#did I accidentally recreate that one meme Without meaning to? yes yes I did

[awzominator]

They’re having tea time 🫖

[sweettsubaki]

About the ultimate ship meme - how do you feel about starting it with Tim & Kon?

Ho Ho, you know how to pander to my interests :D

About this

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? Forever

How quickly did/will they fall in love?Over the years. Like there’s a layout since the beginning, the way they’re always calling out to each other than indicates a passion that could possibly one day turn into romance, but that’s it. Imo It started between the moment Kon started to live with the Kent and the end of the preboot (and I do mean started, they basically had 2 years for the friendship to turn romantic). Nothing happened the feelings were really there and it was actual romantic love instead of just having romantic feelings for the other (mostly because I don’t think they’ll realize it’s not just friendship until…a little while).I honestly don’t see them get together until they’re 19-20 at least 

How was their first kiss? I have so many different hc for that one. One of my favorite is just that they started kissing each other on the cheek when they’re going back home or something (like “Gotta get back to Ma, See ya later guys” *bends slightly to kiss Tim on the cheek ‘cause he was just there, because they’re almost always next to each other*) and like at one point it turns into a peck on the lips. And they don’t realize it happened until the next time they do it because then there’s someone with them who just gets completely shocked and it just…hits them.

Wedding:

Who proposed? I don’t know? I think it just might have come up in a conversation and neither actually remembers who proposed. (I can also see them going a lifetime always forgetting to pop up the question ‘cause they’re already married in their mind)

Who is the best man/men? Dick and Bart obviously

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? Cass and Cassie. People make fun of that…a lot.Maybe Barbara and Roxi too.

Who did the most planning? The Wedding Planner, Ma and Bart. DO NOT leave these two to plan anything

Who stressed the most? Either Both or Neither. I don’t think they’d see it as such a big deal. The hardest part would probably be if they did a civilian and a hero wedding.

How fancy was the ceremony?  Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.I’m torn because on the one hand neither wants to do something big, on the other hand, they’ll probably do something a bit fancy to please other people and/or the paparazzi. I’m not sure how religious Conner is but Tim isn’t so I didn’t pick the 5th one for obvious reasons.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? I’m not sure if there’s anyone who they specifically don’t want at the wedding. Maybe Jason? But he and Tim are on relatively good terms by the end of the preboot but not enough to invite him anyway so…

Sex:

Who is on top? they’re probably versatile

Who is the one to instigate things? Probably depends on the moment?

How healthy is their sex life? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now I’d say healthy but I honestly try to never think about it so… (also this seems to be “do they have a high libido” rather than actually thinking about how healthy their sex life is)

How kinky are they? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head Literally no idea. so I’m shooting in the dark (no awful pun intended)

How long do they normally last? Considering their training/Genetics they probably have a lot of stamina so…

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? Probably yeah. They might have a contest as to who gives more to the other though

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.Probably depends on their state of mind

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?  No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? lol (unless you think of them using the cloning devices Tim tries to use to recreate Conner, that Cadmus had used to create him in the first place…then I guess…like…1)

How many children will they adopt? Depends on the story I have in mind. I think they’ll only adopt if a child comes their way looking devastated (on of the rare things I think Tim shares with Bruce). I’d say between 0 and 3.One is Helena (yes Catwoman’s daughter…Let’s just say that stuff happens and Tim finds her and she’s been very fond of red and black since she was a kid, so she latches on to him…they never leave each other’s side after that).Another one is totally @Chonaku-Things’ fault with her AU where Tim ends up taking care of Koonak (Mr Freeze’s adopted kid in the Batman cartoon) while Mr Freeze accepted to do his time in Arkham.And another kid whose name I keep changing so I’m gonna call them Maïte ‘cause I like the meaning (also it was my mom’s name so it helps :p).Also knowing that they already have Bart.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Both. They find a way to share the task equally (as in they try to get the other to do more and end up doing the same amount)

Who is the stricter parent? Depends. Tim’s stricter for the basic “but you could hurt yourself” stance, where Conner’s much more of an “I’m telling you it’s a bad idea but you can try it, I’ll just be behind you the whole time, making sure you’re okay” parent for basic injury related stuff. Other than that, Kon is stricter on basic health like food, or doctors, he gets scared when there’s a tiny bit of a cough starting anywhere in the household. The rest of the time they either alternate or are as strict/lenient as the other and they always make sure to listen to the other’s reasoning and come to a compromise if need be.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Tim, though he doesn’t stop them so much as encourage them to go the less dangerous route “sneakily” (the kids realize it half the time but humor him ‘cause they love being protected from this kind of stuff).They’re both adamant that none of their kids become vigilantes until they’re at least 16-18 though. 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Conner

Who is the more loved parent? Depends on the kids. Usually, it’s both because like ½ the kids I envision were under Tim’s care before he adopted them (he’s a foster parent in half my post-Reboot AUs, go figure) and before he got together with Kon and they just adopted Kon as a second parent along the way.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? The one who’s free at the moment (so probably Tim 3/5th of the time)

Who cried the most at graduation? Neither but they hugged their kids so much they all got bored and started communicating with their sibling with their eyes, trying to get them off their backs.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Neither really. They’re both pretty honest people who raised honest kids….If the kids are in trouble and they did something they should own up to it however if the law picked on them unjustly (because they’re kids or PoC, or were just at the wrong place at the wrong time), they’ll both raise hell. (In my mind Kon goes on to get a law degree ‘cause he likes finding loopholes so he’s pretty helpful on that side, but Tim has the money so…).

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Both. Conner was very adamant in lessening the amount of Junk Food Tim eats because of his asplenia though.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? They’re kind of the same about that one. They each have their No Go Food.

Who does the grocery shopping? Whoever has the time when stores are open….Tim most probably

How often do they bake desserts? At least once a week. Since their Time Table doesn’t always match the one who’s free tries to make something for the other. It becomes a tradition when they have kids to bake a small cake for the other parent to show that they all miss him.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? meat lovers. Both of them? Though Conner always feels bad ‘cause he’s helped with the Kent farm and he knows Cows are total sweethearts.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Both, but neither is actually surprised since they know the other’s tells. It kinda becomes a game over the years that they alternate who plans what and to try and plan something without the other guessing what exactly (the use of specific gear or powers can or cannot be allowed depending on what kind of anniversary they’re celebrating. It’s a lot of stress, frustration and ultimately a very fun part of their lives)

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Both. Again it really depends. Tim’s more of a social butterfly but he probably wants to enjoy his bf’s company in the comfort of their home when he can because of their clashing timetables. So Conner might be the one to actually suggest it because he knows Tim would actually enjoy it.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? Both are easily distracted so….

Chores:

Who cleans the room? Conner doesn’t have the choice, if he doesn’t, Tim never will.

Who is really against chores? Tim (Conner’s a close second but someone has to be firm…that someone is Bart)

Who cleans up after the pets? Both

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Both, but especially Tim.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Conner

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Both did, they don’t know where they come from, they’re this close to thinking their apartment makes money magically appear (they both rationally know it probably comes from Tim’s or Bruce’s pockets but it’s less fun to think about)

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Both

Who takes the dog out for a walk? Both, they take Krypto out together, ‘cause they use the opportunity for a romantic flight

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? Whenever they can, it helps them feel normal.

What are their goals for the relationship? Just be happy together

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Tim

Who plays the most pranks? Both

[ruffoverthinksthings]

Can you do the ship meme for Jane x anyone you want?

1.Whois the most affectionate?:

Jane.

Likeall the other times I’ve mentioned her, Mal has been constantlydrilled that showing any sort of affection or care for other peopleis the worst kind of weakness you can ever show, and the scarsand traumas of Maleficent’s shitty parenting take a LONG while toheal.

2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:

Malis big spoon, Jane is little spoon.

Asidefrom the fact that Mal starts naturally producing dragon fire and iswarm and cozy to snuggle up to at night, Mal feels much morecomfortable being the “protector” of the two, and Jane is morethan happy to have someone beside her to fend off the anxieties andnightmares.

3.Mostcommon argument?:

Whetheror not to do something in public.

Janeslowly loses her social anxieties as evidenced by her becoming partof the cheerleading squad and having her face out rather than hiddenin the Fighting Knight part of the school mascot, but she’s stillVERY reluctant to do many things where people can see her and judgeher, even if most people really couldn’t care.

Itdoesn’t really help that, willingly or not, Mal becomes one of themost public faces for VK reform in Auradon, along with her artneeding publicity and attention from the media to actually turn aprofit.

4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:

Youwould think it’s Jane braiding and styling Mal’s hair, you’d bewrong.

Withthis specific pair, it’s actually hanging in just their underwearin Jane’s room, and eventually, their own brownstone apartment thatthey have all to themselves. Jane has suffered a lot of socialanxieties and expectations foisted upon her, not the least of whichwas the conservative ideals of Auradon that says that even in theprivacy of your room, you should be decent should someone happen tocome by for a chat.

It’sa form of rebellion for her to be this free and shameless about hersexuality and her body, long sources of shame and distress for her asAuradon has very little room for experimentation, expression, orfreedom in general.

“Ican dance in just my underwear, and I don’t ever feel like there’sinvisible eyes watching me! It’s great!”

Malhas a different brand of issues, in that the public takes greatoffense to whenever she is “daring” or “VK” here in Auradon,and it has bred an even stronger distaste in her for theirconservative values. Also, you couldn’t really walk around in yourunderwear in the Isle, if you had the choice—“it’s cold, it’sgrimy, and there’s PLENTY of things you do NOT want to step inwithout a slipper, at the least.”

Onan incidental note, this is why the two of them get rather hot andbothered when in the presence of silly print panties, particularlystyles similar to the ones they already own.

AndYES, Mal still has the green baby dragon print panties. Jane’s iswhite with baby blue “bow tie butterflies.”

5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:

Mal,with Jane.

Thereare many days where Jane just doesn’t want to do anything anymore,and Mal makes it a point that her girlfriend gets home safely or tosomewhere she can rest and recharge where there isn’t noise,people, or inquisitive reporters bothering her.

6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:

Mal’seyes are an endless source of fascination for Jane. She really likesthe draconic quality they can take when she’s angry or excited, andthat she can read so much of her emotions and feelings from her eyes,not that that means much because Jane has fairy empathy and can tellexactly what she feels at any moment.

Onthe flipside, Mal finds herself REALLY into Jane’s body, becauseshe’s been so conservative and reserved about it, and now thatshe’s willingly and subtly changing it into something less “basic”and much more shapely, curvy, and full-figured (like a younger,sexier version of Fairy Godmother’s original form and her currentshape), she finds herself frequently accidentally setting things onfire when jets of flame shoot out of her nostrils when her internaltemperature gets too much.

Beforeyou ask, Jane has mastered basic fire suppression magic, and takes itas the clearest sign that the outfit or look is a “Yes, please.”

7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:

Maland Jane are both incredibly socially awkward and avoidant when itcomes to this thing called “feelings,” and probably spend a longwhile trying to intentionally avoid each other, and accidentally runinto each other because they both happen to figure out “What’sthe least likely place I’m going to run into Jane/Mal?”, gothere, and irony runs its course.

It’seven worse that they now they can’t use the “I just so happenedto be at our usual haunts at the same time as you” excuse becausethere’s really no reason Jane nor Mal would ever be at a make-upstore without Evie helping them navigate and fend off the, ah,‘highly enthusiastic’ store clerks and product reps.

8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:

Mal’sare “My Little Space Heater” after said internal dragon firedevelops thanks to magic exposure, “Blaze” because she keepsaccidentally setting things on fire whenever she’s turned on, and“Vi” as in “violet,” one of her many preferred shades ofpurple.

Jane’sare “Bo” as in bow tie because of Jane’s preference for them,“Mom” used jokingly whenever she’s scolding Mal or trying toget her to act more mature, and “Mistress” when they’re gettingkinky.

9.Whoworries the most?:

Jane.

Malis no calm, collected, and anxiety-free individual herself, but Janeis just the much more severe train wreck.

10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:

Jane,by virtue of infallible fairy memory.

11.Whotops?:

Jane.

12.Whoinitiates kisses?:

Jane.

Again,Mal is awkward about asking for physical intimacy and kisses, letalone initiating them, so Jane just preemptively showers her withlove.

13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:

Jane.

Shedecides to be more daring with Mal, because she’s got limited timeto make a move on her (284 years at the least, give or take), andbecause she tires of the game of avoidance and awkward coincidencesthat happen after they first realize they’re gay for each other.

14.Whokisses the hardest?:

Mal.

Initiatingkisses? Terrible at it. Getting going once they’re actually firedup? There is very literal smoke when they break away, and possiblysinge marks to the beginnings of raging fires on nearby surfaces andflammable objects.

15.Whowakes up first?:

Mal,caveat that Jane never really sleeps.

16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:

Jane.

Outsideof her room is where all her anxieties live.

17.Whosays I love you first?:

Jane,with the caveat that it was said far too fast for Mal to understand,before the incident for questions 29-30 happen.

18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):

Jane.

“

19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:

Mal,because Jane is evasive and unwilling to open up to Fairy Godmothergiven how terrible all the other times went. It was also REALLY easyfor Mal to talk to a sentient lizard in a terrarium incapable ofspeaking, and just tell her friends that she’s dating a differentAK.

Again,it’s no surprise for VKs to hear that someone’s with someone newall of a sudden, and Mal was already the precedent for dating acrossthe culture line.

20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:

Maleficentis disappointed as usual that her daughter has been fully purified bythe Auradonians, fallen in “true love” twice, and is evenmore a disappointment to her for the rest of all of eternity.

FairyGodmother is of two minds about this, because Jane is unquestionablyhappier and more confident, but she’s also becoming muchmore daring, scandalous, and adventurous in her daily life. It’skind of like FG’s the highly conservative single mother raising agood, rule-abiding, and decent child, who is now dating a girl whowears tattoos and leather jackets with pride, frequently breaks thelaw either intentionally or as a consequence of the trouble that isattracted to her like a super-powered magnet, and smokes—both inthe “dragon fire” sense, and the “weird and wonderful world ofrecreational drugs” sense.

AsI said, the VKs are non-plussed about it: Mal has already definedherself as the kind that consorts with the AKs after her famousrelationship with Ben, and again, they haven’t really cared muchabout other people’s relationships unless it enables or preventsthem from getting what they want or need day-to-day.

TheAKs are rather surprised that Jane would be dating Mal, of allpeople, and it throws all of their preconceptions about Jane for aloop, especially once they catch word of all the new things she’sdoing with her newfound confidence and girlfriend.

“HaveI really changed? Am I being corrupted? Or was I always like this,it’s just that I always pushed this side of me away? Whatever thecase, this is who I am now, and this is who I will be for theforeseeable future, because I like this me, and if you don’t?

“Well,you can just go fuck yourself! … Oh my gosh—I’m so sorry Icursed! But yeah, my point still stands...”

21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:

Inprivate, Jane.

She’salways had a habit of dancing to songs on the radio or from theinternet when she’s alone in her room and there’s really nothingbetter to do.

Inpublic,

Mal.Aside from the one that she’s always taking the lead due topersonality and the difference in heights between them, she’s theone who’s not paralyzed by the thought of so many people seeing herdo something like dancing.

“Justfocus on me, okay?” Mal says, Jane does, and the just have fun onthe dance floor.

22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:

Jane.

She’shad vastly more experience, and for Mal, “cooking was never reallya thing unless you were trying to roast a rat to make it tastesomewhat better, or get rid of poisonous bits neutralized by fire.”

23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:

Jane,surprisingly enough.

“DoI smell smoke?” is frequently used whenever she’s sending naughtySnapchats or intentionally riling Mal up.

24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:

Jane,again.

She’ssteadily becoming more daring and confident now that she realizesthat Auradon’s conservative standards are a choice, not theonly “right” way to be in this world. She’s still frequentlynervous when she does it, and it’s very rare, but HOO DAMNdoes it catch Mal off-guard.

“It’slike a tiny adorable kitten just staring up at you with big, wideeyes, and going ‘Fuck you!’ it just can’t not throw youoff!”

25.Whoneeds more assurance?:

Jane,once again.

It’swhy Mal is always there to hold her while she’s seated in her lap,remind her that she’s stronger than she thinks she is, much morethan her appearance, and that she’s always going to be there forher.

26.Whatwould be their theme song?:

“BodyImage” by Tupperware Remix Party.

“Weare as beautiful as our flaws.”

27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:

Mal.

Shehas the nicer singing voice, Jane thinks, and it’s good practicefor her to start being more comfortable with the idea of openlyshowing affection and vulnerability to another person.

28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:

Malhangs out with her friends, goes to “underground” events byherself or with her VK/more adventureous AK friends, and of course,works solo on her art, her preferred past time now that she doesn’tprioritize “being Evil.”

Janeplays video games, reads, does her other hobbies like cooking andgardening, explores nature, and practices her magic discretely.

29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

Jane’sconfession to Mal was during one of their twice monthly hang-outs inher room, practicing magic on the down-low as the ban was still ineffect at the time. Since Mal gave up her spellbook after the eventsof “Rise of the Isle of the Lost,” the two have resorted to goingaround looking for scraps of spells and old magical tomes, Jane beingthe better of the two because she is used to scouring dusty, mustylibraries for something new to read, and knows exactly where shehasn’t looked before.

Janetells Mal that she stumbled upon a very interesting, high-levelspell, a rarity considering so many of them are very tightly sealed,and leaks like this (by conspiracy or accident) were a rarity. “It’sa time-stop spell: freezes the entire world except you, so you’refree to do whatever you like as long as it’s in effect.”

Janeclarifies that at their experience and power levels, neither of themcan do more than just two-four seconds of frozen time, and the effectis just on their surrounding area—say, the size of Jane’s rathersmall room—but Mal is excited nonetheless.

Malarrives that Saturday at Janes’ room. The curtains are drawn, thedoor is locked, and they make sure that the nearly deserted hallsleading to it aren’t about to have anyone even passing by anytimesoon. They crack open Jane’s copy and notes of the spell, and startreading it, deciphering the missing pieces, and how to actually castthe damn thing.

Fictionmakes magic look so easy, but the spells are actually like “one-pressapps”: a collection of numerous interlocking, smaller spells andparameters and effects that have been collected, compiled, and givenan easy “key” so the magician doesn’t need to cast every singleone of those enchantments individually.

BecauseJane was the one to find such a treasure, she gets the honour oftrying to cast it first, and she does.

Toher surprise, it works—the world is completely frozen around her,everything from her furniture, the walls and the floors, and Malherself in an odd, baby blue hue like Jane’s magic. She’sobviously giddy that she managed such a powerful spell, instinctivelytelling Mal that it worked, before she realizes that she can’treact to or do anything in her current state.

Andthen an idea pops into Jane’s mind, a fleeting thought she’d beenpushing away several times, something she’d been reminding herselfthat she could not do because of the consequences, because it was notthe Right thing to do, but kept worming its way back to Jane’s mindover and over again, persistently clawing and fighting till it’s atthe very front and unavoidable.

Shehesitates for a moment, before she darts forward and kisses Mal onthe lips.

Becauseof her unique brain structure and how fast it can process everything,all of the debating, the pushing back, and the committing to adecision takes less than a second. Moving faster than she normallydoes, pressing her lips against Mal’s takes another. Registeringand enjoying the sensation of kissing Mal—lips scarred and chappedand not quite healed, with a hardness and roughness you just didn’tfind here in sunny and upper class Auradon Prep—and of finallyfinding an answer to the question of she would enjoy it (she does)takes two.

Andwith that, the haze is sucked back into Jane in a snap, and Mal isabout to open her mouth and ask if it worked before she realizesthere’s a pair of soft andquivering lipson hers that definitelyisn’t from anyone she’s ever kissed before.

Janeslowly opens her eyes, and when they notice Mal’s looking straightback at her, they shoot wide open. She pulls back so quickly shefalls onto her back, crawls away on her hands and feet.

Malblinks. “Jane…?” she asks.

Janecan’t stop time again, not with all these alarming thoughts andpredictions for the future and realizations about the full gravity ofher mistake bearing down on her. But, with the inhuman speeds she’scapable of, she can disappear into her closet before Mal is evenaware that she’s moved.

Malblinks again. “Jane!” she cries as she scrambles up.

Janeis inside her closet, moving aside boxes, old props, and schoolprojects, before she opens up one of the secret tunnels leading outof her room, a remnant of Auradon Prep from when it was a Duke’s“summer castle” that had escaped the filling and collapsingefforts. She hears Mal banging on the door outside, she pulls openthe hatch, crawls in, and shuts it behind her just as quickly.

Malputs her foot to the door, trying to kick it down, but the solidlybuilt, ancient hardwood isn’t the rotten and pest-infested planksshe’s used to. She curses under her breath as she scours her memoryfor an unlocking spell, before she just decides to go with theeasier, more direct approach:

Boom.

Thelock flies out, and crashes to the floor with a noisy clang. Theforce of the blast knocks over much of Jane’s stuff, making itcollapse over the secret tunnel and hiding her escape. Mal runs intoher walk-in closet, looks around, and starts digging through all herbelongings, trying to find where someone like her can squeeze in.

“Jane?”Mal asks as she searches. “Jane! Jane, where are you…?”

Insidethe tunnel, Jane cowers and hides, holding her breath for as long asit takes for Mal to give up and leave, ignoring the creepy crawlies,the dust, the fungus, and what else has found its way into this longabandoned tunnel in who knows how long.

Unfortunately,there’s no ignoring the voice in her head, quietly whispering thesame words over and over again, a familiar tune from her “childhood”:

“Youfucked up, you fucked up, you fucked up...”

Malshows up the day after, knocking on her door, asking if she’s homeevery once in a while, sending her texts and attempting to call her,but Jane just holds her breath again, pretends she’s not in, turnedoff her phone so her ringtone or the vibration of it on anythingwouldn’t give her away.

Becauseof her history with numerous social anxieties, she’s allowed totake attend her classes remotely, submitting homework, make-uprecitations, and attendance activities, even if her teachersencourage her to please come back to class, and her other friendssometimes drop by with her homework and group projects, rather thansending her digital copies.

Allthey really can do is just slid it under the door, or leave itoutside, wait for Jane to have it sent to them by all manner of meansthat don’t require her to show up in person—one of Carlos’flying drone projects, discretely teleporting them into her room, orenlisting the help of woodland creatures to whisk them away for her.

Theonly time she really does leave her room is when it’s time for hermonthly dinner with Fairy Godmother, falling on a Wednesday as usual.

Asyou might expect, FG is a very busy woman, being personallyresponsible for the supervision, growth, and development of most ofthe children of most of the monarchs in Auradon, who will becomefuture Kings and Queens themselves. It hasn’t left much time forher to attend to Jane, to say the least, but she made it a point toalways have certain times of the year and out of every month tocompletely, fully devote to Jane, where nothing short of arealm-threatening disaster can take her attention away.

Asmuch as Jane appreciates the thought and the spirit of it, however,like everything with her mother, it’s a mixed bag.

“So,I heard you haven’t been showing up to your classes again...”Fairy Godmother starts after that night’s dinner has beenserved—Chinese style steamed vegetable wraps.

“...”Jane idly picks up her chopsticks, her face cast down at her plate.

“Doyou want to talk about it?” Fairy Godmother asks.

“...”Jane pauses for a moment, her chopsticks held up in the air, beforeshe shakes her head, still not looking at FG.

FairyGodmother sighs. “Jane… I’ll admit I haven’t been the bestmother to you, especially now that all your friends are teens andyou’re all going through an incredibly rough period in yourlives—and that’s without the VKs.

“Butplease, could you confide in me whatever it is that you’re goingthrough right now? I can’t magic it away like I used to, but thatdoesn’t mean I’m completely helpless to help you!”

“Yesyou are,” Jane thinks to herself, while she says “I canhandle it on my own, mom.”

FairyGodmother sighs. “There’s no shame in asking for help, you know.”

“Iknow...” Jane says as she carefully tears apart a chunk of herwrap, watching the steam pour out of the seam and the vegetablesspill out.

FairyGodmother closes her eyes, and opens them again. “I’ve said itbefore, I’ll say it again: it’s best you tackle problems as soonas you can, because they tend to get worse the longer you wait.”

Janemakes a non-committal sound as she forks it into her mouth—hermother’s cooking is delicious as always, a perk of having eternityto master her domestic skills and twenty years to go all out inpracticing it, but it’s going to take more than good food to makeall these bad feelings go away.

30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:

Saturdayonce more.

Thelock in Jane’s closet has been put back into place, the damageundone with Carlos’ help and objective, infallible knowledge of theexact look of the paint and wood so not even Fairy Godmother would beany the wiser as to what happened to it, the dislodged contents alsorearranged for good measure.

Thecurtains are open, what sunlight she gets from this secluded part ofthe castle is streaming in, all is quiet and peaceful and no one isaround for miles, just how Jane likes it.

Orrather, how she’s supposed to like it.

Whenthe time rolls around that Mal was supposed to arrive and the two ofthem would practice magic together, Jane is all too aware thatthere’s going to be none of her or that, she feels restless,uneasy, a great gnawing inside of her that just can’t be ignored,and will not be ignored.

Janeis used to discomfort, to anxiety, to worry, but this is on a wholenew level. From years and years of having to feel others emotions,and having to name them and understand them to keep herself fromgoing insane, she knows what this feeling is, the scourge of thosewho were innocent children once, the eternal bane of anyone who hasever lived, the muse of so much of the pop songs and poetry thatAuradon Kids produce:

Heartbreak.

Itonly takes her mind a split second to comprehend all of this, but ittakes her hours still to take action, wallowing in her pain, suddenlysympathetic to every single person who has ever claimed or shown thatthey simply couldn’t move on. Night falls, and whereas mostpeople’s weekend plans had either come to a close or were about tobegin, Jane has wasted this particular Saturday with the people andthe society she’s known so far in her entire existence doingnothing.

Andat the stroke of eight o’clock in the evening, she finally hasenough and takes action.

Therewill be many more Saturdays for her, for as long as reality existed,but there would be only so many Saturdays she could spend with Mal.

Sheheads out of her room, and proceeds to break a personal rule of hersand a strong suggestion of her mother by going down the halls atinhuman speed, a sudden, mysterious breeze to all she passes by untilshe goes slow enough for mortal eyes just before she reaches Mal andEvie’s door.

There’sa part of her that says that she should just keep on going, make afull circle around the campus before ending back at her room, goingdown the opposite side of the hallway she always took, but there’smuch more of her that’s tired of the inaction.

Janeknocks.

Evieanswers. She hides her surprise well, but no poker face can match themight of Faerie Empathy. “Jane! Hi! What’s up…?”

“CanI talk to Mal?” Jane replies. “It’s really important.”

Thistime, the facade breaks, if only a little. “She’s out. Probablywon’t be back until past midnight.”

“Oh.”Jane said. “Do you happen to know where she went?”

“Idon’t know exactly, but I’ll bet anything she’s goingtagging,” Evie says.

Janesmiles politely. “Thanks, Evie.” She turns to leave, Evie beginsto close the door.

“Wait!Jane!”

Janeturns around. Evie opens the door again and holds out her phone.“Carlos made a tracker app for all our phones, so we could findeach other in case of trouble,” she says as she shows her just howto access it. “It’s only got half-a-mile or so of range, but it’sbetter than nothing.”

Janesmiles as she takes it, carefully cradles it in her hand. “Thankyou, Evie. I’ll give it back later!”

“Hurryif you can!” Evie said. “I’ll have to take selfies and vlogswith my webcam till then, and there’s only so many angles and shotsyou can make with that.”

“Iwill!” Jane says, before she leaves once more, Evie’s phonecradled safely in her hands.

Shebreaks a different rule as she heads off, a much more serious onethat could land her in jail, but the Guards were not as keen ondetecting rogue magic use as they were back then, and it’s a simplematter to hide the natural gossamer glow and reflective surface ofher wings as she flies, atop the condos and the parks, past thecorporate headquarters and the shopping complexes, beyond theMcCastles and the nigh identical houses of the suburbs, to theforgotten part of Auradon City, the first district and the first everto die:

MarigoldStreet.

Sheflies over old industrial parks with rusting construction equipment,hollowed out factories with boards over the doors and windows andfences around the perimeters, and long-abandoned “affordable”housing with concrete sidewalks cracked, trees long dead if theyweren’t reduced to stumps, and community gardens overgrown andwild.

Thankfully,there are no guards or dogs here, everything of value long salvagedor rotten past usefulness, and whatever technology Carlos had used intheir trackers worked better in the air, where at least one half ofthe signal couldn’t get blocked by the all the inches-thickconcrete and steel everywhere.

Shefound Mal in the middle of spraypainting the side of a warehouse. Theelectricity grid had long decayed and been cut-off by every powercompany in the city aside, but the glow of an LED camping light letMal work and Jane see the design, several paintings in sequence:

Ababy purple dragon, walking along by happily, until it sees a prettybaby blue bowtie butterfly, stares at it in wonder, jumps up into theair, flapping its tiny little wings and hovers beside it for a fewseconds, before it crashes to the ground, right on its tiny scalyface.

Malwas in the middle of blocking out the baby dragon back on the ground,when Jane cleared her throat.

Maljumped, holding up the spraycan like it was a gun, her whole bodytensed and ready for combat, her green eyes narrowed and giving Janethe harshest glare she was capable of. They quickly widened andturned terrified as she recognized who the intruder was.

“Jane?!”Mal sputtered. “How did you--?!”

Janeheld out her hands, Evie’s phone in one of them, the screen turnedout to her. Mal looked surprised, before she slowly, reluctantlyrelaxed her pose.

“… Whatdo you want?” she asked.

“I’msorry,” Jane said. “I’m sorry I took advantage of you andkissed you while you were under the effects of that time stop spell.I know you still probably hate me and don’t want to be friends withme anymore, but I--”

Malheld up her hand. Jane stopped.

“Jane?First up, I don’t hate you for kissing me while I was frozen intime; that’s WAY far from the worst thing anyone’s ever done tome while I was helpless, nor is it something that really rings alarmbells inside my head anymore.  

“Andsecond, I don’t hate you, but I do hate the fact thatyou avoided me like that. I’m the VK here, I’m the onewho’s supposed to be running away from my problems, damn it!”

Janewinces, and hangs her head. “Sorry for that. Again. I promise, nomore running—I want to make things up to you. I want us to befriends again. Or just cool with each other, if that’s as far asyou’ll let me.”

Maltakes a deep breath, and lets it go slowly. “Do you remember thewords for the spell?”

“Ido,” Jane says—it was a trivial task when you couldn’t forgetanything.

Shesays the words to Mal without the deliberate concentration, thechanneling of her magic, or the movements that made bending the lawsof reality as we knew it all the easier, rendering the incantationharmless and inert.

“Thanks,”Mal says, before she raises her hands and quickly casts it.

Whenthe world unfreezes, Jane is suddenly aware of lips pulling away fromher, their owner’s eyes closed.

Malopens her eyes again, none the wiser. “There. Now that’s a coupleof seconds of your life where you don’t know what the helljust happened.”

Janetries to hide her reaction, but she was never one for being subtle.

Malfrowns and blushes. “… Did it not work on you…?”

“Itwore off just as you pulled away...” Jane confesses.

Maltakes in a quick breath through her nose. “Well then. Shit.”

“… Doyou want to try that again—kissing, I mean? Without the time stopspells or the secrecy.”

Malshrugs, uneasy. “I dunno… do you?”

“Yes,I do… so, do you?”

Malthinks for a few seconds. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”

Sothe two of them awkwardly step up to each other, not quite sure whatto do with their hands so they just keep them at their sides as theylean in closer, closing their eyes as soon as they’re sure theirlips are aligned, and for a brief two seconds, the two of them knowwhat it’s like to kiss the hard and scarred mouth of a VK and thesoft and quivering mouth of a nervous wreck of an AK when both sideswere kissing back.

AndJane had to admit, it was way better than that stolen kisswas.

Theybreak away as they hear one of Evie’s ringtones. It’s from anumber neither of them recognize, which is as good a sign as any thatthey need to return to Auradon ASAP. They stay a while to completethe grafitti on the wall, though, with the last of the sequence ofpaintings:

Thedragon, looking sadly at the bowtie butterfly still up in the air.

Itseyes widening in surprise as the butterfly flutters down to itslevel.

Thetwo of them walking off into the distance, side by side, happy ascould be.

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[honeyedmilks]

the longest gtk me tag to ever exist 🍰

i was tagged by the lovely @meanyoongis (thank YOU!! <3) for this extravagant tag! she is so long, even without my rambling, that under a cut she must rest!

the last…

drink: water! please stay hydrated this summer my friends!  time you cried: literally at 5 am at some point early in the week

phone call: my mum

text message: it’s literally me messaging rezka this: “did u just tell me to find a sugar daddy?” we were discussing my shitty laptop and a peach phone cover i wanted to buy- don’t ask anymore questions about this please lmfao.

song you listened to: don’t stop by shinee :’( (i’m going to report choi minho for his rap in this as well as my love jonghyun for his vocals that nearly killed me)

 have you…

dated someone twice: but… i’ve not.. even dated someone.. once… 

kissed someone and regretted it: nope! 

been cheated on: nope!

lost someone special: not in terms of them passing away but i have lost many friends and relationships i still remember; i feel their loss sometimes

been depressed: dfhhdjd i be livin’ that mental illness life right now hskjxk

gotten drunk and thrown up: no, but during my very bad times, i thought about doing just that, a lot. 

list three favourite colours…

omg okay: browns, pinks, blues 

in the last year have you…

made new friends: yes! i love them!! shout out to my cute tumblr friends :’))) 

fallen out of love: hmm… i would say so… THANK GOD 

laughed until you cried: i wish lmfao but rezka and allie have made me laugh loads :’)) 

found out someone was talking about you: hmm yes, but it’s ok :(( 

met someone who changed you: i know some people now who have given me sound advice that i try to remember, but other than that i don’t think so

found out who your friends are: yes :(( though i would like to think the ones who didn’t check up on me had their reasons 

kissed someone on your facebook list: i’m literally the most un-sensual person ever?? can u tell?? no action up in dis bitch y’all!

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i should’ve mentioned before that i’m not even on that… place… imagine having all my asian family members tryna peep me on ‘the facebooks’ as my dad calls it… a living nightmare… also it just looks far too complicated to use and not worth the energy getting used to it, i love the memes that i see from facebook here though lmfaoo they’re lit

do you have any pets: no! :(( i used to have a bunny called bubbles but he is no longer with us :(( rest in peace bubbles :(( but our family wants a new pet! hopefully we’ll get a cat or another rabbit when my littlest brother is a bit older! i’m so lonely… i want a dog.. my family is so incomplete… so cold…so devoid… I JUST WANT AN ANIMAL FRIEND!!! but i would also have to get over my weird fear of all living things, and the pain that comes with having them such as scratches etc 

do you want to change your name: actually no, i’m okay with my name right now :’) though i feel like i have two depending on how people pronounce it! its more commonly pronounced as sof-ee-a but it’s actually soft, like sof-ya! also here’s a fact! my name’s already been changed :D when i was younger i was actually named bariah (pronounced br-ee-ya) but it was changed because my parents and stuff thought it was causing me lots of bad luck… i also somehow got picked on in primary school for having my name changed?? people eventually ended up saying i had changed my name like three times (the real case is that white people fucked up how to pronounce bariah and when my mum corrected them, they all flipped shit lmfao ah my head hurts thinking about this- it got worse after it went from bariah to sofia)                               

what did you do for your last birthday: it was so miserable this was the worst year to ask me this question, lmfao i’ll try not to give you any miserable details but i ended up buying myself cake and trying not to make it my departing date too

what time did you wake up: near 1pm i think! 

what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was either watching the princess’ man or making my posters for it! 

name something you can’t wait for: honestly don’t know lmfao i want to go to the beach though so here’s hoping i finally do that, or go swimming 

when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago, she’s making dinner i think… i can smell it… all the way from my depression hole (bedroom)

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so much? but mostly i would like my dad to get better and my mum to not have to do everything :(( and then go on more holidays and live life more :(( also mental illness be gone!!

what are you listening right now: fuckin artificial love by exo dropped on ma shuffle, i’m getting terrible flashbacks to the cane dance  

have you ever talked to a person named tom: aye i know a guy called tom, he got a part of his tooth chipped (It was a whole big wild thing and i don’t know the details but that’s all i remember of the dude) and he was in my english class once, but like, we don’t talk no more… i don’t even know if i’ve seen him around school when i used to go… 

something that is getting on your nerves: lots of things… my potato laptop… myself… no one in my gotdang family listening to me!!! the fact that it’s been two weeks and i still don’t have delicious cake… also the fact i end up hating everything i make on here- thank you guys for being so lovely in your tags tho :’(( 

most visited website: tbh tumblr, pinterest, pixlr and dramanice

about me…

mole/s: i don’t think i have any? maybe some small dark dots here and there on my legs and neck

mark/s: i have some burn scars and a bit of a scar thing on my elbow where i scraped it really badly as a kid, i also have stretch marks on my waist/hips etc and a blotchy mark in my inner left thigh

childhood dream: i think i was set on being an interior designer at one point? lmfao or a celebrity chef (i watched a lot of food network as a kid) 

hair colour: black

long or short hair: very very long, but i want to get it cut soon so it’s a bit shorter. 

do you have a crush on someone: i mean there’s this one boy in real life… but i don’t see him that much right now :(( i don’t think it’s full on infatuation though… but y’all also know i love jonghyun and changkyun 

what do you like about yourself: AKDNSKJDKJADDJ i broke out the caps for this!!! lemme think… i guess my eyebrows can be rather nice! and i can be funny sometimes i guess lmao… i like how i can be empathetic with people, though it’s not at all always fun being so sensitive

piercings: i have my ears pierced! just one in each lobe :) 

blood type: you trippin if you thought i would know this LMFAO 

nickname: binch i gots so many oh my god… my family, such as my aunt, call me brian (derived from my old name bariah- thank god i told you guys about that otherwise none of you would know why my nickname was fucking BRIAN), some people call me sofie/ sophie, and my mum calls my sofie pofie sometimes- my dad calls me sofar (so-fur) in the most desi way possible- he once accidentally called me sofa and it just stuck, it also explains my instagram user name (sofarsoogood) lmfao its a cute pun and i don’t know if this is a nickname but i get adressed as baji/baj by my younger brothers and sisters and cousins- its like the desi term for older sister 

relationship status: your local potato head (that’s me) is on her lonesome… she single as hell bitch!

zodiac: aquarius (i’m sure i spelt that wrong, rezka once dragged me for spelling it as some other dumb shit before BUT OH WELL) 

pronouns: she/her!

favourite tv show (s): i don’t even know, parks and recreation is a good one though :’)) oooh and I LOVE CRIMINAL MINDS though i’ve not seen much of the new season :(( oh and an idiot abroad is fucking funny bye i need to rewatch that ooh also lots of cooking shows and the jane eyre bbc (2006) mini series 

tattoos: no, but i would like to get some more henna done this year :’D

right or left hand: right!

surgery: i don’t think so? but i did get some teeth taken out when i was younger so i don’t know if that counts lmfao 

hair dyed in different colour: no, but it would be nice to get it done one day!! i’ve been thinking about it… but i don’t know what colour would suit me and my mum doesn’t want me to lmfao 

sport: i like cycling (its been ages tho) and i like badminton, yoga and i really want to go swimming :(( but i don’t do any of that anymore. the most i do is long walking 

vacation: i’ve been to pakistan, england, stopped in dubai for a while, italy, france, turkey and egypt! it was all so long ago though! and i would like to go to so many more places!

pair of trainers: i have converse! though i much prefer sandals over converse

more general…

eating: these days i’m very into chips and cheese plus donner (don’t knock it till ya try it!) and my mum’s roti salan lmfao 

drinking: hmm water! or icy drinks! iced tea is fabulous but i also gotta start drinking green tea again! i miss her 

i’m about to: pass out from trying to answer all of these LMFAO JOKES i might get something to eat.. such as ice cream… or actual dinner… and then maybe watch more of the princess’ man or make some stuff! but who knows i might just fall asleep lmfao 

waiting for: a new laptop, my mental health TO GET BETTER SDHKSHKSDH and for just… i dunno what the heck i’m doing, i’m just winging my life right now and for my dad to get better so he can go on trains and buses with me so i can get used to them  

want: new bath bombs and clothes, my writing passion back, hugs, affection, allie to reunite with her chicken hat one day

get married: i most likely will when i’m older! though i’ve been told i’m already in a relationship with jp and bevy maco 

career: HONESTLY DON’T KNOW!!!!!! but if i filter all my shit out then i can say, i want to get into film, defos want to be a published writer, maybe go into graphic design… who knows tbh maybe counselling? 

which is better…

hugs or kisses: it depends on what kind of kiss/ where it is, but i often get in moods where i just need to be held :’(( so both i guess!

lips or eyes: both :’) but eyes over lips i guess unless we’re talking smiles :’) 

short or tall: i guess tall but if i’m in love it might not really matter              

older or younger: hmm, i would say the same age as me or a little older, but it really depends on the mentality of the person :) 

nice arms or nice stomach: arms are nice :’) 

sensitive or loud: hmm i don’t know… probably loud, just not obnoxious or annoying

hook up or relationship: relationship :’) 

troublemaker or hesitant: hmm i don’t know! the boys i’ve liked have ended up being some troublemakers, but i guess it depends on what kind of trouble! 

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: never 

lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t wear glasses or contact lenses but i have lost some sunglasses on holiday lmfao, it doesn’t even have to be a day before i lose something on holiday, or leave it behind

turned someone down: hmm i don’t think so! though one boy did try give me a valentine on valentine’s day but i was really having a terrible day and i didn’t take it from him, the encounter was a mess and i don’t know why he was tryna give it to me in the first place? i think he was just tryna get rid of it?? i don’t trust boys if they do stuff like that/ try ask me out tbh lmfao for many reasons

sex on the first date: oh no not my shy ass lmfao

broken someone’s heart: i don’t know :( most likely not! though there was one person i think i did hurt and let down  

had your heart broken:��i’m not sure in the romantic sense, but i know it’s felt a lot 

been arrested: nope! i’m an angel ;)) LMFAO 

cried when someone died: hmm i can’t remember, i think i cried seeing my mum so upset when her mother passed away, i also have shed tears over michael jackson (i used to be a very heavy mj blog back in the day lmfao shout out to my mj mutuals who stuck around) 

fallen for a friend: i don’t think it was genuine, so i’m going to say no 

do you believe in…

yourself: pfff depends really, there are times when i don’t feel an overwhelming sense of insecurity and there are times i do                    

miracles: i guess so :)

love at first sight: i think you can be attracted to someone when you first see them or have a liking to them but real love is such a complex thing that i don’t really believe one can fall in love at first sight

santa claus: kjdcnjdcnjd who dat i only know dat cool guy in narnia who gave dem kids of old their death devices

kiss on the first date: hmm… depends… but in reality… probably no

angels: yes  

other…

current best friends name: rezka, allie, mhairi, (a mix of tumbly friends and irl) im such a loser bye but i love y’all, i honestly don’t talk to a lot of people these days :(( 

eye colour: so dark they look black and you can’t see my pupils sometimes

favourite movie(s): hmm… sabrina (1954), the mummy one and two, peter pan (2003), pride and prejudice (2005) and spy! i have lots more i’m so fond of!  

phew! time to tag some lovely people! : @youngjei , @allonsy-allie , @dansphil , @seokjinings , @junyeol-s , @bovrilcat , @alcenos , @astraelogy , @mahnoorjahan , @timrggins and @bonqhee! 💗