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sailingintothenight · 6 years ago

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“Heart Shaker.” T.H imagine.

The cast's jokes towards Tom's crush on you makes his heart shakes constantly.

(Not my gif but thanks to the incredible people who make them)

Request made by slythxr: Heyyy, I was wondering if you could do a Tom x reader and she works on the CGI and behind the scenes stuff of movies and maybe she works on the set of a marvel movie(my dream) and she has to work on set one day and tom gets kinda dumb and messes up his lines and either theyre together and the cast teases Tom or he just has a crush on her and they kinda call him out but she oblivious? If you could do something like that it would be amazing, if not I get it, and thank you for even reading this!

@slythxr you were the first to make a request so thank you so much♥ I hope this looks like what you imagined. (Sorry for the possible grammatical errors) And I want to thank @cherryhollands as well for helping me overcome this fear of starting my blog. Thank you. Glad to be part of your squad.

From the first day of shooting of AIW, watching you from afar had become a habit of Tom. Standing next to the cast and wearing his suit already, he took every opportunity to steal glances from you, the young assistant of the CGI team, who was next to the supervisor and the technician on the set. There you were, with the opportunity to be part of that amazing cinematographic universe, with your hair tied following the movement of your body every time you drew with your hands invisible silhouettes in front of the green screen that surrounded the set, giving new ideas that in post-production would become the special effects that would make the audience exhale with surprise. There you were, with those eyes full of life every time you shared your ideas on how to make the film even bigger, even more visually amazing. So young, so passionate that Tom told himself that your imagination seemed to have no end.

"I'll give you some advice, kid..." Robert said calmly next to Tom, taking Tony Stark's attitude. "If you want to be an expert in stalking someone, be more discreet... or blink at least. I thought you were frozen or something."

Tom had already looked away from you, but he turned his body away from your direction when Chris and Dave chuckled.

"Don't mess with the child." Pratt smiled, ready to be part of the mocking. "He has a crush on (y/n). Oh! Hello, (y/n)!"

With his heart hitting his chest suddenly, Tom turned around to where you were, only to see that you were still far from him, taking note of the final details before recording.

"Hey!" Tom complained when he heard the laughter. "That’s not right, man."

"Why don't you just ask her out?" Dave asked, calmly under his Drax character. "You are young, she is young and beautiful."

Chris laughed in surprise when he understood that Dave insinuated that Tom wasn't attractive.

"She's young and beautiful and she's coming here." Robert murmured. "Hello, (y/n)!"

"I won’t fall for that again." Tom crossed his arms, slightly annoyed with them.

"Good morning, Robert." Your voice echoed in his ears, making him turn on your way to a safe place behind the cameras, watching as you greeted everyone until you looked at him. "Morning, Tom."

"Hi, (y/n)!" He said, a little more excited than he should have as you walked away. "Good Morning."

"Ha. Ha. Pathetic." Dave said, perfectly making Drax's voice before walking away to his mark for the scene.

Although for the group it was lovely to see that the youngest one had a crush on you, everyone decided to continue playing with Tom until it stopped being fun. Robert shrugged, silently telling him that if no one took Tom's crush seriously he couldn't do it either, and he walked away too, followed by Chris. Tom dropped his arms in defeat, surprised by the lack of support from the team he worked with.

"Thank you, guys." He mumbled, walking towards his own mark.

•••

"... millions of miles away from earth without backups."

"I'm back hug... Back up!" Tom squeezed his eyes when he realized his mistake, listening to the director's cut and the laughter of his co-stars, who had already witnessed Tom's earlier mistakes. "I’m sorry!"

"Let's take 5, everyone!" The director said from behind the cameras, assuming Tom was nervous about his first day.

Growling at his constant mistakes, Tom approached Ben and Robert who seemed to enjoy it.

"What's wrong, kid?" Ben clapped him on the back, as a way to comfort him. "Are the arachnid senses not working? Is it because of a certain girl over there?"

Tom's first reaction was to follow Ben's gaze, far to the next location where the director was talking to you and the supervisor, giving you all new ideas for the effects. As your gaze fell on Tom, just a second while the director pointed behind him, Tom realized that Ben also knew about the internal joke of the cast.

"You told Ben?!" Tom growled towards Robert under his breath, looking like a little boy whining.

Robert, still playing Stark, looked at his wristwatch, checked in which direction the sun rose and in which direction the air moved before speaking.

"I guess by this time everyone already knows."

"What?!"

Tom felt the warmth in his cheeks and the shame at his abrupt reaction that attracted the glances of the people around him, including yours. It had been a long time since Tom felt nervous next to a girl, and suddenly, you were there witnessing everything, and long before he could be great in his spider-man costume, Tom had managed to attract your attention as the timid and clumsy Peter Parker. But Robert, who was the first avenger to witness everything too, would take the matter into his own hands before Tom quit because of his constant mistakes.

"(Y/n)?" Robert yelled from the platform that took the image of a spaceship, with his hands around his lips so you could hear him on the other side of the set. "You like movies?!"

Although the question was strange, you nodded.

"How about you dating an actor who makes movie references in this movie?"

Tom felt that the world moved under his feet because of the direct way in which Robert spoke, especially since you would soon know that he was the one who made the references. However, you were so far away from the fake spacecraft that you understood only part of what Robert said, but long before you had the chance to make the gesture of I didn't hear you, the director called your name again, causing you to do that same gesture before moving away.

"Damn..." Robert and Tom sighed, their bodies falling in disappointment and relief respectively.

"Don't worry, kid. This is just the beginning. There are still many scenes to be recorded and more opportunities we can take."

"You know what?" Tom, who had almost been exposed, felt he had enough. That almost heart attack he almost had was proof that he could not take another one. "I will not stand this again."

As Ben saw him walk away, the decision in Tom's eyes caused an idea to appear in his mind.

"I guess that means he'll ask her out."

This time, Robert didn't need to play Tony Stark to make fun of his brilliant deduction.

"No shit, Sherlock."

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fanfic #hope you like it #thanks for reading #tom holland fic #tom holland x oc #tom holland x you

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years ago

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6 Things You Didn’t Know About Bad Breakups (And Why They’re Harder On Men)

http://fashion-trendin.com/6-things-you-didnt-know-about-bad-breakups-and-why-theyre-harder-on-men-2/

6 Things You Didn’t Know About Bad Breakups (And Why They’re Harder On Men)

There’s no two ways about it, breakups are rarely an enjoyable experience. Even if you’re breaking free from a particularly toxic partner, or when instigating the split is entirely your own move, from actually doing the deed (like a band aid is our best advice) to those first few weeks flying solo when all you’re trying to do is fight back the tears, quell the anger, or just get used to the fact that your person is no longer always there, breakups are pretty much always a rough ride.

The toughness of a breakup may have less to do with how long you actually spent in loved-up coupledom and more to do with how you left it.

Saying that, some are way worse than others. According to recent studies, the level of respect the ‘dumper’ displays for the dumpee’s sense of self during the split, can have a bigger effect on the emotional fallout than anything else.

The real difference between a hard and an easy breakup actually lies in whether your partner ‘endorses you’ on the way out

This is something which may go a long way in explaining that searing punch-in-the-face-delivered-by-an-amped-up-Dwayne-Johnson-heartache you felt after being dumped by somebody who, if you’re really honest, you hadn’t actually spent that much time with yet, compared to the fleeting hurt you experienced after splitting with your long-term college love where marriage was on the table.

“Research indicates that the real difference between a hard and an easy breakup actually lies in whether your partner ‘endorses you’ on the way out,” explains Marianne Vicelich, relationship expert and author of Destruction: Free Yourself From The Narcissist.

“For instance, our confidence is deeply affected when we receive a ‘character assassination’ of sorts by our former partner, or when our self-esteem is strongly aligned with how we feel our ex perceives us.”

iStock / Mixmike

The real vindication to be had here, however, may lie in the research that backs up the idea that breakups are indeed worse for men. Sure, if we follow the rom-com guide to life (bad advice for both ends of the gender spectrum, obviously), the story goes that women cry into a bucket of ice cream while men line up tequilas at the strip club, the former feeling the effects of a breakup far more intensely than the latter.

But if you’ve ever bumped into an ex three months post-breakup and wondered just how on Earth they’ve got their life together so quickly – Queer Eye-worthy makeover, new love interest waiting in the wings, generally healthy outlook on life etc – you’d be right for suspecting that quite possibly, women handle breakups better than men.

Why Are Some Breakups Worse For Men?

While the initial pain of a breakup is likely just as acute for both parties, the way in which men generally tend to deal with emotional upsets can mean they eventually end up suffering the most. Why? Because men don’t talk as much.

iStock / Tzido

Respondents to the survey by mental health charity The Lions Barber Collective found that men are often utterly useless at actually going through official channels of any sort when in need of mental health help. When sh*t hits the fan, only 54% bother to see a medical expert or build up any dialogue with a psychologist.

According to Sheela Mackintosh-Stewart, a marriage consultant and family lawyer: “Men and women approach and process relationships in very different ways, and this is the same when it comes to breakups. In general, women tend to be more open about their feelings with their support network of friends and family and will talk about their breakup more freely.

“In contrast, men tend to suppress their emotions and often feel embarrassed to show their true feelings to anyone, particularly other men.

“They usually carry on with a bravado, insisting that they are not overly affected by the split and as a result, they often experience a greater inner turmoil following the end of a relationship.

iStock / skynesher

“In short, many men try to move on quickly convincing themselves that they are fine, while not dealing with their true emotions.”

The Worst Breakups Are The Most Personal

We don’t mean personal as in you managed to do it face-to-face, rather than leaving a Post-It note. Rather, it’s largely agreed on by experts that the most damaging breakups come as a result of feeling that you’ve been rejected due to who you essentially are as a person.

When a sense of personal rejection is involved, it takes much longer to pick yourself up

“In my view, breakups are indeed worse when people feel that they have been rejected for who they are and due to their personal flaws, rather than accepting that a breakup happened as two people were just not right for each other – for example due to differences in their values, life goals or compatibility,” explains Mackintosh-Stewart.

iStock / fizkes

“When a sense of personal rejection is involved, it takes much longer to pick yourself up as your own self-worth and confidence has been badly dented.

“Such rejection can cause destructive thought patterns, triggering feelings of self-doubt and lower self-esteem as people ask themselves ‘Am I good enough?’ and ‘What’s wrong with me?’

“This can not only knock people’s confidence in themselves, but also make them wary of forming future relationships for fear of being rejected again.”

Cheating May Cause The Most Long-term Damage

Perhaps as expected, when affairs, infidelity or a betrayal of trust is at the root of your breakup, this can result in the deepest emotional scar tissue.

“Infidelity often makes splits very bitter as deep feelings of hurt and betrayal tend to lead to emotions of wanting to punish your former partner in the form of obstructing behavior,” confirms Mackintosh-Stewart.

iStock / PeopleImages

“These actions benefit no one however, and can be extremely damaging where children or shared finances are concerned. The emotional baggage and trauma of infidelity commonly results in difficulties surrounding trust issues in subsequent relationships too.”

Intense Relationships Always Leave A Mark

Given that intense relationships are often packed full of passion, fireworks and tangled emotions, it’s perhaps only logical that these rank pretty high among the worst of breakups.

When the attachment to another person is incredibly strong it can often be coupled with a lot of insecurity and anxiety

According to Dr. Elena Touroni, Clinic Director of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic, this all down to the science behind what attracts us to a particularly intense relationship in the first place.

“When the attachment to another person is incredibly strong it can often be coupled with a lot of insecurity and anxiety when the relationship is ending.

“There is a complex psychological theory behind this called schema chemistry, which essentially refers to the vulnerabilities we have in early life that make us more prone to be attracted to particular partners,” explains Dr. Touroni.

iStock / Vasyl Dolmatov

“When we couple-up with these types of partners, although we can develop very intensely powerful relationships, they are often fraught with anxiety, and in their nature are very explosive, unstable and insecure.

“When these types of relationships come to an end, because the nature of the attachment is amplified by our own vulnerabilities from early life, we’ll often find the recovery process much harder.”

You’ll Need Time To Grieve

Thankfully your partner hasn’t actually died, they’re just leaving you, but according to psychologists there’s still a vital grieving process to be had in the wake of a bad breakup, especially if it occurs later in life, or with somebody you’d already mapped out a future with.

Suddenly the rug has been pulled out from under your feet, leaving an incredible sense of loss

“Splits can be made even worse if you have been married or committed to each other for a long period of time, building a life and future together. Experiencing a split much later in life meanwhile, can not only seem more unexpected, but also more devastating,” says Mackintosh-Stewart.

iStock / Vasyl Dolmatov

“You will start to question whether you really knew your partner because the person you planned to spend your years with is no longer there for you. Suddenly the rug has been pulled out from under your feet, leaving an incredible sense of loss and bewilderment behind as you become companion-less.”

But Women Have It Rough Too

While recent studies concur with Mackintosh-Stewart’s take on why breakups can be worse for men, that’s not to say that women have an easy ride of it.

“How bad a breakup is will often depend on what that relationship stands for in your life – so if your entire sense of self and identity is placed on that relationship, then the breakup will be very difficult to overcome,” explains Dr. Touroni.

It should always be done with a view to learn from the mistakes made

“Women may be more prone to doing this than men, because generally speaking, they are more likely to have the goal of finding a good partner, having a family and settling down.

“Even career-driven women often have the expectation they can be equally successful in their career and relationship. When this is the case, women may be more likely to be the most negatively affected by a split.”

So what’s the best way to deal with a bad breakup? “Breakups are never easy, whether you instigate it or are the one on the receiving end of your partner’s decision. In most cases it can be a traumatic and emotionally draining experience that can be difficult to bounce back from,” concludes Mackintosh-Stewart.

iStock / martin-dm

“While it’s only natural to reflect on why a relationship broke down, it should always be done with a view to learn from the mistakes made, and to help you ‘choose right’ as you approach a new relationship.”

Sound advice if we’ve ever heard it.

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susaanrogers · 7 years ago

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Women in business 2018: the march goes on

It’s 2018. You would think we’d have overcome gender inequality by now. Yet we are still fighting hard to make a more gender equal world for all of us, and although steps forward are being made there’s still a long road ahead. In fact, the World Economic Forum has recently reported that the gender gap is widening.

On International Women’s Day, March 8, we feel it’s important to shine a light on the reality of the challenges that female entrepreneurs are facing. To that end, we surveyed our community of entrepreneurs to find out more.

We also want to celebrate the progress that continues to be made, so we collected the success stories of some of the amazing female entrepreneurs that we have here in our network and community. Join us as we celebrate the successful women of today and #PressforProgress for a new generation of entrepreneurs!

We surveyed both male and female entrepreneurs and here’s what we found —

This year, in our second annual poll to our entrepreneur community, we found that men and women are approaching their business in many of the same ways. But despite this, the gender gap still exists for women when it comes to raising capital for their business. From our survey of over 3,000 entrepreneurs from around the world our data showed that men are almost twice as likely to raise at least $100K or more in funding than women.

Here are some of the insights from our survey that we found most powerful:

The funding gap remains

Men are almost TWICE as likely as women to raise at least $100k in funding: 28% of men raised $100k or more to start their own business, compared to 15% of women.

Although the overall numbers are up from last year’s survey, when the numbers were 12% and 6% respectively, the gap between men and women hasn’t improved.

Female-led companies tend to be smaller and run from the home

Men are TWICE as likely as women to have more than two employees (53% of men compared to 32% of women).

Women are more likely to run businesses out of their homes (68% versus 48%).

Motivations differ when it comes to reasons for starting a business

Women are more likely to cite “passion for or expertise in an area” (35% of women versus 29% of men) or “freedom / flexible schedule.”

Men are more likely to say that they’ve “always wanted to be an entrepreneur.”

There are also a lot of commonalities

Both men and women are starting their businesses across the same industries.

Men and women experience the same amount of guilt when it comes to time spent on their business versus time with their family.

Male and female entrepreneurs tend to cite the same fears.

The biggest inequality, however, is in the funding gap between male and female entrepreneurs. So why are women getting less funding than men?

One reason lies in the language used to describe male and female entrepreneurs behind closed doors at those all-important venture capital decision-making meetings. Female entrepreneurs have been found to be labelled with stereotypical qualities (“weak”, “worried”, “too cautious”) that are opposite to those considered important for an entrepreneur, while male entrepreneurs benefit from stereotypes that reinforce their entrepreneurial potential (“arrogant”, “aggressive”, “very driven”).

Men and women are also asked different questions, with female entrepreneurs getting questions around the potential for losses and male entrepreneurs tending to get questions around potential gains.

What effects could closing the funding gap have?

Whatever the reasons, it’s clear that this is an area where we need to #PressforProgress. Because closing this gap could have significant effects: The UK government has reported that boosting female entrepreneurship could deliver as much as £180 billion ($250 million) to the UK economy.

Studies in the US have also shown that women-led companies perform twice as well as those led by men and that female-founded companies create more than 60 percent more value for investors than those founded by men. Having more women entrepreneurs is also a vital part of tackling the pay gap and the funding gap that we are seeing between men and women.

Doing our part at 99designs

Our CEO, Patrick Llewellyn, celebrates our $200M Designer earnings milestone at the 99designs Melbourne HQ with our awesome team.

Here at 99designs, we are doing our best to create equal opportunities for women and men alike.

Throughout our ten-year history, 99designs has cultivated a global culture where women from around the world can develop their futures on an equal footing. The internal team has a female-to-male staff ratio of 54% female to 46% male and Pam Webber does a fabulous job as Chief Marketing and Operations Officer. We have mums at every level across the business and our European team in Berlin is entirely female-led. Across our 120+ team, 48% of our total management is female, but we realize that there is still a lot of work to be done to get us where we want to be.

And of course we are committed to giving a voice to female entrepreneurs and helping men and women alike build the businesses of the future where there are equal opportunities. That’s why it’s important to know that there is advice out there to support female entrepreneurs—and we’re here to spread the word!

Advice and inspiration from amazing female entrepreneurs —

Women are founding and creating amazing things; from communities for women in IoT and wearable tech to online insurance communities, branding and design firms and social enterprises to help refugee women find work. There’s so much diversity of expertise and they’re steering their enterprises with incredible business acumen. They have vision. In fact, we know a lot of them at 99designs! So we invited them to share their stories.

Read on for advice from just some of our remarkable female entrepreneur friends and clients as they share their stories and how they believe that women in business can make bigger leaps forward in 2018.

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Jennifer Fitzgerald, Policygenius

Jennifer Fitzgerald is the CEO and co-founder of Policygenius.

Jennifer Fitzgerald runs a business called Policygenius, which is an online marketplace that helps consumers shop for and buy insurance.

“As a woman in business, I am most proud of building a company from the ground up that now employs 130 talented and motivated people who could all be working elsewhere, but choose to work at Policygenius.”

“When I look back at my career so far, I laugh about the early days of my company, when it was just me and my cofounder, sitting at a kitchen table, trying to figure out how to build a company from just an idea.”

Real-time advice from fellow entrepreneurs is better than any business book you can read!

- @jenlfitzgerald, CEO and co-founder of @Policygenius

“My number one piece of advice for women entrepreneurs is to find someone, preferably multiple people, who’ve taken the path you’re on, and are about 6-12 months ahead of you. They’ll have the best and most relevant advice for the challenges you’re facing today. Real-time advice from fellow entrepreneurs is better than any business book you can read!”

Marcie Carson, MIXT Studio

Marcie Carson is the Founder and Creative Director of MIXT Studio.

Marcie Carson is the founding Creative Director for two companies. In 1995 she started a graphic design firm called IE Design + Communications that grew to be one of the leading agencies on the West Coast of the US, garnering hundreds of design awards for clients like BMW, Mattel, Getty, UCLA, and The Academy Awards. Marcie left the firm in 2012 to launch a line of stationery and gift goods called MIXT Studio. MIXT products can be found in over 300 stores across the US.

“I smile that I ended up here. I jokingly refer to myself as ‘the bag lady’. I started MIXT Studio as a line of greeting cards and gift wrap, but had an idea for a Reusable Wine Bag. In order to be reusable, the bag couldn’t be made of wood pulp paper. I discovered Tyvek (which is used on walls as a moisture barrier in construction) and began using it for the wine bags. People loved them! They were carried at Whole Foods, The Container Store and Crate & Barrel. Since the Tyvek is water-resistant, requests came in for beach totes and gym bags. Now MIXT is 90% bags and totes… but I still love the paper goods.”

You have to be prepared for criticism and disappointments, but forget your ego and face these challenges head on.

- Marcie Carson, founder and Creative Director of @MIXTStudio

“I have two pieces of advice for female entrepreneurs:

1. Have thick skin. If you’re a strong, successful woman, many people will label you as a ‘bitch’ or a ‘go-getter’, while a man is just ‘successful’. You have to be prepared for criticism and disappointments, but forget your ego and face these challenges head on. Make thoughtful decisions that will keep you on track. And that leads to my second piece of advice…

2. Have a vision of what you want your life to look like. I think women business leaders are at a distinct disadvantage for so many reasons, particularly if they want a family. Working motherhood is an ongoing debate, that’s changing a lot now due to technology, but when I had my children it was very difficult to be a working mom. I left my agency and started MIXT Studio so that I could have more time with my kids. I made radical changes in my career to make my vision a reality—and it’s working!”

Marija Butkovic, Women of Wearables

Marija Butkovic is the Founder and CEO of Women of Wearables. Photo credit: Kornelije Sajler.

Marija Butkovic runs a business called Women of Wearables, which is a global organisation that supports and connects women in wearable tech, fashion tech, IoT, health tech, VR and AR.

“Before I started my business, I was terrified of quitting my day job. I was a corporate lawyer and had a law degree, so it was very scary for me to change my career and start doing something completely different. But I decided to give it a go and today, four years after getting into the world of tech and marketing, I wouldn’t go back. I love what I do!”

“Fighting imposter syndrome in a male-dominated world of technology wasn’t easy. Odds are against you, but this was exactly what gave me courage. I knew I could always go back to being a lawyer, but I just wanted to have my own business and my own entrepreneurial freedom.”

A lot of entrepreneurs give up too soon. There is no overnight success. You have to work hard and be consistent in what you want to achieve.

- @MarijaButkovic, founder and CEO of @Women_Wearables

“My number one piece of advice if you want to make progress this year as an entrepreneur is to believe in yourself and stay focused. A lot of entrepreneurs give up too soon. There is no overnight success. You have to work hard and be consistent in what you want to achieve. For us at Women of Wearables creating great content in a form of a blog posts and interviews, as well as growing our partners network was the key to growth. Now we have local chapters in Europe, USA and Asia, in less than a year. I’m so proud of that achievement!”

Mauria Finley, Allume

Mauria Finley is the Founder and CEO of Allume.

Mauria Finley runs a business called Allume, which is an on-demand personal shopping service that matches women with experienced stylists who help them find clothing and accessories that fit their body, budget and style. Allume’s personal shoppers talk directly with customers and shop the entire internet to find the perfect items. Customers choose what to order, and prices are never marked up.

“When I look back on my career, I’m so struck by how lucky I’ve been. I grew up pretty poor, in a small town. I didn’t even realize that someone like me could study computer science or become a product manager or start their own company. I feel incredibly lucky that I landed at Stanford, got to work at amazing companies, and most importantly, have a job that gives me great joy.”

Don’t be afraid to be bold. The day to day of execution is a lot of work and detail, but it’s so important to paint a big vision of where you are going—for yourself, your team, and your investors.

- Mauria Finley, founder and CEO of @allumestyle

“First, I’d pick a big market. It’s super hard to build a meaningful company. You are going to do a lot of work so pick a big problem. Second, don’t be afraid to be bold. The day to day of execution is a lot of work and detail, but it’s so important to paint a big vision of where you are going—for yourself, your team, and your investors. I think growth is the #1 thing to focus on early in your career. The best way to grow is to tackle really hard projects, get feedback on how your work performed, and repeat the cycle on the next hard project. Thus, I think the best way to empower the next generation of female workers is to give them stretch projects.”

Sneh Jani, Bread and Roses

Bread & Roses is a social enterprise addressing the social and financial isolation faced by refugee women in London as a consequence of unemployment.

Sneh Jani is the Co-founder of social enterprise florist, Bread and Roses. Photo credit: Lily Bertrand-Webb.

“Liv and I met on a fellowship in social innovation called Year Here. One of the phrases they have coined is ‘entreprelearning’, which means basically learning as you go. This is what we did. We arranged lots of meetings with organisations working with refugee women to better understand their work and the challenges they were facing, got a floristry tutorial from a friend and then recruited an amazing lead florist and have built a network of trusted advisors to support us along the way!”

My #1 piece of advice to help women entrepreneurs to make progress in 2018? Back yourself.

- @SnehJani, Co-founder of @breadandroses_

“Right at the beginning when Liv and I started Bread & Roses, we were running around like headless chickens the whole time, ‘flogging our flowers’ as we affectionately refer to it as. There was one particularly cold and miserable evening in the first few months and we were delivering flowers to a supper club in Clapton. It was absolutely chucking it down, we were soaked and just about managing to shelter the arrangements as we pegged it from the bus stop to the restaurant. It always makes me smile when I think about it—that’s really how we are still doing Bread & Roses, sheer determination and stubbornness!”

“My #1 piece of advice to help women entrepreneurs to make progress in 2018? Back yourself.”

Meryl Draper, Quirk Creative

Meryl Draper is the CEO of Quirk Creative.

Meryl Draper runs Quirk Creative, which is a creative advertising agency specialized in video-based campaigns for social, digital and TV.

I read recently that owning your business is the ultimate freedom. I couldn’t agree more.

- @MerylDraper, CEO of Quirk Creative

“As a woman in business, I’m most proud so far of being my own boss. I read recently that owning your business is the ultimate freedom. I couldn’t agree more.”

“My number one piece of advice if you want to make progress this year as an entrepreneur is … make it official. If you’re mulling an idea in your head, just get your company officially registered (there are cheap and fast options, like LegalZoom). Making your company official will help you to start taking your dream seriously and move you towards doing it full time.”

Sallee Poinsette-Nash, multi-passionate entrepreneur

Sallee Poinsette-Nash is a multi-passionate entrepreneur.

Sallee Poinsette-Nash is a multi-passionate entrepreneur who works as a brand builder, designer and speaker. She co-hosts a weekly YouTube show called Awake Ones which aims to raise the consciousness of our planet and is in the process of building an Awake Ones Academy. Alongside all of this, she founded Tall Guides Magazine, the world’s fastest growing magazine for tall women, with community at its heart.

“As a woman in business, I’m most proud of being able to create the ripple effect. By sharing my journey, my highs and my lows, I’ve been able to create a supportive and encouraging space for women all around the world to do the same. I just created the platform, the rest is down to the power of community and that is something that never ceases to amaze me.”

DO SOMETHING. Stop talking about it, thinking about it, waiting for that perfect opportunity…

- Sallee Poinsette-Nash, @SalleeSpeaks, entrepreneur & founder of @TallGuides

“My number one piece of advice if you want make progress this year as an entrepreneur is DO SOMETHING. Stop talking about it, thinking about it, waiting for that perfect opportunity… By taking one tiny step, you’ll be closer to whatever it is you’re aiming for than you’ve ever been before. What’s the worst that can happen?!”

Emily Casey, FEMNA

Emily Casey, Co-founder of FEMNA.

Emily Casey is the co-founder of FEMNA. They create natural products for women to help them get through menstruation, PMS, fertility issues, menopause and everything in between.

“When I think about my career so far, I smile at all the absolutely crazy and totally disconnected jobs I’ve done throughout my life—from being a DJ, to running a property development company, to being a French tutor, to running marketing campaigns in Tehran, to being a yoga teacher.”

…see each fear you have as an opportunity to get through it, and you’ll only get stronger and stronger.

- Emily Casey, co-founder of FEMNA

“My only advice, if you’d like to make progress in any area of your life, is to embrace the fears that you have, get comfortable with them, and push through them—face each fear head on, see each fear you have as an opportunity to get through it, and you’ll only get stronger and stronger.”

Kelly Exeter, Swish Design

Kelly Exeter is an author and the founder of Swish Design.

Kelly Exeter is the author of four books, co-host of two podcasts and runs a boutique web and graphic design business called Swish Design.

“Going into business, my greatest fear was that I wouldn’t be able to generate as much income from my business as I did from the job I was leaving. How did I fight this fear? By reassuring myself that I had good safety nets in place.”

“When I think back about my career so far, I laugh about how I once thought that running a business would be 5-7 years of hard slog and after that point I’d have a business that just ran smoothly and never had any problems. I now know that’s not how business works. As the world and markets evolve, so too does your business have to evolve. And there will always be new problems to solve.”

The key to being able to go fast is making time to go slow.

- @kellyexeter, founder of Swish Design

“My number one piece of advice for entrepreneurs is to remember this one thing: the key to being able to go fast is making time to go slow. Going hell for leather from sun up to sun down every day is not ‘hustle’, it’s a great formula for burnout. And when you’re burnt out, you’re no good to your business. Carving out points in every day where you can slow down will help you run your business in a more sustainable fashion.”

Onwards and upwards —

We’d like to thank all the entrepreneurs who took the survey and contributed to our understanding of this important topic, as well as continue to be part of a community we’re so proud to be able to service. We’d also like to thank all our inspiring female entrepreneurs for sharing their stories and expertise.

We hope 2018 and beyond brings progress for entrepreneurs all over the world and especially for women. We’re here to provide the resources, tools and advice that you need as an entrepreneur. So now it’s up to you. Go out into the world, start that business and make that dream of yours a reality.

Feeling inspired? Spread the word and maybe embolden a budding entrepreneur among your female friends to take the leap and get building.

The post Women in business 2018: the march goes on appeared first on 99designs.

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The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life: the new sleep science

Leading neuroscientist Matthew Walker on why sleep deprivation is increasing our risk of cancer, heart attack and Alzheimers and what you can do about it

Matthew Walker has learned to dread the question What do you do? At parties, it signals the end of his evening; thereafter, his new acquaintance will inevitably cling to him like ivy. On an aeroplane, it usually means that while everyone else watches movies or reads a thriller, he will find himself running an hours-long salon for the benefit of passengers and crew alike. Ive begun to lie, he says. Seriously. I just tell people Im a dolphin trainer. Its better for everyone.

Walker is a sleep scientist. To be specific, he is the director of the Center for Human Sleep Science at the University of California, Berkeley, a research institute whose goal possibly unachievable is to understand everything about sleeps impact on us, from birth to death, in sickness and health. No wonder, then, that people long for his counsel. As the line between work and leisure grows ever more blurred, rare is the person who doesnt worry about their sleep. But even as we contemplate the shadows beneath our eyes, most of us dont know the half of it and perhaps this is the real reason he has stopped telling strangers how he makes his living. When Walker talks about sleep he cant, in all conscience, limit himself to whispering comforting nothings about camomile tea and warm baths. Its his conviction that we are in the midst of a catastrophic sleep-loss epidemic, the consequences of which are far graver than any of us could imagine. This situation, he believes, is only likely to change if government gets involved.

Walker has spent the last four and a half years writing Why We Sleep, a complex but urgent book that examines the effects of this epidemic close up, the idea being that once people know of the powerful links between sleep loss and, among other things, Alzheimers disease, cancer, diabetes, obesity and poor mental health, they will try harder to get the recommended eight hours a night (sleep deprivation, amazing as this may sound to Donald Trump types, constitutes anything less than seven hours). But, in the end, the individual can achieve only so much. Walker wants major institutions and law-makers to take up his ideas, too. No aspect of our biology is left unscathed by sleep deprivation, he says. It sinks down into every possible nook and cranny. And yet no one is doing anything about it. Things have to change: in the workplace and our communities, our homes and families. But when did you ever see an NHS poster urging sleep on people? When did a doctor prescribe, not sleeping pills, but sleep itself? It needs to be prioritised, even incentivised. Sleep loss costs the UK economy over 30bn a year in lost revenue, or 2% of GDP. I could double the NHS budget if only they would institute policies to mandate or powerfully encourage sleep.

Why, exactly, are we so sleep-deprived? What has happened over the course of the last 75 years? In 1942, less than 8% of the population was trying to survive on six hours or less sleep a night; in 2017, almost one in two people is. The reasons are seemingly obvious. First, we electrified the night, Walker says. Light is a profound degrader of our sleep. Second, there is the issue of work: not only the porous borders between when you start and finish, but longer commuter times, too. No one wants to give up time with their family or entertainment, so they give up sleep instead. And anxiety plays a part. Were a lonelier, more depressed society. Alcohol and caffeine are more widely available. All these are the enemies of sleep.

But Walker believes, too, that in the developed world sleep is strongly associated with weakness, even shame. We have stigmatised sleep with the label of laziness. We want to seem busy, and one way we express that is by proclaiming how little sleep were getting. Its a badge of honour. When I give lectures, people will wait behind until there is no one around and then tell me quietly: I seem to be one of those people who need eight or nine hours sleep. Its embarrassing to say it in public. They would rather wait 45 minutes for the confessional. Theyre convinced that theyre abnormal, and why wouldnt they be? We chastise people for sleeping what are, after all, only sufficient amounts. We think of them as slothful. No one would look at an infant baby asleep, and say What a lazy baby! We know sleeping is non-negotiable for a baby. But that notion is quickly abandoned [as we grow up]. Humans are the only species that deliberately deprive themselves of sleep for no apparent reason. In case youre wondering, the number of people who can survive on five hours of sleep or less without any impairment, expressed as a percent of the population and rounded to a whole number, is zero.

The world of sleep science is still relatively small. But it is growing exponentially, thanks both to demand (the multifarious and growing pressures caused by the epidemic) and to new technology (such as electrical and magnetic brain stimulators), which enables researchers to have what Walker describes as VIP access to the sleeping brain. Walker, who is 44 and was born in Liverpool, has been in the field for more than 20 years, having published his first research paper at the age of just 21. I would love to tell you that I was fascinated by conscious states from childhood, he says. But in truth, it was accidental. He started out studying for a medical degree in Nottingham. But having discovered that doctoring wasnt for him he was more enthralled by questions than by answers he switched to neuroscience, and after graduation, began a PhD in neurophysiology supported by the Medical Research Council. It was while working on this that he stumbled into the realm of sleep.

Matthew Walker photographed in his sleep lab. Photograph: Saroyan Humphrey for the Observer

I was looking at the brainwave patterns of people with different forms of dementia, but I was failing miserably at finding any difference between them, he recalls now. One night, however, he read a scientific paper that changed everything. It described which parts of the brain were being attacked by these different types of dementia: Some were attacking parts of the brain that had to do with controlled sleep, while other types left those sleep centres unaffected. I realised my mistake. I had been measuring the brainwave activity of my patients while they were awake, when I should have been doing so while they were asleep. Over the next six months, Walker taught himself how to set up a sleep laboratory and, sure enough, the recordings he made in it subsequently spoke loudly of a clear difference between patients. Sleep, it seemed, could be a new early diagnostic litmus test for different subtypes of dementia.

After this, sleep became his obsession. Only then did I ask: what is this thing called sleep, and what does it do? I was always curious, annoyingly so, but when I started to read about sleep, I would look up and hours would have gone by. No one could answer the simple question: why do we sleep? That seemed to me to be the greatest scientific mystery. I was going to attack it, and I was going to do that in two years. But I was naive. I didnt realise that some of the greatest scientific minds had been trying to do the same thing for their entire careers. That was two decades ago, and Im still cracking away. After gaining his doctorate, he moved to the US. Formerly a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, he is now professor of neuroscience and psychology at the University of California.

Does his obsession extend to the bedroom? Does he take his own advice when it comes to sleep? Yes. I give myself a non-negotiable eight-hour sleep opportunity every night, and I keep very regular hours: if there is one thing I tell people, its to go to bed and to wake up at the same time every day, no matter what. I take my sleep incredibly seriously because I have seen the evidence. Once you know that after just one night of only four or five hours sleep, your natural killer cells the ones that attack the cancer cells that appear in your body every day drop by 70%, or that a lack of sleep is linked to cancer of the bowel, prostate and breast, or even just that the World Health Organisation has classed any form of night-time shift work as a probable carcinogen, how could you do anything else?

There is, however, a sting in the tale. Should his eyelids fail to close, Walker admits that he can be a touch Woody Allen-neurotic. When, for instance, he came to London over the summer, he found himself jet-lagged and wide awake in his hotel room at two oclock in the morning. His problem then, as always in these situations, was that he knew too much. His brain began to race. I thought: my orexin isnt being turned off, the sensory gate of my thalamus is wedged open, my dorsolateral prefrontal cortex wont shut down, and my melatonin surge wont happen for another seven hours. What did he do? In the end, it seems, even world experts in sleep act just like the rest of us when struck by the curse of insomnia. He turned on a light and read for a while.

Will Why We Sleep have the impact its author hopes? Im not sure: the science bits, it must be said, require some concentration. But what I can tell you is that it had a powerful effect on me. After reading it, I was absolutely determined to go to bed earlier a regime to which I am sticking determinedly. In a way, I was prepared for this. I first encountered Walker some months ago, when he spoke at an event at Somerset House in London, and he struck me then as both passionate and convincing (our later interview takes place via Skype from the basement of his sleep centre, a spot which, with its bedrooms off a long corridor, apparently resembles the ward of a private hospital). But in another way, it was unexpected. I am mostly immune to health advice. Inside my head, there is always a voice that says just enjoy life while it lasts.

The evidence Walker presents, however, is enough to send anyone early to bed. Its no kind of choice at all. Without sleep, there is low energy and disease. With sleep, there is vitality and health. More than 20 large scale epidemiological studies all report the same clear relationship: the shorter your sleep, the shorter your life. To take just one example, adults aged 45 years or older who sleep less than six hours a night are 200% more likely to have a heart attack or stroke in their lifetime, as compared with those sleeping seven or eight hours a night (part of the reason for this has to do with blood pressure: even just one night of modest sleep reduction will speed the rate of a persons heart, hour upon hour, and significantly increase their blood pressure).

A lack of sleep also appears to hijack the bodys effective control of blood sugar, the cells of the sleep-deprived appearing, in experiments, to become less responsive to insulin, and thus to cause a prediabetic state of hyperglycaemia. When your sleep becomes short, moreover, you are susceptible to weight gain. Among the reasons for this are the fact that inadequate sleep decreases levels of the satiety-signalling hormone, leptin, and increases levels of the hunger-signalling hormone, ghrelin. Im not going to say that the obesity crisis is caused by the sleep-loss epidemic alone, says Walker. Its not. However, processed food and sedentary lifestyles do not adequately explain its rise. Something is missing. Its now clear that sleep is that third ingredient. Tiredness, of course, also affects motivation.

Sleep has a powerful effect on the immune system, which is why, when we have flu, our first instinct is to go to bed: our body is trying to sleep itself well. Reduce sleep even for a single night, and your resilience is drastically reduced. If you are tired, you are more likely to catch a cold. The well-rested also respond better to the flu vaccine. As Walker has already said, more gravely, studies show that short sleep can affect our cancer-fighting immune cells. A number of epidemiological studies have reported that night-time shift work and the disruption to circadian sleep and rhythms that it causes increase the odds of developing cancers including breast, prostate, endometrium and colon.

Getting too little sleep across the adult lifespan will significantly raise your risk of developing Alzheimers disease. The reasons for this are difficult to summarise, but in essence it has to do with the amyloid deposits (a toxin protein) that accumulate in the brains of those suffering from the disease, killing the surrounding cells. During deep sleep, such deposits are effectively cleaned from the brain. What occurs in an Alzheimers patient is a kind of vicious circle. Without sufficient sleep, these plaques build up, especially in the brains deep-sleep-generating regions, attacking and degrading them. The loss of deep sleep caused by this assault therefore lessens our ability to remove them from the brain at night. More amyloid, less deep sleep; less deep sleep, more amyloid, and so on. (In his book, Walker notes unscientifically that he has always found it curious that Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan, both of whom were vocal about how little sleep they needed, both went on to develop the disease; it is, moreover, a myth that older adults need less sleep.) Away from dementia, sleep aids our ability to make new memories, and restores our capacity for learning.

And then there is sleeps effect on mental health. When your mother told you that everything would look better in the morning, she was wise. Walkers book includes a long section on dreams (which, says Walker, contrary to Dr Freud, cannot be analysed). Here he details the various ways in which the dream state connects to creativity. He also suggests that dreaming is a soothing balm. If we sleep to remember (see above), then we also sleep to forget. Deep sleep the part when we begin to dream is a therapeutic state during which we cast off the emotional charge of our experiences, making them easier to bear. Sleep, or a lack of it, also affects our mood more generally. Brain scans carried out by Walker revealed a 60% amplification in the reactivity of the amygdala a key spot for triggering anger and rage in those who were sleep-deprived. In children, sleeplessness has been linked to aggression and bullying; in adolescents, to suicidal thoughts. Insufficient sleep is also associated with relapse in addiction disorders. A prevailing view in psychiatry is that mental disorders cause sleep disruption. But Walker believes it is, in fact, a two-way street. Regulated sleep can improve the health of, for instance, those with bipolar disorder.

Ive mentioned deep sleep in this (too brief) summary several times. What is it, exactly? We sleep in 90-minute cycles, and its only towards the end of each one of these that we go into deep sleep. Each cycle comprises two kinds of sleep. First, there is NREM sleep (non-rapid eye movement sleep); this is then followed by REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. When Walker talks about these cycles, which still have their mysteries, his voice changes. He sounds bewitched, almost dazed.

During NREM sleep, your brain goes into this incredible synchronised pattern of rhythmic chanting, he says. Theres a remarkable unity across the surface of the brain, like a deep, slow mantra. Researchers were once fooled that this state was similar to a coma. But nothing could be further from the truth. Vast amounts of memory processing is going on. To produce these brainwaves, hundreds of thousands of cells all sing together, and then go silent, and on and on. Meanwhile, your body settles into this lovely low state of energy, the best blood-pressure medicine you could ever hope for. REM sleep, on the other hand, is sometimes known as paradoxical sleep, because the brain patterns are identical to when youre awake. Its an incredibly active brain state. Your heart and nervous system go through spurts of activity: were still not exactly sure why.

Does the 90-minute cycle mean that so-called power naps are worthless? They can take the edge off basic sleepiness. But you need 90 minutes to get to deep sleep, and one cycle isnt enough to do all the work. You need four or five cycles to get all the benefit. Is it possible to have too much sleep? This is unclear. There is no good evidence at the moment. But I do think 14 hours is too much. Too much water can kill you, and too much food, and I think ultimately the same will prove to be true for sleep. How is it possible to tell if a person is sleep-deprived? Walker thinks we should trust our instincts. Those who would sleep on if their alarm clock was turned off are simply not getting enough. Ditto those who need caffeine in the afternoon to stay awake. I see it all the time, he says. I get on a flight at 10am when people should be at peak alert, and I look around, and half of the plane has immediately fallen asleep.

So what can the individual do? First, they should avoid pulling all-nighters, at their desks or on the dancefloor. After being awake for 19 hours, youre as cognitively impaired as someone who is drunk. Second, they should start thinking about sleep as a kind of work, like going to the gym (with the key difference that it is both free and, if youre me, enjoyable). People use alarms to wake up, Walker says. So why dont we have a bedtime alarm to tell us weve got half an hour, that we should start cycling down? We should start thinking of midnight more in terms of its original meaning: as the middle of the night. Schools should consider later starts for students; such delays correlate with improved IQs. Companies should think about rewarding sleep. Productivity will rise, and motivation, creativity and even levels of honesty will be improved. Sleep can be measured using tracking devices, and some far-sighted companies in the US already give employees time off if they clock enough of it. Sleeping pills, by the way, are to be avoided. Among other things, they can have a deleterious effect on memory.

Those who are focused on so-called clean sleep are determined to outlaw mobiles and computers from the bedroom and quite right, too, given the effect of LED-emitting devices on melatonin, the sleep-inducing hormone. Ultimately, though, Walker believes that technology will be sleeps saviour. There is going to be a revolution in the quantified self in industrial nations, he says. We will know everything about our bodies from one day to the next in high fidelity. That will be a seismic shift, and we will then start to develop methods by which we can amplify different components of human sleep, and do that from the bedside. Sleep will come to be seen as a preventive medicine.

What questions does Walker still most want to answer? For a while, he is quiet. Its so difficult, he says, with a sigh. There are so many. I would still like to know where we go, psychologically and physiologically, when we dream. Dreaming is the second state of human consciousness, and we have only scratched the surface so far. But I would also like to find out when sleep emerged. I like to posit a ridiculous theory, which is: perhaps sleep did not evolve. Perhaps it was the thing from which wakefulness emerged. He laughs. If I could have some kind of medical Tardis and go back in time to look at that, well, I would sleep better at night.

Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreamsby Matthew Walker is published by Allen Lane (20). To order a copy for 17 go toguardianbookshop.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99

Sleep in numbers

Two-thirds of adults in developed nations fail to obtain the nightly eight hours of sleep recommended by the World Health Organisation.

An adult sleeping only 6.75 hours a night would be predicted to live only to their early 60s without medical intervention.

A 2013 study reported that men who slept too little had a sperm count 29% lower than those who regularly get a full and restful nights sleep.

If you drive a car when you have had less than five hours sleep, you are 4.3 times more likely to be involved in a crash. If you drive having had four hours, you are 11.5 times more likely to be involved in an accident.

A hot bath aids sleep not because it makes you warm, but because your dilated blood vessels radiate inner heat, and your core body temperature drops. To successfully initiate sleep, your core temperature needs to drop about 1C.

The time taken to reach physical exhaustion by athletes who obtain anything less than eight hours of sleep, and especially less than six hours, drops by 10-30%.

There are now more than 100 diagnosed sleep disorders, of which insomnia is the mostcommon.

Morning types, who prefer to awake at or around dawn, make up about 40% of the population. Evening types, who prefer to go to bed late and wake up late, account for about 30%. The remaining 30% lie somewhere in between.