#destroy what destroys you | jessica jones

[harry-on-broadway]

Sweet

Word Count: 3.4K

***

A red velvet cupcake. That’s how it started.

You were turning five, the first of February, and your teacher had brought cupcakes for you, and the kid in your class who shared your birthday, to have at lunch. Except Jeremy Jones thought it would be funny to push you in the lunchroom, jostling the cupcake out of your hands and onto the ground.

The reaction wasn’t instantaneous, but once the shock of seeing the crisp, white icing covered in dirt wore off, the tears came easily and what had been the best day of your short life had suddenly become the worst thing a five-year-old could imagine.

A small voice interrupted your tears before the teacher on lunch duty could tend to you. “Have some of mine.” Harry, the boy in your class who shared your birthday, held his hand out towards you. His own red velvet dessert unscathed. “Will you sit with me?”

You nodded, tears gradually ceasing as you followed Harry to an empty table, where he pulled the cupcake into two roughly even halves. “Here,” he said, offering you one piece, the noticeably larger one.

“Thank you,” you managed to squeak out.

“It’s OK,” he said, chewing, small crumbs escaping the corner of his mouth. “My mum is making me a cake tonight. I think it’s going to be chocolate. Are you getting a cake?”

“I think so,” you said thoughtfully. “My dad said we’re having a big cake at my party this weekend, but we’ll do a small cake tonight.”

“I think I’m going to your party!” Harry was suddenly even more excited. “It’s roller skating, right?”

You nodded. You’d been begging your parents to let you invite your entire class to a party at the local roller rink for most of the school year and had been over the moon when they finally acquiesced. “It is! And we’re going to have someone do balloon animals too!”

“No way!”

You were pleased that one of your classmates was as happy as you were. “Are you having a party?”

“I am! Mine is on Friday night. We’re going to play games after school and then eat pizza. Are you coming?”

Your own mother hadn’t said anything about a party but you nodded, hoping she’d have the answer when she met you in the pick up line after school.

“Yay!” Harry dove back into his cupcake, fingers sticky with the same frosting that dotted his face.

You all sat next to each other even after the cupcake was gone, Harry prattling on about something you only partially understood, but you appreciated the company which was a great distraction from your own destroyed birthday treat.

That Friday, your dad came home from work early to take you to Harry’s party, where you gave your new friend a Hot Wheel car and an action figure you’d selected at the store after much prodding from your parents. On Saturday, he was at your party, explaining all of the features of the new Barbie he’d picked out for you.

***

In the years that followed, Harry was always the one constant of your school days.

Regardless of whether or not you were in the same class, or boycotting Jessica because she was mean to Hailey, or ignoring Hailey because she was mad at Jessica, Harry was always there. A friendly face at lunch when you needed it, a pal on the playground when no one else wanted to draw with the chalk, and each year, even if you weren’t in the same class, he’d find you on February 1st, and you’d share some sort of sweet treat. A cupcake. A cookie. One year, a pack of gummy bears because both of you had been caught up in the excitement of the assembly the school had scheduled that day.

But things grew more complicated as you grew older.

Thirteen was a tough year. Boy-girl parties were all the rage (as were the hormones) and when you showed up to Harry’s on a Friday, you’d felt shy and nervous and all out of sorts, even though you had no reason to. You couldn’t figure out why until you accidentally stumbled across Harry kissing some girl from the grade above you as a group of rowdy boys cheered them on. You’d left, holding back tears as you called your mother to come and get you right away. The next night was your own girls only sleepover, and when Kara Chapman had asked everyone to name their crush, you said Josh, even though it was the biggest lie you’d ever told.

Fourteen was even tougher. You’d waited in the halls and the schoolyard, trying to catch Harry in a free moment that never materialized. The cookies you’d bought at a bakery that morning, turned to crumbs in the bottom of your bag as you walked home. Fifteen brought rumors of some wild and crazy party that you weren’t invited to, and by sixteen he was gone.

You didn’t think much about him anymore until one night your dad called you into the TV room. He was watching a singing competition show and pointing to the teenage boy on the screen. “Didn’t I take you to his birthday party one year?” he asked. All you could do was nod.

Suddenly, Harry was everywhere. He was no longer your birthday buddy, your cupcake savior, and childhood crush, but the world’s heartthrob. When you walked into the supermarket, his face followed you through the aisles, dotting candy wrappers and magazine covers, toothbrushes and chapstick, every item reminding you of the memories you still held close.

***

It had been Jonathan’s idea to get everyone back together.

After graduation, everyone dispersed. Some had moved to London, others had stayed in town, but for one night everything would be the same as it had been. The back of the pub had been sectioned off, but the velvet rope was more of a suggestion than a dividing line as people flowed in and out freely.

You were standing with Jessica, the one person you regularly kept in touch with, always making time to see her when you were home. You were nursing a beer she had just replenished and talking shit about Jeremy, who was just as much trouble as he had been at age five.

You felt the tap on your shoulder before you heard the voice, low and soft and close to your ear.

“Have any cupcakes lately?”

When you turned around, Harry was standing there, grinning widely with his arms open for a hug.

“Hi,” you said, words muffled by his shoulder. “How have you been?” you asked as he asked you the same question.

“Well,” he said, chuckling. “And you? Are you still around here?”

“No, I moved to London for school and just kind of hung around.”

“No way. I’m in London now too!” The enthusiasm was just the same as it had been when he was five.

“We should meet up sometime,” you said, the words empty knowing that he probably had more important things to do.

“Yeah, I think I owe you a sweet. Or seven,” he added with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of his neck.

For a brief second you were transported back to 2007, to the moment you first knew you were in love with him. “For sure. If you have some free time, let me know.”

“I’m about to have a lot of that,” he said. “We’re, uh, taking a break,” he explained when you looked confused. “The band,” he prompted.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. All things have to end, right? It’s kind of like graduating uni if you think about it.”

You nodded. “Still, it must be bittersweet. Not getting to see people you care about every day.” You tried to keep your voice neutral, so as not to betray all of the feelings that statement held for you.

“It is,” Harry finally said. He cleared his throat. “So, I don’t think I ever actually got your number. Back then.” He held out his phone.

“Oh, right.” You gave him your own device and typed your number into his phone, adding your name and a cupcake emoji to the contact. He smiled when he saw what you had done.

“So, where in London are you?” he asked.

You were about to answer, when two of his buddies came running over, nearly tackling him as he fell into you, beer sloshing over the rim of your glass. Harry mouthed an apology, but his friends steered him away before you could tell him it was OK.

“What was that about?” Jessica asked when she saw you were free again.

“Oh, just catching up with Harry.” You tried to act casual.

“I didn’t realize you all were close.”

There was no judgment in her words, but you felt defensive. “I mean we weren’t best friends or anything but we had the same birthday. He shared his cupcake with me when we were little and it was kind of a tradition for a little while.” You picked at your nail polish. “I’m kind of surprised he remembered me,” you added as an afterthought.

“Well, he couldn’t take his eyes off you,” she whispered.

“Stop it!” You brushed her words off, but replayed the conversation in your mind. Had it been that intense?

“I’m serious! He was laser focused on you. An elephant could have walked through the room and he wouldn’t have noticed. Did you get his number?”

You nodded shyly as Jessica applauded you. You could tell she wanted to ask more questions, but she thankfully opted for discretion as people surged around you, rounding up teams for a game of darts.

When you left, you scanned the crowd for Harry hoping to steal another moment with him but he had disappeared. You called an Uber to head back to your parents’ house, scrolling through your phone during the brief drive. When you couldn’t resist any longer, you opened your contacts, skimming through the listings looking for Harry’s name, praying your exchange with him hadn't been a cruel practical joke.

It only took a couple of minutes until you found it.

He’d saved his number as Harry.

With a cupcake emoji beside it.

***

Following the reunion, you and Harry had grabbed dinner and drinks a few times and on your shared 23rd birthday, you all met up at a bakery in London that was purported to have the best red velvet cupcakes in the city. When you all reached the counter Harry asked for two from the case, along with two coffees.

“I figured we could each handle our own now,” he explained.

You all sat nestled in the corner, forks clinking against porcelain. Over the past several months, you and Harry had fallen into a comfortable routine, friendship reinvigorated by your long-lasting crush and his desire to be with someone who knew him before everything changed. You weren’t always entirely sure when he’d be in town, but you knew you were in for a good time whenever he was.

He was telling a story about something that had happened when he was in Jamaica, but you were only half listening, observing the way his tongue stuck out in the slightest way each time he lifted the fork to his lips and the way his entire face crinkled when he laughed at his own joke. He was the same boy you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, just an even better version. And you were still the same girl, too shy to say anything.

He walked you home from the bakery. You all stood so close that your hands kept brushing, eliciting soft giggles and apologies from the both of you. You were certain that if he looked close enough, he’d see just how much you were blushing.

“Do you have any other plans tonight?” he asked. His voice was laced with something, but you couldn’t tell what. You were too busy trying to play it cool.

“Not really. The girls were all busy tonight so we’ll probably celebrate over the weekend. Birthdays aren’t as big of a deal when you get older.”

“It’s in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it?” He kicked a pebble with his shoe. “But no plans with a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

“No. There hasn’t been a boyfriend for awhile. How about you?”

“Same. No one for a while.”

You’d reached your building by this point. “This is me,” you said, rocking back on your heels, unsure of what would happen next. “It was lovely to catch up with you. Don’t be a stranger,” you added, surprising yourself.

“I’ll try not to now that I know you’re around. It would be rude to only see you on our birthday.” Like the gentleman he was, he gave you a parting hug and waited until you were safely inside the lobby of your building before moving on.

You didn’t tell your friends about your birthday rendezvous with Harry, but you suspected Jessica had her own ideas about what happened when she pulled you aside later that night, fishing for any details you had to share.

“It was fun,” you said. “I didn’t realize how much I missed him.”

***

In the years after, Harry floated in and out of your life.

You’d occasionally receive a text or email from him at an odd hour of night, sent in the small pocket of free time he had in between shows all over the world. But when he was in town, he made a point to reach out, meeting you for coffee and pastries, and once even a sad, prepackaged salad during your brief lunch hour.

True to his word, Harry made sure you all had plenty of time outside of that special day, sporadic as it might be, but you knew that every February 1, he’d be waiting for you, some sort of sweet treat at the ready.

There were hiccups here and there, when he was caught up in circumstances outside of his control that prevented you all from seeing each other. But he always found a way to make it up to you with a text, phone call, or special delivery. As time passed, you found yourself growing more attached to Harry. He wasn’t a presence in your life the way Jessica and your other friends were, but you felt your friendship with him was much stronger. He remembered, even the slightest detail, and had some sort of sixth sense to tell when you were going through a rough patch and needed someone to check in. In return, you paid him a visit whenever you could, popping into shows here and there when he was back on your side of the globe.

Harry was most definitely a friend, but the thought of him becoming something more lingered in the back of your mind. He was lovely and wonderful and would make an excellent partner, but you tried to talk yourself out of it – he was never here, he probably got into all sorts of trouble when you weren’t watching – so as not to get your hopes up. But the idea of what if, what if he was yours, only grew stronger each time you saw him.

***

You next saw him at what had become Johnny’s annual gathering.

You’d been doing a good job of banishing those pesky thoughts of Harry over the summer and fall, quieting them with a number of dates you’d met on the apps and through friends. But when you saw Harry standing there, shirt wrinkled and fringe pulled back from his face, every thought you’d fought off came rushing back when you saw Harry standing there, ready to help you out of your coat and greet you with a big hug.

“I’m surprised you managed to find time for us,” you teased as his cheeks flushed.

“I’ll always make time for you,” he murmured.

You ignored the subtext you were sure you were imagining, grabbing a drink from the bar. “Any thoughts on what we’re doing for our birthday this year?”

“About that…” He looked nervous. Shifty. And you were preparing for the worst. “So I haven’t actually made it official yet,” he began. “But I’ve got a show that night.”

“Oh?” You tried to hide the disappointment in your voice as the feelings you felt on your thirteenth birthday  came rushing back. “Maybe we can shoot for doing something later in the month.”

“Or how would you feel about coming to the show? It’s in Palm Springs, but I was thinking maybe you have the time?”

Traveling to spend a birthday with him was something you’d only thought of in your dreams, yet here was Harry, ready to make your dreams come true. “Um, yeah I should be able to get the time off. If you’re sure it won’t be too much. You know, with me being in the way.”

“You wouldn’t be in the way, you’d be my guest.”

“Well then, how can I say no to that?”

“Brilliant.” Harry’s grin was the tiniest bit brighter after that, and you didn’t miss how he followed you around for the rest of the night, always seeming to migrate to whatever group of people you found yourself in.

And when the night was over, he was there to help you with your coat and walk you to your car, hugging you tight before you climbed behind the wheel.

“See you real soon,” he whispered against your temple. “It’ll be our best birthday yet.”

***

When you looked back on all of your favorite birthdays, they all had something in common: you woke up with Harry beside you.

Your 29th was just the start of that trend, as when you rolled over on February 1, pulling the sheet tighter over your shoulder to fend off the slight chill to the air, you found Harry grinning at you, freshly cut hair flopping wildly on the pillow behind him.

“Morning,” he said groggily, the strain of last night’s concert – and post-show activities – evident in his voice.

You’d had no intention of falling into bed with him, but a moment of honesty and vulnerability backstage ahead of his first Palm Springs show had revealed what you’d hoped for all along. Harry had been pining for you all those years, just as you were after him. And when he’d invited you back to his hotel room, you couldn’t say no, falling into a pile of limbs on top of the plush duvet. Now, this morning, you were tired, sore, and another year older, and also much more content than you’d ever been.

“Morning,” you whispered back. “Happy birthday.”

“Happy birthday to you as well.” He grinned mischievously. “I feel like we should celebrate again or something.”

“I–” You were cut off by a knock at the door. You glanced at Harry. “What’s that?”

He jumped from the bed, pulling on shorts and a hoodie he found scattered on the floor as he made his way to the door. When he opened it, your view was blocked and you couldn’t make out the words that were exchanged in hushed tones behind it, but when Harry returned to the bed, he was holding a plate with two red velvet cupcakes.

“I had to honor tradition,” he said softly.

You were overcome at the small gesture and were left searching for words. “Thank you,” was all you could manage in a small voice.

Harry wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you in close to him. “Of course. Anything for you.” He peeled the corner of the wrapper off before handing one of the treats to you. “Did you ever think this would happen?” he asked.

“What? Spending my 29th birthday eating a cupcake naked in bed, post-coital?”

“No.” Harry rolled his eyes. “Us. Being together.”

You shrugged. “I always kind of hoped.”

His eyebrows climbed up his forehead. “Really? With me?”

You nodded. “You were always really nice. And I liked that.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” You furrowed your brow.

“I don’t know. That’s kind of the placeholder you use when you can’t think of anything else to say about someone,” he said, licking a bit of frosting off of his thumb. “‘Harry’s nice.’”

“Well you are! You gave me your cupcake when we were five. What else am I supposed to say?”

“I dunno.” He was testing you now, you could tell from the impish gleam in this eye. “You have that fancy university degree. I’m sure you could think of something.”

“OK…” you trailed off in thought, absentmindedly. “Sweet. You were always really sweet.”

“Sweet…” Harry mulled the word. “I can work with that.” He grinned. “And I think after last night, you’re pretty sweet too.”

***

A/N: This felt very different from what I normally write, but why not get a little experimental to celebrate our favorite rock star's birthday. Thank you so much for reading. Would love to hear what everyone thinks!

[agentnico]

Rivals - season 1 (2024) review

Blimey Disney - you dirty!!

Plot: Into the cut-throat world of Corinium television comes Declan O'Hara, a mega-star of great glamour and integrity with a radiant feckless wife, a son and two teenage daughters. Living rather too closely across the valley is Rupert Campbell-Black, divorced and as dissolute as ever, and now the Tory Minister for Sport. Declan needs only a few days at Corinium to realise that the Managing Director, Lord Baddingham, is a crook who has recruited him merely to help retain the franchise for Corinium. Baddingham has also enticed Cameron Cook, a gorgeous but domineering executive, to produce Declan's programme. Declan and Cameron detest each other, provoking a storm of controversy into which Rupert plunges with his usual abandon. As a rival group emerges to pitch for the franchise, reputations ripen and decline, true love blossoms and burns, marriages are made and shattered, and sex raises its (delicious) head at almost every throw as, in bed and boardroom, the race is on to capture the Cotswold Crown.

One can recall the time when Disney first announced its streaming service, and how many scratched their heads thinking the platform will be mostly family/children orientated content, as well as Marvel and Star Wars. Since then though the House of Mouse seemingly has grown some cojones, for now they are unashamed to release stronger more provocative mature content. In cometh Rivals, an adaptation of the 1988 Jilly Cooper novel known for its filth and sexual content. And the TV series goes full Game of Thrones in that respect. as it not all all shies away from all the sex, and in fact I even found myself wishing there wasn’t as much sex happening on screen, and to leave a little to our imaginations instead. Then again from what I heard Cooper’s novel was overly erotic in itself, as such can’t blame the series for being faithful. Seriously though, seconds into the first episode we're confronted with a man's bare buttocks furiously humping away in an airplane toilet, as his partner at the mile-high club grinds her red stilettoed heel into the bathroom wall. Yep, this may just be the most expensive porn I’ve ever seen.

Rivals is campy, colourful, glamorous and silly fun about terrible people and inappropriate jokes. Essentially every character is a diabolical self-centred human being, very much emphasising the stereotype of television stardom celebrity. Yet also every single horrible individual is dripping with endless charisma and charm that you can’t help but enjoy seeing them trying to outdo one another. This is a very glitzy period drama set in the backdrop of the 80s, and speaking of the era, the soundtrack of this show is a superb mixtape of the greatest 80s hits. Every other scene another banger is dropped, which was bit another cherry on top of what already was a very delicious cake.

Disney have also forked out for a stellar cast here. David Tennant (ex-Doctor Who) plays the mean and slimy Lord Tony Baddingham, with the “Bad” in his name not without purpose, as he’s a cold-hearted control freak that wants to own the regional TV network, and destroys anyone that come in his path. Especially with his past in Doctor Who, as well as his fun shenanigans with Michael Sheen, I’m used to Tennant being the loveable personality that he is, but he is truly despicable in Rivals. Then again he played a heck of an antagonist in Jessica Jones, so I shouldn’t be so shocked. Aidan Turner plays possible the only human being in this show with a soul and moral compass as television presenter Declan O’Hara, who’s a riff on Jeremy Kyle, only that he’s not 100% a dick. Turner, who most would know as the good-looking dwarf from The Hobbit movies, is a delight here, and the only one you can actually properly root for. He’s a good guy in a pent house full of wolves. Alex Hassell has possible the most challenging job of balancing the “handsomest man in England” role of Rupert Campbell-Black, as he is both a hero and an antihero. He’s extremely watchable, playing a part-villain, part-Adonis, part-whimpering child, and he plays the role with credibility. Then there is Danny Dyer, who one wouldn’t think would be able to perform on the level of his other cast members, but he was truly delightful here. He plays a self-made millionaire who refuses to adhere to the social rules, or dress codes of the upper class, and is made fun of for it. But it his his romantic side-plot that showcases Jilly Cooper’s more sensitive and sentimental side. Finally we have Bella Maclean as 20-year old daughter of Declan, who acts in some capacity as the viewer’s innocent perspective into the madness of the rich, from the raunchy parties to the endless innuendos. Yet she also has a controversial will-they-won’t-they fling with RCB, and even though the age gap is a tad concerning, the two have such off the charts chemistry that I couldn’t help but ship that boat big time.

Rivals is at its best when it does not take itself too seriously. There are darker moments in this also, from references to the AIDS crisis, to Margaret Thatcher’s political strategy, and more notably sex without consent. I totally get why the latter was included, as it was a reflection on terrible people, especially rich and powerful ones, getting away with terrible things due to their stature. Again though, the show is at its most entertaining when it lets loses and throws these characters in fun stand-offs, and I was truly invested from the first episode till last. It’s rare for me to these days to be excited for another season, but goodness do I want, nay NEED season 2 of Rivals ASAP! Please Disney, do one thing right for once and renew this show!

Overall score: 8/10

[martinsharmony]

Who is the best post-2000 movie or TV villain? Hands down, David Tennant's Kilgrave from Jessica Jones' first season, the perfect embodiment of sexual and domestic violence. He's one of those rare villains who leaves you with unease long after you turn off the TV, and it's because he was there before you turned it on.

He's not the best villain because of his personality, though his glee and charm is a large part of it. He's not the best villain because of the scope of his villainy. He's not out to destroy any cities or conquer any galaxies. He's not even out to take down a hero, although that's what he's going to do along the way. You see, Kilgrave's power is this:

You have to do anything he wants you to do. Anything at all. Maybe he wants your jacket. Maybe he wants you to have sex with him. Maybe he wants you to become his lover and live with him happily, forever and ever, in a lovely little house for the two of you. Maybe he wants you to murder your mom.

You know those intrusive thoughts, the ones you would never in a million years do, the ones that make you wonder if you're a monster? The ones that say, jump over the railing. Hold the match to your sleeve. The dog sure looks happy; why don't you kick its brains in?

Kilgrave whispers the very worst things to you, and you do them.

Kilgrave makes it your fault when he does what he does to you. Makes it your idea. Does it with your hands. Makes your body something bad. And he makes the people you depend upon blame you for it.

So when Kilgrave uses his powers on you, you aren't a victim. You are a villain. And you're utterly, eternally alone in your hurt and your horror.

And it doesn't end when it ends. He's got no master plan or secret agenda. He's just following his whims. If he decides he really likes you, he'll bring the trauma back over. And over. And over. He can leave an idea in your head that never goes away, an idea that sits there where you can't see it until it suddenly shows up at the worst possible moment.

Creating a villain who generates such revulsion and horror in the audience is like capturing lightning in a bottle. As Dorothy Sayers told us, it’s almost impossible to write the Devil without making the audience root for him, because those attributes that make a villain an opponent worthy of writing about are virtues, or are at least the personality traits that make a character fascinating. If your villain isn’t powerful, you’ve got no story. If your villain isn’t talented, you’ve got no story. If your villain isn’t persistent, isn’t charismatic, doesn’t have a good reason to do what they do . . . no story. There is a sense in which it's very hard for us to tell honest stories about evil, because real evil isn't extremely watchable.

So instead of making legitimately evil villains, we make villains who are heroes on the wrong side, or villains who are heroes with a streak of malice, or we just take the hero, run through a list of their strengths, and come up with a foil for each bullet point. Those methods make engaging villains. Those are the villains you love to see, because they thrill you at the same time that they horrify you: the Darth Vaders and the Hannibal Lectors, the Moriartys and the Lex Luthors. Those bad guys may not have our allegiance, but they have our attention, our fascination, the stamp of the viewer's approval.

But to write a villain who elicits horror in the audience, who’s a perfect counterpoint to all the hero’s strengths, and to have the audience feel sick when he’s on the screen—that’s extraordinary. And in this case, it’s achieved by tapping into a kind of violence that has only rarely been addressed on the screen, and even more rarely shown from the victim’s point of view. It’s not the “violent rape” that politicians discuss, the kind that grabs you in an alleyway with a stranger’s hands. It’s the kind that gets up close and personal in all the other ways, in ways that nobody can see from the outside. And its perpetrator is an emotional toddler, raging for anything and everything they want, right now, as if their whims were as essential as oxygen. There is absolutely nothing appealing about Kilgrave. Zilch. Even his charm isn't directed toward us; it's directed toward the other characters, the ones Jessica needs to believe her and help her, and so we hate his charm. He convinces the audience that he’s powerful, maybe too powerful to be defeated, and we’re right there in Jessica’s misery with her, feeling isolated and despairing.

Kilgrave's comic-book villain in Jessica Jones does what speculative fiction does best: turns a mirror on reality. You can make a villain who is stronger than other villains, who rules a bigger empire or has a bigger weapon or is out to kill more people than any other villain ever written. But all you're doing is playing the game of "Oh, yeah? My bad guy is bad times a hundred. No; times a million. Times infinity plus one."

Kilgrave tells us what bad really is, and it rings true. Anybody who's had to take out an order of protection knows Kilgrave already. Anybody who's undergone a rape kit knows Kilgrave already. He's the rarest sort of screen villain: the one we were afraid of before he was written.

[traveller-of-the-knight]

Only a Paper Moon

Prologue AKA The Boy who Saved them

General Moon Knight Fanfic

Ft. Daredevil and Jessica Jones

Tags warnings: Childhood trauma (did you see the picture? You saw the picture, you know it's trauma time!), angst with happy ending, skipable gore (you'll see the trigger warning but don't worry nobody got hurt you'll- you'll see)

Word Count: 1.2k

Chapter Summary: A glimpse of the system's childhood, haunted by a God and a family.

Ao3 link

Chapter 1 will be dropped soon!

Blood-stained candies fell on the ground.

Marc faced the sky, only to see a broken moon, leaking down on earth, all around him.

Its insides were hollow, the crates painted with markers and cheap acrylics making the emptiness of space feel plastic. Fragile like the moon, cracked and exposed for everyone to see the thin cardboard that held everything together, now socked with its intestines.

He closed his eyes, he didn’t want to look at the moon anymore, it was shattered, no one would play with it now. It had no purpose, beyond being destroyed for other’s entertainment. They were now playing over its mutilated guts, accompanied by the sound of plastic wraps scratching the rough surface of the carpet. It felt sticky as dozens of tiny candy bars had been stepped on by children fighting to get the most trophies -trophies that Marc had earned.

But he didn’t care,

he wasn’t there.

He was pushed to the side and attacked by what felt like tiny rocks, meteors falling from the vast depths of space to punish him.

He loved space regardless.

I wonder what it’s like… Being on the moon, looking down on earth, where the city lights of Chicago mix with the faraway stars. Funny, isn’t it? That I feel like I belong more with the stars than with humans… Looking down at myself from the moon, I feel so small. All this pain, my memories, my mistakes, all my worries are unimportant here. Here I am so small that I barely exist -if I exist at all.

And so, he disappeared, floating around, outside of his home, outside of all the judgement, outside of his own body.

He was free.

For now, he was truly free.

He pulled himself closer to the moon, close enough to hear it cry. Something cold was slowly dripping on his forehead from above. It made his bones shiver, as it run down, around his eyes and chicks, so cold he could barely feel them as his own.

He gently placed a hand on his temple, letting his shaking fingertips examine what was poured on him. A silent sob escaped him, making him realize he had been crying all along but still couldn’t make a sound. He then brought his hand in front of his eyes -to make sure his fingers were still attached as the cold had paralyzed them.

TW: Gore

Thank G-d. They were still here, but he could barely make out their silhouettes. One thing was certain, they were painted red. Red that started to blend with his vision, replacing his tears with the moon’s as they kept dropping, nesting for a new home in his eyes. The moon is bleeding down on him stronger than before, he can hear the blood twisting and spilling on him, but he still couldn’t move. He was so lucky to be chosen, to witness such a beautiful spectacle. Blood mixed with cosmic dust of faraway galaxies, now long gone, destroyed by the cruelty of space but still visible from his unimportant planet.

He examined the cosmos above him, he shouldn't, but he did. Inside the moon was a dead bird. Some of its feathers still attached on its rotten flesh so thin now, you could see its skeleton, with hollow eyes and crummy with scabs. It was wounded, an arrow next to its heart, Marc felt it too as the darkness of his glare pierced his very soul.

He couldn’t look away, he wanted but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. Even when he saw it being consumed by bugs, taking slow bites, feasting on his flesh. It was all so loud. So fucking loud. He heard it all from inside his skull, flies in his ears, worms blocking his airway, choking him, tickling his nostrils as he tried to puke them away from his mouth, only for them to be reborn inside his lungs, crawling to be free.

End of TW

"Marc?"

Mom's voice.

Her face appeared for just a split of a second as shadows of little children blocked his vision again.

"Marc?!"

"Marc!"

Another voice appeared.

Roro?

"Marc, look how many candies I got!

Oh. You didn't get any...

That's ok, we can share, you can take the Mars bar, it's your birthday after all!"

Roro?

Roro placed chocolates and soft candies on Marc's palm. Even though it was still stained with blood. But he didn’t care and closed his brother's fist with his hands and held it with his tiny fingers. Marc looked down at how big his hands were in comparison to his brother’s, reminding him he had grown older without him, he experienced more of the world as his brother stayed the same, trapped inside a memory, a fate he couldn’t escape.

"It's ok… It wasn't your fault."

Roro what are you taking about?

...

..

.

Oh-

I'm dreaming again.

I’m dreaming.

He’s not real he’s-

"Marc! Marc don't go!"

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! ImsorryImsorryImsorry!

"What do you think you're doing?!"

Marc was standing there, in the middle of his living room, surrounded by his classmates, who were laughing and chasing each other for their candies, circling him in the middle, right under the paper moon piñata. He didn't even fully remove the blindfold from his head and kept holding his baseball bat loosely only for it to be dropped when something grabbed his ear and pulled him to the side.

"What do you think you are doing?!"

Roro?

"I didn't spend all that money on you to be ungrateful!"

Roro?

"You looked ridiculous! That's why nobody wants to be your friend."

No. No, this isn’t real. This isn’t real. Mom… Mom could never-

Mum?

What is mum doing?

Did I- do something wrong?

No, no Mom… She-

Mum?

Why is she angry?

Steven no, you didn’t do anything wr-

“Mu…m?” a shaky whisper escaped his mouth, loud enough only they could hear.

“Speak when you are spoken to!”

No! You can’t hurt him! You can’t- I won’t let you! I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!

His cheek was studently throbbing with heat.

Mum? Mum, I think someone-

Shhh… Shhh… It’s ok, you’re ok, we’re ok. We’ll survive, that’s what we do.

Steven?

Shhh…

Let me save us.

Let me save us.

Marc gave in. Mom’s yelling was nothing but a distant noise and eventually nothing at all. He was floating again, but this time he was safe, he was protected from the bleeding bird in the sky, he was still free.

…

..

.

But what happened to the boy who saved him?

What remained of him is now giving a fight. A fight for survival. Not his survival, but a survival non the less.

“Jake Lockley. What do you think you are doing?”

Blood-stained bullets fell on the ground.

Divider by: @cafekitsune

Jake faced the sky, only to see the moon, reflecting on a broken man, leaking his own blood on the concrete. He closed his eyes and tried to think of happy places. A diner, his cab late at night, a lawyer’s office in a cheap apartment building, his friends safe at the bar and him drinking whisky with a girl with terrifying high alcohol tolerance. He would do anything to keep these images real. Well… almost anything but that’s a story for another time.

Comment to be tagged in the next parts!

[onlyancunin]

5 comfort characters

@judasiskariot tagged me and for that I thank you, darling! 🖤

It's gonna be a doozy so unless someone's really interested, feel free to skip. And yes, all my "comfort characters" have themes of trauma and revenge.

Astarion Ancunin - I think my url might've given it away; his story resonates with me in terms of struggling with intimacy post sa and experiencing the isolating loneliness that comes along with trauma incomprehensible for others. And also the world is a vile place and I say let it burnnn, baby! I must say I really had to think long and hard about the rest, but judging by what I like to come back to when in stress:

Dean Winchester - resonating with the trauma and/or complicated feelings coming from being the older sibling that's supposed to "save" the younger one, despite being unable to. And having a thing for drinking and/or isolating myself when the troubles hit. Also my 11 yo cat is literally called Cas lmao, he's equal part apex predator and fluffy dum dum, just like the original.

V from "V for Vendetta" - I wish I could spend my life meticulously plotting and flawlessly executing a plan of elaborate revenge on my past abusers. I feel like that would give me the kick, lol. This + the "inch of ourselves" quote was literally a theme for my therapy for years, while I was looking for my own identity panicking I've been destroyed to the last: "Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all that we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch, we are free… An inch; it is small, and it is fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away; we must never let them take it from us.”

Lisbeth Salander (Millennium book series, "Girl with the dragon tattoo") - a woman who single-handedly made me dream of working remotely in IT and living independently. And of course one day I'll make my abuser pay the exact same way she did - and I already have the tattoo needle, eyyy! Proud to say after years and years I finally get to live in a single-bedroom studio place and spend my days developing code, even if just in a junior position for now. The next step is to live somewhere with palm trees, just like she did in the books. After the fucker gets his tat, of course. Bonus points for being neurodivergent and blatantly unapologetic about it. And getting her heart crushed because no matter how big the gesture, most will mostly pick the "normal" over the freak.

Jessica Jones - a little similar to Lisbeth, but with Marvel twist and way more psychotic opponent. I've just started watching his series recently and it's ripping my soul in hundreds of directions, even evoking a bit of my Stokholm Syndrome. And to have such strength as a woman! Makes me wonder what kind of use I'd actually make of it, given the chance. Would I actually go the hero route? The vigilante? Or just amuse myself with continuous torture of those who wronged me?

Who would've known, out of the whole bunch, Astarion seems like the most cheerful character lmao.

I'd like to no-pressure tag: @treshmind, @thedomesticanthropologist, @night-orchids, @thatdangeroussmile

[foodfightnovelization]

Why Don't You Foodfight...Like Some Other Men Do?

Hey everyone, I just wanted to update this blog real quick to share some art I drew! I rewatched Who Framed Roger Rabbit a while ago, and was shocked by just how many similarities it has to Foodfight!. Despite many people claiming it to be a Toy Story knock-off, I honestly think Foodfight! borrowed far more from Roger Rabbit than anything else. Christopher Lloyd even plays a villain in both movies, and they both share the twist his character is actually somebody else disguised as a human. AND early versions of Foodfight! featured Dex as a human detective in a trenchcoat and hat, just like Eddie Valiant! Although that early version of Dex was clearly paying tribute to Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca- the design looking like a stylized caricature of him, on top of all the Casablanca references throughout the film, I suspect one of the reasons Dex was ultimately changed to a dog in Indiana Jones gear was to avoid the movie straying a little TOO close to what Roger Rabbit did.

Anyway, I just wanted to redraw the famous "Why Don't You Do Right..?" scene from the movie, with Dex and Lady X in place of Eddie Valiant and Jessica Rabbit. After all...Lady X isn't bad, she's just rendered that way. Well, she was a genocidal military dictator who tried to build an army of deadly robotic mosquitos for the sole purpose of destroying thousands of grocery store brand mascots in a misguided attempt at world domination, so actually I guess she was pretty terrible. There's not a whole lot you can do to come back from that... come to think of it actually, was Lady X killed at the end of Foodfight!? Odd question I know, but given the rest of the Brand X characters die at various points during the titular food fight, and Dex tells Dan to "wrap her up and take her to the Expiration Station with the rest of Brand X", was she mercilessly slaughtered offscreen while everyone else was celebrating? I guess there's no way to know and it was probably left vague because it's a children's movie, but I bet if you shot her in the back of the head with a price tag gun she'd go down like a sack of potatoes. Dan is an ice cold son of a bitch too, I bet he'd do it. Mr. Leonard would come into the store the next day and there'd be prunes and detergent all over the floor...

ANYWAY! I hope you enjoyed my artwork, and I'll be updating this blog some more soon, so stay tuned!

[phoenixwrites]

Last year I found that I'm capable of shipping fucked up ship (controversial fucked up villain, you can compare him to Billy but worst, and MC basically) and it fucked with my head because I thought I was a bad person. It's silly but I finally got over it because I'm not. Then months later I found Hellcheer and I was so relieved because finally I found a WHOLESOME ship!! and then I dag deeper into the fandom lore and background and you can guess what bullshit I found, right?

You're talking to someone who shipped Jessica Jones and Kilgrave back in the day. I love me a fucked up darkship. (It was like me and one other person who shipped this and we did it under the cover of darkness because we were so afraid of getting harassed.) I even remember feeling that same kind of shame that I shipped it, because I know Kilgrave is a rapist, I know that canonically it is disgusting and I'm so glad canon Jessica murdered that fucker...

But in fiction, I can watch two characters destroy each other over and over again and no one gets hurt. And it took me years to realize that what I read and enjoy in fiction has zero bearing on what I condone and believe offline.

Perfect example? Johanna Lindsay novels. I loooove Johanna Lindsay novels, the trashier the better. Now I don't think there is a SINGLE Johanna Lindsay novel that has a genuinely healthy romance. She didn't even really address "consent" as a thing until the mid to late 90's (Her first book came out 1979) and even then, it was a wibbly concept and always the woman's fault that she didn't just sit back and enjoy it.

Now despite the fact that I am trying to get a copy of every single Johanna Lindsay novel (with the Fabio covers, you can keep your boring minimalist covers of the 2000s) and read them obsessively--

Does this mean I want a hulking Viking to kidnap me and have his horrible way with me? No.

...

Okay, maybe I do a little bit, but if any of the guys I was seeing talked to me the way a Johanna Lindsay hero does his heroine, I would punch them in the face. Johanna Lindsay is not writing blueprints for relationships, she is writing sweeping purple prosey romance without a care if it's "ethical" or "moral" or "feminist". She leaves that to me to talk about how bodice rippers represent female liberation. (I'll save you the TED talk.)

I am getting increasingly concerned with how Gen Z engages with fiction.

[jessicafurseth]

Reading List, Disoriented edition.

"Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire." [Jorge Luis Borges]

[Image by Rita Kostrikova, via 64mag]

*

One Thing - A catalogue of authenticity

"I couldn’t stop thinking that this trial was also about something else: the value of a woman, long past middle age, who dared to claim she indeed still had value. Just how radical was it for Ms. Carroll, 80, to demand that she was worth something?" E. Jean Carroll and the Value of a Woman ‘Past Her Prime’ [Jessica Bennett, The New York Times]

"We need fewer things to work on. Starting now." It’s Time to Embrace Slow Productivity [Cal Newport, The New Yorker]

"Recently I find the task of wasting time online increasingly onerous. The websites I used to depend on have gotten worse, and it seems as if there’s nowhere else to look. Something is changing about the internet." The Year the Millennials Handed the Internet Over to Zoomers [Max Read, The New York Times]

"The [online] sprawl has become disorienting. Some of my peers in the media have written about how the internet has started to feel “placeless”  and more ephemeral, even like it is “evaporating.” Perhaps this is because, as my colleague Ian Bogost has argued, “the age of social media is ending,” and there is no clear replacement. Or maybe artificial intelligence is flooding the internet with synthetic information and killing the old web. Behind these theories is the same general perception: Understanding what is actually happening online has become harder than ever." Nobody Knows What’s Happening Online Anymore [Charlie Warzel, The Atlantic]

Why Are My Secret Spotify Songs Following Me Around? [Nate Jones, Vulture]

“But just remember that Shakespeare himself never read a single book about Shakespeare.” How to stop yourself [Sophie Heawood]

"I've never really experienced jealousy, because I’ve always thought of myself as the greatest person who ever lived. I’m joking; except I’m not." Jealousy! [Amelia Tait, The New Statesman]

"The corporate gig was a revelation. “I could just show up to work and do work,” Lee Tilghman said. After she was done, she could leave. She didn’t have to be a brand. There’s no comments section at an office job." Is There Is Life After Influencing? [Mattie Kahn, The New York Times]

Wine was my poison. Now it’s my sober passion [Nick Johnstone, Financial Times]

America Doesn’t Know Tofu [George Stiffman, Asterisk]

On going to the mat. Baselines [Wudan Yan]

@the_brain_doctor on Instagram

“Life has taught me that things tend to shake out, if you can be cool for two minutes and try to not freak out. Aging has taught me how to respond, not to react — and sober, intelligent responses can take weeks or even years to formulate. That’s ok. Weirdly, I feel like I have far more time now than I did when I was in my twenties, when everything was insanely urgent.” Elizabeth Gilbert Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 19: Fun in the Sun (originally posted on May 1, 2023)

AN: Just in time for the beginning of summer, we have a beach episode! Yep, after the emotional trauma of last time, we could all use a little R&R and just a little fanservice too. But let's not have that distract from what Black Rutile has planned now that she's unleashed what is essentially Bill Cipher, Discord, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Bat Mite, the Collector, and the Beyonder all rolled into one with no shred of morals or care for mortal life, since we already implied last chapter that he convinced Adolf Hitler to become chancellor and start the Nazis. But for now, he's just content to sit back and wait until he can be fully freed by causing chaos like he usually does. And on a related note, I originally intended for Flipso to be voiced by David Tennant, but then the Steven versus Big Jack Horner from Puss in Boots: The Last Wish came along and I figured I could reference those by replacing him with John Mulaney. I think I've been talking too much, let's get on with the show!

Synopsis: As summer begins, Little Homeworld hits the beach.

Cast:

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

John Mulaney as Flipso

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Tiger's Eye

Deedee Magno Hall as Pearl, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Volleyball

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Shanelle Grey as Sally Grove

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Courtenary Taylor as Beryl

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Bill Fagerbakke as Spirit of Competition

Michelle Maryk as Larimar

Ian Jones Quartey as Snowflake Obsidian, Bixbite

Cavetown as Diaspore

Sarah Jessica Parker as Dumortierite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Olga Kurylenko as Rasputina

John Kassir as Reginald Johnson

--

Summer had finally begun, and right off the bat, it seemed like the hottest day of the year. However, that did not deter Black Rutile as she worked with Rasputina to research the powers of Flipso further, all while Flipso gave some running commentary by reminiscing on his past deeds.

"And the moral of the story is never use a volcano as a barbecue pit." Flipso finished another story of the chaos he created in eons past. "And that was the story of how I accidentally destroyed Pompeii! Those silly Romans didn't know what had happened! I thought I learned my lesson, but then I tried doing it again with Mount St. Helens. Eh, it doesn't matter to me either way; a volcano's a volcano, and a dead body is a dead body."

"I did not expect him to be this casual towards exterminating innocent lives." Rasputina commented on Flipso's comedic levels of apathy towards his sociopathic actions. "I thought he was just going to be a funny, obnoxious trickster."

"Well, appearances can be deceiving." Black Rutile replied. "Now then, it says here that in order to restore Flipso's physical form, only those with the blackest of hearts are considered worthy to receive his godlike powers." This reading from Flipso's page began piquing her interest. "Godlike powers, huh? If I had abilities of that caliber, I could use them to erase Steven from existence and rule unopposed!" Suddenly, there was a loud knocking at the door. "Someone's coming, hide!"

Just as Flipso and Rasputina vanished, White Topaz kicked in the door to Black Rutile's house with urgent news. "Black Rutile, you gotta come outside! The Crystal Gems have a big announcement to make!"

"They're finally outlawing Era 3 because I was right all along, and they're giving me special permission to execute Steven on live television?!" Black Rutile excitedly asked, much to White Topaz's dismay. "Come on, a Gem can dream!"

"No, they got something really fun planned!" White Topaz explained. "Everybody's talking about what to do for summer; you should come and see!"

"But I was busy with something!" Black Rutile whined in dismay as she looked back at her research. "Okay, fine, I'll see what you want to do, but count me out!"

"Yep, count me out." Black Rutile grumbled as the Gems of Little Homeworld gathered around the Warp Pad to hear what the Crystal Gems had to say.

--

"We're going to the beach, and you're all invited!" Pearl excitedly announced, to the eagerness of everyone around them.

"Spending time with my greatest enemies, the very reason my life is ruined?" Black Rutile frowned. "In your dreams, you putrid fascists!"

"Hey, cut the backtalk already!" Amethyst said to Black Rutie." You've been awfully stressed out lately, so this could be a chance for you to kick back and relax a little!"

"You're the reason I'm so stressed, you idiots!" Black Rutile yelled just as Garnet tried calming her down with a firm shoulder rub. "Stop touching me without my consent!"

"You see, this is what we mean." Garnet calmly advised the Rutile terrorist. "You're under a lot of stress at the moment, and we're looking for ways to help you calm down more. Please, just let us help you for once."

"Yeah, and we'd thought that maybe getting you involved in some relaxing activities could help you out." Lapis agreed with Garnet. "And who knows? Maybe you'll finally see how great Earth can be as well."

"I highly doubt it." Jasper rolled her eyes in response.

"See, she gets me!" Black Rutile agreed with Jasper before she saw Flipso emerge from behind her. "And what do you want?"

"Frankly, I think you should chillax for a bit." Flipso suggested. "Get a little breather from researching yours truly! In fact, how much of your hot brown morning potion have you had lately?"

"A little too much for me to count." Black Rutile replied, even though, at the moment, she was the only one who could see Flipso and make her look like she was talking to herself. Gawking at the sight, Jasper turned to Aquamarine and Holly Blue with a thumb pointed at the Rutile while the two blue Gems just shrugged to try and keep up the illusion.

"Maybe I could use a break now and then." Black Rutile admitted. "Fine, I'll go along with your little trip. But I won't like it!" The other Gems began cheering in delight, much to Black Rutile's annoyance. "I'm not liking it already."

--

"I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold." Teal Zircon said dramatically as she pointed a water gun straight at Diaspore's face. "Your choice, rebel scum."

"Draw!" Diaspore yelled back while pulling out a water gun of her own to fire at Teal Zircon, starting a playfully intense water-fight between the two. All around the duo, Gems of all shapes and sizes littered the beach, either playing in the sand or enjoying the water. All of them were having the summertime of their lives, all except for one.

"Yes, yes. You all have your fun, you fools." Black Rutile, now dressed in a white rash guard and black shorts, glowered as she sulked on a beach towel under an umbrella. "I'll be hiding away here where no one else can find me plotting."

"Hey, Black Rutile!" Lapis exclaimed, making Black Rutile yelp in surprise before turning to face the blue Gem, who had swapped her usual ensemble for a blue and white one-piece with a white skirt. "Sorry to give you a scare. I just wanted to check up on you."

"Well, I shouldn't be any of your beeswax or whatever they say!" Black Rutile scowled at the terraformer. "Now go away!"

"You know, you could do tons of stuff with us." Lapis said as she pointed towards some of the Gems' activities. "Like surfing, for example."

"WHOO, COWABUNGA!" Zuli shrieked delightfully as she rode the wave in a yellow crop top and shorts.

"Yeah, keep it going!" Laz, dressed in a dark blue one-piece, cheered her bestie on as she recorded the whole thing.

"Volleyball." Lapis continued while Jasper and White Topaz were engaged in a volleyball game against Blue and Yellow Pearl.

"SPIKE!" Yellow Pearl yelled vigorously as she spiked the ball right into Jasper's face.

"Uh, Yellow, I'm pretty sure you're taking this a little too seriously." Blue Pearl meekly said as Jasper got back up from the counterattack.

"She's not taking it seriously enough!" Jasper responded before throwing the ball back.

"Get 'em, darling!" White Topaz said excitedly.

"Sandcastle building." Peridot stood above the beach atop a massive sandcastle and looked down on everyone below her. "KNEEL BEFORE ME, CLODS! FOR I STAND ON HIGH; THEREFORE, I AM FAR TALLER THAN ALL OF YOU!"

"Hey, get off my sandcastle, Peridot!" Morganite yelled at Peridot from the base of the castle. "I worked very hard on this and do not want anyone taking credit!"

"Look, Morganite; I'm making a little home for the crabs!" Volleyball giggled as she dug a little hole in the sandcastle to put some crabs in.

"Don't encourage her, Pearl!" Morganite grumbled angrily.

"Some of them are even breaking watermelons." Demantoid tied a blindfold around Tanzanite before handing her a club and spinning her around.

"Are you sure nobody will get hurt?" Tanzanite asked as she stopped spinning and began walking around the beach searching for the watermelon.

"Just trust us and follow my voice." Pyrope assured the purple Gem. "Now then, step a little to the right. No, my right. No, that's right!" Despite the former aristocrat's orders, Tanzanite didn't seem to pay attention. "Are you even listening to me right now?!"

"Ah, I think this is it!" Tanzanite exclaimed before bonking Apatite on the head with the club.

"Watch where you're pointing that thing." Apatite scolded Tanzanite rather nonchalantly.

"You know, all of those do sound enticing," Black Rutile said. "but I think I'm just content with staying here for right now. Now shoo, shoo!"

"Okay, your loss." Lapis said before she flew away, just as Flipso magically appeared beside Black Rutile in a deck chair of his own, wearing a red floral-pattern Hawaiian shirt and drinking out of a coconut.

"Aloha, chum!" Flipso greeted Black Rutile. "Heard you guys were headed for the beach. Frankly, I can see why because, lord almighty, I can feel the temperature rising!" He emphasized his point by summoning a thermometer that immediately burst from the heat. "So, anything you want to do together, Cherie?"

"Not interested." Black Rutile turned down Flipso's offer, much to his dismay, as she turned on her tablet to talk with Sally Grove.

"Aw, you're no fun!" Flipso whined like a petulant child. "I thought you would be the black heart that I needed to get outta this joint, but instead, you're all about rules and control and such! That just ain't my thing!"

"Shut up, I'm talking here!" Black Rutile shushed Flipso before talking with Sally. "Hello, Sally. How are you dealing with this heatwave?"

"I'm doing well. It won't stop me from making videos." Sally replied. "I got some new ones on the pipeline this summer, like 'Bisexual People are Just Straight People with Extra Steps,' 'Eduardo Suarez is a Bad President,' and one I think you'd love, 'Steven Universe is a Garbage Person and Here's Why.'"

"Send me the script for that last one!" Black Rutile suggested eagerly while Flipso impatiently waited to be paid attention to again.

"Oy jevalt, this beach day became such a bore!" Flipso moaned in disappointment just as he got an awful idea. "How about we liven up the joint a bit?" With a sinister cackle, he clapped his hands to make some mischief come to life.

--

"So, what do you think we should do for group activities next, girls?" Pearl asked the other Crystal Gems while adjusting her sunhat. "Maybe an art show or a sports competition?"

"Oh, I'd love the first one!" Peridot eagerly kicked her legs at the idea. "I just need someone to help me out with a meep morp!"

"You know, I never quite got why you call art that word." Bismuth stated. "I mean, why not call it what it is?"

"It's called having a sense of humor, Bismuth, doy!" Lapis replied frustratedly when they all heard a loud rumbling sound. "What was that?"

"Uh, guys. I think you're gonna need to see this." Amethyst said as a giant crab monster emerged from the ocean, spooking everyone on the beach while a white pony fighting it with a sword fell off the creature's back and into the portal where they came from.

"That crab is making me really scared!" Teal Zircon yelled in fright as she tightly held onto Beryl. "But also really hungry!"

"What are we gonna do?!" Beryl added just as the Crystal Gems sprang into action. "Hooray, here they come to save the day!"

"Amethyst, get everyone to safety! Pearl, find a potential weak point!" Garnet began giving orders. "Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth, Jasper, and White Topaz are all with me!"

"Aye, aye, captain!" White Topaz gave a hearty salute before whipping her brass knuckle gauntlet to punch at the crab's leg. "How do you like that, Sebastian?! You must be really hoping to get back down where it's wetter, huh?!"

"What is going on here?!" Holly Blue yelled as she, Cat's Eye, Aquamarine, and the Rubies watched the other Gems fight the crab monster, all while Black Rutile and Flipso sat back with some popcorn and drinks.

"Wherever that thing came from, keep it as far away from my bikini as possible!" Cat's Eye meowed while showing off her athletic body in a bright orange two-piece. "I wouldn't dare have that thing slobber all over me and pinch me to pieces!"

"Is this your friend's doing?" Aquamarine asked, pointing to a relaxing Flipso.

"Wassup?" Flipso smiled while throwing up a peace sign. "I just felt like livening up the joint since someone would rather not pay attention to me!"

"So that's it, you just want attention?" Eyeball responded to the chaos god's announcement. "Well, I can see why that librarian kept you locked up for so long."

"Ah, hush up, this is gonna get good!" Flipso replied with a mouthful of popcorn as he watched the Gems gain the upper hand on the crab beast.

"Lapides, now!" Jasper commanded Lapis, Laz, and Zuli to restrain the massive crustacean with water chains. "Larimar, make sure she doesn't try and break out!"

"What can I do?" Desert Glass asked Jasper.

"I don't know, bury this thing or something!" Jasper yelled. As the Lapides and Larimar used their water and ice powers to keep the crab from moving, Desert Glass commanded the sand beneath her sandal-clad feet to slowly sink the crab into the ground before burying it beneath, making sure that it wouldn't break out and hurt anyone again. "It is over, finished."

"Wow, these Gems sure got a lot of moxie!" Flipso applauded Desert Glass's efforts as the other Gems cheered in celebration. "But, still, that was a little anticlimactic. I mean, what's stopping that thing from breaking out? We just gonna shove it into the sea or something?"

"Let's not bother ourselves for now." Black Rutile replied. "But right now, I think we could put your powers to good use."

--

Once the crab was dealt with, everything returned to normal as the Gems returned to their beach activities. Well, as normal as a beach day, being haunted by a chaotic spirit can get, anyways. Flipso haunted everyone's shadows, ogling some of the Gems in their swimsuits as he brainstormed ideas for his next plot.

"Hm, I have to say, these Gem babes don't look half bad." Flipso mused to himself. "But I wonder if they even talked about who was hotter? Ooh, delightfully devilish, Flipso! Yer old papa Jestrix would be proud!" With a snap of his fingers, Flipso brought forth a strange pink blob-like creature with a very dopey voice. "Hey, Spirit of Competition, my man! Glad you could come!"

"Uh, what do you need me for, Flipso?" the Spirit of Competition asked Flipso.

"Well, I gotta ask two things. First," Flipso summoned a crowbar and began beating the Spirit senseless with it. "WHERE'S MY MONEY, YOU STUPID WAD OF GUM?! YOU WANT ME TO START A HOTLINE FOR PEOPLE TO VOTE ON WHETHER I CAN KILL YOU OR NOT?!"

"I promise I'll get your money; just please leave me alone!" the Spirit of Competition wailed. "What else did you need me for?!"

"Glad you asked, sonny!" Flipso smiled before presenting the Spirit with all the beautiful women around them. "Behold, some very gorgeous gals! Just look at them, by gummity!"

"Yeah, they're hot!" the Spirit drooled amorously. "What do you want me to do?"

"Listen, I got a friend who needs to have the heat taken off her, and I summoned you to help distract these babes." Flipso stated. "Think you're up to the challenge? I'll give you some free mortal food out of this."

"Ooh yeah, I love making people challenge each other!" the Spirit of Competition exclaimed happily. "And I think I know just the thing to do!" With a determined look on its face, the Spirit leaped towards Emerald and began assimilating itself into her body to control her mind for a bit.

"Maybe you're right." Emerald admitted to Amazonite. "Maybe there is a good-minton." Then the Spirit began taking over her body, symbolized by her eyes turning a dark shade of pink and her gem taking on a slight pinkish glow. "But you know what else is good? This body!" She stood up and forced Amazonite to admire her muscles in her lime green bikini. "Look at this perfectly sculpted form! Gaze upon it, I say!"

"Emerald, are you okay?" Amazonite asked as she slowly backed away from the suddenly changed ex-pilot. "You seem a lot more overconfident than usual."

"Oh please, you're getting too cocky, Emerald." Pyrope challenged Emerald while flaunting her body in her tight pink one-piece. "I got soft curves for days here!"

"Geez, are we really starting a contest here?" Apatite smirked before showing off her red swimsuit. "Because we all know who the winner is here. That's right, ol' Shortstack herself!"

"Well, why don't we make it a contest?!" Albite exclaimed. "Most attractive Gem on the beach shall win…..uh….." She began thinking about what the prize should be. "I don't know, the undying respect and admiration of her opponents?"

"YEAH!" Tanzanite loudly agreed, followed by the other Gems, while the Crystal Gems watched gobsmacked at what was going on, and Black Rutile's smile widened with intrigue.

"So this is his idea of fun, exploiting beautiful women?" Black Rutile purred curiously. "His powers just get curiouser and curiouser."

--

As the beauty contest began with Zuli, Pyrope, Emerald, Garnet, Desert Glass, Apatite, Blue Pearl, and Cat's Eye as contestants, with Amethyst, Teal Zircon, and Yellow Pearl as judges, this gave Black Rutile the perfect opportunity to conduct her research in private while everyone was distracted.

"Rasputina, get over here!" Black Rutile called for the sorceress, who appeared before her dressed in a black bandeau bikini with a matching sunhat and sunglasses. "You've been waiting to join us on the beach, have you?"

"What gave it away?" Rasputina nonchalantly asked before sitting down next to Black Rutile. "What have you gathered on Flipso so far?"

"It seems that at the moment, Flipso can only conjure things into existence with a snap of his fingers." Black Rutile analyzed. "But if he were to restore his physical form, his abilities could cause the breakdown of all reality as we know it!"

"Exactly!" Flipso replied. "Also, how you doin'? Care for a little candlelight dinner later?"

"Get bent." Rasputina snarked at the god before looking at Black Rutile surfing Yatter. "So what's this supposed to be?"

"Some kind of right-wing human that Sally led me to." Black Rutile said. "Some guy named Reginald Johnson who leads an anti-Crystal Gem white supremacist group because he thinks they're 'toxic feminists' who will lead to humankind's destruction. Take a look at this." She clicked on a video of a stereotypical Southerner in a ten-gallon hat, a wifebeater covered in bandoliers, and a bushy beard sitting at a desk.

"Now you may be wondering, how could I hate a group of people I've never met who probably don't know I exist?!" Reginald Johnson ranted on the video. "Well, I don't like what they're putting in the Earth that turns the freaking rocks gay! Do you understand that?! They're no better than those mentally ill preschoolers who think they're fighting climate change or everyone who says I can't have a crush on this fictional candy mascot!"

As Reginald continued, Black Rutile, Flipso, and Rasputina were just about to start laughing. "Well then, whose bright idea was it to depict the candy as a beautiful woman, huh?! The world is a cruel parent but an effective teacher too. Its final lesson is carved deep into our psyches: that the world, and all its people, are diseased! Free will is a joke because we'll all soon become nothing more than mindless puppets for the minorities of this world!"

"Okay, I think that's enough racism for today." Flipso muttered before shutting off the video. "This guy has potential! It's a wonder that Sally babe has so much interest in him; they're almost alike!"

"That's not untrue." Rasputina nodded in reply. "They are both openly prejudiced against the norm, but Reginald is a stereotypical right-winger while Sally is just an opinionated cynic."

--

"Okay, this is becoming a little unorthodox." Pearl commented as she watched the beauty contest continue. "First the crab monster, and now this? What's the meaning of this?"

"Shall we get to the bottom of this?" Peridot suggested. "I think Black Rutile might have something to do with everything happening today."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case." Pearl agreed. "Hello, Black Rutile? Can you come over here, please?"

"Oh no, they're onto us!" Flipso animatedly chattered his teeth in fright. "What do we do? What do we do?!"

"You're the reality-warping horror beyond man's comprehension; you do something!" Black Rutile exclaimed, shaking the creature by its shoulders and forcing him away.

"Okay, if I were a Gem, what could possibly distract me?" Flipso began thinking of another plan while looking towards the Spirit of Competition, still attaching itself to Emerald like a symbiote. "Hey, Compy! Give me a lift here!"

"Sorry, I'm in the middle of something. Be there in a bit!" the Spirit of Competition said before making Emerald strike some model poses for the audience. "Whoo, work it, baby!"

"Well, looks like I'm in a rut here." Flipso proclaimed in defeat when he noticed Pearl making her way through the contestants searching for Black Rutile. "Indiana Jones, I hope you're watching!"

With a snap of Flipso's fingers, the judges turned their gaze to Pearl and made their decision. "And the winner is Pearl!" Amethyst exclaimed. "Wait, what?"

"I'm the winner?" Pearl gasped in shock just as Black Rutile scurried away.

"She's the winner, I guess." Yellow Pearl added.

"More like I'm the winner!" Flipso laughed victoriously as everyone slowly agreed that Pearl was a last-minute shoo-in.

"I mean, Pearl certainly is very cute." Blue Pearl realized, making the other Pearl blush. "She deserved to win."

"I'll allow it!" Emerald remarked in defeat before walking away.

"Congratulations, Pearl." Garnet said while giving Pearl a hearty pat on the shoulder. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"I swear, Black Rutile is up to something, and this contest was a part of it!" Pearl exclaimed.

"Pearl, Black Rutile is up to a lot of things." Bismuth replied. "You need to be more specific."

--

Soon, the sun began to set on Beach City, meaning it was almost time for everyone to go home. However, everybody was hesitant to leave so soon, so to counter this, Garnet got the idea of starting a bonfire to end the day.

"There, nice and toasty." Garnet said as the Gems gathered around the fire.

"Yes, this isn't half bad." Morganite agreed with Garnet while putting her hands out towards the flame. "It's just nice to have some time to relax once in a while."

"So, anything else we should do before we leave?" Snowflake Obsidian asked.

"Ooh, let's tell each other scary stories!" Bixbite suggested.

"Been there, done that." Dumortierite said.

"Anyone else got an idea?" Tiger’s Eye added.

"I feel like roasting the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep boiled in its own stomach over the fire." Teal stated, much to the disgust of everyone else.

"Delicious!" Larimar agreed with Teal, grossing everybody out even more.

"Weirdos." Squaridot muttered.

"We could sing songs together." Topaz made her own suggestion.

"Great idea Topaz and I know just the one!" Pearl exclaimed before she pulled Steven's ukulele from her gem and started to play. "Isn't this such a beautiful night? Whoa, we're underneath a thousand shining stars. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?"

Black Rutile rolled her eyes not too far from the bonfire as the song continued. "Look at this place; look at your faces. I've never seen you look like this before. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?"

"Aw, look at the adorable mom friend." Flipso smirked at Pearl's performance while the Gems began clapping along. "Too bad I'm gonna have to obliterate her soon."

"You got that right." Black Rutile proclaimed.

"Look at this place; look at your faces. They're shining like a thousand shining stars. Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?" Pearl continued singing into the night. "Why don't you let yourself just be somewhere different? Whoa, why don't you let yourself just be whoever you are?"

--

Aw, that was a pretty wholesome ending and a much-needed breather from all the drama of last chapter. But don't think we'll be devolving into quote-unquote "filler episodes" when we only have six to seven chapters left of story to go through! I mean, some mix of Alex Jones, Tucker Carlson, Ben Shapiro, and Will Harangue has caught the attention of Black Rutile, in addition to the unholy love child of Lily Orchard and Mindy Kaling's Velma already on her side! What could possibly come from three sociopaths coming together? Well, we'll just have to find out soon because in the meantime, Holly Blue takes the spotlight as the Famethyst visit Little Homeworld. Given how I've been tormenting Holly her entire stay here, this should be fun.

[afaimsarrowverse]

250(ish) Favorite Arrowverse Episodes: Part 3: 200-176

Picked from „Arrow“, „Black Lightning“, „Supergirl“, „Legends of Tomorrow“, „The Flash“, „Barwoman“ Season 1+2 and „Superman & Lois“ Season 1+2. I did consider kicking „Superman & Lois“ of this list, but since it pretended to be part of the Arrowverse for its first two seasons I left it on here.

 200. White Knights (Legends of Tomorrow 1x4)

4, Written by: Sarah Nicole Jones, Phil Klemmer, Directed by: Antonio Negret

 "Don't trouble yourself. I'm not a damsel in distress." "Good, because I'm not a white knight."

 199. The Sound and the Fury (The Flash 1x11)

11, Written by: Alison Shapker, Brooke Eikmeier, Directed by: John Showalter

 "Smart enough to figure out who Harrison Wells really is, you see I know his secret."

 198. The Chicago Way (Legends of Tomorrow 2x8)

24, Written by: Sarah Nicole Jones, Ray Utarnachitt, Directed by: Ralph Hemecker

 "Why am I not surprised? Wherever Darhk is, you're not too far away."

 197. City of Heroes (Arrow 2x1)

24, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggenheim, Andrew Kreisberg, Directed by: John Behring

 "The city still needs saving. But not by The Hood. Or some vigilante who's just crossing names off a list. It needs something... more." "It needs a hero, Oliver."

 196. Kara (Supergirl 6x20)

126, Written by: Jessica Queller, Robert Rovner, Rob Wright, Derek Simon, Directed by: Jesse Warn

 "Oh, Kira, I always have a point. Now, let's take a look at everything that Supergirl and Kara Danvers have accomplished separately. And then let's imagine what you could do if you became one integrated, authentic being."

 195. The One with the Nineties (The Flash 7x6)

139, Written by: Kelly Wheeler, Emily Palizzi, Directed by: Jeff Byrd

 "I think we just time traveled."

"For real? So we gonna party like it's 1998?"

 194. Menagerie (Supergirl 4x12)

77, Written by: Robert Rovner, Daniel Beaty, Greg Baldwin, Directed by: Stefan Pleszczynski

 „We protected the humans of this city by killing a monster. Not even Supergirl could do that."

 193. Grinning from Ear to Ear (Batwoman 1x14)

14, Written by: Denise Harkavy, Directed by: Michael Blundell

 "You're right. As long as I am with the woman who wears a mask, I'll always be wearing one myself."

 192. The Flash is born (The Flash 1x6)

6, Written by: Jaime Paglia, Chris Rafferty, Directed by: Millicent Shelton

 "Looks like you were born to take a beating."

 191. The Legion of Doom (Legends of Tomorrow 2x10)

26, Written by: Phil Klemmer, Marc Guggenheim, Directed by: Eric Laneuville

 "I mean, fair question. Why does a time-traveling speedster need to rely on anyone? Thawne's hiding something. Wouldn't you like to know what it is?"

 190. Don’t Run (The Flash 4x9)

78, Written by: Sam Chalsen, Judalina Neira, Directed by: Stefan Pleszczynski

 "The lesson I have prepped for today is much more simple. Life 101: there are no happy endings."

 189. Land of the Lost (Legends of Tomorrow 2x13)

29. Written by: Keto Shimizu, Ray Utanarchitt, Directed by: Ralph Hemecker

 "Rip? That really you?" "I don't know who I am anymore, Mr. Jackson."

 188. Attack on Central City (The Flash 3x14)

60, Written by: Benjamin Raab, Deric A. Hughes, Todd Helbing, Directed by: Dermott Downs

 "No matter what I do to stop Grodd, he just keeps finding new ways to attack, new ways to destroy, and I... Iris doesn't think I should, but the only way this ends is if I kill him."

 187. Love is a Battlefield (The Flash 6x11)

125, Written by: Kelly Wheeler, Jeff Hersh, Directed by: Sudz Sutherland

 "Neither one of you are ever gonna stop growing. I mean, marriage is like a tree. I mean, bear with me. Look, the branches, they grow from the center. They grow farther and farther away from the center, but what you have to remember is underneath, the roots? They're mirroring the branches. They're growing just as much. So you're growing your foundation. Now of course, you gotta tend to the soil, communicate with each other, take care of each other, look out for each other, but as the branches grow, so does your foundation. So you grow together."

 186. Livewire (Supergirl 1x4)

4, Written by: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, Caitlin Parrish, Directed by: Kevin Tancharoen

 "No. Leslie Willis is dead. D-E-A-D. Dead. She died in that CatCopter of yours. This is Leslie 2.0. Livewire. And you and I... we're gonna have words."

 185. Fadeout (Arrow 8x10)

170, Written by: Marc Guggenheim, Beth Schwartz, Directed by: James Bamford

 "Of course, life will go on. It always does. But how? What twists and turns it will take, I can't say. I don't know what the future holds...except to say expect the unexpected. Oliver may be gone, but his mission endures. That mission lives on, Oliver lives on, in the people he inspired. Some will take that mission to the rest of the world...maybe even beyond that. Because if the past eight years has shown us anything...it's that this universe is far bigger than any of us could have dared imagine. Even if it is a little less bright without him in it."

 184. Beyond Redemption (Arrow 4x4)

73, Written by: Beth Schwartz, Ben Sokolowski, Directed by: Lexi Alexander

 "Living in this city, dealing with what we're dealing with right now? We're all desperate. We've all been made to do desperate things. Terrible things. But I got to believe that we are not beyond redemption. And I got to believe that this city can still be saved, 'cause once we stop believing that, that's when this city really dies. And us, us, right along with it. Maybe, just maybe, we start saving our home by saving ourselves first.“

 183. Pilot (Arrow 1x1)

1, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggenheim, Andrew Kreisberg, Directed by: David Nutter

 "The name of the island they found me on is Lian Yu. It's Mandarin for 'purgatory'. I've been stranded here for five years. I've dreamt of my rescue every cold black night since then. For five years, I have had only one thought, one goal: survive. Survive and one day return home. The island held many dangers. To live, I had to make myself more than what I was, to forge myself into a weapon. I am returning not the boy who was shipwrecked but the man who will bring justice to those who have poisoned my city. My name is Oliver Queen."

 182. The Good, the Bad and the Cuddley (Legends of Tomorrow 3x18)

51, Written by: Marc Guggenheim, Phil Klemmer, Directed by: Dermott Downs

 "All right. We're facing an army of Romans, Vikings, and pirates. But you know what today is? Today is the day that we prove that Rip did not sacrifice his life in vain! And today is the day that we prove that we are not losers! And today is the day that we earn the name 'Legends'!“

 181. Draw back your Bow (Arrow 3x7)

53, Written by: Wendy Mericle, Beth Schwartz, Directed by: Rob Hardy

 "I understand that you're hurting... and I know what it's like to want someone... but not be able to be with them. How you wish things could be different, but they can't. I can't be with you. I can't be with anyone. I have to be alone."

 180. Suicide Squad (Arrow 2x16)

39, Written by: Keto Shimizu, Bryan Q Miller, Directed by: Larry Teng

 "Give me a break, this ain't no task force. Let's call it like it is. Welcome to the Suicide Squad."

 179. Uprising (Arrow 3x12)

58, Written by: Beth Schwartz, Brian Ford Sullivan, Directed by: Jesse Warn

 "I've been gone and I'm sorry, sorry for what the city has had to endure in my absence. But you did endure it and the evidence of that struggle is lying at my feet. You did not fail this city and I promise I will not fail you by leaving it again."

 178. Year’s End (Arrow 1x9)

9, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggenheim, Andrew Kreisberg, Directed by: John Dahl

 "What do you want with me?" "What any archer wants. To see who's better. First Hunt, then Ravich, and now you. I know about the List, and the man who authored it wants you dead. They call you 'the Hood'. Let's see what you look like without it."

 177. Armageddon Part 1 (The Flash 8x1)

152, Written by: Eric Wallace, Directed by: Eric Dean Seaton

 „Like a superhero team-up with the Atom?“

 176. Last Sons of Krypton (Superman & Lois 1x15)

15, Written by: Kristi Korzec, Michael Naducci, Brent Fletcher, Todd Helbing, Directed by: Tom Cavanagh

 „All I wanted was a family, Kal.

„You had it. We were brothers.“

[maryjanewatsonparkers]

Jessica’s head was spinning with all kinds of questions and thoughts about Ripley and what she wanted with Luke and Danny or why she even went to Luke and Danny. Ever since that fight with Ripley, the blonde had been avoiding Jessica as much as possible. Jessica liked to think that Ripley understood that there was no way in hell she would ever turn her back on Carol and help the woman. Yet here she was now asking her husband for help? It was suspicious and there was no way that Ripley could make a case that she didn’t know Luke was married to her. Being one of the few public “superheroes”, it was common knowledge that Jessica Jones and Luke Cage were married. “I don’t know,” she admitted. After that one fight that nearly destroyed Hell’s Kitchen, Jessica didn’t really know what was going on with Ripley as she never really kept tabs on the other woman. “But I feel like if you don’t accept it, it could pose more danger. At least if you and Danny accepted it, you both could keep an eye on her.” This was a complicating situation for Jessica. She wanted to protect Carol, she just didn’t know how she was supposed to protect Carol and did she really want her husband involved in this? Shaking her head when he suggested not taking it on, Jessica sighed before going back and sitting at the dinner table where Dani was still sat on her highchair. “No, you should take it on. Don’t let it up that you’re taking it on because you’re investigating her. Just pretend you’re helping her and if it has something to do with me or Carol, tell me,” she planned. 

maryjanewatsonparkers​:

Jessica scoffed at Luke’s attempt at trying to butter her up by talking about his and Dani’s unconditional love for her. If her husband was one thing, it was that he was an exceptionally smooth talker. He had to be if he got her of all people to marry him. “I mean, she’s starting to look more and more like you every day,” she stated, swatting his hand playfully. Sipping on her drink and sitting back as Luke started to talk about other Danny, the brunette furrowed her brows. Her frown deepened at the mention of work that involved Ripley Ryan. A noise of annoyance came out of her mouth and she shook her head at the thought of her husband talking to and working with someone like Ripley Ryan. “Ask Danny what this thing has to do with that woman. I don’t trust her,” she mumbled. Jessica was not a fan of Ripley Ryan and absolutely despised the woman. If it were up to her, Ripley would have been locked up in Ryker’s Island or the Raft. After everything that woman had done to, Jessica’s best friend Carol and the obsession she had with Carol, Jessica knew Ripley was not a good person. “If it is anything but trying to send Ripley to Ryker’s Island, I want you to have no part of it.” Jessica was not one to tell Luke what he could and couldn’t do. She trusted him explicitly and she trusted that anything he did was for the good of their family, but this was one thing Jessica just couldn’t see past. “That woman has been after Carol since Carol was Ms. Marvel. She’s a weirdo who is out to get Carol for no goddamn reason.” Getting up from the table, she grabbed her plate and glass and headed to the kitchen. Jessica kissed the top of Dani’s head on the way there before sighing and placing the plate and glass on the sink. “She tried to ask me for help once,” Jessica revealed. “Before you, when I was going through all that with the Purple Man. Carol was the only few that stuck by me and helped me through all that. Ripley showed up asking for my help with Carol. Of course I said no, and we got into a fight. Nearly destroyed half of Manhattan.”

Luke was a little taken aback by the way Jessica reacted to this new job that he was going to do with Danny. It wasn’t very often that his wife told him not to do certain jobs. Usually, she just told him to be careful, but that was the extent of it. She’d never taken any issue with any job he and Danny have done before. So he was naturally curious as to why his wife suddenly found an issue now. Hearing her reveal that she had history with Ripley, his eyes widened with surprise. He couldn’t remember Jessica ever having told him this before. Granted, the two of them have faced a lot of villains trying to kill them, so there were some stories he hadn’t told her just because it went without saying it was something they’ve both gone through, but were were the chances that the person who once had beef with his wife was now hiring him? Did Ripley know that he was the other half of the heroes for hire? Now he had wished he’d asked Danny more information about this job. But Danny usually took care of this. Luke trusted his best friend enough to never really question him. Sure there’d been some oddball jobs they’ve taken on, but nothing that ever had Luke questioning continuing this business endeavor with Danny. “She’s gone all hero now, though. She goes by Star. Do you think she’s capable of changing?” He asked her. Luke began to wonder if this was all some elaborate scheme for her to get to Jessica. Was she secretly trying to get revenge? But why now? He couldn’t get ahead of himself, though. He still didn’t even know of Riley knew that he was part of this, let alone that he was married to Jessica Jones. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we shouldn’t take this on.” The pay that Danny told him it would be would’ve have been good, but if this woman was out to get his wife, that wasn’t something he’d be willing to risk.

[inprometheanfire-archive]

HEADCANON !!

thinking of what ALL my female muses smell like::

Milady de Winter - jasmine 

Vanessa Ives - lily of the valley, cypress, sandalwood

Theodora - smoky incense, sweet spice, bergamot

Lucille Sharpe - Turkish rose, vanilla musk

Caterina Sforza - pomegranate, red wine, dried fruit

Jessica Jones - soap, laundry detergent, fruity floral

Fiona Goode - gardenia, tuberose, spice

Cheryl Blossom - rose, ylang ylang, lemon

Anne Bonny - cedar, sea foam, orris root

Andy of Scythia - citrus floral, patchouli, agarwood

Elva Hess - fresh moss, wet grass, honeysuckle

Esmee Harrington - almond toffee, marshmallow, peony

Ximena Flores - whiskey, honey, orange blossom

Mireille Santos - green apple, watermelon, sugar

[ceterisparibus116]

What do you think of Matt as lawyer? I know we don't really get to see much of that side of him on the show and I'm not really into the comics (are you?) but still 🤔

Ooh this is such a broad question.

If we count the Frank Castle trial, then he's terrible. I hate to say it and I personally find that entire situation out-of-character. I think it was terrible writing. Matt wouldn't turn his back on a client like Elena or Aaron James or even Jessica Jones, and we're supposed to believe he wouldn't bother to prioritize Frank Castle's case? Why, because Frank Castle's a murderer? Congratulations, that destroys the significance of Matt's belief in redemption...y'know, one of the key parts of his character.

So yeah, I hate it and I honestly think it was so inconsistent with the rest of his character (at least in the show; comics!Matt can be more of a jerk) that I don't count it.

Also, the writers seemed to, like, actively disregard trial procedure. I don't know how else they could fail at things so spectacularly. So that's another reason I'm disregarding it, because otherwise I'd have to say Matt, Foggy, Reyes, Blake, and even the judge are all just awful.

Ahem.

Aside from that, I think he's at least decent. No defense attorney worth anything would agree to waive discovery the way Matt and Foggy did in S1E3, and that would be their call, not their client, since tactical decisions are always the lawyer's decision (even though the client can decide certain other things, like whether to take a deal or whether to take the stand and testify). And given that Matt was interested in that trial for investigatory reasons, demanding discovery could have been really enlightening. But the show had different priorities. Given that, I think his closing argument was about as good as you can expect (more on that in response to another ask). He didn't hammer on the specifics of the law as much as I think he should have (he should've spelled out each element the State had to prove and pointed the jury to their jury instruction explaining self defense), but I think he did a good job laying the facts out objectively and zeroing in on the reasonable doubt issue. He didn't try to make the State look evil, he didn't try to make his client look like an angel. He stayed objective. Doing this earns and keeps a jury's trust.

It was fun getting to see him look for other complaints against Tully (what is that, S1E5?) even though we didn't get to see the fruit of it. That kind of investigation is so key because it means you no longer just have your client as a witness; you now have all these other potential witnesses and all their written statements.

The Aaron James cross-examination gives me utter delight. Technically he didn't follow all the proper procedure (you have to "lay more foundation" before you admit a document into evidence, and you can't just ask for something to be admitted and then keep asking questions; you have to wait for the judge to decide whether it's admitted into evidence or not). But I can overlook that because I love the argument he was making: arguing from what isn't there. That just takes some sideways thinking that not everyone is capable of, and even those who are capable of it may not think to go there.

One last specific scene I'll point out is his "cross-examination" of Ray. I LOVE IT. As far as I can tell, Matt is doing three things here:

Figuring out if Ray really is a good person at his core (which isn't a strictly legal question, although it's still relevant because Matt and Foggy will have to live with whatever happens during Ray's case);

Testing Ray to see if he can withstand harsh questioning (always good to know because a witness might tell a great narrative in your office, and then take the stand and absolutely fold, and now you're worse off than if your client had taken a plea deal); and

Identifying the best argument for use in advocating for Ray (because in addition to letting Ray tell his story, Matt and Foggy also have to be able to tell Ray's story).

And I just love it because all of those are things you have to do in real life when you're dealing with a witness.

Aside from specific scenes, I want to highlight three general traits of Matt's. The first is his studiousness. Law is all about details and it's all about research; you can be a great public speaker, and you'll still be a terrible advocate if you don't know how to interpret statutes and look up case law showing how similar cases have been decided before (and why). Matt's a nerd, so I have no reason to believe he wouldn't be good at this.

I also think Matt's a good writer. (Comics!Matt, canonically, is not lol.) And writing is key for practicing law! Netflix!Matt's manner of speaking is similar to how lawyers are supposed to write: he puts the conclusion first, and then logically unpacks it. This is different from Foggy and Karen, who both tend to jump around from Point A to Point C to Point F sometimes. Which isn't to say that Foggy and Karen aren't also good writers; it's just that one reason why I think Matt is a good writer is because the way he organizes ideas when he talks proves that he knows how to organize ideas well in general, and I see no reason why that skill wouldn't be applied to writing.

Finally, we do have to touch on his charm, confidence, and conventional attractiveness. Sure, we know he's a human disaster. But put him in a courtroom, and he generally seems very cool and collected, and let's be real, he looks amazing in a suit. Cases shouldn't be decided by any of these factors, but jurors are human, and they're swayed by biases.

An interesting contrast to me is Foggy's opening statement in the Healy case vs Matt's closing argument. True, this was given at a point when Foggy was less confident in his abilities as a lawyer. But he was not nearly as charismatic as Matt. He got right up to the jury box and jammed his finger on the railing to make his points. This kind of behavior might be warranted in a particularly contentious case, but in an opening statement (when no witnesses have even been presented yet), it's more likely to come across like the attorney is overcompensating.

Vs Matt, who gave the closing argument. This is after all the evidence has been admitted, the witnesses have testified, and the prosecutor has given their closing argument. If there's ever a time to mask defensiveness with offensiveness, it's a defense closing argument. But Matt's body language doesn't communicate any defensiveness. He stands a comfortable distance away from the jury with his hands loosely grasping his cane. He's not stiff, but he's still, and speaks in an even tone. He doesn't give any indication that he feels threatened at all by the prosecutor or the facts of the case; he appears calmly certain that the jury will do their jobs and find his client not guilty. This kind of demeanor is generally way more effective at persuading a jury than Foggy's.

That said, Matt does need to watch his facial expressions. He has zero poker face when he's sitting down, and he'd better hope the jury doesn't look at him. (They are looking at him, though. The jury is always looking.)

But overall, although I don't think we have enough information to know if he's technically a great lawyer, I do think Matt is...

wait for it...

a Really Good Lawyer.

[pastafossa]

I got tagged @etherealwiitch​​ to show off 9 of my favorite characters!

I’m going to try to go for characters I did not choose for my last one (except for Matt, he’s always here). As always, it’s REALLY difficult to pick just nine, since I love love LOVE so many diff characters, so here’s another random assortment of nine of my babies.

In random order:

"You don’t get to destroy who I am!” Matt Murdock, Daredevil.

"Rawr.” Rexy, Jurassic Park

"Into the garbage chute, fly boy.” Princess Leia, the Star Wars film series

“We will fight, we will sacrifice, and we will find a way. That's what humans do.” Commander Jane Shepard, the Mass Effect game trilogy

"Oh baby, you are so talented... and they are so dumb.” Sheriff Bart, Blazing Saddles film 

"Would you put day drinking under ‘experience’ or ‘special skills?’” Jessica Jones, the Jessica Jones series 

“You guys must be studying the abridged book of Ninja fighting.” Raphael, TMNT film series

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.” Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation

"It’s just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book...” Evie O'Connell, The Mummy

No Pressure tags: @briefcasejuice @mamasama @kittysama7​ @thenerdlordparade and anyone else who wants to do it!

[breckstonevailskier]

And Jessica knows better, I think, and should have acted more selfishly, than to send her last family left to rot in jail when she knows she's eventually an addict who needed help. A crazed, homicidal addict sure but she did just lose her mother.

Especially considering that Jessica's connection to Trish is arguably a bit stronger than that which she had with her mom.

And doubly so when one considers that Jessica could've easily prevented Trish's downfall if she'd done a few things differently. For instance, I'd say it was a big betrayal on Jessica's part (from Trish's perspective) to destroy the evidence against Sallinger to protect Trish from being charged with attacking him in response to him murdering Dorothy. She should've instead let Trish make the decision on whether or not to turn herself in and take responsibility for her actions.

By doing what she did, Jessica made it impossible for Trish to make her own choice to take responsibility for attacking Sallinger. Because of Jessica's decision, Trish would've been left having to tell the police "I'm the one who attacked Gregory Sallinger. Oh, and Jessica Jones also went into your evidence lockup and destroyed the one piece of evidence you could've used to put him away."

See, here's what likely happens in a timeline where Patsy Walker is caught saving people from being victims of criminal violence, and later attacking the person who killed her mother: she's likely hailed as a hero by the press (especially a press who've seen the many failures by the police when it's come to criminals like Fisk, Kilgrave, and Sallinger over the past few years), and her conviction about Sallinger being a murderer is supported by the evidence they'd procured linking him to the prior murders. Or, maybe Trish doesn't turn herself in, Sallinger runs his mouth and tries to paint himself as a victim of Trish, but Trish denies everything and ultimately no one believes a word Sallinger has to say after they learn about how he killed his best friend.

Belated Jessica Jones rant

Ever since the show started there's been the recurring theme of Jessica doing things by the book: get proof, get criminal, send to jail.

So when Jessica encountered the first antagonist AKA Kilgrave, she tries her routine while also knowing that no normal jail can hold him, so she tries the next best alternative to that but when all fails, she ends up forced to kill him.

In season 2, Alisa is the antagonist. Again she tries her routine but when Alisa does go to jail, it's the wrong kind, she's too strong and unstable for normal prison, (despite having accepted a deal which would not send her to The Raft) and because that fails, she ends up dead too.

In season 3, Trish is the secondary antagonist, and she forces Jessica's hand to fight her. Eventually she does send her to jail, the "right" kind according to Jessica, The Raft. And it works, Jessica sacrifices her best friend, the only family she has left in order to not have her end up like the other antagonists whose stints in confinement did not work.

And I suppose it does seem like a consistent sequence of events for the series but it does not make it a fair one. Because how do you send the weakest of the antagonists to the strongest of prisons?

Is it because Trish was never arrested by the NYPD first? Because they did not have the great Jeri Hogarth who can strike deals out of thin air representing Trish? Because the evidence against Alisa Jones is much more damning than anything Trish did (literally just killed criminals).

IMO it was a cop out by writers who knew the series was ending with no future plans of a reboot, and wanted to leave with a bang. Not a bad watch at all, but sure a messed up one.

[ancientphantom]

June has passed and we have... well, some things, anyway! This may be one of the most eclectic months ever and frankly, I love it.

Heart of a Wounded Hero: Soldier’s Symphony by Emma Bray is a modern-day-set romance novel featuring a hero named Eric who has been severely scarred by wartime injuries and has become a recluse, composing music but refusing to interact with the world even as they applaud his compositions. But when he hears a singer named Harper perform on television and becomes fixated on her, all bets are off. (I don’t know if Harper’s name is a callout to Jessica Harper, who played the Christine character Phoenix in Phantom of the Paradise, or just a musical-sounding name, but it’s on theme either way!)

The Observer Effect by Nick Jones is part of a science fiction series about time travelers who visit various periods of history to prevent timeline-destroying disasters, and this time they’re going to nineteenth century Paris, where something very distressing is happening at the opera. It looks like this one might need a little more knowledge of the series to fully get what all the recurring characters are about; it doesn’t seem designed as a standalone.

Razorback Hollow by Rene Moore is a completely different book from Heart of a Wounded Hero, but you could be forgiven for not realizing it from the blurb: it, too, is a modern-day romance version in which scarred wilderness man Eric falls in love with a beautiful young woman and upends his entire life about it. This time, however, everyone is in the mountains of West Virginia and there are various action accidents involved, and a feud!

Scent of Obsession by Shanen Ricci owes more to a straight retelling of the Beauty & the Beast fable than the Phantom story from the blurb, but the brooding Gothic main character is referred to as “the Phantom” at least occasionally, so it’s making it onto the list! Interestingly, the focus of his obsession, Lily, is a budding perfumier who wants to make beautiful scents, so that’s an art form we haven’t seen in a Phantom story yet, I think. (No idea if it’s related to Patrick Suskind’s harrowing novel Perfume, but that’d be a fabulous crossover for the Phantom story, as both are about obsession born from love affairs with the perceptions of specific senses!)

The Showstopper by Kyle Robertson is an interesting one; set in the 1920s, it features a masked Phantom who isn’t confined to a single opera house and instead haunts an entire theater district, disrupting performances at ALL the venues. I don’t think it’s a riff on any of the other early-20th-century Phantom sequels or pieces, like The Phantom of Manhattan or its musical progeny Love Never Dies, but if it is, it’s going a much more action and murder direction.

Symbolum Venatores by Ty’ron W.C. Robinson II is a collection of stories about a time-traveler (or immortal? It’s hard to tell!), Gabriel Kane, who has been present at real-life versions of the stories of historical classics. Which includes our Phantom, who appears in the last story in the collection, “The Phantom of the Opera”, although I have no idea what the premise is beyond that. (No, no apparent connection to Gabriel Knight, the main character from a series of games by Jane Jensen, who also did Gray Matter to get into the Phantom game later.)

And then there’s this mess:

This is... well, something is going on here, but I’m not sure what. See, it looks like there are five books above, but actually there are only two. Nocturne and The Opera’s Specter have the exact same text, down to the formatting, from what I can tell in their previews, and Life in Motion, The Opera’s Front Steps, and The Phantom of the Opera’s Story all have the same text as one another as well. I tried slinging a few lines into search engines and didn’t find anything, but I’m wary that these may be stolen/repackaged fanfiction, especially because all the books above are under different authors’ names - from left to right, Gregg Amster, Abdul Scaiano, Dale Kralicek, Keira Gramberg, and Billy Paddack. (Frankly, the authors’ names sound a bit like what you’d get thrown up by a procedurally generating AI trying to come up with original names, but I don’t want to say that for sure. Sometimes real-life people just have weird names.) Even weirder, the Kindle and physical editions of the exact same book are listed under different names - Nocturne shows up as by an “Oswaldo Ballow” in its hard copy form, for example, and The Opera’s Specter as being by a “Leticia Nibler”, while the hard copy of The Phantom of the Opera’s Story is listed as being by “Lucas McGougan.”

It’s possible it’s just a case of a seller changing their mind about what they want to call their book AND about their pen name at the same time, and not taking the old editions off of Amazon after putting in the new ones. The next best possible scenario is it’s a legitimate book, but its author is trying to scam (or more charitably just isn’t very good at this and is making an ill-advised effort at marketing) readers into buying multiple different copies of the same work. But it’s unbearably fishy. (So are the prices - who is out here charging this much for self-published Kindle books, and what kind of weird rounding resulted in asking for $8.69? It’s also notable that all of them ask for this weird price, for the most part, which makes it seem less than coincidental.)

As an aside, this is the point where I’m going to have to officially give up on being the fandom whistleblower for stolen art on Amazon, simply because I can’t keep up anymore. This month I counted eight new “coloring books” entirely made of stolen art from multiple artists, and most of them were under different scam accounts. If you’re a fandom artist, I suggest searching “<fandom name> coloring book” and “<fandom name> trivia” on Amazon semi-regularly so you can report anything that features your work. (Actually, you might want to look into editions of Leroux’s work, too, because it may be in public domain but the sellers who keep stealing art to put on the covers appear to mistakenly think that applies to all related artwork, too.)