#derek is insecure

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Stiles coming to the realization that he’s in love with Derek and just resigning himself to it. He knows that this love is different than the way he loved Lydia. It’s deeper and built on devotion and protection. But he’s still not enough,

Derek who is good and persistent, could never love stiles. Stiles knows he loves with people who are always just out of reach for him. He knew this when he fell in love with Lydia in the third grade. He felt it when told his mother that he loved her for the last time. He came to terms with it when he begged his dad to stop drinking, to rest, to eat better. And he resigned himself to it as he watches Derek hale smile. He is in love and knows that Derek will never love him back.

He just can’t imagine a world were Derek hale loves him back in the same way. So Stiles will love him, quietly but fiercely. Derek will never have to worry about anything with Stiles by his side. And Stiles will remain by his side for as long as he can. And maybe one day he’ll be able to watch Derek fall in love with someone else without it feeling like he’s dying but deep down he’s know that will never happen.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Do you have any more stories like Cool Story, Bro? Not that stiles is a twin, but that he's pining and feels inferior and there's miscommunications? Or like, Derek is trying to date stiles, but it's a little difficult when stiles thinks it's only fuckbuddies?

Btw, should've lead with this, BUT Y'ALL ARE FREAKING AWESOME!!!

AND

Anonymous asked:

Can you reccomend some sterek fics where they're both head over heels for each other but are too dumb to notice its mutual

AND

Anonymous asked:

hi!! do you have any fic recs where stiles is oblivious to how attractive he is? it’s my absolute favorite trope when he has no idea the effect he’s got on people. thank you guys for all of the work you do it is insanely impressive!!!

Let's find out!

How To Make a Werewolf not Hate You (side affects may include love). by AlexTheShipper

(1/1 I 3,189 I Explicit)

Derek is trying to hold out for his soul mate Genim and refuses to fall for Stiles and his cute moles. Stiles thinks Derek hates him.

Are you in love or something? by yumelilo 

(1/1 I 4,489 I Teen)

Derek Hale was just chilling in his new apartment, minding his own business, when Stiles Stilinski decided to pay him a visit in his summer break from College.

- "Dude, seriously, The Weepies?", Stiles commented on the soft tones coming from Derek's sound system. "I always took you for the heavy metal and hard rock guy...", he mused. Derek huffed a laugh, but kept his face partially hidden. "What are you doing here Stiles?", he asked. The unspoken 'How the fuck did you get keys to my new place?' heavily implied. He heard the human sigh long and suffering, like the idea of answering Derek's question would physically hurt him in a way.

A Question of Pack by CawCawMF

(1/1 I 5,291 I Teen)

Stiles had always been sure of his place in the pack. That place being the absolute lowest tier in the hierarchy of werewolf pack dynamics, but he was sure of it all the same. He wasn’t necessary exactly, since just about anyone could conduct research on supernatural mythology, but his job was still important to the pack and he felt good about that. At least, that’s what he always thought. That all came crumbling down one sunny afternoon in the form of Jackson’s big mouth.

Give me a fucking break. Preferably yesterday. by KinimiB

(4/10 I 7,487 I Not Rated)

Stiles knew that if you asked who's easiest to repleace or most useless in pack, the answer would be quick and always the same. Stiles, ordinary, clumsy human. He knew that, everybody did, but it was just an unspoken rule not to say it out loud.

Until it wasn't.

You're It For Me by RageBiter

(1/1 I 7,960 I Mature)

Derek gets cursed by a witch so every time he's too far from Stiles he endures extreme amounts of pain, not that that's any different from usual. Stiles has to stay at Derek's loft and they get closer than Stiles ever though they'd be. Derek's forced to tell Stiles the secret he's been keeping from him since they met. He and Stiles are mates.

I'm a War of Head Versus Heart by NieR

(5/10 I 23,091 I Explicit)

Being FWB with Derek Hale is great. Awesome, even.

But somehow, somewhere along the way, Stiles thinks he might have fallen in love.

And, well, shit.

don't know what i'm supposed to do (haunted by the ghost of you) by crazyassmurdererwall (smartalli)

(1/1 I 30,926 I Teen)

Stiles sees dead people. Yep. Seriously.

(He’s got this. He’s totally got this. So what if one of them is Derek’s mom?)

If You Wanna Be My Roomie (Lover) by orphan_account

(23/23 I 65,056 I Explicit)

Realistically, Stiles knew that the local University's popularity and commonality meant that many members of his graduating high school class would be starting the Fall 2016 semester alongside him, but he never expected his longtime crush to be one of them. Even more so, he never expected said crush to be assigned as his roommate...oh boy.

You're stronger than you know by Littleredridinghunter

(15/15 I 234,195 I Not Rated)

The pack are letting him down again, his dad is not speaking to him, his life is just generally falling apart.

Until he has to get a bronze dagger to kill a siren and his whole world gets flipped on it's head!

My summaries are rubbish but I hope you'll still give it a chance!

[hedwig221b]

WIP Wednesday

Wonderful @eevylynn tagged me, thank you 💗 Here's a piece of the requested Bone Witch!Stiles + guardian!Derek AU

💀

“You don’t have to do that,” Stiles murmured, tracing the edge of the cup with the tip of his finger.

He blushed at the glare the wolf gave him and pursed his lips.

They had this conversation many times, to the point where Derek just ignored the topic altogether.

Stiles told him he didn’t have to come. Derek kept showing up.

And, after everything that happened, Stiles couldn’t help but admire the wolf’s loyalty, his dedication, and unyielding stubbornness. He truly didn’t have to come and defend him from all those fools, didn’t have to roam around Stiles’ tower and glare into the dark. Yet, every time, his strong and silent silhouette among the trees made Stiles’ heart stutter.

He just wished the wolf came to him because he wanted to, and not because of the sense of duty.

Even then, it didn’t matter that much.

Stiles just wanted him here. Close.

💀

Tagging gently 💗 @dear-massacre @renmackree @arver7 (feral omega pleek) @endwersed @thotpuppy @salty-fryingpan

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Criminal minds team reaction to a super tall muscular agent with tattoos/piercings?

Um, yes? But like, gotta project a little bit so he's insecure lmao

You were a new agent, working for the BAU, finally getting the transfer from organised crime you had practically been begging for for the last two years. You had met Agent Hotchner (or Hotch as you had been told to call him) and Agent Rossi (or Rossi), both respectable men who seemed pleased to have you on the team. But today was your first official day working for them.

You weren't allowed to have the majority of your piercings in whilst at work, only the three in your ears and your septum, provided you took that one out should you need to talk to members of the public. Your tattoos started at the base of your neck and stopped just above your wrists, enough that a long sleeved shirt with a collar hid them.

You stepped out of the elevator, taking a small moment to try and gather yourself before you walked into the ballpen.

"Well who is this hunk of handsome?!" Penelope asked, jaw dropping as you walked into the room. Your shoulders curled inwards with embarrassment as you rubbed your neck, cheeks dotting with red.

"Er, I'm (Y/N)," You answered, "I'm looking for Hotch or Rossi?"

"(Y/N)," Rossi grinned as he walked up to you, patting your arm when he reached you. "Glad to see you made it okay,"

"Thank you sir," You nodded.

"What have I told you?" Rossi sighed.

"Sorry, Rossi." You correct yourself, Rossi gave a small nod as Hotch approached the group.

"(Y/N), nice to see you again."

"You too, s-" You cut yourself off, "Hotch."

Hotch turned to Garcia, "Garcia, play nice, he's joining the team."

"Oh really?" Garcia asked, seeing the unimpressed look on Hotch's face she sighed. "I'm Penelope Garcia, Knower of All."

"I'm (Y/N) (L/N), Agent of America?" You offer, unsure.

"I like you," Penelope grinned before she turned to Hotch, "We've got a case."

"Gather the team," Hotch said. Penelope nodded, before rushing off. When she left, he turned back to you, "You get used to her, she means well," He said fondly.

You nodded slightly, unsure of what exactly to say. "Come on, kid, you need to meet the rest of the team." Rossi said, patting your arm once more.

Derek's eyes widen as you walk into the room, when Garcia had told him that the new team member was tall and muscular he had been expecting maybe someone six foot, but you stood at about six foot five, built well (to say the least), with a septum piercing, stretchers in your ear lobe, a helix piercing, and an industrial piercing. And, based on the darker tones that showed through your shirt, you were inked too.

You all made quick introductions before you sat down, immediately turning your attention to Penelope before heading off to the case.

After the case was finished, Rossi had decided to hold a family dinner at his (with instructions to bring swimwear - apparently, he had recently had a pool installed). You agreed to go, despite feeling slightly out of place, making sure to wear the trunks under your jeans as it was easier and made sure that you brought clothes in your rucksack.

An hour after dinner (you didn't want to get cramp in the pool because you weren't sure whether or not that was a myth and you weren't about to embarrass yourself in front of your team just yet), you all went into separate rooms to get dressed. You kept your t-shirt on for a bit, planning on only taking it off when you went into the water.

Walking out into the garden, you plopped yourself on a chair, tuning in to the conversation. "I'm just saying that statistically speaking, the most common birthday in the US is September 9th,"

"Really?" You asked, "That's my birthday,"

"Seriously?" Morgan asked, you nodded.

"Yep," You said, "What can I say? I'm a Basic Bitch,"

When JJ and Emily joined the group, Emily grinned, "Pool time?"

Morgan grinned as he and Emily both cannon-balled in, when he resurfaced, he turned to you all, "You joining us?"

You stood up after the others, pausing for a moment before taking your shirt off and leaping into the pool.

"Oh my God, he has a nipple piercing?! Are you guys seeing this?!" Penelope exclaims, slapping her hand against Emily and JJ's arms.

"I did not see that coming..." Emily muttered, JJ nodding in agreement.

"Do you... do you reckon down there is...?" Penelope asked, giving them both raised eyebrows and a smirk. Emily and JJ both rolled their eyes.

"For God's sake, Penelope, focus," JJ laughed.

"I can't, he's too dreamy."

[simp4eshal]

Reassurance

Spencer Reid x girlfriend!reader

an: this was supposed to be a Beck Oliver x Reader thingy but idk, i felt like it was better with spencer ???

warnings: insecurity, talks of jealousy, being kinda shady toward JJ but not really, some suggestive words and actions but it's really just fluff and comfort, they're so cute and he's so in love

It was dark outside. So dark, the stars were barely visible, and you wondered if the moon was okay. While staring out in the cold night through your boyfriend’s window, you felt a hand sneaking lazily around your waist. “What are you thinking ?” Spencer said, tracing stupid patterns on your hips “Nothing, really.” you replied, feeling suddenly called out. He stopped and stared at you, a worried glint behind his eyes. “I know there’s something else. You’ve been awfully quiet and, not to be a jerk, but you’ve been here for 2 hours straight and by that time I would’ve usually been sinking into your tight, dripping cunt” his tone was playful, sultry even, as he said so. A proud smile adorned his features once he heard you laugh lightly, muttering a shy “stop” while cuddling next to him.

Silence fell upon them. His hands roamed your body almost innocently, and you almost felt like you were able to talk to him now. “Talk. I feel like you need it” he said. You sighed against his chest, and started confessing. “Do you…like JJ ?” he looked confused as you said so “JJ ? Of course I like JJi, she’s my friend” You sighed again, this time looking deeply into his eyes “No. I mean like, like JJ.” Spencer stopped for a moment, then realized. “Oh. Ohhhh. Is this what this is about ?” his hands came and cupped both of her cheeks, a sweet smile forming on his plump lips “I know that JJ and you have been friends for God knows how long, and I know that my jealousy is ridiculous but- I just, I just need reassurance.”

 He smiled again looking at you, his heart filling with love “Don’t say that. Your emotions are not stupid, they are completely valid.” he stopped for a moment “I know that JJ and I are pretty close. But you shouldn’t worry. You really shouldn’t. However, I am glad that you told me about this.” his hands found yours, kissing your knuckles fondly. “I love you. I truly do. And I am so glad that you mentioned JJ, because as much as I love her too, I don’t want something to happen, this time between you and me.” You knew what he was referring to. His messy break up (break ups ?) with other girlfriends, always somehow including JJ. You didn’t blame the girl. But because you knew that she was enough of an issue to play part in his past break ups, you were just so afraid to see it happen to the both of you too. JJ was a really smart and attractive girl, but she was way too… tactile ? present ? whatever, too something for you. No shade, though. Which is why you felt like you needed to talk to Spencer, and not to her.

“If you want me to, I’ll put boundaries between JJ and I. More boundaries.” he said confidently “No ! I don’t want things to be weird between you guys, I just want…emotional boundaries ? Maybe, slow down with the random calls while we’re together and stuff ? I mean, obviously, when those calls are not about work…” you asked shyly, yet with underlying confidence, because you knew that this was important to you. He stared at you again, his hands now under your shirt, cradling your skin. “Okay. I will.” he looked once again into your eyes, smiling, so so happy that you felt secure enough in your relationship to just address it. “I love you” he whispered, pecking your cheeks, then your nose, and your neck. You giggled, your chest lighter, and your heart full with love for your adorable, adorable boyfriend “I love you too”.

[christinesficrecs]

Hello!! I hope you’re having an amazing day your blog literally means so much to me.

If this isn’t too much to ask, I would really love some angsty low self esteem Sterek fics. Happy ending only, though. It could be either insecure!Derek or insecure!Stiles, I’m good with either! I really appreciate it :) thank you!

That's so nice!! 🥰 These are only a little angsty, because I'm me. ;) And I possibly tripped over some mutual pining fics. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bravery is a Loaded Gun by DefNotForWork | 17.3K | Explicit

In which the boys speak in half sentences and have two totally different conversations. What they can agree on, eventually, is that they love each other. And that Derek should jerk off more.

Convenient by  exclamation | 10.7K

Stiles knows what he is to Derek: convenient. He knows that Derek isn’t looking for a relationship, just someone to have casual sex with. Which is why Stiles is so surprised to find Derek setting up a romantic dinner for Valentine’s Day.

It’s Been Four Hundred and Ninety Days by paradis | 4.4K

It’s been four hundred and ninety days, and it took Derek forever but they’re at day one again.

I Just Want You For My Own (More Than You Could Ever Know) by yodasyoyo | 16K

“What is with that sweater, dude?”

Derek ducks his head to look at it, abashed. “Uh- Mrs Hernandez knitted it for me. It’s an early Christmas gift.” He smooths it down self-consciously.

Stiles cocks an eyebrow.

“What? She’s my neighbor and sometimes I-” Derek trails off. Stiles’ other eyebrow rises to join the first, and Derek sighs. “Sometimes I help her carry her groceries."

Of course he does. One day maybe Stiles will stop being in love with Derek Hale, but today is not that day.

Hide by dr_girlfriend | 12.4K | Explicit

Stiles has been rejected so many times that it doesn’t really surprise him when it happens again. Hurts, yeah, because dammit — he’d thought Derek was the one. Heartbreak sucks, and he’s not so sure he’s going to get over it this time.

Incommunicado by WhoNatural | 5.4K | Mature

Why is Derek being so weird?

Derek looks up from where he’s adjusting his shirt back into his pants - really? - and pauses. “Stiles?”

Clearly something in his scent is giving him away, but he’s too busy swallowing against the sting of bile that has made its way into his throat and checking behind the couch for future murder victims because Derek is totally cheating on him.

Cookies, coffee and shut the fucupcakes by DropsOfAddiction | 26.2K | Explicit

“Ok. I’ve got a few shirts with me because I came here straight from work, but I think it’s going to be a tight fit. I know I’m not as skinny as I used to be but I’m not exactly the same hunky physique as you, oh grand macho werewolf,” Stiles shrugs.

Derek runs his eyes blatantly over Stiles’ chest.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Derek mutters, and he slams his mouth shut, teeth audibly clacking together, as if he really hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

And Dwell Beneath My Shadow by lielabell | 8.6K

Derek is not stupid. He gets why Stiles puts up with him. It’s clear every time Stiles looks at him, the spicy scent of lust and arousal Stiles’s body can’t help but put off. It doesn’t surprise him. Not at all. Derek knows what he looks like, knows that his face and his body are more than enough to compensate for his shitty personality. Stiles wants him more than he is annoyed by him. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s not anything to be amazed over, nothing to write home about. Stiles isn’t the first– and most likely won’t be the last– hormone soaked teen who has panted over Derek. 

A Little Sugar by exclamation | 4.9K | Mature

The first time they had sex, it was after Derek paid Stiles’ rent. The second time was after Derek bought Stiles’ groceries. It wasn’t hard to work out the pattern. Derek hates himself for taking advantage of Stiles and tries to convince him that any form of payment is unnecessary, but he can’t seem to break the cycle.

waiting for you to say it first by paradis | 8.2K

Four months.

Four months they’ve managed to avoid one another. Stiles quit going to pack meetings. He quit doing research unless Scott really, really begged him to. He avoided driving the road that led out to the turnoff to the Hale house, he avoided going to all the spots where Derek might possibly be. Four months, and now, here they are, standing in the Minit Mart, Stiles thinks, staring down at the grimy tiles. He can hear the catch of Derek’s breath, and he closes his eyes and breathes deep.

Safety in Silence by Survivah | 66.9K

It’s perfectly understandable. Even Derek wouldn’t want to be Derek’s soulmate.

Relationship Status: It's complicated by kellifer_fic | 4K | Mature

Okay, I know this is a huge stretch for you, but can you please pretend you're like, into me?

Have It All by doc_sock | 5.8K

Derek is glad that he and Stiles are fuck buddies, really. So he wants more than that. So what? It’s not like what he wants is important.

Stay, Stay, Stay by  drunktuesdays | 2.2K

He should have expected this. He knew it, knew Stiles was always in this temporarily. Derek knew it wasn’t forever. The only thing that’s surprising is that Stiles is lying about it.

Closer Than Most by Finduilas | 46.9K | Explicit

Laura organizes a charity bachelor auction to raise money for the wolf sanctuary she and Derek inherited from their parents. Derek reluctantly gets roped into bidding on one of the bachelors, and he sure as hell doesn't know what he's getting himself into when he decides to bid on Stiles.

A Question of Pack by CawCawMF | 5.2K

Stiles had always been sure of his place in the pack. That place being the absolute lowest tier in the hierarchy of werewolf pack dynamics, but he was sure of it all the same. He wasn’t necessary exactly, since just about anyone could conduct research on supernatural mythology, but his job was still important to the pack and he felt good about that. At least, that’s what he always thought. That all came crumbling down one sunny afternoon in the form of Jackson’s big mouth.

[magewritesstories]

so guys, im rewatching criminal minds rn (bet you didnt see that coming/j) and im curious does Gideon ever tell anyone why the footpath killer stuttered? or is it just one of those unsolved things that never gets discussed again?

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Talent [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@lavendair) Center (@hotchs-big-hands) Right (@muresetivoire)

Prompt: An inebriated Aaron finds out that the readers has a hidden talent and they offer to show him it later. When they get back to his apartment, more sober, Aaron apologizes, feeling awkward for getting them into this situation. They (the reader) honestly asks Hotch if he would let them do it anyway? 

Pairing: Hotch x gender neutral reader. The reader uses they/them/their pronouns 

Catagory: Hurt/comfort/smut 

Word Count: 6.8K 

A/N: Content warnings below the cut. This is a NSFW story. Minors DNI. 18+ only readers for this one. Please respect this boundary. A few things here so please bare with me. This was inspired by a little conversation between @softhairedhotch and @hotchs-big-hands That conversation can be found here (link)

I loved the idea and I got this wrote this. As usual, my writing got a bit more somber than I expected. Maybe that’s just my style idk? One last thing before you can actually read this thing, I insinuate that Hailey cheated on Hotch later in their marriage. I think this is an assumption the show makes, but never explicitly states. I don’t mean to slander Hailey in any way. I think she’s lovely and loved Aaron to the best of her ability. I did this mostly to make Hotch have self-doubt. I stan Hailey in my house. Lastly, this is only my third time posting smut, so forgive me it it’s not perfect. If you enjoy this story, likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated! I hope y’all have a good evening - Levi. 

Content Warnings: Sex (slight hand job and blowjob [Hotch receiving]), slight size kink, sex and body doubt (Hotch), Foyet and the stabbing incident mentioned (mentioned that the attack was possibly psycho-sexual), blood, reference to a gag reflex, drinking (the team gets pretty intoxicated), sex life mentioned (reader and Hotch), Aaron is touch starved, cheating mentioned (Hailey). If I missed any, please let me know. 

List will all stories 

y/n = your name 

y/c/h = your color hair

y/f/a = your favorite actor/actress 

h/l = hair length 

h/c = hair color - aka brown hair, black hair, blue hair ect. 

d/h = dominant hand 

Hotch nearly choked on his sip of beer. He tried to hide his coughs by putting his arm over his mouth. He had certainly not expected to hear Penelope, who was seated on Rossi’s rug with many other members of the team to say, “But you know I might have thrown up because the milk was expired, but y/n wouldn’t because they don’t have a gag reflex.” Aaron watched as y/n’s face turned crimson. y/n moved over to Garcia and jokingly shook their friend saying, “Pen, why would you talk about my sex life like that? You see, this is why you can never, ever meet my parents even though you keep asking. We’ll have, like, two drinks and then you’ll start talking about what position I like best.”

Upon hearing this, Aaron couldn’t take it anymore. He moved from the living room to the kitchen. He was trying very hard not to think about y/n in an array of sexual positions and acts, but he was failing. He was also trying to remember why the team had moved from the couches to the floor. A comment of Spencer's about the rug being comfortable and warm next to the fireplace that was roaring in the center of Dave’s living room might have been the reason. It was all a blur really. They were all drunk at this point. The team didn’t normally do this when they were together, but it was Friendsgiving and the last few cases had been relatively easy by their standards.

The team had a few days off, and shockingly they were all going to be in town, so Rossi had invited them all over to celebrate Thanksgiving as a unit. Everyone had brought something and it was nice to just relax and be together. His intoxicated brain circled back to the rug and to the topic of sex and he thought, ‘Oh god, no, no, no,’ but against his conscious brain he began to picture himself having sex with y/n on that soft shagged carpet. In his mind their back was arched, and they were panting as he thrust deeply into them. Aaron was startlingly pulled from his fantasy when his name was called. He looked up and flushed further. It was y/n leaning against the marble countertop. To his credit, y/n also had a flush to their face, and they asked, “What’s got you so flustered over there Mr. Hotchner.” Aaron tried to come up with an excuse, and he opened his mouth, but his brain couldn’t supply a reply, so he just closed his mouth. More mortified now than he may have ever been in front of a member of his team. 

 y/n walked closer to him, and they placed their hands on the edge of the counter. y/n leaned back on their strong arms which could be perceived in a sensual way. Hotch swallowed, and y/n looked him over. They noticed the bulge in Aaron’s well-fitted black trousers, but they averted their eyes quickly for his dignity, so that they didn’t start getting wild ideas. y/n was grateful that Hotch was a little too disheveled to have noticed them checking out his groin. Finally, after an awkward silence, y/n asked openly, drunkenly, “It’s not what Garcia said earlier that has you so riled up, is it?” There was that small undercurrent of desire in y/n’s voice that had Aaron feel a flash of heat rush through him again.

Hotch wouldn’t have to answer. His blown-out pupils, arousal, and micro-expressions were enough to tell y/n what they wanted to know. Even drunk this was obvious to them. Aaron gave a small nod, yes, anyway. y/n let out a small laugh before saying, “We see such horrible things in the field and my sexual abilities are what's causing your brain to reboot?” They were teasing him, and Hotch couldn’t help but say, “Well this isn’t the field.” He moved toward y/n and placed his hand on their hip. y/n’s exhalation of breath and flush of their skin told Aaron that the touch wasn’t unwanted. He’d never initiated anything romantic or sexual with y/n.

The small part of his brain that was still functioning normally was screaming at him to stop. That he might regret this when he was sober. But his id was stronger than that voice. As his other hand moved to y/n’s other hip, he looked down at them. y/n’s eyes were wide and shining with a type of desire he’d never seen on their face before. _y/n_ breathily said his name; “Aaron.” Without much more to think about he asked, “Is what Garcia said true? Or is she just making stuff up again?” y/n flushed and acted askance and replied, “Why Hotch, that’s not a nice thing to ask someone.” Aaron bit back a sigh and applied gentle pressure to _y/n_’s hips. Their body moved with his touch and y/n truthful answered, “It is true though. It’s my hidden talent that’s rarely used.” y/n looked up at Hotch and the desire, the hunger they saw on his face left them reeling for a second. They knew this was crossing a hundred lines, but in that moment the very feeling of his hands on their body was such a rush that they didn’t fight it. The idea of Aaron’s large hands elsewhere had them boldly state, “I can show you later on if you let me come to your apartment?” 

That image actually made Hotch groan. It was quiet, and Aaron was eternally grateful that no one on the team had come in yet to refresh their drinks. Maybe they had all assumed what y/n and he were discussing and were intentionally not entering the room. Aaron asked, surprised at y/n’s offer and their willingness to accept, “You’d do that for me?” There was that soft throaty laugh again, and y/n said, “Of course I would Hotch.” Aaron swallowed again and replied, “Okay. But only if you really want to. You don’t have to do anything for me like that if you don’t want to.” y/n moved their hand, patted his shoulder, and said, “I promise that you will get enthusiastic consent from me before it happens. And if either of us changes our minds, we can pretend this little conversation never happened. 

After this, they headed back to the living room. If the team had been intentionally avoiding them, they hid it well. The members of the BAU  seemed to be engrossed watching Spencer speed-read Rossi’s well-worn copy of Critique of Pure Reason by Kant. As y/n sat back down next to Emily, they whispered, “Why are we watching Spence read?” Emily listed slightly toward y/n and said, “We’re going to have Rossi test him on the concepts of the book. Or see if the genius can remember some especially long passages. We want to see how much he can remember when he’s this drunk.” y/n chuckled at the concept. They were now also invested.

An hour and a half later the team slowly started saying their goodbyes. At this stage, y/n and Aaron were more in control of their faculties. They were the third party to leave, and they both shared an Uber back to Hotch’s apartment. Because neither of them knew how much they would be drinking that night, they had shared a ride over to Rossi’s together. y/n only lived two blocks over and Aaron promised to walk them the rest of the way home. On the short ride back, y/n and Hotch both gained more clarity, and Aaron was starting to feel uncomfortable with what he had said two hours earlier. His desire for y/n was still there, but he knew he shouldn’t have said what he did. Suggested what he had. As it turned out, Aaron’s desire for his younger agent rarely, if ever waned. 

When y/n had joined the team a few years ago, he had quickly found himself drawn to them physically. Hotch didn’t believe in love at first sight, but he couldn’t deny that he had experienced lust at first sight with y/n. It was like y/n had been made for him. When Hotch first thought this fully -- not just with the small voice he used to stifle unwanted thoughts with -- he realized how much of a narcissist it made him sound like. It was with that thought that he buried all feelings about y/n. He couldn’t risk going there, even in his mind. But with there still being a slight buzz in his head, his mind wandered to how the slope of y/n’s shoulders was gentle yet angular. How their y/h/c looked during golden hour, the way their eyes had held his gaze earlier that evening when they had offered to show him their talent. Aaron shifted slightly in his seat to try and readjust himself. His body was having ideas of its own again, and he didn’t appreciate it. Aaron looked over to y/n who seemed to be in their own type of reverie. It hadn’t helped that he found them attractive and that they were such a good person. 

On the team, y/n was smart. They could come up with ideas as fast as Spencer and the duo could be often found at precincts and their hotel rooms bouncing ideas off each other at a mile-a-minute pace. They were also fiercely protective of the team. If someone questioned the team, or specifically a member of the team, they were there to professionally correct and support either the team or the member being targeted. He had seen them do it for JJ, Garcia, and Morgan which was funny because Derek could generally take care of himself. But that hadn’t mattered to y/n. They had stood up for and comforted Derek in their way.

y/n had comforted him too. It was more polite than with the other agents, but they had done it all the same. Aaron knew that y/n felt similarly about him as he felt about them. It was clear in their actions and demeanor around him. y/n hid it well most of the time, but every now and then, he would get a hint that those desires resided in y/n too, and he had to fight his feelings all over again. It was all a mess, and now they would have to talk about tonight. The conversations had been mutually intimate and yes, having his subordinate offer to perform fellatio on him broke about a dozen rules and regulations, but he had continued the conversation. He could have walked away, lied, or done ten thousand other things than being honest and accepting the offer. Aaron stifled another groan of annoyance and embarrassment. He knew he was fucked, or perhaps not fucked, in loads of ways. At least their conversation had been consensual. There was a small mercy in that. 

As the car moved down the quiet streets, y/n could feel Aaron near them. They chose to look out the car window instead of at their companion. y/n needed a few minutes to settle their thoughts. To say y/n was mortified about their behavior during the evening was an understatement. Their attraction to Hotch was undeniable, and they saw the tells on their boss as well. That didn’t make what they had done that evening right. y/n had been shocked by how quickly and hard they had been attracted to Aaron.

y/n didn’t know they could feel so intensely until they met him. Of course, there had been teen idols. And they had rewatched a few movies with y/f/a a few hundred times. But that was an actor, and Hotch was a real man in flesh and blood. To mention the fact that he was their boss didn’t help the matter either. In all honesty, everyone on the team had said something more personal than they would have sober during the night, but y/n was certain what they and Aaron had revealed was the most intimate. The street lights continued to pass by in a blur as they approached Aaron’s apartment. y/n knew that things would come to a head when they got there, and y/n couldn’t help but think for one second, ‘Is my desire for him so wrong? God we both feel it. Why couldn’t life be easier? Why couldn’t they just give in for once?” These were the thoughts that swilled within them, between them, as they sped toward their destination. 

When they arrived outside of Aaron’s, the two stood outside of his stoop in an awkward silence. Aaron broke it first by saying, “I never should have said anything in the kitchen. I never should have put my hands on you. I sincerely apologize for my actions, y/n. I never meant to make this uncomfortable between us. I value your contributions to the team and I’d never view you as a sexual object. I was drunk and it was a mistake.”

Hotch realized that he was rambling, and he looked to y/n for their response. They looked back and him and replied, “I started it. Well, Garcia started it. It was out of line for me to approach you like that. I respect you, Hotch. I apologize.” They both stood in the frosty air, under the light of a lone streetlamp. The wind picked up and both parties seemed unwilling to leave the conversation where it was. y/n shuddered against the cold and used a voice they rarely did with Aaron. y/n asked, “Can we go into your apartment for a minute before you walk me home? I think I need to warm up for a minute before you walk me back.”

The voice they used was one-third needy, one-third empathetic, and one-third pleading. Though Aaron could be reading into the pleading part of it. Perhaps he just wanted that to be the case. y/n had only spoken to him once before like that and it was when he had gotten injured on a case. y/n had asked him to slow down in the same tone and just like back then, he couldn’t refuse them. Hotch pulled out his keys and unlocked his front door. As they moved inside, he turned on the light above his sink and then he took a few large strides to turn on some lamps in the living space. Aaron gestured to the couch and offered y/n a seat, which y/n took.

Aaron moved toward the sink and asked over his shoulder, “Would you like a glass of water?” y/n closed their eyes at the thoughts bombarding them and said, “Yes, please.” Aaron grabbed two glasses from his cabinets and added some ice from the freezer before filling them with water. When he turned back to y/n, they had their d/h pinching the skin between their eyebrows; their face in a half grimace. Aaron moved quickly toward them and asked, “y/n, are you alright? Do you have a headache?” y/n let out a nervous laugh before removing their hand and saying, “Not yet. But it’s sure to come in a few hours. I’m not a college kid at a pre-game party anymore. I can’t do that kind of drinking without the consequences.” Aaron chuckled at _y/n_’s response. Given that he was a good deal older than y/n him, he could only imagine how bad it might be for himself in the morning. He added taking some Advil before bed to his mental notes. He would do that as soon as y/n was safely home. Even though things had been odd between them for the last half of the night, he would still ensure that they got home safe before he returned to his space to re-wrangle the thoughts that had fought their way back to the surface again. He let out a soft sigh, as he watched y/n take a sip of water. 

y/n set their glass down and looked up at Aaron. They asked a question that had undercut the whole night for them. They asked because at this moment having to fake disinterest felt like too great a burden to bear, and because they knew they were already in trouble, so why not face the full consequence? y/n said what was really on their mind with, “What if I wanted to show you anyway? Apart from Pen’s comments? Apart from the fact that I was drunk when I said what I did.” There was a silence and Hotch’s eyes blinked at what they said, trying to register the words; what was being offered. He felt the hitch in his breath as he said, “y/n I…”

They cut Hotch off saying, “Aaron. I see how you look at me. And I know that you see how I look at you. I’m sorry, but I can’t keep pretending to not care about you. To not want to give you more.” Hotch blinked a few times rapidly, trying to clear this head of images. Even now that he was in full control of his mind, he couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering. Aaron closed his eyes and said y/n’s name in desperation. In shame. They looked up at him and said, “Tell me that I’m wrong. Tell me that I’m wrong and I’ll stop immediately.” As hard as Aaron tried to say no, he couldn’t bring himself to.

y/n stood and half maneuvered Aaron to sit on his couch. They knelt and pushed his knees open. Hotch groaned and said, “You can’t possibly want this?” y/n ran their hands over his inner thighs and said, “I’m in full control of my faculties, Aaron. If I didn’t want to do this, I wouldn’t be here. y/n looked over his seated body. He looked so prone like this; exposed. They often wondered about Aaron. How he felt about himself, and his strong body. y/n had noticed that he wore more layers after what had happened with Foyet. The textures and materials of his suits had changed as well. Half of the time y/n was sure he was sweating under all that fabric. _y/n_ gently dropped to their knees and asked Hotch, who was looking at them with trepidation, guilt even, “Aaron, are you alright? What’s going on in that head of yours?” 

For the last year or so, after Foyet, Hotch had been physically cutting himself off from close contact of any kind. It brought up too many painful memories of Hailey before she and Jack had to flee to witness protection before she divorced him. When he was younger he had been so passionately in love with her. It was the most he had ever felt in his life, and with his childhood the way it was, there was a great comfort in that. When he and Hailey had met again as adults, those feelings were still there and they persisted throughout his time in law school and his short stint as a prosecutor.

But when he had joined the BAU things had changed. At first, there had been a thrill for both of them. But with time, Hailey seemed to grow tired of his constant comings and goings. His late nights in the office under Gideon. Their sex life had changed and what used to be passionate and loving sex turned into less passionate more need-based sex from either himself or his wife. Then Jack happened, and Gideon’s incident in Boston which left even less time for him to spend with his wife and newborn son. Again sex changed for them because Hailey needed time to heal and Jack took up most of their time when Aaron was home. When they had been intimate at that stage it felt different. It happened rarely and he could feel Hailey withdraw from his touch sometimes.

A few months later, when he started to assume that she might be acting unfaithfully to him he started to understand why his wife was so hesitant to be around him. Aaron didn’t want to believe it was true. He wanted to think that it had something to do with him. Some shortcomings of his character or body. When it came out that she had been seeing someone else, Aaron forgave her. He still loved her deeply and he knew that he had his own issues; being around was the chief one for his wife. Some part of him understood why she had sought comfort in someone else while he was away even though he would never do that to her. A part of Aaron still thought that there was something wrong with him, his body, and his performance in bed. And the last time he and Hailey had really, intentionally tried to be intimate, his own doubts and the thought of her with another man had not allowed him to finish. Aaron didn’t assume that was the death knell of their marriage, but part of him factored it in. 

Then Foyet had physically assaulted him, his body. Hotch never told anyone, and the team didn’t say anything, but he had wondered if Foyet was seeking some sort of sick sexual release with the knife as a subsite penis. Aaron had passed out from blood loss before he could know the answer to that question. Aaron was grateful for that to this day. So the idea that y/n, the kind and caring person they were was interested in him sexually was rather unbelievable to him. It had been so long since he had been sexual. He even stopped allowing himself to touch himself if he woke up aroused. He felt like he deserved it. He didn’t know how he would act, or perform if he accepted y/n’s offer. Thinking about it made him nervous. And yet, his desire for y/n persisted. 

Hotch swallowed and he suddenly felt like he needed ten glasses of water instead of the one he had just consumed. He looked down at y/n and replied, “I shouldn’t even be sitting here. These thoughts… they.” Aaron felt embarrassed at himself and looked away, not really knowing what to say. It had been so long that he had felt a desire this strong. It had been even longer that someone had been this intimate with him. Even to have his legs spread and y/n looking up at him with such care. They hadn’t even fucking done anything yet. Aaron closed his legs and y/n let him.

They wanted Hotch to know that he had full control of his body. Of what happened, if anything did end up happening. y/n stood and leaned close to him. With tender care, y/n took his chin in their hand and directed his face to look at them. y/n said, “Desire isn’t a sin Hotch. There isn’t some cosmic scale weighing whether you looked at some girl crossing the road five years ago. It’s a natural feeling; it’s not wrong to feel it. If anything you’ve been restraining yourself. So have I.

I care about you too much to just keep dreaming about you at night. It feels like I’m using you. So now you know how I feel. Now would you please let me do this for you?” Aaron had to blink back a few tears at y/n’s statement. It was so honest that he could hardly see past it. It was blinding in its sincerity. To know that y/n felt like him in that way made him feel warm in a different way than his body responding to theirs. As a last half-assed defense, he said quietly, “I’m your boss.” The chuckle y/n let out had his eyes on them in an instant. Laughter hadn’t been the response he had expected. y/n was wearing their ‘color me surprised’ face. And Aaron laughed at the expression too. It was no surprise to both of them. But this wasn’t about power dynamics, it was about tenderness and longing, and when y/n asked, “Would you let me take care of you?” He nodded his head yes and then verbalized that he wanted it too. 

With his consent given. y/n pressed into him. Their hands found traction on his biceps, and they moved their mouth over his neck. y/n could feel his steady pulse under their mouth. At the contact, Aaron let out a sigh. His body reacted almost immediately. He shifted slightly, closed his eyes, and moved his head to the side a bit to give y/n better access to his flesh. When Aaron had gotten in the apartment, he had discarded his suit jacket and tie to be more comfortable. His shirt however was still buttoned tightly.

y/n’s hands worked at the top two buttons, but they were struggling as they tried to keep their mouth on Hotch’s skin while doing the buttons at the same time. y/n was both kissing and sucking at the sanative area. Aaron moved his arms to slide between their bodies, as he undid the troublesome buttons. y/n hummed their thanks, and as they moved to treat his clavicles and breast bone, they breathed hot and heavy over his neck. The semi-excited state of his cock grew quickly. y/n moved over the area with reverence. While their mouth worked over his partially exposed torso, their hands also moved. Their right hand was tracing the lines of his muscle on his stomach and the other was slowly trailing up and down his left thigh. When y/n placed their hand over his hardness, shielded by his pants and briefs, he groaned -- loudly. He felt embarrassed, and y/n looked up at him and said, “It’s okay to feel. I want you to enjoy this.” With how large he felt under their hand, y/n was excited to see his manhood.

They moved back to their knees, and this time, as they pushed his thighs open, Aaron let it happen. y/n set one hand on his hip and the other moved under his linen shirt, wrinkling it. y/n started kissing at his knee and slowly moved up his thigh. As they got close to his arousal, which was throbbing hard against his underwear and the zipper of his pants, they moved to the other leg and began the process again. Hotch let out a shaky breath. Whatever hesitations he had been having at the start were as far away as Neptune now. The slow buildup was driving him insane. Finally, y/n made it to his groin and kissed over his erection. From what they could feel, he was large. Long and wide. As y/n made their tactile observations with their mouth, they thought back to the dreams they had had of Aaron.

He was always well endowed in them, but now that they were here, he might even be bigger than they had imagined. y/n thought, ‘Of course he’s big. This is Hotch we’re talking about.’ They refrained from laughing but did let out a small breath. Their thought might be funny to them, but it might come off very differently to Aaron. They didn’t want to think they were laughing at him. They never wanted that.

Once they had kissed up the tip which was being held down by his belt, y/n moved their face away and started to undo the buckle of his belt. The metal was cool under y/n’s fingers. Once the belt was slipped through the front two belt loops and the two at his hips, y/n shifted forward and grabbed the hem of his shirt. They moved the stranded weave fabric up, exposing his stomach. y/n leaned in and kissed over his belly button. Their tongue licked over the well in his form, and Aaron moaned again. y/n then moved to kiss one of the exposed scars on his body. He looked down at y/n like this, and he wondered what it would be like with him in her mouth?

He stopped himself from bucking up at the thought. While y/n had been working over his body, his breathing had picked up. At this new sensation, he whispered their name. y/n made quick work of the buttons and zipper of his pants. They were careful that there were no unintended snags as they tugged the small pull down. y/n looked over his cloaked member. They kissed the shaft and then moved their hand to press against it before slowly stroking it through his gray briefs. y/n used their pointer and little finger to stimulate the sides, while their ring and middle finger applied pressure to the front of his penis. y/n didn’t tease him with their hand too long. This wasn’t the pleasure Olympics. They didn’t know how much stimulation Aaron was used to, and y/n didn’t want to overdo it for him. Before y/n removed the final layer of clothing, they looked up to Aaron again to ensure he was still on board with this last exposure. Hotch looked into their eyes, the question evident to him. In a deep voice, one full of need, he said, “Yes. If you’re willing.” y/n replied in the affirmative, saying, “I want to.” 

With consent given, y/n tugged at the elastic band of his briefs. Aaron put his weight on his feet and lifted his hips for them. y/n pulled down the fabric and revealed his member for the first time, as it rested on his body. He was large and as Hotch settled back down on the couch, they looked over him with pleasure. y/n’s hand circled the base, and they started pumping up and down with a steady pace and pressure. They praised him saying, “You’re very impressive Aaron.” Their praise and the feeling of their hands moving over him had him squirming and breathing heavily.

He was starting to sweat now, and he had never imagined it would be like this. Because if he had, he would never be able to let go. But now that it was actually happening, he couldn’t care about the complications. He felt so good with y/n rubbing their hand against his cock, and he muttered, “Fuck, y/n. You’re so good.” They smiled, and he cursed again as y/n used their other hand to stroke and circle the base of his member. y/n didn’t spend a very long time with their digits, after all, they had promised to show Aaron their talent, and having him cum in their hands was not on the agenda.

So y/n removed their d/h from the shaft and Aaron’s eyes grew wide with the sudden loss of contact. He felt like he might explode if didn’t have that stimulation moving over him. He was about to say something, but the breath was forced from his body as y/n took the tip in their mouth. y/n shifted on their knees a bit to be able to best take Hotch in. The carpet under their legs was decently comfortable, but the wood floor underneath was solid.

y/n paid attention to the tip first, suckling it and running their tongue over the slit on the top. Aaron tried to take a steadying breath, but he was falling apart at the sensation of pleasure rushing through him. When y/n was comfortable with the feel of him and had built some confidence at being able to take him in, they pushed their tongue down and hollowed their cheeks. Carefully covering their teeth, y/n moved their mouth further down his length. At this, Hotch tipped his head back and moaned again. y/n wasn’t even halfway down him before some precum leaked from the tip. y/n pulled up and sucked the briny ejaculate off his cock. y/n swallowed it quickly and moved back to working him over. They would think more deeply about the taste of Hotch’s cum later, but for now, they wanted to keep hearing Aaron mutter their name or try to keep his breathing even. They could feel from his reactions and the throbbing of his cock that he wasn’t in control at all, even if he was trying to be. y/n momentarily wondered how long it had been since anyone had done this for him. 

Aaron's width not only filled their mouth, but his length, even though they didn’t have a natural gag reflex, was still a bit too much for y/n to fully cover with their mouth. About an inch was left exposed to the cool air. Before y/n moved their free hand to make up the difference, they looked over Hotch. The sight of him, head tipped back, mouth open sent a wave of pleasure through them. y/n noticed Hotch’s hands gripping the side of the couch with white knuckles. As y/n continued to move over him, they used their free hand to grab Hotch’s left hand from the couch cushion and to set it on the crown of their head.

Aaron looked down at y/n as they moved his hand to the back of their head. He hesitated. He was desperate to take what was being offered on top of what was already happening. On top of the bliss and heat, he was feeling in his cock. y/n patted his hand on their head giving him a non-verbal “It’s okay.” Aaron couldn’t help himself and threaded his long fingers in y/n’s h/l h/c. y/n continued to move up and down his shaft, and then covered the base of his cock that couldn’t be inside their mouth. With Aaron fully enveloped, he bucked his hips up and as y/n had said, the extra pressure didn’t cause any gag reaction. In fact, _y/n_ hummed their satisfaction at his action.

He trembled under y/n and thought about what they had said earlier in the night about feelings not being wrong. And moving his hips had felt so, so, blindingly good that he did it again. And then again, and again, and again until he was sure he could feel himself ready to cum. y/n was intently focused on his pleasure. Aaron’s member was lined with a few thick veins running down the side and back. As Hotch started to take control of his own pleasure with gentle pressure to their head, y/n lifted their tongue up and down those ridges on his cock. This new sensation and the slight sucking that y/n was doing sent him over the edge. Aaron’s hand tightened in y/n’s hair, and he came with a shudder. He let out a loud moan and pulled y/n’s head off of his cock. They had only taken a bit of his semen in their mouth. y/n wondered why he hadn’t let them swallow his ejaculation, but didn’t ask now. There were still so many things to know about him. Things they hoped they could learn together with time. y/n stroked his thigh softly as he rode out his orgasm. Seeing him so out of control only wanted to make them care for him more. 

When the waves of pleasure subsided, Aaron relaxed back into the couch cushion. He closed his eyes because he was afraid of what he would see in y/n’s eyes if he opened them. He wasn’t fully sure how to cope with what they had given him. A soft touch of his thigh did eventually made him see y/n, and they were looking at him with a care he had rarely seen in his life. He swallowed back some tears, and he patted the couch next to him. As y/n got up from their knees, and sat next to him. He pulled his underwear over his nakedness. His cum was staining his shirt and pants and he would need to launder and shower after he talked to y/n.

y/n sat and gave him space, but he needed to feel them close to him. To have this living, breathing care in his arms. He turned to face y/n and asked, “May I hold you?” y/n nodded, and Aaron moved his arm to rest behind their lower back. He pulled y/n close to his side, and they turned toward him softly. y/n placed their head on his broad, muscular shoulder. There were a few moments of comfortable silence before y/n said, “You don’t ever owe me anything, Aaron. You know that right?” The question lingered until Aaron’s hand moved to the back of y/n’s head, gently running his digits through the smooth hair.

A different kind of touch than what he had been doing a few minutes before. Now that he had been sated, he feared that a gulf would form between them. But y/n’s comment gave him something to think about, to still his nervous mind. Finally, he replied, “But I do owe you things y/n. I owe you safety on the field, professionalism in the office, and privacy. I feel like I owe you more than those things as well.” y/n’s hand was back on his thigh again and they replied, “Okay, valid point. At the job, you do play a different role, but we’re both adults Hotch. We’re not teenagers trying to shag in the high school gymnasium. Given how long we’ve waited for something to happen between us, I think we can keep it together at work.” At this statement, Aaron chuckled lightly. y/n was certainly true about that. After a beat, y/n continued saying, “But is it so impossible to believe that we couldn’t do both? That we couldn’t care for each other outside of work?” Aaron pondered the question. He thought about what they had said. About the profound pleasure, y/n had brought him; and not just physical pleasure, but an emotional cover as well made him consider his words wisely, carefully. When y/n was with him like this, it felt like his many flaws disappeared. That he had a clean slate. Hotch closed his eyes and rested his head on top of y/n’s, as he said, “I willing to try.” 

When it was appropriate, Aaron quickly cleaned himself, changed, and then walked y/n back to their apartment. Before y/n went inside, Hotch placed a hand on their lower back and leaned down to kiss y/n’s forehead. They had both agreed to take a day and see if any other feelings, questions, or concerns that might arise once they were apart. They scheduled a meeting of sorts for Sunday to talk more deeply and thoroughly about what this relationship might look like. When they parted for real, Aaron walked down the quiet street. It was late in the night, but he didn’t feel tired. As he walked, he considered how physically closed off he had been the last few months. Close off to the team and himself. But y/n had helped him see the sky again and no matter what happened after this, he would always be grateful for that. 

On Monday, y/n went to see Garcia. To honestly say, “What the hell Pen?” However, the technical analyst had been watching y/n and Aaron pine for each other for two years and even though her comment at Rossi’s had been a Freudian slip, she still noticed how the pair spent a long time in the kitchen. How they had both come back flushed, eyes wide. Once y/n stepped into Garcia’s space, Penelope could see that something happened and did a little happy dance in her chair before getting up and dragging y/n into her office, closing the door. Once they were alone, Pen said, “y/n tell me everything.” y/n flushed, a bit exasperated, and said, “The answer is, I may never tell you anything about my sex life again. But thanks, Penelope.” y/n winked at their friend and left the office with a smile on their face. Garcia gave a little excited scream of happiness as she moved back to her desk. Sometimes when things didn’t go to plan, it still worked out.

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[jocollins]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale Additional Tags: Miscommunication, Jumping to Conclusions, Idiots in Love, Emotional Hurt, Angst, Jealousy, Jealous Derek Hale, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Arguing, idiots being idiots, Insecure Derek Hale, Insecure Stiles Stilinski Summary:

When you have issues, it’s so easy to fall into miscommunication born arguments. aka Stiles saw an art piece, rambled about how sexy it was. Derek got triggered, jumping to conclusions.

[bottombaron]

I'm starting to wonder if there is actually something legit about the 'right time' to turn Guillermo that Nandor keeps talking about...

It was brought up again in the premiere and something about how Guillermo said that "deep down I'm not ready [to become a vampire]" before Derek jumped him...

...what if Nandor hasn't actually been putting it off for no reason...what if there is actually a 'right moment' for it and this whole time we were thinking that moment had to do with Nandor being ready but what if it's about Guillermo being ready??

[irish-urn]

hi i’ve read a couple of your dasey fanfics and omg your such a good writer!!

im wondering what your take is on emily and her and casey’s friendship? personally, i always saw her as a bad friend to casey. she seemed to be really embarrassed by casey most of the time (ex: remember the klutzilla episode when derek had to tell emily to go be by casey’s side). she cared more about popularity than casey.

also the truman situation also really showed how bad of a friend she was. she went on a date with him after he voted casey a 6 and a 1/2. there are so many other instances where she wasn’t a really good friend to casey, but these are the first to come to mind.

Ohmigosh, hi!!! Thank you so so much!! I'm so pleased my Dasey fics are to your liking.

Oof. Emily. That's a... That's a subject. As a whole, if we take the average, no, I don't think Emily is a very good friend to Casey. But... I don't think Casey is necessarily an easy person for Emily to be friends with; by which I mean, the things that Emily cares about are rarely the things that Casey cares about, and a lot of times Casey loudly goes and does her own thing because she feels she's in the right. Because Casey is our narrator, we're kind of biased in her favour, but from Emily's pov, it might feel like she and her advice are being blown off.

I think too, another thing we need to remember is that for a good deal of the show, Emily has a crush on Derek, and that flavours a LOT of her actions. I remember having a crush in high school (although I was in massive denial for the majority of the crushing period): you do stupid things, you say dumb words, and sometimes you hurt others just for the chance of being noticed by your crush. If we consider that Emily has a big crush on Derek, and a significant portion of Casey's actions are either directly or indirectly going against Derek and his wants, then Emily is in a tricky position. She wants Derek to like her, but Casey expects Emily to be on her side. I can see why she falters a lot.

Also: Emily is clearly smart and a decently liked person, but she's very insecure. She feels like a wallflower, and she's standing next to Casey, who draws a lot of attention (even if it is often accidental). She doesn't want to be pulled into the spotlight this way; she wants to control the way she'll come into being.

All that being said, I think there are parts of Casey that Emily must admire because there are numerous times where she ends up joining and helping Casey, despite her earlier reluctance -- see when Derek asks for her help in manipulating Sam and Casey, see when Casey tries to run for class president, etc. However, again, you're right: there are lots of times where she falters as a friend.

So, much like the majority of the LWD characters, I think Emily is rather complex. I think she has a lot of flaws and a lot of good points. I DON'T think she's a good friend to Casey, but I also don't think Casey is a great friend to Emily either. Honestly, they seem more like friends by proximity than anything: they're neighbours and close locker mates (if I remember correctly; I might not), they're both smart girls with big dreams and uncertain of how to achieve them. I think Casey deserves better friends, which is why I try to give her a couple in my fics, but I also think Emily deserves better than she got too.

[sapphireginger]

Chapter #7

Summary:

Stiles smiles, feeling giddy and bites his lip to stifle a nervous giggle. He has a date. He, Stiles freaking Stilinski, has a date with Derek. He has a date with Derek who is the definition of a Greek god with the heart of a Hufflepuff. After one last check of his appearance in the mirror, Stiles grabs his keys, wallet and phone and heads to the front door. True to his word, Derek pulls up exactly fifteen minutes after he sent the text. Stiles grabs his jacket and after locking up makes his way to Derek’s car. Derek jumps out and opens Stiles’s door, both of them grinning. “Thank you,” Stiles says with pink cheeks. “You’re welcome,” Derek replies with cheeks just as pink.

Stiles hurries home and then freezes when the front door closes behind him. Is he really going to do this? Maybe he should have waited. He’s not a one night stand kind of guy and well, he doesn’t know where Derek lives. Truth be told he doesn't really know Derek at all, and Derek doesn't know him. This is all so new and what if it goes horribly wrong. He can’t just bring someone into his and Olivia’s lives until he's sure about them and if they’re gonna just fuck around, then it won't work. Wait.

The amber eyed man takes a deep breath and reminds himself that Derek has a kid, an adorable kid, and therefore he wouldn’t do that would he? Derek wouldn't just fuck around, right? Stiles doesn’t want their kids to get hurt if things don't work out between them. He also doesn’t want to get Olivia’s hopes up. He hasn't dated anyone since he had Olivia.

He closes his eyes and goes through his breathing exercises. He takes a deep breath in for a count of four, holds it for a count of three and then exhales for a count of five. His phone buzzes after the fifth time he takes a breath.

[Erica] Don’t overthink this and yeah, I know that’s exactly what you are doing right now. So, don’t. Take a minute to breath and get your head on straight. Then, go get ready and be your sexy, nerdy self with that gorgeous guy. Boyd and I have Olivia. She's safe and she’s already convinced Boyd to let her teach him how to braid her hair. We’ll make a night of it. Let yourself have this, Batman. You deserve it. Now go get it Tiger!

Stiles smiles and sends back a thumbs up emoji as he hurries upstairs to shower. He allows the tension to bleed out of his body as he soaps up his hair, the chestnut curls longer than normal but he prefers them this way. The feeling of the water and soap suds on his skin is relaxing. He’s about to get out when he pauses, his stomach flipping as he thinks back to what Cora said about a hotel room. He starts to feel a tad self-conscious. He knows he looks good because he’s been told as much a lot, He works as a zipline instructor and owns the park. So, he's on it every single day, working his muscles, but what if Derek—His hand grazes his soft cock and then his finger grazes his hole. He chews his lip and starts debating if he should shave. 

Now, Stiles is aware that some guys don’t care but he cares about looking and feeling his best. He doesn’t like having a lot of hair himself. He’s glad he had shaved the night before. So, he’s basically bare right now except for a small amount of hair at the base of his dick. 

After debating for five minutes, he shakes his head and runs his trembling hands through his hair, letting the water run down his face. He’s not going to do anything. Either Derek will like it, or he won’t but there’s no use overthinking it. Plus, there’s no guarantee that they’ll get to that point tonight or anytime soon, no matter how much UST Erica claims there is between them. They just met and Stiles has never put out on the first date let alone the second or third. Not that he expects there to be more, but he hopes there will. There's just something about Derek and it's another reason why he's not going to do anything but be himself.

With that decided he gets out of the shower, dries off and secures the towel around his hips. He heads to his closet and doesn’t let himself dwell on what he’s going to wear. He easily pulls on a long-sleeved button up shirt that is wine red. He grabs out black boxer briefs, black dress pants and his black dress shoes.

In less than fifteen minutes, he’s taking in the sight of himself as he looks in the mirror, unbuttoning and rolling up his sleeves. Erica always says that his forearms are drool worthy and Stiles has to agree. He’s startled when his phone buzzes suddenly from where it sits on his dresser. He fumbles with it as he unlocks it to check his messages.

[Derek] Hey. It’s Derek. I should be at yours in about fifteen minutes. Is that okay? [Stiles] Perfect! I’m ready.  [Derek] See you soon! [Stiles] Can’t wait!

Stiles smiles, feeling giddy and bites his lip to stifle a nervous giggle. He has a date. He, Stiles freaking Stilinski, has a date with Derek. He has a date with Derek who is the definition of a Greek god with the heart of a Hufflepuff. After one last check of his appearance in the mirror, Stiles grabs his keys, wallet and phone and heads to the front door.

True to his word, Derek pulls up exactly fifteen minutes after he sent the text. Stiles grabs his jacket and after locking up makes his way to Derek’s car. Derek jumps out and opens Stiles’s door, both of them grinning. “Thank you,” Stiles says with pink cheeks.

“You’re welcome,” Derek replies with cheeks just as pink.

Once Stiles slips into the passenger seat, Derek shuts the door and slips back into the driver's seat. Stiles smiles softly at him. “So where are we going?”

Derek glances over as he gestures to his GPS. “There. I hope.”

“You hope?” Stiles asks as he checks where they’re going.

“Uh yeah. So um,” he sighs. “We just moved here this summer and well I’m still new enough that I have to use the GPS.”

Stiles chuckles and offers a reassuring smile. “It’s totally okay, Derek. I get it. It was like that for me too. I can help with the directions if need be.”

Derek relaxes, sighing in relief. “Thank you. I feel a bit embarrassed that I can’t get us to dinner without directions.”

“Don’t feel bad. Even if we get turned around, we'll just get to have an adventure.” He nods at Derek and gestures to the road. “Shall we?”

“We shall,” Derek agrees as they pull away from the curb. “So how long have you lived here then?”

Stiles taps his fingers on his knee as he counts. “Ten years this December.”

“Wow. No wonder you are able to give me directions.”

“I love Charlottesville. I made it my mission to get acquainted with the town I’d be calling home.”

Derek smiles, taking a right at the stoplight. “Very pragmatic of you. I’ll have to get Cora to do that with me. Zeke wants to go to the museum that he saw on the map and well I had to google it because I didn’t even know there was one.”

Stiles coughs to hide his laugh. “Well, I can always be a tour guide if you need it.”

“I might take you up on that.”

They lapse into silence for a few minutes before resuming their relaxed conversation, going back and forth. 

🐾╰☆╮🍃╰☆╮🍃╰☆╮🐾

A half hour after leaving Stiles’s house they pull up to the restaurant and Derek lets the valet park his car. His hand finds the small of Stiles’s back automatically making both of them blush. They’re led to a booth, given menus and the waitress makes her way over.

“Good evening, gentlemen. My name is Marcy. Can I interest you in one of our fine wines this evening?”

Stiles bites his lip and after glancing at Derek shakes his head. “No thank you. I would just like a glass of water please?”

“Of course, sir. For you?” she asks, turning to Derek.

Derek hands the wine menu back to her. “Same.”

“I’ll have those out to you in a moment.”

She walks away and Derek brushes his fingers against Stiles’s hand who has his gaze averted. “Hey.”

Stiles looks up and blushes. “I’m sorry. I uh…” he trails off and clears his throat. “I drink wine but just not in public because I’m a lightweight,” he mumbles embarrassed. 

Derek chuckles and takes Stiles’s hand. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind. Plus, the less alcohol I imbibe, the more I’ll learn about you.”

“I’d think it would be the opposite,” Stiles replies, his nerves dissipating. 

“Perhaps. I'm sure that some might say that, but for me, I’m happy to forgo the wine. In fact, I'm of the opinion that you are finer than any wine ever could be.”

Stiles’s cheeks flush crimson. “Oh god. That was awfully cheesy,” he says and then grins. “I liked it.”

“Well, I like you,” Derek whispers with a gentle squeeze of Stiles’s hand.

The waitress returns with their waters, and they place their orders.

Dinner is amazing and they have a wonderful time. Derek is glad he asked Stiles out and Stiles is glad he said yes. He knows he’ll get a ‘you’re welcome’ from Erica and he’s grateful to her for this night.

[serious2020]

(via The White Settlers' Bizarre Economic Strategy Of Terrorizing Black People)

[hedwig221b]

not me writing insecure Stiles again but with baby Eli on his hands fully dependant on him and he has to be strong for his Eli but can't, because he feels lost and alone (he doesn't know that alpha Derek Hale is already going feral over both of them and is planning the juiciest courting in his life to free them and claim for himself)

[neapeaikea]

I finally saw the Teen Wolf movie and holy fucking shit. I have never been so disappointed and angry at what is supposedly just fun entertainment. What the fuck was that.

I knew all the spoilers but wanted to see it to get all the references in fic and whatnot, and I knew that it was a really bad, cringey movie, but even so... I think I've finally met a piece of canon that's not going to be my canon. Or a canon that I'm gonna need retconned pretty dang quick.

I've already read fix-it fics without having seen it, but now I not only need to read more, I think I need to write.

Just, WTF. WTFF.

[luveline]

could you write plss write something about JJ’s confession and spencer is with bombshell reader and loves her entirely but she gets extremly scared and insecure??

Your usual confidence is shaken after JJ’s confession, but Spencer is emphatically in love with you. fem, 1.5k

Spencer gives you a rundown after every case. Not just as a colleague who missed it, but as his partner who he loves. This one comes out slowly. Maybe even reluctantly. 

He’s recounting the moment JJ had been forced to tell a secret. “She told me she’s always loved me, but that things are too complicated now.” 

You freeze in total bewilderment, your mug of hot tea swelling over the rim to warm your fingers. Further overwhelmed, you set it down on the coffee table. 

You’re in pyjamas on the couch. Spencer sits in sweatpants on the other end of it, his own cup of tea in hand. He’s watching you carefully. You’d felt generously comfortable only moments ago, riding the high of his continued survival, but now you’re feeling sick.. 

“She told you she loves you?”  

“That she was too scared to tell me before.” 

“And what do you think about that?” 

“I think if I never met you, I would’ve spent half of my life calling after her.” His lips quirk into one of those typical awkward Spencer smiles. “What should I think?” 

“I can't really tell you what to think, Spencer.” 

If he never met you, he’d still want JJ? Or if you weren’t in the way, he’d be with her now? Or what? 

You’ve never been the insecure type, to begin. You met Spencer when you were both rookies trying to establish themselves in the BAU, Spencer as a new member, and you as a hopeful applicant. Each time you liaised, or came around to annoy your good friend Derek Morgan, Spencer would be there, looking cute and lonely as ever. It was easy to become his friend. Easier again to fall in love with him. 

Not easy to convince him you truly wanted to be with him, but you were persistent, and… honestly, you’ve never been in love with someone like you have Spencer. That’s why JJ’s confession sends ice water down your back. 

He lets you steep for a few minutes, but ultimately can’t take the weird silence. 

“Hey,” he says, clear worry in his tone as he puts his own mug on the coffee table and moves to sit beside you, his hand falling onto your knee. “Hey, what’s that face about?” 

“What face?” you ask, schooling your expression. 

“That face.” His head tips to the side. 

“I’m not making a face.” 

“I know you…” he says, a tenderness to him as his hand slips under your leg, his fingers pressing into the softest skin behind your knee. 

“What else did she say?” 

He nods with understanding. “She said she was too scared to say it before, and that things are complicated now, I guess because everything’s changed so much.” 

“She has a family.” 

“Angel, even if she didn’t, you think that would make a difference?” He finds your hand for kissing. “What do you think I said to her? I love you. I told her I love you, she already knew that, but I told her again. I said there’s nothing complicated about it.” 

You stare at him. 

“Nothing complicated about it,” he repeats, pressing your kissed hand to his neck and covering it soundly with his own.  

You’re not expecting the insecurity of it. You and Spencer have never been on surer footing. Every day with him seems to guarantee the next. He just has to look at you and you know he’s your person, but you forgot he could just love somebody else if he wanted to. You forgot he even liked JJ to begin with. This sudden reminder is like having your legs kicked out from under you. 

You panic. 

“I love you,” he says, your hand moving down, pressed with fever to his chest. “More than anyone.” 

“I love you too… I just– I guess I thought JJ was my friend,” you say. 

“She is. She said she needed something that would shock the UnSub… I don’t think she expected anything to change. We just needed to get out of there.” 

He almost died and you’re thinking about JJ. Shit, JJ could’ve died. 

You bow your head. “I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, no, for what? For what?” He sandwiches you to his side. “I’m sorry, it’s not fair. It puts you in a bad position. But you don’t have anything to worry about, I love you, and I don’t have any feelings for JJ.” 

You wonder if that’s true. 

You’re being unlike yourself. Embarrassed, you hide your face in his collar and let him hug you gently. 

“Sorry.” 

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I have no idea what to do right now.” 

Insecurity isn’t your style, but it’s not something that can be helped. You have, through everything, pioneered desperately to put your best foot forward. You wear clothes ordered to fit and then tailored for good measure, you take care of your appearance in a way that others might find objectionable. Who you are outwardly is just as important to you as the inward, which makes this all the worse. You hate being out of control. 

Spencer can make it better, despite his insistence on cluelessness. “You know it could never be anyone else but you, right?” he asks softly. 

“Sorry, I’m just… I’m not angry because she didn’t have a choice, but do you really believe she didn’t mean it? She could’ve made up a hundred different lies.” 

“I think she meant it,” he says, still speaking softly. 

“You understand why that would freak me out, right? If you never met me, you could be with her.” 

“I can’t imagine a universe where we don’t meet,” he says. 

Spencer delivers it with that sincere yet shy honesty that he tends to say many things. Like it’s simple, like he’s aware of how cleanly cut it is, and like he’s worried you won’t agree with him. 

You try not to act so small, straightening your back, and sewing an arm behind his neck and over his shoulder. You’re not feeling a hundred percent just yet, and so you press your forehead to his cheek, his hair kissing your  ear. Spencer drags your leg across his thigh and lets you stew for a little while. 

“I don’t want to be with JJ.” He squeezes you closer, nearly has you in his lap. “Is that what you’re worried about? If I never met you, I wouldn’t want to be with her, because she had no interest in me, or– or maybe she did, but she didn’t show it. I know exactly what it feels like now to be loved without remorse, to– to never be told I’m too much. JJ is one of my best friends in the whole world, but you’re my heart. You’re the only person who’s ever liked me for me, all of me, even when I know it wasn’t easy.” 

“It’s always easy,” you murmur.

“That’s not the only reason I love you, but it’s important. JJ’s smart and she’s beautiful and she’s such a good mom, but she’s not you. She could never be you, and I don’t want anyone that isn’t you.” 

You don’t want him to say cruel things about JJ and you’re glad when he doesn’t, but you definitely need his assurance that he prefers you. Then you feel silly, because it’s your bed he comes home to, your hip he’s caressing as he waxes poetic for you. 

You feel less like he doesn’t love you and more like you’ve made a fool of yourself for even suggesting it. “Am I your best friend?” you ask (childishly, depending on who you ask). 

“You’re my best friend. You’re the best friend. Every day I get to be with you is perfect.” 

“That’s really romantic,” you mumble, nearly not quite kidding as you rub the tip of your nose into his cheek. 

“You bring it out of me.” 

You sigh and wrap your arms around him tightly. “Thanks, Dr. Reid. I think you fixed me.” 

“You’re still making a face.” 

“You almost died today, baby. JJ isn’t the sole thing on my mind.” 

“Almost died is an exaggeration. We almost die all the time.” 

You sniff his hair at your discretion. When he holds you like he’s doing now, you realise you have no need to worry. How can he squeeze your soft sides and chase your nose with his if he doesn’t mean what he says? Spencer’s not like that. 

“I’m sorry I overreacted,” you say. 

“I don’t think you did. But would you feel better if I say it’s okay? Because it’s okay. I’m sorry for telling you something I knew would upset you, but we don’t–”

“Have secrets, I know.” 

You give him a teeny kiss by his ear. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs pleasantly. 

You press another right on top of the first. Slower, you peel away to stroke his hair. His eyes hold all the proof you need —you’re loved without competition.