#despite knowing each other for 500 years they could never connect that's the tragedy of it all!!

[cantarella]

imagine you have to pretend for centuries to be something you're not, pretend to be a god, thousands of lives depend on nobody finding out, and bc you were never taught how to be an adult or how to conduct yourself like a leader and guide a nation you rely somewhat heavily on this guy bc he's clearly more competent at it than you, who barely knows how to talk to others like someone in your position should

distantly you know he's isolated and lonely just like you, but you can't tell him that you understand bc you can't reveal yourself to anyone or it'll all fall apart. distantly you know you could help each other, that he could make this more bearable for you if only bc he would Know, but you can't bc he can't know and bc he can't know he thinks you're one of the deities he resents and you think he might even hate you

and maybe you started to resent him a bit too bc back then he couldn't see through you as he didn't know enough about humans nor gods, but he's catching up and it makes all this even harder since he's known you for so long. you can't tell him but you still rely on him bc you're out of your depth in this position you've been given without guidance, and you don't know if you can handle it alone, he's always been there after all. even if he might hate you and you resent him but not really and he can't know he's still there

and when it's all over and you can let go you run as fast as you can bc the memories hurt too much, you can't stay there you need to leave. and you think he's probably relieved you're finally out of his way, an eyesore reminding him of what his kind has lost, of the hubris of the gods he hates, and who couldn't even be useful half the time. not knowing he's just glad you're finally free

[cielrouge]

2018 YA Reads by Authors of Color

#PrettyBoy Must Die by Kimberly Reid - A CIA prodigy's cover is blown when he accidentally becomes an internet sensation, inspired by the #Alexfromtarget story.

500 Words or Less by Juleah del Rosario - To redefine her reputation senior year, Nic Chen begins writing their college admissions essays. But the more essays Nic writes for other people, the less sure she becomes of herself, and whether her moral compass even points north anymore.

After the Shot Drops by Randy Ribar - A powerful novel about friendship, basketball, and one teen's mission to create a better life for his family in the tradition of Jason Reynolds and Walter Dean Myers.   

A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bhathena - When half-Hindu, half-Parsi school troublemaker Zarin Wadia dies in a car crash with a boy named Porus, no one in her South Asian community in Jeddah is surprised—what else would you expect from a girl like that?

A Land of Permanent Goodbyes by Atia Abawi -  After their home in Syria is bombed, Tareq and family seek refuge, first with extended family in Raqqa, a stronghold for the militant group, Daesh, and then abroad.

A Reaper At the Gates (An Ember in the Ashes #3) by Sabaa Tahir - Within the Empire, the threat of war looms, putting Laia, Helene, and Elias at risk. 

A Thousand Beginnings and Endings edited by Ellen Oh & Elsie Chapman - 15 bestselling and acclaimed authors reimagine the folklore and mythology of East and South Asia in short stories that are by turns enchanting, heartbreaking, romantic, and passionate. 

All of This is True by Lygia Day Penaflor - Four privileged Long Island teens befriend their favorite YA author with disastrous results.

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages edited by Saundra Mitchell - A historical-fiction anthology shines the spotlight on queer teens, from as far back as the 1300s to the 21st century.

All That I Can Fix by Crystal Chan - Ronney kept believing his dad would snap out of it and shape up—until his hope turned into anger.

All the Stars Denied by Guadalupe Garcia McCall - In this companion novel to SHAME THE STARS, McCall covers the hidden history of the United States and its first mass deportation event that swept up hundreds of thousands of Mexican American citizens during the Great Depression.

Along the Indigo by Elsie Chapman - Love, mystery, and tragedy unfold for Marsden and Jude in a small town with a haunted past.

American Panda by Gloria Chao - An incisive, laugh-out-loud contemporary debut about a Taiwanese-American teen, Mei whose parents want her to be a doctor and marry a Taiwanese Ivy Leaguer despite her squeamishness with germs and crush on a Japanese classmate.

American Road Trip by Patrick Flores-Scott - After Teodoro’s older brother, Manny, left for Iraq, the Avilas begin to fall apart. But in a desperate effort to save Manny from himself and pull their family back together, T's fiery sister Xochitl hoodwinks her brothers into a road trip with many stops along the road to visit loved ones from their past. 

Americanized: Rebel Without a Greencard by Sara Saedi - Saedi recounts her teen years growing up and coming of age in 1990s California while fearing deportation for herself and her undocumented family.

Analee in Real Life by Janelle Milanes - A genuinely fresh spin on Pygmalion in high school, starring Cuban-American Analee Echevarria. 

Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro - Rooted in the working-class neighborhoods of Oakland, California, this is a tale of black teenager Moss Jeffries, diverse in sexuality and gender, organizing to challenge state-sanctioned violence.

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan - Leigh Chen Sanders is absolutely certain about one thing: When her mother died by suicide, she turned into a bird .Leigh, who is half Asian and half white, travels to Taiwan to meet her maternal grandparents for the first time. There, she is determined to find her mother, the bird. In her search, she winds up chasing after ghosts, uncovering family secrets, and forging a new relationship with her grandparents. 

The Beauty that Remains by Ashley Woodfolk - Music brought Autumn, Shay, and Logan together. But when tragedy strikes each of them, somehow music is no longer enough. Now Logan can’t stop watching vlogs of his dead ex-boyfriend. Shay is a music blogger struggling to keep it together. And Autumn sends messages that she knows can never be answered. Despite the odds, one band's music will reunite them and prove that after grief, beauty thrives in the people left behind. 

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton - In the opulent world of Orléans, Belles are revered, for they control Beauty. Camellia Beauregard wants to be recognized as the most talented Belle in the land. But she soon finds that behind the gilded palace walls live dark secrets. When the Queen of Orléans asks Camellia to risk her own life and help the ailing princess by using Belle powers in unintended ways, Camellia faces an impossible decision.

Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria - In the city of Eldra, people are ruled by ancient prophecies. For centuries, the high council has stayed in power by virtue of the prophecies of the elder seers. In the present day, Cassa, the orphaned daughter of rebels, is determined to fight back against the high council. But by the time Cassa and her friends uncover the mystery of the final infallible prophecy, it may be too late to save the city — or themselves.

Between the Lines by Nikki Grimes - A new group of students join Mr. Ward’s poetry class in the companion novel to Bronx Masquerade

A Blade So Black by L.L. McKinney - The first time the Nightmares came, it nearly cost Alice her life. Now she's trained to battle monstrous creatures in the dark dream realm known as Wonderland. But when Alice's handsome and mysterious mentor is poisoned, she has to find the antidote by venturing deeper into Wonderland than she’s ever gone before.

Blanca & Roja by Anne-Marie McLemore - The del Cisne girls, Blanca & Roja, have never just been sisters; they’re also rivals. Because of a generations-old spell, their family is bound to a bevy of swans deep in the woods. But when two local boys become drawn into the game, the swans’ spell intertwines with the strange and unpredictable magic lacing the woods, and all four of their fates depend on facing truths that could either save or destroy them. 

Blood of a Thousand Stars (Empress of a Thousand Skies #2) by Rhoda Belleza - Separated, unaware of the others, Rhee, Aly, and Kara try to wrest control of the galaxy from an evil celebrity. 

The Boyfriend Bracket by Kate Evangelista - Stella has had a hopeless crush on Will, her older brother's best friend FOREVER, but now that Cam and Will have graduated and are going off to college, this year is her chance to really strike out on her own. With the help of her best friend Franklin, she comes up with the perfect plan to have a boyfriend by Christmas: The Boyfriend Bracket. Or it seems like the perfect plan...right up until Will starts showing up again.

Broken Beautiful Hearts by Kami Garcia - Cuban-American Peyton Rios is a rising soccer star to discovers her boyfriend’s dark secret, and confronts him—and finds herself falling down a flight of stairs. Peyton’s knee—and maybe her dream of going pro—is shattered. With her future on the line, Peyton goes to stay with her uncle in a small Tennessee town to focus on her recovery. Dating is the last thing on her mind—until she meets sweet, sexy Owen Law. 

Bruja Born (Brooklyn Brujas #2) by Zoraida Cordova - Teenage bruja Lula Mortiz tries to save her boyfriend, Maks, by cheating Death; however, Lady de la Muerte is not so easily bested.

Buried Beneath the Baobab Tree by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani - The unnamed young Nigerian narrator of this novel, with a loving family and academic aspirations, is kidnapped by Boko Haram along with many other girls and women from her village.

Catching Teller Crow by Ambelin & Ezekiel Kwaymullina - Nothing's been the same for Beth Teller since she died. Her dad, a detective, is the only one who can see and hear her - and he's drowning in grief. But now they have a mystery to solve together. Who is Isobel Catching, and what's her connection to the fire that killed a man? 

Chainbreaker (Timekeeper #2) by Tara Sim - In 1876, someone is destroying the clock towers that control India’s time. Teenage mechanics Danny Hart and half-white, half-Indian Daphne Richards as they travel to Agra to investigate a series of clock tower bombings. 

Check Please! Book 1: Hockey by Nogzi Ukazu - A collection of the first half of the megapopular webcomic series of the same name, Check, Please!: #Hockey is the first book of a hilarious coming-of-age story about hockey, bros, and trying to find yourself during the best four years of your life.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi - 17-year-old Zélie and companions journey to a mythic island seeking a chance to bring back magic to the land of Orïsha, in a fantasy world infused with the textures of West Africa.

Crown of Thunder (Beasts Made of Night #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi - Taj has escaped Kos, but Queen Karima will go to any means necessary—including using the most deadly magic—to track him down.

Damselfly by Chandra Prasad- In the wake of crash-landing on a deserted tropical island, Samantha Mishra and her other private school classmates must rely on their wits and one another to survive. 

Dear Heartbreak edited by Heather Denetrios - This is a book about the dark side of love: the way it kicks your ass, tears out your heart, and then forces you to eat it, bite by bloody bite. If you’ve felt this way, you’re not alone. 

The Devil’s Thief (The Last Magician #2) by Lisa Maxwell - Esta and Harte set off on a cross-country chase through time to steal back the elemental stones they need to save the future of magic.

The Demon Race by Alexandria Warwick - When 17-year-old Namali learns of her arranged marriage, she flees home and enters the Demon Race for the chance to change her fate. But to compete, she must cross the Saraj on a daeva, a shadow demon that desires its own reward: to infect her soul with darkness. In this race of men and demons, only one can win. But the price of winning might be more than Namali is willing to pay.

Djinn by Sang Kromah - Bijou Fitzroy is strange. With the unwanted gift of being an empath, she has spent her entire life as a sheltered recluse. When Bijou and her grandmother move to Sykesville and she starts to attend the local high school, Bijou’s world begins to crumble. Town locals begin to disappear and the creatures from her nightmares begin to take shape in her reality. She finds herself at the center of a war she never knew was being fought all around her.

The Disturbed Girls’ Dictionary by NoNieqa Ramos - Officially classified as “disturbed,” Puerto Rican Macy vents her rage, frustrations, and fears in a dictionary-style journal.

Down and Across by Arvin Ahmadi While his parents travel to Iran to visit his ailing grandfather, 16-year-old Iranian-American Scott Ferdowsi quits his boring summer lab internship in Philadelphia and secretly travels to D.C., seeking answers about his (in)ability to succeed.

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland - The Civil War is over, but mostly because the dead rose at Gettysburg—and then started rising everywhere else. Fighting the undead is a breeze for Jane McKenne, an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. But the fight for freedom? That’s a different story.

Dream Country by Shannon Gibney - The heartbreaking story of five generations of young people from a single African-and-American family pursuing an elusive dream of freedom. 

Driving by Starlight by Anat Deracine - Two teenage girls in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, rebel against a patriarchal culture while struggling to navigate their complex family lives.

Emergency Contact by Mary H.K. Choi - A secret relationship conducted almost exclusively via text buoys Korean-American college freshman Penny Lee, slouching awkwardly toward adulthood and a 21-year-old cafe manager who is trying to clean up the mess his life has become.

Empress of All Seasons by Emiko Jean - Each generation, a competition is held to find the next empress of Honoku. The rules are simple. Survive the palace’s enchanted seasonal rooms. Marry the prince. Torn between duty and love, loyalty and betrayal, vengeance and forgiveness, the choices of Mari, Taro, and Akira will decide the fate of Honoku. 

The Fall of Innocence by Jenny Torres Sanchez - When she was 8 years old, half-Mexican, half-El Salvadoran Emilia DeJesus was brutally assaulted. But when a startling discovery about her attacker's identity comes to light, and the memories of that day break through the mental box in which she'd shut them away, Emilia is forced to confront her new reality and make sense of shifting truths about her past, her family, and herself. 

Final Draft by Riley Redgate - 18-year-old high school senior Laila Piedra is determined to write the best sci-fi story ever. Dr. Nazarenko has led Laila to believe that she must choose between perfection and sanity—but rejecting her all-powerful mentor may be the only way for Laila to thrive.

The Final Six by Alexandra Monir -  Italian-American Leo Danieli and Iranian-American Naomi Ardalan must become astronauts in record time for an inaugural space mission.

Finding Yvonne by Brandy Colbert - Yvonne's longtime plans to play violin professionally seem to be falling apart as she nears graduation. Feeling unmoored, she begins seeing a street performer while also pondering her longtime relationship with her father's sous chef. Ultimately her unexpected pregnancy forces some hard talks and hard choices.

Fire & Heist by Sarah Beth Durst - In Sky Hawkins's family, leading your first heist is a major milestone. Embarking on a life of crime is never easy, and Sky discovers secrets about her mother, who recently went missing, the real reason her boyfriend broke up with her, and a valuable jewel that could restore her family's wealth and rank in their community.

For A Muse of Fire by Heidi Heilig - 16-year-old shadow puppeteer Jetta Chantray performs with her family’s traveling troupe, the Ros Nai. Her skill and fame are her family’s way to earn a spot aboard the royal ship to Aquitan, where rumor has it the Mad King has a spring that cures his ills. But as rebellion seethes and as Jetta meets a young smuggler, she will face truths and decisions that she never imagined—and safety will never seem so far away.

Fresh Ink edited by Lamar Giles - 13 leading YA voices from diverse backgrounds lend their talents to this anthology of 12 fictional short stories.

From Twinkie, With Love by Sandhya Menon - Aspiring filmmaker and wallflower Twinkle Mehra has stories she wants to tell. So when fellow film geek Sahil Roy approaches her to direct a movie for the upcoming Summer Festival, Twinkle is all over it. The chance to publicly showcase her voice as a director? Dream come true. The fact that it gets her closer to her longtime crush, Neil Roy—a.k.a. Sahil’s twin brother? Dream come true x 2.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan - Thrust into the beauty and horror of the Hidden Palace, will Paper Girl Lei survive?

Girls on the Line by Jennie Liu - A teen pregnancy puts two orphan girls in contemporary China on a collision course with factory bosses, family planning regulators, and a bride trafficker.

Give Me Some Truth by Eric Gansworth - In the 1980s, Carson Mastick’s Native American coming-of-age story grapples with the day-to-day details of teenagers’ lives on and off the reservation.

The Healer by Donna Freitas - Marlena Oliveira has—mysteriously, miraculously—been given the power to heal all kinds of ailments. But her power comes at a price: she can’t go to school, she can’t have friends her own age, and she certainly can’t date.Then she meets Finn, a boy who makes her want to fall in love. For the first time, she begins to doubt whether her gift is worth all that she must give up to keep it.

The Heartforger (Bone Witch #2) by Rin Chupeco - With a thirst for vengeance, a band of terrifying daeva at her command, and her resurrected lover Kalen by her side, dark asha Tea is ready to face her adversaries.

Hearts Unbroken by Cynthia Leitich Smith - A thoughtful story of Native American Louise Wolfe navigating the complicated, confusing waters of high school — and first love.

Hide With Me by Sorboni Banerjee - A powerful story about the unbreakable bonds of friendship, the headiness of first love, and the courage to fight for a brighter future against all odds.

Home and Away by Candice Montgomery - Tasia Quirk is young, Black, and fabulous. But when she catches her mamma trying to stuff a mysterious box in the closet, her identity is suddenly called into question. Now Tasia’s determined to unravel the lies that have overtaken her life. 

Hope is Our Only Wing by Rutendo Tavengerwei - In Zimbabwe, 15-year-old Shamiso, struggles with grief and bewilderment following her father's death. For Tanyaradzwa, whose life has been turned upside down by a cancer diagnosis, hope is the only reason to keep fighting. As the two of them form an unlikely friendship, Shamiso begins to confront her terrible fear of loss. 

I Am Thunder by Muhammad Khan 15-year-old Muzna Saleem, who dreams of being a writer, struggles with controlling parents who only care about her studying to be a doctor. Forced to move to a new school in South London, Muzna realizes that the bullies will follow her wherever she goes. As her new freedom starts to disappear, Muzna is forced to question everything around her and make a terrible choice - keep quiet and betray herself, or speak out and betray her heart?

Ignite the Stars by Maura Milan - Criminal mastermind and unrivaled pilot, Ia Cocha has spent her life terrorizing the Olympus Commonwealth, the imperialist nation that destroyed her home. When she’s captured, Ia is trapped at the Commonwealth’s military academy, desperately plotting her escape. But new acquaintances—including Brinn and their charming Flight Master, Knives—cause Ia to question her own alliances. Can she find a way to escape the Commonwealth’s clutches before these bonds deepen?

Imagine Us Happy by Jennifer Yu - Stella lives with depression. But when she meets Kevin, she feels less lonely, listened to—and hopeful for the first time since ever…But to keep that feeling, Stella lets her grades go and her friendships slide. With her life spinning out of control, she’s got to figure out what she truly needs, what’s worth saving—and what to let go.

Inferno (Talon #5) by Julie Kagawa - Ember Hill has learned a shocking truth about herself: she is the blood of the Elder Wyrm, the ancient dragon who leads Talon and who is on the verge of world domination. With the stakes rising and the Elder Wyrm declaring war, time is running out for the rogues and any dragon not allied with Talon. The final battle approaches. And if Talon is victorious, the world will burn.

Into the Black (Beyond the Red #2) by Ava Jae - The revelation of Eros’ parentage leads to political intrigues and a change in his relationship with Kora.

Isan by Mary Ting - After meteors devastate the Earth, 17-year-old Ava struggles to survive and ends up in juvenile detention, until she is selected for a new life—with a catch. She must be injected with an experimental serum. To receive the serum Ava agrees to join a program controlled by ISAN, the International Sensory Assassin Network.While on a mission, she is abducted by a rebel group led by Rhett and told that not only does she have a history with him, but her entire past is a lie perpetuated by ISAN to ensure her compliance. Unsure of who to trust, Ava must decide if her strangely familiar and handsome captor is her enemy or her savior—and time is running out. 

Isle of Blood and Stone by Makiia Lucier - Mysterious maps from opposite ends of the sea cast doubt on the whereabouts of two princes, presumed dead.

Jazz Owls by Margarita Engle -  Against the backdrop of World War II, a patriotic Mexican-American family proudly contributes to the war effort despite pervasive racism.

Jinxed by Amy McCulloch - Lacey Chu has big dreams of becoming a companioneer for MONCHA, the largest tech firm in North America and the company behind the  "baku" - a customisable smart pet that functions as a phone but makes the perfect companion too. One night, Lacey comes across the remains of an advanced, but broken baku. Days of work later when the baku opens its eyes, Lacey calls him Jinx. Slowly but surely, Jinx becomes more than just a baku to Lacey. But what is Jinx, really? He seems to be more than just a robotic pet. He seems...real.

Kingdom of the Blazing Phoenix (Rise of the Empress #2) by Julie C. Dao - Princess Jade has grown up in exile, hidden away in a monastery while her stepmother, the ruthless Xifeng, rules as empress of Feng Lu. Ready to reclaim her place as rightful heir, Jade embarks on a quest to raise the Dragon Lords and defeat Xifeng and the Serpent God once and for all. 

Learning to Breathe by Janice Lynn Mather - Sent away to live with relatives in Nassau, Bahamas, to escape her mother’s wild lifestyle, Indira’s new home is anything but a sanctuary.

Legacy of Light (The Effgies #3) by Sarah Raughley - After Saul’s strike on Oslo—one seemingly led by Maia herself—the Effigies’ reputation is in shambles. Belle has gone rogue, Chae Rin and Lake have disappeared, and the Sect is being dismantled and replaced by a terrifying new world order helmed by Blackwell. If the Effigies can’t put the pieces together soon, there may not be much left of the world they’ve fought so desperately to save.

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann - Alice has her blissful summer take an unexpected turn when she meets Takumi and can’t stop thinking about him. As they get closer, Alice, who is asexual, has to decide if she’s willing to risk their friendship for a love that might not be reciprocated—or understood.

Live in Infamy by Caroline Tung Richmond - In an alternate world in which the Axis Powers won WWII, 16-year-old Chinese-American Ren Cabot grapples with the cost of revolution.

Love, Hate & Other Filters by Samira Ahmed - High school senior Maya Aziz works up the courage to tell her parents that she’s gotten into the film school of her dreams in New York City, but their expectations combined with anti-Muslim backlash from a terror attack threaten to derail her dream.

Love & War (Alex & Eliza #2) by Melissa de la Cruz - As the war for American Independence carries on, two newlyweds are settling into their new adventure: marriage. But the honeymoon's over, and Alexander Hamilton and Eliza Schuyler are learning firsthand just how tricky wedded life can be, tested by lingering jealousies and family drama.

Lovely, Dark, and Deep by Justina Chen - Biracial Viola Li has her future as a globe-trotting journalist all planned out, but everything comes into question when her body suddenly betrays her, after she develops an extreme case of photosensitivity, an inexplicable allergy to sunlight. 

The Lost Kids (Never Ever #2) by Sara Saedi - Just a few weeks ago, Wylie Dalton was living on a magical island where nobody ages past 17. Now, her home is a creaky old boat where she's joined a ragtag group of cast-offs from the island. But when the Lost Kids invade Minor Island, they're shocked to find it totally deserted, except for one survivor who reveals the shocking news: adults have discovered the island.

Mariam Sharma Hits the Road by Sheba Karim - Three Pakistani-American teens, Mariam, Ghazala, and Umar, go on a cathartic summer road trip through the Deep South.

Meet-Cute edited by Jennifer L. Armetrout - Whether or not you believe in fate, or luck, or love at first sight, every romance has to start somewhere, an anthology of original short stories featuring tales of "how they first met" from some of today’s most popular YA authors. 

Mem by Bethany C. Morrow - In alternate reality Montreal (1925), a young woman’s personality is the result of a startling experimental procedure, leaving her to struggle with the question of who she really is.

Mirage by Somaiya Daud - In a star system dominated by the brutal Vathek empire, 18-year-old Amani is a dreamer. But when adventure comes for Amani, it is not what she expects: she is kidnapped by the regime and become the body double of the cruel Princess Maram. As Amani is forced into her new role, she can’t help but enjoy the palace’s beauty—and her time with the princess’ fiancé, Idris. But the glitter of the royal court belies a world of violence and fear. If Amani ever wishes to see her family again, she must play the princess to perfection. 

Monday’s Not Coming by Tiffany D. Jackson - Washington, D.C., eighth-graders Claudia Coleman and her best (and only) friend, Monday Charles, were inseparable, often mistaken for twins—until the day Monday disappeared.

Monk! by Youssef Daoudi - This vividly illustrated biography of jazz legend Thelonious Monk brings to life his relationship with the headstrong baroness who would become a life long friend and patron.

Monsters (The Reckoner #2) by David A. Robertson - Cole Harper is struggling to settle into life in Wounded Sky First Nation. He may have stopped a serial killer but the trouble is far from over. A creature lurks in the shadows of Blackwood Forest, the health clinic is on lockdown by a mysterious organization, and long-held secrets threaten to bubble to the surface. Can Cole learn the truth about his father's death? 

My So-Called Bollywood Life by Nisha Sharma - A fresh, madcap rom-com in which a Princeton, New Jersey, high school senior, aspiring film school student, and Bollywood junkie Vaneeta “Winnie” Mehta navigates the dramas of real life.

Not the Girls You’re Looking For by Aminah Mae Safi - Iraqi-American Leila “Lulu” Saad is about to graduate from high school with her three best friends by her side, but things get messy and senior year becomes a little more complicated than expected.

Odd One Out by Nic Stone - Courtney Cooper is in love with his longtime female best friend, Jupiter Charity-Sanchez, who is an out-and-proud lesbian. But the arrival of a new friend, Rae Evelyn Chin, who is questioning her sexuality, complicates their relationship and inspires new questions and possibilities between the trio. 

Out of Left Field by Kris Hui Lee - Marnie’s love of baseball—and the stalwart friends with whom she plays the game with such passion—has been the centerpiece of her life; but now she’s 17 and things are changing after she replaces Cody, the school’s star pitcher. With her own team against her, Marnie begins questioning her abilities. And when fate throws her a curveball, can she play without losing the game, Cody, and her belief in herself?

The Outcast (Summoner #4) by Taran Matharu - Arcturus is just an orphaned stable boy when he discovers he has the ability to summon demons from another world and sent to Vocans Academy. As the first commoner gifted with this ability, his discovery challenges the nobility and the powers that be and Arcturus soon makes enemies. With no one but his demon Sacharissa by his side, Arcturus must prove himself as a worthy Summoner...

Period: 12 Voices Tell the Bloody Truth edited by Kate Farrell - In this collection, writers of various ages and across racial, cultural, and gender identities share stories about the period. Each of twelve authors brings an individual perspective and sensibility. Told with warmth and humor, these essays celebrate all kinds of period experiences.

Picture Us in the Light by Kelly Loy Gilbert - Chinese-American Danny Cheng has always known his parents have secrets. But when he discovers a taped-up box in his father's closet filled with old letters and a file on a powerful Silicon Valley family, he realizes there's much more to his family's past than he ever imagined.

Pitch Dark by Courtney Alameda - Set against a future of marauding space scavengers and deadly aliens who kill with sound, Tuck and Laura must survive abroad the USS John Muir. 

The Place Between Breaths by An Na  - Walking away from those we love most may seem like the kindest thing we can do, but it’s a choice that will forever haunt those we leave behind: this holds true for 16-year-old Grace. 

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevdeo - In Harlem, NY, Dominican-American Xiomara Batista who dubs herself The Poet X, clashes with her strict, Catholic mother and runs up against her own self-doubt as she explores her doubts about religion, her fears of dating, and her budding talent for slam poetry. 

Pride by Ibi Zoboi - 17-year-old Haitian-Domitian-American Zuri Benitez deals with gentrification in her Brooklyn Bushwick neighborhood and her own bias against Darius Darcy and his rich family in this Pride and Prejudice remix.

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang - Prince Sebastian has a secret: at night he puts on daring dresses and takes Paris by storm as the fabulous Lady Crystallia. Sebastian’s secret weapon (and best friend) is the brilliant dressmaker Frances. But Frances dreams of greatness, and being someone’s secret weapon means being a secret. Forever. How long can Frances defer her dreams to protect a friend?

Reflection: A Twisted Fable by Elizabeth Lim - What if Mulan had to travel to the Underworld? When Captain Shang is mortally wounded by Shan Yu in battle, Mulan must travel to the Underworld, Diyu, in order to save him from certain death. Will Mulan be able to save Shang before it's too late? Will he ever be able to trust her again? Or will she lose him--and be lost in the Underworld--forever?

The Resolutions by Mia Garcia - From hiking trips, to four-person birthday parties, to never-ending group texts, Jess, Lee, Ryan, and Nora have always been inseparable—and unstoppable. But now, with senior year on the horizon, they’ve been splintering off and growing apart. And so, Jess makes a plan and adds a new twist: instead of making their own resolutions, the four friends assign them for each other—dares like kiss someone you know is wrong for you, show your paintings, learn Spanish, say yes to everything.

Restore Me (Shatter Me #4) by Tahereh Mafi - Juliette Ferrars thought she'd won. She took over Sector 45, was named the new Supreme Commander, and now has Warner by her side. But she's still the girl with the ability to kill with a single touch. When tragedy hits, who will she become?

Run, Riot by Nikesh Shukla - When teenagers Hari and Jamal film an unarmed youth from their estate being beaten by police, they find themselves hunted. But as they go on the run with Hari's twin sister, Taran, and Jamal's girlfriend, Anna, the four friends discover that the truth behind the shooting goes deeper. 

Running with Lions by Julian Winters - A multiethnic group of Midwestern teenage boys contend with soccer and sexual identity. 

The Season of Rebels and Roses by Virginia Sanchez-Korrol - Ranging from Puerto Rico to Cuba and the United States, this engaging novel set in the late 1880s, follows historical figures that were instrumental in the fight for self-determination in Puerto Rico.

Secrets of the Casa Rosada by Alex Temblador - 16-year-old Mexican-American Martha has to adjust to a new life with her maternal grandmother, a respected curanderaor healer in Laredo, Texas, after her reliably unreliable mother dumps her at the pink house filled with tokens of her mom's childhood that might, maybe, explain why she abandoned Martha, leaving her with a family she never knew existed.

The Secret Science of Magic by Melissa Keil - A quirky high school romance unfolds in the alternating voices of math whiz Sophia and aspiring magician Joshua. In life and love, timing is everything. 

Shadow of the Fox by Julie Kagawa - Demons have burned the temple Yumeko was raised in to the ground, killing everyone within, including the master who trained her to both use and hide her kitsune shapeshifting powers. Yumeko escapes with the temple’s greatest treasure—one part of the ancient scroll. Fate thrusts her into the path of a mysterious samurai, Kage Tatsumi of the Shadow Clan. Yumeko knows he seeks what she has...and is under orders to kill anything and anyone who stands between him and the scroll. 

Shadowsong (Wintersong #2) by S. Jae-Jones - Liesl is working toward furthering both her brother’s and her own musical careers. But when troubling signs arise that the barrier between worlds is crumbling, Liesl must return to the Underground to unravel the mystery of life, death, and the Goblin King—who he was, who he is, and who he will be.

Smoke in the Sun (A Flame in the Mist #2) by Renee Ahdieh - After Okami is captured in the Jukai forest, Mariko has no choice—to rescue him, she tricks her brother, Kenshin, and betrothed, Raiden, into thinking she was being held by the Black Clan against her will. But each secret Mariko unfurls gives way to the next, ensnaring her and Okami in a political scheme that threatens their honor, their love and very the safety of the empire.

Snow in Love: Four Stories by Aimee Friedman, Melissa de la Cruz, Nic Stone & Kasie West - Curl up in front of a crackling fire. Grab a mug of hot cocoa. And delve into this deliciously cozy and compelling YA collection of wintry love stories. 

Someone to Love by Melissa de la Cruz - High school junior Olivia Blakely struggles with disordered eating and a life in the spotlight as her father’s political career starts to rise. 

Sorry Not Sorry by Jamie Reed - Janelle and Alyssa used to be BFFs -- but not anymore. But, suddenly, Alyssa's diabetes becomes the talk of the school. It's turned life-threatening; without a kidney transplant, her chances are not good. Despite reservations, Janelle gets tested and finds that she's a rare, perfect match with Alyssa for a transplant. But organ donations aren't very common in her community, and she starts to feel pushback. When feuds and accusations push the girls further apart, Janelle doesn't know what to do. Will the match bring the girls back together, or drive them apart for good?

A Spark of White Fire by Sangu Mandanna - In a universe of capricious gods, dark moons, and kingdoms built on the backs of spaceships, a cursed queen sends her infant daughter away, a jealous uncle steals the throne of Kali from his nephew, and an exiled prince vows to take his crown back. Raised alone and far away from her home on Kali, Esmae longs to return to her family. When the King of Wychstar offers to gift the unbeatable, sentient warship Titania to a warrior that can win his competition, she sees her way home: she’ll enter the competition, reveal her true identity to the world, and help her famous brother win back the crown of Kali. 

Star-Touched Stories by Roshani Choski - Three lush and adventurous stories in the Star-Touched world.

Star-Crossed by Pintip Dunn - Princess Vela is tasked with choosing a boy fit to die for the king, which is impossible enough. But then Carr, the boy she's loved all her life, emerges as the best candidate in the Bittersweet Trials. Refusing to accept losing the boy she loves, Vela bends the rules and cheats. But when someone begins to sabotage the Trials, Vela must reevaluate her own integrity—and learn the true sacrifice of becoming a ruler.

The Storyteller (Sea of Ink and Gold #3) by Traci Chee - Sefia is determined to keep Archer out of the Guard's clutches and their plans for war between the Five Kingdoms. As Sefia and Archer watch Kelanna start to crumble to the Guard's will, they will have to choose between their love and joining a war that just might tear them apart.

This is Kind of an Epic Love Story by Kacen Callender - Nathan Bird doesn’t believe in happy endings. But his friend Florence, is set on making sure Nate finds someone else. And in a rom-com-worthy twist, someone does come along: Oliver James Hernández, his childhood best friend. After a painful mix-up when they were little, Nate finally has the chance to tell Ollie the truth about his feelings. But can Nate find the courage to pursue his own happily ever after?

Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman - Music helps a Washington state teenager Rumi Seto overcome guilt and grief after the death of her beloved younger sister, Lea. 

This is What It Feels Like by Rebecca Barrow - It used to be the three of them, Dia, Jules, and Hanna, messing around and making music and planning for the future. But like the lyrics of a song you used to play on repeat, there’s no forgetting a best friend. And for Dia, Jules, and Hanna, this impossible challenge — to ignore the past, in order to jumpstart the future — will only become possible if they finally make peace with the girls they once were, and the girls they are finally letting themselves be.

Thunderhead (Scythe #2) by Neal Shusterman - Rowan and Citra take opposite stances on the morality of the Scythedom, putting them at odds. 

Tiffany Sly Lives Here Now by Dana L. Davis - At 16-years-old, African-American Tiffany Sly suddenly lands on a different planet: Simi Valley, California to live with the biological dad she’s never known. But Tiffany has a secret. Another man claims he��s Tiffany’s real dad—and she only has seven days before he shows up to demand a paternity test and the truth comes out. 

Toil & Trouble: 15 Tales of Women and Witchcraft edited by Jessica Spotwood & Tess Sharpe - A short story collection that illustrates the multitudes of girlhood, womanhood, and magic.

Toxic by Lydia Kang - Hana, a secretly created teen girl, abandoned aboard the sentient biological spaceship Cyclo, which is dying, encounters a mercenary boy doomed, Fennec "Fenn" Actias, to perish on the ship for his last job.

Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse - After the Big Water, Maggie Hoskie’s monster-slaying clan powers have woken up. She’s going to need them on a journey culminating in the kind of battle fantasy readers will relish.

Two Dark Reigns (Three Dark Crowns #3) by Kendare Blake - A victorious Katharine sits on the throne, Mirabella and Arsinoe are in hiding, and an unexpected renegade is about to wage a war of her own. The crown has been won, but these queens are far from done.

Tyler Johnson Was Here by Jay Coles - When Marvin's twin brother, Tyler, is found dead by police violence, Marvin falls deep into grief. But with the help of friends and family he finds the strength to confront what happened and fight the forces that took his brother's life.

Umbertouched (Rosemarked #2) by Livia Blackburne - As Shidadi and Dara alike prepare for war, Zivah and Dineas grapple with the toll of their time in the capital. Time is running out for all of them, but especially Zivah whose plague symptoms surface once again. Now, she must decide how she’ll define the life she has left.

Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson - When Fairmount Academy is rocked by three apparent suicides in the span of a week, it is up to Mexican-American Wiccan Mila Flores to conjure up the truth.

Unbroken: 13 Stories Starring Disabled Teens edited by Marieke Nijkamp - A YA Anthology of short stories featuring disabled teens, written by #OwnVoices disabled authors. 

A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi - It’s 2002, a year after 9/11. It’s an extremely turbulent time politically, but especially so for someone like Shirin, a 16-year-old Muslim girl who’s tired of being stereotyped. But then she meets Ocean James. He’s the first person in forever who really seems to want to get to know Shirin. It terrifies her—they seem to come from two irreconcilable worlds—and Shirin has had her guard up for so long that she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to let it down.

The Way You Make Me Feel by Maurene Goo - Korean-American Clara Shin lives for pranks and disruption. When she takes one joke too far, her dad sentences her to a summer working on his food truck, alongside her uptight classmate Rose Carver. But maybe Rose isn't so bad. Maybe the boy named Hamlet Wong crushing on her is pretty cute. Still, what if taking this summer seriously means that Clara has to leave her old self behind? 

Welcome Home edited by Eric Smith - A collection of adoption-themed fictional short stories, and brings them together in one anthology from a diverse range of celebrated YA authors. 

What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera - Ben and Arthur meet cute but lose touch, then have a series of near misses and first date re-dos before finally settling into a relationship. But Arthur's impending departure for the summer and both guys' own insecurities threaten to end something new that's only just begun.

Wildcard (Warcross #2) by Marie Lu - Emika Chen barely made it out of the Warcross Championships alive. Determined to put a stop to Hideo's grim plans, Emika and the Phoenix Riders band together, but her sole chance for survival lies with Zero and the Blackcoats, his ruthless crew. Caught in a web of betrayal, with the future of free will at risk, just how far will Emika go to take down Hideo? 

Wrong in All the Right Ways by Tiffany Brownlee - Everything in Emma's life has always gone according to her very careful plans. But things take a turn toward the unexpected when she falls in love for the first time with the one person in the world who’s off-limits–her new foster brother, the gorgeous and tormented Dylan McAndrews. 

[ravychan]

Fighting Fire with Fire Part One: The Wormhole (Revised)

Wasn’t happy with how this story came out for the first time, so I made some changes. Hope you all like it.

It began on a rainy day, left at an orphanage she withdrew from those around her not willing to trust anyone. After several failed family interviews, she meets the family that doesn’t give up on her. The couple took her without hesitation, training her in archery as a means to connect and form a bond. Once she opened enough to trust them, they also taught her first aid and survival skills. Up until the age of seventeen they had a happy life without any tragedy.

One day, during summer break, while they were spending time together a fire broke out, alarm spread through each of them as they tried to get all the students out of the building. The fire got worse and despite their efforts they could only get Tsubaki out of the building alive. They died in those flames holding each other as Tsubaki cried for the loss of the only family that loved her. A funeral would be held two weeks after the fire.

To her dismay, a lot of people were present, once again she had withdrawn from the people around her. At the funeral’s conclusion she excused herself and torched what was left of the dojo she grew up in, not wanting any reminder of the events that transpired on the day she lost her family. People gossiped about what she did for quite a while, she got to the point of wanting to escape everything around her. She wanted to run away find a new life where she wasn’t so miserable. Little did she know that was about to happen, if she chose to remain.

As she often did when stressed, she visited the temple of Honno-Ji looking at the event in thought. Behind her, a man approached,” I have noticed that you come here a lot. You seem to be pretty well known around here too, miss Tsubaki,” A man said as he approached her. Turning around she faced a man with brown hair and eyes, wearing glasses and a lab coat over some causal clothing. Glaring at him she grabbed him by the shirt,” What the hell do you know about my life?! You going to believe everything you hear from shallow people?” she snapped as she released his shirt. “Not at all,” he responded as he straightened his lab coat.

It was then that he saw it, the wormhole approaching them,” Miss Tsubaki, watch out!” he cried out as he tried to move her out of the aim of the wormhole but to no avail, as the wormhole had absorbed both of them. They had no idea that it had in fact sent them five hundred years into the past, where peace was a dreamer’s ideal. War ravaged across the lands from one side to the next, no one would be safe from the flames of war not even them.

As she woke, she looked around realizing that she was in the temple of Honno-Ji, to her dismay it was on fire. Panic started to rise, her throat got dry making her have to swallow several times, hands sweating, her body starting to shake. During her panic, she noticed a man slumped against the wall not far from her. Alarmed, she pushed her fear aside and rushed over to the man, telling him that he must help her get him out of the building hoping that he was still conscious. It was a slow trek to the outside of the temple, as soon as she was out that door, she was surrounded by the warlords waiting.

Once they took the man from her, her panic began to surface again. Not wanting total strangers to see her panic, she ran into the forest where she then hid behind a tree weeping. “They said I was better,” she said through her weeps as she slumped to the ground, putting her arms on her knees so only her bright red hair was visible. On the opposite side of the tree, the man that was with her at the temple stood listening to her weeping. Hearing the sound of horses, he whispered, “I will come back for you,” and then he disappeared into the shadows of the forest. Also hearing the horses, though not hearing him she wiped at her eyes and once she felt ready, she walked around the tree to greet the men approaching her.

Two men approached her, slowing the horses to a stop. One had sandy hair and yellowish eyes, he wore a red and green kimono; the other man had coffee brown hair, with a black eyepatch on one eye and the other eye was blue. Unlike the other man, he wore black armor with a blue kimono poking out the sides of the armor. They dismounted the horses and walked over to her, the man with sandy hair looked at her and said,” Lord Nobunaga wants to meet with you, so we have been tasked with retrieving you,” he informed Tsubaki.

She thought for a moment, looking between the two men and then said,” I refuse,” she told them crossing her arms. The two men looked at her dumbfounded,” Why not?” he asked her. She looked at him and said,” I will go only if you tell me your names and then ask me instead of ordering me,” she told him as she crossed her arms. The other man laughed and then said,” My name is Masamune Date, lass,” he told her as he looked at the man standing next to him,” Hideyoshi Toyotomi,” he responded as he shoulders slumped and he placed his hand over his face, seeing how stubborn this girl is already.

He lowered his hand as he looked over at her,” Now that you know our names will you come with us please, miss?” he asked as he stood up straight once again,” I suppose I could do that, call me Tsubaki though, Tsubaki Hikoshi,” she responded as she followed them to their horses, accepting help from Masamune as he helped her onto his horse placing her in front of him. Getting on the horse behind her, Masamune looked at the outfit she was wearing. What looked like a school uniform top which was blue and a matching short skirt and tall sock with loafer shoes. He rose his brow as he looked at her from head to toe,” Your outfit may not be to Lord Nobunaga’s liking, but we don’t have the time to get you more appropriate attire,” he informed her as he snapped the reins on the horse.

They rode off with Hideyoshi following close behind them, she watched the things around them as they rode. “It’s so beautiful here,” she whispered causing Masamune to smile,” You should see Oshu,” he told her as they rode on. They didn’t stop until they reached the gates of the castle, once there they took the horses to the stables. Once they finished putting the horses up they walked towards the castle gates, she was in the middle as the other two were on either side of her.

Entering the building, she swallowed hard nervous about what could conspire from this meeting with the most notorious warlord in history, Oda Nobunaga. Reaching the dais Masamune and Hideyoshi bowed in greeting to Nobunaga and then left for their seats leaving her standing there alone. He had black hair with red eyes and wore a black kimono, seeing her standing there he sat up in his seat,” It would seem that I owe you my life, but why did you do it? So many want me dead, it could have been your chance,” he told her as he crossed his arms watching her suspiciously. “Honestly, I didn’t even know who you were, just thought we could die and did what I could to get us out of there,” she responded. Each warlord held a shocked expression,” You don’t know who I am?” he asked surprised himself.

She sighed as she looked at Nobunaga,” The truth you won’t believe but I will tell you anyway. I am from 500 years in the future, I was absorbed into a wormhole and dropped into that temple, that is how I got there. In the future your name is well known yes, but what you look like is not,” she explained. The warlords looked at each other with raised eyebrows as if they were not sure what to think of what she was saying. Nobunaga narrowed his eyes at her,” This is your truth?” he asked with an irritated edge to his tone. She nodded,” What is your name girl?” he asked as he stood snapping his fan open and closed in irritation. “Tsubaki Hikoshi,” she responded as she watched him as sweat drenched her back as if she knew what was going to happen,” Well, Tsubaki you will get to enjoy the hospitalities of the dungeon until I decide otherwise or if you want to tell me the truth,” he told her as he motioned at the guards.

She looked down at the ground,” I had a feeling he wouldn’t believe me,” she said under her breath as the guards escorted her to the dungeon. Walking between two guards, she was shoved into a cell as they took her items and her most prized possession, her bow. She reached out for it just to be pushed back farther into the cell as they shook their head at her,” If anything happens to that I will never forgive you!” she yelled after them as they walked off.

As they walked off, she slid against the wall to the floor hugging her knees. “I don’t know what to do now…” she said in despair as she looked out the window above her. The sky full of stars she closed her eyes and sent up a small prayer. As the guards returned to the main hall, none of the warlords said a word. Masamune frowned as he looked at Nobunaga not agreeing with it, thinking it should be looked into further but kept his thoughts to himself. Hideyoshi stood,” M’Lord, perhaps we should have her in a room with constant guards instead of in the dungeon where she could get sick?” as he asked Nobunaga turned and looked at him,” No, she stays until I say otherwise and anyone seen helping her well you know the consequences,” as he said this he turned on his heel and left the room.

The room echoed with ‘yes, m’lord’ but Hideyoshi and Masamune had looks that said they were plotting something. Outside, the sun had sunk, and the temperature dropped in the dungeon, inside Tsubaki was huddled up squeezing the only blanket around her for warmth. Sighing, she looked at the floor shivering,” so cold, I miss the heat from my time. This is just stupid cold,” she muttered squeezing the edges of the blanket that much closer together.

Watching from the edge of the dungeon, both Masamune and Hideyoshi though they didn’t want to show themselves at first. Hideyoshi seeing how cold she was left and soon came back with a blanket. He handed it to the guard,” her clothes aren’t meant for this weather, we don’t know if she is guilty or not so give this to her but don’t say who it is from,” he told him as he walked out with Masamune following. The guard nodded and walked over to her cell and pushed the blanket through the bars. “But who gave me this?” Tsubaki asked the guard ignored the question and walked back to his post.

From the second entrance to the dungeon, Nobunaga had been watching the exchange. Smirking, he walked off as if finding it amusing. As punishment for helping her, he had sent them to take care of several small-time jobs though he hadn’t told him that it was for a punishment, just that it needed to be done. He looked out the window in the castle main hall, “almost five days now,” he muttered as he focused on his work. The generals looked at each other confused about what he was muttering to himself about.

In the cell, Tsubaki was wrapped in both blankets though her shivering had yet to cease. She had developed a cough and was starting to feel hot and then cold off and on. She would often look up at the sky at night and make that same prayer to get out of the dungeon in one piece. A few more days passed, and she got worse, her appetite started to suffer because of it. The guard that had brought her last meal noticed that the one from that following morning was hardly touched. She had not left that corner of the cell since she was put in it, not once did she look at the guards that took care of her nor did she cry or beg for release.

“This girl isn’t like any I have met,” one guard told the other who nodded in agreement,” No tears, no sass, it’s like she’s in her own world. Though I am concerned, she hasn’t been eating for the past few days,” he told his comrade. He nodded sharing his concern as they looked over at her seeing her wrapped up looking out the small window in her cell. The following day was the same as before she had not eaten anything and remained in the same spot. Yet, when they looked in, she wasn’t sitting up but slumped over with ragged breathing, her body shivering vividly. The guard holding the food looked alarmed, “Hurry, run and inform Nobunaga that she needs a doctor and fast,” he told her as he watched in horror.

The guard nodded and ran out the door, was about to pass Masamune in a dash when he called out to him,” Halt soldier, why are you so panicked? Answer quick,” he asked crossing his arms looking at him. The guard stopped, bowed and said,” The prisoner has slumped over, and seems to be vividly shivering and her breathing seems off, I have to tell Lord Nobunaga that she needs a doctor,” he responded looking at him worried. Masamune turned to him,” Then you can add to your report that I have elected myself to be the one to take care of her. If he has a problem with it, he knows where to find me,” he told him as he turned on his heel and ran in the other direction to the dungeons. Blinking for a moment, the guard ran to the castle to give his report.

Entering the castle, the man ran to the dais and knelt on one knee,” Pardon the intrusion m’Lord, the prisoner seems to have fallen ill, I have been ordered to let you know by Lord Masamune that he has elected himself to nurse her to health and I am assuming that means that he left to retrieve her by force if necessary,” he told Nobunaga with a nervous bow as he pushed his face all the way to the ground. Nobunaga let out a quiet laugh,” He has, has he? Let him do as he wishes but there will be no damage allowed to my dungeon. If there is a single bar out of place, it comes out of your stipend, understand? You may want to hurry if you want to stop him,” Nobunaga told the man shaking with laughter.

The man nodding bowed and turned on his heel walking fast out of the room and once out of the room he was seen dashing towards the dungeon. Nobunaga had a grin on his face as if enjoying the events,” Daring as ever, Masamune,” he muttered to himself with amusement,” What will you do next, I wonder,” with those words he returned to the meeting the guard had interrupted. Back at the dungeon, the guard entered just as Masamune was about to draw his sword,” M’Lord please stay your weapon, Lord Nobunaga has given you leave to do what you wish so long as the dungeon stays intact,” he informed him as he bowed. Masamune took his hand off the hilt of his sword and looked over at the other guard with the keys and motioned at the door.

The guard opened the door quickly, shaking made it take longer to open the door. Masamune rushed into the cell to check on Tsubaki. He frowned as he heard her ragged breathing and saw her body shivering. He leaned her body against his own and wrapped her in his overcoat as well as the blankets already around her and walked out the door heading to an empty room not too far from his manor, this way he could check on her easily. He called for some maids as he found her a room, ordering some cold water and rags as well as a robe for her to sleep in. The maids nodded scrambling out of the door each returning with the requested items.

As one of the maids dressed her in the robe, so she was not in the now wet clothes from her own sweat he was working on preparing the rags for her fever. He looked to one of the maids,” Go to town, bring the best doctor you can find tell him it is urgent and that I was the one who sent you,” nervously the maid nodded and left town with two soldiers that he had sent with her. The maid that was dressing Tsubaki left the room, bowing to him she said,” she is in her new robe and I have washed all the sweat from her body and she is now resting in her bed,” he nodded at her with a smile,” Thank you, if you are not too busy I would like you to do that daily. If I were to, as an unmarried woman it would be inappropriate,” he told her.  She bowed once again,” It would be my honor to help her, m’lord,” she responded. He thanked her and took the bucket of hot water and the rags and went in her room placing one on her forehead.

As he adjusted the blankets over her, the maid walked in with a doctor. Immediately, Masamune stood and bowed to the doctor as he explained the symptoms, “That is not good, she may be quite ill,” he responded as he looked in his bag of herbs,” This may help with her breathing, mix some in some porridge and it should help her recover. The rest is up to her, “he told Masamune. Nodding, he accepted the bag of medicine bowing to him he said,” I will be sure to make sure she gets it, doctor. I will personally make her food and help feed it to her,” he informed the doctor. The doctor smiled at him, “Good,” he responded and with a bow he left the room and made his way back to town.

Right as the doctor left, Masamune started to make the porridge for her, making it thin enough that she could drink it since she wasn’t conscious, he mixed the medicine in it as his final touch. Once finished, he walked to her bedside and knelt beside her propping her head up with one hand he used the other to tip the porridge in her mouth making certain she swallowed it before laying her back down once it was gone. He then checked the rag and changed it to a fresh cool rag, washing the dishes he used he placed them near the sink and made his way out of her room.

Every he was doing this to help her health improve, one day on his way back to his manor Hideyoshi stopped him,” Masamune, let’s talk at your manor,” he suggested. Not seeing a problem with it Masamune shrugged it off, “Alright, let’s go then,” he responded as the two walked to his manor Hideyoshi looked over at him,” Why are you going out of your way for a woman that is supposed to be a prisoner?” he asked with narrowed eyes. This made Masamune stop dead in his tracks and turn and look at Hideyoshi,” That lass has not shown any reason to be treated as such. We do not know if she is guilty of lying or not, until we do, I will treat her like what she is a sick young lady,” he snapped as he crossed his arms glaring at Hideyoshi.

“What would you suggest we do to find out then?” Hideyoshi asked Masamune returning the glare. “Hideyoshi, you are only acting like this because you don’t want to defy Lord Nobunaga, you wanted to be the one to help her as much as I did. Don’t deny that, it is the type of man you are,” he told him bluntly he then paused for a moment thinking of a solution,” The confiscated items, perhaps checking them will bring to light her story, evidence does not lie,” he told Hideyoshi. Hearing his idea, Hideyoshi’s eyes lit up though he didn’t deny or admit what Masamune said about him, this had him taking it as the truth. After a moment, Hideyoshi turned and left for the castle to tell the idea to Nobunaga.

As soon as Masamune was walking past the threshold of his manor, Hideyoshi went through the castle doors and looked for Nobunaga to tell him about Masamune’s idea. Once he found him, he bowed to him, “Lord Nobunaga, I ran an idea by Masamune in finding her identity; he suggested going through the items we confiscated from her. I was told by the guards she was quite upset about losing what looks like a bow in fabric,” he told Nobunaga. Nobunaga tilted his head to the side as he rubbed his chin with his finger and thumb and then nodded,” I will allow it, in fact I will be the one to do it,” he responded as he got to his feet. “Gather the others, we will see what she has brought with her together, Masamune included,” he ordered as he gathered her bag and bow and left for the dais. Hideyoshi nodded and left to find his comrades.

Once everyone was gathered, Nobunaga sat in his seat holding the case holding the bow and a bag. “Since we are not able to ask her anymore questions at this time, I have decided to approve Masamune’s idea and look at what she has in her belongings to decide her fate,” he told everyone in the room. Each of them leaned in so they could see what was going on as he took items out of her bag. First, was the cell phone he looked at it confused, “No idea what that is, moving on,” he said as he took the next item out, which was an envelope with her name on it. He opened the envelope and pulled the paper out. “Her name is on it, and the names of two other people. Her birthday--how is that possible we have not made it to the 1900s yet,” he said as he looked at it in shock,” This is something called an adoption certificate,” he informed the warlords.

Not seeing a need to look at anything else in the bag, he put the phone back though he slipped the certificate back into its envelope and then put it in his kimono. He then grabbed the case from the floor and carefully opened it, inside was a beautiful long bow. Engraved on it was her name and several engravings of her favorite flower, the lotus flower. He pulled it the rest of the way out of the case,” This is a beautiful bow, she has never used it on people it seems it looks so fresh and new the string not overused, I don’t think she has seen the battlefield,” he explained as he looked it over.

One of the warlords, a man wearing a yellow kimono which matched his hair color stood, his sea-green eyes narrowing as he looked at the bow,” m’Lord would it be possible for me to look at it?” he asked with a bow. Nobunaga nodded, motioning for him to come closer to him. As he came closer and was handed the bow, he looked at it from top to bottom,” This bow has been taken care of quite well, I agree with your assessment m’lord,” he said as he handed it back to him and returned to his seat.

“Well, now that it has Ieyasu’s approval any other opinions to add?” he asked as he looked from face to face. A man with silver hair and yellow snake-like eyes shook his head as he adjusted his blue and white kimono so that he wasn’t uncomfortable. The man next to him, had silver hair as well though unlike him he had purple eyes and wore a purple kimono, “no, m’lord” he responded. He nodded, “Thank you Mitsuhide and Mitsunari, then we are all in agreement, she was not lying and is not a threat to us. I am no sure of her age, but regardless all of you must see to her protection until she shows herself capable of protecting heself,” he ordered as he replaced the bow in it’s case. All of he warlords bowed and ‘yes, m’lord’ was echoed through the room. Once he finished zipping the case up, he handed the bag and case to Masamune,” She is allowed to have these back now, let me know when she is better, I would like to talk with her again,” he told him as he stood from his seat.

Accepting the items from Nobunaga, Masamune nodded,” Of course, m’lord once the lass is well, I will send a messenger post haste,” he responded with a bow. Nodding, Nobunaga left the room dismissing all the warlords. As the warlords left the room, Hideyoshi and Masamune exchanged looks though didn’t say anything as they too went their own way. Masamune went to check on Tsubaki in her room, seeing him approaching the maids bowed in greeting,” Has she woken up yet?” he asked as he stopped at the door, the maids shook their heads with a shared worried expression. He let out a worried sigh and entered the room. He placed her things near her bed, propping the bow in a corner and left for the kitchen.

Once again, he made the porridge with medicine in it and helped her to drink it before changing the rag across her forehead. Just as he was about to stand, her hand shot around his wrist, “Don’t go, please,” she pleaded weakly looking at him with her blue and green eyes. Smiling a wry smile, he sat down next to her,” You have beautiful eyes, lass, I only know one other person with them, and he is an enemy,” he told her with a laugh. She smiled weakly as she listened to him talk and slowly, she drifted back to sleep loosening her grip around his wrist.

It had been two weeks since she had been moved into her room, everyone who had met her was worried she may not wake up. While the maid was washing Tsubaki, removing her sweat she noticed her stir and her eyes opened. She looked at the maid seeming a bit confused, the maid stopped what she was doing and bowed to her,” Pardon me, m’lady. I was told to help keep your body clean while you were unconscious so you would get better,” she told her frantic as if worried she would get yelled at.

Tsubaki sat up and looked at her and then her surroundings, “Don’t worry about it, I appreciate you taking the time to look after me,” she told her with a soft voice as she leaned over in her bed to do a half bow. The maid panicked, shaking her hands, “Please, don’t bow to me I am no one important,” she told her panic stricken. Tsubaki looked at her,” If that were true, I doubt I would be better now and would still be in my dirty clothes. You may think what you do is little, but if not for you and the other maids’ places like this could not function. Though your status may be lower than those that you serve, don’t sell yourself short, you are just as important,” she told her with a smile. The maid, looking like she was about to cry bowed,” Please excuse me,” she said as she left the room.

Masamune had been outside the door listening to them, a smile crept across his face,” Valuing even the lower status people, she would make a good ruler,” he muttered to himself as he knocked on the door. “Yes? Who is it?” Tsubaki asked as she started to get up,” Don’t get out of your bed, Tsubaki it’s me Masamune, I’m here to check on you and to make you some food so stay put in your bed,” he ordered. Surprised she sat back down only able to respond with, “Ok,” as he came inside her room.

“It is good to see that you are awake, soon you will be well enough to come and go as you please, once you are better Nobunaga was wanting to see you, but wait until you are fully healed,” he told her as he was making her food. “Alright,” she responded as she watched him make the porridge. “You should make some for yourself too,” she told him causing him to smile he nodded,” Alright, I think I will. Always is better to eat together than by yourself,” he responded with a smile as he walked to her bed and sat next to her handing her porridge to her.

“I think you made that Maid’s day, telling her that you appreciate her like that,” he told Tsubaki as he took a bite of his food. She looked at him,” All I said was the truth, is it that big of a deal?” she asked eating some of her food. He looked at her,” A very big deal, most maids aren’t treated very well so to hear your words, it’s like a dream come true for them,” he told her with a serious expression,” Not many higher classed citizens are kind to their servants,” he added as he ate more of his food. She took in what he said and thought over it,” Then, I am glad I told her that, “ she responded after a pause.

Later that day, as Masamune was walking back from the castle to check on Tsubaki, he was stopped by Hideyoshi, “Wait a minute, I want to talk to you Masamune, don’t you go and get close to her and then break her heart by playing around or something, I doubt she will understand how you are,” he told him with a serious expression. Masamune looked at him laughing,” How I play? You’re one to speak, you get at least a hundred letters from different women a day, should you be lecturing me I wonder? Besides, if something were to happen between her and I, it would be our business not your’s or anyone else’s for that matter,” he snapped as he turned on his heel and walked off leaving Hideyoshi standing there watching his back fade out of view.

[rwbyconversations]

The Princess and her Pauper- A Weiss/Emerald Character Contrast

One of the greatest weapons in the arsenal of a creator is the art of contrast. In storytelling, characters that contrast, often referred to as foils, can serve to highlight particular qualities of each other. How one acts to a situation and the other reacts. It’s why rivalries form the backbone of many a great story with conflict in its theme- why the most memorable moments in action titles like Devil May Cry 3 and Metal Gear Rising are when two rivals who serve as foils for each other come to blows in a winner-take-all clash of wills. Not all foils need be rivals, however- George and Lennie in Of Mice and Men are built as foils, with George being wire-thin and razor-sharp mentally while Lennie is a lumbering giant of a man with the intellect of a child. 

Rooster Teeth’s RWBY is a series that loves to set up connections between its central heroes of Team RWBY and the villainous factions under Salem. Although the connections between current villains Team WTCH and RWBY have not yet been solidified (Watts screentime when), RWBY’s initial foes in Team CRME (Cinder, Roman, Mercury and Emerald) all complimented aspects of RWBY’s personalities. Ruby and Cinder were both leaders, Ruby through example and optimism and Cinder through manipulation and fear, Blake dual-contrasted with Adam and Roman, Yang with Mercury and (regardless of what TVTropes tells you), Weiss contrasts with the sharp-tongued, fast-fingered gem thief Emerald Sustrai. 

Despite having not technically met in canon*, with their appearances relegated to sharing fights in the Volumes 2 and 3 OP, with their dialogue being two lines in a Chibi episode, Weiss and Emerald are almost perfect narrative foils for each other. I am convinced that they were purposefully written to contrast each other, and if/when Emerald has a redemption arc, you can be sure that this material will be used to show how similar Weiss and Emerald can be... not that either of them would admit it. And for the record? This is my OTP and Weiss and Emerald rank in my five favorite characters each, so this is going to be a self-indulgent mess. Consider it my two and three hundred follower specials wrapped into a neat little bow.

In this post, I am going to show the narrative, backstory and character contrasts between Weiss Schnee and Emerald Sustrai, and why I think they could have one of the best-written rivalries/friendships/bond in the entire show if Miles and Kerry play their cards right in the coming Volumes. As usual, the post is under the Read More for the sake of users on their phones.

(Art source: @nibbles-scribbles)

* (In before “Didn’t Weiss fight Em at Haven during the Checkmate scene?” offscreen doesn’t count and Let’s Not Talk About Haven This Is A Happy Post)

Part 1-  Lonely eyes, well, it sure looks like you just might be looking for something

Weiss and Emerald’s backstories on paper couldn’t be any different- which, again, is one of the purposes of narrative contrasts, connecting the impossible. Weiss lived in the lap of luxury her entire life, part of a family that probably had the combined net worth of half of the Fortune 500. The Schnee Dust Company was such a profitable venture that it bought out rival families and took them out of business. Weiss’s every need was catered for, she had a loyal servant in Klein, and became a popular attraction at parties thanks to her singing voice.

And she couldn’t have been more soul-crushingly alone. 

A young Weiss sits at a piano, basking in the praise of the adults around her

Weiss, narration: Words of praise were often overflowing around me. Whatever I did, with a little effort, I did better than average. I expected the praise as a matter of course and believed I deserved it all. As the daughter of the Schnee house, I would be the best. Nothing else would do. 

Weiss reaches out to her father who is walking away from her. The door shuts in her face. Weiss’s face comes into the panel. The smile is gone. 

Weiss, narration: My father felt the same way. So his indifference... was expected.  - RWBY Manga,Shirow Miwa

Weiss was little more than a toy when she was a child, something Jacques brought out for the guests to coo at, but they never cared for Weiss herself: 

Everyone only cared that I was part of the Schnee family, not that I was me. They were honoring the Schnee name. I thought all that praise was for me. It wasn’t. It messed with my head when I figured that out.

Weiss’s Volume 5 focus song, and the first chronological song about her, The Path to Isolation (AKA Mirror Mirror 0.5), is about when Weiss realizes how alone she is in Atlas with the realization that people only care about her for her money and surname, and not for Weiss as a person. We see this in person with her interactions with Henry Marigold in Volume 4 and Jacques spells it out later:

I don’t give a damn what you want! This isn’t about you!  

Miwa’s manga alongside Path To Isolation makes it clear that Weiss lived in the lap of luxury, but it was a cold, sterile lap where she never felt loved even with Klein’s presence and Winter’s distant love, thanks to Jacques’ distance driving Weiss further into her personal hell. Weiss lived a tragically lonely life in her childhood and its effects are still seen on her even in the present day. For a long time, all she was was an accessory to Jacques who got pushed into his obedient shadow.

Emerald’s backstory is less concrete than Weiss, but from what we do know it’s no less painful. She lived alone on the city streets with no parents (dead or neglectful we don’t know) or friends to look out for her, and every day was a struggle to survive. By the time we see Emerald in Volume 3′s flashback, she’s barely holding it together and is stick-thin.

Her clothes are frayed in various places, held together with belts and straps, and Emerald is nearly emaciated. She’s jumpy, paranoid and resorts to blatant daytime robbery of a jewel store just to cover the costs to get some food for a night. When Cinder finds Emerald, she finds a cornered street-rat barely staying alive. 

If Jacques manipulated Weiss through inaction, Cinder in turn twisted Emerald through action, providing the young thief everything she ever wanted. Cinder gave her a warm bed, food whenever she wanted it and possibly even the love of the mother that Emerald might not have had. Chibi Season 3 in fact had a skit where Emerald (within a dream) jokingly notes that Cinder really is “The mother figure I may- or may not- have never had.” Regardless, Cinder learned from Salem the best way to get people to follow you is to give them exactly what they want. She gave Roman some Dust and a chance to commit crimes, she gave Mercury a target and people to hurt, and she gave Emerald a sick, twisted lie. She made Emerald fall in love with her. 

I don’t care about Salem! But I owe Cinder everything.

Cinder twists Emerald around her finger and makes her almost entirely dependent on Cinder’s approval and love. And make no mistake, this is (at least from Emerald’s warped perspective, the poor girl) love. 

This is not the face of a heterosexual woman upon seeing Cinder Fall. 

Em sadly closing her eyes behind Cinder just... gets me, man. I care for that mint-ice-cream too much Jesus Christ.

Cinder, of course, doesn’t love her back. I don’t think Cinder knows what it means to love beyond that she can use other people’s love in her pursuit of power. She manipulated and tricked Emerald, making the thief fall for her in a worthless attempt to impress her. And every time Emerald stepped remotely out of line, even if by complete unintentional accident, Cinder harshly made her judgement clear and forced Emerald back into her obedient shadow. Cinder definitely didn’t love Emerald. But damn if she didn’t know how to abuse her.  

Emerald: We don’t need him (Mercury), everything was going fine- A slap is heard. Emerald shouts in pain. Cinder: Do not mistake your place.

As pointed out expertly by @alexkablob, Emerald’s body language when Cinder gets angry in this scene is very telling- she almost shrinks and hides herself, trying very hard to avoid Cinder’s wrath in that immediate moment. The mere threat of reprisal has Emerald assuming a more subservient position

Here’s what connects Weiss and Emerald from their backstories. Both had terribly lonely childhoods, with Weiss lonely in a crowd as she realized people only loved her for her money and name, and Emerald forced to live alone as a street rat with no one to rely on. Jacques manipulated Weiss through making her seek his approval which manifested as physical abuse, and Cinder as well manipulated and abused Emerald into falling in love with Cinder or seeing her as a replacement mother figure. Both were lonely children, abused and scorned by everyone around them, especially those who had the most direct power over them. Both of them, tragically, are victims of those above them who see them as tools and not even as people. Ones who occasionally fall out of line and need... percussive maintenance to fix. Weiss and Emerald have some of the darkest backstories in RWBY and in their tragedy, they compliment each other beautifully. 

(Source: @nibbles-scribbles, who gave me permission to use her art)

Part 2: Sight Unseen

Now that we’ve covered their backstories, let’s actually contrast Emerald and Weiss on a fighting and character level. 

Weiss and Emerald fight each other in the OPs for Volumes 2 and 3. They are so far on the very small list of fights in the OPs that have never occurred and are in fact the only notable fight to not happen ever four years since it was first teased, especially since it happened in two sequences. 

Both characters use revolver mechanisms in their weapons- Weiss for her Dust and Emerald for a ranged component. Both are agile fighters who dart around the battlefield and can be very damaging in the right circumstances and are the most fragile member of their respective teams (Weiss having the worst solo win/loss record of anyone on RWBY and Emerald being a stealth fighter who dropped very quickly when Amber focused fire on her being my evidence). 

What’s interesting in contrasting the two is their Semblances. Emerald creates vivid hallucinations for a single target that effects all five of their senses but ultimately is a purely mental effect on the subject’s reality. Her Semblance can’t create physical matter. However, Weiss’s Semblance is a purely physical one that lets her influence and change reality on a primal, physical level- be it for Glyphs, time dilation or using Summoning to create physical constructs to fight for her. Depending on if Weiss’s Summons can be affected by Emerald’s hallucinations (or if Weiss being hit with Em’s Semblance has consequences for her Summons), the two could serve as hard counters in the event of a fight. 

Long story short a fight between these two would be really cool.

Character wise, one of the more interesting bits of contrast between Weiss and Emerald is how they approach friendship. Both are equally sardonic and have razor-sharp wits on anyone who irks them, but while Weiss is cold at first and softens as she gets to know and trust people, Emerald throws up a facade of being chummy with people, a facade she hates. If her friendship with Mercury is anything to go by, Emerald can make some very biting remarks at the expense of those she’s close to. If her love for Cinder is anything to go by however, Emerald is very tender and affectionate when it comes to the people she loves. She rushes to give Cinder a hug in Volume 2 and in Volume 4, acts as Cinder’s translator, being almost sickeningly tender and rushing to come to Cinder’s side when she asks. 

And while Emerald’s a villain, it would be a shame to waste a rivalry between her and Weiss. Both are passionately devoted to their leaders and are willing to cross the world for them and fight in this endless war for them (note how Weiss volunteers for the war while Emerald is drafted). Emerald hates Ruby because she maimed Cinder at Beacon, while Weiss hates Cinder because... bitch shoved a spear in her. It’s more than enough conflict to kickstart a rivalry and as proven despite their lack of screentime, the contrasts between them write themselves.

Part 3) Dry your eyes now, baby, broken wings can’t hold you down

In the event (by which I mean when) Emerald undergoes a redemption arc and leaves Cinder, Weiss will definitely play a significant role in facilitating her joining the heroes, much like Blake did with Ilia. Weiss is honestly the only RWBY member who really can facilitate this redemption in the coming Volumes- Ruby will likely never forgive Emerald for her role in Penny’s death, Blake has basically done this arc already for Ilia, and Yang will be too caught up in her Raven/Blake issues. I have no doubt that Blake’s own abusive past can be used as a bonding point as well with Emerald (a common vector used for fans of the rare ship Cat Burglar), but Weiss perhaps more than anyone else shares a fundamental understanding of Emerald’s “love.” The love of someone determined to win any shred of approval that they can from the monster that haunts their nightmares every night. 

Given how Emerald has allusions to Aladdin and Weiss is Snow White, their relationship also works in referencing their fairytale sources- Aladdin saves Jasmine in his story, after all. Rags to ritches is also one of the most prolific tales out there, especially ones where a person destined for greatness falls in love with a member of high society and rises through the ranks. Weiss is a princess after all, and every princess does need her pauper so that she may find true love. Weiss has already tried her hand as the upper echelons of society romantically (Henry and Neptune) and they were found lacking.  

(Source. Art by @nibbles-scribbles​)

In some cases, literally. 

Does this need to mean a romantic connection, especially when Emerald will be coming off her last lover being abusive? Perhaps not, but a close bond between them would be impossible to avoid. However, a romantic attachment between Emerald and Weiss would be a beautiful thing to see develop. Two women, nearly broken down by their oppressive abusers, coming together and helping each other heal from their past traumas? I don’t know about you but that sounds like it could be a great story to me. Emerald already wears a lot of white too, so their color schemes unite smoothly. 

To conclude this extended love letter, Emerald and Weiss are two sides of the same coin. Young women beaten down and abused by those with power over them who had desperately lonely childhoods. Women who developed into strong and capable warriors with Semblances that altar different facets of reality, who could have a natural rivalry that leads into a smooth friendship and maybe even more beyond, all of which could be backed by organic references to both of their fairytale sources and allow for a wonderful string of character development for Weiss and Emerald as they heal from their past traumas. This may be a rare ship, one that may have gotten all the references it ever will when Emerald complimented Weiss’s dress.

But damnit. It’s my rare ship and I’ll go down with it, I’ve made too many great friends thanks to it. If you’d like to see more EmWeiss content, check out my great friends @goldibox, @dabby-the-house-elf (the main for @nibbles-scribbles whose seminal art I’ve used throughout this piece), SassyUnicorn7′s A Fight To Remember (one of the best fanfics for both EmWeiss and Yang/Merc, and Sassy herself is a delight to know who lights up my day when I get to talk to her).

(Thanks to @weisscoldglare for this)

Thanks again for reading. 

[travisfranks]

A China Study Tour in Pictures

As part of my creative writing degree at RMIT I was given the amazing opportunity to go to Guangzhou and Yangshuo, China, to put together a collaborative anthology with students at Sun Yat-sen. Here is what the 12 days looked like...

Following Paul, and hightailing it across Sun Yat-sen campus. 

Paul was an amazing and wonderful welcoming ambassador, always ready to help everyone dot their i’s and cross their t’s. After an unexpected tragedy early in the tour, a lot of people willingly stepped forward and made sure the study tour went ahead, keeping a lot of independently moving pieces moving in the same direction. 

Nat and Matt on a stroll along the Pearl River, just above the SYSU campus. 

It’s a hive of activity in the mornings and evenings. One of the things I love about China most is the energy of so many people spilling out into public places. While out jogging one morning, I also came across Lisa sitting alone, just near here, scribbling into her notebook and soaking up the China vibe...

Each morning involved a mad dash across campus to find coffee before classes and meetings began. From the hotel it was at least a good 20 minute walk, occasionally preceding a 10 minute jog to get back, depending on how long it took for the coffee to be made. 

On the first day we found a cafe called  Fashion Coffee Design, or another combination of three seemingly unrelated words. It was closed every other day we went past. Eight of us had inundated the sole barista with coffee orders in one hit. I think we may have overwhelmed her. 

Michelle and Nat recline while waiting for their coffees to arrive. 

There were several occasions when SYSU students joined RMIT students for meals and social occasions. Not always familiar with the traditions and etiquette of the Chinese dining table, they sometimes had to explain how certain things were done. 

For varying reasons, food was a source of discomfort for several students gently nudged outside their comfort zone. Ashlea in particularly, being vegetarian, found it difficult to find food she could eat. Others were really able to embrace their adventurous side, and try things they would never have thought to try before. After all, it’s not that often in Australia you’ll be served a whole fish, head included.

After our very first meeting with the SYSU students, some of them took us to one of their usual go-to restaurants just off campus. 

Others, like Jules, were able to find ways of compromising. Each morning at the Kaifeng Hotel, students strolled through the buffet area before sitting down to assemble some very unusual breakfasts.

Despite very much feeling like foreigners in another city, it didn’t take long for us to get used to the enormity of Guangzhou, to feel at home among the towers of Haizhu each day, seeing small slivers or the Pearl River in the gaps between the concrete and glass. 

Our host, Professor Dai Fan, stands in the drizzle on our first day in Yangshuo to familiarise us with the area, and the stunning surrounding landscape. 

It was here we were to put the final touches to the edited pieces for the anthologies, and make titles for each, and then begin the long list of production tasks. While also enjoying one of the most beautiful places any of us had ever been. 

It was an eerie way to be introduced to the other-worldly landscape of Yangshou, shrouded in rainclouds. 

Shine, one of the SYSU master’s students, and Shona conversing in the mist and drizzle under the cover of parasols. Shine was a very valuable last-minute addition to the study tour.

Nat blends in with the stunning landscape...

The villa we stayed in, which is the usual place Professor Dai takes her artists in residence, is surrounded by layer upon layer of majestic land formations. It’s overwhelming, the first time you’re confronted with such unfamiliar beauty. At several moments I was unable to shake the surreal sensation of being on another planet pretending to be earth. Or that they were sleeping gods, their dormant bodies covered with centuries-old dirt, and at any moment might sneeze and wake up the other sleeping gods sprawled across the landscape. 

Everyone fell in love with Yangshuo. 

Georgie jumps for joy in her newly bought threads. 

Nat, in the shade of the Scholar’s Walk. 

Riverside dining. A friendly and rather vocal cat came to clean the dishes before we left. 

One morning we were given the special opportunity to witness the folk tradition of shan’ge, ‘Mountain song’, in which two groups sing dialogue back and forth to each other. In earlier years, it was sung while people worked in the fields, and the singers would collaborate in teams to create impromptu lyrics, singing their replies to what they had heard sung to them. Professor Dai translated for us after each round, so we knew what they were singing. They (the men) would begin with flirtatious flattery, to which the ladies would be impervious, leading to  a pretend disagreement. It was a great opportunity to witness Chinese humour at play. 

After the mountain songs, we walked into the bustling downtown area of Yangshou, which somehow still manages to be incredibly beautiful. 

Some unusual sculptures. 

One of the highlights of the tour was Impression Sanjie Liu, an elaborate dance and light show out on the water, with a cast of more than 500. We were the very last to leave. Directly after the show, the young people in the cast were kept behind to rehearse for the next performance the following day. The director hadn’t been happy with their performance. We had been almost speechless at the spectacle. 

Ashlea and Pallavi guard the bags at Yangshuo railway station while everyone else finds fried chicken and train snacks for the trip back to Guangzhou. It was a sad moment, to leave the peace and quiet of the hills, the evening sunsets over the river. But we had managed to have a productive time there, and most of the remaining tasks for the anthology had either been completed, or organised. 

Back at SYSU, on our last day, some of us met with the second year students, splintered off into smaller groups and discussed private writing practices and techniques, our favourite genres, poetry, and of course, food; a staple of Chinese conversation. 

As is often the case with these kinds of trips, you spend a great amount of time preparing yourself for something that is ‘coming up’. And then you’re suddenly in the midst of it. There is so much happening all around you, and so much of it is unexpected. There are flashing lights and loud noises and blurred movements, there are different emotions (again, many of them unexpected); everything is an intensified whirlwind of energy and creativity. You’re meeting new people in places you’ve never been and doing things, so many, many things you’ve never done. And then all of a sudden it’s over. And you’re exhausted, and tired, and perhaps a little weepy when you weren’t expecting to be. All that time you spent trying to mentally prepare yourself has led you through the intended course of what you set out to do. It’s drawn to a close, and you’re not really sure what to make of it all, because a part of you is relieved, a part of you wants it to keep going, a part of you is sad that it’s over, another part is ready to move on or head home. And then a week has passed, and then two weeks, and the whole thing almost instantly feels like the distant past, or something that happened to someone else you know, but not you, and the dust of reality, the submergence into the mundane and everyday has begun to settle on your memory of the adventure that had always been before you, only now it’s behind. 

I’m not sure I can articulate how grateful I am to have been a part of something so special. To have bridged such a wide physical and mental gap, between Australia and China, is not an opportunity that presents itself often. To have formed new friendships with people in Guangzhou, with people in my own course I hadn’t connected with before, even the graduating third years who joined us on the study tour. It revealed a lot, about ourselves to ourselves, and to each other, about what it means to bring so many different people into one creative space and create something that can reflect us all in a way that we would like to be reflected. What a journey...

[brettaresco]

The Many and the One

Adolf Hitler

Charles Manson

Bernie Madoff

  Dylan Klebold

Adam Lanza

Dylann Roof

What’s the difference between these two lists?

Let’s start with the similarities.  First, inescapably, both contain only white men.  Second, all of those white men have done horrible, most would say evil, things. The degrees of evil vary, and it must be said that one of the above never directly physically harmed anyone. Third, all of the names are instantly recognizable to most Americans.

Now for the differences. Well, the one major difference. Though the scope may differ, those on the first list are each associated with a specific type of cruelty.  Those on the second list are all notorious for the same thing.

What am I getting at?

Call me crazy, but I think the second list should have only one name.

Think about it:

 Adolf Hitler: Genocide (and general evil)

Charles Manson: Murderous cults

Bernie Madoff: Massive financial fraud

When discussing these men’s crimes, their names carry a singular weight.  They have come to embody the atrocities they committed, to the point where the mere mention of their names inspires anger in the present and caution for the future.  We have an important, understandable shorthand for talking about what each man symbolizes. For each, we have one major point of reference- one that guides our actions away from their horrific acts.

When we talk about gun violence in America, we have many.

It doesn’t have to be this way.  Whenever a tragedy like the recent shooting in Las Vegas happens in America (seemingly every other month or so), some bring up Australia.  It’s become cliché.  Why?  Well, because, unlike here in America, Australia’s list has one name: Martin Bryant.  His semiautomatic rifle attack in 1996 was the deadliest mass shooting in Australian history.  After a swift and decisive government response, Australia’s number of gun deaths per 100,000 people began steadily dropping- as of 2015 it stands at .93, down from 2.84 in 1996.

Now, never having been to Australia, I have no idea how people talk about Martin Bryant (though I know a little of how they talk about US mass shootings).  I’m not sure if Bryant is indeed, so to speak, the Hitler of their gun violence. But considering the impact of his heinous crime and the lasting effect of Australia’s response to it (which involved the creation of an arms registry, stricter licensing, and a massive gun buyback program), I have a hard time believing he’s not.  And even if he isn’t, wouldn’t we in America love to have only one major reference point for senseless death at the hands of guns? One that would allow all others to slowly fade into the fog of history?  As this article points out re: Bryant’s spree, “There had been previous mass shootings in Australia, but none in recent times of this magnitude.”  To put things in context, Bryant’s attack (known as the Port Aurthur massacre) killed 35 and wounded 23.  The attack that just occurred in Las Vegas killed 50 people and wounded over 500.

And yet… does anybody think Stephen Paddock will become “the one”?

Let’s face it: America has a gun problem.  At this point, anybody who doesn’t think so is willfully ignorant.  Now, are there legitimate arguments to be made for how best to deal with that problem?  Absolutely. But I think we’ve seen, time and time again, that doing nothing is not the answer.  Which is exactly what I would say to anybody who claims that I, like millions of others searching for anything that we as a populace can do to make sure something like this doesn’t happen yet again, am “politicizing the issue.”  Unfortunately, it’s political.  And it has been for some time.  We can simultaneously grieve for those brutally murdered and make sure more don’t suffer the same fate.  In fact, it’s what we are obliged to do.

I wouldn’t claim to know why exactly it’s been so hard for Americans to do anything about guns despite our long (and relatively recent) history of mass shootings.  But keeping with the numbers theme of this column, I’m willing to venture a guess:

America has a context problem.

There are certain things that Americans, and all humans, find easy to understand.  We like connections; if we can assign blame or causality (or even correlation) to events, we’re much more comfortable both with a particular issue and how to deal with it.  It’s why the Iraq war made so much sense to so many.  Who took down the Twin Towers?  Terrorists.  Where were the terrorists from?  The Middle East.  Was Saddam Hussein a bad guy?  Sure. And boom: one of the longest and least necessary wars in American history.

With gun violence, as we’ve seen time and time again, even correlation is hard to find.  Well, aside from the obvious.  That’s because, though we’ve had gun attacks in the name of, for instance, radical Islamic terrorism (San Bernadino, Fort Hood), most of the mass shootings in this country have been unconnected (the famous “lone wolf” phenomenon).  And often, there are no signs that the gunman was a danger beforehand.

Such is the case with this most recent attack.  

In the aftermath of the shooting, Las Vegas Police Sherriff Joseph Lombardo was quoted as saying “We had no knowledge of this individual.  I don't know how it could have been prevented.”  Was Paddock some sort of religious or political zealot?  "We have no idea what his belief system was," Lombardo said.  When interviewed yesterday, the shooter’s own brother echoed both sentiments.  “The fact that he had those kind of weapons is just – where the hell did he get automatic weapons?” Eric Paddock said. “He has no military background or anything like that. He’s just a guy who lived in a house in Mesquite, drove down and gambled in Las Vegas.”

Just a guy.  Who lived in a house in Mesquite.  And legally owned 42 guns.

And therein lies the problem.  Anytime something as powerful as the automatic (or semiautomatic functioning as an automatic) weapon Paddock reportedly used in his senseless attack is available to any human being, there is an element of chance.  We are surrounded by randomness in our society- randomness that explains how difficult it is to prevent even detectable, related terrorist attacks.  We are also more connected than ever, with more stimuli than ever.  Any single one of those stimuli may at any point cause someone to fly off the handle.  That loss of control is nothing new.  But what’s the variable that makes it deadly?  Guns.  Lots and lots of powerful guns.

The other part of America’s context problem more directly involves numbers.  I'm constantly amazed at our inability (or unwillingness) to understand scope with regards to the "debate" about gun violence (I actually think a lot of us are unable to understand scope with regard to any disaster, natural or manmade, because many of us have not had to deal with death on a regular basis.  There are people living in horrible circumstances in America, but few like the Rohingya).  Regardless, when we talk about shootings (especially those of us who defend our current gun laws), we too often invoke the famous axiom of someone who belongs on this column’s first list, Josef Stalin: "One death is a tragedy.  One million is a statistic."  In an America with stricter gun laws (and tighter monitoring of the number and type of guns in circulation), an attack such as last night's still could've happened.  But I ask you, in all seriousness: How many people would have died?  10?  20?  Surely fewer than 58.  And none if the attack had been prevented altogether, which at the very least would have been easier if there were fewer guns in circulation (I challenge anyone to argue that point).

We see lone wolf and terrorist attacks all the time- two women were killed in France just days ago.  But that was carried out with a knife.  And even in attacks in countries with strict gun laws in which guns were procured illegally, the casualties are fewer.  We have to ask ourselves: why is that?  Is it possibly - possibly - because there aren't 23 guns involved?  And, maybe - just maybe - they're less likely to be automatic or semiautomatic?  And then, after asking ourselves these questions, we must return to Stalin’s heartless astuteness- it would take 29 of the recent Paris attacks to approximate the Vegas attack (minus the hundreds of injuries).  And yet... we treat each as one incident.  Those who believe in unfettered (or less stringent) gun laws (usually on the right) will point (and have pointed) to the Paris attack and similar ones prior as a way to deflect from the one in Vegas.  And this false equivalency completely ruins our ability to put things in context.

I for one believe that, while favorite bogeymen ISIS and radical Islamic terrorism represent a threat to our world (East and West, Christian and Muslim (and Jewish, and Buddhist, and nonreligious...)), the far greater threat is fear.  Though we cannot know this shooter's motive (and he was likely mentally ill- though I would argue anyone who shoots someone out of anything but self-defense is mentally ill), I'd like to see one person argue that the general populace is happier or less fearful than it was five years (or even five weeks) ago.  And though fear itself may not be a fatal problem, and can easily be conquered, it can cause people to do strange things.  Strange, random, sometimes drastic things.  As we've seen throughout human history, these things will happen- it's just a matter of where and when.  But also, most crucially, it is a matter of how.

In our lifetimes, we've seen mass murderers use planes and we've seen them use cars.  Yet we as a society have determined that whatever threat is posed by the improper use of these technologies is far outweighed by their benefits.  And even then, the registration and operation of both are tightly controlled.  Like everything else in life, preventing death on any scale is an issue of pros and cons.  So what, exactly, is the calculus on assault rifles?  On semiautomatic weapons?  Even on handguns?  Do we ever actually bother to make the list, or do we just keep kicking the can down the road?

To me, all of this seems obvious.  And I'm far from the only person saying it.  So why then is nothing getting done?  Still?  The incident in Las Vegas is now the deadliest mass shooting in American history. Whether or not we treat it as such, this is our Port Aurthur massacre.  To be fair, as the above article says, dealing with gun control in America is a lot more difficult than in Australia.  But it’s not impossible.  What does it say about us that we can’t at least ban assault weapons (like we once did)?  While we’re at it, why not ban any and all automatic and semiautomatic weapons (and attachments like “attachable cranks” that allow other weapons to function as such)?  Prostitution is illegal (in almost all states).  Marijuana is illegal (in almost all states).  And yet semiautomatic (and some automatic) weapons are widely legal and available?  What is this country?

Seriously, what has become of America?  We're the country of entrepreneurship, of drive.  We are a nation of immigrants founded on taking risks.  And yet somehow, not just with gun control but with healthcare, tax reform, etc., we've become hesitant to take risks.  Why?  Because of “congressional gridlock”?  Try something.  It’s not like we don’t have a margin for error.  We’re the richest country in the world with the strongest military. What’s the worst that can happen? We might save one million lives; we might only save one.  But guess what?  That one life may be yours.  Talk about a context problem- how, even after the horrible, unprovoked attack on a senator earlier this year, can every single member of Congress not wake up every day thinking “that could have been me”?  And once we’ve done something, anything, even the smallest thing to decrease the number of guns (and thus the chance of random, unforeseen shootings) in this country, what will we have we lost in return?  I’ll wait.

There is, of course, another problem of a similar nature facing our country.  It too involves a long list of names but, more respectfully, of the victims.  Trayvon Martin.  Alton Sterling.  Philando Castile.  Michael Brown.  Sandra Bland. There are countless more on that list that have necessarily and appropriately been forced into our consciousness.  That list should also contain only one name.  As with guns, we need to take action so that there are no more unnecessary deaths at the hands of law enforcement.  But, whether we like it or not, those deaths are less directly attributable to a widespread problem. That’s not to say there aren’t issues that we can tackle, though- as this is a column about guns, I’ll save my righteous indignation on that point for another day, and let John Oliver handle it in the meantime.

The bottom line is, as Americans, we need to start having the hard conversations.  We need to start holding our representatives’ feet to the fire.  More than that, we need to start holding our fellow citizens accountable.  Let’s talk.  We bemoan intolerance on both sides but it seems too often that the conversation ends there.  Engage. That means not backing down and thinking, as I often have, "Well, this conversation isn't gonna go anywhere, so it's best to drop it."  I’m as guilty as anyone- there are people in my life who believe in that mass shootings can be prevented by one responsible citizen with a gun.  Often, I don’t engage with them about the issue.  I think it’s a lost cause.  But when people are dying, there’s no such thing as a lost cause.

Let me repeat: People are dying.  More people were killed two nights ago than in any other shooting in American history.  Not by some shadow actor, not by some government conspiracy, but by some average Joe with guns. 

Just like Dylan Klebold.

Or Adam Lanza,

Dylann Roof,

Omar Mateen,

Seung-hui Cho,

or James Holmes.

There are many names on that list.  And by the time this problem is solved - or, at the very least, mitigated -  there may be many more. 

Here’s hoping that someday, there will only be one.

PS- In fairness to one of the worst people in history, I found out in writing this that Stalin may not have actually said his iconic quote about death.  Regardless, the sentiment became famous for a reason.

PPS- I alternated between saying the shooter had 42 and 23 guns- he reportedly owned 42, but had 23 in his hotel room at the time of the shooting.  And he bought some of them from a Mesquite, NV shop called “Guns and Guitars.”  You can’t make this stuff up.

PPPS- Speaking of Guns and Guitars, there’s a much longer column to be written on the real cause of inaction on guns: $$$.  As of 2015, the US firearms industry was worth $49.3 billion.  And considering the outsize influence of money in our political system, any idiot can see that it’s gonna take some real work to effect lasting change…

And the Trump White House (surprise, surprise) doesn’t seem eager to get the ball rolling, given this CNN report from the first post-shooting press briefing: "But Sanders eschewed questions about support for stricter gun laws, saying the White House has been focused on ‘bringing our country together,’ not ‘the policy part.’"

PPPPS- I’ve thrown around the terms “automatic,” “semiautomatic,” “assault weapons,” etc. and I’m sure I’ve butchered some of the finer points.  But… that’s not the point.  As I said before, why do we need even semiautomatic weapons in circulation? And I’m not the only one who doesn’t see much of a difference.  It appears that Paddock used at least one device that made his semiautomatic weapons function as automatic weapons.  Even if he didn’t have a, quote, “machine gun,” he essentially had a machine gun.  Which I, like the shooter’s brother, think is insane.  "Do I believe that he should have been able to get a machine gun?" Eric asked NBC News. "Let me loose on whoever sold him the machine gun. He should not have a machine gun."

Whatever the hell guns Paddock used, he killed 58 and wounded over 500 people.  Excuse me, for not giving a shit about classifications.