#demiromantic lan sizhui

[twistedappletree]

TYPE: One-shot

JURISDICTION: It’s extra fluffy with a dash of awkward angst, your honor.

PAIRING: Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui

SIDE CHARACTERS: Lan Jingyi, Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang

ELEMENTS: Lanling setting, canon universe, first kiss, implied SangCheng, Lan Jingyi salivating over chicken (literally), gift-giving, Jin Ling trying to make the first move (emphasis on trying) and Lan Sizhui fixing everything as usual~

•

Beautiful as their surroundings were, Jin Ling’s eyes were hopelessly transfixed on the boy in front of him—his starlight skin in the pastel light, the wonder and joy sparkling in his amethyst eyes, the way each gentle breeze danced through his dark hair and waltzed with the ends of his forehead ribbon.

Jin Ling stared at him intensely and walked further into the grove, the thick layer of petals on the ground cushioning his steps and making him feel weightless.

Every nerve in his body screamed and ached as he walked. Then jogged. Then ran.

•

In which Lan Sizhui keeps disappearing during a visit to Jinlintai, a worried Jin Ling goes looking for him in all the wrong places and an embarrassing run-in with his uncle and Nie Huaisang finally points him in the obvious direction, leading to an unforgettable night.

{AO3}

🌸

The gilded city of Lanling pleasantly echoed with quiet chatter and subtle serenades of bright chimes as Lan Jingyi groaned over his meal. “That’s the third time you’ve asked me in the past hour! I didn’t know where he was thirty minutes ago and I still don’t know where he is now.”

Jin Ling sat across from him at their table outside of the restaurant and crossed his arms. “I just think it’s weird that he hasn’t spent a single day with us since he got here.”

Lan Jingyi listlessly swirled his food around with his chopsticks, the contents of the bowl looking less appetizing each time the other disciple opened his mouth. “Are you his mother or something? It’s really not that weird, he does this all the time when we’re in Caiyi Town.”

A swift foot kicked Lan Jingyi’s shin under the table, causing him to yelp. “I’m just curious, is that a crime?!” Jin Ling slumped back in his seat and looked off to the side. “Figured I’d ask you, since you two are so inseparable.”

Lan Jingyi caught a hint of jealousy in the other boy’s tone and raised a suspicious brow. He finally shoved a piece of chicken into his mouth and chewed with an annoyed rhythm. “First of all, we’re not inseparable. Second of all, I don’t wonder where he is every moment like a paranoid wife—“

Jin Ling suddenly slapped his hand down on the table so hard, Lan Jingyi’s bowl clattered. The young Jin disciple stood and turned his back to him, looking both angry and flustered.

“Leaving so soon, Mistress Jin?” Lan Jingyi teased.

Jin Ling placed a hand on his hip and glared over his shoulder, amber eyes burning a fierce gold in the sunlight. “I’ve hit my limit of Lan nonsense for the day. Run around and do whatever you want, I’m going home.”

Lan Jingyi chewed on another piece of chicken as he watched him leave. “Home? Sure,” he snorted, “See you in thirty minutes.”

Jin Ling was too far to hear him and he definitely wasn’t heading in the direction of Koi Tower. Instead, he walked further into the heart of Lanling and thought about all of the places Lan Sizhui could possibly be.

He didn’t even know why he wanted to find him so badly but there was an unmistakable feeling of dejection and worry festering in the pit of his stomach. Dejection because he felt like Lan Sizhui might be ignoring him and worry because Jin Ling wanted to know if he was okay.

He stopped in the middle of a bustling market street decorated with colorful paper lanterns, hanging ribbons fluttering in the cool breeze and golden chimes beckoning patrons to shop with their gentle song.

Sizhui likes animals, he thought. Maybe…

For some ludicrous reason, this thought compelled him to walk towards the local butcher shop, even though Lan Sizhui’s love for animals would certainly make him writhe at the sight of them being chopped to bits.

Before Jin Ling could turn away, the butcher lit up at the sight of his Jin sect robes, high quality weapons and golden accessories, knowing there was the possibility of a generous sale.

“Young Master Jin!” the butcher called, waving a large bloody knife above his head in greeting.

Jin Ling sneered at the sight and wondered if the man had any idea how insane he looked.

“In the market for some fresh meat? I’ll give you the best cuts!”

“Not interested,” Jin Ling said curtly, waving his hand. “Have you seen a cultivator of the GusuLan clan walking around anywhere?”

The butcher raised his brows, “Ah, I have!”

Jin Ling’s face brightened as he prepared to ask him another question but his face immediately flattened into annoyance as the butcher continued.

“He was practically drooling all over my chickens, making other customers uncomfortable. Had to chase him off before he drove away all my business!”

Jingyi, you idiot.

“I see,” Jin Ling muttered, “Never mind then.” He turned on his heel and began walking off as the butcher called after him.

“W-Wait, Young Master Jin! I’ll discount the cuts just for you!”

Jin Ling ignored him and kept walking, thinking of other places to search for Lan Sizhui.

A group of giggling children suddenly zipped past him towards a vibrant stall of various toys. Jin Ling followed them and browsed the items discreetly, attempting to look as uninterested as possible until one item caught his eye.

A sky blue notebook delicately engraved with silver-leaf clouds and several playful rabbits glimmered in the sun. He picked it up and examined its quality, wondering why it was being sold at a toy stand.

“Do you like it, Young Master?”

The shopkeeper, a tiny old woman with a gentle voice, noticed his interest in the notebook and smiled.

“Is this even for kids?” Jin Ling asked.

“Not necessarily, though I suppose the older tykes would appreciate it more than the little ones,” she explained. “But I’m sure it’ll eventually fall into the hands of a child who’ll treat it as a toy. You’re the first to take such an interest in it.”

Jin Ling blushed at the reason why he was so interested, then frowned at the thought of such beautiful craftsmanship being chewed and slobbered on by some random brat. “I’ll take it.”

The shopkeeper’s eyes widened with awe and delight. “Truly? It’s a bit pricey—“

Jin Ling shot her an annoyed glare, insulted that she’d even question his wealth.

She passively waved her hands in the air. “My apologies, Young Master—let me wrap this for you!”

The shopkeeper folded a cloth around the notebook to protect it and graciously exchanged it for Jin Ling’s money.

Jin Ling now had a peace offering in case he actually did do something to make Lan Sizhui ignore him, which was what his anxiety genuinely made him believe. He safely tucked the notebook into a leather pouch on his belt and continued through the market.

He likes tea, he thought, rubbing the bridge of his nose while realizing he might not know Lan Sizhui as well as he thought he did.

The local tea house greeted him with the calming scents of jasmine, mint and ginger as he stepped inside. An enthusiastic waiter immediately ushered him to a free table and served a fresh pot of tea that remained untouched as Jin Ling scanned every inch of the tea house for Lan Sizhui.

Just then, two very familiar voices sounded from the table next to his. Both tables were separated by a dividing screen but the voices were unmistakable.

He immediately stood and whipped his head around the screen. “Uncle?!”

Jiang Cheng jumped to his feet so fast his hair ribbon came untied, thanks to a stunned Nie Huaisang who was still seated with one end of the ribbon clutched in his hand.

Nie Huaisang promptly shoved the ribbon behind him and snapped open his fan, trying to hide the blush on his face.

Jin Ling glared at him, then narrowed his eyes at his uncle. “You’re with him again? Why?”

Jiang Cheng glowered dangerously. “I fail to see how that’s any of your business. Why aren’t you training?”

Jin Ling pointed his chin and crossed his arms. “I already trained today—“

“Then go train some more—!”

“I’m looking for someone!”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes glittered with interest as he peeked over his fan. “Oh? I might be able to help with that.”

Jiang Cheng scowled. “Shut up, Huaisang.”

“So meeeaaan, Jiang-xiong!” Nie Huaisang whined and stared up at him with the eyes of a kicked puppy.

Jin Ling scrunched his nose at the ridiculous sight, legitimately wondering if he entered a tea house or the circus. “I’m looking for Sizhui.”

Jiang Cheng raised a brow. “Who?”

“One of the little Lan boys, Jiang-xiong,” Nie Huaisang clarified.

Jiang Cheng’s jaw twitched at the mention of the Lans. “We saw one earlier getting kicked out of the butcher shop—“

“The funny one,” Nie Huaisang chimed.

Jin Ling narrowed his eyes. “He’s not funny—“

“A-Ling is talking about the boring one.”

“He’s not boring!” Jin Ling snapped. “And don’t call me A-Ling!”

Nie Huaisang waved his fan in front of his face, not expecting such an impassioned response. “Okay, okay! Truce, Young Master Jin!”

“Have you seen him or not?” Jin Ling barked, clearly losing his patience.

Nie Huaisang thought for a moment then lowered his fan. “No.”

“Great!” Jin Ling shouted, voice dripping in sarcasm as he threw his hands up and turned away.

“Jin Ling!”

The young Jin disciple turned to stone at the sound of his uncle’s voice and slowly pivoted back around to face Jiang Cheng’s intense, electrified glare.

“Stop acting like a child,” Jiang Cheng scolded. “You will show your seniors respect.”

Jin Ling still wanted to protest but he frowned at the floor and slumped with defeat. “Yes, uncle.”

Nie Huaisang stared up at Jiang Cheng and fluttered his fan like a swooning maiden before looking back at Jin Ling. “Just because I haven’t seen him doesn’t mean I don’t know where he is.”

Jin Ling furrowed his brow. “What does that even mean?”

“It means,” Nie Huaisang started, pausing to take a sip of his tea, “That in order to find a Lan, you must think like a Lan.”

His cryptic sentences were driving Jin Ling up the wall. Even Jiang Cheng slid back down to his seat and closed his eyes, seemingly meditating to drown out Nie Huaisang’s nonsense.

“Just think about it,” Nie Huaisang chirped. “What do the Lan’s love to do more than anything else?”

“Get kicked out of butcher shops, apparently,” Jiang Cheng muttered.

Jin Ling snorted and Nie Huaisang tapped his fan on Jiang Cheng’s head who batted it away like a vexed cat.

“I’m not talking about that Lan, I’m talking about the normal ones,” Nie Huaisang corrected.

A dismissive sound hissed through Jiang Cheng’s teeth. “Are any of them normal?”

“They like to study,” Jin Ling interrupted, ignoring their banter. “And—“ His face suddenly blanched and he mentally kicked himself for being so dense.

Nie Huaisang brightened and passed him a knowing look while Jiang Cheng’s eyes flicked between them, utterly confused.

“I have to go.” Jin Ling hastily bowed to them both and scampered off towards the entrance.

“You better be training when I get back to Koi Tower!” Jiang Cheng shouted after him.

Nie Huaisang noticed the vein on Jiang Cheng’s forehead and fanned some cool air in his direction. “Let him be, Jiang-xiong.”

Jiang Cheng grumbled and leaned back with crossed arms. “The hell was that about, anyway?”

Nie Huaisang grinned and refilled their tea cups. “Something you wouldn’t understand—not yet, at least.” He retrieved Jiang Cheng’s hair ribbon and wound it playfully around his own wrist. “How about we continue our… conversation.”

Outside of the tea house, several people moved away and watched as Jin Ling raced through the market and skidded to a stop in front of Lanling’s bookshop. He swung open the door and marched inside.

“Welcome, Young Master—“ the shopkeeper’s greeting was cut short as Jin Ling planted both of his hands on the counter and stared at him intensely.

“Lan disciple. Tall, quiet, too nice for his own good. Where is he?”

The aggressive tone of Jin Ling’s voice made the shopkeeper go rigid with hesitation. “Y-Young Master, if you’ve a quarrel with him, may I ask that you settle it outside? These books are quite fragile and—“

Jin Ling furrowed his brow. “Huh? I’m not here to fight him, I just need to talk to him.”

The shopkeeper exhaled with relief and nodded. “Right, thank you… he’s in the back of the shop, I believe.”

Jin Ling headed further into the bookshop, passing several shelves filled with scrolls, ink pots and brushes until he reached the back.

Lan Sizhui was sitting on the floor hunched over several books that were fanned out in front of him as neatly as possible. He dipped a brush into an ink pot and scribbled something on a piece of parchment, so immersed that he failed to notice he wasn’t alone.

Jin Ling crossed his arms and arched a brow. “You got enough books?”

Lan Sizhui whipped his head up in surprise, his amethyst eyes sparkling in the warm lantern light. “Young Master Jin…? What are you doing here?” His face suddenly paled and morphed into pure worry. “Is Jingyi okay? He didn’t break anything again, did he?!”

Jin Ling’s face twisted and he rolled his eyes. “He’s fine and I’m pretty sure the town is still intact.”

Lan Sizhui sighed with relief, tension leaving his shoulders. “Did Hanguang-Jun send you?”

“Nobody sent me,” Jin Ling muttered, sounding slightly annoyed. “I came here because—“ He stopped and bit the inside of his cheek, forcing himself to finish his sentence. “Because I wanted to see you.”

Lan Sizhui blinked at him before whispering a small, “Oh…” He folded his hands in his lap and gave him a concerned look. “Are you okay? Did you need help with something?”

Jin Ling shook his head and looked off to the side to avoid eye contact. “It’s just… we haven’t really talked since you got here and I thought maybe… maybe I did something to make you ignore me.” He mentally cursed at himself and dug the toe of his boot into the floor. “Never mind, forget I said anything, it’s stupid—“

“No,” Lan Sizhui interjected, looking up at him with a softness in his eyes and a frown on his lips. “It’s not stupid. I apologize for making you feel that way, Young Master Jin—I haven’t been ignoring you, I promise.”

Jin Ling’s eyes remained crestfallen as he peered at Lan Sizhui through his bangs.

His solemn expression didn’t go unnoticed by the Lan boy, who nodded at his books and smiled. “I know it sounds crazy but I’ve been studying. When I find something I really want to learn, I get a bit obsessed with it.”

Jin Ling surveyed the open books and lifted a brow. “So that’s what all this stuff is?”

Lan Sizhui nodded and patted the empty space next to him. “Come sit, I’ll show you what I’ve been working on. Maybe you can help me.”

The sudden invitation to join him sent Jin Ling’s heart racing but he quickly realized there was no graceful way to get to him. Lan Sizhui’s impressively large barricade of books made sure of that.

“Careful not to step on the books,” Lan Sizhui mentioned, “I haven’t paid for any of them yet.”

Jin Ling knelt down and grabbed one of the covers. “Why don’t I just close some of the—“

“NO!”

Jin Ling froze and stared at Lan Sizhui in bewilderment, not used to hearing him shout like that.

“Sorry,” said Lan Sizhui, “I’m still taking notes from that one.” He scanned the other books and pondered. “Maybe this one? No… oh! How about—eh, no…”

Jin Ling let out an exasperated sigh and awkwardly tiptoed between the small spaces, wobbling a bit off balance as he finally made it over. Lan Sizhui grabbed Jin Ling’s arm to steady him and gently guided him down to sit.

They were close enough that their shoulders pressed together and Lan Sizhui’s scent of orange blossom and cedar wood flooded Jin Ling’s senses, making him feel warm and lightheaded.

The aroma of ink and old books mixed in as Lan Sizhui dipped his brush and wrote a few notes. Jin Ling leaned over to read them and made a funny face. “Herbology?”

Lan Sizhui nodded. “I’ve been studying herbal remedies to use during night hunts in case anyone gets injured.” He pointed at one of the open books. “There’s also ways to use certain herbs for coating weapons and making them toxic to your enemies. We’d… have to use those carefully though, especially with Jingyi around. You know how he likes to touch things he shouldn’t be touching.”

Lan Sizhui laughed quietly and Jin Ling took a moment to get lost in the sound of the Lan boy’s voice, listening to him passionately go over what he’d learned.

Neither of them realized how close their faces were until Lan Sizhui turned to look at Jin Ling and accidentally brushed his nose against the other boy’s cheek.

Both of them jolted back and Lan Sizhui lifted his hand to his face, entirely forgetting about the brush he was holding. Jin Ling stared at him for a moment, then slowly broke into a fit of quiet laughter.

Lan Sizhui frowned and tilted his head. “What is it?”

“You—“ Jin Ling paused and swallowed another laugh, “You have ink on your face.”

“Oh!” Lan Sizhui reached his hand up to wipe it off. “Here?”

“Other side,” Jin Ling corrected.

Lan Sizhui wiped the other side of his face. “Did I get it?”

“No, it’s lower. By your nose—“ Jin Ling frowned as Lan Sizhui managed to miss it every single time. “L-Look, I’ll just… hold still.”

Lan Sizhui watched him curiously then blushed wildly as the young Jin disciple licked his thumb and leaned in close to clean the ink from his skin.

Something ignited in Lan Sizhui’s chest, molten and sparkling like drunken stars. All he could do was sit there and lose himself in every detail of Jin Ling’s captivating face, his amber eyes undeniably striking in the lantern light.

Jin Ling, on the other hand, noticed what he’d done and ripped himself away. He clutched at his robes above the knees and shook his bangs into his face, mortified by his own actions. “I-I’m sorry, that was—I don’t… I don’t know why I did that—“

“Is it gone?”

Jin Ling lifted his head to see Lan Sizhui smiling and pressing his fingertips to the flushed skin where Jin Ling had touched him, a dreamy glimmer in his amethyst eyes.

“It’s… it’s gone,” Jin Ling managed to mutter. He felt awkward, embarrassed and anxious but seeing Lan Sizhui’s smile settled his nerves a bit.

“Thank you, A-Ling.”

The heat invading Jin Ling’s cheeks was almost unbearable and he quickly filled the looming silence with whatever came to mind. “So… is this really all you’ve been doing all day?”

Lan Sizhui’s mind was still replaying Jin Ling’s hand on his face. The question confused him until he saw Jin Ling poking at one of the books. “Oh, um… well, not all day.” He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. “The bookshop has to close eventually.”

Jin Ling gave him a suspicious look. “But you’re always gone until nightfall. Last time, you barely made it back by nine.” He lifted his chin and glared down his nose. “And don’t lie, I saw you running.”

Lan Sizhui blinked at him and laughed. “You’ve been watching me?”

“Wha—No!” Jin Ling crossed his arms and blew his bangs out of his face. “Don’t be ridiculous! I just happened to see you coming back a few times. I have more important stuff to do, you know.”

Lan Sizhui smiled fondly, unable to find the flustered Jin disciple anything less than adorable. “Of course, A-Ling.”

Suddenly, Lan Sizhui began closing all of the books and stacking them together. Jin Ling watched as the barrier of herbology that gave them an excuse to be so close gradually disappeared. He felt a pang of sadness in the pit of his stomach but did his best to ignore it.

“What are you doing?” Jin Ling asked.

“The shop closes soon,” Lan Sizhui explained. “I’ll have to put some of these back before we leave.”

Jin Ling frowned. “I thought you wanted to buy them?”

Lan Sizhui packed his notes and ink into his qiankun pouch and smiled sheepishly. “I can’t buy all of them, they’re far too expensive. But that’s okay, I don’t need them—“

“Which ones do you want?” Jin Ling interjected, picking up one of the stacks as he got up from the floor.

Lan Sizhui grabbed the other stack and stood up with him. “That’s like asking me which rabbits I’d pick out of a litter.” He laughed and shook his head. “It really is fine, I can just come back and take more notes—“

“Sizhui,” Jin Ling said, his tone resolute. “Take them to the front. I’ll get them for you.”

“But…” As much as he wanted to object, he couldn’t find the right words without sounding ungrateful. “A-Ling, I really can’t afford to pay you back—“

“I’m not doing it so you’ll owe me,” Jin Ling interrupted, sounding a bit insulted. “I want to get them for you. They’re obviously important to you, so I want you to have them.”

Lan Sizhui’s eyes softened and his entire body deflated with defeat, always knowing better than to argue with a determined Jin. “Okay.”

Jin Ling immediately lit up at his acceptance. He adjusted the books in his arms and proudly marched to the front of the store with Lan Sizhui trailing modestly behind.

The shopkeeper’s eyes went wide as the two of them placed the stacks of books on the counter, followed by a large sum of money from Jin Ling’s wallet that Lan Sizhui was actively trying not to look at.

“Have these wrapped and sent to Koi Tower, to the Lan disciples’ guest rooms,” Jin Ling ordered. “Make sure they get there by tonight.”

The shopkeeper slowly nodded, staring at the money with a dumbfounded look. “Right away, Young Master! Thank you!”

Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui exited the shop together and stepped out into the now peaceful and quiet market street as the evening sun painted Lanling in warm gold.

The fresh air helped calm Lan Sizhui, especially after being holed up in the bookshop all day. He turned to the young Jin disciple beside him and smiled. “Thank you, A-Ling. I’m not sure if this would be repayment enough but would you like to see what’s been keeping me out so long? I think you’ll like it.”

Jin Ling eyed him curiously. “We’re… we’re not gonna go talk to ghosts, are we?”

Lan Sizhui laughed and shook his head. “No ghosts, I promise. This is something special.”

An electric feeling spiked Jin Ling’s heart rate. He wasn’t sure what Lan Sizhui meant by ‘special’ but it both excited and terrified him.

“I thought about keeping it to myself but I’d like to share it with you,” Lan Sizhui added. “We should leave before the sun sets. It’s best when there’s still daylight.”

“Let’s go,” Jin Ling blurted, almost prematurely. Lan Sizhui beamed at his instant response and gestured for him to follow.

They passed through the market streets, residential districts and eventually into Lanling’s farmlands. Lan Sizhui veered off of the main road, leading Jin Ling past a large pond and through the weeping leaves of an old willow.

As they emerged from the leaves, they were greeted by a seemingly endless grove of cherry blossom trees. Sunlight filtered through the canopies and colored the grove in ethereal shades of soft pink as a rain of loose petals delicately fluttered to the ground around them.

Lan Sizhui had already gone further ahead, his white robes a striking contrast against the backdrop of deep, rich bark and blushing blossoms. A few falling petals clung to his raven hair as he spun around with a bright smile on his face.

Beautiful as their surroundings were, Jin Ling’s eyes were hopelessly transfixed on the boy in front of him—his starlight skin in the pastel light, the wonder and joy sparkling in his amethyst eyes, the way each gentle breeze danced through his dark hair and waltzed with the ends of his forehead ribbon.

Jin Ling stared at him intensely and walked further into the grove, the thick layer of petals on the ground cushioning his steps and making him feel weightless.

Every nerve in his body screamed and ached as he walked. Then jogged. Then ran.

Lan Sizhui barely had time to react before Jin Ling’s body crashed into his. He would’ve been knocked backwards if Jin Ling’s arms hadn’t wrapped around his waist and grounded him.

The Lan boy’s eyes went wide and his heart skipped a beat before racing uncontrollably, small flurries of pink petals flying off of his robes from the impact. He looked down to find Jin Ling’s face buried against his chest, a subtle bouquet of scarlet peach and clove melding with his own scent of orange blossom and cedar wood.

For a moment, Lan Sizhui worried if Jin Ling was okay but the other disciple didn’t seem upset in the slightest. He was just holding him, as though he’d been waiting to hold him his entire life.

Without another thought, Lan Sizhui embraced Jin Ling, pressing their bodies even closer together. He sunk his fingers into the other boy’s long hair, cool and soft as burnt umber silk.

The world was quiet around them, save for a gentle breeze whispering through the cherry blossoms and matching the now peaceful rhythm of their heartbeats.

As if stirring from a dream, Jin Ling lazily lifted his head but kept his eyes downcast, still too nervous to look Lan Sizhui in the eyes in case everything happening really was his imagination.

But Lan Sizhui had an immaculate talent for making things feel both dreamlike and real. It was his low, gentle voice saying his name that finally gave Jin Ling the courage to look at him.

Lan Sizhui smiled one of his impossibly charming, lopsided smiles that made Jin Ling’s heart flutter and his head spin. The Lan boy’s head was covered in petals and Jin Ling instinctively reached up to dust them off as though he’d done so a million times before.

“You’re gonna turn into a cherry blossom tree,” Jin Ling muttered, fussing over every petal while knowing it was just an excuse to keep touching him.

Lan Sizhui chuckled and tilted his head. “If I do, will you come and visit me?”

Jin Ling narrowed his eyes, exactly as Lan Sizhui expected he would. He then mumbled a quick shut up—also expected.

What Lan Sizhui didn’t expect was Jin Ling’s hands abruptly cupping his face and pulling him down into a spontaneous yet timid kiss. He froze with shock, eyes wide as Jin Ling’s lips trembled against his.

After realizing Lan Sizhui didn’t kiss him back, Jin Ling’s hands slipped from the other boy’s face. Anxiety and mortification wracked his body as he stumbled backwards and clenched his shaking fists at his side. “I… I’m—“

Just as he was about to turn and run, Lan Sizhui lunged forward and grabbed his hand. “A-Ling, don’t—“

“I’m sorry,” Jin Ling choked, eyes glossed and burning. I ruined everything, he thought. “Sizhui, I’m—“

He wasn’t given the chance to repeat his apology as Lan Sizhui tugged him into another embrace. “Don’t go,” he whispered. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

The second Jin Ling’s strained posture relaxed in his arms, Lan Sizhui felt tears soaking into the lapels of his robes. He barely pulled away to smile down at the young Jin disciple, lifting a hand to brush his hair out of his face and wipe the tears from his cheeks.

“You really know how to make someone speechless, A-Ling,” Lan Sizhui jested. “Can we try that again?”

Jin Ling nodded up at him, shivering when Lan Sizhui’s fingertips brushed along his jaw and tilted his chin. The Lan boy’s thumb gently passed over Jin Ling’s bottom lip before he leaned in close and…

The kiss was nothing like Jin Ling’s impulsive, hesitant crashing of lips.

Lan Sizhui’s kiss was soft, slow and confident, giving Jin Ling the overwhelming assurance that both of them wanted this. He stood on the tips of his toes, launching himself deeper into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Lan Sizhui’s neck and carded his fingers through his raven hair.

The blush on both boy’s cheeks had never burned so bright as they explored and experimented with angles, movements, holding each other’s face, neck, waist. Neither of them had the slightest idea what they were doing, having never kissed anyone before but they quickly found a steady rhythm with each other’s guidance.

Jin Ling let his guard fall entirely, feeling dizzy and wanted and safe in Lan Sizhui’s arms. His surrender emboldened Lan Sizhui to hold him tighter, kiss him deeper, anything to let him know how elated he was that his feelings for him were requited.

They slowly broke the kiss but stayed close, warm breaths tickling each other's skin as they exhaled. Lan Sizhui surprised Jin Ling by pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. He smiled against his skin and Jin Ling stared at him in a trance, unable to look away.

A few cherry blossom petals fluttered between their faces, bringing the world around them back into focus. Lan Sizhui looked up to find that the bright evening light was now a deep orange, blanketing the grove in hazy twilight. “It’ll be dark soon,” he said, looking back at Jin Ling. “There’s one more thing I wanted to show you but I’d hate to get you in trouble with Sect Leader Jiang.”

Jin Ling recalled finding his uncle with Nie Huaisang at the tea house, knowing all too well that Jin Ling was the last thing on their minds. “Trust me, he’s occupied.” He absentmindedly played with a lock of Lan Sizhui’s hair as he continued. “Besides, he’ll only come here if I use a flare, so unless you plan on murdering me or something…”

Lan Sizhui blinked at him and laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t make a habit of murdering people I lo—“He stopped himself and nervously glanced at his feet.

“People you…?” Jin Ling raised a curious brow and waited for him to finish, his heart beating quicker.

“P-People I care about,” Lan Sizhui sputtered.

Jin Ling knew that wasn’t what he originally meant to say but it was still painfully sweet and the Lan boy was hopelessly adorable when he was flustered. “Well, good,” Jin Ling asserted, eyes narrowing mischievously. “Don’t think I wouldn’t fight back just because I like you.”

Lan Sizhui grinned admiringly, the young Jin disciple’s playfulness easing his nerves. “I’d expect nothing less. But you’ll never have to worry about that, A-Ling.”

Hearing his name in the low, dulcet tone of Lan Sizhui’s voice made the tips of Jin Ling’s ears redden and his chest flood with light. He looked down and fidgeted with one of his bracers. “So… what else did you want to show me?”

“Oh!” Lan Sizhui’s face illuminated with recollection as he broke himself out of the amorous spell they’d both been under. He glanced up at the darkening sky and smiled. “Perfect timing.”

Lan Sizhui held his hand out to Jin Ling who took it without hesitation, his mind immediately obsessing over the comforting sensation of the Lan boy’s strong, slender fingers wrapping around his own.

They moved further into the grove until they came upon a large cherry blossom tree that caved into an alcove at the base of its trunk. The two disciples sat down together and nestled into the space, Jin Ling quickly realizing the tree was giving him another chance to cozy up with the handsome boy beside him.

The wind seemed to approve of this scenario as a cold gust of night air whipped past and made him shiver against Lan Sizhui who was quick to act, shrugging off his outer robe and chivalrously draping it over Jin Ling’s shoulders. He wrapped his arm around him and held him closer as he nodded towards the grove. “Ready?”

Jin Ling mentally thanked the night for masking the blush on his face and leaned against Lan Sizhui, soaking up the warmth of his embrace.

Just then, something in the grove caught his eye. Little glowing balls of green light began flickering to life all around them—clinging to the grass, floating in the air, dappling the cherry blossoms’ canopies with ethereal fluorescence.

Jin Ling’s eyes lit up and darted everywhere, an excited smile spreading across his face. “Fireflies!”

Lan Sizhui grinned at his reaction and nodded. “They seem to like it here, probably because it’s so close to the pond—Ah! Hold on.”

He removed his arm from around Jin Ling, who frowned and huddled closer as Lan Sizhui rummaged through his qiankun pouch and sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Jin Ling asked.

“I think I left my extra parchment at the bookshop,” Lan Sizhui explained. “I usually continue studying out here, but…” He glanced at Jin Ling then closed his qiankun pouch and smiled. “It’s not important, especially right now.”

Jin Ling suddenly straightened, remembering the notebook he’d bought for him at the market. A warm expression verging on bashful washed over his face as he fiddled with the leather pouch at his waist. “Um… A-Yuan?”

Lan Sizhui raised his brows in surprise, making sure he heard him right.

“Don’t get mad at me,” Jin Ling started, “But I got you something else from the market.”

The Lan boy watched curiously as Jin Ling removed something wrapped in cloth from the pouch on his belt and handed it to him. Lan Sizhui carefully unwrapped it while Jin Ling rambled nervously.

“If… if you don’t like it, it’s okay. I can take it back or you can give it to someone else or—“

Lan Sizhui’s mouth fell open upon seeing the magical cover of the notebook that emerged from the fabric—rich sky blue decorated with silver clouds and rabbits glimmering brilliantly in the moonlight. Occasional flashes of green reflected in the silver from the fireflies flitting above.

He gingerly ran his fingers along the cover and smiled, shaking his head. “How could I be mad at you? This is beautiful, A-Ling. But…”

Jin Ling’s heart sank for a moment before Lan Sizhui finished his sentence.

“It looks expensive. I hope you didn’t have to pay too much for it.”

The young Jin disciple exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding and narrowed his eyes. “You—what did I say earlier?! Don’t worry about that.” He pulled Lan Sizhui’s robe tighter around his shoulders and mumbled, “It’s… it’s just something I thought you’d like.”

Lan Sizhui gently nudged his shoulder against Jin Ling’s and beamed. “I love it. Thank you.”

Jin Ling huffed and leaned into him, watching the fireflies as the Lan boy fished his brush and ink pot from his qiankun pouch and began writing in the notebook.

Curiosity eventually took hold of Jin Ling and he looked down at the page to see a drawing of a flower he didn’t recognize, followed by a brief description:

Golden petals like velvet sun. Thorns are deceptive, soft to the touch. Defiantly grows alone but flourishes with others when given the chance. Unparalleled beauty. Inspires an overwhelming sense of euphoria when seen or touched.

He furrowed his brow after reading. “What kind of flower is that?”

Lan Sizhui looked up from the notebook with a smile. “A very special one.”

Jin Ling glanced around the grove and frowned. “I don’t see any flowers like that here.” He looked up at Lan Sizhui with a pout. “You’ll have to show it to me sometime.”

Lan Sizhui responded by leaning down and pressing a kiss to his forehead, making Jin Ling’s cheeks redden. “I will.”

The young Jin disciple rested his head against the Lan boy’s shoulder and watched the fireflies waltz with falling blossoms in the tranquil grove. Lan Sizhui sighed contentedly and continued writing, eyes frequently wandering to Jin Ling as he added more notes about the ‘flower.’

Sweet to taste, heaven to hold, a privilege to love—

Someday, he’ll see what I see.

{ 🖤 }