#devi was not my favourite character all the time and i find it very difficult to consistently root for her but god. god

[diegoshargrieves]

me when "what is wrong with me? what would make ben sleep with me and decide not to be with me?"

[fishyyyyy99]

Hello! Do you have a top 5 moments for benvi?

Hi! This is a difficult question, and I'm not sure I have an unchanging answer. But I'll try to answer based on what I currently think. Also, I'm sorry - I've chosen 7 moments instead of 5 (narrowing it down that much was hard enough).

1. I have two moments that are tied for first position. These are also probably my two favourite Never Have I Ever moments, not just my two favourite Benvi moments:

1. 3 x 10

When Ben finally tells Devi how much he'll miss her, and Devi is surprised by how she suddenly feels knots in her stomach - it's a chef's kiss moment. It made me incredibly emotional. There was something so triumphant (it's an important character development moment for Devi plus my Benvi shipping heart was happy) , yet subtle and real about that moment. The song that plays during that scene - Car Keys by Jaguar Sun will forever represent to me, the quiet realisation that someone is your person.

4 x 04

I love, love how Devi finds Ben near the lockers, and rescues him by giving him her shirt. First of all, it's Devi doing something super meaningful for Ben after so long. I also like that despite not being on talking terms, she still understands him really well and cares for him. I also like that the trope of the girl wearing the guy's shirt gets reversed, and she gives him the shirt that she's wearing, instead. Their eye contact is SO intense, and I really like how he shakes his head as if to clear it because just looking at her puts him under a spell. And then, there's their banter, and his tiny smile even though they're not friends at that point. I also like how she understands what he wants to say before he says it out loud, and accepts it. I just love their repressed longing in this scene!

2. 4 x 05

It was so beautiful to see Ben and Devi act so maturely in this scene and know exactly how to comfort each other. I also liked that their conflict got resolved without much drama in this scene, and that they went back to being best friends. I loved Devi's smile - she was so happy that she had helped Ben feel "oddly inspired".

3. 3 x 02

I actually really like the scene in which Aneesa sees Ben and Devi just having fun, because to me, it captures the essence of Benvi - they're best friends first, and lovers next. It shows just how much they enjoy spending time together. I also really like the scene in which Ben is texting Devi during Aneesa's game, their scenes in 1 x 05 and 1 x 06, their scenes in 3 x 05, and the scene in 3 x 09 after Devi apologises to him. TBH, Benvi as a whole is an enemies to lovers arc, but in season 3 specifically, it was a best friends to lovers arc, in my opinion. And this scene in 3 x 02 shows very clearly from an outsider's perspective just how they seem to have a world of their own. TBH, I think all of their other friendship moments together, form rank number 3 on this list (I think they're the reason the scene in 3 x 10 was so meaningful to me). But I'm choosing 3 x 02 to represent their friendship, because it shows someone within the show recognising how Ben and Devi have fun together.

4. There are three scenes here at position number 5.

1 x 10

Devi realises that Ben waited for her, and then she kisses him. I love how he kisses her back, then pulls back to see if this is really happening before leaning in for a much deeper and longer kiss. This is undoubtedly my favourite kissing scene on the show. What a perfect end to a great first season.

3 x 10

Devi deciding to have sex on her own terms, and not out of peer pressure is also a great character development moment for her. I really liked how she surprised herself like Dr. Ryan said she might. And this was such a satisfying and triumphant end to season 3. The use of the "boink card" was such a cute way to execute this.

4 x 10

The very, very last Benvi moment during which we see them hanging out together at Princeton. This moment just felt so very real to me. I'd say it was the realest moment in the series for me. Something about it felt so natural, and they looked like a real couple. I almost forgot that I was watching a TV show.

[peterpan-in-neverland]

2020 Fanfic Roundup

I’m following the same format as @catty-words​ so if I did it wrong... well, you can guess who I will be blaming (love you, Cori). Anyway, here I go!

Total Word Count of 2020: 112,490

Total Hits of 2020: 16,321

Other 2020 AO3 Stats: KUDOS: 1,320 COMMENTS: 197 BOOKMARKS: 149

(just for comparison)

Total Word Count of 2019: 19,242

Link and Titles to Works of 2020:

[Law & Order: Special Victims Unit] Too Close (5,342 words) - post “A Midnight in Manhattan” Amanda and Sonny discuss things she thought they would never bring up

[Never Have I Ever] Never Have I Ever… Hooked Up With My Arch-Nemesis (4,834 words) - In which Devi wants Ben to shut the hell up after she finds out he got into Princeton

[Never Have I Ever] Anemoia (n.) (2,641 words) - Rebecca is much more than just Paxtons sister

[Never Have I Ever] Sonder (n.) (11,615 words) - Five times Ben and Devi realize the other is human, and the one time it changes things

[Anne With an E] Flashover (n.) (6,986 words) - Gilbert runs a flower shop that Anne visits once a week

[Never Have I Ever] Agnosthesia (n.) (1,530 words) - the order of things about Ben that Devi falls in love with

[Never Have I Ever] let there be damage ensued and tabloid news (5,806 words) - five times Ben realizes Devi is beautiful and the one time she realizes he is beautiful, too

[Never Have I Ever] and that kind of love (2,391 words) - Paxton rescues a drunk Eleanor from a party

[Never Have I Ever] don’t expect me to play fair (5,049 words) - Eleanor is getting anonymous flowers after every performance on her first Broadway show.

 [Never Have I Ever] Ecstatic Shock (n.) (6,669 words) - Eleanor tries to have a simple rebound with a Tinder date that turns out to be Paxton Hall-Yoshida

 [Never Have I Ever] Pâro (n.) (7,328 words) - Devi asks Ben to fake being her boyfriend for a party, and everything goes wrong

 [Never Have I Ever] our coming of age has come and gone (7,566 words) - five times someone implied that Ben and Devi like each other, and the one time they admit it

 [Never Have I Ever] tried to change the ending (5,012 words) - Devi looks back on the track of her and Ben's relationship

 [Never Have I Ever] tossing pennies in the pool (4,585 words) - in the wake of Devi's breakup with Paxton, she attempts to figure out who she is

 [Never Have I Ever] rock n roll is here to stay (4,132 words) - in which Devi considers Ben and herself

 [Anne With an E] just think of the fun things we could do (5,722 words) - Anne reappears in Gilberts life

 [Never Have I Ever] and why i’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words (16,724 words) - Paxton and Eleanor run into each other at the Sherman Oaks class of 2023 reunion

 [Never Have I Ever] Worlds of Starlight (8,558 words) - in 1878, when Shadowhunters begin to go missing, Ben Gross' search leads him to the doors of the London Institute-- run by the Vishwakumar family-- where Mohan Vishwakumar has just vanished

Favourite Fic: I really really loved my Rebecca fic, but I am also a little weak for coming of age

Hardest Fic: Worlds of Starlight has been the most difficult to write, in terms of risks being taken and just plain cultural things-- writing for characters you dont share a culture with is really hard because of nuances and such-- and I also had a bit of a hard time with tabloid news

Do you plan to take prompts in 2021?

I would love to take prompts! Alas, I am bad at writing them and overall I am not a very popular person or writer-- all of my interactions on my work are because my friends list them on fic rec pages and they are all cool and popular blogs-- so people do not tend to come to me seeking custom works. It would be lovely, though! Perhaps I should make a post about which fandoms I will write for… 

What was the best thing about 2020?

@catty-words @parkersedith @montygreen @feisties ← meeting them and tricking them into believing that I am worthy of their friendship and entrance into the writing squad

What was the worst thing about 2020?

Um… everything?

Any last thoughts for 2020?

Goodbye and thank you for NHIE

Goals for 2021:

Less fanfic related guilt (in terms of productivity) 

Actually get some prompts and have good ideas for them

Posting my friends birthday fics on their actual birthdays instead of a million years late (or not at all-- sorry, my loves)

I want to finish Worlds of Starlight and maybe come of with a better name for it

Maybe break 150K? Or 200K? That would be neat. And garner some more appreciation for eleanor/paxton, obviously

[pocmuzings]

15 , 21 , 25 , 32 !! i love u ma'am <3

WRITERS ASK GAME - ACCEPTING !

i love u more than anything in this world ok

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

i kinda just let it pass ? because i know it comes and goes a lot . mainly , pushing myself to read is usually a great way to push me out of any slump , because when i consume writing , thats usually when i can expel it back out into the world ! if its really bad , i usually just FORCE myself to write , because writing anything is better than nothing , right ?

21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

i've been writing a character named rava , for my novel , for a while now , and i love her . she is a complex female with a lot of complex feelings regarding her family , and herself . she is very closed - off but she's just trying her best , you know ? i also really enjoyed writing indira kapoor , because again - confident sexy sensual indian women are RARE ! alejandra barrera was my bomb of a woman , and i'll forever love her and how her emotions controlled her more than she controlled them . some characters are just easier to write than others , and i won't lie - writing evil , awful male characters is just sometimes so easy , and i think thats because ive had such an experience with awful men that its so EASY for me to replicate their awful-ness ? like arturo . . ricardo . . they're truly awful people , but its just so easy to write them and to kinda hold a mirror up to how real men in life have shaped the way i write men , and show them back out into the world .

25.  Favourite part of writing

when i've been building to something or i've foreshadowed something , and i know it's ALLLL about to drop together and make sense and come together . that's just . . the most MAGICAL feeling to me . or when i know the answer everyone is expecting . .so i go the exact OTHER way and give my readers a bit of whiplash . thats what i love doing . its just . . being able to produce a reaction from readers ? thats what its ALL about !

32.  Most difficult character to write

i love pari patel so much , but she is hard to write because she's meant to be faking everything and it's hard for me to write her fake persona and SHOW that its fake and not her real self, and that shes a whole other woman beneath it all - actually quite a vengeful and cruel woman . i find it hard to try and balance the two and portray it well . i'm also having trouble writing a character named pia , in another book i'm trying to write , because she's meant to be a Negative character who builds herself to redemption whilst also being someone negative the audience can relate to ( kinda like devi from never have i ever ) but i'm having a hard time trying to find sympathy for her or write her in a sympathetic manner .

[pezzo-di-paradiso]

Some facts about me

I was tagged by @willevince thank you!! 

• Nickname: none other than different forms of my name

• Starsign: pisces

• What I’m Wearing: my pajamas 

• Dream Job: i want to be a translator or interpreter (i don’t even know if i’ll be good at it, though)

• Favourite Quote: i don’t really have one favourite but i really like this one “Per ricordarti chi sei, devi dimenticare cosa ti hanno detto di essere”

• Favourite Food: maybe chicken? and i really really love everything that’s sweet

• Favourite Movie: tons of those.. “Sulla mia pelle”, “Nocturnal Animals”, “Mommy”, “The killing of a sacred deer”, “Incendies”, “La vita è bella”, “Detachment” and many more

• Favourite Sport: I really love watching basketball especially europe / world championships where our national team plays. i don’t do any sports now but i’d love to get back to table tennis

• Dream Trip: anywhere? i’d love to visit any part of the world. i want to go to Russia, The Netherlands, Germany, UK, Spain, Albania, Greece... just anywhere

• Languages: Lithuanian, English, Italian, Russian, French, I’ve studied a bit of latin too

• Favourite Song: IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE! “Vietato morire” di Ermal and “Un respiro” di Irama are the first ones that pop into my head but I could list all the discography of Ermal, Ultimo, Irama, Marco Mengoni... 

• Favourite Book: Edgar Allan Poe stories and poems, “The white shroud” by Antanas Škėma (originally in Lithuanian but now you can find the translation in English!!), yeah mainly these two, but there are definitely more

• What Do I Hate: oooh, that’s interesting.. I hate bad and rude people, liars, those who are egocentric and dishonest, “special snowflakes”. I also hate huge and crowded places, I don’t like being in a big group of people, it makes me overwhelmed

• Random Fact: i’ m such a boring person, i don’t even know

• Describe Yourself as Aesthetic Things: the smell of coffee and books, starry nights, art galleries, humming quietly, laughing at the wrong time in the wrong place, late night working, piles of notebooks, lilacs, succulents, flowery dresses, wanting to conquer the world, long and warm hugs, movie nights, thunderstorms (this is so difficult, someone describe me as an aesthetic thing please) 

• Do I Get Asks: usually no

• Other Blogs: i don’t have any more blogs, i haven’t been very active on this one lately, how would i keep up with another one?

• Hogwarts House: Gryffindor!

• Patronus: Black and White Cat!

• Favourite Characters: Jess Day from “New Girl”

• Relationship Status: single

• Top Three Ships: i really don’t have any

• Lipstick or Chapstick: both? usually chapstick but it’s spring already so time for some red lipstick!

• Spell Out Your Name in Songs:

R - Rolex - Irama U - Un pezzo di cielo in più - La fame di Camilla T - Ti dedico il silenzio - Ultimo A - Amalia - Marco Mengoni

I tag @tuoiparticolari @blacksheepaesthetics @peterpanvuoivolareconme @ebillogique @diari0deglierrori

[phati-sari]

Do you remember IPKKND office-lift promo? Can you give us your thoughts on that.

Hello :)

For those interested, we’re talking about this promo. (I think, please correct me if there’s another office-lift promo I am unaware of!) Please keep in mind that it’s much easier to analyse this because the serial is over! I’ll try to separate my thoughts into what the promo implies and what ended up being true, but it’s difficult.

This is one of my favourite promos. In keeping with the rest, it focusses on the differences between Khushi and Arnav rather than the similarities. I find the others a bit heavy-handed but in my opinion this is more in keeping with the characters we saw in the serial.

I wish they’d shown ASR and Chamkili in lifts in the serial. I mean, I know there wasn’t a lift on set but still.

Imagine the sexy, forbidden kissing while hidden in the lift.

Sorry. I’m focussing.

Khushi looks up at him and though she is clearly the focus of the shot, Arnav is in the foreground. The shot implies that he has power over her and that she feels powerless. This is confirmed by the dialogue:

K: “Chah kar bhi, main tumse door kyun nahin reh pati?”    [Why can’t I stay away from you even though I want to?]

I love that Khushi says this! Every time she tries to get away from him in the serial, she’s thrown back into his sphere of influence by Devi Maiyya – his fashion show, his office, his home, his bedroom. So that line obviously speaks to the initial tracks of the show.

The way she lowers her eyes implies shyness not fear, which is a nice touch :)

He gets out of the lift and then looks back at Khushi. The look-back is an integral part of Khushi and Arnav’s relationship – it’s how they gauge reactions and exchange truths. And that certainly seems the case here:

A: “Shayad mera dil tumhe pukarta hai.”    [Maybe my heart calls out to you.]

Arnav saying this is powerful because he fell first. He fought harder than Khushi because he knew what was happening to him, but he definitely formed an attachment first.

The lift doors closing on Khushi was another nice touch – visually representing the many barriers between them and hinting at the main tension in the first arc of the serial. Then their takrar is shown visually as they bump into one another in the corridor. 

Khushi’s papers go flying, which most likely represents the havoc he’ll wreak on her life, but she’s not interested. She’s watching him, and with the benefit of hindsight we know this is true of the character as well – she cannot focus on anything but Arnav when he’s around and he very quickly became her main priority.

K: “Par in aankhon mein, nafrat dikhayi deti hai.”    [But there is hatred in those eyes.]

She’s complaining to him because he’s just said that his heart calls out to her, and I find this interesting because Khushi spent a lot of the serial waiting for Arnav to make a move. 

Then Arnav steps on the fallen papers, indicating power (specifically destructive power), before shutting himself in his office. But he opens the blinds to stare at her (a classic bitwa trait) as she collects her papers. It feels like he’s watching her put the pieces of her life back together.

A: “Kyun ki mohabbat in mein dard ban kar rehti hai.”    [Because love manifests as pain in them.]

This line is why this promo is my favourite. I think it’s incredibly powerful to watch this in hindsight because this concept was implied but never verbally articulated in the serial. Perhaps the idea was that the audience would be more sympathetic towards Arnav if they’d heard him say it in the promo?

The scene jumps to Khushi sitting alone, holding a half-torn photo of the two of them. The photo seems to be of him giving her money. I like that the photo is half torn – it implies that forces try to separate them but they manage to hold on.

This, of course, is Shyam. As the serial’s initial concept went all the way to Shyam’s reveal it’s unsurprising that even the promos hint at the role he plays – the show was always about two lovers who were separated because she was his sister’s rival.

Khushi attempts to rejoin the photo as she speaks –

K: “Kaash main tumse nafrat kar paati.”    [If only I could hate you.]

I love the visual because she’s trying to repair the photo as she says that. Khushi couldn’t hate Arnav if she tried – much to the frustration of the fandom ;)

Arnav is then shown shown leaning against his car in the rain (another classic bitwa trait), crumpling the same photo as he speaks –

A: “Kaash main tumse mohabbat kar paata.”    [If only I could love you.]

It’s the exact opposite of Khushi in that he tries to destroy the photo while speaking about wanting to love her. Importantly, his photo is not ripped, implying that Khushi ripped hers and is now trying to repair it.

The screen then splits to show Khushi holding the torn photo to her heart while Arnav leans back against his car and closes his eyes. I love the juxtaposition :)

The dialogue in the promo speaks for itself (pun intended). It’s true to the show and to the characters but more importantly, it bears a resemblance to Khushi’s monologue during kidnap and echoes the lyrics of ‘Tu Hi Bata Mere Maula’. The thesis of the show is captured brilliantly.

I don’t trust my analysis of colouring because I can’t find a high quality print. It seems very purply-blue in the office scenes, and the absence of yellows might indicate a lack of happiness and sunshine. Yellow is also associated with the divine. 

The yellows and greens come back in full-force when Khushi holds the photo but the blues are missing. Not only does it give the scene a sickly hue, it implies a lack of calm. The scene with Arnav against the car is mostly a grayish blue. It feels bleak, lacking warmth, which is probably intentional. The rain is a nice touch, implying tears and sadness. Water is a key motif in the serial as well.

This promo would have drawn me in like the sucker that I am. Thank you very much for asking, I enjoyed writing this up!!