#diary of a passion

[petaltexturedskies]

Virginia Woolf, from a diary entry featured in A Passionate Apprentice: The Early Journals, 1897-1909

[souldagger]

okie so due to popular demand (read: lots of asks) my Sanctuary Moon designs are now:

up on Teepublic

available to download (as pay-what-you-want, starting with $0) on Gumroad, if you'd rather print it urself! :]

[paperbacksunday]

At night, books, talk, passion.

— Anaïs Nin, Henry and June: From the Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin

[woahjo]

mmmm high lord katsuki and new attendant reader…

he’s a cold man, with an icy stare and a fiery temper that is set off at the drop of a hat. the high lord katsuki has a reputation for being harsh on his peers and servants alike, though he has enough political sense to keep the peace.

he’s from an important family, born and bred with a silver spoon in his mouth and taught all of the niceties of good society. katsuki has read all of the classics and, in addition to an impressive family home (which he manages along with familial business), he has an extensive library, which he visits frequently.

you are low-born, only granted to opportunity of reading because your father taught you before he passed away. you’d been forced to find work when he passed and, by some stroke of luck, someone in the kitchens was willing to take you in and have you keep inventory for a small monthly salary. reading and writing comes in handy for that.

you consider yourself unlucky, however, at being noticed by katsuki’s first officer and personal attendant, kirishima, who happens to be of common birth with a position that should belong to a noble and thus, outranks you. well, just about everyone our ranks you. it’s him who recommends you for the “promotion” and lands you in katsuki’s personal office in the main house.

“my lord,” he says, stepping into the room with the comfort only a noble could have. “i’ve brought them.”

“who?” katsuki doesn’t raise his head. his voice is low and gravelly.

“the new serving staff, my lord,” he states. “the one from the kitchen inventory.”

katsuki looks up at this, his gaze unimpressed and unyielding. he looks you over for a moment, staring as if to size you up.

oh, he’s beautiful. it’s shameful thing to think of such a harsh man, but it’s the truth. he almost looks like a painting, with hard set eyes and round lips. you’d expected someone frightening, with harsh features and sharp, cutting proportions befitting of a man with rumors like the ones surrounding him. instead, the man who sits before you seems a prince with a slightly colder gaze. you suppose that his beauty is drowned out by the other rumors surrounding him.

“you said they could read?” katsuki snaps.

“yes, my lord,” he responds.

katsuki doesn’t comment on this, instead, he shifts his gaze to you and harshly barks a question.

“you’re willing to work?”

what does that matter? you don’t have much of a choice.

“yes, my lord.”

“very good,” katsuki says. “kirishima, see her to her quarters.”

kirishima excuses himself and you bow deeply and do the same. katsuki’s gaze lingers on you for a moment as you bow. it is so intense that you can almost feel the moment he tears it from you and returns to pouring over the papers in front of him. he does not look up again as you shut the door.

katsuki gives the impression that he is made of stone, stubborn and immovable. you imagine that his peers have trouble convincing him of anything and you briefly wonder, judging by the hard look he’d given you, if you’ll run into the same trouble.

[meiradraws]

I fancy you. Is that so hard to believe?

[shadowqnights]

crazy how everything about mcd is so much more insane when you apply what i call the dog rule and that is when they are all dogs now in some way shape or form: an analysis.

when garroth is purebred, a hound made to serve, that does not know how to do anything but heel. he has purpose. he is sleek and well-groomed because he has to be, because he has always been tended to. a dog that falls into desperate spiral when that dynamic shifts - because who is he, without someone to follow, protect, love? a dog that becomes flea-bitten and hungry when he runs because he was never taught to take care of himself, to be his own master. he falls apart. he needs this, he knows, but what is he without someone to own him? a dog that cannot lead any kind of pack or family because it is afraid to understand the kind of animal it is if not in submission. if a parent, a teacher, he is promptly punished by his students as cruel reminder that he is not allowed to find joy in anything other than what his makers intended. a dog so desperate that it offers up its own leash to whoever will take it when things crumble - even if it means turning back to distasteful company. as long as it is held at all. time and time again, he tried to tend to the younger, weaker. he tried to feed them and lick their wounds - and time and time again, only to be mauled in turn. no more, he thinks. life was simpler when he was mindless, just four paws and a purpose. if that was what he was bred for, what business does he have pretending?

when laurance is a stray but made out of love. his coat shines thanks to the love of his family, his sister. he is sleek and well-groomed with them. the nether breaks him in, turns him a little wild. gives him cause to show teeth when threatened. when he bites, he mauls. there is something wicked in his animal eyes. he goes for the kill. when he bites, something in him wants it to hurt - whether his prey or himself, he can't tell. a part of the dog believes the suffering is natural because its maker declared it so. the pain wanes in and out like the cycle of the moon; life is unpredictable. he is braced to survive, sometimes with teeth already bared to expect the suffering. constantly on edge, pacing, waiting for the next disaster. a loyal, desperate pet that will follow to the ends of the earth - a desperation that borders on obsession. he will eat you alive, if only you would stay with him, inside of him, never leave him. never look at anyone else the way you would him. don't put him on a leash - let him choose who to lope after. his leash, in fact, is in tatters. he can't be collared. he merely follows, hungry at the heels of who fed him. his sense of duty is not of obligation but of love, a sacred need to stay at the side of those who treated him with kindness and them alone. and worse, he is burdened with the constant fear that if left untethered for too long, that obsession might turn carnal - that if wronged, he may not kill to eat and feel full, but kill merely to feel the blood on his teeth, just to feel the pain. feel something. anything. that he might enjoy the taste of his loved ones. maybe a leash is the right thing. maybe he needs to be caged. he can't bear either thought.

when they both bite the hand that fed them. when they bite each other. when they are dogs and kind of made for each other.

dante is a dog. aaron is a dog. aph is a dog. katelyn? oh you fucking guessed it. ivy. jeffory. zane. yeah. all of them are dogs. welcome to the dog rule fuckers its exactly how it sounds. are you sick of the word dog yet.

[theeoriginals]

Thoughts on how Elijah would snap under sexual tension? I know that man is feral I feel it in my soul 😩

you're so right let me get into it

18+ below the cut

elijah is known as the most level headed but we all know that's not really true. the man has so many feelings and even if he does appear calm on the outside, he is always battling something internally

including sexual tension

he's a total martyr so he'd have some sort of "you can't touch her, you'll ruin her" thing going on in his head, and the whole time you're sitting there like "does he even want me?" and it turns into a whole "will they won't they" ordeal with so much mutual pining

he wants you so bad... like so bad it consumes him

and he's abstained from this you for so long that of course there will be a breaking point. it could be him seeing you with another man, it could be a random tuesday that he sees you and the sun happens to hit you just right and all of a sudden he finally, finally, knows what your lips taste like

he knows the sounds you make when someone kisses the breath out of your lungs. he knows what you look like with his hands on you finally, and now he is never, ever, going to give it up

elijah i think is an addict in that way. he can withhold so many things and he can keep a straight, level mind, but the second he lets himself indulge in one thing, he's diving head first into the deep end and doesn't care if he never comes back up for air

so once he finally indulges himself in you, he knows that he can't ever go back to his life before

and even though it was an explosion at first, all of that tension finally boiling over, it doesn't stay like that

when he finally gets you into bed, elijah is devastatingly gentle. he treats you like you're glass, and he knows he is more than capable of breaking you. though he isn't showing hesitance anymore, he treats you with care and it kind of breaks your heart to think that he was ever depriving himself of this

this, of course, being love. let's call it what it is.

elijah falls in love so poetically and despite all of his flaws, and his ability to turn into that brutal original vampire that they tell stories about, he loves you softly.

so the first time you have sex, it's hot and passionate and it's sticky, and he never stops touching you and he never stops kissing you because he never wants to forget what it feels like. and you think he's one of the most selfless lovers ever, but he feels so, so selfish because every bit of pleasure he's inflicting upon you is for him. it's so that one day, when he thinks he won't have this anymore, he remembers what it was like

he's nothing if not a fatalist

so even though you guys go the distance, he loves you every time like it'll be his last. he's lost too much to do anything else, and he thinks you deserve the world so he'll whatever it takes to hopefully measure up to that

[dantes-number-1-fanboy]

The physical pain the two of them cause me 😭

More under the cut!!

Based on/inspired by:

la belle dame sans merci by Frank Dicksee

Lineart, flats n more:

[power-and-glory]

[ivalitago]

Like genuinely X

[petaltexturedskies]

Virginia Woolf, A Passionate Apprentice: The Early Journals, 1897-1909

[ladykyriaa]

Genuinely love how they're referencing to her sensitivity of having the back of her feet touched lol

[paperbacksunday]

The journal is a product of my disease, perhaps an accentuation and exaggeration of it. I speak of relief when I write; perhaps, but it is also an engraving of pain, a tattooing of myself.

— Anaïs Nin, Henry and June: From the Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin

[derangedrhythms]

I saw a man I liked … a man who was likeable, not overbearing but strong, a human man who was sensitively aware of everything. He’s a man whom life makes drunk … He is like me. 

Anaïs Nin, on Henry Miller, from a diary entry quoted in ‘A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller 1932-1953′

[kentopedia]

sometimes i feel like i’d be such a disappointment to my younger self but what i do know is that she’d be proud i’m still convincing people to watch supernatural in the year of 2024

[mourn-and-watch]

there's something really really bittersweet about how shadowheart is so obviously surprised and touched by tav remembering that she likes night orchids. it's one of the rare little things she could keep away from shar, something she wasn't robbed of, the last remembrances of a person she was, she used to be, maybe she still is — and by act 1 when she doesn't question her loyalties at all, deep down she knows shar can take that away too and she will obey as a good sharran she is. and now there's a person that will carry these last echoes of her memories for her so she can remember too, so she can be sure it was — it is real; and maybe there was someone who was doing the same once, who was preserving shadowheart they knew, shadowheart who was brought to the mirror again and again so she can be broken and rebuilt anew, but still loved night orchids and animals and stood up for the ones she cared about and couldn't help but act a little dramatic — but she can't recall who they were, their face nor name. and maybe one day shar will take tav away too, make them just another blank space in her mind — and it's sad and it's scary, because now once again there's a thought, an idea, a realisation in her half-emptied mind, that the thing is, it's not true that shar is the only one who cares for her, maybe it's never been; the thing is, every time she's brought to that mirror so there can be no one left but lady of loss