#despite still being a complete fucking loser nerd in real life

[fuckyeah-bears]

nah there is a team. it's made up of me, myself, and i

someone asked me if i need a new bearotonin admin. honey you're cute but this is a one man show

[merakiui]

JADE MUSHROOM DILDOS????? THE SENTIENT DOLL PROMPT?? WOULD SOME MORE DETAILS! WHENEVER I TRY TO RUN, THE TWEELS ENSNARE MY ATTENTION AND HEART BY WRAPPING THEIR LONG AND SLIMY TAILS AROUND IT <333

(Fem darling)

Although they're nerds... Maidenless, pathetic (absolutely adorable) I still adore the trope of suave and sleek on the outside, handsome and reliable (yet dubious) Jade, wild and free Floyd who wants to get freaky.. They're what the freshmen of NRC aspire to be. Charismatic and enigmatic.

Yet when behind closed doors, both of them are absolute loser virgins. Nerds who haven't lost their first kiss. Nerds that simply can't admit to liking the prefect~ They're always bullying darling cause it's "fun".

It's not like they could ever harbour feelings for a lil shrimpie! That's ridiculous! Their sex doll? Pfft! Doesn't resemble that shrimpie at all! (This reminds me a little bit of that onna hole series but the difference being that, darling doesn't feel it.)

They're just in complete denial aren't they? They both hide the sexdoll they have, Floyd doesn't know that Jade has one that's nearly the same, Jade doesn't either. Despite them having their own respective ones, their interpretation of darling is totally different! The dolls aren't literally alive, but when they're shoving their cocks, darling's moaning along with them.

When they're in a horny daze, the doll comes to life. (Like in Tatami Galaxy if you happen to know! Difficult to explain but I hope this made sense anyways (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦���) )

Floyd interprets darling as completely inexperienced, and really docile and responsive. Whimpers a lot and has this shimmery look in her eyes. (Another example of sex dolls in this instance would be Interspecies reviewer, it's an ecchi anime but I needed inspo ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)

"N-no Floyd don't lick me there! Hyaaah! No! Floyd! Floyd-senpai! Nghh!" The pseudo darling whimpers and moans even if his performance is utterly sloppy! A darling that can unravel faster than him (who cums prematurely, wayyy too quickly! Too quick for an athlete!)

"Senpai's too big! You can't!" The cliché subby H-manga character that's catered to loser incels like him. Babbling way too quickly. (Realistically, it takes wayyyy more work to dumbify a person, a quick cummer would never get a real lady to reach that point of babbling in five minutes. Better luck next time, virgin eel!)

Jade interprets darling as someone that's bratty and just as passive aggressive as him. Darling usually wouldn't bother in engaging with Floyd since it doesn't change what Floyd's going to feel about doing his chores. Floyd is just such an unreckoned force, darling always does his bidding to shut his whining. Jade on the other hand is occasionally negotiable.

When the prefect is doing part time in the lounge, Jade's always attempting to break that patient exterior of hers just for his own amusement. (Cuz this loser does not know how to flirt.) Unlike the other staff who immediately lose their tempers and quit within the end of their contract, the prefect always smiles back at him. Giving Jade backhanded compliments, retorts that aren't explicitly rude. The prefect is resilient after all, she successfully negotiated with that stubborn tako for a fat check at every end of the month. This slimy eel can't just push her down so easily!

Darling will never back down, this check has given her and Grim more than just stale bread and leftovers for meals! Jade is sleek and cunning, but Prefect is not an idiot! Jade has met his match for backhanded comments and sly forms of insulting. Saccharine "service" smiles, never a frown on darling.

Jade wants to break that resilience. Something he can't have in reality.. A bratty darling that's easy to manipulate. A bratty darling who messes up her responses. He wants the prefect to feel shame. He wants her to fall for his figurative traps. He wants to utterly humiliate her just like how he did to all the employees that were subject to his bullying.

"Fuck you Jade! Fuuugh!" Insults just turn into moans as he erratically fucks his 'darling', it's not the prefect! It just coincidentally looks like her! The real prefect would never utter a single cuss, she has an image to uphold, but this doll right here? So utterly lewd! So bratty and potty mouthed. So vulgar! What a harlot! A horny harlot that's starved of cock! Jade's cock, a brat that gets trained into being an absolute shameless harlot, stripped off any form of dignity. Stripped off that elegant facade. So utterly dirty and below him.

For as long as those two don't work on their actual plans to get their hands on the real darling, they're left with the sad reality of cumming into lifeless caricatures of the real prefect. (They have zero rizz, they just keep fucking up their flirting attempts and opportunities.)

It would be even funnier if they read the doujins Idia makes. The MC is oddly familiar, can't think of who it resembles... Oh well, it gets the junk junkin!!!

I wanted a bit of a different trope for darling and the tweels! I hope it was good to read, Mera! I don't see a lot of Floyd pacifying darlings. (Maybe I haven't been looking in the right areas.) I just love a dynamic with Jade where he isn't as sleek with rude innuendos as he thought. Someone finally matched his passive aggressive freak!!

Always remember to prioritise yourself over content creation! It's quite easy to neglect the little things like hydration! It's been way too long since I last sent you an ask <3

Xoxo, Izuna.

꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

IZUNA...... IZUNA!!!!! GRABBING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS!!! AAAAAAA THIS IS SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST A GOOD READ. THIS WAS BRILLIANT AND SO DELICIOUS AND AN ENTIRE FIVE-STAR MEAL!!!!!

(๑﹏๑//) I'm eating so incredibly good with this omg,,,, the different interpretations of darling for each eel is so yummy. Aaaaa Floyd would absolutely have a thing for being called senpai,,, it just sounds so lovely coming from your mouth... Floyb with his cock-drunk and no-thoughts-in-head-other-than-cum doll and Jade with his brat of a doll who fights him until the very end when she's unraveling beneath him....... so good. orz orz orz

They're both such losers!!! T_T getting off with a doll while imagining it to be the real you even though the spell breaks when they're no longer horny,, >_< aaaaa so maidenless!

That line in the beginning of your ask regarding mushroom dildos... 👀 there are so many thoughts in my mind... Jade is a freak when it comes to his mushrooms!!! You just happen to be his favorite darling to test these things on. <3

[monaisdark]

AHHHH! I loved your virgin shiggy post, I was wondering if you could make a part two with reader giving shigaraki a tit-fuck in an empty classroom, with degradation kink, and exhibition kink! I'm sorry if this too horny - Anon ♥♥

haha.. im back i guess. Its been a couple weeks but i have some time to start writing again :)) checking my inbox, i did NOT expect this many people wanting a pt2 to my virgin shiggy post. prolly my fault for holding it off for so long :/ so i made it longer than i planned but count this a thanks for 200+ followers!! <3 anyways i really need to catch up on my inbox but expect more from me !!

➨ paring — Virgin! (not anymore) Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Bully! Reader

➨ warnings — Sub! Shigaraki, Dom! Reader, mommy kink, slight masturbation, humiliation, degradation, begging, exhibition, tit-fucking, hand-job, cum denial

PART 1

Shigaraki messed up. It’s been a week. A week since you cornered him in a room and took his virginity.

He still remembers what you told him when you left— “Take a shower tomorrow. Also wear a different top for god’s sake. If you do... I might let you touch me.” 

Shigaraki beat himself over for agreeing to it as soon as he got home. You were his bully. One of the people making his school experience even more unbearable than it already was.

Yet he completely was undone as soon as you placed your hands on him, and you knew it. He just didn’t know what you wanted.

Dick? No, you were pretty and popular— you could probably get some from more desirable guys. To bully him? Sure, you said mean things to him during the encounter but the bullying was always around your friends.

For a whole school week, he stayed home. Making up some bullshit to the school that he had the flu. Frankly, he was scared to go. How was he supposed to face you?

Did you tell anyone? Secretly record it? Was he currently the laughing stock of the entire school for begging to continue to fuck you?

But even away from school, you had an effect on him. He’s still a horny guy. Now, jerking off wasn’t the same anymore, not when he had some taste of pussy thanks to you.

Shigaraki would always end up thinking back to you, even with porn he couldn’t get you out of his head. His hands clamping around his cock weren’t the same as your pussy, same with the bodies of other women.

He found himself indulging into mommy kink porn, something he didn’t really get off from before you. Shigaraki pretend it was you talking to him, bouncing onto his lap and letting him touch you.

But after a bit— Shigaraki found it going no where, they weren’t you.

Cursing, he would always finish early. And not in a good way. In a way where he was left unsatisfied. Putting his painfully hard cock back into his sweats and trying to sleep his horny-ness away.

Shigaraki realized he needed you, you talking to him, you around his cock. Now, he regretted not sticking to his word. But he’ll make it up for you.

You were quite mad. Shigaraki hasn’t been to school since that day. How ungrateful, you literally let him put his dick in you and now he ghosts you in real life.

You fully expected him to be at school the next day with the way he begged you to stay, clean and ready for you. So imagine your annoyance in seeing him not show up for several days.

But today was different, the newly ex-virgin actually showed up. To your surprise, he still did more than you expected him to do despite being a week late.

Shigaraki had changed his hoodie to a whole new one, it looked recently bought. As well as his hair, looking more soft than greasy like it typically was. Though he didn’t style it, it still overhanging on his face.

Still, he definitely looked a lot better, not enough for others to notice but enough for you to smirk at your work.

Both of you didn’t interact with each other besides a few glances until lunch. You guys sat on completely different ends of the cafeteria, him sitting in a small corner table while you sat in a large one.

Shigaraki looked fidgety, meekly looking up every few minutes to watch you interact with your friends. He was waiting for school to end, planning to catch you at the same empty classroom you took his virginity in.

Though you had completely other plans.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” You got up from your table, grabbing your bag from off the floor. “To?” One of your friends asked, not looking up from their phone.

“Some nerd, he’s gonna do my homework we got last period. Apparently, his parents found out he’s been doing our homework and now he's gotta do them during lunch. Gotta make sure they do it right.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would just back off.

They didn’t look up, instead pulling their homework worksheet out of their binder with one hand, putting it in yours, “Get him to do mine.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the paper, “Yeah.” You walked away, crumbling the paper to throw it in the trash. You’ll just say you lost it. Not like they’ll do anything about it.

Narrowed eyes landed on Shigaraki, his eyes currently focused on his phone. You strudded your way to him, smirking to yourself.

Shigaraki almost jumped when he felt something brush against his leg. Looking up, he was met with you sitting down next to him.

“Hey.” You said, placing your bag on the table and putting your last period’s homework on the table.

“You’re good at chemistry, right?” You questioned, shifting through your bag for something to write with.

“...Well— I... um...—“ Shigaraki stuttered, unsure of what was currently going on.

“Great.” You pulled the phone out of his clammy hands, replacing it with a pencil. “...What?” He tilted his head, was this a joke? Did you completely forget about a week ago?

“Hm...? Well, get onto it.” You uttered him on, putting your chin in your hands, eyeing him. Reluctantly, he looked back to paper, beginning to work on it.

After around 5 minutes, you brushed against him even more, getting close to his side. “What does that say?” You pushed yourself further into his side, your chest touching his arms.

Shigaraki cursed himself for already becoming red, he pants tightening around his crotch as last week flashed into his head again.

“Um... m-mole is a unit of measur— Hmph!“ He held back a loud whine when your right hand traveled to his crotch.

“What— what are you doing?” He asked under his breath, holding back small whimpers as you palmed him, “Where have you been?” You questioned sternly, upset he kept you waiting.

“I’m sorry... I got sick.” He bluffed, it was too embarrassing to admit he was scared. With how he left you hanging, he expected people to be laughing at him the moment he stepped onto school grounds.

“Sick? A whole week?” You hummed, you could already tell he was lying. Still, you were proud that he even bothered to make it up to you by fixing himself up.

“With your diet of energy drinks and chips, I’m surprised you’re not dead.” You decided to let it go, he was just nervous to show up.

Yet you think he deserves a bit of punishment.

Shigaraki felt heavy as you teased the zipper of his jeans. He immediately tensed, “Wait— now..?” He saw you narrow your eyes, “Something wrong?”

“There’s people here!” He whispered yelled, flinching as he felt you unzip his jeans ever so slowly, trailing your finger along his exposed boxers.

“So? You’re just some loser in the corner, nobody will notice if you aren’t obvious.”

Shigaraki could already feel pre-cum form at his tip, staining his boxers a bit. You giggled a bit, feeling the dampness of his boxers. “Already?” Shigaraki shook his head, “I... I haven’t came since... that day.”

You laughed a bit louder than you expected to, good thing the cafeteria was already loud. “How sweet of you. Couldn’t get it on?”

Shigaraki focused his eyes on your paper, muffled moans caught at the back of his throat as you freed his cock from his boxers.

Now slowly pumping him, Shigaraki dropped the pen of the table. He wanted to do something with his hands, to touch you.

He moved his hand to your thigh, but of course, you didn’t allow him, “You’re too eager. Get back to work.” You ordered. Shigaraki was about to question you but you stopped him with stroking his cock faster.

Both of you continued this way for a bit, him answering questions with his shaky hands while you jerked him off.

Shigaraki could’ve sworn he felt eyes on him a couple of times, yet every time he looked up, nobody was even batting an eye in his direction.

He could feel his cock twitch at the excitement of being caught. How would they explain one of the most popular girls giving an outcast a hand-job under the table?

As he got to the last question— he was already drooling on the paper, mouth clenched shut to avoid moaning and panting to be let out.

You could tell he was about to cum, the writing on the paper progressively getting sloppier as time went on. “M-mommy...” Shigaraki whispered just enough for you to hear, “Hmm, you want to cum?”

He nodded furiously, he was extremely pent up and needed release. And just as he thought, you were the only one who can give it to him.

Shigaraki whimpered when you pulled away, looking up at the clock and collecting your stuff. “Then after school, room 204. Actually listen and show up when I tell you this time.”

You walked away just in time for the bell to go off, signifying that lunch was over. Leaving Shigaraki, once again, a mess.

Here he was again, feeling nostalgic as you walked into the empty classroom. Shigaraki easily grew again while anticipating this, the tent prominent in his jeans.

“Y’know, good job for showering and changing.” You gave him praise, Shigaraki turning red from your words. “This... this means I can touch you, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah. I actually keep promises.” He ignored the jab at him, it didn’t matter how mean you were— he was going to touch you finally.

Shigaraki awkwardly shuffled towards you, raising his hands up to look at you with wide eyes. He slowly paced a hand on your boobs, trying to see if this was just some test and you’ll get mad at him.

When he didn’t get anything back, he immediately started to dough on your clothed breast, cupping them. Then, he moved to unbutton your shirt, already seeing you thought ahead and took off your bra before coming here.

He fully took off your shirt, not wasting time on latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, both hands playing with your breasts. Shigaraki was basically humping your leg, sucking your nipples like a baby.

You giggled a bit, patting his head. He looked up at you with a clouded look, pure joy in his eyes as he finally got to touch you.

Looking back down at him, another idea popped up— you already took his virginity and gave him his first hand-job, whats another one of his firsts? “Shigaraki, do you want to feel really good?” He unlatched from your nipple, “I can be inside you?”

“No.” He frowned a bit, but perked up when you trailed your fingers on his boxers. “What if I put this,” You pointed at your boobs, “In between these?”

Shigaraki was already down, eagerly sitting on a desk while you got on your knees. He freed his cock, putting it in between your slick pushed together breasts, thanks to his sucking earlier.

You wasted no time on stroking it up and down with your breasts. He moaned feeling the softness of the valley between your chest, your breasts around his cock giving him warmth as you stimulated him.

Shigaraki was definitely feeling great, you even let him bend down and grab your breasts to control the speed of the tit-job.

Though, Shigaraki wanted more. You were giving him all these things, a hand-job, a tit-fuck. He’s been inside you once and he didn’t get to do what he wanted in the first place. To cum inside his mommy.

He feels a knot grow in his lower abdomen, but he doesn’t wanna cum yet. Instead, he pulled himself away from you, much to your confusion.

“What? You literally were about to cum and I was gonna let you!” You groaned, getting up as Shigaraki faced you.

“...Mommy, can I fuck you?”

“No, you didn’t come to school for a whole week. If you really wanted to you would have showed up.”

Shigaraki turned red, sputtering as he held onto your arm, “Please! I just want you cum inside you.” He whined, tears pricking at the chance of not getting to have sex with you after all this time.

You looked at him stoned faced as he begged, even falling to his knees dramatically to add to his desperation. “Fucking virgins, man.”

Shigaraki felt himself be pushed down, your skirt and panties on the floor. You straddled onto his length, moans filling the room quickly.

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, mommy!” Shigaraki thrusted his hips into yours, feeling even more over-joyed when he was allowed to touch your chest while you were on top of him this time.

Shigaraki desperately missed this, now he remembers why his hand didn’t compare to your tight pussy after trying to jerk off. He found his own rhythm quickly, muffled ‘mommy’s due to his mouth on your breasts.

“I’m doing this because you cleaned up, if you didn’t I would’ve left you to your own sad-ass devices already.” You lied, honestly, you hated the idea what he possibly was ignoring you by not showing up to school.

Even then, you’ve grown a bit found of him. His body, his expressions, his voice, everything really. It didn’t bother you as much when you saw his still messy hair, you were just glad to see him.

Though, you’d never admit it. Instead, it showed through the way you were tightening around his cock, panting as he moaned into and out your body. Shigaraki very quickly wrapped his arms around you, both of you on the edge.

“Fuck— Shigaraki. Cum, cum for mommy, okay?” You ordered, Shigaraki more than ready to fulfill it.

“Ah, thank you! Thank you, mommy! I’m gonna cum inside you!” Both of you rided out your highs, Shigaraki filling you so much it started to drip outside your full cunt.

He fell on top of you despite you initially being on top, you wanted to scold him but honestly couldn’t bring yourself to right now.

The room quieted down, the only words being exchanged were by Shigaraki softly muttering “Thank you, mommy.” into your neck

[ccborrega]

What's wrong with the Twilight Princess manga? (Genuinely curious because I often hear it's good)

No, I mean, it's good! What I've read isn't really terrible (And take in account that because they aren't selling it here just yet, I've only read what I've been able to find online.) This is most likely about me putting something in the tags about how most fans ignore it, referring specifically to Link's backstory, but like...Bruh I'm biased, don't pay mind to my rambles XD

...

*rambles anyway.

I mean, it IS good. I like it enough that I want to buy the whole thing once it's completed, available in my country (In english because the spanish names are a fucking joke) and have enough money that I don't regret buying like 12 tomes that are like 120 pesos each. It brought some ideas that are gold, such as Luda and Shad coming with Link in the adventure for a short time, Midna helping Link beat the Gorons in sumo (Though it does sacrifice one of the most hilarious parts of lore of the game.) and the questionability of Hyrule's attitude towards anything that isn't 'Pure' or 'Bright'. I just disagree with a lot of the choices made in it.

Link's backstory. I had thought it to be a matter of personal taste at first, where I saw him as someone who maybe came from outside but grew in Ordon and was just getting stupidly offended over differing opinions, but as it turns out I just didn't remember why I'd had that idea for years now. Ilia mentions having been kids together with Link, and hilarious as the thought that she's referring to one year prior to events in the game is, it most likely means he's been there for years. Honestly? My impression is they wanted Link to not have too deep a tie to Ordon for whatever reason, and I Hate That. I'm certain I'm not the only one to say 'That's bullshit' and just go with something else there, which is why I say most of us ignore it anyway.

They highkey stole an arc from Hyrule Warrior Legends. Though tbf they also put a very blatant 'Empire Strikes back' moment in there and as much as it annoyed me... it was pretty cool. Still, this is the one game where Shadow Link had no business to be and they put it in there for an entire fucking arc.

Twilight Princess' cast is fucking HUGE why on Hylia's green earth are you putting OCs in there??? It's not even like they're filling a role no one else could have had! They've done it before in their previous Zelda works, and other manga adaptations have as well, but I like most of them because they had something to bring to the table (Even if it was romantic drama, in Ganthy's case.) here it's little to nothing they can contribute with that couldn't have been done by putting an already existing character there. It may be my theatre brain speaking but it bothers me when you have a huge cast and do NOTHING with it and instead bring out another character out of NOWHERE to get things done. Just use what's already there, damn you!

Zelda and Midna's backstory. Hear me out... I love it... but it doesn't work. I've spoken before about how much it annoyed me when the narrative had Zelda and Link respectively blame themselves for the invasion (Even though the guy invading is RIGHT THERE???!?!) for having 'Touched' the dark and made it so it could invade their world, and that's part of it. The other is: Having Zelda sacrifice for Midna not because it was the right thing to do, not because it's the one thing she can do for her people, for the Twili, for Link and Midna herself, and instead making it 'You're my childhood inter-dimensional pen pal, I just realized, welp, time to die.' kind of cheapens the impact it had on Midna in the game and what it says about Zelda as a character (We barely get anything on her in the game, but what we do get is powerful.) It's beautiful, but it misses the point completely.

Also Midna just randomly showing up in Link's dreams in her true form is stupid. YEAH, I SAID IT! I get it they're probably thinking 'Well, what's the point in building up anticipation? You know this is what she looks like already.' but one of the reasons the ship is so heart-wrenchingly good is Link knew her inside and out despite her warped shape. In the end, it didn't matter what she looked like so long as it was her. Link fell in love with her gremlin ass transformation AND THAT IS PERFECT OK??? Imagine like if on 'Beauty and the Beast' Belle just randomly kept meeting the prince in dreams, like they're waving a carrot in front of her to get things done with so she can smooch that freaky Habsburg mug. It's fucking awkward! (And it sort of cheapens their actual chemistry, it feels a lot like 'Oh, he has to see she's hot or it wouldn't be believable that he fell in love.' Get outta here with that.)

Shad.

OK, fine, I'll elaborate. Shad has a dialogue in-game about following up on his dad's life work, it is also implied that he's passed away. What does the manga do? Ignore all that and make it so Shad's dad is a 'Serious' investigator who disapproves of his son's interests. 'Shut up dad! It's not a phase dad! You go clean your room, dad!'. Why? No reason. It's not even interesting!

Shad is the friendliest fucking guy ever, rambling to Link about his hyperfixation on first meeting. Calls him 'Old sport' and stuff like that, seemingly befriends him immediately. What'd the manga decide to do with him? They're RIVALSSSS, and snarky to one another because Shad may or may not have a little crush on Ilia. UGH.

Look, you can't be a real Resistance if the members can't even look after themselves, so making Shad kind of a loser (Because he's a nerd. Hahah. Get it? Nerds are losers.) really took the piss out of the Resistance, tbh. Might have been the point, though, seeing how they needed to make space for their OCs in the final battle at Hyrule Castle... and, look, I've said this before but if you need to make a character look horribly bad for no other purpose than making another look more competent, you're not half as good a writer as you think you are. Link didn't need Shad to look pathetic to look more heoric, that's just sad.

Also take one look at that guy and tell me he doesn't drink his respecting women juice every damn morning and sometimes for dinner... well, in the manga, he's apparently kind of a leecher.

Srsly how is he friends with Ashei if he's kind of a leecher, she'd break his fingers.

There's probably more but I really don't want to come off like I'm trying to discourage people from reading it because I'm not! Like I said, it's a good manga! It has some pretty neat battle sequences, it makes Hyrule feel MASSIVE, it has some pretty horrifying moments that make the stakes feel more real, it takes things that are a certain way in the game for the sake of the mechanics and tries to make them more organic (In the specific case of Ilia's memory, it succeeds.) and Akira Himekawa never fails to make Zelda and every female character look gorgeous. It's just not great in terms of being an adaptation, but that's not necessarily a terrible thing, it just depends on taste. Still, specifically where Link's backstory concerns... I think most fans just ignore it because, really, it doesn't make sense.

[redhoodieone]

Wrong Number Part 2

A/N: Here’s Part 2! Uh…I don’t really know what to say other than…enjoy it! Hopefully, I can post Part 3 sometime next week.

Warnings: Language, Sexual Content, Text Message Nudes, and Mutual Masturbation.

I’m in complete shock. I know I’m frozen because I can’t literally take my eyes off the text message Jason sent to me. It’s clear; it’s in black and white, staring right at me.

Do you ever think we’ll meet each other?

He wants to meet me. Jason wants to meet me in person!

I want to text him back, but my mind is full of many ridiculous questions and the fears of Jason being a serial killer, or rapist, or just an insane Arkham escapee blows up in my head.

Before I knew it, I see the three bubbles on my screen.

I’m sorry. That was selfish of me to ask you that even though we’re still practically strangers to each other. Forget I asked, please?

My heart suddenly hurts like fuck. The pain I’m instantly feeling is very familiar. A broken heart?

It’s pure agony when I notice Jason texting me again.

I’m not going to be able to text tonight, sweetheart. I’m working late with my brothers. I’ll text you tomorrow. Have a good night. Sweet dreams.

I can’t believe I did this. How could I do this to a guy who’s been so funny, so sweet, and such a good friend in only just four days through text messages?

I seriously fucked up. And now I have no one to talk to until I fall asleep.

And as strange as it is, I only sleep well after I talk to him.

 ————————————————————————------------------------------

And true to his word, Jason texts me at five in the morning, only to let me know he made it home safe after working with his brothers.

We only spoke about our jobs once. He told me he works alongside police officers and tracks down criminals and helps brings justice to the city. He seemed almost hesitant to tell me and turned the conversation to me as if he doesn’t like talking about work. He made it clear that he would rather keep his work private, and I didn’t push him to tell me more. I didn’t want to ask a lot of questions, even if I’m sometimes curious about it, because I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable about it.

I had told him I’m a waitress at the local diner just a block away from GCPD, and how I’m a late-night writer who dreams of publishing my novel on love and loss. And after I confessed about the book I wrote to Jason, I noticed he was very enthusiastic about that and even told me he wants to read it.

And as the shy and insecure person that I am, I became embarrassed and said no.

That only fueled the fire between us. Jason went on to explain he loves to read. His favorite literature consists of Shakespeare (particularly Hamlet), George Orwell’s 1984 and Animal Farm, and even poetry from Edgar Allen Poe.

He even went into depth of how The Tell-Tale Heart mirrors his own reflection of life and stuck with him during a depressing time in his life.

It wasn’t until after we shared our love for literature that I found myself falling for Jason. As ridiculous and insane as that sounds, I couldn’t help but feel as if he’s the missing piece in my life.

It’s as if he’s the words to my story.

Important, but very valuable to a writer.

I was basically on a high that had me grinning like an idiot, giggling like a moron, and jumping in my seat as my stomach twists and turns like a roller coaster, when Jason refused to take no for an answer after I said he couldn’t read my novel. He even said his dad has connections to businesses in Gotham and could even help me get it published.

As much as I would want that, I couldn’t help but feel that it seems too good to be true. What if his dad took my novel and publish it as his own? What if I get cheated out of a contract and didn’t get paid fairly like I should? What if it’s basically a soul-sucking scam to just fuck my entire life up?

Jason must have sensed my hesitation after that, because he then began to tell me about his brothers.

How his older brother Dick still treats him like a kid, even though Jason is taller and stronger than him.

How his younger brother Tim is a computer nerd and often geeks out over the oddest things.

And how his youngest brother Damian is really a demon spawn, who tries to be tough shit, but is really a soft teddy bear.

He even has a sassy but wise butler, Alfred, who frightens him and sometimes reminds him of Vito Corleone from The Godfather. But the older man loves Jason as much as his dad, Bruce.

The stories about Jason’s family are the best. I always find myself excited to see what he texts me about his family.

How he and his brothers fight over their dad’s car, how they wrestle and spar to see who’s the strongest one, and how whenever one’s in trouble, the other three are already finding ways to save or bail the troubled one out.

It all makes me feel good to know they’re a close family. Especially when my cold, harsh reality reminds me I don’t have a family.

My parents died when I was just fifteen years old. I was in the school library alone during afterhours; reading on a beanbag chair because I didn’t want to go home. At that particular time, my parents were hanging around a different crowd. A crowd that was into drugs and gambling, and possibly other illegal activities I don’t even know about.

So, I chose to stay in the school library that night, sitting in my favorite beanbag chair the librarian allows me to use, reading a favorite horror book, munching away on a hot pocket (a snack also from the librarian), and just enjoy the silence but comfortable environment I would call home.

Then I was told they died in a car accident, but after eavesdropping on Commissioner Gordon and the other cops, I heard there could have been a hit on them.

The car accident happened only a block away from our apartment.

The brakes were cut.

The car was burning too much oil.

The airbags were taken out.

Many noticeable factors couldn’t pinpoint the real crime. Eventually, they just called it a “car accident”, and everything fishy about the case was ignored and never brought up again.

I suffered and struggled a lot in foster homes until I turned 18. I didn’t have any other family members to get into contact with, so I had to make do with the foster care system. After being shipped to three unstable and cruel homes, the last family only dealt with me until I turned 18 and I was soon kicked out. I did get lucky enough to get a job at the diner I’m working at since the new manager needed a pretty young girl to serve the customers.

I even went to Gotham Community College for a year but dropped out when I couldn’t pass any math and science classes.

It was fucking hard.

Science was confusing as hell.

Math was just evil and useless.

I hated those classes so much.

I only passed my English classes because reading and writing only made sense to me.

I even took a creative writing class and poetry class only to discover I want to write.

I want to be a writer.

So, I dropped out of college and decided to work full time at the diner as a waitress. Since no one wants to live and work in Gotham, I’m lucky enough to work morning and night without any issues. As dangerous and scary Gotham can be, I have nowhere else to go, so that’s why I stay here.

Maybe that’s why I’m eager to meet Jason. After everything I’ve been through, maybe I do need a little unpredictability.

Chances.

Risks.

The more I consider meeting Jason, the more I can imagine him being my family.

Or being a part of his.

Maybe.

 ————————————————————————--------------------------------

“You’re not going to meet him, right???” Stacey raises her voice at me in sheer annoyance and panic. She crosses her arms and glares at me to answer her. “Right, Y/N???”

I sigh as softly as I can while wiping down the booths and tables for the night. In the midst of a battle, I find myself growling with irritation when I can’t wipe away the sticky maple syrup spills on the hard surface.

“He could be a fat, old man who picks up on teenage girls! He’s probably some 40-year-old loser who still lives on his mom’s basement playing Street Fighter with kids! What if he tricks you into meeting up in a hotel room and has his way with you? Then what, Y/N?! Does that sound like a good idea to you?!” Stacey snaps.

I exhale deeply and stand up straight; after leaning over the table to reach the opposite side for some time. Turning around, I face Stacey Patterson, a tall, petite, pretty blonde, fresh face girl straight out of high school. She’s a waitress like me, and after only working here for a year, we’ve become close friends; always looking after each other in dangerous Gotham City.

“I didn’t say I was going to meet him, Stacey. We’re just talking about it,” I answer timidly.

Despite being five years older than Stacey, she still intimidates the hell out of me. Whether it’s her 5’11 height, loud voice, or natural evil glare, I can never speak up or defend myself. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t take a stand.

Because what if I actually piss her off? What if she stops being my friend?

Because I don’t think I could live in Gotham and not have any friends and not know anyone.

Stacey is like my best friend, and her friends Amber and Holly hang out in our group. Stacey even says they’re my friends, too, even though I clearly know they only put up with me because of her.

And if Amber and Holly aren’t my friends, then I’ll just have Stacey. And if I don’t have Stacey, I’ll only have Jason.

And who knows if Jason is who he says he is, and if he’s even real.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Y/N! You’re totally thinking about Jason! You’re thinking about meeting up with him because I could see it in your eyes!” Stacey declares. She waves her arms around to emphasize her point. “You like this guy! You have feelings for a guy you’ve never even met!”

“That is not true,” I argue weakly.

“Yes, it is! And we don’t even know if it’s a guy!”

“Jason is a guy, and I can tell!”

“Oh, really? How? Do tell.”

I stare at Stacey with a serious expression, except my cheeks are burning with embarrassment as usual. “He...comes off like a guy. I know he is. I can tell through his text messages,” I say.

“Anybody can sound like anyone through text messages. That’s how people catfish victims online!” Stacey argues.

“I’m a writer, Stacey. I just...have a feeling, okay? I know Jason says who he is, and I believe him,” I say strongly, as I push a lose strand of my hair behind my ear. “I’m doing this the smart way, too. When he and I decide when we should meet up, I’ll let you know. Maybe we can make it a group thing. I bring a friend. He brings a friend.”

Stacey sighs in defeat when she realizes I’m not backing down. She glances up at me with a stern face. “Fine. When you two decide when you’re both going to meet up, I’ll be there. I’ll be there to make sure he’s not on America’s Most Wanted, and to make sure he doesn’t try to lure you to his mom’s basement. BUT...you have to go on a date. A REAL date with a guy we both know, AND who could be good for you,” she states loudly and clearly.

“But Stacey-”

“Hey! Only until this Jason guy comes to Gotham and we meet him! Until then, I want you to give this guy a chance. A fair chance! For me...please???” Stacey pleads. She pouts and gives me her puppy dog eyes, which she knows I always give in to.

I’m too nice. Mom always said I was too nice, and that one day it’ll get me in trouble.

I’m still wondering when that’ll happen.

“Okay, I’ll give this guy a chance. I swear I will,” I promise and salute her. “But who’s the guy?”

Stacey grins in success and hugs me tightly. “Good! Because you’re like my sister, Y/N, and I just want to see you happy. You deserve it,” she says softly. “And it’s Chace. Remember him? He’s the drummer from, WakeHell. He moved in right next door to me, and I know you two will hit it off right!”

Chace????

Oh yeah. I know him.

He’s a total bad boy. A bad boy I don’t even think I could deal with.

I force a smile but then frown, because the only guy in my life who makes me happy is Jason.

Who I only text.

Who I haven’t even met.

 ————————————————————————---------------------------------

The next day is a lazy day since it’s my day off. I spent the majority of it sleeping, doing laundry, and just doing minor cleaning around my apartment until it’s 9:00 P.M.

And Cruel Intentions is on TV.

Lying on the couch with my second glass of Vodka Cranberry, I find myself really buzzed and horny. Ryan Phillippe back then was hot, and him making out with Reese Witherspoon is doing things to me.

My phone bings. It’s Jason.

What are you up to tonight, sweetheart?

Just a night in, a cup of glasses of vodka and cranberry, and Cruel Intentions is on TV.

I barely realize I’m buzzed and texting Jason. But my horny side doesn’t care.

I sorry I’m buzzed right now lol.

LOL no worries. I just came back from the bar with my brothers. We had a successful night and decided to get some drinks. We even had Tim and Damian use fake I.D’s.

I laugh and snort. Thank God no one heard me do that.

That’s good...we wouldn’t want Tim and Damian to be left out. They’re your baby brothers, Jay.

Jay? I really like it when you call me that. And I especially like you buzzed. LOL.

I like me buzzed too! I think I’m way more fun and free!

LOL!!! Exactly, princess!

I smile down at my phone. I love it when he calls me princess.

You said you’re watching Cruel Intentions? I just found it on TV. Wow...this movie’s old LOL.

Shut up!!! I find young Ryan Phillppe sexy in this movie!

You seriously find him sexy??? The guy’s a whiny brat! A pussy! Fuck, this movie woulda been sexier if we actually saw the douchebag eat out Cecile and saw him fuck Annette AND Kathryn!

I gasp out loud and giggle.

Then it would have been a porno! Not a movie! Hahaha!!!!

That’s fine with me, princess!

I softly whimper at just the thought of Jason watching porn. Closing my eyes, I imagine how he would sound, touch himself, and look when he’s pleasuring himself.

My eyes shoot open when I hear Sebastian telling Cecile he wants to kiss her…down there. I quickly turn my attention to the TV and watch the movie. Even though he takes advantage of a clueless, drunk girl in the movie, just the thought of him eating her out makes me clench my thighs.

It’s been too long. WAY TOO LONG!

The last guy I was seeing didn’t like to eat me out; claimed it was disgusting and unnecessary to do before sex.

As if sucking his dick was glamorous AND fun!

My thoughts are interrupted when Jason texts me.

You’re quiet tonight…does this scene turn you on???

The laughing emojis he texts me should hurt my feelings since I can easily be embarrassed over sexual things but…he’s right.

I’m turned on with just the thought of getting eaten out.

I boldly text Jack back. Unashamed and VERY buzzed.

You have no idea. Just imagining him eating me out, writing the alphabet with his tongue, and making me have an explosion is making me wet my panties right now.

I laugh to myself just seeing that Jason read my text message and is responding fast. The texting bubbles have never looked so good.

You’re…you’re wet right now????

Yes. Soooo fucking wet.

A surge of drunken confidence hits me, and I quickly shove off my pajama shorts until they’re on the floor. In just my white tank top and pink panties, I bravely slip my fingers into my damp panties and rub the wetness against my sensitive clit.

And with my other hand, I raise my cell phone and snap a picture of fingers in my wet panties.

And I send the picture to Jason.

I bite my lip in anticipation when I see he read my text message and saw my picture. The texting bubbles do not appear on the screen. He’s not texting me back.

Frowning, I wonder if I freaked Jason out. Maybe I crossed the line. Maybe I made him uncomfortable. Maybe I’m just not sexy.

Suddenly, my phone beeps. Unlocking my cell phone screen, I see two text messages AND a picture.

Oh, fuck sweetheart…that’s fucking sexy. You’re fucking sexy…

Jason sends me a picture of him wearing his boxer briefs, and his hand holding his hard, thick cock, showing me the outline and shape of his boner.

Delicious. I can feel my pussy clench just from imagining Jason fucking me with his cock.

Fuck doll...you’re doing this to me.

I whimper pathetically and can’t help but continue to rub my clit and respond back. I can see my juices staining my panties.

Are you touching yourself too?

Fuck yeah. Just seeing your fingers playing with your wet, pretty pussy got me hard. I’m jacking off to your picture.

Would you want me like I want you?

Fuck yes, sweetheart. I probably want you more than you want me.

I slip a finger inside my pussy and moan. My thumb runs fast hard circles on my clit, and I’m soon pushing in two fingers. I’m fucking myself crazy, but I imagine Jason is finger fucking me because my fingers wouldn’t get me off so fast.

And his fingers are thick. His hands are fucking huge!

I bite my bottom lip. “Fuck...I can’t believe I’m going to do this,” I whisper to myself. I snap another picture of my fingers shoved in my pussy, and how I’ve gotten wetter. I send him the picture with the truth.

I need to cum so bad. I wish it was you touching me.

Yeah? What would you want me to do to you, doll?

Fuck that picture’s so hot.

I’d want you to finger me. Eat me out. Fuck me hard.

Jason sends me another picture of him stroking his cock but with his hand in his underwear. I can see a wet spot where his tip is; stained with his precum. I want a taste of it so badly.

Fuck I would baby. Your pussy looks so good enough to eat. I’d fucking eat you out until you can’t cum anymore. I bet you taste delicious.

Oh fuck…I’m so close. I want your cock so bad, Jay. You’re gonna make me cum…

Rub your clit harder baby. Fuck your pussy fast and hard with your fingers. Imagine they’re my fingers, baby. I’d fuck you so hard and deep. 

I want to see your cum, okay? Take a picture of that pretty pussy and show me what I did to you.

I do what Jason says. Behind his words, I can feel his authority. Even though I can’t hear Jason’s voice, just reading his words makes me burst like fireworks. My thumb rubs my clit harder, and I crook my fingers just right until I push against my g-spot until I cum. My orgasm is intense, and I force myself to snap a picture of my soaked underwear and fingers. I sent it to him with a lazy smile.

My phone beeps. Jason sent me a picture of his thick, juicy, cum covering his abdominal muscles. I smile a little with pride. 

Fuck that was hot, sweetheart. I needed that. 

Me too. Now, I’m sleepy. 

LOL, I’m tired too. Get some sleep, okay? We’ll talk in the morning.  

Okay…goodnight Jay.  

I roll over onto my side and shut off the TV. Pulling my UGG throw blanket over my body, I snuggle up to fall asleep. My phone beeps again. Opening one eye, I reach over to read the text message. 

Goodnight doll. Sweet dreams.  

[fruitylibrarian]

quest of the spear live rewatch!

i already spewed my pre call to adventure flynn thoughts all over a text post but I would like to repeat: pre-canon flynn my beloved <3

yes he is a bit of a bastard but he just loves his books and he’s so genuinely just like. passionate and like…. Big? does that make sense? like i mean inside. not literally. bright

flynn’s mom is so fucking funny

and she’s Trying Her Best

you know one thing I don’t understand, I assume that flynn could afford to keep going to college because of like grants and scholarships since he’s all smart and like, even if his mom is well off, no one below the morally bankrupt millionaire line can pay for 22 degrees and not die of no-money-itis otherwise known as Starving

but like. why not become a professor or some other academia position?

you’d be incredibly overqualified and you’re a white dude, so while academia isn’t exactly bursting with new spaces to fill I’m sure you could find something???? and like. a professor in particular, while baby flynn might not be great at the connection part, seems like a natural progression to at least try for considering it keeps you in that comfort zone and familiar space just in a different albeit familiar role, and allows you to go on long lectures people can’t interrupt. and like, professors literally like, part of their job is research and to continue learning, so like. it seems like the natural choice for him to go for?

don’t get me wrong, baby flynn in particular might not be extremely well suited considering his lack of people skills, but plenty of professors are brilliant slightly odd smarties who give long, super engaging theatrical lectures (sounds like him!) but suck at one on one meetings and talking to people or may be accidentally insulting, but like, their class is genuinely interesting and they grade decently so like, I think he could get past that hurdle is what I’m saying

obviously he’d have to work at it and get the skills necessary but you know what that means? MORE SCHOOL, BABY! just in a different direction! like just? it seems like the obvious choice for his situation

ah yes!!! magic letter!!! it’s kind of funny they do this, it’s a great hook and way to make applicants go Uh Excuse Me and want to know more but also like, there’s no proof magic happened either?

although you’d think some people would get obsessive like let me tell you if i encountered real ass magic like that i wouldn’t stop until i had an answer

ah the Incredibly Long Interview Line. it’s kinda how funny how like. Not Special he is but at the same time he is?

“never been treated so badly in my entire life!” what did you say to him charlene

i’m sure he deserved it i just want to know

wait oh no i just realized

all these people are dead

every single one of them got murdered in the first episode of the series

jesus that’s dark

not gonna be able to stop thinking about that one huh

also love how it’s pretty evenly men and women

although it’s still mostly white

fuck that lady just left crying I know they’re doing this to turn up the drama but DAMN, charlene

god he almost gave up. remember the timeline episode where he never became the librarian? weird.

Gkjlfkgjhfglh Where Do You Think You’re Going? (weak gesture like “me?”) Yes You. Get In Here amazing how can she even see him she’s around the CORNER. camera? magical surveillance? why? just to freak people out? amazing.

i do so love charlene, it’s a shame she wasn’t in the show more

also she literally never explains shit. What Makes You Think You Can Be The Librarian he doesn’t even know what that means, charlene

He Doesn’t Even Have A Library Science Degree

oh wow he does actually have librarian qualifications lmao

why did i not remember that

DLKFGJDFG I did remember him sherlocking her tho

wait her MARRIAGE? to WHO?

i thought her and judson were a thing despite jenkins being into her or something?

huh

also why does this qualify him to be The Librarian™ like oh he can sherlock? ok?

maybe it’s just bc he had the balls to do it

well, the sherlock thing is also not completely unhelpful it just doesn’t seem central to his skills, or at least, not the way he uses it (do we see him use it like this again? he usually applies more obscure knowledge then ye classic deduction sherlockian skills if I remember correctly which I may not because my brain is smooth)

judson is such a fucking drama queen

LKDJFGLKDJFGLDKFJG I FUCKING FORGOT HE LITERALLY JUST FUCKING REPEATED HIS MOM’S LITTLE PHRASE AMAZING

also why did he seem to think her sending everyone home meant he didn’t get it why would she stop all interviews because you fucked up

he just fucking walked out of a wall judson you are so dramatic

also warehouse 13 vibes huh. welcome to a world of endless wonder

I could do a whole fucking thesis on warehouse 13 and the librarians or—well that’s a whole other tangent

anYWYA

this interview was remarkably easy tho, it’s not like he wasn’t impressive but it wasn’t mindblowing either????? this coming from a big fan of flynn

the big shiny wonderous eyes as the library lights up……flynn my beloved

also his floofy hair ldkfgjdlkfgj

he’s like this is too good am I being prank’d

why the mona lisa?????iIs the mona lisa magic??? It only became famous because it got stolen why would it be magic??? Is this one of those we make it magic by believing it or some shit things???

Flynn Do Not Open The Random Box In The Library Of Incredibly Dangerous Artifacts

oh hello excalibur !!

oh rip flynn immediately being like “oh im not worthy, trust me” with 100 percent certainty im hurt oof

KSJFLGKDJGLKDJG THE APPLE “the apple from the garden of eden…….” *judson takes a bite* “actually I just left this here”

excalibur hello properly!!!!

judson is such a fucking DRAMA QUEEN he’s so casual!! and cal you too you slippery bitch!  

ah the jetpack.

DLFKGJDLKFGJ “it usually takes a new librarian four hours to find the jetpack. you did it in three! congratulations” love the implication that every librarian (at least since it was added to the library) has done this no matter how serious like the bad guy of this movie… *checks notes* edware wilde? jetpack. darrington dare, probably? jetpack. i like to think jenkins did it too (not technically a librarian, but you know)

flynn thinking of himself as embarrassing… ☹

HIS MOM IS SO PROUD OF HIM

part sweet, part funny, part rip

I don’t know what she was expecting when he said librarian tho like. originally he literally looked at shit for FRY COOk degrees don’t always mean shit you know

and librarian is up there with professor in Perfect Jobs For Flynn like what did you expect??? Like even if he’d become an archaeologist (a “cool” job) it’s not like that pays super well either as far as I know??

he was never going to be Traditionally Successful

he’s still the same person he still has the same strengths and passions of course he would go into academia and do something like librarian like????? her reaction saddens me.

just be happy for him!! look at him!!!

ok first of all even normal non magic librarians don’t just put books on shelves and that’s a condescending reduction of the job, and second of all, he is so happy!! he has a job, he’s taking responsibility, he’s meeting people, isn’t that enough??? isn’t that literally what you wanted??? even if it WERE what you think it is why couldn’t it just be a good first step??? like??? fuck??? you did been know that he was doing all those fancy degrees because he loved them not because they’d get him some super fancy job??? I mean egyptology is not the most profitable field you know this isn’t med school or whatever

god.

flynn’s mom, visibly not proud and very upset: of course im proud of you!

ok im being a little unfair, she’s trying and clearly she’s been supportive of him, if not straight up enabling of him, but like this is clearly being presented as like. normal person who is normal forced to take care of freakish strange son who is so nerdy and strange and a loser and she is so tired of his shenanigans and all that WORK she put in and he’s NOT FANCY AND CHANGING TO CONFORM TO HER IDEALS OF A GOOD SUCCESSFUL SON/MAN?

and that’s just all very. sigh.

the snake brotherhood are such obnoxiously cheesy villainous villains they’re even called the snake brotherhood

also I think we’re supposed to recognize him as the previous librarian from the painting but if I didn’t already know that I for sure would not know that

smartass flynn is a smartass

I never got people bringing someone coffee to impress them unless they knew their order like there’s no way you know who she likes her coffee so you could so easily get it wrong—like even if you don’t know exactly how much sugar she wants, you could also just get it entirely wrong like assume she likes black coffee but she likes it super sweet, or vice versa, or whatever. it can go wrong so easily!

or she could go “I Hate A Kiss Ass”

she did take it anyway tho so.

ah i did forget (or just not actively think about) how much like… christian mythology there is in this show :/ I mean we did been knew (excalibur and arthurian legend are pretty important to the mythology)

not that christian mythology is inherently bad it just gets a) annoying, b) boring, and c) y’know, very western centric and all

but then trying to reconcile di—you know what that’s a tangent for another time

then again I do assume no one is going to read this

the library really does just throw new librarians into death and go “hope this is fine!” huh

did they just imply god is canon in the “the librarian” universe

you were so cryptic with the no one thing!! just say NOONE

he’s scribbling in his notebook and mumbling out loud what a mood and I love him. what a nerd

ldfkgjdlkjg god sexy jazz music and a breeze this is so dumb

I do hate the forced love interests in all these movies it’s always like Some Hot Girl Is There And They Get It On!

like he really had chemistry with eve and banter but here it kinda feels like that wish fulfilment and then the nerd gets the hot chick the end and im saying that as the nerd

it doesn’t help that each movie has a different one who immediately is dropped as if she never existed afterwards

maybe it’s not as bad as I remember but. sigh

my instant impression of her is to not like her sorry nicole :/

she’s just so rude? she’s like. hot (derogatory)

i get there’s gender politics here with like. she’s used to being treated like a piece of meat and generally like, why not reap the benefits when you are going to get the creeps too, but like, also she’s just so unnecessarily rude—I mean rejecting his clumsy flirting is one thing but you know—ok I won’t even get into that the point is I just don’t really like her that much even tho I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad person or anything you know

but to be fair I think she got better and I remember her being compelling in her return to the show

and like. I do like how the trend in this franchise is “smart little nerd librarian and badass lady guardian kicks ass” but I do wish that it turned around occasionally. we do get cassandra but like. more lady librarians

wow an air marshal? aren’t they rarely even on flights?

sorry im being nitpicky there for sure lmao. please delete the cinamasins ding my words probably summoned from your brain

I get why shoving him out was necessary but also Wow

Gjklhkjfgh imagine sitting next to some mumbling nerd the whole flight and then you see him fly past the windows

LFKGJDLKJDFG he brilliantly lowers our expectations then jumps without a chute! remarkable!

hilarious or commentary on men getting credit for womens’ competency? why not both

i really thought that she was going to be a lying liar the first time I watched this

ah naïve boy. “uh that’s against the law”

flynn’s greatest strength isn’t just his knowledge but his like. breadth of different topics, just like, passion for learning of any time, and like. the ability to not just know a lot of different things but cross-reference and apply them to each other and use them in tandem to understand a greater whole

and we love that for him!

ah flynn therapizing himself lmao

why would she take him going “this bridge is rotting and physically cant support our weight” as a challenge

or him being cowardly like THE STRUCTURAL SUPPORTS ARE ROTTING

YEAH WHAT DID YOU EXPECT OF COURSE HE FUCKING FELL

ok i lied i like nicole i just don’t love their dynamic

i get what they’re going for i just. not my thing

like with eve there was still a clear mutual respect? i guess? idk

maybe it’s just because i’m more sensitive to mean banter? i don’t like mean banter, even when it’s like, def 100 percent well meaning and not mean spirited and no one is actually offended or hurt

although despite not liking their Thing I do a) think it’s very cute how he looks at her, b) their vibe as they start to get to know each other is Better, c) the end of the movie scene where she rides in for maximum drama? now that was good shit.

oh he’s sherlocking her in a shy attempt to impress her but it’s only going to piss her off, right?

oh she’s just sherlocking him back

KSGFJLDKFGJ LMAO “nerd” and that’s it. fair

Cutting Off His Head damn that’s hardcore

hmmmm cringe,

and more cringe

and cringe.

her waking up to him gone right after telling that story about waking up to her librarian gone and then killed—oof

love the serpent brotherhood lady being like wow!! he’s SO COMPETENT!! (cuts to him screaming)

do these ancient traps just have infinite arrows?

also I do love the whole waltzing across trope what can I say im a sucker

DFLKGLDKFGJLDKJG fucking CHUCKS SOMETHING AT IT and immediately where he would be standing is crushed by a huge rock amazing

he literally just chucked a rock at it and it fell over

ah the classic “let the hero get it for us” move

oh there he is! rip

why does he look like macpherson

not really but kind of

also contrast between the lady always being like “omg the librarian is so smart” and him assuming nicole is the one who did the smart thing

“your tears were perfect” how much more of an asshole can you get

They really could have played him as more sympathetic—“oh, we’re always around these powerful artifacts but we never use them for good! I had to do it, I was sick of sitting back and doing nothing” or like “all those years of danger and guarding powerful things and what good did it ever do me? what do I get for my service?” or anything but nah hes just like “mm power good babes. anyway I love sex and being mean”

to be fair flynn he was the librarian too—a real librarian? I mean yeah edward was corrupted and ultimately failed his duties but he had to have been qualified and actually got the job for a reason

flynn I know you think you sound badass but you really don’t

god not shangri-la again. everything the show did with that was. Bad. yikes

why is—god, I should really learn her name [checks notes] lana fangirling so much?

also following the lamia tradition of “serpent brotherhood second in command who is more interesting than the main evil white guy and also a pretty woc” huh

never got like “this is literally impossible” “well do it or I [generic bad guy threat]” like usually that means nothing lmao

LDFKGJLDKFJLDKFGJ ok first of all god is me? bitch?

second of all. me in english? on this fucking ancient very much not english thing? I mean I guess a) it might not be literal, even though he did say “m, e” by letters, b) it is a christian myth so maybe planted later??? but like?????

dude. giving the super powerful artifact to your prisoner? bad idea. if you’re worried about booby traps have a minion do it.

oh yes your gun is so scary in the face of a temple collapsing

why do heroes always think the whatever is safer with them than the temple that’s guarded it for a thousand years

I get it’s been discovered but like. fuck. still

You Are Going To Crash This Helicopter

SLKGJ HORRIBLE HIGH VELOCITY PIE OF DEATH

flynn and judson…..wholesome

oh here comes more forced romance

just let them be friends who grow to mutually respect each other blease

it is very fucking funny that the mom is like ….. oh my god…. oh my god,,, a WOMAN AJUST ANSEWREDM Y SDONGS PHONE?????????OH MY GOFD?????

he is bisexual. but it’s good he’s getting out

ah floofy hair

cahooting,

Yes You Do Need Clothes

that’s a teleporter sir

god eddie wild is such a boring fucking villain and person

and his plan SUCKS

also the serpent brotherhood (why BROTHERhood?) sucks and hates the library why would they just let this guy, a librarian, literally be their new leader

wow he just stabbed a guy on his OWN TEAM for no reason

great going asshole

love how lana is just like…. O-O

we stan lana. she hasn’t done much and she’s technically a bad guy i just love her

“at last we can be one” what does that even mean

why would lana or any of them want to help him he just killed one of their own for no reason hes clearly tripping on power and leaving yall to die

lfkgjdlkfgj flynn dodging so hard while the others is fight and then PUNCHING A GUY

dfglkjdflgkj wait it’s the professor dude why is that so funny

is he WITH THEM??? I think I just missed something

hold on a sec

yeah I think he just appears??? And flynn just fucking broke his nose iconic

wait so was he with them or is he just here going WHY ARE THERE RANDOM PEOPLE IN MY PYRAMID????????????

oh right he built the—ok I got it

Wait what

I mean I did think lana was neat and she seemed impressed with flynn but what shes just like, in love with him now? that makes zero fucking sense why would she want them to Be Together

Is it just so there can be a catfight between the two hot chicks?

seriously tho? morally pure blonde blue eyed girl versus Evil Asian Chick? really?

for the record NOT THAT IT MATTERS but lana is way cuter im just saying

ah badass judson

THE COMEDY OF THE CAPSTONE CRUSHING HIM DLFKGJDLKFGJ

oh………….pulling out excalibur…. predicable but so good

oh the painting….the very Parenty way of revealing it…… wholesome

oh did NOT like that transition

oh here comes the badass fucking entrance with his gf busting in on his mom trying to set him up with girls

HER ENTRANCE IS SO UNNECESSARAILY DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM

I just love the mom’s face ldfkgjldfkgjdlkfgjdlkfjgd shes like WHAT THEGUFVCJK

again I don’t love the vibes of “oh my weird loser son is finally normal!” but to be fair im exaggerating a bit from just facial expressions it’s just. sigh

but ngl the vindication of him being able to be like. yeah that’s right im a badass now and my gf is cool as fuck is still good

him and nicole do have not terrible vibes at the end but if I remember correctly that mission (time travelling ninjas and hg wells’s time machine) is the one that separated them so rip I guess

overall: good movie! as cringe as I remember but I still love flynn so much

[cheseyre]

good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all. 

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo 

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo 

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS  BEEN SO  LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀 

Okay, okay. 

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 

There is no in between 

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

Like

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay. 

Okay. 

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 

Like

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww 

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose? 

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

[noahhernandez]

2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it

I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.

2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o

the same ! 

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k

One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me. 

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them

I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th

For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol. 

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition 

That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol. 

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight

I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago. 

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol

Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit. 

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great

I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.

When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing

Just awkward and nothing to which I expected. 

14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it

Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too 

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow

I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it. 

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness. 

I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time 

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head

Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library. 

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now

When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.

20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol

One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.

Literally anyone on grindr.

22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck

Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so.  IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot. 

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)

One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level

I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me. 

25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds. 

Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying. 

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV

I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>??? 

I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol

28:Talk about your fetishes. none

yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of. 

29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward. 

30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by

that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes 

31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho

um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it. 

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot

My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :( 

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u

I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful. 

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life

I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away 

I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes. 

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating 

I would say idk eating was a stupid answer. 

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never

I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa idk anything else

um Idk. i rly cant think  39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that

That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school).  40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start

When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart. 

[clotpolesonly]

QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ANSWER FOR ANY OTP: Dallison!

MY LOVE, YOU KNOW JUST HOW TO PANDER TO ME

Coffee shop AU: Who is the barista, and who frequents the coffee shop?

Derek is working the counter at the cafe his family owns, despite being independently wealthy enough to never work a day in his life, because his mother thinks it’s important that all her children “learn the value of hard work” and know the business from the bottom up. in theory, he greatly respects the sentiment. in practice, he hates this fucking job so fucking much.

but there’s a pretty grad student who comes in for lattes every tuesday and thursday afternoons whose bashful smile almost makes it worth it.

Highschool/College AU: Who is the straight-A student, and who’s the backrow slacker?

Allison is a good girl, okay, and a good student. she does what she’s supposed to do both because she’s supposed to and because she wants to be able to take pride in her accomplishments. if that makes her a nerd or a loser, then so be it. better than being a delinquent badboy who refuses to take anything seriously.

she comes to find out that Derek rocks the “nothing left to lose” attitude because he literally has nothing left to lose. he already lost it all. it’s hard to give a fuck about geometry tests after that.

Rivals to loves AU: Who takes their rivalry seriously, and who is half in it just to push the other’s buttons?

oh, they both take it seriously. they both take it way too seriously, lol, to the point where their friends, family, teachers, and occasionally random passersby who get caught in the crossfire all start getting Very Concerned.

does it devolve into locker room hate sex? of course it does. but it also somehow leads to confessions of feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure, jealousy, and stubbornly suppressed attraction. (okay, that last part doesn’t get talked about out loud, but the hate sex made it pretty obviously so they don’t need to, lol.)

Enemies to lovers AU: Which one switches sides?

definitely starts with Allison as a fully fledged hunter and part of her family’s organization. werewolves are monsters, inevitably violent and out of control, a threat to humanity as a whole. Allison believes that. until she meets Derek.

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Allison’s a romantic, so sue her. she was as into the fantasy growing up as any other little girl and she can’t wait for the day that she’ll lock eyes with someone and just know that they’re for her.

Derek thought he had that. problem is, there’s no outward sign, no real solid indisputable confirmation. it’s just a feeling, and feelings can be wrong. Derek was so, so wrong, and he’s never gonna be able to trust that “feeling” again.

Single parent AU: Which one is the single parent? (Alt. if they’re both single parents: Which one is open to starting a new relationship from the start? Which one is never planning on finding love again… Until they meet the other and are instantly smitten?)

Derek isn’t technically a father, per se, but he is left with custody of Laura’s kids after her death and that’s practically the same thing. he’s still got two precious tiny people completely reliant on him, which is almost as terrifying as developing feelings for a kind beautiful woman who turns out to be connected to the people responsible for losing the rest of his family so long ago.

Doctor AU: Which one is the longsuffering doctor? Which one is the patient?

oh god, i’m really not sure. Derek maybe, with Allison as the cop/agent who takes too many risks on the job and keeps winding up in the ER. though tbh, it works the other way too, with Derek as a loose canon cop with deep-seated trauma and nothing to lose, and Allison the doctor who’s grown fond of Derek over the years and is getting more and more worried that he’s gonna get himself killed.

Bodyguard AU: Who is the bodyguard? Who are they protecting? Which one is secretly pining for the other?

Derek is the son of a prominent alpha who’s had threats leveled against her and her family. hiring a former hunter to protect him is a....controversial decision, but Deaton vouches for her and that’s enough for Talia. Derek is a little more skeptical and having Allison at his back makes him nervous af. it doesn’t help that she’s ever bit as attractive and charismatic as the last hunter he made the mistake of falling for.

Pirate AU: Who is the pirate? Who is the member of the royal family who did not sign up for this?

the Hales are pirates, not welcome in polite ordered society. Peter is a little (or a lot) on the rogue side and makes the executive decision to kidnap a noblewoman to hold for ransom. Talia is, unsurprisingly, not pleased to find this out. Derek finds himself with the duty of guarding their new honored guest until they can find a way to return her to her family without getting captured and hanged in the process.

Childhood best friends AU: Which one was super obviously in love with the other the whole time? Who was oblivious until they were older?

Derek was a few years older and Allison definitely had a big starry-eyed crush on him, even when he was a gangly knock-kneed buck-toothed middle schooler, because he was nice to her and let her play sports with him like the other boys his age wouldn’t. Derek may or may not have realized that she was so hung up on him, but he left town before she was old enough for it to matter anyway.

when he comes back to town after college, he is overwhelmed with how fucking beautiful she’s grown up to be, not to mention confident and accomplished. his only saving grace is that she looks just as starstruck to see him now.

send me ships

[spideyy-girl]

Dating Richie Tozier Would Include...

Request by anon: hey are u writing richie fics??? if so can you just do one where he realizes he really loves her or just a dating richie fic?

Summary: pretty simple,,, what it would be like if you were dating the infamous “trash mouth” of Derry (spoiler it’s fukin awesome)

Fandom: IT

Warnings: swearing, abusive parents are mentioned, serious injuries and talking of death, making out

Word Count: 1480 (4.3 pages)

A/N: so this was requested in May and to the anon who did request this I’m so sorry it took so long! Also, I hope you don’t mind that I did a headcanon instead cause I just had so much to say. But anyways hope you enjoy!

~~~

Dating Richie is just so like nice and just perfect

you guys would've met a long time ago, he defended you when Henry Bowers tried to take your animal crackers in kindergarten

and ever since then you two were thick as thieves

being the closest friends out of the entire Losers club

you started to get feelings for him in sixth grade...

it was one of the many nights when he had come over to your house in the late hours of the night due to his mother drinking again or another family issue

you had stayed up and let him rant to you, holding his hand in yours and gently brushing your thumb against his knuckles as he tried to keep his tears at bay

he hated crying in front of you more than anyone

after he had gotten everything out he was exhausted

he fell asleep right away as you were finding extra pillows

still dressed in his jean shorts and stupid hawaiian shirt

you had seen it many time before but this time it triggered something in you and you knew you were fucked

you not being able to hide your feeling for him and told him two weeks later

you never kept any secrets from the other so it was bound to happen

but thank god he felt the same whoo

and this BOY he was just so EXCITED like YES

after you turn around he definitely starts dancing and pumping his fist in the air

you catch him doing it too

your first date is at the arcade (obviouslyyyyyy)

he teaches you how to play mortal combat

you guys get slushies and it somehow ends up in spilling the entire thing on each other

"SLUSHIE FIGHT"

but as I was saying he's just really the perfect boyfriend right y'know

cause he's already your best friend and you guys aren't awkward and you can trust him and tell stupid jokes to each other

but also Richie has a soft side (fight me on this)

tells you stupid pick up lines, gets you little gifts and flowers, always spoiling you with little things like that

is SOOO into pda but only if you're comfortable with it of course

soft pecks: YES 

forehead kisses: MORE YES

hand kisses: BIG YES

hand holding: ALL THE TIME

hugs: EVERY DAY

always has to be touching you, sorta clingy but in a good way

especially after the events of IT, he is always nervous and always has to have his hands on you

because you got seriously hurt during the events of the Well House in the final battle

this poor boy thought you weren't gonna make it and was just so distressed

staying by your side at your hospital bed every single day without fail (not like he had many other people to be with)

crying silently into your hand when he was alone 

but when you woke up he was so happy he started to cry more

showers you in kisses and cries to you about how scared he was about you leaving him and his nightmares about the clown from the sewers

slips the big L-word while rambling without even realizing it

and even though you guys are young you knew that you felt the same way, but would save that conversation for later

when your nurse walks in to check on you she finds you and Richie asleep on the tiny hospital bed, cuddling

his head was on your shoulder and your hands were threaded through his long black hair, that was pretty greasy but you didn't mind

his glasses fell off a while ago and cracked but neither of you really cared

Richie practically living with you after his household becomes too much so he's just always over

him always acting like an angel when he's around your parents and them actually loving him and basically adopting him

him wanting your parents to think he's a good influence because all of his other friend's parents despise him for some reason

OMG SLEEPOVERS 

your mom and dad wouldn't think much of it before agreeing like once a week since you used to have them all the time when you were younger and before you were dating

you two making out in your room and Richie being really nervous because "what if they just come in?"

(they never do anyways)

doing dumb karaoke sing-alongs to songs like africa and bohemian rhapsody

MOVIE MARATHONS

would usually consist of multiple star wars movies and stupid romcoms that your mom has a stash of

groaning at all the cheesy scenes even though they were exactly like the two of you in real life

cuddling on the couch and sharing a blanket awwww

him feeding you popcorn as you're watching the movies AWWWW

you guys eventually tire yourselves out and sleeping on the couch LIKE JUST SO GODDAMN CUTE WOW

you guys go to your first school dance together

Richie bicycles to your house and makes sure to bring you the nicest bouquet of flowers not so much money could buy

he was for some reason so nervous, like his palms were sweating as he rang the doorbell, and was constantly smoothing down the one regular white button-up shirt he owned

when he sees you in your cute little dress with your hair done in little curls and the small amount of makeup your mother had done for you, he felt like he was gonna faint

how did he get so damn lucky like... SERIOUSLY

little did he know you were thinking the exact same thing as you smiled brightly back at him

you guys had an absolute ball, dancing all night like crazy people, not even caring about the popular kids at school judging you

slow dancing at the end of the night to put your head on my shoulder and it being really sweet

him kissing you at the end, and even though it's still awkward middle school kissing it was just the best thing ever

"I sorta think I may be in love with you"

"I know, you told me last month" 

going into highschool still strong as ever just POWER COUPLE

still being nerds and bullied a lot but also everyone wanted to be you cause your relationship together was PERFECT

you guys had one small fight in junior year because of some nasty freshmen were trying to get him to ask them to prom

the poor boy was absolutely oblivious and didn't know what was happening until you started yelling at him

you guys break up during the summer but just before school starts he shows up at your door with a big teddy bear, a bog full of chocolate, a handpicked bouquet of daisies, and a very practised apology

you couldn't help but run into his arms again

you went through everything in life together after that, graduation, college, getting jobs, finding a place to live, and eventually getting married and having a family together

you guys have one little girl named Annie and she's just so perfect

her being such a daddy's girl and having Richie wrapped around her little finger

Richie is the best dad imaginable, despite his not so similar upbringing, going as far as to play dress up and having tea parties with his little girl

living in a cute apartment together in new york, where Richie worked as a radio host for one of the biggest stations in the country

your loves being complete and everything was just how it was supposed to be finally

well, that is until you guys get the phone call from your childhood friend Mike

when IT comes back Richie insists you don't come with him back to Derry, saying that you had to go watch the Annie while he was away

you gave up after a long few days of fighting over it

never being able to sleep since whenever you closed your eyes all you could see was that stupid clown hurting your husband

always keeping Annie close to you all the time and never letting her leave your sight, even though you no longer lived in Derry, or Maine even and there was technically no threat towards you guys

when he gets home you've never been happier in your life

taking Annie to the airport to pick him up and running into his arms when you finally see him, your little girl in your arms as well

"It's over now, it's gone for good this time"

you guys grow old together, and are both really happy and love to recall useless memories from when you were children and everything turns out great

wow honestly I'm crying at this point

you guys are just so damn perfect and everything is perfect I love this 

okay sorry I'm done now have fun

~~~

TAGS:

Permanent: @phonegalhelp @caswinchester2000 @gwenebear @morganvanilla

Let me know if you want to be added to a taglist!

[danganronpa-tng]

Underground Travels; Part 2

We walked for half an hour, according to my watch. (We woke up at around 7:30PM, it was 8PM now.) There didn't seem to be anything in the tunnel, so we were just walking with seemingly no aim.

“Do you think we’ll be out of here soon?” I asked. William shrugged.

“Dunno. Hopefully!” He said. 

“Th-that’s fair.” I replied.

As we kept walking, Kailyn stopped, squinting.

“Hey, hey Boys. See that?” She pointed forward. I looked forward and saw a small light a bit in the distance.

“H-hey, there’s the end..! Let’s go!” I said, speeding up a bit despite the aching in my legs. We all made our way there, finding a door cracked open a sliver. A room lay inside, which we walked in to.

“What is this room?” William asked, looking around. The room had two doors leading off them, one labelled ‘Eagle Eye’ and the other labelled ‘Precision’.

“No clue...” Kailyn said, walking up to one of the doors. Eagle Eye.

Before she reached it though, something fell out of the roof. Or rather, someone.

“Hahahahahaha!! Welcome, you fucks, to the Challenge Chamber!” They exclaimed, cackling. I stumbled back with a yelp.

“Wh-who are you?!” I asked. William put a hand on my shoulder.

“I, you unfortunate unclefucker, am Nerezza Enoshima!! Self-proclaimed Ultimate Despair, at your service.” She grinned. Her teeth were oddly sharp. Kinda scary.

“U-unclefu-??”

“Now, glad you made it!! Me and the boss almost thought you wouldn't leave the room. Or hell, not even wake up at all!” She said.

“The boss? Who’s the boss?” Kailyn asked. She didn’t seem intimidated.

“None of your business, sweetheart. Besides, whoever survives is gonna have to figure that out themselves!” 

“What do you- ...whoever survives..?”

“Uh huh!! Sorry to tell ya, but only one of you is making it out of this place! Well, probably. Just guessing since, ya know, the challenges are hard as balls. Hehehe!” She chuckled, hands proudly on her hips. ‘She’s demented.’ I thought.

“Now, let me explain. Two of you are going to attempt a challenge first; one in Eagle Eye, and one in Precision. We’re gonna pick who doesn’t have to do it outta a hat, so good luck!”

She suddenly pulled a hat out of seemingly nowhere and stuck her arm in, moving it around until she finally pulled out a name.

“And the person who doesn’t have to compete issss... Ah, old unclefucker! Ryo Togami, you’re safe.” She said. Kailyn and William looked at each other somewhat nervously.

“So... what do we have to do?” William asked.

“Simple! Enter your room, complete the task, and leave! Simple as.”

“But you said it’d be hard?”

“Ohh, did I? Sorry, I have super short fucking memory!” She laughed again. 

“S-so what do I do..?” I asked, tugging at my sleeves.

“Well, you just wait for someone to finish. When someone does, go through their door and move on to the next challenge!” Nezerra said. I nodded slowly as she turned to the others.

“Now then, I’m gonna give you plebs the option of which room you wanna take each! Choose wisely, because you’ll both do better in one of the other.”

And with that, Nezerra left, locking the exit behind her. We all looked around at each other.

“So..?” William started. Kailyn looked at the rooms, then back at us.

“I’m thinking Eagle Eye for me. Sounds like something to do with good aim or good vision, and I have both.”

‘Right! And I need precision for surgeries, so that sounds good for me.” He said.

The doors clicked open, signalling they were ready. The two looked at each other, then Kailyn stuck out her hand.

“Good luck, William. May the best player win.”

William nodded, shaking her hand.

“And to you! No hard feelings either way.”

“Of course. Be ready to follow whoever wins first, Ryo.”

“A-ah, I will! Be careful, you two. G-good luck..!” I told them. They gave me a smile, before entering their rooms. 

Two screens came down from the roof, displaying two rooms; the ones with Kailyn and William in them. Kailyn’s room seemed to be aim, like she’d thought. William’s looked like an oversized version of Operation.

“Now, the game will begin shortly!! Kirigiri, your goal is to hit every target from the red spot you’re standing on. There’s a gun and ammo beside you. Just don’t shoot yourself, that’d be no fun!! And Tanaka, your goal is to remove every piece without buzzing! If you buzz, every piece returns and you start all over. Boo hoo! Now, 3...”

The two looked nervous.

“2...”

“Good luck, you guys...”

1! Begin!!”

The two instantly sprang into action. Kailyn loaded her gun quicker than I could follow and started firing, hitting a target or two. William instantly buckled down and got a piece or two out. They had a while to go though.

Nezerra walked back out.

“This is gonna be fun!” She said, smirking.

“N-no it isn’t! Is- are they gonna be OK?” I asked. She shrugged.

“Probably. I didn’t make the reward, I just made the game.”

“You... you’re Junko Enoshima’s child, right..?” I found myself asking.

“Kyahahahaha! Smart fucker, aintcha? Yep, that’s my mom. Not much of a mother though, I’ll tell ya that!” She said, totally nonchalantly.

...well, as nonchalant as she could be.

“D-do you have a dad?”

“Probably, but not like I know him. Mom slept around, you feel me? Never knew who dad was, and I don’t really care to either. I’m happy being demented on my own, thank you very much!” She declared.

‘Well, at least she knows she’s unstable...’

“Got any other questions? These fucks are getting boring, and I love talking about myself.” She asked. I hummed. I had made it my business to know about the other Ultimates my age, so knowing about another couldn’t hurt. Especially since she’s the child of someone so scary...

“Ok, well... you said you’re not the boss, right? Why not?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean, considering your mother, you seem the type to run something like this. Who would be able to control an Enoshima?” I asked. She smirked.

“Good question, nerd. Well, my mom can’t exactly do despair’s work anymore, because everyone already left the sum, yeah? And besides, she’s getting old. So when she noticed this person one day just writhing with whatever the real life version of despair is, she sent me to go... well, slip ‘em an idea. So, they agreed to run it as long as I helped. I agreed, obviously. This sorta shit is fun!” She explained. Kailyn continued firing on screen as I heard a buzz from Will’s side. He didn’t seem deterred though, as he simply restarted and continued.

“Goodness...”

We didn’t say anything else for a bit. I continued watching the screens in fear, because the Enoshima family always spelled trouble. After a while, I sorta zoned out. I had to wonder where the exit led. Where would we end up? It was an unusual thought that kept me wondering for a bit, trying to think of anything that could have told me where we were. Were we at some weird version of Hope’s Peak? That couldn’t be possible, right-

“Done!!”

I snapped my head up to see William standing triumphantly, every piece beside him. Kailyn froze, obviously having heard. Her gun clattered to the ground.

“I... I see.” She said. “Well, good match William-”

As she was talking, four sorta pipes with clamps on the end came out of the walls, grabbing her by her arms and legs. She let out a small yelp before closing her mouth.

“Kailyn!! Nezerra, let her go!!” I cried. Nezerra shook her head, smiling.

“Nuh-uh! Congrats, William! Your reward is life. For now, anyways!! And, Kailyn... your punishment is... well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Now, are we ready?!” She announced. 

“NO!” Me and William both cried, William looking around his room frantically.

Kailyn sighed, then looked up at her camera. She smiled softly.

“Well, it appears I’ve lost, mother. However, I am not a sore loser.”

The clamps stretched her a bit more, making her wince.

“T-to the... v-victor go the... the... spoils...”

*Pwish!*

*Splat.*

The last I saw was Kailyn’s limbs being torn from her before the camera was splattered with blood. I screamed, falling backwards and onto the ground.

“Kailyn!! Kailyn!” I yelled, grabbing my head in my hands. I hadn’t known her for that long, but she’d been my friend. And seeing her die like that was... was absolutely horrific.

“Hah, pussy. This sorta thing is normal for me! Anyways, I’ll unlock those doors for you now, Willy! See you in the next challenge, boys.” And with that and a laugh, she left again, William’s door unlocking. William, as soon as he got out, ran over to me.

“Ryo! Hey, Ryo, hey! It’s gonna be OK, I promise. Come on, breathe.” He told me, rubbing my back as I sobbed into my hands. “Come on, breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven and exhale for eight. Yeah, that’s it.” 

I did as he said, still crying but steadying my breathing. After a moment, I was kinda calmed down.

“K... Kailyn...” I murmered helplessly. I should have gone in there instead. Maybe if I had, she could have survived. “This is all because of my rotten luck. Of all the talents to have...”

“Hey, hey no... None of this is your fault. It’s that stupid girl’s. It’s gonna be OK... she isn’t trapped here anymore. She’s free now, and we will be too soon.” He told me. I sniffled and nodded, sitting up a bit.

“I-I... thanks, William... how are you so g-good at comforting..?” I asked.

“A lot of people get emotional over pets. I’ve gotten used to comforting people.”

“A-ah...”

After a moment of silence, he stood up and offered me his hand.

“Come on. Let’s go get some revenge for her.” He told me, smiling softly. It was oddly comforting, honestly. I nodded, taking his hand with a shaking hand and standing up.

“Ok... l-let’s go.”

(End of Part 2...)

[kneelbeforeclefairy]

Me vs my father in the enjolras is javert's son Les Mis AU that is my life

So. Me. 28. THIS close to her master's degree. Liberal. Socialist. Mixed kid. New Yorker. Just got home from living on her own in Greece. Been living away from parents for seven years. Queer. ADHD . Rsd. Imposter syndrome. Bad at rejection. Torn between two parents who are STILL fighting for me.

Living with Father because who picked the year of the coronavirus to give up her life .62. Barely completed high school. Said Regan was the best president he lived through. Trump voter. New Yorican who doesn't understand the world doesn't see him as white. Conservative who moved south and got worse. Blue lives matter dude. Not Batman.

Will not STOP. Provoking me.

It started with him mentioning you can't get aunt Jemima syrup any more because....you know . Me saying yes you can. The brand firs of all hasn't rebranded itself yet. It currently is still aunt Jemima and the packaging hasn't changed, still widely available. It's just going to rename itself. Get told no it's not "you can't do that any more." interrupted. Get to squeak out the bit about its gonna be the same recipe just called something else. Auntie J maybe. I think that's a good syrup name. He laughs and says it's gonna be BLM syrup.

(and you know what I find that trivializing but if that's what they wanted to name it who cares.)

(more context. His grandfather was black. He told me about being told as a kid by his father that little brown boys just say yes sir to the police. He got The Talk)

And then it goes to Porgy and Bess. Porgy and Bess is on so we watch it. All of us enjoy it thoroughly. He says "isn't this racist? What's the difference between this and aunt Jemima?"

Me.....

I have to get this information put as fast as possible . He's not really listening. He doesn't care. He's not asking . He doesn't find them both genuinely racist. He just....seems to want to catch me out. I try to explain. Porgy and Bess DOES Have some problems. But it was written in 1935 and was one of those Fair For It's Day things. Launched the careers of a lot of black classical singers. Still does. Some charecters might be a little sterotypical (Sportin Life did not age well) but in the hands of a good production and a good actor depth can be found. Rewrites have been made.

But I don't get to SAY any of these things. I try. I, well spoken, bordering on eloquent, stumble through a few poorly thought out points about interpretation and employment and he didn't see the difference between a classical singers playing Bess at the met and being well payed singing beautiful music and even if the roll is somewhat sterotypical and a product of it's times, through a good actress can become a wonderful three dimensional role, or at least no less than any other opera heroine and a poor black woman playing a completely one dimensional mammy sterotypes to sell syrup to enrich white people while playing off their own created nostalgia for oppression of the black race cause I WASNT PREPARED FOR FUCKING WAR OVER PORGY AND BESS. He just asked the questions. I'm on the defense. I've never even SEEN it before. I'm not ready to defend it. I didn't know I was going to have to. Hell, I'm not sure if it IS racist or problematic yet, we're 15 minutes it. He seems to know why I'm watching it at all if I'm so sensitive that a syrup name must trigger me.

He's not concerned it IS racist. Just seems to want to catch me in inconsistancies. Why do you watch this but you want the syrup renamed

(I didn't bring up the syrup. We were talking about the difference between brands in the north and south. He just brought up the fucking syrup and said it wasn't there any more. By the way. It is. I saw it in the fucking Kroger. And I literally do not care about the name of syrup. it's largely symbolic sure but if they want to rename themselves because yeah totally cringe history that's their business. Fine. It literally does not affect me. The recipe is there I'm just gonna call it aunt j or whatever)

And then this morning when I showed him a picture of the Alexander the Great statue o took on Thessaloniki

(masters degree in macedonian history/archeology, me)

He says

He SAYS

"I'm surprised they haven't taken that down."

In this stupid sing song way.

(like obviously this statue thing is an American thing with some England thrown in. I don't know much about Greek politics but I'm PRETTY FUCKING SURE they weren't invovled in the American transatlantic slave trade or the age of exploration my dude)

But he says "it's imperialism isn't it?'

Me "well yes but..."

"he conquered the world didn't he? Did he or did he not conquer the world. You think he did that by being nice to people?"

"well you'd be surprised how much alliance building and diplomacy was used but yes but--"

"so how's it different? Did he conquer the world? Did he own slaves?"

"actually probably not as macedonia wasn't really a slave society and the Persians DEFINITELY didn't have slaves"

"well I just think it's the same"

(frustrated. Can't show emotion or he wins. Already cracked a few days ago when he was talking about a cop iniured by "the mob" and COULDN'T because how many of my people were injured by them? And had to tell him to stop. Told he wouldn't talk politics. Does the above count)

Me. Lightly. "You're unable to grasp nuance. And you're just trying to provoke me"

Something happens. Subject changed. Did I win? Did I lose? We're always battling.

Thing is.

Yes.

There is an INCREDIBLY subtle and nuanced discussion to be had about imperialism in general and its effects and how even ancient imperialism effects us to this day. And how we view warfare and conquest in general and the stories we tell. I would argue Alexander was great because of his kindness, the cultural exchange he sparked, his clever tactics , his mastery of grand strategy, his diplomacy, his ability to use image, and only last his undefeatedness in battle. But I wasnt the one who called him Great, to whoever that was it was about the war. There is A LOT about Alexander and his affect on Persia,which, while we shouldn't layer modern politics over it (especially race based one. Yes Alexander was Caucasian but WHITENESS didn't exist then and Persia was the sophisticated empire , Greece was tiny and insignificant. It's just that Greece wrote the story and got to paint them as barbaians but it has nothing to do with race and they REALLY REALLY WEREN'T and even the Greeks knew that) did destroy an empire and affects the region to this day. Persian perceptions of Alexander are obviously not as kind, and equally important.

So yes there is a discussion to be had about that. And why we venerate a man who did kill thousands and why, I would argue, he still is a very good person who, despite his faults, does deserve that statue.

But we weren't having that

We were playing gotcha.

Cause even if he Couldn't grasp the difference between Alexander the Great, who yeah, totally did sell thebans into slavery in a system that attributed slavery to bad luck and if he had lost would have expected the same treatment to anyone who was not killed,and Confederate generals who thought and entire race was inferior due to their birth, fought for their continued enslavement, committed treason to the country he loves SO much, and LOST, and were memorialized in stupid statues by a bunch of sore loser white supremacists in an attempt to rewrite history to turn what could have been and should have been an Embarrassing chapter in a regions history that should have been healed from into the DEFINING THING about that area despite lasting onl five years and still the symbol of pain and murder to a large percentage of our population within VERY CLOSE TO LIVING MEMORY that has affects that are still here in a very real way because *gestures vaguely at everything* and have caused riots TWICE in your lifetime because it hasn't changed has it and also YOU'RE NOT SOUTHERN and why do you care?

Then I'm not sure what to say.

I don't know what he wants. He wants me catch me out? Debate the liberal cause they're so stupid ? Vent frustration at the liberal because fox news tells you to hate them? His way of processing Something he doesn't understand? Men can't ask for directions? He wants me to argue him, some nerd version of beating the old man at basketball? He feels inferior to his kid so he's gotta put me in my place? A nerd version of not letting the kid beat you at basketball? Test me? Make me prove myself? Make me represent all liberals so he can win?

I don't know what he wants. But I'm SICK OF IT.

And I'm sick of being torn between the mother who is frightened and overbearing and the father who seems to want to always make me keep up.

And I cant

Deal

With

Conservatives

Any more!

[mentalcurls]

3.  Una festa in cui nessuno ti vuole

Here we go, my thoughts on episode 3 of season 1! Finally the whole girl squad is together and out there having fun. The topics I’ve managed to ramble about about this time are double standards, fandom, Mom friend™ Giovanni Garau and the mysterious Francesca Mirabella, as well as the results of the Bechdel test for this episode  ✌🏻

“Eva, mi guardi?” was the precursor to “Martino, guardami Martino!”

Gio really doesn’t get it. He keeps saying he’s doing things for Eva, when actually he does them to appease her so she won’t bust his balls, so he’s doing them for himself

Cerami and Bea sound exactly like all couples of middle schoolers I knew when I was in middle school myself. The shoes thing especially. It’s hilarious.

I understand Gio’s frustration with Eva, I do, cause it’s hard being the only point of reference for a person when you have a much more diverse social life. I’ve been on both sides of their situations actually. When Gio says “Couldn’t you try to make some friends?” I know his intentions are good, he’s coming from a place of wanting happiness for this girl he’s in love with, despite being frustrated with her just then; but I also understand Eva a lot, the feeling of isolation, of not knowing what to do or who to turn to because everyone just seems too distant or too busy with their lives (and of course there’s some condescension there too, cause she’s a teenager, she’s got standards, especially since she was popular before fighting with Laura), and the frustration she must feel, because it’s not just Laura ostracizing her, she made scorched earth around Eva for several degrees of acquaintances; and I’m 100% sure that deep, deep down Eva is a bit angry that she had to bear most of the brunt while Gio came out of the situation unscathed

Eva’s disdain for her classmates who like manga and k-pop wounds me deep into my fangirl heart, not because I’m specifically a fan of those things myself, but because she’s using those example to say they’re loser nerds because they have that strong passion for those things, the same passion I am, as a matter of fact, pouring over Skam Italia and Eva’s own story right now. Plus she’s basically shitting on fandoms included among those mostly made up of teen girls and LGBTQ+ people, so there’s that. Are you a fangirl of anything, Eva? Do you know what it means to fell such a pull towards something, a book, a movie, a song? Have you ever felt it? Do you know how nice, how rewarding being a part of fandom is? How fun? My wish for Eva at the end of the season, for when she decides to focus more on herself, on understanding who she is, is actually to get in one of those fandoms she seems to dislike, cause it’s a wild ride, yes, but it’s also an opportunity to learn so much about other people, places, worlds, and ultimately about yourself.

“Eva, it’s nice to be around you. Maybe you forgot, but when someone is around you, it feels nice. Trust me.” And this I think is the first real taste of that Mom friend™ Gio we’ve come to know and love in season 2, that protective, supportive, loyal person who gives good advice and just knows how to lift your spirits. This could have 100% been a conversation he had with Marti in S2, if Marti had been feeling insecure after he pushed everyone away. More importantly, this could 100% be something Gio tells Nico at any point ever in which he’s feeling low. Can you imagine that? Oh my God. Especially with the joke about smelling afterwards. (Aaand I made it about S2 rather than about Eva. Ops.)

poor Eva, she tries so hard. Too hard, in fact. If instead of that whole three-messages-and-a-sticker explanation she’d just gone “*Hey” it would have made her cringe less at herself and it would probably have prompted more of a response from Ele. I understand the panic though.

those theatre kids look just like the twins from “The Shining”! The girls is even wearing light blue like them! And they walk in sync and call Eva’s name repeatedly and ask her to come act in a play with them! OMG, LudoBesse’s mind, honestly.

Ele is so bad at fake crying, really. And the fact that theatre guy, a person who’s supposed to know something about acting/pretending, falls for it kills me.

Evanora for the win, honestly, look how cute they are together. I mean, Ele definitely looks pretty smitten here, immediately noticing Eva from afar, making her smile and reassuring her in a roundabout way about her fumble on Facebook a few days before

poor Gio, the Anglo-Spanish War is kind of a bitch, though to be fair the only things about it history professors usually care about are who was ruling those countries and the Invincible Armada; the Thirty Years’ War is much more interesting (defenestration of Prague, anyone?)

how cute is Silvia??? BRB going to throw myself into a volcano

Gio and Marti doing the parent thing over Eva like Gio and Elia will do in S2 over Marti himself

then Martino catches Federica’s eye and we have the infamous spoon scene; Fede sort-of-pretends-to-fellate the spoon and Marti looks away, embarrassed and uneasy. I love how Skam (both the og and Italia) have taken the trope of the guy ogling the girl from afar (or not so afar) and her feeling uncomfortable under the attention, and have reversed the gender of who’s looking and who’s looked at.

What I don’t like is how it’s framed, in the shots and in the discussion between the characters, like it’s creepier than most of the stuff boys do to girls during the series (I’m thinking especially of guys at parties in general and of the Villa boys). The vehemence Martino uses to express his discomfort over Federica sexualizing him and making her interest evident is basically the same with which the girls react to finding the tally on the wall behind the boys’ bathrooms. This would kind of be fine, despite the fact that the two things are imo on different levels of disgusting, if it was discussed somehow that boys doing disturbing stuff are considered normal, just hormonal teensagers, but when girls do a fraction of the same thing they’re demonized, considered really weird and too horny. There’s no discussion of the double standard and that’s what bothers me.

Something else that would have been interesting to explore, maybe not with Marti, but later with possibly Chicco Rodi, since we see Fede talk to him at a party and even kiss him (if I remember correctly) is the follow-up from that trope: the guy usually goes up to the girl and makes a comment and she turns him away, but oftentimes after he insists a while she concedes and she ends up dancing/going out/going home with him. Which is a shitty thing that happens in a lot of media. It’s actually kind of what happens with Edoardo and Eleonora later. And it would have been super interesting to see Fede doing the ogling thing (which would have never been as rude, graphic and uncomfortable as guys can get, anyways), being turned down, then actually getting her way, and what kind of reactions she’d have from the guy and from the girl squad.

Martino is such an asshole! Silvia obviously extends her invitation to him and Gio out of politeness because they’re friends with the girl who helped her in a bad situation, she doesn’t know them and she was not obligated to invite them along. And while Gio manages to keep an appearance of politeness, Martino straight up mocks Silvia who’s been nothing but nice and enthusiastic towards Eva. That, in my book, is even worse than the two boys being their unsupportive selves yet again and telling Eva to get new friends, then not helping her make some. And that’s such a boys thing, honestly, to spot a problem and tell others to solve it but not help along!

and Silvia is so nice, she’s so good at driving the conversation along, keeping track of the social cues: she feels Eva doesn’t agree with the guys, so she extends her invitation again, then elbows Fede for some support, but she just makes things awkward so Silvia has to smooth things out, then she invites Eva again and is finally able to make plans, but she still has to diffuse the situation when she sees the boys are uncomfortable with Fede’s suggestive actions. So much emotional labour for just one conversation. Thankfully Eva helps her along a bit, cause no-one else does.

by the way, I totally understand and share Federica’s kind of humor and I love her

Marti’s face at Fede’s joke about psychotropic drugs though. Completely blank, just for a second.

I think it’s telling, though, that Federica is one with the weird actions and the weird humor nobody gets, because she’s the fat girl, so she gets pigeonholed as the comic-relief character: she does whatever comes to her mind, she doesn’t seem to pick up on social cues and she’s there mostly to make the other characters laugh or to make them look more refined, more clever or to say how cool they are; sure, she’s a good friend who stands up for Sana and Eva when it’s called for but her character could be way rounder

oh, guys. Marti and Gio’s reaction as soon as Silvia and Fede are out of earshot, it makes my heart bleed. The mocking, the casual fat shaming, the way Martino looks absolutely disgusted about that girl showing an interest in him

Ele acting aloof and dismissive of Silvia is not my favorite thing, I mean, I get not liking a person from the get go, but for God’s sake, come up with an excuse or something, there’s no need to be so blunt when she’s just inviting you to a party

you can actually subtly see Ele kind of relax when Fede arrives, she’s obviously much more her speed

and of course we have Sana, scathing Sana, picking up on Silvia’s racism straight away and calling her the fuck out but diffusing the situation with humor anyways

Silvia is looking for cool girls to make her own group since she’s been more or less kicked out of Laura’s; Silvia probably used to be the popular girls in her class, but Laura has taken that role from her, first integrating with Sara in Silvia’s friend group, then “overthrowing” her, despite only being in her class a few months, given that the transfer from Succursale, when Laura, Eva and Gio’s class was separated into groups that were merged with pre-existing classes, happened the previous September

(btw, Eva, Gio, Marti and Elia are in 4B, Ele in in 4A, so Silvia, Fede, Laura and Sara are in another class; Sana is probably in yet another class; and Luca could be either in the same class as Ele, as Silvia and Fede, as Sana or in another completely different class)

Eva hasn’t picked up on Silvia’s desperate desire to be one of the cool people yet, and Eleonora hasn’t explained it to her either? Pffft

OMG Silvia has an older sister???? I completely missed that the first time around! Hi Francesca Mirabella! You seem to be older and popular since you get into Villa guys’ parties, so you explain so much about Silvia

Ele has been at Kennedy high only for a month, so she might not know yet who the most popular people are yet, I can get behind that; but Eva? After 7 months? Not having the perception of the internal hierarchy of her school? Girl, please.

Eleonora dubs Edoardo “faccia da cazzo” and “capelli di merda” right away 👏👏👏

on the other hand, Sana seems to know the social hierarchy of both the school and her year very well, probably because she absolutely needs to in order to avoid at least some of the discrimination

Sana clearly has plenty of ideas about how to be popular, but she’s much better at preaching than at doing; Silvia wants to be liked by everyone, probably because of some complex she has about being in her sister’s shadow, but her solution is to be at the same time judgemental and a pushover; Sana’s brutal honesty and “advice” is meant more to hurt than to help Silvia become a better, more genuinely likable person; Sana’s probably lashing out because she was hurt by Silvia’s behaviour towards her

Federica is so clearly the comic relief in this scene, not one of her lines pushes the conversation along plus she acts like she’s completely oblivious to the tension between Silvia and Sana

yas for Eleonora who has the common sense to actually look for an alternative solution since they’re obviously not going to Martucci’s party, I like a practical girl

even at the club, Sana shows diffidence until the girls (probably Ele with some help from Fede) pull her in, drag her away from the bar so she can take selfies and dance with them; is she uncomfortable? Is she just trying to act cool? Is it a defense mechanism? Is she trying to keep away so people won’t look weirdly at the girls because they associate with the “terrorist”, is she afraid someone will say or do something?

seeing the girls dancing and having fun like gives me such a nostalgic feeling for those few (because I’m a really self-conscious motherfucker) parties in high school in which I was really able to have fun with my friends

Bechdel test: the episodes passes the test, with flying colors I might add, since there’s the conversation between Eva and Eleonora in the corridor after the theatre guys leave; Silvia thanking Eva and inviting her to the party; the whole scene with the girl squad in the courtyard, both when it’s just Ele and Eva, when Silvia arrives, when all five girls are present and when Sana leaves; finally, the first part of the conversation at the Baretto, when they’re talking about the party, then Edoardo is mentioned and it stops passing the test.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Kitchen Dancing

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Valentines Day is near and Y/N’s had a rough week. All she wants to do is let off some steam. [FLUFF]

This was requested in an anonymous ask. 

Word Count: 2,837 - One Shot

The playlist was very important in this, so I thought I’d share. 

PLAYLIST

“Are you sure I can’t just kill this asshole?” Bucky spoke into his comms as he effortlessly climbed up the fire escape and started jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Despite his large stature, his jumps and movement were completely silent.

“Fury says we need this man alive.” Steve confirmed.

“And don’t flatter yourself, Barnes.” Clint chimed in on the comms. “If this were a simple sniper job, I’d be handling it…not you.”

Bucky smirked at the job, lifting his body onto the roof of another building that wasn’t even with the last one. “Oh, yeah? Is that a challenge?”

“Yeah. That’s a challenge.” Clint chimed back.

“Alright, Frosty. You’re coming up on the building. It’s on the 7th floor.” Sam spoke.

Bucky’s brow furrowed as he slowed his run and looked at the building across his street. “I looked at the debriefing and I’m positive it said 6th floor.”

“You just can’t take my direction, can you?” Sam snapped back.

“I can take it if it’s right.” Bucky retorted with a smile. Messing with Sam would always be fun for him.

Suddenly his comms were rustling with the sound of Sam and Steve arguing. The bits and pieces he caught made it clear that Steve was snapping at Sam for always giving Bucky a hard time.

“He started it!” Sam defended.

Bucky swore he heard Clint sighing and groaning in the background.

“Alright. I’m going quiet.” Bucky announced, making his annoyance clear. Then he pressed the button on the earpiece and it went silent.

He did truly believe that the report said 6th floor. But he imagined Sam had the mission report in front of him, unlike Bucky. So he shrugged his shoulders and backed up to get a running start to jump to the apartment building.

----

Y/N had another ridiculously terrible day. No, she had a terrible week. But Friday had finally arrived.

It had already started off rocky when her girlfriends canceled the dinner and bar hopping they planned for an early Galentine’s Day celebration. Y/N was sad she wouldn’t have a much needed girls’ night out. But canceled plans always gave her a sick sense of relief and knowing she could completely vedge out on her own was never a bad thing. Y/N didn’t mind staying in and binging a show or watching movies.

One of the perks of living alone was the lack or requirement to wear pants. She was also free to act like a total weirdo.

Y/N jumped out of the shower and put on an oversized grey sweatshirt that was ripped at the neck and fell off her shoulders. It made her feel like she was in ‘Flashdance’. She didn’t bother adding pants to the outfit, deciding just to put on black boy-shorts to wear underneath.

Y/N had a playlist for days like this: where she just wanted to dance and sing her heart out. She’d already tested the soundproofing of her walls time and time before. No one had complained about these kinds of nights yet.

Could Y/N sing? Absolutely not. Did that stop her? Never.

But she only let her lungs go free when there was no witnesses or any chance of someone hearing her.

Could she dance? She liked to think so. In fact, Y/N was convinced she danced even better when there was no one around to watch.

Y/N turned up the volume on her stereo and started skipping around for a warmup. She went to her fridge and tried to take inventory to brainstorm ideas for what to make. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw leftover Indian food that she had yet to eat. That’s when she decided that she’d make cookies real quick for dessert before heating up her leftovers in the microwave.

Y/N squealed in delight when one of her favorite songs started playing. She slowed down her singing, swaying her hips to the beat. Then her hand found the spatula and decided to use it as a mic.

She sang to her heart’s desire, not giving a crap about how awful she sounded. It was all so cathartic after such a bad week of work.

Making the cookies took twice as long with all of the singing and dancing breaks between steps in the recipe. But Y/N didn’t mind.

After a few songs, she slipped the tray into the oven and put a timer on. 

----

Bucky should’ve known something was wrong when he heard the music playing. But he kept moving and used the loud noises to his advantage when he slowly raised the window from the fire escape of the apartment.

Their mission was to bring in a retired arm’s dealer. He’d sold billions of dollars worth of weapons to countries with evil intentions. The man had been out of operation for years. But there were rumors he still had contacts in the world and the Avengers needed specific information about one of his old friends.

Bucky had the most experience with extractions. So he happily took on the solo mission.

Now here he was in full combat gear, with half a dozen knives hidden across his body, three handguns, 4 grenades, and a rifle in his grip. His target had a history of intense military training and Bucky had been warned that he wouldn’t get taken without a fight. So Bucky dressed for battle.

But it all seemed ridiculous when he stopped and took in the interior of the apartment.

“God-fucking-damn-it, Wilson.” Bucky muttered underneath his breath. It took him all of one second to put together that he was in the wrong apartment. This was the last time he let Sam give the orders, especially on stealth operations like this one.

Bucky was about to turn around and leave just as quickly as he arrived. But then he heard her voice and couldn’t help but be stunned and frozen in his place.

There was a girl dancing in the connected kitchen, singing as loud as she wanted.

Bucky’s heart thumped in his chest as he realized how beautiful she was.

Then his cheeks went red when he realized how inappropriate it was that he was standing there watching this girl while she thought she was in the comfort of her own home. She wasn’t wearing any pants and the oversized sweatshirt kept sliding further down her shoulder as she moved her body. Bucky felt guilty when he admitted to himself that he wouldn’t mind if it went a bit lower.

The girl clearly couldn’t sing. But her lack of care was what mesmerized Bucky so much. He couldn’t remember when he had relaxed and enjoyed himself as much as this girl was currently doing.

Where she lacked in singing, she made up in dancing. Her hips moved perfectly to the music and they were more controlled than most women Bucky saw at bars and clubs he was dragged to these days.

Bucky was brought of his hypnosis when his earpiece got brought back to life without his consent. Steve must have hacked it back on somehow.

“What’s your status, Bucky?” Steve asked calmly.

“That idiot gave me the wrong floor!” Bucky hissed in a whisper.

But his luck had run out.

Because as soon as he whispered, there was a lull in between songs and his voice was much louder than he intended. So much for being the world’s deadliest assassin.

The girl heard his whisper and whipped around.

To his surprise, she didn’t scream. Maybe she was too petrified to verbally react. Her eyes widened. The playlist must have been over, because another song didn’t come on and it left them in an awfully awkward silence.

Bucky couldn’t feel worse for this poor girl. He was standing in her living room with enough weapons to take out a small army. How on earth was he supposed to explain the situation to her?

But to his surprise, she was the one that spoke first.

“Look. I jaywalked earlier today. But fuck… I don’t think I deserve the Winter Soldier coming into my home to assassinate me.” She slowly held up her hands in surrender. Then her eyes glanced down as if she just realized she was just in her underwear. “If you’re going to kill me, can I at least put on some pants? I really don’t want my friends and family to find my body like this.”

If she really did think he was here for her, how could this girl possibly be making jokes?

Bucky blinked rapidly and completely lowered his gun. “I’m-I’m so sorry.” He stuttered. “I’m in the wrong place.”

Y/N lowered her hands now, convinced that he was telling the truth and really was in the wrong place. “I thought you were one of the good guys now.”

Bucky’s eyes went to her ceiling now that he knew his target was right above them. “I am.”

The reality of the situation seemed to finally catch up to her then. She smacked herself in the face. “God, you fucking nerd. The Winter Soldier just saw you dancing around and singing in your underwear like a total loser.” She muttered under her breath.

“Actually, I found it rather entertaining.” Bucky smirked.

Her jaw dropped, not meaning for him to hear that.

“Sorry again. But I got to go.” Bucky winked at her and slipped out the window.

Y/N was still standing in the same place with her mouth hanging open. Then she heard a heavy scuffle above her. If no one could hear her singing and dancing, she could only imagine the fight that was happening for it to be so audible.

A few minutes later, the shuffling stopped and she heard the sound of a helicopter far too loud for it to be at a normal height.

Y/N sprinted to the window and leaned her head out.

The helicopter was hovering just above her apartment building’s rooftop. It was too dark to make out the faces inside. But Y/N caught the moon reflecting off the metal arm of the Winter Soldier. He was hanging out the edge of the helicopter. It was dark and maybe she was imagining it, but Y/N swore he was looking down at her too.

She stayed put, watching the helicopter fly away. The oven timer finally broke her out of the daze and made her jump. She rushed to the oven and took out the pan. But then she stared at the cookies in front of her for way too long.

The Winter Soldier was just standing in her living room.

----

A few days later, Y/N was once again alone in her apartment. This time, she was wearing sweatpants and the music wasn’t blasting.

Instead, she opted for binge watching some TV.

It was Valentine’s Day, meaning she was trying to fight off any negative feelings that usually accompanied the holiday for single people.

Y/N was taking a sip of wine when she heard someone knock on her door. Her entire body tensed. No one could get into the building without buzzing her apartment first. It could be one of her neighbors. But they rarely knocked on her door, let alone at this time of night. She’d already ordered pizza, so it wasn’t takeout.

So Y/N slowly got off the couch and tiptoed to the door, making sure not to step on any floorboards that made noise. She finally made it to the door and looked through the peep-hole. She covered her mouth before a gasp could escape.

Not only was the Winter Soldier standing on the other side of the door, but he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

A part of Y/N wanted to sprint into her bed and hide under the covers. But another part, a stronger part, was curious enough to undo all the locks on her door. It looked like a different man than the one that had snuck into her apartment.

Instead of his combat gear and accessories of weapons, Bucky was standing in civilian clothes: wearing black jeans, combat boots, a white t-shirt and a motorcycle jacket. The outfit made him look even more handsome.

“Hi.” He greeted innocently.

“Hi.” She replied quietly. “Now are you here to kill me?”

Bucky couldn’t help but let out an awkward laugh. He scratched the back of his neck with the hand that wasn’t holding the flowers. “No, I’m not here to kill you.” Then he took in her outfit. “But I see you’re wearing pants. That’s good that you’re more prepared this time.”

Y/N smiled at his joke.

Bucky sighed. “I just came back to properly apologize. My teammate gave me the wrong floor. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I’m sorry for barging into your home. I’m even more sorry for scaring you.”

“I’m guessing you eventually got the right guy.” Y/N’s eyes glanced up at the ceiling. “Should I be concerned? Was there a meth lab above me?”

Bucky chuckled at her joke. “No. Definitely no meth lab. Just a dangerous, retired arms-dealer.”

Her eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m not.” Then he looked down at the bouquet. “I-I didn’t know how else to apologize. So I got these for you.”

“Wow. Buying flowers for a stranger on Valentine’s Day? The Winter Soldier really is as brave as they say.” But she took them regardless.

“Ha.” Bucky blushed. “Well, I figured you’d be out with your boyfriend. The plan was to leave them with an apology note if you didn’t answer the door.”

“Well…that was quite the roundabout way to ask if I had a boyfriend. But thank you for reminding me that I don’t. It’s not like the entire day hasn’t been filled with constant reminders.” Y/N replied with sarcasm so thick that Bucky couldn’t help but smirk guiltily. But she continued. “Which also explains my current attire and the two bottles of wine I bought for myself tonight.” Y/N laughed and looked down at her sweatpants and t-shirt.

Bucky nodded slowly and looked at the ground. He never expected to get this far so he didn’t really know what to do next. Y/N had dealt with him enough. He apologized now it was time to leave her in peace.

But while Bucky was going through this mental battle, Y/N was taking him in. She’d read the stories about him. Everyone had.

Yes, she was alone on Valentine’s Day. But seeing one of the world’s greatest heroes go to a complete stranger’s house to apologize seemed like a sign of loneliness. Y/N saw him shift his weight, rub the back of his neck again, and glance around the hallway.

She knew he was trying to figure out a way to leave. But she also couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t really want to.

“I’m guessing you don’t have any plans tonight either…” Her voice showed a new softness, the sarcasm completely gone now.

Bucky laughed embarrassingly. “No. I definitely don’t have plans. Just sort of wanted to ride my motorcycle around the city, to be honest.” He cringed slightly, like he just now realized that could sound pathetic.

“That seems really nice, actually.” Y/N smiled warmly. “Listen, I have a giant pizza that I’ve barely made a dent in and plenty of alcohol to share.” Was she really doing this? “Would you like to come in?”

“You went from thinking I was going to assassinate you to openly inviting me into your home.” Bucky pointed out.

“Valentine’s Day fucking sucks, okay? The longer I’m alone, the more likely I’m going to spiral down into a mess of self-pity. I’ll start thinking there’s a reason I’m single…that there’s something wrong with me. So really, you’d be doing me a favor by keeping my company.”

Bucky’s eyes seemed to brighten. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Then Y/N stepped back and opened her door wider. Then she laughed, “Oh, I’m Y/N by the way.”

Bucky closed his eyes in embarrassment. How could he forget to introduce himself? His mother was probably turning in her grave. “I actually knew that.”

Y/N looked weirded out. “You did?”

“Yeah, I made Tony give me the information on the building and apartment unit to bring the flowers. I saw your name. Don’t worry, I didn’t do a background check or anything. Oh god. I’m rambling.”

Her jaw dropped. “Tony…as in Tony Stark?”

Bucky sighed, utterly frustrated with himself. “Yeah. That one.”

Y/N tried to hide her giggle. His awkwardness was honestly endearing.

Bucky squinted. “Can we start over?” She nodded.

He held out his hand. “I’m James Buchanan Barnes. But you can call me Bucky.”

She slid her hand into his large grip. “It’s nice to meet you Bucky. I’m Y/N.”

“The pleasure is all mine, doll.”

-----

Thanks to the anon who requested this. I thought it was really funny and cute. 

And here’s that playlist again:

PLAYLIST

[dicecast]

End of Evangeline doesn’t know itself

     So a major theme of End of Eva is a giant “Fuck you” to Otaku culture and the Eva fandom in particular, and it is designed to strike directly at their creepy sense of entitlement, their insecurity, their extreme sexism, and their total spinelessness.  Shinji as the audience stand in is shown as basically a Gamergater, an insecure, shrill loser whose mass of insecurities make him impossible to be reasoned with and his internalized fear of rejection means that he can’t have normal relationship with people, in particular women.  Even the things he likes he destroys through his obsession and sense of ownership, such as when he masturbates to completion over the unconscious body of his friend who was wounded in battle.  It serves as a pretty good critic of Otaku culture and the entire creepy obsessive nerd fandom that surrounds it, and it is a really pointed response to the fandom who hated the original ending because it wasn’t a combat filled wish fulfillment fantasy.  So it is taking their self insert character and revealing him to be what the fandom is, a pathetic weakling who projects his insecurities on those around him rather than make any real attempt to face his problems directly.  Solid premise, and a nice way of calling out Nice Guy bullshit.  

Here is the problem....Shinji has never been a self insert character

(Pictured, not a power fantasy) 

     So the thing about Eva is that as much as people remember the weird existentialist shit, the vast majority of the show is....a pretty standard mecha anime (by which I mean its bad...its really bad).  It isn’t until the the show has to rewrite its own script and Ano has a mental breakdown that the show really starts to get interesting and actually worth a damn, but but most of the time it kinda is just standard.  The characters are bit better written than their arch type demands, but until the last few episodes Asuka, Rei, Misato and Ritsuko (all the other characters are terrible) are still very much their ‘role’, Asuka is still a Tsundere tough loud girl trope, Misato is the party girl/cool mom character, Rei is the quiet girl etc etc you get the idea.  They are better written than most, but they are still very much their arch type until the ending where suddenly they show their true selves.....

(once upon a time there wasn’t a standard trope)

     Except Shinji.  Shinji from the start stands out like a sore thumb in the whole process because...he isn’t an anime hero.  He really isn’t a hero at all, not in a moral sense, a mythic sense, or even a personal sense.  And he knows it too, I know the ‘reluctant hero” trope is a thing, but there is no protagonist ever who just wants to stay home and not go on an advnture as much as Shinji.  Now I hated the first episode of EVA....a lot, like I really really hated that opening episode, and if I wasn’t being paid I likely wouldn’t have kept going, but there was one moment where I kinda woke up and was like “huh.....thats....not what I expected’.  Which is when Gendo (aka worse character in the series) is like “You must accept your destiny” and Shinji is like “no”....not out of any moral sense or dramatic rejection, or even refusal of the call, but simply because he....is too emotionally depressed.  I mean compare this to Buffy, a character who is introduced Refusing the Call

   (Buffy, another main character who isn’t appreciated enough by the fans) 

 Buffy is rejecting the call but she is already a hero, and she is rejecting it for other responsibilities, and even then her desire to fight evil is just so strong she can’t stay home, she is a hero at heart who is just rejecting herself Shinji is not, Shinji is the least heroic person in the world suddenly being told he has to save the world and if he fucks up everybody dies.  

      Now remember, we don’t know who these characters are, we just met them but...when the fuck in anime does the main character be told out right that he is the chosen one and he has a destiny to save the world and the main character basically says “I am too emotionally unhealthy for this, please come back later”.   LIke the Refusal of the Call isn’t suppose to come until later in the story line, and Shinji is just so pathologically uninterested in being a hero that honestly....that was interesting.  Shinji gets a lot of hate but personally, for most of the show he was the one thing that kinda worked for me, the one character who was just so...not what the show wanted him to be that he stood out.  I mean lets talk about Shinji

(pictured...a power fantasy)

    Shinji is a deeply emotionally unhealthy sad person who has extremely low self esteem and has absolutely no spine, passively doing what other people tell him to do and basically living his life on an insecurity based auto pilot.  I think my absolute favorite scene is where it is shown that he practices the cello  every day and is asked if he liked it and he doesn’t have an answer.  And when asked why he practices, he is says he was told to practice when he was a kid so he he just does...this guy is just on inertia his whole life.  But the thing is, SHinji knows it.  He is acutely aware of his own failings, but has no sense of direction, will, or frankly audience to know what to do with it, and everybody around him seems to be either trying to use him, or is convinced that if he just gets more material rewards he doesn't’ care about he will get better on his own.  Instead he just becomes more and more insecure and avoidant until the last two episodes which are about him finally learning to value himself, at least a little. What is interesting about Shinji is that just kinda wants to...merge with the world around him (if you like the Enneagrams, Shinji is the Platonic 9 btw).  I mean that line “unfamiliar ceiling”, Shinji hates change, he hates disruption, he hates messiness, and he hates activity, and that is basically what his life is now, what SHinji likes to do is just kinda zone out.  And Singularity is actually...kinda appealing to him, its merging, its becoming one with a larger group, and losing individuality, and Shinji has been trying to give up on his own individuality since before the show started.  So his learning to acknowledge himself as an individual is the pivotal part of his story. 

     Ok, that’s nice and all, but other than my assertion that Shinji is the best character in the show and the internet is wrong, what is the point?  Well Shinji has never been a power fantasy self insert character, in fact that I think that is why people hate him so much, they want to have the fun mecha show and Shinji is there being sad.  I mean the argument against Shinji is always “stop being EMO and just do something already, you are piloting a mech what reason do you have to be sad’ but the thing is, what the audience wants to fantasize about and what Shinji want are just..opposite.  The teenage male audience is like 

“Omg, it would be so awesome if i could be the chosen one who gets to fight the big monsters and everybody thinks i’m awesome, and I live in a house with two hot ladies who are weirdly into me and often walk around without clothes and everybody at school thinks i’m cool and then I win and become the hero of the world, all by beating the shit out of things in a giant mech, ITS AWESOME”

and Shinji is like

“....why would anybody want any of those things?  Now i’m just sad”

(Shinji doesn’t like Mecha Anime and neither should you) 

Shinji’s existence is actively fucking with the power fantasy of the mecha anime, because what the audience is suppose to like he is indifferent too, he never enjoys any of the things that make up the power fantasy.  And that’s partly because Shinji doesn’t enjoy anything, but he really isn’t a self insert power fantasy character because he is just such a fucking downer.  So while I appreciate giving the finger to Otaku culture (trust me I do), personifying the audience fan base in Shinji is just...wrong.  Because Shinji already is a rejection of the audience, everything they want he rejects in favor of sitting in his room staring at the ceiling.  If Ano wanted to make that point, Shinji isn’t the tool to use it for, because Shinji isn’t what they idealize.  

   Which leads to the larger problem cause....Well, Shinji from the show just...isn’t Shinji from the movie, they don’t behave that way at all.  True Shinji (show) is deeply flawed, but he would never masturbate over somebody, even if he had the desire, he would chicken out and do it at home.  And while Shinji is a deeply fucked up person who does have issues with women, he never displays that kind of entitlement and sense of ownership towards his friends that he does in the movie.  Shinji is deeply insecure about sex yes and he does check out the women around him, but his response to that is mostly shame and self loathing (his response to fucking everything), not a sense of ownership.  Honestly, if anything, they claim ownership over him, Asuka clearly has a crush on him (its mutual) and actively pressures him into kissing her (he fucks it up because of course he does) and despite being his guardian, Misato actively hits on Shinji like....a lot

(erm...what)

     Honestly, its really uncomfortable, when you watch this show as a teenage boy its like “oh the hot grown up how is COOL and confident and hip and drinks, and is confident about sex is into you, holy crap” but looking back, its kinda fucked up, I mean Misato is his boss and guardian and unlike with Asuka, Shinji doesn’t seem comfrotable with how much he hits on her.  He checks her out and fantasizes about her cause he is like 14, but the dynamic obviously makes him uncomfortable, he is attracted to her sexually but clearly the power dynamic is weird also why the fuck is she hitting on a 14 year old, she is like 28 i mean come on.  My point is, that in the show, while Shinji does have a weird relationship to the women in his life and really should question some of his sexist assumptions, he isn’t the type of larval form MRA as shown in the movie, that type of naked aggression towards women as a group just isn’t shown as part of his behavior.  I mean Shinji can (and does) do many awful thing, but having an object of affection who he feels so possessive of that he attempts to strangle her in order to vent his frustrations isn’t in his character.  I mean in terms of violating people’s boundries and showing lack of care for their feelings...in the show that is mostly happening to Shinji.  I mean Misako and Asuka really never take his feelings into account about anything and while he does the same to them (again show Shinji isn’t a good person) he just wants to go to his room, they keep aggressively making him uncomfortable.  And i’m not saying they are bad (well I am kinda saying that about Misato) just that this isn’t a dynamic or mindset Shinji displays, he isn’t an aggressive Otaku fanboy seeking a power tribe or sex, he is a deeply disturbed person who wants to hide in his room.  

Movie Shinji is effectively an entirely new character, or rather it is Shinji being written wrong, in essence its like if the character Shinji was possessed by the desires and insecurities of the fandom rather than his own, so he has all of his passivity and cowardice, but over entirely different issues.  The emotional climax of End of Eva is the women in his life actively calling him out for being an entitled selfish person who expects women to fix his problems and blames them for not being perfectly clear with him about their intentions, women existing to suit his needs. Asuka in particular makes a point about how Shinji doesn’t even care about her because of anything about her, he just wants to go after her because he feels he has a chance and is too afraid of rejection to go after anybody else.  He snaps once Asuka calls him a coward, which is a direct fuck you to the Otaku fandom, people who are obsessed with stories about heroism but are in fact cowards themselves.  

(cough)

     Meanwhile in the show, Shinji already knows he is a coward, in fact he knows it so deeply and it is so internalized that he basically doesn’t function, and the message he needs to take is “yes, you are a coward, but that isn’t an absolute term, that can change.  Anything about you can change if you recognize that you can change it.  And most importantly, even if you are a coward, you can still love yourself.”   I am not being original when I say these endings are exactly the opposite, because Shinji is a different character.  And while I am totally fine calling out Otaku culture because its a fucking dumpster fire, the point doesn’t actually work because Shinji isn’t the character you want to use to deliver that message.   Shinji isn’t that fandom, so having him be their mouthpiece means that it comes off as incoherent rather than righteous.  

   And also.....Otaku culture’s relationship to women is really fucked up but lets be honest here, the screwed up sexual politics of EVA isn’t just the fandom, Rei, Asuka, and Misato are all extremely sexualized from the word go by the series itself, and there is a TON of fanboy-ism within the original show.  The Fans aren’t making this shit up, they are taking it from the show itself.  So it comes off as kinda hypocritical to call them out, even if Ano is entirely correct to do so.

      End of Eva is just like the original show, it has some solid points but the entire show is too much of an incoherent mess to really pull them off, and the subtext of the movie (The toxic and obsessive nature of Otaku fan culture leads to selfishness, bitterness, and destroying the thing you love) has nothing to do with the text (Random christian imagery and giant robots being eaten).  But the show worked better because its subtext was largely consistent, everything else in the show might be a mess, but Shinji from start to finish is the exact same sad sack he has always been, and the resolution hinges on him....not doing that anymore.  There is a consistent thread in an otherwise inconsistent show, and that is Shinji, as fucking......I can’t even say.

     This is why End of Eva doesn’t work, it doesn’t have a core to wrap its point around, and so it has all the terrible thing the show has, without the one thread to redeem it.  Trust me, it is much better to hear End of Eva summarized then seen, while I honestly recommend the last two episodes of the show to anybody (not the rest of the show necessarily).  I mean Eva is a mess generally, but the show at least has something it wants to say, while the movie is mostly just vomiting..emotions.

    Actually legit, you know how Shinji builds up anger all day long and then kinda vomits it out at random points (9)?  Yeah, I kinda feel Ano is doing the same, End of Eva is basically a temper tantrum and he is breaking all of his toys, this is slightly excused because the people who pissed him off are literally the worse but still.........End of Eva is basically an emotional breakdown on film, which is interesting but not enjoyable.  

[the-tv-ninja]

It’s a Long Road to Redemption, Kacchan

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/13625184/chapters/31285806

Summary: Deku followed Bakugou's advice and took a swan dive off the roof. Five years later they meet again and Izuku has a peculiar quirk that happens to be the hero's greatest weakness.

"How does it feel to be quirkless, Kacchan?"

(AU: Villain!Deku, Bakudeku).

Chapter 1: Long Time No See

Bakugou stares at the eyes of the villain, unable to believe the sight before him. There he is: the weak, quirkless loser he once took pleasure in tormenting until he drove him off the edge of a building.

The boy he thought long dead now standing inches away from him,

"Kacchan?"

The half-forgotten nickname does something funny to his heart.

He shakes his head frantically, refusing to believe the reality before him. Surely this is another nightmare, his own perverted imagination working overtime, trying to punish him.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Deku's lips stretch into a smirk, the small gesture clashing horribly with the haunted look on his face.

Bakugou bites his lip, still refusing to give into the illusion.

"I have." he mutters in the end, voice sounding foreign to his own ears.

There's a smack on his shoulder and he winces at it but more so at the cold, bony fingers that dig in.

Izuku leans in close and he has to avert his gaze so he doesn't sink into uncharted territory. Fluffy green curls tickle his neck as Deku's hot breath dances over exposed skin.

Katsuki looks away, taking in his surrounding as panic starts to crawl its way into his heart. Where the hell is he?

Slim fingers drum over his chin, as though to catch his attention,

"I'm so glad you're back!" Deku beams and for one short moment it's like they're four again and their entire life lies before them, rich with possibilities like the blue sky on a hot summer morning.

Then the grin is gone, morphing into a smirk that tethers on the side of something dark and wrong.

A small voice in his head, one that sounds oddly like his younger self tells him this isn't the boy he once knew.

"We'll have so much fun, Kacchan."

(Did he ever bother to know him at all?)

 xxx

 (Past)

At age fourteen Bakugou is nothing short of a natural disaster masquerading as a teenage boy.

There's power at the tips of his fingers and he makes sure the entire world knows it, all in the name of silencing his own demons.

Most people bow before him, cower in the shadow of his supposed greatness and settle for the comfortable position of his followers.

Then there's Deku.

A boy who was his friend once – a lifetime ago. Before they discover quirks and what they really mean, how divided society is because of them. A hero and a civilian – it seems as though the choice is already made for them.

Izuku refuses to learn his new place which according to Katsuki is nowhere. Despite being scrawny, weak and quirkless he still smiles and dreams and hopes and it pisses Bakugou off to no end.

He wants to trample over Izuku's strength and beat the smile off his pale face. Because… if a little loser like him can be so strong without any power behind his hands – who knows what he'll be like if he had one?

"Deku, you quirkless fucking piece of shit!" he screams at the boy one day, his fury exploding at the mere sight of his classmate, "When will you learn you'll never be a hero?"

Years later he doesn't even remember what provoked him, what little spark in those green eyes was the reason for him to ignite. (Did it have something to do with applying to UA?)

"K-kachan," Izuku stammers, holding his palms above his head, as if to defend himself, like a caged animal before its captor, "D-don't say that even without a quirk, I can-"

Everything about the boy infuriates Katsuki and the words leave his mouth on their own accord,

"If you want a quirk so badly, then you should just take a swan dive off the roof, and hope to get one in your next life!"

Time stalls and all he can see is the o-shape Izuku's plump, chapped lips make. He takes a step back, as though badly burnt.

Bakugou feels a sliver of bitterness somewhere deep in his chest but brushes it away, like a tiny speck of dust. Pleasure sprouts like a weed in his heart and he feels something sick and wrong yet delicious at the same time as he takes in the broken look flashing through wide green yes.

The expression on Deku's face remains sealed in his mind and it makes him lick his lips, thinking,

" Good, you finally get it, you're useless. Don't you dare follow   my   path."

(You might just beat me at it).

He turns on his heel and leaves, slamming the door of the empty classroom behind himself.

There's an odd sense of closure to the small gesture.

 xxx

His two loyal followers – never friends as friends stand for equals – dash after him and he can sense their unease trail behind like a bad smell.

"What!?" he snaps, annoyed at the worried looks on their chubby faces.

The school hallway is quiet and still, reeking of sweat and rules. In his memories it seems more like a figment of a dream than a real place – oppressive and suffocating, making him itch to run and never come back. He's about to leave when the two boys dare answer,

"You went too far, man!" one of them shakes his head, eyes round and glazed with fear.

The other nods, "I mean… you are childhood friends after all."

Anger sparks once more in his chest and travels up, "Who the fuck told you I was ever his friend?"

(Years later, as the memory plays on repeat he has to wonder if perhaps Izuku heard those words too and that pushed him another step closer towards the edge).

The silence in the small space between them is deafening as his classmates refuse to meet his gaze. He snickers, feeling equal parts disgust and boredom for those near him.

Small minds, purposeless extras to follow – that's all they are.

"Whatever," he grunts, more to himself, "Not like I fucking care."

And he doesn't. The most horrifying, disgusting part of the story – the one that haunts him the most late at night is how there isn't even a sliver of regret, not an ounce of care in his heart that day.

(That's why he thinks he should be the one among the League Villains, not the other way around.)

 xxx

Katsuki forgets about it, sharp words slipping past his mind, meshed in with all the other vitriol he spews at the world.

He goes on with his day, with his life completely unfazed.

Deku is nothing more than a little pebble along the way, one he has kicked far away, until it dropped in the lake and sunk all the way to the bottom.

(Just like whatever emotions the boy once evoked from him).

 xxx

Bakugou thinks little of the crowd surrounding their school or the ominous yellow tape tangled around the building. He rolls his eyes at some of his classmates' glossy eyes and red noses, muttering about,

"Stupid fucking cry-babies" under his breath.

It's the principal's voice that finally manages to tear him away from his own thoughts and catch his attention.

"Midoriya Izuku won't be attending anymore," he informs them, tone flat and cold, bearing more finality than Katsuki can fathom at age of fourteen, when everything seems infinite.

"So the fucking nerd chose to quit!" Bakugou snorts while the entire class turns to glare at him, as though he's committed a crime.

It's the first time in his life he feels reprimanded and unwelcomed and to his surprise he finds himself itching to make it go away.

The principal doesn't seem to hear his words, unmoving grey eyes focused on something far away. Suddenly there's a slippery feeling at the back of Katsuki's head, his fingers clammy around his pen.

"I am terribly sorry to tell you, but your classmate Izuku has committed suicide."

Katsuki isn't sure how to describe the effect the words have on him, even years later. It's as though the ceiling has come falling down, his carefully built world shattered to pieces.

He expects rage or sadness or anything really, any emotion to come to the surface and rear its ugly head at him.

None of it happens, he's left numb in the empty classroom, staring at the blank white board before him.

He remembers the weather for some reason –bright and sunny, warm light filtering through the windows and bathing the classroom in a melange of orange hues. He doesn't get up to leave when his classmates do, rather remains there and just stares, waiting for Deku to come back and tell him this isn't his fault after all.

 xxx

"Katsuki?"

The name sounds kinder than he deserves and he doesn't have to turn to sense the aura of worry around his mother.

Somehow she looks softer, as though all her sharp edges have been erased.

Mitsuki doesn't utter another word, just takes in his silence, squatting down next to him. He nearly winces at her closeness but steels himself not to. He doesn't meet her eyes.

"The school called," her voice trails away and he can feel a wandering hand above behind his back, "They told me…what happened."

Any other day he'd lash out, throw insult after insult, only to be met with the same. It's how the two of them work after all, just not today.

(Vaguely he has to wonder – what would his mum think of him if she knew? And rather – what would she think of herself to raise a little monster? He can't do it to her, he's ruined enough).

Bakugou doesn't dare look at his mum's face but can sense the hurt she emits, heavily mixed in with concern he hasn't earned.

It's then that another image flashes through his brain: Inko.

Finally he feels something, the previous numbness exploding, morphing into a sharp emotion he has no name for. There's a sob on his lips before he can stop himself.

"Oh, Katsuki!" his mother sounds urgent, like the time she set the kitchen on fire after a recipe gone wrong.

She's frantic and a little helpless, as though Bakugou is burning and she has no idea what to do.

He clasps his hand around his mouth so hard he can taste blood and yet the sobs still make their way past his lips.

"Shshsh," Mitsuki makes a strange sound of comfort, one he hasn't heard since he was a little kid, "I'm so, so sorry, Katsuki."

Two warm arms wrap around him and despite himself he lets the tears ruin her shirt, clinging onto her frame.

"I know you cared about Izuku, even if you never showed it."

The sudden realization downs on him: His parents don't know what he's done.

Neither does Inko. Nor will she.

To them he remains the chubby kid from kindergarten whose confidence was annoying at its worst but never something dangerous, never something that brought pain and destruction to those around.

His mother rubs lazy circles on his back and whispers words that sound clumsy and disconnected but sincere. Something wet trails over his uniform and it's then he realizes she's crying too.

"Mum…I'm sorry,"

It never occurred to him who Izuku was, what space he held in the hearts of those around him.

All Bakugou ever thought about was himself, the nuisance Deku was to him, never once stopping to think how much he mattered to Inko or his own mother. Mitsuki had held Inko's hand when her husband left and now… now she has to do the same, except this time her son is never coming back.

"He's at a better place now," she tells him, anything to soothe, to comfort.

All Katsuki can think is a simple, fatal,

" Because of me,"

 xxx

 (Present)

Next time Katsuki opens his eyes the red light of the sunset peaks from the small window frame and bathes the room in a palette of impending trouble.

He tries to free his hands but the only effect his attempts produce is his skin rubbing against metal until bloods starts to trickle down his fingers – hot and sticky like guilt.

Patience has never been his virtue and soon enough the anger simmering in his chest boils over,

"Fucking hell!" he screams, trashing in his restraints until he finds himself on the floor with a loud thud that echoes through the room. His face is met by the cold cement and all he can do it bite his tongue and scream profanities at the monotone walls of the cell.

The more rational part of him – the one that sounds an awful lot like his mentor– tells him to stop. He must calm down and think his way out of the situation before it escalates. What he can't do with his fists should be an easy task for his brain to complete.

Katsuki closes his eyes and takes a long breath – like Aizawa taught him – hoping it'll slow down the current of erratic thoughts so he can focus.

Blazing red eyes trail over his surroundings, taking in each detail. He finds nothing to go by, no trace to indicate his location. A plain cell, dull grey walls, no furniture safe for the toilet on the opposite end of the room. It reminds him of a prison, a place no hero should be held at.

At the back of his mind he realizes he's been abducted by the League Villains – again. Really, who does that?

The question that his mind begs to ask but he silences it anyway being: Is he really that suited to be a villain?

Does he even deserve another recue, another sacrifice on behalf of others for someone like him? After all he's done – what's the point of being saved?

"Screw all this," he grunts, forcing his eyes shut as he struggles to deal with the storm of emotions in his chest.

A small chuckle meets his words and he doesn't have to look up to know the man that stands above him. It sends shivers down his spine and suddenly he wishes he never woke up,

"So you still like to swear a lot, huh Kacchan?" Deku grins at him, setting a tray full of food on the floor next to him after unlocking the door a little too clumsily.

He hums quietly, drumming pale, skinny fingers over dirty concrete,

"Mmm, seems like you haven't changed all that much."

"Can't say the same about you," Bakugou snorts but the words never make it to his lips. It's because of him Izuku's entire life was flipped upside down to the point of him questioning his very being and taking a leap of faith off the school's rooftop.

"Didn't know the League Villains offered fucking room service these days," he barks, like a dog who's been denied a threat.

Midoriya flashes him a grin and it's the first time he takes it upon him to study the man.

Deku looks the same way he did five years ago yet at the same time completely different. How that's possible is beyond Katsuki's vivid imagination. He's taller naturally but still much shorter than him and on the skinny side. His face appears the same – all freckled cheeks and plump lips, soft edges that remind him more of a character in a fantasy than someone real.

Then there's a scar, right over his right eye. The lines of it are jagged, the skin a peculiar mix of pale pinks and angry reds. Vaguely Bakugou realizes that's the place his skull must have cracked when he hit the ground. The very thought of it makes him dizzy with guilt and regret so he chooses to bottle it all down.

Deku's hair is the same except it runs longer and wilder, mossy curls sticking out in all directions.

There's something inherently different, he just can't place his finger on it. It's not only the scar that mars his face.

Bakugou licks his lips, trying to find what it is, as though solving a game of "Spot the differences" in a magazine. It finally clicks –Deku's eyes are nothing like before.

Not the colour – it's still the same canvas of forest green, little specks of turquoise and gold here and there. Rather the expression –dull and lifeless, nothing left the previous excitement. There's a tint of sadness and exhaustion, clashing badly against the evident wish for revenge.

"Ah," Izuku picks a French fry from the tray, dips it in ketchup and puts it over his lips, "Well, you are after all a special guest of the League."

Fear curls its fingers around Katsuki's heart and squeezes,

"What the hell do you mean by that!?" he demands, forcing his voice to be levelled even as it rises unnaturally at the end.

Deku shrugs, the gesture almost innocent,

"Mm, we like to make the new recruits comfortable for the time being,"

Bakugou can't help the laughter that ignites somewhere deep in his chest and travels up to his lips,

"Doesn't your shitty boss get it?" he grunts, "I'll rather die than be a villain!"

Midoriya meets his eyes, green clashing over crimson. Katsuki struggles to look away but finds himself compelled, as though a strange force binds him to the other.

"Oh," Izuku's lips make a small o-shape, then stretch into a smile, one that appears sharp and wrong, "You're scared, Kacchan."

The nickname sends bells ringing in his ears, loud and clear even in the midst of his messy thoughts. A once soft pet name now sounds different and tainted. The fear is so strong in his chest it blinds him and so he goes to the only exit he knows from it– anger.

"Bullshit!" he screams, rattling in his shackles like a caged animal. He trashes and trashes until the pain in his wrists is so bad he has to stop, "I'll fucking kill you, all of you!"

Deku's eyes widen and something ignites in them, a speck of the former zest for life returning.

Laughter echoes through the cell as he starts clapping.

"See!" he exclaims, jumping next to him, so close they might as well be kissing, "See!? That's what I'm talking about!"

Katsuki's anger dissipates into the stale air of the room and he's left with is fear, dipped in with confusion. Deku appears to read his emotions with ease,

"Killing us?" he probes further, lips pulled into a sly smirk, "Mmm, that's not heroic, is it Kacchan?"

"Shut up!" the scream tears through the atmosphere but doesn't appear to affect Izuku who merely shakes his head.

"Mm, we aren't all that different, Kacchan," he muses, stretching out a hand and offering him a French fry.

The blonde turns away, refusing to be fed like an animal. Deku shakes his head, a tint of affection mixed in with nostalgia lacing the gesture,

"Still as stubborn as ever, I see."

He gets up then, taking the tray with him. His hand is already at the door when Bakugou finds his voice again, finally able to break away from the strange trance-like feeling he had when the other was close.

Midoriya plays with a stray curl, lips curling into something sad and wrong,

 "How does it feel to be quirkless, Kacchan?"

The words hit him harsher than any blow and Bakugou wants to scream. Scream and trash and destroy at the sheer irony in Deku's voice.

Problem is, he's powerless and all he can do is bark back,

"I already told you – you can all go fuck yourselves, I'm not becoming a villain."

Izuku turns around so fast the movement appears distorted. He smiles and it's the closest to the real thing he's seen so far,

"Yeah, you did," he agrees, offering a small pensive nod, as though running an analysis inside his head, "But back then I wasn't here, Kacchan."

Something cold wraps around his neck and he nearly chokes on the feeling. He can sense the threat, looming from the edges of the words. This doesn't even sound like the Izuku he knows, rather someone else entirely. Or is he just repeating the words of Shigaraki?

"What difference does it make?" he demands, tone angry and smug, even as he trembles.

Deku winks at him, the gesture out of place with the remains of innocence on his face, as though it's rehearsed,

"A world of difference," he tells him, "I promise you Kacchan, the things I'll make you feel…by the time I'm done you'll be the one calling yourself a villain."

Author’s Note: So! Here is the first chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. English isn't my mother tongue, so I apologize for any linguistic or grammatical mistakes. What do you think so far? Any guesses on what Izuku's quirk might be? There were some very subtle hints here and there but more information about that in the next chapters! Do you think Katsuki can pull Izuku away from the dark path? And is the other going to accept an apology? Please share your thoughts, it serves as great motivation!