#devils.personal

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Something they don’t tell you about leaving your abuser is that you’re gonna miss them

Like, it sucks, but I miss them

I can’t help it, I know they caused me trauma, I know that I am better off

But sometimes I wonder “how is she?”

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Wise words, I cannot listen to certain songs without reminding myself of my grandfather’s

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Still can’t believe my dumbass 12 year old self dated an 18 year old who wanted a polyamorous relationship with me and her 27 year old boyfriend.

Don’t be a dumbass.

I remember turning 18 and just going “that’s a fucking kid?” When I encountered a 12 year old. I didn’t understand. How could she fucking ask nudes from me to send to him? She’s the reason why I grew up around BDSM. She’s the reason I knew everything and could do everything perfectly, for her. All for her.

You were a victim too, you were groomed and he went to prison and somehow you ended up being JUST LIKE HIM. You became what you hated. You groomed me. You used me.

The moment I learned, the moment realization hit, I knew I had to leave. I couldn’t stay near her anymore.

Nicole Bywater, you are the WORST fucking person I’ll ever meet. I don’t care that you changed your name to Kita Ookami.

I carry your memory with me everywhere I go. It took me forever to understand it wasn’t my fault. I was a child. A literal child.

I despise you.

I’m almost 24, the same age I blocked you. The same age I cut you from my life. Wish I had never met you.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

I’m extremely picky when it comes to friends, I will never hang out with anyone who does recreational drugs or drinks, and yes if I were to find out later on I’d slowly cut things off.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

I forget that kinks are hereditary and then my mom casually goes “I love getting tattoos and waxed because the pain feels good” and I mentally shut down

[thedevilsfamiliar]

SCREAMING

😩😩😩😩😩 bestie this is why I don’t give my phone to strangers

I let them look their name up to send them some pics and FUCKIN

POPPED UP

SCREAMING

@gracefulsneeze

[thedevilsfamiliar]

My sister, coming up to hug me: Avey!

Me, dodging her gremlin ass knowing fully well that she’s been sleeping with my covid positive parents: not today mini satan

My mother: Avery! Baby, leave them alone, they’re just being a dick

My sister, not even a day later: *tests positive for covid*

Me, looking at the camera like in the office: :|

[thedevilsfamiliar]

What’s up besties my mom just dropped on me that she wants to start a dom/sub onlyfans

she then had the audacity to go “maybe I can be the dom!”

“No you can’t.” -me

“Wha— why not? >:/”

“You’re a sub. A brat.”

“I can be dom!”

“Where do you think I got it from? It’s hereditary, mother.”

My mom proceeds to break into fits of wheezing laughter

“You got that from your dad 🙄 he was my bitch.”

I gained +50 psychic damage

[thedevilsfamiliar]

We can all agree that I don’t like children, right? I’ve mentioned it before, I’ll say it now and then. I don’t like kids, plain and simple.

However, my siblings (and cousins) are exempt from my natural dislike.

Today, my sister came up to me saying that a kid pushed her, she has bruises on her back and lemme tell you about how livid I am.

My sister is 7, she’s tiny for her age, she’s practically skin and bone (naturally skinny, does not gain weight no matter how much she eats.)

Wind blows against her and she can topple over.

And some snot nosed brat has the audacity to push her?

I’m curb stomping a kid, i don’t give a fuck.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Something that people with itty bitty tiddies don’t understand is under boob sweat.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

If any of my family members say shit about my partner’s ethnicity I will cut contact. It’s not funny to make racist jokes nor do I tolerate slurs.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Get you an enby who can do both

My hair streaks are paid actors

[thedevilsfamiliar]

All I can really say now is— don’t think just because you’re young that there’s nothing wrong. Go get checked, even if someone calls you paranoid.

This cancer took him quick and quietly, I only wish I could’ve had more time to say goodbye.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Went on Facebook again, his sister posted on to his account

Scrolled through it and saw our high school graduation photo

Cried again

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Whenever I think about potentially having a kid, my brain kickstarts the memory chain of why I shouldn’t and damn brain, you make some good points

The most reoccurring memory rn is that time my mom miscarried (don’t know how old the fetus were) and she scooped them from gods know where and put them on the bathroom sink and invited me to look at them

Two red blobs, kinda looked like the fetus from Silent Hills, definitely didn’t look like babies

But damn, it still sticks with me. Every time I close my eyes I flashback to that point and how manic she was.

[thedevilsfamiliar]

I hate having moments where I remember how things used to be and end up mourning for how much they’ve changed

You used to be my safe space

We would come home after school and cuddle and sleep

Where did that safety go

I was thinking about how much I miss your hugs, your scent, the way I could melt into your arms

And began to tear up

You’re still here but it’s not the same, it won’t ever be the same, the safety is gone, and I do not trust you