#depending on where alex went after mexico

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

GOOD MORNING who else is feeling normal about the fact that there's a 100% chance of alex turner and miles kane hugging each other and laughing together today 😭😭😭😭

[gossipgirloff1]

hello, mexican here. brace for a lot.

a thing many of us latino/hispanic hate is the whole nationality vs ethnicity debates. many of us are not born in our homeland so our nationality and ethnicity are not the same (unless we have dual citizenship) but we are still so proud of our ethnicity and heritage. however depending on the country we are born in, mainly in europe, we might not many acknowledge that we are in fact latino/hispanic until it benefits them. we are forced to assimilate since it’s safe for our family due to r*cism in the country, or more benefits we get if we are non-latino.

a thing i’ve noticed in alex, now this might be a bit biased since i cannot stand this, is when something goes wrong like her being called a r*cist that is when it’s release she is mexican and therefore can’t be. or when she was trying to gain fans or positive feedback since the entire time she was in the mexico grandprix was not a good for her. she was constantly criticizing for her clothes, body language and how she spoke spanish (many were saying you could tell she learned it in school with how she sounded) but after the video of her stating she was mexico that is when it turned over for her. many mexicans became her fans, idolized her, coping her clothes and makeup style.

however, many of us notice she only claimed this part of her for its benefit. since she might be born and raised in france that might have something to do with this, since many french do not like us latino, especially mexican. and while growing up it was better for her to deny and bury this part of her so she could succeed in the society but now since her being latino is very beneficial that is why she’s slowly coming out with it. like why she won’t let the man post the video of her stating where she is from BUT can comment on it. there is no prove of where she was born in or her ethnicity (it is all speculations, we know she went to school in monaco and live and visited france a lot during the time but nothing else) and since that video she’s gained more interest since “Oh alex is argentinian” or “is she mixed, is she half mexican and argentinian” this is cause more people to go to her page which it great for her influencer career.

i do not like believing this, but it’s extremely common for people to do this. but there is many people that parents or even grandparents are latino but since they are ambiguous looking, they can pass off as anything which lets them deny they are latino and are another ethnicity until it benefits them. like receiving scholarships for latino, diversity hire, deny r*cism claims, or able to be exotic.

if this is alex, i find it quite sad for her. she has been denying part of herself for who knows how long and might not know who she truly is, especially with the claims she changed herself for charles, and many won’t believe her when she comes forth as latina since she’s been essentially lying for years about it.

.

[exhxustxd]

alex rhodes is here.

basic information:

full name: alexandra “alex” rhodes

nickname(s): only goes by alex or al, no one really knows her full name

age: 44

date of birth: november 5th

hometown: seattle, washington

current location: taos, new mexico

ethnicity: dominican, puerto rican

nationality: american

gender: cis woman

pronouns: she/her

orientation: lesbian

occupation: auto mechanic

living arrangements: a small one bedroom in taos 

language(s) spoken: english, spanish

physical appearance:

face claim: michelle rodriguez

hair color: black

eye color: dark brown

height: 5′5

build: athletic?

tattoos: probably quite a few at this point, maybe a half sleeve and some large ones scattered about, couple on the other arm and couple on the legs 

piercings: ears (don’t think she uses those much anymore) and nipnips

clothing style: tight jeans, tank top and probably a leather jacket when cold-ish

usual expression: skeptical

distinguishing characteristics: i mean hot af?

health:

physical ailments: tendonitis in the wrists, and some back pain related to not taking care of her body while drumming actively 

neurological conditions: ptsd, depression

allergies: tbd

sleeping habits: not great, the ptsd keeps her up sometimes, and she won’t use sleeping pills after her recovery 

eating habits: tries to be healthy, but will take whatever is easier

exercise habits: tries to stay in shape. isn’t as dedicated as she used to be, but puts in some effort at least 

emotional stability: 6/10

sociability: won’t take anyone’s bullshit, and can seem very closed off if you don’t know her well — if you put in the effort though, she might talk your head off

body temperature: gets cold easily when she’s still, but she’s usually moving around, so it doesn’t happen all that much 

addictions: coffee, like a shit ton of coffee

drug use: none now. she had a drug problem when she was touring regularly

alcohol use: nothing crazy, she’s in a place with her recovery where she can drink on a night out, but it’s something she rarely does because she’s always working 

personality:

positive traits: dependable, driven, loyal, honest, confident, compassionate

negative traits: bossy, destructive, paranoid, elusive, direct, secretive, calculating

fears: relapsing, vulnerability

hobbies: restoring old cars

favorites:

weather: rain

color: army green

music: alternative rock

movies: who has time to watch them anyway

sport: basketball

beverage: cinnamon whisky

food: bbq base pizza

animal: wolf

song: everybody but you — state champs, ben barlow

family:

father: deceased

mother: deceased

sibling(s): one younger and one older

children: –

pet(s): a boxer named elvis

family’s financial status: very well off 

extra:

zodiac: scorpio

tw: drug abuse, drug overdose, car accident, survivor’s guilt/ptsd

bio:

born and raised in seattle, washington, alex was particularly fan of the rain and the nature found there. the thought of ever leaving never crossed her mind. not until high school at least. 

early on, some friends had decided that they wanted to start a band — but lacked a drummer. while alex had no idea how to play drums, she was bored out of her mind with school and spent most of her time restoring old cars with her dad, so she figured it was worth giving something that didn’t involve her dad a shot.

it didn’t take long for alex to become completely obsessed. her obsession grew and developed into producing as well — and she found herself trying harder at school in order to get into a good college where she could learn the tools needed to continue making music.

after high school, alex went on to study music technology at usc.

at usc, alex finally met people she vibed with. people she actually enjoyed being around. and that’s how they ended up in the band off-piste.

coming out of college, the gang established themselves in the california scene, and before long they were touring the world.

on tour though – alex found love. their tour manager. they had grown closer over the years, and eventually it developed into more than friendship, and it wasn’t long before the pair got married.

touring took its toll on alex though. being offered drugs everywhere they went – it grew harder and harder to say no. and alex soon found herself with an ever-growing addiction. speed and cocaine soon became daily visitors in her life.

after wrapping up a tour in los angeles, alex found herself in a car accident with a bandmate and a crew member. oblivious to the fact that the driver was under the influence, alex didn’t really know what had happened until she woke up in the hospital to the news of their bandmate’s passing.

as the band broke up and alex was left dealing with the aftermath of what had happened, she spiraled even further. having been begged for months to get back on the road as a drum tech – alex finally agreed, but only as a sound technician. there was no way she was going to be touching a drum kit again.

being back on the road only fueled her addiction, and after an accidental overdose in between tours, she realized enough was enough. she decided it was time to get clean, and checked into rehab.

once out, alex packed her things and moved to taos. filed for divorce and left everything she knew behind. the marriage hadn’t felt like a real marriage in a long time and she needed a slower pace of life, in a smaller place, with less of her old friends. she needed fresh and healthy. and being around el again could be just that.

she got a job working as a mechanic at the auto shop, and thrived. being back to fixing cars and sticking to a routine made staying clean achievable.

at this point, alex is fourteen years clean and prefers it that way. life is monotonous and lonely, but that’s the only way of life she knows at this point. aside from whatever hellscape taos is turning into of course.

alex might be hard to get to know – but she will definitely get to know you. she has a way of finding your pressure points and what makes you tick – maybe even without you realizing. perceptive and observant – but quiet.

she’s an emotional daredevil once she’s truly invested in something. she will fall head first into it and not care how much it hurts her.

[benkouji726]

Five times Alex surprised Forrest and one time he didn’t

Final two Chapters! 

Not gonna lie. I literally cried when I finished this. And I vowed to myself that I’d NEVER write a multi chapter ever again.

But anyway, I FINISHED IT. I feel so proud of myself. Also, I now realize that I’m not a writer, like at all. To quote Mr Alec Lightwood-Bane, “I dabble”.

Chapter 1  Chapter 2 

Chapter 3  Chapter 4

5. 

Forrest’s lease was up in two weeks, and he hadn’t even tried to look for a new apartment yet.

Thing was, he and Alex were practically living together, they just spent their nights alternatively in his apartment or Alex’s house, depending on their work schedule or the mood.

Besides, Buffy OWNED that couch in Alex’s house at this point. No lie, anyone who wanted to sit on that couch needed to ask for her permission, Alex included.

But Alex hadn’t asked him yet. And he knew about the lease thing, Forrest made sure of it.

So here he was, blew off Alex’s dinner request and sat in wild pony, alone and miserable, just because he didn’t know if his boyfriend, who he had dated almost seven months now, wanted to take the next step with him or not. It was a little pathetic to be honest.

“Maybe I should just ask him”, he murmured to himself, needing the outspoken words to give himself courage.

“Ask him about what?” Isobel suddenly appeared to his left.

“Jesus”, he was startled, and a little bit embarrassed. He and Isobel were sort of friends now, but talking about boy problems with each other? They were so not there yet. So he deflected. “What are you doing here? I thought you and Greg were going out tonight.”

Isobel considered him for a moment, eyes insightful. Forrest sometimes felt like she could see right through him, it was unsettling to say the least. But she played along, dropping the topic.

“Gee, what are you and Alex? Teenage besties? You tell each other every little thing in your life now? Including who one’s brother goes out with on any given day?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Forrest replied, deadpan, “What else would we talk about when we go to the bathroom together, hand in hand?”

Isobel snorted. “Well, Greg had to bail on me because his brother was feeling alone and insecure tonight because he said, and I quote, ‘it’s our six months anniversary and I planned the whole thing but he chose today of all days to blow off our date. Is he gonna dump me oh my dear brother?’”

Forrest frowned. “What are you talking about? Our six months anniversary was almost three weeks ago. We had a nice dinner, we exchanged gifts. Well, I gave him a gift, he gave some toy to Buffy, but you know, PRESENTS were involved.”

“Don’t look at me. All I know is that I’m here and Greg is there. When we could’ve been having a MUCH enjoyable time right now if not for your issues, no matter what they are.”

Forrest couldn’t help himself at that point.

“If he cared so much about me, why didn’t he want me to move in with him?”

Isobel froze at that. But she recovered quickly. “Are you sure you want to talk to me about this, Long? I’m sure our friendship is so not there yet.”

He KNEW this. He just didn’t care anymore. “Why not? It’s not everyday I can talk about my boyfriend issues to said boyfriend’s ex’s sister, is it?”

Isobel sighed. “When you put it that way, it’s almost like we’re family. So go ahead. But I gotta say, I don’t know why you’re so upset, it’s only been six months. It’s within reason that he didn’t ask you to move in, no?”

Forrest shook his head. “Normally I’d agree. But for the last month or so, we haven’t spent a single night apart. We’re either in my apartment or in his house. And the lease of my apartment is up in 2 weeks. He knew this, because I TOLD him last week, but instead of asking what my plans are, he changed the subject, rather smoothly I might add, but it was still a very abrupt move.”

He went quieter. “I haven’t gathered the courage to bring up the topic ever since. And it’s not only been six months, it’s six months and three weeks.”

“Well”, Isobel also went quieter. “I don’t know much about your relationship status. But I want to quote the thing you just said, you should ask him. And maybe sort out the whole different dates on the anniversary mess?”

Forrest stared. “You are absolutely no help.”

She drank his drink, patted him on the back, and left.

Really. No help at all.

——————————————

When he parked in Alex’s driveway, Greg was already gone. Perhaps went to the ENJOYABLE TIME with Isobel. Which, eww.

He went in, using the key Alex gave him. (He had a key for god’s sake, didn’t that say something?) Buffy was lying on HER couch, not even spared a glance his way. So she took Alex’s side. Great.

Then he was met with candles and roses and wine and cold homemade meal, and a visibly upset and a little sad Alex.

OK if he was Buffy he would probably take Alex’s side too.

He felt guilty but also angry because he had done nothing he should feel guilty about, so he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.

“It’s not our six months anniversary.”

Alex looked confused. “What? It’s definitely six months since I kissed you and we went on our first date that night.”

Forrest was cold all of a sudden.

“Wait. I thought our first date was the paint ball date?”

Now Alex was the one looked guilty. “I don’t consider it the beginning of our relationship, because at that time, I hadn’t moved on from Guerin yet. But the night when I sang that song...”

“You mean that song you wrote for him, sang it in front of him, hoping he would take you back, but got rejected, that song? So what, you think our relationship only began after you knew he was no longer a possibility?”

Forrest never hated himself more in his whole life. He was being petty, he knew. And he was hurting the love of his life for being petty. But whatever’s said, couldn’t be unsaid.

Alex’s knuckles turned white from gripping the kitchen table. He said in a controlled voice. “I think our relationship began after I was sure I wanna move on. Yes, the reason I wanted to move on was because I thought there was no chance between me and Guerin anymore. And yes, if he had not walked out of that song, you and I might not have entered our relationship. But he did walk out, and I decided to try it with you. I’m glad I made that decision.”

He took a calming breath. But his voice shook a little at the end of his words. “You know all this. I’ve been nothing but honest with you. I told you my history with Guerin, you said you wanted to fight for us. What changed?”

His greedy heart was what changed, Forrest could at least admit this to himself. He had this constant fear, always looming somewhere deep in his heart, that if Guerin ever wanted to fight for Alex back, he would WIN.

He didn’t want to acknowledge that fear to Alex though, so he asked instead: “Why haven’t you asked me to move in with you? You knew my lease status.”

Something flicked through Alex’s eyes then, something like panic and afraid. But he was never one to avoid confrontation so he braced himself and said, “Because it’s a big step and I don’t think we’re there yet.”

Well if Forrest had ever thought he’d experienced the worst pain, he’d be wrong.

His voice was broken alongside his heart. “We’ve been living together for a month now, Alex, just in two places. I don’t understand, what more do we need to take the step? Where is this THERE?”

“I don’t know!” Alex seemed heartbroken too. Damn him. “Moving in together means we’re going steady. But I’m not steady and I can not offer steady at the moment!”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Forrest was angry now, because what Alex said was just total bullshit. “You are the steadiest person I know! And I don’t know if you noticed, but we’ve been going steady for at least four months now!”

“Not that kind of steady!” Alex continued to not making any sense, “the kind of steady that I can share everything with you, that I know where I’d end up, that we’re having the safe and happy future we both want!”

“Wait, back up, what?” He was utterly lost. “What do you mean, end up? You told me you are very unlikely to get relocated. And after this term of your enlistment, you’ll get out and find a job here. And more importantly, what the fuck do you mean, safe? Why shouldn’t we be safe?” He didn’t want to touch the “share everything” part, not just yet.

Alex shut his eyes. “I can’t tell you that.”

So literally “can’t share everything” huh, well it hurt like a bitch.

To add salt to the wound, because he was apparently asking for pain at this point, he asked, “Is it about Guerin?”

Alex didn’t answer that. He just stood there, eyes teary and pleading.

“So let me get this straight. You can’t move in with me because you can’t promise that we’d have a future together because you may end up dead or something, and the reason you might be in trouble even danger some day is because you are doing something for Guerin, which you can’t tell me about.”

Alex still said nothing.

Forrest should just leave, take Buffy and never turn back. But he had been a pathetic loser for Alex since day one, so he asked a last question, he practically begged: “Is there a time frame of this thing you do for him? Because I can be patient.” He even tried a lighthearted smile, he failed spectacularly.

Alex seemed SHATTERED by that. But he still shook his head.

After that, there was nothing left to say.

————————————

Turned out, it was really easy to find a new apartment in Roswell, New Mexico.

————————————

He was writing a poem in Crashdown when Guerin showed up. He was writing a lot of poems these days since Alex and he had the argument the other day. (He hadn’t seen, talked to or heard from Alex for three weeks now, but he still refused to call it a breakup.)

So he was writing his poem and had every reason to ignore Guerin, even if he sat in the opposite seat of the booth, directly in front of him.

Guerin seemed he didn’t really want to be there either, because he cut to the chase rather quickly.

“Alex re-enlisted because he wanted to protect me and my family from the government agency that is hunting us.” He said in a rush, voice so quiet Forrest thought he must’ve misheard him.

“What?” No, that was not quite enough, “What the fuck?”

Guerin cursed under his breath. “You are not stupid and you are not slow. You understand perfectly what I said. So ask a question that has some meaning instead of just being dense.”

Fuck him. “Why are you hunted?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

Great. Time to leave.

“Wait!” Guerin half shouted, frustration evident in his voice, “Do you care more about this or do you want to know what type of trouble this could bring to Alex?”

He stilled. And sat back down.

Guerin pulled his hair, hard. “Honestly, I don’t know that either. But I know I would do everything in my power to prevent any type of danger heading his way.”

Forrest laughed, humorlessly. “No offense, but that does not assure me, like at all.”

“What do you want me to say?” Guerin was angry now, “The GOVERNMENT is hunting us. Alex was already involved, we couldn’t get him out now even if we tried. And honestly, he wouldn’t want to get out, he is stubborn like that, even if he’s now suffering from it.”

“Because he wants to protect you.”

“Because it’s the right thing to do!”

They glared at each other, both angry and hurt.

Guerin backed down first. “He wants to protect me, and my family, yes, that is a factor why he is doing this. But not the only factor. He also wants to create his own legacy, and really, it IS the right thing to do.”

Somehow, Forrest believed him. He didn’t like him, but he believed him.

“Why are you telling me this?” He needed to know.

Guerin looked like he’d rather die than say the next bit, but he still said it. “Like I said, he’s suffering, because he thought he lost you over this.”

He then stared right into Forrest eyes, as if daring him to look away. “And I could swallow a lot of things if it means he’d be happy, you of all people should understand this, shouldn’t you?”

———————————

He left Buffy with his cousin because he wanted to have an uninterrupted conversation with Alex. She wasn’t happy about it.

But when he stood in front of Alex’s door, he suddenly lost all words. He even lost the courage to KNOCK.

The last three weeks had been the most miserable days of his life. He was only keeping himself together (barely) by insisting to himself that it was only an argument, not a definite ending. He didn’t know what he’d do if Alex decided it was in fact done and over.

He didn’t know what he’d do if those three weeks would turn into the rest of his life.

Panic struck him all at once, and he was ready to turn around and flee, when the door opened and Alex stepped out.

And he looked terrible.

He was losing weight, eyes bloodshot, hair a mess. He looked exactly like Forrest when he looked in the mirror these days.

He had so many things to say, to apologize, to blame, to yell, to beg. But no words came out. He stepped forward, as if being pulled by some invisible force, and next thing he knew, he was clutching at Alex, totally engulfed by his embrace.

He vaguely thought about loosing his grip a bit because it was really too desperate, but he was also having a little trouble breathing from Alex’s tight hug, so he let it go.

————————————

He didn’t know how long they stood there and hugged the fuck out of each other, but by the time they sat down on Buffy’s couch, he felt like a new man already.

They were sitting side by side, not exactly touching, but Alex’s hand rested beside his, he only had to move a fraction so that their pinkies would touch.

He moved that fraction.

Alex looked down, to their now touching pinkies. He smiled, moved his hand even further to Forrest so all of their fingers entwined.

Then he said, ever so soft, “I missed you. I missed you so damn much.”

Forrest wanted to cry. He wanted to say it didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t want to know anything beyond the fact that he loved Alex and Alex loved him. He would be happy as long as he could have Alex by his side. He didn’t care about moving in or being steady. He just wanted Alex back.

But Alex surprised him by pulling him up and to the bedroom. There, in the corner, was a small bed.

A dog bed.

Forrest was speechless. Fear and hope clogging his throat.

“I purchased it the day you left after our fight”, so he thought of it as a fight, not a breakup either. They were both idiots. “I knew then I wanted you and Buffy to move in, but I thought I couldn’t have that. Like Guerin told you, we’re up against the government, I don’t even know if I can get an honorable discharge, I can’t promise you a bright future.”

He took a deep breath. “But now I want nothing more than to ask you to move in with me.”

He should be happy, he shouldn’t ask any questions anymore. But he just needed to.

“Why? What changed?”

Alex didn’t hesitate. “The last three weeks happened, and they changed how I see things.”

“How?”

“I realized I couldn’t live without you. I also don’t want to.”

Forrest thought he could burst from all the love and happiness he felt at that moment.

Alex tightened his grip on Forrest’s hand, he was sweating a little, which meant he was nervous as fuck, and said in a tentative voice.

“I still can’t tell you what is it about Guerin and his family, not without his permission, or how long this hunting will continue, and I still can’t promise you I’ll be safe and sound for our future together. But I’m willing to fight teeth and nail so I’d come back to you, to our home.” His voice broke, “So will you move in with me?”

He had no choice but to say yes.

+1.

He proposed on a Saturday morning, when they were in bed, tangled up, changing smiles and kisses, after Alex told him the danger was no longer there and Guerin and his siblings were in the clear. He simply took out the ring he had bought three months ago, and asked.

“Marry me?”

And when Alex said yes, he wasn’t surprised at all.

[bestillmyslashyheart]

the one left behind

In hindsight, it made sense. Roswell was home, for all of them, but that didn’t mean it was safe. At the time, of course, it felt like one hit after another and Maria wasn’t sure how she would survive. 

Liz was first. Or, more accurately, Rosa was first. Waking up from a decade long coma to the realization that the world thought you were dead and hated you for it would be a shock for anyone. For Rosa, it was the last straw. She’d always been planning to leave, had been trying to leave when Noah-via-Isobel killed her. To her credit, she made it almost two weeks in 2019 before she split, stealing Liz’s car and leaving Roswell in her rearview mirror. 

Maria had barely gotten over the shock of seeing Rosa alive (and learning that aliens were real and had both tried to kill her and revived her) before Liz was hugging her tightly and apologizing profusely. She’d lost her sister once, like hell was she going to do it again. Less than a day after Rosa left, Liz piled her stuff into Max’s car and took off after her. 

The next one surprised her more than she’d thought possible. Rosa Ortecho, alive and well? She could (eventually) wrap her mind around that. Michael Guerin packing up his truck and his Airstream and leaving Roswell? That was somehow harder. Guerin had been her constant. While Liz and Alex had left, Guerin had always been there, ever present and utterly dependable in his own weird way. Maria wasn’t sure she’d ever forget the image of him driving his trailer past the Welcome to Roswell sign. 

He didn’t plan on coming back. He hadn’t actually said those words when he told her was leaving but she didn’t need to be a psychic to see that. Roswell held too many painful memories and not enough good ones. 

With Guerin gone, Maria supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised that Isobel followed not long after. Of course, she said she wasn’t actually following him, something about them each needing to find their own paths, but she didn’t stick around town for long after he was gone. She packed up her house, setting a spectacular bonfire of all of Noah’s things in the process, and sold her house. She gave Maria her phone number and email address in case something alien happened and she needed to get in touch but she didn’t leave a forwarding mailing address. Maria suspected that was because Isobel had no idea where she was going. She was probably going to get in her car and drive until she didn’t see her abusive ex-husband or Max’s ghost around every corner. 

It was a stressful month, to say the least. In 30 days, Maria went from maybe starting a relationship with her best friend’s ex to finding out aliens were real and one of her oldest friends in the world was alive and well after a decade, to losing the people she’d unexpectedly grown closest to. The only ones left in Roswell with her were Kyle Valenti and Alex. And she and Alex weren’t speaking. 

It would have made sense in high school for her and Kyle to be friends. He dated her best friend for almost three years, after all, but they’d never been close. It was strange, being close to 30 and finally getting to see just what it was Liz had seen in that dick of a teenager Kyle had been. He was actually a pretty cool guy, Maria was happy to find out.

It made his departure a month after Isobel’s hurt all the worse. She knew the second he walked into the Pony that night that she wasn’t going to like what he had to say. His aura was shrouded in guilt but also exquisite happiness. Between that and his face, she knew before he opened his mouth that he was leaving, too.

“Where to next, Dr. Valenti?” She plastered a smile on her face as she served him his usual without waiting for him to order.

He glanced at the drink and then her face and smiled crookedly. “Nigeria, first, I think.”

Maria arched an eyebrow in question.

“I was accepted to work with Doctors Without Borders. I need to leave within the week.” As he spoke, he couldn’t quite keep the smile off his face, his lips turning upwards almost against his will and Maria couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Kyle, that’s awesome.” She reached across the bar to squeeze his hand. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks, Maria.” His smile was bright against the slight gloom in the bar. “I’m sorry to leave you here-”

Maria waved him off. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Always am,” she added cheekily. His smile turned a little sad but she wouldn’t let it drop. “So. Tell me all about it. When did you hear about it?”

She let him prattle on happily about his new job and the next week she gave him a proper send off, on the house. He sent her a lovely worded text very early the next morning that told her he both appreciated and resented the night. In other words, it was perfect.

And then there were two.

It was strange to think that she and Alex had once been as close as siblings. She’d known that kissing Michael would be a mistake but she hadn’t fully understand the ramifications until she’d lost Alex. Oh, he was always friendly and polite when they crossed paths, but the warmth and close friendship they’d once shared was gone. Maria had hope that the one silver lining to finding out everyone had been lying to her for months and then losing them one by one would be that she and Alex could bond again but that hadn’t happened.

In the month following Isobel’s departure, Maria only ever saw him for more than a second when he was with Kyle. They’d come into the Pony some nights and he’d make friendly conversation but he always kept his distance, emotionally speaking. Even his aura was closed off to her. After Kyle left, it was like Alex became a ghost. He didn’t come into the Pony anymore and she never saw him in passing around town. If she hadn’t overheard someone mentioning seeing him in the grocery store, she might’ve thought he’d left to.

But he couldn’t. The one good part about his military service, Maria struggled to think, was that he was obligated to stay in Roswell until he was discharged. 

It was almost two months after Kyle left, over three since Rosa came back to life and everyone fled Roswell like it was on fire, when Maria put on her big girl pants and drove out to Sheriff Valenti’s old hunting cabin. She’d had to ask Kyle where Alex lived and if that wasn’t an indication of how lackluster of an attempt they’d made to reconnect when Alex moved home, she didn’t know what was. Even before Michael came between them, they hadn’t been the friends they once were and Maria missed him.

The truck parked next to the cabin was standing with its doors flung open and the trunk half full of boxes when Maria drove up. She fingered the bottle of tequila in the passenger seat before leaving it there as she got out of the car. 

The front door to the cabin was wide open and she could hear someone moving around inside. Grunts and curses filled the air as Alex came stumbling through the door, a large box in his hands. Maria waited as he shuffled over to his car and added the box to the load.

“Hey,” she greeted softly when his hands were free. Alex tensed but didn’t look to startled so she assumed he’d heard her pull up. “Going somewhere?”

Alex sighed and nodded, turning towards her with a blank expression. “New posting.”

Maria blinked in surprise. “What? You’re being relocated? I thought your service was up?”

“It was,” he admitted slowly. “And then I re-upped. Turns out they don’t need me in Roswell so I have a week to report to my new posting. Which is not in New Mexico.” He turned away and disappeared into the house. Maria followed before she could think better of it.

“You’re leaving?” Maria asked, needing him to say it again for some reason.

“Yes.” 

Maria opened her mouth to say something then closed it again when she realized she didn’t have anything to say. Alex didn’t pause in his movements. He moved slowly but surely through the living room and kitchen, piling the last of his things into boxes and taping them up. 

“Were you going to tell me?” Maria’s voice wavered and she cleared her throat. “Or was I going to find out you were gone too by coming out to an empty cabin?”

Alex chuckled. It wasn’t a pleasant sound. “Why would you be coming out here? I’ve been back over a year and you’ve never come by. Not once. I didn’t even think you knew where I was living, honestly.” Maria looked away, unwilling to admit she’d had to email Kyle for his address. Liz hadn’t known either when she’d asked her. “But yes, I was going to tell you. I was planning to stop by the Wild Pony on my way out of town.”

“Oh. That’s g-,” Maria cleared her throat. “Thank you. I guess.”

“Everyone else is gone,” Alex commented idly as he taped up another box. “Didn’t want to disappear without a word. Just in case you might-” He stopped.

“Might what?” Maria asked. “Worry?” She barked out a harsh laugh. “Do you honestly think I wouldn’t worry if you were gone? Hell, I’ve been worried about you since you left for Basic Training ten years ago. I thought we were coming up on the end of my having to worry about you. But no, you had to go sign up for more!” Alex didn’t turn around and it only stoked her anger. “Why the hell would you go back for more, Alex?”

“Why not?” He didn’t quite shrug. “Being in the military gives me access to the Project Shepherd files and the means to dig deeper.” Maria had to wrack her brain for a moment to remember what Project Shepherd was before remembering the massive government conspiracy into Michael and his family. 

“You’re doing this for Michael.” Maria had meant for it to be a question but it came out a statement. 

Alex paused in his movements. “Partly,” he agreed. “But I’m also doing it to undo every evil thing my family’s ever done. And because I didn’t have any particular reason not to do it.” He straightened up and turned to face her. “Look, why are you here Maria? Is there something you need?”

She stared at him for a beat before shaking her head and shrugging. “I miss you. I miss- I don’t know, I miss my friend. I know things got fucked up between us and I wanted to try and fix that.”

Alex nodded slowly. “Yeah. Things did get fucked. And- and I’d like to fix it too but I don’t think we can. At least not now.”

“So that’s it?” Maria swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat. She’d had breakups hurt less than this.

Alex ran a hand over his hair. “I don’t know, Maria. If I was staying in Roswell I’d say no, of course not, we’d fix it. But I’m leaving. And I don’t know where I’ll be posted next but I can pretty much guarantee it won’t be here.”

Maria nodded. “And after? Where will you go when your service is up? Or will you keep re-upping?”

“I don’t know. You’re asking me something that I probably won’t think about for another four years, at least.”

“Right. Sorry, I guess I don’t know. I guess I’m wondering if this is the last time we’ll ever see each other.” Maria wrapped her arms around her stomach, hugging herself lightly. “I don’t- I don’t want this to be the end of us, Alex. How can- how can we just be out of each other’s lives like this?”

Alex sat down heavily on a chair. “I don’t know, Maria.” Maria was really getting sick of hearing him say that. “I don’t feel like this is something we can fix through a phone. Maybe it’s better to just let it go. Remember the good times we had growing up.”

Maria breathed out through her nose. “I’m really fucking sick of having memories and shit else. I get- I get that Liz had to leave because of Rosa. Hell, I get that Kyle got a job he couldn’t say no to. I get that the Air Force tells you where to go and you can’t argue with that. Hell, I even get why Isobel freaking Evans split town. But what about me? Everyone’s so desperate to leave this town and all its bad memories behind while I’m still here. I’m still here and I get lumped in with the bad memories. And now you want to- to just- pretend we stopped being friends after high school?!” Maria closed her eyes. “I’m really sick of people leaving, Alex.”

Alex didn’t say anything. Eventually, she heard a shuffling sound as he got to his feet and started walking. Maria pressed her eyes closer together so she wouldn’t have to watch him walk out the door and leave her to her tears.

The arms that wrapped around her shoulders were a surprise but Maria didn’t dwell on that. She just sank into Alex’s embrace and buried her face in his shoulder as he hugged her tight.

“Y’know,” Alex began quietly after a while. “You’re not the first to point out I have a history of leaving and not staying in touch.” He paused. “I’m trying this new thing I like to call not being a shitty friend. I’m not great at it, admittedly. But I’m willing to try. If you want to.”

She nodded into his shoulder. “I do. We’re probably going to suck at it. At least at first.”

“Probably,” he agreed. “But we’re quick learners, right?”

“Right.” Her voice sounded firmer than she felt.

Alex left not long after that. Turns out, she’d shown up on his literal last day in Roswell and he couldn’t stick around or he wouldn’t make it to his next posting in time. Maria broke out the tequila and they toasted farewell to the cabin and then she helped him load up the last of his boxes before watching him drive away.

[wroughtbetwixtfanfic]

A Place To Call Home, Ch 6.

Fandom: Rosewell, New Mexico.

Summary: A canon divergent take on Roswell, New Mexico, and the relationships  between Isobel, Noah, and Rosa; later parts will shift the focus to  Michael and Alex, as well as Michael and Noah. What is it like to share a  body with another alien? Can broken trust be mended? Do the ends really  justify the means?  

Rating: M.

Tags: Canon divergence, minor  character death, not really character death, body sharing, polyamory,  hurt/comfort, addiction problems, sickfic, revenge, fix it, friends to  enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies to lovers, Noah is complicated, cw:  dubious age stuff for a little bit considering Nasedo/Noah is  who-the-hell-knows how old.

Word Count: 3936

June 8th was graduation. In two weeks and a handful of days, everything would begin to change, and neither Nasedo nor Isobel knew how. It all depended on Rosa, and what path she decided to take. They tried not to expect anything. Rosa was human, after all, and it wasn't like they'd been together all that long. Still. Extraordinary things happened sometimes, didn't they? It was obvious they had a connection. Nasedo could sense it between the three of them. Rosa seemed to love them, and they knew they loved her. Nasedo knew that love wasn't always enough. If Rosa decided she couldn't trust them enough to leave Roswell with them, there was little they could do besides wait. Wait, and hope for the best.

It was one more reason why it was essential to figure out what she knew in regards to Valenti. The man was dangerous. If she saw him as a father figure, she might fall too easily under his sway, and then it would be a one way ticket to a laboratory somewhere. But how to ask about it, without prying and rousing Rosa's suspicion? It took a bit to cook up a plan, but it was simple. Direct, without being confrontational. All it took was Isobel's beautiful smile and a little lie. "I'm doing a project," Isobel said as they lounged under the bridge. Rosa was making some new stencils, her hair pulled up out of her face in the late-spring heat; she was gorgeous, and they hated to risk spoiling the moment, but it had to be done. "It's a paper regarding the 1947 crash. That guy you were gonna go see, didn't you say his name was Valenti?" Rosa peered up. "Yeah. Jim Valenti. Why?" "Oh, curiosity's sake. I read that his father was actually there that night. I guess their family has a long history in the military." "I knew he seemed like the type, but I didn't..." Rosa frowned, leaning back and studying her fingernails. "Do you think his family had something to do with killing your people?" "We have no way of knowing for sure, but it's possible." "I had no idea. He didn't tell me anything, except that he was sheriff for a while and was an alcoholic, like me. But if he was involved..." Isobel kept her tone docile, casual. "I trust you. I know you won't tell him." The look of disgust on Rosa's face said it all. She muttered something in Spanish about cops and the military, and returned to her artwork. Nasedo and Isobel relaxed, satisfied. She hadn't known about the connection, and now that she did, she knew to be careful. At least, that's what they hoped. Nasedo had an uncanny way of knowing if someone was lying. As far as he knew, Rosa was telling the truth. Once they got out of Roswell, it wouldn't matter anymore, anyways; they'd go somewhere no one knew them, and start over. Once night fell and gave them a reprieve from the incoming summer, Isobel drove them back out to the turquoise mines. Nasedo had discovered a small cave near his own, and decided to gift it to Rosa. It was up a hill and hidden behind some rocks, with smooth walls begging to be canvases. When Rosa saw it, her eyes lit up; Nasedo knew she was thinking the same thing. "But why me?" Rosa wondered, awe in her voice as her fingers traced the fractures in the rock. "Why don't you use it?" Isobel rested a hand on Rosa's back. "Nasedo has one. I don't need it. But you like having secret spots, right? Places to go when you need to be alone? We thought maybe it would be useful when you need to escape for a while." Rosa tackled them in a tight hug. "It's perfect. Thank you." She spun away from them, running her hands along the walls. "I can paint these, have candles here, maybe put a little space for books and art supplies over there..." It took Rosa a couple days to 'move in'. Once she was ready to share, Rosa brought them to the cave; it was a little bit gothic, a little bit romantic, and it suited her perfectly. There were flowers and lyrics painted all along the walls, plush pillows along the floor, and books. Treasures. The lit candles made shadows dance along the walls. It was warm, cozy. There was a faint smell of incense in the air, and it felt like a home. "You can come here whenever you want," Rosa said as Isobel explored the space. "I get you intended it to be for me, but I like sharing with you. And I get the feeling sometimes Nasedo needs to get away from Max." Isobel let out a little snort as Nasedo chuckled from the back of her mind. "Well, you're not wrong there. Thank you." They curled up on some of the pillows with Rosa, shoulder touching as they leaned against one another. Isobel peeked over at Rosa, who was glancing at Isobel's lips. "Can I kiss you?" Rosa grinned and nodded. She slid her hand behind Isobel's neck, leaning in; it was a short kiss, affectionate and pleasant, but it left butterflies in their stomach. Isobel was poised to tease Rosa about how much she was blushing, but then Isobel caught a whiff of something on Rosa's breath. Alcohol. Faint, but there was no doubt. She'd been drinking. Before Isobel could comment, Rosa was pulling out a small atlas with cheer alight in her expression. "I've come up with a list of places I want to visit someday. Wanna see?" "Of course." Maybe I was wrong, Isobel thought to herself. Nasedo didn't agree, but Isobel refused to broach the subject. She couldn't smell it anymore, and Rosa was bubbling over traveling to California, New York, and Paris someday, and how she would take them with her. She was genuinely happy. Why ruin the mood? They would ask her about it later. The way Rosa spoke, it was like she was planning to leave Roswell with them. She didn't say anything for sure, but that was alright; there was still time until graduation, after all. In the meantime, they wrote her little notes. Sometimes it was sweet sentiments, or a little doodle, or a bit of poetry or lyrics that they thought Rosa would enjoy. They slipped the notes into her jacket pocket or the covers of the books she was packing so that she would find them later, when she was settling into her hideaway. They signed the notes 'Ophiuchus'. At first, Rosa seemed thrilled. As time went on, though, the joy on Rosa's face faded. "I have something to do after work," Rosa said when Nasedo called her one night. "Maybe we can plan for something tomorrow?" Nasedo frowned. Something was wrong; there was a note of distress in Rosa's tone. "Are you alright?" "Yeah, yeah. My dad's really getting on my nerves, you know? Let's get together tomorrow." They went to the movies the next day, with dinner after. Isobel knew Rosa well enough to see that she was distracted. Agitated. She didn't seem angry, but she did seem nervous, and jittery. Isobel caught the distinct sour, heavy scent of booze on her. They waited until they were back in the car before Nasedo took over, wording what he was about to say with every ounce of care possible. "Rosa," he said, gentling his voice, "I'm glad we got to spend time together. I noticed you've been having a hard time tonight, though. Do you want to talk?" "No. I've got it under control. I just wanna have fun tonight." "Alright. If you change your mind, I'll be here for you." "Yeah." Rosa fell silent for a time, then sighed. "I've been drinking again. I know, I know. I suck. But things have been awful, and these people are trying to push me back into dealing. They've been hounding me since prom, right? It's been hell." Nasedo resisted the urge to growl. "Who are these people?" "It's okay. I'll handle it." "But if you're relapsing--" "I said I can handle it! What are you, my father?" Opening his mouth, Nasedo shut it again. "I'm sorry, Rosa. I'm sorry that I upset you." "No, don't apologize." Rosa shook her head. "I'm sorry, too. Let's go home. I should try and get some sleep or something, maybe I'll be less cranky tomorrow." And that's how it was. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Everything would be better tomorrow, somehow, but they couldn't deny that Rosa was crashing. Something had happened, but she wouldn't tell them what. When she stopped responding to their texts, they went looking for her. Not at the school, not at work, not anywhere she'd normally be. Nasedo took them out to the turquoise mines, where they found her in her cave. She was curled up around a bottle of whiskey, half empty. "Rosa?" "Go away." Her words were slurred. "Wanna be alone." "I want to help. Please." "Can help by going away. Don't wanna talk right now." "You have been dodging us for almost a week, Rosa. How did you even get out here? There's no car." When she didn't reply, Nasedo felt a tremor of desperation. He lifted his hand and clenched it into a fist, pulling the arm back; the bottle of booze yanked from Rosa's hands and moved into his other hand. "Rosa, I can't let you destroy yourself. Please, talk to me." Rosa stared at Nasedo, her eyes suddenly sober. "What the fuck? Why did you do that?" "Because you're relapsing, hard, and I care about you too much to watch you kill yourself when we're so close to escaping from this place. It's so close to graduation." "I never said I was leaving with you." "You..." It felt like a slap in the face, but they had only been together for two months. It made sense that Rosa wasn't ready yet. "Okay. That's fair. But do you really want to stay here?" "Just get out. Leave me alone. If I need help, I'll fucking ask for it." "At least let me drive you back into town." Rosa slumped. She nodded, struggling to her feet and cursing under her breath; Nasedo reached out to steady her, but she yanked away and kept walking. They didn't speak on the way to the Crashdown. That was the way of things, though. Addicts hated confrontation, hated being made to face their addiction. They couldn't force her to let them help, so they took her to the cafe, waited for her to get inside, and left. "We'll give her a day or two to calm down," Isobel said soothingly as they got ready for bed. "I'm sure once she's slept it off, we'll be able to talk to her. There are some clinics in town. If we find a place for her to go, they might help her." "And if she won't?" "Then we love her, and support her until she chooses to accept help." Nasedo frowned, brushing out their hair. "I'm scared for her. I think, what if it was you? What if it was you, and you wouldn't let me help you? And it hurts. If I lost either of you, I'd..." "Hey. You won't lose either of us. Drugs and alcohol make you say and do some really mean things. You'll see. We'll visit her tomorrow, and things will be better." It was a comfort. It was also false. Isobel dressed them in black before they headed to the Crashdown. It made them look sleek, powerful, sexy, and they felt stronger in it. Isobel had written down the name and number of a drug and alcohol clinic nearby, and she had a speech prepared in her head. The next day was graduation, and after that they could focus fully on trying to keep Rosa safe. For now, they could at least try to talk some sense into her, if she was sober. By the time they got to the cafe, though, it was clear that things weren't going to go as planned. Standing in the back alley, Rosa was staring at her car, crying into her hands. Isobel glanced it over, realizing that someone had vandalized it. "Rosa?" "Not now." "Who did this?" "It was Kate and Jasmine. They're pissed that I stopped partying." Rosa sniffled, leaning against Isobel as she walked over. "They've been threatening to turn my dad over to ICE, and if he gets deported I don't know what we'll do." Nasedo pushed his way forward, taking over the body through pure, raw fury. "They're threatening your family? They're threatening you?" "Look, it doesn't matter. I don't I don't want Liz to see this, okay? She said that she needed the car this afternoon, and I just don't want her to worry." "At least let me help you clean it up." Her voice was odd. Cold, distant. "Don't. I'm fine. I don't need your help." "Hey. Did I do something wrong? I understand that yesterday sucked, but I didn't mean to scare you." "No, you didn't. Life just sucks. I thought Kate was my friend, but I guess I'm only her supplier. And my mom sucks, and Liz is gonna leave, and I found out that my dad..." Sighing, Rosa closed her eyes as Nasedo reached out. She let him touch her check, but then seemed to shake him off. Rosa looked up at him. She frowned, drawing away and curling her arms around herself as she backed towards the cafe. "You know, you're just, you're a lot. You're too much, and I can't... I can't handle it." Rosa turned and bolted into the cafe, the door slamming and locking behind her. Nasedo's hand still hung in the air; he dropped it to their side, staring at the spot where Rosa had stood mere moments before. She was scared. Overwhelmed. But he hadn't done anything wrong, right? He'd only been trying to help. He loved her. He'd do anything to keep her safe. Didn't she understand that? Anything. ... Anything. Nasedo turned on his heels and stormed towards their car, throwing himself behind the driver's seat and heading out to the road. He knew what he had to do. What must be done. All he had to do was find them. A Saturday night in Roswell? There was only one place. A small, pleading voice registered from the back of their mind. "Nasedo." "Quiet, Isobel." "Nasedo, whatever you're planning--" He gathered his strength and pushed her out. She didn't need to be there for this. She didn't need to see what was about to happen. She would only get in the way. Nasedo parked at the drive in movie theater, reclining in the warmth and waiting. It didn't take long, not in comparison to decades of rotting away in a pod. The horizon in the east turned dark, and the sunset in the west splashed gold and crimson and purple across the sky. That was when his attention landed on a pair of giggling, vapid humans. Smiling to himself, Nasedo got out of the car and crossed the parking lot towards them. "Hey Kate. Jasmine." Kate was the one to look over first. Her face was fair enough, but the sneer on her face revealed her ugliness. "Evans." She crossed her arms. "What do you want?" Nasedo shrugged. "Heard you were having some trouble getting your fix." "So? Aren't you friends with that little Mexican bitch?" "I thought maybe I'd help you out instead." "You?" Jasmine let out a bark of a laugh. "You do drugs?" Smiling, Nasedo twirled a lock of hair around his finger. "I know how to have a good time." The girls glanced at each other. Kate shrugged, which was all the convincing Jasmine needed. It was easy enough to lure them out into the desert, towards the mines. No one noticed two silly teenagers going off in the night. It was harder getting them to follow him, but the promise of fun proved too alluring. Well, it wasn't his fault they assumed it would be fun for them. It was almost too easy. He waited until they were ahead of him, and he used his power to twist their bones. Cut off their oxygen and blood. Jasmine was first, her neck breaking like so much glass under the sharp strike of a hammer. Kate turned in time to see it happen. Good. The horror on her face, the scent of it rushing through her energy, was electrifying. "Jasmine! What did you do to her?!" Nasedo grinned, baring his teeth as he prowled towards Kate. "The same thing I'm going to do to you." There was a moment of realization in Kate's eyes, but he flicked his wrist before she even blinked, and it was over. The air was silent. Still. Nasedo took in the sight of the bodies, trembling as he breathed in a rush of power. He'd never felt anything similar. Not that it was a psychological rush, or emotional even, but... Physical. He felt it in his body. It was like a weight lifting off his chest, or being able to breathe after struggling underwater. Something was different. But what? A sound made Nasedo pause. A sound, but farther away. It wouldn't have been audible to a human's sense of hearing, but he would recognize the sound anywhere. Crying. Distress. He turned his head towards the mines, pursing his lips. Rosa. Nasedo left the bodies where they lay, running towards Rosa's cave. Had she seen? Heard? Was she hurt? Countless scenarios went through his head. But as he got closer, the mystery only deepened. Rosa was throwing things around, growling. "What the hell? Where is it?!" She spun around when she spotted Nasedo. Her hands balled into fists, and there was fury rolling off her in waves. "Did you steal my backpack?" "We didn't steal anything from you." "You're the only ones who knew it was here! Damn it, I need to find it. Now." "I swear, we didn't take it. Why is it so important?" "Look..." Running her hands through her hair, Rosa hung her head and let out a slow exhale. "I get that you care about me, but I have to leave on my own. I need to get clean on my own. I got a ticket to go see Valenti, and I'm going to have him help me. He promised to help with my dad's citizenship, too." "Even after everything his family has done? You know what he'd do to us if he found out." "So I won't mention you. He'll help me. He's my real father, okay? He cheated with my mom, and she had me. That's why he wants to see me so bad. He's my father." The words hung in the air. Nasedo stared at Rosa, searching her face and energy for any sort of deception. None. It seemed laughable, but Rosa was avoiding his eyes. She was serious. "So you're going to trust what he says. A cheater and a liar." "I know that you don't want me to go, but I have to. I won't tell him anything, it's...I just need to figure things out in case Kate and Jasmine do something." Unwise words formed on his tongue. "What if they were out of the picture? If you didn't have to worry?" "What do you mean?" "If they were gone, would you stay?" "Gone." Rosa finally locked her gaze with his. "What do you mean by gone? What did you do to them?" Nasedo opened his mouth to answer, but he faltered. Why was it so hard to say it? It had felt so good, so right, at the time. Now he wasn't so sure. "Rosa, they wanted to hurt you. I felt it off them. So I hurt them first." Before he could say anything else, Rosa bolted. He ran after her, knowing that if she got too far outside the cave, she would see the bodies. No, no... But it was too late. She'd frozen a few yards from them, her hands covering her mouth as she let out a cry. Nasedo tried to understand, but he couldn't. She hated them. They hated her. They had planned to hurt her and her family. Why was she upset? "They're dead," Rosa choked out. She turned to him, tears in her eyes. "You killed them." "I wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep you safe." "You don't do that by murdering people!" "Please, Rosa. If they hurt you or your family when I was capable of doing something..." Nasedo stepped forward, and Rosa stepped backward. He hesitated. "You don't have to be scared of me, Rosa. I promise. Just come back, and I'll take care of this and we can talk. I'll even take you to Valenti if you want. Just come back." Rosa skittered away from the bodies, wiping her face with her hand. "Okay," she whimpered. "Okay. I'll come back with you. Let's go talk." But when she reached out to take his hand, Nasedo could feel it. Fear, disgust. Deception. "You're lying." His hand tightened around her wrist. "Why are you lying to me? What are you hiding?" "Let go of me, Nasedo." "You're going to tell him, aren't you?" "I don't know what you're talking about!" "Valenti!" Nasedo yelled, yanking Rosa to him. "You're going to run off and tell him. You promised, Rosa! You promised to keep our secret." "You killed two people! How can I trust you when you're a murderer?" "I did it for you!" Rosa struggled, scratching at him to try and get away. She was going to tell. She was going to tell, and there was only one option left. Nasedo felt his eyes sting as he pulled Rosa to his chest, one hand around her neck and the other over her mouth. She was trying to fight, but it didn't matter. He had her. It would be over soon. Isobel was fighting for control, screaming for him to stop. Oh, stars, his heart was shattering. "I did it for you," he whispered as his throat squeezed shut and tears slid down his cheeks. He didn't know if he was talking to Rosa, Isobel, or both. "Everything I did, I did for you." His hand glowed red as searing heat tore through his body, flowing into Rosa and curling through her brain and heart. One heartbeat, two, and her body went limp. Her eyes, so beautiful, gazed sightless towards the stars. Nasedo felt a sob catch in his chest, his head throbbing with pain as Isobel fought against him with everything in her. Something was changing inside them. Breaking. There was movement in front of him. A familiar form, staring at him in shock. "Isobel?" Michael called out. Nasedo's head shook, just a touch; Michael took in a sharp breath, and Nasedo sensed that he had figured it out, somehow. Michael didn't move closer, but he didn't back away, either. He just stared at Rosa's body with something like sorrow on his face. "What happened?" "She couldn't be trusted." He was losing control of the body, and so Nasedo did the only thing he knew to do. The one small, merciful thing, the last act of love he could manage before he was thrown out completely. Nasedo reached deep into Isobel's mind, and erased everything. Closing his eyes, he fell into the black pit of unconsciousness.

[a1kitkat]

Prompt: There's one night where Alex has his leg off and Michael starts to gently rub his stump and finally asks about it. And. Alex opens up about what it was like losing it and how he thought of Michael when he was in at war. Or maybe he goes into detail about his nightmares. I need some hurt/comfort Malex.

Malex Fic - Two Peas in a Pod

——————————————-

It was very late in the evening or extremely early in the morning, depending on whose definition you accepted. There was very little light in the air stream but it never bothered Michael, his vision was rather impeccable but that could just be from the years spent living like this. The weather was unbearably hot, even for New Mexico but the one small fan he owned gave minimal relief which was why the bed sheets were a tangled mess, barely covering the two naked bodies on the bed.

Michael lay awake, just listening to the gentle breaths of Alex who was fast asleep beside him. Every so often, Alex would make an odd sound, like a whimper; Michael would place his hand upon his cheek or chest and Alex would instantly settle.

The first time it had happened, Michael had asked aboutit the following morning and Alex had acted like he had no idea what he wastalking about. It started to happen more frequently but Michael had decidedagainst asking anymore questions.

 He knew he should be sleeping himself but Alex had neverstayed this late before and he was afraid if he went to sleep, he’d awaken to findAlex gone. He was staring at him when Alex made a sound unlike any he’d evermade before and he shot up in bed, arms flailing as he forgot where he was.Michael was quick to react and sat up too, wrapped his arms around Alex andheld him close. He felt feel the tremors wracking Alex’s body and started towhisper in his ear, assured him it was okay and that he wasn’t alone. It onlytook a few minutes for Alex to calm down, begin to relax and he settled inMichael’s embrace, face buried in Michael’s neck.

So Michael lay back down, pulled Alex down with him andheld him protectively in his arms until the agitated man drifted back to sleep.He gently kissed his neck, stroked his hand up and down Alex’s side, brushedhis fingers through his hair. He did everything he could think of to soothewhile he held him.

 When the sun was beginning to sneak in through thecovered windows, Michael finally separated himself from Alex but just sat up,looked down at the man sleeping beside him and gently traced his fingers up anddown Alex’s exposed thigh. He moved across his stomach and up his chest to hisnipples, teased the nub with his thumb and Alex gasped. Michael’s eyes dartedto Alex’s face, his deep eyes stared right back at him.

 “Guerin, what are you doing?” Alex asked him.

“Shhhh” he whispered “just go back to sleep”

“I can’t”

“Bad dreams?”

“Dude, you’re squeezing my nipple. Who can sleep throughthat?”

Michael smiled sheepishly then leaned down and flickedthe nipple with his tongue.

 Alex reached for him, placed a hand to his chin and urgedhim to meet him halfway. Their lips came together in a soft kiss.

“You have morning breath” Alex told him with a smile.

“Well, so do you” Michael playfully snapped back, a smirkon his own lips.

 He started to nip at Alex’s neck before teasing his ear.All the while his hand continued sound, down Alex’s thigh, down his leg to hisknee but he stopped when he felt Alex’s nervous hesitation. Michael pulled awayand looked into his wide eyes.

“Guerin-” Alex started but Michael cut him off.

“I’m not going to hurt you” he assured him.

“I… I know”

 Alex gnawed on his bottom lip while Michael’s hand softlybrushed over the stump below his knee, where his leg had once been. Michael’stouch was so gentle, tender, careful. He closed his eyes, didn’t want to watchMichael touching him.

 “You never talk about it” Michael said very softly, hisfingers tracing the scar, trying to determine how many stitches it hadrequired.

“Nothing to talk about” Alex replied, eyes still closed.

“Alex-”

“Guerin!”

 Michael looked up and was surprised to see Alex was practicallyglaring at him but he simply continued to caress the scars with the same tenderaffection as before.

“Look, I get that it’s hard to talk about” Michaelassured him.

“Because you’re such an open book when it comes to thetrauma in your life?” Alex snapped.

 Michael blinked and slowly retracted his hand which Alex immediatelyreached for.

“Yeah, I don’t talk about my leg” he stated “but you don’ttalk about your hand”

He turned Michael’s hand around for him to see the stillvisible scars on the back of his palm.

“I don’t talk about my hand because I don’t like to dwellon it” Michael explained “they’re only three people in the world who know thetruth behind this” he tried to pull free of Alex’s grasp “one’s me, one I’llnever speak to ever again and the other…” he looked into Alex’s eyes “doesn’tneed to be reminded of what an ass his father is”

“Guerin-”

“But have you talked to anyone about what happened toyou?”

“My shrink”

“Anyone else?”

“I don’t have anyone else, Guerin”

 Michael’s face fell; Alex’s words stung him deep.

“You can talk to me” he whispered “I get you don’t wantto burden Maria or Liz with this but you don’t have to go through it alone. Youcan talk about it”

 He was very surprised when he looked up and saw Alex wasblinking back tears.

“There’s nothing to talk about” Alex insisted again “becauseI don’t remember any of it”

Michael shifted so he was sitting up beside Alex and heslid his arm around his waist, hand rested upon Alex’s lower back. Alex reachedup and rubbed his eyes.

“It sounds like a cop out, I know, but it’s true” hecontinued “it was a day like any other and then shit went down. There wasyelling and screaming and gunfire and explosions everywhere then everythingjust goes dark… I woke up in a military hospital three days later and my leg wasgone”

 He reached down and rubbed his scar himself before heturned and looked at Michael through tear filled eyes.

“The doctors said I screamed in pain for hours” hecontinued “they didn’t have enough morphine at the time, were waiting onemergency supplies to come through. They couldn’t operate without them…”

Alex’s eyes were focused on his leg but his hand reachedfor Michael who grabbed it, clasped their fingers.

“The nurse said I kept calling out for someone” hecontinued “he even went through the charts to see if the person I needed wasfrom my unit but there was no one registered with the name Guerin”

 Michael felt a chill run down his spine; when Alex hadbeen in hospital, in pain, ripped apart and missing a piece of himself, theonly person he’d called for was him. He closed his eyes, could almost visualisea broken and distraught Alex calling out for him. It brought tears to his owneyes and he kept them closed to stop them from seeping out. He tightened hisgrip on Alex’s hand, felt Alex tugging at it when he opened his eyes, hewatched as Alex kissed his palm.

Michael didn’t know what to say, there wasn’t anything hecould say to ease the pain Alex had felt all those months ago but he was sovery grateful that he was telling him this now.

 “I wish I could’ve been there” Michael confessed “I could’veheld your hand and told you it would be okay”

“I never would’ve wanted you to see me like that” Alexadmitted “I was a mess… even when I came back to Roswell and was practically givena hero’s welcome… I still didn’t want you to see me”

“Alex-”

“I… I wanted you to remember me as the seventeen year oldboy who tried to kiss you in the tool shed… the guy who… the first guy you everslept with”

“Only guy” Alex frowned “it’s only ever been you, Alex”

“The point is… I wanted you to remember who we were andwhat we had back then… Not see me as the broken, disabled Vet”

 Michael reached up and placed both hands on Alex’s neck,urged him to look at him, to meet his gaze.

“You are not broken, you are not damaged” he insisted “youwill always be the guy I fell in love with in high school… Only now, instead ofeyeliner and nail polish, you’re a hero. A Decorated War Hero… You’ve beenthrough Hell, both literally and figuratively and you’re still standing tall. Hell,you lost a leg and it still hasn’t slowed you down”

“Guerin-”

“Tell me, Alex… If you could still be over there, servingyour country and making everyone proud, would you?”

“Not if it meant being away from you”

 Alex’s hand flew up to his mouth as though realizing he’dsaid something he shouldn’t. Michael just stared at him in surprise. Alexlooked away, eyes moving frantically as he tried to recover himself.

“I mean” he paused “no, I… I don’t think I could go back…Not yet… Sometimes it’s still too fresh in my mind and… Some nights… I can’tsleep”

“The nightmares” Michael added “another thing you don’ttalk about”

“Because they’re just my mind playing tricks on me…lingering side effects of what happened”

 “You know I used to have nightmares” Michael confessed “whenI was a kid, in the group home… the uh matron didn’t know how to handle me soshe got a priest to perform an exorcism on me”

“What?” Alex gasped. He’d never heard this story before. “Ona kid?”

“I was thirteen; she said I needed help… but man it hurt…A few months later, I started having flashbacks and nightmares”

“What made it stop?”

“I told Max about it, opened up to him and he justlistened… Talking about it, it sounds lame but talking to someone helps… And Iknow you’re having nightmares now because I hear you and I just want to helpyou”

 Alex reached for Michael again and took hold of his hands,fingers slowly entwining.

“The nightmares are nothing to do with my leg” headmitted “and they only started after I came back to Roswell… Once I had tostart seeing my dad all the time. It’s like, every time I turn around, there heis… and I remember all the crap he put me through, not to mention what he didto you… Three nights ago, I dreamt he tried to nail my hand to a door”

“Is that something he used to do?”

“That’s the thing… I can’t even remember anymore!” hiseyes filled with tears “my dad did so much to me for so long that when I dream,I can barely distinguish the dreams from reality”

 Michael leaned forward and placed a kiss to Alex’sforehead then another to his lips.

“This is reality” he insisted “you and me, right here,right now, in this trailer, on this very bed… the very bed we made love in lastnight and the night before…”

“Sometimes I can’t even be sure of that” Alex admitted “becauseit just seems too good to be true”

“Well it is true” Michael placed his hand on Alex’s neck,thumb brushed his cheek. “I’m here, now, and I’m always going to be here foryou”

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep”

“I didn’t make a promise, I stated a fact”

 Alex blinked back tears as he leaned forward and wrappedhis arms around Michael who immediately returned the embrace, holding Alex tightlyin his arms.

“Only you could love someone as broken and damaged as me”Alex sobbed.

“Well, it takes one to know one” Michael replied.

“Like two peas in a pod?”

Michael smiled. He really liked that analogy.

“Yeah, exactly” he agreed “two peas in a pod”

[kvjff-blog]

Joshua Ojonuba

Professor Robert Lunday

ENGL 1301

10 October 2019

The Beautiful Game

Two sprained wrists, at least four ankle sprains, couple of cuts and at least a dozen splinters: those are just some of my injuries over the last six or so years of playing competitive soccer. My injuries are on the minor side as many others suffer worse injuries that often require surgeries and months of physical therapy. Professional soccer is played by approximately two hundred and fifty million players in over two hundred countries and dependencies all around the world, making it the world's most popular sport. This does not include the millions more who play for fun, in semi pro clubs, and in amateur leagues all across the world. It would be almost impossible to imagine the amount of injuries they sustain as well as the extent of them. Seeing as the consequences and pain are so substantial, the question as to why so many people like myself play and get influenced by this sport on such a grand scale. The answer is: I don’t know, I don’t think anyone know to be fair. We all just play no matter the cost; the game is all. I remember reading an article about Ada Hegerberg, who is regarded as one of if not the best women’s soccer players alive. In the article she was asked why she even played since she had opted to sit out the women’s world cup for her country. She responded, "Playing football can be damn harsh, but every day is a fight.” reading this the first time I thought to myself, if it is as harsh as you say why not just quit playing? As I look back now I am able reflect on her statement, and I realize that we are similar. Never once while I played did I think about quitting, through the many injuries, through the long draining practices, through the failures and let downs, I fought through. Like Ada and many others I kept on going necessarily because I wanted to but more so because I had to; quitting never seemed like an option as least not one that crossed my mind.

Soccer has been a major factor in my life probably ever since I was a little baby especially after experiencing the major soccer atmosphere in Lagos, Nigeria, where I was born and raised. In fact my earliest memory of the sport was maybe in 2006 during the world cup. It was the qualification stages against Angola, and Nigeria desperately needed a win to qualify for the most famous and prestigious tournament in all of sporting history. When I was a kid in Nigeria, power outages were extremely common as Nigeria was and still is going through a power supply crisis. So it came as no surprise when suddenly in the middle of the game there was a power outage. Because this was an everyday occurrence we had a phase for it - “down nepa”, and when the lights would come back up we would yell “up nepa”. I had never witnessed a sense of community like I saw that day. As soon as the power went out, we immediately rushed out to the industrial generator out back like we always do. After about five minutes of tussling with the generator, struggling, trying to get it started, there was finally a spark visible through the window of the back room. By this time there had been a crowd formed behind us, seemingly the entire neighborhood was behind us cheering at the sight of light. Apparently we were the only household with enough gasoline to power their generator. “Ta lo fe wo ball”, my aunt said in her native Yoruba; she was asking who was ready to watch some ball or football. Which brings me to the question of why it’s called soccer in the U.S.A instead of football like it is everywhere else in the world, it’s like Americans always have to one up everyone else; anyway, I digress. Seeing as we were the only household with power and our TV was definitely not big enough for the magnitude of people that had now gathered expecting a game of soccer. Luckily one of the families in the neighborhood had a flat screen which in retrospect could not have been very big but it was definitely bigger than anything we or anyone within maybe the next three miles did. With our always reliable generator and the newly found TV, we were all ready to witness Nigeria do us proud and make it to the world cup for another year in a row. Even though the rest of the game was boring and disappointing with Nigeria losing one to zero to an admittedly much stronger and experienced squad in Angola, the moment of community and coming together is what makes it a memorable. Year after year, game after game, support poured in from all over the neighborhood. Nigeria vs. Ghana, Nigeria vs. Argentina, Nigeria vs. Brazil, Nigeria vs. Mexico, every lost seemly just as enjoyable as a win. These are the memories that I’ll keep forever, the memories of love, joy, peace and innocence during a time that would otherwise be considered bad or at the very least not ideal.

There is a famous quote that I along with numerous other soccer fans have heard that goes “you play soccer anywhere, you play soccer everywhere” the phase actually says “football” but for the purposes of this we’ll say soccer. The game is simple, right? Score and do not get scored on. The Truth is: yes, it is simple; but the difficult part is what’s left unsaid, the little things that make the game just so beautiful. The buildup, the passionate moments, the joy, the rivalries; these are all things that every fan and player all across the world can relate to. They have been numerous stories of soccer saving communities and bringing people together because as they say no matter how you’re raised or what culture you subscribe to, just like people are people soccer is soccer always. I remember reading a story about one of my favorite soccer players ever, Didier Drogba; unfortunately people from Africa are used to hearing stories of and even experiencing war or civil unrest. Even with him being from the Ivory Coast, where they had gone through extreme civil unrest, he was always representing his home country. "Come to Abidjan, Alex. You will not be disappointed.” he was quoted as saying to a reporter asking about his native country.   Civil war had been happening for five years in the ivory coast when, right after leading his nation to the 2006 World Cup finals in Germany back in October 2005, he picked up a microphone given to him by a reporter in the dressing room and, surrounded by his team-mates, he fell to his knees live on national television. He begged both fighting sides to lay down their guns and, within a week, his wish had been granted. "It was just something I did instinctively," he said. "All the players hated what was happening to our country and reaching the World Cup was the perfect emotional wave on which to ride." Didier Drogba proved exactly what I have been saying about the power and passion soccer brings into the lives of its fans. In front of everyone in the world and his native people, he got on his knees and pleaded for peace. I can’t think of any other sports that could possibly do that, five years of deadly civil war, ended just like that. As a fellow African watching this unfold on TV, this further inspired me as well as other young African kids to play.

In 2011, when I moved to Houston, I went from merely watching soccer being played to actually playing it. Besides the occasional after school sessions of just the kicking of a peeled over leathery ball, I was never able to fully experience the true essence of the sport. Because not only was it hard to find a suitable environment to play but finding a ball was also almost always impossible as well. Going into middle school I knew that although we did not have a proper team I wanted to be a soccer player, if not professional (I knew at this point I surely could not be a professional player) then at least I could be competitive within the local club or school scene. After I somehow survived three long years in middle school without a sport to play it was finally high school and I would get a chance to play. Quotes like Tony Adams’ - “Play for the name on the front of the shirt, and they will remember the name on the back” played back over and over in my head. At the time it almost seemed like making my high school JV b team was at all comparable to the years of years he spent on top of the sport.

Who is Tony Adams, you may ask? Well my dear, dear reader, Tony Adams is without a doubt the best captain arsenal football club has ever seen in all its 133 years of being a top tier team.  He was not only one of the reasons I became an arsenal fan but he influenced almost every part of my soccer career. I found myself studying almost everything he did in his prime, looking to emulate even the slightest bit of success from his greatness. I guess looking back now I think it’s clear to me that I desperately wanted to become someone better than I was. Someone more confident, more secure, maybe even just someone different than I was. I essentially tried copying every aspect of his playing style, even incorporating his celebrations as well. If I’m being honest I still sometimes have that feeling of wanting to be someone else other than myself, although not as much as I used to. Honestly I believe playing competitively really forced me to legitimately discover who I was and be comfortable as myself. That being one of many reasons why I would recommend everyone participating in some kind of sport or physical activity. Not to mention the atmosphere and relationships I created along the way.

I find that there is a certain unique sense of community with soccer that just isn’t present in any other activity on the planet, or at least not one I have participated in. Now I do not claim to be some sort of super athletic multi-sport champion but I have played my share of sports and been in quite a few communities. I have played basketball and football, been involved in concert band, art club and even science club. In my humble opinion, in terms of love and support expressed in each community they all pale in comparison to this beautiful beautiful game. In fact the only good comparison that I’ve found seems to be within the jujutsu and kickboxing community which oddly enough is less violence orientated as you would think by just taking a glance in. predictably I have been enjoying the martial arts mainly for the community to the point where it has begun to be almost a religion like soccer was and still is.

Soccer or football (as it’s more commonly called in other countries) is of course a way of life in almost every country all over the world, but more than that I would say it is a religion of sorts. The U.S. is one of the very few places soccer is not hallowed so it is perfectly understandable that some people do not understand the extent of the love people have for this sport. This is the part where I would try drawing a connection to another sport, American football or baseball maybe? Truth is I would hesitate to compare soccer worldwide to any sport as a matter of fact, not just popular American sports. In my experience American football and baseball defiantly have an extremely loyal fan base, but the fans are naturally fickle at times even sometimes changing and switching over between teams. However soccer fans, real soccer fans at least, are often born into their respective team and stay loyal all the way till death. Just like any other religion switching over to another religion (or club in this case) is highly frowned upon and potentially even dangerous. Like most all religions throughout the history mankind, intense rivalries are an ever present theme usually dependent on proximity to the rival club as well as any minor disagreements that may or may not have occur somewhere buried deep in the history of both clubs. As an arsenal fan, of course I despise our rival club, the Tottenham Hotspur, although I will admitted that there are a couple of Tottenham players I enjoy watching and sometimes even root for. I think the first time I ever thought of soccer as like a religion was when I randomly ran into a you tube video comparing Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, two players widely considered two of the best to ever play. The video creator spends the beginning portion of the video comparing both their stats for the past 12 years as well as their respected following. He then goes on for what seemed like eternity talking about sportsmanship and how well they have both individually represented the sport. Finally, at the end of the video, he comes up with the conclusion that although the two players are absolutely the best to ever lace up their boots and step onto the field, Messi is the greatest. In his words, “Messi in all his glory is the God of football, with Ronaldo sharing his glory as Jesus or Muhammad”. This seems to have stuck in my subconscious, only revealing itself now after a couple of years after going mainly unnoticed by me at the time.

Before I started writing this memoir I would have never thought that I had this much to say about soccer especially since it is not as much a part of my life as it’s been in the past. I guess in a lot of ways I have changed and evolve into what I would consider a better, more self-actualized version of myself. With that being said, I think it makes sense that soccer isn’t as important to me; it has served its purpose in my life and I’m sure it will continue to. I am forever grateful to this beautiful game and all the wonderful memoirs it brought into my life.      

 Afterword.

The honest truth is at the beginning of this memoir I was not really going to try as hard as I maybe could have. I was procrastinating, only waiting till the last minute to finish each installments that was due. I think I was thinking about it just as a class project I just had to get done instead of an interest project. After the turning in the first installment of this memoir and getting back the feedback, I began using my free time to write and combine the texts. It is amazing how much I've retained over my many years of playing and watching soccer. it was really interesting bringing back the memories and ideas I had lodged somewhere in my mind. I think by actually caring about this project and the subject, I was able to not only dive deeper but also articulate better.    

[viktcria-blog]

stellaluna • viktoria “vik” • aaland s u l l i v a n

icy breezes float across naked flesh as melodies coated in melancholia float across stale air. useless factoids trail across their mind, she traces patterns against florals sitting in tepid water. she strokes the neck of an empty champagne bottle, shatters it against marble. they say it’s all too much, the thought beckons bumps to rise against her skin.

d e m o g r a p h i c s

full name: stellaluna viktoria “vik” aaland

age: twenty-one 

sexuality: bisexual 

gender: demiwoman / she & they

major & minor: psychology ( major ) & anthropology ( minor )

♪ icy — kim petras

family • history • connections • plots  under the cut & exhaustive

f a m i l y

                father ( adoptive / deceased )                                   mother ( adoptive )                    peter aaland ( sol invictus )                             camille aaland ( née bordelais )

                                                    grandmother ( adoptive )                                      vikoria “angelique” bordelais ( née eriksson )

( cancer / death tw for everything below this warning )

• their father was a musician who went by the alias “sol invictus” ( after the roman sun god ), his band, invincible, was extremely successful in the late eighties / early nineties and has some classics ( the most helpful comparison i have for sol is kurt cobain mixed with alex turner and flung back to the 90s. )

he was diagnosed with cancer when vik was a child, and became involved with a faith healer and his cult ( the sun’s chosen children ) before his death. after his death, there was a vicious battle over his estate, as he left everything to the cult and its manipulative leader. this is a dark chapter of vik’s life, and she didn’t entirely understand what was going on due to her young age, just that her father was dead and it ruined her mother. sol’s involvement with the chosen children was the subject of much tabloid gossip, and so was the legal battle.

• her mother was a model and the daughter of a swedish-french film star ( the original viktoria ) who married an “english screenwriter with a french name.” camille is very fond of horses and horse racing and has spent large parts of her life on stud farms ( including her own parents’ stud in england, where her mother retired to ), and currently lives on one in mexico, somewhat close to mexico city.

• viktoria is adopted, she was born in sweden  ( which both of her adoptive parents had a connection to ) and placed for adoption by her birth parents shortly after. they don’t particularly care to know anything about their birth parents, and haven’t made any effort to seek them out. they were adopted when they were two years old, so they retain some vague memories of the orphanage, but they can’t speak swedish anymore.

h i s t o r y

places lived

stockholm ( childhood )

tokyo ( childhood )

los angeles / new york city ( childhood )

oxfordshire ( childhood / as a teenager )

mexico city / valley of mexico ( as a teenager )

paris ( to attend the paris opera’s ballet academy, as a teenager )

important / helpful information

being a rockstar’s child had its difficulties and successes. vik was always the coolest child in any given room ( at least, by default ) but she spent most of her childhood in impermanent places: tokyo ( two years while sol & invincible were recording a reunion album ), los angeles and nyc ( whenever her father’s profession demanded it ), oxfordshire with her mother and grandmother, stockholm for a few years post-adoption. they never made many real friends, and cultivated a reputation for being just like silk ( pretty and difficult to hold onto ) over time. they’re used to being alone.

dancing, particularly classical ballet, was their first love. they took their first class in tokyo when they were still very young, and they were good. when she was dancing, vik wasn’t someone else’s child, she was her own person, with her own passions. after their father’s death, their mother became despondent ( especially as the legal battle was lost ) and they needed to get away, so they used some of their talent and a lot of nepotism to audition for the paris opera’s ballet academy ( one of the best in the world. ) not that they’ll admit to the nepotism. from age 12-17 vik lived alone in paris, attending the academy and going by her mother’s maiden name ( bordelais ) in order to deny any connection to their father. 

vik stopped dancing when she was 18, after she moved back in with her mother after her grandmother’s death ( without her, her mother would have been completely alone, so it was necessary, and repayment for the five years of freedom she had been afforded. ) but dancing remains their first, and currently only, love, and she still does it. just not under the eyes of any teacher.

their gender expression is hyper feminine ( lots of glitter and neon ) but this doesn’t mean they’re a woman. vik identifies as demigender ( specifically a demiwoman / demigirl ) and came to the realisation that she was not fully comfortable with her identity was a girl for the first time after her father’s death. they don’t particularly care to explain it more than “you can be feminine without being female.” anyone who comes into proximity of her is aware of her pronouns and identification. 

they didn’t want to go to providence. when they were applying, they were disgusted by the enormous wealth and privilege that surrounded them ( nevermind how often she uses hers ) and found it repulsive. but providence was the best school and the easiest to bribe, and in the end, the college was very, very far from mexico city.

in their first semester, they mostly kept to themself, keeping their head down so no one would ask questions about who they were or where they came from. but in her second semester, vik started performing again: she had a third story window, a highly fuckable toned body, and she missed ballet. egged on enough times by partygoers struggling through snow or melt, they would take to their window, a silhouette of a person, smooth bare skin and mystery. performing became parties. parties became more parties. being a partygoer became being sol invictus’ child.

they’re in a constant state of reinvention. are they a good student, or just rich and the child of someone famous ? does she like the endless bacchanalia and orgiastic weekdays, or is it all she knows at this school ? what the fuck is vik going to do with themself after graduating with the degree they don’t care about ? don’t ask.

tldr no one understands what she’s doing, let alone her. & they have a reputation as the person to go to for a party.

c o n n e c t i o n s  ( q u i c k f i r e )

champagne prince(ss): someone vik parties with, possibly a procurer of illicit substances, they have a soft spot ( possibly romantic ) for them

twisted sibling: horribly toxic relationship that consists mostly of egging each other on and fucking each other up 

cheat sheet: vik doesn’t like to study, so they’re her go-to “study partner.” aka, the person she bribes to help her ( aka.... write her papers for her )

invincible ? don’t know them: someone who’s a fan of vik’s father’s band / knows all the gossip and is intrigued by why it was like to grow up as sol’s child

no danes allowed: international kids club ? ( aside: idk what citizenship vik even has lol ? i just realised this ! )

p l o t s 

cause of you, now my heart is so icy ( former lover / enemy / angst / pining / fuck it )

vik’s first real relationship, started at providence, probably in second year ? very intense, ended really, really badly ( think public shouting matches. ) occasionally, always, in moments of weakness, they miss this person immensely, and considering going back / taking them back. she doesn’t even remember why it ended in the first place, at this point. ( but some part of vik also knows it will end in the same fiery crash if they try again. )

this could also be platonic because losing friends ? painful.

gave me something to believe in  ( member of or close to / fascinated by the sun’s chosen children cult )

for the most part, the cult that their mother is certain played a role in killing their father hasn’t played a role in vik’s life in years ( beside camille aaland’s refusal to say its name of the name of its leader. ) but new york is a big place, and the internet is strange and vast, so this plot involves someone who is a member of, or close to someone who is a member of, or is interested in the sun’s chosen children ( a “self help group” dedicated to spiritual healing and the abandonment of modern medicine, in actuality a cult. ) vik still carries a lot of resentment for what they did to her mother and some small part of them fears the chosen children. so living / partying / studying in close proximity to someone who is involved with them is probably not going to end well.

don’t search me in here, i’m already gone baby ( “perfect match” / counterpart / mystery )

someone vik is highly interested in ( platonically / romantically / sexually / whatever, 22 year olds are dumb ). they feel like every time they try to get close to this person, they slip away, which is something vik has a lot of practice doing herself. she doesn’t like it being turned back on her, and she’s starting to run out of patience for them.

... but not yet. 

i ain’t ever gonna settle ( patron / private shows / throwing parties so one person will come / ideal / disaster in the making )

dancing is such a big part of vik’s life, and stopping their dance career may be one of the few things they actually regret. this person is vik’s “dance partner” and “patron”, someone who always encourages her to dance for / with them ( sometimes in private, wink, but as always this could be platonic ) and whose approval she craves for no reason she could name. they’re stumbling towards being dependent on this person, and it’s not going to end well, but for right now, it’s passionate and full of feelings and admiration and divine adoration. 

[gdwessel]

Fighting Spirit Unleashed 2019 Night 1 - 9/27/2019; Rush, Dragon Lee Fired By CMLL, How This May Affect NJPW; Where Are Kawato & Oka?; Tonight’s NJPW on AXS: Double Header

The three night East Coast tour Fighting Spirit Unleashed began last night. There was a title match on that show, and we begin to say goodbye to Tiger Hattori.

Fighting Spirit Unleashed 2019 - 9/27/2019, Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, MA

Karl Fredericks d. Alex Coughlin (Elevated Half-Crab, 8:47)

Lance Archer [SZKG] d. Ren Narita (EBD Claw, 7:23) 

Juice Robinson & Mikey Nicholls [CHAOS] d. TJP [FREE] & Clark Connors (NIcholls > Connors, Mikeybomb, 8:04)

Chase Owens & Jado [Bullet Club] d. Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson [FREE] (Owens > Morton, Package Driver, 9:10)

Tomohiro Ishii [CHAOS] & Amazing Red [FREE] d. Shingo Takagi & BUSHI [Los Ingobernables] (Ishii > BUSHI, Vertical Drop Brainbuster, 8:48)

Hirooki Goto, YOSHI-HASHI & Rocky Romero [CHAOS] d. Jay White, KENTA & Gedo [Bullet Club] (YOSHI-HASHI > Gedo, Butterfly Lock, 12:28)

IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship: Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa [Bullet Club] © d. SHO & YOH [CHAOS] (Tonga > YOH, Gunstun, 16:43) - GOD succeed their 7th defense

Kazuchika Okada [CHAOS], Kota Ibushi & Hiroshi Tanahashi d. SANADA, EVIL & Tetsuya Naito [Los Ingobernables] (Tanahashi > Naito, Ground Cobra Twist, 20:26)

Naito doing the job here seems a bit shit but Naito doesn’t have a title match to look like a contender for coming up either. Guerrillas of Destiny continue to hang on to the titles and let’s face it will do so until WK14 where they will be beaten by the eventual World Tag League winners. The tag division is trash and GOD are the face of it now. The match may end up on NJPWWorld on tape delay eventually. Chase Owens pins his trainer Ricky Morton, and the Rock’n’Roll Express lose their NJPW debut match. His partner in the match, Jado is 51 years old today.

In the wee hours of the night, something rather major happened behind the scenes in CMLL.

Firstly, Rush defeated Matt Taven at Ring of Honor’s Death Before Dishonor PPV to become the first-ever Mexican ROH World Champion, with his brother Dragon Lee and father La Bestia del Ring (and son, above) in attendance. Rumors had been flying for weeks about Dragon Lee’s status in home promotion CMLL, stemming from Dragon Lee disobeying a directive from CMLL to not work Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s Battle of Los Angeles last weekend (Barbaro Cavernario was also booked for BOLA, but did withdraw his participation under that same directive; the reason given, is CMLL is once again considering both Pentagon Jr./Penta el 0M and Rey Fenix as AAA wrestlers once more so they are forbidding wrestlers from working with them). From this, Dragon Lee was pulled from CMLL’s 86th Aniversario, which also ran last night.

Within the hour of Rush winning the ROH title, Rush posted a video on his Twitter announcing both he and La Bestia del Ring were now independent wrestlers, and indeed both KAOZ Lucha and The Crash have announced Rush as working there soon as El Toro Blanco, as CMLL own the Rush trademark. Not long after THAT, CMLL tweeted out that they have fired both Rush and Dragon Lee. Dragon Lee posted on Facebook he was devastated by this, and indeed this really seems to be retaliatory. There are reports he may be working ROH’s TV taping tonight. Dragon Lee was also CMLL’s Welterweight champion at the time of his release.

I will stop right here and say that friend of the show/blog TheCubsFan posted a podcast with Rob Viper late last night summarizing this situation and you should listen to it; it’s only 40 minutes, but packed with information.

But it should go without saying that both Rush and Dragon Lee were pretty integrated in their way with New Japan as well. Dragon Lee especially has been pretty popular in NJPW, and of course his story is very well tied in to that of Hiromu Takahashi, and indeed Hiromu tweeted at Dragon Lee this morning. There are reports he was due to be in the upcoming Super Junior Tag League, presumably paired with another CMLL wrestler. but who knows if that can or will happen now. It’s become very murky politically. NJPW could outright sign Dragon Lee (or whatever he calls himself now -- there are reports of Toro Rojo being a possibility) if all parties agree, but he could also go to WWE, or somewhere else. 

It all kinda depends on how strong the relationship between NJPW and CMLL is at this point and whether NJPW values CMLL or Dragon Lee more. There have been signs of strain between NJPW and its partners, ROH and CMLL; the ROH relationship has been the more obviously strained, especially since G1 Supercard at MSG, where ROH’s contributions were, frankly, absolute shite. However, other than Fantasticamania (which is usually a great payday for the visiting luchadors) and appearances in Best of the Super Juniors and Super J-Cup, there doesn’t seem to be much going on with the CMLL relationship right now. The last couple of excursions ended suddenly and without notice, as when Sho Tanaka & Yohei Komatsu were Raijin & Fujin and then... weren’t (Hirai Kawato, I discuss below). Shota Umino and Ren Narita both are on excursion now, but neither went to CMLL, where before it was assured at least one would. Jushin Thunder Liger appeared at Arena Mexico this summer for a retirement show, but Liger is able to make his own bookings without NJPW’s involvement (which is how Liger was able to wrestle Tyler Breeze at the 2015 NXT Takeover in Brooklyn). Consider that around this time last year, Kazuchika Okada, Tetsuya Naito, EVIL & BUSHI all made appearances in Arena Mexico. This year, there were no NJPW wrestlers at the CMLL Grand Prix, where usually there is at least one or two, even if it were the likes of Michael Elgin, Satoshi Kojima, or even David Finlay. As NJPW broaden their global profile on their own, there seems to be a gradual withdrawal from their partners. As I said, which do NJPW value more, a continued partnership with CMLL, or Dragon Lee on their roster?

Then there’s the other elephant in the room: the status of Los Ingobernables. Straight up, CMLL own the trademark, and always have. There’s a CMLL trademark on LIJ shirts. The unit started in CMLL, between Rush, La Sombra and La Mascara. La Sombra is now Andrade Cien Almas in WWE, and the other two have been fired for various reasons. Los Ingobernables as a functional thing in CMLL is now dead, unless they want to do the typical lucha promotion business where they just shellac other wrestlers onto a popular gimmick after the original wrestler(s) behind said gimmick leave - indeed, it’s how Rush & Dragon Lee’s brother became the second Mistico. (His status is unknown, assumed not leaving, but who knows. If he does, Caristico can reassume the Mistico identity, which would make the Arena Mexico crowd happy.) There is a possibility that CMLL could keep Los Ingobernables alive with Terrible and some others, but I can guess how well that’s going to go over. 

Los Ingobernables de Japon has to end, at some point. It’s just inevitable. Rush is still in ROH until at least 2020, so there is a possibility that Naito and the boys will reunite with Rush (although the last few times Rush and LIJ members were on the same ROH cards, they deliberately kept them apart, even at meet & greets). If the NJPW and CMLL relationship is starting to disintegrate, a very large part of NJPW’s current identity, and merch money, will be going away soon. Rush being shown the door by itself doesn’t mean LIJ is over just yet. It is not the first time the NJPW branch of a famous stable outlasted its home company. But this could be the harbinger of that unit coming to an end, until LIJ goes into its TEAM2000 phase.

Long story short, shit is wild, and complicated, and political, and who knows what ripples this pebble in the river will produce.

Above, I mentioned Hirai Kawato and his excursion in CMLL as Kawato San. I’ve been teasing a piece for weeks, and, well, here it is. 

Hirai Kawato has not worked a match since 7/28/2019, a Sunday night show at Arena Mexico, teaming with Dark Magic & Misterioso Jr. in a losing effort v. Rey Cometa, Flyer & Dulce Gardenia. Prior to that, on 6/30/2019, Kawato had bested Audaz to win the CMLL World Super Lightweight title vacated by (ironically) Dragon Lee. Since then... nothing. 

Apparently, according to TheCubsFan (him again), Kawato got seriously ill and had to go back to Japan for recovery. There’s been no official word about his status at all, including whether or not he will return to Mexico. It’s a real shame, as his excursion looked to finally be working, evidenced by getting a title, and it looked like they might begin an actual program with Audaz, but such is not to be right now. I hope he is recovering OK, no matter what happens next for him, as it sounded serious enough for him to go home.

Tomoyuki Oka is another one who’s been MIA. Last seen in RevPro UK under the gimmick of Dominator Great O-Kharn, Oka has not wrestled a match since his appearance as the only Japanese talent at the ill-fated New Beginning USA shows, beating Harlem Bravado on 2/2/2019 in Nashville. There is even less info about his whereabouts - his last tweet was on 3/4/2019, advertising the NBUSA shows on NJPWWorld. (FWIW, Kawato’s last tweet was on 7/26, and last Instagram post was on 7/3.) 

I wish I had more, but I simply don’t; I don’t have sources or anything like that. But it’s a little disconcerting when not one but two Young Lions have gone missing in action whilst away. Makes you wonder what the future holds for Shooter and Ren.

(Whilst we’re here - David Finlay is still recovering from injury and surgery. He is still pretty active on social media.)

Ideally I should’ve posted this earlier but there were no posts and we’re here now. After taking last week off, NJPW on AXS returns tonight with a double header of episodes, all taking place from various Destruction shows from a couple of weeks ago. Advertised matches are:

9pm EDT / 8pm CDT - RevPro Undisputed British Heavyweight Championship: Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) v. Zack Sabre Jr., Destruction in Beppu, Oita Beppu B-Con Plaza, 9/15/2019 10pm EDT / 9pm CDT - Tokyo Dome IWGP Heavyweight Challenge Rights: Kota Ibushi v. KENTA, Destruction in Kagoshima, Kagoshima Arena, 9/16/2019

There will be other matches as these alone are not enough to fill an hour of TV each. It’s also preceded by an all-new WOW Women of Wrestling. Incidentally, it looks like AXS’s new owners Anthem are moving their own wrestling company, Impact, to Tuesdays later this month, so there is some assurance of them not actively messing with NJPW, at least, not yet.

Of course, you are spoiled for choice of watching NJPW tonight, as tonight’s FIghting Spirit Unleashed show from the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC is live on NJPWWorld. Show starts at 7pm EDT. Once again we have a title match tonight, too, although... let’s face it, we know who’s winning this.

- 9/28/2019, Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, NY (NJPWWorld)

Ren Narita v. TJP [FREE]

Karl Fredericks v. Lance Archer [SZKG]

Juice Robinson & Mikey Nicholls [CHAOS] v. Clark Connors & Alex Coughlin

Rocky Romero, SHO & YOH [CHAOS] v. Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Jado [Bullet Club]

Hiroshi Tanahashi, Ricky Morton [FREE] & Robert Gibson [FREE] v. Tetsuya Naito, Shingo Takagi & BUSHI [Los Ingobernables]

Hirooki Goto [CHAOS], Tomohiro Ishii [CHAOS] & Amazing Red [FREE] v. Jay White, Chase Owens & Gedo [Bullet Club]

NEVER Openweight Championship: KENTA [Bullet Club] © v. YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS]

Kazuchika Okada [CHAOS] & Kota Ibushi v. SANADA & EVIL [Los Ingobernables]

[hillaryisaboss]

8/25/2016: Hillary was the first to call out Trump's racist history and dog whistling to racists.

This speech should be required viewing. Required reading. The woman who got 3 million more votes called it. She was 100% right. She had the crystal ball. If only a few more of us had listened.

This speech needs to be burned into our memories forever:

"After all, it’s hard to believe anyone – let alone a nominee for President of the United States – could really believe all the things he says.

But the hard truth is, there’s no other Donald Trump. This is it.

Maya Angelou once said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Well, throughout his career and this campaign, Donald Trump has shown us exactly who he is. We should believe him."

~Hillary Rodham Clinton; 8/25/2016

She warned us.

"Everywhere I go, people tell me how concerned they are by the divisive rhetoric coming from my opponent in this election.

It’s like nothing we’ve heard before from a nominee for President of the United States.

From the start, Donald Trump has built his campaign on prejudice and paranoia.

He’s taking hate groups mainstream and helping a radical fringe take over one of America’s two major political parties.

His disregard for the values that make our country great is profoundly dangerous.

...

It takes a lot of nerve to ask people he’s ignored and mistreated for decades, “What do you have to lose?” The answer is everything!

Trump’s lack of knowledge or experience or solutions would be bad enough.

But what he’s doing here is more sinister.

Trump is reinforcing harmful stereotypes and offering a dog whistle to his most hateful supporters.

It’s a disturbing preview of what kind of President he’d be.

This is what I want to make clear today:

A man with a long history of racial discrimination, who traffics in dark conspiracy theories drawn from the pages of supermarket tabloids and the far reaches of the internet, should never run our government or command our military.

If he doesn’t respect all Americans, how can he serve all Americans?

Now, I know some people still want to give Trump the benefit of the doubt.

They hope that he will eventually reinvent himself – that there’s a kinder, gentler, more responsible Donald Trump waiting in the wings somewhere.

After all, it’s hard to believe anyone – let alone a nominee for President of the United States – could really believe all the things he says.

But the hard truth is, there’s no other Donald Trump. This is it.

Maya Angelou once said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Well, throughout his career and this campaign, Donald Trump has shown us exactly who he is. We should believe him.

When Trump was getting his start in business, he was sued by the Justice Department for refusing to rent apartments to black and Latino tenants.

Their applications would be marked with a “C” – “C” for “colored” – and then rejected.

Three years later, the Justice Department took Trump back to court because he hadn’t changed.

The pattern continued through the decades.

State regulators fined one of Trump’s casinos for repeatedly removing black dealers from the floor. No wonder the turn-over rate for his minority employees was way above average.

And let’s not forget Trump first gained political prominence leading the charge for the so-called “Birthers.”

He promoted the racist lie that President Obama isn’t really an American citizen – part of a sustained effort to delegitimize America’s first black President.

In 2015, Trump launched his own campaign for President with another racist lie. He described Mexican immigrants as rapists and criminals.

And he accused the Mexican government of actively sending them across the border. None of that is true.

Oh, and by the way, Mexico’s not paying for his wall either.

If it ever gets built, you can be sure that American taxpayers will be stuck with the bill.

Since then, there’s been a steady stream of bigotry.

We all remember when Trump said a distinguished federal judge born in Indiana couldn’t be trusted to do his job because, quote, “He’s a Mexican.”

Think about that.

The man who today is the standard bearer of the Republican Party said a federal judge was incapable of doing his job solely because of his heritage.

Even the Republican Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, described that as “the textbook definition of a racist comment.”

To this day, he’s never apologized to Judge Curiel.

But for Trump, that’s just par for the course.

This is someone who retweets white supremacists online, like the user who goes by the name “white-genocide-TM.” Trump took this fringe bigot with a few dozen followers and spread his message to 11 million people.

His campaign famously posted an anti-Semitic image – a Star of David imposed over a sea of dollar bills – that first appeared on a white supremacist website.

The Trump campaign also selected a prominent white nationalist leader as a delegate in California. They only dropped him under pressure.

When asked in a nationally televised interview whether he would disavow the support of David Duke, a former leader of the Ku Klux Klan, Trump wouldn’t do it. Only later, again under mounting pressure, did he backtrack.

And when Trump was asked about anti-Semitic slurs and death threats coming from his supporters, he refused to condemn them.

Through it all, he has continued pushing discredited conspiracy theories with racist undertones.

Trump said thousands of American Muslims in New Jersey cheered the 9/11 attacks. They didn’t.

He suggested that Ted Cruz’s father was involved in the Kennedy assassination. Perhaps in Trump’s mind, because he was a Cuban immigrant, he must have had something to do with it. Of course there’s absolutely no evidence of that.

Just recently, Trump claimed President Obama founded ISIS. And then he repeated that nonsense over and over.

His latest paranoid fever dream is about my health. All I can say is, Donald, dream on.

This is what happens when you treat the National Enquirer like Gospel.

It’s what happens when you listen to the radio host Alex Jones, who claims that 9/11 and the Oklahoma City bombings were inside jobs. He said the victims of the Sandy Hook massacre were child actors and no one was actually killed there.

Trump didn’t challenge those lies. He went on Jones’ show and said: “Your reputation is amazing. I will not let you down.”

This man wants to be President of the United States.

I’ve stood by President Obama’s side as he made the toughest decisions a Commander-in-Chief ever has to make.

In times of crisis, our country depends on steady leadership… clear thinking… and calm judgment… because one wrong move can mean the difference between life and death.

The last thing we need in the Situation Room is a loose cannon who can’t tell the difference between fact and fiction, and who buys so easily into racially-tinged rumors.

Someone detached from reality should never be in charge of making decisions that are as real as they come.

It’s another reason why Donald Trump is simply temperamentally unfit to be President of the United States.

Now, some people will say that his bluster and bigotry is just over-heated campaign rhetoric – an outrageous person saying outrageous things for attention.

But look at the policies Trump has proposed. They would put prejudice into practice.

And don’t be distracted by his latest attempts to muddy the waters.

He may have some new people putting new words in his mouth… but we know where he stands.

He would form a deportation force to round up millions of immigrants and kick them out of the country.

He’d abolish the bedrock constitutional principle that says if you’re born in the United States, you’re an American citizen. He says that children born in America to undocumented parents are, quote, “anchor babies” and should be deported.

Millions of them.

And he’d ban Muslims around the world – 1.5 billion men, women, and children –from entering our country just because of their religion.

Think about that for a minute. How would it actually work? People landing in U.S. airports would line up to get their passports stamped, just like they do now.

But in Trump’s America, when they step up to the counter, the immigration officer would ask every single person, “What is your religion?”

And then what?

What if someone says, “I’m a Christian,” but the agent doesn’t believe them.

Do they have to prove it? How would they do that?

Ever since the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock, America has distinguished itself as a haven for people fleeing religious persecution.

Under Donald Trump, America would distinguish itself as the only country in the world to impose a religious test at the border.

Come to think of it, there actually may be one place that does that. It’s the so-called Islamic State. The territory ISIS controls. It would be a cruel irony if America followed its lead.

Don’t worry, some will say, as President, Trump will be surrounded by smart advisors who will rein in his worst impulses.

So when a tweet gets under his skin and he wants to retaliate with a cruise missile, maybe cooler heads will be there to convince him not to.

Maybe.

But look at who he’s put in charge of his campaign.

Trump likes to say he only hires the “best people.” But he’s had to fire so many campaign managers it’s like an episode of the Apprentice.

The latest shake-up was designed to – quote – “Let Trump be Trump.” To do that, he hired Stephen Bannon, the head of a right-wing website called Breitbart.com, as campaign CEO.

To give you a flavor of his work, here are a few headlines they’ve published:

“Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy.”

“Would You Rather Your Child Had Feminism or Cancer?”

“Gabby Giffords: The Gun Control Movement’s Human Shield”

“Hoist It High And Proud: The Confederate Flag Proclaims A Glorious Heritage.”

That one came shortly after the Charleston massacre, when Democrats and Republicans alike were doing everything they could to heal racial divides. Breitbart tried to enflame them further.

Just imagine – Donald Trump reading that and thinking: “this is what I need more of in my campaign.”

Bannon has nasty things to say about pretty much everyone.

This spring, he railed against Paul Ryan for, quote “rubbing his social-justice Catholicism in my nose every second.”

No wonder he’s gone to work for Trump – the only Presidential candidate ever to get into a public feud with the Pope.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate groups, Breitbart embraces “ideas on the extremist fringe of the conservative right. Racist ideas.

Race-baiting ideas. Anti-Muslim and anti-Immigrant ideas –– all key tenets making up an emerging racist ideology known as the ‘Alt-Right.’”

Alt-Right is short for “Alternative Right.”

The Wall Street Journal describes it as a loosely organized movement, mostly online, that “rejects mainstream conservatism, promotes nationalism and views immigration and multiculturalism as threats to white identity.”

The de facto merger between Breitbart and the Trump Campaign represents a landmark achievement for the “Alt-Right.” A fringe element has effectively taken over the Republican Party.

This is part of a broader story -- the rising tide of hardline, right-wing nationalism around the world.

Just yesterday, one of Britain’s most prominent right-wing leaders, Nigel Farage, who stoked anti-immigrant sentiments to win the referendum on leaving the European Union, campaigned with Donald Trump in Mississippi.

Farage has called for a ban on the children of legal immigrants from public schools and health services, has said women are quote “worth less” than men, and supports scrapping laws that prevent employers from discriminating based on race -- that’s who Trump wants by his side.

The godfather of this global brand of extreme nationalism is Russian President Vladimir Putin.

In fact, Farage has appeared regularly on Russian propaganda programs.

Now he’s standing on the same stage as the Republican nominee.

Trump himself heaps praise on Putin and embrace pro-Russian policies.

He talks casually of abandoning our NATO allies, recognizing Russia’s annexation of Crimea, and of giving the Kremlin a free hand in Eastern Europe more generally.

American presidents from Truman to Reagan have rejected the kind of approach Trump is taking on Russia.

We should, too.

All of this adds up to something we’ve never seen before.

Of course there’s always been a paranoid fringe in our politics, steeped in racial resentment. But it’s never had the nominee of a major party stoking it, encouraging it, and giving it a national megaphone. Until now.

On David Duke’s radio show the other day, the mood was jubilant.

“We appear to have taken over the Republican Party,” one white supremacist said.

Duke laughed. There’s still more work to do, he said.

No one should have any illusions about what’s really going on here. The names may have changed… Racists now call themselves “racialists.” White supremacists now call themselves “white nationalists.” The paranoid fringe now calls itself “alt-right.” But the hate burns just as bright.

And now Trump is trying to rebrand himself as well. Don’t be fooled.

There’s an old Mexican proverb that says “Tell me with whom you walk, and I will tell you who you are.”

We know who Trump is. A few words on a teleprompter won’t change that.

He says he wants to “make America great again,” but his real message remains “Make America hate again.”

This isn’t just about one election. It’s about who we are as a nation.

It’s about the kind of example we want to set for our children and grandchildren.

Next time you watch Donald Trump rant on television, think about all the kids listening across our country. They hear a lot more than we think.

Parents and teachers are already worried about what they’re calling the “Trump Effect.”

Bullying and harassment are on the rise in our schools, especially targeting students of color, Muslims, and immigrants.

At a recent high school basketball game in Indiana, white students held up Trump signs and taunted Latino players on the opposing team with chants of “Build the wall!” and “Speak English.”

After a similar incident in Iowa, one frustrated school principal said, “They see it in a presidential campaign and now it's OK for everyone to say this.”

We wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior in our own homes. How can we stand for it from a candidate for president?

This is a moment of reckoning for every Republican dismayed that the Party of Lincoln has become the Party of Trump. It’s a moment of reckoning for all of us who love our country and believe that America is better than this.

Twenty years ago, when Bob Dole accepted the Republican nomination, he pointed to the exits and told any racists in the Party to get out.

The week after 9/11, George W. Bush went to a mosque and declared for everyone to hear that Muslims “love America just as much as I do.”

In 2008, John McCain told his own supporters they were wrong about the man he was trying to defeat. Senator McCain made sure they knew – Barack Obama is an American citizen and “a decent person.”

We need that kind of leadership again.

Every day, more Americans are standing up and saying “enough is enough” – including a lot of Republicans. I’m honored to have their support.

And I promise you this: with your help, I will be a President for Democrats, Republicans, and Independents. For those who vote for me and those who don't.

For all Americans.

Because I believe we are stronger together.

It’s a vision for the future rooted in our values and reflected in a rising generation of young people who are the most open, diverse, and connected we’ve ever seen.

Just look at our fabulous Olympic team.

Like Ibtihaj Muhammad, an African-American Muslim from New Jersey who won the bronze medal in fencing with grace and skill. Would she even have a place in Donald Trump’s America?

When I was growing up, Simone Manuel wouldn’t have been allowed to swim in the same public pool as Katie Ledecky. Now they’re winning Olympic medals as teammates.

So let’s keep moving forward together.

Let’s stand up against prejudice and paranoia.

Let’s prove once again, that America is great because is America is good.

Thank you, and may God bless the United States."

~Hillary Rodham Clinton; 8/25/2016

The woman who warned us.

Trump is a con-man propaganda artist:

Never Normalize Trump.

#strongertogether

[junker-town]

‘The Bachelor’ Recap: Let’s go to ... Cleveland?!

ABC

Football, amusement parks, and ... dating country singers?

We at SB Nation realize The Bachelor is very much sports. Therefore, each week we’ll recap all the heartbreak, drama, and excitement. If you missed anything, catch up on last week’s action here.

Get excited! Pilot Peter is taking this show on the road as he and the ladies are going to ...

CLEVELAND!

ABC

“Did he say...Cleveland?”

The excitement was palpable. I fully respect the self-awareness of this Cleveland.com article discussing The Bachelor’s trip to their fair city, saying, “We’re betting, though, like most tourists that come here, they’ll be pleasantly surprised at what they find.”

Look, Cleveland is actually pretty delightful, but Cleveland seems like a letdown when you consider that Colton’s ladies went to SINGAPORE for their first trip away from the Bachelor Mansion. Previous seasons went to Park City, Lake Tahoe, and Hilton Head for their first foray into the real world, so I can see how maybe the home of the Cleveland Browns was a bit of a let down.

One-on-one date — Victoria F.

I love amusement parks (shoutout Busch Gardens Williamsburg ... you’re my jam). They’re fun, rollercoasters are great, and there’s relatively good food and beer depending on where you go. Peter takes Victoria F. to Cedar Point, which THEY HAVE ENTIRELY TO THEMSELVES*.

*I am assuming there is staff there to, you know, run the rides.

This is arguably a perfect date, and the pair has a ton of fun riding rides without having to wait in line with hundreds of their closest friends. After a couple beers, they wrap up the day portion with a surely relaxing private concert featuring country singer Chase Rice.

Wait, Victoria F., why do you look so concerned?

ABC

“Wait, who is that singing.”

Turns out, SHE USED TO DATE SAID COUNTRY SINGER. Ah, Bachelor producers, you got us again.

At dinner, Victoria F. breaks the news (more on that later) that she and Rice used to date, and the most hilarious conversation in Bachelor franchise history ensued:

Victoria F: So, Chase and I used to date.

Peter: Like, the singer Chase?

[pause]

Peter: Like, the guy that was doing the concert?

Victoria F: Yeah.

Peter: Wait, what?

Victoria F: [solemnly nods]

Peter: [bewildered] No.

Victoria: I’m like shaking right now.

Peter: The guy that was singing? I talked to him. What?

After Peter got over the initial shock that, like, the singer Chase was the one Victoria F. was referring to, he was pretty chill. She got the rose and was serenaded by a man — not Chase Rice, unfortunately — playing the cello.

Group date

What do you when you’re in Cleveland? [checks notes] Football! Peter takes the ladies to FirstEnergy Stadium for the Bachelor Bowl, during which they LEGIT hit each other.

They are hitting harder in #TheBachelor football game tonight than in several Big 12 games I watched this year. This is Utah-BYU level hitting. Sheesh

— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) January 28, 2020

On the first play from scrimmage, Shiann rattles off one of her four touchdown runs, completely exposing the defense of the yellow team.

ABC

It actually turns into a great game, with the yellow squad — who are inexplicably called The Killer Bs — tying the game at 28 as the clock expires. Congratulations, ladies. Your prize is that all 13 of you go to the evening portion of the date. What could go wrong?

Wait, what’s that? IS THAT ALAYAH’S MUSIC?

[Extremely Eminem voice] Guess who’s back? Back again. Alayah’s back. Tell a friend.

All the ladies get VERY upset, and in true naive-Peter fashion, he gives Alayah the group rose. You know, the rose for the group date she wasn’t on and didn’t sacrifice her body for.

One-on-one date — Kelsey

In case you forgot over the last week, Kelsey is best-known in the house for her role in the Champagne Crisis that dominated house discussion for the first two weeks. Peter and Kelsey just wandered around downtown Cleveland for their date, stumbling upon a polka party that honestly looked like a blast.

At the dinner (AKA “tell your saddest story”) portion of the evening, Kelsey told Peter that she found out about her parents’ impending divorce before her mom found out ... BECAUSE SHE CAME HOME TO A NOTE FROM HER DAD ON THE COUNTER WITH HIS WEDDING RING.

That’s ... brutal.

He disappeared to Mexico to start a new life, and she didn’t see him for 12 years. Yikes. She got a well-deserved hug and the rose, ensuring her mansion safety for another week.

Cocktail party

If you love the Alayah vs. the world drama, you loved the cocktail party portion of the episode. Poor, sweet Peter was so excited coming into the cocktail party, and then he saw the ladies.

ABC

Look how excited they are! Deandra and Natasha call Peter on his bullshit of bringing back Alayah, he has a really weird conversation with Victoria P., and the episode runs out of time before anyone is eliminated.

Onto the highlights!

Most low-key insults of Cleveland

It’s fair to say the ladies weren’t stoked to go to Ohio. I appreciate the work Chris Harrison put in to build it up, but here’s the video of the announcement:

Just incredible pic.twitter.com/so3cczI0zR

— lindsey ok (@lindseyyok) January 28, 2020

Once the ladies got over the shock of being told they were going to Cleveland, they dropped some fire backhanded compliments at the home of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

“When I think of Ohio, I don’t really think of romance, but I hope Cleveland surprises us.”

“None of us have really gone there, so you know what, Cleveland? Bring it on.”

“I wasn’t expecting it to be this nice.”

Most thought-out reason for having an even number of kids — AMUSEMENT PARKS

After riding a bunch of rides at Cedar Point, Peter asked Victoria F. how many kids she wanted. Her reply? Four. Peter was overly enthusiastic about this response, sharing that he wanted to have either two OR four kids. Not one. Not three. His reasoning?

He didn’t want to go to an amusement park as a family with an odd number of kids because then someone would have to ride alone.

Me:

Most unnecessary meltdown — Victoria F.

Congratulations, Victoria. You have taken what should have been an automatic award to Mykenna, who seemingly cries every 14 seconds.

Look. Is it weird to have an awkward special concert at a nearly empty amusement park? Yes! Is it insanely unfortunate to have an ex surprise you as the one serenading you and your new beau in aforementioned amusement park? Absolutely! Is this your fault in any way or should you be ashamed? LOL, hell no.

Who gives a shit, Victoria? You ran into your incredibly hot ex. Most of us wish that this could happen when you’re a) looking pretty as hell, and b) are on a super-fun date with a new guy.

Of course Victoria acts super weird, gets all dramatic when she tells Peter, and runs away to cry in a corner during the dinner portion of the date. If Peter had made a big deal out of it, maybe I could understand the reaction — but he was super cool and expected the women to have pasts that involve exes.

To be fair, this moment was so epically awkward they should hang this in the Louvre:

ABC

Best football advice — Hanford Dixon

After the pink team easily broke free for a touchdown, former Cleveland Brown Hanford Dixon told Deandra, “You can’t let them run and make a touchdown, because if they make a touchdown, then they score, and we’re at a disadvantage. Does everybody understand?”

I mean, he’s not wrong.

Football MVP — Shiann

DAMN GIRL. Shiann, or “Shiannimal” as Pete called her, seemingly rushed for all four touchdowns for the Eliminators. She dominated the opposing team’s defense, and Natasha offered to “block for her ass” so she could grab Peter first in the date’s now-overcrowded evening portion.

Well done, Shiann. Well done. You’re now a Cleveland Brown!

[metawitches]

But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media

Though I have been writing reviews on this blog for more than three years, I have been keeping a dark secret from you, dear readers. I haven’t really been keeping the secret on purpose, but a lie of omission is still a lie, so please, try to forgive me. I don’t think this reveal will come as much of a shock to my regular readers.

The truth is, I have a deep, lifelong love of vampire romance. I’m open minded, and can consider other supernatural romances as well, but werewolves are so packminded that I question their devotion to their beloved. Ghosts seem so thin and superficial. Zombies are interested in brains, but I want more than just a relationship of the mind. Angels and demons both have to leave their beloveds in the lurch when they get called into service by the higher- and lower- powers they serve. A shapeshifter is an inconstant lover in so many ways, how could we ever develop trust?

There are exceptions: Oz from Buffy. The medieval ghosts of Lynn Kurland’s paranormal romance novels. The sentient zombies of In the Flesh. The married angel-demon couple from Midnight, Texas, another Charlaine Harris story. And no one is more trustworthy than True Blood’s own shapeshifter, Sam Merlotte.

As a general rule, witches and wizards are the only other supernatural beings I truly find exciting, with their wide range of abilities to charm or bewitch the pants off a girl, depending on the mood.

Since I’m a witch myself, and wizards are a dime a dozen, can you blame me for looking for a little more variety in my fantasy life?

Bring on the dark, brooding vampires, who are the epitome of devoted, romantic lovers, are immortal, manageably dangerous and adventurous, definitely where they’re supposed to be during the day, gorgeous and who can share their blood. Blood which, if used in small quantities, will heal without turning a human into a vampire, but which can also make the user immortal if desired, so they can share everlasting love with their vampire lover.

What could go wrong? Don’t answer that, we all need to discover some things for ourselves.

I admit, this is a hereditary issue for me. My mother and older sister sat me down in front of the Gothic soap opera Dark Shadows in 1966, when I was 5 years old, to watch the trials and tribulations of vampire Barnabas Collins, of the supernatural Collins family of Collinsport, Maine. Collinsport was a mysterious town on the cold, rocky shores of northern Maine, just like the small towns in coastal northern Maine my mother’s family had lived in for 300 years, until my parents moved us to upstate NY.

With the amount of inbreeding that went on in the small early populations of northern New England, I wouldn’t be surprised if I share some relatives in common with Barnabas Collins. 😉 I certainly share the vampire’s love of night and inability to handle strong light.

(Yes, I live in New Mexico, why do you ask? This is why hats, tinted glasses and long summers with warm nights were invented. True Blood is a Southern Gothic for a reason. The Twilight vampires can keep their rain soaked, cold climates.)

I still have a copy with this original cover.

Dark Shadows ran for 6 seasons, through 1971. Then I moved on to films and book series, most notably Anne Rice. I received 2 copies of her book Interview with the Vampire for my 16th birthday, in 1977, because my friends and family knew me well, and I haven’t looked back since. Though the author clearly favors the character Lestat, tenderhearted Louis will always be my favorite of her vampires. He is, after all, the vampire who was interviewed.

There were other favorites through the years, such as the film The Lost Boys in 1987 and the Dark Shadows revival in 1991. There were viral vampires, such as The Strain and The Passage, descendants of Nosferatu rather than Dracula. Viral vampires are better not mentioned if you prefer your vampires to be romantic. There was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, film and series. Who could resist Angel? He was so irresistible that David Boreanaz has starred in one TV series or another continuously ever since. I definitely resisted Spike, though I know others didn’t.

There was The Vampire Diaries on The CW, which ran for 8 seasons (2009-17) and spawned 2 spin off series, The Originals (2013-18) and Legacies (2018- ). The first 4 seasons of The Vampire Diaries were as good as any vampire media I’ve seen anywhere. I lost interest when the storylines were watered down by splitting the cast to create spin offs and some of my favorite actors left the franchise, but those vampires are obviously still doing it for others.

Over the years, Ann Rice has written more than a dozen books on vampires, plus other series on other supernaturals, some with her son, Christopher Rice. She managed to make a mummy sexy. Her original vampire trilogy was turned into two mediocre films. I also had a fling with Katie MacAlister’s Dark Ones book series in the 00s, a fun vampire soulmate series. Now I notice she’s added a few installments since I last checked in with it about 10 years ago so, yay! Something else to read over the winter.

The big vampire story of the 00s was Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight book series, which my kids and I shared the way I’d shared Dark Shadows with my family as a child. The Twilight films were terrible, terrible things. I recommend skipping them. But as with so much that’s perceived to be originally aimed at teenage girls, the Twilight books have been unfairly maligned. They are full of universal themes and vivid characters.

Bella is a great character for anyone to follow and she has a romance to die for. She does so much more than have a boyfriend and a baby in her books, but even if that’s all she did, it would be enough. Navigating personal relationships is a huge part of life, and for someone from a background of abuse and neglect, like Bella, learning how to have healthy relationships when you are older is a long term challenge.

If it takes a vampire family to show you what real love, care, equal relationships and decent parenting look like, there’s nothing wrong with that. There are very good reasons why Bella’s romance is in love not just with Edward, but with his entire clan. Because of her childhood experiences, she’s in love with the idea of transforming from a human who has difficulty defending herself against the human monsters in her world, who include her parents, into a vampire who can protect herself and her entire devoted vampire family from even the fiercest of supernatural monsters. After a youth full of struggle, she finds her own power and uses it on her own terms to win a war, in addition to conducting an epic vampire romance.

There was a last, forgotten, one and done vampire TV series of the 00s, Moonlight, on CBS, starring Alex O’Loughlin, who quickly went on to become better known as Steve McGarrett in the Hawaii Five-0 revival, and Jason Dohring of Veronica Mars. Moonlight aired during the 2007-08 season, so it was affected by the infamous, endless writers’ strike which killed more than 1 show that year. It was just hitting its stride when the season was cut short.

As a vampire romance noir which explored multiple historical time periods plus the present day, it was sadly ahead of its time for broadcast TV. Plus, though the show had already been completely recast after early sample filming (except for Alex O’Loughlin), the writing still focused too much on the relationship between O’Loughlin’s main vampire character, Mick St John, and the lead ingenue human female, Beth (Sophia Myles), rather than the much more interesting and complex relationship between Mick and his ancient vampire, on again-off again wife and maker, Coraline (Shannyn Sossamon).

The show was course correcting in that direction when it ended after 16 episodes, an unusually short season in those days. I would be thrilled with a reboot of Moonlight that was done right. (It’s currently streaming on cwseed.com.)

Alas, the media deities rarely listen to my brilliant ideas, so we are subject to the slings and arrows and fangs of outrageous fortune. But just 4 short months after Moonlight went off the air, a new vampire romance rolled into town, and it wasn’t shy about telling us what it wanted. True Blood was the answer to all my vampire romance prayers.

Let’s Finally Review True Blood Season 1

True Blood aired on HBO for 7 seasons, for a total of 80 episodes, from the fall of 2008 to the summer of 2014. It’s based on the 13-14 book series The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris. The TV series was created by Alan Ball, who was handpicked by Charlaine Harris because she felt he understood what she was trying to do with the books. He stayed on as showrunner for the first 5 seasons, which were all critically acclaimed.

The TV series stars Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress who lives in Bon Temps, a small town in rural Louisiana. Sookie sees her telepathy as a disability because she has a hard time turning it off, which makes it difficult to concentrate on anything else or to have normal human relationships. As a result, she’s socially isolated, other than a few close friends and her family- the warm, generous grandmother she lives with, Adele, known as Gran (Lois Smith), and her charming but selfish, promiscuous brother, Jason (Ryan Kwanten).

Sookie works at her friend Sam Merlotte’s bar and restaurant (Sam Trammell), where she’s also friends with much married fellow waitress Arlene (Carrie Preston) and fabulous short-order cook and hustler, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis). Her best friend and Lafayette’s cousin, Tara (Rutina Wesley), begins working at Merlotte’s as a bartender at the beginning of the series. Most of the town passes through Merlotte’s at one time or another, since it’s a popular local hangout.

Sookie’s parents died in a flash flood when she was a child, but other than that and her telepathy, her life has been normal, even humdrum. Until vampires came out of the coffin a few years ago, as far as she knew there was nothing extraordinary about the world. She still has no idea why she’s psychic.

A synthetic blood which can sustain vampires, known by the brand name Tru Blood, has encouraged vampires to take the controversial step of revealing themselves as a species to humans. Amongst both vampires and humans, some have embraced this revelation and some fear what it will mean for the future. Sookie makes her very first vampire acquaintance, with the vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer), when he stops by Merlotte’s to try a Tru Blood. Bill is attempting to mainstream, meaning he’s trying to blend in with humans as much as possible, rather than living the full vampire lifestyle, which naturally disregards human manners and customs. Normal vampire ways tend to alienate normal humans fairly quickly. They can even be deadly for humans.

Vampire blood can be used as a recreational drug, so there are dealers who capture vampires, drain their blood, then sell it. Sometimes they kill the vampire in the process. In the first episode, an unethical couple lure Bill into the parking lot to drain him, which Sookie overhears using her telepathic ability. Sookie is surprised to discover how easily some silver and the promise of a tasty snack can disarm a vampire. She rescues Bill and their relationship is born.

Due to the images her telepathy puts in her head, Sookie has never been able to date human men, so Bill is her first boyfriend. His main attraction is that she’s unable to read his mind. Perhaps because they are technically dead, vampire minds are a blank to her. For a telepath who’s always “on”, this is soothing.

True Blood season 1 is a Southern Gothic, paranormal, horror, mystery, romance, urban fantasy, much the same as the book it’s based on, Charlaine Harris’ Dead Until Dark. Though the subject matter is intense, the writing is relatively fast-paced and there’s a dark comedy element to it that keeps the horror aspect from becoming overwhelming. The show isn’t as light and breezy as the books; in addition to the book’s humor it uses visuals and a heightened reality to emphasize the outrageous nature of Sookie’s world. The characters frequently comment on that outrageousness and on the ironies taking place around them.

In season 1, there’s a serial killer on the loose who provides the season long mystery arc. The killer is after young women who’ve been with both vampires and human men. Since Sookie has a vampire boyfriend and is frequently around other men, she eventually becomes one of the targets.

The show’s theme song, Bad Things, by Jace Everett, perfectly encapsulates the mood of True Blood. It’s an upbeat country song that promises an out of control romance, which plays over the opening credit sequence of each episode. Humans and animals experiencing intense situations flash by, while names are superimposed over them. The activities in the visuals aren’t necessarily even immoral, they’re just filmed in a way that makes them feel creepy, until you aren’t sure anymore what’s actually bad and what’s just making you feel bad.

Like an insidious vampire who wants to have his way with us, the opening credits act to lower our boundaries and confuse us, so that we’re disoriented and easily taken out of our normal lives. Whether we’re being glamoured, romanced, drugged or conned, the first step is to convince us to leave our previous concept of normal behind.

The first year I watched True Blood, I thought the opening sequence was the grossest, most horrible opening credits sequence ever made. Now I love it and think it’s one of the best. Is that a good development or a bad one? *shrug* I still can’t watch the maggots though. The vampires haven’t completely taken me over.

True Blood continues to lower our defenses and push our boundaries once the opening credits end. Vampires and shapeshifters are welcomed into normal society. They take part in panels on CNN, discussing legal changes which have been proposed to help or hinder their assimilation. They stop at the 7-11 to pick up a 6 pack on their way home. They have difficulty getting a contractor to come out to their rural home and need a referral from a friend. They are business owners, employers and employees.  They worry about getting blood stains out of their laundry. Possibly a little more often than most of us, but still.

They sleep underground in the graveyard when they can’t make it home before dawn. It’s sort of like crashing at a friend’s house. Okay, that one is pushing the boundaries of normal human culture. There is an entire vampire culture that exists outside of human sight, but we only touch the surface of it in season 1.

Sookie is drawn into this world as she seeks to solve the murder mystery and enlists Bill’s help. She visits a vampire bar run by the ancient vampire sheriff, Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård) and his vampire progeny, Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten). They learn of her telepathy and seek to use her talents to solve their own mysteries.

Shenanigans ensue for 7 unparalleled seasons.

True Blood Season 1 vs The Southern Vampire Mysteries Book 1 (Dead Until Dark)

True Blood season 1 follows Dead Until Dark, the first book in the series, closely, using the same serial killer plot as the main mystery storyline and Sookie’s romance with Bill as the supernatural focus. The book was originally published in 2001 and my 2008 paperback copy is a quick 292 page read.

Neither the TV season nor the book are my favorite of their respective series, mainly because I am emphatically not a fan of Bill Compton and eventually I start to gag over the way Sookie continuously drools over him. But they are both entertaining and introduce the world of Sookie and Bon Temps with enough suspense, heart and humor to draw you into the next book and season.

In season 1, the TV series faithfully recreates Charlaine Harris’ version of Sookie’s world, from Gran’s old but well-loved farmhouse to Eric Northman’s vampire tourist bar, Fangtasia. The series also included mainly the same characters and subplots as the book, with a few alterations. The main difference is that the TV show expanded on plotlines that were only briefly mentioned in the book, such as recreational V(ampire blood) consumption by humans, Lafayette’s off hours activities and the vampires’ struggle for equal rights.

Many of the supporting characters and their backstories are much more developed in True Blood season 1 than they are in book 1. This is an unusual difference between a book and a movie, but it’s not as surprising when you realize that the Sookie Stackhouse novels are narrated in the first person by Sookie herself. Expanding on other characters isn’t a priority for her, even though it could be aided by her telepathy. She’s basically obsessed with Vampire Bill and the murders in this book, whereas she’s known the other characters her whole life. It’s natural for her to have little interest in providing extra details, so she tells us enough, but we don’t get a full biography.

Two characters who go on to appear in multiple books are left out of the TV series, Bubba and JB du Rone. Bubba is based on a very famous real life singer, so they probably figured he’d be distracting, as he typically is in the books. JB du Rone is a sweet man-child who shares some similarities with Lafayette and eventually becomes close to Tara. I suspect the Lafayette we see on screen is actually meant to be a composite character, with many tweaks and Lafayette’s brains.

The biggest change from Dead Until Dark is the addition of Tara Thornton to the cast. In the books she doesn’t appear until the 2nd installment, Living Dead in Dallas. Several major season 1 subplots revolve around Tara, including the set up for the main storyline for season 2, and she’s heavily involved in other characters’ plot arcs as well. Rutina Wesley is such a vibrant presence that it’s hard to imagine Bon Temps without her version of Tara, so this was certainly a welcome change. With Tara comes her alcoholic mother, Lettie Mae, played by one of my favorite actresses, Adina Porter.

Another notable change is the expansion of the storyline for book character Amy Burley, played by Lizzy Caplan. She and Jason become involved with a vampire played the Man in the High Castle himself, Stephen Root, with disastrous consequences, but it’s fun while it lasts. The Amy-Jason-V subplot is particularly effective, with its psychedelic visuals, sometimes subtle violence and obsessive relationships.

The actors and the visuals drive home the multiple abuse aspects of this plotline in a way that would be much more difficult using only words. The genius of True Blood is that the writing, acting, music and visuals come together to make an entertaining, memorable show while showing the dark side of society and how that dark underbelly can bring pain and pleasure. But True Blood wouldn’t exist if Charlaine Harris’ genius hadn’t already given us the snarky, bold, scandalous world they are elaborating on.

True Blood is streaming on HBO’s websites and Amazon Prime. Charlaine Harris has a new book in her current Gunnie Rose series, A Longer Fall, coming out in January 2020. Until then, I’m amusing myself by revisiting Sookie Stackhouse.

Images belong to those who created them.

Book vs Screen Review: True Blood Season 1 vs Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris-But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media-Bring on the dark, brooding vampires. #TrueBlood #CharlaineHarris But First, A Brief, Non-Exhaustive Tour Through My Favorite Romantic Vampire Media Though I have been writing reviews on this blog for more than three years, I have been keeping a dark secret from you, dear readers.

[the1975hqs]

Matty’s Interview with The Sunday Times Style

I wish I had a teenage daughter. Why? Because here I am with Matt Healy, the frontman of the 1975, who has just offered to take his shirt off in order to give me a tattoo tour. There’s the one dedicated to his nana; his mum, Denise “Loose Women” Welch, is on his foot; his dad, Tim “Auf Wiedersehen, Pet” Healy, is on his arm; and his brother, Louis, on the back of a calf; there’s the one dedicated to William Burroughs, the author of his favourite ever book, Queer; then there’s the one on the inside of his left wrist… of his passport number. “I got bored of being constantly woken up by a woman offering me a landing card while my tour manager, who always carries my passport, is conked out somewhere behind me. I thought it would be useful. It’s really all I need on a plane.”

Welcome to the world of the 1975, whose second album, I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It (yes, really), went straight to No 1 in both America and the UK last year, and who won the best band award at the Brits in February. They have just announced that their third album, Music for Cars, will be out next year, and when we meet they are about to go on tour, kicking off in Mexico and ending in July at Latitude Festival in Suffolk, where they will headline alongside Fleet Foxes and Mumford & Sons. If you’re not familiar with their music — think Pete Doherty mixed with One Direction, maybe — it’s probably because, like me, you’re too old. That said, Mick Jagger, whom the band supported when the Stones played Hyde Park in 2013, is a huge fan — so fond of their hit single Chocolate, he has been known to put it on after dinner for guests.

“Yeah, I remember that gig,” says the 28-year-old Healy, with a faint Northern accent. “It was before I had my eyes lasered and I wasn’t wearing my glasses. Pointless. There were 50,000 people there and I could only see about four of them, but out of the corner of my eye I could just make out this gyrating figure and it was Jagger dancing to Chocolate. Mick Jagger — can you f****** believe it?”

Dressed this afternoon in a billowing silk shirt and tartan drummer-boy trews (“Not sure where they’re from, we rent a lot of stuff from the costume-hire department at the National Theatre”), Healy cuts the perfect figure of postmodern pop star: a kind of hybrid of Adam Ant and Robert Smith of the Cure, but sexier somehow, with those pouchy eyes and chiselled curls. Sprinkled across his fingers are an assortment of knuckle-dusters by Gucci, at his feet a women’s saddle bag, also by Gucci, all part of the vague Louis XV look, as he calls it, that the band are currently channelling. Gucci, McQueen, Loewe — these are some of his favourite labels at the moment. “Although if you are talking a label for life, it’s probably Dries [Van Noten]. He’s my Sir Alex Ferguson of fashion — beaten once or twice in his career, but always the best.” Then there’s his “mate” Erdem, with whom he likes to discuss “Fellini, contemporary dance and the concept of elegance”. Oh yes, Healy likes his fashion, although he admits he’s not mad about going to the actual shows. “They make me realise I’m more famous than I think I am. It’s like, ‘Don’t take pics of me, I’m here to look at the bloody clothes!’ But I’m not sure how you’re going to write that without making me sound like a dickhead.”

The pair of us are sitting in the spotlessly tidy, pine-surfaced kitchen of Healy’s east London townhouse, which he shares with the artist and creative director Sam Burgess-Johnson and Allen Ginsberg, his beloved year-old bull mastiff. Like Healy himself — a sylphy 5ft 8in and 10st who can fit into his girlfriend’s vintage clothes — the house is small and perfectly formed, and it is filled with well-tended spider plants, candles and stuffed birds. The only blot on this exemplary tableau of millennial domesticity is the unmistakable smell. (If you saw the grainy film that emerged the day after the Brits, of him and fellow band member George Daniel sharing a, um, “cigarette” under their table, you will know what I mean.)

“Like the inside of Bob Marley’s sock, right?’ he sighs apologetically. “Yeah, I know I’ve got to be careful here, haven’t I? But, yes, if I’m honest, I do like to smoke.”

Brought up on a farm in Northumberland, before moving to Cheshire at the age of 10, Healy likes to describe his upbringing as middle-class suburban, but obviously that’s not quite accurate. Regular visitors to the family home included his dad’s mates Rick Wakeman, Jeff Lynne of ELO and Mark Knopfler, and there was never any question that Healy, who got his first drum kit when he was only five, was going to do anything other than perform. When his mother was struggling with a dependence on cocaine and alcohol, he wrote a song about it (he proudly tells me that she and her third husband, the painter Lincoln Townley, have been clean and sober for six years; his parents divorced in 2012). Healy has referred to his own struggles with addiction when the band first rose to fame. “But I don’t drink any more, or at least I don’t drink at home. And although I still smoke weed, I consider it a lesser of many evils.”

Healy is a master provocateur: during the band’s Brits performance, lines from the some of their worst reviews flashed up on screen — “Pretentious”, “shallow”, “punch-your-TV obnoxious” and so on — causing some of the audience to think they had been hacked. That’s his role, as the Mick of the band, but not everything he says, and goodness does he have a lot to say, is merely for effect.

In the two hours plus I’m at his house, he treats our interview a little like a therapy session, talking about how he struggles with his “carnal impulses — a beautiful woman, that’s the closest I’ve ever come to divinity”, and how he is all too aware of his messianic influence over a certain demographic, girls between the ages of 13 and 17. Upstairs he has a suitcase full of the gifts he has been showered with on tour: artwork, books, knickers, you name it. One of his most treasured is a rare signed copy of Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood that was pressed into his hands after a gig in Sheffield.

“I wouldn’t accept it until she brought her dad backstage to say it was OK,” he says. “I’m not sure she realised what a find it was. But then look at Mary Shelley, who wrote Frankenstein when she was only 18. The desires of a teenage girl can be as sophisticated as mine, and when they are looking to me as a source of information, that’s a big responsibility. You can see where impostor syndrome sets in.”

Self-aware, in other words, doesn’t describe the half of it. But then, like Stormzy with his depression and Zayn with his anxiety and even Riz Ahmed with his views on Islamophobia, public emoting is part of Healy’s schtick. As he shared in his acceptance speech at the Brits: “In pop music … they tell you to stay in your lane when it comes to talking about social issues — but if you have a platform, don’t do that, please don’t do that.”

“Well, that whole ‘I don’t give a shit’ thing has never really gone far with me,” he says. “It’s why indie is my most hated [music] scene — a scene where you pretend you don’t care in order to not get judged on how bad you are as a musician. But times have moved on. I’m a privileged middle-class kid from Macclesfield. I can’t pretend to be what I’m not.”

Back, please, to his love life. He was rumoured to have dated Taylor Swift, but I can confirm they never even kissed, they “only fancied each other”. At the Brits there was a Lily-Rose Depp lookalike in a silver dress sitting next to him — Gabriella Brooks, an Australian who, yes, is a model, “but not a model model. She’s a chilled-out surfer chick who has never once asked to go out to an event, which is just amazing because I hate those big red-carpet events.” So, is this the future Mrs Matt Healy? Might he, at the tender age of 28, be settling down?

“Oh, bless. I’ve put her through the mill, brought her closer, pushed her away, brought her closer. See, although I know now I don’t need my equal on the intensity spectrum, I enjoy fantasising. What if someone like, say, Rihanna wanted to marry me? Am I shutting myself off from the opportunity of marrying someone like Rihanna?

“Oh, I don’t know,” he says suddenly looking terribly young.“I’m still trying to figure it all out.”

[vencficas-blog]

RULES: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose some other people to play!

TAGGED BY: I stole this from Zack TAGGING: This is a LOT so I didn’t wanna tag anybody but if you’re reading this and wanna do it, do it. 

LAST…

[1] drink: coffee [2] phone call: A call for work.  [3] text message: I sent a photo of my cats to my mom so she could see her grand children.  [4] song you listened to: There’s A Honey - Pale Waves [5] time you cried: I do not cry often and I don’t tend to keep track. 

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: Negative. One and done kinda girl.  [7] been cheated on: Sure have. [8] kissed someone & regretted it: Not that I can recall.  [9] lost someone special: Yep. [10] been depressed: "been” depressed lol [11] gotten drunk & thrown up: NO CAUSE I’M A CHAMP. 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

[12] Blue [13] Green [14] Purple 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Yep!  [16] fallen out of love: Yep. [17] laughed until you cried: Yep. [18] found out someone was talking about you: I mean probably but I don’t remember. [19] met someone who changed you: Nah? [20] found out who your true friends are: There have definitely been some revelations on that front.. [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: Negative.

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them. I don’t add people I don’t know cause I barely give a shit, I’m not gonna give a shit about strangers.  [23] do you have any pets: Two kitties, Luke and Leia who are tURNING ONE SOON!! [24] do you want to change your name: Nah. [25] what did you do for your last birthday: Went out for drankkksss. [26] what time did you wake up: 5:30 aka too fuckin early.  [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleepin. [28] name something you cannot wait for: THE LAST JEDI!!!!!! [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: Last weekend and I’ll be seeing her tonight as well.  [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My height? Man idk.  [31] what are you listening to right now: TV episodes being edited.  [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t think so? Lots of Tim’s but no Toms. WHERE YA AT TOM’S?! [33] something that gets on your nerves: So much, but currently this bitch I work with and her constant noise. [34] most visited website: Tumblr. Duh. [35] elementary: Catholic School [36] high school: Public High School.  [37] college: COLLEGE DROP OUT!  [38] hair color: Dark brown but I’m goin rose gold next Sunday!  [39] long or short hair: It was long af but I got it cut but people still say it’s long.  [40] do you have a crush on someone: Not a chance. [41] what do you like about yourself? I think I’m a pretty decent friend.. [42] piercings: 4 holes in my left ear, three in my right. [43] blood type: Coffee. [44] nickname: Katie is a nickname but I guess Kiki is also one. [45] relationship status: SINGLE AS HELL but it’s cool. [46] zodiac sign: Cancer. [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: I’m so behind on all my tv shows who even knows.  [49] tattoos: I REALLY want one but idk what I want so the waiting continues.  [50] right or left handed: right.

FIRST…

[51] surgery: Broken nose.  [52] piercing: ears. [53] best friend: This girl I met in Kindergarten who’s still one of my closest friends.  [55] vacation: Mexico or Hawaii I can’t remember. [56] pair of sneakers: Wtf bitch I can’t remember what I did three days ago I don’t remember this 

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing, but SUSHI FOR LUNCH [58] drinking: coffee. Always. Water too though.  [59] i’m about to: Continue sitting here.  [60] listening to: YOU’VE ALREADY ASKED THIS.  [61] waiting for: the motha fuckin weekend. [62] want: a million dollars.  [63] get married: Nah. [64] career: TV INDUSTRY!!

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: Depends on the person and the mood? [66] lips or eyes: eyes. [67] shorter or taller: Taller [68] older or younger: Older? man idk? [69] romantic or spontaneous: I hate this [70] nice arms or nice stomach: IDFK [71] sensitive or loud: this is stupid.  [72] hookup or relationship: Right now I’m in the hookup stage.  [73] troublemaker or hesitant: I’m over this. 

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? Yes. [75] drank hard liquor? Yes. [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? BOTH.  [77] turned someone down? Sure have. [78] sex on first date? Nah. [79] broken someone’s heart? Maybe? [80] had your own heart broken? Sure have. [81] been arrested? Negative. [82] cried when someone died? Uh, duh. [83] fallen for a friend? Yup.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? life after love [85] miracles? I can feel something [86] love at first sight? inside me say [87] santa claus? I really don't think [88] kiss on the first date? you're strong enough [89] angels? WHOOAA.

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Alex~ [91] eye color: Hazel. [92] favorite movie: Star Wars and Jurassic Park

[hellyeahheroes]

Looking Back at 2016- Best Supporting Series

While you can cast your votes for Hell Yeah Teen Superheroes Awards 2016, I’ll be taking look back at the year behind us and see what would be my picks for the listed categories, as well as musing in general about books in each. Today we’ll take a look at series about adult characters, who had used young heroes in supporting roles.

This year, in general, was full of books that were fitting in that group. While Marvel had only few such titles, DC got on the roll with Rebirth, where suddenly it seemed like every book about an adult went “Doesn’t he have a sidekick?”. Duke Thomas was used heavily in both Batman’s books, Jonathan Kent in Superman’s, Emiko Queen in Green Arrow, Wally West in Flash… you get my point. Quite frankly that was the best way for DC to go, considering one of the goals of DC Rebirth was to reestablish a sense of legacy and history that have been lost with the dawn of the New 52.Not to mention family being one of its central themes. As such it was really hard to narrow this down to those few titles that I felt deserve the most recognition. Again, these are my personal picks and if you feel that I’ve missed something, feel free to argue… or cast your own votes in the awards proper.

The first title I want to mention is one that seems to be getting the least attention. Published under DC’s Young Animal imprint, Cave Carson has a Cybernetic Eye had only just started, with three issues released in 2016. However, said issues were undeniably a blast. Gerard Way’s brand of weird combined with cartoony, retro style of Michael Avon Oeming, managed to create something that has a feel similar to Venture Bros (especially with Wild Dog, who would probably fit on Venture Bros pretty well), only less interested in taking apart the tropes of classic comics and cartoons in favor of just enjoying them. Cave Carson, one of the most obscure DC characters ever (they’ve literally picked him because he had the smallest entry on “Who is Who in DC Universe?”) not only must confront his past and stop people who want to tarnish his legacy for profit (or more nefarious goals) but also repair relationship with his teenage daughter, Chloe. It’s the stranded, but still able to be mended bond between those two that provides a sense of normalcy between everything weird the book is throwing at us and Wild Dog’s antics. I put it on my list to also represent those few books that started to late (Nova vol.7, which would also qualify as a solo/shared book, depending on how you look at it) or introduced teen character too late (Power Man & Iron Fist, whose last two issues of 2016 added Alex Wilder to the cast) to really have a winning chance in voting, but deserve acknowledgment.  

The next title that needs to be recognized for what is it stands on the opposite end of the spectrum. Firmly grounded in real life and tackling real problems, Captain America: Sam Wilson is one of the most controversial titles of 2016. Which occurs in a way that I cannot help, but find really ironic. Sam Wilson tries to be Captain America for the people, who doesn’t shy away from talking about a different subject and sharing his views. And media made him into their favorite punching bag. Conservatives are lambasting him constantly, accusing of “dividing this country” for taking side…which usually means taking a side they don’t agree with. Helping with hacker Whisperer to expose S.H.I.E.L.D. illegal facility to detain supervillains without a trial? “He aids traitors against the government!” Taking down a bunch of racist hunting down immigrants on the borders to sell them as subjects to a guy who is in equal parts Doctor Moreau and Joseph Mengele? “He is attacking good citizens keeping our borders safe!” Going after corrupt supervillain corporation that was backing those racists? “He is destroying honest business and all work positions it created!” Trying to intervene in a conflict between Americops, who are basically police brutality incarnate and citizens of Harlem they’re beating up for minor offenses? “He is attacking our protectors and aiding criminals and thugs!” And at the same time, he cannot really win either. When he tried to resolve the problem with Americops peacefully it escalated into a brawl and teenage superhero Rage accusing him of selling out. Nobody talks about the moments he succeeds, but everyone brings up the slightest misstep, big or small or not even a bad move at all, unless you can spin it as such. And the irony comes in the fact that this is exactly the treatment the book has gotten from the audience. Fox News went apeshit over Sam beating racists on the borders. Lurk through Spacebattles or 4chan or any other site and you’ll see endless legions of manchildren whining about how corporate supervillain Viper is an obvious Trump parody or how Nick Spencer claims all cops are evil. At every step, this book is lambasted for lacking nuance subtlety or moral ambiguity as if any of those things were needed here. And yet people who should be talking about this book only pay attention to it when they can bash it as well. Yes, I’m talking here about last week’s issue with “SJWs parody” (by the way, one time the book took a jab at liberals in 2016? Turned out to be a robot and ploy by Hydra. So maybe give a guy a benefit of doubt?). I’m sorry, but when was this entire publicity when the book introduced new Falcon, who is a Latino-American illegal immigrant who likes leaving food and water on most dangerous routes from Mexico to America? When it was when he made an issue about Misty Knight hunting down a criminal who was using robots to make sex tapes of superheroines to ruin their reputation? When it was when Sam Wilson made a speech at Jim Rhodes’ funeral, about how much of an inspiration to black community he was? Oh right, everyone were too busy over the fact that Sam had a meeting with Black Panther, Storm, Luke Cage, Monica Rembeau, Misty Knight and Nick Fury Jr. before the funeral, either accusing the title of being racist to show so many black superheroes know each other or accusing it of being racist because, and I quote, “Tony should be there!”. It makes me sad this title gets so little love, despite how often and unapologetically it speaks against current problems and isn’t afraid of siding against the system or the “centrism” it’s now being accused of supporting. And because of prominent roles played by Falcon, Rage and during Standoff also Kobik, it qualifies here and deserves a recognition.

The next title on the list caused much less controversy. In fact, it’s being celebrated by pretty much everyone interested. Deathstroke. A triumphant return of legendary Christopher Priest to the comics mainstream after 9 years long absence, that fixes the unholy sea of shit that the New 52 was for Slade, Rose and Joey Wilson. Not everything it does is flattering to the characters – Jericho, for example, is trying to get back into the closet, something that has already been pointed out to be clearly caused by his daddy issues. But this is also why the book is allowed to get away with it. It’s an unapologetic portrayal of Slade as a destructive force who damages everyone he touches, whenever he wants or not and it explores both the impact he had on Rose and Joey as well as their complicated relationships. At the same time it is possibly only comics in the big two that is doing a serious, gritty (and I mean here real gritty, not the “GUN! MURDER! FIGHTS! SEX!” misunderstood gritty that comics tried to do since the 90s) mix of military drama and spy thriller as it examines Slade’s past and how it constantly comes back to haunt him and his family. The book is great at juggling many plotlines and tones, so one moment we can have a serious military story about Slade, followed by Rose kicking asses to lighter moments with Joey.

While Captain America: Sam Wilson was lambasted by the media and Deathstroke was allowed quiet existence with well-deserved critical acclaim, our next book is somewhere between them. Undeniably a critics’ darling, it had caused some backlash over the treatment of at least one character. The Vision. Dark, depressing tale of Vision and his newly-created family that mixes a heavy drama with psychological horror in science fiction dressing. The book focuses heavily on the family, as they struggle to salvage as much of the crumbling normality they’ve built. Because of it I had a hard time deciding whenever to qualify this book here or as an ensemble title (as even the title can be read in two ways). But in the end, even when he doesn’t do much at given issue, Vision is the one the emotional weight revolves around. It’s his obsession with normalcy and emotional neglect, that contribute to Virginia’s progressively worsening mental state, which also impacts Vin and Viv. It’s only with the addition of Victor Mancha, Vision’s more human brother, that we can realize how damaged Vision himself is. Of course, the controversial treatment of Victor by this book was something we’ve been discussing several times by now and I had to establish my position on the issue more than once. I still feel that the direction the book has taken Victor in id not ruin the character and had potential, which is why I find the decision to kill him to be one big disappointment in an otherwise excellent title. Despite that one blunder, however, Vision remains one of the best titles of the year. Among many good titles helped put Tom King’s name on the map, while also having an unusual, beautiful art by Gabriel Walta.

And finally the last book in this category and also the one I think I’ve enjoyed the most. Superman. Alongside its sister series, Action Comics, the book establishes return of pre-Flashpoint Superman as a prominent figure in DC Universe, while also exploring a completely new direction. Superman is now not only married to Lois, but they also have a son. Young Jon Kent is a fun character, who is learning about responsibilities that come with his powers and legacy of being the son of Superman. Of course he is lucky enough to have Clark and Lois, who are fantastic parents. Clark, or Superdad as fans came to call him, proves to be a loving father, who understands how hard it is to grow up with superpowers, so he tries to ease this for Jon as much as he can. Together they visit Dinosaur Island in heartwarming tribute to late Darwyn Cooke and punch evil Kryptonian robot in the face. Not to mention how Clark and Bruce put their sons in a boot camp to teach them some teamwork. Even when the book lacked Jon’s presence, as was the case in the last story of 2016, Supermonster, it still managed to emphasize on him and how important he and Lois are to Superman. It did so by contrasting Clark and Lois’ love with a relationship between Frankenstein and his Bride, whose marriage fell apart after the death of their son. The book establishes Superman as a family man and in doing so reveals a whole new field of stories to tell about the same Man of Steel, that many people have called boring for years.

So, these are my picks for the best titles with teen heroes in a supporting role of 2016. Do you think I’ve missed something or something didn’t deserve the praise? Tell me in comments and reblogs. And remember you can vote in for the awards, by sending my asks, fan mails and submissions.