#desperado podcast spoilers

[the-official-account]

Edil's Long Ass Liveblog! s2e3 edition!

Okay so I have a lot of feelings about this episode, but I’ve gotta say it might be my favorite episode of desperado so far? Like I’m a MASSIVE fan of someone to dance with and the ending of s2e1 is a scene that will echo in my brain until I fucking die, but this one just had so much in it...like so much. Multiple things that i was like “wow I hope this shows up in desperado eventually!” happened this episode, and I feel just elated. Anyways enough pre liveblog rambles, here’s the tea.

also you know how it takes me like forever to finish an ep every Monday because I keep doing dumb shit and pausing to rant? Experienced today’s ep over a span of FIVE HOURS and let me tell ya I regret nothing I would do it again.

Also included: A running calculation of how much blood elio has vs. his usual amount. Ill put all that in red in cast that’s all you want this post for.

Okay the beginning of the ep is very rough. I was trying to make food and coffee and liveblog and listen at the same time and it did NOT work, so i paused to cook for a bit. A little sparse to start but I go back

minute one

Joan joining the girlboss covered in blood gang welcome. SEVEN MEN though? and they'll shoot you on site? sorry just how many guns do Americans have here?

IS THIS WHY THEY'RE IN FLORIDA????

more crown lore i find out & the more info i get about england the more fucked up this is

minute four

oh yeah that teleportation whit would fuck Shinji up huh? Didn't think about that 

tempest is here?? Oh I thought she had them on priority shipping 

[not edited afterthefact:] Minutes 1-3 had a lot of intersting stuff in it, but the cogs to analysis that haven't started turning in my brain yet. However, I was gonna say who's Coleman?/so the academy and the royal colleges are a DIFFERENT interesting/were they bad?/he's dead??/cece my love!! You are profound and unsettling.

Joan's whole dawn witch thing probably means she can heal up her tongue though, right? If she just learned to sign it

minute five

“you're the locals” no??? 

oh there she goes lol 

Catrina was like fuck mortality I don't need mortality also hello but please do away I'm scared for elio  [i cannot decipher this either]

I've gotta instance [???] maam I really don't think you'll survive that

minute six (okay here’s where the dozzy starts)

get his ass Shinji you are the only person with sense here

I mean Talia and elio are more powerful by proximity to home and Catrina killed an inquisitor no problem when she first awoke and that was before elio got training, so there's some precedent to say maybe theyre powerful enough to take on inquisitors but ??? I don't know they really don't have enough Intel to make that plan like it's nothing. Like, as soon as they wage the first battle they're gonna be TARGETS so they need to sit down with a map and research what places are in closet proximity that they can hit before they get discovered that yield the most net gain in allies but that's super underground information and these gods lost power like half a fucking century before the internet was invented???? I mean mind you maybe I'm just concerned about info going outdated because of a personal research endeavor. Maybe that's not something to worry about! But sorry the United States is a country with an INCREDIBLY diverse landscape (because it's FUCKIG MASSIVE) and idk! Maybe they have enough ancestral knowledge that it's not a worry but unfamiliar geopoliticial situations will FUCK. YOU. UP. I'm scared for them??? I don't know how warranted that is though there's just so many factors

and sorry not to wave around my general concern for democracy but England has been having king's for fucking ever. How is a centralized earth-connected power going to fare in the US which is much larger and I THINK made up of 3 countries depending  on how far this is going I still think this might have something to do with plate tectonics but I don't remember jackshit about American plates those are BORING. There are tons of ethnic groups native and nonnative vying for sovereignty? How big of a concern will that be? How can we guarantee that whoever gets a right to this new crown will have the interests of religious people in mind because tempest is still a witch and she clearly has no great love for them. Tempest mentioned something about the people wanting a wartime leader so the position of queen is probably at least somewhat elected but that's also a life position and is that enough? How do we know this host won't just become TOMITS to the left?

Many thoughts. Many questions. I'm definitely over thinking things at least a bit. But ??? War is not something you bumble into you are three people. THREE!!! What do you know about the suppressed religions of America's?? Their priorities and their values and morals?? How are you gonna do diplomacy without that knowledge?? War is like...a big deal lmao

"Just gonna find some food" ass you would be the first to perish in a Russian winter

go OFF king. You right 

oh.

OH???

interesting

besties I don't think geopolitics applies here

this is...this makes sense. Push a big enough house of cards over and a few of em will land where you want, right? Huh. 

minute seven

Shinji's proof that anxiety is a superpower when it's fucking warranted. That recoveries gonna be ROUGH taking notes but god they really need someone without godly hubris rn

Shinji??? Stop that??? Why are you in the air like fucking Rudolph can they not see you????

WHITE MIDDLE AGED STEVE JAMES CHRIS ——HELP it is too early in the morning to be laughing this loud. I know this is like an intense thing but also [Wheeze emoji] SORRY. As someone who also goes by one of those names. Yeah.

right, angel shit, I forgot. 

WAIT SO SHINJIS WINGS CAN GLOW ENOUGH TO BE I DESTINGUISHABKE FROM BIRDS WINGS?????? SO I DONT HAVE TO FUCKINF PAINT THEM????? HELLO????? or can angels have various wings...idk but they're so hard to paint man

minute eight

[re: shinji @ SJC] ominous ass what is wrong with him? This poor man

BITCH the FUCK

HELLO???? WHY THE FUCK??? CAN YOU NOT BE FUCKING NORMAL FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMN IMMORTALITY SAMEDI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU????

OOPS????

oh god why do I love [samedi] so much he sucks so bad.

minute nine

the old man loves cars. Yeeeeah that's why they're in Florida.

ope.

Hrunkgougkl?

[ID: the blinking whited guy meme.]

my brains buffering while I process the idea that a show can just be overt about racism in a way where POC have power but don't go unaffected by what's happening. Like LMAO get fucked it also WHEW.

OH I just realized what he was about to say. Yeah get FUCKED Shinji may I present ally of the year award. I don't think they're come up with any new slurs, so first of all, raw line. Not like in a way that it's cool? But, like, raw. Descriptors fail me. Also yeah that just went way over my head the first time. Too caught up in the high of Shinji murderous efficiency that I forgot the n word exists.

minute ten

OH YOU CHECKED HIM. YOU CHECK HIM FOR SURE If one is my friends desecrated the corpse of a violent racist I simply would not be disturbed. Rip to Shinji but I'm different.

“Now you're gonna make the kid cry?” No honey he told you there are two options and one of them is leaving your ass stranded and the other one is Steve James Chris.  Good for him.

The Baron and la Catrina are so goddamn annoying but I also like them a lot.

GET. HIS. ASS. GODTAMER!

what's wrong with elio tho. Nothing, right? Haha ....he's fine right?

deja Vu, god...fucking Florida. If Shinji feels one more SUD of pain I am going to collapse an die actually.

minute eleven

"like a garrison" that's really funny

minute twelve

oh this one has architecture, that's rare.

"yeah we hate to see it" THANK you talia.

minute thirteen

"a church is a church" thank you elio for this insight (joking, it was all very helpful) Please do arson? If I say pretty please can they do a dramatic arson? Please?

you know how you could creat chaos? Arson.

sorry but you don't edit explosions that good and make me not wanna pack as many as possible into an episode.

"we were three gods in a Prius" okay danger here I get that, that sucks, but this is really funny.

SO MANY SOUNDS AT ONCE, GOD.

minute fourteen

I really wish they discussed details on how The barons bone manipulation powers work and to what extent. Like I know they expected this to be easy but I'm still in the camp of Mr. 1 hit KO should know how he can feed Mr. And Ms.  "a Corpse is a power source if you know what your doing," yk, for situations like this

the Baron is playing GTA.

"weaknesses let's say" Jesus Christ. Shinji in one of the most triggering fucking situations on earth with all his friends fucking gone...god, ow. Sure Shinji might be a fictional entity that doesn't actually expirience emotions but I'M not

I'm gonna project into Shinji so hard actually I'm gonna write something that caters to me and like 2 other people it's gonna be wonderful

Not now ofc [I edit out all the timestamps of these for formatting but I need you to know this was sent at 10:11 and the first message was sent at about eight am. My brain needs to SIMMER on shit so...addressing a valid concern]

I am just over ¼ of the way through this episode holy fuck

episode fifteen

everything Shinji does this eintire episode has me going YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!  thank you tibet for this fucking delivery thank you Samy for the content holy FUCK.

HELP LMAO

minute sixteen

"surely that's not gonna work"  you're honor they're so fucking stupid like yes, she's essentially an incredibly adaptive immortal general who emphasizes protecting the weak and the prosecuted, stan-able behavior. Digital maps, though? Preposterous. One thing I love about desperado is it doesn't ask you to maintain a high level of emotional tension for an extended period of time outside of the really big climatic moments, there's enough not depressing shit to latch onto that it feels like sure I can't swim but I'm wearing a life jacket, which, for how the topic of race effects the target audience, is very useful and appreciated! The whiplash still gets me though I will NEVER get used to it and I don't think I want to

minute seventeen

I know we're only getting Joan in flickers and moments but I like her so much more in this season than the last. Fucking hated Joan before.

minute eighteen

”it was much more difficult without bassim” WHERE THE FUCK IS HE IM GONNA CRY WHERE IS MY GEM MY BELOVED RUBY MY LITTLE TINKERER HELLO?????

minute nineteen

I wonder exactly why the calisar affects and yes I'm sleeping that wrong for sure. Like Asher could handle it and he's a witch of like medium strength? (Placing Joan at medium high and tempest and Caleb at High, it's tuff competition I'm not trying to put him down) but he was a witch? How does it affect crusaders? How about other religious people, the Baron seemed to refer to it like a drug so he'll probably be okay. Hm. I guess we'll see.

Catrina clearly isn't as young as I thought but her manifestation is definitely new. Hm. Ruled an empire for hundreds of years...

minute twenty one

OOOOH JOAN PLEASE INTRODUCE SIGNING SPELLS TO THE AMERICAN WITCHES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THAT'S SUCH AN EDGE. Asl is hard but it's not THAT hard and signed exact English isn't, yk, culturally ideal but it should for for translating spells into silence so you only really need to learn the words...

minute twenty two

Shinji smart as fuck evaluating exactly where he can push the God's buttons. That's useful info (edited)

minute twenty four

holy shit this crown lore what the fuck

minute twenty five

LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE BRITISH CHARACTER MADE ME FALL ON LOVE WITH THEM BY FORCE I HAD NO FUCKING CHOICE IN RHE MATTER THAT THE FUCK

minute twenty six

this fucking wierdo doesn't know hot to breathe I love her

joans pulls an all nighter then is like "GOTTA GO FEED THE BLOOD CELLS" and passes the fuck out what an oddball I love her.

minute twenty seven

she's gonna stab this old man

I'm sorry but I need to dissect Joan like a frog in a middle school biology lab actually

minute twenty nine

for reference, two eintire bodies worth of blood is something like 6 times the usual amount elio is able to carry from himself

if she takes from the three guards that increases to about 16 times the amount of blood, adding some for roughly ten percent blood mass I've been dropping for estimations and assuming all of these people are roughly elio's size, and seeing as they're prison guards and worshippers of mr.holy steriods I'll give myself that

Shinji deserves this nap but oh boy wow

THEIR BODIES MOVE AGAIN WHEN I SAY I CHOKED AND FUCKING GASPED IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?????

SWOON

GONNA ADD MECROMANCING DANCIN TO MY TALIA PLAYLIST THIS IS GEEAT THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME

minute thirty

AND WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY ABOUT THE JDGKDHOSHSKS T RHEBFIFGCIDBTA IN SHD FUCKING THIS BRANCHING INTO A WAR OF MEDIA AND PERCEOTION????? SCREMAINING AMD L9OK9NG MY SHIT GEREVSKSHSKS IM SO 3XICTDJDIFNRJDKSH

minute thirty one

THE FUCKINF EXPONENTIAL GROWTH OF BATTLE DID I NOT MENTION THIS????? oh my god being wrong is a blast but being right is a blast in a different direction knashing my fucking teeth kicking screaming hooting hollering and generally boogieing down this is SO COOL

 I was gonna say I recognized the pattern of that speech but did not at all click translation appreciated

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE JUST DO TO HIM?? SOME SORT OF RED PLAGUE EQUIVALENT TRANSFORMATION?????

title spotted but in fucking wait

[translation Inaccute please see notes. Would you believe this was the first time I looked up what desperado means? kinda slow upstairs]

minute thirty two

Shinji Calls them stone demons so yeah, right? La catrina's using the crystal elio swallowed in episode 14 (what was is called again???) And that la Catrina is subpresding from taking over him to spread the red plague to whoever she wants to make more soldiers is actually deeply disturbing in some sense but really really cool in others I love how that episode tied back into the plot holy fuck

minute thirty three (another analysis heavy one, this time the baron and black masculinity)

the fact that Shinji keeps calling them their names also, god. IS SAMEDI GIVES TALI A FUCKINF NICOTINE ADDITION FOR HIS BULLSHIT I AM GOING TO STRANGLE HIM WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS WHAT A BITCH ASS USELESS FUCKING CLOWN SHE CLEARLY WOULDNT WANT THAT

I need to do more research on the nitty gritty of Haitian culture but i suspect it also falls into the overlap of American/carribean black culture in how black men feel a particular sense of entitlement to the bodies and labor of black woman like I adore the Baron as a character and I don't know if this was on accident, probably? but some of the shit he says and does so directly reflects black misogynior it makes me want to hurt him. I'm gonna say now though that nonblack people do not fucking critique him from that perspective. The line between valid criticisms of black men and racism with some white feminist glitter on top is fucking blurry, and even from black men and women the conversation too quickly descents into generalizations that stem from trauma and create a false sexual dichotomy that drives internalized race and colorism deeper into our community so when I say it's touchy, stay the fuck away, I mean that. Black men are still black and they're beautiful and they're allies and father's and uplifters, organizers and caregivers, and individuals who's value is not at all correlated to the labor they can offer others and their community but the Baron can go FUCK himself also. I'm gonna kill him

 I'm sorry but at the circus Talia directly expressed a dislike for the concept of coping with substance and that's such a fucked up choice to take away from somebody.

Oh God it's been an hour lmao [I got into a DIFFERENT conversation about themes of race in podcasting because im fucking asdklfasdfhaf edil only wants ONE THING and it’s FUCKING DISGUSTING]

My attention span is healthy and my executives love to function!

minute thirty four

"it was rage...and it latched onto me" LET HIM GO I WILL KILL YOU.

what. What. What what what I have so many things to ...look into? What. Shinji. Alarm

I don't think the massacre of Dojima (doshima?) Was a real event. Theres a violent event that does relate to that name but it's not called that...huh! Shinji is like a magician doing a scarves trick but instead of scarves it's an infinite string of lore and trauma

I need to study Shinji like a cool bug

is "crusaders after Asher" meaning after as in time or after as in chase? Idk

God, if the Baron wasnt in talia's body is give Shinji full rights to tear him to pieces with his bare hands.

get his ass.

minute thirty five

GET. HIS. ASS. GODTAMER. THATS A NAME THATS GONNA STICK NOW.

 "what do you need" is a small line to freak out about but !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frenship :]....love and care, even.

scared for Talia rn but if I don't think about it enough It can't hurt me!

not friendship. Fear. Crying. hate it.

minute thirty six analysis here on catrina's relationship with violence

Again for reference, a 10 litre water cooler of blood is about 1.5 completely drained elio-sized people and 4.95 times the amount of blood he usually has on hand

I'm SO conflicted because on one hand Catrina can go FUCK herself right now but on the other hand I think I recognize the pattern of behavior as like, She knows Talia and the Baron will be fine, or at least things she knows, and she know she and Shinji aren't friends and therefore can't offer comfort because like fuck he's gonna accept that. So she's got priorities and it's a situation that means no way you spin it can Shinji get his needs met without derailing something major but of course HE doesn't know that he has no way of knowing he just has to endure the bullshit and it's not fair but they're fair from reaching the kind of world where fairness can be a concern. HOWEVER, I find it very very interesting that elio know Catrina as a very matronly goddess, someone who took care of her people first. However, and this makes me think towards what Samy said about Catrina not being the goddess elio think she is in that one Tumblr post that made me loose my shit because HELLO? She seems much more overtly war focused as if taking care of people is secondary. Now, there's a high chance she switches additudes with the environment, as most people do, but it's interesting to me how her constant ignoring of Shinji's expressions of emotion, though she is NOT invulnerable —and I think I might spy the pattern of having one character be largely unphased by another's expressions of power so that when that person, in this case Shinji, really well and truly blows up towards the climax, the observing character (catrina's) reaction of open fear and shock is a queue to the audience that shit is well and truly really spiralling outa control now — stands in direct contrast with Elio's perception, also curious about how this might reflect Mexican femininity if that's a part of this

minute 36

omg haha are you ignoring the inherent immorality of utilitarian revenge for the instinctual satasfaction of bringing a sense of justice for the grievances and atrocities committed against you and yours to the horror of possible allies and with an amount of collateral damage that will eventually be your victorious downfall in that the soil of the kingdom you now rule is rich with the blood of everyone who could have hurt your but still too desolate to plant the seeds of a new world ? Haha that's so cool...

[ID: the debby ryan hair tuck meme]

and I think elio's gonna balance the violence back out to it's some murder some sincere caring and that is chefs kiss

I hope lmao

I actually love disgusting wet and repulsive sounds design portraying biological slights against God rip to Shinji but I'm different.

FROGGIE? [i have priorities, clearly]

minute thirty eight

Samar would fucking hate this btw

like yes war of perception, perception is fear which creates demons but I think with her approach to fighting demons she'd be morally repulsed by the idea of breeding fear in the people you're trying to free. Sexy sexy conflict

minute thirty nine

no yeah "there are no innocents in these lands" places ya squarely in you can do fuck yourself territory. I hope Shinji fucking decks her.

minute fourty

dreamy sigh Shinji's such a fucking badass I think he should wreck shit more often I think he might enjoy arson he should do arson!

minute fourty

"perpendicular to the ground" ANIME SHIT—RAD.

Out of my chair

SHINJI MAKES HIS FAITH SHINJI MAKES HIS CONVICTION DID HE JUST FUCKING MAKE IT HEREDITARY?? OBSESSED WITH THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT THREAT AND ALSO AAAAAAA HES SO COOOOOOOOL

minute fourty one

[re:samar] Ah he said it.

End of EP

yk, I'm happy with that

Fucking heaping serving of everything I could've wanted. 10/10.

in conclusion

after mellowing on it I mean...I have SO many thoughts. But my head is also super fucking empty at the same time. All of it was perfect, like, what? What do I even do about it? i just gush I guess.

[storyteller-aprendiz]

I listen to the finale

Stupid mexicans with their blood sacrifices. Samar is not dead she’s just in that weird space she goes too when she timetravels.

I also listen to the q&a and agree with Talia’s va. She and Elio are living, working on their relationship and talking about trauma while hunting demons.

[shinjifuckedawarlock]

[geekeryisafoot]

Talia: Samar was my friend, and I owe her my life. I miss her, every day, and that will never change. But she was also a literal clown. And if there's one thing I can do to honor her memory, it's to act the fool.

Bro 🥺😭❤

[desperado-podcast]

S2 Ep5 Spoilers out of context

[shinjifuckedawarlock]