#despite the fact that we didnt go to school together and she lived 15 miles away | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kansasjustgotgayer · 2 months ago

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I had a dream about my childhood friend last night. You ever just have a hole in your life thats a cold heavy question. Like, are we too different now to ever be that close again? Could we understand each other? Will we meet again? It’s like having a rope tied on a bollard with other end stretching too far to see. And you could pull at it and see if its taught or it if it comes back, frayed and severed.

Anyway you ever wonder where your kid friends are these days?

#i always felt so bad because we stopped seeing each other because i was realizing i was gay #and i felt like i couldnt share that #so i became closed off #and i dont know #what if she was like me? or didnt care?#what i would give to have a cup of coffee with her now #because she was the first person to choose to love me #and went out of her way to get time with me #and it feels like the first real proof that im desirable #not in any kind of romantic way #but like #as me #and yeah that was as kids but idk #if someone picked me for hundreds of weekends #that means a lot #and even so the whole time i doubted it #despite the fact that we didnt go to school together and she lived 15 miles away #somehow i thought it couldnt be true?#this is a reallly long way to say i miss her #its like #over 10 years since we’ve been friends #and yeah! it turns out you can still miss someone 10 years later

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