#dethshit writes

[dethshit]

Brandon Small, Take Notes

Day 2 - A MTL Movie Prediction

Toki shook with fear as he clung to Skwisgaar's hand as the band headed further into the temple of the Black Klok. He tried to stay as close to Skwisgaar as he could without the Swede getting annoyed and pushing him away.

Two figures pushed open the double burgundy doors for the band, their faces shadowed by hoods. They lowered their heads as Nathan walked past first.

The doors closed after Murderface crossed the threshold last. He turned around to grimace at the door.

Pickles looked around, staying close to Nathan's side. "This place is fockin' weird, doods." He mumbled with a frown as he glanced around the barely lit room.

Nathan elbowed his side to keep the shorter man quiet as the five of them came to a stop just before a massive podium. It was dark grey with a skull very similar to Facebones etched into the front.

Toki immediately moved to cling to Nathan's back as a door opened from the side. Red light spilled into the dark room as another hooded figure came into the room.

This person was shorter than the two outside the doors. They were only a few inches taller than Pickles, dressed in blood red robes with black fur lining the hood. They walked up to the podium and climbed up the two steps to tower over the band. "Ah... hello again, boys."

All five men froze, eyes going wide. They knew that voice! They knew that particular pause, that fucking speech pattern!

"Offdensens!" Toki squealed, sprinting past Nathan to tackle Charles off the podium.

Charles squawked as he fell backwards with Toki on top of him, squeezing his middle as tight as he could. "Y-Yes, hello Toki." He wheezed between his bruised ribs.

Toki rubbed his face against the robe, tears gathering in his eyes. "Yous lefts withouts saying goodsbyes to me!" He cried into the blood red cloth.

Charles pushed his hood back while he awkwardly patted Toki's back. His hair had grown since his time as the band's manager, the back now touching his shoulders. Silver had weaved through the chocolate brown strands. He had traded his square frames for half moon glasses with metal armature.

"You look old, dood." Pickles commented with a smirk.

Charles rolled his eyes as he tried to push Toki off once the hug started to get uncomfortable. "Very hilarious. May we comment on my appearance after you all save the world once again?"

Toki squeezed harder when he felt Charles' hand sneak between his arms. "Nos!"

"Toki, please."

"Nos! Yous gonna leaves again!"

Charles winced. The comment stung a little more than he cared to admit. He sighed heavily. "Very well. At least let me stand."

Toki nodded and Charles stood to his feet. Toki wrapped his arms around Charles again, gripping him by the shoulders now.

Charles awkwardly waddled back towards the podium and grabbed the black leather bound book. "Now. Let's get to work."

[dethshit]

Blindsided

Day 5: A Trick or A Treat

"Dana, I'm not sure about this. Pranks aren't really my... style." Noni protested quietly as they stirred the pot of caramel.

Dana widened her puppy dog eyes, lower lip quivering ever so slightly as she held a bag of onions. Please? She signed sadly.

Noni glanced over at the apples they had prepared beforehand. "Isn't it sort of... mean?"

No! It's only a joke and besides... Her pout turned to a vicious smile. The band loves a good prank. Especially Murderface.

Noni turned a light shade of pink. "O-Oh? A-And why would that be important?" They averted their eyes from a smirking Dana.

She let out a heavy sigh, clasping her hands together and pointing them.

"What?"

Noni. Everyone knows you like him. Except maybe for him. He's kind of stupid. She signed, throwing the onions onto the counter. She sat close to the stove and Noni pushed her off. She rolled her eyes and rested her chin on their arm. Please, Noni. Come on. It'll be fun! You'll be able to show off for your crush. She bobbed her eyebrows.

Noni shoved her playfully, causing her to stumble. "Stop that." They ruffled her short hair, causing her curls to stick up.

She let out a squeak and tried to fix her wild curls. Noni! I finally got these fuckers to look somewhat decent. She groaned, exhaling harshly through her clenched teeth as she used her reflection in the oven door to get the curls to lay flat.

"You deserve it for teasing me. I don't bring up the fact you like Abigail."

Dana's eyes went wide and she flailed as she tried to cover Noni's mouth. Shut up!

Noni laughed heartily. "Fine. We can do this prank if you promise to lay off the jokes."

Dana narrowed her eyes, weighing her options. Deal.

---------

Dana had been set on skewer duty, shoving a stick into the apples and onions. "Don't forget to separate them so we know what's what." Noni reminded her gently as they started dipping some of the apples into the caramel.

Yeah, yeah. I got this. She signed with a skewer in hand.

Noni smiled warmly as they set the apples onto a parchment lined pan. Dana pushed a bowl of crushed peanuts their way with wide sparkling eyes.

"Peanuts?" Noni asked as they took the bowl. She nodded furiously. "Okay, fine." They agreed as she celebrated.

--------

Jean-Pierre came into the kitchen. "Ah, is everything going well, mademoiselle Dana and... Noni?" He asked.

Dana nodded with a big smile shot in his direction as she passed a skewered onion to Noni.

Jean-Pierre blinked, his eyes momentarily out of sync.

Noni smiled nervously as they chuckled to alleviate some of the tension. "D-Dana wanted to pull a prank on the band." They explained, feeling their mouth go dry as Jean-Pierre's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"Then if I may offer a suggestion?"

Noni sweated bullets while Dana nodded her head eagerly.

Jean-Pierre went to the pantry and pulled open the massive black door. He browsed the shelves for several minutes and Noni could feel the panic starting to subside when he came back with two containers. One had sprinkles and the other had chocolate chips. "If you wish to entice the lords to eat your delectable treats... I would suggest offering some form of temptation."

Dana's eyes went wide as she let out a manic chuckle. Jean-Pierre, you're one mean son of a bitch. We're gonna be such good friends.

Jean-Pierre turned to Noni for translation. "What did she say?"

Noni shot her a dark look at the use of profanity. "She says thank you for your ideas and she believes the two of you could be very good friends."

Jean-Pierre smiled, one of the stitches peeling from the corner of his mouth. "I would be honored and pleased to be your friend, mademoiselle Dana."

She squealed and hugged him tightly. His jaw dislocated and his eye popped out. It landed on her shoulder while he tried to push his jaw back into place. "My apologies." He mumbled as he took his eye to the sink to rinse it off and stuck it back into the socket.

Her eyes sparkled. That is so cool.

"Sometimes you terrify me Dana." Noni patted her head while Jean-Pierre shuffled off.

-------------

The two of them finished their caramel apples and onions, separated by their toppings. Dana took one of the peanut coated apples with a big smile as she followed Noni into the den.

Nathan, Pickles and Skwisgaar were crammed onto the couch while they watched a horror movie. Skwisgaar was curled up, half of his body on Nathan's lap as he hid his face behind his knees.

Toki was at the opposite end of the den, busy trying to beat Murderface's score at one of the arcade cabinets. His tongue was poking out from the corner of his mouth as he concentrated.

Murderface himself was nowhere to be seen.

"Um... guys? We made caramel treats." Noni held up the tray while Dana chomped on her apple happily.

"Caramels?" Toki looked over their way and the arcade let out a depressed beep as he lost a life. "Dammits!"

"Wows, yous ams almost as bad an arcades players as yous ams a guitarists." Skwisgaar said dryly as he got up to grab one of the sprinkle covered caramel apples, not noticing how Dana gently pushed one towards his hand.

"Shuts up." Toki grumbled as he came over to grab a chocolate chip covered caramel apple. Dana stopped him and chose it for him, passing it to him with a saccharine smile. "Thanks!"

Dana shoved Noni's side, gesturing with her eyes for them to ask Nathan and Pickles for her.

"O-Oh. Nathan. Pickles. Would you both like one?" They asked while Dana stopped Skwisgaar and Toki from taking a bite.

"Sure. Gimme one of 'em peanut ones." They passed one of the caramel onions under Dana's command. "Nathan?"

"The vocalist glanced back at a grinning Dana before nodding. "I'll take one of the black sprinkles."

Noni passed it to him before grabbing a plain caramel apple, not noticing Dana making a quick swap. They picked it up and held it for a mock toast. "W-Well. Bottoms up."

Dana watched, her vicious smile returning as they all bit into their caramel onions.

Noni was the first to spit out their bite. "Dana!"

She cackled wildly, darting around the couch to avoid their grasp.

"How could you?!" They caught up to her, tickling her as she squealed and squirmed.

Nathan took another bite. "What the fuck kind of apple is this?"

Pickles was the second to spit out his bite. "Dood, it's a fockin' onion. Dana pranked us."

Skwisgaar set down his onion after swallowing his bite. "Dat ams a shittys pranks, Danas."

Toki set his down too. "I dunnos. It ams kinda funnies."

Abigail and Charles came into the den to investigate Dana's cries and laughter. "What's going on?" Abigail asked before getting sidetracked by the tray. "Oh. You guys made a treat?"

Dana squirmed her way out of Noni's hold, smoothing down her shirt as she nodded. Caramel apples. She explained with a fond smile directed at Abigail.

"They look delicious." She reached for one of the caramel onions.

Dana stopped her with wide eyes. Let me choose one for you! She signed quickly, passing her and Charles a treat before either one of them could question her erratic behavior.

"Oh... thanks?" Abigail's brow furrowed as she took the apple.

Charles raised an eyebrow as the guitarists snickered at him. "What's so funny?"

"Notings, notings. Eats yous apple. Dana made it special." Skwisgaar explained over Toki's giggles.

He frowned and waited for Abigail to take a bite first.

"This is really good, you two." She complimented around a mouthful of apple. Dana couldn't help it as she preened, a faint flush on her face.

Satisfied, Charles took a bite before spitting it out onto the floor. "I beg your pardon?!"

Noni shot her a disappointed look. "Really, Dana? You'd do that to Mr. Offdensen?" They put their hands on their hips like a disappointed parent as she laughed herself silly.

Yes. He's free game, he's dating my cousin. She explained between her fits of laughter. She wiped the tears from her face as she eventually calmed down.

"What do you mean? Do what?" Abigail asked, confused.

Charles set down his caramel onion with a dissatisfied look. "Ms. Kujakissa gave me a caramel... onion."

And you aren't the only one, Four Eyes. Gave it to the majority of the band too. She had a satisfied smirk on her face as she hopped onto the arm of the couch.

Abigail looked concerned, then confused, then she burst out in laughter. "Caramel onions?! That's genius!" She chuckled. "A-And all of you got a caramel onion?"

Upon the band's confirmation, she howled further with laughter. "M-My stomach hurts!" She complained between laughs as she doubled over.

Dana's flush darkened a little as a grin played on the edge of her lips. Noni gently knocked their elbow against her knee. You're looking a little lovestruck there, Dana. They teased gently in sign language.

She punched their bicep as they giggled, her face turning red.

"What's all the fuckin' noise about?" Murderface grumbled as he rubbed his face. It seemed the bassist had been sleeping during the entire encounter.

Dana's manic grin made a grand return as she stood up.

"Dana. No." Noni grabbed her wrist, scolding her as if she were a dog.

She shot them an offended look before slipping away, leaving her bracelet in the Samoan's grip.

"Dana, don't you dare!"

She ducked as Noni tried to grab her again and picked up the tray. She offered it to Murderface with a sweet smile.

"The fuck is this? Caramel apples?" He hissed between his front teeth as he frowned at the tray. "I'm not some little kid. I don't eat this schit."

Noni's face fell as Dana's smile transformed into a dark scowl. She was about to pick up a caramel onion and shove it down his ungrateful throat when Charles interrupted her.

"Well, Murderface. Dana and Noni made them for everyone to enjoy." The heavy emphasis on Noni's name was punctuated by Abigail taking a bite of her caramel apple.

Murderface froze, his face turning bright red as he looked over at the crestfallen Samoan. "W-Well... I suppose eating one won't be so bad..."

Dana's smile returned full force and she picked a plain caramel onion for him to enjoy.

He took a big bite and Dana waited patiently.

Then he took another bite. And another.

Noni, Abigail and Charles shared ludicrous looks.

Dana took a step back as he took another big bite, her face a mix of horror and confusion.

He had finished the entire caramel onion and set the stick onto the tray. "Nice treat."

Dana had gone green at the smell of his breath and she darted away, hiding behind Noni. Only her large panicked blue eyes and curly black hair was visible behind the massive Samoan as she gazed at him with fear in her eyes. She clutched Noni's arm tightly as she tried to rationalize what the fuck just happened.

"M-Murderface... you didn't think that tasted weird?" Abigail asked as she also looked at him with mild horror.

"It's fine for a caramel onion, I guessch." He glanced over at Noni. "This schomething you eat a lot?"

Noni shook their head. "N-No. Dana wanted to prank everyone." They gestured to the panicked woman still hiding behind them.

"Ah." He turned on his heel and left.

Dana peeked over their arm. What. The. Fuck. She signed with shaky hands.

Noni chuckled warmly, the sound reverberating against Dana's cheek as she slumped against them. "I guess Murderface pulled the prank on you instead."

Dana only replied with a whine.

[dethshit]

Toki Feels Pretty, Oh So Pretty

Day 4: Give someone a makeover

Toki sat in the middle of the floor in Dana's studio apartment, legs crossed as he flicked through the magazine to figure out what exactly was his "style." Apparently, the quick and easy quiz in the magazine would be able to narrow it down for him after a few questions. "Danas?" He called out.

She poked her head out with a questioning grunt. She had a purple marker behind her ear and a black felt tip marker in one hand. Colorful smudges and smears covered her forearms with a few swipes on the top of her hands.

"Dos yous have a pens I cans use?"

She checked her pockets with her free hand, patting down her black jeans. She made an affirmative noise when she found a pink gel pen in the back pocket. She tossed it to Toki who caught it in one hand.

"Thank yous!"

She nodded with a smile before vanishing further into the apartment.

He laid down on his belly as he clicked the pen to start the quiz. He hummed to himself as he swung his feet, tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth. "Whats does yous likes to wears on a lazy days?" He wondered aloud. He frowned at the choices. There wasn't any choice for jeans and a t-shirt.

He went ahead and picked the shorts and crop top.

He continued through the quiz, picking the cuter flowy outfits. His favorites had to be the ones with floral patterns and golden accessories that had the same shine as Skwisgaar's hair. "Danas?" He called out again.

She poked out her head again, this time hands free.

He pointed to the result page. "Dos yous know lolitas?"

She leaned against the wall as she raised an eyebrow. Why? She signed.

"I tooks this quiz to tells me my style." He held the magazine out to her with the pages splayed open. "It says I woulds like lolitas, buts I nevers heards of lolitas."

She didn't respond but only gestured for him to follow her.

He got to his feet and chased after her as she walked towards the back of her apartment. She had converted her spare bedroom to act as her creative space away from her office. She opened the door for him and he rushed for her office chair, giggling as it spun.

Dana chuckled at his antics as she grabbed a pink binder from the bookshelf in the corner. She set it down on the desk before sitting on the corner. Okay. Lolita is a fashion subculture coming from Japan. It's based on Victorian porcelain dolls like the ones Abby likes to collect. I have a couple examples in this binder.

He flipped it open excitedly, flipping through the pages with a big smile. "So manys of these are so prettys!" He exclaimed happily. He stopped when he saw a long sleeved black dress with a white frilled collar and giggled. "It looks likes Nathans."

She giggled and nodded in agreement.

He stopped again at a pale pink dress. It came to the model's ankles and was cinched around her waist by a baby pink ribbon. Bright pink flower bouquets dotted the dress. "This is beautifuls!"

Dana nodded proudly with her chest puffed up with pride.

Toki glanced up at her from the corner of his eyes then back down to the picture. His finger traced the body of the skirt. "Danas..." He paused when he felt her eyes on him, his face flushing a dark shade of pink. "Dos...Do yous thinks I can be prettys too?" He chickened out of his original question, fidgeting in the seat.

Dana cupped his jaw in her hands, startling him as she tilted his face left and then right. Pushing his hair back, she tilted his face upwards with a critical eye. With a hum, she pursed her lips to the side before grabbing a spare notebook and a marker from the cup on her desk.

"Um... Danas?"

She ignored him as she started to scribble down notes and scratchy sketches.

"Danas?"

She was completely removed from the world as black marker flew across the page.

He went back to flipping through the binder until she returned to Earth.

-------------

It only took a few minutes before she shook his shoulder, a wild look in her eye. She flipped the page, pointing to the sentence written in marker: Would you be willing to model for me?

"Models?! Me?!" He turned pink. "Reallys?! Not Skwisgaar or Akittys?!"

She rolled her eyes and poked his nose. You, stupid.

His eyes watered and he grinned widely. "Yous really means it? Not a jokes like Moidaface?"

She nodded again, flipping back to her original page and passed it to him. He tried to read her rushed handwriting and sketching but the letters just swam in front of his eyes.

"Uh... that's goods! We cans do this! But only if yous makes me prettys!"

She shot him an offended look as she took out her phone, raising her nose to look down at him. Who do you think I am?

------------------

Toki kicked his feet excitedly as Dana filed his bitten nails. She had made two short texts for Akita and Noni to meet up with them to help with preparing Toki for his brand new look.

She yanked on his hand when he was busy daydreaming. I told you to stop biting your nails, silly. She scolded with a gentle smile.

He smiled sheepishly. "I amnest helps it." He muttered as she painted a clear base coat onto his nails. She held up a few bottles of nail polish for him to choose.

He pointed to the baby blue and she started to paint his nails as they sat in silence.

Dana was busy fanning his nails dry when they heard the main door open.

"Dana? Toki? Where are you two?" Akita called out as he stepped inside with Noni followed shortly behind him.

"We ams here!" He squirmed excitedly and Dana gently smacked his knee to keep him from ruining his nails. "Sorrys." He apologized.

Noni stepped into the office first, ducking their head to get their massive frame through the doorway. "Hello Toki. Dana."

"Hellos, Noni!"

Dana grinned widely and waved. Her smile widened as Noni stepped closer to bonk their forehead against hers.

Akita waltzed into the office after Noni, carrying four large plastic bags. "D, you owe me big time for the amount of running around we did." He complained as he set them down by her desk.

Noni laughed. "It wasn't that bad." They protested while Dana waved off his protest.

Akita huffed. "Says you. You could carry a mountain and not complain about it." He ran his hand through Toki's hair. "And how's it going, Toki?" His face made a weird twitch when he encountered a greasy knot in the rhythm guitarist's hair.

"It ams goods! Danas did my nails!" He lifted his hands to show off his brand new baby blue nails.

"Very pretty." Akita complimented as he tried to wipe his hand discreetly on his skirt. He was incredibly thankful he went with a black skirt rather than a white one.

Noni grabbed his hand which was engulfed in their wide palm. "It's a good color for you." They smiled softly while Dana ignored all three of them in favor of digging through the bags.

Toki nodded as he beamed. "I loves thems! Danas says I gets to be prettys!"

"And you will. You've got the best makeup artist in the business and two people with incredible fashion sense in your corner." Akita smirked as he flipped his hair over his shoulder dramatically.

Toki giggled at the theatrics. "I knows." He reassured the blond before Dana tapped his shoulder. He looked over at her to see Noni with dresses draped over their arms. I need you to pick the dresses that speak to you.

"H-Huh? I thoughts yous was gonna choose."

She shook her head. The best outfits come from the heart. Now. She pulled him onto his feet in a surprise feat of strength. Choose.

He stumbled onto his feet and looked at the options with a frown. He didn't know what to choose. They all looked so beautiful...

"Um..." He grabbed the hem of a white lacy dress. "This ones?"

Are you telling me or are you asking me.

He sighed dramatically, letting his head fall against Noni's chest. "I dunnos! They ams all beautifuls!"

Noni patted his head gently to console him.

Dana frowned at him before disappearing to the main room and reappearing again. She had the magazine from earlier in her hands, flipping through his answers. She glanced over at the dresses and narrowed it down to two dresses.

His first option was a white dress with a high collar and capped sleeves. Daisies swirled around the hem of the skirt and two daisy shaped buttons by the collar. The other was a pink dress with green ribbons along the bodice and hem. The puffy sleeves were cinched with a green bow.

He pointed to the daisy dress and Dana sent him out of the room to get dressed. He walked across the hall to her bedroom.

"Hey!"

He turned around and barely caught the sheer white stockings Akita threw at him. "Thanks, Akittys!"

Akita waved him off. "Yes. Yes. Go get changed."

-----------

Toki came back to the room with a skip in his step. The stockings made his feet slick and he slid down the wooden floor towards the office. He came to a sliding halt, colliding with the door frame with a giggle.

The three of them startled. Akita dropped his lipstick after smearing half of it across his cheek. Dana dropped her bottle of primer with a scream. Noni merely jumped but continued to sort through the necklace collection Dana had stored away.

"Are you trying to kill us?!" Akita screeched alongside Dana's signing.

Toki couldn't help but giggle again at the exaggerated red smear on Akita's cheek and Dana's angry flush. "Sorrys, sorrys!" He didn't sound sorry at all as he bounced into the room. He stopped to twirl in front of them, his skirt flaring out from his waist. "Buts whats do yous thinks?"

The cousins heaved a heavy sigh while Noni laughed. "You look lovely, Toki!" Noni complimented before patting his head.

"Tank yous!"

"I have to admit, you look better than I thought." Akita grinned and patted the navy chair again. "Now come sit so we can finish."

Dana agreed as she opened up her makeup box.

----------------

Akita started with his hair, fussing with it and untangling the hidden knots while Dana patted down his face with a slightly tacky primer. "You want braids, a bun or a ponytail?" Akita asked as he ran his hands through Toki's hair.

"Braids! The special braids like Vikings have!" Toki requested while Dana tried to match his skin to the foundation in her collection.

Akita laughed and started to section off his hair for braids. "Hey, Dana. Where do you have those ribbons?"

There should be some in that box over by the bookshelf. She waved for Noni's attention with a little grunt.

"Yes?" They asked, holding up a series of necklaces for the cousins to choose.

"Pass that gold one with the flower pendant that has three rhinestone in the middle."

Noni nodded and tossed it at him. Dana waved for their attention again with a little whistle. "Sorry, Dana. What did you need?"

The box by the bookshelf. I should have some ribbons in there for Toki's hair.

"Grab two. I don't think I'll need more." Akita commented while he busied himself with braiding Toki's hair.

And in blue to match his nails! Dana added with an excited smile before returning to blending the foundation into his skin.

Toki squirmed in his seat with a laugh as the beauty blender tickled his nose. Dana swatted his shoulder gently as a reprimand to stay still.

She moved on to concealer next, swiping it under his eyes and along his T-zone.

Akita finished Toki's braid with a flourish and leaned back to watch Noni and Dana work. The large Samoan was busy rummaging through the bags and Dana's jewelry with a concentrated look on their face. Dana had grabbed a setting powder which caused both her and Toki to sneeze as she opened it.

Akita laughed at their scrunched faces and Noni chuckled at their high pitched sneezes. Dana shot both of them a dirty look that was ruined by the wry smile as she set Toki's face with the cotton candy scented powder.

Dana set the powder away and went for the eyeliner next, opting for a soft brown that complimented his eyes. Toki's eyes watered as he tried not to blink while Dana drew on his eyelid. He blinked rapidly when she finished his cat eyeliner.

Akita whistled as he tossed a lip gloss in her direction. She caught it after a quick fumble, glaring at him playfully. She opened it and nodded her approval at the peachy pink tone.

Noni finally came over and paused to coo over his appearance. "You look adorable, Toki! Like a little doll!" They went to pinch his cheek and Dana swatted their side with a warning hiss. "Sorry, sorry!" They laughed before settling on putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You truly do look good, Toki."

He flushed under their stare. "Thanks." He murmured shyly as Dana started to color his face with bronzer and blush.

Noni nodded and patted the top of his head before stepping behind him. They placed the necklace around his neck with the small pendant settling in the hollow of his collarbone.

Almost immediately, his hand shot up to touch the delicate pendant. His eyes were starting to water again as he felt a little overwhelmed by everyone's niceness.

Dana squeaked when she saw him starting to cry and gestured wildly for Akita to grab a tissue.

Akita hopped into action, tilting his head back and soaking his tears with the corner of a tissue before any major damage was done to Dana's work. "Oh, Toki." He muttered softly before kissing the top of his head.

Toki floundered, blubbering over his words as he clutched the front of Akita's blouse. Akita gently patted the top of his head while Noni rubbed his back. "It's okay. We've got you."

Yeah, we're here for you. Dana signed after putting down the palette.

Toki let out a low whine and went to bury his face in Akita's chest only to be stopped by two sets of hands.

"Nope. I'm not getting makeup on my shirt and Dana might kill you if you ruin it any further." Akita teased as he pushed Toki's head back.

--------------

Dana, Akita and Noni stepped back from Toki. The three of them rubbed their chins as they looked him over from top to bottom.

Toki tried not to squirm in place, fiddling with the clip on daisy earrings Noni had put on his ears. He felt beautiful. Gorgeous even.

Noni was the first to break composure, a wide smile on their face. "You are beautiful, Toki!" They scooped him up against their chest as he laughed.

"Cans I sees? Please?"

Dana held up a mirror and he gasped, cradling it gently between his hands. "Danas! Akittys! Nonis! I looks so prettys! I ams so beautyful!" He squealed, jumping up and down.

Akita laughed as he pressed excited kisses to their cheeks, then at Dana's face as she winced at the tacky stick of the lip gloss on her skin. She started to scold him in sign language faster than he could translate.

"Dana. Dana. Calm down." He put a hand on her shoulder while Noni retrieved his lip gloss. "Do a quick retouch Toki."

Toki applied another swipe of lip gloss with a beaming smile. "I gottas show everyones! Ams yous all coming?"

"Oh. I'll go with you." Noni grabbed their bag from behind Dana's desk. "I told Billy I'd swing by once I was done with Akita."

"Akittys? Danas?"

The cousins shook their heads. "We might stop by later but we need to clean up right now." Akita explained while Dana started to put away her makeup collection into its box.

"Okays! Sees yous later!"

---------------

Toki ran into Mordhaus, lifting his skirt. Noni trailed behind him as he kept stopping whenever a Klokateer complimented the guitarist's new look. He accepted the compliments with a giggle before pulling Noni closer to compliment their skills.

Noni only flushed and insisted Akita and Dana did the work; they were merely an assistant but Toki refused to let them discredit the work they put in.

The duo finally made it to the den. Nathan and Pickles were splayed out on the couch with Pickles' legs half dangling off the vocalist's lap. Nathan had one big hand on Pickles' leg while Pickles drank from a bottle of whiskey with the Dethklok Minute on as background noise.

Murderface was in the hot tub with a beer before quickly clambering out when he saw Noni. "Hey babe." He sauntered over to them, waiting for Noni to lift their arm so he could place an arm around their waist. His fingers barely touched their other side. Noni kissed the top of his head. "Hello, honey."

Murderface looked over at Toki. "Akita and Dana get a hold of you? You look like a panschy."

Noni gently smacked him, shooting him a dirty look. "No, he looks lovely." They insisted.

Nathan glanced over his shoulder as he sat up from his slouch. "You do look nice, Toki."

Toki beamed widely at both Noni and Nathan. "Tanks! I wannas show Skwisgaar my prettys new dress."

Pickles sat up to look over the back of the couch. "Oh... Akita an' Dana gave you a makeover, huh?"

Toki nodded. "Ands Nonis too. Dey helps make me prettys!"

"Looks good on you, dood. Matches yer personality." Pickles winced as Toki planted a gooey glossy kiss to his freckled cheek. "TOKI!" He wiped at the sticky patch of skin.

Toki giggled and laughed as he dodged the swipe Pickles sent his way.

Noni reached into their bag and passed Pickles a tissue before he could wipe his hand onto Nathan's t-shirt. "Here, Pickles."

"Thanks." He wiped the lip gloss from his skin before slouching over Nathan's lap. Nathan patted his back before returning his attention to the TV.

"I ams gonnas look for Skwisggar." He slipped from the room without drawing attention from any of the couples.

-------------

He wandered down the hallway. "Skwisgaar!" He shouted, cupping his hand around his mouth. "Skwisgaaar!" He pouted and crossed his arms when he couldn't find the lead guitarist in the sound booth or any of his usual hiding spots.

He opened his mouth to shout again when Skwisgaar stumbled out of his room, eyes squinting and hair a rumpled mess. "Whats dos yous wants, Toki!" He shouted, rubbing furiously at his eyes.

Toki perked up, his giddiness returning. "Skwisgaar! Looks! Akittys, Nonis and Danas gaves me a makeovers!" He twirled in place, letting his skirt flare out.

Skwisgaar's frown was quickly replaced with a flirtatious smile. "Ands whats a prettys ladies yous makes."

Toki blinked. "Uh... thank yous?"

Skwisgaar moved in closer, toying with the end of one of Toki's braids. "I amnest seens someones so lovelies in a longs times."

Toki giggled nervously, his face turning pink under Skwisgaar's predatory gaze. He twisted the hem of his dress around his fingers. "I-I ams glads yous likes it." He murmured shyly as he gazed at the floor.

Skwisgaar smiled slyly, wrapping an arm around Toki's waist. He pressed a kiss by Toki's ear. "I dos likes it. But I tinks it would looks betters on de floors of my room." He whispered hoarsely into the shorter man's ear.

Toki went from pink to bright red with a soft whine escaping him. "O-Okays." He mumbled as Skwisgaar pulled him into his room.

[dethshit]

CFO is Really Old

Day 3: Werewolves or Vampires

These are shorts taken from an AU where CFO is old as shit and he doesn't understand technology.

Charles glared at the DVD player in front of him, trying to remember how to use it. He turned his head to glare at the opened DVD case then back to the DVD player.

Akita had insisted they watch Nosferatu, claiming it was for Halloween but Charles knew it was so he could make fun of him.

He delicately picked up the DVD as it snapped free from its plastic prison. The disc had no image so he couldn't use that as a guide. He squinted at the tiny writing as he tried to decipher which side was supposed to go up.

He took a chance and set the disc inside. He closed the DVD player and grabbed the remote in anticipation.

But nothing happened.

The blue screen loudly declaring BLU-RAY DVD PLAYER didn't move, continuing to drone the bland theme music. He scowled and opened the DVD player. He flipped over the disc and shut it again.

But the blue screen still remained and his lips pressed into a thin line. His left eye twitched and he resisted the urge to bare his fangs at the stupid piece of technology.

He tried flipping the disc again and nothing happened. He tried to turn it off and on. He checked the plug but couldn't find any frays.

He ran his hands through his hair as the droning theme slowly got on his nerves. "I'M OVER ONE THOUSAND YEARS OLD, CUT ME SOME SLACK YOU TERRIBLE-"

"Charles, are you having trouble with the DVD player?" Akita asked as he barely hid his amusement, laughter bubbling in his voice. He was carrying a popcorn bowl in one hand and two beers in the other.

Charles stiffened as he turned bright red, the blood he had recently consumed rushing to his face. "N-No. Of course not. Everything is in order." He lied through his teeth.

Akita set the bowl down on the table and threw one of the beers at him before going to the DVD player. He readjusted the disc, shut the player door and hit play on the remote. Almost immediately, the commercials started to play.

Charles stared at him dumbfounded. "How did you... What-" He exhaled heavily through his nose as he rubbed his face.

Akita laughed low in his throat, wrapping his arms around the vampire and kissing his cheek. "Come on, rakas. You can show off your technical prowess another day." He teased.

-------------------

Charles dipped his quill into the ink well on his desk to continue working on the contract deal with BLUD ORANGE Energy Drink. The company wanted to use Bloodrocuted and get the band to do a commercial or two.

Akita opened the door to his office with a tray in his hand and Charles glanced over at him. "Something the matter, darling?" Charles asked as he set the quill down.

Akita grinned at him. "Dinner time, rakas." He said as he set the tray down on an empty corner of Charles' desk. Dinner (for the humans) was a pot roast with roasted potatoes and carrots. Brown gravy covered the meat and Charles couldn't deny that it smelled good.

"Jean-Pierre did well." He commented as he took the blood bag from the tray.

"Nah, Noni and I made it. We heard about this..." He waved a hand over his plate. "Dish from Nathan and Pickles. We wanted to try it out."

Charles raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything further as he pierced the bag with his elongated canines. He closed his eyes in satisfaction. B-negative. Akita knew him well.

Akita took a bite of his potatoes as he rummaged through some of the piles of papers on his desk, glancing at the quill as he read over the looping calligraphy. "Charlie baby... don't take this wrong because your handwriting is beautiful but you know you can use a computer to keep all these documents in order, right? You don't have to handwrite everything."

Charles blinked at him, removing his fangs from the bag. "Do you mean one of those fancy typewriters with the screen?"

Akita stared at him, not blinking. "...Charles."

"What?"

Akita put his fork down and put his head in his hands. Before Charles could question him, his shoulders started shaking as he started to laugh. "Oh my God, you're so old." He howled out with laughter, tears in his eyes.

Charles frowned. "Akita, you knew this when we started our relationship."

Akita continued laughing, tears escaping and running down his face in black lines. "Fuck me, of course you make me laugh this hard on the day I run out of waterproof mascara!" He giggled as he came down from his hysterical high, wiping the black tears.

"You deserve it." Charles said stiffly.

Akita clicked his tongue and leaned forward, kissing his cheek. A burgundy imprint was left on his cheek and Charles rubbed at it. "Oh stop it. You know I love you, you old man." Akita kissed his cheek again.

Charles stared at him a moment before cracking a small smile. "I love you too. You fucking whippersnapper."

He barely ducked Akita's playful swipe.

-------------------

Charles dug through his old storage unit. It had to be here. It wasn't in his closet. It wasn't in his den. He checked everywhere he could have hidden his favorite gramophone so it had to be here.

His hand knocked the silver handle slightly and the old record player spat out a few irregular notes. He grinned widely and pulled it up from the mess. The wood was showing its age, the dark wood going light and the silver handle was tarnished.

He checked for cracks or water damage. Finding none, he grinned widely. A little elbow grease would bring the gramophone back to its former glory.

----------------

He carried his record player into the bedroom. It had taken some time to restore it but it was well worth it.

He set a record into the turntable and gently set the needle into the groove of the disc. He turned the shiny new handle, watching the disc turn. There was a simple joy at watching a turntable work. Granted, part of it was that he knew how to work a turntable. Not like Pickles' confounded CDs or those accursed cassette players.

Soon enough, Waltz of the Flowers twinkled softly with the warm notes of the gramophone. He hummed alongside it as he closed his eyes. He could remember the first time he had ever seen The Nutcracker. He was around 800 years old at the time. The theater had been very dark, hiding his hungry eyes that reflected light and his elongated teeth as he stalked his prey. But before he could strike, the second act had started. The music had made him stop. His canines receded into his mouth as he was transfixed by the music.

The following day, he went to see the entire show, ignoring the hunger pains.

He opened his eyes and smiled softly. He lifted the needle and reset the vinyl.

-----------

"So what is it that you wanted to show me?" Akita asked as Charles led him into their bedroom by the hand, Akita's fingers resting delicately on top of his.

Charles smiled as he opened the door. "Can't I ask for a dance?"

Akita laughed and squeezed his fingers. "It might cost you." He teased, eyelids lowering playfully.

Charles chuckled before winding the gramophone. Waltz of the Flowers started once again. He turned to Akita and bowed from his waist. He held out his hand. "May I?"

Akita grinned and took his hand. He was pulled close to the shorter man's chest. Charles placed one hand onto Akita's waist while the blonde placed a hand on his shoulder. Charles led them as they danced along with the music, occasionally stepping on Akita's feet accidentally.

"I'm glad we didn't put on shoes. I'd have no more toes then." Akita giggled as Charles' face turned a light shade of pink.

"How rude." Charles huffed as they continued their dance waltzing around their room. He pressed his cheek against Akita's shoulder as the music slowed, the two of them swaying even when the music came to a stop.

Akita pressed a kiss to his forehead and the two winced as the record player let out a shrill noise as the needle skipped over the grooves. Charles stopped the needle and lifted the arm.

"Charlie, you know there's an easier way to play music now, right?"

Charles turned and raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

Akita winked at him as he pulled his phone from the hidden pocket in his skirt. He opened Spotify while glancing at Charles with a smile. He searched for the soundtrack to The Nutcracker and played Waltz of the Flowers.

Charles jumped back, eyes going wide behind his glasses. "How is that small box making music?!"

He slowly stepped closer once he overcame his shock to poke the back of Akita's phone.

Akita laughed and pulled on his arm to join him at the base of the bed. "I'll show you."

-----------------

"So why do you only drink from blood bags?" Akita asked as he laid next to him, eyes half lidded as he fought to stay awake.

Charles removed his teeth from the plastic bag. "Well, it's simply easier and far less messy. They're more readily available than trying to hunt someone down."

Akita hummed as he nuzzled Charles' side. Charles' body was slowly warming up as the blood ran through his veins and arteries. "So when was the last time you bit someone?"

Charles ran a hand through the platinum blonde locks as he thought it over. "Oh, it must have been a good... three to four hundred years ago." He set the empty bag down. "It got easier maybe a hundred years ago or so when you humans started collecting blood."

Akita sat up, leaning forward. "Well... do you wanna try it again?"

Charles was glad he set the blood bag down for he was certain it would have slipped from his lax fingers. "...What?"

"Biting humans. I'd let you bite my neck. You can't turn me in one bite, right?"

"Well...no. I would have to drink all the blood from your system and replace it with venom, letting it circulate in your body. It takes several days and it can be quite painful if done incorrectly." He subconsciously rubbed the bite marks by his collar bone.

Akita shrugged his shoulders. "Well, there you go." He lifted his pajama shirt only to be stopped by Charles' cold fingers.

"I-I don't think we should. I don't have the same level of self control anymore." He averted his eyes from the tantalizing pale skin, his mouth going dry. His canines elongated as if he hadn't eaten in days. Venom filled his mouth and he swallowed roughly.

Akita smiled and kissed the tip of his fang where it was starting to peek. "I trust you not to hurt me." He pulled away and took off his pajama shirt.

Charles swallowed another mouthful of venom and leaned forward to cup Akita's face. "This is a dangerous idea, darling." He said hoarsely.

Akita grinned at him before leaning forward to kiss him, one hand holding his right wrist gently. He ignored the copper taste on Charles' lips as he carefully continued his soft kisses, wary of the vampire's fangs. "Honestly, Charlie. It's really okay." He murmured between kisses.

Charles grinned, flashing his fangs. He ran his fingers through Akita's hair as he kissed back. "You're either really brave or really stupid."

Akita rolled his eyes with a fond smile as he pulled away. "Wow, okay. I love you too." He pressed a kiss to the tip of Charles' nose.

Charles shook his head with a small smile of his own before kissing a path down to the junction between Akita's neck and shoulder. "Last chance." He whispered, the tips of his fangs tickling the skin.

Akita rolled his eyes again and gripped the back of his head. He pushed Charles' head forward with his fingers intertwined in the brown hair. "Do it, you big baby."

Charles closed his eyes as his fangs pierced the skin. His senses were overloaded. It had been so long since he drank fresh blood. Akita's warm body pressed against his, the soft smell of soap on Akita's skin, the warm metallic tang that lacked the plastic aftertaste of a blood bag, the gentle way Akita's breath hitched. He could feel Akita's fingers curl gently around his shoulders and he was hyper aware of the human's touch.

His body felt different. He couldn't remember the last time he felt his heart beat this fast. He finally pulled away, licking the droplets that escaped. Blood colored his cheeks and nose. His fingers were warm now.

Akita grinned at him, a little paler now and his eyes slightly glossy.

"You should have stopped me!" Charles scolded as Akita leaned back.

The blonde waved him off. "'M fine. 'M fine. Just a little dizzy."

Charles got to his feet. "You need foods high in iron. And maybe something sweet I suppose."

Akita nodded sleepily, his chin touching his chest. "Whatever you say, rakas." He yawned.

Charles shook his shoulder. "Darling, don't fall asleep."

Akita groaned and rubbed his face. "But Charlie, I'm sleepy." He whined as Charles shook him again when his eyes closed.

Charles sighed and lifted him up.

"Oh... we should take advantage of this..." He groaned as his head spun. "M-Maybe another time though.."

Charles shook his head. "You can think of sex at a time like this? You amaze me."

Akita cackled, his eyes momentarily going cross eyed. "I love you too." He clung to Charles' neck as the vampire carried him to the kitchen.

[dethshit]

Movie Night

Day 1 - Favorite Character or Favorite OTP

Pickles tossed the DVD case in the air in time to the beat of his footsteps as he walked to Nathan's room. The lead singer had promised a movie night for just the two of them.

No Offdensen. No Murderface. No Skwisgaar and definitely no Toki.

With Halloween around the corner, Pickles had decided to treat his partner to one of his favorite scary movies: The Evil Dead.

He knocked twice on the black door. "NATE, OPEN YER FOCKIN' DOOR." He howled over the music blasting from the room.

The music paused and the door slid open just enough for the drummer to slip through. He grumbled as he squeezed through, his belt buckle catching the edge of the door.

Nathan looked up when he heard Pickles' quiet cursing. "What'd you pick?"

Pickles tossed the DVD case at him while unhooking his belt.

Nathan caught it in one big hand before looking at it with a small grin. "Thought you hated horror movies."

"I don't hate 'em, just don't care for 'em. But it's one of yer favorites." Pickles shrugged as pink dusted his cheekbones, bringing out his freckles.

Nathan glanced around despite the two of them being the only ones in the room before darting forward and placing a chaste peck onto the drummer's lips. "Thanks." He murmured softly.

Pickles turned red and ducked his head, pushing past Nathan to sit on the bed. "C'mon, dood. Put the movie on, you sap." He grumbled playfully.

Nathan chuckled deep in his chest, his own face going warm. He turned on the DVD player as Pickles got comfy by the headboard. He skipped past the commercials and hit play before moving to sit beside Pickles.

Pickles was busy cuddling a pillow, eyes already half closed with a blunt glowing softly which he offered once Nathan was comfortable.

Nathan took the blunt between his fingers and took a hit as the opening credits started. "Thanks." He coughed out as smoke escaped his nostrils.

Pickles snickered and leaned against Nathan's arm with a fond smile as the main characters made it to the cabin in the woods. "This is nice." He murmured.

Nathan nodded as he lifted his arm to let Pickles cuddle against his side. He pressed a kiss to the top of Pickles' head. "Yeah." He agreed as he got enveloped into the world of Evil Dead.

[dethshit]

Hung Where You Can See

Dec 14th: Kissing Under The MIstletoe

It all started out as a harmless prank.

Murderface was dead set on getting a kiss from someone this Christmas. He was getting tired of being considered the least desirable member of Dethklok. There had been a new publication ranking the band. Skwisgaar (of course) took number one followed by Nathan. Pickles and Toki were tied and he was placed dead last.

He was gonna get a kiss one way or another at the Christmas party, even if it was just a pity smooch from a Klokateer.

He’d take it.

So he did what any rational person would do: he covered the entire ceiling of Mordhaus in mistletoe.

Some of it was absolutely nauseating to look at. He had to clear out several stores and he ended up with many that had mounds of glitter. It trickled down like fashionable dandruff. He had the entire rainbow as well in every color imaginable. The traditional red and green ones made their presence known and he secretly hoped that he would be kissed under one of those instead of the neon colored greens, blues, pinks and golds.

He stepped out to the dining room, carefully plotting his course to avoid any unwanted kisses. He made it to the table safe and sat down to enjoy the breakfast (or what constituted for a breakfast time) Jean-Pierre had made.

“What the fuck is all of this?” Nathan growled, poking at a low hanging glittery one. His scowl deepened as it sprinkled glitter onto his shirt.

“Sss mistletoe.” Pickles slurred, tequila bottle in hand.

Toki pulled one down from the ceiling and examined the silvery leaves. “What ams mistletoe?” He asked as he pulled at the fake berries in the center of the leaves.

“Ifs yous get caughts underneaths it, yous has to kiss de others persons.” Skwisgaar snickered, Pickles cackling quietly under his breath.

“Yous have to?” Toki looked apprehensive and he threw it away as if he had been burned.

“Yeeep. Dat’s the law, dood.” Pickles said, taking another drink from his bottle.

Toki made a face before leaning forward and kissing Skwisgaar.

“WHATS DE FUCK?!” The lead guitarist screeched, rubbing at his mouth. Toki pointed at the ceiling where the two had been caught under a bright pink mistletoe. “Pickle said it ams the law.” Skwisgaar recoiled away. “He amnest serious!”

Pickles laughed loudly, leaning against Nathan’s arm only to feel the man stiffen. “What’s wrong with y-” His question died on his lips as he followed Nathan’s dark scowl to the clump of golden mistletoe above their heads. Pickles shrugged and pulled on Nathan’s shirt, landing a long kiss on the vocalist’s lips.

Nathan jumped back as if Pickles electrocuted him and the ginger only grinned lazily. He gave a halfhearted shrug. “Said it was law, dood.”

The rest of the day was spent plotting routes around the mistletoe and awkward kisses shared between the band.

So far, Murderface had gotten a total of zero.

Pickles didn’t care about the mistletoe and had gotten a number of kisses from giggling Klokateers and groaning bandmates.

Nathan had managed to only get a handful, mostly from Pickles who kept running into him.

Skwisgaar openly took any kisses from the Klokateers but avoided his fellow bandmates like the plague to avoid the breakfast fiasco.

Toki also had gotten a fair number, blushing and giggling like an idiot whenever he had to share a kiss with someone.

Offdensen had taken one look at the ceiling and refused to leave his office afterwards, locking the door.

Murderface tried to be wherever people were, trying to get any form of kiss but it seemed they knew his plan to get a kiss at the Christmas party.

The room was full of people, kisses and giggles being shared liberally.

Murderface was the only exception, a cup of heavily spiked eggnog (courtesy of Pickles) was his only companion. He took a long drink and sighed, resting his head on the cheap red table cloth. The plastic felt warm and it smelled like Play-Doh.  

“U-Um. Excuse me?” A hand gently tapped his shoulder and he jumped back in his seat. The plastic had stuck to his forehead and he swore as he struggled to rip the plastic off. His eggnog had spilled into his lap and now his pants smelled like spices, custard and booze.

“Oh my!” Gentle hands helped pry the plastic off his forehead and they passed him a handful of napkins. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” His glare softened as he stared into soft downturned chocolate eyes. The person shifted, looking away from him with a soft blush showing through their tan skin.

They towered him and he felt like a little kid next to them. They were fucking huge. They were built like a bodybuilder with broad shoulders and a wide torso that didn’t reveal if they were a man or a woman. They had some fat around their middle, giving them a nice softness that followed down their thighs and ass.

They could easily snap him in two if they wanted to and he was absolutely gobsmacked.

They shifted again, holding out another handful of napkins in their hand. “You might want to clean that before it makes your pants sticky.” They advised quietly.

He was too busy trying to place their accent. They sounded...exotic. Like they were from Asia but they didn’t look like any Asian person Murderface had ever met. His brain raced, going through his limited human interactions. Maybe from an island? That was the next best thing he could think of.

“A-Are you...okay? Do you need help?”

He snapped out of his thoughts and snatched the napkins out of the offered hand, blushing furiously. “Fine, juscht fine.” Their face fell and he kicked himself. “...thanksch a lot.”

They offered him a small smile, the white teeth a contrast to the tan skin. “Of course.”

He patted the front of his jeans awkwardly, grateful he hadn’t gone with his usual shorts. “S-Scho uh...you with the Klokateers?”

They shook their wide head. “No, I was here with my friend but he said something about having to make a special appointment? I have no idea what that means but, knowing him, I really don’t want to know.”

Murderface chuckled. It sounded a lot like Skwisgaar and his ‘appointments’ with his gross grandma fetish. “Sounds like he’s gonna get laid.”

They turned light pink and laughed, their whole frame shaking and Murderface was frozen in place by the sound. They were glowing, practically radiating pure joy. “You are probably right! I can’t believe it took me this long to get what he meant!” They wiped the corner of their eye where a tear had leaked.

Murderface grinned, his confidence growing. His eyes darted above their heads and he mentally screamed in joy.

A ball of mistletoe was over their head, the little white berries winking slyly at him in the light.

“Well...would you look at that?” He pointed to the ceiling, his grin stretching.

They followed his line of sight and blanched. “O-Oh?”

“Seems we gotta kissch now. It’sch the law, you know.” He quoted Pickles, hoping it would score him at least a peck on the cheek that he could gloat about and take wildly out of proportion.

He closed his eyes and puckered his lips, waiting expectantly.

Five minutes had passed and he cracked open an eye. They were still stuck staring in fear at the bundle of mistletoe. “Uhhh...” He rubbed the back of his neck as he turned bright red.

“Lischten you don’t have to-”

“N-No, I’m sorry. Some...unpleasant memories if you will.” They scratched their cheek, looking away from him. They squeezed their eyes shut and gathered all their courage before bending down and planting a kiss dead center on his lips.

He was frozen, staring wide eyed as thick lips met his own. Their hands were clutching desperately on his biceps and he was certain there was going to be finger shaped bruises.

The kiss went on for a few more seconds before he was let go, the other party hiding their face. “I...Sorry!” They squeaked out before running away from him, disappearing into the crowd.

Murderface was too stunned to even call out to them.

[dethshit]

Rocking Around The Christmas Tree

Dec 13th: Your Favorite Holiday Tradition Dethklok Style

Toki practically vibrated in place, shifting from foot to foot as he waited impatiently for everyone to come into the living room of Mordhaus. It had taken him hours, hell, days of begging, pleading, whining and complaining to anyone within earshot but he finally got his wish. 

He was going to decorate the massive Christmas tree he had pestered Offdensen into buying with his family. 

The massive evergreen tree smelled of artificial pine and stood tall, so very regal despite the macabre décor. It was custom made and probably cost more money than most people could dream of touching. It was bolted down to the floor by an iron base to keep it from wobbling. 

The black tree skirt had been Toki’s personal choice, decorated with white skulls with splatters of red and green glittery pools that looked shockingly close to blood. It wasn’t the only thing he had a hand in. He had helped prepare the massive star to adorn the top of the tree. It was made from stainless steel painted black with fourteen sharp points to symbolize everyone important in his life. There was one for each member of the band (he had reluctantly included himself to make it an even number), one for Murderface’s partner Noni, two for Charles and his partner, three for Abigail and her partners, one for Knubbler, one for Mashed Potato Johnson and even one for Magnus. The center had a red gem that Toki was told was some super expensive ruby from a far off land he never heard of but he loved the shine. He even convinced the creators to put a set of lights around the ruby that would twinkle cheerily. 

He hugged the star tightly, ignoring the bitter cold of the metal and the jab of the ruby against his face and chest. 

“Tokis? What ams yous doings?” He turned to Skwisgaar with a massive smile before running over and grabbing the blonde’s hand. 

“Skwisgaar, yous ams just in times! Theys brought de stars!” He yanked him to the black star, Skwisgaar falling over his feet from the amount of strength Toki used. “Sees? Offdensens lets me makes the stars with the helps of the blacksmiths and the makers and it has a points for everyones!” 

Skwisgaar wrenched his hand away, rubbing his sore wrist as he looked up at the star. “Oh, yeahs?” He asked dryly, bored with no one else around but the hyperactive Norwegian. 

Toki nodded excitedly. “The tops ams Offdensen and to his rights ams Akitas. To his lefts ams Noni. Moidaface ams next to Noni and Dana ams next to Akitas. Abby ams next to Danas and Carmens follows hers. Yous ams next to Moidaface and I ams next to yous! Pickle ams next to me and Nathan is next to Pickle. Knubbler is next to Nathan and Magnus is next to Carmens and the last one ams Mashed Potato Johnson!” He pointed out each individual arm of the 14 pointed star while Skwisgaar rolled his eyes. 

“...Oka- wait. Whys ams I next to Moidaface and yous?” Skwisgaar asked, eyes narrowing. 

Toki shuffled. “...Yous can takes a different points if yous want. You can be nexts to Mashed Potato Johnson?” He offered, hoping not to start a fight. 

“And be nexts to dats psycho Magnus?! Absolutely nots!” Skwisgaar huffed, upturning his nose at the very idea. 

Toki’s smile fell. “...then wheres dos yous want to be?” 

Skwisgaar glared at the shorter man. “Amnest it obvious? I shoulds be at de tops!” 

Toki stomped his foot, not caring how much he was acting like a child. “Nos! It ams for Offdensen! Yous cans have my spots instead!” 

“Of course yous wants my spots! Yous always wants my spots!”

“That amnest even whats we weres talkings about!” 

Their argument escalated until they were screaming in each other’s face, not noticing when the others came into the room. 

“Boys, really?” Offdensen asked, lifting his glasses to rub his face tiredly. Toki quickly shut his mouth, worried that Offdensen would change his mind and have the Klokateers decorate the tree instead. He had gone through so much trouble to pick out all the ornaments and he had a whole plan set up, the likes that would make Offdensen and Abigail proud. 

Skwisgaar scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Dis ams a stupid ideas anyways.” Toki deflated slightly as Skwisgaar tried to leave the room. He was held back by a strong hand. 

He glared indignantly at Nathan. “We said we were gonna do this with Toki so we’re gonna do it.” Nathan mumbled, forcing the blonde back into the room. 

Skwisgaar bristled. “Yous can’ts makes me!” Nathan only frowned at him before turning over to where Offdensen and his boyfriend were busy unpacking some of Toki’s custom ornaments. “HEY AKIT-”

Skwisgaar hurriedly smothered Nathan’s yell, glaring at the lead singer. “Yous bastard!” He hissed. 

“Something wrong, boys?” Akita asked innocently but his eyes said something different. There was a definitive threat in those ice blue eyes that if anyone did anything to ruin the youngest bandmate’s plans, there would be absolute hell to pay. 

“Nothings!” Skwisgaar squeaked, his voice scaling up an octave. Akita narrowed his eyes and he read that there better not be. 

Toki grabbed a green bulb that had been strung with alcohol bottles instead of lights. “Pickle, this ams for yous.” The ginger grabbed the glass and grinned. “Dat’s pretty cool, Toki.” Toki’s face threatened to split with his wide smile before returning to his box. 

He had a black skull with a white Christmas sweater pattern running across it for Nathan. A knife with a bough of holly hanging off of it for Murderface. A palm tree wrapped in string lights for Noni. A makeup kit that lit up for Dana and a dress mannequin that had on a Santa suit for Carmen. Abby had a pair of old school headphones wrapped in ribbon. Offdensen had a computer that had HAPPY HOLIDAYS written across the screen that alternated between green and red. Akita had a golden microphone that sang Christmas carols when a button was pressed on the bottom. He had chosen a festive clown that reminded him a lot of his straw companion from his days in Norway. 

And then there was Skwisgaar. 

He reached into the box, hesitating as he ran a thumb over the cold glass. He startled when he felt a hand gently land on his back. He whirled around and blushed, feeling foolish. 

It was only Akita whose eyes were full of concern. “What’s wrong, Toki? I thought you wanted to do this.” 

He nodded eagerly. “Ands I stils do. I just...” He lifted the box to let Akita see the ornament he had chosen for Skwisgaar. 

It was an exact glass replica of his Gibson Explorer down to the tiniest scratch on the neck. Akita glanced up at him, cocking a blonde eyebrow. He turned redder. “I guess....” He glanced down at his boots. “What ifs he hates it? He hated his points on the stars.” 

Akita held back his soft chuckle to avoid offending Toki. He cupped his cheek, rubbing his cheekbone with his thumb. “Toki...you know he’s going to love it. The damn Swede is a drama queen, that’s all.” 

“SHUTS YOUS FACE YOUS DAMN FINNISH SHIT!” 

Akita let go of Toki’s face, turning around to confront Skwisgaar. “Oh, shut your own ass, you wish Sweden was as great as Finland!” 

“FINLAND AMS A SHITHOLE COUNTRYS!” 

“IT”S THE FUCKING BEST YOU ILLITERATE JACKOFF!” 

Toki smiled faintly at the familiar bickering. While the words were harsh and an outsider might suspect that the two blondes hated each other, there was genuine amusement in Akita’s voice and Skwisgaar’s insults were lacking the usual bite they had when the two opposing Europeans first met. 

Toki walked up to Skwisgaar while Offdensen pulled Akita away to help him untangle the lights much to Akita’s chagrin. “You just had to volunteer for the most difficult part of the job?” Akita asked dryly as he sat down next to an outlet. Offdensen rolled his eyes fondly at the complaint. “Four hands work faster than two.” 

“And six are even better. Hey, Noni! Come help, please!” 

Toki patted Skwisgaar’s shoulder. “U-Uh, Skwisgaar?” The blonde glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “Whats do yous wants?” Toki winced and pulled the ornament from behind his back. “....I gots yous an ornaments too.” 

Skwisgaar was silent and Toki braced himself for the backlash with his eyes screwed shut. All he could hope was that Skwisgaar didn’t throw the precious glass and break it in his tantrum. 

He opened his eyes when he felt the weight lifted off his finger. Skwisgaar was gently cradling the mini guitar as if it was his real one. “...Yous gots dis...for me?” Toki nodded, keeping his gaze on the floor. “I wanteds to get ones for everyones. Yous ams part of everyones, Skwisgaar.” He explained quietly to his boots. 

He missed the way Skwisgaar had covered his mouth with his free hand, eyes starting to turn wet from unshed tears. The blonde quickly blinked away the tears before they fell and he shook away any visible emotion on his face. “It ams okays.” He finally deemed, underplaying how much it meant to him. Most of his Christmases as a kid were spent either in the cold or bouncing from house to house with anyone who would put up with him. The Christmases in the band were usually blurred by alcohol but even then. There was nothing festive about the day until Toki began his quest to make Mordhaus as festive as possible. 

Toki gave a small smile and grabbed his own ornament. It was a mini snow globe where a snowman with his fu manchu was in the middle of a group hug. There was a tall snooty snowman, a shorter one with Pickles’ fiery beard, another with a fierce scowl and the last had Murderface’s mustache. He wanted to add more snowpeople: one with a turquoise pendant around her neck, one with a set of glasses and semi circle green buttons for eyes, one with green robot eyes, an elderly looking snowman with a cane and another with a white and brown goatee. That was without even adding the newest members of his family!

But the man making the ornament begged him to keep the number small, his hand cramping with the amount of detail he was trying to cram on the small snowmen in the snow globe. 

There would be other years and he could add to the ornaments. 

He climbed up the ladder behind Skwisgaar and waited patiently for the taller man to place his ornament near the top of the tree. He placed his own towards the front so that everyone could see his snow globe and grinned happily at the sight below him. 

Noni and Murderface were adjusting some of the lower branches, Noni using their height to place some of the colored balls onto the tree. Murderface made a comment and the tall tanned figure laughed. Abby was sitting between Dana and Carmen as the trio worked on the beaded garland that would wind its way around the tree. It had gotten tangled in its voyage to Mordhaus and Carmen and Abby were talking while Dana nodded or shook her head along with the conversation. Nathan and Pickles were starting to work the lights Akita and Charles had untangled around the tree. Akita and Charles were watching them, Akita waving at Toki when they locked eyes. 

Toki waved back and winced as Skwisgaar pushed on his head. “Comes on ands moves it! I do nots plans to spends all days up heres!” 

-------------------------------

I ended up combining two traditions into a small snippet of a fic. I love decorating the tree with my family and I usually get some ornaments for my friends and I take a long time to pick them out. 

And yes I added my own OCs and their respective ships what you gonna do about it

[dethshit]

Nathan: I bet you couldn't make a sentence without "a".

Abigail: You thought you just did something here, didn't you? Well sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon.

[dethshit]

Okay but if its canon that Skwisgaar, Pickles and Nathan all work on the songs.....does that mean Face Fisted is Skwisgaar's attempt on song writing? With his bandmates' help?

[dethshit]

Offdensen Doesn't Go Out Anymore

CFO: Let me tell you why I don't get invited to parties anymore. It's not because I ramble on about legalities concerning the band or putting the boot medium style to has-been rock and roll clowns. It's because I'm not on Facebook and everyone just assumes that you are. I am so behind on the births, deaths and marriages of my friends that I feel like the time traveler's wife every time I go to a party. "This is Darwin, he's our son. He's 6 now." Fucking...didn't even know you were pregnant.

[dethshit]

Nathan's Opinion on Hoarders

Nathan: We need to lay off hoarders, by the way. I think there's one too many TV shows exposing the horrors of people who like collecting shit. It's their house, let 'em do it.

Naysayer: No, we have to fix them!

Nathan: No you don't. People are fucked up. If they want to climb over a stack of cat shit stained National Geographic magazines from the 1970s to get to the fridge, fucking let 'em. They like it.

Naysayer: Oh, yeah? But it's a mental illness.

Nathan: Yeah, well, maybe. But I would argue it's more insane to film them doing it and then package it like a tacky, microwave meal for one so assholes can sit at home going, "LOOK HOW SHIT THAT PERSON IS! THEY HAVE TOO MANY OF THE SAME THING."

[dethshit]

Post Dethklok

CFO: I don't drink anymore. I used to slam that shit into my face like a weapon, but I quit. And nothing really changed, you know? I didn't notice too many differences between being sober and being a drinker until...the first time I got pulled over by a cop and had to do a random breath test sober. Because my physical and emotional reaction was exactly the same it had always been when I was a drinker, which was, 'AaahfuckI'mfucked,I'mfucked,I'mfucked,I'mfucked,I'mfucked,I'mfucked.'

"Roll down your window please sir."

'IIIIIII'mfucked,I'm fucked,I'm fucked,I'm fucked,I'mfucked.'

"One long breath into the bag please sir."

'NOOOOOOOOOO,I'mfucked,I'mfucked,I'mfucked,I'mfucked *long exhale* I'mfucked,I'mfucked,I'mfucked,I'mfucked.'

"You're free to go mate."

Oh yeah I am and the SENSE OF EUPHORIA I felt was the closest feeling I've had to being drunk since I quit drinking.

[dethshit]

Dethklok follows the Mick Jagger version of writing songs

[dethshit]

Prideklok

I wanted to write cute fluffy gay shit with my man CFO and my woman Abby. So I wrote cute fluffy gay shit with my man CFO and my woman Abby.

Charles nervously adjusted his tie as he checked his reflection in the mirror. The pink and royal blue mixed with the purple stripe along the center of the tie.

It would be the first time in a long, long, long while since he had last attended a pride parade.

The last time was back in his college days before he became the manager for Dethklok and that...

That didn't end well.

A knock at the door pulled him out of the spiral of memories. "Charles, are you ready? The parade is going to start soon."

He glanced up at Akita's reflection in the mirror and smiled. The other man looked like a walking rainbow. He had glitter scattered along his exposed shoulders and in his platinum blonde curls. He had on a rainbow crop top with three quarter sleeves and a pair of sinfully tight blue jeans that hung low on his hips.

Charles smiled softly at the sight of his husband. "You look lovely."

Akita winked at him as he stepped inside, his smile growing soft when he saw the tie. He bent down to close the gap between them and pressed a gentle kiss onto the shorter man's forehead. "You look smart. Are you sure you're not going to want to wear your sweater?"

Charles shook his head. "No, I think I'll be fine like this." He gestured to his white button down and black trousers.

Akita smiled and nodded, sending a fine layer of glitter onto Charles. The brunette huffed and rolled his eyes fondly, dusting off his shirt of golden sparkles.

Akita cackled at his scrunched up nose when the glitter didn't move. "Oh, Charlie baby, you better get ready. We'll both look like Tinker Bell by the time Pride is done."

Charles groaned at the thought, already dreading the inevitable mess.

------------------

Akita led the way through the streets crowded with people, Charles' hand in his. Some were decked out in LGBT clothes like Akita while most others were more casual like Charles.

"Where are they?" Charles asked over the noise, grunting when someone knocked into his shoulder.

Akita glanced over his shoulder and pulled him closer. "They should be around Fifth and Ninth. Or so Dana says." He grumbled under his breath with a scowl.

It was well known in the Kujakissa family that Dana was horrible with directions and should not be left to her own devices, but she wanted to be a gentle lady and pick up her wife from work before Pride.

"Maybe I should contact Abigail?" Charles asked as he pressed closer to Akita to use his height as a shield.

Akita shook his head, showering Charles in glitter again. "No, she wants to do this her way. Besides," He winked at Charles over his shoulder. "I get to spend some time with you without the man children."

Charles huffed through his nose, shaking his head fondly as the tips of his ears tinged pink. "We could've just gone on a date then."

Akita came to a full stop once they reached the edge of the crowd, close to the corner of Fifth and Ninth street. He turned around, arms crossed. "Charles. The last time we tried to do date night, we had to carry Toki home because he was drunk off his ass, call a Klokateer to pick up Nathan and Pickles because they snuck off to a motel room, protect Skwisgaar because he kept flirting with a biker's girlfriend and save Murderface from getting his ass handed to him by the bouncer who heard him being a homophobic douchebag." He ticked each incident off his fingers, raising an unimpressed eyebrow to a very embarrassed Charles.

"I-I'm sure if we explained..." He protested weakly, letting his words die on his tongue when Akita stared him down.

"Neither one of us believe that for a minute, Charles." Akita grumbled, uncrossing his arms to put a hand on his hip as his phone rang. He rolled his eyes when he saw the video caller ID and answered it. "Don't tell me you two are lost."

Dana frowned at him, grunting a negative. She turned the phone slightly to show that both her and Abigail had made it to Fifth and Ninth.

Abigail waved when she saw the blonde, dressed casually. She wore a black t-shirt with a small bi flag over her heart. "Hey Akita! You almost here?" She shouted over the music being played from one of the nearby floats.

Akita nodded, reaching over to take Charles' hand again and intertwining their fingers. "We'll be there soon. We got caught up talking."

Abigail and Dana both shot him a disbelieving look that made Charles blush.

"I'm serious! We weren't fucking in the bathroom. Again."

Dana gagged loudly, retching as she pushed the phone into Abigail's hands so she could be dramatic.

Abigail laughed while Akita rolled his eyes. "Fucking drama queen. Like I haven't caught you getting hot and heavy with your wife before!" He shouted to the phone.

Dana took the phone again, her face bright red from the roots of her curly black hair down to her neck. 'It was one time and we agreed never to talk about it again, you utter bitch! She signed quickly, eyes averting from Abigail who turned a very interesting shade of pink.

Akita rolled his eyes, pulling a silent and slightly mortified Charles behind him.

-------------------

The minute Dana saw her cousin, she stepped forward to punch his bicep hard. The red was still present in her cheeks as she pouted.

Akita hissed and rubbed his bicep. "Don't fucking bruise me. You started it."

Dana groaned, grunting the negative before signing, I did not! It's all your fault!

"How is it MY fault?!"

Charles left the two Europeans to argue as he went to Abigail's side to escape the dramatics.

Abigail was leaning against the wall in her shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Her usual heels had been swapped for a pair of comfortable looking sneakers. "Glad to see you two could make it and represent." She teased, winking as she tapped the bi flag on her shirt.

Charles exhaled sharply through his nose. "I doubt Akita would've missed Pride for the world." He glanced over to his husband, a fond smile on his face.

Abigail had a similar dopey smile on her face as she looked at her wife in bisexual colored galaxy overalls. "Yeah, Dana didn't want to miss it either. Not after last year."

The two office workers shared a grimace over the fiasco that was Dethklok at Pride last year.

"Never, ever again." Charles vowed once again as Abigail nodded in agreement.

-----------------

Akita came back to Charles' side once their argument had fizzled out, wrapping his arms around the shorter man's shoulders with an exaggerated pout on his red lips. "Charlie baby, Dana's so mean to me." He whined, batting his eyes at Charles.

Charles rolled his eyes fondly. "Akita, you're just as mean. If not meaner."

Akita wrinkled his nose at him. "Baby, you're supposed to agree with me, not argue with me."

Charles chuckled and got onto his tiptoes to kiss the pout off Akita's lips.

Dana gagged playfully at them as she pulled Abigail to her side, an arm draped loosely over the shorter woman's shoulders. Abigail placed her head against Dana's shoulder. "Well, are we going to participate or argue on the sidelines like a bunch of losers?" She asked as a group of people waving flags walked passed them, loudly singing to Lady Gaga's Born This Way.

Dana giggled, pulling a neatly folded bisexual flag from the bib pocket of her overalls. She unfolded it to the amazement of the men before handing one corner to Abigail.

Abigail smiled at her before pulling the corner over her shoulder. Dana had the other corner over her shoulder so that the bisexual flag covered both of their backs like a cape. "Come on, slowpokes!" Abigail laughed as the duo joined the crowd.

Charles glanced over at Akita, raising an eyebrow. "I don't suppose you've got a secret flag hidden away like that?"

Akita snorted at him. "Please. I knew you wouldn't want to do something quite that flashy." He pulled two small flags from his back pocket and passed one to Charles.

Charles stared at the fabric, warmth filling his chest and a soft pink dusting his cheekbones. His fingers ran over the black triangle on the left hand side. "Akita..."

Akita smiled softly at him before kissing his cheek. "Come on. Let's join the parade before Dana loses her shit." He held out his hand with a soft smirk.

Charles beamed back at his husband, interlocking their fingers. "You lead." He said softly, holding the demisexual flag tightly in his free hand.

Akita winked at him as they pushed through the crowd where Dana and Abigail were waiting for them, his rainbow flag raised proudly in the air.

---------------------

Aftermath

Charles groaned as he slumped into the seat of the car. He was an absolute mess. There was glitter and confetti in his hair. There was glitter in his clothes. There was glitter in his fucking glasses and he still wasn't sure how that happened.

Pride had been a fun experience, watching Akita dance to the music by other LGBT musicians before getting forced into a dance by a not-so-gentle nudge by Dana that nearly collided him with his husband. But it was kind of worth it to see Akita beam at him before taking his hand and pulling him tight against his chest with a laugh.

He had learned that there were plenty of people on the same spectrum as he was.

He had also learned he wasn't as young as he wanted to be and now he wanted to put on his comfiest sweater and sleep until there was another fire for him to put out that Dethklok started.

Akita slipped into the seat next to him, kissing his cheek gently. "Too much?" He asked softly, rubbing his thigh.

Charles shook his head, trying to hide his exhaustion. "No, I'm fine." He straightened in the seat.

Akita gave him a disbelieving look combined with a raised eyebrow. "...Uh huh." He let it go as he cuddled against Charles' chest, tucking his legs beneath him and letting his eyes fall shut. "Well, I am. We should go home and cuddle. Maybe nap." He fiddled with a button on Charles' shirt, eyes full of mischief.

Charles sighed with a small smile, knowing full well he had been caught.