#dexs dumpster

[sweet-little-dude]

Well I think I'm alright-

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!

✫ Kai/Dexter ✫ he/him ✫ writing + art + rambling nonsense ✫ queer + poc ✫ my main blog for things i'm not as hyperfixated on anymore and extremely fucking horny thoughts [you have been warned]

✫ Obsession with pop culture, music, romance and the arts

✫ offtaskotaku -> d1sliking-d3xter (url change)

✫ Bandom blogs go follow @mrwentzrossway-xo (my emo sideblog) !!!!!! look under cut for my other sideblogs

Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry-

Mama- we're all gonna die!

yeses and nos ;

▲ – interaction, nicknames [moots only]

▼ – -13/25+ blogs [current moots are fine]

tags ;

#buddy boo ; ___ #fav #dex elys chu band au #dexs dumpster

other blogs/socials ;

blogs - @makinmefeelspecial [ x reader tokyorev side blog ], @takuscoloringblog [ manga colouring blog ]

socials - @/nanana.boy on instagram, @/offtaskotaku OR @/fromday_one on twitter, @/xoxo.nananaboy on spacehey, @/fromdayone_xo on last.fm, @/fromday_one on spotify

last updated: 31/10/23

[burned-lariat]

I need to understand something here.

So Dex's father cheated on Dex's mother however many times, and everyone knew about it, and while the elder brothers were pro-Dad, Dex was a complete Mama's boy and stood by her...except he thinks she wasn't strong enough to leave and make her own way and *checks notes* resents her for not leaving the marriage and wasn't even that close to her anyways???

And he hates cheaters because of his dad, right? So why in the FUCK is he entertaining Joss considering that she's a cheater herself? Yk not to mention how HE ACTIVELY INTERVENED IN AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP JUST LIKE HIS TRASH DADDY???

WHAT IS THIS SHIT??? HOW COULD YOU LET ME DO A BETTER JOB???

[archaneops]

Hey so I know we're all gushing over how collectively hot the Hex but I just wanted to take a second to say how absurdly strong we are with some of the mods and arcanes we get in 1999. Like, having straight up magnetic mods feels really good in Eximus heavy maps, Acuity has some really goofy interactions, and these arcanes like Crux and Ennervate make some weapons straight up broken. Oh? You hate using Arcane Avenger with combat discipline like I do? How about you try arcane Ennervate for a FLAT crit buff on hit for your KUVA NUKOR, and watch that thing clear rooms like nothing!

My personal obsession has been the Sybaris Incarnon because I loved the Sybaris when I first got the Dex years ago, and with Primary Crux, it's even more stupid! Ammo efficiency in the primary mode is already really nice for building charge, but the status bump??? With Elemental Dominance??? It practically primes itself and the blast procs in Incarnon mode just dumpsters about anything in front of it!

Okay I had to get that out of my system I need to make dinner hehehe

[v-the-nomad]

Persia my dear,

Mierda, the stakes just got sky-high! This Evelyn Parker? She's a walking, talking honey trap - all high-class chrome and killer curves, with a smile that could make a monk break his vows and a cleavage deeper than the Grand Canyon. The kind of woman who could sweet-talk a corpo into giving up their firstborn. Good thing Jackie wasn't here - he'd have forgotten his own name, let alone Misty's.

Now, get this - we're not just lifting some random tech. We're talking about "the relic." Yeah, that same gizmo Ziggy Q's been yapping about on "Night After Night." It's some poor gonk's engram, apparently. And wait for it: we're swiping it from none other than Yorinobu fucking Arasaka. You heard me right. The prodigal son himself, heir to the Arasaka empire.

I mean, Jesus H. Christ on a chromed-out unicycle, Persia. This isn't just playing with fire; it's diving headfirst into a fusion reactor. Evelyn's talking about NetWatch and Dex did hint at the Voodoo Boys being involved as well - all the heaviest hitters in Night City are circling this thing like a corpo waiting for his payday.

She's got some BD of Yorinobu's pad, says we can scope out the security. But something smells fishier than a Pacifica dumpster in August. Why would Dex greenlight this suicide run? The payout must be astronomical, but still… stealing from the Arasakas? That's how you end up in a landfill, not as a legend.

I can't shake this feeling that we're pawns in some game way above our pay grade. But fuck, Persia, if we pull this off… we'd be set for life. No more scraping by, no more bottom-feeding gigs. We'd be the talk of Night City. Blaze of glory, baby.

What would you do, hermana? Take the shot and risk it all, or walk away and wonder 'what if' for the rest of your days?

Shit, I need another drink. This city's gonna be the death of me, I swear.

V

[ebegastbabysittingservices]

Dex why dont you try to search for your body by yourself for a change

"Don't you think I've tried?! Unfortunately people tend to freak out when they see a walking, talking doll, so I can't just roam aimelessly around town!"

"Plus, I've looked in a bunch of places already! That Lila woman's house, that pumpkin kid's house, the cinema, the dumpster-..."

"It's nowhere!! I'm trying my best over here!"

[mrman247]

PEOPLE I WANNA KNOW BETTER

Sure, why not? :3 Tagged by @sigilofthevoid (Reposting to shorten post)

LAST SONG?

Without A Sound by Hoity-Toity (I’ve had like two obsessions recently: Dumpster Pussy and Hoity-Toity)

FAVORITE COLOR?

Pink. Like bubblegum pink, it’s the color of my hair.

CURRENTLY WATCHING?

I’m rewatching The Good Place and my spouse and I have a “Currently Watching” list a mile long.

LAST MOVIE?

Also Across the Spider-Verse! I’m a huge Spider-Man fan and not being able to watch it until now had me in pieces. I even read the Spider-Verse and Spider-Punk comics before watching it.

SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY?

Spicy. I love spicy sauce and chips and such. My family gifts me spicy foods just to see if I’ll actually eat it.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS?

Married! I got married pretty young but I love my Spouse more than anything. Our anniversary is on Halloween.

CURRENT OBSESSIONS?

Spider-Man. Baldur’s Gate 3. And Puzzles.

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED?

Pokemon Type Chart because I just beat Pokemon Scarlet and am currently going for the complete Dex.

@criminalizegolf @idk-maity @brinnybee @zlexi

[cutekittenlady]

Tumblr Plays Pokemon White 2 - Part 6

~~~~ Three hours of running, screaming, ball throwing, and A LOT of crying later ~~~~

How am I STILL NOT DONE?!

I have been at this for HOURS!

ugh

UGH

Screw it. I've done enough for the Professor to at least think I'm trying.

Hopefully Hugh will buy that I was just "tearfully saying goodbye to mom" or something like that.

Nearly out of pokeballs too. I am going to take the longest nap on that boart right to Castelia. I am not even kidding.

Aww Roxie saw her dads shitty movie and thought it was 'good'. Sure thing Roxie. Sure.

Still its sweet she supports him. Keep working at it Pop Roxie. You'll get there someday!

Oh Hugh have you, uh, been waiting here this whole time? Sorry my, uh, business took... three hours... My mom uh wouldnt stop crying about her baby girl leaving and it was all touching and...

Aaaaand your not buying any of this?

Okay look man, I gotta level with you. The last three hours have been a hell of pokemon catching. It had to be done! I completely blanked on it before and this whole "fill the pokedex" thing is kinda my excuse to leave home. I really don't think my mom would accept "help my best friend exact his revenge on the remnants of a terrorist organization" as a proper reason for traveling. I jumped at the chance they gave me! It's not my fault it came with strings attached!

Hey.

I know how to cheer you up.

You want a Pidove? I caught a pidove. No tradsies. Just free gift pokemon. Yeah you want a pidove.

Sooo we cool?

Thats the spirit buddy!

Pop Roxie! Hoist the anchor, raise the sail, swab the poop deck! Cause we're leaving on a quest!

I knew I liked the cut of your jib Pop Roxie!

Alrighty Hugh lets get going! NOthings gonna stop us now!

BLEEEEEEEHHHHH

Sorry about your shoes POP Roxie. I swear I didn't know I got seasick.

Yeah might be kinda hard finding a handful of weirdos in funky hats in a city this big. Do you have a plan?

.... Thats not a plan Hugh. Look for now lets just... split up yeah? I'm tired. I'll go find us a hotel or a bench in the pokemon center to sleep on or something. Give me your Xtranceiver number, I'll call you when I find something. Call me if something happens yeah?

Yeah well chances are we're gonna be splitting up a lot more after this. I still gotta catch enough pokemon to make mom and the professor think this is just a nice PG adventure. Besides, after Cheren and Roxie I think I have a taste for this whole pokemon battling thing.

With that Hugh gives a passing comment about the weird looking ship on the dock next to us and take off. Welp I'm in the big city by myself for the very first time.

And I'm exhausted. Gotta see if I can find a place to rest. So I stride into the city.

And a random clown gives me a bicycle. And ask me to do a relay. At midnight.

I've been in this city a handful of minutes and already this palce is nuts. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to ride a bike again. Pretty sure that ten year ban for running over that lillipup is up.

Whatever. Questions for later.

Couldn't find a hotel anywhere. I'll send Hugh a message and sleep at the Pokemon Center tonight.

~~~ Hugh didn't come to the Pokemon Center tonight.

That not... concerning. I'm not concerned.

Wandered around the city doing some sight seeing. Not looking for hugh. Just sightseeing. Got the last casteliacone, visited a gallery, had a stranger come out from behind a dumpster and give me the tm for flash.

Interesting city.

Still since I can't seem to find Hugh guess I better go to the gym. Think I saw in a brochure that Castelia Cities gym is a bug type gym. If thats true Molly will probably wind up torching the place heh.

Welp guess I might as well head over. Before I leave the pokemon Center though I sell a few of the items I found around Virbank that I dont need, mostly X attack and stuff, and buy more great balls. My attempts at filling out the dex as much as I could before used up a lot of the balls I had.

I'm gonna need to fight some trainers for money soon or something. That acting stint I did was fun but did NOT pay anything. I've still got supplies, but I don't think I'm going to be doing a lot of filling out the dex until I can get more money for more balls and stuff. I mean I still have like 5 great balls, that ultra ball that neighbor in Aspertia gave, plus the heal ball and net ball I bought but thats about it.

Plus I'm down to, like $4.26. Thats not enough for lunch much less, like, 20 pokeballs.

Definitely hitting the gym. Roxie forked over quite a lot from beating her, so this Burgh guy I heard about will probably do the same. Bare minimum I'll be able to get some more Lemonades.

Aight Molly lets go get that money!

With my money?! I mean I havent beaten him yet, sure, but its basically an inevitability here! Where did he go?!

Then this purple haired girl walks up. Apparently she and Clyde know each other? Apparently she's looking for Burgh too. Evidently this Burgh guy is the flighty sort who wanders out of his gym, like, all the time.

Yeesh, Cheren might've been a newbie and Roxie mightve been rocking out too hard to hear me, but at least they were AT their gyms. I though gym leaders had to be at their gyms at all times. Yknow like a 9-5 type deal. Is it NOT a 9-5 type deal?

Wait.... do you guys not get paid?!

Oh sure NOW you notice me.

I... How did you.... how could you.... How did you KNOW about that?!

Yeah well tell that to the weirdos back in Virbank.

..... By giving me money?

Oh oh no you meant hunting down Team Plasma. Hnngh well... If the gym leaders not here anyway... and considering that might be where Hugh went (who I haven't seen since last night)... Sure why not.

Iris mutters something about thinking where they might've gone and then just takes off too fast for me to follow! Thankfully Burgh knows this town beter than me. He said she went around the corner towards the Pokemon Center. Guess thats as good a place to start as any.

Now might also be a good time to break out that bike that clown gave me last night. Not that I'm in a hurry or nothing.

Thankfully the saying about never forgetting how to ride a bike turns out to be true and I easily catch up to Iris. She tells me we're heading for Thumb Pier. She suspects theyre probably hanging around there.

Why she suspects that I dunno. In fact I'm not even certain who this girl is. Oh well, its the only lead I've found so peddling feet dont fail me now.

As it turns out Thumb Pier is 'suspicious' because its where you enter... the sewers. She wants us... to go into... the sewers.

I mean... I guess if a terrorist organization was gonna hide out in a big place like Castelia after a failed coup the sewers isn't the weirdest place to hide out but...

GAH Hugh! Don't sneak up on me like that! More importantly where the hell have you been?! And gods no I haven't found any members of team plasma yet. Though I think Iris here might have a lead...

Wait.

Is THAT where've you been all night?!

NO NO NO

Dodging questions is for strange old men who jump off cliffs and run shady movie lots. NOT from supposed BFFs hunting terrorists together!

ARE YOU IGNORING ME?!

That's what I'm trying to do! Look man you can't just disappear all night and then suddenly- Hugh! Hugh you get your edgy anime hair ass back here!

Sonnova

NOT NOW IRIS!

[satsuki-yumizuka]

i am myhouse.wad anon it ok u were fine comerade 👍

what r ur thoughts on gen 9 pokemon?

hmmm idk if u mean gen 9 pokemon as in the pokemon or if u mean the 9th generation of pokemon so ill answer both

i think gen 9 pokemon are... okay. theres a lot of designs i really like and think are fun and interesting, but i think this gen has way more "weird" pokemon than usual. pokemon that just kinda dont look like they really belong there, if that makes any sense? baxcalibur stands out to me as a pokemon that just looks kinda odd, especially with the role its supposed to fulfill in the dex (dragon type psuedolegendary). not that i dislike baxcalibur or anything! i dont know if theres any pokemon in gen 9 i really *hate*, but there are some that i definitely dont love.

i will also say that i think it sucks that all the future paradox pokemon have the exact same thing going on. like, i kinda get it, but it sucks that only a few of them are actually interesting when you look at the past paradox forms and theyre all cool and unique feeling from each other

as for the games themselves... okay so extreme comparison but remember cp2077? full confession i bought that game on release. i was swept up by the hype at least a little bit, but i bought it after all the reviews and shit came out, so its not like i didnt know what i was getting into. and with those expectations in check (and an at-the-time new computer) i played 2077 and really liked it! not a gamechanger by any means but it was a solid, fun video game.

the thing is that it feels super irresponsible to say that about 2077, because in a lot of ways, it is not a solid video game. even on my high end pc i was running into crazy bugs and consistent performance issues regardless of settings, and console players didn't even get to play the game they bought at launch. (as an aside i think its fucking crazy that that game managed to save its reputation because even now im not 100% convinced it deserves to go down as anything other than a dumpster fire)

anyways. that's kinda how i feel about gen 9. technically speaking these games have a lot of problems, the kind of problems that games being released under the flag of one of the most profitable franchise fucking Ever really shouldn't be having. even with that though, they're the most fun ive had with pokemon since gen 5. i love the gen 9 games for reminding me that pokemon can be as fun now as it was when i was 12! but i hate that despite being one of the biggest cash cows ever, pokemon games aren't given the resources to be amazing, just... good enough.

[echotheandroidneko]

I've been thinking a lot about game design in TTRPG's, speciifcally in everyone's favourite dumpster fire 5e, and I've come to the realization that I kinda fucking hate ability scores. Or at least, I hate how 5e does ability scores.

So everyone knows about the martial/caster debate. It's literally been going on since D&D was a thing. Linear Fighter, Quadratic Wizard etc. etc. etc. And sure, spellcasting is incredibly potent. No doubt about that. The fact that you get a class feature that is actuall 16-20 class features in a trenchcoat by the time you're done levelling to 20 while the martials are entirely reliant on their GM for even a modicum of that kind of power by getting magic items is fucking bullshit and everyone knows iot. Buuuut, the thing I see talked about much less in the space is how fucking shafted martials are due to their required ability scores.

Take the skill list in 5e. There are 18 mainline skills in the game. 4 of them use physical ability scores. Three of them are DEX based and one of those is can almost be an outright replacement for the one that uses STR (GM dependant). Add to the fact that martials have a much higher requirement for CON, an ability score that doesn't have any fucking skills attached to it, and you begin to see exactly how fucked martials truley are.

Because the thing is, when I sit down at the table, what I would like for my character to do is have impact. Not just in combat, but on the world as a whole. I'd like from a moment to moment snapshot to have a character that is meaningfully able to contribute in a way that isn't just being a background character granting someone else the help aciton. For spellcasters, they get to do this all of the time. With good spell choices and skills, they're impactful both in and out of combat. They're capable of dishing out comparable damage to a martial and/or controlling the fight to guarentee a strategic victory while also being able to have good chances at succeeding the checks neccessary to progress out of combat (social, information gathering, navigation, etc) but because martials have to invest in STR, DEX and CON in order to be good at the things their class is supposed to be good at, under a standard array/PB they're just much, much worse at everything that doesn't involve hitting things than a spellcaster is.

So, if you're after the fantasy of being a character that uses a sword and doesn't use magic, you're also having to accept the fact that you'll be second fiddle to whatever Bard/Wizard/Sorcerer/Warlock decides to show up if they know even the bare minimum of how to get the most out of their class. Anyway, tl;dr, Rogue is the only non-caster class thats viable for both in and out of combat and Blades in the Dark is a much more elegant solution to how skills work. Or bring back skill ranks, my beloved.

[cryptidofthekeys]

Friendo Chaaaaaaaase

Do you have a favourite piece of LOOOOOOORE for your OCs that you're itching to sharing with somebody?

<3 - Mitch

*STARING AT YOU INTENSELY*

Y E S- I mean, ahem, yes- yes I do- I am totally normal about my OCs and sonas and things- mhm,, anyways-

Uh it's hard for me to talk about one without hearing like a specific name involved (I have a LOT of OCs/Sonas Friendo Mitch gfjdkdfks)

But I can try to for this post- And ya know since Spooky Month has literally just latched onto me and wont let me go no matter where I try- I'll talk about CC, I WAS going to talk about Alan too but this post will already be too long but if ya want to really hear about Alan too u or someone can send an ask)

-------------------------------------------

(A keep reading bc this is going to be a long one, Friendo Mitch so prepare yourself!!! You and others betta prepare!!! Also edit: I realized you said Favorite piece of lore gjkfddkfjsd I apologize in advance for this clusterfuck of a post y'all are about to see)

--------------------------------------------------------------

ALSO ALSO TWs: Mentions of Kidnapping, Drugging, Murder/Animal Murder, and Cannibalism (the lads WILL be the lads)

CC of course for starters because he is well, hes not the OG (I think a lot of people if they pay attention to my content would think CC's the og spooky month oc/sona of mine but nope, the FIRST SM Character I made was a pathetic wet cat of a man named Frederick but he has no lore, thats the point- anyways)

-----------------------------------------------------------------

CC is the one I use for selfshipping purposes most of the time,, hes- okay well hes oblivious to the danger HE could be in/has been in, he's a dumb luck dude who has survived by that ALONE, I feel kinda bad bc he has no like,, hes not related to anything canon in the spookyverse,, like hes got no part to play in the canon storyline in the long run-

So keep in mind this is all PURELY me, my canon gfhjdkdjfs

-----------------------------------------------------------

The first one CC met of the bunch of stinky bastards was Dexter, unlike in canon- Dexter was found by CC in the dumpster, like he literally took a look at this perfectly in good condition and cute doll and said ...Aww, your cute- you're coming home with me! (Dumb idiot didn't even see the box had been stabbed with a knife so many times)

So he brought Dex home, got him cleaned up n stuff, completely unaware Dexter is sentient and ya know,, alive,, and he just goes about his night completely fucking oblivious to the doll trying to kill him (Btw, CC has three dogs, Cash, Winnie The Pooch, and Tootsie Roll)

----------------------------------------------------

Dex when he couldn't get to CC ...Well, he is kinda,, not the greatest for animals but the moment CC saw this, he fucking slammed that tiny bitch against the wall like "OH H E L L NO, NOT M Y BABIES..." Instead of like ya know being normal and trying to throw Dex out, he tells Dexter to go let off some fucking steam and then come back when hes done so they can talk

---------------------------------

Dex is shocked and completely dumbfounded that CC tells him to come b a c k but because Dexter is genuinely a lil curious even tho he denied it, he does so- and comes back and CC lays down the law for Dexter, that if hes gonna be staying here, his dogs are OFF limits, you cant hurt his sons

--------------------------------

Dexter is completely at a loss and goes basically like WTF DO YOU MEAN IF IM GOING TO STAY HERE, WHY ARENT YOU KICKING ME OUT? WHY DONT YOU LIKE HATE ME,, OR FEAR ME OR SOMETHING- (oh btw I forgot to mention CC had called Dex a cute doll, cute, adorable, etc before this incident took place,, which is a big thing bc in canon peeps usually call him an ugly doll which ...he is but i love him)

----------------------------------------------

CC just shrugs at him and tells him that he likes him, he thinks hes kinda cute, he seems like good company when hes not angry n such and Dex just goes . . . . . . Alright, fine, deal- fhjgdkdgjfs and that's how CC acquires husband number u n o (I do have an AU where CC dates Dexter when hes not possessing that Happy Fella Doll, literally nothing special its just an AU where Dex is alive)

Dexter also felt guilty for how they first met for the longest time, apologizing and making it up to CC in the long run, hell even now he can get a little scared sometimes that he'll wind up losing control (even tho Bob and or Frank have both said they'll fucking punt him if he tries ...CC didn't approve of that...)

----------------------------------------------

CC has made Dexter his old exterminating outfit as well, he seen ADs and pictures of what Dex looked like before the doll possession (he has found that bit out,, I forgot gfhfjkdfgds he found that bit out and feels terrible for Dexter, the way he went and now that hes stuck in a body he'd rather not have)

So CC decided to sew up a lil present for Dexter, he made the old exterminating outfit and even his fucking bag to the best of his ability, when he showed Dexter that surprise, he literally fucking cried and hugged CC so much after that

---------------------------------------------

Next up, CC met Frank in quite possibly the dumbest way possible,, CC loves to stroll at night alone and he saw an ice cream truck in the distance, he got excited in hopes he'd get some late night sweets, and he knocked on the window ...When nobody answered he got curious, wondering if this was abandoned orrr not

-----------------------------------------

It's not... He goes inside only to discover Frank, literally... Well doing his stuff, the kidnapping thing- the druggin bit- ya know,, EITHER WAY- CC saw this, Frank looked back at him (them silly lil fnaf lookin ass eyes just wide as could be) CC was standing there before literally just blinking and being like ...wow,, your hot, and tall, and beefy anyways can I get some ice cream big guy???

----------------------------------------------

Frank deadpans at CC (HE SAYS THAT BTW, OUT LOUD, NO FILTER) and just literally blinks before grinning "Hehe... Sure..." CC's encounter with Frank was the most fucking tame one out of the bunch, Frank did question if CC was going to tell anyone bout this but CC just shook his head 'nah man, idc lol oop' and then Frank gave him a fucking ice cream, free of charge

...NOT- NOTHINGS IN IT BTW DONT WORRY GHJFKJGFHDFKS its legit just actual ice cream

--------------------------------------------------------

CC then wanders off after that but Frank p much comes back to chill and hang with CC ...He does have some major beef with Dexter when he sees him at first tho like ...YOU, YOUR THE ONE THAT BIT ME, YEAH AND YOUR THE ONE THAT PUNCHED ME (before they became buddies with one another, when CC was not around, they'd fuckin fight,, have a full on smackdown and then when CC was around they'd act like angels)

------------------------------------------------------------

After awhile of hanging out, I don't have specifics on how it happened actually, but there's husband number 2 for CC- and then finally,, the one you'll be a lil familiar with Friendo Mitch!! Its Bob time!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sooo CC and the two lads, Frank n Dex went to Boys n Grills bc they h u n g y, Frank drove em of course in his van,, they got inside, immediately noticed CC has a fucking crush on the big guy and just INSTANTLY tease him about it (Btw if I haven't made it crystal clear, CC is Polyamorous)

CC gets a lil shy bc the boys are fucking teasing him over this and then they order food, CC orders just fries bc he cant eat burgers or his tummy hurty, Dexter doesn't eat bc well, hes a doll now- and Frank gets a burger

--------------------------------------------

After they ate, the two literally fucking let CC work his magic,, just being like you got this lil man,, before they just fucking left (...JUST BACK TO THE VAN HJGFKDJDGF T-THEY DIDNT LEAVE HIM A T BOYS AND GRILLS) and then CC was alone with Bob.

---------------------------------------------

Bob had been noticing CC was shy with him this entire time,, he had noticed it from the start and well all I'll say is the fucker didnt help matters- but also he thought CC was nervous about him which is why he decided to try scarin CC with some of his cannibal facts but CC is again a fucking dumbass

-------------------------------

He INSTANTLY lights up and takes out a notepad and goes "Tell me more!" he's interested in the facts bc well hes a horror writer and Bob is giving him some good pointers for that topic ...Bob actually gets a lil happy someone enjoys his facts for once but also weirded out bc wtf ur supposed to be scared? ...He tells him facts for a bit before CC says he has to go, that it was nice meeting him!

-------------------------------------------------

Later that night... Bob in his true fashion had broken into CC's home bc I mean, if I haven't established it also yet,, I have picked the worst three to latch onto, they aren't good (...well to CC they are, I need to clarify btw, they are NOT mean or abusive or some weird shit to CC, they are genuinely loving, caring partners to him BUT!!! CC is not going to try and change them either, he loves them just for them, he's kinda,, mm I wanna say CC is morally grey if thats the right term to use,, bc he wont necessarily do anything bad ..Unless you hurt his dogs or husbands... but usually he's morally grey)

--------------------------------------------------

ANYWAYS- Dexter heard it but he just thought it was one of CC's dogs messing around, bc he also heard some barking from the dogs, he knew Cash sometimes gets late night zoomies, but a few mins after CC gets up bc sometimes he cant sleep and just decides fuck it, imma head out-

----------------------------------------

so CC heads into the kitchen to get himself some water and then encounters a big ol devil fella, breathing heavily and standing there in the kitchen, turning to face him, before Bob can even say a fact, CC waves with a polite smile "Oh hey Bob, what's up?" The man fucking looks shocked "...How'd ya know it was me?!"

----------------------------------------

CC woulda chuckled at that and been like "The eyes, the smile, the heavy breathing" Bob gets a bit angry bc like ok how dare you not be fuckin scared of me I BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSE, I CAN LITERALLY COOK YOU IN YOUR OWN KITCHEN-

-----------------------------------------------------------------

CC isn't scared, he just says Bob is hot and then goes past him, giving him a pat on the cheek to get something to drink from the fridge, Bob is just,, steaming over there,, like wtf is wrong with this guy,, he has no idea he could be in literal danger rn- CC is just treating him so friendly, kindly, either way- CC offers Bob some candy by the end of this

-------------------------------------------------------------

Bob just sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before just taking the candy bowl in its entirety and just munching down with a grin- hes sitting at the table with CC whose drinking some milk while Dexter gets up and Frank does, they see CC sitting here with the fucking Devil Butcher himself

and they just scream "CC,, THATS THE GODDAMN CANNIBAL FROM THE NEWS, WTH ARE YOU DOING?" CC just shakes his head "It's fine, it's just Bob" and then Dexter and Frank realize "...wait shit fr?" Bob takes his mask off and just goes "Sup?"

...And so husband number three slowly gets required, not right off the bat btw,, CC didn't just automatically form a relationship fgjkdlgdjfsd thats not how it works

-----------------------------------------------------------

A funny bit I had for CC meeting Bob lore was that Frank talked to Bob afterwards like "So your that cannibal, yeah?" Bob nods "Mhm, did ya enjoy your burger, big man?" Frank is drinking something and then pauses as he slowly turns to Bob "...What was in that burger?" Bob doesn't answer, he just grins and Frank just turns to him fully in fear "BOB, WHAT WAS IN MY FUCKING BURGER...?!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

CC's 'lore' and this entire bit of 'lore' is literally just so fucking silly,, this is so OOC compared to literally ANYTHING canon but like I said,, CC was never made to go for any canonical spooky month storyline,, he was just made for one: My little selfshipper heart

The Silliest Lads get into all sorts of shenanigans behind the scenes,, I just have nothing posted about it vjklcfjhdfksld

now if you want something a BIT closer to any sort of canon bullshit in SM, well, if you or anyone else asks/sends another ask,, I'll talk about Alan next, he's got a storyline attached to Bob but its WAY MORE in character and canonical

I WILL WARN THO BEFOREHAND- Again,, that will also have cannibalism talk and its actually some pretty dark shit,, hes the angst OC I got,, hes been used for nothin but angst

@kayfabebabe

Also tagging you just in case bc I didn't type this up for tumblr just not to notify ya lmao,, thank you btw for asking Friendo Mitch!!! Ya got me all happy and just exhilarated to talk about my funky lil guy here! <3

[sweet-little-dude]

am i gonna start like blogging blogging on this account now? probably

[anyathefandom]

"FAILURE TO LAUNCH!!!" I said calmly.

Okay since we're getting close to the end of "how to keep house while drowning," I should get started on my next project. Not sure which one though...

Check the tags for more info!

[slimemoldmemes]

@EmperorPalpatineOfficial If you say you are so powerful stop hiding behind conscripts you wrinkly dried up geriatric fuck

[daresplaining]

As morbid as it would have been, Netflix missed their chance by not letting Dex bring julie up to the wedding as his plus one

    HAHA! Oh man, that would have been great. Horrifying, but… great. 

[padawansuggest]

Dex, as the best man to Obi-Wan at their wedding: When I first fished this feral Stewjoni child out of a dumpster, I didn’t expect him to end up amounting to anything beyond rehab. He’s done so much more than rehab, he’s actually been to multiple rehabs, but ending up married to the Mand’alor’s son was even more shocking. I damn near had to pry them off of each other, they were trying SO hard to murder in my diner that day. Anyways, here’s to them. They’re each other’s problem now.

Obi-Wan: *crying* that was so sweet.

Jango: Yeah. I wonder if he has pics of you being pulled outta the dumpster. Sounds like good blackmail.

Obi-Wan: Too late, everyone I know had seen them but you.

Jango: :/

Jango: I came into this world screaming and covered in blood and I intend to go out the same way.

Obi-Wan: *hissing, desperately trying to bite him*

Dex: *standing between them both holding them apart with little effort since they don’t wanna hurt him* See this is why I never wanted to introduce your feral asses SIT DOWN OR NEITHER OF YOU GET LUNCH OMFG-

[melanieexox]

GENERAL HOSPITAL | Sept 5, 2022: Joss falls in the dumpster and takes Dex with her. #HowConvenient