#dick stfu for 5 minutes

[jaysgirlx]

i present to you, dick grayson: the whore

dick grayson is a masochist. not even strictly in a submissive role. he’ll pound your pussy until you pass out, sure- but he wants you showing him exactly how good his dick feels inside you. poor guy pops a boner the second you suck or bite his neck a little too hard. mark up his neck while he’s knuckles deep inside you and he’s bound to cum with you.

or instead of his fingers it’s his lips and tongue, nails digging into your soft thighs as you snatch and pull at his hair. the vibrations of his muffled groans into your pussy makes it ten times better, and you have no choice but to reward him with an even harsher tug.

he’s even caught in a delightful surprise when you slap him. nothing too hard or harmful, of course. you’re on top of him and he’s still talking up a storm, damn near having a conversation with himself about how slutty you are. greedy fuckin’ pussy, he’d groan, look at that, such a needy whore i’ve got. he’s got some nerve considering how he’s just as (and if not,) louder than you. you’d argue he’s a whore too.

“shut up, dick,” you whine, slapping his cheek lightly as your hips gain intensity. the moan he lets out is fucking filth, loud and wanton and followed up with a little laugh. “god, but i’m the whore?” you keen at him, hand trailing up his abdomen and around his throat to rest there. “never told you I wasn’t one too,” he grins at you, hips drilling into you from the mattress.

his favorite is probably when your nails leave deep lines in his skin, a testament to how far he drove you over the edge. almost like he wants you to claw at him, just to look at the damage he caused to himself later. “tryna maul me like a damn cougar, huh?” he teases against your neck, lifting a leg over his shoulder and telling you to take it out on him. he grunts and groans into your ear every time you go deeper, trying not to blow his load in the next minute. not like he can’t keep going or anything- but he’d hate to fill you up sooner than intended.

[blood-ology]

My younger half sister moving to her dads in the US at 14 after living with just me and our mom her whole life got me like wow, I wonder what it must he like to have a whole entire second parent who gives enough of a fuck about you to see you, buy you shit, AND let you move in just because you feel like it. (And who’s even safe enough to be around)

[b3ach-bunn7]

CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST

Texts with your best friend Touya (who’s a little bit in love with you)

no quirk au <3

—————————————————————————-

January 9th

8:47 pm

You: OH TOUYAAAAA

You: it’s nearly ur bd 😁 what shall I get u

Touya: Nothing

Touya: Just Ur love 😍

You: ew

You: shall I get u some new earrings

You: OH I COULD PAY FOR ANOTHER PIERCING

Touya: Literally where

Touya: I think I’ve pierced every available location on my face

Touya: Unless… You meant somewhere else 😳

You: EWWWWWWWW

You: UR SUCH A FREAK

Touya: I meant my belly button?

You: stfu

Touya: Get your head out the gutter

You: shut up pooya

Touya: Wow you really got me there!

You: HUSH

January 12th

8:39 am

You: bruh where r u

You: homeroom started like ten minutes ago

Touya: I just woke up

Touya: Leaving onw buy shoti is lissing me kff

You: okay English!!!

Touya: Kys

You: but you can type that right…

January 12th

1:40 pm

You: Touyaaaaaa

You: can we go get food

You: the canteen stuff is rubbish today

You: plz I’m so sos is so hungry I’m dying

Touya: Fatty

You: HEY

You: SO MEAN

Touya: I’m only joking sweetcheeks

You: gross

Touya: You love it

Touya: Shiggy wants to come 2

Touya: Is that Ok

You: sigh fine I guess

Touya: Shall I tell him he’ll be third wheeling if he does 😳

You: yes 🥰🥰🥰😍 he just can’t interrupt our time together my sweet

Touya: Ew

You: you love it

January 13th

7:40 pm

You: GST ON MINECRAFTTT

Touya: I’m doing homework

You: I’m doing your mum OHHH

Touya: Woah

Touya: Telling her u said that

You: PLZ IM JOKING

You: I’ll tell her ur telling porky pies

You: Rei would trust my word over urs anyways 😈

Touya: Lowkey she would

Touya: My own mother 😢

You: I’m just better ig

You: how long r u gonna be

Touya: Give me like fifteen mins

You: BOO

Touya: Bro Aizawa is up my ass rn

Touya: If I hand one more piece of work in late he’s gonna acc kill me

You: idk why u hate him so much

You: i love him

You: and he has that sexy teacher look🤤 those luscious locks

Touya: R u sure u can get off his dick long enough for us to play

You: HAHAHAH

You: STFU

You: ur just jealous

Touya: So very

Touya: Why aren’t u hyping ME up like that

You: cause u smell?

Touya: I’m not playing

You: IM JOKING

You: U smell so good and yummy

You: like cigarette smoke 😍

Touya: 🙄

You: sassy 💁‍♀️

Touya: Stop distracting me so I can work

You: okay smelly

January 15th

2:30 pm

Touya: Y/N

Touya: Y/n

Touya: Y/NNNN

Touya: Queen

Touya: Sweetheart

Touya: Angel

You: if you throw one more piece of paper at my head I’m blocking u

Touya: You won’t check ur phone

Touya: How else can I get ur attention from across the room

You: WE R I. CLASS

Touya: So?

You: think I figured out why Aizawa doesn’t rate u

You: pay attention

Touya: But I miss u

Touya: And I’m bored

You: U LITERALLY SAW ME LIKE HALF AN HOUR AGO

You: AT LINCH

Touya: Ur point?

You: omfg

Touya: So what’s up

You: I’m gonna kill you

January 17th

6:50 pm

Fuyumi: Hi Y/N

You: hey fuyumi!!

You: everything okay?

Fuyumi: Yeah, it’s great!!

Fuyumi: Just wanted to tell u that everyone needs to be at ours for Touya’s party at 5:00

Fuyumi: We’ll tell him to come home at like six so that gives us some time to get everything ready

You: beautiful

You: do u think he has any idea were throwing him a party 🤭🤭

Fuyumi: I don’t think so 😆 we have been very careful

Fuyumi: Even shoto has kept his mouth shut

You: yeah I had to threaten twice a couple times before he promised to not tell

You: IM EXCITED

Fuyumi: Me too!!!

Fuyumi: Can’t wait to see u 😊

You: I can’t wait either!!!

Fuyumi: I hope he’ll like it

Fuyumi: We’re getting mum to drive all across town to get him that cake he loves

Fuyumi: I really want him to have fun

You: don’t worry babe he will have fun

You: and if he doesn’t I’ll force him to 😈

January 17th

7:00pm

Touya: U guys r throwing me a surprise party right

You: what?

Touya: For my bd

Touya: Fuyumi is being all suspicious

Touya: Told me I have to leave the house tomorrow but also come back at six oclock??

Touya: And the little brat keeps giggling at me

You: uhm don’t call little shoto that

Touya: Ur deflecting

Touya: They r throwing a party aren’t they

You: they aren’t

You: idk why you think that

Touya: Y/N

You: WHY DO U HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING

Touya: Lol

You: please please don’t tell them you know

You: they’re so excited for do this for you

You: [screenshot attachment]

You: look what Fuyumi said to me

Touya: Oh

You: please don’t spoil 😔

Touya: Don’t worry your pretty little head

Touya: I won’t

You: YAY

You: LOVE U

Touya: Ly2

January 18th

12:00am

You: [audio messsage]

You: enjoy me whisper singing happy bd to u

You: HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY WOOOOO

You: LOVE U THE MOST

You: okay I need to sleep we have school tomorrow

January 18th

3:07am

Touya: Thank you y/n

Touya: Ly the most too

January 18th

6:15 pm

You: Touya where tf r u

Touya: I’m On my way!

You: we’ll be On your way! FASTER

Touya: STFU

You: U STFU

Touya: U TOLD ME TO MAKE THIS BELIEVEBE

Touya: MY FAMILY WOULD NOT BELEIWV I GOT THERE ON TIME

You: wait ur right lowkey

Touya: exactly

You: well walk faster

Touya: I’m not walking

Touya: I’m driving

You: HOW TF R U TEXTING ME

Touya: Imd riving one handed?

You: GET TF OFF UR PHONE 😭

January 19th

12:04 am

Touya: Y/N

Touya: Thank u for gifts

Touya: The strap for my bass

Touya: And the necklace

Touya: I lowbe them

Touya: and the aprty was so fun

Touya: I lovwd it

Touya: and I lobe you

You: that’s okay 😁

You: are u drunk rn🤔

Touya: Snuch out with bawks

Touya: Hrwks

Touya: Hawks

Touya: Raided fathers liquoye supply

You: you went to your dad’s house????

Touya: NO

Touya: never

Touya: stolen from when he was gere

Touya: fukcing loser 😂😂

You: where r u guys?

Touya: hawks house

Touya: his oarents arent home

Touya: u wanbawcome over

Touya: I’ll kuck him out

You: u can’t kick hawks out of his own house 😭

You: why do u even need to kick him out we’re friends

Touya: he flirst with y so much

Touya: flirts

Touya: pisses me off

You: awwwww r u jelly 🥺

Touya: yes

You: LOL

You: yeah maybe lay off the the drinks buddy

Touya: I live u

Touya: love

Touya: I loved the gifts u got me rhwnks

You: you already said babe

Touya: sorry baby Im so drunk

You: okay I’m going to go before you say something you’ll regret in the morning

You: goodnight birthday boy

January 19th

1:05 pm

Touya: Please erase last night from ur memory

You: last night was a movie 😍

Touya: Yeah a fucking horror

You: HAHAHA

Touya: My head is killing me

You: painkillers?

Touya: Idk where they r and Hawks is sleeping

You: did u guys just wake up 😭

Touya: I think I slept like at like five am

Touya: It’s nice smoking inside a house and not in some alleyway so mum doesn’t catch me

You: BOO

You: ur lungs hate u

Touya: I hate them back

Touya: It’s why I smoke

You: LOL SHUT UP

Touya: Fuck my HEAD

You: that’s what he said

Touya: Ew man

You: you love it

You: go drink some h2o

Touya: Enough chemistry in too tired

You: sigh fine

You: go get some WATER 💦

Touya: Fine

You: bye baby 🤪

Touya: I’ll kill you

You: but I thought you love me??

Touya: Ur dead to me

You: HAHHA

January 21st

7:06 pm

You: Touya

You: can I come over plz

Touya: Erm what 😳😳😳

You: seriously

You: can I

Touya: Yh ofc

Touya: You okay?

You: yh

You: well no actually

You: my dads being my dad again

You: I just can’t be in this house rn

You: I need to get away from him

Touya: Yeah u can anytime

Touya: Yk my family loves u

You: thanks

Touya: You want me to pick u up?

You: nah I wanna walk

You: thanks again

You: love u

Touya: Ly2

January 29th

5:28 pm

You: [image attachment]

You: BRUH HOW DID I LOSEEEE

You: I ATE SK BAD

Touya: Bruh get off dress to impress 😭

Touya: U r beefing ten year olds rn

You: idgaf

You: ten year olds who can’t fucking dress

You: I actually hate this game

You: that is NOT STEAM PUNK WHAT THE FUCK

Touya: Maybe get good

You: maybe kys???????

Touya: Words hurt 😔

You: man up?

Touya: Woah

Touya: Okay just perpetuate gender norms..

You: define perpetuate?

You: YH that’s what i thought

February 6th

7:06 pm

You: bro

You: all my friends have valentines apart from ME

Touya: Get good?

You: okay and where’s urs?

Touya: texting her rn 😍

You: omg 😳

You: but on a real I feel horrifically left out

You: Toga keeps flaunting it in my face

Touya: That little freak got one?

Touya: Who

You: yk that girl in 1-A with the chubby cheeks

You: they r so cute omg

You: how come toga has a lesbian lover and I’m jobless and hoeless 😔

Touya: I can help with one of those things

You: u hiring???

Touya: I’ll be ur valentine

You: I can’t tell if ur joking

Touya: I’m not

You: do u have one romantic bone in ur body

Touya: I can think of one 😳

You: LMAO EW

Touya: Nah fr I’ll be ur valentine

You: okay…

You: ask me properly tho

Touya: Okay

Touya: Hey Y/N

You: oh hi Touya! What’s up

Touya: Will u do me the great honour of being my valentine?

You: 😊 yes!

Touya: Thank you 😊😍

February 10th

2:02 pm

Touya: Omg

Touya: Y/N guess what

You: don’t text me in class lil bro

Touya: Someone asked me to be their valentine 🤪

You: what

You: Who

You: is she in our homeroom

You: did u tell her ur mine

Touya: Woahh

Touya: Jealous much

You: no I just don’t want to be a side piece 😔

Touya: No Dw I told her I’m urs 🥺

You: shush

You: yk what I meant

You: who was it tho

Touya: Idk some girl in my maths class

Touya: She seemed pretty sad when I said no

Touya: The ladies love me

You: she’ll get over it!

Touya: LOL

February 14th

8:03 am

You: OMG

You: ARE THESE FLOWERS MINE

Touya: No I got them for ur dad actually

You: TOUYAAA

You: THEYRE MY FAVS

You: THANM U SM

Touya: Anytime Valentine

February 14th

1:20 pm

Touya: Meet at my car

Touya: I’m taking u out for lunch

You: thank gosh

You: they’re selling some mystery meatloaf type deal and I’m no happy

You: hawksy wants to come too

Touya: No

Touya: Just u

You: girl he’s not gonna do anything

Touya: No this is like

Touya: Hold on

You: okay hawks is looking at his phone and typing

You: r u texting him

You: okay he magically doesn’t wanna come along anymore

Touya: Aw :((

Touya: I’m waiting outside

You: see u in a bit smelly

February 14th

1:50 pm

You: ur such a child

You: IM RIGHT IN FRONT OD U JUST TALK TO ME

Touya: NO

You: WHY

Touya: IK SCARED

You: I can see u smiling

Touya: Shut up

Touya: Okay listen

Touya: If u don’t like what I’m about to say we r going to act like this never happened okay

Touya: I will delete the message out of existence and thus out of ur mind

You: okay…

Touya: Okay so I kind of like actually asked u to be my Valentine not just because ur lonely

Touya: And I like really like you

Touya: As in like like

Touya: But I don’t wanna ruin our friendship because ur the best friend I’ve ever had and will ever have

Touya: So if u don’t feel the same we can just pretend this never happened

February 14th

8:00 pm

You: I’m home safe xxx

Touya: Don’t care

You: okay mr message me when ur back

You: okay mr parked in my driveway to make sure I got in okay???

Touya: Shut up

You: wait hold on

You: is that why uninvited hawks

You: so that u could ask me out

Touya: Yeah and the sky is also blue

You: SHUT UL

Touya: He’s so stupid yk

Touya: It was his idea ??

Touya: And he forgot

You: hey three’s a party!

Touya: So you would’ve kissed me as aggressively as you did if Hawks was there?

You: wait ur right..

You: Oh well

You: it was about time anyways

You: took u like three years and u did it over DMS

Touya: I’m shy 🥺

You: EW TF

You: I take the kiss back

Touya: These hickeys tell me a different story

You: HSUTUP

Touya: You love it

You: I love YOU 🫵

Touya: Yeah

Touya: Love you too

—————————————————————————

This was NOT supposed to end with a confession but I physically cannot help myself 😅 I love these text posts they’re so fun!!

Hope u all enjoyed <3

[getmeoutofhell]

Ghostface group chat 3?

a/n: a lovely friend asked me to make another chat fic, so i decided to do it. hope you enjoy: @angeldiarybook ✌🏾💞

The Junkies

y/n: one of y’all fuckers who used the shower last better clean it

stu: wasn’t me i showered two days ago 😏

y/n: funky.

stu: :(

ethan: sorry, it may have been me…i was shaving.

quinn: dude tmi wtf

ethan: my bad

y/n: go clean that shit up now

ethan: yes ma’am

mickey: 😂

roman: what the hell is going on?

amber: ethan didn’t clean the shower and there was hair in it

roman: oh.

amber: yeah

y/n: okay so why the hell is this kitchen a mess?!?! y’all mothefuckers on some nasty shit 💀

y/n: y’all better get down here and clean it up

billy: or what?

y/n: don’t do it and watch what happens.

billy: shiver me timbers 💀

stu: oh no so scary 😱

y/n replied to billy: didn’t your own girlfriend shot you in the head? oh okay.

mickey: LMAO

amber: 😭😭

quinn: damnnn 😭

ethan: hey y’all i’m back

ethan replied to y/n: damn that’s brutal 😂

billy: fuck off y/n.

ethan: that was hilarious y/n!! 😂😂👏🏻

billy: ethan stfu

riche: yo what i miss

richie: wait nvm i came back just in time

y/n: i’m gonna wake up charlie

*charlie in online*

charlie: hey y’all. wsp

amber: it’s about to happen again!!

ethan: it’s not my fault you got offended 🤷🏻

billy: stop dick riding. last time i heard, i’m the original and you’re a fucking copy. watch your mouth virgin.

y/n: oh god…

ethan: and somehow i lasted longer than you did…

billy: come outside.

stu: IS THERE GONNA BE A FIGHT HAPPENING?? CAN I RECORD??? 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

amber: SAME!!

quinn: 5 dollars is on billy!

ethan: hey!

quinn: 🤷🏻‍♀️

ethan replied to billy: go fuck yourself i’m not fighting you. you’re just mad that the sequel did better than the original. not my problem. 😂

mickey: LMAO DAMN

stu: dude.

charlie: i have no words 💀

richie: ethan if you lose this fight your done.

ethan: 💀

billy: nvm here i come.

roman: i swear to fucking god if y’all start fighting and something breaks i’m stabbing all y’all’s asses. including the women.

y/n: tf i do 😭

amber: bro 😭

quinn: that’s crazy

*jill is online*

jill: can all of y’all be quiet i’m trying to nap!!!

stu: then mute your phone pea brain 🤓

jill: shutup

stu: :(

roman: mute your damn phone dumb ass

jill: 🙄🙄🙄

y/n: haven’t heard from ethan and billy in a couple of minutes…

y/n: i should probably go check on them?

amber: yeah probably.

[peachie-bumblebee]

Hey so this might be weird but would you be able to do some Vanessa nsfw Headcanons? If not, I would also like more glamrock chica content

hi love! so at this time i can’t seem to get much inspiration for Vanessa!! it’s not a weird request at all, and I’m currently doing a rewatch of the OG SB content with my partner, so I will put it right there for when I feel more confident in my writing abilities for that character. for now, enjoy some chica content <3

NSFW HEADCANONS WITH GLAMROCK CHICA- EXTENDED

NSFW MINORS DNI

she’s actually so baby girl

CW: GENERAL KINK DISCUSSION, LIGHT DISCUSSION OF IMPACT PLAY

i’m actually so obsessed with her you have no idea. no no idea.

as before mentioned, she’s a toy FREAK

she gets her toys either through discreet delivery (she has a deal with a worker where if they get it to her no questions asked, she’ll let them hide in her room for good chunks of their shift) or adult customers (aspiring groupies) have caught onto the fact that if they give her ones, she’ll take them

she eSPECIALLY loves when they give her something more custom to her design and aesthetic.

her type is anyone she can find cute. seriously. if she can make them blush once, she’s starting to think about the soonest she can get them into a closet

don’t get me wrong, she’s not the type to initiate first- she’s very careful about it. but if the vibe is there and they’re both receptive, then yeah. she wants them on her dick and sucking her clit!!

chica is a FREAK and i’m tired of y’all saying she isn’t. she’s also mostly a top..

i want you to look at her stretch her arms in that gif. really look at it.

she’s got a little heart design on her pussy front hshsshghjss

and her clit is pink

LOVES fingering. she loves fingering her partners, getting fingered, both at the same time-

she likes to have her partners touch themselves for her to watch across the room. literally put on a show for her!!

thinks its cute when they get shy but always shows them how not to be ;)

makes those sharp giggle-gasps during sex hhh

she LOVES quickies. she’ll show up backstage ready for a show and have been in you 5 minutes prior

i’m sorry but she and Roxy have fucked at least once. it’s just to blow off steam and it doesn’t affect their friendship much, but they’re definitely close

once got caught by a security worker sneaking 3 people in 😭😭😭

as mentioned in Animalistic- she’s very willing to help her friends out for anything having to do with their sex lives

if they need her maze, or a toy, or someone to watch and degrade? she’s down !!

she’s pretty passionate about the guitar so her fingers are literally programmed to help her be quick with them. she will use this to your advantage

CHICA ONE NIGHT IM ACTUALLY BEGGING

she LOVES it when someone gets on their knees to eat her out. loves that shit, she leans back and gets comfy

she’s so so cute during aftercare omg. she’s a cuddler.

she would 100% get her partner some cute lil collar or something with her logo that they could wear

her strap giving style is definitely a lot of hip movement and full, quick thrusts

she just gives good dick. she just does.

she’s so good at handjobs stfu. stfu she is. she’s the type to kinda giggle through the whole thing cuz she thinks her partners reactions are adorable

BAD BITCH WANNA FUCKKK 😩😩😩😩

i’m sorry i feel like i might be the only one but LORD she has me giggling and 🤭🤭🤭🤭

i can see her being into giving impact play, but not too hard at all. it’s more of things that lightly to mediumly sting and slap then anything too extreme in that area

if she’s bottoming she’s still a bit of a power bottom

i don’t see her getting all melty and submissive like that

AINT NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT THO ‼️‼️‼️

her pussy probably tastes like strawberries

i hoped you enjoyed! be sure to comment, reblog w tags and comments, and requests!! it really makes my day <3 love you all!

[something-awful1]

my thoughts while rewatching all of Helluva Boss in honor of the S2 trailer PT 5 (getting this one out last minute let's goooo)

WESTERN ENERGY - i remember this one :/ - i hate andrealphus oh my god - dude the tone of this is so off - how is bro staying on this horse he's like levitating - blitzo's little laugh omg pop off brandon rogers - reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally can't say that word anymore - i hate this goat's voice - oh it's vivienne - this song is so bad kill me now - no cause i actually hate the pacing of this episode - oooo classism, how fun - bro why did the dude call moxxie "queer boy" im sobbing - this dialogue kill me now - i don't even have words i hate this - i feel like this scene is only here bc A) they wanted ed bosco to sound sexy B) they're not allowed to show what happens during the full moon - hate this sequence - hate it - am i the only one who thought andrealphus talking to his sister the way he does it... kinda weird? like it gives me such a weird vibe - "you're so lucky you're attractive" WHAT THE FUCK - your sister is not your "fiery vixen" stfu elsa - okay but bryce pinkham is popping off again he makes this episode worth watching - dude this episode is so heavily censored what's happening - EW THE FIGHT SEQUENCE MAKES ME WANNA KMS OMG - i hate the music change - idk why watching moxxie fight is so visually satisfying though - "hey let's play a game! how many times can we make the same sex joke over and over again in one episode?" -vivienne, probably - how does such a bad episode have such a good ending. like genuinely i'm so mad about this because the whole "stolas got hurt?" thing and the hospital scene at the end is so PERFECT and if the episode were just written better, it would've been amazing

UNHAPPY CAMPERS - i kinda like the opening sequence ngl - perfectionist moxxie, we stan - okay but like... why did they choose to be siblings - this is.... so cringe - dude the double standard is CRAAAZY - i hate this number so much kill me now - like we wanted millie to get a solo but.... not this. god, not this - HELP WHY IS THE "moxxie sobbing uncontrollably" SUBTITLE SO FUNNY TO ME - i'm so lost - "child screams in futility" - this is a cool fight sequence though - tf is this song - HELP THE CAPTIONS - "like it's so graphic" "there goes the tube top" "exhibitionism activated" I'M SOBBING - stop being mean to moxxie where did the truth seekers character development go OOPS - love the opening music - guys alex brightman is at it again - imagine betting flustered by your own dirty comment OZZIE - DICKS IN THE VAN - queives >>> - i love this episode, like i'm not gonna have a lot of commentary because i just wanna watch it - were those condoms that just flew out of his pants? - "birdy babe" i love him omg - OWL IN A CAGE INSTRUMENTAL SPOTTED - wow ngl kinda ballsy to play a video sent by fizz in front of stolas, ozzie - wow these two are both like... idiots - they both have like... the worst kept secrets in hell - help i love the dialogue in this episode so much - wow blitzo would EAT at pool - i remember everyone theorizing for YEARS about the fire and when this episode came out we weren't even surprised because we got it right so we were all like.... "yeah" - "fizz fighty sounds" - real ones remember "i'm getting paid to write this" - YALL READY FOR ONE OF THE BEST SONGS IN THE SERIES - yeah i said it, look at this is one of the best - it's up there with owl in a cage and you will be okay - why is it always "wyd" and never "THE SECRET TO BITCOIN COMPUTERS AND MICROCHIPS-" - crimson's confused face during the italian bit is so funny - ALESSIO DOES A MOM HAND AT CRIM - stiker going slowly insane is so cool to watch omg - stan asexual king striker - "get fucked little one" are we talkin to the lawyer dude or fizz... - i love that episode so much MAMMON'S MUSICAL MID SEASON WHATEVER THE FUCK - YALL I AM SO TIRED - so exhausted - fuck you mammon - written by vivienne medrano - i have no thoughts i just love this episode - like the pacing is SO GOOD - i need a therapist fizzy ngl - "if you wanna fuck em' you can!" and then IMMEDIATELY says "fizzy for the kids" i'm sobbing - "royal big man" BLITZO I LOVE YOU - HOUSE OF ASMODEUS INSTRUMENTAL SPOTTED - okay but ozzie's "undercover" outfit.... doesnt eat - OKAY MAMMON HAS SOME AMAZING SOUND EFFECTS WHY COULDN'T WE DO THAT FOR ALASTOR IN HAZBIN - i love this dialogue so much - i hated juggling iz cool when i first heard it but it grew on me - it's catchy - ill be honest i don't really get the clown contest thing - cue the cutest sequence in any helluva episode ever - i can't put into words how much i love the asl scene - sir your ass is out - klown bitch also grew on me after a while - BUT LIKE SERIOUSLY I DON'T GET THE CLOWN COMPETITION??? LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY, RIGHT? RIGHT? WHY IS IT JUST A CONCERT - literally zoned out through the entirety of crooked - like it's okay but they deserved a WAAAAAAY better number - THIS SONG SLAPS THOUGH - TWO MINUTES NOTICE HAS MY HEART - literally zoned out for all of this i should sleep omg - blitzo is out here asking the important questions

I'M FINALLY DONE

happy full moon ya'll <3

[otterandterrier360]

Rating things my best friend has said in her sleep

“Owwwww” *farts* *moans loudly*

“I sniff dick” *sniffs air* “Delicious” 10/10 made me wheeze so bad I had like a 10 minute coughing session

“I smell…colors?” 6/10 Okay Moxxie.

*sits up and stares at me* “hi.” *collapses back into pillows* 2/10 UM HI?!

“Fucking dyke ass hoe” *rolls over and cups her titty* 0/10 Okay I know I cut my hair short but there is no reason for name calling

*singing* “tullatubbies tinkly winky dipsy doooooo” 10/10 I was singing this all day and it pissed her off so bad 🤣

“Billy. Billy stop.” 4/10 WHO TF IS BILLY? WHAT IS HE DOING?!

“FUCK NO!“ 5/10 who tf are you talking to? Is Valentino trying to make you a pimp?

*wails* “no wait that’s overselling it” *quietly wails* “yeah that’s it” 67/10 Yasss qween slayyyyyy

BEEEEEEEEE 2/10 girl stfu there’s no reason to be yelling it’s 3am she ain’t here

“sacrifice to the blood lord Cthulhu” -5744788544/10 IM SORRY WHAT?!

“Dad I love you but if your going to smoke a cigarette go outside and not in front of my children” 1/10 BRO WHAT? YOU DONT EVEN HAVE KIDS

[sanaexus]

social's as nagi's girlfriend

-liked by reo.miikage, isaichii and 132.6k others

yourusername: he loves me (i'm lying to myself also all he does is play games but he won't let me go anywhere 😔)

tagged: nagi.seishiro

reo.miikage: he doesn't he loves me (we're both js making fools of ourselves) ↳yourusername: the difference is i can sit on his lap whenever and you can't ↳reo.miikage: girl stfu i legit carry your boyfie around ↳yourusername: boy don't be seen talking when i'm the one who he fucks every night ↳chigi.who: b y e . ↳hiyori: WHAT THE FUCK?? ↳isaichii: is that why he's always tired at soccer practice? ↳yourusername: idk don't ask me ↳mikka.kaiser: FOR THE LAST DAMN TIME IT'S FOOTBALL. YOU WANNA BE AMERICAN SO BAD GO GUN DOWN A BUILDING OR SOMETHING ↳alexis.ness: that was rude ↳mikka.kaiser: oh i don't care ↳nagi.seishiro: stop spamming the fuck?

user1: came here to see y/n content not some 6'3 prodigy man child who considers breathing a hassle ↳nagi.seishiro: it is ↳user2: girl??? ↳yourusername: mb 😔😔

julian.loki: minecraft's mid roblox better ↳user3: never in a million year would i have imagined julian loki saying that ↳yourusername: YOU LEGIT SCAM AND E-DATE KIDS IN BROOKHAVEN TFYM (come play dress to impress w me pls) ↳julian.loki: IT'S THEIR FUCKING FAULT THEY KEEP THE HOUSE UNLOCKED OFC I'LL STEAR THEIR MONEY (omw)

megubachi: SHOES IN THE HOUSE???? ↳shoei.barou: disgusting ↳yourusername: I'M SORRY ↳yourusername: barou is like the levi of bluelock except taller and he didn't lose an eye and two fingers ↳karasu_tabito: DO YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME? LIKE SOME PEOPLE ARE TRY MOVE ON OVER HERE ↳nagi.seishiro: she cried about it for like 4 months ↳yourusername: SHUT UP I DIDNR ↳eita.otoya: HAHA NO BALLS ↳yourusername: SUCK MY DICK BITCH ↳eita.otoya: YOU DON'T HAVE ONE?? ↳yourusername: SAYS WHO? ↳shiidoryu: ILL VOUCH FOR YOU IF YOU SHOW ME YOUR COCK ↳yourusername: BET ↳shiidoryu: Y/N HAS A 9 INCH DICK nagi.seishiro: you weren't complaining 5 minutes ago :x ↳yourusername: STFU SROp ↳nagi.seishiro: anw come back you're warm and human and better than a hoodie ↳yourusername: tfym human?? ↳nagi.seishiro: idk js come

-liked by reo.miikage, itoshi_sae and 121.5k others

yourusername: no bc the one time we go outside for a date it has to be an arcade

tagged: nagi.seishiro

reo.miikage: sigh i guess we'll always be second to games ↳yourusername: TFYM "WE" BRO IT'S ME NOT U ↳reo.miikage: HE'S MY BESTFRIEND?? ↳yourusername: HE'S MY BOYFRIEND??

nagi.seishiro: yeah but i got you all the prizes you wanted ↳yourusername: yeah and i'm gonna go hug mr.masha instead of you bc he actually pays attention to me ↳nagi.seishiro: sigh i'm coming over

karasu_tabito: wtf was bro doing ↳yourusername: idk he prolly js felt silly and bachira's monster came over him ↳megubachi: my monster didn't like that ↳yourusername: tell him i'll give him kisses ↳nagi.seishiro: no you won't ↳yourusername: rudeee

kuniisuke: bigger question is how did y/n manage to drag him out ↳yourusername: don't ask me how i did i js did it was hard ↳eita.otoya: isn't that some tiktok audio ↳yourusername: yes and? ↳megubachi: SAY THAT SHIT W YOUR CHEST AND ↳megubachi: oh wait we aren't doing that this time?

shiidoryu: biggest question is did y/n win anything by herself? ↳nagi.seishiro: no ↳reo.miikage: nope ↳isaichii: no way ↳rin.itoshi: no ↳itoshi_sae: no ↳shoei.barou: no ↳nikkoki: nah ↳karasu_tabito: not happening ↳eita.otoya: nuh uh ↳mikka.kaiser: not in this lifetime ↳yourusername: Y'ALL ARE SO RUDE WOW BYE I'M GONNA GO CRY TO ANRI AB THIS 🤬🤬🤬

user4: my roman empire is that rin, sae and barou the people who barely use social media still frequently interact with y/n posts (mostly to insult her) ↳yourusernames: haters gon hate 💔💔

nagi.seishiro: her being very pretty makes up for the fact she didn't win anything (i wasn't held at gunpoint) ↳reo.miikage: blink twice if you need head ↳yourusername: ?? ↳hiyori: ????? BEO ↳reo.miikage: oops i meant help

-liked by nikkoki, kuniisuke and 198.6k others

yourusername: woahh my boyfriend can kick a ball (he's so cool) anw i forced them to make that heart

tagged: nagi.seishiro

isaichii: i don't know what the fuck you did to motivate that man but pls do it again ↳yourusername: I DIDNT DO ANYTHING?? ↳nagi.seishiro: promised me kisses ↳yourusername: that wasn't me that was either reo or your side chick ↳chigi.who: nah he's too lazy to have a side chick it'll prolly be a "hassle" to keep her a secret ↳user4: LMFAO ↳reo.miikage: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING I THINK I'D REMEMBER PROMISING MY BESTFRIEND KISSES?? ↳nikkoki: you're saying bestfriend as if you don't drool over him

shoei.barou: never let y/n come to a match again making that heart was harder than the fucking match ↳rin.itoshi: the next time i see her she better run. ↳eita.otoya: that shit fucking hurt. ↳nagi.seishiro: it was such a hassle ↳isaichii: loved the winning hated the "celebration" ↳megubachi: IT WASN'T THAT BADD ↳chigi.who: GIRL THAT SHIT NEARLY BROKE MY KNEE ↳yourusername: can you even break a knee though? ↳yourusername: EXACTLY BACHIRA GETS ME IT WASN'T THAT BAD IT WAS MAKING A HEART YALL CAN PLAY A 90 MINUTE MATCH BUT NOT MAKE A HEARt????

nagi.seishiro: you look pretty cheering me on ↳yourusername: bye ily ↳nagi.seishiro: i love you more

i forgot oliver existed so im gonna add him from now

[trin-gvf]

J.M.K - studdy buddies

1.3k words, minors DNI

josh x fem!reader

WARNINGS: sub!josh, fem!dom, (m) virginity, dumbification

y/n: hurry up, we need to finish this project.

joshua: stfu i'm omw

y/n: i'm not failing because of your ass. be here in 15 minutes or i'm kicking your ass.

you sighed and tossed your phone back down onto the bed. you had got paired with joshua kiszka. the class clown. he was one of the most obnoxious people you would've ever met. you were in college for fuck sakes and he still was acting like it was sophomore year of highschool.

you buried your face back into your history book. you needed to write an essay but joshua wouldn't fucking show up on time. you were rather fixated on your grades. college was fucking hard and you didnt want to repeat anything. 

by the 20 minute mark, joshua had knocked on your dorm door. when you opened the door, you saw him with his backpack and all his books. 

"you're 5 minutes late." your voice was cold. 

"it's 5 minutes!" 

"5 minutes we could've been working on this project." 

"whatever man, where are we studying?" his voice sounded defeated. 

"my room, it's this way." 

down a short hallway and to the right was your room. the window was open, showing you a perfect overview of the entire campus with its shining lights. 

once the two of you sat down on the floor, opening your books to the appropriate page. 

"so, what do we need to do?"

"well, we're studying world war 2. we need to talk about how and why we entered world war 2, the jewish resistance during world war two and europe after the war."

josh nodded, trying to keep eye contact with you. 

"so, i was thinking we could go back and forth with each paragraph, talking about each topic." you explained, scrolling through your class assignment on the shared google doc. 

"okay, so..america entered-" you sighed when you saw josh on his phone. 

"josh!! are you even listening?!?" 

"yes! yes i am!" 

"can't listen if you're on your damn phone."

"whatever. why did america enter world war 2?"

you groaned and laid on your stomach, pushing your limbs out into a stretch.

the two of you continued talking about various different topics about the war. although josh was getting his work done efficiently, he kept getting distracted.

"josh? what's distracting you? do we have a problem?"

"no..it's uhm-..no it's nothing" he said, a blush slowly creeping up his neck. 

"are you sure? doesn't look like it." 

you finally caught what was causing all the issues. you watched him take in a small look at your tits. 

"oh..joshua. are my tits a distraction?"

"its- no…no i think-" 

"no? hm..that's weird, it seems like it."

"no no no i was just thinking…about…the assignment." 

"joshua, you're blushing harder than i've ever seen before."

he didn't say anything, just looked away.

"do you wanna touch me josh? wanna touch my tits?" 

"i've…i've never.."

"never what joshy? never touched a pretty girl?" 

he shook his head no. you cleared the books out of your way and scooted closer to him. at this point you could whisper into his ear. 

"go ahead, touch me, josh." 

you grabbed his hand and led it up to your chest, slowly hovering over your tit. he looked up into your eyes, anxiety prominent in them. 

"don't worry, my sweet boy. i wont hurt you." your voice was low in his ear, making his dick jump in his pants.

he slowly felt more comfortable and groped at them. 

"is-is that okay? i don't-" 

"it's fine joshy, I'm not gunna break." 

he nodded and squeezed a bit harder, groaning when he did so.

"they're so soft"

"such a good boy, tell mama how good they feel."

he whined and pushed his dick up into the air. you took the hint and dragged a finger over the outline of his clothed cock.

you crawled into his lap and gave a small peck to his lips. 

"is this okay, joshy?" 

he swallowed hard and nodded. the poor boy under you sounded as if he just got done running a marathon. he was so out of breath you were sure he came in his pants already. 

your eyes lit up with an idea. you slowly dragged your hands to the bottom of your shirt, bringing it up just a tiny bit to get to the clamp of your bra. you swiftly undid your bra, dropping it between your and josh's body. 

"look, feel how soft." you practically whispered, grabbing his hand once again, placing it on your chest. 

"y/n..i-"

you knew he'd say some bullshit, so you decided to shut him up by kissing him. you put a hand on his face, bringing him in closer before pulling away. you couldn't help but for once be in awe about the man in front of you.

"my blushy boy" you said, running your thumb over his cheek. it wasn't hard to see josh's cock jumping every time you talked to him.

you took the hand that was on his cheek and slowly trailed it down his body, when finally your hand was once again over his dick. 

"can i touch you, josh?" you leaned into his ear and whispered. 

"please…please do" 

you were quick with your movements, moving your bra out of the way and pulling his zipper down after unbuttoning his pants. you pulled his boxers down slightly, letting his cock jump out in its full glory. 

it made your mouth water and your eyes go big. 

"do you trust me, baby?" 

he nodded his head quick, wanting to release already. you stood up, walking into your bathroom and grabbing a condom from one of the drawers. 

as you walked back into the bedroom, you saw josh's hand on his cock. 

you bent down, slapping his hand away and grabbed his face. 

"if i'm not the one getting you off tonight, you're not getting to cum. do you understand?" 

he weakly nodded and gave you a pleading look. 

"you're so lucky i'm nice." 

you got up, getting rid of your pants, showing the underwear you had on. they framed your ass perfect. you slowly took off the underwear, leaving you in your shirt. you straddled josh's lap on the floor and helped him take his shirt off and to free his cock just a bit more. 

you took the condom off of where you had set it down, tearing the top of it off. you took the condom out and slowly rolled it onto his cock. 

"such a pretty cock." you slowly aligned his cock to where itd slide in with ease. you sat down, taking your time to let josh adjust to the new feelings. 

you could tell he kept staring at your tits. 

"if you want them out, do it yourself." you slowly started to grind against his cock, putting your hands behind you to keep your balance. 

josh dug his nails into your lower back, slowly inching their way up. 

"do it, baby. don't be scared" you told him, out of breath. 

his shaking hands lifted your shirt above your tits, showing the piercings you had in full view. 

"oh my god- holy fuck"

he played around with your tits as he got closer and closer to cumming. eventually he got courage and started to fuck up into you. he wrapped his arms around your waist, using it to his best ability to push his cock into you. 

once his thrusts got sloppy, you knew he was about to let go. 

"do it, do it for me sweet boy. you're doing so well for me, aren't you?"

he nodded before pushing deep into your pussy, letting his cum fill up the condom. you came soon after, the last thrust being just what you needed to finish.

you both were a heaving mess, chests falling and rising with each deep breath you took. 

josh was too in shock to say much, just pulled you closer into his body. 

"let's start fresh tomorrow."

[zukump3]

awkward sex moments ✧ hc

sex isn’t always perfect. there’s bound to be some mishaps here and there.

genre: nsfw elements obviously but no full out smut, comedy, fluff aged up!!

a/n: this is based on this headcanon post! i loved it a lot and wanted to try it xx

you honestly thought you were gonna get some bomb sex tonight

izuku had a pretty tension filled day

him and bakugo argued more than they usually did, and izuku seemed pretty pissed off when he got back in his dorm

of course you weren’t only focused on sex from him

but when stuff like this happened, you usually got that from him

he would take out some anger out on you 😏

so you assume this’ll be one of those days

you sit in his lap while he crashes in his spinny chair near his desk

he’s kissing you back, his hands rough on every part of your body

making lots of grunts full of annoyance

he’s not being as... dominant, but you don’t mind taking control when you need to

you lure him over to his bed, your bodies crashing on his sheets

you make out for what feels like hours

but when you reach down his body he’s

flaccid.

like, completely flaccid. not hard in the slightest.

you’re a little confused but you ignore it, grinding your hips up against his

pushing him on his back

even pulling his hair just how he likes

but he’s not getting

aroused

at all.

“babe?” you ask, frowning just a bit. “something wrong?”

“i’m sorry!” he apologizes loudly, already red in the face.

“i’m too—i guess i’m too mad—i’m sorry... i’m not really in the mood tonight, baby,” a pout appears on his pretty pink lips, green eyes beaming up at you

“but if you’re... in the mood... i wouldn’t mind helping you out-“

you shush him and shake your head

“no need baby. cmere~”

you hug him close and comfort him in a much softer way, a way that really gets him to calm down

you guys end up borrowing a dummy from kirishima and beating that up instead lmfao

now

kirishima tries to be as careful with you as he can during sex

due to his quirk, it’s pretty easy for him to hurt you without noticing

so whenever he’s close

his hands usually leave you and grab the headboard or press up against the wall

because they harden, yknow

it’s a late night at the dorms

everything is calm, peaceful

except for you two

yeah. you two are not calm, nor peaceful

you have to be quiet due to everyone else around you

especially bakugo, since he’s literally next door

somehow you two don’t notice kirishima knocking his hardened fist against the wall every time he thrusts into you

you’re too caught up in each other to notice you

but bakugo notices it.

he yelled at you two to shut the fuck up like three times but the bumping just keeps happening

so bakugo gets tf up and rushes to kirishima’s dorm

he doesn’t care what you two do, just stfu while doing it. he needs his sleep

so imagine kirishima’s surprise when he’s literally a second away from cumming and bakugo bursts inside his dorm.

“i told you to shut the hell!!-“

kirishima is so fucking scared that he punches the wall so hard it leaves a big ass fucking crack in it

and the crack is bad

like pieces of the wall falling off bad

you’re scarred

bakugo is flabbergasted

kirishima can’t look at bakugo for a week straight after that

another one that would accidentally activate his quirk during sex

you two have been going at it

like

literally for maybe 2-3 hours

school ended early and he’s been teasing you all day so both of you disappeared into his dorm

you’ve been restless

while he may not seem like it, kaminari loooves going multiple rounds with like

5 minute breaks in between 😭

he’s a very horny boy so he needs a lot of you to fill him up for the day

and he’s hot as hell too, so you also need your fill

you’ve done over five positions for the past few hours

but now you’re on top of him, riding him with his hands around your waist

and his feet are flat against the bed, thrusting up into your tight heat

he is completely entranced in the feeling of you

“mmmm... hnggg.. y/n, ohhh, fuck.”

his eyes are closed, mind on you and only you

when he’s horny his quirk usually acts up

it sends tiny sparks to his cock or just throughout his body in general

and sometimes you feel them, but it’s very rare

however.

he didn’t know why it happened

and why it happened so strongly

but when you clenched around him

not only did his cock spark

his hands did too.

and you fucking felt it.

electricity from your head to your toes

kaminari could only watch helplessly as your naked body looked like it was fucking glitching in the matrix

the next thing you remember is waking up to kaminari’s crying face

with kirishima’s worried one, sero’s amused one, and bakugo’s very confused one

they had to take you to recovery girl OMGGF

the embarrassment

kaminari gave you flowers and chocolate for a week after that 😭

a fateful day where you two are trying out a new position

it’s like doggy style, but he has your arms pinned behind your back and his foot on the back to ram into you nice and hard

yeah. yeah.

he was doing just that.

the pleasure both of you are getting from this is on another level

not only can you feel every inch of his dick

but the fact that he’s got you pinned like this is hot as fuck

and he’s using so much effort to fuck you

it’s just

yes.

along with that, you feel fucking good

your body being so stretched out just looks so hot to him

and he can bury himself as deep as he wants inside you

and of course, having you pinned like this is all he wants

now. we all know you’re supposed to pee before sex right?

yeah. yeah.

i’m so sorry

you’ve squirted with bakugo before

he’s made you squirt plenty of times, accidentally and on purpose

you know how that feels and you know how peeing feels, but sometimes when you’re just so lost in pleasure,, you can’t tell a difference!

you feel like you’re about to cum but

you’ve only been fucking for like

three minutes

and while this position is great and all, you never cum that fast

so you decide to prank him a little

you can tell he’s getting in the groove before you let out a sharp gasp of pain

followed by a loud whimper. like an injured dog whimper

and he nearly freezes

“wait! w—wait!” you screamed, and bakugo just about had a fucking heart attack. “stop!!”

“huh?!” he yelled back, immediately letting go and taking you into his arms. “what?! did i pull your arms too hard or something?! fuck, i’m so sorry-“

“no,” you mumble, your eyes meeting his.

“i need to pee.”

his eyes turned into slits so goddamn fast

“you crazy bitch!” he yelled at you once again, immediately pushing you towards the bathroom, growling at the sound of your roaring laughter. “don’t you scare me like that ever again! dammit, you made me almost piss my damn self!”

he definitely went a little bit harder in that position for that ^_^

[jaysgirlx]

I know he def bites your hand if you try to put it over his mouth :((

dick ‘can’t-stop-yapping-during-sex’ grayson. send post

[clearlyshyobservation]

Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective 

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

[friiday-thirteenth]

right right right c a m p

ok. ok so it was very long and I'm unbelievably tired but also my head says write it down so uh

day one- five hour bus ride. it was fun, bc the person I was sitting beside slept the whole time and I got to joke around with the guys, who were surprisingly chill. they only brought up p*rn once, which is like.... good for them all things considered lmao

then we had the tramp in. the campsite where we were staying at the first night was the farthest from base, and one group biked in while the other tramped.

my groups tramp took s i x h o u r s. no other groups went over five. we had to keep stopping bc a) one kid was feeling sick, b) one kid rolled her ankle and c) we weren't allowed to sprint off into the Bush and potentially die without an instructor with us.

so there were like, four of us who were constantly at the front, and they were: me, my crush, my crushes best friend, bitch-who-bullied-me.

twas interesting.

we got the campsite in the dark, after a river crossing in which my socks got soaked, as did my shoes, and the tents and food were already sorted for us so that was great. food was shit, though. mince that was half brown water and cold pasta.kept us going, though, and as became my motto throughout camp, food is food.

that night was the only time I cried. kinda sad, tbh, but it was bc on the 'girls' side (as we all know that if the boys and girls tents were together, absolutely everyone would just be going at it, of course (jfc they have a low opinion of year tens (we sorta deserve it though, stuff happened with last years year tens...))) everyone else was paired up and even the people in three person tents didnt want me in there 🥰🥰🥰🥰 really felt the love there, guys.... jokes on them I slept by myself each night and was ready within five minutes each morning. actually really glad they showed how much they didnt care abt me bc it was really nice being alone in the wilderness, and that's not sarcasm.

anyway. day two.

woke up, was ready within ten minutes bc I woke with the leaders, who wake ten minutes before we're meant to and get themselves and breakfast ready before we're up. (I'm really fast at waking up, but take ages to go to sleep. like, everyone has to stfu before my body's able to start shutting down, and as soon as there's people moving around I'm up like a shot.)

anyway. I had eaten breakfast and was washing up before anyone else came out. next kid out was my crush, and we bitched about people taking forever for a while, which was fun.

then we waited for ages for everyone else to get sorted out, blah blah blah, and we had the bike ride back. 11.5 kilometers, I think,mostly downhill for us.

it was fun! I'm not a brilliant biker, but I kept near the middle-front of the group, and i just. let go of the brakes going downhill. and these hills were bloody steep and gravelly, plus the dips and river crossings.

I didnt fall off the bike, but one kid did lmao. there was this sharp turn before a metal gate, and He saw the gate and started pulling kn the brakes, but he hit the front brakes and just. flipped. the bike crashed into me and he went to the ground.

it was funny in the afterwards, but the kid got rather grazed lmao. he's not dead though, so that's good.

we were at the campsite that was, in my opinion, the coldest that night. also I slept in a three person instead of a two person, and by myself that meant more body heat was going into the tent. brrr. but we also did the nightline activity(hold onto a rope and follow it through the dark forest while blindfolded and with a helmet on. highly recommend it. go do it with friends u trust lmao)

I was behind this slow kid and he tripped at one point so I just. went ahead of him. then I spent around half an hour walking through the dark by myself (I walked into five trees. each time I took a step back, glared at it through the blindfold fifty five seconds and then continued around it with a muttered bitch. I'm nothing if not dramatic.) before I crashed into my crush hehe. it was near the end and we just got to the end at the same time, where two others already were. it was chill, we talked for a while. bullied people who were going through it by whacking trees they were near with sticks and shaking the line as they tried to use it. (we were allowed to, dw)

the next day, we went canyoning and holy frick frack fuckedy fuck fuck, that was c o l d. freezing. I jumped into the water and nearly died (exaggerated) but my crush jumped through a fricken waterfall and couldnt feel his hands or feet for ten minutes. another kid was walking funny bc he'd waited in the water for five minutes, and this shit was cold enough that we were wearing wet suits and thermals.

once we were dry and dressed (we got to have showers. h e a v e n (I only took 10 seconds bc like, why tf would you need a longer one? people took fifteen minutes, like wtf)) we went rock climbing! which was brilliant, honestly. I liked the belaying more (I've got this thing where I prefer people trust me than me trusting them, hmmm I wonder why) but also climbed the hardest one! it was really fun, and I only fell like fourteen time at one point (lmao,the rope caught me each time but I looked like a fuvking idiot hehe)

then we slept at a campsite which had a fire kn the beach!! if was so much fun. we also did a solo, which involved us sitting in the wild for twenty minutes and reflecting upon camp. I lay on the ground and stared at the moon. it was lovely and peaceful, until two kids started talking.

side note, guys voices are lovely and deep and rumbly and very nice (in general) but girls are generally higher pitched and ugh, it can be v e r y bloody annoying when ur trying to contemplate life.

possums visited camp that night. woke up in the middle of it to a possum crashing into the side if my tent, and I just. stopped breathing for a minute while I listened to it. a possum growling sounds terrifying. look it up!

also heard cows that night. cows are good.

day four, we abseiled. holy s h i t, it was fun. just... sitting there and watching the river and and rock and dangling in midair.... god, I loved it.

then we went to the high ropes course. this was b r i l l i a n t. we'd done low ropes st some point, but high ropes involved more belaying, which involved, and then at one point, we did a thing called the leap of faith, which was around eight meters high and you climbed to the top of this cylinder of wood before jumping for a trapeze. I knew I wouldn't get it, so I jumped on two when they counted down for me, and I missed lmao. but it was bloody brilliant.

then we had to do a whole shitton of cleanup,which they don't normally get groups to do, but we were s p e c i a l (as in our school gets to clean things we dont even use, sigh) before camping one last night. I had go share with someone, it was gell, packed up at least four tents in the morning bc I was very good at that for some reason,before we hot back to camp and went to the bus and oh, that was brilliant.

I finished my book, chatted with the guys, chatted with my crush for .5 of a second, had that thkng happen where people see you talking to a guy and are like ooOOooohhHHHHHhhh they're dAtiNG bc we're all stupid year tens and it was fucking hilarious (I've never dated anyone, so peopke bloody obsess over pairing me up with someone and I'm just like??? fuckers I'ma child how abt no (sidenote there was a couple on camp and they were cute but uh. year ten relationships dont really last, according to my year 13 camp leader (she was chill af, and basically showed me a whole new perspective on being friends with guys and so in conclusion she's bloody brilliant))) anyway they came up with a ship name for me and the guy and I nearly pissed myself laughing bc its best to laugh along with it and it was really funny tbh

anyway. we also for some reason talked abt sex and porn a lot and it was weird but also kinda chill bc most of the boys are relatively respectful of the girls,in the sense that we all make dirty jokes to each other but don't cross the line, so it was pretty funny and chill. also guys apparently never stop making dick jokes and that type of shit and it was kinda funny tbh

then we got home, grabbed our shit, and legged it away from there.

now I'm gonna rant abt my crush hehe

he was like, oh who's this? when we were walking to dinner in the dark one night (I was in front of him and his friend and he couldn't see my face) and then fucking knew who I was from the way that I walked like mate, why tf do you know how i walk and how to describe it, hmm?

I flipped him off after he said that though it was fucking funny

also!! he just. stared at my eyes and was like, are your eyes different colors? and I was like yeah. and he just nodded slowly and we maintained eye contact for a while. twas weird.

we have staring contests a lot too?? like, he'll look at me or I'll look at him and then at one point he was like, you just stare at people and then tilt ur head, dont you! and I was like wtf dude,but also I kept eye contact bc its a Thing.

also on the bus ride home he just mimicked my facial expressions and it was really bloody funny and j broke out laughed and he smiled

yeah basically I'm hopelessly crushing on him bc he's smart and sarcastic but it never gonna happen so I just wanna be friends type thing. sigh.

ANYWAY. camp was kinda great, at some points it left me feeling like I was so bloody alone and also I felt really shitty mentally but I kept going and i really enjoyed it! yeah! also i nearly cried when i said goodbye to my instructors bc they were brilliant and I'm gonna miss them so bloody much, I'm sad I'll never see them again.

yeah.

[kushamisaru]

The rudeness!! "I'm sorry, it can't wait" girl you can wait 5 more minutes to hop on his dick stfu

[fudgetunblr]

Stranger Things 3: a Character Analysis

Eleven: Her new style is half clown, half edgy teen in the 2010s that was born in “the wrong generation.” Highkey looks like Screech from Saved by the Bell. A lil shit who’s super badass. We loove.

Will: seriously, GIVE. HIM. A. BREAK! HE JUST WANTS TO PLAY D&D WITH HIS FRIENDS, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR??? Lowkey could be gay thoo. They dress him like he’s still season 1 Will, even though Noah has grown and looks like... WAAY too old to pull anything of that off. it’s like he’s a fourteen year old cosplaying as a nine-year-old. Will the wise™. Made me cry like a lil punk. 

Mike: a lil shit 2.0. No, his hair is not nice. Took (1) scolding for him to not meet El. I ain’t calling him weak.. I’m just calling him weak. In love™. A dick to his mum. Has lied (1) once. Friends Boyfriends don’t lie

Dustin: Has a girlfriend because fuck u. Sings duett with said girlfriend for... reasons ????? A genius™. Steve’s favorite ™.

Lucas: Has had the same haircut for three seasons. Has been dumped 5 times™. Gives shitty advice.

Max: Gives slightly less shitty advice. Friend goals™. She was a skater girl, she said see you later boy. El’s Sensei™

Hopper: a snacc™. “Oh, fuck- I can’t believe you’ve done this”. Seriously, I’m about to kick some ass... R.I.P to the real MVP and the only valid character right now.

Joyce: I’m 99% sure the writers hate her because they seriously kill every single guy she ever dates or at the very least makes him an asshole. The real Nancy Drew. 

Murray: love doctor™. [does anyone get a little bit of a gay vibe]

Steve: has won (1) fight™. Has fought Russians™. Daddy™. Hair™. an Ally™. will give away your identity to communists if drugged or possibly if asked nicely.   Is not going to college and cannot score and that’s what you missed on: GLEE! 

Billy: Duffer Brothers after season 2: “we’re not giving Billy a redemption arc”, Duffer Brothers in season 3: “hey, wouldn’t it be funny to give Billy character depth, a backstory, motives for why he acts so evil, have him show genuine emotion towards Max and have her care back, just to kill him off. HAHAHA, yeah, let’s do that!!” 

alt. “She put you on the map” “as a seducer of the elderly.”

Nancy: Hair™. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!”

Jonathan: has apparently won a fight against Steve. Honestly, his main role this season was to be the guy who yelled “LIGHTS!” and to follow along in Nancy’s shadows because the Queen stole the damn show from him

Alexei: a bean who deserved better. The Barb/Benny/Bob of this season. 

Erica: a queen in her own right. Nerd™. The new face of Capitalism. So like ??? the future of America™??? Future D&D player. “I like how people sometimes say I’m four, five- I’M TEN, SO STFU!”

Barb/Bob: Still manages to appear. 

Heather: present

Robin: The gay character we’ve been waiting for, didn’t expect, didn’t deserve, but has still been gifted to us. It’s safe to say that I love her and although I’ve only known her for like a day, if something were to happen to her you’d be sorry. Wing Woman goals. 

Keith/Mr. Clarke: Five minutes of screen-time. 

Tom: Larry Murphy before the events of Dear Evan Hansen. 

Mrs Wheeler: you can talk to her™

Mr Wheeler: the best character™ no question about it. Relatable as heck and steals every scene he’s in. 

Suzie: here to remind you that Gaten used to be on Broadway. as well as Sadie and Caleb. Mormon™

Mrs. Henderson: “MaYBe THey foRGoT”

Mayor Guy: if Capitalism was a person(™?)

Mind Flayer: Alexa, play STFU by Filthy Frank 

Other characters that I haven’t mentioned: valid, but I’m tired 

BONUS!!!

Music: On point™

Squads:

The boys™: "What’s better than this? Guys being dudes” 

Scoops Troop: “when will you learn? when will you learn!?!?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!

Griswold Family: All the normal shit like romance and friendship belongs here. Mindflayer... nah. We’re gonna plot how we’re winning our partners back instead of, gee, idk, TALKING TO THEM !!!  

The Adults™: We’re the Millers, but they’re all adults. 

Mum’s not present: still valid

Mum’s at the pool: IT’S TIME TO STOP !!! 

Erica & Co: lil shits™

Max & Elven: Alexa, play Girl just wanna have fun by Cindy Lauper 

Ships: 

Jopper: Russin Ballad™

Mileven: three inches™

Mucas: will break up 5 times and then get back together.

Byler: wE’Re NoT KIdS ANYmoRE 

Harringrove: at least Steve didn’t get a girlfriend 

Jancy: Sherlock and John alt. Bonnie and Clyde. 

Suzie x Dustin: Will sing weird awkward duet together anf have corny pet names™

[kokainefontaine]

Sooooooooo I decided to make my own post instead of adding a rant to someone else's.

Here goes....

I'm so fucking tired of these fake bougie twitter folk I don't know what to do. Eating the COMPLIMENTARY food being brought to your table to tide you tf over (because 9 times outta 9 the food that you have to not only sift through the menu to find for at minimum 5-10 minutes PLUS THE ACTUAL WAIT TIME OF THEM PREPARING YOUR FOOD AND BRINGING IT OUT is long af) is not "broke behavior". Who in the high hell eats a "pregame meal" before going to a restaurant???? The whole point is to fucking eat there which is why you're going???? And don't get me started on the damn water situation. Like am I supposed to sit there throat parched, dry as fuck until they bring out the beverage that I have to order????

Folk be too busy trying to impress other people they end up looking stupid af. Like nourish your bodies with the damn food and water they bring out until you get the actual meal. Dumb wagon before the horse asses.

And in closing the "maybe that's how they were raised" argument can stay in the trash. Your personal upbringing shouldn't have dick to do with what other people do. Mind ya own plate and if it bothers you that much stfu and move accordingly.