#depressing content ig??
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when they do come back from break can they ease us into it .... a tweet or an instagram pic for the roombas to snack on and then they can drop wdapteo when we're fully warmed up
#if they post wdapteo while my cat is dying i'm going to have a meltdown because it wont even be fun for me#i know its going to happen but i just need a tweet or something first so i can try to be more normal#if anyone remembers my freakout when they posted their vacation ig dump while i was having a bad depression episode ....#or the orange heart event when i was having a different depression episode....#i hate when they do monumental things when i'm too sad to enjoy them 😭#if i'm just a little bit sad then their content is comforting but if i'm in emergency mode it's miserable knowing i'm missing out#sorry this is a stupid rant i know how horribly parasocial this sounds#they dont owe me anything and obviously their schedule has nothing to do with me#the timing just couldn't be worse for me
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ls subz reads as a person w severe depression tbh
#lifesteal#itzsubz#ik its bc ooc he just heavily prefers lsnet in terms of content#but ic wise hes so heavily like. severe depression coded#esp w his apathy low self worth talks abt banning himself the low energy and like boredom w everything#the things he seems to care abt are like....vi and redd. tbh.#vi is gone and never coming back#and hes only gonna stay and help redd until lsnet s3 is out#og ig i should tag#lifesteal spoilers#bc of my tags#yet again LOL#but yeah subz and zam going to opposite ends of the spectrum without vi is very interesting#subz has nothing keeping him bound to this server while zam cares more then ever#im not saying losing vi is a DIRECT CAUSE of these but. i think it intensified this#pushed them even further#yk?
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It's not long but hey little continuation :D Please forgive me for not being able to draw Shamura I will figure them out eventually I promise
#justa arts#cult of the lamb#sketch#comic#cotl Lamb#cotl Shamura#cotl Narinder#cotl Leshy#cotl Heket#cotl Kallamar#my Narinder is genderfluid in the way that he will literally shapeshift to however he's feeling that day thanks#well.... past!Narinder does. current Narinder is Depressed™#crossed timeline au#<- only kind of an au ig? more like. post canon content
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😐.
#doesn’t even deserve a <3 mwah tag because ig that’s to cringe to!!!!!#if ur reading this then i hate both of you btw and i hope everybody from school finds both of ur tiktok’s and you get bullied so bad you-#have to change schools and then they find it there to and you get so depressed you kys and i go to your funeral and act like idk what-#happened and i live the rest of my life happy and content knowing you both are dead
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Wanting to share my two cents on the BioWare news, coming from any already P.O American lately and bullshit of greed, this will be a long rant barely flowing yet my anger and hurt is to strong lately on many things and this news to a series , of many, that help me cope and relax is kinda a breaking point tbh of my patience and cool
As yes someone that liked Veilguard hell even andromeda their could been more yes but all dragon age games in my opinion are 7 or 8 out of 10s for me but I’m in love with the world and there’s still a lot instances of me noticing in veilguard they did still keep vibe of series i know people say otherwise; writers were thrown shit with heavy interference and most likely inner conflict which heavily effects aspects
But I digress EA is scum, playing games since I was very young yet not touching and then going to school for development I could clearly see EA had plan old scum. My first look into it was the dead space franchise then with BioWare playing origins and then all others with development and shit that came out EA always been a problem with their studios they run them dry of any creativity then point blame on them yet have gotten worse among many more AAA studios, there is a reason I never finished my degree cause even my professors were burnt out. I could begin seeing the cracks with inquisition yes it sold well but I feel Skyrim hype helped tbh cause I remember on release to DA fans saying without dlc is badly written too but 10 years later here we are, then an article and leaks of how management was with inquisition even creative shit on that game and mass effect 3. Especially how devs wished inquisition to fail on how toxic everything was then andromeda then anthem was management and ea all arguing or just more bullshit. Ea began the fall of the studio like they do with any of there why I really don’t f***ing know likely greed especially how they want live service so bad for everything or crazy expectations ; we could’ve had Da:4 sooner but EA kept interfering thinking what players would want, then making it live service from originally single to only turn around again and be like nah single player again and oh here’s time frame with my guess less resources and then covid happened. Adding in how that article came out about inquisition development and some things I’ve seen in recent it’s inner conflict as well as Ea bs . The writers yes a lot them in last 15 years have said or done shit too and can be part of the issue yet they do not deserve to treated like trash especially with dev hell that was Veilguard yes o have my disagreements with a lot them but it’s clear EA likely gave an ultimatum for this game after rebooting it a third time and brought people in. It seems when busche came in she tried to wrangle as best she could and likely very little time with dragon age it seems EA never had faith but did for mass effect. Like mass effect is over I was fine with andromeda which yes heavily had it issues many but there was heart there and i feel Veilguard did too but Dev hell and confidence were wrung dry it was basically get decent product out the door which they did and tried really did, game to me Is an 8 same with Da2 which it’s heavily the same and same with origins DAI is the 7 for me, but digressing once more EA likely didn’t care do i kinda agree studio should focus on one game at a time? Absolutely cause years ago they could’ve helped on the sanity of writers and devs yet money money money and EA doing this decision with less people will only cause more inner turmoil where to me it’s basically their Old Yellering the studio like they do every single one. The writers should not have been let go the devs shouldn’t have but oh poor CEO well he needed his money 🥺 and big fat cuts 🥺 no F.U you already make hella money your ass just pulling a F***ing Warner bros bullshit now. Like you can tell it’s about money cause EA still hasn’t moved off their high horse about The Ai shit for the Voice actor strike nor have they given the packages to those they’ve laid off at BioWare ; it’s just straight up greed that’s ruining any of our favs series today. The only studio I’ve seen that stands up to EA or fight back under them is Respawn but how long til they turn on them too their running out of studios and rather greedily hold IPs example being dead space and those Alice games and will not sell or let other studios touch them. And doing this is just justifying the piece of shit grifters who never even cared in first place it isn’t go woke go broke it’s corporate greed money that these asshats don’t need.
Yet my conclusion I loved Veilguard I saw the heart there alot their are references in codex’s and dialogue with little they got . could they’ve done more yes but it seemed EA was basically rushing them to get going and as dev hell continued in already fracturing studio with inner conflicts those who left or were laid off even ones laid towards the end were likely so mentally drained they just did what they had bare minimum , I know the feeling from my last job new management made it so horrible everyone quit or were let go ,and huge industry problem is their killing creativity just like movie studios like Disney are cause they care about money and play it safe why in character writing Rook at times does play safe or simple yes but there’s still a deepness there as well, it’s better than Headcanoning the hell out of your inquisitor and I loved my inquisitor and inquisition to add. To add about the concept arts as well I see people talk about they were sadly concepts my classes would teach it’s basically rapid fire majority of concepts we’ve seen weren’t cut they never were approved and likely with dev hell and seems so much conflict I seemed the creativity was dying during inquisition’s development or confidence with Ea was turned to shit
I don’t know what the future holds cause ea has track record of pulling to help at other studios when now it’s so dwindling, for mass effect another series I love I feel way it’s going back to Milky Way, we don’t know plot yet, but going back with a direct sequel is a bad idea especially of fanfare was to the me3 choice endings, their going to have to make a canon which Like Veilguard with past choices will piss people off too to point of non interest and then if bringing Shep back as playable their stories over so if it is this route I don’t see it going well either, andromeda was the best to continue but I just can’t see ME5 working with fans how drastically each ending changes hopefully I’m wrong in my opinion that’s always been more recognizable. Yet with news I’ll still be posting stuff for all of dragon age even mass effect when I do my annual playthroughs. I love making content for it. I love my characters each helping me either get better at my writing or help find myself in the end. This whole series has helped me during dark times or times where i questioned myself and if it’s the end it suck’s and hope if continued new writers can do justice without Ea interference yet I can’t see it. After all said and done Thank you to all the writers from each game, pouring your heart and soul for trying especially Veilguard.
One day the dawn will come either that be a brighter chance or the end it will come one day and the bs can at least be over the studio and I hope all devs all writers find better ventures and way less toxic in the hellscape of an industry . Yet as a fandom lets remember the series as why we love it and if you don’t like Veilguard or just can’t like it I understand and appreciate your belief and support your reasoning everyone has a right to say their opinions and including dislikes. Art is subjective art is opinionated art is for the people that this industry lacks to understand killing creativity , and know for the series we just carry the torch as a fandom and honor it if it never continues as is.
#hexxtalks#I will always love this series even with my criticisms and or heavy for the games#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age origins#dragon age 2#dragon age inquisition#EA#ea critical#let’s try to be fandom positive#this our series now#dragon age warden#dragon age hawke#dragon age inquistor#dragon age rook#even if cringe at times it’s helped me and helped many others#the beauty of it even the raw when written#who knows like every Dragon age release in few years people will love it#let’s unite as a fandom rather than fight i miss simple discussions with out it turning into fights#this can also be for the higher ups at BioWare; so bioware critical too ig#not the writers or devs#and listen I have issues with some writers even ones that are gone who say some odd shit#yet their the ones effected fully#this literally just having me more depressed especially the way my country is going I’m tired#but it does give me a drive to continue making content more tbh#I did it with andromeda#I did it when cyberpunk 2077 was at such harsh state#I’ll do it here too#hell I have character I make and plan to post that are for fandoms that be the least expected
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argggghhhhhhhuuuhhhhhhhggghhhh
#rant#predicament: if i never became obsessed with nicole rafee i would have never heard her talk about ocd and then i would have never been like#oh shit i might have ocd and let that seep into every crack in my brain and now it controls my every thought#like all my thoughts were going through a perspective warp sieve and everything everyone's ever said to me like i was already over analyzing#everything but now the idea that that's a problem that doesn't have to be a problem has messed me up man like i think i'm having ocd about#ocd and it's not fun man but it's chill ig i hate it here i wish i didn't enjoy her content so much and that i wasn't obsessed with her#godddddd#new year's resolution: i don't have ocd and i am a new person who's carefree and fun loving#daily affirmation: i don't have ocd x10 every morning in the mirror#i will manifest the anxiety away and be a messier person who doesn't even care about authority one bit#like pshhhh idek that i have no control over my roommate situation pshahhhh dude like whateverrr be messy in the kitchen it's not like i#care if we get a roach infestation 🤪 peace and love man#i'm a sane and not paranoid person i am normal about every situation ever and it's awesome#i am not loosing sleep over maybe having a different cancer every night bc that's something a crazy person would do#but also i low key think i had / have covid since like last tuesday but subtly and slightly#i wish i would stop researching things i don't want to research anymore (looking up everything about ocd on ever website created since awol)#it's cool though it's all groove and fine but i would rather invest this time in synthia synthia but it's cool and whatev#this is my secret diary bc journaling has only ever made me feel worse#i can do scary drawings that allude to my mental state but writing about it depresses me to the point of sobs and it's literally not that#deep man like it's just anxiety and people deal with that everyday i just gotta get over it too like them#like normal man jim and his wife betty i gotta through more tupperware parties#merry christmas 🎠
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#kind anon#yeah i feel you#i know i've been lying to myself and almost forcing myself to have a good time here#when it comes to the louis fandom#i ignore 90% of louis content on my dash bc it doesn't resonate with me#i still feel like i'm a fan of who louis “is” but i am just not into the hard lad act he's putting on#and i also know he's been putting it on for years now so. im a lil jaded ig#im not attracted to him physically i am not interested in being a fan in that way#and my dash really is /like that/ which obvs is great if that's what you're into but it's alienating to me#which has been growing the last few years#i think it's time for me to let go#and treat louis and walls and fitf as nostalgic things i liked instead of an active fandom#bc that's the reality#who knows how i'll feel if he releases something new but idk#maybe this is also bc i'm depressed as fuck and i don't care about anything anymore but hey#we'll see in the long run#i haven't felt a ton of warmth for whatever louis is doing or the fandom around him for a long long time#ive been a ghost on tumblr i feel. just trying to discover new things
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crybaby
#artists on tumblr#illustration#clip studio paint#depression#anxiety#mfw works on something for more than 2 days#anyway i hope i keep this up and make some cool ass prints#idk where the style inspo came from probably like#y2k#and sonic adventure#and 80s graffiti#and old chonky anime ig#weeeeeeee#had fun with this#original content#prints
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sometimes i see ppl praise nds for being passionate about their interests and just feel bad :/
#mine.txt#tw vent#ig#this isnt really directed towards anyone#since were in the audhd website this is honestly to be expected#but like idk my passion is entirely artificial and manufactured#something made in conjunction with me and my mind to make my stay here feel like its worth something#not in the existential sense but in the transactional sense ie its worth it to stay alive cause this and that keeps me entertained#and id see all these genuine shows of passion and im just like. how.#cause the thing is im not depressed im actually quite content with my life even with its down moments#but i kinda have an ingrained neutral nihilism in me wherein i dont think much of reality and existence#it makes survival easy but living and thriving so so hard#cause why waste energy doing all that when in the end its all the same anyway#i do things in the moment if they make me happy ofc#but they rarely ever go past a moment#its why even now i struggle with the concept of happy memories#theyre just memories to me
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Desperate Prayers
I’ll pray to my God,
And you pray to yours.
Because we need more than one
To fix this broken world.
#btw i write poetry??#poetry#wrote this in inspiration of-#well everything ig#sometimes it feels like there isn't any good left in the world#ik this is depressing considering my usual content#But art is inspired by the emotions of the artist#and this is how i feel rn
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i love watching how pressed people are getting over the new MHA OVA like, of course it's going to be slightly cringey because it's not officially part of the story, it's a promotional side episode. the new UA Battle Heroes game just came out and instead of advertising in a traditional way they made another episode
#also people whining about it being in dub is just plain hilarious because ig people are STILL fighting sub vs dub#it wasn't too bad honestly#it was nice to have some new content that isn't as depressing as what's happened in recent seasons and the manga#also i found it odd that they put bokurano as the intro for it#because this episode is supposed to be set a few months back from before where the anime is now#seems like it's set between seasons 4 and 5#but maybe they thought bokurano would fit bc that's the most recent season's intro#ANYWAYS#would recommend#my hero academia#mha#mha ova#ua heroes battle
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Hello this is your daily reminder that it is 5 thousand times worse to me mean than it is to be cringe.
#azure’s bullshit#cringe culture is ableist#idk why tall tryna bring catholic guilt into enjoying content but ok ig#oh no not someone having FUN#im sad so everyone must also be sad#im not depressed im just ‘in the know’
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CW: vent in tags (I'm sorry idk Tumblr etiquette yet-)
unfortunately a lot of the corny self help advice turns out to be true but the thing is you have to come to those conclusions yourself otherwise it just sounds dismissive and dumb
#THIS IS SO TRUE!#I hear myself recommending advice I straight out dismissed#the magnus archives#tma#Mainly bcs even though I've gone thro similar things idk how to confort others (I don't know how I found comfort before)#It feels fake when I'm told to do it#And ig part of me doesn't want it to be true. To be that easy. Like what I'm feeling is real. It's not just a bit of low mood#It's depression and it's hurts me. It is a part of my life and I hate it#But it can't be fixed by just some deep breaths or positive affirmations right? It's more serious than that#I want to get better but part of me doesn't want it to be as simple as that because that would mean all that time I was just being dramatic#And what would it make all this? Pointless? Pathetic?#It feels fake anyways. Being told to do something. My brain's cynical so will find any and all flaws with the suggestion#And I just can't do positive affirmations. It's feels so so fake and like you're lying to yourself#And then it feels like you're being egotistical and self absorbed. Like oh look at me I'm so great and amazing. I just can't#I feel like I've gone off topic-#But like when someone else suggests something I can often dismiss it out if hand because I can list all the reasons it wouldn't work for me#But sometimes when you find it yourself - even if you know it's been recommended before - it works better#I guess it's because you've chosen to give it a try willingly?#Idk I'm still tryna find stuff that helps#Is this the kinda stuff you should post if Tumblr? What are the rules for like...vents ig?#This may be kinda triggering for some people uhhh content warning?#Shit but like you can't move tags so I can't add one at the top uhh-#Wait solution!#Okay well yknow sorry if you read all that and yea uhh imma head to bed now or pretend to :D
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Saw my supervisor today and when he first saw me told me I looked desperate
Which makes sense in a way
#i wouldnt describd it like that but certainly theres a component of that#god i hate to get hit with depression wave#this one hitting harder cos I have been sober for the most part of this week#and my period starting around these days too#and just like emotions piling up#and inadequacy and blablabla#ofc add the ingredient of getting hit with missing my dog every now and then#so why not putting his yt playlist and cry to my hearts content#not that I havent cried just been more intermittent#so yeah#wish there was a way that I only get the content of ig i need for my phd project and nothing else#went down the rabbit hole of reels and bs and that also played a part on me feeling like this today
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I’m so funny on my other socials idk what it is about tumblr that makes me emo lol
#Idk if it’s because it’s a safe space so I only come here when I’m sad?#or something about the energy here makes me sad#but i swear im not doom and gloom all the time 😭#my personal socials are just travelling content family stuff and jokes 😅#thoughts#but i will say it kinda gives me the space to be lighter elsewhere#because I’ll be damned if I’m posting depressing quotes on IG where people I know irl can see 👁👁
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It took less than two days for tiktok to give me depression
#i wish i were joking#I'm upset that ig removed recent tags bc thats how i find small poc creators and fashion ppl#i loved following people who had talent but low follower count#i also wanted to be able to put short vlog style content somewhere and to find community#oh but i was heavily pushed into right winger and rich white people tiktok immediately so i started hearting#the opposite which lead me down a very sad side of tik tok that was very triggering#so although I'm really wanting to hear people's cries for help i also just wanted a place away from the harsh reality#so as hard as it was i had to scroll past any and all political and lgbt hate stuff i had to to get off that side#and i shit you not the first wholesome funny page i found i looked at their last post#and someone from the page passed away this month so like fuck dude this is depressing
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