#and it feels like the first real proof that im desirable

[kansasjustgotgayer]

I had a dream about my childhood friend last night. You ever just have a hole in your life thats a cold heavy question. Like, are we too different now to ever be that close again? Could we understand each other? Will we meet again? It’s like having a rope tied on a bollard with other end stretching too far to see. And you could pull at it and see if its taught or it if it comes back, frayed and severed.

Anyway you ever wonder where your kid friends are these days?

[rucow]

this year i am experiencing having someone's mars (and chiron) in my 8H, and im going absolutely feral over them, like. im insane. ive lost whatever inhibitions i used to have. i am free and wild 🩷

[matheoxs]

hi how are u! i love ur posts, and i know u dont speak about the void much, but i wanted to send this to you anyways and maybe get your thoughts?

so i fully have the assumption that i get into the void every night in my 4d, and that the 3d will conform. i trust and believe in my subconscious that it will. but ever since realizing this, i've been rlly depressed about the 3d.

i have no motivation to do anything bcs i know it's all gonna change yk? like im physically doing the bare minimum now vs how i was before loa (studying, working, etc) bcs whats the point if it's going to completely change.

i don't enjoy what i used to enjoy before, it feels meaningless. i'm completely detached from my 3d now that ik it's not permanent, and i pretty much just spend my days thinking about the void and my 4d. i visualize and think about how grateful i feel that it will conform in the 3d. and when i see how messed up my 3d is slowly starting to get (yes from my own assumptions that its getting worse lol), i remind myself i just have to deal with this for a little more. just a little more and it'll all change.

i know i could just assume that everything is fine and it's not getting worse but i rlly dont feel like it bcs again, it'll all change anyways so whats the point. i know its prob not a healthy mindset but i wont be in this reality for much longer yk.

i'm just curious to know if you've ever have thoughts like this in your manifesting journey? if so, how did you deal with them? are there any words of encouragement you could give to me? i would really appreciate it. thank you so much!

Yes, of course! But first, I would love to ask you some questions.

1. Do you spend a lot of time consuming posts about the void state, even though you already know almost everything about it? What I mean is, are you on Tumblr every day, just consuming post after post? That can actually be unhealthy because your main focus will be solely on that, and it’s what you’ll keep thinking about.

Now, I’m going to be gentle with you. I understand how it feels when you affirm something, but the 3D doesn’t change no matter what. I get it —it can be exhausting.

Yes, it's okay to feel tired and sad about it. As you mentioned, it’s all going to change; it will, trust me.

I feel like you’re assuming something to be true, but then you can’t help but look at the 3D. That’s what’s happening here.

Here is what I suggest:

Are you tired of trying? Stop trying.

If you see unfavorable circumstances and feel bad, allow yourself to feel that way. Don’t push those feelings away; you’re still a human being experiencing life.

Then, when you’re ready, directly turn to your imagination and do whatever you desire.

You must realize that you have been assuming all your life. This isn’t something new take a moment to recognize that.

…

…

…

Done? Now, while you were assuming, were you looking at the 3D? Were you forcing anything? Or did you just know it was true in your imagination and keep assuming that in your mind that it pushed out?

When you expect the 3D to change, you’re already looking for proof, which indicates that you’re not fully confident in your assumption. This means you haven’t accepted it as true.

We often assume a lot of things without proof in our daily lives.

The "how" is none of your concern; it’s not your job to change the 3D.

Your job is to assume something in your imagination and keep assuming (persisting) that because that’s the truth now.

Assuming and persisting is easy; you just have to understand that when you affirm something in your imagination, it becomes real instantly.

Let me give you an explanation of how the law of assumption works, as if you were a 1-year-old.

Say you have a red shirt, but you don’t like it, so you decide to go with the yellow one. When you look in the mirror, you still see the red shirt.

What are you going to do? You’ll wait for the mirror to reflect the yellow shirt because you know you have the yellow shirt. No matter what the mirror shows, you know you’ve put on the yellow shirt, and eventually, the 3D will reflect that. Why? Because you knew you already had the yellow shirt on.

If you have the yellow shirt but you look at the mirror and it shows something different, and you let that be instead of remembering that you already put the yellow shirt on, you’d be waiting for the 3D to validate you.

And this is also what people get confused about: you can assume something in your imagination, but if you look at the 3D knowing that it will show your manifestation because you know you have it in your imagination, then yes, that’s okay. But if you’re assuming something and searching for it in the 3D, then you’re basically saying you don’t have it in the 4D

Do you understand now?

Remember, you’re not your thoughts; you’re aware of them. So make them work in your favor :)

Please also to mention take care of yourself; you’re still human

And do that while knowing it’s done in the 4D

[noyasaur]

hii!! i have a few shifting questions im a bit new lol

can you prove shifting is real? im trying to shift but i cant get over the fact that it might not be real and that im wasting my life yk?

do i have to script personalities or appearances to existing characters or will they jut be like they are in the show/game?

how can i be more motivated to shift?

sorry if this doesnt make sense! im a bit bad at english even though its my first language lol

anyways have a great day!!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

hihi anon ! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i hope you're doing well and welcome! i hope your journey is going well so far! and don't worry, your questions made perfect sense! and i also apologise for taking so long to answer your questions, i spent a lot of time trying to formulate the right answers for your questions so i hope i'm able to help 😭 and sorry for the super long answer!

anyway, let's answer your questions~

🪐 CAN YOU PROVE SHIFTING IS REAL?

honestly, this is a tricky one. i want to be very honest with you and i, in no way want to demotivate you at all! right now, the only way of 'proving' shifting (at least, to my knowledge) is through experiencing shifting ourselves, or trusting other shifter's word as proof of reality shifting. regarding scientific research and proof behind reality shifting, to my knowledge, there are no studies that directly investigate reality shifting. i also feel like reality shifting would already be incredibly difficult to prove already on top of the existence of infinite realities/potentials, thus leading to an extension of an infinite amount of different variables.

reality shifting is a very personal experience and one's journey and experience will differ from person to person. unfortunately, in the current state of our reality, reality shifting has not been scientifically proven.. yet.

reality shifting is on of those experiences where you just have to form your own beliefs on it, and trust yourself and others. i like to think of it this way. take our own consciousness for example- we are all conscious right now, correct? we all know we have consciousness. it's a known fact. however, very little is known about our own consciousness, it's origins and it's power. but we all know that we have a consciousness, and we can't prove it to anyone yet but ourselves.

people thought lucid dreaming wasn't real many years ago and now people recognise it as a legitimate practice. same with astral projection, and out of body experiences.

and i know shifting is real because i have experienced parallel reality shifts (some intentional and some unintentional) and mini-shifts myself.

however, not all hope is lost! are there studies and theories on infinite universes, parallel realities and the multiverse? yep! are there studies on consciousness, quantum mechanics and biophotons? yes! there are plenty of studies, theories, and concepts that can be linked together and used to scientifically determine how reality shifting is even possible in the first place. yes, it's one of those things that isn't believed or accepted by the general public, but it exists. we may not know exactly how and we can only theorise, but there are connections that can be made.

now, i completely understand your worries on how reality shifting might not be real. that's totally valid! especially speaking since we've been conditioned out whole lives to think otherwise. that we only have one shot at life and we have to work hard to get our desires, but know we now that's the opposite? we can live an infinite amount of lives and have an infinite amount of parallel realities? we are the creators of our own reality and we have the power to shape what we experience?

however, this is where you come in. i highly recommend that to reassure your worries, find these answers out for yourself. determine what exactly reality shifting is for you and find how it is possible, instead of worrying about what if it's not possible. i'm not a fan of overconsumption of shifting information, however i think it's good to do a deep dive on shifting every now and then to help you open your mind to question what reality shifting is and how it's possible. then, when you've formed your own beliefs on shifting, it's easier to validate your belief and trust in shifting since you've discovered yourself how it's possible and what it is to you! that way, you won't need to worry about any external shaking your beliefs or making you worry about whether shifting is real or not because YOU have personally worked out how it's possible for you.

explore and read about other people's experiences, beliefs and theories on shifting. read scientific papers on concepts relating to shifting such as The Many Worlds Theory, multiverses, and parallel realities. read about the Law of Assumption and consciousness. read shifting success stories! just anything that relates to shifting. and don't worry, at the end of this post, i'll link some helpful resources at the end that have helped me explore deeper into how reality shifting is possible!

and if you're worried about wasting your life away on reality shifting, something that could help is to normalise reality shifting. what i mean by that is see reality shifting as something that is an everyday casual thing (which it is). think of it as a hobby, and not something you don't need to be heavily obsessed over. become content with the fact that, "oh, there's this super cool thing i can do! i can shift realities, i'll try it. oh, i didn't shift, that's okay i'll try again next time. oh, i shifted? cool!"

remember that reality shifting and your desired realities all exist in the now regardless, and they aren't going anywhere. reality shifting is not something super unattainable. i understand where you're worries are coming from and they are 100% valid.

🪐 DO I HAVE TO SCRIPT CHARACTER'S PERSONALITIES OR APPEARANCES, OR WILL THEY JUST BE LIKE HOW THEY ARE IN THE GAME/SHOW?

now, you don't have to script character's entire personalities and appearances (if you don't want to!). you can, but it's also not necessary. it's entirely up to you :)

with scripting, you don't have to script everything down to the tee. you aren't specifically creating any reality out of thin air, more like visually and physically specifying your intentions of what reality you want to shift to/experience. in fact, some people don't even have scripts!

scripting essentially has no power. scripting is just a physical, visual outline of the desired reality where you intend to shift to. to sort out your thoughts and intentions. your subconscious mind already holds everything in that script and whatever else you intend to experience. your subconscious knows what you want and it'll fill in all the gaps for you, so don't stress!

there is no requirement or criteria for how much, or how little you need to script. you can script as little as you like, or as much as you like! thus, if you don't script anything about a character's personality or appearance, but you intend for them to act like how they would in their respective game/show, then they will act how you expect them to. you can even add that in your script if you want as well: "this character will have the same personality/appearance as they do in ___." it's all up to your assumptions and intentions.

however, if you feel like you want to script their appearance or personality, then go for it! do whatever makes you feel best and most comfortable.

🪐 HOW CAN I BE MORE MOTIVATED TO SHIFT?

oh gosh, there are so many different ways to help keep you motivated to shift! i'll try not to ramble :)

honestly, just thinking about the concept of reality shifting and the possibilities can be motivating enough. like how there are infinite realities and infinite possibilities? you can literally experience anything and be anyone you want to be.

you can consume any kind of content relating to your desired reality, watch videos, create pinterest boards (e.g. your outfits in your dr, dr locations, etc.), write letters to people in your desired reality, or think/make a list of things you're excited to experience in your desired reality.

or even just think about your desired reality and get yourself excited! what are you excited to experience? who are you excited to meet? what are you scared about? where do you want to visit? things like that.

however, while i am a big advocate for being able to seek motivation from yourself, it's also good to watch videos and read about other people's shifting experiences to motivate yourself! find other people who have the same/similar desired realities as you, or read shifting stories.

however, it's good to learn how to motivate yourself and not rely on other's so much for validation on shifting, it's existence and motivation. however, it doesn't hurt to consume shifting stories and tips from shifters too, just don't rely too much on it as your main source of validation/motivation.

additionally, it's completely okay to feel demotivated with shifting. it's okay to be drained. and it's also okay to take breaks when you need it. stay at your own pace and don't rush yourself into anything. you don't need to be trying to shift every single day of the year if you don't feel like it. reality shifting isn't going anywhere and your desired realities are always going to exist. so please don't stress and don't feel like you need to rush! you can always shift to your desired reality whenever you want, and however you want!

alright, i hope i answered your questions well and i hope this helped! and i apologise if i rambled a little bit, i just had so much to say (especially for the first question dhjkds).

have an amazing day and good luck on your shifting journey! you got this! ʚɞ ⁺˖

- saturn ♡

🪐 HELPFUL RESOURCES! (these are just some that have helped me!)

REALITYSHIFTING101 - i found this user through amino and their posts have been so, so informative in the in-depth science behind reality shifting and how it's possible. honestly one of the only shifters i've seen who's done such an in-depth analysis on reality shifting and the objective science behind it.

blog: https://realityshifting.medium.com/ amino: https://aminoapps.com/c/desired/page/user/realityshifting101/5w64_MWUYf81pj0qoYwJY00P5JdG5ZxmQHY ULTIMATE RESOURCE: Total Shifting Science (amino): https://aminoapps.com/c/desired/page/blog/ultimate-resource-total-shifting-science/xLkq_62t2u6DWEXn3x55w5rgL5z5vZkKmm

LOVE - an amino user who's been shifting for quite some time and visited many different realities. provided some very interesting information and perspectives on the reality shifting, the multiverse, other realities, and some interesting terminology and concepts.

amino profile: https://aminoapps.com/c/desired/page/user/nill-l/vPMG_2qu2f6eoEGbvBBwwP7kK2Y1qepw32sX

OTHER RESOURCES - here is are some other uncategorised links of good shifting resources!

reddit post (shifting + other shifting related resources): https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/comments/ow7n7y/recommended_reliable_resources/ yennieshifts shifting carrd: https://yennieshifts.carrd.co/https://yennieshifts.carrd.co/

[01mishchelle]

What I’ve learned so far about ‘manifesting’

i find it extremely idiotic how people believe that they have to do this and that to get their desire. believe me, i used to be like that too. 2-3 years ago i joined a shifting community and let me tell ya, everyone overcomplicated the basics. thats when i gave up and left.

a few weeks ago when i was in a negative, heartbroken state and was begging to have my sp back, a manifestation video came up from this user called hyler. i followed her instructions and even sammy ingram’s.

that’s also where i discovered neville goddard for the first time.

i found it quite odd that we had to do affirm all the time, and thats what i did. i still felt weird, unaccomplished. i did get results, the negatives and the positives. i kept on holding on those results as a proof my sp loved me. but deep inside i knew what i was doing was completely wrong. if they tell you to live in the end, why would i affirm 24/7 to have that desire?

+also adding this, i’ve heard about the void state everywhere in pinterest and here and let me tell ya, after the experiences i’ve had in the shifting community, i stayed the (language) fuck away from that. yes sorry for the people who do the void state, yes cool if you do it if it works for you but for me i just hate doing methods.

it didnt make sense for me. i decided to listen to myself and found out more about neville goddard and edward art.

these two gentlemen made me open my eyes for the first time. this is what ive been missing. ive missed the whole point, everyone missed the whole point.

please study edward art’s works and his i am meditation.

anyways, the whole point is that you literally don’t have to lift a finger to have that desire you want. i’ve made some notes for myself when reading edward art:

“If you lived in a world where all things are possible, and you could create anything you want, would you choose to create a situation and then worry about it? No you would not. You only do because you are identifying yourself with your Outer-man! When I start to feel afraid, or worry, or feel pressure that causes me anxiety, I realize that I AM the INNER MAN CREATING that in the WORLD OF IMAGINATION.”

“I want you to stop worrying about HOW or WHEN it is going to happen and instead FEEL secure KNOWING this 3D world reflects what your INNER SELF HAS AND IS WITHIN.”

“In order to actually lose yourself in the imaginal act, one must accept it is real and let go entirely of the outer-world.”

“One must suspend rational thinking, and just accept it is real. They will free themselves that way in their mind.”

“You cannot be afraid anymore to feel and imagine what you want.”

“When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that desire is fulfilled.”

everything is all YOU. everything comes from YOU. YOU are the reason why things are like this. there’s legit no Universe telling you what you have to do. there isn’t anyone you have to follow to have what you want. no. that isn’t the point. the point is that you have been following yourself. everything has been you all along.

so basically about having that desire in imagination….. i know that you don’t have it physically in 3D but that does not matter. the thing you desire is the FEELING. please you must be very (excuse for my language) fucking stupid if you want it in the 3D.

imagine you already have your sp in the 3D, youve done the hard work and he’s/she’s yours now. great. you don’t feel anything, do you?

why do you want to be with your sp? ask yourself that.

im probably thinking that you want to be loved, yes?

bingo, that is the exact thing you desire. YOU desire to be loved. and guess what?

you are already loved. you legit don’t have to do anything to be loved. you are already loved. and i know, how tf am i loved when i’m single?

get that ‘single’ off your vocabulary. what’s important here that the 3D does not define you. put it inside your head. repeat that. remind yourself that.

the 3D is a reflection of your 4D. the 3D wouldn’t exist if the 4D never existed. the 3D lives off of the 4D (your imagination basically)

see? don’t tire yourself out by worrying about the 3D that you cannot change. it’s all in place, you cannot change it. the only way you can change it is by changing yourself.

no i do not want you to change your sp’s behaviour (remember eiypo) i want you to change your behaviour.

how?

well, how would you act and feel if you’re dating your sp?

would you still be worrying about the 3p? would you keep on checking his status if he’s online? would you be wondering if he loves you? would you be questioning on why he hasn’t came back?

all of that is useless! you’re basically still embodying as someone who’s desiring their sp. that is not what you want.

it is easy. you wouldn’t do all of those things. you already embody as someone who is in a happy relationship with your sp. you already know that you are loved. you never have to worry about them. you never feel stressed at all. you’re happy.

that is what’s important. you don’t have to be in the same state all the time btw, if you get reminded or get extremely anxious; just STOP FOR A SECOND.

don’t start affirming or start visualizing. don’t ask yourself if you’re doing it right. what is the point????? of asking that??????

instead, all you have to do is ‘know’ you already have them. leave it be. don’t meddle with it. trust that it has already happened. spoiler: it did ;)

don’t even think about the 3D, the 3D instantly changed because you changed. there is no such thing about waiting for the 3D to conform. there is no such thing about the 3D being your slave and has to obey you (let me tell ya i was confused when i saw those affirmations) the 3D and the 4D go by hand in hand. that’s the thing here.

so yeah.

i’ve read edward art’s works (plus other ppl) like few days ago so this is all the things i’ve learned. just in few days, how crazy is that lmao.

anyways, i hope you learned something from here, i also learned some new stuff while writing this.

bye 🫡

[xx-slug-xx]

//tw- mild nsfw, and lgbtq+ discourse

People who say that asexual isn’t an umbrella term make me mad tbh

For context, I’m asexual, specifically aegosexual. For me, I use this term because I do experience sexual attraction. However, I have a sort of detachment of self from these feelings. Most of my attraction stems from fantasy. I like the idea of sexual intimacy, and I am aroused by it. However, when I am in a situation where I am “intercoursing”, I either get bored, I generally don’t like it, or I cry. Sex isn’t really a fun thing for me either way, and I don’t enjoy it. I only enjoy the idea of sexual intimacy through fantasy. I often don’t even imagine myself in these fantasies, I project myself onto other fictional characters or I create a self insert of some kind (maybe because I’m a system but idk lol) Regardless, I experience sexual attraction somewhat, but only with fantasy.

Point being, asexual is an umbrella term, and I don’t like people trying to tell me that my experience and feelings towards sexual attraction isn’t real or valid. Im living proof that it’s an umbrella term. Plus, there’s other people out there who fit inside this term who all share different experiences with their attraction or lack there of. Not all asexuals are sex repulsed, while some are. Some asexual people enjoy the feeling of sex while others do not. We’re all different and we all have our own experiences that have led us to use the asexual label. It’s so stupid that people think that asexual must mean that all asexual people lack any kind of feeling or desire towards sex. “Lack of attraction” can be expressed in different levels and in different ways. It doesn’t mean that all asexual people feel repulsed and/or absolutely no attraction. “Lacking” doesn’t mean “none”.

If a building is lacking windows, it could mean that it has absolutly no window, or it could mean that there are simply to few windows. Where is the building lacking window? Maybe the building lacks windows on the second floor, but not the first. Maybe there’s only windows on one side, but not the others. Now apply that to asexual people.

[brains-n-guts]

Hazbin Hotel villain Rant n random bullshit!!!

So as many of you suspect for season 2 of Hazbin Hotel (HH) that the Vees or mainly Vox is going to be the main villain in this season, it js makes sense for them to be the villain they’re literally planning something

They’re mad devious fr fr but I’m not talking abt them or season 2 Im talking about after that, Idk how many seasons Vizzipop’s planning to make but at the end of the series the main villain is Going to be Alastor.

Ik how many of ya’ll absolutely adore Al, but you have to agree that he would be the perfect villain for the finale.

Let me explain why. Alastor clearly has alternate motives than Charlie, which was clearly stated in the pilot episode and in the first season, he doesn’t believe in the idea of redemption he’s only there bc it’s “entertaining”, and this really got me thinking if that’s really the real reason he’s there, I mean he’s literally in hell there’s gotta be entertaining stuff there. Maybe this goes deeper than we think, what if he plans on using the hotel for something other than Charlie’s redemption idea. I mean Alastor is a powerful demon, a deal maker of sorts

Him making the deal with Charlie:

But what if he’s using the hotel for own personal gain?

I feel like that would make more sense

Example of why:

It’s clear that Alastor isn’t that powerful as he makes out, there’s someone or something else more powerful then our beloved radio demon that owns his soul; he doesn’t like anyone brings up, we could see this with Husker’s and Alastor’s little ‘chat’. but maybe this mystery person is why he left for 7 years trying to escape the bars he’s trapped behind.

Proof:

He’s clearly plotting something, I think maybe revenge, getting his freedom that he desires but I’m still confused about something

Could this mean about the his deal? And I’m not talking about the deals he made with other people, and the souls he owns I’m talking about his personal deal he sold his soul, and Ik I said this before but could this line “the constraints of my deal surely have a back door” mean that’s he’s desperate, trying to fine his way out of his personal hell in hell?

———————————————————————-

But hey, that just a theory. A FILM THEORY!

I hope this makes sense sorry if it doesn’t especially the last part, this originally was going to be a rant about the Vees and their contribute to the next season with being the main villains & shit. Anyway feel free to share your ideas and thoughts abt this

Sorry if I repeated stuff!!!

[unreversedumbrella]

season 3 was a true loss for gay teru. i'm not really talking about shipping. (what is canon doesn't really matter for what people ship) its the fact that teru is implicitly gay in the manga, and very on the nose about it, but not in the anime. there are little moments, toned down versions of what we see in the manga. breadcrumbs compared to the original. but i don't want breadcrumbs. i want the whole bread.

i want this:

note: teru "shines" when talking with mob (from an omake and his shopping trip), something usually reserved to mob talking about tsubomi, but i have to reread the manga and confirm that.

so lets see why the manga works but the anime doesn't. i want to touch two scenes for now. again, i need to reread the manga

lets start with this gem of a line:

i made a post complaining about this, but people misunderstood my point at the time. its not about the words its about the face (although i think handsome makes more sense, the original means both cool looking and handsome). its about the overly serious gaze. an explanation i like is that, in the manga, teru is caugh by surprise (you can see him nervously thinking about what to say) which leads him to lose his composure.

this is the first and only time teru comments on mobs physical appearance, only to say he's handsome in a overly serious and nervous way. its far from the stereotypical getting all flustered reaction, but its still very obvious that teru doesn't really feel confident enough to share these feelings

you could say that anime teru has been waiting for this moment. he saw an opportunity and took it. but it takes off a bit of the impact, doesn't it?

once again bones changing teru's expressions. my personal interpretation is that teru is saying this both to mob, and himself. my idea is that he doesn't want mob to go out with tsubomi, but at the same time he doesn't want to get in the way. the latter feeling is probably aided by the idea that mob is perfect, an unachievable goal.

after his idea of mob gets less god like, this feeling disappears, which leads to my favourite:

this right here? THIS?? this is THE proof that teru is in love with mob. and its so on the nose im amazed studio bones had the guts to not show it.

this is really simple, so let start. while tome, mob and ritsu talk about tsubomi, their speak bubbles overlap a panel of a distressed teru. which obviously connects their conversation with teru's annoyance. its obvious the idea of mob dating tsubomi annoys him because he also has a desire, even if unconcious (but lets be real) to be with mob

AND THE ANIME GETS RID OF EVERYTHING. by showing teru after the conversation is over, they separate these ideas. if there was anything to separate that is! because they also got rid of teru's pained look! giving this more of a "someone just enjoying his tea" vibe. it was such a simple scene and they managed to ruin it

and people talking about the loud obnoxious slurp! i hear you. i get you!

but i can't do this!! this is breadcrumbs! i don't wanna do mental gymnastics to see him as "suffering inside" when its so obvious in the manga that he is suffering OUTSIDE (also mostly because this goes with the "you need a terumob bias to see this as terumob" idea i was going for in the beginning)

in conclusion

[actualbird]

Hello! Idk if you’ve done this already but personally, what’s your ranking on your fave Luke cards based on the side story of these cards or something else? Kinda curious to see what our resident Luke enthusiast thinks hehe

ohhh, i havent actually!! and thank u so much for this ask cuz YESS, I DO HAVE A RANKING FOR THISSSS :DDD so let's get down to business

my personal top 5 favorite luke cards (with rambling rationale ofc, by this point it's a standard in my posts kjbfajsfkf)

wc: 1.6k

before i start, i'd like to note that this list is only taking into consideration cards that are available on the global server as of april 28, 2022 buuuuut already including Secrets of the Tomb event that only releases tomorrow cuz kjbkHBH IVE ALREADY SEEN LUKE’S CARD STORY THERE AND IT’S GOT A PLACE ON THIS LIST CUZ I RLLY LOVE IT!! this list also only ranks cards with stories because thats what im basing my rank on, so that disqualifies all the SR cards that are only audio messages and the MR card as well

with that outta the way, let's go from 5th most fave one by one to my most favorite of all cards thus far!!

-

5th place: SSR Alluring Gaze

this was among the first luke cards i ever watched and i was reeling from the sheer angst in luke's personal story 1 and 2. please, i said to this card. please be a lighthearted yet entertaining chaser for my angst drowned heart.

"you are safe now, my child," said SSR Alluring Gaze.

"thank you for my life," i replied

cuz this card is one of the VERY FEW LUKE STORY CARDS that does not have an HINT of sadness or angst. NOT A DROP!!! no sudden pain episode, no vague reference to "im dying soon and i hate myself for that", NADA!! im not saying that i dont like angst (if that was true, i'd have made a terrible choice having luke as my fave JHVSDFHKV) or that angst makes for a bad story. i Love Angst and it deffo can used for great storytelling.

but this card manages without it in a really fun and charming and eeEEeEEeee-butterflies-in-my-heart kind of way.

later on, i'd come to realize that my biggest criticism for some luke cards is that theres a tendency for the story to rely solely on the gut punch angst or to be oversaturated in it to the point it's hard to really enjoy what's actually going on. while the emotional ouchies are inevitable and also key to many of luke's stories, it's a disservice to him as a character to only ever be pursuing his narrative through the lens of pain. he is more than that and his stories can benefit from little less leaning on angst for emotional impact.

this card is 5th place because i think it's proof that his stories can shine real great even without any angst at all

-

4th place: SSR Shape Of You

if the last card made it onto this list because it was a lighthearted delight, this card is on the list because it was the first luke card to make me CRY REAL TEARS. FUCK THIS GAME. FUCK THIS CARD. FUCK MY LIIIIIFFEEEE----//sounds of my voice getting softer and softer until i calm down

anyway, this card hurt me personally. but it wasnt oversaturated in angst; it's a very lovely balance of shenanigans, mounting tension, and heartfelt emotion. overall, it's a hopeful card actually. but it hurt me because it was among my first (and most long lasting) peek into the core of who i see luke to be. particularly, one of his key desires and the flaw that comes with it:

hes someone so devoted to doing good for his loved ones and simultaneously so scared of hurting them that he places himself at a lower value because thats how he thinks he can be a benefit to their lives

like, ok, i amend my first sentence in this card. it's not on this list cuz it made me cry. it's on this list cuz that crying was due to me getting a deeper understanding of how luke thinks, feels, and acts.

if i had to recommend one card to somebody who knows nothing about tot or luke pearce, itd be this one. its story is a blend of the good in him and the not-so-good in him and paints a really clear picture of who luke is.

-

3rd place: SSR Overflowing Thoughts

hey, SSR Overflowing Thoughts, see how im hyping you up the night before u actually r gonna be available? do u see how much i love you? ur gonna repay me by coming home without causing me much pain, right? RIGHT???? //brbs to calm self once more

ANYHOO, this card. is Good. it's really frigging good. i will be scant with the plot details so people dont get spoiled, but i will tell you that this card's story is an AU completely different from the actual stories of both luke and mc.

and when i say different, i REALLY MEAN IT. luke and mc's dynamics in this card are frigging lightyears away from what we're used to and this is not to the story's detriment, it's to the story's extreme absolute strength.

basically, this story does what a great AU is best at: showing us how different circumstances, lives, and choices can magnify and emphasize the core traits of the characters that will stay present in who they are no matter what universe they're in.

luke's core is devotion. mc's core is hope. this card does a fantastic job at hammering those things home effectively in a really frigging great story.

pls come home, SSR Overflowing Thoughts. PLEASE.....

-

2nd place: SR Star in the Palm

let's give it up for the only SR card on this list, Star in the Palm!!! //CROWD CHEERS (i am the crowd)

THIS WAS AN UNEXPECTED FAVE. i got the card in december thru the xmas partyland boardgame like everyone else but then my brain went offline for a while and i only watched it in like, january i think. why did i wait. it's so good. IT'S MY 2ND MOST FAVE CARD STORY!!!

and it's my 2nd fave because the story is a wonderful blend of funtimes and feels, both those things working together to, again, paint a really lovely picture of who luke is.

this card in particular touches upon his fear of returning to mc's life. when i say this next bit, i say it with love: luke was a goddamn coward for a bit. he was in stellis way before he had first told mc he was, he had stalled on reuniting with her, he ran away from her. and he was scared of her knowing that, so he deflects and changes the subject and then

heres why this is 2nd place: mc is Not Fucking Having It. mc shoves chocolate into his lying liar mouth to get him to shut up. this card shows how luke is scared, yes, but it also shows how mc puts her foot down lovingly and makes it known that she'd like clearer answers. she wont force him, but thats what she wants.

and luke gives. both the answers and himself as a more honest person making more honest promises about how he'll act in the future.

it's the card that makes me rediscover (as if i ever forget, kJBSKJBDKF) why i love luke/mc so much: their relationship is ultimately about accepting fears and flaws and then---however imperfect the attempts may be---trying to be better moving forward

-

and now for my top fave //drumrollllllllll

//announcer voice: the card that did not come home after 74 fucking rolls and by then i had used up all my s-chips so i gave up and just forced my friends to watch this card with me via discord grp call

1st place: SSR Peaceful Place

why didnt you come home. WHY. WHY MUST U FORSAKE ME, LUKE PEARCE??????

this card is my top 1 fave for almost all the reasons ive mentioned before:

we've got well balanced story. like bruh, we get the cuteness of luke and mc ADOPTING A KID (that just so happens to be an elephant). we get 2 npc side characters, the Paige twins, who know luke from the NSB days and theyre the funniest faceless npcs ive ever seen in a card ever. we get the trope of oH NO, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED! and then luke subsequently fuckin nerfs himself and doesnt take the oppurtunity (valid, respect women, but PLEASE DUDE, COME ON!!). we get the most heartwrenching scene on the planet when luke and mc have to say goodbye to their ELEPHANT SON. and then we fuckin get an action movie shoot out??? complete with the angst consequences?? WE GET MC KABEDON-ING LUKE!!!!!!

//wheezing. everything in this fucking card is my favorite part of this fucking card. theres fluff, theres comedy, theres excitement, theres sadness, theres a happy ending.

this card also is a great card that shows off a lovely picture of character, but here, it's not luke. like dont get me wrong, hes fantastic in this card. but everything we learn about luke here is stuff we know already. this card is good at showing off mc.

and it does this really well. it highlights what shes scared of, what she wants, and what she holds dear to her heart.

like, idk, now im going more on vibes here than anything that can be surmised from the story directly, but this card rlly feels...holistic. heres a full story jam packed with everything i love, filled to the brim with genuine character moments for luke and mc, and just such a lovely picture of their relationship:

filled with idyllic moments and dark uncertainties but at the end of the day, theyre both making their best effort to ensure each other's happiness, as their own happiness is entwined with the joy of the other.

-

aaaaand thats a wrap! this got very long kBKJSBKFJ i have a lot of feelings about luke 24/7....

[yeoreos]

avid || jjk (m)

pairing: demon!jungkook x human!reader

genre: 18+, smut

summary: jungkook finds you at a bar and sets you as his night's target

warnings: oh lord smut. lots and lots of smut.

wc: 4k

note: i was kind of lazy to finish it, but hey, its 4k of foreplay; nothing beats that! (also sorry for not posting in a while i was busy with beginning of year exams *cries*)

jungkook first noticed you in a bar. on weekends, it was transformed into a seedy nightclub. he liked to go there while he was looking for something to eat; something to conquer for the night. he discovered a plethora of attractive females and, each with broken hearts and hungry gazes - all yearning for a nighttime lover.

he never believed his eyes when they landed on you. the state you were in was pitiful. he guessed that you had just broken up with this boyfriend of yours, hence the mascara and ruined makeup on your face. or perhaps it was a platonic breakup. despite your state, his mahogany orbs never left your figure. what a cute thing you were.

a pretty face that was exactly his type, the perfect curves of your tits, hips, and ass has his knees weak. if you were to ask, he would give.

of course, his initial plan had been thrown out the window the instant he saw you. you leaned against the bar, accepting an order, with a grin on your lips. It sparked something in him, all the confidence (whether it be from the alcohol in your veins or not, it didn't matter to him) and allure.

he knew your name. how could he miss the way your own name rolled off of your tongue so easily? how could he miss the way your lips formed a smirk after seeing jungkook? how could he miss your scent when you pulled him in to kiss you?

this was jungkook's specialty, depravity. wherever he went, he brought a tale of wickedness and depravity with him, the quality hooking onto him like a magnet.

he was a fallen angel, to be sure. a demon, a fallen angel. to be more specific, an incubus. he fed off of sex and vice, appetites and irrational cravings. he drank often in front of ladies like you, at bars or in beds, whose gazes wracked over him, and he fed off of human energy.

over time, after a handful of centuries, he had gotten bored of playing the same old games in bed. jungkook knew what he wanted, however, he was never able to satisfy that itch in the back of his throat, yearning for something to quench his sinful thirst.

he was tired, watching from atop the hill nearby, where he watched the sun rest for the night. just like you had. the darkness of the night overtook the city of seoul and jungkook knew it was his hour to strike; to feed his thirst.

so, the demon went after you, hovering over your small figure over the pathetic excuse of a bed. the soft rising and falling of your chest and the soft snores that escaped from your mouth once in a while, was all the proof jungkook needed that you were fast asleep.

jungkook extended his hand towards you, brushing his knuckles on your cheek, a tremor coursing through his body as a result of the contact. the energy you were emitting caused every molecule in his body to twitch in response. captivating.

oh how badly he wanted a taste.

when you stirred a little, a small groan leaving your lips, jungkook stilled. had you woken up? however, it was just a small movement you were causing in your sleep which allowed you to further curl up against the pillow.

he grinned.

it was time.

"let's go in that dream of yours, shall we?"

-

when he opened his eyes again, jungkook didn't expect himself to be in the same bar, be in the same exact position as before. however, this time, you were looking directly at him with your hungry eyes, mimicking his.

ever since heaven had decided to clip his wings, jungkook gave up on the little purity he had left, letting himself follow his heart.

so that's why he felt no shame in eyeing your figure up and down multiple times.

it wasn't necessarily anything that stood out about you, but it was just the aura you were giving off, that sweet feminine scent that lingered near the air around you, that small curve of your lips. but it might have mostly been the way you called for him, despite not knowing his name.

"hello, handsome."

jungkook didn't really have a preference when coming to his targets. he didn't prefer virgins; he always thought that they were inexperienced and didn't know how to give a good head. he didn't prefer the experienced either; he always thought that they knew too much and made the sex too sloppy. it was somewhere in between. and by the looks of it, you seemed like the perfect target. it had his insides churning, a long yearning for a good fuck. he thought he was going crazy.

throughout his centuries of living, he saw empires and clans of royalty fall and rebuild itself, being reborn. he didn't go out of his way to feel good, but he took whatever the universe offered to him. in this case, it was you.

when the surroundings suddenly changed to a much quieter one, where no one was bumping into each other, jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. it did not, however, take him long to notice that you were in the premises of your bedroom, the small plants on your windowsill being a huge clue.

“who are you?” you inquired, your voice scarcely audible. smirking, the man took a step forward. in contrast to his sparkling eyes, the moonlight from the window follows his body flawlessly, giving him a blue tone on his skin. you became aware of his exposed skin due to his lack of clothing. as you took in his powerful body, a flicker of longing tingled between your legs.

the man stayed deafeningly silent. instead, the man crept onto the bed, trailed by what appeared to be a shadow. you kept a tight eye on his every move because you couldn't move. you felt yourself spreading your legs wide as he crept over top of you. you had a tremendous want to feel him and be completely consumed by him.

despite being a demon, a sex demon (literally), jungkook still understood the morals of consent, making sure it was his top priority. after all, he wouldn't want it if he was in your position.

"are you okay with what's going to happen?" his words were like a captivating chime in your ears, quickly relaxing you and making you desire more. you found yourself placing our hands on his shoulders in order to feel his silky skin. how was it possible for a man to be both burning hot and icy cold at the same time? the dampness between your legs was unbearable, and you were drawn to him with all your might. your nipples perked beneath your shirt as you didn’t wear a bra to bed, you remembered. this made sense. something you remembered vividly. just a shirt and panties was all you wore to bed. clearly you must be dreaming, so you may as well indulge without regret.

"y-yes." you dropped your hands to grasp your shirt and pull it over your head to display your nakedness while looking into the man's eyes. with a hunger for your every move, he kept an eye on you. as he glanced over you, his throat vibrated with a palpable growl. you noticed he was completely hard as your gaze slid down your body with his. in a humble tone, you inquire, "is this real? this isn't a dream, is it?"

the man's grin makes your entire body twitch. you feel him quickly remove your underpants and fling it somewhere off the bed. you become acutely aware of the excitement between your legs as well as the heat emanating from his body. he lowers himself still more until he's right up against your door.

“would you prefer to be dreaming... or would you prefer to be here with me?” the man inquires, his tone innocent but with a sinister undertone.

when you reached for your thighs to give yourself some relief, there was nothing there. as your eyes scanned your surroundings, all you could feel was the chill of your own flesh. red. your vision was completely red. it was almost as if someone had brought in a red mood lamp and shone it throughout the room. it was entirely painted in a bright crimson color. your epidermis. the walls on all four directions. it was all red.

everything seemed hazy and perplexing, and you wondered where you were. you were in a new environment. some may even argue it was a living hell.

you sat up and wrapped yourself in the nearest blanket you could locate before standing up. warm wooden floorboards greeted your bare feet. “what?” kneeling down, you firmly pressed your hand on the wood once again to be sure you weren't hallucinating, but then again, what's to say you weren't hallucinating the whole thing?

'im not a lunatic... you thought to yourself as the warm sensation of the wood stretched across your palm. you straightened up and looked about your flat, trying to figure out what you could do about the red. you stood up straight and began to look around your apartment to see if there was anything you could do about the red. nibbling on your lower lip gently, you stood up straight and began to look around your apartment to see if there was anything you could do about the red.

the door to your bedroom squeaks open just as you were ready to turn on the light switch. the sound reverberated throughout the room with such eerie intensity that you were nearly persuaded your tv had turned back on and was showing yet another horror movie. then something happened. from your room, a man who could only be described as the devil strolled in as if he owned the place. you would be fascinated by this man's beauty if he hadn't just walked in like that. a scar runs from the left side of his jaw all the way down to his neck, giving him a strong jawline. his delicate yet sharp-looking features are caressed by soft wild hair, and his adorable small head is adorned with two pointy horns. it was the eyes, though, that drew your attention.

not the fact that he emerged from your room shirtless. nor the fact that he had claws and a commanding tail swishing back and forth. no, it was those soulless black eyes that were piercing right through you. your very being. you were in some type of trans as the mystery man - no, not man - thanks to those black coals. devil. That sounded more like it.

you couldn't take your gaze away, but as your feet shuffled you further away from this entity, they did all the thinking for you. it only appeared to encourage the beast to keep going before you pressed up against him and the wall. as you summoned the strength to speak up, your grip on the blanket trembled a little. “wh-what are you looking for?” your voice faded away quietly.

the devil had smirked at your frailty and little dread before running a clawed hand through your unkempt hair “i'm starving, my love.” before leaning in and drinking in your aroma, it spoke in the lowest, almost infantile voice. “won't you feed me nice and well, love? after all, you did want this to be real, right?” you weren't sure if it was the tone of his voice or the proximity, but you nodded in accord.

he grabbed your neck and ran his tongue across his lips before taking you into a harsh but passionate kiss. soft cherry red lips ravished your lips in a ravenous embrace while his hands roamed across your body, grasping and groping everything it could find.

a deep moan emerged from both of you as you felt the tightness of his jeans against your leg, causing a burning feeling. the burning of want burned through your skin everywhere he touched, everywhere he invaded with his mouth, hands, and body. it was almost a nasty, twisted euphoria that made your cunt clench around nothing in eagerness.

as the unnamed monster looked you up and down, an almost animalistic growl exited his throat as he took a deep inhale, you gasped for air. “love, you smell so fucking amazing for me.” he spoke in hushed tones through little pockets of air. “you're so delicious that i could devour you whole.”

the very thought of doing so appeared to amuse him, as he let out a brief but malicious laugh before narrowing his focus to the blanket still clinging to you.

with a scowl on his face, he clasped his larger hand around the one holding the blanket in place before yanking at it, only to have you keep it in place. the devil, with his head cocked to the side, gazed at you, perplexed, as if he didn't understand what you were doing.

“it's just that,” you murmured, tightening your jaw at the gaze those empty eyes gave you like a chill up your spine, "i feel comfortable like this...” you muttered the last bit, swallowing any spit you had.

but there was no justification or apology for him, so he raised his claw into the air and cut the blanket, ripping it open wide.

fear, as well as the lust racing through your veins, were clouding your judgment once more. the notion that his claws were so near to slicing you terrified you and turned you on like nothing you'd ever experienced. it gave a sense of how perilous it was to be so near to this creature, which was part of what made it so thrilling.

"baby, nothing is safe when i'm around."

those words, on the other hand, did it for you. you reached out to him as soon as you dropped the tattered blanket on the floor, exposing yourself to him. you drew him back into another intense kiss by wrapping your arms around him and springing up to wrap your legs around his waist. as he grasped your thighs to keep you in place, he was caught completely off guard by your sudden bravery.

each passing breath spent on one another battling for control, hips sliding up against each other as your damp panties rubbed up against his encaged dick, which was most definitely pressing painfully against the denim trousers he was wearing, made the kiss more hungry and animal-like. the cool contact of skin moving up against your back and down your underwear made you whimper.

despite his animalistic state, you always thought he was beautiful, a rare creature. "you're beautiful," you murmured, oblivious to the fact that you were saying it aloud. he laughed with his head tilted back. his neck was big and thick, but it was the raised markings that went all the way around it that caught your eye; they were woven together like chains, as if he had been choked with scorching metal.

the demon kissed you long and hard, barely pausing to breathe. His tongue was lengthy and had a split down the center. it was a novel experience that was strangely addictive. you became engrossed in the way it encircled your own. with his fangs, the monster simply paused to tug on your lower lip. as his hand moved down to your thigh, you let out a faint little groan.

he sang, “such a good girl,” as he drew you up into his arms. Jungkook snatched you up like feather. as you placed your legs around his tiny waist, his arms bulged. before he entered your room, he gave you a lengthy, scorching kiss. you had your arms around his neck, sliding your fingers through his hair and scraping against the base of one of his horns as an experiment.

the devil looked down at you as you lay on your bed, his crimson eyes flashing in the dim light. only those eyes and the white-tipped base of his horns could be seen with the moon blearily seeping through your blinds. it felt as though the monster beneath your bed had arrived to devour you. slowly, he moved his hand up the wall, flicking on the light and bathing you both in a golden glow.

you eventually let your gaze drift away from his, focusing on his toned chest, tight waist, and muscular thighs. when you noticed the bulge yearning to be freed from his pants, you licked your lips. he finally went closer, his lips brushing against yours as he crept between your legs. his hands crept up to the band of your shorts, the heat of his palm scorching and heavy on your bare thighs.

he yanked your shorts down your hips and flung them behind him as he kissed you. he tore through your shirt even quicker, softly cursing as he saw your naked breasts. you yanked on his shirt, trying to get a better look at him and to touch every scrap of exposed flesh you could discover. he sat back and yanked his shirt off, displaying golden skin stained with crimson ink and muscular abs that rippled with each breath. you were so focused on his appearance that you almost missed the expression in his eye as he glanced down at you.

“fuck, you look like an angel,” he said, reaching down to rip your panties apart, only to shred them. your moist lips were exposed by the chilly air as you gasped. at the sight, he bit his lower lip and groaned. “very gentle and plaint." slowly, he ran his hands down your body, starting at the rib cage and working their way down to your thighs.

his fingers became hotter and hotter along the way, till they were on the verge of burning. until he came to your knees and quickly shoved your legs apart and up, crimson streaks remained on your skin. smirking at your hiss of pain, his palms pushed your thigh back till they touched your chest. “so ready to be used,” he states.

"please do."

“well, angel, since you asked so nicely,” he leaned very close to your cunt and licked a lengthy strip. his forked tongue slithered inside your slit, relishing in the lengthy groan that came out of your mouth. he swirled above the opening for a minute, then slipped just the tip of it inside when you finally relaxed against him.

jungkook gradually started penetrating your pussy with his tongue. the warm, slithery appendage that slithers in and out of you with increasing ease, flicking at your g-spot and making you whine in delight. you exhaled with relief when he licked up to your clit, only to scream when he clamped his mouth over the delicate nub and sucked hard enough for you to see stars.

moans and groans emitted from your lips and the demon could have sworn he had never heard anything prettier. his mouth salivates against your lips, only causing him to dip down near your entrance and trail his tongue back to your little nub. oh how sweet you were.

"my angel's already close to cumming?" there was no denying that. he had already noticed you were quickly approaching your high by the way you tugged on his locks and the way your moans became higher in pitch.

the demon took two of his long fingers and slipped them into your pussy, a squelching noise emitting from the action. you tugged so hard on your lips that it was plump and swollen, the irony blood almost spilling from them. he quickly started pumping his fingers and curling it, sending you seeing stars. he wanted you to get ready for the real deal (aka his cock).

"god, please fuck me, please please i'm so close to cumming but i wanna cum on your cock, please," if it weren't for you sounding so pretty and desperate for him, the demon would have prolonged the foreplay.

“there is no ‘god' here,” he hissed, sliding two fingers inside your pussy and sucking hard on your clit as you almost shouted in delight. his fingers curled within you quickly, drawing you closer to the brink. your fingers ran aimlessly through his hair, yanking it back to keep him near. you scratched on one of his horns with your nails.

it wasn't until another orgasm crashed upon you that the demon stopped.

you were spent; messy hair, hazy eyes, drool dripping down your chin and onto your neck and some parts of your chest.

as sly as a fox, you felt jungkook pressing his heavy length on your clit, the warmth and hardness of it evident in the way it pressed up against the little nub. jungkook evilly rutted against the bundle, sending sharp pleasures erupting from the mere action.

you thought he would stop at a few thrusts, however, jungkook had other plans in mind. those being seeing you completely helpless underneath him (not like you weren't before).

with one more came a push, your insides clenching and squeezing the head of his cock like a vice. jungkook stills above you; only the tip in and you're already this tight? he allows a shaky breath to reveal itself from his throat, the sound coming out a little more strangled and choked that he intended it to be.

you took him inch by glorious inch. the two of you reveled in the pleasure, drinking off of each other's moans and heat.

the rest of the night was spent in each other's arms. it wasn't romantic, but it sure as hell was full of pleasure.

[nakedbibi333]

hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want. I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist

Hi! Okay, so since this is a very long post, I will try to answer each of your questions/concerns in the order you mention them.

So about persisting, I can understand how it seems a bit complicated. You persist when, after a certain period of time, you still don't see movement of your desires manifesting OR if you see the OPPOSITE of your desires manifest. Oftentimes, when you finally open up your mind to the idea that your mind creates your reality, then some past doubts and fears can manifest as well. Your mind will often try to manifest opposite things in order to make you feel like you are doing something wrong, which is why so many loa teachers say to persist. It can be very difficult for people to persist, which is why so many people feel like they can't manifest, or that manifestation isn't real, because their 3D reality has too much weight in their lives, so they take it as truth and end up giving up on their desires manifesting. It's important to begin to believe that your 3D reality is extremely malleable and is only a reflection of your inner reality. You need to take the power away from the 3D and give it to yourself and your ability to create exactly what you want.

Then you ask about proof of manifestation. It is very true and understandable that other people's success stories are not enough for many people because you want to be able to trust the information that you are going to be getting into. Personally, before getting into manifestation, I already had my fair share of unexplainable success stories in my life, so it just seemed like an answer to the questions I've had all my life. Even with these success stories and experiences, when I first got into manifestation, I still would doubt myself by wondering if it was simply a coincidence these things happened, or worse, that I was becoming delusional. I want to tell you that every single person who is now into manifestation has gone through this feeling. We all worry that we are just doing "wishful thinking" and being delusional because the world we have grown up in has always been so practical. It's not easy to believe in something that seems so impossible without any previous personal experience. So, the only advice I can give you for this is to try to manifest extremely small things to build your faith over time, such as seeing a yellow butterfly, getting your favorite food, or seeing some sort of sign, so that you would know that what we are talking about is actually the truth. Also, there are so many documents that go more in-depth on how our minds create our reality, including CIA documents and books about the science of manifestation, such as books by Joe Dispenza, and books about the subconscious mind, such as books by Joseph Murphy, and many many more. Since the only way, you will really believe in manifestation is by having your own experiences, then manifesting small easy things is probably the best route.

Then, you mention how you're worried about "someone manifesting failure into your reality." My view on this is that you are the only person who can affect your life and nothing can happen to you that you don't specifically manifest into your reality (whether it be consciously or unconsciously). Everyone can manifest, yes. Everyone has control over their reality. You can even manifest people acting in certain ways towards you. But that's in your experience specifically. If we are talking about quantum physics, time is not linear, technically all possibilities of all time, ever, exists right now. We also shift through different realities at every moment depending on our mindset, beliefs, and decisions. So, if someone manifests something in their life that would affect "you" but does not align with your thoughts and beliefs, then it won't show up in your reality. You have control over your own reality, nothing comes into your life without you allowing it, so that's a very empowering thought, in my opinion. I really suggest that you affirm this so that you don't have to worry about others manifesting negativity over your life because you would never personally decide to manifest it into your own life.

I also want to talk about how you worry about affirming wrong or simply manifesting wrong. It's Important to note that these beliefs can also negatively affect your manifestation because that is not you truly living in the end. If you were living in the end, you would know that simply deciding that you want this to happen, means that it will happen and that it has to happen. You never need to doubt your manifesting process because your subconscious mind is so powerful and it is so easy to make it do things for you! Just like what @divineangelbee says, you can COMMAND your subconscious mind and it will listen and give you exactly what you want. You don't have to visualize or affirm or do anything. Simply tell your subconscious exactly what you want it to do and trust that it listens! I really think that the reason that you have not been having too much success is because of this, that you are constantly doubting your methods which keeps you from truly living in the end.

Then, about limiting beliefs. It can be beneficial to people to be aware of their limiting beliefs. However, there has been such an intense focus on limiting beliefs in the loa community (mostly on youtube) that I see so much. Coaches keep you focused on the problem of limiting beliefs so much that they don't actually help you move on from them. Personally, I found that whenever I focused on my limiting beliefs, it was like living in the old story. (if you don't get this reference, I seriously suggest you read or listen to Neville Goddard's lectures in which he talks about the law of assumption. They are life-changing). Focusing on limiting beliefs keeps you stuck in that story you are telling yourself about your life. It keeps you from overcoming them and becoming limitless. It helps me to affirm that my limiting beliefs no longer have the power to hold me back. I don't have any more limiting beliefs because I manifested not having them anymore. Manifestation works in many different ways, and a lot of people don't realize that you can simply manifest your desired mindset as well. I suggest trying this!

So, to make this as clear as possible, I will tell you how I personally manifest (disclaimer: people manifest differently, many different things work for different people, I am not saying this is the only or best way to manifest, but this is just what works for me).

First, I get my idea of what I want to manifest. Usually, I want to manifest multiple things at a time, there really is no limit.

Then, I will decide what will help me "feel it real" and "live in the end." This can include techniques, but I don't use techniques every time. I don't like to visualize because I am personally a maladaptive daydreamer, so visualizing makes me feel like I am daydreaming, which keeps me from really feeling like it's really happening. (But, if it works for you, by all means, go for it) I may print out a picture if it's a physical item in order to trick my brain into having something physical that represents this or adding it to a Pinterest vision board (I am a very visual person, so it always works for me). I also like to make a list of what I want just to keep it in a place that I can go back to and mark off in the future, telling my brain that this is a goal I need to achieve (I find that my brain loves to check things off of my goals, it makes my subconscious mind already start working towards the goal). But most of the work goes into my mindset. I don't affirm a lot because I feel like it becomes a chore if I have to recite affirmations all day every day. I may put up affirmations on my chalkboard or put them on my computer, but I don't make it a habit to really say them at specific times, etc. I really focus on making myself feel deserving of getting my manifestation and I also live in the end. Living in the end is where you feel confident that your desire is already yours. If it helps, which it does for me, I like to believe that I have it already in the "quantum field," or the 5D, or however you believe in it. It is not about being delusional and pretending like you have it, no, it's about feeling trusting in your own power to make this happen for you and it will come, no matter what.

After that, I "drop it." I don't forget about it or stop desiring it, that's not what letting go means. It means that I know that I don't need to do anything or force anything to happen because my subconscious, or the universe, will bring this to me and I don't need to worry about anything related to my desire. I also self-regulate my emotions by meditating, focusing on the things that make me happy, and reminding myself of how powerful and capable I am.

Then, eventually, it manifests. Or, if it doesn't come in the timeframe I wanted it to, or if something that would oppose my desire pops up, I focus on my own self-concept, making sure I genuinely feel deserving of and that I can get what I want, and I persist in that feeling that my desire is still mine. No matter if I got rejected, no matter if they told me I couldn't get the job, no matter if it looks like it won't happen. I still persist. and then it comes.

Finally, I want to mention that I am only here to give advice and I can't make anything physically happen for you. To see actual movement in your reality, you need to be willing to go through failures in order to find out what works for you. I have had manifestations fail, I have had MANY manifestations fail. It's not always a perfect process. I don't charge money, my identity is not on this page, I am not here to be a famous coach or to act like I know any better than anyone else. I am just trying to help you guys reach the point that you deserve to get to in your life. But I can only do so much. I really hope this helps.

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring��way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[chokingonpaper]

Ohla Bola, how are you today? I come bearing a request; ej, with a "kidnapped" s/o, but they went willingly, because they are a monster lover, and who would pass up the opportunity to be with that hunk of a demon 🥵 (I know I wouldnt). So the gist of it is, they are compliant, they know exactly what is going on, manipulation wise, dont care because they are finally being loved (emotional distant parents maybe?) And fully reciprocate the affections and obsessions that ej has for them. (Maybe they see it as the only way they will ever find true love?)

If this is possible? Many thanks adieu

Im doing good, and of course! Again, I might make a part two :D This ended up kind of being the prologue for how this would go in the future ig- If I make a part two it’ll be more about the kidnapping and stuff like that

Also happy 100 posts!

//

𝐍𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝐄�� 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

//

1,390 words

//

You had always been a lonely person. Often times people avoided you, and the people that decided to stick around always seemed to fade away sooner or later.

You lived at the edge of your neighborhood with most of your house concealed by large, dark trees. The community was always planning things and arranging little parties, but you never went. It wasn’t entirely other people’s fault that you were alone, you just weren’t that interested in other people. Though a part of you yearned for a friend, someone that understood you and wouldn’t leave at only a moments notice. But that person hadn’t arrived yet, and you had given up hope that they ever would.

Life was dull, and every morning you woke up you wondered if anything would ever change. Every day was the same. Wake up, go to work, get home, and sleep. Then it’d repeat over, and over, and over again. Every time you came home you found your house empty, and you were once again reminded of how alone you were.

But then one day you felt the strange feeling of eyes on your back. Not having very many friends, you often spent your time observing rather than socializing. You knew this feeling very well, and you knew that you were being watched. Yet along with this unnerving feeling, you felt a rush you’d never experienced before. You weren’t alone, and for whatever reason you were okay with that.

Whenever you walked through the kitchen, you felt eyes trailing you from your windows. You didn’t know who the person was or why they were watching you. You hadn’t even managed to catch a glimpse of them yet.

Whenever you got ready for work and headed out the door, you felt the same thing. Even when you were at work, you swore you could still feel their presence. A part of you wondered if you had just made this person up, just to make you feel less alone. By the other part of you wondered if you were in danger. If this was real, you had a stalker on your hands, and you had no idea who it could be.

It could be a coworker, an old employer, or even just a passing customer. Their identity was completely unknown, and you spent hours pondering who they could possibly be and what they looked like. But they were good at hiding themselves, and you hadn’t even seen a shadow.

Weeks passed and you began to tell yourself that it was all in your head, but then knocking came. It was almost like it was to reassure you that they were there, that they hadn’t left, and that they were anything but imaginary.

The first time it happened you nearly jumped out of your chair, but as time passed and the little knocks and taps continued, they became almost comforting. You weren’t supposed to feel at peace when you had a stalker, but it’d been so long and they hadn’t hurt you yet, so who’s to say they ever would? They might just be an observer, like you.

But soon enough just observing wasn’t good enough for them. It had been over a month, and now Jack wanted a little more than just standing to the side and watching your life as if it were a movie. He wanted to be around you, to hold you, to be the one to take you away from your loneliness. He knew how little you went out besides when you had to work, and he knew how much you wanted someone to talk to and spend time with. He’d seen you watch groups of friends with envy, wondering what it was like to be so close to someone. He’d seen you lie on your back staring up at the ceiling, feeling so empty that you couldn’t even cry. Jack had seen you stare out the window where he stood only a moment ago with eyes full of desperation, silently begging him to reveal himself.

He knew you, and he wanted to take you away from everything you disliked about the world.

So the next time you looked out the window with a sad sigh, he decided to try something he’d never even thought to do before. Jack slowly stepped out of the shadows and in front of your window, finally allowing you to see the dark figure who had been watching you nearly every hour of every day.

Your eyes widened in pure shock and you froze, just studying the man who had presented himself to you.

He was tall, several inches above six feet. His physique was impressive, with broad shoulders and muscular arms. Though he was at a distance, you could tell how much he towered over you. He stood still, holding eye contact with you and staring you down with an intense gaze. Anyone could see that this man wasn’t someone to be messed with, and it was already clear to you that you weren’t getting out of this one.

But even if you could, would you want to?

Then suddenly he was no longer still, and his noticeably large hands reached for the window. The window was locked, but you guessed he already knew this. This was was a stranger who had been stalking you for a little over a month. You had never seen him before, and you knew damn well that if he got into your home he could overpower you with ease. Yet as your heart beat faster, pounding loudly in your chest, you hesitantly stepped towards the window.

A small sliding lock was the only thing keeping the man out, though you could guess he had other ways of getting in if he needed to. After all, the windows weren’t bullet-proof.

You gulped down a lump of nervousness and placed your shaking hand over the lock. The man, Jack, watched with interest as you slowly unlocked it, giving him access to your home, and to you.

Why were you doing this? Why were you letting him in? You were unlike any human he’d ever encountered before, and that only made his desire to keep you for himself grow.

Not doing anything more than unlocking it, you backed away from the window as the man pushed it open and climbed inside. Once he stood at his full height you looked up at him in awe. Covering his face was a navy blue mask that dripped black from the eyes. It sent a chill down your spine and froze you in place. Now that he was closer it was only more obvious just how strong he was. He was so much taller than you and obviously very strong. He was the definition of intimidating, and if you weren’t frozen in place you would have crumbled to the ground.

The two of you stared at each other in silence for what felt like hours, but then he took a step forward and your eyes widened.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” His voice came out less comforting than you would have liked. It was deep and incredibly raspy, as if he hadn’t spoken in weeks.

You nodded slowly, his words not really making you feel any safer. “W-Who are you?” You asked in a tone only a bit above a whisper. It was clear that you were afraid, yet you made no attempt to leave.

“I’m Jack.” He answered simply, not offering any more information that could help you understand what exactly was going on. You had just let your stalker into your home, and now you were having a semi-calm conversation with him.

Jack soon took another step towards you, and now only about a foot was between you.

“I’m going to take you with me. Either cooperate, or I’ll knock you out. Understand?” He stated lowly, staring down at you with complete seriousness. You were about to be kidnapped, but instead of fear you felt almost… relieved. Someone wanted you. Someone wanted you so badly that they were going to simply take you. It sounded so wrong, so terrifying, yet all you could think about was how you would no longer be alone.

And so you nodded, letting him silently lead you out of your house and into the tree line from which you would never emerge from again.

[evilvarric666-archive]

its crazy how we can get so many diff things from the same story like thats real proof of how multifaceted multilayered and cunty this story is.. like. im walking while i write this and not checking it twice so it might end up making no fucking cents but. ive always seen dao as a game about (among other things) rebirth and its one of the main reasons why im still so in love with it.. like the best origins ACTUALLY start with a baptism of blood for the wardens.. brosca is born and recognized as an actual person in the surface but that could only happen after their baptism of blood (the proving in a minor way, but mainly the murder of behrat by their own hands, them emerging from the surface coated not only in remnants of the blood of the warrior and noble caste from the proving but mainly bathed in behrats blood, the remains of the dwarf that was a living reminder of how, in the eyes of orzammar, they would never be considered a person, only property, only a tool). through their blood, though his death, rebirth. like the fact tht they get their autonomy, their agency, the thing that literally separates a person from a possession AFTER the death of behrat and their ascension to the surface. them carving themselves a path out with THEIR OWN HANDS, THE LATENT BELIEF THAT LIFE HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE, AND THEIR DESIRE TO LIVE AND BE RECOGNIZED, EVEN IF THEY HAD TO FORCE PEOPLE TO RECOGNIZE THEM AS A PERSON, but ultimately getting to leave their old inhuman existence behind through the help of others(1/?)

(2/?)brosca only getting collectively recognized as a person after going to the surface, the place where not only do they get to see real light and breathe fresh air, and actually FEEL unabashedly for the first time in their entire life, but also where they get to feel how its like to be treated like a regular individual. the first place where they are treated kindly and decently. brosca having to face the reality of their own latent mortality firsthand during the very same night of the day they arrive at ostagar. and them getting to experience the fullness and complexity of life and emotion, and the power that lies in them, only during the first blight, a time that is supposed to be the most hopeless and horrifying of times, but that is instead experienced by them as the year where they discovered not only themselves as a person through love, kindness and companionship, but also others. like dragon age origins is literally Life: the speedrun for some of the characters and the player. some of these mfs never got to live or be people before the events of dao. morrigan, zevran and brosca are reborn through other people's love and active recognition of their humanity. alistair only had a real sense of identity for the first time when duncan chose him and took him away and that stayed with him as an act of love. wynne was reborn when she fused with faith and she describes this new state of existence as "constantly feeling loved". oghren got another chance at life in the surface, and was reborn as a "hero" and later on, as a grey warden. sten "dies" when he loses his sword, becomes someone different and goes back home a changed man, despite looking the same. shale is murdered and put through literal hell by having her body turned into a literal tool, her identity and sense of personhood lost in the transformation and through others treatment of her as a tool. she spends years living as an object before being born again during the fifth blight, the first time ever she is allowed agency, gets her memories of her old life, is treated, loved, and recognized as a person, and chooses her own path for the first time ever.

(3/3)leliana dying after her torture and actually being reborn as a person due to the love that she found in the chantry. and the truth that rebirth, personhood, identity and humanity are not ever truly reached through violence.. always through courage, love and acceptance. i said v little abt zev and morrigan but like. morrigan's example being quite literally breaking free of her old life as her mother's tool, learning how to be a person, her own person, and being recognized and loved as one and not seen as something wicked and inhuman for the first time, and having the symbol of her humanity, identity and personhood returned to her (the mirror), just to end her story by her loving someone so much that she sacrifices her new life just to allow them to continue living. zev's rebirth as a person kinda mirrors morrigans, but it always drives me crazy how its like. recognized by the narrative as him actually choosing his identity as the black shadow after the fifth blight. like actual rebirth through love happens there, this actually being validated by taliesins line of "does zevran need to live?". the jarring difference between brosca and leske during their return to orzammar and the fact that zev mustve felt the same when he encountered taliesin again. the fact that both taliesin and leske are both the doubles and mirror/inverted images of zev and brosca, and that looking at them must've felt like looking at their won corpse. anyways something something humanity is only reached through love something something phoenix rises from the ashes etc. like the way that dao is both a story of rebirth and a love story because those two things are one and the same due to the deeply transformative nature of love, real love... this game fucks severely it sucks so fucking bad that dai was pure ass. umm anyways i forgot where i was going with this & its prolly unintelligible but umm. im a huge fan of your da posts especially the unhinged ones <3

[yesimwriting]

Anastasia (prologue)

A/n ive been talking about my Anastasia x SOC story for awhile and im finally ready to post the prequel,, ive also been working on some requests and thinking about my next multi-part fic (ive made some posts about it lol)

things to know before reading: i tend to like to make up my own countries when writing these type of politically/plot driven fics that revolve around a royal family bc i think it makes it not only easier to write but less confusing bc it takes out the issue of potentially conflicting with canon, so i made up the country ‘Anastasia’ is from,, this also follows the musical Anastasia a little more bc i feel like that version of the story is more mature and easier to write for SOC (the only difference is that not everyone is happy that Anastasia is alive and someone tries to kill her bc they hate the royal family)

Series Summary: y/n makes an unconventional deal with Kaz to save the life of her best friend. No one’s ever made a deal with the infamous Dirtyhands that resulted in them shedding the title of orphan from a revolution-torn country that can’t remember her life before the orphanage and taking on the title of Princess Anastasia. As time progresses, things are made more complicated as y/n has to deal with royals, revolutionaries, a grisha general who has a lot to gain from an alliance with a princess that doesn’t know what she’s doing, and potential feelings for a conflicted Kaz Brekker that has more to do with Anastasia’s disappearance than he’s ever admitted. 

--

The world seems to be made up impossible things. Each day, people defy odds, strangers fall in love, the universe expands, and the Saints watch it all. I am not the kind of person to sneer at a miracle, to try to explain it away instead of acknowledging it for what it is. 

But what this stranger is proposing is laughable. 

I lean more into the chair, doing all I can to get away from the desk that he sits at. A nervous kind of giggle threatens to escape me, a laugh at the expense of the foolishness of the situation. If his demeanor was any less brooding, I would have already laughed at the irony. Kaz Brekker, the Dirtyhands, creating a ploy so colored by the fairytale notions of dreamers.

The longer I go without reacting, the worse this situation becomes. I haven’t seen Verne since Brekker and his people separated us. I can see the world of torment my eldest friend must be experiencing at this very moment while I sit at this desk. 

“Me?” I’m the most ridiculous part of his plan. He said the only reason me and my partner are still alive is because I fit the general description of the kind of person he needs, and if I’m blackmailed into it he won’t need to waste kruge paying me. “A princess?” 

He blinks, as uninterested and stoic as he’s been since he first ordered me into his office. “A pretend one,” his correction feels like a slight, “a surrogate one.” 

My eyebrows furrow together. “But what--I know the odds of the real Anastasia coming back are beyond slim, but if we’re caught in a lie the Dowager Duchess of Avila will have all of us killed. She may be in Ravka now, and her title nothing more than decorative due to the revolution, but she still has people loyal to her.” 

“Anastasia can’t come back.” The graveness of his voice is so certain a part of me has to wonder if he could have anything to do with her death. I dismiss the thought almost immediately, I don’t know his exact age, but he doesn’t look much older than me. He couldn’t have been more than two or three years older than Anastasia when she died, and she was a child at the time. “No one remains missing that long unless they’re dead.” 

I awkwardly scratch the back of my wrist, “You’re the expert here.” No--I did not just say that out loud. “Sorry--I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Not that thinking it makes it any better, but at least then you wouldn’t know and I’d seem like less of an idiot and I wouldn’t be talking about it right now, and just rambling at a really inconvenient time for me to just...” I cringe slightly, opting to stare at his desk instead of meeting his judgmental gaze. “Sorry, again. Normally Verne is here, and he just kicks me in the shin or something to shut me up.” 

“If you’d like to see what apparently is your only source of impulse control alive and in decent enough condition to kick anything ever again, you’ll agree to what I’m proposing.” 

I straighten my posture slightly, nerves and guilt twisting in my stomach. “I’m going to be as transparent as physically possible.” The warning is for both of us, the urge to hide all my weaknesses bubbling in my chest. “Mr. Brekker.” That’s awkward--what am I supposed to call him? “I’m a university student that’s only in Ketterdam because of an academic scholarship. I’m from somewhere average--I’m not from a place nice enough to give me the manners I’d need to pass as a girl who spent her fundamental years growing up in luxury and I’m not from a place grimy enough to make me a quick enough liar to make up for what I don’t know.” I inhale slowly, ignoring the sting of the flaws I laid out for a cruel stranger. “I’m not particularly graceful or sly or talented in any field that someone like you would value. The closest thing I have to talent involves things that can be tracked on paper. I wasn’t even supposed to be here tonight, I was just doing a friend a favor.” 

“You claim that you’re not a decent liar or a thief and yet your closest friend is one who believed himself talented enough to challenge me?” 

I resist the urge to shrink back into my seat. “This is Ketterdam, you try finding someone that doesn’t dabble in crime and ambition.” He does’t reply to my retort, which I think means I won. “Cards on the table, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to save Verne, but you don’t want me for something like this.” 

He pauses, jaw locked and eyes too stony for me to interpret. “Every flaw you just pointed out, every reason you think makes you unfit for this job, is exactly the reason I’m offering you this.” I keep a thousand questions to myself as I wait for him to continue. “Those used to lying lack the warmth that will be needed to sell this. The Dowager Duchess is a grandmother first when it comes to Anastasia, that’s why she’s offering so much gold. She, and the rest of the royals that desire to know what happened to Anastasia, want to believe the story I’m telling. If you present yourself as someone real and warm and you understand table manners enough to not disturb the serene picture they want, they’ll squint at ugly details until they disappear.” 

Wow. I know that he’s intelligent, but what he’s constructing is so much more bullet proof than I thought it’d be. “I’ll admit you’ve constructed an airtight narrative.” 

I know my approval means nothing to him, but it’s the most agreeable I’m willing to be. “A narrative the background you told me of fits perfectly.” I shouldn’t have answered all those questions he asked me earlier so honestly. “A child born in Avila who was sent to a Kerch orphanage due to a war-relief effort during the revolution. A faceless orphan who was found during the height of the revolution with no memory of anything before the morning she woke up in a hospital cot.” 

I say nothing. My skin burns in protest of someone knowing so much about me. He must take my silence as a sign of me teetering the line away from what he wants, because he then says, “your friend is fortunate, if things aligned a little less perfectly he’d be dead already.” 

Dead already. The words elate my heart in a way that pinches. He’s still alive. Verne is alive. “If I agree, you let me see him and then you let him go.” 

“If you need a contract to believe me, I can have that arranged.” The words have an almost mocking edge. I guess it’d be a little ridiculous to get an official contract drawn up for something so small. “If you at any point change your mind, I’ll do the same.” 

The threat is clear. I back out and Verne pays for it in blood. Verne’s safety is once again in my hand. This situation is much more precarious than Kaz Brekker wants it to seem. “You need me to do something that will literally last the rest of my life. Tiaras aren’t something you can slip in and out of.” 

“Yes, I’m forcing you to give up a life in the slums for a palace for your friend’s life. This must be a difficult choice for you.” 

I look down to avoid rolling my eyes. “It’s still permanent, and it’s large because at any point I could reveal the truth and take you down with me.” 

“Remember who you speak to.” His voice has turned to pure darkness. 

Don’t wince. Don’t wince. Don’t wince. “All I’m saying is that you’ve offered Verne’s life to buy my cooperation, but you have yet to mention the cost of my silence.”

His expression is sharp enough to draw blood. “The Dowager Duchess is old and sick, wait at most two years and you’ll have more gold than you could ever spend. The revolution took that family’s power, not the wealth the Duchess took with her to Ravka the night of the massacre.” 

I shift awkwardly. “I’m not trying to get kruge from you for me.” I fold my hands neatly on my lap to avoid fidgeting. “Verne--he’s beyond desperate for kruge, that’s why he risked angering you.” The urge to shy away threatens to break my resolve. I think of all the times Verne has saved me. “Let him keep what he tried to take.” The request is awkward from my lips. I’m asking for more when I should should be grateful any type of mercy came from him. Any type of offer. “Half. Let him keep half.” 

He’s silent for a long moment, weighing the implications of loss. “You’re already entitled enough to pass for royalty.” I don’t let myself shrink. “Deal, but not because you threatened me--try that again and you’ll find yourself wishing you had never left the orphanage you came from.” The relief is practically crushing. Verne is going to be okay. He’s going to live and my resistance earned him enough kruge to have a week or two without worry as he plans what he’ll do in my absence. “You better be as good a study as you made yourself seem to be.” 

I don’t understand the second threat. “Studying?” 

“You didn’t think you could wander into the Dowager Duchess’s home, use the excuse of amnesia to explain why you don’t even know your own mother’s name, and expect them to think you more than an Avilan orphan with a desire for wealth.” 

“I actually don’t know my own mother’s name because of amnesia.” 

He’s in no mood to be contradicted, glowering sharply, “not anymore, anything that doesn’t fit the narrative I’m constructing is no longer true.” He straightens slightly as he begins to pace away from me. “You’ll have five minutes with your friend and then we’ll see where your table manners are at. I know someone who knows enough to correct you.” 

I try to picture where someone like him would meet someone that knows about etiquette. My mind provides nothing useful, but it doesn’t matter--I’ve agreed. It can’t be undone, not without having the blood of my dearest friend on my hands. 

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Enchanté ep 10

I've been slow to write this final post...mainly because I was busy last week (I mean, I worked 12 days in a row) but also because I was mildly disappointed with the visual elements of the ep. I felt like they didn't really satisfactorily follow the patterns which seemed to have been set up and used throughout the series. I thought they were utilised well in ep 9 but in ep 10 it all felt a bit disjointed, uncoordinated, and haphazard 🤷🏽‍♀️ (and maybe 'proof' that I was just reading into something that didn't actually exist in the first place).

Anyway...it seems that I still have lots to say because I managed to pull out ten screenshots to talk about...so here goes...

I don't feel like I have much to say about the colours in this first one...only that maybe the dark shades and the lack of any of the seemingly featured colours of the series might strengthen the sense of distance Akk and Theo have at the beginning. Theo wants a great love like his parents, he's blinded by the fantasy of a perfect family, and thinks he can make them get back together (showing how immature he is in his romanticism)...whereas Akk's view is that Theo's parents have made a decision and that Theo should respect it and live with the reality of it - this makes me think of that shot in ep 9 in the library with Theo standing in the Fiction and Akk in the Non-Fiction sections.

Once again, Theo's dad dishes out the harsh reality - “Not all couples in real life end up happily like in the novels, son” - and I wonder if this is what breaks Theo’s spirit and why he chooses to go back to France, effectively leaving Akk...Theo loses faith in the Great Love™...

Now a wee break from Theo and Akk to talk about Im...it was interesting that Im wore one of the few instances of red this ep. I couldn’t figure out why at first (apart from maybe it was simply another red-white-and-blue combination with the wall behind) but then it immediately cut to the shot of the plane pen...

...which is of the same colours. I don’t know, maybe I’m sh*ttalking here, but maybe it’s poignant that she’s wearing the plane’s colours since she’s a large influence on Akk letting go of Theo and not stopping him getting on the actual plane to go back to France...🤷🏽‍♀️

And my MVP! Egg! Gosh I just love her and her energy. She did not get enough screen time 😂 And in contrast to Im, Egg actually bolsters Akk and encourages him to go and see Theo. I wish I could make a cool interpretation about her pink...but this was a little out of left field for me. I would have loved for her to be in blue, for example - which I have been thinking of as Theo’s colour - or even purple...but oh well. Apart from the dark green of his earlier shirt, Akk only wears shades of brown this ep - maybe as a reflection of his desire to be Theo’s Enchante (the connection being that the book is a tan brown colour)...

I was very happy to see the return of the blue and orange combination on Im though - this felt like it was following a pattern set up earlier 👏🏼

I was also so happy with the bedroom scene - with Akk taking care of Theo - with the red behind Theo and the blue of Akk’s shorts (a repeat of the colours they had in ep 9) - it gave me a false sense of security that they were okay and everything was going well. Theo even said his faith in love returned because of Akk... But then Theo said that because of that he felt like he made the right decision...which was to go back to France and leave Akk behind...? Aaaaaand this was where I couldn’t follow Theo’s reasoning.

I'm mad at Theo now. Akk deserves better.

In their conversation, Im repeats Akk's words back to him - Theo has made a choice and if Akk loves Theo then he has to accept it. And this is why Akk doesn't stop Theo or ask him not to go - he says it himself, he would be a hypocrite if he didn't do the same as he told Theo regarding his parents. And whist it all seemed frustrating, that Theo looked like he wanted Akk to stop him, it seems that Theo had to go (pressure from his mum maybe?) and was scared to tell Akk how much he loved him and would miss him. Theo wanted to let Akk go rather than be tied to a long distance relationship, in love but unable to be with the other person. So it’s a sacrifice... but he still didn't give Akk the choice about it. I’m not sure I totally understand the motivations but I can sort of buy this I guess. I honestly think the writers wanted to shoehorn Theo’s character into the Little Prince too much - to have him return to France like the Prince leaves the fox and returns to his home planet. But I don’t think it really worked. I would have preferred if Theo had chosen to stay with Akk, as a show of his returned faith and trust in love which Akk had given him...but who am I?

Anyway, again in this scene, I wasn’t enamoured by the choice in clothes/colours...but I did like the red-white-and-blue (I’m ignoring the yellow) of the painting in the background. I also thought it was interesting that although Theo wore dark blue and white stripes, the clothes at the top of his suitcase were shades of red and brown - maybe showing where his heart really lay (i.e. with Akk in Thailand not alone in France). Also, if the front suitcase in the background had been blue, we would have had another wonderful red-white-and-blue detail - a missed opportunity if you ask me.

And so for the end. I did like Akk’s t-shirt and Theo’s addition of the accent (I felt called out because I don’t always add it 😂) and again I wasn’t impressed by the shades of brown - I would have loved for them to be in their rich red and blue again...but Akk’s darker brown could be like the library shelves...and Theo’s lighter brown could either be representational of the book (Theo resides in Akk’s heart) or of the russet fox 🤷🏽‍♀️

As you can probably tell (because I haven’t mentioned them until now) I don’t care much for the other ambassadors...but at least we got a clear reason why Tan seemed to always be in the background of a lot of the scenes - for Natee to realise Tan was always there for him and therefore missed him when he wasn’t. Boooo...

Anyway, lastly, I adored the Baker Boys crossover! I squealed when I saw the Sweet Day café! 

And of course I adored Jimmy...and now I canNOT wait for Vice Versa. JIMMY!! 👏🏼