#derek be nice to my baby he has enough trauma

[so-long-soldier28]

A few pictures of our isaac pookie

Welcome to the not witty isaac world pookie!!!!

🥰🥰 he's so cuteeee I'm in loveee... between him & kai, there's something about these traumatized, blue eyed boys; I'm starting to collect them like stuffed animals. 😅

and then on the flip side (not to be horny on main at 7am), this mans is so hot, too. those mildly slutty v-necks all the time (what can I say, I'm a neck person), and handsss... also jawline. I wanna bite him. (and he can bite me, too.)

I have to admit, my mind has already conjured up several things I could write for him, and one of those I have already written, but I feel like I'm cheating on kai 😭. but hey, kai's just gonna have to learn to share ig

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Why did you elbow me? 215

Achilles Castle part 117

Lemonade and lies Part 60

Nicholas (Nick) Stephen McSwarek undercover part 24

Officer Nicholas (Nick) Stephen McSwarek/Greig: pov I head to the gun range to pick up Kate she already mentioned to me via text that Pamela and Parker invited us to an outdoor concert tonight if the 4 of us get there earlier enough we can get good seats on the lawn the place has food trucks so no reason to worry about food. Me and Kate are supposed to pick up the second car tonight, if I drive there straight from the gun range that should leave us enough time to head out to the concert. As Kate dumps her bags in the car I ask if she is okay she says fine. Pamela shouts from across the parking lot see you guys tonight. The drive shouldn't be that bad, the guy we are meeting is the head of the drug unit, that way we can update him on the case, same with him.

Kate/Stana: pov me and Nick chat with the guy for a bit, he hands me the keys saying can she even be trusted behind the wheel. Excuse me, officer, what did you just say? Nick says that I'm more than capable of driving. The ride home shouldn't take that long. I put the radio on and head home, me and Nick, arrive around the same time. I head inside to change my shirt quickly. He says no nap today, I guess not. I didn't have any time even though I really wanted to take one. I’m exhausted for some reason.

Officer Nicholas (Nick) Stephen McSwarek/Greig: pov hey Kate maybe you should have a snack before we leave in case you can't have any of the food and don't forget to pack your bag for the concert. Bags might not be allowed at the concert even though it's outside.

Kate/Stana: pov I change into my flatline shirt and grab some cute pants. In the kitchen I eat some mixed fruit as a snack. Nick was nice enough to cut it up and put it in some Tupperwares for me the other night. Once I'm done eating I pack my bag for the concert and grab a blanket. Nick puts the defibrillator and oxygen in the trunk in case of an emergency. Pamela and Parker are bringing a big mat/blanket we can sit on during the concert. They are also bringing chairs just in case we want to sit on them instead. It's decided we are taking my car to the concert since it is smaller and will be easier to fit in the parking spots. Me and Nick are meeting them at the concert. Nick parked as close to the front as possible. Since i can't be without my medical alert bracelet a new one was made for me with my undercover name Lanie brought it over the other day. The guy checking bags is giving me a hard time since no bags are allowed for safety reasons. I explain to him my medical history and show him my medical alert bracelet. Sir, you can empty my bag and check everything over if you need to. Thankfully I used my Wells Cornell trauma center bag.

Derek concert security: pov in the Wells Cornell trauma center bag is benadryl for her food allergies, her medication, water, snack, a fan and a few other random things/her other medical supplies. I allow her bag through, I find something to stick on the strap of her bag that way people will know it's been checked.

Pamela: pov Parker is that Stana and Greig by security looks like the guy is giving her a hard time. I hope the security guy didn't give you guys too hard of a time, turns out he did give her a little bit of a hard time. How about we get some food before the concert that way the 4 of us can eat while the concert is going on. Parker is setting up the chairs while I roll out the blanket. He is going to sit with our stuff until the 3 of us are back then he will get his food since the both of us have been here before.

Jenny: pov it was decided that Ryan would come home early tonight for dinner then go back to the station afterwards and tomorrow he would work late. As soon as I walk in the door with Sarah Grace and she sees the cat she gets very excited. Be careful Sarah Grace she has a baby cat in her tummy just like mommy, well she actually has more than one baby. How exciting in a few days she will have her kittens. She is officially our cat and I will let you keep 1 kitten. I think uncle Javier and aunt Lanie want a kitten.

Ryan: pov I'm so glad I got to see Sarah Grace's reaction to the cat, Jenny is making chicken nuggets and fries. While we eat Sarah Grace tells me about her day at school. Once dinner is done it's time for Sarah Grace's bath which means I have to get back to work.

Esposito: pov Ryan your back quicker than I expected How was dinner, glad to hear that. He asks if me and Lanie still want a kitten, yes we do. I talked with her about it over dinner, which was spicy tacos. This case is bugging me because nothing is making sense who attacked our suspect and why. I still can't believe Kate and Nick stumbled onto a murderer while undercover and he had nothing to do with our case. What's crazy is there was a dead body in the house, while they were both there.

Castle: pov me and my friend arrive at the fancy restaurant. I order a soda while I look at the menu. Alexis and Dave are actually eating Chinese food at his house since his parents have to Work late. Plus mother is at home with a date or as she would call it a male friend. To be continued. ………….

[casually-slips-into-coma]

An Essay (sort of) Explaining the Many Grievances I Have With Debbie Gallagher

Once again, Debbie is the fucking worst.

I’ve been wanting to write out my feelings towards her character for a fucking minute now just so that I have a full concise list. Now, I can talk about how Debbie has a constant need for attention, or how her character has become someone unrecognizable in the past few seasons, or how she’s a terrible mother, but what I really want to focus on is the center of my issues with her: her sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about to be a homophobic rant or anything. I just think her queer development has been written terribly and that should be addressed.

Too often I see people praising queer characters or relationships based solely on the fact that they are queer, and as a member of the community, I get it. I am also starved for representation. This, however, does not mean I’m going to settle for annoying, poorly written characters.

Why Make Debbie Queer?

The first thing I want to address is why suddenly develop a WLW storyline for her. Given that Debbie started as a little girl on the show, this gives the writers a lot of opportunity to give a character like that interesting storylines because she does not yet have a solid personality. It gives writers the liberty to take her story anywhere they want to without the constraints of established character because she, as a person, is still developing into adulthood. The show runners unfortunately dropped the ball with this.

From season 4 and onwards was when Debbie began showing interest in dating, sex, and romance having just turned the corner to puberty. From then up until season 9, she has shown exclusive interest in men. It isn’t until Alex the welder that Debbie deviates from this path. Alex is portrayed as a stud who confuses Debbie. I am inclined to believe that Debbie was originally attracted to her because she was masculine and therefore close enough to the people Debbie had previous experience with.

This arc was treated very much as Debbie experimenting with her sexuality, something that Alex also ends up realizing after Debbie tells her that having sex with a girl is “not that bad” and “like having sex with yourself” (S9E4). Once this storyline wrapped up (with Debbie shouting “you make me want cock again”) the writers powered through, adamant about Debbie now being a lesbian.

I have two theories as to why they’ve been fighting so hard for her queerness.

1) This was around the time that Cam was leaving Shameless. This obviously didn’t end up happening, but I was under the impression that the writers were freaking out at losing their token gay character and needed to fill that position. When Cam ended up staying, they were stuck with a queer Debbie storyline and decided to just go with it.

2) Shameless was planning on doing a WLW storyline regardless of Cam’s choice to leave and were originally going to give it to Fiona and her lesbian tenant that she had a close relationship and a lot of chemistry with, but Emmy Rossum wanted to move on from Shameless, and so they pivoted and gave the arc to Debbie, a character that was not supposed to be moved in that direction and so her new sexuality seemingly came out of nowhere. Fiona as a bisexual character would have made sense. Debbie still does not.

Shameless’s Awkward Relationship With Bisexuality

One of the biggest issues I have with Debbie is her insistence on being a lesbian. Lesbianism doesn’t come out of nowhere. Bisexuality, however, can. When you grow up being told that you are supposed to feel attraction to men, and you genuinely do feel attraction to men (which Debbie has expressed in past seasons/episodes) it’s easy to ignore your attraction to women and write it off as something that either isn’t a big deal, or something that isn’t there. It’s a lot more confusing than being strictly at one end of the spectrum. It would have been so much more believable if they had simply made Debbie bisexual. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t because the show has a history with bi erasure.

Bisexuality has been treated badly all throughout Shameless, used as a vengeful plot device back in the earlier seasons where Monica was only ever with women when unmedicated. Then in Season 7 when Ian’s boyfriend Caleb cheated on him with a woman (enforcing the stereotype of bisexuals being unfaithful) Ian, possibly acting out of anger or ignorance, said things like “only women are bisexual. When a man says he’s bisexual he’s really just gay”. The only semi positive bisexual representation on the show was Svetlana and Vee when they were in a poly relationship with Kev (though I also think that storyline wasn’t handled as well as it could’ve been).

This fight against the bisexual label in media is not a new one but it is also a harmful stance to take when writing a sexually fluid character. Debbie declaring that she is, in fact, a lesbian after waxing poetic about how Matty had a big dick and Derek had a great body and knew what he was doing is not the way to go. 

You could argue that Debbie, like many other queer women, is an unfortunate victim of compulsory heterosexuality, but frankly I don’t think the writers are well versed enough in queer theory for that to be a possibility.

Debbie as The White Feminist

Debbie is the pinnacle of white feminism. It’s an unfortunate thought that has occurred to me a few times throughout the show. She talks a big game as a man hater and someone after the equal treatment of women but she herself participates in a lot of problematic and anti feminist behavior.

For one, she r*ped Matty back in season 5 when he was blacked out and unconscious. This was a point in the story that was glossed over and one where she suffered no repercussions other than Matty no longer wanting to be around her. It was explained in the show that Debbie didn’t realize what she did was wrong until after she was explicitly told so because she was maybe 14 when it happened (not 100% on the age Shameless is very inconsistent about timelines). It was treated as somewhat of a punchline, something that Shameless has unfortunately done more than once when referring to male sexual assault (Mickey’s r*pe, Liam in season 10 ((i think??)) and in this latest season, Carl) but that is a different topic. 

There was also the time in which she lied to her boyfriend about being on birth control so she could trap him into a relationship with pregnancy (which also counts as r*pe!!) Good on Derek for getting out of that.

Debbie has also been pro-life in the past. Now I understand this was when Fiona was pressuring her into aborting her pregnancy, and as a pro choicer myself, I believe that Debbie was fully in her right to have bodily autonomy and go through with the pregnancy. This isn’t where the issue lies. It’s when Fiona finds out that she too is pregnant and tells Debbie that she wants an abortion that Debbie accuses her of “killing her baby”. Again, her behavior could be explained by her age given that Debbie was still a young teen during this time.

When her actions as a White Feminist become less excusable is mostly in the latest season. Her relationship with Sandy is one that I’m not really happy with because Debbie doesn’t deserve her.

Recently, it has been revealed that Sandy is actually married to a man and has a son. It’s explained that she was basically married off against her will at the age of 15 to a man twice her age. This implies that the product of the marriage, her son, was most likely conceived through dubious consent (or worse) at the hands of an adult when she was just a kid. Just because Debbie thinks that Sandy’s husband “seems nice” does not give her the right to try and make a victim of grooming feel bad about not wanting to be with her abuser. While I understand that Sandy’s son has no fault in how he came into the world, I’m still gonna side with Sandy when it comes to having to take care of a child she didn’t want and who is most likely a source of trauma for her. It’s not difficult to sympathize with Sandy and see that she’s clearly gone through something fucked up and Debbie, despite claiming to love and support her, AND despite her dumb white feminist arc about wanting equal pay and all that jazz, turns her back on the girls supporting girls aspect of feminism.

This isn’t even mentioning how shitty it was to just leave Franny by herself and assume that one of her siblings would take her to school and pick her up and stuff as if they don’t all have separate lives. She talks a lot about being a good mother but decided to “let off some steam” by fucking off to a gay bar to get loaded on coke and fuck a gay man (which wtf thats not a thing that really happens with casual coke but whatever I guess). Once she realized she fucked up, instead of taking responsibility she decided to paint herself as the victim as well as spew offensive bullshit about how she “probably has AIDS now” because of her sexual encounter with a gay man. No lesbian in their right fucking mind would ever say that because as members of the LGBTQ+ community, you are at least a tiny bit informed as to how devastating and tragic the AIDS crisis was for queer people.

(I also have an issue with how Debbie capitalized on her felony as a sex offender and her sexuality to start her Hot Lesbian Convict business but I think that’s enough said.)

Blame the writers

The show got almost an entirely new cast of writers after season 7 which is why the show feels more like a sitcom with low stakes and no consequences rather than a drama, but if there is a queer writer on the team it’s not very evident. Even the better half of the queer relationship story, Ian and Mickey, I don’t feel has really been done justice since the change in writers. It’s just become painfully obvious that the actress is a straight girl playing a gay character (not to mention I have never seen any chemistry between her and all of her female love interests). I don’t fault Emma Kenney (the actress) for this. I actually really like her as a person and I like the videos she makes about the cast and such, and I think she does her best with the script she’s given. My complaints with Debbie are targeted entirely towards the writers.

This brings me to my final point. I need them to let Debbie be alone. Her whole thing for the second half of the season has been that she clearly has abandonment issues and is afraid of being alone. It’s why she’s so adamant about keeping the house and fighting with Lip about it (I’m actually on Debbie’s side for that one but that’s besides the point). They had her and Sandy break up which leaves Debbie to spiral further into her loneliness. From a writing point of view, it makes sense to take this opportunity to give her an arc in which she can overcome that and feel comfortable with herself so that she can move on as an adult instead of jumping into a new relationship. This is especially true since this is quite literally the last season ever of the show and any character development needs to be wrapped up. Introducing a new character out of nowhere does not give the viewers enough time to actually get invested in the new relationship. It’s also unfair to Debbie’s character because her arc is going to feel incomplete.

Anyway,,,,,,uuuhhhhh,,,,,feel free to add on if u want lmao

[iamtrebleclefstories]

Every Day I Love You More - Ch. 5

Chapter 5 - YOU DIDN’T KNOW? 

After having drunk sex, Jo and Alex are having a baby. An actual baby. Here’s how everyone finds out.

-Sequel to I’m Happy Right Here with You-

Alex slips up, more people find out. 

It had been three days since Callie found out about Jo’s pregnancy and there had been no shortage of teasing remarks from Callie and Cristina. Every time Jo or Alex were left in a room with either of them, they were forced to hear the endless jokes being made about them and their drunk sex baby. Jo found it funny if she was being honest. The lightheartedness of this pregnancy was so refreshing considering what happened the last time. The jokes were a welcome distraction from the fact that Jo was in the process of filing from divorce from Paul and her lawyer was going to submit those papers by the end of the week.

That morning, she’d woken up before Alex did, which wasn’t unusual. However, for the first time in weeks, she woke up without the sudden need to vomit. She laid there on her side and stared at his sleeping form for a while longer. It was surreal waking up next to him. This morning especially so, since it wasn’t clouded by overwhelming nausea. Jo was convinced that there was no way that this was her real life. She had to be dreaming.

She had been stroking his hair for a few minutes when Alex spoke, “You know, watching people sleep is kind of creepy.”

Alex opened his eyes only to find Jo rolling hers, “Can’t you be normal and just say, ‘Good morning, babe. I love you and I can’t believe you’re carrying our baby.’ Can’t you do that?”

“Good morning, babe. I love you and I can’t believe you’re carrying our baby,” Alex gave Jo a quick kiss as Jo gave him a look of annoyance. ��Hey! You’re not throwing up today. That’s a good sign.”

“Yup,” Jo nodded. “I feel great, actually. I think the baby finally decided to cooperate.”

Alex placed his hand on her flat stomach, “I can’t wait until you have a bump.”

“You mean until I get fat? Honestly, neither can I,” Jo smiled. “But Lucy said it might be a while before I start showing. I have a retroverted uterus so I’ll probably start showing later than most women. But I guess that’s a good thing. The longer I can hide my pregnancy, the less of a chance for Paul to find out and try plea presumed paternity and make our lives a mess.”

“He can try and try, but he won’t win, Jo. This is our kid and if we need to do a paternity test to prove it, then we will. He has no rights here,” Alex assured.

Jo took a deep breath and thought of how supportive Alex had been ever since she had confessed to him about her marriage. She exhaled, “You’re right. He has no rights. This baby is ours and he can’t take it away from us.”

They laid in the bed for a few more minutes in silence before deciding it was time to get up and get ready. After having been on Peds for over a month now, Jo had switched onto a different service for the next couple weeks. A part of Jo was a bit disappointed that she wouldn’t get to spend the entire day with Alex anymore, but she supposed she should be excited for a chance to learn something new. For the next two weeks, she’d be on neuro with Derek Shepherd.

When Jo and Alex arrived at the hospital, they parted ways and Jo went down to the residents’ lounge. She smiled as she saw her friends getting changed into their scrubs for the day. Jo grabbed a clean pair of scrubs and started to change clothes. Just as she was pulling her shirt off, she heard Stephanie whistle.

“Damn, Jo. Did you do anything different? Because your boobs look great,” Stephanie commented.

“Oh,” Jo laughed awkwardly. “It’s just a new bra… is all. Ever since Alex and I got together, I decided to update some pieces of my wardrobe if you know what I mean.”

“Look at Jo, trying to be all sexy for her man,” Stephanie teased.

“I bet he loves it,” Leah wiggled her eyebrows. “How many times a day do you catch him staring at your boobs in that thing?”

“Way too often,” Jo admitted.

The girls laughed and continued to get dressed. Once ready, Jo made her way to the Neuro ICU where she’d be meeting Dr. Shepherd for rounds. It had been a while since she had been on a neurosurgery, so Jo was excited for the next couple of weeks. The first patient she’d be rounding on was a trauma that came in last night. The man had massive internal injuries that were addressed immediately after coming into the hospital. He had not been stable enough last night to take in for surgery that would stop a slowly growing brain bleed, so Dr. Shepherd would take him in first thing this morning to correct it.

“Wilson. It’s good to have you on my service again,” Derek smiled as they walked out of the patient’s room. “How are you doing? I haven’t really gotten a chance to speak with you since you and Karev got together. He’s been hogging you to his service.”

“I doing great,” Jo grinned. “Excited to be on neuro again.”

“Well, you will be getting just a bit of peds today,” Derek shared. “We’ve got a baby with spina bifida that we’ll be working on this afternoon with Karev. Are you thinking about going into peds?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Jo shrugged. “I like everything. I do love peds, but who knows? Maybe I’ll end up in cardio or neuro or ortho. Don’t tell Alex I said that, though. I think he’s trying to be my Robbins.”

“No worries. Your secret is safe with me,” Derek chuckled. “Come on, let’s go. We’ve got a brain bleed to stop and a couple aneurysms to clip before our fun spina bifida surgery.”

The day went by pretty smoothly for the most part. The guy with the brain bleed came out of surgery without any major deficits. Jo had assisted in a couple aneurysm clippings and now they were on their way to the pediatric wing to visit the spina bifida baby in the NICU. When Derek and Jo arrived, Alex was already giving the parents a brief rundown of what their baby—Brandon’s—surgery would entail. Derek explained the procedure in a bit more detail and encouraged the parents not to fear.

While Jo prepped the patient, Derek and Alex prepared to scrub in together. Alex looked up at the older man, "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Karev. What is it?" Derek nodded.

"Has Jo been okay today? I'm just wondering because she looked a little dizzy and unsteady this morning before we left the house," Alex inquired.

"She's seemed alright to me," Derek encouraged. "We've performed quite a few surgeries today and she hasn't swayed once. Why is something wrong?"

"No," Alex shook his head. "I was a little worried. She just got over the morning sickness a couple days ago and it was pretty hard on her. I didn't want the next thing to be dizzy spells that could affect her work."

Unsure what to do with the new information he'd received, Derek just decided to go about the conversation as if he know what was going on, "Oh, well she's fine. Great even."

Alex nodded thankfully as Derek mulled over Karev's words. Alex must've thought that Derek already knew about Wilson's pregnancy from Meredith, so he decided to go about the procedure as if nothing had happened. The surgery was successful and Derek decided that he'd let Wilson leave early. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

As he arrived home that night, Derek kissed his wife and kids. He ate something quickly and spent the next few hours on the phone with D.C. as they tried to come up with more plans about the brain mapping initiative. Finally, at around eleven o'clock, he was able to get ready for bed. Derek had been sitting in the bed reading a medical journal when Meredith walked into the room.

“How was your day?” Meredith asked as she climbed under the covers.

“It was good,” Derek smiled. “I had Wilson on my service today. She is a very good and capable resident. Incredibly sharp. We clipped a couple aneurysms, stopped a brain bleed, and operated on a little boy with spina bifida.”

“Awe, like Zola,” Meredith commented. “Sounds like you had a pretty calm day today. Those are nice when you come home to two kids under the age of three.”

“You are so right,” Derek nodded and gave Meredith a quick kiss. “Oh! I almost forgot. Why didn’t you tell me that Alex is having a kid?”

“What?” Meredith sat up from the bed. “What are you talking about?”

“Wilson is pregnant,” Derek stated. “Karev mentioned something about how he was glad that she was mostly over the morning sickness now. But he said he wanted to keep a close eye on her because this morning at the house she seemed a bit dizzy.”

“What?” Meredith was confused. “Wilson is pregnant?”

“Wait… You didn’t know?” Derek asked.

“Would I be reacting like this if I knew?” Meredith was shocked. There was no way one of her best friends was having a kid and she didn’t know about it. “No. There’s no way. Alex would tell me if he were having a kid. He’s one of my best friends.”

“I don’t know,” Derek shrugged. “He mentioned the morning sickness so casually, it was like he assumed I already knew. That or he slipped up and didn’t realize what he said.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Meredith jumped up from the bed. “I can’t sit here wondering. I’m going over there right now to find out.”

“Meredith! It’s midnight. Don’t go bother them. You’ll see them tomorrow,” Derek tried reasoning with his wife.

“I can’t wait,” Meredith shook her head as she threw on a pair of jeans. “This is huge. This is life changing, Derek. This cannot wait until tomorrow.”

Before long, Meredith was on her way to Alex’s house. When she parked in the driveway, she searched around her purse for the old set of keys to the house. Finding them, she made her way up the porch steps and let herself in through the glass door. She walked up the porch steps and stormed into Alex’s room yelling, “You guys are having a baby?”

Alex and Jo—who’d been sleeping peacefully—startled out of sleep. Jo screamed as she saw Meredith’s dark figure lingering by the door. Alex sat up quickly, trying to assess the situation and determine if they were in any immediate danger. Finally realizing it was Meredith, he slumped back down onto the bed, “Dude. What the hell? Why are you yelling?”

“Is it true? Wilson are you pregnant? Are you guys having a baby?” Meredith interrogated.

“What?” Jo said, distraught.

“Derek said that Alex mentioned how he was happy that your morning sickness was gone, so then he asked me if I knew that you guys are having a baby.”

“Shit… I didn’t even realize I said that,” Alex rubbed a hand over his face. “Jo, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to tell him.”

“It’s okay,” Jo shook her head.

“So, it is true?” Meredith asked. “You guys are having a baby! Alex, how could you have a baby and not tell me about it? This is huge!”

“What is going on?” Cristina had woken up to shouting coming from down the hall and came to investigate once she recognized her best friend’s voice.

“Did you know?” Meredith turned to Cristina.

“Did I know what?” Cristina made a face. “And why are you screaming?”

“Did you know that Alex is going to be a father?” Meredith demanded.

Cristina froze, eyes wide, “Um…”

“Oh my God! You knew and you didn’t tell me,” Meredith accused. “I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me this. I had to find out about it from my husband.”

“Hold on, you told Derek before telling Meredith?” Cristina looked at Alex. “That’s a crappy move, man. Even for you.”

“I didn’t mean to tell Derek,” Alex defended. “I said something about Jo’s morning sickness and he must’ve thought that Meredith already knew.”

“Hello, pregnant person over here wants to speak,” Jo gathered everyone’s attention. “Look, Dr. Grey. We didn’t want to tell anyone until I hit twelve weeks. I’m sure you can understand that. Yang found out because she lives here and saw the pregnancy test boxes in the trash, and Torres found out because I had to leave the room for an x-ray. I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but if it makes you feel any better, there’s an ultrasound picture on the fridge downstairs.”

“Even Callie knows?” Meredith sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I was just a little blindsided finding out this way. I’m happy for you two. I’m sure you are going to make wonderful parents. Wait, you said you have an ultrasound picture already? How far along are you?”

Jo grimaced, knowing that as soon as she shared how far along the was there would be a whole new slew of questions. Jo took a deep breath, "Just a bit over ten weeks."

"How are you ten weeks? My birthday was ten weeks ago and you guys weren't together then," Meredith scrunched her face. She lowered her voice and sat down in front of Jo. "Are you sure Alex is the father?"

"Mer!" Alex chastised.

"What? I'm making a valid question," Meredith lifted her hands in apology. "As far as I remember, Alex, you and I had a conversation at my birthday party where I told you that you were being stupid and to make a move because I couldn't stand seeing you pouting and staring from afar."

"We did?" Alex asked. "I don't remember."

"Well, yeah figures, because you were completely wasted," Meredith reminded. "So, explain this to me so I can understand."

Alex and Jo both sat in silence, reluctant to verbalize what had happened that night between the two of them. Cristina, on the other hand, had been waiting for a moment like this to present itself. Bursting at the seams, Cristina blurted, "They had drunk sex the night of your party and accidently made a baby."

Meredith stood there stunned for a moment before breaking out in laughter, "Oh my... oh my God… you guys… Haha, you made a drunk sex baby. you know I can't say I'm surprised that this is how you are becoming a father, Alex. It's karma for all those years of being a man-whore. You on the other hand, Wilson, you surprise me. Didn't think you had it in you."

Jo buried her face in her hands in embarrassment and Alex glared at Meredith and Cristina as he felt his face get hot. This was not how he had pictured Meredith finding out about his kid, but he guessed that there was really no other way that would feel like them. Alex was glad that Meredith knew, because now he could ask her tons of parenting advice and tips on dealing with the hormone changes Jo would be experiencing very soon.

"Wow. I can't believe it," Meredith said after calming down. "Alex Karev. In love. A father. you're all grown up. You see, I told you that Wilson would be good for you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You were right," Alex grumbled. "Now get out of my room and go home."

"I'm not going home," Meredith stated. "I'll stay with Cristina. Now, Jo you said something about an ultrasound picture?"

"Yeah... it's downstairs on the refrigerator," Jo replied, removing the hands covering her face. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about hiding it when you come over."

Meredith smiled, grabbing Cristina by the arm to drag her down the stairs to look at the sonogram. Just as Meredith was about to leave the room, she popped her head back in the doorway, "Oh and just so you know, I fully expect to get a copy of every ultrasound photo from here on out."

"Get out!" Alex huffed.

"Goodnight," Meredith grinned.

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

Be Still

A/N: Happy almost grey’s day! i’m a slut for hurt/comfort so here’s some amelia-centric amelink & amelia & meredith hurt/comfort! this is a little Wild bc a week ago I hadn’t even seen 15b lmao but i think this relationship is so good for her, and i’m really excited to explore a bit more about her past bc while private practice showed a lot of her background, grey’s not so much!

I’m thinking about writing a few more scenes (namely some therapy & an ultrasound scene) so lmk if you want some more amelink hurt/comfort! 

EDIT: I changed the title bc I’m a LOSER and I’ve been listening to the Killers a lot.

***

“If you ever feel you can't take it anymore Don't break character, you've got a lot of heart Is this real or just a dream? Rise up like the sun, labour till the work is done” 

-The Killers

***

Link leaned in to kiss her as she swung away. So he thought this was a sexy kind of stop on the landing of the stairs and not an I'm-about-to-flip-your-life-upside-down kind of stop on the landing of the stairs. “What’s wrong?” 

“Can we talk somewhere more private?” 

"Bad private?" 

"Pregnant, actually." 

Link just stared back at her. 

"So… can we go somewhere and talk?" 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea.” They started up the stairs when Link’s pager started beeping. “Shit. I’m being paged.” 

Amelia couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved. She knew this conversation needed to happen, but it was all beginning to feel a little too real. “That’s fine. We can talk later. Text me when you’re free.” 

“Okay.” His gaze lingered on her a little bit too long. “We’ll talk later.” 

They parted and Amelia tried not to think about anything that had just happened - talking to Carina, taking a pregnancy test, the interaction with Link. She drove back to Meredith’s house in a daze. This was not how she expected this day to go. She pushed all of the thoughts away because she felt like if she let them take hold, they would kill her. But she felt them creeping in anyways. By the time she reached the house, her eyes were red and puffy and her heart was racing. 

Meredith saw her as soon as she opened the door. “Amelia? Are you okay?” Shit. 

She tried to tell Mer that she was fine, but all that came were more tears. She ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She crawled onto her knees and sat with her back against the bathroom counter. She dug her fingers into the bathmat, as if that could hold her to the present, but it was no use. She could feel herself slipping. She was nothing more than fear and the memories suffocating her. There was knocking at the door, and Meredith asking what was wrong, but she was too far away. 

Suddenly, Meredith was on her knees beside her, with Amelia’s hands in hers. 

“Amelia? You’re having a panic attack. Everything’s okay. Come on, stay with me. Stay here. Amelia, you’re okay. I know you’re scared, but I promise whatever’s happening, everything is going to be fine.” Slowly, she started returning to reality. She didn’t know when she’d started hyperventilating. Everything began to slow down and her sense of imminent doom vanished, but reality crashed back into her. She withdrew from Meredith and turned away, breaking into ugly sobs. Meredith pulled her back into her arms and held her as she cried. Once her crying had subsided, Meredith finally spoke. “I’m going to go make you some tea, okay? You can come down when you’re ready.”

Once Meredith was gone, Amelia wasn’t sure how much time she sat there, trying to pull herself together. Finally, she stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. She was a mess. She splashed some water on her face and tried to tidy her hair, but she still felt like a disaster. She took a deep breath and tried to hold herself together long enough to make it down to the kitchen. 

Meredith was sitting at the island reading a magazine. Amelia silently sat down at the table. Meredith brought over the teapot and a couple of mugs and went to the closet and grabbed a blanket, offering it to Amelia. She pulled it over shoulders and tightly around her torso, trying to take comfort in the slight release from the pressure of it around her back as Meredith poured her a cup of tea. 

Amelia slid her finger across the warm ceramic. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Not just for the tea, for-” 

“I know.” 

She took a small sip of her drink, but she still felt a little sick to her stomach. She hadn’t gotten morning sickness at all during her first pregnancy, so she was pretty sure her stomach was churning more from her anxiety levels than hormone levels. “Sorry, I know the last thing you want to do when you get back from community service is take care of more trash.” 

“Amelia…” 

“It was just a joke. Not a funny one, I guess.” She bit her lip. “I’m pregnant.” 

Meredith’s eyes widened. “You’re sure?” Amelia nodded, not making eye contact. “Do you know how far along you are?” 

She fiddled with the fray of the blanket, trying to distract herself just enough to maintain composure. “Ten weeks, I think. God, I completely skipped my period and I didn’t even realize. Then I went to Carina to talk about kinky stuff and she was all like ‘I noticed that you’re pregnant’ and I was like,” Amelia looked at Meredith miming wide-eyed shock. She retreated back into herself. “I don’t understand how this even happened.” 

Meredith sighed. “Sometimes things just happen. Do you… Do you know what you want to do?” 

Another wave of nausea arose in her throat. “I’ve been asking myself that for the past seven years,” she said quietly. 

“Listen,” Meredith told her, “I don’t know what that means, but whatever you want to do, I’m here. And Link’s a great guy, I’m sure he’ll support whatever you decide. You’re not alone.” 

Amelia’s lip quivered and another flood of tears started running down her cheeks. 

“Is there something else going on that I don’t know about?” She nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Amelia was still for a moment. “Can I show you?” she asked softly. She was so emotionally exhausted. She nearly felt empty, and she knew what happened when she reached her emotional limits. And she knew she was going to need to have a similar conversation with Link later that night. 

“Of course.” 

Amelia led Meredith up to her room and instructed her to have a seat on the edge of the bed. She knelt down to her second from the bottom drawer and reached into the very back. She pulled out a wooden box, about the size of a breadbox. She sat down next to Meredith and carefully opened it, offering it to her. Inside, there was a small urn, a clear plastic bag containing a birth and death certificate, a small hospital blanket, and a tiny baby hat.

Meredith pulled out the certificates first. “Amelia…” she whispered. 

“I never told Derek.” 

“Who else knows?” 

“Well, all of my friends from LA, obviously. Owen. Alex. You.” 

“Alex?” 

She shrugged. “He was just in the right place to cry to, I guess.” 

Meredith gave her half of a smile. “Well, now I know why you never answered the phone when we were trying to reach you and your family about Derek after the plane crash.”

“Ha, yeah. I actually tried to call him a few days after… I think I just regretted not telling him and him not being there with me. He didn’t answer, obviously. I finally confronted Addie about it, and she just… she had this look on her face. She knew about the plane crash, but she didn’t want to tell me because she thought it would be too much. So, yeah. Guess that was a pretty shitty week for everyone.” She started to laugh, and Meredith joined her. She tried to stop herself, unsuccessfully. “Why are we laughing?” 

“You’re the one who started it!” 

“I think I ran out of tears!” The laughing subsided, and she plopped backwards onto the bed. A few moments later, she heard the box snap shut, and Meredith joined her. 

“You know, this does explain a few things.” 

Amelia turned to her. “Like what?” 

“Well, you kind of spun out a little. After the pregnancy scare with Owen.” 

“Yeah. It wasn’t just a little.” 

“I was trying to be nice.” She paused. “Have you seen a therapist?” Amelia scoffed. “I’m serious. If you’re going to do this, or even if you’re not, you’re going to need someone to talk to who can actually help, not just laugh with you about shared traumas.” 

Amelia exhaled. “I know.” 

“That was easier than I thought.” 

“Listen, I have plenty of self-awareness. That doesn’t mean I do anything about.” 

Meredith sat up. “I’m making you an appointment. Send me your schedule.” Amelia groaned. “It’s really not that bad. And you get to talk as much as you want for an hour and no one can call you annoying for it.” 

“Fine.” 

“Listen, Amelia.” She paused. “I just want you to know… This could be a good thing, if you wanted it to be. I know it’s scary, and it’s not going to be easy, but I meant it. You’re not alone in this. You have people to support you. And you can’t let your past stop you from going after what you want. If this is what you want.” She stood up and started for the door, but stopped and turned. “And for the record, I think you are a great mother.” 

***

Meet me at 8? 

Sure. 

Her heart-to-heart with Meredith was helpful, but she really needed to get out of that house for a couple of hours. Not that this conversation was much of an escape. She really had no idea what to expect. She texted him her location and waited. He seemed like he liked kids. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants his own, though. And he didn’t even know her history. All of the shit she’d done. 

"Hey." 

She snapped back to the present. "Hey." 

Link sat down next to her. “So…” 

“So,” she breathed. “This is basically, like, the exact opposite of taking things slow, but… I-” she took a steadying breath. “I want to do this with you. If you want to.” 

He took her hand. “I want to. I want to do this with you, too.” She could tell there was a lot more he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure where their boundaries were anymore. “I- I really like you. I like talking with you, and laughing with you, and just being around you. But I also know what it’s like to have parents who hate each other. I mean, a part of it was definitely the stress of me being sick, but their problems started before that. I knew that they never would have stayed together for as long if it hadn’t been for me. I would never want that for my child. So maybe we could just keep doing what we were doing? And we can try to figure out if we work, you know, together? Or if we should just, like, co-parent?” 

Amelia smiled. “That sounds perfect.” 

“On that note, I think we’ve reached the point in our relationship when I can invite you to sleep over at my place tonight?” 

She narrowed her eyes. “Have we?” 

“Just one night.” 

“I have to be back here early tomorrow.” 

“So we’ll have dinner and go to bed. Isn’t that what sleepovers are for?” he teased.

She elbowed him playfully and tried somewhat unsuccessfully to hold back a smile. “Fine. Just one night.” 

He grinned. She liked making him grin. “Meet you at my place?” 

“Sounds good.” She always kept a couple of changes of clothes and some toiletries in her car because she never knew when a 12 hour shift would become a 24 hour shift. They stood to start towards their cars, but something stopped her. “Wait!” 

He turned towards her. “What?” 

“There’s one more thing I need to tell you.” He stared at her expectantly as she took a deep breath. “Listen, there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me. There’s a lot of shit that I’ve done and seen and been through that I-” She shrugged. “I just don’t really talk about. I mean, you got some of it from my sisters, but that’s just teenage Amelia. Adult Amelia… well, let’s just say teenage me has got nothing on the train wreck that is adult me.” She paused, trying to find the right words, attempting to navigate which details she wanted to share. 

“You don’t have to-” 

“No, I do. I want to. When I was living in LA, I relapsed. Not too long after I got out of rehab, I realized that I was pregnant.” Her voice was shaky, and she crossed her arms tightly across her torso to try to steady herself. “He had anencephaly. It’s a type of neural tube defect. He lived for about 43 minutes.” There were tears in her eyes. Fuck these damn hormones. “So, yeah. I mean, there’s like, statistically a slightly higher chance that this kid will have a neural tube defect, and if nothing else, I’m just going to be even more of a mess than usual, which shouldn’t even be possible. So you basically chose the worst possible person to accidentally have a kid with, but I guess it’s a little late for that now.”  

He gently pulled her arms from across her chest and held her hands in his. “Amelia, there’s no one in the world I’d rather accidentally have a kid with. I think you’re probably the bravest, most badass person I’ve ever met. And you care about things - about people - with your whole heart. I know that that’s gotten you hurt in the past and it’s gotten you into messy relationships, but, I mean, I don’t know how many other people - former addict or not - that would meet a homeless teenage drug addict and their instinct would be to take them in. What I’m trying to say is there’s always going to be risk. But some things just have to be worth the risk, right?” She leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I’m in this with you, no matter what.” 

She blinked away her tears and withdrew from his arms. 

“So… meet you at the apartment?” 

She nodded.

***

A half an hour later, she was standing in Link’s closet-sized bathroom. He’d started cooking dinner, and she ducked out to change into something more comfortable. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she could see it: her boobs were definitely a bit bigger and her bra didn’t fit quite right anymore, although she was surprised that it was something that Carina noticed. Unless Carina liked to notice her chest. 

She rubbed her hand over her bare tummy. It terrified her, thinking about the tiny little fetus inside of her. But her life was a lot different now than in her last pregnancy. She was sober. She was healthy. So was her partner. She closed her eyes and tried to visualize it: a healthy pregnancy, a healthy baby. The idea was way too far away from her for her to cling to it, but it seemed noticeably closer than it had been that morning in Carina’s office. 

After eating and cleaning up, Amelia all but collapsed into Link’s bed. There’d been some kissing and flirting in the kitchen, but she didn’t have the energy for anything more. Neither of them did. It had been a long day. But lying there, under the covers in her boyfriend’s arms, she started to believe that maybe what Link had said to her weeks ago could be true: that maybe the worst had already happened for her, and that this could her good apple to balance out the rest.

[sourwolfstories]

Hey! Can you recommend some fics with doctor!Derek or Doctor!Stiles pls? Or where one or both of them are nurses? Thanks 😊

(this is exactly) where you’d want me by decideophobia

“Do you even have any nice and soothing words in your repertoire?” Stiles asks, holding still while McBroody shines a light into his eyes. “Or is it only me who they let you loose on?”

“I actually just downloaded a new set of comforting phrases to use on patients this morning but I haven’t had a chance to listen to and internalize them yet. I do know how to say, Good news: you’re not dead, and We only need to take off one of your legs, though.”

OR, the one where Stiles keeps ending up in the ER and Derek almost gets brain damage from so much stupid.

An Artist’s Personal Statement by green-leaf (greenleaf)

Being the middle child of five siblings, Stiles was used to taking the backseat. He was twenty-one years old, mouthy, pale skinned, and twitchy, and was probably the most overlooked in such a talented and good-looking family. Not only that but more often than not, he was bullied, teased, exposed (in a literal sense) and also ended up getting banged up and bruised. Thank goodness, there’s Dr. Hale to patch him up after all is said and done.

Just a monster of a fic with doctor!Derek and artist!Stiles, complete with a couple more Stilinskis and a gang of well-meaning friends running around trying to hook them up and keep them together.

Painful Maneuvers by saraubs

Still, whether or not the nurses want to hear it, Derek has some serious issues with the way Stiles skates around the ward, upending instruments and scattering papers and chewing on pens. His scrubs never fit right and are always riding up to show patches of smooth, pale skin and his hair is frankly pornographic. It’s just so…unprofessional.

Stiles is a hyperactive Obstetrician. Derek is a grumpy Midwife. It’s true love (and babies!).

Laughter is the Best Medicine by literaryoblivion

He hasn’t always been deaf.

Although, sometimes, he wishes he was. Mainly because he knows what he’s missing. He remembers what the rustle of the wind in the trees sounds like, remembers what kids playing in the playground sounded like, what laughter sounded like.

He misses it. A lot.

Misdiagnosis by Ilovesocks_24

It’s actually pretty simple:

Isaac is Stiles’ son.Derek is Isaac’s pediatrician.Stiles is Derek’s mate.

Or.

The one where Dr. Derek diagnoses Isaac with a fake disease in an effort to see Stiles more often and ultimately tell him that he is Derek’s mate.

I Need a Doctor by remy (iamremy)

The cute doctor with the flailing arms and pretty fingers is really getting on Derek’s nerves.

OR

The one where Derek is always in the ER for something or the other, and ends up getting close to his attending physician.

Like a Fire in your Heart by LacrimaDraconis

It was one of the slow night shifts, that Stiles got assigned one Derek Hale, captain of the local fire department, as a patient.

Broken in Your Arms by goldxblooded

Stiles finds a broken man with no memories. In the process of helping him remember who he is, Stiles finds himself feeling things he swore to never feel again. The past is brought to light, two broken halves try to make one whole.

No Superman by WhoNatural

(AKA The Sterek Scrubs AU)

In which Stiles learns that med school didn’t prepare him for much at all; even the most epic of bromances can be weakened with the right amount of long, curly hair and dimples; and sometimes, first impressions aren’t all they’re cracked up to be - it’s the digging beneath the bravado that reveals who’s worth getting to know a little better.

Dr. Hale’s probably still a dick, though.

But, Doctor! by stilinskisparkles

“We had to splint a girl’s leg in a ditch,” Scott says excitedly.

“Bro, you sound way too happy about that,” Stiles complains, opening up his bag and pulling out a Twinkie.

Derek removes it from his hand silently and replaces it with an apple. Stiles scowls at him for a second then bites into it, regardless. Derek sits back and lets the group discuss the merits of dramatic lifesaving feats for winning over the ladies. Scott is convinced it’ll help impress Allison; Isaac thinks Scott’s a loser. Stiles—

Stiles is falling asleep on Derek’s shoulder.

It Was My Fault by ohhitsanna

“There’s a patient,” she chocked on the words. “I need you to take care of him. He’s practically family,” she is crying now, half sobs forcing their way out of her throat and it’s a horrible sound that makes Derek want to step back, but her grip is still strong on his top. “They won’t let me back there with him, because I’m, well,” she scoffs, “Just look at me. You have to take care of him, you’re one of the best nurses here.”

Derek finds himself nodding before he even realizes he’s doing it. He’s not sure if it’s just blatant curiosity making him want to help or the fact that he’s never seen the strong Melissa McCall break down and almost beg Derek to take on a patient. Maybe a little bit of both, he decides. “Do you have his file?” she nods, handing him a thick manila folder with different colored paper sticking out of it everywhere, this patient must see be here a lot. What the hell kind of name is that? He can vaguely make out a ‘z’ somewhere in the name, but it mostly looks like a bunch of random letters.

“Stiles, do not call him anything but Stiles.” Melissa says, as if reading his mind.

Fight Me? by Lady_of_Winterfell

“So, I’m gonna make the assumption that that comment was because you’re not a morning person and I’m your first patient today—”“You’re not.”

“—because it’d be a shame that someone so great to look at is such an ass. Okay, maybe not a shame, but… stereotypical? I dunno, you’re really good looking. Like, model good looking. How’d you get—”

“Stop talking,” Derek interrupted again. “Open your mouth,” he ordered.

Stiles smirked. “That’s contradictory, Derek. See, have to open my mouth to talk—”

“Shut up,” Derek said quickly

Or where Stiles has cystic fibrosis and Derek is a new nurse at the hospital.

Lay a strong enough foundation by Mynuet

Stiles is the single father of a brand-new preemie; Derek is a nurse that works in the neonatal intensive care unit. They fall in love, and then magic happens.

The [Un]Successful Escapades of Sperm Collection by featherflairs

Stiles is a nurse in a fertility clinic.

Derek is getting his sperm tested.

There’s a bit of a misunderstanding.

Bet On It by IDreamOnlyOfYou (lauren3210)

Stiles is an RN and Derek the attending trauma surgeon at Beacon Hills Hospital. They’re constantly arguing, much to the amusement of their colleagues, who ultimately decide to take bets on when the sexual tension will finally explode. The only question is, who will win the jackpot?

Or

5 times one of the guys try to push Derek and Stiles together, and the time they worked it out all on their own.

Thorough Examination by Viet_joker

Stiles accidentally injured his muscles in his back thigh. He said it was fine, but Scott and his father urged him to at least get it checked out at the clinic.

Well, he did get it checked out, but it was more than just his thigh.

[bi-lullaby]

I loved your last rankings so much that I'm sending you another fun (?!) challenge! How would you rate all these male GA characters from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed? :) Alex, Derek, Richard, Mark, Owen, Jackson, Burke, George, Andrew, Linc and Ben? Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers!

Ohhh boy you give me life with those asks! Here we go:

1 - As no surprise to anyone: Alex. My baby had the best character development I’ve ever seen, really, brcaus ewhile it was huge, it was also paced and believable and stabilished and non-linear. He was a huge asshole with a concealed heart of gold in season one. In season 15, he’s a golden boy with a concealed asshole side, and the growth/diminishment of those sides weren’t always inversely proportionate, but adjusted to what each characteristic was brought out more by his surroundings/worked more on by himself. Also, he’s the person that has stuck with mer for the longest and through the most, which would put him in a high place in this list even if he wasn’t my favorite on his own. I also adore how, thematically, he’s so moved by the women in his life (bot just the romantic i terests while we are at it) for the betterment of himself and hsi ways. It’s not like Owen’s “I’ll need her to take care of me emptionally and shape herself to my desires so I can be in a good place, it’s recognizing those positive influences in his life and trying to emulate them/work with them/learn from them. Also about his theme, itms less the worn-out “guy is validated in being an asshole bc he had a tough life” and more “guy learns that his tough life doesn’t mean he gotta act like an asshole”. I love this character so much, ugh.

2 - Ben. A freaking Disney prince would be a sleeazy douche in comparison. I was so weirded out when Shobda decided to give so much focus to this random-ass character, then I was really turned off by his storyline with the cutting people open and all that (not necessarily because I thought he was wrong, I just felt the storyline was handled awkwardly and made him sound pelutant and irresponsible instead of a promissing, if stubborn, future surgeon. I’ve yet to watch Station 19, but this angel with a scalpel and a fire hose for wings deserves his own goddamn spin-off, for sure.

3 - My baby Andrew. Yeah, he is not that developed, has been inconsistent, his change from “freaking out over Maggie being his boss” to “marvellung at Meredith’s every movie even though she’s kinda even more his boss because she owns the hospital” was... A B R U P T. But I really enjoy this new Andrew - as a side note: I could not care less for him during the whole Sam storyline, he seemed like a toned down Jonhy Bravo - He’s smart and sweet and funny and worships Mer like the Wonder Woman she is. His relationships with Arizona, Amelia, Jo, Carina and now Alex need more screentime because they’re great (or have the potential to be so). He’s competent and brilliant and selfless (dropping the charges on Alex even if he was completely in the right, taking the blame for mer now) and so tender (his absolute gentleness in peds, taking care of Amy after the operation, being a moody, emotive boy because he lost his love instead of a macho men...). The future holds great things for him, and I’m excited to watch them unfold!

4 - Not on your list but I love: Tom. Boy is he nice. As I was figuring out this order, I realized he reminds me a lot of my favorite character (Dean Winchester) - or at least what I think Dean would be if he was older, richer and lived without the Supernatural World and so many traumas. His talk to April was so moving and I felt it really helped. He doesn’t stand on a moral high horse: He does what he thinks is right and damned be judgment. He’s empathetic, he’s romantic, he treats Teddy RIGHT. He deserves to have his own storyline and be more developed and show us kore of his awesomeness.

5 - Jackson. As I said in my ships rating answer, I’ve only started to care for him recently, but I really do care. He’s not a character I’d, like, write fic about, or long rants and meta, but I love his sibling-esque relationship with Mer and his relationship with Maggie and the way he connects with his mom and how this spoiled, immature transfer with something to prove became a respected, innovative surgeon and father who’s secure of himself and ready to explore different paths and ways and worldviews. I just wish him, and the Grey’s fandom, would be less defensive about the callout of his privileged life. Like. I’ve seen people write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how Maggie was a bitch for calling him privileged. And he is (for his hoards upon hoards of money growing up). That’s not too hard a concept to grasp. Plus, it’d be nice if he could treat Maggie as less of a consolation prize/second chance. Just because faith (or lack thereof) was a source of tension in his previous marriage, and he feels like changing that would have made everything better, doesn’t mean the same applies to his current relationship, or that Maggie is the one who should change -he learned, learned, and is back in square one seeing only his side of it - I really hope this season treats him more kindly and gives him happiness and peace!

6 - Richard. I love him for his parental-and-ish relationships, specially to Maggie, Mer and Jackson, but to Bailey and Callie too. That’s my favorite aspect of him, watching those gives me a nice, warm feeling in my tummy and puts a smile on my face. There’s some aspects of him I find either boring or unpleasant, and I think it’s kinda annoying how him retiring has been a theme/conflict since, like, season one, and fast-foward ten years and he’s basically an entity at the hospital. Like? What? Was the point? You’ve waisted my time? For nothing? But he’s a solid, reliable character you can’t really hate and who brings more good than bad to the show by far. As a side note: one day I will yell at him for his treatment of Maggie after she talked about HER OWN HISTORY and he basically called her a mistake (although he apologized pretty soon and she forgave him so so will I).

7 - Mark. He was great and all that, but never sparked that love some characters did. I was sad when he died, I loved his scenes and relationships, I just am not invested in him. Plus the immaturity in his relationship with Lexie pisses me off a bit, as does his “man whore” personality.

8 - Link. Genuinely love him, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind and fun and helpful this entire time! I cheered for Merlink sooooo much imat first, and I really wish their friendship will be developed! Him and Jo are everything I never knew I needed. He has no arguable flaws besides being so sculped it freaks me out a little bit, but he isn’t higher up in my rank because there isn’t much material for that yet, but expect a climb as he becomes more and more regular.

9 - Burke. He was kinda sweet and did a good thing for Cristina (the hospital). He was also manipulative and arrogant and voundary-crossing in their relationship. I might like him better if it was bot for Burktina, but we will never know.

10 - Owen. Toxic as fuck, annoying, controlling, disgusting. Those are all things that very much apply to Owen in a lot of situations. Screaming at Cristina for “murdering their baby”? YIKES. Big no no. He was not suited for romantic relationships at all and I wish the show would realize that and allow him that space and breathing time without being stuck in a complicated relationship with loads of baggage or a love triangle. Because that’s my whole thing about him: I believe he has room for growth. His relationship with April is pretty amazing, he was always so considerate and gentle with her, all the time, and I want to see more of that bond. He loves kids and can be really good with them, he has a lot of things to work out with the traumas of his father’s death + war + his sister’s story. Why not focus on that? Why not show him growing and processing and bettering himself and living up to the potential he has? I feel like they gave the all the wrong romantic storylines to the character who’s otherwise really good and that’s such a shame because I really enjoyed him at first. Lets see what happens from now on, and if he gets a dose of tv’s “heterosexual love and a nuclear biological family solve everything!” medicine or if this is a turning point for him.

11 - Derek. He never really had any appeal to me. Not his face, not his personality, not his storylines or plot points pr the actor. That’s reason enough for him to rank low, but I also think he had some really bad traits. He was arrogant and condescending and had a God complex and was sexist and pushy and just not great for the people around him. Exploiting Amy’s addiction being outed to steal surgeries? Refusing to give Mer credit on their clinic trial? Putting ultimatums on his girlfriend that she either has to be ready for a full, committed relationship or end things, then call her a slut when she sleeps with other guys after they broke up? Cheating on Addison after deciding to work things out? Stringing mer and addie along? Not saying he was married in the first place? Pushing Mer’s boundaries after she was clearly uncomfortable with having slept with her boss? Refusing to have an inch of empathy for Mer’s action regarding the trial despite her complicated history with the people she was trying to help (who were her friends, actually?)? Telling his depressed girlfriend that she should be concerned the happiest part of his day was flirting with another girl from the bar? Ratting out on Richard to the board because he wanted the spot? Not acknowledging Mer’s trauma after the shooting? Kissing nurse Rose while building the dream house? Kissing his student while being married in NY? Pushing his wife to move and saying his career was more important than his after he had compromised on letting her shine? All things that, isolated, can even be understood on context and “everyone makes mistakes”, but that when put together, make it pretty clear it’s a pattern of someone with very little regard to the people around him. Was he a good surgeon? Yeah. Great father as well. He also had some interesting relationships and iconic scenes, truly, I can recognize that. I hurt for the people he loved and left behind (and I genuinely think he loved them and meant well), but he himself I don’t miss at all.

12 - I think George is the clearest contrast between how old greys handled matters of sexism and gender and sexuality and how it does now. He was such a sleazy nice guy at times, it is unbearable to me. And he ranks lower than Derek because A) His relationships also bored me while Derek’s could pique my interest at times, B) There’s no talk about his mistakes. Remember when he (in his own words) took advantage of Meredith being on a terrible, delicate, vulnerable place (still hiding her mother’s Alzheimer’s and seeing a person be blown to pieces and being dumped by who she thought was the one and being rejected by her father for the second time after seeing him for the first time in tweenty years) and, knowing that she was not interested in him, pursued her, then after she started crying because of the literal pile of shit she was having to carry around (and still trying to preserve his feelings), got mad at her and everyone sided with him? It baffled younger me to bits that what Mer had “done” was so terrible, it has not stoped bafflinn me in the years that have passed since. Can you imagine any of the girls crying during sex because they’re so overwhelmed and feel like that’s a mistake, and the guy freaks out on them and they’re instantly ostracized by the narrative and characters? That’s essentially criticizing her for the right of saying no, of stopping when she doesn’t want to continue, of not giving away her time and feels just because a goofy guy who is her friend feels entitled to them. That’s the word: entitled. He literally says he “saw her first”. How’s that not Nice Guy 101? I would understand his ego being bruised, but the guilt tripping and the bitching and the fact none of that is treated as a fucking creepy thing? Yikes. Also how he treated Callie, who deserved so, so much better. And even Olivia who was perfectly lovely and did nothing wrong besides having sex with more than one guy without breaking either of their trusts because she wasn’t in a relationship with any of them. Did he do some good things? Sure did! Joey’s surgery costs being cut, helping Bailey give birth, some of his interactions with patients were really sweet, and he died giving his life for someone else. It’s just that consequence-less sexism and entitlement that never gets adressed and gets treated as not only valid, but right, that makes him go rom unappealing to downright hated for me. Better left in the past where people can misplacedly idolize him!

Thank you so much for asking, I love those thought-inspiring asks! <3

[calzona-ga]

Amelia Shepherd finally got some closure.

Grey's Anatomy dedicated an entire hour to the Derek-less Shepherd family this week in an episode titled "Good Shepherd," where an impromptu and long overdue New York City reunion between Amelia (Caterina Scorsone), mom Carolyn (Tyne Daly), and sisters Nancy (Embeth Davidtz) and Kathleen (Amy Acker), the latter of whom has often been mentioned but never seen, drudged up Amelia's past inhibitions and personal battles during an explosive conversation around the dinner table. (The fourth Shepherd sister, Liz, portrayed by Neve Campbell in season nine, was "out of town.")

Ever since her Private Practice days, Amelia has been the definition of tumult -- with her share of failed romances (her recent divorce from Owen), battles with substance and alcohol abuse, and health problems (her brain tumor in season 14) keeping everyone on their toes. And as the youngest Shepherd sibling, she was often seen as the baby of the family, with her late brother, Derek (Patrick Dempsey), taking responsibility as her unofficial caretaker following their dad's death when they were kids. Those factors, mixed with Amelia's lack of communication with her family over the years, compounded her sisters' perceptions that she was still the "black sheep" of the family, no matter how successful she became or the strides she took to improve upon herself.

But a deep heart-to-heart between Amelia and her mom in Central Park provided the answers she had been seeking about her error-prone, directionless past. "Do you think I sabotage my relationships? I don't know how to love?" Amelia asked, after coming clean to her family about her divorce from Owen (Kevin McKidd) -- and her mother's response was both heartbreaking and illuminating. "Every time you fell down, you got up and came back stronger... You weren't afraid of it. And that's what made you -- out of all the kids -- the most like your father," Carolyn said, explaining that it was difficult to be around her youngest daughter following Papa Shepherd's death, hence why she handed the reins over to Derek. "You deserved a mother... and it is my biggest regret."

Following the episode, ET spoke with Scorsone for a breakdown of the Amelia-centric hour, reuniting the Shepherd family members (and finally meeting Kathleen!), Amelia's romantic future with Link (and if Owen is still in the picture) and the touching Central Park moment between Amelia and Mama Shepherd.

ET: When did you know that you were going to get a standalone hour dedicated to Amelia's story? Caterina Scorsone: One of the nice things of having an Amelia-centric episode was a lot of stuff that was developed when Amelia was a regular character on Private Practice. There was a lot of backstory that we learned about her on Private Practice that some Grey's fans haven't seen. Getting to go back and encounter her family of origin, as opposed to the family that she's built in Seattle, is great. You kind of get to see a little bit of where she came from and where she fits into her family dynamic.

You've been playing this character for almost a decade now, and I feel like the theme of this episode is a lot about Amelia confronting her past and her place in the family -- that many of them still look at her as the "black sheep." You really see Amelia work through this with her sisters and her mother, especially. Right, although she's encountering the behavior that triggered a lot of her childhood stuff to come up. I think one of the things that's beautiful about it is I think it's a really relatable, universal story -- maybe it's a bit more extreme in Amelia's case. Often we grow up and we encounter new ideas and we have new experiences and we change and evolve into a different person [than] when we were a child or when we were surrounded by our childhood dynamics. But I think there's a part of most people that doesn't notice the change happening, so when they go back to see their family at holiday times, they have an opportunity to excavate some of the dynamics that formed who they became and some of the dynamics that led to them wanting to change that dynamic. It's a beautiful opportunity to see somebody working through therapy. She's like, "Wow, I think I'm a different person but these are the conditions that formed the person that I became."

One of the most beautiful moments was Amelia's conversation with her mom, Carolyn, in Central Park, where they hash out their nonexistent mother-daughter relationship... Ugh! Tyne Daly is unbelievable. I'm so grateful that I got to work with her. That was the part of doing the standalone that made me most excited and nervous. I couldn't believe that I was going to have an opportunity to work opposite Tyne Daly. (Laughs.) Because I've been playing Amelia for so long and I've known Tyne played my mom -- I've seen all of the footage of her with Derek [in the season five episode, "Sympathy for the Devil"] -- and she was a big part of my backstory even when I was playing scenes without Tyne. Whenever I would do scenes about her, I would picture Tyne as my mom as Amelia -- whenever I had to remember something or telling a story. She was an active part of my creative life. So when Tyne walked into the lobby of the hospital where we did our first scene and I saw her, I burst into tears! (Laughs.)

When Carolyn conceded that she wasn't there for Amelia when she needed her in her formative years, that was truly heartbreaking. Have you thought about how differently things could have turned out for Amelia had her mom taken the reins more as a parental figure? Absolutely. In that moment, Amelia's mom [stepped] up as a mother and took care of Amelia's inner child and said, "Listen, you weren't given what you needed at the time when you were forming your ability to attach. I was not there." There was an absence. In terms of psychology and attachment theory, Amelia went through some incredible trauma at a formative time -- she was 5 years old and she was sitting in that store and she witnessed her father murdered in front of her. After that, her mom -- from what she says in this episode and from what I established in my backstory on Private Practice -- her mom, because of her grief, wasn't able to mirror Amelia and be present for Amelia in the ways that would have helped her process that trauma. That trauma was guided in her body and in her amygdala [nerve tissue in the brain responsible for emotions, survival instincts and memory] and created this fight or flight response that wasn't cured. I think that she probably had a viron that was predisposed to addiction, but I absolutely think that the body attachment and the trauma that she witnessed at such a formative age was a big part of the road that her life ended up going down for a long time.

It's Amelia's strength that, despite all that trauma and broken attachment, she was able to overcome and go to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and create relationships and go to med school and start getting back to medicine and have friendships. Her mom was big enough to admit her part in that piece and still be available as a mother. It's a powerful story. Nobody does things perfectly, but when you're able to look at them and talk about them, and forgive them and yourself and others, that's a pretty good job that you're doing there.

We've met the other Shepherd sisters, Nancy and Lizzie, before, but it's pretty stunning that it took until season 15 for Kathleen to finally be introduced. What did it mean to be able to have a full picture of the Shepherd family with Amy Acker now in the mix? Amy Acker is such an incredible actress. She's so talented, she's so funny and as a person, she's so kind and lovely. I had a blast working with her. I hope that she comes back and plays with us more. Working with her and Tyne and Embeth was incredible, and I'm so happy to have a complete picture in my creative, imaginative mind about Amelia's family. We're also so lucky to work with Chris -- he's so great in the episode and so funny. It was just a wonderful time. And Bill D'Elia, who was the director, and Julie Wong, who was the writer; I just feel super lucky to have this experience.

You haven't shared a scene yet with Neve Campbell, who plays Lizzie.I know! She has to come back! (Laughs.)

Shifting gears, Amelia and Link's blossoming relationship has been a pleasant surprise. Did you see them coming as a couple? What is their long-term future? I didn't see it coming. It kind of a twist that Krista [Vernoff] came to me about, she was like, "We want to try this. You're going to go back to New York and he's going to be there." Chris Carmack is a super talented guy and so it's been fun to play with him. The chemistry is really good and there's been a lot of fun, comedic beats that we've been able to play, which has been a really refreshing turn for Amelia. A lot of what she's been going through were fun at times, but there was a lot of heaviness with the Betty storyline. This has been a little bit of a reprieve from that. In terms of long-term, I honestly don't know. We're doing some fun stuff, but I also think that "Omelia" is such a beautiful and rich relationship; Kevin [McKidd] and I love working together too. We're just trying to stay as present and open and as available for what flows through [the writers'] pens. Both relationships are really interesting and fun to play for me, so I'm trying to be in acceptance of whatever lands at my desk in the next script.

Amelia and Owen have been back and forth over the years; they're currently divorced, co-parenting baby Leo and at the same time, Owen is expecting a child with Teddy. Should we be closing the door on Amelia and Owen? What do you think their relationship status should be when it all comes down to it? I would never say they're over for good. They do have so much history and they've shared so much pain and they both have their wounds and they've witnessed each through those. At this point, it's extremely complicated and they've reached a bit of an impasse at this point in their lives. At least where it stands right now, they're taking a step back and taking a breath and trying to figure it out. They can't keep ramming their heads into this wall right now, but they're just so beautiful together and their bond is so deep that I think it would be impossible for them to being nothing. They're going to either be incredibly cordial to each other or one day, they'll find each other again. I don't know. But what I can tell you is, as actors, Kevin and I adore each other and we love working together, so [maybe the writers] decide they are buddies, co-parenting babies in this new, structured way. Or could they end up re-finding each other and end up living happily ever after?

[allthingsteenwolf20]

You're all I need (Pack Mom) - Part One

A/N: Inspired by @i-write-about-anything's "Comfort", I decided to write one too with a pack mom twist. Stay tuned for part 2!

Things hadn't been easy for Isaac lately. First, he was suffering from the trauma of his abusive father which resulted in him having nightmares, getting no sleep and developing severe anxiety if he was to be crammed in small dark places, then he was bitten by none other than Derek Hale who had been out on a rampage looking for kids to turn into betas to create his own pack much to his mate, Y/N's dismay when she had found out and now he had recently learnt that the newest supernatural creature; the kanima that was lurking in Beacon Hills had killed his father in a dark alleyway after Mr Lahey had ran after his son for once after they had a brief argument. Isaac had ran off and hid behind a dumpster quietly sobbing to himself when he heard a strange hissing noise. He had quietly peered out from his hiding spot and seen the creature lunge for his dad until his screams could no longer be heard.

For the first few hours, Isaac had been sat in the Sheriff's office down at the station as they let the young boy process what had just happened.  Afterwards, Isaac had got up and ran out of the doors. This was it. He was alone. He was 16 years old, still a minor which meant they'd make him stay in a foster home until he was 18. Isaac had enough trouble at school with bullies, he definitely didn't want to add more.

For the next few weeks, Isaac would spend a few nights in a row at several friends houses. Being the closest to Scott, Isaac often crashed at the MCcall house but always feared they'd become too annoyed with him so he'd leave after 3 days even though Scott would reassure him things were fine and he was more than welcome. Even though Isaac liked Stiles as a friend, he had purposely been avoiding him. He knew his dad was the Sheriff of the town and even though he knew he meant well, Isaac didn't want him to dig further into his case.

Next was Lydia Martin. Lydia had helped mentor Isaac in most of his classes when his teachers assigned him a tutor throughout school. Sure at first, she was incredibly snobby but once she had found out that she too was apart of the supernatural world, something changed in her. She came less snobby and more humane. Since then she had always been nice to Isaac generally asking how he was doing, if he needed anything or any help. She had heard rumours around the school about Isaac's abusive father. At first, she had brushed it off knowing people were trying to make the poor boy's life even harder but she suddenly found that it was true when Isaac had come to school the next day in bruises and a broken arm. Isaac had found that Lydia was a good listener and incredibly dotting. Some nights when he'd want to talk about certain things she would always listen regardless of how early or late it was and she'd always offer him extra pillows or blankets when he needed it. The gesture was small but Isaac greatly appreciated it having something warm and soft close by.

Lastly was Y/N Hale. Y/N was Derek's mate. He couldn't understand why because they were complete opposites. Derek was always so grumpy and at times quite mean whereas Y/N always had a smile on her face and was incredibly happy, dotting and motherly towards him. After she had found out about Derek's little spree, the couple hadn't spoken for days. Y/N had left to have to some to herself when she realised that Derek had lied to her. After 4 days, she had come back to the loft and explained to him that the beta's were now their responsibility and they would look after them. Derek agreed taking care of handling their supernatural abilities whereas Y/N focused on making sure they went to school, completed their homework, made their favourite food and were their shoulder to cry on.

It was just after 2:30am. The sky was starting to brighten up and Isaac stood outside of the Hale loft shivering because of the cold. It has been days since he'd got a good night's sleep or a decent meal. He knocked on the door of the loft and waited for a few seconds. There was no answer. He sighed debating whether or not he should knock again or keep on trekking. Suddenly the light in the hallway flicked on and the door slid open. Y/N was stood in her pjs and robe as she looked at the broken boy before her.

"Isaac? Honey, what're you doing out here so early especially in the cold? Come in, come in sweetie." She replied moving aside letting the boy in as she closed the door and locked it behind her. Isaac took a deep breath and let out a sign of relief as he felt the warmth surround him.

"Honey, what happened? Where have you been?" Y/N asked him. She led him inside to the living room, put on the lamp, let him sit down as she covered his shoulders with the soft blanket seeing that he was shivering and sat next to him gently wrapping her arm around him and gently rubbing his forearm to help warm him up.

"Sweetheart, you're going to have to talk to me. I can't help you, if you don't talk to me." She told him making sure the blanket wrapped around him properly. Isaac sighed and rest his head against her shoulder. Y/N hadn't had any affection from Isaac since Derek had turned him. He would find it uncomfortable, he had just about accepted the sweet pet names she called him but she could see there was something that was bothering him.

When she'd asked Derek, he had admitted that Isaac had a troubled and traumatising past which caused him great sadness and anxiety. Derek had told her not to ask him since it could anger him and trigger his shift. Y/N saw how vulnerable Isaac was right now. She gently lifted her arm and wrapped his around him so he could rest his head comfortably against her chest.

Y/N took a deep breath before speaking.

"Derek told me that you had a troubled and traumatising past. Do you want to talk about it, sweetie?" Y/N began as she gently played with his golden curls seeing how the simple guesture relaxed him.

"Talk to me, baby" She urged him softly. It wasn't long when small sobs could be heard from her chest. She looked down at Isaac's face and saw tears running down his cheek.

"It's m-my dad. H-he used to hit me. H-he'd hit me with his belt, three dishes at me and lock me in the f-f-freezer. It was cold and dark and i-i was so si scared!"  He choked out.

"Oh baby." She cooed as she went to wipe away his tears and pressed a soft loving kiss to his forehead. Her hearr broke seeing him like this. She wrapped an arm around him gently rubbing his back as she held him close with the other and rocked him.

"i-i know the kanima killed him and I-I should be glad because of w-what he did but now I don't have anyone. I'm-I'm all alone and my stupid nightmares they-they just won't go away." He sobbed harder.

"Sssshhh, it's all over now. I've got you." She cooed.

"You're not alone. I won't let that happen. You're going to stay here with me and I'm going to take care of you. You can have one of the spare rooms and this house will be your home, understand?" Y/N told him wiping away his tears as she pressed a kiss to his forehead. Isaac looked up at her face to see if what she said  was genuine.

"I'm so sorry that that happened to you but I can promise you that no one will ever hurt you away." She reassured him.

"Come with me, honey." Y/N got up and held her hand out to Isaac. At first the young broken beta whined at his comfort being taken away but he soon came around and eventually took her hand as he followed her to her bedroom.

"I know, sweetie but come with me." She cooed helping Isaac up and turning off the lamp in the living room as she lead him upstairs to her bedroom. He walked in as Y/N shut the door behind him. Isaac stared awkwardly at the bed as he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor.

"Isaac, come here honey." She cooed softly. She instructed him to get into bed and make himself comfortable. Isaac kicked off his slightly tattered sneakers and climbed in breathing a sigh of relief. When Y/N saw that he was comfortable, she climbed beside him and took him into her arms as he rest his head against her chest.

"Everything will ok, baby." She reassured him and pressed a kiss to his forehead as she gently played with his golden curls to help him relax. It wasn't long until soft snores could be heard. Y/N gently stroked Isaac's cheek and pressed a loving kiss to his forehead and then settled down to sleep.

~ a few hours later ~

Y/N woke up to Isaac tossing and turning in her arms.

"Sssh sssh sssh it's ok." She whispered stroking his curls and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Nooo, please dad not the freezer!" Isaac began to grumble in his sleep thrashing his arms.

"No, no no! Dad I'm sorry, please no!" Isaac continued to call out in his sleep.

"Isaac, Isaac wake up honey." Y/N called to him slowly sitting up as she shook Isaac trying to wake him. Isaac's screams began to get louder and louder. Sweat began to drip down his forehead as he continued to thrash under the covers. Y/N put on the lamp in the bedroom and rushed to Isaac's side to wake him when she saw he was crying in his sleep.

"Isaac. Isaac, wake up. It's ok, you're ok. Isaac wake up!" Y/N yelled shaking him awake. Isaac's eyes flew open and he froze trying to take in his surroundings.

"Hey hey, sssh it's ok. You're ok. It's me, you're safe with me." She cooed taking his face into her hands and gently wiping away his tears.

"You're ok, you're ok. I'm here, I'm right here honey." Y/N cooed. Isaac looked up at her and threw himself into her arms holding onto her tight as he sobbed into her chest not wanting to let go. She laid in bed and held him in her arms as he cried. She pressed kisses to his forehead every so often to comfort him.

"I-i can't. I can't do this." Isaac sobbed.

"Sssh, of course you can honey. You're so much stronger than you think. You're not alone. I'll always be here with you ok? I'm not leaving you. You're staying here with us." She reassured him.

"Wh-what about Derek?" Isaac asked.

"Don't worry about Derek, I'll take care of everything. I'll talk to the sheriff and tell him you're staying with us." Y/N told him wiping away his tears. She grabbed a tissue from thr box on the bedside table and wiped the sweat off of his forehead.

"No one will hurt you ever again, I promise." She reassured him pressing a kiss to his cheek. Isaac nodded at her words.

"Try and go back to sleep, honey. You need it. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." She told him gently stroking his cheek.

That night Y/N stayed awake watching over Isaac as he slept almost soundlessly in her arms holding on to her tight.

[drreporting]

Moving Again

Someone asked for a conclusion to the brawl between Derek and Owen over dating Amelia, so here it is. Set two months after Big Brother Pt.2

24th November 2014.

It had been two months since they’d broken things off, well since he’d unintentionally run her off. Normally, two months would’ve been more than enough for someone to get over a person they only dated for a month and a half, but for some reason he couldn’t get her out of his mind. He felt deeply in his heart that they had unfinished business, but their communication was nowhere near resolving that. They only spoke to each other when it was necessary, and Owen was afraid to pursue Amelia and get turned down. Not knowing if she still had feelings for him was easier to deal with than knowing she felt nothing; it gave him hope.

“Mr. Owen?!” Owen heard a small child squeal. Turning away from the elevator and in the direction of where he heard the voice, Owen was surprised to see Ryan by the front desk, holding Amelia’s hand and clearly wanting to let go to run over to the trauma surgeon and say hello. He hadn’t seen Ryan in months.

“Ryan?!” Owen replied with the same childlike enthusiasm, making the boy even more excited. It was then that Amelia turned around and looked at him, clearly not conveying the same level of excitement.

“Can I go say hi?” Ryan asked, looking up at his mother, milking her with his sad, puppy dog gaze.

Amelia sighed, letting go of his hand and putting on a fake smile. “Go ahead.” The second she let go of his hand, Ryan went head first into Owen, jumping into his arms and letting the surgeon lift him up into the air.

“How are you?” Owen asked as he bore most of Ryan’s weight on his hip.

“Mommy and I are moving into a big house tomorrow,” the boy explained, opening his hands wide to describe the size of the house, “It has three beds and two potties and a pool!”

“That sounds a lot bigger than my trailer.”

“It is, silly,” Ryan giggled, wrapping his arms around Owen’s neck and hugging him. He’d missed Owen so, so much. Amelia watched as her son burrowed his face in the neck of the man he’d become estranged with over the past couple months, feeling a little guilty. “You should come help us move boxes!” Ryan suddenly suggested. He looked over at Amelia. “Can he, mommy?”

“I don’t know, Ry,” Amelia murmured, unsure of how to let the boy down easy, “Owen must be very busy tomorrow.”

“Actually, I’m free tomorrow,” Owen shrugged, smiling, “I don’t mind, once you’re okay with it.”

Amelia’s eyes darted between the two smiling boys, unable to say no. “Fine. Tomorrow at 3.”

“Yay!” Ryan celebrated, lifting up his hand to high five Owen.

---

“Owen, hi,” Maggie chirped when she opened Meredith’s front door, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to help move some stuff for Amelia,” he replied.

“Well, come on in,” she insisted, pulling him inside before he could protest, “Sit and I’ll tell her you’re here.” Not having much of a choice anymore, Owen sat down on the couch in the living room, faintly hearing the sound of two people quarrelling.

“You should’ve hired somebody,” he heard Meredith say.

“I don’t need any help to move my own stuff,” the other voice countered.

“That’s why I’m helping you, right?”

Meredith and Amelia appeared from down the hall, each sharing the heavy load of one box as they continued their quarrel over why Amelia hadn’t hired someone to move her stuff for her. His heart began racing as he glanced at her, the room suddenly becoming ten times hotter. Once Owen’s presence had been recognised however, Meredith sighed in relief.

“Oh great, Owen,” she said as they lowered the box to the floor of the living room, “You can help Amelia carry her stuff out of my house.”

“That’s okay,” Amelia assured him, “Ryan’s spending the day with Derek and that’s less things breaking for me to worry about.”

“Well, if you’re sure you don’t need the help…” Owen muttered.

Meredith looked between the two and huffed angrily. “Listen, whatever it is going on here, you two better get over it because I’m not helping you with any more of these boxes.” She grabbed Maggie to take her too, in case Amelia wanted to take advantage of her and make the poor cardio surgeon carry boxes. “Grow up.” And with that, she left the room, leaving Owen and Amelia alone.

Sighing softly to herself, Amelia grumbled, “Could you take this box?” Owen smirked and nodded. Funny how he was here again, helping her move out of a house to another one.

Twelve boxes later, they were on their way to Amelia’s new house, the silence in the car deafening.

Desperate to talk to her, and kill the silence, Owen commented, “This is a nice neighbourhood.”

“Yeah,” she responded, her one word reply making it clear she didn’t want to talk to him. Regardless, he still tried.

“Amelia, I’m-“

“Whatever you’re about to say, keep it to yourself please, Owen,” she said, cutting him off. His cheeks turned red in shame. Following her orders, he remained silent for the rest of the ride. He didn’t even bother to comment on how nice her house was, or how creative it was that there was a large pond in her backyard.

He stayed quiet for the trips they made from his truck to the house, carrying boxes. He said nothing as he helped her unpack some of the heavier boxes. He said nothing at all, up until he opened one of her boxes and saw one of his old shirts in it. He took the shirt, running his hands along the fabric. He didn’t remember giving her this.

“What are you doing?” Amelia asked, making him jump. He turned around, shirt still in hand, and they both froze, no one saying anything for almost thirty seconds.

Hesitantly, he walked closer to her. “Why do you have my shirt?”

Her cheeks turned red at the question and his close proximity. “You never asked for it.”

“I didn’t know you had it,” he responded. He looked at her, relieved to see that she was finally looking back at him.

“It’s a nice shirt,” she mumbled, “Soft.”

“So you’ve worn it?”

She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Instead, she handed him the box in her hand and went for more of her stuff that had been piled in his truck. “You can have the shirt back if you want.” And with that, she was gone, momentarily making him feel like she still cared, and now having him feel like she didn’t care at all.

“Amelia,” he called after her, “Wait.” He followed her outside and then from his truck back inside. Once she put down the box, he blocked her pathway, determined to solve their silly issue.

“What, Owen?” she exclaimed, frustrated with his persistence, but mostly his intoxicating and confusing presence.

“What are we even fighting about anymore?” he asked, “What is holding us back?”

“You said you didn’t want to be in a relationship right now,” she recalled, “And I’m not going to be your rebound sex for Cristina.”

“I said that because of Derek!” he justified, “He was being an ass and I didn’t want the hospital to be talking about you and, evidently, Cristina.”

“Who cares about Derek?” she asked, “He doesn’t decide who sees who in that hospital. And I can handle gossip, Owen. It’s you ignoring me I can’t handle.”

“I’ve been ignoring you?” he inquired, pointing his index finger at himself, “You’ve been ignoring me!”

“Because you were ignoring me!” There was silence after his last statement, neither knowing what to say. All of this could’ve been avoided had they spoken to each other sooner, and they both knew it.

Owen sighed, his frustration turning into a grin. “We are terrible at communicating.”

Amelia looked at him and smiled. “Yeah.”

“So, now what?” he asked, hoping for an “I’m secretly in love with you, let’s get back together and have five babies.”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, fiddling with the edge of her shirt, “I guess this means we’re friends again.”

“Just friends?” he wondered. Amelia walked over to where he was standing, taking the shirt from his hands and looking at it. All she could think about was the countless time she’d fallen asleep in the shirt, the amount of times she’d thought about Owen, about how they used to be, how he could always make her laugh. The amount of times she’d been intimate with him, it was hard to just push those feelings down and hope they’d go away. Her stomach churned with the memories; they weren’t friends at all.

“Amelia?” he called again, wondering what was going on in her mind. She looked up and at him, a look of realisation on her face. “Is everything alright?” he asked. She dropped the shirt back in the box and moved even closer to him, if that was possible.

“We’re probably not friends,” she said to him. His face fell but, before he could truly convey his disappointment, Amelia had grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled his face down to hers, finally kissing him. So that’s what she meant.

She quickly pulled away, making him confused. “What?” he asked.

“Promise me we’ll take things slow this time,” she said.

“I promise,” he laughed.

---

“I should’ve gone furniture shopping first,” Amelia mused as she and Owen lay on the bare floor, using some comforters from one of her boxes to create a makeshift bed.

“Probably,” he agreed, wrapping his arm around her neck and pulling her closer to him, placing a kiss on her forehead. They laid there in silence for what seemed like forever, both lost in their own thoughts.

“Why three bedrooms?” he inquired.

Amelia shrugged. “For more kids, I guess. If it ever happened.”

“Is this you secretly asking me for children?” he teased, “What happened to taking things slow?”

“Shut up,” she giggled, snuggling closer to him, “I’m just keeping my options open, that’s all.”

“It’s always good to do so,” he agreed, unable to help himself at thinking of a future life with her and two or three kids. They’d make an interesting family, one Ryan probably wouldn’t be too eager to share his mom with. “Wait, where’s Ryan?” Just then, the doorbell rang.

Within a minute, Owen and Amelia had redressed and answered the door, surprised to find Derek and a sleeping Ryan on the other side.

“He insisted on coming to help you guys,” Derek explained, handing the boy over to Amelia, “But he fell asleep on the way over here.”

“Thank you,” Amelia told him before taking Ryan inside to set him up somewhere he could sleep for a little longer, leaving Owen alone with her brother.

“Hunt,” Derek greeted bitterly, already putting two and two together. Despite still having harboured feelings against the trauma surgeon, he stuck his hand out and shook Owen’s. “Have a good night.”

Owen smirked, returning the handshake. “She’s safe with me, Derek.”

“She better be,” he sighed stressfully, turning to leave. There was nothing Derek could do anymore; if Amelia liked him then he couldn’t stop their relationship from happening. Didn’t mean he wasn’t unbelievably bitter about it.

[sweet-but-vicious]

Trauma

I figured I'd just put it there at the top. Here be my ramblings about my precious ones, Dean and Derek. So my issue with SPN and TW writers/creators/TPTB is that they do not allow male characters to be traumatized. This is not a good thing! If you write a character with a traumatic back story that person is going to have some serious issues and probably, some PTSD, definitely some triggers and they are going to deal with situations very differently than someone who did not have the same issues. This does not make a male character weak. Let me say that shit again... THIS DOES NOT MAKE A MALE CHARACTER WEAK! Nor does it make them "less of a man" the strength of character needed to carry on when your world has crumbled around you and you blame yourself is incredible. This is one of the reasons that we love our precious babies so much! We want to cuddle them and give them nice things because they deserve it and in a way it allows us who are with them to acknowledge that we deserve nice things too. We see ourselves in those characters and we need to see them actually deal with their shit! We have enough people saying that we should just "get over" our trauma, portraying that same idea in the media is not helpful. Particularly for men! Males already under report abuse and here is tv with these incredibly beaten down men who just stuff it down and don't talk about it and act like nothing is wrong. That is not a good example to set, at least on SPN it is acknowledged that this is the case somewhat, TW is the glossiest of gloss overs I have ever seen. We gravitate towards these characters and live with them for a time and they deserve more respect than that. Long story short, no one will ever convince me that Dean did not sell himself to take care of Sam, which essentially, even if he wasn't actually there he caused the situation, was John pimping him out to probably creepy truckers and the like. And one will ever convince me that Derek was not raped by both Kate and Jennifer and judging by his reaction to Jennifer, probably others that we never saw. After what happened to Derek it would not be unreasonable for him to never have sex again, but there he is jumping in to things with no real pause behind it and getting screwed over again. Dean went the route of all the sex, all the time and that isn't wrong or uncommon but it needs to be dealt with. Either way, these are not the only options and male abuse victims need to see that in media! The only option is not to just muddle through, you can talk about it, you can deal with it, you can get help. We love you and we are out here waiting to help.

[10thingsihateaboutyourfic]

Sterek Fic Recs

The Accidental Hale Brood by Julibean19 [Sterek, M, 42k] Kidfic, adoption, fake/pretend relationship, fluff, cuteness, police officers

Author’s summary: Stiles and Derek have been BCPD partners for years when they are assigned Halloween duty and run into a couple of kids from the orphanage. One fake marriage and two real adoptions later, they somehow become a family.

This is lovely. Fake relationship is one of my favorite tropes, and I love kidfic with well written, realistic kids. This is long enough to be satisfying too, with lots of characterisation and context. A good read.

Lunches, Knitting and Definitely Not Dating by Noxlunate [Sterek, T, 10k] Mpreg, aboverse, past Stiles/OMC, acquaintances to lovers, deputy Derek

Author’s summary: Just a weird mpreg fic with Derek and Stiles totally kinda dating without realizing it, and Stiles figuring out this whole having a baby thing.

It’s not weird, the author’s being way too harsh on themself. I love a good mpreg fic. There’s not enough mpreg in my opinion. I could read mpreg fic all day every day and still want more. So I enjoyed this very much. It’s got great characterisation, especially for Stiles being terribly practical about it from the moment he finds out he’s pregnant, and yet oblivious about how he and Derek find each other without quite realising. Cute.

When You’re Gone by illusemywords [Sterek, T, 27k] Mystery, unreliable narrator, illness, memory loss due to trauma, angst, character death (the Hale fire)

Author’s summary: Stiles Stilinski suffers memory loss and terrible headaches after an accident he had the summer he was fifteen. He doesn't remember what happened that summer or why the Hales left town, and no one seems to want to talk about it. Now he's just turned seventeen and he decides that if he ever wants to know what happened to him that summer he'll have to figure it out himself. Eventually, memories start coming back to him, and he starts piecing them together.

I love fic that’s a bit different, and this is definitely different. It’s got a very unusual narrative structure, but it’s perfect for the fic, which has a creepy, unsettled vibe, due to the nature of the story its telling. It’s angsty and sad and beautiful. I really liked it.

Scowls and Sarcasm by dr_girlfriend [Sterek, T, 26k] Pride and Prejudice Au

Author’s summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single alpha in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a mate.

This is a Pride and Prejudice AU. A good one. I don’t know what more information you could possibly need. It veers off radically towards the end for the sake of drama, which I’m not completely convinced was necessary if I’m being brutally honest, because P&P is epic and perfect just as it is, but Peter Hale as Lady Catherine De Bourgh honestly makes up for anything. Heh.

Married at First Glance by Wonderwolf [Sterek, E, 63k] Reality TV AU, fake/pretend relationship, one-sided Paige/Derek

Author’s summary: Married at First Glance gives its participants seven weeks. Seven weeks, starting when they meet and marry their “perfect match”, to decide if they want to stay married or divorce. For Stiles and Derek though, the challenge lies within trying to pretend that they don’t absolutely hate each other’s guts. When you’re married to a werewolf who dislikes humans, however, this can get a little tricky. But the sweet, sweet cash reward at the end will be worth it. Right?

I’ve never watched these reality shows, they’re not my thing tbh, but they’re undeniably and awesome premise for a fic, and this one really does the concept justice by putting meat on the bones and taking enough time over it to make it feel like a proper story, not just a precursor to Sterek getting together. I followed this as a WIP and read each part as soon as it came in because I was enjoying it so much. Good stuff.

Written Can’t Be Denied by lookslikenico and winglesswarrior [Sterek, T, 55k] Actor Stiles, Photographer Derek, soulmates au, soulmarks, single parent derek

Author’s summary: The story goes that, the first time you meet your ‘soulmate’, the universe will give you a sign in what should be the most obvious way - somewhere in your immediate vicinity the word ‘soulmate’ will appear. ...  A fact that causes havoc the day that up and coming actor, Stiles Stilinski holds up a bottle emblazoned with the word 'soulmate' in the middle of a press conference where Derek Hale is working as a photographer, in the middle of the worst day of his life.

The trend for soulmate/soulmark AUs has cooled off a bit recently, I think, which is fine. It’s just the natural rhythm of fandom, tropes come and go. There have been some really intriguing explorations of the concept, and some that have just used the concept to tell beautiful stories, and this fic falls into the second of those categories. It’s depthful and interesting and well characterised and I was rooting so hard for those crazy kids.

Seat Belts & Gravity by calrissian18 [Sterek, E, 22k] Friends with benefits, mostly canon compliant

Author’s summary: People leave in Beacon Hills, give up on the town, the people, on life itself. And he and Derek are still here, six years later, still able to drink a beer and share space. It’s kind of remarkable in a really understated way.

I love the way this author writes. I love their style, and I love their characterisation. They have an absolute gift for writing Stiles especially in this quirky way that feels more canon than canon, like it’s what Stiles should be if the show wasn’t so hampered and trapped by stupid bullshit like being written by a bunch of apes at typewriters under instructions from network executives who think viewers just want more love triangles. To be honest, if I were you I’d just run straight to AO3 and read everything this author’s ever written, and then find their Tumblr and read the stuff there too. You will not regret it.

Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of by Lissadiane [Sterek, T-ish, 15k] Character death (not Sterek), coffee shop au / college au, ghosts, ghost animals

Author’s summary:  In which Stiles Stilinski sees the ghosts of animals with unfinished business, and Derek Hale is unaware that his dearly departed sister left a few things unfinished.

Fair warning, this made me cry. When I read the summary, I went “phhh that sounds dumb”, but it’s actually beautiful. Just go and read it. But have a box of tissues handy.

The White Hart of Winter by DarkAthena [Sterek, E, 65k] Historic AU, aboverse, mpreg, evil Kate Argent, period typical violence, pre-verbal / animalistic Derek

Author’s summary: Sent to marry the Hale Beast Stiles finds himself alone in a castle left to ruin and watched over by Kate Argent, who he thinks is sleeping with his new husband and seems determined to destroy him.

Oh lord. Where to start. Look, this is not the best written fic in the world, not least (I think) because the author wrote it during NaNoWriMo, so it’s perhaps not been beta read or edited as well as it could’ve been. But it had me absolutely gripped from start to finish. I loved the storyline (it’s historical abo mpreg, I was in heaven), and the historical stuff, you can really tell the author knows what they’re talking about. It’s dark and bloody at times, but Stiles is pretty awesome throughout and Derek as “the Beast” is explained and developed very well. If, like me, you love a bit of abo mpreg and historical high drama, and you can overlook a few typos, this is fantastic stuff.

I’ve Been Everywhere With You by Leslie_Knope [Sterek, E, 61k] College Au, escaping from Beacon Hills, everyone gets therapy, life goes on, friends to lovers

Author’s summary: “Dude, you should totally come with me.” “What? Like on the road trip?" “No, come with me. To Austin. Get out of Beacon Hills.” Derek paused. “What?” he asked again.

This is one of those domestic type fics where there’s no angst or high drama, just people living their lives and finding ways to be happy. I love this author’s style, and this fic is no exception. Lovely, happy, satisfying.

Millstone by eleanor_lavish [Sterek, E, 31k] Sex worker Derek, client to boyfriend stiles, college au

Author’s summary: Derek waits until the door is shut behind him before he turns around. He holds out his hand, plants his ‘if you’re not weird about it, I won’t be’ smile on his face and says, “Nice to meet you, Stiles. I’m Michael. What kind of a good time are you looking for tonight?”

This is a particularly good example of the sex worker trope because it’s not really about Derek being a sex worker, it doesn’t glorify or condemn, it just examines it the same as it examines the other ways Derek responds and reacts to what he’s been through. And it’s told through Derek’s POV, which I liked. Plus Stiles is adorable and supportive in a completely non-pressuring way, which I like to think he would be. Charming.

i have always been the storm by stilinskisparkles [Sterek, E, 25k] Stormchaser Stiles, photographer Derek, break up make up

Author’s summary: that twister au i've been trying to write for three years and finally used a "pining exes" prompt to do so with.

Stilinskisparkles. What can I say that hasn’t been said before. Do you need anything more than to see their name to convince you this is worth reading? Perhaps you do, perhaps you’re new to Sterek. If so, you’re in for a treat. This, like all their fics, has wonderful characterisation, dialogue, emotion, depth, and universe building. It was just so atmospheric. They have a particular gift for showing everyone’s thoughts and motivations while staying within one POV, Derek’s in this case. It sounds easy but it’s really really hard to do subtly, and this author absolutely nails it. And everything else. Go. Read. Now.

The Hollow Moon by thepsychicclam [Sterek, E, 180k] Post s4 fix it, memory loss/alteration, slow burn, mystery

Author’s summary: It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people.

As you’d expect from something that’s 180k long, this is plotty and deep and takes its time taking you on a journey. It’s quintessentially a fix it fic, fixing all the things the author (any many others) didn’t like about canon at and after season 4 of the show. Which means, spoiler alert, a lot of people who are dead in canon are not dead here. But the way everything is explained and how it all fits together works so well, I didn’t mind in the slightest. It’s a bit like everything you wished canon could be, and that’s certainly not a bad thing. I almost wish I’d waited and read it all in one rather than as a WIP, because as much as I usually don’t mind reading things as WIPs, I feel like this should be read the way a novel is read - all in one. So if you can do it that way, I’d recommend it. If you can’t, read it anyway. It’s the canon we all deserve, and if Jeff won’t give it to us, we’ll damn well make it ourselves.