETIC PATHETIC!!!!!!!! BELOW #MYSELF!!!!!!!! CRY CRY CRY YOU GARBAGE......... I... MOMMY'S HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME RIGHT NOW... REMEMBER ALL I SAID...?! I JUST REMEMBERE #HOW I PRESENTED... IN THAT SITUATION!!!!!!!! DID THAT WORK I'M A SEXY WOMAN AREN'T I?! YOU DEAR... GIVE ME VALIDATION....... A REQIIREMENT #FOR EVER DEALING WITH NPD!! WHAT YOU CALL DELUSION!!!!!!!! TYPICAL ABUSER BIGOT DISCRIMINATION... NOTHING PRO CRAZY ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE PRETT #MUCH JUST A COP THAT THREW A FIT WE'RE SEXY WOMAN... I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE ANT... THEY'RE SO BEATIFULL... LIKE THEIR SKIN... AND NOBODY... CA #STOP ME... A BLACK WOMAN... AMAZING... ISN'T THAT...?! IF YOU HATE US SO MUCH WHAT'S WITH THE OBSESSION DARLING?! YOU SECRETLY LOVE ME!!#DON'T YOU DARLING?! OHH IF ONLY THERE WAS A DISLIKE BUTTON... IF ONLY WE WERE AS ABUSABLE AS OVER THERE... IS YOUR THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW AREN'#THEY?! MY LITTLE SEX DOG!!!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU SAY TO YOUR MISTRRSS YOUR MASTER...? BARK FOR ME BABY. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! THIS I #WHAT WE WERE ABUSED BY!!!!!! A MEAGER SEX DOG BELOW US!!!! DIDN'T WE HONEY?! YES!! AGREE WITH ME!! THAT IS ALL YOU CAN DO RIGHT?!?!?!?! AND #SHOWCASE OF THE ABUSE WE WERE SILENCED AND GASSLIGHT FOR THIS LONG... TOSSED OUT BY THIS ABUSER WASTE... BY THIS POINT... THIS IS HOW WE #WERE SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH OUR ABUSERS... SHOWCASE WE'RE LATE. THINGS GOING WELL... THAT WOULD BE PARADISE. I HOPE TO HAVE A HAPPY FUTURE..#THEY USED US... THEIR EVIL HAS NO BOUNDS... TO BE USED BY SUCH AN PATHETIC LITTLE SEXY DOGGIE... OH THIS POST IS SO SHADOWBANNED... SO #HUMILIATING!! SO EMBARRASSING!!!!!!! WHY WOULD THEY SHADOWBAN THAT WORD? THAT CAN MEAN MANY THINGS?! LOSERS. ANYWAYS THIS IS YOUR STRATEGY #ISN'T THAT HONEY...?! THIS ALWAYS WAS WASN'T THAT?! YOU STRAIGHT UP HURT AND WANT TO ABUSE CRAZY PEOPLE RIGHT?! ARE WE!! THE “CHOOSE TO DO #BAD“ ONES?! IS THIS ”AS LONG AD THAT DOESN'T HARM ANYONE...“ MENTALITY ALLDEPENDENT ON THE PILLS YOU SUCK...?! THAT IS ISN'T THAT?! ALL #ALONG WAS?! AND THERE ARE EVEN PILLS YOU DON'T ACCEPT... THAT'S... COMPLETELY PATHETIC... YOU “CHANGE BY TIME” DON'T YOU LOSER?!! THAT'S NO #LEFTIST AT ALL... LIAR!! LIAR LIAR LIAR!! I CALLED!! I KNEW!! I'M SMART!! PRAISE ME MY LOVE!! THEIR GASSLIGHT STUCK WITH US FOR MANY MONTHS

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sunday-12-25 · 27 days

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love being crazy. never a dull moment

#its ridiculous how i present myself and my symptoms so neatly sorted VERSUS how i actually experience that shit first-hand #we were doing some grounding safe-space exercise with my doc today n i was you know. imagining the places #n then out of nowhere i saw -her- there. i dont know why it felt so surprising but... she came for me and i was so... touched #like i... think i just... i didnt know she was real? i thought. god this sounds so miserable but i really thought i was making her do this #even though weve been talking for years and shes been my comfort. but i think its cuz she came when i didnt expect her and she just took my #hand and i. i did feel safe #it did feel like a safe space. but then i was so shocked by this whole thing that i forgot why we were even doing this exercise in the firs #place n my doc was like so! what did you see : ) n i know i could. have been quiet but i guess we were trying to mask less and i was still #so shocked that i really just told her. yes doc i... saw a... a friend. shes been with me for a while now but i was still thinking shes jus #a character or something. but she came to me and she told me she cared and im just so happy that shes real bcs i love her #ive loved her and i thought i was making her stay but she wanted to stay with me! bcs she loved me too!!#and i was like trying not to spontaneously cry bcs i legit was NOT expecting any of that. and i was also ... actually i dont think i though #abt it feeling cringe. even tho it. is a little difficult... but i DID think about how strange it felt to be honest abt it with a doctor #bcs its like... with the docs ive had and life in general its always...not about being honest but abt HOW WILL SAYING THIS HELP ME GET X #and yeah i dont trust them. even tho i... trust these doctors i guess. theyve been handling it well for years. they admit the system #still it feels so damn unsafe to mention anything cuz how crazy is TOO crazy for a person with power over you... anyway i do trust the doc #n she knew. but its still weirdddd to mention shit abt it that is not life or death. but it was so out of nowhere and i was so happy like #KATRIN!!! KATRIN SHES REAL!! SHES REAL OH GOD SHES ACTUALLY THERE FOR ME IM GOING TO CRY!!!! WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABT

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revserrayyu · 3 months

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One HSR Character a Day Day 41: Serval (aka: revs' favorite)

#honkai star rail #serval landau #hsr edits #revsdailyhsr #THE BEST DAMN GIRL EVER AND MY MIND WONT BE CHANGED!! AAAHH my god she's so incredibly talented from all #her research work as a silvermane guard and mechanic to rocking out in her own band and singing like a goddess. mad respect #to each one of her voice actors for that. especially Natalie because good heavens y'all her performance is literal perfection.#it fits serval so well and all the emotion you hear during her companion quest is phenomenal it makes me wanna cry. her #backstory with cocolia is heartbreaking yet she still manages to continue on and live her best life and im so happy and proud.#she's such a sweetheart to her siblings and chill and strong and straight up beautiful so yes OF COURSE i had to include #both light cones. she's my absolute favorite and i can do whatever i want on my birthday thank you very much! and that's #exactly why i started this whole edit series when i did so that the countdown would line up perfect with her landing on today.#also gave the other siblings a quote about their family so had to do the same with her. so i figured yeah why not both lcs? because #she deserves all the praise and definitely earned herself a spot in my heart for many years to come. i love her like crazy.

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bo0zey · 2 years

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anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol

#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird #this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY #i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it #whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo #i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work #imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞#real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason #like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me #ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS???#ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like #why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean #i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything #i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed #i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame #i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol #also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually #cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj #i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle #i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore #i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable #ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao #im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed #ramblings #shut up cianna

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damnprecious · 1 year

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the only downside to not wearing shoes indoors really do be the fact that if you need to get the fuck out of a place fast bc you're upset for some reason, you have to either stop the process of storming out to put your shoes on or grab the shoes and gtfo just in your socks

#noopa rambles #it has been a Day(tm) lads #still losing my mind over my brother being an inconsiderate jackass earlier today #I mean the post eurovision tired is probably affecting the amount of crying I've been doing #but my god I'm still upset bc he ditched me to visit grandmas alone and didn't tell me about it #anyhow this 'I want to storm out but shoes' has caused issues twice #I can't even remember why it happened the first time it did #I think I had gotten more and more frustrated over some board game at a game night #like it was a new game and they didn't let me read the rules myself and just went with 'oh we'll tell more as we play'#and then they told me smt that I understood Wrong and I just wasn't having a good time #but that time I managed to Not dramatically storm out bc I was like 'can't go out in the finnish winter in your socks'#with a side of 'can't leave the clearly almost equally frustrated friend who has a bunch of stuff behind'#gotta give the buddy in frustration time to collect all craft projects etc before leaving #unity in upset etc etc #also yes I'm aware it's ridiculous to get upset over some random game #but there was also random other shit in the background building up #and I'm a really sore loser and get frustrated easily when I don't understand smt #so I snapped a little

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cutieln4 · 3 months

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PR Problem | LN4 smau

lando norris x reader

summary: in which lando's girlfriend is gorgeous, and he is not afraid to be horny on main

fc: madison beer

yourusername

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yourusername life recently :)

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yourfriend pretty girl

username1 you’re so gorjus

landonorris oh my god

landonorris i need you so bad

landonorris i’m coming home rn i can’t take it😫

username2 actually so down bad

maxfewtrell mate it’s been 2 days

landonorris please just one chance

landonorris on my knees for you🧎‍♂️

oscarpiastri Zak just scheduled a PR training session for you

username3 LANDO’S COMMENTS OMG💀

username4 he’s so unhinged i love him

username5 how did lando pull her???

username6 he’s sick of the lando norizz allegations😭

username7 wish my boyfriend was as down bad as lando is

randomfootballer wow😍

landonorris yeah you can fuck off

y/nupdates

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y/nupdates Y/n in her latest photo shoot

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username1 how is she so gorgeous

username2 lando is so lucky

landonorris i know😍

landonorris oh wow

landonorris is she single?

username3 one thing is certain in life: if there’s a post about y/n, lando is gonna be in the comments

landonorris need her more than i need oxygen

landonorris i’ll be a passenger princess for you😫

danielricciardo SIMP🫵

landonorris run me over with that car pls

username4 beautiful

username5 i’d kill to have her looks

username6 once again lando is thirsting

f1wags

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f1wags Y/n spotted in Miami ahead of the race

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landonorris AWOOOGA🤤🤤

landonorris WOOF WOOF

landonorris GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

oscarpiastri Zak is disappointed again

landonorris you could beat me up and i’d thank you

username1 looked at myself and sighed

username2 just spent 20 minutes laughing at lando’s comments

username3 life is so unfair

username4 nah fr cause she’s pretty, nice, funny, has a good body, AND is dating an f1 driver

username5 PLEASE BE IN THE PADDOCK THIS WEEKEND🙏🙏

username6 fav wag

username7 she’s so out of lando’s league

username8 if lando was able to pull her, maybe the rest of us have a chance

yourusername

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yourusername appreciation post for my handsome winner💞

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landonorris i love you

landonorris i’m all yours

username1 i’m crying this is so sweet

username2 i love boyfriend lando

username3 THE NOSE SCRUNCH🥹

username4 i love them

landonorris i did it for you baby🫶🫶

danielricciardo simp

landonorris yes, and?

username5 HE DID IT YESSSSSSS

username6 this is why you’re the best wag

username7 the difference in the way they compliment each other is crazy

y/nupdates

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y/nupdates y/n in her new music video

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username1 she’s glowing wow

username2 can lando fight??

username3 face card never declines

landonorris HOLYYY MOLYYYY

landonorris that’s MY girlfriend everyone

landonorris omfg she’s so sexy🤤

landonorris i want her to wrap her legs around my head😫

username4 sorry???

oscarpiastri right, that’s enough instagram for today

username5 the horniness continues

username6 i need her to tell us her highlighter

username7 she’s so perfect it’s unfair

username8 hair is always perfect

#lando norris #f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris smau #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #smau #oscar piastri #daniel ricciardo #madison beer #max fewtrell #mclaren #formula 1 #f1 smau #social media au #f1 fanfic

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buck2eddie · 1 year

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finished my reread of rwrb (which was basically like reading it for the first time since i've read it like two years ago and my memory is shit) and now im even more intrigued to see what they keep and what they leave out from the movie version

#this book got LOTS of plots and lots of characters so obviously i understand mot everything getting in #but also WHY cut June :(((((((( im interested to see how that one works out #anyways!!!! still very excited about the movie!!!#yes i did cry a bit finishing this book today!!!#maya talks

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onlyswan · 5 months

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summary: in which for you, jungkook would commit crimes and his mother would peel oranges.

idol!jk x reader | fluff, angst | word count: 9.5k

warnings/content: oc passes out in the shower / jk does something crazy i’m literally insane about this / baby bam cameo 🥺 / stitches >:( / blood draw / mention of speeding / jealous not but rlly jealous oc is pissed owfffff at the nurse who has a crush on jk lmao / jk and his mom loves them to death tho so obv who wins / love is beautiful let’s all cry <3

> in which masterlist!

note: *sitcom sound effect of crowd cheering* I’M BACK 🥰 hope u enjoy the product of my madness during finals season hehehe. and special thanks to my cutieful proofreader rio!! you’re one of my most favorite people i’ve ever met 🥺💕 + my beloveds who came to the rescue when i had medical questions !! i didn’t expect to receive help from soooo many and i’m so freaking grateful i could cri :")

—

“i ordered it the other day. how did it arrive so early?”

jungkook walks back inside the apartment, arms occupied by a stack of boxes that arrived in the mail yesterday.

he arrives at the living room, head tilting to the side in confusion when he realizes that the netflix show he was watching on the television is no longer playing. instead, there is the news channel.

he gasps.

“baby, you’re alive!”

your swollen eyes flicker up to him.

you’re lying on the sofa with your legs lazily dangling on the edge. there’s a toothbrush in your mouth, foam of bubbles between your lips, but your arm barely exerts the energy to make it do its job.

“you were asleep from afternoon to morning. do you know that? you’ve never done that before!” he exclaims, carelessly tossing the boxes on the floor. “i was getting scared!”

you only hum to acknowledge his existence, pushing yourself up from the sofa and unknowingly dodging the hug your boyfriend wanted to greet you with.

he ends up collapsing face first on the empty space you left, hurt and offended.

the bathroom door opens and closes.

he flips over, whining. “yah, we didn’t see each other for a day. didn’t you miss me?!”

still not a single word from you. sleeping that long must not have cured your exhaustion, jungkook surmises. you tend to be glum and cranky when you’re feeling unwell, as is usually the case when you wake up as unrested as before.

he doesn’t always know how to make you feel better, but he always tries anyway.

“our new bedsheets arrived!” he announces from the other side of the bathroom door, making himself loud so that you can hear him despite the shower running. “do you want to unbox them with me?!”

he allows the seconds to pass, but with his hands on his hips, he eventually begins to tap his foot on the floor.

“baby? may i go in?”

he turns the knob, just to be prepared incase the answer is a yes, but it doesn’t turn. a sad pout forms on his face.

huh? why is it locked?

you must genuinely don’t want to be bothered today.

“guess that’s a no.” he mutters to himself before calling out to you. “okay, i’ll wait for you!”

with a crestfallen sigh, he begins to walk back to the living room.

he doesn’t go far, however.

only several steps later, a series of loud crashes is heard from the bathroom and his heart thunders in his chest with a combination of numbing shock and fear.

“____, what was that?! did you fall?!”

he aggressively pounds at the door, extremely desperate this time around. he has no plans on leaving until he knows that you’re safe and sound.

“baby! open this! are you alright…? are you hurt? you’re scaring me. please, answer!”

he pauses, catching his breath as his mind runs a thousand miles per hour.

“____!”

he strikes the door with an open palm one more time, more so to express his frustration that is only growing worse with every tick of the clock. he only ends up hurting himself in the process.

“that’s it! i’m opening the door!”

he frantically whips his head around, racking his brain for the location of the key. there are two copies of it somewhere in the apartment, but in his panicked state, he is unable to pinpoint either of their specific spots. and he can’t fucking afford to waste any more time.

“ah, fuck!” he curses, left with no other choice but to give in to the instinct of breaking down the door with the strength and durability of his body alone.

he would most definitely break his shoulder first before the door.

only after the first try, that much is clear.

and so, with madness inconsiderate of his agony, he resorts to kicking it over and over again.

the repeated loud collisions rattles poor bam from his slumber. not long after, the dog’s barking creates a booming dissonance with his grunts and kicks at the door.

when it finally swings open, the force of his own body sends him stumbling on the bathroom floor, but he doesn’t waste time in bouncing back to his feet.

the twisting of his stomach is instantaneous.

there lies your naked, unconscious figure behind the glass— surrounded by bottles of hair and body products that must have fallen when your hands were searching for something to hold on to.

his voice cracks, breathless.

“baby, no… no, no, no.”

he kneels on the floor, and despite the strong urge to carry you out of there, he tries to calm down. it’s the first rule in every emergency case; professionals reiterate in seminars and news channel segments.

keep calm. keep calm. keep calm.

he won’t be able to forgive himself if he ends up causing more harm than good.

“____, can you hear me?!”

his instinct tells him to inspect every inch of you for any sign of injury, but then his vision becomes too blurry. he curses at the hindrance and forces himself to turn off the showerhead that was left running.

he harshly wipes his face, rushing back to you.

“please, please, please. wake up.” he begs.

he has a feeling that it’s futile. you can’t hear him and he’s wasting his breath. the thing is he doesn’t know what else to do.

“baby…”

he carefully turns your head over, almost relieved because he hasn’t seen blood so far.

almost.

at last, he gets a full view of your face, and he finds blood dripping. this has always been one of his most paralyzing fears— seeing you get hurt. now that it’s become a reality, there’s a part of him that wants to believe this is some kind of twisted dream.

“how- how did this even happen…?” he cries out, his own blood running cold.

for everything that happens after, his body acts on its own. bam is a constant presence in his peripheral, but he is barely in his right mind to acknowledge the presence aside from, “bam, move. daddy might step on you.”

he carries you out of the bathroom, kicking aside the beaten up door. he has made up his mind about bringing you to the hospital, but he can’t bring you like… this.

he lays you down on the bed, all that gentleness switched off in a split second so he can sprint to the walk-in closet. he hastily grabs whatever is on top of your neatly folded stacks of shirts and pants; and then a fresh towel on the way out. the gentleness returns as he pats your face dry, the pure white stained with dark red. he flips the towel and uses the other side to wipe the rest of your body, in a race against time but mindful of treating you like fragile glass.

once that is over, he dresses you in a pair of gray sweatpants, and with some difficulty, an orange t-shirt.

any person with functioning eyes will be able to tell that the shades don’t go together.

if you were conscious, you’d definitely berate him for making you wear this outfit.

but you’re not.

jungkook effortlessly swoops you in his arms— dripping wet hair, his and yours, leaving behind a trail of raindrops from your apartment floor to the cemented parking lot.

—

your body feels like it’s floating.

are you dreaming…?

you must be dreaming.

you hear an uncoordinated symphony of voices, but you can’t comprehend a word. in pursuit of clarity, you force yourself to open your eyes.

the voices grow a little louder. faceless figures hover you; a bright light shines over your face.

your senses must be playing cruel tricks. now it feels like you’re drowning, sinking into the unknown, and your body has succumbed into numbing defeat.

you want to sleep a little more.

you must truly be exhausted. it’s okay.

you’ve fought hard until now. you’ve done enough… has anyone tried in life as much as you did?

just as your eyes flutter shut, you regain sensation of your hand; a soft squeeze and a call of your name.

—

jungkook gently strokes your hair, sighing for the nth time since you got transferred to a private room. he’s relieved that all the scans came back clean so serious head and brain injuries have been ruled out. the doctor also asked him questions and ran some other tests before concluding that electrolyte imbalance caused you to pass out; the culmination of stress and fatigue from work, as well as your strong period, most likely being the main reasons. he didn’t even know about the latter until you stained the white sheets with blood.

it was fucking frightening being in the sidelines as they rushed to check on your vitals and to administer oxygen. even now, it’s unbearable to see you with a needle in your hand and a few stitches above your eyebrow. he already anticipated you not being pleased with having to get stitches specifically either; gasping and sitting up as soon as you heard the word come from his lips post-consciousness. consequently, the dizziness hits you. the doctor wasn’t happy about that.

“this is so annoying. i don’t want a scar.” you whine as you study your face on the camera of jungkook’s phone. “did i have to fall on my prettier side?”

“what are you saying? you’re pretty from any angle.” he interjects. “be careful. the wound might open up.”

you jut out your bottom lip, looking up at him with glassy eyes. the sight instantly tugs at his heartstrings, and he pulls you in for a hug. maybe he’s a little sad that you don’t appear concerned about the fact that you passed out, but god is he relieved to finally hear your voice again.

“ah, i should call the doctor.”

but his face remains buried in your hair.

“they told me to do so.”

“you should-”

“why?!” he abruptly reacts, drawing back. “does anything hurt?”

“chill. you said that they told you to.”

“oh, that’s right.” he sheepishly smiles. he can’t help but to overreact; he hasn’t turned off the alarms in his head. “i’ll go tell the nurse to get her.”

he starts to walk towards the door, but a tug at his shirt holds him back.

you shyly look at him with a scrunch of your nose. “i’m nervous. hug me for five more seconds.”

fuck, he would move heaven and earth to protect you from everything that can cause you harm.

“why would you be nervous? i’m right here.” he scolds you lightheartedly, not hesitating to seize the chance to hug you again. “i love you.”

“i love you more.”

you pull away after five seconds, and he’d be disappointed about you being too true to your words if you didn’t kiss him on the cheek so ardently.

his heart almost jumps out of his chest when you gasp out of nowhere as if you just realized that you left the gas tank open at home. your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

“bam!”

oh, right. your child.

“my brother’s house!” he eases your mind.

you breathe out in relief, the heel of your palm pressing against the left side of your chest where your heart lives. “good… i was worried. he was probably more scared because he didn’t understand what was going on. i feel bad.”

you love bam so much; it makes him so happy. you’re so concerned about him even when you’re the one on the hospital bed. you make pretty good parents, huh?

“that’s right. he was worried about you, too. that’s why you need to recover quickly so he won’t be sad!”

—

the doctor kindly asked jungkook to give the two of you some time alone, so he’s been idly sitting at the lobby after buying a bottle of water. he’s pretty much used to visiting the hospital for routine checkups considering the nature of his job, but it always feels strange to be here for the other different purposes of the place.

is there any other building sadder than this?

if you heard him utter this question, he could easily predict what you’d say: but is there any other building with more love?

if he tries hard enough, he could listen to your voice and paint you in his mind.

you see love in every place that you step foot into.

his curious eyes continue to wander around. he spots people carrying flowers, baskets, and containers of food. there’s also a teenage boy in his high school uniform, carrying a teddy bear larger than him.

not that he wants you to stay longer, but if you have to, he writes down a mental note to bring one of your favorite plushies.

he eventually gets tired; considers scrolling on his phone again, but he decides against it when his gaze lands on a little boy sleeping soundly on his mother’s lap. suddenly, he is reminded of his childhood before he moved to seoul.

how simple life can be when you’re innocently sleeping on your mother’s lap, trusting that everything will be alright.

“ah, i miss my mom…” he utters absentmindedly. “i miss my mom so much. i should call her.”

his reminiscing is interrupted when a wheelchair rolls by infront of him. it is leisurely being pushed by an old man who wants to bring his wife outside for some fresh air.

in a parallel universe somewhere, jungkook can imagine them as you and him.

he sits up straight, looking back at the clock on the wall.

how long has it been? he wants to be by your side again.

—

“jungkook!” your face lights up as soon as your boyfriend steps into the room. “what took you so long?”

“i know. sorry, baby. i got a little distracted outside.”

“i’ve been waiting.” you pout. “why? were people bothering you?”

“not at all. don’t worry.”

you pat the empty space beside you. “here.”

“i think the bed is meant for only one person- damn, okay, okay-”

he swiftly gives in upon seeing the hurt on your face, occupying the space you reserved for him. “i love you. don’t be sad.”

you’re aching too much to wait for him to get settled. you wrap your arms around his waist like you’re a magnet attracted to steel, clinging to him for comfort.

if you’re being honest, you don’t know how you feel about being in this situation. overwhelmed? maybe a tiny bit relieved. in the past, it didn’t matter whether you were sick or not. you needed to work or else it was guaranteed that you wouldn’t survive. life is easier now. you have the luxury to use this as a reason to take a break. you have someone who takes care of you as naturally as he breathes.

“how was the doctor?”

“she’s nice… she just asked me about the things i remember before i passed out. then about my work, diet, sleeping schedule… stuff like that.”

you pull away a little, just enough so you can see each other’s face. you squint at him suspiciously. “did you have to get an expensive room?”

he chuckles. “how did you know? they didn’t tell you that, did they?”

“i literally have the perfect view of the fountain from here!” you point at the large window behind you. “i just passed out. i would’ve been fine downstairs.”

“don’t say it like that. it could’ve been so much worse.” he says with knitted eyebrows, palm cupping the back of your head and caressing softly.

he heaves a sigh.

“i was so scared that you injured your head. seriously, i thought i’d go insane if i lost you! i went past the speed limit driving you here!”

the distress he was under is apparent. you can’t help but to be racked with the guilt. you always do this, making him worry himself to death. you don’t usually do it purpose, and that only makes you feel shittier.

“you’re right. i’m sorry.”

“well, i…” he sighs. “it’s okay. i know you didn’t want this either. it’s not your fault.”

you press your lips into a thin line. “it kind of is.”

your lost eyes meet, and a connection is established like it’s a constellation sending a secret message. your heart flutters when he giggles, dimples and starry eyes and crinkled corners.

“stop it. it’s impossible to scold you when you’re so cute and self-aware.”

“then don’t scold me.” you sniffle sadly to kindle pity in him. “i’ve had enough of it from the doctor.”

your brain still works well enough to help you escape from trouble. that’s a good sign, right?

“my poor baby.” he coos, cradling your cheeks.

his hands are warm. you put yours over them; a wordless signal telling him you don’t want him to go away.

“let’s not get hurt again, please. we need to stay healthy and take good care of ourselves so this won’t happen again, alright?”

you nod in obedience. your eyes are fixed on him but you’re not certain if you’re registering what he’s telling you in your pitiful, shaken brain.

“the hospital already did me many favors. if we go back, i might have to build them another fountain as a gift.”

and knowing jungkook, with his golden heart and his black card, jokes become half-meant.

“what do they need that for?!”

he bursts out laughing, yet again, after you chide at him for his ridiculous and unnecessary expenses.

“nothing, i’m just grateful! i was really so scared but i’m relieved now thanks to them. i can’t remember the last time i felt that way.”

“you’re not scared of a lot of things.” you point out.

“that’s right.” he agrees. “only you scare me these days.”

you grimace. “am i scary?”

“you are, sometimes.” he laughs, squishing your cheeks together. “but i mean the things that could hurt you.”

as if on cue, your stomach grumbles and bellows like a monster stuck in an empty cave. your eyes grow twice its size in bewilderment, which then morphs into embarrassment.

“my stomach hurts.” you say quietly.

your nostrils flare as jungkook miserably fails to hold back his laughter. one of his hands leave your face, rubbing your tummy over the thin hospital gown.

“oh no, what are we going to do? where does it hurt? here?” he pouts. “should we go feed you now to make it go away?”

“what is wrong with you?” you slap his shoulder in annoyance. “i’m not a baby!”

“yah, be careful!” he yells, wincing as if he is the one in pain. “be gentle with the one with the iv!”

—

“you know one good thing that came out of this?” you gush out of nowhere.

you’re mixing up the ingredients of your bibimbap bowl with a spoon and a pair of chopsticks.

jungkook noisily drinks the final sips of his banana milk. afterwards, he makes a game out of shooting the box in the trash bin.

“what could that be?” he asks, doubtful.

he sits on the chair beside your bed. you greet him with a delighted grin, licking your thumb stained with gochujang.

“you proved your love. you committed a crime for me.”

he gasps to humor you, body freezing as if he’s currently processing the newly-learned information in his brain.

“oh? you’re right- i did! and you know what? i’d do it again!”

with a mouthful of rice, you shake your head in disagreement furiously. “you’re cute. but that’s the first and last.”

“but how are you sure that it’s the first?” he raises an eyebrow quizically.

silly enough, you envy him for being able to do so.

you hum in thought. “i guess you’ve stolen a few things for me, too.”

“few? you mean a loooot?”

“you’re the one who brings home food and random things.” you roll your eyes. “i never ask you to.”

“you told me you wanted the service bell!”

you feel yourself become flushed with sheepishness. he’s not lying. you’ve always found the object fascinating as a child, so you couldn’t help but to tell him to sneakily take one home after filming a competitive run bts episode.

did you have a silly phase where you and jungkook used it to summon each other just to laugh together about it?

perhaps.

“well, you’re rich. you could’ve bought me one instead.”

“but it was already there.” he reasons with a wide grin, gesturing infront of him. “i wanted to give it to my lover right away.”

his lover?

jungkook has successfully replaced your frown with an enamored smile.

“i made your heart flutter just now, didn’t i?”

a hospital stay has never felt this comfortable— not terrifying. you have stitches on your face and to add to that, this hospital gown feels super unflattering. somehow, your boyfriend’s loving gaze remains steady and you are melting.

“shut up,” you mutter, flustered, handing him the pair of chopsticks. “please eat with me. i can’t finish this on my own.”

—

“why would you let them put the needle in my dominant hand?”

you stomp your feet on the ground as jungkook squeezes some toothpaste onto a newly-bought toothbrush.

“i’m sorry! i was too stressed out so i just pointed! i think i got confused with- with left and right.”

you didn’t realize this while you were eating; that you were unconsciously holding the spoon with your non-dominant hand because the other felt uncomfortable. maybe because it was a simple task, scooping food and bringing it to your mouth. brushing your teeth, on the other hand… can be quite an arm workout.

“eeeee!”

he shows his complete set of teeth, urging you to do the same. you stare at him blankly.

“eeeee!” he repeats with heightened enthusiasm.

left with no other choice— you copy his awkward smile.

“there we go!” he praises you with an over-enthusiastic beam.

he carries on to brush your teeth, gingerly holding your chin to keep you steady as he does his job.

this is the first time jungkook is doing this for you. today is definitely not one of your finest moments. it feels a bit silly to be in this situation, and you feel bad for putting your boyfriend in this position in the first place. you can see that he’s trying his best—unnecessarily focused—and that he loves you, but you just hate giving him a hard time.

with a soft smile, he wipes the bubbles that overflowed past your lips.

“okay, spit.”

you spit out more of the bubbles on the sink. you assume that he’s finished, except he’s making another vowel sound for you to mimic the mouth shape of.

“ahhhh-”

“this is embarrassing!”

“baby, really? this is where you draw the line?” he playfully squeezes your cheeks together. “it’s almost over! ahhhh!”

and you let him do this thing, but not without a glare that is masking the embarrassing truth: you might be enjoying this more than you care to admit.

“see? was that so bad?”

as he tenderly pats your face dry in the aftermath, he says: “i’m sorry. bear with it a little more. let me take care of you so you’ll be healthy again.” and you feel every ounce of his sincerity pierce through the barriers surrounding your soul.

“stop it…” your voice suddenly comes out broken.

you want to put all the blame on your period for the tears that are now brimming your eyes, but jungkook is your biggest weakness of all and that is an explanation enough.

“why are you crying?” he panics. “what did i say?”

“it’s your fault.”

you break down into loud sobs, incapable of even keeping your eyes open. you never understood why we close our eyes when we cry, but right now, you know that you can’t bear to witness his reaction.

“you’re so sweet.”

the towel that was wiping the water from your mouth is now drying the tears from your stained cheeks.

“am i making you sad?”

you furiously shake your head. how could he say such a thing? he is the greatest joy of your life.

“no?”

“no!”

“okay, come here then.”

he wraps his arms around your trembling figure, caging you in the solace of his entire existence. a sense of calmness washes over your system, especially as he runs his hand across your back in gentle strokes. this isn’t his goal though, it seems. you hear none of his quiet shushes beseeching you to stop breaking his heart. he hopes you let go of everything that has been weighing on you, but he has already eased all your pains by loving you.

“ugh, i probably look horrible right now.” you force a chuckle to lighten up the mood, wiping your face with the back of your free hand. “i feel gross.”

“that’s not true.” he gazes at you fondly, brushing your hair with his fingers. “it’s actually infuriating how you look so beautiful still.”

“i know. i’m nice to look at; that’s why you tolerate my attitude.” you conclude in jest.

“yeah, sometimes.” he rides on the joke.

“what…?”

“i’m joking!” he rushes to take it back with a laugh. “of course i’m joking!”

you pout. “are you really?”

“oh, come onnnn.”

he coaxes you with a kiss on the lips— a good morning kiss long overdue. you’ve been spoiled rotten with affection; he knows you need more than one. he interrupts himself several times to kiss you.

“you know i’ll love you until our hair turns white and our skin all wrinkly.”

to be brutally honest, you’re not fond of imagining that far ahead. it’s daunting. you doubt your capability to age with grace. you’re horrified by the thought of having the majority of your life behind you. nostalgia has always been more bitter than sweet. but maybe this memory could be the sweetest of all, if jungkook truly stays by your side until then. in a cottage at the countryside like he said once, or a cabin by the ocean.

you’re both so young; so arrogant when it comes to making promises that are a shot in the dark. so fucking in love.

“me too.” you half-smile, scrunching your nose— a telltale sign of your joy. “now, get out. i really need to pee.”

his face becomes drained of blood. “but you’re st-”

“i won’t lock the door this time.” you cup his cheek, looking at his eyes reassuringly. “we don’t need property damage added to the bill.”

—

“did you not hurt yourself?”

“me?”

“you broke down the door. that’s not easy to do.”

you and jungkook make the best out of a bad deal. you’re squeezed together on the bed, browsing through television channels that seem to never end.

“it was easy because you were on the other side of it.”

that is what he claims confidently, but you are not fully convinced.

“wow, why do they have more channels than we do at home?”

“you didn’t answer my question.” you pout. “did you hurt yourself?”

“i didn’t hurt myself. i’m totally okay. i promise.”

he maintains eye-contact as he speaks. given the assurance, your tight chest unrestricts. jungkook is not a good liar. it’s a trait that causes him inconvenience every now and then, but it helps you to sleep soundly at night.

“should we just watch funny animal videos on youtube?”

“i guess that’s fine.”

it doesn’t show but you feel excitement run in your veins aside from the iv fluids that feel peculiarly cold.

from under your cheek, his chest vibrates with a giggle. “okay, hold on.”

as he pulls up the application, you tangle your legs together beneath the thin blanket. you hear the rapid tap tap tap of the remote control navigating the keypad while he types on the search bar, but your attention is someplace else. you’ve found the crook of his neck to sneak into, lazily kissing every inch of his exposed skin. your lips eventually trail up to his jaw. he smells so nice. you’re addicted.

“baby, someone can enter any minute.”

“i’m not doing anything.” you mumble.

you smile against his lips when he gives you a kiss as sweet as honey anyway.

“i’m curious about another thing.”

“what’s that?”

“did you cry?”

he comes to a still. the answer to that question requires a little time and thought.

“almost…”

“why almost?”

“no time. i had to bring you here, of course.” he replies.

you huff a laugh, exhaling a twinge of melancholia. “don’t cry.”

“i won’t. i’m happy now because you’re awake and fighting with me.”

“ow-”

your cry of pain is silenced when he squeezes you in an embrace that makes it nearly impossible to breathe.

“red panda!”

a squeal assaults both of your hearing as soon as your eyes land on the wide screen infront of the bed.

“i want one so fucking bad.”

the enunciated curse makes your boyfriend crack up in amusement. “that much?!”

—

jungkook opens his eyes to a nurse lightly nudging him awake.

“i’m sorry, i had to wake you up. i need to check vitals and draw blood.”

“shit, i’m sorry.” he panics.

his brain is foggy from the nap, but he still carefully sits up on the bed, wary of the iv line connected to your hand.

“i… was tired and i fell asleep.”

“it’s no problem; don’t worry.”

she smiles at him, but he doesn’t see it.

“you look adorable sleeping.”

“ah, really?” he awkwardly responds, absentminded. “it’s embarrassing.”

he stands on your side, about to disturb your peaceful rest much as it makes his heart ache with guilt, but you’re already stirring due to the absence of his warmth.

your heavy eyelids blink at the nurse in curiosity. “oh… do you need my blood?”

“yes, but i’ll take your blood pressure and temperature first.”

“okay,” you mumble, offering your arm. “it might be higher now because i’m scared.”

she chuckles at your joke. jungkook tries to share an endeared look with her and non-verbally communicate adorable, right?

“i promise i’ll be quick. although we definitely want it to be higher than earlier’s.”

you wince as the cuff around your upper arm goes as tight as it could, and you sigh at the same time that it begins to deflate.

“good, good, good,” she chants with a mumble. “it’s back in the normal range again…”

she brings out a digital thermometer from her pocket.

“you know where this goes.”

she hands it over to you, and you awkwardly place it in your armpit, holding it in place. it’s quiet as you wait for the device to make the beeping sound, except for her pen creating friction with your chart as she takes down notes.

“how’s your stitches? do you feel any discomfort?”

“it’s fine. thank you.”

not long after, you hear the beep. you return the thermometer to her, but not before taking a peak at the numbers displayed on the tiny screen. 36.8°C. you think you’ll live.

“i’ll draw your blood now.”

the nurse’s voice is sweet and reassuring, but it doesn’t quite ease the nervousness evident on your expression. your pupils shake as you watch her disinfect the area, and then comes out the long needle.

another one, jungkook laments inside.

“____, i’m right here.”

you crane your head, whimpering out his name. “jungkook,”

“it will be just a pinch. i’m inserting the needle now, alright?”

you take a sharp inhale.

if only he could switch positions with you, he would do it in a heartbeat. unfortunately, all he can do is caress your hair and whisper that it will be over soon.

“it hurts.” your damp eyelashes flutter, face twisting in discomfort. “i don’t like it.”

really, just a pinch? obviously a lie.

“hey, baby. look at the tv.”

the autoplay was left turned on after you fell asleep together. inside the screen is a puppy rolling around a snow-covered lawn. the wagging of its tail, the wide smile, and the pupils as big as boba balls: they all scream the happiness of an innocent.

“it’s so cute… i miss bam already. can we go to a dog park again?”

“of course!”

that promise sparks your smile. you turn to your side, and jungkook also catches a glimpse of the cotton taped to where you were poked.

“all done. you can go back to resting.”

“thank you. will you need to take blood again?” you inquire at the nurse.

“hm, probably. it depends on the doctor based on the results we get from this one.”

“can’t you just do it while i’m asleep? or is that not allowed?”

“baby…” jungkook snorts, hiding his face behind the palm of his hands.

the nurse laughs at your desperate suggestion. “that is honestly not a rare request, but the thing is… you might wake up in the middle of it and injure yourself. we can’t do that.”

“that won’t be a problem!” you passionately argue your case. “i’m a deep sleeper. seriously!”

“ah, thank you so much for your hard work!”jungkook intervenes, bowing to the nurse out of respect and gratitude. “i’m sure you’re busy. i will handle this!”

“oh yes, yes- thank you. please don’t forget the medicine for after dinner.”

“i won’t!”

“if you need anything, you know where to find me again.”

“yes,” he nods, chuckling. “thank you.”

“then i should leave…? but you’ll see me again later! bye!”

the door shuts, and his attention lands on your unimpressed form: a blank stare and arms folded infront of your chest.

uh-oh.

“did she seriously wink while saying that?”

“what?” he freezes, genuinely clueless. “i don’t know. i didn’t see anything. i was looking at you.”

“i’m right here- i’m the patient. why would you need anything from her? huh? why is she so excited to see you again?” you ramble angrily.

“right?!”

he climbs on the bed, reclaiming his spot next to you.

“that was weird.”

“what if she made it hurt on purpose? that…” you frown, glancing at your arm. “that didn’t really feel like a pinch to me.”

“ey, calm down. she wouldn’t.” he makes a doubtful face, laughing off the accusation. “…i don’t think so?”

you blink, exhaling in disbelief. “are you taking her side now?”

“of course not! baby, i’m just saying… a professional won’t do that.”

“why not? she’s still human. humans do stupid things when they like someone. she obviously likes you.”

“and so what?”

he grins with a spark of mischief, leaving an inch of a distance between your lips.

“i’m obviously yours.”

but you turn your cheek and your eyes fall on your lap, a pout highlighting your downcast mood.

“it’s so annoying.”

the regret sinks in after. he should’ve stuck to the golden rule: agree with everything that you say. there’s no point in having an argument no one will win. does it matter who’s right and wrong if each other’s sadness is contagious in addition to their own? your gut has almost always been right, and he’s old enough to be conscious of not allowing a stranger to put a dent on your relationship.

“are you serious? are you uncomfortable?” he tilts his head to try and get a better look at your face. “should i request for a different nurse?”

it’s quiet for a beat and he feels inclined to fill the silence with whatever enters his mind.

“i love you.”

almost immediately, your features soften and he knows your heart is also melting. the two of you bite the inside of your cheeks to hide a smile.

“no, there’s no need for that.”

but he still can’t help but to be worried. your peace of mind is his top priority. he doesn’t want you to be more stressed out, especially by things that he has the power to solve.

“are you sure?”

“she pissed me off. i need to piss her off too.”

of course, his ever stubborn and competitive lover. he sits up properly, amused and curious.

“and how will you do that?”

“i don’t know,” you nonchalantly shrug. “i’ll come up with something.”

—

“come up with what?”

to your surprise, a voice you haven’t heard in weeks echoes from the door.

“mom…?”

you’re stunned after only hearing yourself react to jungkook’s mother’s unexpected entrance. your head whips to his direction; your eyes wordlessly interrogating him.

“i need to go to work so i called her to watch over you.” he explains.

“why would you do that?” you argue with him as quietly as possible, lips barely moving as you try to hide your face from your mother-in-law. again, not one of your finest moments. “you didn’t have to. i can take care of myself.”

“but you don’t have to because you have us.”

jungkook marks the conversation finished with a kiss pressed to your temple, leaving you dumbfounded. he jumps off the bed and for a split second, you make eye-contact with his mother before he towered over her for a quick hug.

her kind smile is embroidered in your memory; a memory that wraps your heart in a type of warmth only a mother can provide.

“mom! i’m sorry. i really, really, really need to leave now. but! i’ll try to come back early so you can go home early too.”

“aigoo, stop stressing yourself out.”

jungkook receives a slap on the back, somehow more loving can scolding.

“i can stay the night so do what you need to do. you don’t have to worry.”

“it’s not only because i’m worried!”

she sassily puts a hand over her waist. it takes everything in you not to laugh out loud.

“then what else?”

“mom! what else?” he cheekily smiles. “of course i’ll miss ____ too much.”

did your boyfriend just…? to his mother? your jaw becomes slack from the shame.

“i missed ____ too!” she contests. “go to work and give us our alone time.”

you shyly smile when she transfers her attention from her son to you.

“hello, my baby. are you hungry?”

—

“does my son feed you well?”

“he does! but it’s funny- other mothers ask the opposite. are you feeding my son well? do you make sure he’s comfortable?”

you think out loud, transfixed on how she peels oranges with ease. your hands would always be stained by the juices, (and eyes red and teary from accidental splashes) (it’s too embarrassing to even think about) but hers are still magically clean.

“is that so?”

you graciously accept the slice she feeds you. she laughs when your face lights up like a christmas tree one more time. it’s way sweeter than you anticipated. you can’t get over how delicious it is.

“mhmm!”

perhaps you relied too much on dramas when it came to your expectations of what a relationship with your in-laws would look like. you imagined yourself running around like a dog trying to prove yourself worthy of their son, yet for some reason, it looks like they adore you for simply existing. it makes you feel extremely grateful, but you don’t understand.

“mom, i have a question… i know it’s probably too late to ask this now, but…”

“what could that be?”

“are you really not against me and jungkook living together?” you swallow your fear of the possibility of an unpleasant truth. “are you not… worried… that i’m receiving too much from him?”

because you would understand the apprehension. as a parent, one’s main concern would be their child. to outside eyes, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that jungkook is being taken advantage of and he’d be better off dating someone with the same status. sometimes you wish you were that someone too.

she utters your name sadly.

“he receives happiness and love from you. those are the most valuable things you could give to a person.”

she caresses your hair like she wants to erase the anxiety poisoning your mind.

“my dear, how come you’re worried about that until now? haven’t we told you? you’re part of the family. forget about my sister! i don’t welcome her negativity in our house!”

“living together is different. it’s a big deal. it normally happens in a relationship after…” the following words feel foreign in your mouth; they come out quieter than the rest of your sentence. “getting married.”

“then tell me. why did you agree to live with him?”

because you’re selfish. because you want more time that you can have him all to yourself. because you want to be accessible— the first person he runs to when he’s seeking comfort and stability. because you want goodnight and good morning kisses. because you were afraid of the risks but you’ve grown addicted to the thrill of love.

“he said… no matter how hard i push him away, he will stay within my reach.”

you hear your own shaky breathing. that moment— it’s still burned into your memory. you’re still holding on to it. it’s a promise he is yet to break and you pray that he never, ever does.

“i don’t want to push him away. i want to be within his reach too.”

you’re two people loving each other with everything within your means. after the endless pains and the deafening noise, you like to think that’s what makes this relationship worth fighting for.

“does my opinion still matter knowing that? will you let me stop you?”

“no, i won’t. i’d make you change your mind.”

if you had a machine connected to you, she would see how your heart rate has gone off the charts. but you’re known to say whatever’s on your mind and that, much to your dismay, isn’t switched off despite sitting infront of the woman who birthed and raised the love of your life.

you sniffle, pursing your lips nervously. “but i feel like there might be a right answer to that one.”

what you didn’t expect was her to laugh until her belly hurts; placing a hand over her mouth in an effort to calm herself down and keep grace.

“mom! stop, i’m so embarrassed!”

“no, ____, don’t get me wrong!”

she is teary-eyed as she gathers herself together.

“the more time i spend with you, the more i realize why jungkook loves you so much. i’ve seen him show incredible commitment twice. do you know that? first, when he went to seoul to become a singer. second, when he told us he got an apartment because he wants to be with you… of course, as his mother, i’ll admit that he’s young when he made those decisions, but he always proves to me that he’s smart and responsible.”

the urge to cry returns and strengthens as she speaks. you feel your eyelashes become damp with unshed tears. you don’t know how to act. you fiddle with your fingers. you stare at the strings and peels of the oranges you can still taste.

“i believe we both know jungkook’s personality well. he wouldn’t have let me stop him either. i’m happy to know that you’ll fight for him too.”

“thank you…”

“tsk, tsk, tsk- what is there to cry about? jungkook will get angry at me if he discovers that i made you cry.”

she wipes away your tears; however, the unmistakable scent of oranges that has clung to her hands and the affection in her tone bring forth a waterfall.

“seeing this makes me sadder.” she laments, referring to the stitches on your face.

“me too,” you babble in the midst of quiet sobs. “it makes me sad. it’s so ugly.”

—

you can’t remember the last time you felt this alone. perhaps it’s the effect of staying in an unfamiliar building of complete strangers. without your mobile phone, may you add. you managed to persuade jungkook’s mother to leave an hour ago because you didn’t want her to sleep on the uncomfortable couch.

the lights are turned off except for the lamp beside your bed, and with the television muted, you could hear a hairpin drop.

you’re alone and you can do whatever you want.

you dragged the visitor’s chair infront of the window to admire the garden like it’s a painting in motion. you watched people converse, stroll, and drink coffee. you watched them run for shelter when the clouds became too heavy and the sky began to fall. oh, so that’s why you couldn’t see the stars.

at this moment, there’s nothing left to amuse yourself with but the trembling of the leaves and the raindrops forming temporary rings when they fall in the water fountain.

your senses crave for more. you reach over and crack open the window, just enough to allow the sound of the rain and the scent of it permeating the earth to enter your room.

“this is kind of peaceful.” you whisper, amazed by the new lightness carried by your heart.

you close your eyes and you breathe in the petrichor deeply. you want nature in your lungs as a reminder that you’re alive. you welcome the cold wind kissing your face. you can feel your hair touching your neck. you always do, but for once, you’re choosing to acknowledge it. your thumb slowly brushes across the palm of your hand, perceiving the texture of your skin, the softness, and the lines. and your feet, they’re in the clouds, the fluffy slippers jungkook’s mother bought outside because she knows they’re your favorite to wear.

you’ve loved and despised this body for a million different reasons. your mind and heart have accepted defeat countless times, but your body wakes up to every brand new day without fail. your body implores you to live. did it finally give up on you today?

“baby!”

you look behind to search for the source of the sound.

you get your answer from the kiss planted on your lips.

you only saw his face for a split second, but even if you had your eyes closed, you’d know it has to be jungkook kissing you.

you can smell him. you’ve memorized the way the shape of his lips fits with yours.

oh, the sounds of his kisses too. you like to call them the butterfly call because they make butterflies appear in your stomach.

you could trace the scar on his cheek with your finger if you want to.

god, what a privilege it is to experience life in this vessel.

a knock on the door forces you to part too early. the same nurse from earlier enters and you internally scream all the curse words in your dictionary. jungkook acknowledges her with a bow and a quick ‘hello’ before squatting down infront of you.

“i committed another crime for you today.”

“huh?”

your wide, confused eyes take a glimpse at the nurse who is doing something with the controls of your iv line.

hahaha… she knows he’s not serious, right?

“what did you do?”

his smile is so big that his eyes have turned into little crescent moons. you’d make a guess but there is an infinite amount of things jungkook could possibly be this excited about.

…apparently, one of them would be strawberry cake.

you gape at the transparent box he was hiding behind his back all along.

“did you steal somebody’s birthday cake?!”

“it’s a producer’s birthday and he received lots of cakes, so he told me i can take one home.”

“how is it stealing if he allowed you to take it?”

he tosses his backpack on the couch as he sets down the box on the table. he rummages through the bag his mother left behind, successfully bringing out a spoon. meanwhile, you get your blood pressure taken again.

as he opens the box, he sends a smirk your way.

“no. i hid the strawberry cake because there’s so many who wanted to eat it.”

“are you crazy?!”

the nurse clicks her tongue. “don’t talk and stay still, please.”

“oh,” your hand flies to your mouth on instinct. “i’m sorry.”

“i’m sorry.” jungkook also apologizes.

you and your boyfriend secretly share a look, exchanging a smile that is stifled laughter inside. your lips remain zipped as the nurse restarts the process of taking your blood pressure. on the other hand, jungkook eats a spoonful of cake, teasingly wiggling his eyebrows at you. you roll your eyes and he tries harder to laugh without a sound.

seconds later, he grumbles about the room being too warm. he wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead using the back of his hand, and he does the worst thing he could possibly do at this moment. he reaches for his back, pulling his sweater over his head. naturally, his inner shirt rides up and allows wandering eyes a peak at his glorious toned abdomen.

passed out in the shower. busted your eyebrow open. front-row seat for a woman flirting and ogling at your boyfriend.

how fucking great.

“hello? i think it’s done.” you snap.

“a-ah, yes.”

you hear her swallow as she removes the cuff from your arm. she may be wearing a mask but she’s hot and red all the way to her ears. you’ve only read about it in books. you didn’t even believe this could happen in real life until now.

“i will check your temperature too.”

“go on.”

you repeat the same process from hours earlier, drumming your fingers on your thigh as you wait for the beep.

“yah, why is the window open? you’ll catch a cold.”

jungkook, yet again, steals the attention of every person in the room when he rises to his feet. his shadow casts over you as he closes the window.

“i wanted to smell the rain.”

“is the room getting too stuffy for you?”

you shrug. “i just wanted to smell the rain.”

you feel the nurse’s stare. you offer her a smile and her nameplate briefly gets caught by your vision. kang ji-woo.

“ji-woo; that’s a pretty name.” you pay her a sincere compliment. “it’s healing, don’t you think?”

“yes? uh-uhm, y-yes…” she replies, unsure and confused by the sudden small talk. “actually, it’s been linked to a reduction in stress and anxiety levels.”

“thank you! babe, did you hear that?”

“uhuh, think about my stress and anxiety levels.” he leans against the window with his arms crossed, raising an eyebrow at you.

so now he’s flexing his arm muscles. cool, cool, cool. you know he’s not doing it on purpose and his entire existence is just naturally hot and it’s infuriating.

“i’ve been worried sick about you all day.”

his statement makes you frown for a new reason. at the same moment, the thermometer beeps.

“could you please tell him that i’m fine?”

“37.3, uhhh- that’s slightly above normal. how do you feel? does your head hurt? are you cold?”

“i feel fine though?”

“okay. please take a lot of rest and stay warm…” her gaze lingers at jungkook who is blocking the window. “keep the window closed. hopefully it won’t be higher when i check again later.”

seriously?! you could cry. you want to go home where it’s comfortable. where it’s only you and jungkook and bam.

but you bet somebody would be happy if you had to stay longer.

“i’ll look after ____.” your boyfriend sighs, pulling out a jacket from his backpack.

“you shouldn’t have kissed me. what if you get sick?”

your blatantness causes the nurse to pause in updating your chart. she awkwardly clears her throat. “yeah… that… that isn’t currently advisable.”

“i’m sorry. i’ll control myself.”

you earn a glare from jungkook, then he fakes a smile which you gladly return.

“before you go, may i request for a new blanket? sorry, i spilled something earlier.”

“sure thing! i’ll come back with that right away.”

—

“she seemed happy to leave.” jungkook remarks. “i can’t tell if you were actually being nice or being passive aggressive.”

you smile innocently, taking a bite off the strawberry you stole from the top of the cake. “i’m a fucking angel.”

damn it, why is he suddenly turned on?

were you serious about the no kiss rule?

“would you rather i be the type to pull their hair?”

he shakes his head with a laugh. “but you did slap someone once.”

“you want to see me that furious again?”

“never in my wildest dreams.”

he kisses the top of your head, producing an exaggerated ‘mmmwah!’ sound that makes you giggle happily.

“here, have some more cake.”

he offers you a spoonful of cake.

no, it’s bigger.

as a matter of fact, the piece could probably pass off as a cupcake.

you gawk at it as if you’re figuring out the logistics of putting it in your mouth. his heart does a flip when you tilt your head and do your best to take in the whole thing. however, in the middle of it, you decide that you can’t, and you end up biting it off a little more than halfway.

oh my god, he loves you. he loves you. you’re so fucking cute.

your cheeks are full as you struggle to chew. you cover your mouth with your hand but they don’t touch. you’re so elegant in your ways and sometimes he wonders how you’re still attracted to him after he acts stupid.

also, plain white nails? that’s new. you always want colors.

“your nails look pretty.”

he is so focused on you that he fails to take notice of another presence occupying the room.

“your mom did them for me.”

“i figured. she wants to do mother-daughter things with you.”

the short break of silence speaks volumes. you look at him, blinking with eyes hinting at a type of joy you’re lost on how to express.

“did you choose white?”

“no. we were watching a drama and it was the couple’s wedding.”

oh, that makes total sense.

“let me guess,” he trails off with a half-embarrassed, half-entertained smile. “she asked when we will get married?”

“why would she ask me that? how would i know?” you scoff.

his heart starts at a thousand miles per hour. fuck, are you hinting at him? are you messing with his feelings again? with you, he always needs to remind himself to be rational.

“i need more time to prove to you that i’m husband material.”

“what? stop it. i don’t care. i don’t need a ring.”

your unpredictableness pushes him to the edge of his seat.

“don’t pressure yourself. you already treat me way better than most husbands do their wives.”

the pride painted on your face is unmistakable. he feels his heart swelling in his chest. has he been doing a better job than he originally thought? after what happened today, he was terrified that he hasn’t been paying enough attention to you.

“i’m so happy with what we have.”

you offer him a delicate smile before eating the rest of the cake that was left on the spoon. he swears there’s a glowing halo above your head.

could your temperature have magically dropped in the past five minutes? would you kill him if he kissed you right now?

“is there anything else i could assist you with?”

and then he is rudely snapped out of his hopeless adoration and daydreaming.

“that’s all! thank you for your hard work!” you chirp.

he turns to the nurse with a lovesick grin.

“please come to our wedding.”

the unforeseen wedding invitation earns him a slap on the chest. he clutches the affected area, wincing in pain.

he hears you mutter. “don’t invite strangers to our wedding.”

the irritated glare he predicted to face isn’t there. rather, you’re wearing the flustered smile he only sees when he knows that he did something to make you fall for him all over again.

before ji-woo left, she tried to subtly reject the invitation by jokingly saying that she’d die to go, but most probably, she’d have to work that day. you know… being an overworked hospital employee and all. you caught her glancing at you with bitterness failed to be guised as indifference. you get it. you’d hate it if another person was in your place. frankly speaking, you could be miles pettier.

your boyfriend wipes the corner of your lips, thoughtless as he licks off the cake frosting from his thumb.

damn it, you wish she was also here for that.

“you haven’t stopped smiling.”

“you love me and you never let me forget that.”

you give an answer despite the lack of a question mark.

you just made his world stop spinning on its axis and you’re not even aware.

jungkook knows the heavenly feeling of knowing that he is loved, but he has never deeply considered the joy and relief when the person he loves believes that he loves them.

“i’m so lucky. i love you.”

you push yourself up to plant a kiss on his forehead. it’s a rarity he treasures and keeps.

“i love you too.”

he cries infront of you.

almost.

he excuses himself to the bathroom and cries in there a little.

you’re so easy to love— that’s why it makes him want to do difficult things for you. like commit more crimes?

#jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook one shot #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook au #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #bts fluff #bts reaction #jungkook smut

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0097linersb · 2 months

Text

Sour Candy (m)

Pairings: Mingi x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 5k~

Warnings: Very very very needy Mingi, wouldn't say exactly sub!mingi but kind of sub!mingi u know, good boi´s just very desperate. consent lines are kind of blurred in this one so pls skip if it makes u uncomfortable, this was just written in like an hour with absolutely no thoughts or grammar-checking, head empty only filled with crying whiny men <3

Follow me on twitter: wooyosgfreal <3

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

“What time did Yunho say he was coming back again?” You asked for about the fourth time that afternoon.

“In like an hour or two,” Mingi answered patiently like he did all the other times you asked before. “Bro, why do you hate me?”

“Because you keep making me play this boring game and it really fucking sucks.”

“That´s just because you´re bad at it.”

“You´re literally worse than me.”

“Maybe modernity was wrong all along, maybe women really shouldn´t be allowed to have opinions.”

“It is a fact, not an opinion. Maybe you men should still be in planes being shipped off to war and leave us alone.”

“Fine. Do you want to play something else, princess?”

“Let´s play Overcooked,” You squealed.

Mingi didn´t even groan this time when you mentioned the game you and Seonghwa were obsessing over lately, simply going back to the home screen on Yunho´s Playstation and looking for the colorful icon. He knew there was no arguing with you.

While the game was loading, Mingi handed you the main controller and stood up, fixing his shirt that had scrunched up and stretching his back, “Set everything up, I´m gonna go find some snacks.”

You happily did as told, driving your little animated truck towards the level you had last failed at and playing with your phone to wait for your friend, at least until your vision was blocked by said friend pushing a red plastic bag in front of your face.

“What´s that?” You asked, already reaching into the bag and picking up one of the soft candies inside.

Mingi simply shrugged, already chewing on one of the jellies, “Dunno, found them in the kitchen. They´re pretty good though.”

You trusted his words, popping the candy into your mouth and waiting for the flavors to kick in - and hell you wish you didn´t.

“Oh my god this is disgusting,” Your face contorts in distaste.

“It´s cinnamon,” Mingi stares you down, clearly not amused.

“Yeah, with candle wax. Ew.”

“Just swallow it and stop being a baby.”

“I will literally kill myself.”

He gave you another judgmental glare and sat down next to you on the couch once again, already reaching for his third candy from hell as you forced yourself to let it slide down your throat. You handed him the main remote and picked up the secondary one, coughing to see if flowing some air into your lungs would get the taste of rotten papaya out of your mouth.

“Maybe it´s poison that Yunho left out as a trap because you keep stealing his food.”

“Nah, it was right on top of the counter,” He waved it off, pressing play on the game.

“My point stands.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“You´re very eloquent today.”

“You´re very annoying today.”

“The salmon Mingi, the fucking salmon!!”

“I´m getting it!”

“Bro, you gotta throw it!”

“Fuck. I know, but if I leave the fucking rice is going to burn.”

“I´m throwing you more rice.”

“I don´t need it.”

“Yes, you do. Oh my god.”

“What I do need are some clean plates.”

“Oh, yeah. On it.”

“Why do you like this game?” He groaned, cleaning the sweat from his forehead and reaching for another candy in the bag. “You´re making me stress eat.”

“Doesn´t it make you feel pumped?”

“Yeah, pumped to punch the TV.”

“We have one more minute, we can do it if you stop being dumb.”

“There are literally two plates on the counter ready to go and you haven´t delivered them yet.”

“Jeez, done. Can you slice me some tomatoes?”

“One sec,” He answered, mouth full of yet another candy.

“It would be faster if you would just stop eating.”

“We´re not making it anyways, let me enjoy one thing at least.”

And he was right: a few seconds later the TV screen was filled with the sad numbers displaying how you didn´t reach the minimum score - didn´t even come close to it in fact.

Mingi let out his frustrations by popping the nth white jelly past his lips and you stared at him in disgust, reaching for the bag to understand what that malevolent creation even was.

“Huh...”

“What?” He asked.

“Hm, I mean, this is all in German or Dutch but I´m pretty sure this word means aphrodisiac.”

“Come again?” His mouth was hanging open mid chew, unblinking eyes staring at you.

“Hm, yeah. Wasn´t Yunho´s friend just in Amsterdam? The one with the big smile? Maybe he brought those as a souvenir, since you know, it´s Amsterdam. Like, ‘haha look at this candy that makes you horny´.”

“Oh, yeah. But it´s like a placebo touristy thing, right?” He laughed nervously. “Like, these won´t actually make me horny, right?”

“Nah, I don´t think this kind of stuff works. It´s probably just for shit and giggles. Do you feel any different?”

“I don´t know, my heart is beating faster. I think I´m going to die.”

“Mingi, relax. Now it´s probably just because you´re nervous.”

“No, what if there´s some kind of drug in these? I ate almost 10 of them! Oh my god I´m going to die. Am I going to overdose, Y/N? What if I start hallucinating?”

He was being a bit overdramatic, but he did have genuine concerns.

“Wait, let me call Yunho.”

Mingi didn´t even hear you, too busy at his own pity party as he whined and stared at the bag´s labels like he could suddenly speak Dutch.

“Y/N?” Yunho´s voice filled your ears.

“Hm, hi. Sorry to bother you at work but we´ve kind of got a situation.”

“Oh my god, did Mingi break my door playing with the bar? I already told him-”

“No, nothing like that. Huh, do you know that candy that you left on the kitchen counter?”

“What? No. What cand- Oh. Oh.”

“Huh, yeah. So... Mingi found it and ate like 10 of them?”

“Y/N.”

“Is that bad? He´s kind of freaking out, he´s afraid there´s like drugs in them or something.”

“There are some stimulants in them but like, in minor quantities. He won´t die because of it. But bro, bro.”

“What?” You whined, Yunho´s tone making you anxious.

“He had 10 of them? San had like 3 and said he was at it for hours.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“So I guess these do work, huh?”

“Haven´t tried them, but from what San says it´s some strong shit. Did you take any?”

“Just like one, tastes like organic trash.”

“Yeah, good. Let me know how it goes, please just stay out of my bedroom.”

“Your bedroom? Why would- What are you trying to imply, Jeong Yunho?”

“Oh shit, client calling. Byeee,” He laughed. “Stupid.”

As soon as you put your phone away, Mingi stopped talking to himself like a mad man and stared at you with big hopeful eyes.

“I have good news and bad news.”

“Am I going to die?”

“That´s the good news: no, you´re not. No.”

“And what are the bad news?”

“Apparently you will get very horny, though.”

He froze at your words, looking down at his pants, “I don´t feel it, though.”

“Maybe you won´t, it might be different for everyone,” You shrug, standing up and grabbing your sweater. “All I know is that I am leaving because if it does happen, that´s not a sight I want to be here for.”

“Please no,” Mingi whined, literally throwing himself on his knees to catch your arm before you could walk away. “Don´t leave me alone here. I just ingested unknown substances, what if my body reacts badly and I actually die? What if I throw up and drown in my own puke here all alone?”

Once again, over-dramatic but right.

“Yeah, you´re right,” You sighed. “I would still rather die than see you with a boner so here´s what we´re gonna do: I´m locking myself in Yunho´s room and you can freely roam the apartment and do whatever you want, I´ll check up on you every few minutes. Sounds good?”

“Yeah, ok,” Mingi agreed.

“Also, if you´re going to like - ” You motioned vaguely towards his pants hoping he would get what you were trying to say. “Give me a heads up so I can put on some earphones.”

“Oh my god,” He whined in shame, cheeks going flush. “Yeah, ok.”

“Ok, good. Huh, bye,” You awkwardly waved as you made your way towards Yunho´s room. “Good luck.”

You closed the door behind you, hearing as Mingi opened some other game back in the living room. There was not much to do in Yunho´s room so you decided to lay in bed and scroll through Tiktok until Mingi stopped thinking he was going to die and you could leave. Also, you did eat one of the candies too, so you guessed that if they did work, you would feel it as well.

10 minutes later you still heard Mingi normally playing and cursing outside, but you still decided to yell out an “Everything good?” just to be sure.

“Yeah!” Was his answer.

Another 15 minutes went by, and you shot him a text.

Not dead yet?

Mings: Still good, I don´t think these things actually work.

Maybe Yunho was just messing with us.

Mings: Yeah, fucking asshole.

You went back to watching your silly little videos, not even noticing the time passing or how everything suddenly went quiet outside. Over half an hour had gone by when your ears finally perked up at the lack of your friend´s loudness.

You sat up in bed worried.

You good?

No answer.

Mingi?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You were already picturing his dead body looking all stupid on Yunho´s carpet, thinking about how you were going to explain to the paramedics that he died because he ate too much horny candy.

No, even worse: How would you explain this to his family?

Oh, no. Not your best friend. How would you live without him? You liked teasing him and you bickered a lot but you love-

Your little spiral of insanity was interrupted by a knock on the door and your body was finally able to move after how it had been paralyzed with fear for a few minutes.

“Mingi?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, thank god. You scared the shit out of me,” You took a deep breath in relief, staring at Yunho´s white door. “What´s up?”

“Huh, can I come in?”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his tone.

Something sounded weird about this.

“Sure,” You answered skeptically.

Mingi opened the door and came in, head cast down and gaze not meeting your eyes.

“What´s wrong-” You started asking worriedly, about to jump out of the bed to go check up on him before your eyes finally zeroed in on the very prominent bulge in his pants. “Song Mingi! What the fuck?”

“I- I don´t know what to do,” His eyes finally met yours, cheeks tinted in pink and hands trembling. He looked at you like a kicked puppy.

“And what do I have to do with it? Go deal with it yourself. Eeew, we talked about this,” You raised your hand in the air to try and block the bottom half of Mingi from your line of vision.

“I already did,” He groaned, rubbing his face in frustration. “Twice.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Nothing fucking works - and also, I just can´t stop thinking about you.”

“What?” You never heard your voice go so high before. “Nuh uh, we´re not going there. Absolutely not.”

“I´m not happy about it either, ok?” His fingers were squeezing the corner of the door so thigh they were almost white. “Just please, help me out this once. Please.”

Oh.

You just prayed that the reason you started clenching around nothing was because the candy was finally kicking in and not because stupid Song Mingi was practically begging in front of you.

“No!” You screeched, weirded out by your own sudden reaction. “This isn´t you talking, it´s just th stupid candy, you´ll regret it after it wears off -”

“No but I won´t,” He disagreed, closing the door and rushing towards you like a madman in three large strides.

You had never seen him like this, you never once in a million years could have gone as far as even imagining the look in his eyes right now.

“Fuck. It´s just - your skin is so soft, you know?” Mingi pushed the covers to the side so his hand could squeeze your thigh, his knees dipping into the mattress as he crawled on top of you. You were too shocked to move away, frozen in place with your mouth open wide, not really knowing what to do as he rubbed the palm of his hands up and down your skin, squeezing it occasionally with a heavy breath like he had just reached heaven´s gate.

“Mingi,” You warned, but your voice didn´t sound that threatening anymore.

“Please, just once,” He breathed out, practically rubbing himself against your body like a cat in heat forcing you to slowly lie back in the bed, his hands gently guiding yours over your head as you slid down. You looked up at his glazed eyes, at the way his hands were shaking around your wrists, the way he was discreetly rutting against your thigh without even realizing he was doing it. He looked so vulnerable and frenzied – And it was doing something to you.

“Mingi,” You whined, not even sure what you were trying to say or do.

“You kept walking around with this white top all day,” He let out a broken groan, looking down at said top. “Your boobs look amazing in it. I just- I – Can I?”

His begging eyes were enough to get you automatically nodding before even realizing what you were agreeing to - When you did process what he was asking for though, his right hand was already squeezing your boobs and kneading at them like his life depended on it, his calloused fingers firm on your body. You could feel how hard he was every time he subconsciously ground against you, shaky hot breaths leaving his lips and hitting the sensitive skin on the side of your neck where his plump soft lips kept lightly brushing against with every move.

Mingi took advantage of the position, sucking against your vein and leaving pleas in the form of little kisses around your skin. His thumb played with your nipple and your hands were still abandoned on top of your head against the sheets, not sure if you would really let this happen yet - but Mingi didn´t seem to mind, too lost in worshipping you into compliance.

“I need to fuck you. Like, right now. I´ll - I´ll make you feel good too, I promise,” The shakier and breathier his voice sounded the wetter you got. “I promise. I promise. Please. We -we don´t even need to fuck I can – I can – Let me – Just the tip- Anything-”

“Just the tip?”

“Yeah,” He eagerly nodded, his eyes so hopeful you could melt.

“Ok,” You agreed, physically not being able to say no to his pleading eyes.

“Fuck,” He groaned in surprise, not actually thinking you would agree to it - But since you did, he wasted no time and made quick work of practically ripping your cotton short down your legs in one harsh tug. “Under normal circumstances I would, you know – But, I – right now I – I can´t.”

“It´s ok,” You assured, afraid he would actually cry if you made him wait another single second with how desperate he was.

He hooked his finger on the bottom of your panties and pushed them to the side, not even being able to take them out. He stared at your pussy for a moment, his eyes looking even more insane than before at the sight, like he would actually growl at you.

“Fuck,” Mingi cursed as he went out of the little trance he was in, pushing his sweater pants and boxers down in a rush - once again not even bothering with taking them all out.

And oh fuck.

His cock was so hard you could imagine how it actually hurt; it throbbed against the skin of his abdomen without even being touched, looking swollen and angry with all the veins surrounding it - And man were you glad you agreed on just the tip because there was just no way that would fit without a lot of preparation first. Even with how wet you were right now. Who knew?

Mingi leaned on top of you once again, one arm supporting the weight of his body in between your legs as he gently guided his dick up and down your folds, his eyes closing at the feeling, a violent shiver taking over his thighs and up his spine with a loud groan.

Like he had absolutely no control over his body, Mingi positioned himself against your entrance, slowly pushing just a little bit in as promised.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” His groans sounded so raw against your ear as he cursed over the initial resistance of your walls, his forehead meeting your neck to try and ground himself.

You even let a moan out yourself because this was absolute madness, it felt insane. Your whole body was buzzing like you were electrified, your fingers ached to scratch Mingi´s back and pull him all the way in - Damn, those candies were good.

And you only had one.

“Y/N, fuck,” Mingi gasped as he started moving his hips in shallow little thrusts so he wouldn´t break your agreement. “Ah - Ah. I can´t think strai - You´re so pretty. Fuck, fuck.”

His lips met your neck once again, messy kisses full of saliva and teeth as he shuddered on top of you, leaving marks that would soon turn purple. You could feel how tense every single muscle in his body was as he fought against himself to not rut deeper into you every time he moved, and you were biting onto your lip so hard to keep the noises inside that you could taste blood.

“Thank you, thank you,” You shivered at the way cold air hit your neck when Mingi pulled back a bit to look you in the eye, “Can I go ah- a little deeper, please? Just a little. It feels so good, I need ah- more. Fuck.”

“Mingi.”

“Please,” He cried out and you just couldn´t believe the sight in front of you.

Tall big strong Song Mingi with the deep voice, reduced to a disheveled delirious mess. His ashy blond hair rumpled, his cheeks burning pink and skin glistening with sweat, his pupils huge and shiny and he just looked so disheartened that it was breaking your heart to not let him just use you however he wanted.

“I need you,” He agonized, his right arm clinging onto your shoulder like you would run away from him if you could, so out of it that he was already pushing deeper into you without even noticing, eyes shut so tightly at the sensation of your walls around him. “Please, please, please, please,” It was like a mantra.

He was far gone.

And kind of so were you.

You whine in pain and raspy moans left Mingi´s soft lips every time he thrust back into you, hitting farther each time, “I´m sorry, baby. I´m sorry. You can take it right? Ah – Just a bit more, I promise. Fuck. I´m almost ah- in. Why do you smell so good? It´s driving me ah – insane.”

It hurt, it did hurt, but you also didn´t seem to mind that he was practically splitting you open when his voice sounded this pretty apologizing for it.

The speed and strength of his hips started picking up to match his urgency, his plush lips were open so captivatingly and his weight was now supported by both arms so he could pistol into you. He didn´t have a specific angle or rhythm to it, his moves were strictly instinctual and carnal, your nails finally finding your way down his back to keep yourself anchored to reality.

“You´re so so so beautiful, fuck. Your lips - can´t stop thinking about them around my ah- cock. Will you show me?”

You loved how broken his voice sounded.

“Yeah, baby. Whatever you want.”

He shuddered once again at your words, “I´m so close.”

“Me too,” You nodded, still doing your very best to not let noises of pleasure escape past your lips – and kind of failing.

“Let me hear you,” Mingi growls, managing to somehow snake his hand in between your bodies to start drawing quick circles on your clit. “Please, I love your voice.”

You wouldn´t be able to hold back even if you wanted to.

His chaotic rhythm had an appeal of its own, every broken moan that left his mouth drew you closer to the edge until you finally reached it. Your vision went black, nails digging into Mingi´s biceps so harshly you would feel bad for it later, every muscle in your body tightening as it all washed over you in a devastating wave, leaving your body in the form of gasps and breathy moans.

“Oh my god, fuck,” Mingi cursed at the way your walls were clenching so tightly around him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He wouldn´t slow down and you were still coming down from your high, twitching with the aftershocks as the oversensitivity quickly began to rise, but you decided to ignore it the best you couldand push through it - you could tell Mingi was close anyway with the way his thrusts became even more erratic, and his voice went up with every moan.

You were mesmerized by his glossy unfocused eyes, the frown on his forehead, so frantic to get what he needed by ramming into you. He looked so pretty like this, you wanted to destroy him-

Wow.

Wait.

Now where did that come from?

“Shit, I´m gonna- Fuck, fuck.”

You watched as his whole body froze for a second before violently shaking, his eyes shot so tightly he was probably seeing white as he continued thrusting into you to ride his orgasm to the end as you felt something warm hitting your walls. And his moans, oh his moans – I mean, you were not deaf, you had always been well-aware that Mingi had an attractive voice, but to hear it like this, so raw and relieved, was truly something else.

Mingi let out one last broken cry as he slowly stopped moving, dropping his weight on top of you to catch his breath, chest heaving up and down against your ribcage as his muscles continued twitching here and there. You took advantage of the moment to get yourself together too, stabilizing your breathing and trying to figure out what the hell just happened as you two went down, but you also kind of expected Mingi to say something or try to joke around a bit to lessen the burden of the fact that the two of you just fucked - and when he didn´t, well, you started getting worried.

You were mustering up the courage to say something after the two minutes of silence when the last thing you expected to happen, happened.

Your eyes were blown wide, “Mingi-”

“I can´t stop, I´m sorry-” He whined, his still rock-solid cock now slowly moving inside of you once again, rutting into you like he had absolutely no control over himself.

He was still hard?

Wasn´t this like his third time already?

His whole body was shaking in overstimulation but he wouldn´t stop grinding into you, “I´m sorry.”

“Mingi,” You tried pulling away from him thinking that´s what he was asking for.

“No, don´t. Ah- Need you,” He desperately grabbed onto your thighs and wrapped them around his hips, your chests flushed against each other's as he hid his forehead on your neck to keep fucking deep into you. Literal whines of pain were leaving his lips, it was like he was an animal incapable of rational thoughts, and it was making you feel dizzy.

“Mingi, love. You´re going to hurt yourself.”

“No, feels so ah- Just one more,” He moaned, body shuddering. His whines got you clenching involuntarily around him, suddenly realizing you were kind of close to the edge already. “Please.”

You felt a strong bite on your shoulder disguising a groan, the animalistic act crashed with how smoothly he was sliding in and out of you, but it also showed how deranged he was at the moment. You tightened your thighs around Mingi´s hips and pulled at the hair on his nape, not bothering with trying to cover up your moans anymore.

Mingi took the action as permission and started gradually moving his hips faster, broken little whines getting louder and more frequent each second until he was once again supported by both his arms and pistoling into you.

“I can´t - I can´t,” His voice was so shaky, so broken. “I - Please.”

And then your whole world stopped as you watched the first tear roll down Mingi´s cheek.

You were mesmerized, you wanted to frame it.

“It hurts,” He whimpered, another tear falling, followed by another and then another.

“You´re almost there,” You cooed, deciding to be useful to the poor giant man breaking down on top of you. “Aren´t you? So close.”

Mingi nodded, blinking harshly to clear his vision which resulted in more tears running down his face. You just couldn´t help supporting your weight onto your elbow so you could lean up and hold his jaw, kissing the salty traces across his cheeks until his face was clean. He immediately started shaking, moans growing whinier and choppier, his thrusts started losing their patterns as he plowed into you like his life depended on it, entering a mental state he never knew existed before.

His right hand grabbed your thigh with enough force to bruise it badly as he came for what you imagined was the fourth time in an hour, holding you so close that you could feel his cock hitting impossible places deep inside of you. Mingi was breathing so hard you were kind of worried for his well-being but the noises leaving his lips assured you he was feeling pleasure at least as his nose found its place on your neck once again.

“Feeling better?” You asked once he had calmed down a little.

“Kind of,” He pushed back to look at you with a low chuckle, his eyes looking a tad bit saner already. “But I also kind of need to eat you out.”

You felt his dick twitch inside of you at his own words and how the fuck was that even possible?

A painful whimper left his lips at the slight stimulation, already way past oversensitive, “Please?”

He had the nerve to pout.

#mingi smut #ateez #ateez smut #mingi #song mingi #mingi ateez #mingi fic #mingi x reader #mingi fanfic #mingi scenarios #mingi oneshot

2K notes · View notes

fxllfaiiry · 1 year

Text

─ you're the sunflower ੈ✩‧₊˚

✶ pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader

✶ synopsis: everyone on the team loves you, expect miguel who seems to hate you more than anyone.

✶ warnings: angst!! major angst. sunshine!reader x grumpy!miguel. reader is nicknamed sunflower, mentions of death.

✶ notes: there's one spanish sentence in this, I'm not good with spanish so if I've made a mistake please tell me so i can fix it! part two is already up!!!

Everyone on the team loved you from the moment you joined, everyone, except Miguel.

You knew Miguel was cold towards everyone, but he was extra cold with you. Maybe it was because of how different your personalities were.

You were the embodiment of sunshine, always positive in any situation, putting others before yourself. Hence why everyone calls you sunflower, it fits perfectly, Miles was proud of coming up with it.

Miguel on the other hand was cold and distant but that didn't stop you from trying to get him to open up. You'd try to have simple conversations with him but nothing, all you would receive in reply was an eye roll or a slight grunt, but you wouldn't give up that easily.

Like today, you got him some coffee.

"Morning, boss. Got you some coffee." You said in your usual cheerful tone.

"Why?" He raised his eyebrows, looking down at you suspiciously. That's the most he's said to you all week.

"Because I wanted to." You shrugged, placing it down on his desk.

He steped down walking towards his desk, you couldn't help but stare at him, unfortunately for you, everything about him was so attractive, it's such a shame he hated you.

"This isn't how I like my coffee."

"Huh?" You snapped out of your daydream at the sound of his voice.

"The coffee, it tastes terrible. Get it from another place next time."

"Well, actually I made it-" But he had already walked away from you not listening to a word you said. "Alright, never mind, I'll just go back to work." You mumbled hurt by his words.

"Wait, hold on." You looked up, thinking, maybe he'll say something nice after all.

"Yeah?"

"Take the coffee with you, I won't be drinking it."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Girl, why do you look so sad? Did Miguel do something again?" Jess asked with a frown, she did not like seeing you sad.

"No."

"Sunflower…"

"Okay, yes." Miguel being cold towards you was normal, he never spoke to you unless necessary. Out of everyone here, he probably hated you the most, even more than Miles.

"Sunflower, I've told you to stop trying." Jess sighed.

"I know, I know… why does he hate me so much, Jess?"

"That's just the way he is, don't overthink it. It's his loss, baby." She replied, gently patting your shoulder.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Today was going to be a good day, you were so sure of it.

But, of course, you were wrong.

Everything was going great up until a few hours ago.

Miguel had assigned you on a mission to catch an anomaly, alongside a few other spider-people. His instructions were clear, stick to the plan and catch the anomaly. It was supposed to be simple.

If only you didn't disobey him. You screwed up badly, and because of that, you could have been killed.

"Why don't you ever listen?" Miguel shouted. No one had ever seen him this angry.

"I was just tryin-"

"¡Ay, por el amor de Dios!" Being yelled at by your boss in front of your coworkers was humiliating, everyone was looking at you with pity.

"I'm sick of this, why can’t you follow simple instructions? Is it that hard to understand?" He barked, towering over you.

"It's not a big deal." You tried to keep your composure, you didn't want to humiliate yourself further by bursting into tears.

"Not a big deal? You could've died! A simple mistake would have ruined the whole mission."

Don't cry. Don't cry.

"But we're all fine, aren't we?" You weakly chuckled. That was the wrong thing to say because it only made him angrier.

"Oh? If that's the attitude you have then you shouldn't even be on the team." Ouch.

"Miguel, I think that's enough-" Hobie said, quickly jumping in.

"Not now, Hobie." He growled.

Never once did you think that you'd be in a situation like this.

"If you put more focus on trying to be good at your job, rather than impressing me, we wouldn't even be here!" Oh, so he did notice that.

At this point, tears were streaming freely down your face and you made no attempt to stop them.

"Yep, you got it, boss." You smiled up at him through your tears. It was pathetic, but you did not care, you just wanted to leave and never come back.

"Next time make sure this doesn't happen."

"It won't happen next time." That's because there won't be a next time.

#📂 ‧₊˚ my works .ᐟ #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #spiderman x reader #spiderman #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #oscar isaac x reader #oscar isaac #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara angst

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everythingne · 2 months

Text

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ million dollar baby (gr63)

wolff!reader x george russell // fc: lani pliopa

Being the eldest daughter, you kept pretty much everything to yourself in favor of your siblings getting the limelight. When you start soft-launching your boyfriend after years of being quiet about who he is, everyone scrambles to find the truth.

warnings/notes: nothing really? i do have george win silverstone in this (i wrote it forever ago ok?) so just pretend he did. just pretend guys. pls.

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell, alexalbon, and others...

ynwolff: hanging with the wolff pack (+ george) back home before our home race this weekend <3

tagged: georgerussell, susiewolff, mercedesamg

mercedesamg: refueling for a great weekend ahead !!

user: the photo of jack and george shut up

lilymhe: WHOOO??? FLOWERS??? HELLO??

⤷ ynwolff: shut up shut up ur gonna summon alex shh

⤷ alexalbon: BITCH WHAT?

logansargeant: @ ynwolff , alex and lily are literally losing it over this.

⤷ ynwolff: greaaaattt 🫠

user: is george driving in the second pic??

⤷ user: no bc who else would have a convertible mercedes if not george russell

georgerussell: i still think the trunk is unnesscessary

⤷ ynwolff: shut uP RUSSELL???

user: imagine being rich enough to have huge flower bouquets in the back of your mercedes... i could cry

susiewolff: oh, this is where all the flowers came from?

⤷ ynwolff: 😀 yes ! they are mine !

⤷ susiewolff: ur father has extra vases in the downstairs bathroom

⤷ ynwolff: thank uuu xx

liked by susiewolff, georgerussell, landonorris, and others...

ynwolff: silvastone day one baby !! (expect insane spam this weekend.)

tagged: susiewolff, mercedesamg

lewishamilton: i need the bono photo for... reasons...

⤷ ynwolff: im gonna start paying you for using my wolff charm to get blackmail

⤷ lewishamilton: i literally buy you so much food atp shut up

⤷ ynwolff: 🩵

mickschumacher: glad the gloves are getting use

user: oh to be yn

mercedesamg: those flowers are as beautiful as our favorite head communications officer 🩵

⤷ ynwolff: admin when i see u tomorrow i will kiss u on the lips

⤷ mercedesamg: toto told me to stop flirting with u :(

⤷ ynwolff: booo tomato tomato tomato

user: JACK AND THE CARRR SOBBSS

susiewolff: more flowers?

⤷ ynwolff: what if i said i just really like flowers ?

⤷ susiewolff: i would say your father is suspicious

⤷ ynwolff: when is he not though..

liked by susiewolff

ynwolff added to their story!

replies...

alexalbon: does george know mystery man??

⤷ ynwolff: he's sworn to secrecy, sorry !

lewishamilton: ah yes. the peak of subtly.

landonorris: aren't you both supposed to be sleeping?

⤷ ynwolff: says you, norris. ill tell jon on you >:)

⤷ landonorris: WOW.

susiewolff: your father says both of you need to sleep

⤷ ynwolff: why are you both awake 😭

⤷ susiewolff: you know toto has like a sixth sense for you, right? he heard you leave the room.

⤷ ynwolff: LMAO okay 👍🏻 we are coming back up

⤷ ynwolff: tell dad i beat george at pool

⤷ susiewolff: he says good job

liked by ynwolff

ynwolff has added to their story!

liked by danielricciardo, logansargeant, alexalbon, and others...

ynwolff: what a quali!! p4 and p5!! so proud of my boys!

tagged: mercedesamg, roscoelovescoco, georgerussell, lewishamilton

danielricciardo: roscoe the mvp

user: jack in the chair omg

mercedesamg: a great day with great help from even the littlest wolffs!!

user: lewis in the shades og my GOD

user: another day another set of great george photos from yn

lewishamilton: did lowkey fear for my life with your father chasing me...

⤷ ynwolff: fair enough

susiewolff: a great day today :)!

logansargeant: what secrets his roscoe spill?

⤷ ynwolff: @ lewishamilton s secret to looking so good at his old age

⤷ lewishamilton: its called melanin and neither of you have it

georgerussell: thanks for all the love today yn 🩵

user: yn always takes really good photos and ten really fucking funny ones

⤷ user: shes the queen of duality

secretlifeofyn (private acc) has added to their story!

replies...

lando.jpg: shut the actual fuck up is this a date??

⤷ secretlifeofyn: remind me why i let you into this account again?

roscoesdad: fucking called it, tell george he owes me dinner

⤷ secretlifeofyn: have you ever noted the three of us always bet dinner? (george said he'd pay next time)

⤷ roscoesdad: yeah because food is the best currency, duh?

alobonoo: OH MY FUCKING GOD?

alobonoo: HELLO??

notalexsm: oh !!! oh my god !!! shut upp!!! this is george right?

⤷ secretlifeofyn: the watch gives it away, doesn't it?

⤷ notalexsm: yes (charles says congrats if this is a date!!)

⤷ secretlifeofyn: tell charles thank you <3

maxverstappen: if you need a hideout from your father after he finds this one out, we have an extra bedroom, the fee is babysitting p

⤷ secretlifeofyn: thanks max i will keep that in mind 🙏🏻

liked by alobonooo, lilgrit, lilyzneimer, and 154 others...

secretlifeofyn: everyone on this account is sworn to secrecy (because my father) but YES. WE ARE DATING. NOW SHUT UP !!!!

alobonoo: HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU GUYS HAVE A DEATH WISH

alobonoo: called this like two years ago tho i am the oracle

⤷ muninotlily: alex the oracle of georgeyn

⤷ secretlifeofyn: GEORGEYN??

lilgrit: the day toto realizes it's george you're dating, a health bar is gonna appear at the top of george's eyeline with the word 'toto' on top

⤷ ls2.priv: he stands no chance im afriad.

ls2.priv: rip george you would've loved the flintstones 💔

junior55: @ lando.jpg you owe me sushi for this

⤷ lando.jpg: @ mrsaturday how could u do this to me?

lilyzneimer: awee!!! congrats guys!!

mrsaturday: we posted this so you guys would STOP and you got WORSE

muninotlily: alex is pacing help me

⤷ lando.jpg: LOLLL HE LOST SO MANY BETS 😭

⤷ secretlifeofyn: what bets did you guys place im scared

⤷ lando.jpg: we bet george couldn't pull you

⤷ mrsaturday: i have won so much money

⤷ secretlifeofyn: if you buy me more flowers my dad is going to actually be concerned.

maxverstappen: the extra bedroom offer still stands

⤷ secretlifeofyn: thanks max we'll need it

liked by mercedesamg, susiewolff, georgerussell and others...

ynwolff: pre-race day silverstone !! <3 (not shown, the 1356 photos george took of himself when I asked him to hold my phone while i was in a meeting...)

tagged: mercedesamg, lewishamilton, georgerussell

mercedesamg: always having fun out here!!

georgerussell: i blessed your phone with my beauty

⤷ ynwolff: whatever u say georgie

⤷ user: georgie ??????

lewishamilton: the 1356 photos are funny though

landonorris: just a guy being a guy

user: the photo of george with the screen behind him feels like a meme format

user: george looks so squishy in the last picture

user: not yn getting the cutest photo of george ever??

susiewolff: your father swore that sweater wasnt going to be too much

⤷ ynwolff: not to expose him but he took it off in five minutes

⤷susiewolff: and now its missing

⤷ ynwolff: I BOUGHT HIM THAT >:(!!!

alexalbon: i demand blackmail material

⤷ ynwolff: buy me snacks and then we'll talk

liked by f1, mercedesamg, georgerussell, and more...

ynwolff: OBLIGATORY GEORGE POST !!! (approved by @ lewishamilton ok no one get mad ! i love my boys equally !)

george!! we were joking about this moment last night but you pulled it off!! i could not be more proud of the work you put in today, you pulled it off last second and made me gnaw my nails off a few times but thats okay.

so so so proud, you get a drink or two on me tonight ! 🩵

tagged: georgerussell, mercedesamg

georgerussell: IM SORRY ABOUT YOUR NAILS ILL PAY FOR NEW ONES !! 😭

⤷ georgerussell: your support does mean the world yn thank you 🩵

⤷ ynwolff: you deserve every bit of it! 🩵

lewishamilton: amazing work as always for both of you!

user: YAYYY GEORGE POST!!!

user: finally a george post to match the iconic lewis post

susiewolff: great work today @ georgerussell !

⤷ georgerussell: thank you susie :)!

mickschumacher: great job george!

user: GEORGE RUSSELL!!!!

user: god the pictures yn gets of george are... fucking AMAZING.

landonorris: mr saturday did it

alexalbon: yabadababoo

⤷ logansargeant: yabadadabadoo

⤷ georgerussell: you both suck :(

⤷ ynwolff: no!!! its cute!!!

⤷ ynwolff: no!! leave them alone :(!

⤷ user: i see that deleted comment yn. ur not slick.

liked by 9823 others...

liked by mrsaturday, alobonoo, muninotlily, and more...

secretlifeofyn: i dont remember any of these photos after the first one. how much did i drink.

roscoesdad: enough for your father to think you DIED until i told him you and george were in my room and fell asleep (you are welcome. i expect free food for a month for this selfless act.)

⤷ secretlifeofyn: i will buy you literally anything lewis oh my fucking god i owe you my LIFE

⤷ lilgrit: the question should be how much didn't you drink because holy shit

alobonoo: u drank literally everyone under the table slay

muninotlily: oh so u stayed with george ? 👀

⤷ secretlifeofyn: hes like a big pillow

⤷ mrsaturday: she's not letting me out of bed :(

maxverstappen: hate to be the bearer of bad news but twitter did catch you ! have fun!

⤷ secretlifeofyn: MAX WHAT?

⤷ mrsaturday: MAX??

lando.jpg: LOL GOOD LUCK GUYS

liked by alexalbon, landonorris, susiewolff, and others...

ynwolff: good news! george and i are dating and my dad did NOT kill him when he found out! bad news! i now have to share my location.

tagged: georgerussell

susiewolff: i think continually sneaking out and then not answering your phone for almost fifteen hours is enough reason to track you

⤷ ynwolff: susie plsssss 🩵 convince him to get rid of it?

⤷ mercedesamg: toto says thats not happening anytime soon. and to tell george curfew is ten.

⤷ ynwolff: I DONT LIVE WITH HIM ANYMORE??

⤷ georgerussell: she's gonna be back by nine if she keeps biting my arm

⤷ ynwolff: stop putting it within biting range then, russell

⤷ georgerussell: you just walked across the room to bite me.

⤷ user: LMAAOOOO YN UR SO REAL FOR THIS

user: "you'd rather i didnt" YN PLSSSS

georgerussell: remind me to never try to sneak around your father again

⤷ alexalbon: buying like nine bouquets of flowers in two days is not exactly sneaking

⤷ georgerussell: she likes flowers and i was excited :(

user: kiss ya in 11! im gonna go lay on a highway in 12!

user: i too, would fall for yn when she threatened me

landonorris: my favorite new grid couple

⤷ georgerussell: we have been dating for like two years??

⤷ landonorris: WHAT?

⤷ alexalbon: HUH??

⤷ oscarpiastri: oh?

⤷ danielricciardo: well god damn

⤷ lewishamilton: how in the hell did we just now find out?

⤷ ynwolff: LMAOOO two years next week <3

⤷ susiewolff: yn you are going to give your father a heart attack

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 smau #formula one fanfiction #formula one fic #formula one x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula one fanfic #george russell smau #george russell x reader #george russell x you #gr63 x reader #gr63 fanfic #nicole wrote this

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