#despite what i said the other day i do think i have a truly singular existence | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

forever-rogue · 1 year ago

Note

Hello there Bee, your writing for Miguel O'Hara was perfect, thank you so much for it 🫂

I was wondering if you could do one where he's so deeply in love with her but doesn't want to tell her because he's afraid of being rejected, he wants to protect her so they always go to missions together until one day she gets hurt and because he's afraid of loosing her, he finally tells her how he's been feeling for a long time

Thank you so much c:

AN | It’s been a minute but here we are with some more grumpy x sunshine! I hope you enjoy 🥰

Warnings | Nondescript mentions of violence, Language

Pairing | Miguel x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 3k

Masterlist | Main, Spider-Man

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Inhale. Exhale.

That's what you kept repeating to yourself as you approached the front doors to the Spider Headquarters. Your heart beat around your chest but you tried to push away all your worries and insecurities.

Well - the one major worry you had anyway. Most things didn't scare you anymore, you were well past that point in your life. It was one singular person that made you nervous. Miguel O'Hara.

The man that appeared to hate you more than anything or anyone else. You weren't even sure what you had done to bring on the hatred but it had appeared slowly at first and then all at once. Now you just tried to avoid him as much as you could, but in the event that you were faced with him, you tried to be as kind as possible. There was no reason to be mean, right? You hoped that one day Miguel might get that memo as well.

When you got inside, you looked around and tried to see if anything seemed out of place or…if there was some sort of chaos. But it all seemed utterly normal so you walked towards your little desk area.

"Hey there!" You startled at the sound of Peter's bright and happy voice, spinning around in your chair to find him watching you with an overly cheery smile, "how're you today?"

"I'm just peachy, Pete. What's going on?" The man's face flushed and you knew immediately that something was going on. He was so easy to read despite his best efforts.

"Umm…well," he waved his hands around for a moment, stammering nervous as you just stared at him, "well, I don't…your day might get worse."

"Oh?" You leaned back in your chair as you raised an eyebrow at him, "and just why is that? What do you know that I don't?"

"You're supposed to be partnered with…Miguel today," he said it so quickly that you almost didn't catch it. But the name stood out so clearly that you were immediately able to figure out what was going on, "just so you know, you know?"

"How do you know that?"

"Word spreads fast around here," he volunteered lamely, as you sighed at him, "and ugh, it might be my fault."

"What?!" He was afraid of exactly this reaction and flinched slightly, "Peter - why?"

"I have to be home today," he cleared his throat, "big family thing with MJ and Mayday. So…you know."

"Fine," you pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration, "fine. Only because I love your wife and daughter as much if not more than you."

"I am so sorry," he grimaced, "I'll make it up to you somehow."

"It's…it's fine," you swallowed the lump in your throat. It did suck…but you'd live and would just be as kind as usual. And it would be over before you knew it, "this is going to be…fantastic."

“Just don’t kill each other and it should all be fine,” Peter kept taking a few steps back, creating a further distance between the two of you, “and then we can all resume our normal programming next week!”

“I don’t hate him,” your voice softened as a frown tugged down the corners of your mouth. You truly didn’t hate him and you hated the idea that people would think you did. You always tried to treat everyone with the same kindness and you were known for being a ray of sunshine, “I think… I think he might hate me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Peter shrugged slightly as you sighed lightly, “he’s just that way with everyone. He’s a huge douche, you know that.”

“As much as I appreciate your opinions Parker,” both of you froze at the sound of his voice. He sounded just as annoyed and frustrated as ever, “I believe you were supposed to leave already to get back to your wife and daughter, no?”

“Uhh, yup…that’s…gotta go!” he looked between the two of you before offering you a small grimace and turning to basically sprint away. You bit the inside of your cheek before turning your attention to the man in question.

“Miguel, I-”

“Get suited up,” he didn’t even spare you an actual glance. He merely caught your eye before turning around to leave again, “we’re leaving in twenty. We’ve got a job to do.”

“Miguel.”

“Don’t be late,” he was already walking away again and all you could do was sigh, “or I will leave with you.”

Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool. This apparently was going to be the absolute worst; part of you was almost tempted to be late just so you wouldn’t have to go. You weren’t feeling very welcome but at the same time, your duties were important and you weren’t about to let him go alone.

“Well then,” you attempted to psych yourself up, “let’s do this…and get it over with.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Miguel had been silent, to the point of it being almost eerie, besides giving you some instructions and directions. You'd tried to make some small talk at the start but the only responses you received were grunts or scoffs. It had definitely deflated your mood and after a while you gave up and remained silent.

"Hey," Miguel waved his hand in front of your face as you snapped back into attention. You hadn't realized you'd spaced out so much, "are you even paying attention?"

"Y-yeah…yes," you offered him a tight smile as he hung his head with a heavy sigh, "sorry. Could you just run that by me again?"

"I need you to focus," he caught your eye and there was a dangerous glint to him that caused you to swallow thickly, "otherwise I'll send you right back and this is the last time you'll get to go on a mission."

"That's not fair!" You hadn't meant to sound like a petulant child, but at least you hadn't also stomped your foot. His jaw twitched as he glared at you, "you've never said that to anyone-"

"Morales."

"He's a child," you ran a hand through your hair in exasperation, "this isn't fair, Miguel and you know that. Why do you hate me so much?"

If you'd been looking at his face you'd have noticed the way his face fell momentarily. You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to control the squeaking and stop the tears that threatened to well up.

"You're also so mean to me!" Alright. Maybe you were already sounding hysterical but it was a lot of emotions at once, "its always me! I try to be nice, Miguel. I don't like not being nice, it's just…not in my nature. But you make it so hard. A-and I'm not asking for anything spectacular, just a hello once a while or at least don't totally ignore me when I'm talking to you!"

“Are you finished?” his tone was the same as it always was: cold and calm and calculated. You tried to blink away the burning of your eyes.

“No,” you put your hands on your hips and stared him down, “if you’re going to be mean to me or act like I’m the worst thing in the world, can you at least tell me what I did to offend you so much? I mean - why even have me working with you and the rest of the team if you don’t trust me or think I’m worthy of being here! If I’m such a horrible person, just cut me loose and let me go so you never have to see me again!”

By the time you were done, angry tears had run down your cheeks which you hastily brushed away. You felt like you had just put your heart and feelings on the line and he didn’t seem phased. He looked at you with a raised eyebrow before sighing heavily, “if you’re done, we’ve got some bad guys to catch.”

“Y-you’re not even going to say anything to what I just said?” your lip trembled with effort not to cry further. He’d already turned his back to you and started to walk away. Only this time, you didn’t run after him to catch up, “fine! You know what? I quit! Do this yourself!”

You didn’t even wait for a response before turning on your heel and walking in the other direction. You were already out of sight by the time Miguel turned around and realized that you’d been serious. He ran a hand over his face in exasperation before stomping after you, muttering under his breath. He hadn’t wanted this at all; especially because this meant that he couldn’t keep any eye on you.

“Hey!” you’d been walking around for a bit when you finally heard the angry voice. Your shoulders stiffened when you realized that Miguel had found you. Instead of giving him the satisfaction of falling back to him, you kept walking with your head held high. But then you felt a harsh hand wrap your bicep and pull you back.

“What the f-”

“Finally,” oh. That voice definitely wasn’t Miguel. You slowly turned around and found yourself with…well, the bad guy. He looked at you with a wicked smile that caused goosebumps to well up all over your skin, “I’ve been looking for you, little Spider. Only I was hoping you’d be with that big, dumb guy.”

“Listen buddy,” you tried to pull out of his iron grasp to no avail, “I’m already having a shitty day and I don’t need you making it worse. The big dumb guy isn’t around, it’s just me unfortunately. And I recommend you let me go before I make you regret your decision.”

“You’re so funny,” he leaned closer so he was almost face to face with you. He smelled terrible and looked even worse; the worst realization of all was that he was a murderer…and you were alone with him, “you really think you could stop me all by yourself? So cute.”

He reached out and ran his hand along your jaw, instantly making you feel disgusting and gross. Your heart started beating rapidly and you willed yourself to regain your muster and strength. It should have been so easy to overpower him, but he was surprisingly strong. That was one of the worst things about dealing with other powered beings…someone always had the upper hand.

“Let me go,” you hissed through gritted teeth.

“Why don’t we make a deal?” he took your jaw harshly in his hand turned your face to his, “help me catch Miguel O’Hara and I’ll let you go.”

“Nope,” you might not have been in the Miguel fanclub at this point but you weren’t about to betray him or put anyone else at risk. You figured that the longer you were able to stall, it might give Miguel more time to get to you and take him. You’d never hear the end of it, but it was better than nothing, “sorry buddy.”

“Bitch!” he let go and pushed you back before striking you across the face, causing you to stumble and trip over your feet. You feel onto your backside with a groan before touching your stinging face, “it could have been so easy! We both want the same thing - to get rid of the Spider!”

“I don’t want to get rid of him,” you tried to scramble to your feet as he loomed over you but your hope was quickly starting to dissipate, “he-he’s fine! The only person I want to get rid of you is you!”

“Too bad,” he cackled before shrugging his shoulders, “I hate to break the news to you, but you’re not getting rid of me. I’ll be getting rid of you…and eventually that big idiot will come looking for you and then I’ll have him too. A two or one deal - can you imagine? What a dream!”

“Hate to break it to you,” your hands before getting scraped up as you tried to pull yourself out of his reach, “but he’s not going to come looking for me. He doesn’t care that much.”

“Don’t kid yourself,” you couldn’t hold back the scream that escaped your lips as he stepped on your ankle and crushed it under his boot, “you’re a pretty face, that’s enough for most men to come running. It’s almost a shame to kill you but-”

The next thing you heard was a sickening crack before the pressure on your ankle was gone. You opened your eyes and looked around the alley, only to find your would-be murderer on the ground and bleeding. A choked up sound escaped your lips as you looked up to find Miguel standing over you.

You prepared yourself for him to begin yelling but, to your immense surprise, it never came. Instead you watched dumbly as he bent down and scooped into your arms and stood back up with you clutched to his chest.

He studied you for a moment before tenderly wiping away the little bit of blood that had trickled down from the corner of your mouth. You had never realized that he could actually have such a gente touch.

For a few moments he walked in silence before letting a heavy sigh and shaking his head, “I don’t hate you. I never did.”

Your brow furrowed in surprise but you remained silent. Your head felt foggy and you weren’t sure you wanted to push anything just yet. All you wanted to do was go home and get some rest.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A few days had passed since the incident with Miguel and you felt well recovered, except for the faint bruising that remained on your face. Really, though, that was the least of your worries. Ever since then, you’d been trying your best to avoid Miguel, while continuing to be surprised that he hadn’t booted you from the team yet.

“Hey,” you froze at the sound of his voice and turned around to find Miguel standing at the edge of your cubicle space. You swallowed thickly before squeaking out a response that made you cringe internally, “can we talk?”

“Umm…yes?” you looked at him and waited for him to make the next move. He turned and motioned for you to follow him. It felt like some sort of walk of shame as you trailed after him like a puppy. He didn’t stop, ignoring the whispers and titters from the other Spider-People as he beelined for his office. You kept your gaze trained on your feet and almost ran into him when he suddenly stopped, “oof.”

“Sorry,” you’d never heard him apologize before. Odd. He closed the door behind and leaned against it, “listen, I think we need to clear some things up.”

“We do?”

“Mhmm,” this time he found it difficult to look in your eyes as you hopped up and sat at the edge of his desk, swinging your legs, “I just…I don’t want you to think that I hate you know or ever hated you. It’s never been like that.”

“Could have fooled me,” you shrugged slightly, already having made peace with his dislike of you.

“I know, I…fuck,” he ran a hand over his face in exasperation, “It was supposed to be easier this way.”

“What way?”

“If you hated me,” he finally managed to get out as you blinked at him owlishly, “then it would have made it easier for him to keep my distance.”

“But I don’t hate you,” you shook your head, “I don’t hate anyone…and I could never hate you.”

“Even now?” he chuckled harshly, “when you definitely should?”

“Even now,” you confirmed you heard his small exhale of relief, “now I just…I guess I’m just confused as to how you do feel about me.”

“When you left me and I couldn’t find you and then…when you’d been hurt…I thought…” he trailed off, clearly at a loss for words. You let his words sink in and tried to process the meaning behind him, “I didn’t know what I would do if anything had happened to you. All I could think about was beating that bastard to a bloody pulp.”

“Oh,” the gears were definitely turning as you came closer and closer to your conclusion. And then it hit you all at once and your entire face turned warm. You looked over at Miguel and could see that his cheeks were a darkened pink, “oh.”

“Umm…yeah,” he scratched at the back of his neck nervously before nodding slightly, “I just never know what to do or say. I-I’ve never been good with words. Keeping people at a distance makes things easier. If there’s no attachment then there’s no room or heartbreak.”

“I understand that,” you agreed softly, “but that’s no way to live.”

“I’m starting to see that,” he allowed himself to meet your eye and the two of you exchanged shy smiles, “so I guess I just wanted to say sorry.”

“Is that all you wanted to say?” you felt a little bolder now, nerves buzzing with everyone he had said and things that were left unspoken.

“No,” he agreed, “but it’s a good starting point, I think.”

“Yeah,” you nodded softly, “I think so too.”

“Cool,” he ran a hand through his hair nervously, “cool. Listen, I…want to do this right. So can I umm, do you want to-”

“Yes,” you slid off the desk and almost skipped over to him, “I’d love to.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara one shot #spider man 2099 #oscar isaac #spider-man

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spooo00oky · 1 year ago

Text

Siren’s Spell

Chapter Four

Paring: siren!Wooyoung x reader

Genre: fantasy, eventual smut, romance, fluff

Word Count: 6k+

Warnings: swearing, suggestive themes, Thalassophobia, cliff hanger! (again I’m sorry I can’t help it)

Author’s note: SURPRISE!!! I’m so sorry for the wait on this chapter, my life got unexpectedly busy with a change in jobs on top of my other job as well as doing a bridal party’s makeup. Phew! This chapter also had a good chunk deleted so this is as much as I could salvage in order to surprise you all with my original update plan. It’s going to be shorter than what it normally is but it’s a good one I promise! I hope you all enjoy this update and as always please consider reblogging my works and let me know what you all think! I hope you all have fun this holiday season and be sure to not get sick!

༄

Wooyoung’s Current became a regular appearance at the den. Whether it was a singular member or all of them, they would drop in for a visit whenever either Wooyoung or I were home. Their presences surely livened the place up, and it truly did start to feel like a home the more they came around. Wooyoung seemed happy with the change of atmosphere as well, a seemingly permanent smile on his face whenever I’d catch his gaze from across the room. Maybe he was also happy to see his mate and his friends getting along so well.

Seonghwa came around more often than not to the point where Wooyoung made the comment that he might as well have his own room here. I didn’t mind the frequency of his visits. Yeosang and Seonghwa were quickly becoming close friends of mine. Seonghwa would ask me many questions about fashion and Yeosang would ask me his own array of questions. It was a give and take relationship between us and it gave me something to do while I was home. Wooyoung tended to whine when my attention was away from him for too long, but I knew he didn’t truly mind that much. I could feel the contentment rumbling through him at seeing me laughing and smiling. Plus he was easily appeased with my head resting on his shoulder, despite his friends’ teasing remarks.

Though I loved to see them all, it wasn’t quite the same as being with my own friends. Wooyoung seemed to pick up on my change in mood one day and asked me about it. Despite my assurances that I was fine, he was persistent that he knew what was wrong.

“My friends and I would get together a lot at my apartment and now we can’t really do that anymore. I love having your friends here, but I wish I could still have that with my friends I guess. It isn’t like they can come here whenever they want, with the water pressure and all,” I explained.

Wooyoung frowned. “Do you wish the den was on the surface like your old home was?”

I had quickly shaken my head when he said that, knowing that if I wanted it he would move everything up to the surface without a second thought. Yeosang had explained that while sirens could shift to walk on land they couldn’t stay up there forever. They had to return to the water eventually. If Wooyoung moved the den to the surface, he would only get to enjoy a few hours of our home before having to return to the water. He would be the one that was unhappy even if he said otherwise. I could live without seeing my friends outside of work if it meant that he didn’t have to be miserable.

“I’m happy with it here. It’s just going to take some getting used to, that’s it.”

Wooyoung thankfully didn’t press the issue more but it clearly didn’t sit well with him because a week later I had walked into our bedroom to see him tapping away on my phone. His eyebrows were scrunched up in confusion before he looked up at my entrance and tried to hide it behind his back. He tried to deny it when I asked him about it, pulling me down onto the bed and into his arms to try and distract me from it. I had pushed him off slightly to reach and grab it before his hands could stop me, and I was greeted with my text messages pulled up and a greeting typed into the search bar. I gave Wooyoung a questioning look and he gave me a sheepish one back.

“I don’t know how to work it.”

I couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled out of me and it made him groan and hide his face in the pillow. “Why can’t you land dwellers use sprites like everyone else does?”

“Because we don't, that's an outdated form of communication, Wooyoung,” I told him with a smile. “Plus sprites don’t like us much and half of the letters we’d ask them to deliver would disappear entirely.”

“Sprites are always nice to me.”

“You’re a siren. You have the power to make them obey even if they didn’t want to so they were probably intimidated by you. Plus sprites are part of the sea kingdom, they’d be willing to help you more than a surface dweller any day.” I purposely left out the part that sprites were notorious flirts and every siren I’ve met so far has been beautiful. Pretty privilege was definitely a thing when it came to sprites.

“What were you trying to do anyway?”

Wooyoung’s ears tinted pink before he pulled his face away from the pillow and I saw that his cheeks were the same shade. “You still seemed upset that you couldn’t see your friends as much, so I was going to invite them all out along with my friends to dinner. It wouldn’t be a permanent solution, but I thought it would be something.”

That was the first instance of when I felt like I could kiss him. The feeling had hit me so hard that I had to check that I wasn’t leaning forward to do so. I mentally shook myself, blaming the bond between us for the sudden urge to do so. I couldn’t stop the wide smile from spreading across my face however, and I did lean forward to give him a hug in gratitude. He immediately accepted it, pulling me in even closer with a smile.

“I appreciate it, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Would your Current even want to meet my friends?”

“I’ve already discussed it with them and they want to. Some more than others of course,” he added in. “I was more worried about your friends refusing because I didn’t make the best first impression.”

I felt my heart swell as I pulled away enough to look him in the eye. It was hard to think of what I wanted to say, too many thoughts running through my mind. One of the most prevalent being that I think Wooyoung was making me fall in love with him and fast, and the other being that I really wanted to kiss him. I ignored the second thought and settled on pulling my phone out again and sending out a message to my friends for dinner with everyone. I felt Wooyoung’s gaze on my movements and I went slowly enough so he could see how to do it in case he needed to know for future events.

A week later we were all gathering for dinner, the Current certainly standing out among the crowd. They had eyes on them since they entered the restaurant but they didn’t pay any attention to it, focusing on my friends who were trying to start a conversation with them. San and Mingi thankfully acted friendlier with Wooyoung unlike their first introduction. They were a little tense when they greeted him but slowly relaxed as Wooyoung began to crack jokes with his friends. Wooyoung wasn’t even using his ability but he was warming everyone up to one another. It was mesmerizing to see how easy it was for him, and as we settled down for dinner I felt my body relax. The Current and my friends got along like they’ve known each other for years. I was so worried that dinner would be awkward but I realized that I had nothing to worry about.

“Are any of you coming to the fashion show?” Mingi asked the table.

Seonghwa immediately perked up, a bright smile lighting up his face. “Wooyoung and I are coming.” Even a blind man could see how excited he was.

“Would this be your first one?” San asked as he sipped from his glass.

“It would. Y/n told me that I would enjoy it.”

San grinned at me. “Are you going to introduce him to Hongjoong?”

“That’s the plan,” I told San with a smile.

San smiled at Seonghwa. “Mingi and I will make sure you have fun. Y/n’s cousin Hongjoong is coming as well, so you’ll really like it. He owns his own label so he’ll be another person you can talk to about these things.”

San and Seonghwa started chatting about the upcoming show and I was so lost in watching everyone else around us I nearly jumped when Wooyoung spoke into my ear. “You should eat more.”

I glanced down at my barely eaten plate of food. My appetite hasn’t been the best lately and I knew it was because of the upcoming show. My nerves were getting the best of me, this happened every time. “I’m not that hungry.”

Wooyoung narrowed his eyes. “You’ve barely eaten anything the past two days. You need to eat more.”

“I‘ll eat something later if I’m hungry. I promise.”

He wasn’t having it and he picked up my fork and scooped up some food. “Open.”

“Wooyoung, no. We’re in front of our friends.”

“They can watch, I don’t care. You need to eat.”

I blushed as my mind instantly went into the gutter. “Wooyoung please.”

“Say ‘ah’.”

“Glad to see he’s making you eat. You do this every show we have a show,” Mingi said with a smile as I opened my mouth. Wooyoung had a small smile on his face as he fed me a forkful of food before he was scooping up more.

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” I whined as I took the bite he offered me and chewed.

“Not on this one. You lose weight every show we have because you nearly stop eating. Someone has to make sure you do.”

It was a losing fight, so I let Wooyoung feed me a few more bites before I held up a hand and took the fork from him. He raised a brow but relaxed when he saw that I was feeding myself now instead. I could hear the soft purr coming from his chest and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

“Wooyoung can be a little rough around the edges but he has the best intentions,” Yunho commented as he chuckled at our antics. “Sorry if he’s upset you both in the past with his mouth.”

“Hey!”

San laughed. “It was a misunderstanding. Mingi and I are protective of our y/n and after hearing how they came to be, we might’ve overreacted. It’s all water under the bridge now though.”

Wooyoung seemed to settle at that and gave San and Mingi a grateful smile. My own smile mirrored his as we eased back into conversation, all tension gone now.

We stayed at dinner for much longer than intended and it was late when we finally parted ways. I followed the sirens back to the docks and they quickly jumped in before resurfacing momentarily to say their goodbyes. Yeosang promised to come and visit me soon, as did Jongho and I waved as they ducked beneath the water.

Wooyoung jumped in and slapped his now wet clothes onto the dock and began to fold them up as I sat on the edge. I waited until he finished before I lowered myself into the water. Wooyoung was quick to pull me in close. Even though it wasn’t as bad anymore, my heart did leap into my throat whenever I hopped in. It didn’t help that the water was freezing at this time of night.

“Hold your breath,” Wooyoung murmured and I took a deep breath before I felt the water move over my head and I knew we were moving.

The trip was just as quick as it always is, and in no time at all we were resurfacing in the den. I could tell there was a change occurring in me because I wasn’t nearly out of breath as I usually was from the trip. I could’ve been under for a few more minutes before needing air.

I crawled up onto the ledge and watched as Wooyoung hopped up as well. I quickly turned around as he began to stand up straight, remembering that he was naked. “I’ll go put your clothes in the bathroom to dry out,” I called over my shoulder as I walked away with pink cheeks. His laughter followed after me as I retreated to the bathroom and hung up the clothes.

I wasted no time in undressing and hopping into the pool, my muscles relaxing as the warmth eased all tension from my body. It did nothing to ease the ball of nerves in my chest. I sighed and sunk into the water until only the top half of my head stuck out.

I knew what was happening. It was all I could think about anymore, and I wanted to put all of the blame on the bond but I was slowly but surely falling for Wooyoung. Did I find him attractive when I first met him? Of course. Were romantic feelings developing more now that we were living together? Definitely. Were things moving too fast though? Was all of this normal for a bonded pair? My only experience outside of human relationships was Logan and that wasn’t much of a pleasant experience.

I shook away those thoughts. Yeosang said that feelings developing was normal over time, and that I would experience some changes. But Wooyoung was a good male, he had charm, a good heart and an infectious laugh. It was hard not to love him, bond or not.

So why did the thought of letting go and falling for him completely make me beyond nervous?

“You’re going to experience some changes, but growing gills isn’t one of them.” I jumped at the sudden sound of Wooyoung’s voice. I turned to see him leaning against the doorway in only a pair of sweatpants with a smug smirk on his face. “You should probably get out of the water before you start to get pruny.” He chuckled as I scowled at him before he left.

Once I was sure he was gone I dunked my head beneath the water and groaned. Maybe him knowing exactly what he did to me was part of why I felt so nervous.

༄

Feeling a little better once I was clean and changed into comfy clothes I made my way back into the room. Wooyoung was already in bed and smirked when I crawled in next to him, but he didn’t say anything if he could smell my emotions. I was grateful when he motioned with his hand and the wall sconces turned dark, plunging us into darkness.

It was silent, the only sounds in the room were our breaths and the sounds from outside echoing in. After a while I had thought that Wooyoung had just fallen asleep and I shut my eyes to try and do the same but his voice had me opening them again.

“Why are you so afraid of the water?”

This was a question I was expecting to come up eventually. I’m a little surprised it didn’t come up sooner.

“I nearly drowned in a frozen lake when I was a child,” I told him softly, almost afraid that if I spoke too loudly it would ruin the moment. “Hongjoong had to drag me out.”

Wooyoung was quiet. I waited for his next words, wishing I could see his expression just to get a glimpse of what he was thinking. Could he see me? I never thought to ask, but it would make sense if he could with it being so dark in the river. I fixed my expression into a more neutral one.

“That’s a pretty good reason to be afraid of it. I thought it was because you didn’t know how to swim. I was going to go and get you a life vest and teach you.”

I snorted and lightly smacked his chest, making him chuckle as well. “I appreciate the thought but I’m actually a pretty good swimmer. I made sure I was in case something like that happened again.”

“You’re missing out on learning from a pro.”

I rolled my eyes. “You are built to be in the water. Me? Not so much.”

Wooyoung went quiet again, and I began to worry if I had somehow upset him by refusing his swimming lessons. His voice was much quieter when he spoke next. “Are you sure you’re fine with being down here? We can move to the surface, I wouldn’t mind it. I’d have to ask for your help with finding a place up there though.”

I leaned up onto my arms, hoping I was looking at his face in the darkness. He didn’t laugh so I’ll take it as I’m doing a good enough job. “Where did this come from? I told you I was happy being where we are now.”

“I could smell your anxiety when you were in the bathroom. I assumed it was everything finally catching up with you.”

I sighed and rested my head against his chest. My cheeks began to burn as I began to think of ways to explain this to him.

“It’s not that, I promise.”

He was quiet, waiting patiently for me to continue and I internally groaned.

“It’s just that I’m nervous about if we’re moving too fast and maybe I’m worried about what others will think. I’m also worried that my feelings for you are ingenuine and it’s only the bond that’s making me feel these things,” I struggled to get out. “It has nothing to do with where the den is.”

Wooyoung took in my words quietly, waiting patiently for me to get everything out that I wanted to say. Once I was finished he began to soothingly run his thumb up and down my arm until there were goosebumps forming on my skin. He was processing everything I confessed and I gave him time to do so.

“You should stop worrying your pretty little head about what others think.” I opened my mouth to snap something back but his next words had my cheeks burning and left me sputtering. “By siren standards we’re taking things at a snail’s pace. I should’ve already marked you and started a family with you if we were moving at the normal pace. The only opinions that matter are yours and my own, and I’m happy with the way things are now, so don’t worry about that.”

He did have a point.

“Also, the bond can’t make you feel things that you don’t already feel. It only intensifies them over time.” He paused as if something just occurred to him and I was about to ask when he was suddenly pinning me to the mattress beneath us. A squeak left me at the sudden motion before his lips were at my ear, his breath tickling me. “Which means you were attracted to me from the very beginning weren’t you.”

My eyes widened in shock and I knew he was grinning, knowing he had me right where he wanted me. My tongue was tied as I felt his lips graze my cheek, my heart hammering in my chest. My mind had been turned to mush in the matter of seconds. A part of me wanted to deny it just to spite him, but what was the point? He knew I would be lying. And maybe this could also be a conscious step forward with coming to terms with my feelings for Wooyoung.

“And what if I was?” I asked, deciding to be bold instead.

His chest rumbled against mine and I felt him pull away just enough to look at me. The lights dimly lit themselves again, just enough for me to make out Wooyoung’s expression above me. My breath hitched at the raw yearning I saw in his hooded gaze. It was a look I had yet to see on him before, much less be on the receiving end of it.

A grin slowly tugged his lips upwards, no doubt in regards to my reaction. He was going to hold this over my head for a week. I already knew it. “I’d say that I was attracted to you as soon as I laid my eyes upon you, and that it really pissed me off to see you with another guy you obviously had no interest in.”

My heart fluttered in my chest at his confession, and warmth spread through me like a fire. My mouth opened and closed for a moment as I struggled to think of a response; as I struggled to even process what I was feeling and what I wanted right now. His presence was dizzying, my mind fuzzy. His fingers trailing up and down my sides didn’t help, it only distracted my thoughts and jumbled them even more.

Finally I managed to settle on one thought that was circling in my mind, and I had a feeling it was shared with him as well.

“Kiss me.”

The movement of his hands paused momentarily as the grin on his face grew. I could practically hear the “I told you you’d beg for me to kiss you” in his mind but thankfully he didn’t voice it. Instead he leaned in closer so his breath fanned over my face. “Are you sure?”

My lips curled up into a smile and I rested my hands on his shoulders. I rubbed my thumbs across the smooth skin there in reassuring circles.

“I’m sure Wooyoung. Please, kiss me.”

He didn’t waste another moment as his lips connected with mine, a content sigh slipping from him as we melted into the kiss. Despite the slow pace it was dizzying, and nearly stole my breath. My hands found their way into his hair as his tongue teasingly traced along my bottom lip. I granted him access as my fingers played with his hair, holding him even closer to me as the kiss deepened. My mind was so swept up in the kiss that I didn’t even realize Wooyoung was purring until we pulled apart for air.

I couldn’t stop the breathless giggle that bubbled out of me as we pulled apart, the vibrations from his chest still being felt. He let out his own chuckle before pressing a kiss to my forehead and lying down beside me. He pulled me on top of him in the same movement and I didn’t even try to remove myself from my new spot, instead cuddling into Wooyoung’s warmth.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile now,” he said softly, the lights turning off once again. His hands trailed lightly up and down my back and I hummed.

“So have I.”

༄

Finally it was the day of the fashion show. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Wooyoung knew it as well, his nose would subtly scrunch up whenever he was near me, smelling my anxiousness. No matter what I did to ease my nerves I couldn’t completely shake them. He did try his best to help me, going as far as making me my favorite breakfast and rubbing circles into my tense shoulders and doing things to try and make me laugh. I could see the tension leave his own shoulders when I laughed at something he had said, and I doubled down on trying to relax when I realized that Wooyoung was worried. I appreciated the effort, and once this day had passed I’d find a way to make it up to him.

I distracted myself by helping Wooyoung with his outfit for as long as I could. Despite how put together he usually looked he was struggling with what to wear for the show. Part of me thinks that Wooyoung did it on purpose because when I went to help him with his shirt he snuck in a kiss on my forehead. His laughter sounded out above me and I hid my face in his chest.

Seonghwa arrived some time after that and I was delighted to see that he didn’t need help with his outfit, looking handsome in a velvet suit. I said as much and heard Wooyoung grumbled something unintelligible as he moved past me to get ready to leave. Seonghwa gave me a pleased smile despite Wooyoung’s pouting and thanked me.

“You look lovely tonight as well,” Seonghwa said as he followed me towards the exit, where Wooyoung was already waiting.

I thanked him as I sat on the ledge of the pool and slowly lowered myself right into Wooyoung’s waiting arms. I took a deep breath and we dove beneath the water and began to head to the surface.

Minutes later our heads broke the surface of the water and I quickly pulled myself over the edge of the dock. I took in a deep breath of fresh air as I waited for the males to shift and put their pants back on. Thankfully no one was really paying attention to us as they walked the busy streets, most of the attention was drawn to a new street performer that had set themselves up on the sidewalk. From the small sparks and streamers flying through the air and the delighted cries coming from the nearby children it sounded like it was a good show. It might’ve been a wizard if they were able to put on such a display.

Finally the males made their way onto the dock, fully dressed now. Seonghwa’s eyes shone with pure excitement and it was hard to not be affected by it. Wooyoung came to my side and with a wave of his hand the both of us were completely dry. Seonghwa rolled his eyes and waved his hand, removing the water from his person as well. “You could’ve extended the service to me as well, you know.”

“My mate takes priority,” Wooyoung said and dodged the hand that reached out to grab him.

I rolled my eyes at their antics, a smile on my face before I began to head towards the venue. The males were quick to fall into step beside me, Wooyoung’s arm snaking around my waist. I caught Seonghwa’s eye at the action and we shared a smile. He has also been a great help with accepting the bond and offering advice when asked, and the happiness he felt for us shown in the smile he sent our way.

The venue was buzzing with excitement upon arrival. Not many of the guests had arrived yet as we were early to help with preparations, but the staff of the label and additional help were seen bustling about. I easily spotted San and Mingi at the far side of the room and made my way over there, hanging onto the two males with me so I wouldn’t lose them.

My friends looked like they were in a tense conversation before they spotted me. They broke out in smiles at my entrance and pulled me into quick hugs. “You’re just in time. Bell was about to start doing a toast with everyone and was wondering where you all were,” San told us.

“There’s nothing for us to help out with?” Seonghwa asked, having been prepared to be hands-on with the setting up part of the show.

Mingi shook his head. “Nope. Belle hired additional help with setting up and everything’s run smoothly. There hasn’t been a misstep with anything and everyone has been on time. I think this has been the easiest show we’ve had yet.”

“Don’t say that yet the show hasn’t even started,” I pointed out with a smile. “You’ll end up jinxing us if you keep saying things like that.”

“I’m sure they’ll love it all,” Wooyoung said, giving my side an affectionate squeeze.

I opened my mouth to thank him but was cut off by a squeal of excitement and Belle suddenly appearing in front of me. “You’re all here! I’ve been looking for you, here, have a drink for a toast,” she said and with a snap of her fingers a floating tray full of flutes of champagne appeared before us. We all grabbed our glasses and watched as Belle called out to gather everyone’s attention before standing in the center of the room. She smiled once everyone had quieted down before raising her glass in the air.

“I’m not one for drawn out speeches, so I’ll make this quick,” she started. “I want to say thank you to everyone that has made tonight happen. Thank you to all of you who have worked tirelessly the weeks leading up to this to make sure everything runs smoothly and that everything was planned properly. Today wouldn’t have started off as well as it did if it wasn’t for you.” Her eyes roamed until they had gone over every one of her office staff members, sending a warm smile our way. “I also wanted to thank my team for working hard for months leading up to today. I know how stressful things can get working in this industry and I thank you all for pushing through and seeing it to the end. I know it’ll all pay off in the end.”

She raised her glass in the air and we mirrored her reactions. “To everyone here, thank you!”

The room erupted into echoing sentiments as we all took a drink from our glasses. With the preparations done and the only thing left to do is wait for the rest of the guests to arrive, conversations started up as the people mingled with each other. Seonghwa began talking with Mingi and San, asking questions that my friends readily answered. I was happy to see them getting along so well, but it still didn’t make the feeling in my belly disappear.

I turned to look at Wooyoung. His gaze met mine and he burst into laughter. “I can see the panic in your eyes. They’re going to love your designs, you don’t need to worry.”

“I know but I can’t help it. I always get nervous like this before a show. No matter how hard I work on something I can’t help but feel that it’s just not enough,” I explained.

He looked towards our friends before he guided me away from the crowd and into a more secluded corner. I didn’t fight it as he shielded me away from any wandering eyes with his body, looking down at me with concern in his gaze. “Why do you think your designs aren’t good enough?”

“Well I feel like a few of them might be similar to another designer’s ideas, so I feel like they can be repetitive.”

Wooyoung thought about it for a moment. “Have you thought about seeing your designs from an audience member’s point of view?”

My brows scrunched in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Well everyone has their own take on things and has their own unique way of doing things. The way you design clothes is not and will not be the same way another designer does it,” he explained. “People in your audience love your designs for the way you do them because it’s your spin on something, if that makes sense.”

I gazed up at him in wonder for a moment before breaking out in a warm smile. The weight in my belly had all but disappeared after his words sunk in, and I felt more than heard his purr when he smelled the difference in my scent. “See? There’s nothing to be stressed about. They’re going to love a design because it’s your unique way of designing something.” He gently smiled before pulling me in for a hug.

I buried my head into his chest with a sigh. I felt most of the tension leave my body after that, and I relaxed into the embrace.

“And if they don’t like what you have to offer I’ll eat them.”

I lightly swatted his back at that causing him to laugh. He rubbed a soothing hand up and down my back to further ease any tension away before we pulled apart slightly at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“You lovebirds need to get a room next time.” I heard Mingi say, laughter in his voice as we looked to see who was trying to get our attention. His smile widened when I rolled my eyes before he half turned to motion behind him. “There’s someone here to see you.”

My gaze went behind him and I gasped when I saw who was standing there.

“Hongjoong!” I squealed in excitement as I ran into his open arms.

He laughed as I pulled him into a tight hug, his familiar warmth surrounding me. “Nice to see you too, y/n. I’ve missed you so much.”

I pulled away with a smile up at him, noting the high end fashionable outfit he wore. “I’ve missed you too, I’m so happy you could make it today!”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You’ll have to introduce me to whoever you were hugging a minute ago, but that can wait until after I introduce you to someone special,” he said and turned to someone I hadn’t noticed standing behind him before. She was a beautiful brunette, but not dizzyingly like Wooyoung or Seonghwa were. She was prettier than any normal person, so she definitely wasn’t human. Maybe she was a vampire?

I was about to reach out to introduce myself when Seonghwa caught my eye, and I realized that he was watching the woman before me like a hawk. His gaze didn’t waver from her, and his stance was tense. He looked like he was ready to jump in between us, to attack her or to shield me, I wasn't sure. I looked back at the woman and realized she�� hadn't even looked at me, her gaze focused behind me. I turned to see Wooyoung rooted to his spot, glaring at the woman. I hadn’t seen him this upset since that day with San and Mingi, and even then he didn’t look as hostile as he did now.

“Maggiore, I’d like you to meet my cousin y/n. Y/n this is my girlfriend Maggiore. She’s a fan of your work so I thought I’d bring her with me today for you both to meet,” Hongjoong introduced us and it was like the spell was broken.

Her cold expression broke and she smiled warmly at me, holding out her hand for me to shake. “‘It’s a pleasure to meet you. Hongjoong talks about you a lot so I just had to meet you!”

She took my hand and shook it and I saw Seonghwa flinch, like it was taking everything in him to not separate the two of us. If Seonghwa was reacting like this I could only imagine how Wooyoung was fairing behind me. Just who was this woman before me that made both males react so tensely?

I winced as her grip tightened on my hand momentarily and I looked up to see her eyes not even on me but on someone behind me. I didn’t dare look behind me at Wooyoung, instead I glanced towards Hongjoong for any possible answers but he had been swept up in conversation with Mingi and San some feet away from us.

“You need to leave.”

I turned to look back at the woman who had yet to release the death grip she had on my hand. Her expression was menacing as she glared at me. She seemed to be waiting for something to happen, and I raised a brow at her. “Excuse me?”

That seemed to be the wrong answer because her eyes widened in pure rage and she took a step closer to me, her aura turning threatening. I bit my lip to hold back the cry of pain as I felt her grip on my hand tighten. Any more and she was going to break it. “I said leave.”

There it was. It was there, trailing after the last syllable of each word she said. There was power behind her words, interwoven in the smoothness of her voice. A power that I felt roll off of me like water droplets on a window. Siren. My eyes widened and I looked back at Wooyoung to see his face scrunched in fury as he stormed over to us. By the time I looked back to Maggiore, Seonghwa had already pulled her away from me and was leading her away from Wooyoung and I. “You’ve got a lot of nerve for pulling a stunt like this.” I heard Seonghwa mutter to the woman as he casually led her away. If I hadn’t heard his harsh words I would’ve thought they were old friends catching up; keeping up pretenses for the sake of everyone present.

“Are you alright?” Wooyoung asked, gingerly taking my hand in his. He frowned when he saw the flesh there was already beginning to bruise. “I’m so sorry about this, I never thought she’d make an appearance here today of all days.”

“Who even is she?” She was a siren, that I already gathered from the way she tried to compel me to leave and it didn’t work. I remember Wooyoung mentioning before that a siren’s powers won’t work on me anymore now that I was bonded to him.

He sighed, looking down at me with a mixture of concern and sadness. I hated seeing him like this. “That is Maggiore, my ex.”

༄

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

#wooyoung #jung Wooyoung #ateez #ateez scenario #ateez fanfic #siren #kpop #wooyoung imagines #ateez x reader #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung x y/n #ateez wooyoung

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oshiawaseni · 2 years ago

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What pulled me into my love of MHA is the relationship between Bakugo and Deku... and seeing out they are now after reading recent manga chapters makes me so excited about all that is coming up... I don't know what about BKDK speaks to me... but I can practically feel the love between them, and complex, deep, and layered love is my biggest weakness. (I envy them.) <3

I cry over bkdk because their love for each other now is just so perfect, but circumstances kind of outside their control have torn them apart over and over. And it’s so hard to see characters who love each other as much as they do never get to tell that to each other, and knowing that both of them have gone through Katsuki’s death without having said everything they wanted to say. In that same kind of desperate way Katsuki went feral over Izuku falling into a coma and not being able to tell him everything that was now filling his head up completely. That he is sorry for all he has ever done to hurt Izuku and that he cares so damn much about him.

"You better not die on me Izuku, because I need you, and there's still so many things I have to tell you."

This was also probably why they added that extra scene of Katsuki thinking of Izuku after waking up. It helped convey his new and open concern for him. His "tsundereisms" until now had only been assumed, because the “dere” side of his "tsun" had been almost impossible to see. Hori had kept this side of him very well hidden - possibly with an intention to get his desired bkdk romance across the shounen jump finish line.

So all of Katsuki’s hospital scenes confirmed suspicions that this soft side has potentially always existed, only now he was no longer holding back his “dere” for Izuku. He wasn't keeping it caged inside his heart anymore. And this is why I started getting my hopes up for for bkdk canon.

Anyway, they wanted to be the one that’s always there for the other but they kept failing in that, lzuku’s many failings to save Katsuki up until now or the way Katsuki had failed to see Izuku’s love for him, which lead to the breakdown of their relationship for so long. The failure of both of them to connect to one another emotionally, communicate how they feel and really fight for each other and overcome the issues before so many misunderstandings had the chance to take such stranglehold over their lives.

Narratively, all of their problems and lack of understanding each other's emotional selves, despite being so close, has been built up to culminate in a singular point that we are still yet to see.

The purpose of showing how well they know each other and can predict each other’s future strategies and their connection in the battle sense… Hori wrote them like this to juxtapose it against their never ending misunderstandings of the heart. It highlights how connected their emotions should also be, hinting that that their feelings were headed straight for each other until the day they crashed into each other violently and beautifully. All the events as of late have mostly been about Katsuki coming to terms with the contents of his heart and now the time has come for Izuku to do the same.

A lot of what has been shown is Izuku’s tainted vision of their relationship, or Katsuki’s lonely perspective of never being able to say what he really wants to say the most. And sometimes it’s been about both of them not feeling heard. There has been a veil between their true feelings for so long and it’s high time it is lifted and they meet together as two hearts that can truly see each other without anymore of the pretence. That’s what some of us think will happen in the upcoming chapters, and why Hori keeps having the other couples make references and parallels to them in a lead up to “?” and also why this was drawn:

I take issue with people who don't acknowledge these overarching narratives that are guiding their characters together - and that they are very much "Not Done" with Katsuki's apology. Their many misunderstandings and hidden feelings for each other must be revealed to reach the conclusion of this story. Because bnha is THEIR story. The only reason I can come up with as for why people deny this future intimacy they'll share... is that if people were to admit these two aren't done with Katsuki's apology, they're also admitting the fact that BkDk are going to become even MORE closer, and they can see the writing on the wall if that ever were to happen...

#bakudeku #bkdk canon #bnha meta #asks #sorry I maybe went off on a bit of a tangent anon LOL #tsundere kacchan

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the-chihayafuru-landslide · 2 years ago

Text

In Defense of the Ending of Chihayafuru [PART 1]

Well I never thought I would be writing something like this because mainly I wanted to use my blog to discuss Taichihaya because that’s all my biased ass is interested in is the romance. I’m a consistent bitch through and through, unlike some of y’all. But I feel this topic is a bit more of a pressing matter since currently people over on twitter have been fist fighting in PQRT over the ending (still lol). Which, you know my ass couldn’t stay out of because I love pissing myself off and being boo boo the fool.

Posting this again just as a petty reminder since I am sore winner.

One of the best tweets in recent memory was someone calling Taichihaya a tacked on wattpadd romance and was Suetsugu selling out to thirsty fans. I truly think it’s lovely people think that Suetsugu had so little integrity and would would spend 15 years on a manga and throw it down the drain in the final chapter! Nah, if that was the case and she genuinely wanted to placate everyone, I think she would have picked the friendship route. (Especially since Arata won the most recent online [ rigged ] popularity poll lmao I’m sure she was nervous as hell when that happened) If there was no romance conclusion then both Taichihayas and Chiharatas alike would be shrugging our shoulders and fighting in the parking lot behind a Burger King till the end times. Honestly, I’m so glad we don’t live in that timeline because I don’t think I could handle being a Taichihaya solider against these absolute units. Their stubborn persistence in their own biased reading of Chihayafuru is truly remarkable despite the thousands of arguments that have been thrown at them. I wish I was so uncritical in my life because my thoughts are constantly oscillating when presented with new information to try and get to the closest version of the “truth”. Which requires you to admit when you are wrong and not be blinded by your own hubris. Heh (I’m realizing now why people don’t like me considering I say shit like this completely straight)

Before we address some of the writing criticisms that have been thrown at the ending, let’s get this obligation out of the way: the ending is not perfect. No singular piece of media is and can ever be. But for what Suetsugu managed to accomplish and (IMO) hitting every necessary story beat in 80 pages is actually very impressive. I’ll be honest, I was at times shaking my head wondering how she could do it.

Suetsugu was writing this manga for 15 years and was trying to get to the ending as quickly as she could (originally she wanted it to end it in 49 volumes but got convinced by her editor to stretch it to 50 volumes which thank god). So using the words of someone else (who every so often says something that I regrettably agree with), I think we can all afford to give this mangaka a bit of grace.

At the same time no matter what the conditions were for the ending’s creation, the ending still is what it is and that doesn’t make it above criticism. But some of the criticisms I’ve had the pleasure to read (derogatory) have made me want to rip out my hair. I can’t even be nice, y’all are just being fuckin purposely obtuse, hypocritical, or partaking in bad faith cinema sins level criticism.

I can understand being frustrated as hell that things didn’t resolve the way you thought they would (trust me I’d still be crying to this day if Taichihaya wasn’t canon) but the actual hoops people have tried to jump through, like criticizing things that UP UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER DID NOT BOTHER THEM IN THE SLIGHTEST, so they can point to anything other than what they are really mad about: that the ship they wanted to see didn’t end up happening and that Arata and Chihaya’s relationship not being romantical in the end has apparently no merit unless Chihaya told him EXPLICITLY at the end what a special little boy he is. I’d have more respect for some of you if you just came out and said it outright instead of being like every other theme and arc was also ruined by Chihaya’s confession lmao. I guess that’s just Chihaya’s power as a protagonist to ruin her own story by confessing. SHE IS A QUEEN IN EVERY SENSE. But of course people don’t want to say they were upset about the shipping b/c they spent how long (years?) tearing down those dastardly Taichihayas for only caring about that! Oh how the turntables.

Now I’m a chaotic individual and this entire thing is written purely in spite (I’m reading Skip Beat so I’m living my Kyoko fantasy) but before we get into the meat of my arguments; I’m going to break down the criticisms I’ve read about the ending into three categories:

1. Unresolved Plot Points

2. Unsatisfying conclusions to plot points

3. Things we should have seen but didn’t

I’m going to be discussing all three types of criticisms loose and free because thankfully I am not in academia anymore. So it’s going down, I’m yelling timberrrr. I just want to mention, with added emphasis, when I am discussing the criticisms filed under the third point- “things we should have seen but didn’t”, I want to acknowledge that it is ok for people to be sad about not seeing the thing they wanted to see. Even if thing wasn’t that important, and didn’t actually ruin the story.

I too had many things I wanted to see that Suetsugu did not feel necessary to include. Like yeah sure, I got my ship and even my crack ship (Arata x Sumire shippers manifesting their ship out of thin air like they were rubbing a lamp) yet I am greedy as hell. For all of our suffering as Taichihaya shippers (me for like 6 months some people for a literal decade) with Taichi and Chihaya being purposely kept apart in the story for literal years; at the end when they finally are a couple I wanted to see Taichihaya dating fluff and also their wedding (the way I felt so emboldened by reading the spin off for Eden No Hana that I truly believed it could happen). I should mention real quick that I sorta think ending a story with characters getting married is at this point a bit outdated and also kind of idk “tacky” yet the fervour I wanted to see a Taichihaya wedding made the feminism crawl back inside me and die. My life is filled with contradictions.

However, with things we want to see, to judge whether or it was necessary and or good to be included in the story we have to ask ourselves these questions: what does it add to the story? Is it necessary? What themes does it build? Is it redundant? Is it fun? Does it help resolve plot elements? Does it build characters? Etc etc etc

I actually do think some Taichihaya dating fluff would have been a nice way to wrap up the ending on a nice positive outlook for Chihaya and Taichi’s future together and provide a bit of breathing room after all the trauma and depression that’s happened (WE WERE SUFFERING FOR 100 CHAPTERS AND ALMOST 10 YEARS). I WASN’T EVEN ASKING FOR ANYTHING THAT DEEP IT COULD BE TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WALKING SIDE BY SIDE FOR A SINGLE PANEL HOLDING HANDS.

This could have been us and I would have been satisfied BUT NOooooo

IT would have been fkin nice, yet it wasn’t completely necessary. We kind of /got this/ with the slight time skip the end. You just have to squint your eyes and read it through subtext (something apparently Taichihayas are good at lmao).

With the final pages of the story we got: Taichi and Chihaya confirmed to be dating, them wearing tasukis together in the final spread (y’know as they did before as a team lmao), and Chihaya’s random hair change suggesting maybe they went on a date beforehand… Yeah these things suggest that the two of them are doing well despite living in different cities, attending different universities, and not even being able to see each other since they started dating (fk me up). Does it hurt me that’s all we got in the ending? You know it does. Do I completely agree with Yuki Suetsugu’s writing choice? No. I WANT A MORSEL OF FLUFF OF SOMETHING I AM A STARVING VICTORIAN CHILD AND I NEED A SINGLE CRUMB. The way we only got a single panel in the spin off chapter and it Taichi and Chihaya in the same tournament just a different angle… IT IS A CRIME BUT don’t worry about me, I’m completely fine yep CoOl as a cUcumber. We as a fandom expect nothing so we bounce off the walls when we are served air.

Ok what was the point of this rant? Oh, that we all want to see things for fun even when they don’t serve a purpose because it makes us happy and isn’t the point of stories… enjoyment? However, I’m going to be a dick and shit on your dreams because I didn’t get everything I wanted, why should you lmao.

But again, I do understand the lamenting at least.

Alright now I’m done the intro (if you can call all of that nonsense an intro) let’s discuss the actual criticisms. Again this is in no particular order and I won’t be addressing every single criticism I’ve ever read (like not even gonna touch the 2chan comments about Chihaya being a sl*t because I don’t feel like giving misogynists the time of day lmao) just the ones I feel like.

[ 1 ] Taichi’s Arc Was Ruined by Chihaya’s Confession

You know this would be the first thing I would address because I am the number one most die hard annoying Taichi fan (or at least I hope people think of me as so). I actually have an unfinished twitter thread on why Taichi’s arc wasn’t ruined, which will someday see the light of day, so for now I won’t go in as much detail (LMAO unfortunately this isn’t at all concise, the things I do for this fictional man).

Taichi’s character was apparently supposed to be the personification of a loser and Arata a winner. Y’know because Arata was bullied in his childhood and in a stylized reality that means you get everything you have ever wanted and the person who bullied you can never be redeemed instead has to be punished by the universe forever for the crimes of his youth. It’s just and completely fair, yes, if you make one mistake when you are 10 it will define you for the rest of your life.

Ok jokes aside, I think the majority of the fandom /kind of/ understood the vague outline of Taichi’s arc: it was about taking a risk and not being a coward. It actually takes a kind of vulnerability to actually put effort into something: whether that be a relationship or a sport because all of your hard work could literally amount to nothing. Losing only hurts if you care about winning. But winning only feels like a win when it is earned (maybe that’s why nobody cared that Arata got Meijin because his ass was at times too OP lmao). This applies both Karuta (Taichi’s initial belief that there was no point in taking Karuta seriously because he could never beat Arata) and in love (he dated some random girl he didn’t care about b/c it was easy).

So in that sense, I somewhat agree with Taichi’s arc was about appreciating the journey “to love that desperation” to keep trying and not take the easy way out. That getting rejected after you confess your feelings to the girl you’ve been in love since childhood and losing by a huge margin of 18 cards fkin sucks and will hurt so much; but that doesn’t make any of the time spent on it worthless. Not only that, but you can and should still keep trying. (In Karuta I mean. If you get rejected please don’t be like Arata and say lmao I’ll try again because I’m moving to your city to be closer to you)

Even though Taichi had a tenuous love/hate relationship with Karuta, At the end of the day, it still gave Taichi everything that is dear to him: his friends, teachers, and the dream to bet his whole youth. Hence why I will fight to say I that I do like the hug with Arata b/c Taichi finally got acknowledged by his rival (or his core). It just stings after Arata smoked Taichi’s ass with an 18 card victory lmao. Like on the one hand yippee Arata acknowledged him… on the other Arata giving a hug still reads a bit patronizing sorry idc. I love and hate the hug. I look at the panel of them hugging and I’m like aww my babies :) then I read the whole arc and I’m liek TAKE YOUR FKIN HUG ARATA AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. Sorry I got off topic there. (Unfortunately this is neither the first or last time that will happen).

The ending wraps up Taichi’s arc perfectly because he spent the whole manga not really having a firm Karuta “dream” (goal?) of his own (he kind of does but it’s too complex to get into right now so for simplicity’s sake we’ll say this). He watched his friends make a pact to become Meijin and Queen and though he basically facilitated this moment, he was not included. The “outsider”, the one left behind while Chihaya and Arata had bond through their Karuta dream.

No Taichi did not need to be symbolically made the reader at the end of the story- this was the perfect use of the childhood imagery to show how Taichi felt like the worthless one in their friend group.

Taichi had every reason to quit Karuta after he got his single win against Arata (and also because Chihaya had “rejected” him). Instead, seeing his friends accomplish their dreams inspired him to keep trying. (Hence his practice swings in the hallway). Then at the end of it all he challenged Arata that he would come back next year and take the Meijin title, throwing himself back into Karuta after his most devastating 18 card loss. The difference now from before lies in Taichi’s motivations. Before he wanted to win for other people: he wanted Suou to visit his family and he wanted to see Chihaya’s win from the closest spot. Which is not necessarily a bad reason to do things, but a central theme of Chihayafuru from the first chapter is making a dream for YOURSELF. So when he finally challenges Arata at the end it’s the perfect ending to his arc because he’s doing it for nobody else other than himself. He’s already lost the chance to win Chihaya’s love through Karuta and Suou has visited with his family that he’s been avoiding for all these years.

Alright so now that we’ve covered his Karuta arc, so what about the romance arc? Obviously, Taichi was a loser there too because he got rejected after confessing his feelings to Chihaya (until Chihaya pulled an uno reverse at the end).

Immediately after getting rejected, Taichi distanced himself from Chihaya and also the club completely cutting himself off from all of them (mostly). But this action was never narratively treated as Taichi trying to punish Chihaya. SO MANY PEOPLE interpreted this action as emotional manipulation since OOO he hurt her feelings. Yeah, her feelings were hurt and so were his? If he was actually manipulating her, then he’d have to have some underlying goal he was trying to accomplish? Taichi was basically like me very sad and right now I don’t want to be around Chihaya anymore or my friends or the sport I loathe (but love) because I’m not a superhuman robot and I do have feelings and those feelings right now are suffocating me fdkcnkjac. HE NEVER ONCE ACTED LIKE THIS WAS SOME MASTER SCHEME TO GET HER TO LOVE HIM OR TEACH HER A LESSON AS REVENGE FOR HURTING HIM. He just needed space because he wanted to figure out who he was and also at this point his perfect grades were suffering. Chihaya’s rejection wasn’t the only thing that made him quit the club anyways- he was already going through a downwards spiral LONG BEFORE THIS starting with his loss against Chihaya at Yoshino. Chihaya’s rejection was just the final drop in a cup that was already too full. It was going to spill over regardless and Chihaya’s love wouldn’t have saved him.

In fact Taichi never brought up his rejection to her at all. The only scene that we got where Taichi truly acted poorly (and even then it didn’t really affect Chihaya) was when he derived some satisfaction of knowing that Chihaya was hurting because of him. It’s a very real emotion even if it’s an ugly one; which I’m sure we’ve all felt at sometime in our life… But it’s a feeling which he himself feels guilty about having. Because maybe… he doesn’t actually… Want to hurt Chihaya? But because he thinks the worst of himself, the fact he even felt momentarily good that she might be hurting too, makes him not want to ever be apart of Chihaya’s life anymore (he can’t go back). Yes this is all apart of his master scheme where he selfishly thinks that he doesn’t even deserve to be in Chihaya’s life! Taichi the incel or whatever.

Taichi and Chihaya did eventually start mending their relationship slowly and gradually over the course of the last 100 chapters. Taichi came back to watch Chihaya win against Arata, he apologized for ditching the club, they cleaned the clubroom together (things accumulated), and then they played as a team in the Qualifiers and Challengers. Taichi had time to process the rejection but based on the final chapter, and tbh EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER AFTER 205, seeing Chihaya and Arata side by side accomplishing their dreams and looking like an amazing couple (y’know thing he wanted for himself) hurts him even if he is also simultaneously happy for them. Taichi is written like a human being and not a happy go lucky robot that can take every single L in life and be better off for it.

Part of Taichi’s initial motivations for becoming good at Karuta were toxic: he wanted to get good so that Chihaya could notice him and then maybe she would fall in love with him. Since Taichi knew Chihaya was a “Karuta Baka” and seemingly only got flustered when she saw someone with skill (for example her first “crush” was on her married sensei LMAO).

Like was Taichi himself CLEARLY THINKS THAT CHIHAYA NEEDS A KARUTA MAN TO LOVE. Which he’s kinda right about at least initially lol.

So for Taichi actually the most important thing was not to “get over” his love for Chihaya, in fact what Taichi needed to find his own reasons to play Karuta outside of Chihaya’s love. Almost like it might have been linked to a void speech Or sOMething.

In the end, he FINALLY picks himself and his feelings by moving away instead of doing everything in his life for Chihaya’s sake (and lol he was never gonna stay in Tokyo just for Arata be serious). Which to me is not a bad idea, considering how much of his feelings he still carried the distance would help him be able to move on. It would not be good for anyone for him to remain in Tokyo being completely miserable and jaded while your two friends are in the beginning stages of their relationship (cause yeah Taichi the #1 strongest Chiharata believer in the manga). He was stepping away at least partially for their sakes as well.

Nor do I consider his decision to leave Tokyo a “cowardly” move? Taichi is leaving behind his life, his friends, his sensei(s), and his family and moving to someplace completely new. That takes bravery. Arata at least has a support network in Tokyo (outside of Chihaya and Taichi even!) like Hydro, Nishida, and the Shirinami society… who tf does Taichi even know in Kyoto lmao.

Unfortunately Taichi was not completely ok by the end of the manga. Sorry, it didn’t fit into your neat little timeline for when you thought Taichi should be comfortable being the third wheel for his two Karuta baka friends. He has the self esteem of a broken kite. Badum tsssss.

Nor was it like he dropped the news that he was moving away with the intention of hurting Chihaya even more and manipulating her to fall in love with him.

Taichi if he was still in his villain arc: “don’t call me. Don’t come to my house. We’re done.”

In Taichi and Chihaya’s final conversation in the clubroom Taichi doesn’t hide that he’s moving and states he simply needs a change of scenery but assures Chihaya that they will surely see each other again because they will always have Karuta. That is the exact same promise they made to each other as they were kids; a promise of everlasting friendship through their shared passions.

Sure, one could argue, because he wasn’t in Tokyo, they wouldn’t be as close as they before the break up and therefore he “didn’t really give her their friendship back”… BUT TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WOULD NEVER BE AS CLOSE as they were in high school!! In high school they were able to see each other every single day. BUT even if Taichi had stayed in Tokyo, all of them (Arata included) would be going to different universities. They would all be busy with their own studies and would probably only see each other at the Shirinami society (if Taichi and Chihaya only remained friends). So to be honest the distance only really stings if they decided to date (which they did so fk me upppp). Like it’s part of growing up, you don’t get to see your school friends as often anymore. It sucks, but that’s the way life is. But that doesn’t mean your friendship is worthless because you don’t live in the same city anymore? WE HAVE CELLPHONES.

We can debate all we want if Taichi wouldn’t have moved to Kyoto IF Chihaya confessed earlier but ultimately it doesn’t change the fact that in the end he put his feelings first. Which is what he should do!! HE SHOULD NOT ROLL OVER AND GET STEAM ROLLED BY TRYING TO LIVE HIS LIFE SELFLESSLY FOR ARATA AND CHIHAYA FCK YOU.

Off topic rant: but when Arata announced to Taichi that he was moving to Tokyo why did people think that it was something Arata did for Taichi? At that point TAICHI DEADASS THOUGHT TO HIMSELF SCREW YOU ARATA YOU’RE MY ENEMY. Arata did not know how to read the fking room it was lowkey embarrassing for him!! He didn’t ask Taichi if he wanted him there he assumed that they all wanted the trio back together. At this point in time TAICHI DID NOT.

However, the most important reason why it didn’t ruin Taichi’s arc is that Chihaya’s confession is not framed as Taichi’s “reward” for being cool with them being friends. Chihaya’s agency is at the forefront of her confession - it’s absolutely her choice. It’s the culmination of Chihaya’s arc of self discovery and finally being able to express her feelings with the help of her friends and finally knowing what those feelings are. She had been pondering her damn feelings for Taichi for 100 chapters like I’m very sorry that you missed it- but that’s on you

Just because it’s an annoying trope in other media where the rejected boy was the one the protagonist wanted all along does not instantly make it bad when it appears in a story… you have to look at how it’s executed. I know you some of you wanted a “progressive” story where the rejected boy “friend friend” would continue just be your closest friend even after getting rejected. But if that’s what you wanted, we got that with Arata? So like… huh. Why does it NEED to be Taichi? Is the universe who has it out for him or is it you because you hate him.

Chihaya’s confession wasn’t about Taichi’s feelings nor Arata’s but hers and hers alone so stfu about it “ruining Taichi’s arc” bitch ass what? It only ruins his arc if you were grading it under the incorrect assumption that Taichi’s big lesson was that he needed to be a loser in every aspect of life while Arata is a special boy who did nothing wrong ever therefore gets everything <3 IT WAS NEVER IMPLIED THAT SUETSUGU WAS WRITING TAICHI THIS WAY NOR IS THIS THEME THROWN OUT IF TAICHI IS THE ONE WHO GETS LOVED BACK? WHY DOES HE NEEDED TO BE A LOSER IN EVERYTHING?? HE ALREADY LOST IN KARUTA AND MADE PEACE WITH “LOSING” IN LOVE. I think it’s better actually that disappointment in life was split between two characters (Arata and Taichi) because it’s realistic that every character faces some disappointment in their life and has learn to cope?

Which is a perfect Segway to my next point:

[ 2 ] Arata needed to be formally rejected (again but better)

In the hell that is Chihayafuru discourse land where there are clowns on either side of the argument: there are two camps when it comes to Chihaya’s “answer” (or not a reply) to Arata’s confession. There are those who believe that Arata was never rejected that Chihaya instead said “wait until after I am Queen and then I’ll reject you” and there are those who believe Arata had already been soft rejected in ch 173.

It was funny the collective breakdown the other side had when Suetsugu said in a now deleted tweet that Arata had been soft rejected here and he knew it… THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE? SO MUCH FOR THEIR BOUNDARY RESPECTING KING

I was, of course, in the camp that believed that Arata had been soft rejected in this moment because Chihaya said “this is what’s up right right now” and mentioned nothing about having feelings for him. She just wanting to accomplish her dream and be the best in the world at Karuta. Saying “I’m focusing on other things” is actually not an uncommon way to let down people in Japan since it is more polite than saying outright that you’re not interested. Moreover, Chihaya never asks him to wait for a response… You’ll notice he says all of that about “coming closer” to her unprovoked. But I’m not discussing whether or not this was a rejection (this time). For the sake of the argument, let’s say Arata wasn’t rejected here… Then what.

This is apparently what people wanted Chihaya to say to him:

“Arata I realized at chapter 93 that I will always love you and Karuta but I actually lied to myself. You see I wanted to bait the omniscient presence that watches over my life because I like making people look like clowns. But yeah, don’t worry not all is lost I do love you but maybe like a friend though not a lover. Even though your confession was the one I preferred because it was like a marriage proposal. Anyways at least you’re Meijin and I am so utterly grateful for you all you’ve done for me like introducing me to the sport. Thanks so much for being the biggest support of me like when you made a team so I could beat your ass. Anyways learn how to use your phone ok? Love ya but not that way bye!”

Ok sorry LOL moving on. So the camp that thinks Chihaya did not reject Arata in that moment, did everyone think that Chihaya’s answer to his confession was “yes” and that she knew in that moment but she wanted to wait until after she had accomplished her dream to tell him so? GOD IT’S SO HARD TO EVEN ADDRESS CRITICISMS OF THE ENDING WITHOUT HAVING TO BREAK DOWN WHY THESE BELIEFS HAD NO PROPER FOUNDATION TO STAND ON TO BEGIN WITH. Because if Chihaya knew in that moment that she loved Arata back, wouldn’t she have said “this is an answer to your response” or MAYBE she would have said something along what Rion said to Makoto.

LIKE SENSEI DIDN’T PUT THIS IN FOR FUNSIES IT WAS TO TRY AND HELP PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER YOURSELF. “IS IT BETTER NOT TO SAY THIS NOW?”

So anyways, Chihaya did not promise after becoming the best in Japan that she would respond to him with a yes. In fact, she never said she would respond to him at all? So…

With the two added pages off in the Tankobon, it became clear that Chihaya didn’t even have all of her feelings sorted out by the time she became Queen. So we can simply write off Arata needing to be formally rejected directly after he won Meijin because Chihaya did not know yet how she felt. Thank you so much Suetsugu for that.

Which even if she had fully sorted her feelings and decided that she loved Tacihi… I agree with the notion that it would actually be super shitty for Chihaya to ruin probably the best day of Arata’s life with a rejection? Like “congrats on the win buddy, anyways I don’t love you! Ok BYE”

Like why would you think that is a better outcome for him? But I get it, this would be the last moment Chihaya and Arata would see each other before uni because of the simple fact he lived in Fukui so if she was going to say something in person then it would have to be there.

But thankfully Arata gave Chihaya a little more leniency, to you know, let him know how she felt (if it was any different) when he moved to Tokyo. So quite frankly it’s not even like he asked her to respond to him after she became best in the world EITHER.

So then the alternative to telling him in person would be to what… Text Arata the moment Chihaya and Taichi started dating? PLEASE HOW WOULD A TEXT BE BETTER? I don’t know, YOU GUYS ALWAYS SAID Arata was apparently pretty chill waiting too? So it’s not like he was urgently fading away and they were so heartless for not texting him the MOMENT they got together. What is he, the Jesus in their relationship?

I just wanted a reason to put this meme here

So I think honestly the best thing was in fact to tell Arata TOGETHER the next time Taichi and Chihaya saw him in person. Chihaya did not need to pull him aside alone and have a deep conversation and tell him his worth to her as a friend? Their relationship would actually remain the same because the thing Arata did want the most was a future where the three of them (the trio) could be together whereas TAICHI WANTED A FUTURE ALONE WITH CHIHAYA.

Like for example Taichi even though he had more time to process his rejection it’s not like him and Chihaya ever had a heart to heart about what happened either so it’s odd you think Taichi would have not needed one but Arata should have?

I also think Arata probably won’t need as much time to process the rejection because he’s already been established to brush off adversary quickly. Plus let’s give him a little credit he’s been waiting for almost a year for a response for his confession like… The guy should have had time to think perhaps Chihaya’s answer would be no with how long it took to get back to him. Does that make him a bit pathetic? Yeah. And that’s ok because I love a pathetic man.

Taichi’s presence was probably also needed because when you think about it last time Chihaya tried to reject Arata he said “just you wait I’m coming to be closer to you”. SO maybe she thought oh if my boyfriend is here he’ll take it as a clearer no… BUT THEN ARATA STILL MADE THAT JOKE ABOUT WINNING HER AT 28 REGARDLESS. Like Arata my little bi disaster please you’re not helping your own case cdndkncj. But honestly no hate to Arata using comedy to cope. WHY DO YOU THINK I AM SO FUNNY?? I learned at a young age if you make fun of the way people make fun of you that their insults hurt less. Wow I’m dropping my trauma in the essay about the ending of Chihayafuru I’m so classy.

But the biggest thing is CHIHAYA SHOULD NOT HAVE TO REJECT ARATA BEFORE CONFESSING TO THE GUY SHE LIKES. Like you guys are fricking weird placing more importance over Arata’s feelings INSTEAD OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS?? IT’S HER ARC OF SELF DISCOVERY AND I WOULD NOT HAVE EXPECTED HER TO GO BACK AND TALK TO TAICHI BEFORE ACCEPTING ARATA’S CONFESSION EITHER.

It’s funny coming from the people being like “I SHIP THE SHIP WHERE THE GIRL CLEARLY LIKES THE GUY AND YOU LOSERS ARE NOT RESPECTING HER AGENCY CAUSE SHE REJECTED THE OTHER” the way that broke down when the character picked the one you didn’t like or even consider could be still in the running.

So no, the story didn’t need Arata to be re-rejected in a more formal manner in the ways you guys are suggesting. However, I do think some aftermath for Arata’s story was actually necessary as he didn’t feel like he fully “grew up” compared to Taichi and Chihaya. Then my wish was granted because in the spin off chapter we see Arata coping with his heartbreak and moving to a new city without the expectation having his childhood trio back again.

LIKE in the spin off Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata’s relationship is honestly the best it’s ever been? They text each other more frequently (Arata learned how to use his cellphone) and Arata even talks to Chihaya without stumbling over his words and being awkward. It was so refreshing.

Obviously Arata was hurting a bit. After all, it was his first heartbreak and he spent idk 2 years with a crush on Chihaya? Now that he’s in Tokyo he’s feeling… lonely. Which is ironic because when he was in Fukui he felt loneliness because of the distance. Even so, moving to Tokyo was actually good for him because he is making new connections. Now he has a super cute girlfriend named Sumire who finally can appreciate HOW HOT ARATA IS and be the little spoon he has always wanted. The end! <3

I know most people hate the idea of “pair the spares” but Arata and Sumire have the most compatible zodiac signs so it’s not MY fault it’s written in the stars??? But honestly they aren’t “paired” together in the end, just that hey life moves on and Suetsugu is saying there are plenty other opportunities for love (except Suetsugu did confirm to me personally that Arata and Sumire got married so sorry bye).

Unfortunately there is more to say about Arata’s rejection though (which I am breaking up into smaller points).

2.1 - THE TONE OF ARATA’S “REJECTION”

I think one of the biggest problems with Arata’s “rejection” (or simply the confirmation that he didn’t get another shot when he moved to Tokyo) is the tone. I don’t think Suetsugu intentionally meant to make it funny (I can’t say for sure)… However, the abruptness of it IS SO COMEDIC FUNNIEST PART OF THE CHAPTER FR.

Like when I first heard that Arata was rejected by Chihaya and Taichi telling him they were dating, I actually thought this can’t be serious and someone was making a joke. BUT IT WAS REAL. It goes from a beautifully deep line from Chihaya’s confession to Arata saying “WAIT A SECOND YOU TWO ARE DATING??” THE WHIPLASH SDKJNDKJ

Like I’m sorry IT IS SO FUNNYYYYYY the million periods on that one page was for me because I was in disbelief.

I think the problem here is due to the absolute ROCKET SPEED pace of the final chapter. For whatever reason, everything needed to happen in the final chapter with little breathing room. I don’t know if I agree with that writing choice… I think the story could have benefitted from stretching this stuff out over 2-3 chapters.

In my perfect world, there would maybe be a bit of set up and wouldn’t go from profoundly beautiful line that had me wiping my tears to comedy? Maybe have Chihaya and Taichi planning to tell Arata to show that they care about him? (Even though their expressions say that they feel very guilty and awkward about it). So then it feels less like a joke and more like two friends awkwardly trying to explain to their friend that they are dating and break his heart gently.

To be honest who even knows if Taichi and Chihaya walked up with the intention of telling him they were dating (again what is he a parent they need permission from?) Maybe Arata saw something and inquired? Maybe they were caught off guard and were going to tell him after the tournament or something. Again, it’s not clear LMAO. What was important were these two facts: that the story ended with Arata knowing he wouldn’t have a chance with Chihaya and that Chihaya and Taichi did in fact start dating.

So for those who thought Arata’s feelings of love were very serious and profound and deserve to be treated with respect I can understand hell I can even respect why the comedic tone of his “rejection” would upset you. Even I was slightly /expecting/ a private conversation… not whatever this was.

However, again I think people projected that Arata’s feelings for Chihaya were a lot deeper then what they actually were. Perhaps this abrupt reaction is meant to say that his feelings were not as deep as people thought and he is a person who is able to brush it off and be happy for his friends? I guess he has more emotional maturity in that way… But he still has to make his stinky little joke. He’s 18 years old and I forgive him.

It’s his growth!! He looks like he’s about to throw hands with Taichi but instead he sticks with his incel joke!

I do get also why people were led to believe there would be some epic conclusion or at least thoughtful rejection because Arata still confessed to Suou that he was playing alongside the girl he liked. So it’s the result of the love triangle being kept so strictly ambiguous to the bitter end (after 246 you should have known but ok) that really did make some people look like clowns at the end. I admit, it could have easily been me, in your shoes. But I acknowledged my clowndom at every turn, so if it all backfired on me I could have left with a morsel of my pride.

So essentially yeah I think the tone being comedic was /probably/ the wrong choice. (Again what happened wasn’t comedic it was the abruptness which was comedic). However the tone was fine for me though. I liked having a little laugh after all of the trauma this manga put me through. Arata king you’re the funniest little guy fr.

2.2- ARATA’S STINKY JOKE

I don’t hate that Arata made a lighthearted joke and teased Taichi one last time after getting rejected (like the demon of Karuta he is). What I hated is the content of the joke. It felt very “wink wink nudge nudge” to the reader- like haha Taichi and Chihaya are long distance now and their proximity was THE ONLY REASON THEY FELL IN LOVE! (It never was).

You see I am of the belief that Arata blamed things outside of his control (living in Fukui) rather than focusing on the things he could control. Like responding to fking emails or text messages OR GIVING CHIHAYA YOUR NUMBER AND NOT TAICHI, BITCH BOY?? (I’m fine).

Like he is like “I am so lonely because I am not next to my friends” instead of trying to make friends with the people who lived around him too? Like ARATA I really feel for you, because you just like me fr.

So yeah, Arata’s joke did not land for me. It could go, and I would be happier. Also it makes Arata look like he didn’t have his moment of growing up even though his he was managing his negative emotions very well while his heart was being stomped on (those who know, know).

Let me reiterate, I don’t hate the fact that he made a joke, just that particular joke I dislike. My joke of choice: “haha you guys only announced it now because you want the Meijin to fumble in the tournament, nice try I’ll smoke your asses”

2.3 WHAT ABOUT CHIHAYA’S GROWTH?

This is the only argument I can /somewhat/ get behind. That if Chihaya had been able to reject Arata in a more formal manner then it would show how much she has grown. Yes, because one of Chihaya’s central themes is that she doesn’t know how to express herself at least in words and has a difficulty forming connections with people.

That’s why she clings to Karuta because it makes it easier for her to connect. However, I’m not too too mad that Chihaya still continues to have difficulty expressing herself. She told Taichi she loved him with a simple “I love you” and she rejects Arata with “I am dating Taichi”. Though simple, in both cases they clearly express Chihaya’s feelings.

That brings us to the whole thing of people being like “BUT SHE WROTE ARATA POEMS!!!” Like it’s some kind of GOTCHA that Chihaya always loved Arata and the author “forgot” INSTEAD OF IT BEING PURPOSEFUL? The point was her poetry was VERY BAD and that she still even there couldn’t express how she was feeling very well. SHE COULDN’T WRITE A POEM.

So while Chihaya has grown it is not so on the nose that by the time she leaves high school she is a perfectly articulated person with an elegance to with her words… Sometimes that is a struggle you work on for your entire life. The point is she has grown from the start, instead of forgetting Arata’s confession for like what was it 6 months? She makes sure to tell him the minute she sees him in person. Eyyyoo. Also she continued to reflect on her feelings and thought about love not just being the person you want to play in Karuta but something more profound.

I also think the bond that Chihaya and Arata shared was about as clear as the bond Taichi and Chihaya shared. Chihaya never explicitly discussed how important Taichi was to her to him EVEN IN HER CONFESSION… so why should she have to tell Arata that he’s important???

Then there was this idea that Chihaya needed to “earn” back Arata’s friendship after rejecting him (by telling him of his importance). DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?? You said Taichi shouldn’t have quit the club, he should have suffered through it and not received a single thing from Chihaya but yeah Chihaya needed to EARN Arata’s friendship. BE SERIOUS LISTEN TO THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND THEN REFLECT ON YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS!! I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU NO MORE.

Like there is just so many double standards for the way people wanted Arata to be treated vs. how they were cool with the way that evil villain Taichi was treated.

TL;DR

Arata did not need a private conversation with Chihaya where she reassured him of his worth as her friend or their platonic love. It parallels the simple way Chihaya communicated her feelings with Taichi. Arata did however need to be given time to “grow up” but it did actually happen in the bonus chapter. We see how the three of them have mended their friendship despite going down different paths- they are united though Karuta. I do think there is some merit to the idea that Arata’s rejection would benefit from a few more pages of set up so the tone wouldn’t be so comedic.

Overall there are some flaws in how Arata’s rejection was executed but nothing that breaks the story. Unless you were very invested in the seriousness of Arata’s feelings of love. You guys said you can’t find your soulmate at 18 you know that applies for Chiharata too right??

I’m crying because I’ve only really broken down two points of criticism and yet I’ve been talking shit for so long. SO unfortunately there will be a part 2 to this discussion that I will write /someday/ because I have only just scratched the surface. Just it probably won’t happen very soon because I AM TIRED GRANDPA.

But if you do want to see it like you’re gonna have to respond to this wall of text otherwise I won’t do it this took me so fking long LMAO.

SPECIAL THANKS TO @/AIMEEEFACE ON TWITTER FOR BOUNCING IDEAS AND I MAY HAVE INCORPORATED SOME OF HER THOUGHTS HERE ON MANY OCCASIONS

Thanks Charles Outty

#chihayafuru #Chihayafuru manga #chihayafuru spoilers #chihaya ayase #taichihaya #chihayafuru thoughts #taichi mashima #Chihayafuru ending #Chihayafuru ch 247 #manga #arata wataya

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cristina-t · 8 months ago

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chapter 8

Sage had a problem with chewing on her lip when she was anxious.

Which was exactly what she was doing now, with everything going down between the pogues and her breakup with JJ, the one main thing on her mind being if they’ll still want to hang out with her.

She never fully knew what the pogues thought of her. Especially since in the beginning it was very obvious who wanted her there and who didn’t.

Apparently the boat belonged to Scooter Grubbs. The dead beat old guy known for buying singular cigarettes cause that’s all he could afford. So the question between all of them was how could he afford one of the most expensive boats on the market?

Instead of focusing on that, the pogues all decided to throw a kegger, try and act chill despite the fact that they were on the crime scene and took evidence from it.

Sage couldn’t possibly believe this was a good idea, how could throwing a party be a good idea?

She knew firsthand that alcohol lowered your inhibitions, drinking was not a good idea. All it took was one too many drinks and someone would blab.

She began to nervously chew on her bottom lip, her eyes scanning the area while everyone else set up the keg.

She could feel the tension- oh god were they judging her? Had JJ told everyone that they had broken up? It definitely feel like something he’d do.

She froze as Ruby handed her a cup- the two eyed each other, Ruby seemed almost.. afraid..?

What reason would she have to be afraid of her? Sage had always been kind to her. Well at least she thought.

“ thanks..” Sage said quietly, taking a long sip of the beer, all Ruby offered was a nod and a timid smile before going back over to John B.

John B.. yea that was another issue.. that little moment on the window at the motel? It had been plaguing her mind all day. What did it mean?

She found John B cute, his fluffy brown hair and those big brown eyes- Sage nearly choked on her drink and shook her head.

No way. She did not have a crush on John B.

Over the course of the night everyone had split up, John B was at the keg, Kiara was talking to some guy and Pope was failing miserably at flirting with a touron.

Ruby was the first to slip away almost immediately, no one had seen her all night.

And just a few minutes ago JJ had also slipped away.

And that left Sage, looking out at the party, she felt like a fish out of water. She couldn’t stand the Kooks but was she even welcome with the Pogues?

She sighed and looked down at her cup, she didn’t feel like she belonged anywhere.. that’s what it always been like, no matter where she is, always out of place.

“ hey princess.. you okay?” John B’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she looked up, clearing her throat, “ yea.. maybe..? Okay no..” she finally admitted with a sigh.

“ what’s going on?” He asked, refilling her cup and leaning against the keg, “ uh JJ and I broke up..” she murmured, taking another long sip of her beer.

“ no shit.. you two finally called it quits? For real this time?” He asked and she nodded, “ yea.. it just didn’t feel right for either of us anymore, I guess?” She admitted.

Sage didn’t know why she was even telling John B all this, but it was strangely comforting to finally have someone she could confide in.

The two ended up talking for majority of the night, and she actually felt herself feeling better. It was like a weight had been lifted off her.

She was beginning to see John B in a new light, she truly noticed him now.

And she began to think that maybe, just maybe having a crush on John B wouldn’t be so bad after all..

#john b routledge #john b x oc #sage medici #ruby routledge #obx fic #obx fic x oc

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healerelowen · 8 months ago

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Hello Hello! This is another part of my mini series, Steelclan Shenanigans! Surprise part for the one and only Luke! A neighboring kittypet who’s Steelclan’s honorary and singular daylight warrior. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, and have a good rest of your day/night!

-Spring feelings-

“Quit stepping on my tail, mouse-brain!” Stoatstar jerked his tail away as it hissed at the cat behind it. “Sorry.” Luke mumbled as he followed the Steelclan leader. The two were going on a border patrol, just before Luke had to return to his twolegs at night. It made the travel easier, since the border of twoleg place was not too far away from the Meadowclan border. Stoatstar always volunteered to go with the kittypet, though, despite how the leader seemed to despise the dark brown cat. Something about ‘keeping watch for anything that could disturb the clan,’ he had said. Luke didn’t bother, he was just glad that he wasn’t just fending on his own all the time out here.

Not that he ever really was, most of Steelclan took to him almost right away. It was the other clans, especially Forestclan, that had a more difficult time adjusting to him being there. But Luke remembers, so clearly, how fiercely Stoatstar had stood up for him at a gathering. How piercing his icey, blue eyes were, how its light brown fur bristled as it told the other leaders off in a way that Luke had never seen from the leader before. It made Luke’s heart race every time he thought about it, and it provided an odd sense of comfort, knowing someone like him would have his back.

“-Luke?” He snapped out of his daze and up at Stoatstar, who unsurprisingly had a judgemental look on his face. “You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?” Luke looked sheepishly to the growing stalks of water reed as they passed by a small pond. Stoatstar only sighed and turned his attention back to the path ahead, “Of course you didn’t. I would expect nothing less of you.” For the first time in a while, Luke finally spoke up, “I mean, I’d guess you wouldn’t keep your expectations too high for me anyway.” Stoatstar…tensed, ear flicking once. “What do you mean?” He asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Just with me being a daylight warrior, and not a real warrior like you or the rest of Steelclan.” He admitted. Luke startled when Stoatstar suddenly stopped in his tracks, and he was met with a firm yet caring gaze from the stoat-colored cat in front of him. “Don’t call yourself that.” Stoatstar lectured, though it lacked any bite. “You are a real warrior, Luke. I’ve seen you, and you are just as capable as the rest of us are. You’re one of us now, Luke: a Steelclan warrior, just like me or anyone else in the clan. You have been for a while. And if I can’t make the other clans realize it, then I’ll be damned if I can’t make you realize it either. Because you’re more than just the simple kittypet they think you are.” Luke’s heart felt like a fish leaping out of the water, he was truly touched by the leader’s words.

“I..I don’t know what to say, thank you..” Luke mewed, and Stoatstar shifted back into motion. “Don’t mention it.” He mumbled, it seemed to be a bit more embarrassed from the raw emotion of the lecture. Luke couldn’t help the warm and fuzzy feeling stirring beneath his pelt as they made the trek to the twoleg fences lining the border. The two stopped before the tall wooden fence that marked Luke’s home, or ‘twoleg nest’ as Stoatstar had called it. Luke always found the little names that the clan cats had for kittypet terms endearing, it was quite entertaining to see what they could conjure up. “Well, this is it..” Stoatstar said, but Luke couldn’t help but notice the twinge of longing in his eyes as it stared at the top of the fence.

Luke didn’t want to wait any longer, so he brushed his cheek onto Stoatstar’s chest fur. He felt the cat stiffen beneath his pelt, “Luke, what are you-!?” It had yowled but Luke’s hushed voice quickly interrupted. “I don’t want to go back yet, just a few more moments, please..” Stoatstar muttered something about worrying the clan by staying out too late, but he didn’t move away, quite the opposite. Slowly, carefully, Stoatstar had curled his lanky tail around Luke’s smaller body, resting its cheek on top of the dark brown cat’s head. The silence that followed was comfortable, before Luke had to pull away. He was hesitant to meet Stoatstar’s gaze, but he didn’t have to, as the slim warrior pressed his nose to Luke’s cheek briefly before quickly pulling back.

Luke stared up at the flustered leader in surprise, whose ears were flattened, but not out of distaste (mostly). ‘His ears must be hot from embarrassment,’ Luke guessed. The little cat simply smiled and quickly pressed his nose to the light-brown cat’s before pulling back again just as it had done with him. “See you tomorrow then?” Luke couldn’t help but purr with delight. Stoatstar was the one to shy away this time, as the leader looked down to the side. ‘Yeah whatever. Just go back to your nasty twolegs.” He muttered, but Luke was only amused further by the leader’s antics. “Alright then,” Luke said before he hopped onto the top of the fence, stopping at the top as he called down to the cat on the other side. “Stoatstar?” The leader looked up at him, “What?” The dark brown cat chirped, “I love you, you know that?” Before Stoatstar could respond, light shined from the twoleg den as a tall twoleg seemed to be calling for Luke. The cat disappeared over the fence, leaving Stoatstar alone in filtered light before darkness had fallen onto him once again. “Yeah..” He murmured, staring after where Luke had been. “I love you too, Luke..”

#steelclan #stoatstar #luke carder

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riken-leather-co · 1 year ago

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Bapzo Propaganda | Day 20: Found Family |

Baptiste lost his family at a young age, one of the many orphaned during the Omnic War. It left nothing but devastation in its wake. Children crying out for their parents wondering what was happening. His parents hadn’t been one of those sent to fight in the war. No, his parents had been one of the million civilian casualties of war. He’d lost them during the chaos as they tried to run, his hand slipping from theirs as the panicked crowd shoved him aside. It was a sea of screaming and crying, the noise seared into his brain. Somehow he’d lived, cowering, cowering, and more cowering.

When the dust had cleared he’d seen their bodies.

They had to learn how to survive after that. The war had left large, long lasting scars on society that they had to deal with. To survive sometimes you had to do bad things, kill good people. Or, at least that’s what he’d believed when he was younger. He’d banded together with other orphaned kids, and in a way, they’d become his new family. Roseline was like a sister to him. Of the kids they’d grown up with, they’d dwindled until it was him, Roseline, and a singular handful of kids he couldn’t remember the names of.

Family was a subjective word. Some only considered sharing blood their family, some said that home was where the heart was. Baptiste mostly fell into the ladder. As someone whose cousins were more strangers than strangers were, he believed that water could be thicker than blood. His one flaw was that despite the scars life had left on him, Baptiste considered people his family far too easily. An orphan in a growing body still desperately trying to find a family to love him unconditionally.

He thought it was it with the Caribbean Coalition. Doing what he had to in an attempt to help his community. Fighting alongside people he considered brothers. Baptiste remembers many a laugh and drinks, but just as many quiet solemn moments. But, Baptiste always wanted more and more which landed him in Talon’s clutches. Talon was no family. Sure, there was Sombra, Mauga, and for a period of time a few members of the Coalition that’d joined with him. The first to go were the Coalition when Baptiste came to his senses and realized everything they were having him do, what he was doing. Next was Mauga when he refused to come to his senses. Not that it stops the man from hunting him down relentlessly.

Sombra is the only one Baptiste truly regretted leaving behind.

“Baptiste?”

Baptiste blinked. The lounge was awash with noise, some of the loudest people gathered in one area. Lucio and Hana were bickering over something - either music or a video game, he supposed. Cassidy was playing a game of cards with Tracer. They looked equally confused - Cassidy had gone through three cigars in the last hour he believes. He had half the mind to chide the cowboy about it. But, he knew Cassidy wouldn’t listen to him - and that Mercy had already tried. It was busy but Baptiste enjoyed the company, it made it feel like….

“What’re you doing here?” Baptiste asked, leaning his head back against the couch he was sitting on.

“Looking for you.” Hanzo said bluntly. He cast a wary glance at the others. Though Hanzo didn’t detest human interaction anymore, he still didn’t like too much noise or movement for a prolonged period of time. “What are you doing here?”

“People watching.” Baptiste looked back at everyone. Cassidy had saluted upon seeing Hanzo before returning back to his card game. Lucio and Hana had stopped arguing, coming to an agreement. He felt a warm feeling blossoming in his chest, a smile playing on his lips. “Do you ever regret joining Overwatch?”

“…Not anymore,” Hanzo muttered, sitting down beside Baptiste. Baptiste glanced at Hanzo and saw him watching the others with a contemplative expression.

Baptiste bumped his shoulder against Hanzo, jerking his chin towards them. “I don’t think we chose bad this time.”

“No.” Hanzo glanced at him, the corner of his eyes wrinkling a little as he smiled softly. “I don’t think we did.”

#jean baptiste augustin #overwatch #overwatch 2 #hanzo shimada #whumptober 2023 #fanfic #no.20 #found family #bonding

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aikoiya · 1 year ago

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So this is their profile. A TERF (You may know what that acronym means, but I don’t want to assume) is an acronym for Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist. That, in my opinion, is nothing anyone with a mindful heart and compassion and empathy for people in general should ever strive to be. It’s not a nice thing to be, never has been.

Aikoiya: But, how do we know that they are explicitly transphobic & not just concerned for the erasure & marginalization of women? After all, have not women also been marginalized & oppressed? At what point does acceptance of others encroach upon one’s own rights?

I agree that the regular everyday trans individual should be treated with respect, but I also don’t believe that affirmation should come at the cost of other people’s safety or the erasure of their efforts. No matter what you do, there will always be rotten evil people out there in every category of people & safety should always come first. I’ve seen more supposedly trans individuals using such status to do some truly disgusting things than I want to believe.

There seems to be this general assumption that being trans somehow erases one’s biological sex or, at least, certain attributes of one’s biological sex. The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t. There will always be evidence of who they were & that’s true even of those not trans & simply wishing to live a new life. Some things just follow you forever & there’s nothing you can do about it. Should be simply ignore such things in regards to something that would be directly affected by them for the sake of feelings or should we treat the situation with nuance & care?

I, personally, think that there is an increasing issue in women’s sports of transwomen beating out biological women these days.

Consider Lia Thomas & Anne Andres.

https://www.outsports.com/trans/2022/3/1/22948400/transgender-trans-athlete-championship-national-world-title

However, I’ve heard little to no news of transmen demanding to be let into men’s spaces or to be a part of men’s sports. So why are transwoman so vocal about it?

For instance, take into account Quinn. Who is biologically female, but is both trans & non-binary, yet chooses to play on the women’s soccer team.

There’s also the issue of transwomen demanding to be put into women’s prisons. There have been claims of transwomen raping their inmates. Some even getting said victims pregnant. Should we still continue to allow transwomen into women’s prisons despite it possibly putting women in danger?

If so, then aren’t you putting the comfort of one criminal before the literal health & safety of another? And if you think these things aren’t happening, then you truly have an idealized idea of a singular group of individuals.

Just because someone is traumatized doesn’t mean they won’t visit similar trauma upon others. That’s the entire basic premise of abusive parenting, in that it is a cycle of pain that keeps going until someone decides to end it. Though, not everyone is going to decide to end it, some rather taking the easy route that makes them feel good in the moment.

Are trans individuals somehow immune to such tendencies simply by virtue of being trans?

Question is: Do you believe that being transgender automatically make someone incapable of any form of evil? Does it make them without any wickedness or selfishness or cruelty in their hearts simply because they are of a marginalized group?

For instance, Eli Erlick, has boasted openly, meaning that he admitted to it, about dealing cross-sex hormones, including puberty blockers, to kids. Yet, he has not been convicted. And if he were, do you suggest that he go to a male prison where there are convicted male rapists who would love nothing more than a new person to use however they wish, regardless of what his orientation is?

3 other questions: Do you believe there to be a biological difference between males & females? And if not, then why would people need to transition to begin with?

Also, do you consider gender a social construct & capable of change, while sex is biological & concrete, being incapable of true change? If so, why try to change something immutable for the sake of something mutable?

If you wish to hate & despise me for these thoughts, I will not blame you, but I try to see an argument from both sides & I can understand why some of the less radical of such individuals see things the way they do.

I only ask that you simply block me.

Just know that these thoughts do not come out of hatred, rather concern & a desire for safety for others.

#submission

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genesysofthestars · 7 months ago

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Day 57 (56.5)

His legs were starting to feel numb but when there's a cat deciding to use his lap as his napping area, there's no way he could move at all. So until this cat awoken, Erick resigned him as this cat’s pillow for the time being…

Until his bus arrived.

“Hey, Maurice. I have to go now.”

“Mrr…” The cat only cuddled deeper on his lap.

He didn’t want to leave the cat alone in the city. And it was already too late to search for his owner. Erick sighed. “Guess I had no choice.”

—

First thing he did was to give the cat some water. Who knows how long the cat had been wondering around in this warm afternoon.

Maurice immediately began sipping the water Erick laid down for him. “Hope you don’t mind staying with me tonight,” he said before letting him finish his drink.

After arranging his groceries and changing clothes for the night, Erick lay on the coach. It was quite late but he still don’t feel like sleeping. As he scrolled down on his phone mindlessly, a sudden weight landing on his chest caught him off guard. He moved away his phone to see the cat sitting quite comfortably on him.

“Mew,” greeted Maurice.

“Do you-?” He was about to shoo him away but the cat already tucked himself on him. Erick let out a tired sigh and said, “Fine, you stay there for a little bit.”

But a little bit became hours when they fell asleep not long after.

—

The sound of knocking both woke them up.

However, after opening his eyes, Erick didn’t think to glance to the door. The sound was not coming from a wooden material. It was glass. And there was only one person who would knock on the windows this late at night.

He hated how he got used to these meetings of theirs. But after so much times, he just got to adapt to her. Erick glared at the window to see the golden caped thief perched on the other side. “What is it this time?” he asked.

“You stole something from me,” she said from the other side of the glass.

He gave her a ridiculous look. “First of all, I’m not the thief here. Second, I didn’t steal shit, especially from you.”

Singularity crossed her arms. “You have my cat!”

“Cat? What cat-? Wait…” He suddenly lifted up Maurice, grumpy from being woken up. “This is your cat? Yours?!”

“Yes! His name is Maurice!”

Fucking hell… What a bloody coincidence. Fate truly hates him, huh?

Still he had his doubts. Erick set down Maurice, who was this close to scratching him from being awaken so rudely before going to the window. “Fine, if he’s really your cat…” He opened it to the fullest so she could enter. “Surely, he can recognize you-”

But before she could even take a step into his home, Maurice took off and suddenly jumped to Singularity… who was still perched on the window.

It was only Erick’s quick reflects that saved her and her cat from falling from imbalance. Grabbing one of her arms, he pulled her back with his full strength. However, it still caused her to tip out of balance and despite being recorded floating in the air, the thief wasn’t as light as news said her to be.

Erick could only let out a pained hiss as her full weight plus her cat crashed straight on him.

So much for a relaxing night.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #(oc: erick)#100 words a day #(oc: erina)#(oc: maurice the cat)#detective x thief

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randomfoggytiger · 11 months ago

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Great thoughts! I agree that Mulder has that tendency; but I differ, I think?, on when he would act on it in the series.

I hypothesize Mulder would be willing to put a gun to his head over extremes before Redux II; but that tendency became passive rather than active afterward (self-denial and punishment is his drug of choice over self-sacrifice, after all-- despite what CSM says.)

I think that's why Redux II was such a turning point for him: before then, he was railing at the sky and putting guns to his heads. But after CSM offered him the deal, after he cried his eyes out at Scully's bedside, after he had to reconcile himself to a life without her regardless of what he did or didn't do....

Mulder chose to do what was right. Mulder chose life.

There was a shift the next day before his hearing: he was going to the FBI, and he was going to tell the Truth. He would be prosecuted, likely imprisoned, perhaps even put to death. But he was willing to stand and even die for that cause. What he wasn't willing to do was betray himself and his beliefs, the things which Scully was sacrificing her life for. He'd go down fighting; but not by pointing pistols at himself.

"And why did you come here if you'd already made up your mind?"

"Because I knew you'd talk me out of it if I was making a mistake."

The shift was that Mulder realized Scully would reject the notion that he hang up his principles, sell-out, give up-- even and especially for her sake. So, that was off the table. And she would willingly sacrifice her reputation, not just her life, to spare him, to keep him alive. So, death was off the table. What was left? The truth.

Chasing revenge against CSM single-handedly was bound to get him fruitlessly killed; but tearing down the system publicly-- nothing held back, no one to hold him back-- while they prosecuted him would be a way to stand by the Truth and take the system down simultaneously.

Mulder was pardoned quickly after the hearing because (theoretically) he destroyed Blevins's reputation with a singular accusation (and one the committee didn't know was unfounded.) It was best to give him a freebie (as a @perpetually-weirdening anon?/ask called it) because they didn't know what tricks Mulder had up his sleeve; and weren't ready to find out when the Syndicate were having some... issues behind the scenes.

I don't think Mulder would have committed suicide: I think he would have transitioned his search for Samantha to justice for Scully (because he thought his sister was alive but avoiding him); and would have battered down every secret in his path to get it. (And, for some reason, the Consortium was always weak in the knees at that possibility.) And I truly believe he would have met others like himself or Max Fenig or etc. along the way that would have given him further meaning, gentle reminders that life was something Scully clung to and enjoyed. And, after all was said and done, I think he would have found another purpose, as well. It wouldn't have been as complete or fulfilling, perhaps; but there are more people that need saving, others that need helping, and, ultimately, an alien invasion to fight against.

Suicide is a likely short-term answer for Mulder; but that hopeless solution was resolved, I believe, by his introspection in Redux II. It would have been wrong for them both, but especially so when she needed someone alive to fight her battles; and, Scully would have reasonably talked him out of it. And he wasn't willing to live with the guilt that he'd done something wrong after her death.

His glorious, red-wept eyes at the end of Redux II show his triumph as well as his relief and joy. He'd succeeded, avoided the temptation of throwing away himself and his life, and still had Scully at his side. ...Which is why Mulder begins crying again while looking at Samantha's picture. There, he thinks, he failed.

Those are just my two cents~; and they might change in the future.

https://www.tumblr.com/perpetually-weirdening/739281664003522560 okay but please say the things I'm begging you <3

well....i was going to say mulder would kill csm then himself.

like the back end of season 4 is how close mulder is to losing it. scully nearly has to watch him shoot himself in his childhood home, a year after the events of pusher. a big part of her fear during the cancer arc is what her death will do to mulder. at the end of gethsemane, he's sitting in his apartment crying, holding his gun, believing it's his fault scully was given cancer. the reason she's going to die. when he realizes his apartment is bugged, and he kills the man surveiling him, he goes right to scully's apartment to tell her about the fbi's involvement and her voice cracks. his self flagellation takes a back seat in his renewed fervor to save scully & take out the men responsible.

as scully is in the hospital, csm tries to use samantha against mulder again. and while he goes to meet her, it doesn't blind him to scully's predicament. his threat to csm is so real. mulder may know more about them now, but if "sam" won't talk to him, and scully dies... he always planned to follow her into death. he was just more determined to keep her alive.

ANYWAY. i saw this about an hour ago when i woke up but i thought i needed a minute and maybe everyone else did too.

#txf #xf meta #meta #S5 #Redux II #cancer arc #CSM #revenge #and journeys along the way #Mulder #Scully

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db-reviews · 2 years ago

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#139 - Angels and Daemons At Play - Motorpsycho (1997)

After their strange venture to more concrete songwriting prowess on Blissard, Motorpsycho would go back to more jammy songs for their next studio album. Unlike previous sonic experiments, the band decided to experiment with releases. Instead of just releasing their next studio workings, the band would instead release three EPs, all with various feels of music, and release them one by one with limited copies, and then combine those EPs together to create their 6th studio work. These three EPs, Babyscooter, Have Spacesuit Will Travel, and Lovelight all contribute to various feelings of this 50 minute extension of music in the Motorpsycho lineage.

If I had to describe Angels and Daemons At Play with one word, it’d be dense. This is a very densely packed album, with each EP contributing to the album’s general sonicscape in various ways.

The Baby Scooter EP is the introduction to the album, having the familiar, winding, and verbose sound of their more Psychedelic Alternative Rock efforts from Timothy’s Monster or their Manmower EP. What I like about this part of the album is that it holds no punches and just gets right to the chase immediately. It knows what you want, and it knows how to give it. A really solid foot forward within the band’s usual sound, while also doing some different things like emphasizing slower songs and more textural experiences, which I think absolutely helps with the feel for the album as a whole.

The real gemstone of the album for me and probably for other Progheads out there is the Have Spacesuit Will Travel parts of the album. On vinyl releases the band does add in the full EP into the workings, which end up making the album an hour and more long, but since I am stuck with the streaming version, the only song off that EP is Un Chien D’espace, but that’ll just have to do. Despite its singular song status, this is absolutely my favorite part of the album. This thirteen minute journey through more raw, heavy, and acidic feelings of music without it feeling overly drawn out or way too forced in the album’s general atmosphere makes this an extremely great song. Furthermore, this is their first TRUE progressive effort. I know I said in the Timothy’s Monster review that Timothy’s Monster was the band’s first progressive rock album, but in terms of sonically, Angels and Daemons At Play with the Have Spacesuit Will Travel parts really takes that cake.

Lastly is the Lovelight parts of the album, and this is probably the weakest EP of the album sadly. After the psychedelic wonderscape of Baby Scooter and the progressive rock beauty of Have Spacesuit Will Travel, this EP doesn’t deliver on a sound as well. It has an effort in a more pop punkish and general alt rock sound that bands like Green Day and The Offspring would bathe in, though Motorpsycho does try some newer things to keep that style of music on this EP to feel a little more adventurous than some efforts from those bands I have mentioned (Though Green Day did make some long songs on American Idiot a few years later.). What this EP lacks in is the eccentric energy previous EPs have, and even when there is energy, I never felt like the band was honing in on the music to make it truly special, but rather just playing for the sake of playing. I never found this part of the album to be entirely special, and I cannot help but find it really lacking in huge material that I’d be excited to hear again from the band’s efforts moving forward. Sad that this otherwise great album ended with a whimper rather than a bang.

Even despite the last EP, this is still another great effort from the band’s discography. It is kind of like a more streamlined, polished, and less heavy Demon Box with each part of the album contributing to improving and learning more of the band’s sounds. The vinyl edition is definitely the best way to experience the album, but the streaming and cd editions are also perfectly fine too. Another great effort from Norway’s best band.

4.5/5

#progressive rock #music review #album review #psychedelic rock #rock

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realcube · 4 years ago

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you flinch during an argument

navi | masterlist | taglist

thank you to anon for this request

characters ♡ suna, atsumu & sakusa

content warning ♡ cursing, angst, mentions of abuse, hurt to comfort, hinted ptss, parent!reader (in sakusa’s)

rintarō suna

♡ he paced back and forth through the living room, casting you dirty looks whenever you try to speak

♡ you rolled your eyes at how far he took your singular comment on his volleyball career

♡ you were aware that what you said might’ve offended him and in any other situation you would’ve just apologised but considering how needlessly confrontational he was being, of course you were going to be mean too

♡ ‘rin, you’re being overdramatic.’ you muttered off-handedly, assuming he’d brush it off like everything else you said, so ofc you did not expect what he did next

♡ he suddenly stormed over to you

♡ not only did he take you by surprise but also his furrowed brows and generally mad aura unnerved you too, so your natural instinct was to flinch

♡ once he saw that, he immediately stopped in his tracks

♡ his head slowly tilted to the side and his clenched jaw loosened, ‘(y/n)?’

♡ your hands were still covering your face but when you heard the suna’s soft voice, you realised what you had just done and craned your neck out to peer over your hands, ‘yes?’

♡ obviously, his intention wasn’t to hurt you but rather just stand in front of you. though it worried him that your natural instinct was to prepare yourself for harm from him. despite the fact he would/has never hit you.

♡ ‘are you okay?’ he sighed, slowly approaching you as if you were a small critter that’d run away in fright at any moment

♡ you hesitantly lowered your arms, eyes wide as you intensely examined his every move, ‘i’m fine. are you okay?’

♡ suna gestured to the seat beside you on the couch, ‘i’m good. can i sit?’

♡ you simply nodded

♡ he reluctantly sat down next to you and gently placed his hand on your knee, tracing circles with his thumb, ‘i didn’t mean to scare you. i’m sorry.’ he said, his now hushed voice contrasting to how sharp and loud his words were just a minute ago

♡ you blinked rapidly, shocked at how quickly his demeanour changed but also relieved he realised that what he did brought you discomfort, ‘it’s fine, i guess. it just looked like you were going to- y’know. and i’m sorry too, what i said was uncalled for’ you murmured, the words just falling from your lips without any prior thought as your mind was somewhere else

♡ ‘i’d never do that.’ he blurted out, ‘but i get why you might’ve thought.’

♡ a few minutes passed and not a word was spoken - you just blankly stared at the wall opposite, completely lost in thought while suna closed his eyes, slumped back in his seat and revaluated everything he did

♡ eventually, you snapped out of your contemplation and turned to look at him, only to see his sleeping figure beside you

♡ it was probably the most peaceful you’ve saw him all day - so you decided against waking him up and instead cuddled up to him, accidentally falling asleep yourself

atsumu miya

♡ you had your arms crossed over your chest, patiently waiting for atsumu to finish his hissy fit

♡ ‘it was a fucking joke, (y/n)! not that i’d expect you to understand my humour anyway. do you not get what you did? you fucking embarrassed me.’

♡ ‘it wasn’t a very funny joke, atsumu.’ you shook your head disapprovingly, trying your very best to keep a level-head but his nasty remarks didn’t make it an easy task for you, ‘you made me really uncomfortable so of course i was going to say something. also, i didn’t embarrass you, you embarrassed yourself.’

♡ the fact you weren’t as worked-up about this as he was only irritated him more. because deep-down, he knew he was being overdramatic and the contrast between both of your demeanours only highlighted this fact.

♡ he gritted his teeth together, momentarily side-eyeing you before absentmindedly cracking his knuckles

♡ he cracked his bones when he got tense - you knew this - but there was a faint voice at the back of your head, insisting that you had to run away bc he was preparing to hit you

♡ and it didn’t help when he jerked his head around to look at you

♡ though it was only the movement of his neck, this caused you to flinch as a part of you expected his hasty motion to be followed by a swing of his hand

♡ you never really thought too much of your action and assumed atsumu would pay no mind to it and continue to talk but you couldn’t have been more wrong

♡ he slapped his hand over his mouth and let out gasp as though his whole soul was exiting his body through his mouth

♡ your eyes were squeezed shut but you blinked them open to see when you mentally established that atsumu wasn’t going to swing at you and had actually stopped yelling

♡ ‘(y/n)- i’d- i’d never do that!’ the volume of his voice gradually rose as he spoke, starting as breathy emphasis and increasing to a cry

♡ upon noticed his appalled expression and his frozen structure, you dropped your arms which you had automatically raised in defence, ‘you’d never do what?’ you voice was hushed, afraid that if you spoke too loud, you’d reignite his temper

♡ he rushed over to your side, immediately opening up his strong arms for you to enter, if you wished, ‘i’d never hit you.’

♡ both his eyes and tone seemed sincere so without even thinking, you found yourself leaning into his embrace, his arms holding you close - but gently

♡ you really had no reason not to believe him as he’s never harmed you purposely in the past and he didn’t plan on harming you just there; he didn’t even plan on intimidating you but that kinda just happened involuntarily

♡ he had so much on his mind, so much he needed so say at once, so much he wanted you to know. hence, it all came out as rambles.

♡ ‘i love you, (y/n). i love you so much. i don’t want anyone to hurt you - including myself. i just want you to feel safe - i want you to be safe - so i’ll leave if you don’t feel that way with me around. i can understand why you wouldn’t. but heh, i guess it’s quite funny because i feel the safest when i’m with you. well, it’s not funny - i’m actually gonna miss you like hell - but it’s ironic. i wouldn’t even dream of harming you, love, but i don’t expect you to live in fear constantly so yeah, i’ll go if you want me to.’

♡ you blinked rapidly against his chest, pulling back to look him in the eyes and to your surprise, he appeared to be in more tears than you

♡ ‘i love you too, atsumu.’ you cooed, wiping away one of his tears with your shivering hand, ‘we don’t have to break-up. i mean, truthfully, i feel safe when you’re around too.’

♡ he let out an audible sigh of relief, ‘thank goodness.’

♡ a few moments passed of you just silently enjoying the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms until he spoke up once again while placing an infintite amount of kisses on your forehead, punctuating each kiss with an ‘i love you.’

kiyoomi sakusa

♡ he was sitting beside you on the bed but he had long before withdrew his arm which rested behind your head when you expressed your concern surrounding his hostile behaviour lately

♡ ‘omi, i’m too ti--’

♡ ‘don’t call me that.’

♡ you sighed as you realised that this had spiralled into a heated fight which you really didn’t intend for it to become. all you wanted to do was talk to him about how rude he’s been to you and the baby as of recently and try to work out a solution but he had turned this into something way bigger than it needed to be.

♡ the remarks he was throwing around - as if they were nothing - resulted in a wrath bubbling in the pits of your stomach, which had been present and building up since the start of sakusa’s attitude problems

♡ you knew that if this argument didn’t stop soon, you’d lash out on him and although you really didn’t have a problem with that in theory, you had spent hours trying to get the baby to fall asleep and you didn’t want to risk waking them up with the noise

♡ and though you hated to give sakusa (mental) praise in a situation like this, you had to admit that he was good at keeping his voice down even while angry

♡ so you decided that it was best to diffuse this situation quickly and pick it up at a later date, ‘you know what, kiyoomi--’

♡ ‘don’t call me that either.’ at this point it was clear he was just saying that to piss you off, and it was working

♡ ‘--i’m going to bed; i’m tired from doing all the work in this damn house. we’ll talk about this later.’

♡ sakusa quirked a brow, scoffing at your statement despite the fact it was completely true

♡ ‘no, let’s talk about it right now. since you clearly have a lot to say.’

♡ instead of replying, you gave him what he deserved - the silent treatment

♡ you casually pulled off your slippers, tossing them aside, proceeding to do other nightly activities - while completely ignoring his presence - then reached down to pull the duvet over yourself so you could drift into sweet, serene slumber to imagine a life where sakusa acted like loved you again

♡ ‘(y/n).’ sakusa snapped, his voice sharp and demanding, ‘listen to me. talk to me- god, you’re so immature.’

♡ your eyes widened; out of the corner of your eye you saw him quickly raise his arm

♡ during your three years of marriage with sakusa, not once had he ever purposefully harmed you - physically or emotionally - but you were aware that what you were doing displeased him so your immediate reaction was to turn away and shield yourself with your forearms

♡ sakusa froze

♡ moments passed and you had yet to feel the impact of his hand so you lowered your defences to peer at him, only to see that his arm was stretched upwards as he yawned

♡ his gaze flickered between you and his arm - he was truly at a loss for words at what he just witnessed

♡ a lump formed at the back of his dry throat as he didn’t dare to speak, trying to communicate all his emotions through his eyes which grew increasingly difficult as they began to burn with tears and ache from the elongated period of time he went without blinking

♡ he wanted to tell you that he’d never lay an finger on you in that way, that he adores you and he was aware of how he’s been treating you recently but he was previously too arrogant to change his ways. now he was ready to change though, if it’s not too late.

♡ but all that came out was a choked syllable followed by a cough

♡ ‘are you okay, omi?’ you tilted your head, watching as your husband coughed his lungs out beside you, his puffy, irritated eyes squeezed shut

♡ he eventually managed to catch his breath and the first thing he did was offer his shaky hand to you

♡ though you were reluctant at first, upon meeting his gaze, it was as though his fury had melted away. his eyebrows were no longer knitted together, his judgemental sneer was now a gentle smile he wore to try reassure you and the way he looked at you resembled how he did on your wedding day. all the resentment, all the stress and all irritation was gone - which left you with the considerate, understanding man you had married.

♡ you fingers found their way to his as you slowly intertwined them together, ‘we should, uh, g-get some rest, yeah?’ you stuttered, your lips gradually curling into a weak grin

♡ a faint hum of agreement could be heard from sakusa as he shuffled so he was now laying down, with a duvet draped over him

♡ though he lay with the intention of going to sleep, he kept his hand locked with yours all throughout the night

2K notes · View notes

dokoni-mo · 4 years ago

Text

She Truly Was || Muzan Kibustsuji x F!Reader

Summary: Enmu helps Muzan remember you.

SFW // Fluff with small amounts of Angst

Word Count: 4626

WARNINGS: *slight Mugen Train spoilers*, slight mentions of implied sexual activity, obsessive(?) behavior, Muzan is soft for one person only, some angst, mentions of injury, mentions of blood, I also barely proofread this lol

A/N: I've had this in my head for a while and decided to write it down. This is largely just a compilation of scenarios I made in my head to fall asleep at night when I was stressing over exams and stuff, all loosely thrown together with a plot. This is my first time writing for demon slayer, so please be patient! I also am basing a lot of my info about the characters on s1 of the anime, some of the manga, and the wiki. I apologize if something isn't accurate. tldr; I just think he's neat.

Despite having lived through thousands of years with hundreds of stormy nights in the midst, Muzan Kibutsuji never learned to appreciate them.

Something about nights like those in Japan just never sat right with the demon. It wasn't that they were too dreary, not at all. Life as a demon was plenty dreary. On the other hand, it wasn't that they were to lively either. No one ever went out on stormy nights; demon or not. Perhaps it was just because the rain was another reminder of the singularity that was being a demon. The poignant pitter patter just seemed to have a way of whispering to whoever heard it, telling them the most unpleasant yet quiet truths of their lives.

After Muzan's bloody meeting with the lower moons, he had told Enmu his task Muzan had planned for the pitiful, weaker demon. Although he had doubts that Enmu could hear him over the sound of the weaker demon's screams of pain from the blood he gave, Muzan was pleasantly surprised when Enmu understood the orders the first time around. Seeing as though it would cause trouble if the lower moon started to go around bragging about his newfound power and job, Muzan decided it would be best to keep a crimson eye on the demon.

This is what led to the scene before Muzan now.

Muzan had taken Enmu back to one of his many properties scattered across Japan, this one being tucked away in a lush, quiet forest in the middle of seemingly nowhere. The lower moon had not said a word throughout the entire journey there, and still refused to say anything now. Most likely out of fear.

Although it had been a long day of wrangling the lesser worms he called pawns (or "moons" if he was generous), Muzan did not want to show any weakness towards Enmu by resting. To busy himself, Muzan decided to do the tedious work the humans have him do in the job he took to please his human wife.

That insufferable woman.

With his bowler hat placed on his desk, Muzan had taken a seat in his large, leather chair, ordering Enmu to stand at the edge of the desk and face the opposite way. And, for extra edge, he was not to say or do anything.

It had been about two hours since then. The room was filled with only the sounds of Muzan's writing and the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner.

Although he ordered it to be that way, Muzan was already sick of it.

Peering his red eyes up from the papers scrawled below him, Muzan fixated his bone-chilling gaze upon the back of Enmu's head. Muzan could see the corners of the lower moon's mouth turned upwards as he faced the wall, presenting himself with an expression of dumb content.

Freak.

Enmu was definately a curious specimen. So eager to die, yet so eager to please Muzan. The demon lord would have been confused if he were not who he was.

Perhaps it was his own boredom setting in, perhaps it was because he wanted to feed his already gargantuan ego, or perhaps it was just because he was tired, Muzan decided to speak up.

"Tell me," Muzan said, his deep, smooth voice making Enmu perk up slightly, "Why is it that are you so loyal to me?"

Enmu took this as an opportunity to finally move, but not without some caution. The lower demon only turned his neck towards Muzan, along with a tilt of his shoulder. Muzan noted the disobedience of orders, but decided to let it slide this time.

The rain must have told him to be generous that night.

"Why, Master Kibustsuji," Enmu said, a faint blush adorning his cheeks, "It is because I am so delighted to be in your presence, and have my power be of service to you."

The demon lord felt his jaw clench at this, his red eyes peering up at the lower moon from under his abyssal lashes. Although Enmu had an... odd, way of putting things, Muzan always did like it when someone stroked his ego, even if all they ever said was the same banter over and over again. He was nearly perfection, afterall.

Muzan sat quietly and pondered Enmu's response for a second, before formulating his own.

"Your power, as you put it," Muzan said, his voice firm, "What is it?"

Enmu's grin widened, "Dream Manipulation, Master. I can enter, manipulate, or control anyone's dreams however I want to. I can use it to kill from the inside, eating a person spirit first and body second. I can also put people to sleep."

Muzan wasn't necessarily impressed by this, but he wasn't disappointed either. An ordinary power, really. Nothing that could ever rival his own.

However...

Muzan's gaze flickered down to the surface of his desk. A flicker of a long lost yet not forgotten feeling bubbled deep inside of his being. A mere spark of light, really, a piece of warmth he felt from long ago, lost to the wayside by the vestiges of time.

It was something Muzan thought he would never experience again.

Dream manipulation, huh?

It might be worth a try.

Muzan looked back up to Enmu, sharpening his gaze, "Tell me, are you able to give... pleasant dreams?"

Enmu was surprised to hear this come from Muzan to say the absolute least. He took this as another opportunity to disobey orders and turn to Muzan again, this time fully and whole-heartedly. The lower moon looked right into those blood red eyes, looking for any sign of a rare flicker of humor or joking.

Muzan's gaze was serious, poised as ever.

Muzan was being for real.

Taking a pause to swallow, Enmu allowed his soft smirk to return to his gray, pale face.

"Why," the lower moon retorted, "I can, Master, yes."

Muzan eyed the lesser demon for a good second at his response.

This move was risky. It could damage his image. Yet, if he was to do this with any of his pawns, he would do it with Enmu. Enmu seemed to have no intent on harming Muzan or his image in any way; he was far too loyal for that.

Besides, if someone were to question the might of Muzan, he could just prove them wrong.

Muzan leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other and lacing his fingers together, wrapping them around his knee. His icy gaze still on Enmu, he spoke again.

"I wish to see a pleasant dream."

Muzan nearly rolled his eyes when he saw just how wide Enmu's grin had gotten and just how flushed his face got.

It was repulsive.

But, if it meant what Muzan thought it would mean...

It was worth stomaching.

After a breif moment used to compose himself, Enmu's smile faded to normal again. He pulled up the sleeves to his coat.

"I will give you a dream where you will experience the happiest days of your life over again, Master Kibutsuji," the lower moon stated, "Is this to your liking or would you prefer something else?"

"No," Muzan stated flatly, "That is fine."

Perfect, even.

Enmu smiled widely one last time, holding out his arm and pointing it at the demon lord.

"Sweet dreams, my lord." Was the last thing Muzan heard before falling into a deep, deep sleep.

"Muzan..."

Despite his blood demon art being so much weaker than his, Muzan wasn't quite ready for just how Enmu put him into a dream like that. Muzan's headache had grown ten-fold now, and he could feel that his face was scrunched.

"Muzan..."

Slowly but surely regaining his full consciousness, Muzan could first feel that he was in different clothes than what he had been wearing before. These ones were lighter, softer, and much more airy than his normal suit. Squinting open his crimson eyes, he saw that he was in what appeared to be a long, dark, flowing kimono.

The second thing Muzan could feel was that it was rather cool where he was, and that he appeared to be lying on the ground. Sifting his weight slowly, he could then feel that his head was lain upon what felt like two soft, plush pillows firmly squished together.

The third thing, however, took him a little longer to discern quite that it was. At first, he thought it was a pair of chopsticks running across his scalp over and over again. Upon, further thought, however, Muzan was further snapped back into awareness.

Those were not chopsticks.

Those were fingers.

All too familiar fingers.

"Muzan..!"

Muzan felt a stir deep down inside of him. He recognized this feeling, this touch, this warmth. It had been so, so long since he had felt like this. How long was it again? It had to be an eternity ago. An eternity wrapped within all time time in the world.

Muzan was speechless. Muzan couldn't move. Muzan was struck from deep within, and nothing in the world could ever compare to its blow.

"Muzan!"

Although the calling of the demon's lord name had been going on for some time now, he was just now able to respond.

Tilting his chin upwards towards the voice's source, Muzan nearly fell to bits right then and there. If he was someone else, he would have wept deep, earnest tears at the very sight of the being above him. For everything and nothing surrounded him as he studied the bright, radiant face above him, and nothing else seemed to exist other than that smile.

Other than her.

Her.

Oh, her, her, her.

His beloved. His sun, moon and stars. The ground beneath his feet and the air around him. His joy and love, his woes and sorrow. His fears and excitement. His warmth and his cold.

You.

You were really here.

"I was wondering if you were ever gonna wake up," you said, a faint laugh behind your voice, "You were out for so long!"

This scene was all too familiar to Muzan. He had replayed it in his head countless times, as if it were the only record left in the world.

He knew what this day was, and he knew all of your lines.

How could he ever forget?

Every moment he had ever spent with you had been a blessing.

Right now, his head was cradled in your lap, your soft, delicate fingers combing through his hair oh so gently as he had slept. It was deep into the night, and ordinarily Muzan would not be sleeping at this time. However, your touch was just so relaxing to him.

Everything about you was.

Today, you and him had spent the night wandering through the garden of your home together, chatting about anything and everything. It was only about two months into your relationship with Muzan. Muzan had first come to your home with the intention of eating everyone within the residence, but once he saw your face, watched you, saw your heart, your spirit, your you, he just couldn't.

He just...

couldn't.

You were human, yes.

But Muzan didn't care.

He was in love with you.

Muzan had yet to tell you the truth about him, however.

But that could come later.

"Muzan, are you alright?" He heard your voice echo again, snapping him out of his trance. He saw your face painted with worry, making his own features soften.

His darling angel. If only you knew just how much it pained him to see you with anything other than a smile.

Muzan reached his hand upwards, steadily maneuvering his fingers to brush your hair behind your ear and cup your warm cheek. He was shocked at how real you felt, shocked at just how similar it felt to all those years ago.

Perhaps Muzan had to give Enmu a reward.

The demon lord caressed your cheek gingerly with his cold, calloused thumb, savoring in just how warm your flesh was compared to his. For the first time in what felt like eons, Muzan felt a smile adorn his handsome features. Not one put on just to appease the humans around him, but genuine. The type of smile only you got to see.

Only you.

"I'm more than alright, my darling." He responded, his voice soft and warm, without the normal venom he gives to his subordinates. A voice reserved restrictively for you.

Finally, you let a soft grin come over your heavenly face again, making all seven of Muzan's hearts swell.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up," you said, "But it's about to be dawn soon. I don't want you to get a burn, so let's go in the house again, okay?"

Ah yes, the lie Muzan told you. He, of course, couldn't be with you in the sunlight (as much as he wanted to). So he had told you that he had a rare disorder that made him extra prone to sunburns and heatstroke.

Just something to keep you safe from the truth.

His soft smile still adorning his features, Muzan gave you a nod as he slid his head off of your lap. Since you were on your knees, you were quicker to stand than him. Brushing off your kimono quickly, you offered one of your hands to Muzan to help him stand, of which he gladly took. He had long since forgotted just how perfectly your hand fit into his, along with how radiant your kimono made you look.

Once he was back on his feet, Muzan couldn't help but to hold your arms, holding you a few feet away from him to simply admire you for a moment, his crimson eyes doing laps around your face and body.

You were perfect to him.

Every single thing about you was without flaw in his eyes. Not one curve of your body was too shallow or too wide. Not one strand of your hair was misplaced or without poise. Not one feature on your face took away from your radiant beauty. And you had not one bad bone inside of your body.

Muzan was never one to believe in angels.

However, if anyone in any part of the world were to tell him that you were one of them, straight from the heavens themselves,

He would believe them.

As soon as Muzan stepped through the door, his hand in your own, the scene before him changed in one giant, peaceful flash of white light.

Before him now was no longer the house that he had shared with you all those years ago. Now, in its place, was a beautiful, lush springtime garden, all dredged under the cover of the night. It was not devoid of light, however. There were a few lanterns afloat in the water of the stream, as well as some within the structure of the small bridge that went over top of it. Flowers adorned every nook and cranny of the space, and the occasional insect or bird would make a brief appearance.

A small slice of paradise, just for you and Muzan Kibutsuji.

Fearing that you were no longer by his side, Muzan turned his head. His fears were quickly subsided when he saw you there next to him. Your delicate hands were placed on the railing of the bridge, and your eyes were fixated on the calm water below, almost as if it were a window into the heavens above. There was a small smile plastered on your face, and the delicate lights illuminated each of your features so perfectly.

Muzan knew this night.

This was the night he told you the truth.

The truth about him, about his "condition", about where he went for days on end, about why he couldn't walk with you in the sun, about everything.

This was the one night Muzan had ever felt fear.

"Is it really true, Muzan?" You asked, your gaze still fixated on the water below, "Are you really a demon?"

Muzan felt his lips part in small surprise. Even though he had replayed this night time and time again in his mind, it felt as if this were all happening for the first time over again.

Enmu really was good at this.

Muzan wet his lips before responding, setting his gaze on your precious, beautiful face and refusing to move it, "Yes, my love. It is true. I would not lie to you about this, I..."

A pause to collect this thoughts, before he could continue, "I kept it from you to protect you, (Y/N). I did not want any harm to come to you. My darling, I... I love you. My love for you knows no bounds. You are the stars that shine at night, and you are the shining moon above. Each time I look upon you, all I can stand to think of is how deep my love for you runs. I... I need you, (Y/N). I do not wish for you to be frightened of me, my angel. I would never, not ever harm you, nor let any harm come to you."

You still weren't looking at Muzan, yet your smile had yet to falter. Muzan felt a bubble of nervousness in his gut. Although he knew your response to his words already, even thinking of this moment never failed to make his stomach churn. He hoped his words to you were enough. He doubted that he had ever said anything more truthful in his entire life.

After a long pause of silence between the two of you, you closed your eyes and widened your smile. Then, you opened your eyes again, finally turning to face your lover. You looked Muzan right in the eyes, seemingly unfazed that you were standing so dangerously close to the most powerful being alive.

You were so brave.

Your heart was so big.

Muzan felt so overwhelmed.

"Muzan," you said, your cheeks dusting a light pink.

What you said next to him, Muzan could never get out of his head, never forget. No matter how much he tried, he would never not ever forget your words in that moment.

Within that one short, simple phrase, the king of demons fell in love all over again.

"I've always known."

Another flash within his crimson eyes, and the scene had changed again. Nighttime again, of course, but this time within the confines of the bedroom you and Muzan shared. Both you and Muzan were nude, sans the blanket that covered the lower half of your forms. Muzan was on his back, one strong arm wrapped around you, the other cradling the back of his head. Your legs were intertwined with his, and your hair and hands were sprawled out on top of his lean, muscular chest.

Muzan knew this night as well.

It was his most loved night with you, but also his most dreaded.

How cruel fate was.

Stroking your back with the tips of his fingers, Muzan stared up at the ceiling above the two of you. Your body was flush against his, and as warm as ever. He wondered to himself if he was making you cold. If he was, you didn't seem to mind.

After a long period of savoring the silence between you and him, you softly snorted out a cute, soft giggle. This made Muzan angle his chin downward to look at the top of your head.

"What is it?" He questioned.

You giggled again, tilting your head up to look at him. Smiling, you turned your body to lay on top of the demon king, your breasts smushing against his own. Instinctively, Muzan laid his hands on your hips, rubbing small circles into them as he held you in place.

"I just find it funny that even though you profess to have so much stamina, you get tired after only two rounds." You explained to him, a playful mischievousness in your tone and eyes.

Muzan breathed out a smile, reaching up a clawed hand to brush your hair out of your face.

"As I recall it, you were the one complaining it was too much." He quipped back.

You snorted, "As if that ever stopped you before."

The demon let out a soft chuckle, leaning forward to give you a kiss on the forehead. Muzan couldn't remember ever laughing so genuinely before you came along. You truly were the light of his life. You filled his days with the sunlight he had long since forgotten, as well with the warmth no other demon could ever have.

He loved you.

He loved you he loved you he loved you.

And he still did.

He watched as you dropped your gaze to his chest, running your fingers along the flesh.

"Muzan..." you said, your voice more serious than before, "I've been thinking a lot lately..."

The demon king hummed, brushing more hair from your face.

"What has been on your mind, my love?" He asked.

You paused for a second before continuing on. Muzan could practically see the gears turning in your head.

"Well, I... I'm not getting any younger, you know, and I've been thinking. I... I really love you, Muzan. You're the only person I can imagine myself being with for the rest of my life. The other day, I was in town, and I saw the cutest family ever with a husband and a wife and two adorable little children, and it made me think..."

You looked up at him again, giving him a soft smile.

"What if we were to have a family of our own?"

Muzan could feel the same sense of joy, love, and pride in his chest as he did this same moment all those years ago. In this moment, he had never felt closer to you before, nor could you recall ever looking more beautiful.

He wanted nothing more than to be a family with you for the rest of eternity.

"Darling, you know what that would mean, correct?" He questioned you. He had told you long before that demons could only have offspring with other demons, for a demon baby would eat its human mother from the inside and kill her. It was gruesome, and had originally made you cringe at the thought. Muzan had thought your reaction was quite cute.

"Yes, yes, I know," you answered, "and I'd be ready for it. Even if I'm a demon, and even if I can never go out in the sun again or live normally ever again, I'd be happy knowing I got to be with you and our baby for the rest of time."

Muzan gave you a smile in return, his long, white fangs flashing in the light of the night. Leaning forward, he kissed you upon your soft, warms lips, gently pulling you closer to him.

This was one of the thousands of reasons why he loved you.

You were always so sweet, so kind and optimistic. He would admit, he did have a soft spot for you and you alone. But he didn't care. You were worth it. You were worth every single piece of money on planet earth. You were worth the sun the moon and the stars, and all the planets here and beyond. You were worth any injury, any heartache, and any trial or tribulation in the world.

The king of the demons unquestionably, unfathomably, undeniably, adored you.

Pulling gently away from the kiss, Muzan looked deep into your eyes, right past your pupils and looked right into your soul, your very being.

"I would want nothing more, my sunlight."

If Muzan could turn back the hands of time, he would have kept you here with him for the rest of everything and beyond.

For he did not know then that was the last kiss you and him would share.

Another flash, and Muzan was no longer greeted with a visage of the past. Much to his dismay, the demon was now greeted with the sight of his office, with a smiling Enmu creepily watching him from across his desk.

What a fucking freakshow.

Taking in a breath of air through his nose, Muzan sat up tall in his chair again, rubbing the bridge of his nose with this thumb and pointer finger.

You were gone again. You were again nothing up a memory, a whisper of a time from the past.

Muzan could hardly bare it.

He had felt you, held you near him.

And just as fast as you came back, you were gone again.

This was a pain almost too hard to bear.

How long was he asleep for? Muzan really didn't care how long it was.

No amount of time with you was enough.

"Did you have the pleasant dream you wished for, Master?" Enmu asked the demon king. The lesser moon was lucky Muzan was in a somewhat good mood that day.

"Yes." Muzan replied simply, closing his eyes to rub them with his thumb, "Excellent work."

Enmu's smile widened at this, his cheeks turning pink again.

"Why, thank you, Master." He responded, his excitement prevalent in his voice.

Enmu really was a special one.

After composing himself again, Muzan scooted his chair forward up to his desk, fixing his gaze back onto his work sprawled out below.

Muzan just wanted to be alone again after that. He had been alone for years now, but he wanted Enmu out of the room. Although he could have easily ordered it to be so, he again did not want to show any weakness to the lower moon.

Christ on a bike. Muzan was so fucking stubborn.

He remembered all the times you nagged him for it.

Oh, what he would give to have you nag him one last time.

After a long bout of silence, the lesser demon decided to speak up again. He turned his head over his shoulder again to Muzan, trying to sound as naieve and innocent as possible.

"Master," Enmu said, "Where is she now?"

Muzan stopped his movements and glared up at Enmu with a venomous glare. How dare he even refer to you. You were so far above him, how dare Enmu even think to invoke your name.

Though Muzan wanted to kill the other demon right on the spot, he decided against it. He still wanted to see how Enmu would do on his mission. Also, Muzan had to admit that he did feel lighter and more generous after his dream with you. And he supposed it was fair that Enmu had his questions.

Feeling nice, Muzan decided to entertain Enmu's question.

Shifting his gaze back to the papers below, Muzan replied.

"Gone." he said, "The night she asked about a family was the last night I saw her alive. The next day, a group of slayers found her and our house. They knew who she was and that she was human, but killed her anyway. All in attempt to get to me. I found her in a pool of her own blood, limp and cold. The slayers died that same night."

Enmu's smile faded at this, his face taking on a look of shock. Closing his lips into a tight line, Enmu looked away, out of a quiet unconscious respect. Everything made so much more sense to Enmu now. Why the demon king was the way he was, his hatred for slayers, his cold-hearted, murderous nature.

It all clicked into place.

"I... I am sorry for your loss, Master." He said, his voice quieter than normal, "She seemed like a lovely woman."

Muzan peered up at the back of Enmu's head. Through his thick, black lashes.

"Yes..." Muzan said.

"She truly was."

#demon slayer #kny fanfic #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba muzan #kimestsu no yaiba #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x reader #muzan kibutsuji #muzan kibutsuji x reader

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