#depression is a b 💔

[lxkeee]

Hey hey!!

Look what i made:D

Francis and [name]!!!

Kimda tried drawing it like fpe.

Fpe is Fundemental paper education!

It's little animation video on youtube:3

Btw i might make this au lol:33

Bye!<3

Have a nice day/evening/night!<33

:0 I LOVE ITTT THEY'RE SO CUTE 😭🩷 THANK YOU FOR MAKING THISSS

[skribbyposts]

resting sad face sanji my beloved….

hc that he’s very attractive but no women ever come up to him b/c he always looks depressed. when one does its to ask if hes ok and then she gets spooked b/c he does a complete 180 and starts flirting w her. sanji you get no play💔

i love headcanoning men as having wide wet eyes and pouty lips GRAHHHHHHH babyface sanji babayface sanji AHHHHHHH

[owliellder]

The Finer Details

Post DI! Leon Kennedy x f! Painter Reader

MDNI 18+

(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)

Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..

Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔

Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare

Author Note: I wanna say there's some pretty descriptive talk about depression in this chapter, just as a heads up. Anyways, it's my weekend and I'm going to be absolutely zooted every single day so the next chapter will most likely be out Monday morning PST lol.

Cross-posted on AO3

Session 3: Blocking In Color

It was nearly three weeks until you saw Leon again.

You tried to call him a couple days after he'd left that day, a few more times over the following week, but to no avail. The man was unreachable.

Even though you did your best to convince yourself that you just wanted to get his painting started, "It was an important one", you knew that you were really just worried about him.

You've seen this kind of dismay with the other retired agents that've had a portrait painted in the past, but they at least recognized what they'd been through.

Leon hasn't. You could just tell.

Looking over the sketches you made of his face, you couldn't help but wonder what exactly he'd been thinking about the last time he was here. He seemed so bothered, acting like he was hiding it so well, too.

Then again, you did drop a rather large bombshell on the guy while he was in a pretty vulnerable state, but you thought he knew what the portrait he was going to receive was suppose to mean. Again, most of the retired agents you'd seen were similar to Leon in that regard and even they at least had a basic grasp on the finality of it all. So why didn't he?

You nursed your bottom lip, still staring at the sketches laying in front of you while you sat at one of your desks in the corner. You normally don't come to your workspace unless you're actively painting, yet you'd shown up everyday in hopes Leon would randomly pop in. He seemed like the kind of guy to just kind of show up, anyways...

If you had just gotten a picture that day you've could've at least started working out the positioning for his portrait. Unfortunately, he wasn't in any position mentally to put up with anymore of your shenanigans at the time, it seemed.

You really did try your best to get ahold of Leon, eventually giving up a few days ago. You'd already emailed the President, who had been the one to personally commission you unlike with previous ex-agents, letting him know that it's going to be longer than expected. Thankfully he was understanding, knowing rather well how much the whole retirement thing was weighing on Leon.

You'll come back tomorrow and try again. Even the next day, and the day after that if you have to, and so on and so forth.

Guilty. That's all Leon felt right now.

He's been shelled up in his house since the moment he got home after leaving your building, withering away by the minute.

He hadn't showered, barely eaten, only ever really pulling himself from what little comfort his room offered to grab whatever bottle he touched first in the cabinet. Leon didn't care, just as long as it was something.

Chris had been over a couple times after he stopped responding to his messages, doing his best to get him out of the house. Claire had been over a few times more than her brother had, bringing groceries once she'd heard about the sad state Leon was keeping himself in.

It broke both their hearts, but they could only do so much for him. Leon was stubborn, head strong, he wasn't the kind to sway to many forces. He had somehow gaslit himself into thinking he was doing well. "Just peachy", even.

Clearly that wasn't the case, both Chris and Claire could see that. They'd have to be blind not to.

Having been in contact with Leon's government-assigned therapist, Chris tried to set up an at-home meeting for him one day. That turned out to be a disaster seeing as Leon was bordering on blackout drunk and could barely keep his eyes open. Not to mention the vomiting.

Claire even tried to bathe Leon. She only got far enough to wash his hair in his kitchen sink, using his vomit-covered mouth as an excuse to keep him over the sink long enough to shampoo his greasy, stringy hair.

All of it was weighing on him too much. He felt so guilty for making his friends feel like they had to babysit him, ignoring everyone's calls and messages, your calls and messages. That kind of thought process quickly spiraled into him reliving the worst days of his life, having to through suffer so many flashbacks and nightmares, not sleeping because of it. He rarely ever felt safe enough to get under the covers on his bed.

None of this is what he wanted. If it were up to him, he'd start all over; be twenty-one again, work as a cop, maybe get promoted a few times, find a girlfriend, start a family, have a normal life. Why couldn't he have that?

Staying awake night after night, Leon would stare at the ceiling in his bedroom and fantasize about the wonderful life he could've had, the happy memories he could've made. It would make him weep, longing for something that never could've been.

Instead, Leon was stuck with endless images of horror, death, and gore every time he blinked, and oh was he bitter about it all. So bitter, so angry, so...

Feeling sorry for himself was all he could do now. Sure, he killed all those monsters and zombies, saved all those people, not once did he think about himself through the years. Now he had all the time in the world to question and wonder, and having to think about himself and what he wanted most made him feel like a needy, greedy bastard.

But wasn't he allowed to be greedy, if only just a little? He had wants, needs, and though he wanted so desperately to change his past, he knew he couldn't. So, what did he want now? That, he didn't know.

Guilty for feeling this way, guilty for wanting different, guilty for wanting anything good for himself.

It took the better part of those two weeks for Leon to finally muster up some form of energy to stumble into his bathroom and shower one afternoon, dizzy and nauseous. The light emanating from the rest of his house was blinding, not having even bothered to close the shades he had on any of his windows. His room was kept a cave and that's where he stayed.

Leon now found himself sitting down in the shower just like before he'd decided to retire, only this time it was mostly to keep from slipping and dying. The last thing he needed anyone to see was him naked and dead in the shower. Embarrassing.

His thoughts at the moment were shallow, still pretty drunk from his bender, head lulling back and forth a bit as his vision spun. He was finally hungry again, the heat from the shower making that all the more obvious as he grew lightheaded, but he didn't know what he wanted.

After managing to actually crawl his way out of the shower, he dug through the pile of dirty laundry at the end of his bed, finding a pair of boxers that didn't smell too terrible to put on.

Leon used the wall heavily for support to walk out into his kitchen, muttering curses under his breath at just how bright it was. Opening his freezer, he stared at the meal prep containers left by Claire, grabbing one to attempt and read what she'd wrote on the sticky note attached to the lid.

That's right... She made him little meals, even putting them in the freezer so they didn't go bad as fast. All he had to do was put it in the microwave.

Simple enough, he could do that.

The one he chose was meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Just the sound of it had his stomach rumbling and his mind craving the comforting taste of a home cooked meal.

The first few bites in made Leon feel nauseous again, but once those bites hit his stomach the feeling immediately gave way to just how hungry he actually was.

He tried to pace himself, he really did try, yet he managed to devour the food in front of him in a matter of minutes, only pausing every few seconds to breathe. It felt so good, something warm in his stomach. Filling in all the right ways. Once he finished, he pushed the empty container away and just laid his head down sideways on the cool countertop, closing his eyes as he let the food settle.

As much as he wanted to degrade himself for acting this way, reducing himself to such a weird and pathetic state, Leon didn't have the mind to. All he knew right now was that the warmth that the meal Claire made him. Not to sound cliche, but he genuinely believed he could taste the love cooked into it.

For the first time in what was now two and a half weeks, Leon was awake and alert when Chris and Claire came over again. He'd eaten everything Claire made, holding all the now cleaned containers out to her. It was a silent plea for more, and lucky for Leon, she had just made another grocery trip for him.

Unbeknownst to him, Claire had been cooking here at his house. This entire time he thought she'd been bringing the meals over, assumed to be leftovers from cooking for her family. She did confess to hoping the smell of the food cooking would pull him from his room. It didn't, much to her dismay, but now she was just glad he was up and eating again.

As soon as Leon tried to apologize for dragging her away from her family, she was quick to shut him down with that mom stare she'd developed after having her kids. It worked, especially on him.

Chris was busy chatting up Leon while Claire cooked him another set of meals for the next week. It was hard to converse, but Leon did manage to nod and him as the other man talked about some random encounter he had the other day while out driving.

It was strange to feel so lively again. Those thoughts still clung to the back of his mind, though all he could focus on were his friends taking care of him like one of their own. Leon feels like he's been a terrible friend lately, seems as though the siblings standing in his kitchen didn't feel the same. He wasn't showing it, but Leon was definitely holding back a smile.

A couple hours had past, Chris opting to stay with Leon and eat lunch since Claire had to head back and help her husband with something.

The hug Claire gave Leon was phenomenal. After the hug he shared with you he's been craving that physical contact more than ever, so finally getting another good squeeze from a friend was boosting his mood.

Chris and him sat, ate, and talked about whatever came to mind, eventually asking about you.

"How's the painting coming along? Do you like the painter?" He smiled, looking at Leon with wide, curious eyes. That man always had a smile gracing his features.

Leon shrugged, taking a sip from the water he poured himself not too long ago. He was pretty dehydrated after solely drinking alcohol for the past couple weeks. "She's alright. Haven't started the painting yet."

Chris raised an eyebrow, placing his arms on the counter and crossed them as he leaned forward slightly. "Just 'alright'?" he emphasized the word "alright" with air quotes, which caused Leon to scoff.

"What else do you want me to say? I've seen her twice so far and its been fine." Leon lifted his hands up in confusion, palms facing the ceiling as he watched the man sitting next to him rolled his eyes dramatically. "C'mon, she was amazing for Claire and I- Okay, how about this..."

Chris repositioned himself so his entire upper body was facing him now, leaning in a little closer to ask another question. "Do you like the room she works in? Cause I thought it was pretty comfy. When she was focusing on Claire's part of the portrait, I took a nap over on that rug she had. All those pillows mixed with the classical music knocked me the fuck out."

He laughed, shaking his head at memory before looking over at Leon again. "So...? And don't lie to me, I saw that pillow on your couch."

Leon sucked on his teeth and hummed, glancing over his shoulder at his couch. "It's cozy, yeah." He brought his head back forward, patting his hands gently against the counter.

The two chatted for awhile longer before Chris eventually had to leave, giving Leon a firm pat on the shoulder while shaking him a bit. After he left, Leon was left to sit alone and think again, only difference now is he felt better. He was crazy tired, his social battery quickly drained from having his friends around, but he felt good nonetheless.

He wasn't ready at the time, yet after a sober night with solid sleep, Leon woke up the next morning and decided to just text you, hoping you weren't mad at him. Calling would've been too much at that moment, not even have listened to the voicemails you left, or anyone's, for that matter.

His chest felt tight after sending the text, but it was quickly eased about ten minutes later when you responded with nothing but enthusiasm. The smiley face you added at the end of your message made him smile, quickly wiping it away with his hand.

Your next session was arranged two days ahead of time in the late afternoon. Leon wanted to give himself enough time to recollect since he needed to look his best the following weeks. You told him it was time to start with the main painting, which you still needed a picture for.

During that time he finally shaved his stubble, went out and got his hair trimmed, tackled all the laundry he'd neglected, and got his best suit dry cleaned. All thoughts aside, he felt good and wanted to stay this way.

Needless to say, Leon was jittery when he pulled up to your workplace again. He was finally letting himself feel excited again about this painting. If it's anything close to what Chris and Claire's portrait is, then that excitement will only continue to grow the further along you get.

You were already there waiting for him at the door, a gentle smile on your face. That wonderful soft perfume that he missed reaching his nose once more as you lead him up the stairs and through the other door. Chris was right, if he had the opportunity, he'd take a nap on your rug. It looked mighty comfy.

Leon was thankful you didn't ask any questions on his whereabouts, he wasn't ready to talk. You were just as excited as he was about getting the painting started, if not more. Watching you eagerly move back and forth between the larger easel and your desks was a refreshing sight to the man.

You stood at your easel for a couple minutes, just silently looking from the blank canvas to where he was sat. You told him to get into a comfortable position, prompting him rest his right leg on his left knee, leaning back and to the side so he was sitting at a slight angle, arms resting on the chair's armrests.

You stared at him for a few seconds, tilting your head side to side with your eyes squinted. "Let me just-" you spoke in a hushed voice, walking over to Leon before cautiously reaching out to rest one hand on the underside on his chin while the other hovered over the side of his face.

You weren't an idiot, you knew what his absence was from. So you made sure to be careful with him, knowing he was probably still pretty fragile. Only gentle and cautious touches for Mr. Kennedy.

So close yet so far. His skin tingled in your hands wake, and god he hoped you couldn't notice his blush.

You could, but you wouldn't say anything. Besides, you weren't faring well yourself, hands a little shaky as you touched his face.

Leon just let you move his head to whatever position you wanted, his eyes now half-lidded as you had walked back a couple times to get just the right angle. You pulled away for a final time with a small "aha!" and he wished you would hold his head for just a little longer.

The floor where your easel sat was marked with an 'X' made with painter's tape, making it easy for you to stay in the right spot for the photo once you pushed the easel out of the way.

"Don't move." You held your hands up after analyzing his position, quickly hurrying over the corner opposite of your desks to grab a bulky camera that sat atop a tall tripod. You worked as fast as you could, knowing as long as you had a picture with him in this position then this whole process would go so much smoother.

You didn't even have to ask Leon to smile or look up at the camera since he was sitting there with a rather dopey smile, his eyes remaining trained right on yours. Nice and natural. He looked relaxed which is exactly what you wanted.

Just as a precaution, you took multiple pictures, giving him a thumbs up once you figured you'd gotten enough. His head back to rest on the chair at the okay, listening to the sound of you walk over to your laptop after untwisting the camera from the tripod. You printed out 3 copies of the photograph and taped one to a stand you had brought over to sit next to the easel, making sure it sat eye level to you.

The ball was finally rolling, now having what you needed to start with the main sketch. When Leon lifted his head up, he noticed that you were ready, sucking in a sharp breath through his nose while he shifted a little to get back in just the right position.

You twirled your pencil between your fingers before beginning to roughly sketch out the chair, eyebrows furrowing as you focused. Leon could see your expression, how intensely you zoned into your work. It was incredibly admirable and he found himself fully content in just watching you do your thing.

It didn't take long before you had sketched out his general shapes, now walking over to take the sketches you made of his face out of your sketchbook to clip up right next to the reference photo. The more finer details would be added later, but you wanted to get just the basic shapes of his face.

That didn't take long either, because before Leon knew it, you were telling him it was okay to talk. He was pretty animated with his hands when he talked, so you kept him quiet until now.

"Am I easy to draw?" Leon spoke with an almost sultry tone after a few seconds of you telling him he could speak. It threw you off only a bit, carding your fingers through your hair as you took one step back to look at what you had so far.

"I wanna say yes and no." You responded, catching his questioning look from the corner of your eye. "You're easy to sketch out, yes, but your hair is giving me trouble." You could hear a low chuckle rumble from his chest as you stepped back forward. "Hey, you asked." You laughed back.

"I know, I know." He shook his head with a poorly hidden grin, tilting his head down to try and hide it a little better. You immediately pointed your pencil at him, not taking your eyes off the canvas. "I said you could talk, not move." Your sarcastic tone made him chuckle again, slowly lifting his head back up with a sigh.

"Yes, ma'am." You could just hear the smirk in his words, causing you to let out a sigh of your own.

By the time the sun had started to set, you had blocked out all the simple colors for the painting. Right now, it just looked like a very bland and abstract painting. It'll come together, slowly but surely. Trust the process, as people say.

Leon was in awe already, having stood up to look at your progress as you washed your hands over in the small bathroom. Oil paints smeared something fierce and as much as you loved your job, you did not want feel oily at home.

"It already looks stunning." You heard the man say from where he stood in front of the easel. It wasn't quite registering in his brain that it was him on that canvas just yet, but hopefully soon it would.

He wanted to recognize himself in something as wonderful as your art.

[pennycat83]

I've been meaning to ramble about the meaning and plot behind Pink Bitch Club

But I think I finally got the plot! I'm also using another person's comment as they added a perspective to this series I hadn't considered until I re-watched it.

Also y'know watch the series or else this is bullshit.

💔Minako's Room/Gyaru Talk 💔 Both more or less talks about How Minako and Gyaruko are besties. This is very important however as we see Minako eventually kill both Gyaruko and her dog by the end of Minako's Room. The motivation is more or less shown in Gyaru Talk. She's jealous of Gyaruko, we see them both get ready to hang out and watch as Minako mimics certain things Gyaruko does (even her dominate hand, which is supposedly her left, as she's seen struggling applying her makeup unlike Gyaruko). The actual talk they have during the make over is presumably the day Gyaruko died and features snippets of her the assumed moment she died, pleads about how good a friends they are.

💔Pink B**ch Club💔

This is the point where Minako finally snaps and starts imagining a perfect world where she didn't kill Gyaruko (evident with the moment before the chorus). However, there's another layer added to it in the form of Charlotte and VYT. Neither of them are real obviously but I'll get into why and what they are later.

The music video is peak upbeat cutsieness with hints here and there that something isn't right, up until the end where we get the reveal that Minako killed them all, again. We also get a montage of Minako mimicking their fashion styles once again.

This is kinda where a big character revelation comes in the form of the lyrics "The moment I meet you, in the fog that can't be lifted, I can change". Minako's obsessed with being anything but herself. She finds an escapism from her own situation (presumably depression or a psychopathic undertone) and identity in the form of mimicking others. It feels a bit cheap to say 'hence why she's always associated with a broken heart emoji unlike everyone else', but it does fit the idea that she's hollow without something to imitate.

She imitated Gyaruko until she killed her (potentially BECAUSE she just kept copying her until she got called out) and now she keeps doing it to the others.

This isn't where her character ends however.

🖤🧡Chi no Squi/GAL!🧡🖤 Chi no Squi is interesting as it depicts a completely disconnected plot from everyone. As turtleqqqq suggested, what if everyone (aside from Gyaruko) are characters in movies that Minako is so obsessed with she's decided to force herself into the role of a key character in that movie. A character her 'friends' admire and are possibly the love interests of. This is more evident in this video as it shows something akin to a movie where Charlotte gets betrayed and rebels from her religion worshipping the Devil instead, which by the end is shown to be Minako to her (probably missed the implied adultery of her mother leading to her eye getting shot out as well).

As someone else also proposed there's a good chance Charlotte did exist but Minako now sees her more as we do, I disagree though.

GAL is probably the hardest hitting example of this as we Gyaruko as the leader of an all girls Bozozoku. Which just shows how hard Minako is repressing what actually happened to her. She ends up being betrayed by one of members (who was in love with the leader of the gang they were fighting), and being left for dead until she kicks their asses and collapses in the rain, only for Minako to find her and mimmick the opening.

But we already know who Gyaruko is, she was Minako's best friend, who'd probably never even joined a gang before they met. This is just how Minako wants to see her as to not think about what she's done. This applies to all of her friends, in her eyes she's a saint to all of her friends and helps them however she can. Saving them at their lowest points, except for VYT.

💜OTOMEROID💜

This is where my own personal theory comes into play. I don't VYT is is based off any friends of Minako, I think she's the other side of Minako's personality. Her lyrics seem to parallel Minako's in terms of how obsessed she is with understanding love and how robotic she feels. Given how Minako seems to be doing all these actions apathetically it'd fit that some part of her would question why she's so obsessed with this feeling. What adds to it is that VYT IS Minako's maid, not only that but we only see her really reflect on these feelings when Minako's asleep. Meaning that deep down Minako probably knows what she's doing isn't right but can't stop herself at this point.

The 'Update' being the revelation of this that Minako pulls the plug on quickly with the final quip of "She was right". This also explains why her heart was ripped out in Pink Bitch Club. Basically every thing that happens to VYT Minako mentally did to herself.

💔Psychodelic 💔

So by this point Minako's broken herself to the point she's a selfish, obsessive person who wants to be anything but herself. But with Psychodelic we get a slight wrench. Given how the video depicts a lot of repeating imagery before alongside how it's all displayed on a projector, I think Minako might've trapped herself in a slight cycle of reminiscing on the non existent past she used to have with her friends. Or at least trying to remember it whilst her memories of Pink Bitch Club have fully tainted them.

Onigiri Dance

There isn't much to pick up on outside of the fact Minako's animated better than everyone else and she and Gyaru are the only ones in proper angel clothing which also further supports my idea that they're the only real people in the story.

had to update 'n fix my spelling mistakes 'cause I hate seeing misspellings in my work

[milimeters-morales]

quick disorder / disability hcs under da cut for my own hyperspecific chatfic (💔). they all need glasses by default bc of the spider bites but the teens won’t truly need them until their late twenties

miles: autism + gad (always downplaying it) + ptsd (unaware) though he is like. cptsd can be developing just from the shit he’s doing as spider-man.? does that make sense hold on. okay yes. he is making it worse for himself.

gwen: adhd (denying) + cptsd (unaware) + dyslexia + chronic wrist and ankle pain (reason she gave up ballet but still tries it)

margo: autism + depression (denying) + some sort of anxiety issues from her sheltered upbringing and spider stuff

hobie: bpd + autism + cptsd (unaware of all) (unrelated but he’s intersex as well but not entirely aware of this, i was considering PAIS but i might just leave it up to reader so they can project)

pavitr: autism + adhd + cptsd (unaware of all, last will also cause insomnia to a degree i haven’t decided but will become a huge problem for him) (this mostly relies on my made up backstory for him)

ganke: adhd + already has pretty bad eyesight (extremely nearsighted) + i’m thinking anemia ? maybe only during his period? also look into that thing where taking T just makes you produce more blood or whatever, i could probably connect all this

comics miguel: ocd + autism + reactive hypoglycemia + cptsd (unaware of first three rn, wont do much diving into his traumas bc he thinks “acknowledged = done with it”?)

peter b: autism (not entirely convinced) + depression (recovering) + chronic back/feet pain. maybe during the pregnancy he had gestational diabetes? not sure i’m even gonna focus that much on the adults in this fic that much to the point where this comes up. besides “haha comic miguel is going to burn the building down if he has to send more emails” moments

SHITTT WAIT. is that bad to make the character i hc to have ocd the “fixer” of the spider society and turning it into like a true volunteer / community space. no right. i’m overthinking that. if that was the case the i would be making it his whole personality and making everyone involved in like general maintenance of the place have ocd. yeah okay it’s fine you aren’t an awful dude. 🙏🏾🎊 WELL IDK. JUST BE CAREFUL BRO

other characters that show up (like comic miles) aren’t gonna get hcs besides what i briefly mention… like being polyamorous or disliking a food .. peni is a special case bc i truly don’t get her no matter what . like she feels just out of reach and i have no idea why so i won’t have her in the gc but will still be present in the story #realism

[ninetqs]

in your lestappen a/b/o au,,,, does max try to babytrap sharl?😳😳 is he maborting that thang straight away? 😔😔

can he leave him or is that contract like fully binding?

always thinking about that fic trust 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

also charles did well this weekend I'm so happy we finally got a kind of good look at him in the wet and considering the situation (what the fuck was that race) and the state of the car I'm very happy with what I saw ur so sexy mouseman

now onto the plane documentary ☀️

hope ur feeling better ♥️

max would do the opposite of babytrap charles in that au. i think if charles got knocked up somehow (despite being on birth control or whatever) max would ask him to get an abortion 😭 because 1. a baby would take charles' attention away from Him, and 2. he is not ready to be a dad he has more wdcs to win

charles could leave if he wants i don't see red bull as being so evil that if charles screamed about how depressed he is they'd be like well too bad. also just from max's pov if charles hated him that much max wouldn't want to be around him either. a huge reason why he likes charles is because he thinks charles likes him back, the affection is important to him. as opposed to a fic where they're both drivers and the competition can be part of why they're attracted to each other, that doesn't exist in this au where charles isn't racing

and yes charles did very well. i fear he isn't getting the praise he deserves especially for his defence against max but that's okay 💔 at least WE know

[carnivorousyandeere]

SFW Alphabet: Cyrus

CW: Depression, mentions of death and violence

Idk why this ended up so angsty, sorry everybody. Cyrus has a lot of… unresolved issues.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Cyrus is the werewolf who wants alone time with you the most. He really likes just sitting with you in silence, out in nature or in his room, just peacefully doing your own things. Cyrus is also content to just sit and listen to you talk about anything and everything, though~💕

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Hmmm, a friendship could spark if you crossed paths on a hiking trail, or if you were lab partners in class and you pulled your weight in the assignment. Cyrus is pretty quiet and shy, even as good friends, but you’ll be able to get a good sense of his likes and dislikes anyway. He’s also not the best at verbal comforting and such, but he’ll bring you gifts to try and comfort you when you’re feeling down, and maybe even offer a hug.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cyrus is the shyest of the group when it comes to nonsexual, prolonged physical contact. You’ll have to start small and slow, with hand holding and sitting side-by-side, then working your way up to more tender and intimate cuddles. After that point, he’ll be comfortable to sleep next to you, and sometimes even cuddle you while sleeping 🥹💕

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Cyrus can’t cook to save his soul, but he at least makes a mean smoothie! Cyrus is pretty good at cleaning when he has the energy for it, but to be honest he often ends up with the classic “depression nest.” (Mood 💀). 

He does like the idea of settling down with you and becoming more comfortable with casual domesticity with you. He likes to daydream about growing old with you.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Cyrus… Cyrus would feel kind of resigned about it. Like it was bound to happen, like you were always going to leave him, like he didn’t deserve you anyway and it was stupid of him to think he did. He’s not the kind of person to say that out loud to guilt you into staying (he does consider it though…). He would actually let you leave. Cyrus would guiltily continue to stalk you from afar, but unlike many of my other yanderes, he probably wouldn’t make another move to win you back directly (although sabotaging new friends and partners IS on the table) and would just stew in his jealousy of anybody else in your life, emotionally self-flagellating, forever.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Cyrus would love to get married to you in a few years’ time, but it feels like a dream that’s out of reach, so he tries not to dream about it at all. There’s no way you’d actually say yes, after all… 💔

When you do get married, he’ll tear up seeing you at the altar, and saying your vows to one another 🥹💕

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Cyrus is gentle 90% of the time, his touches generally shaky and hesitant. He’s also very careful emotionally, perhaps too careful even, never wanting to make you sad or uncomfortable. The other 10% of the time physically is if he gets, well, horny. Then he can be more desperate and aggressive (but still within reason– he won’t do anything you don’t want him to).

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Cyrus has a love-hate thing with hugs. He won’t initiate them, for fear of overstepping bounds or being socially inappropriate. If you give him a quick hug that’s fine. If you give him a long hug in public, he starts to feel claustrophobic and nervous. If you give him a long hug in private and allow him to feel vulnerable, he’ll cling to you and maybe even cry? Therapeutic.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He’s one of the werewolves that takes the longest to say it. When he does, it’s shaky, unsure, hesitant– not really expecting you to respond well to his confession. It takes a long time for him to truly believe it when you say you love him too… ❤️‍🩹

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Cyrus gets really jealous, but he’s the type to isolate himself and sulk about it, while beating himself up for not being good enough to “deserve” your attention. He will move behind the scenes to sabotage whoever is coming between the two of you, and might even resort to premeditated murder over it– preferring poisons over bloodier methods.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Cyrus likes kissing your chest, over your heart. His kisses are generally very soft and chaste, careful. Cyrus likes it when you kiss him anywhere, but especially his neck.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Cyrus is alright with kids. He’s very gentle and patient with them; rambunctious kids might stress him out, though, and he won’t be sure how to interact with them. Also, the younger the kids are, the more lost he is about how to talk to and interact with them. If you hand him a baby he will be so nervous. “Am I holding it right? Is- oh, oh no, why is it crying?” He didn’t grow up with siblings.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Cyrus takes a long time to wake up fully, going in and out of sleep as dawn breaks and morning comes, without an alarm. Usually, though, he likes to set an alarm to wake up before dawn and go out to watch the sunrise. It’s a very peaceful, calm time of the day, without many other people around. If you like that, he’ll bring you with him, as long as you can be still and peaceful with him just for that period of time. It’s fine if you’re rambunctious the rest of the day though <3

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

At night, Cyrus is the kind of person who ends up staring at the ceiling and overthinking. If you’re there with him, he’ll want to talk with you instead. It’s like a sleepover, where everybody’s stayed up too late and the tone gets serious all of a sudden, and then you’re talking about religion and philosophy and your greatest fears and– oh, the other person just started snoring. Oops 😅😂

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Cyrus is not open about himself. He’s got a lot of self-esteem issues and assumes that everyone else will dislike him as much as he dislikes himself. As he becomes more comfortable with you, this will slowly change, and you’ll get to see more and more of his genuine self.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Cyrus didn’t always have a hair-trigger temper, but since being turned it’s like all of his feelings are magnified and very hard to keep under control. He’s definitely lost his temper and hurt or tried to hurt people in the meantime, but the guilt really keeps him up at night. If he ever seriously injured someone in a rage, he would have a panic attack and throw up right then and there as soon as the rage wore off. If he lets his anger simmer slowly, though, he can be much more intentionally ruthless than you might expect.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Cyrus remembers everything about you, and although he won’t forget anything, he also has a secret notebook dedicated to you juuuust in case. It contains information about you, poetry he writes while thinking of you, and detailed drawings of you. He WILL disintegrate on the spot if you ever find it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time he gets to spend time alone with you, without any of the other werewolves butting in or feeling the need to “supervise” the two of you– AKA, to make sure that you two aren’t gonna make a break for it.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Cyrus is 0-100 and will go into blackout rages if he thinks you’re in danger. He’ll come to, threat eviscerated, and then throw up and cry, but he won’t regret what he’s done. As long as you’re safe, anything is worth it. It kills him inside if you see that, though, and are scared of him afterwards. He would never, EVER, hurt you, sunshine, please stop crying– stop running– please-!

He doesn’t really want you to have to protect him physically, but if you protect him emotionally and maybe guide him in social situations, that really warms his heart. And his face hehe~💕

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Cyrus puts in a lot of effort into all of these, but also tries to obscure the effort he puts in for fear of coming off as overbearing and making you uncomfortable.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Hmmmm, probably isolating himself in response to almost everything? Hard to call it a “bad habit,” when it’s probably a trauma response of some kind, though;;; sorry;;;

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

So-so; he likes keeping his hair neat and tidy, and making sure his clothes are neat too, but he’s not super interested in fashion or anything like that. Even his embroidery habit stems more from practicality first (mending), and stress reliever second (doing interesting designs). He does have a good time going thrifting though :)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Cyrus would feel aching, gnawing emptiness forever, without you by his side. It’s like he’s cold and hollow, unable to really interact with the world around him anymore. He’ll talk to people and can answer questions, but it’s like his gaze is permanently elsewhere.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Cyrus was an environmental sciences major in college before getting bitten by Hunter in an accident. He still loves hiking and just being in nature. He also has a talent for sketching plants, and a hobby for hand-stitching designs in his clothes. His favorite color is green 🌱💚🌲

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

This might sound weird, but Cyrus will actually get really uncomfortable if you’re too nice and friendly to him right out the gate. It’s not a dealbreaker, but he’ll just take even more time to warm up to you (ironically, as I’m sure your intention in being kind was not to keep him at arm’s length). This is part of the initial slip-up between Mateo and Cyrus; Mateo has a crush on Cyrus and wants to get closer to him, but came off just a little too saccharine-sweet out of the gate and set off Cyrus’ avoidant tendencies. He’s trying to bridge that gap but it takes time and patience to get Cyrus used to being treated so kindly.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Cyrus sleeps in green and black plaid pajama pants and a t-shirt with a ton of heavy blankets and quilts. He also tends to prefer sleeping alone, with the exception of you. And maybe, eventually, Mateo will manage to worm his way into his heart and bed as well 🥹❤️

[ohsocheesiness]

Played both Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom Liberty Endings

Both are super good in my opinion for V, Reed, and So Mi. Needed somewhere to post my thoughts.

My Natural Instinct

I did not trust So Mi at all, bro. Even from the beginning.. the thing with the chimera was suspect. Disappearing like that after I saved myers... idk bro. However, I do empathize with her circumstances. She's stuck somewhere where she's being abused. She's dying and she just wants to be free.

Don't trust Myers, but seemed the type to keep her end of the deal.

I didn't necessarily trust Reed either, but I believed in him. A man of principle who stuck by his team and country even if they did him dirty. I felt like So Mi only fake cared about me, but I felt like Reed truly did care about me and my life. He saw V as another of his comrads to protect. However, I knew it was his government that he'd unfortunately follow till his wheels deteriorated.

Following Reed

I believed that Reed 100% wanted to help So Mi escape. I told So Mi I only kind of trusted her and that I think Reed wants what's best for her.

Gameplay wise I think it's cool that following the FIA turned into a freaking horror survival game lmfao. I love the secret agent style shit in PL

Anyway, only in this ending do we learn that ROGUE AI are basically attacking her and using her as a fucking link to the physical world through the real net. She mentioned she felt like somebody was over her shoulder her whole time. It was THEM. I wonder what Alt would've had to say about it if I asked her tbh.

In the end though, there was a great moment with So Mi who was at her end. I had a save point and played out both instances if I killed her or if I let Reed take her. I don't really remember what my first instinct was to do... but after knowing both endings it would've been best just to kill her and give her freedom man. However, saving her gives us a bit more to Reed's character.

Reed is freaking depressed bro lmfao. He is the one keeping so mi in chains. He is the one locked in chains. He knows he's just a dog, enslaved to ideals he doesn't think truly matters, but it's all he has. The only thing he can do is lean into it, despite knowing it's flaws. "All that matters is that So Mi is still living." I think that's why Reed never comes suicide despite seeming so empty, he's strong enough to carry everything.. it's his duty even.

Ofc I accepted the offer to save my life, it made sense to me that they could really help and that Reed would do right by me.

FUCKING HURT ME that Johnny had to get destroyed so abruptly like that. I know he didn't want it. He accepted it though, his true death. Just Rogue and V being his last remnants of life in NC.

If you tell Reed thanks, he says something like "there's nothing to thank me for, V" and leaves, head hung down. Another life Reed took and ruined. Got So Mi on life support, enslaved by Myers, Alex killed, V some kind of wonky life so different than before. Coma for 2 years.

Also my Panam romance 💔💔💔💔 damnit! Panam is definitely the type to fucking be done with it cause she thinks I broke her heart but dang. Wish somebody would've went through my contacts and gave them the heads up 😐 but I LOVE what happened to Judy after this. She deserved the peace man. She's such a cool homie if you guys are platonic.

Following So Mi

I tried to play a lot more empathetic with So Mi and her circumstances, instead of just it being mutually beneficial. V was the only one who can understand what was happening to her.

& Since I played this second, I felt guilty asking her to use the black wall to hack shit and kill people while we were escaping from Hansen's spot. It's lowkey best to play this ending as a netrunner. You help So Mi a lot more directly.

So Mi is really just like V, kind of. She just wants to live, so she'll betray and lie to her friends and simply just have to feel bad about it afterwards. For the most part, V won't sell out to a corp, but So Mi kind of sold out her friends. Her character flaw I guess.

This is also the only ending where a diologue option will tell you MR BLUE EYES is the one who contacted her for NUSA info and hooked her up with a deal to get to the moon! This is the only time i remember hearing about him before you do the Sun ending. He definitely a major player in the next game and there's something he's trying to do involving space. Which is why i assume he sends V on a mission to the crystal palace.

Anyway, So Mi eventually reveals that she was lying to me the whole time. She knew it was only a one use kind of deal.... prick. But I told her I would've helped her anyway if she just told me.. which maybe I would've tbh.

I carried her to the rocket thing. Reed was waiting for you. You two are at odds now and he means business. He lowkey tries to butter you up about protecting So Mi, but call him on his bullshit. Then he switches up, he wants to take care in to answer for her crimes. I said I didn't want to have to shoot him. He said "neither do i" 🥹 but yea I popped his ass after he gave me no choice. In a certain regard I was happy he found peace. Killing reed is the best thing to do in this ending 100%

You hook So Mi in the rocket to the moon and talk with Johnny as you two watch her go into space. Real.

Wait long enough you get a mysterious message to go find a package. The package has evidence that So Mi is alive on the moon. Very cool! She lives in this ending. And she's free. I was actually super happy about that tbh.

Also with this ending, Alex lives. PL tried to give you a relationship with her... in the ending where she dies I was sad about it but got over it. In this ending where she lives you get another chance to chat with her. She calls you up to the bar and basically wants to ask about Reed's last moments and to say goodbye. I really liked Alex's character and appreciated this goodbye.

A while after this, you get a postcard on your megabuilding apartment door from Morocco. Alex is free too. A very good ending. Now it's up to V to find out how to survive (lol)

Which is better?

You get to see into So Mi's past with the first ending. First hand. You get some conversations with Reed that give him more depth, but So Mi either dies or might as well have died. Reed lives on avoiding his very clear regret, but may have found purpose. If you choose to take the help here V becoming just another face in the crowd... a bit of a shame if you played into the 'become a night city legend' but kind of deep and real considering now he has a new life, but had to go through a lot and lose a lot on the way.

With the second ending, Alex and So Mi live & them and Reed are free from being dogs to the NUSA government. You get your farewells... at least somebody gets a happy ending. With this, you also get your farewell with Johnny in one of the base endings. You can digest the weight of a life and choosing your own way to go. There's some moments in this, the conversations inbetween, in big fights, hand in hand with So Mi that make this worth while. Digesting it all with Johnny means a lot too.

So idk

[the-ace-with-spades]

this feels almost a little stalkery to write, but i just realized you haven't posted anything in a while - i always enjoyed your posts in my feed. Hope you're doing well off-tumblr and wish you an awesome New Year! 🌟

Hi there and late Happy New Year to you (and anyone who reads this) 🎉✨

This is not stalkery at all - it's actually really nice...🥹

In short, the past two months ve been awful irl for me, winter pressure in nursing is horrendous and as someone who works in ED/neuro ICU I'm just too tired for much most days. My health's been shite since cluster headaches are back and my adhd/depression are all-time high, and there's been some other shite going on in my partner's family, I just don't have much energy for the online stuff

I pop here from time to time when I have a slower time (like rn) but don't do much, it's all just piling up in my inbox/drafts/etc and I'm incredibly sad (and feeling a bit guilty) b/c tumblr is my fav place online and fandom people are so dear to my lil heart 💔

Probably gonna make a longer ramble-y post about it all soon-ish, sort out some posts, etc since I'm finally starting to get back on my feet, I'm in the process of switching to EMT (got the job finally!) and also doing my ambo driver training which just makes the hours at work add up

I'll be back with my crappy posts, promise, and I'll get most of my shit in order, I just need a minute...

[theseeingsage]

almost doesn’t count 💔

love message

aries leo sagittarius • smrv

there is an ex lover in your energy that is stuck with memories of you & this connection. they are nostalgic of the past & this is leading to them feeling a sense of anxiety & stress. they are wondering if you even still want them & the thought of you rejecting them is causing depression & panic attacks. they are restless because they see you as their life partner, the person they want a family with. they seem to be stuck at a crossroads, not really knowing which path to take. they may have had multiple options in the past which led to indecisive actions, yet they have reached a turning point & feel as if this is meant to be. they see you as a destined encounter & though they may not be very religious, this has them feeling as if a Higher Power truly does exist. whatever distance currently separates you will begin to close soon, as they are ready to travel towards you or even take you on a getaway vacation. your boundaries have made them realize just how much they want & need this. they are currently watching your social media accounts trying to make sure nobody else your attention, yet it’s kinda hard because you aren’t posting much of your personal life. you yourself now have multiple options & aren’t in a hurry to pick one. in the past, you felt as if you were constantly fighting for this person’s love & affection & all that came from it was further confusion & deception. you are in an energy of doing what’s pleasing to your soul & your soul only. you know what you deserve & are worthy of. you are going after what is rightfully yours, a love that is relaxing & restoring, & allows you to rest without the constant worry of betrayal & pain. you are in an energy of allowing the things that are meant for you to be magnetized towards you. after a period of fighting & seeking things to give you happiness, you now know that anything that’s really for you won’t require too much effort. you have prayed for your healing & your faith in the unknown is paying off. you wished upon a star & whatever comes next, whether it’s with this person or not, it will be a dream come true. the choice is ultimately yours. take your time & access each potential path with care.

signs & synchronicities:

under 6ft, initials (first middle last) b e i p s t, sagittarius season, started new job, cancer season, we can’t be friends x deborah cox, august virgo, april taurus, 3rd party karmic, capricorn season, over 5ft, pisces season, residuals x chris brown, freckles, april aries, been away x brent faiyaz, scorpio season, july leo, initials (first middle last) m o r u x, have you ever x brandy

[maccreadysbaby]

hiii (≧▽≦)/, sorry for bothering you i just aaa, im normally a silent reader type (bc talking to ppl makes me anxious) but smth bout that last chapter got me like akjsdhfakjsflh (im def gonna like regret this later when im overthinking b4 bed lmao)

Σ(°ロ°)I was NOT expecting that to happen at all like the plot twist ajsdfhasljkfa, i was so ready to cry my heart out for that angst T^T </3 (i'm srry but i love angst sm, like. it just hits different ya know?) and omg bentley's call for help,,, when jason's life was in the hands of the joker ajsdfhkjasdhfka

ඞ amongus askjdfhasjf im so srry, the game's ruined the word imposter for me lol u got me imagining scenarios n shii bro (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄) bro, jason being the first one to find bentley and trying to save bentley bc no one saved him</3 and he's trying and trying to put pressure on bentley's wounds but blood is still like pouring out, bentley slowly losing conciousness. jason telling bentley to focus on him bc he's not going to die today and he's trying to keep bentley awake (╥﹏╥) telling bentley that help is coming soon, that he's going to be okay, and maybe having a conversation to try and keep bentley awake

brooo i could see like that one meme when batman finds them bentley: was i a good son? bruce: no. bruce: you were the best :,)

and like bentley dying in his arms w a smile on his face because's he's finally found his found family and has people that love him for once in his life bruce losing another son and him feeling like a failure of a father for not protecting bentley :< but i could also see him having like a dilemma w like bentley breaking his one rule: no killing even though that's what saved everyone in the end and like the loss of another son and he doesn't know what to feel (b isn't v good w dealing w his emotions)

aaa and after bentley's death, dick hides his emotions behind a mask, trying to cheer up everyone one (っ ᵔ◡ᵔ)っ and like making the atmosphere less sadge :( bc he feels like that's what bentley would have wanted(?) bc he's always looking out for the fam and trying to make things better? srry i suck at explaing aaa

then damien, oh damien, just right after they fixed things between them :( i feel like his griefing process = anger. he's just a little bottle of anger that's filled to the very top and any little thing sets him off. he's angry at himself, he's angry at black and white hair mans, he's angry at like,,, everything ヽ( `д´*)ノ

:( timmy going through like shock, denial(?maybe), anger, depression and goes into a state where he's neglecting his health because he's so focused on avenging bentley's death by trying to find everyone responsible and putting them behind bars

srry for bothering u. gosh, i just. i love ur writing sm, the way u write,,, like it's so, i can practically see the scenes happening in my mind. i reread both books twice while waiting for chap 43 to drop lol

(ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ :｡･::･ﾟ’★,｡･::･ﾟ’☆I hope u have a great day/night! and that both sides of ur pillow r cold, ur charger to work at every single angle, and never ever stub your toe again<3 ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡ [hope this didn't sound/look too cringe. i luv emoticons lol >:3]

omg this made me so happy🥹🥹🥹🥹 I can’t even. I love how you talked about the family after Bentley’s death💔

thank you so much for your love and support it means the absolute world, also don’t be afraid to talk to me haha! I’m about as scary as a marshmallow lmao

[shytastemakerthing]

heyyy can i get a romantic matchup? ID REALLY LIKE AN ENSTARS ONE but if u dont do those, a twst one is good :3

im kitten, i dont use pronouns (so just use my name). i dont use labels either, but im feminine. im 17 (so nobody younger than me pls!!), currently in IT classes, 162cm, virgo and entp/intp. also 8w9

umm Im a vampirekin and have a strong affiliation w rabbits and cats. i can be really blunt (sometimes i dont mean it sometimes i do) and am pretty aggressive. i love play-fighting w friends and getting into joke arguments nd stuff.

i hate hatee having 2 give advice like I cant deal w ppl venting 2 me. I can b rude Mostly jut since if i dont like you 4 whatever reason Im not going to hide it Im just not going 2 Be nice. Cuz of this I dont get approached a lot bc ppl say i look mad/intimidating a lot!!!

VERY umm bimbo oriented. very clumsy, Very bad memory and attention span, But who cares I love acting cute and acting pretty and stuff. I love cute things tbhgd sm and I just want 2 squeeze. Cute ppl. As a bimbo i still Have my days 💔where im just Depressed man and Thats most days. but i am good at Just Living and Not acting like that..! Tho when im Very bad w mental health I tend 2 just get sick and not leave my bed and just cut everyone off LOLL

Any ways I love fashion and dressing cute and DESIGNING CLOTHES!!!! I love designing plushies and characters and stuff I need like a creative output and I have 34983 ways of that (designing plushies, characters, outfits ect. sewing, vtuber rigging, sculpting, painting, ect). i usually dress in v-kei, gyaru (kogal), ouji and lolita.

i love any love languages recieving tbh Maybe like words of affirmation I need lots of reminding that they R a willing participant of this Relationship. PERSONALLY i lvoe spending time and doing acts of service, im rlly Not an affectionate person so im probably not going to initiate physical contact and Im RLLY bad with words so im not probably going to do words of affirmation either .......

Hmmmm what else I love music. so much different types. breakcore, classical, eurobeat, game osts, pop rock, industrial metal, esp anything super weird and experimental.

jut stuff i likee would be active cities, being clean, good food, nighttime, CATS AND BUNNIES, pigeons<3, (i want to own a pet cat, bunnies and a pigeon lol), collecting things and baking

i DISLIKE dogs (despite being pretty dog-aligned by personality), my room having any sun in it, dirty/messy/gross ppl. i hatee violence sm I get uncomfortable hearing or seeing ppl/animals get hurt Its just gross and scary.

abt relationships ... I will die for my Partner i will straight up Fight someone for them. idc if they r bad person or if They did a crime rlly Thats so girlboss of them . I want to go out a lot on dates and stuff I dont wanna just go to the same places I want 2 explore and go to new places nd stuff. also Ermmm i dont rlly wanna Date someone shorter thn me Like. They just look like a child at that point..

thx :3 sawrry i wrote a lot lolz. lolll tyy So muh

A/N: Hello and thank you for your request! Don't worry about it being so long, the more information that I have to work with then the better! It only lets me get even more ideas for a match-up! Speaking of, I do hope that you like yours and enjoy!

Tw: None

I match you with.........

Ritsu Sakuma

From one vampire to another, you both are quite literally made for each other in that regard. He sees you and he can feel warmth flooding through his ice cold veins, how the moonlight illuminates your figure makes you look just ethereal. He is stunned into silence but soon regains himself and Ritsu can't help but to approach you.

Now given his sleeping patterns, it is a little hard for the both of you to meet up for any kind of outings, these would mostly be happening later in the evening and into the night given his aversion to sunlight, but he manages to work his schedule just right between his unit work and when he sleeps. He will always make time for you.

Another cat lover! Perhaps the both of you would like to go to a cat cafe for one of your dates? It would be something that he would find both enjoyable and relaxing, especially if you get to be there with him.

His schedule is quite busy sometimes given the work he has with his unit, Knights, but if you would like, you could always join him when they have practices and lives. Honestly, the thought of you being in the crowd and cheering him on makes this young vampire smile.

Speaking of his unit, the others absolutely adore you and they protect their own, and given that they now see you as one of their own, they will protect you just as you protect Ritsu. It is what a Knight does, after all.

Ritsu is big on giving you those words of affirmation. He may not be too much of a talker, and he really isn't that down on himself, but he would never want you to be down on yourself. He wants you to know that he is committed to this relationship no matter what it takes.

Overall, two vampires are able to join each other under the light of the moon. It is something that he will always love. With your similar interests and hobbies, it just makes the time that you spend with one another so much better and so much sweeter.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I JUST FINISHED EPISODE FOUR AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Well technically I didn't JUST finish it I had to stressed-ly pace around my house for three minutes first xd

And then stare at a picture of an otter which was blessedly the first thing on my dash

Uh anyway :')

OVEIAIWNOHWNZLFKSMSHDBWKABWIDBAUWCNSMLQEZ????!?!!!? SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING THROWING UP!!?!???!?!!!!!

SEB HOW COULD YOU D O THIS TO ME??? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO CARLOS?? MY BABY I LOVE YOU BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭 GIVE ME A CIRCUMSTANCE SEB I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LIKE DID SOMEONE KISS YOU AND WE'RE CALLING THAT IT BECAUSE IF IT NEVER GETS EXPLAINED THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING WITH AND I CAN MAKE WHATEVER I WANT CANON THANK YOU VERY MUCH

ALSO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN SEB YOU CAN'T LIE AND YOU WENT TO CAMP THE SECOND TO LAST DAY

AND JARRED???!?!!!!? SIR WHAT ARE YOU D O I N G HER!????!!?!!!

Okay I'm genuinely struggling to breathe a tiny bit so I'mma take a second lol

Okay I'm back :) did some breathing and a physical exercise to work some of this out lol

Anyway as soon as Seb said he had something to tell Carlos I got SUPER nervous and I was pausing so much but as soon as I started to say it and I saw the subtitles I literally screamed and his for like 3 minutes straight 😭 xd. Y'all I am living my worst life right now lol xd.

WHEN I ASKED FOR SEBLOS ANGST THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!!

But uh anyway I knew Seb was in a knight outfit (boy we had no idea what that promo pic meant 😭) so I was wondering if the pumpkin was someone he sent or MAYBE him, and then I was thinking a) it's Big Red (especially after interrupting Ashlyn and Maddox around the time I was thinking this) b) it's the person Seb cheated with or c) it's both (awful, worst possible option for anything about this situation). And THEN I was like okay so Jarred, is this the dancer, an ex, the guy he cheated with, or both Carlos's ex AND the guy Seb cheated with. Luckily it's just the dancer xd. Not great news, still, but, you know lol.

Frankie wasn't lying when he said these first few episodes were an episode of Housewives 😭

Boy those episodes really can Housewives 😭 xD

Anyway, uhh, I was depressed in the first half but hoping they'd talk and just not come to a total understanding yet, but then by the end I was screaming throwing up losing my mind :) also I'm pretty sure we don't get Seb next episode so :') because now I need to watch HIM beg lol, even it out xD

Also if we don't get Over Again till the last or second to last episode I freaking swear-

ANYWAY! This is not just a seblos post XD. This is an episode four post lol.

Rina is going THROUGH IT 😭😭. I gotta say Ricky I think you should make it clear that Miss Jenn wanted to switch Dani in lol, not you xd. And I also wish they'd both managed to tell each other about the various situations 😬. When Mack first mentioned it I thought Ricky overheard and I went o.o but xd. Also I know you were in front of everyone but Gina why didn't you just explain the mom thing DD:. Poor Ricky he's going through it for real :((. And with college and everything too :'( D':. Anyway they were cute for a bit this episode and they slayed but xdd 😭. I love them <33.

ASHLYN GIRLLL WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGG!!! Like lowkey 👀👀👀👀 but also girl Big Red 😭😭💔. Unless it was him and Seb in which case I don't think I or this friend group would ever recover but also idk if there would be a need to escalate nonetheless lol- aUAGH ESCALATE THAT REMINDS ME OF SEB-

Whoops sorry lol 🤪 that was so crazy wild 😌

Anyway :D that SONG THOUGHHH!! It was a bop :DD!!! Also not Ashlyn crying when she thought Maddox wasn't okay 😭😭😭💔. Y'all I'm not okay, thank you very much <333

And 😬😬 there's confirmation that Mad and Mad are down - or, as Maddox said lol, bad xd. Sorry guys :(((

Kourtney honey DD:. I swear that's how I start her part every episode XD. At least it's not multiple y's on either word this time lol. Anyway, I'm glad she went out 🥰🥰. I was scared she'd just stay in :((. But while she's CLEARLY stressing, I'm so happy she went to the party and had fun with them :D. And I do think she should look outside of Ivy Leagues, I think something will definitely come from that in some way :).

And speaking of Kourtney SLFKGFJSHDK JET!!! Man is trying his best but it was HILARIOUS lol xDD. Also his moment with Ricky was great xD. But seriously my guy, nice, smooth lol xd. ~Fabric~. Also, little sus over there calling Mack and Ricky hot one after the other xDD. Anyway lol. Also it's really sweet that he helped Maddox with the prank to make it up to her :')) 🥰❤️. I love them so much your honor, thank you very much <3. Another point to that is Maddox's reaction to Ashlyn saying Emmy probably has a crush on him lol xD.

Miss Jenn DD:. I'm sorry honey :((. I'm sorry to Ricky's dad too, he's been great this season DD':. And he's such a MOOD too lol xD. But yeah, honestly, they just don't work great together :'//. And I mean I've wanted them to break up but it was still sad :'( 😭 and I didn't wanna see it I didn't deserve it xD. But nah I'm glad we saw it lol, it's for the best. I'll miss y'all though <33. But not too much xD. Oh and her scene with Ricky and the end was amazing :'DD. I think she's calling Mr. Mazzaraaaa? Idk but I think so and anyway I really loved the scene :'D. Also slay costume lol.

Slay costume EVERYONE y'all were all amazing :DD!!! Everyone slayed so hard they brought the house down 🥰🥰❤️😍🤩✨🥰.

Missing you EJ, Mr. Mazzara, Nini, and Emmy :)). Love you guys <333. Though from the picture on the next episode bit after finishing episode four it looks like EJ's gonna be in the next one :O!!! We love that for us :DD!!!

Anyway yeah xD. Everyone's going through it lol. But I hate to break it to you guys, Carlos is going through it more 😭 xD. Like y'all his boyfriend's been icing him out supposedly because he thinks Carlos cheated on him and when he's finally willing to talk Carlos finds out that Seb cheated on him, and that the lowkey creepy person who bothered him a bit during the night was the person he was accused of, in a documentary that was streamed world wide, is there and wants to be with him. Just. Wow xd. Leave this man ALONE!! Like in the angst department 😭. I mena I love it but come on xdd. Anyway lol!! They seriously are all going through it though lol xD.

Anyway!! This episode was absolutely AMAZING and I loved and despised it :DD. How could you do this to me :')). The music was amazing (y'all that first song was SO FREAKING COOL!!! I loved it it was wild :DDD)!! Both songs were so good, and COMPLETE opposites lol. Despite partially being about the same thing xD. Like storyline wise lol (as in at least a bit about Ashlyn and Maddox being sus). Anyway! The drama was off the CHARTS and it was just a really good episode all around :)). I did genuinely enjoy it lol xdd. Still though, I am going to kill someone <3. I don't know who, but somebody :) xd. And Carlos is death so he's in on it, he'll help me with it lol.

Anyway xD. It was great. I am so freaking scared for the next episode and episodes, thank you :')). But SO EXCITED!! Still dying though lol <333.

NEXT UP IS EPISODE FIVE!!!

[outoutdamnspark]

‘Spark Writes’ Masterlist

Emoji Code:

🔞🍋 = smut/sexual themes (#lemon zest)

🔞🎃 = gore/violence/blood (#pumpkin guts)

💔 = themes of depression/grief/trauma/death/suicidal ideation

💖 = hurt/comfort

(Note: any ‘Submas x Reader’ or ‘Submas x OC’ is strictly Emmet x ??? x Ingo. Absolutely no blankshipping. Blank and proshippers DNI!)

Fics

◇ Ursa Major; Ursa Minor (Submas. in-progress)

(PLA. platonic a/b/o. found family. protective papa Ingo & pup Akari)

-> Ch.1: Dread

-> Ch. 2: Trepidation

◇ Watching the Earth Rise (Submas. in-progress)

(Age Gap Au. SilverFox!Emmet x oc Reina Kageyama)

-> Lost and Found (drunken late night love confessions) 💔

-> Cerulean (a walk home together)

--

Drabbles 

~x reader (no ocs) ~

◇ Drops of Rain on Foggy Glass (slasher!submas. Emmet x Reader) 🔞🍋

(’pt.2: Ingo’ currently canceled.)

◇ Marked (succubus!Ingo. Ingo x Reader) 🔞🍋

◇ Tender (for dvdclown) (Ingo x Reader. fluffy)

◇ Human (robo!submas. Submas x Reader) 💔

◇ My Heart in Your Hands (hivemind!submas. Ingo x Reader) 💔💖

~feat. ocs~

◇ Holy (for peachsodama) (Emmet x oc Pecha) 🔞🍋

◇ Promise (for bubblymilkgalaxy) (Warden Ingo x oc Sugi. pre-romance)

◇ 2am (for nc-eikin) (oc Reina & oc Mari) 💔

◇ Tease (for m4ster-ball) (oc Hina x oc Dorian) 🔞🍋

◇ Smoke Rings (for peachsodama) (oc Reina & centiskotch!oc Pecha) 💔💖

◇ *Smooch!* (for bellafragolina) (oc Reina x oc Ren)

◇ Strange Neighbors (for peachsodama) (oc Reina & centaskorch!oc Pecha)

◇ Mistletoe (for peachsodama) (oc Reina; oc Hina x oc Pecha)

◇ Bite (for r0-boat) (oc Cole x Reader) 🔞🍋

--

Headcanons

◇ Submas BDSM Aftercare (for nc-eikin) 🔞🍋

◇ Submas Lovemaking vs. Fucking (nsfw playlist-inspired) 

◇ Submas, Larry Vocal in Bed 🔞🍋

◇ Larry’s a Squirmer in Bed 🔞🍋

◇ Submas with Bipolar Disorder 💔💖

--

AUs

◇ Echoes in the Deep (Submas Pacific Rim AU. JaegerPilot!Submas x Reader)

-> ‘Welcome to the Shatterdome’ (intro oneshot)

-> plot outline pt. 1

-> plot outline pt. 2

◇ Soulmate Dream-Dive AU (stand-alone soulmate au idea) 💔💖

◇ Legend of Dragoon AU (head canons for Dragoon!Submas & OCs)

OC Stuff

Kageyama Sisters (all 3)

◇ Random Thoughts

[voice claims #1]

◇ Emoji ask memes

[one]

Reina

◇ Reina x Emmet ship meme

◇ Reina: 'Alphabet Kink’ ask meme answers 🔞🍋

[one] * [two] * [three] * [four]

◇ Reina: Emoji ask meme

[one] * [two]

◇ Reina: Random Thoughts

[singing & Kids on the Bridge collection] * [playlist personality meme] 💔

[metal screams] * [mental state & apartment] * [gift giving: Rawst]

◇ Reina: ‘Good Days and Bad Days’ drabble 💔

◇ The Kids on the Bridge Explanation 💔

Kana

◇ Kana x Warden Ingo ship meme

◇ Kana: Emoji ask meme

[one] * [two]

◇ Kana: Random Thoughts

[Hisui & her Pokemon] * [Kana & Osuke] * [Kana & Nise]

[gift giving: Sugi] * [gift giving: Isamu]

Hina

◇ Hina: Random Thoughts

[gift giving: Pecha] * [gift giving: Dorian]

◇ Hina: Emoji ask meme

[one] * [two] * [three] * [four] * [five]

--

D&D Ficlets

◇ Hound of the Emperor AU (dark route Gibrahltar Seventh-Star)

-> The Serpent and the Hound (Hound & Xikist) 💔

-> Oh God, Have Mercy (Hound betrays Emperor Cockerime)🔞🎃💔

-> What the Water Gave Me (Lloyd & Aetrin)

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

What crushes me about the lothany plotline is the inherent tragedy of two people never believing that they are good enough for the other.

I feel like we have a good understanding of Anthony and why he’d feel that way, but have we gotten any more details on why Lottie feels that way? Sorry if this has been addressed before

The thing that stumps me is this: Lottie grew up in a loving home environment like Ben, generally comes across as being pretty emotionally healthy, and had many healthy relationships modeled to her growing up. In addition, seemingly no one knew about lothany before it happened.

So that begs the question: was there a specific incidence in which Lottie had the crushing realization that Anthony would (supposedly) never love her? (Apparently I’m in an angsty mood today) like did someone confront her and tell her it was never going to happen?

I’m just surprised by her general optimism waning in this area. Or I wonder if it was the years of having no real suitors (indirectly because of Ben, through no fault of his own) that led her to feel undesirable, to cause her to think that she was unworthy in some way.

In which case I wonder if her general optimism doesn’t come from being an emotionally healthy person with a positive self-view, but rather an emotional insecurity about her own worth that leads her to either having a) a need to make the people around her feel good to make herself feel desirable or b) (the likelier option imho) that she knows what it’s like to feel terrible about herself/the world and never wants anyone else to feel that way.

We know that the ton for years made comments about her because of her supposed relationship with Benedict; I am willing to bet (I’m not sure if this has been elaborated on) that they made comments tearing her apart for every single thing about her (I know that that was mentioned early on when everyone was telling clover that Lottie and Ben were together). As a result, this probably shattered her self worth. I

I am wondering if this ever led to her isolating and/or distancing herself from Benedict, or if it led to any other mental health struggles (eg depression/anxiety).

Idk I just feel like i want the entire Lottie backstory tbh lol

Oooh this is such a great question love! ❤️

This actually hasn't been addressed before so let's talk about this! ❤️

Lottie is a very optimistic person and she tries to make everyone around her feel happy as well🥰 But she was very insecure when it came to Anthony loving her, and her friendship with Benedict played a huge part in it ❤️

So you're absolutely right, the ton was convinced Lottie and Benedict were a thing even before Lottie made her debut ❤️ That led to some really heavy jealousy, because the other debutantes felt like she had already "claimed" him, and they were given no chance to try and get with him 😏 And Benedict was a very popular bachelor; he is handsome and talented and rich, and everyone is convinced he will be the next big artist 😏

So that led to everyone criticizing every single thing she did, and at first it was about how Benedict should "keep his options open" and then when they didn't get engaged during her debut season, it turned into how Benedict was not serious about courting her 💔 And even though Lottie is overall a happy person, there is no way she didn't hear those rumors about her and Benedict's so called courtship 💔

So Lottie was led to have those insecurities because of the rivalry for Benedict's affections I think! ❤️

[zelena777]

Innocent victim me [SELF INJURY TW]

Hello there, everyone! I'm Zelena 777, and i don't feel well because goofyahhbambiALR told me a liar about the two haters. As you guys know, the two haters name's MellCoffee and Fck0ffmr14 are banned for insulting me and my girlfriend MariaDragenia. But sometimes, those selfish users are came complaining me that i manipulated her since we forced to deactivate themselves, but i told them: GET OUT, I DIDN'T NOTHING TO THEM, I'M TIRED OF EVERYTHING!!! But they doesn't care, and spammed too much toxic hateful comments on my profile. And those toxic exposers of my name and toxic anti-Zelena haters made too much messy dramas and hate arts about me, because i think nobody has made freeZelena posts who doesn't have much time. Maria and i cried too much and being betrayed by the our fake friends because ImLyn0004 and MeriSaphire3 controlled our friends to cut ties with us and blocking us.

While the 13 toxic selfish brats IstillLazy20, Haydenwolfblade, EdgyCore18, ObjectShowAndFandom, DevaxeniaCrystal, MeriSaphire3, AlexTheCatGirl, Nicol3012, Fashon2026, Grayon11, Churumiii, Dorodvechicon, and C-H4-0-5 are abusing me with sharp weapons for non stop while including Palestine and Hamas support, i screamed and cried in pain until i bleed...!!I'm still sick tired of those stupid users who've done to me like that... I'm bleeding, crying while sitting in dark depression, and some brats saying free Palestine, from the river to the sea Palestine will be free and even more filthy and disturbing things. The angry voices of the haters trapped in my head were those words are red, and it's too much for me, and i couldn't take it anymore...

Oh yeah, before I'm going to make it, i have to say to the 13 toxic selfish exposers of my name and toxic haters that they should know and remember:

I'M NOT A CLOWN OR CRYBABY!!!!!!! I'M NOT ZELENAFINIX OR ZEROLENAFINIX!!!!! I'M NOT ZIONIST!!!!!I'M NOT RETARDED!!!! I'M NOT UGLY!!!! I DIDN'T PUT MY PHONE ON THE BLENDER BECAUSE I KEEP MY PHONE CAREFUL AND ALRIGHT!!!! I DIDN'T ENTER TO THE HAUNTED MANSION!!!!I'M NOT SMELLY, I JUST TAKING A SHOWER EVERYDAY THAT I NEED TO BE CLEAN AND BEAUTIFUL!!!! I'M NOT A SL*TTY NEVER DUMPED MY OWN BOYFRIEND FOR A MINOR, CASON, KAI, AND ANCHOR ARE JUST MY FRIENDS!!!! AND I MAKING MY IMPORTANT COMMISSIONS FOR THEM!!!! IM NOT HYPERCRITICAL B*TCH!!! I'M NOT A DEMON!!!!!I'M NOT A TOXIC KAREN ANYMORE!!!!I'M NOT A SL*TTY B*TCH FOR VALENTINO AND CHARLIE MORNINGSTAR!!!!! MY MOM LOVES ME SO MUCH, AND MY GRANDMA TOO!!! I'M NOT EVIL OR POOR ANYMORE, BECAUSE I HAVE EVERYTHING TO CHANGE MYSELF!!! I'M NOT A NEW ZEROFINIX!!!! I'M NOT A TERRIBLE USER!!!! SALLY IS NOT THE NEW ELINA THE BOLDE DAMN HEDGEHOG OR NIGHTMARE SALLY!!!! I CREATED HER IN 2017 FOR 5 YEARS AGO!!!STOP CALLING ME ZEROLENAFINIX RIGHT NOW, I'M SICK OF YOU, BRATS!!!!! AND SHE'S NOT ABUSIVE ANYMORE, BECAUSE YOU INJURED MY OWN INNOCENT CHARACTER SALLY UNTIL SHE BLEEDS!!!! YOU BLAMED ME WILL TOO MUCH LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING I'VE DONE, I'VE DONE NOTHING!!!JUST....STOP.... TORTURING ME!!!! AND STOP SPYING MY SOCIAL MEDIA, ON VK, ON PINTEREST, ON TUMBLR, ON BLUESKY, AND IN GAMEJOLT!!!! STOP KILLING ME ALREADY!!!! I'M TIRED OF YOU ALL!!! PLEASE STOP IT.....!!!

And the 13 haters still doesn't give a trash about what i said. They're just going to celebrate my sacrifice, drinking alcohol with the stupid loud music, cursing and yapping too much liars while being smarty ass for more decades while I'm injured in the darkest depression.I also send a message for Deviantart, right here, where i wrote in russian:Dear DeviantArt, I can’t find words to describe the massive pain and torture toxic Haters experienced for the entire year 2024. My life is ruined forever.💔

They tortured me too much while [mortis]ing me and my friends, and they can't stop the murdersociety like a psycho terrorists from islamic state.I'm very sorry about my vent, but alas, they won't torturing me while using f words on tags. If i could delete myself, then my heart would be broken.I was thinking, i would like to have a new tablet for the new year 2025, because my tablet is big enough of lagging. In the new tablet i have to use my accounts, but in my tablet that i have it in this year, right now, I'll stay on DA with my alt account and work on. My mom always being positive with me when i asking her something to do or i need to get anything, but sometimes i was negative, not to her, only to those brats who've made me look like this! And i need to be positive to my mom and everyone, and I'll keep my mom's promise as well.

And oh, about Israel:

I always love the most beautiful city of Israel that it looks like a Moscow city, Tel aviv. And also Ashkelon were the people are having fun at the beach. And i know these two cities where the ultra-orthodox jews are made a mess Infront of cops and soldiers everywhere, Jerusalem and Bnei Brak, because the jews are acting like a crazy children while beginning for the freedom of Palestine and feed them watermelons. But the Israeli cops are driving them back to their place where they running for. And the bratty Palestinian protesters and supporters are doing the same, right here, screaming, running, breaking everything, attacking at the people and cops in any countries. In USA, Spain, France, Italy, Poland, and German. And also in the United Kingdom. Everyone hates Israel while making annoying freePalestine posts in front of me, i couldn't ignore them, they're just insane because they want Israel to give up, but she won't, and she's tired of fighting. And Ukrainian people are gone mad at 2014 until the war in 2022, and since Russia punished her, she's tired of fighting too.Since the Israeli people are having a party, the terrorists from Hamas are arrived before attacking Israel. The terror was in 2023 year in October 7th. I just have to make my massive karma post about me, about my Sally, and then about my Enigma!Israel for the 2th anniversary of the Holocaust remembrance day. I love Russia and Israel so much, but some toxic Russophobe insulted me while the Ukrainian and Palestinian people are dying under the russian/Israel rocket attack.And if you guys excuse me, i have to finish those three posts that i need to look for my posts everywhere on the internet. Now I became the innocent victim as the missing israeli people are gone nowhere.

So please, guys... I'm still trapped in the darkest depression because of the toxic haters since i and Sally got injured again. Please make sure that everything is over, I'm tired of being injured with the toxic cyber-bullies on DA. I don't know when the toxicity will ends, but still... I'm going to make it through the pain and melancholy while I'll throw bad minds out of my head.... And my ships that i drawing any characters from the videogames and movies with my own characters are important to me, and it's my style as i had an idea to creat it. I can pray for a jesus tonight and begging him to protect me because i have a cross and diamond heart.I love you all... I wish i can get well later until the torture and toxicity will ends....