#deranged posts from deranged writer

[chrysalizzm]

fuck it im publishing my korean mcyt mystery crime squad fanned fiction and none of u gay fucks can stop me. least of all myself

[cloudbends]

well. (Bashes my head into the wall over and over again)

[oops-all-stephen]

Having just read your passionate post about how you feel about Stephen, and that he has a huge, loving heart (I couldn't agree more! and I believe that BC gets that about Stephen), I'd like to ask: what sort of shipping fics would be to your taste? Some of us out here might have some good recs for you.🦋

Omg hi!! Yes I, too, think Benedict is so crucial to Stephen’s depth and growth as a character in the MCU. And his beautiful heart, of course <3. I love how much he cares about his character and how hard he fought for him while filming MoM. I personally can’t imagine anyone else being Stephen; he’s just so lovely. (And I definitely can’t imagine any other actor fighting as hard for Stephen as Ben!)

Ah, but as for your question! Hhhh. Where to begin… I love all Stephen ships, I love the dynamic he has with any character and I so badly wish to see them explored more, I love any sexuality headcanon about Stephen so I don’t mind if he’s shipped with women, or men, etc….. It’s really just difficult to find fics that center on Stephen and not Stephen and someone else or…. just that someone else. Maybe I’m being greedy because I only have eyes for him, but really, any fanfic recommendations in which Stephen is loved and appreciated by any Marvel character and is the center focus of the fic is great and fun and I would love to see it <3.

Oh, but I ain’t new to this fandom, despite my rather recent account. I’ve scoured them tags on ao3 for a long while now, filtered them through hell and back, so believe me when I say that….

If you can find something Stephen-centric and shippy that I have not read, it would certainly impress me.

If you want to, of course. (Or anyone else.) No pressure. I’m just happy someone asked me things!! Speaking of which, anonymous (who I’m pretty sure I know), I want you to know I’ve spent all the hours since you sent this ask deliberating how best to answer you. Because I’m anxious and deranged and accustomed to happily lurking in fandom spaces instead of venturing out and conversing with other fans of my interests. Well. Anyway. Anonymous, I think I love you, thank you for the ask, and good bye!!

[panther-os]

hnnnnnng the fact that Carlos has been trained in gun safety for years, that he's been told "don't put your finger on the trigger unless you intend to fire" until it's second nature to him, that we only really see him with his finger on the trigger of a service weapon like half a second before he does fire it even when all his coworkers have had their fingers on triggers for seconds or minutes, that when he confronted the guy he thought killed his dad he had his finger on the trigger of that pistol the moment he took it out of his belt - maybe even the moment he stepped into the driveway - and he didn't remove it when Owen came running up or when he started to have doubts - not until it was completely clear the guy was 100% innocent (or until someone took it out of his hand, I need to rewatch the whole episode again instead of just clips)

it keeps me awake at night yk?

[livsoulsecrets]

Ben has been one of my favorite characters in the show since the first season and it pisses me off to no end how he’s treated in s4.

I really respected the show’s decision to have Umbrella!Ben sacrifice himself for Viktor because it made sense for his character to be ready to move on in that moment and to do that for his brother and his family. It was an end that did justice to his character.

But if Viktor dies at the end, and so does the whole family, then his sacrifice is for nothing. Ben saved his family at the expense of his own existence for what reason? So that they could live a couple more years and die anyway in the series finale?

I enjoyed the new take they did with Sparrow!Ben as a version of Ben who grew up without the mess and love of the Umbrellas and how much that changed things because it was a compelling concept—which had no pay off in s4.

Why did the show bother establishing Sparrow!Ben as an asshole that was also desperate to belong and be liked, as the guy who whined about not being invited to Luther’s bachelor party and asked Klaus why the other Ben was so much better?

Why did we go through all this story arc if he ends up exactly the same in s4? Ben is still pushing everyone away, still considering himself to have no family and no friends, still thinking of himself as a bad person.

I thought we’d get to see Sparrow!Ben clash with the others in order to show them he’s not their Ben. And it would have been so freaking satisfying to watch the siblings accept and understand he’s his own person and decide they want Sparrow!Ben in the family anyway. That would be an emotional conflict I’d care about, not the bullshit insta-love the writers pulled with Jennifer.

What was the point of Sparrow!Ben this season? He was used to being a soldier, but seemed desperate for a family last season—a family he immediately rejected when it was offered to him in s4.

He died a horrible death and had no control over his own body at the end. He didn’t even become a stupid flower in the new timeline*. He just ceased to exist—all alone.

With no family or ties. No hero death. Why did the audience spend 2 seasons getting to know this new version of a well liked character if the show did absolutely nothing to take the story to any decent conclusion?

Both Umbrella and Sparrow Ben are just erased from the narrative because the show didn’t even bother including them in their stupid collective death ending. 4 seasons of Ben’s death haunting the narrative and the Hargreeves for this?

I’m ranting like a deranged madman but that’s my main takeaway. What a waste :/

*I wrote this in a hurry and was pretty pissed but some comments pointed out there were 8 flowers in the post credit scene so Ben is probably one of them

[rphantom1]

This post might be kind of deranged of me, but I needed to get this off my chest.

Smut Writers!

I will NOT accept you all writing the brothers as doms in Nightbringer! There's no way I will be participating in such flawed writing!

(Yes, I will. I love you guys dearly <3.)

They fell from the Celestial Realm a year ago have been on house arrest for the entire time.

I'm very sorry, but there's just no way any of them are putting it down like that. Logically, there's no way they have felt the warmth of a woman/man/non-binary in that time.

And yes, that means Asmo.

And, ESPECIALLY Lucifer.

MAKE THESE GUYS THE LOSERS (affectionate) THAT WE ALL KNOW THEY ARE.

Edit: I (finally) fixed my mistake and wrote it it was a year since they fell. Thanks to everyone who pointed it out.💜

[toxicanonymity]

For context, a tumblr account has been posting anon hate for the past week or so, mostly toward writers. A parasocial hater of mine discovered the account and has been going to town. I posted this after they invoked Israel as an analogy. Yes really.

Obviously I am disgusted by what I just read, and floored that anyone would post such a deranged analogy in the interest of stirring up fandom drama. I'm very sorry to everyone who has been attacked and everyone who has witnessed all this. Others have posted about the situation as a whole, and I'm not sure what I could add. But I want you to know many of these "confessions" are from one individual who has been fixated on me (and probably others) for weeks if not months. I already had the following in my drafts:

warning: please don't read this if you're sensitive to hate or could be triggered by the trivialization of real abuse. (edit: they went on to trivialize genocide too but they'll pretend to be different people). there's also a really gross anatomical reference.

the screenshots are all after I blocked them.

I normally don't address things like this, but that's because I'm trying to keep it off your dash and off my blog (for several reasons including not wanting to give the hate a larger audience). Normally I block/delete. But thanks to a blog dedicated to posting anon hate, some of this is already on the dash, and I thought some additional context could be illuminating.

a couple weeks ago, this person chimed in on my non-fandom post, and their comment made me uncomfortable. I checked to see if they followed me and they didn't, plus their blog tagline was antagonistic. I was confident they weren't being earnest. I replied, pointing out my issue with their comment and asking them to keep their thoughts to themselves rather than coming at me from a sideblog. I thought they must have followed me from a main account since they somehow found an untagged, unreblogged post without following me. But I now realize they were simply hate checking my blog.

(Blocked the burner too)

They were saying this last bit preemptively - I've never talked about stalkers here. I didn't include all their anons, just enough to show they clearly out themselves as being the same person. In other "confessions," they make repeated references to a former fandom writer they idolize (not me) who they also posted about on their blog.

I won't be dropping this creep's url in this post, but I had never heard of them. This week they have repeatedly changed their url, display name, and blog appearance. Their writing is recognizable and I believe they are responsible for the unhinged asks preceding katy's departure from tumblr. They also made a rude comment on her post.

This may only aggravate them. I expect them to hurl any lies and accusations they can think of toward me. They will act like they're laughing and amused, too. You may recognize their tone. I want to trust this fandom not to believe and repeat anything they hear, but unfortunately my experience in this fandom leaves me pessimistic.

I can only hope people use common sense at this point.

Note - I know I'm normally really private about everything, but you're welcome to share this. Their lies are already out there anyway. Also feel free to DM me and I will tell you what you want to know.

Update: the anon-hate account referred to above has deactivated. It was named pedgeconfessions. It wasn't the first to pop up this summer and may not be the last.

[nightdivinity]

Drink Responsibly! Prologue

ABO!Vampire!Batfam x reader

Minors! Do! Not! Engage! +18 only.

Platonic! Alfred, Bruce x reader, Possessive! Batboys x reader

Warnings: Alcohol, bad choices, stupid choices, possessive behavior, a/b/o fic, there is slight blood and gore, it's a vampire au, age gaps, because they're all significantly older, it's going to get suggestive from here on out, reverse harem, slight proofreading

Writer's Note: I want to thank @sophiethewitch1 for inspiring me and talking me through posting my writing. I hope it doesn't let you down! This is also my first time posting my writing on Tumblr, please be gentle. English is not my first language. Also, this is a why choose fic. So, it's Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian x reader. Maybe even Duke. I think four is a lot. Got to draw the line somewhere. Chapter 2 will be posted tomorrow.

It was midnight when you finally stumbled out of the latest club. Your heels were long gone, as you had taken them off the first time they got stuck in a grate. You’re pretty sure you handed them to a nice girl in the bathroom while her friend held your hair as you threw up copious amounts of alcohol and bar food. She had been super nice, you liked the way her short black hair was spiked, and her blonde friend’s eyeliner was superb. Anyways, now you are shoeless and desperately looking for the next bar on your crawl.

Gin’s. Ooh, that’ll do. You reach out and grab your friend’s bicep, point at the neon sign, and do vague gestures. Of course, your friend is not as well off as you are, so it takes a while to get your point across. Only they start crying again over their bullshit bar fling, and the fact you have no shoes.

It didn’t matter, none of it truly mattered. Not a single thing. This was your one night off after weeks of back-to-back grueling shifts at a job that doesn’t care whether you live or die. Yesterday you even took a quick unintentional power nap on the toilet. All of this resulted in you being slightly crazed and a little deranged as your night progressed.

But hey, Gotham just brings that out in people. In your job's defense, no one could take any more sick or inclement weather days thanks to all the random villain attacks next to or at your office. You blame the monthly rut.

At least you didn’t get stuck on the subway taped to a bench by the Riddler this week as he awkwardly rifled through a notebook of pickup lines. Life was certainly looking up.

See, unfortunately, or fortunately depending on the propaganda you consumed, you were born an Omega. Which had never truly been an issue. Except for the fact that thanks to a few foul choices from the government, it was getting harder and harder to get access to affordable pheromone blockers. You wouldn’t have even chanced this outing if you hadn’t found that one pill that rolled a little under your cabinet. Hey, you were desperate for a night out.

“I’m going there”, you slur.

Yes, this was asinine, but you still managed to wheel yourself and your friend to Gin’s. You hardly noticed the dark shadows following you as your friends from the bathroom quietly herded you. As you and your friend jaywalked across the street, you didn’t notice the red-headed woman standing in the middle of the road, blocking traffic from actually hitting you. It also barely registered when the nice boy with flashing gold eyes took your hand and led you past the line and directly to the front. This. Was. Your. Night. Out.

“Hey man, she can’t come in here with no shoes”, the bouncer at the door complains.

He was going to say more until he looked at the man holding your hand so nicely. You could hear the slight choking noise, and in your drunken stupor, you stumbled a little into your guide.

“He’s going to shit himself”, you stage-whisper. Or what you think was whispering. You were screaming over the pounding bass spilling out of the door.

                “Shhh, Jackson, she’s with me”, your guide replies.

                “She can come in, her friend can’t. Sorry Duke, they’re way too fucked up”, the bouncer swears.

                You gasp and let go of Duke’s hand, instead reaching for your friend and pulling them tight into your embrace. While smashing their face into your chest. Even though you were the most drunk you’ve ever been, you didn’t miss the spike in pissed-off Alpha vibes that happened around you. Still, you smacked a hand against your friend’s ear in an effort to protect them from what was said. Then you got sidetracked by their hair. It reminded you that you wanted a pet. Although with your work and class schedule, it would probably die in a week. Three days tops. At least you had your emotional support friend.

                “I can’t leave them alone”, you say.

                “Hun, how about I call them an Uber, they look like they’re ready to pass out. They definitely can’t handle it anymore”, Duke replies.

                He gestures towards your friend, and you notice how they’re slowly swaying on their feet. Eyes half closed. Shit. It would be shitty if you left them passed out somewhere in the bar as you danced and drank. They were already on their fourth wind and fading fast.

                “Look, you see this nice car”, Duke continues.

                He turns you three, and suddenly you notice the nice black town car next to the road. You vaguely register the fact that it’s one of those high-roller cars. Ones that only the richest in Gotham could afford.

                “See, this is Killian, he works for Wayne Enterprises. He’ll make sure your friend makes it home. I’ll even have him text you when they get there. Won’t that be nice? You don’t have to worry at all (y/n).”, he tells you.

                You nod, and it all makes sense somehow in your drunken brain. He knows your name, so obviously you know him. He also knows your friend, since he rattles off their address and gently pries them from your clutches before handing them off to Killian.

You pay no mind to the mention of a name that would have sent shivers down your spine normally. Wayne. Mysterious and dangerous to all who get involved.

                “I need them back, don’t sell their organs”, you warn.

                Then he gives you a tight brisk smile as he turns away from you. A persistent thought is starting to nag its way through the cotton in your head. The slightest unsettling feeling. Maybe there was something wrong with that blocker pill you found on the floor of your kitchen. You were certainly feeling as though there were a lot of pissed-off Alphas near you. The undercurrent of anger was a tang you couldn’t escape. More and more you felt the need to run somewhere dark and quiet to hide.

                You ignore the persistent tugging by Duke as you watch your friend get loaded into the car and driven away. Well. That ends that.

                The next time Duke tugs on your hand, it causes you to slightly stagger. He easily catches you and spins you around and through the door before you can protest.

                “Can I have a Rum and Coke?”, you shout over the music.

                “Yeah totally”, Duke shouts back.

                It’s only until you are tugged past the bar that you realize that everything is not all sunshine and daisies. No. No. This is wrong. You want to go back.

                You put your heels in. Duke was not ready for resistance as your hand slid out of his grasp on the way to the V.I.P. section. He turns around to get a better hold of you, only to watch you slip into the crowd and get lost in the sea of swaying bodies. Fuck. He was told to bring you to them. You still had to be here, there’s no way you could have bumbled off far. Shit. One job.

                Duke ran a palm over his face as he scanned the crowd. There’s no doubt in his mind. Bruce was going to be pissed. He wasn’t supposed to know about your little excursion out. Everyone had agreed, they would watch over you as the day turned. You still weren’t used to Gotham; you didn’t know the sort of creatures that came out during the night. While the rest of the world was happy and filled with normal and meta shifters, Gotham was overflowing with the less-than-stable. All more than happy to take a bite out of the innocent. The only thing that kept it in check was the unspoken King and his disgraced hellions.

If you had been sober, you would have noticed the people slowly disappearing from the crowd. You would have noticed that tonight was absolutely not a good night to be out. One by one, shrieks of fear and pain were mistaken for fun. Jostling in the crowd was hardly registered as the violence spread. The whole night, you were in a sea of sharks feeding. Now you had finally ditched what you didn’t know was your only protection.

                 Not to worry, fear splashes hot and cold against your nerves as sharp claws grip your arm, your back slamming into the bar as a distended jaw hisses open in front of you.

                Yeah. Maybe you should have been drinking responsibly.

[dokidokitsuna]

“Some of us…will always be alone”

Skipping forward a bit in this re-concept, just because I can~ (loooong post ahead)

So one of the many things I found underwhelming about Return of the Mammalians is the lack of villainous impact Mr. Grizz has on his own story.

For starters, he’s straight up absent from 80% of it. =/ Just a vaguely threatening disembodied voice that does weak comedy bits with Cap’n Cuttlefish from time to time…and that’s basically it until we face him in the final battle.

The worst thing he’s responsible for in the story (as in, a successful act we have to contend with, rather than a work-in-progress that we interrupt) is dehydrating Cuttlefish…which is very temporary and played for laughs immediately afterwards. We don’t even get the opportunity to engage with this “tragedy” by actively rescuing the Cap’n in gameplay, we just suddenly find his body during a cutscene.

Compare this to Commander Tartar manipulating the player and lying directly to their face throughout the game, attempting to kill the player during the reveal of its treachery in one of the most memorable scenes of the entire series, brainwashing a former protagonist into fighting the player, and then attempting to destroy an entire city while quietly confessing that it murdered thousands of victims just to get to this point.

I’ll let you guess which one of these antagonists feels like a genuine threat, and which one just feels like a disappointment. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, I don’t mind Mr. Grizz being less violent and deranged than Commander Tartar…the two have different personalities and slightly different goals, and anyway a body count isn’t really necessary to be a convincing villain. But I DO mind him being so totally uninvolved, despite being a character that we already knew and interacted with beforehand. Like, at the very least…talk to the player. o_O Care about the player. Do something to interfere with the player sometime before the last minute! The fact that Grizz just doesn’t give a damn about our existence for most of the campaign is baffling from a writer’s standpoint, and heartbreaking from a Grizz-fan’s standpoint. ;_; Notice me, Kuma-san!!

…Anyway, there’s a million ways to remedy this, because it’s such a simple and obvious problem that really shouldn’t exist. ^^; And the one I chose for #re_rise (besides having Grizz haunt the game like an ever-present specter, as explained here) is one of my old tried-and-true favorites: using the villain to parallel the protagonist.

Basically, both characters are lonely at heart. Agent 3 left home for the Splatlands in search of a “fresh beginning”, after spending most of their life feeling like they never fit in anywhere. Throughout the story, we get subtle clues that what they want most is belonging and friendship…which they’re clearly discovering through their interactions with Deep Cut and Smallfry, although it’s not until the climax of the final battle that they can truly believe in it and accept it.

And of course, Mr. Grizz lost his home and entire civilization, and even in the midst of a thriving new one (that he actively engages with through his corporation…!) he’s apparently such a massive bigot that he doesn’t consider it worthy of his company. ^^; Fish-people do not count to him, thus his loneliness is self-inflicted and intensified. He believes his only recourse is to transform the world back into something he can accept.

These parallels, plus the desire-manifesting powers of Alterna’s crystals (discussed in this post) eventually brings the two characters to an understanding of sorts. Without having to exchange words, they can see and consider the similarities of their innermost feelings.

This doesn’t have much of an effect on Grizz, outside of something he might muse about while Agent 3 ascends the launchpad (and maybe quietly internalize as proof that fish-people have feelings too, just to give his last-second change of heart at least one leg to stand on). But it weighs heavily on Agent 3, especially since they’re being physically changed by their adventure in a way that makes these parallels even more relevant…yes, I’m finally gonna talk about what I actually drew. ^^

My idea was that spending too much time around Fuzzy Ooze will affect you even if you don’t touch it (i.e. through splashes/aerosols), just to a lesser degree. And since Agent 3 was the first to actually enter the underground lab spaces and spends more time fighting there than anyone else, they’ve had an unprecedented amount of secondhand exposure to it.

Through O.R.C.A.’s files, they can understand why this mild fuzzification is happening to them, and that it may not be reversible, although they press on anyway (I’d like to imply that they’re willing to ignore it to impress Deep Cut~). But Grizz’s offhand comments make them realize that they may be unintentionally setting themselves up to be cast aside again, slowly turning into a repulsive mutant monster that no one will want to be around. The only one of their kind in the world, just like a certain Ursine Anomaly…and if they succeed in stopping Grizz’s plan, that’s all they’ll ever be. 

…On the other hand, if they were to sit back and let him fuzzify the world, then…no, they couldn’t do that. They…wouldn’t…

[in-my-shifting-era]

Undercover

Spencer Reid Fluff

Summary: When an unsub is hunting for young couples at a bar; reader and Spencer are asked to go under cover posing as a couple to catch him.

Warning: the usual criminal minds stuff. Some mature themes are mentioned; illusion of alcohol consumption and some sexual tension and themes. (Not full smut but to be save minors do not interact please)

Authors note: the love my last Spencer one shot get is making my writer heart explode thank you all! This post is a thank you for all that love!

———————————————————————————————————

Going to a bar on the job was something you never imagine doing. Especially going to a bar undercover to catch a deranged serial killer who’s targeting young couples. This did mean you weren’t at the bar alone. You there with your coworker/ longtime crush Spencer Reid. Hotch has no idea about your crush on the young doctor, otherwise he probably wouldn’t have put you guys in this situation.

The situation being sat at the busy bar; hair and makeup done up and wearing a black dress that hugs your curves just a little too well. Spencer is sat on your right stirring his fake mixed drink that is placed in front of him. You look over and smile at the concentrated  face he makes as he moves the ice around in his cup. He quickly picks up on this action and turns to you and gives you a confused look before speaking. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

You can’t quite hear him over the music that is playing and lean closer to him, giving him a pretty good view down your low cut dress. Reid fights the blush burning his cheeks and starts to speak again when you get the sign from Hotch that the unsub has entered the bar. You take your closeness to Spencer to your advantage and get into character quickly by tucking some hair between his ear . “No, I’m just looking at my handsome boyfriend. that’s all.” You smile widely seeing Spencer’s cheek fully darken to a blush at your comment. You lean back in your bar stool and take your mock tail and sip it lightly.

The pub fires you begged Spencer to order finally arrive making you do a small happy dance as you eat a fry. Spencer smiles at this and takes a fry. “I’ve always found it really cute when you do that.” You blush lightly and look over at him eating his fry with a smile. “Do what? Eat my food?” You keep your tone playful as you take another fry and eat it happily. “No the little dance you do. You do it any time you are excited for something.”

You blush at this because you can tell this is coming from Spencer and not part of the undercover job. You don’t get to respond because you get word that the unsub is scanning the bar and to up the pda to gain his attention. They believe he goes for couples who are physically all over each other. Spencer places a hand on your knee and squeezes it gently. “It’s also cute that you blush at just my words”

The tone change in his voice makes your heart skip a beat. Your earpiece tells you you’re both on the unsubs radar so he continues and moves his hand further up your leg. You mumble his name breathlessly knowing your co workers are watching you as well. You put your hand on his to stop it from wondering further. “You’re hands are wandering and we’re and public babe.” The cheeky smile that falls onto Spencer’s face is not one you’ve see often.

You both see the unsub creep closer to where you are sat you look up at Spencer through your eyelashes. “Maybe we can skip getting ice cream and have dessert at home.” Spencer squeezes at your thigh rougher then he did before and begins to speak when you feel a cold drink spill onto your lap. You looks over at the culprit and are face to face with the unsub.

“I’m so sorry Miss I slipped on some water on the floor, let me help you.” He rushes to get some napkins when Spencer stands quickly and stands between you both. “She’s okay. I’ll clean her up.” The unsub abandons his act of kindness and glairs over at Spencer. “I’m just being polite and I think she can speak for herself if she’d like my help.” You feel both men’s eyes turn to you. You responded quickly and calmly. “It’s okay really. I’ll get the dress dry cleaned. Thank you though.”

Spencer puts a napkin against the spill and keeps his eyes glued on the unsub who steps back a bit and glares at you both. His hand reaches to his belt and you catch a glimpse of a knife. You fix you hair in the way to alert the team the unsub is armed. “Let’s just head out babe. The quicker I attend to the stain the better.” Spencer nods picking up the signal and keeps himself in front of you at all times.

As you stand slowly and grab you purse on the chair when someone grabs your arm rather harshly. Before you can even react and see who it is grabbing you you see Spencer pull the unsub away from you and pin him roughly against the bar with one hand behind his back. “Keep your hands off of her.” The unsub attempts to fight back but Spencer takes a grip on his arm and twists it back a bit.

The rest of the undercover agents in the bar apprehended the unsub and take him out quickly. You jump back to reality the Spencer places a hand on your arm gently. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?.” You look up at him gently. “I’m okay Spence. He just grabbed my arm kinda tight. I’ll be okay.” You give him the best reassuring smile you can still being a bit shaken up.

Spencer rubs your arm gently where a red mark has formed. He takes your ear piece off quickly and then his own and leans towards you to whisper gently. “You looked really beautiful tonight. I’m saying that with no mics or eyes on us.” You smooth out the tie he wearing that had gotten messed up in the take down just moments before. “I’d like to go on a real date with you Dr. Reid. I’m could wear this dress if you’d like.”

You give Spencer an innocent smile. He hides a blush my licking his lips slowly. The moment is ruined by the team joining you both and making sure you’re both okay. The tension in the air is thick but no one seems to take notice of it. Going undercover went better then you could have asked for. You caught the unsub and a date with Spencer Reid.

[eretzyisrael]

by Matti Friedman

The failure of Holocaust education has been most sharply observed by the writer Dara Horn, particularly in a prescient essay for The Atlantic last spring and before that in a 2021 book, People Love Dead Jews. After visiting numerous museums and speaking to educators who teach Holocaust curricula, she concludes in the essay, “The bedrock assumption that has endured for nearly half a century is that learning about the Holocaust inoculates people against antisemitism. But it doesn’t.” 

By turning the Holocaust into a generic story about prejudice, Horn argues, Holocaust education left its recipients without any understanding of the specific problem facing Jews—or even much sympathy for real Jews in the present. 

This was the argument she made half a year before the Hamas attack of October 7 and its aftershocks, when any doubts about the accuracy of Horn’s hypothesis were put to rest. The well-meaning donors who’ve footed the astronomical bill for museums, memorials, classes, and films should ask for their money back.

The confusion between knowledge of the how and of the why is illustrated, inadvertently, in the figure of one of the experts interviewed in Evil on Trial, Omer Bartov, a Holocaust historian at Brown who describes himself as a “historian of genocide.” Bartov, who is Israeli, belongs to Israel’s most unfortunate export category—namely, academics who find a home for themselves on an increasingly unhinged Western left by reassuring their comrades that their dark fantasies about Israel are sane. Barely a month after October 7, Bartov wrote a New York Times op-ed accusing Israel of “crimes against humanity” and warning of a possible “genocide” in Gaza, taking the two key terms first invented to describe the Nazis and deploying them against Jews. Then, after visiting one of the college encampments where Zionists are cast as malevolent global villains, he reassured an interviewer from Democracy Now! that he’d seen nothing amiss and that antisemitism on American campuses “does not exist in any significant form.” The protesters may be trafficking in lurid stories of Jewish evil, but the Holocaust professor thinks that this time the stories are true.Prisoner shoes on display at the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp, Oświęcim, Poland. (via Alamy)

One of the blithe assumptions of Holocaust narrative has always been that no one would identify with the Nazis, but this is wrong. They’re villains, to be sure, but also strong figures, men of action. Just as the best character in Schindler’s List is the Nazi commandant played by Ralph Fiennes, the best character in Evil on Trial is Adolf Hitler, acted with deranged energy in the reenactment scenes by Károly Kozma. When I finished the series on Netflix, I saw that I could continue to Hitler’s Circle of Evil, then to Hitler: A Career, and then to five other movies with title screens featuring Nazis. All of this manages not only to bestow upon the Nazis a kind of dark glamor but also to reassure everyone that if you don’t have a red band on your arm and a skull on your hat, you’re fine. 

The Jews, on the other hand, tend to be mostly absent as real characters. They occasionally appear to be marched away with their hands up or shot into ditches in their underwear. But we don’t get a sense of who they are, or why their difference—and particularly their stubborn refusal to adopt whatever ideology is current—has repeatedly turned them into figures of hate. 

The liberal West may believe itself to be post-Christian, but it’s still the world created by an ideological system that co-opted Judaism and then developed a furious resentment toward its continued existence, thus establishing a civilizational pattern that seems destined to repeat forever.

If Holocaust stories treat Jews as props, they miss understanding what the Jews think about what’s happening to them. And what they think is worth consideration, not just out of courtesy.

Judaism is a religion with a very long memory, and Jewish texts include stories of oppression and extermination stretching back to Pharaoh in the Book of Exodus. Europe’s Jews saw the threat as a continuum that didn’t start or end with Hitler. They knew he was a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself. It is this insight, unlike the details of SS hierarchy or the sadism of Dr. Mengele, that has the power to help us make sense of the world we see right now. 

[konigsblog]

I think the only issue I have with your writing itself is the “loser/incel König” stuff. With the character’s (meager) backstory being that he was bullied it comes across as you speaking poorly of people who have suffered through that and issuing a pipeline from bully victim -> rapist incel. With the number of those posts you write, it feels like you’re fetishizing mental illness and making it out like a character that struggles socially must end up being a creep who can’t get laid so he resorts to forcing himself on people. The fantasies are fine and I often indulge in your Simon + other 141 content (you’re a great writer and I’m not trying to slight you at all!). I just have your König tags blocked. I just don’t understand how you say you like a character so much but then consistently do nothing but write content that sexualizes his abuse and harps on him having no other possible way to be but some freak (which in your Simon posts isn’t the case? Even though he has a tragic backstory too?). Idk. Gives weird “I sexualize mental illness and if you’re also a bullying victim fuck you” vibes 💀 im not trying to be an asshole i just genuinely want to know why you are. like that.

You're an absolute eejit. Genuine question, what's inside your thick skull? A couple of flies and some dust?🤦‍♀️ Not once have I ever said that if you're a victim of bullying, you'll become a rapist/abuser. But, mental illness can cause you to do horrible things. Not that it's bound to happen, but there's a possibility.

What you said makes no sense at all, considering I've never stated that all victims of bullying will become horrible people themselves. And FYI, I do write Simon as a rapist/a horrible person. I have multiple times... I've written him as a depraved, sick, and deranged bastard countless times. So, no. It's not just König because he's a bully victim, or whatever you're trying to say. We know absolutely nothing about him (aside from his bullying and social anxiety), so I can portray him any way I'd like to.

I don't owe you an explanation as to why I'm like this, why I choose to depict and portray some COD characters as horrible people (mainly because it's likely they WOULD be if you actually used your head..). You're not entitled to that information. Mind your damn business.

[thecruellestmonth]

quick and dirty guide to Jason Todd in the masterpiece Batman: Battle for the Cowl—canon and fanon

CANON

Jason canonically is a cop-killing asshole garbage manbaby hypocrite who shoots a ten-year-old in the chest.

is a bad person explicitly because his dirty criminal childhood on the streets made him crazy and immoral. He canonically was ruined before Batman ever scraped him out of Crime Alley. (Canon—only a fake fan would argue against it!)

The Lazarus Pit also worsened his mind.

Described as "deranged" and "delusional" and "broken" and "rabid".

Crucifies Tim's Batsuit on a literal wooden cross, but Tim rises from the dead because he's Jesus.

Shoots ten-year-old Damian in the chest, then ridicules Dick for trying to save a "meaningless life".

After being shot, Damian lies on his sickbed just long enough for Dick to brood over his unconscious body.

As soon as Dick leaves, Damian jumps up, tries to swing a wrench at Alfred's head, makes a sexist comment to Squire, and then goes out running around as Robin like nothing happened.

Dick tries to use some unspecified shameful childhood trauma to trigger Jason into accepting Help, but for some mysterious reason Jason refuses—and obviously deranged, delusional, broken people Refuse Help because they're bad people who don't want to change.

-- (Somewhere, John Calvin is moaning in pleasure.) --

Uh thanks for the brief help in the B-plot, Cass—now go away, your thoughts and feelings about all this don't matter.

Apparently Jason can't transform into a man-eating tentacle monster anymore. :(

Overall, the art is pretty swanky.👌

AFTERMATH: Jason commits some dozens more murders.

Dick rightly finds him to be an insufferable asshole, and gains the ability to say so without resorting to ableism.

Damian doesn't care about being shot in the chest and suffers no lasting damage, he is too busy being in fun stories that actually further his character.

Going forward, none of the next writers really try to push long-term "Lazarus Pit madness" for Jason again--except Winick did try to slip it into the prequel, to salvage his baby.

Jason is never shown apologizing for his actions, yet less than a year later apparently decides he wants "redemption".

Bruce happily hands him a full position in Batman Incorporated, with seemingly no special supervision.

While Jason agrees to be subordinate to Batman, he still enjoys being a cocky bastard, and shows no remorse for his past crimes—which are only vaguely alluded to having happened.

CANON(?)

Battle for the Cowl was canon from 2009 to 2011.

It was wiped from existence when the universe reset in the 2011 Flashpoint reboot.

Presently as of the Infinite Frontier "timeline", BftC probably isn't canon until a writer actively writes it back into history, like No Man's Land fairly recently was.

AFTERMATH: It never happened.

FANON

Some scenario loosely inspired by Battle for the Cowl happens because Jason has glowy eyes Lazarus Pit Madness.

What is a female character...?

The conflict is wrapped up in like 200 words.

AFTERMATH: Dick gives Jason a big hug and apologizes for being the worstest brother ever back when Jason was a lonely little angel child.

Jason finds out that he is the most favoritest Robin for tiny 10-year-old Timmy, and he cries tears of remorse for his Lazarus Pit-induced violent frenzy against a nine eight seven-year-old little spleenless baby Tiny Timmy.

More hugging, cuddling, fingers affectionately carding through hair.

Damian doesn't exist for some reason.

If Damian does exist, he's treated like an unwanted booger instead of a human child. He talks like a robot and has no sense of humor.

Jason maybe scolds insensitive meanie Dick for picking evil Damian over Tiny Timmy. Timmy has been suffering fainting spells and consumption, all alone until Jason rescues him.

FANON

Massive overcompensation for other fanon.

CALLOUT post for Jason Todd!

Jason was a good kid. He isn't a bad person at all because of his childhood on the streets. (Fanon.)

The Lazarus Pit had no effect on his mind.

He is 100% sane and willing.

He is a bad person because he's sanely choosing to be an asshole garbage manbaby hypocrite who shoots a ten-year-old in the chest.

Damian isn't sexist to Squire, because she doesn't exist.

Dick destroys Jason with facts and logic and perfectly ethical therapy-speak, and never gets his hands dirty trying to trigger mental illness.

Jason destroys Damian's spine.

Tim and Damian suffer lasting physical and psychological trauma from Jason's torture—being a soldier is now harmful for a delicate developing child, but only on this singular occasion because Jason.

Alfred is the one who stole the Robin mantle from Tim to give it to Damian. 🥺 Dick was forced into a tough situation—he had no choice in how he handled things! It's Alfred, I tell you!

Dick suddenly has a close bond with Cass.

AFTERMATH: The loving idyllic Batfamily hard-blocks radicalized incel full-grown 18-year-old manbaby Jason.

They live happily ever after.

Paradise Lost Satan Jason must suffer his totally self-inflicted isolation, knowing he can never go back to the warm embrace of the very healthy and functional Batfamily, because of his petty, stubborn, definitely made-up unreasonable delusions of being a soldier in an endless warzone.

Hopefully some more cruelty and isolation can make Jason realize he's receiving karmic punishment for being a bad person—somehow this is clearly different from all the cruelty and isolation that happened to him for no reason at all.

--(John Calvin has recovered from his refractory period—he is now moaning more loudly and passionately.)--

"Yes, this is totally what happened! Read a comic, fake fans!" *makes up a fake version of BftC that never happened*

[poughkeepsies]

You asked so let me lay out the mental gymnastics I have done to reach buddie roomates

1. Not a single bts of that loft. I feel like we were getting loft bts all the time last year (also there were like so many loft scenes last year too so that might be why)

2. Built the biggest most expensive rolling stage thing of all time. I believe either they have to build new sets this year or rent the sets from fox = bucks loft didnt make the cut (pure spec on my part watch oliver post bts of the loft today on his ig takeover)

3. “Giving the fans what theyre asking for” in terms of buddie what the fans have been asking for (at least that I see the most and think the writers would be aware of) is buddie canon, trapped dads (which was mostly just finale spec but I do think could happen in cruise disaster), buck breakdown/therapy, buckley diaz fam content, death to bucks loft/buddie roommates. And buddie roommates not only captures 2 of those but is also my fav of them so my mind went there

4. Buck and eddie closer than ever / knowing each other on a deeper level than before (Im paraphrasing bc I cant remember all 20 devastating ryan quotes rn): from personal experience, you can be very close with someone, but living with them is a whole new experience and you learn things about people you never knew before. One of the most intimate ways to get to know someone imo

5. Kind of like a said with a newish audience, 10 ep season that includes 2ep big emergency and madney wedding, and also the fact I feel the show has never explicitly hinted at buddie (I dont count the s2 stuff tim has said was fan service and 601/612 felt like it but thats it) I dont think full buddie canon is on the table this season. But a great way to explicitly hint that buddie canon is happening at some point would be roommates storyline

In conclusion: there will probably be 30 loft scenes this season and Im dumb but one can dream

everybody take a look at this ask and learn. this is the exact kind of deranged unserious reaching that we've been missing in this fandom lately. I love you and I applaud you anon 🫵

[easternmind]

Lessons in Japanese Game Design #3

From Killer7 to Deadly Premonition, Japanese game creators have intrepidly explored the theme of mental illness in a variety of genres, often in highly stylized form. The title I wish to approach today is a lesser known reference that approached this subject matter with unusual tact and clarity - a memory, if you will, which the collective conscious has long repressed.

Maria Kimi Tachi Ga Umareta Wake (The Reason You Were Born) is a late 1997 adventure game firmly rooted in the visual novel template that earned Chunsoft great repute. It was Break studio's debut, produced over a year and half for both the PlayStation and Saturn systems. It was published by Axela, a company born out of the internal management conflicts and accumulated debt at ASCII, leading to some of its executives teaming up in 1996 to establish a new project centred around software and magazine publishing. The story of this company's origins, alone, would merit a separate post.

Foreseeably, its release was followed by moderate controversy, such that worked mostly in its favour. One of the most polemical moments is found in the introduction scene, with its tasteful yet unvarnished depiction of Maria's suicide attempt, followed by her hospital admission. The imagery and that which it depicts remains as painful to watch today as it did decades ago.

While Maria is the central character, her tragedy and arc merge with that of the actual protagonist, Jun Takano, a fledgeling surgeon who, in the quality of certified psychiatrist, is assigned to provide therapy to the French-Japanese patient the morning after her admittance.

Maria's mental illness component comes to light as the story and therapy sessions progress. The key art consists of photos of women using coloured masks to visually represent the dimensions of her multiple personality disorder.

(Note: the text above is machine translated from the original Japanese game manual.)

Break was denounced for its bid to integrate so serious a derangement as a theme in a juvenile entertainment piece. Their reaction was to highlight the research done to ensure a careful treatment of the subject and sensitization of players via a bespoke message in the manual. In retrospect, the relative popularity of this game at the time was greatly owned to this fleeting controversy, and is believed to have been a crucial factor in the obtention of budget for Maria's far less spirited sequel.

As a work of pure fiction, scenario writer Kirie Fukuda was at liberty to carry the already divisive premise into even more exotic territory by establishing a mysterious yet playful correspondence between Maria's distinct personas and Egyptian deities.

The game's structure is modelled after hirudorama, a Japanese word interchangeably used to describe daytime TV fiction or soap operas; each of its nine chapters lasting nearly thirty minutes, equipped with a plot twist, cliff-hanger ending, and followed by rolling credits.

Perhaps the single most outstanding aspect about this production results from a tireless effort to surpass the standard of authenticity in what pertains facial expressions; particularly those of the multifaceted Maria, often with stilted yet all the more fascinating results.

In this and other regards, the influence of D no Shokutaku and its character, Laura, is clear and unmistakable. Maria's director and studio head at Break, Akira Okada, was an ex-Warp employee who worked as sales director precisely at the time when Eno's game was being developed.

Following a modest success, Break released Maria 2: Jutaikokuchi no Nazo in 99, a not-so-direct sequel which did not command the same attention as the original. The studio created other noteworthy visual novels: Ouma ga Toki and its sequel, as well as the most unusual Saishuu Densha, a paranormal-themed romantic story involving two strangers who meet in a train.

Before closing, it would pay to emphasize that this is an entirely different adventure game from the similarly forgotten MA-RI-A Ningōkan no Noroi, a 1996 3D CG horror adventure designed by Osamu Tezuka's son, Makoto; and scored by Kuniaki Haishima, of Kowloon's Gate and Siren 2 fame.

Nor is it related in any way with the so-called "Maria" episode from the Yarudora visual novel game series, Sampaguita, released in 1997 for the PlayStation by Sugar & Rockets and Production I.G.

[ripeteeth]

Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

Thanks, @danpuff-ao3! You’re always a treat to see on the dash and I hope you’ve been having a lovely break <3.

I’m always a bit awkward with these, both from an itching sort of discomfort with staring my own artwork in the face, and I think from a lifetime habit of denying compliments out of a feeling of guilt or fear. So! I’ve had a glass of wine (and an edible) and I’m going to try to kinder to myself. I might be in the mood to talk right now. (Honestly, that’s a good sign. One of the big elements of my recent writer’s block has been an inability to express myself in any written way, even tumblr posts and comments. Maybe this is why I hit twitter so hard.)

My five favorite fics. Not my five best fics. Not my five most popular fics. My favorites. Hmm.

5. blood, bones, and butter | MDZS/The Untamed] SongXueXiao | E, 12,443

“A relationship, deconstructed. Served three ways.”

Ah, Yi City, that deliciously painful Shakespearean tragedy echoing Wangxian’s romance. The specific notes of obsession, revenge, love, and grief that run through these three make me completely unhinged. I love the quiet service and stoic devotion of Song Lan, the otherworldliness and power of Xiao Xingchen, the unchecked brilliance and cruelty that fill up Xue Yang. The Yi City fandom is easily one of the most incredible fandoms I’ve ever been a part of, full of uniquely talented and deranged writers and artists who love to really explore the dark edges and nitty-gritty of these character and let them be their fucked-up selves. The appeal of SongXueXiao isn’t to make it better for them, it’s to see how much you can make it worse.

It’s two pretty classic tropes: a first time after meeting at a bar, and also a story told from alternating POVs. I really wanted to focus on trying to carve out distinctive interiorities, like their motivations, their assumptions, their fears, their memories, and allow the reader to draw their own conclusions without spelling these all out outright. I’d recently rewatched Rashomon, and I love how the understanding of an event can be so differently shaped by each person’s POV and I wanted to show their first night together in that way, moving the lens over the night a few times, before it gets clear. It was a really fun process to focus on and I think it’s one of my best pieces of recent writing.

4. in search of the wind | Good Omens | Crowley/Aziraphale | E, 27,112

After the World Doesn't End, Aziraphale is not returned to his body. Crowley tries to find a way to get to Heaven's fast-shut gates. Aziraphale tries to find his way back from the sky (and back in time).

I remember writing this almost immediately after the show aired, in that heady summer of 2019, when I feel head over sweaty heels for that charming demon and his delicious epicure of an angel. This is essentially how I saw canon going on, this is the headcanon of my soul. Maybe that’s why I haven’t seen season 2 yet? It was a pleasure to write, almost like knitting together different scenes, different pieces of history, like an extended version of the s1s3 cold open. It’s Aziraphale without a body, unmoored in time, turning up at different points along his and Crowley’s history, and realizing that his friend is in love with him. That his friend is heartrendingly in love with him. I love stories that play with structure, striking different chords each time.

I couldn’t write this kind of story again. This belongs to a very specific time.

3. White Light, White Heat | Harry Potter | Snape/Harry | E, 32,107

“In 1347, Benedictine monk and scholar Severus Snape goes to fetch a young man joining the abbey. In 1347, rumors come of a strange and unrelenting plague from the east.”

An AU set in a fourteenth-century Benedictine monastery in Britain during the period of the Black Death where the two men develop a bond through a special sort of crucible. Snape, as always, falls in love with all the grace of a cat being given a bath. As dark as the material is, this was a pleasure to write. I had so much fun describing the setting, peppering fun little facts like a Pop Up Video of Medieval History. I wrote this in a fever-fueled three weeks, absolutely obsessed with getting it down exactly as it was in my head. I loved writing the monster theme and using it as almost a leitmotif for Snape. There’s probably a literary term for that. Is there? Anyway.

2. the body as anagram | The Terror | Crozier/Fitzjames, Crozier/Ross] | E, 3090

“In the dark, it doesn't matter which James is in his bed. As long as Ross doesn't speak, the illusion holds true.”

I took the title from a passage on J.G. Ballard’s Crash by Baudrillard in Simulacra and Simulation: “Technology is never grasped except in the (automobile) accident, that is to say in the violence done to technology itself and in the violence done to the body. It is the same: any shock, any blow, any impact, all the metallurgy of the accident can be read in the semiurgy of the body — neither an anatomy nor a physiology, but a semiurgy of contusions, scars, mutilations, wounds that are so many new sexual organs opened on the body. In this way, gathering the body as labor in the order of production is opposed to the dispersion of the body as anagram in the order of mutilation.”

There’s something a bit haunting about the parallels of the two men who held the intimacy of Francis Crozier’s friendship. The name. The confidence. The bravery. The charming manner and handsome face. I love the idea of a Francis who sails out pining for one man and returns home loving another, switching between true love and placeholder. And I’m notoriously a slut for both proxyfucking and Gremlin!Francis, who just can’t stop pressing on the wound of his grief. It’s not the drink but it may as well be, for all this is good for either he or Ross, but Francis is a fool in love with a dead man and he does what he does to get by.

Something about this came together, from concept to finish, in a way I’m quite happy with. It was fun to play with concepts and free associate from them, focusing less on plot, but more on the vast empty grief in Francis’ chest. Everyone here knows this is a bad idea. No one is having a good time.

1. Revachol Calling | Disco Elysium | Karry/Kim | E, 35,321 [WIP]

“Somewhere in Jamrock, a church burns. A study in Kim Kitsuragi.”

Sometimes you just feel the next part of the story in your bones. When I first played Disco Elysium in 2021 it hit me in an incredibly familiar, emotional way. There’s something somber and hopeful about it. The writing is sardonic, dark and humorous. It’s nearly cynical but it’s cynical with a sad old smile, because cynicism is born through disappointment, and through not quite being ready to give up. I think we can all find ourselves in it, in one way or another and, like many, I’m hopelessly in love with Kim Kitsuragi, a wild creature who’s built himself within thousands of rules. I can’t play the game without craving his side of the story, his interiority, his history, so I grab at the little crystals of information, such as his secret love of Speedfreaks FM and his past with Eyes, and I try to imagine it might go. This is my sequel to the game and, more than anything, this is my love song to Revachol, a character of a city, and one that echoes vastly in all those of post-Communist country and family.

For some reason, this fic is extremely visual for me and usually in a Wong Kar-Wai sort of fashion. Think the saturated aquamarines of a neon diner sign. Think a studio apartment with cheap wallpaper and the yellow-orange flicker of sodium lights. It comes alive at night, when Kim is left alone with his thoughts, running out of rules to keep him safely in. I love that Disco Elysium has such a vast world to explore. It’s an endless playbox.

And this is also, in a way, a bit of an elegy to a belief I’d once held in a motherland, and do not anymore.

I’m almost done with Chapter 8, so hopefully it will be up soon <3

Tagging! @jaggededges123 @soft-october-night @wildcard47 @rcmclachlan @brawlite @zaxal @pearwaldorf @kiingbooooo @darcylindbergh @et-in-arkadia @itsevidentvery @iodhadh @iamwestiec @mia-ugly @laurashapiro-noreally @pinehutch and anyone else who wishes to!