#della knows whats up
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I think the worst bit for me about all Those Sorts (you know the type) of fics is that they always take Della extremely out of character in order to make her the 'antagonist.'
And that sucks because it's just not necessary! It's the worst because you can have Della & Louie angst where Della's the 'antagonist,' and it's in-character.
You just have to have Louie be wrong in the end (kind of).
The reason why Della and Louie clash in Timephoon and Glomtales! isn't because Della 'disapproves of scheming in entirety' or something, it's because she's done the same goddamn thing as him.
(And side note- Timephoon is honestly an amazing piece of storytelling, because it allows us to see Della's thought process for taking the Spear of Selene by showing us Louie doing pretty much the same thing.)
She's been through it all before, and she knows how it ends.
And that fucking terrifies her! The idea that one of her kids is making the same mistakes as her, could go through the same thing as she did, and she's the only one who can see it, is terrifying.
The way to start out a story like this is simple; have an adventure go wrong. Not in a deadly way, not in a way that's caused by Louie (at least, not that anyone but him notices), not in a way that costs anyone their life- but in a way that causes them to lose the treasure. The adventure is a failure, and they have to come back empty handed, like New Gods on the Block.
Maybe some people get hurt, maybe it's vaguely Louie's fault (and even then- it'd be better if it wasn't even his fault, it's just his brain connecting patterns where there aren't any), but the most important part is that they don't get the treasure, and it's like- one of those ones that can only be found once every hundred years or something.
Louie feels responsible (I mean all of the kids do, but as it'd be a Louie story he'd be the one focused on) and upset that they want to all that trouble and don't have anything to show for it, so he tries to figure out some way to go on the adventure again.
Turns out, after a bit of research, there is a way to get to the treasure again! Louie brings it to Scrooge's attention excitedly- but Scrooge turns it down. Says it's too dangerous, that they're not doing it, end of story.
...Not end of story- everyone's still obviously miserable. So Louie decides that 'okay, if it's 'too dangerous,' then I'll just go in secret. It'll be fine, Scrooge is just overreacting.'
So he starts trying to put a plan into place to get the treasure in secret- but Della, somehow, seems to know what he's doing (hint: it's because she knows what she'd do if she was in Louie's shoes). And is consistently getting in his way.
And there you go- a perfect setup to have Della consistently and purposefully stepping on Louie's toes, getting in his way, trying to stop him from doing things, and it's even in-character! It'd probably start out with the two acting like everything's perfectly hunky-dory, even though both of them know that the other knows that they know that the other knows why they did this one thing.
As plans get deeper, it'd escalate to Della trying to actively call Louie out, but he always manages to just barely weasel his way out of it, and eventually commence his plan.
It obviously goes wrong. But Della's there to help. And finally she'd actually explain why the fuck she's been something of a thorn in his side for the past few weeks, why it seems like she knows what he's thinking: because she does.
Because she's been through the same thing.
Because she fucked up, and left her stranded on the moon for ten years, and she does not want that for her kid. (And of course everything could've been solved if she'd just sat down and talked to Louie about that at the onset, but it's Della- she only likes to bring up the moon when it's funny. She would've thought 'nah it's fine, I can handle this, I don't need to bare my soul, I shouldn't burden anyone with that' without realizing that oh yeah, no, that's the exact same thought process she doesn't want Louie to think)
And of course they'd argue, because it'd be a high-stress situation and neither of them would have the composure to pretend that everything's alright and they haven't been sniping at each other for the past week or so, and eventually it'd finally come up; eventually, they'd finally bring up that they thought the exact same thing when Louie did this, when Louie took the Timetub, when Della took the Spear.
'...And if anything goes wrong, at least I'm the only one who'll get hurt.' (Because you cannot tell me that that was not the last thought running through both of their heads when they took the timetub/Spear of Selene, you cannot convince me that they didn't think they were doing right by their families in that moment, that they hadn't done their due diligence and minimized risk down to one person.)
And Louie wouldn't understand, because he did the right thing. He minimized risk, he made sure nobody else would get hurt. But that's wrong- because if he got hurt, then Della (Donald, Scrooge, their family, her kids) would get hurt too. That they could fly into a vacuum all they wanted, but at the end of the day, they still didn't exist in one.
Eventually, they'd get out of there and abandon the mission again. Maybe they'd succeed, but probably not. But that's not important- what'd be important is that they were both safe and alive and okay.
There- a Della & Louie thing, extremely angsty, well Della as the 'antagonist,' and it's all in-character. Easy.
#ducktales#dt17#della duck#louie duck#the 'adventure that can only be done every hundred years with one extremely dangerous exception' can obviously be interchanged with a lot#all that's really necessary is that louie has a plan that he thinks is good for everyone#(and in order to make it good for everyone he does his best to make sure that he's the only one who'd get affected by it should it go wrong#and Della gets underfoot and messes with everything consistently and frustratingly without explaining anything for the longest time#(because she's terrible about actually opening up about the fact that yeah no she's fucked up)#(and she doesn't want to force that onto her kids or acknowledge it at all- at least if it's not a joke)#because she knows exactly what he's doing because it's what she'd do#and she knows what happened the last time she pulled that sort of stunt
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S1-3 Virtualization - Blow dryer ed.
#i don't even know what this is—i just wanted to gif ulrich and odd since i couldn't find gifs of their scenes at this part#ended up including aelita and yumi because why not#code lyoko#odd della robbia#ulrich stern#aelita schaeffer#aelita stones#aelita hopper#girl pick a last name😭#yumi ishiyama#code lyoko odd#code lyoko ulrich#code lyoko aelita#code lyoko yumi#i was actually studying how differently odd and ulrich's side profiles are drawn here compared to everywhere else in the series lol#the hair also makes me do backflips in bed like the animation buff i am#edit days later: i ended up finding one tumblr post of the main trio lol—still leaving this one here tho
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my timephoon hot take is that the episode was literally fine, it's the episodes that came AFTER it that fucked things up
#the final confrontation where louie and della say that shit to eachother? peak televesion#the next episodes shouldve. yk. resolved that#but by having the premise be “the entire family is goign to disneyland and leaving louie behind” uh...?#i get what they were going for but they fumbled so hard#timephoon introduces a lot of conflicts that the next episodes SHOULD have resolved#but they didn't. at least not well#like della and louie should've had a proper conversation#and also i dont think della was wrong for steppin in at the end of timephoon like that was warranted#her wording and execution? far from perfect#but she's trying#also. timphoon was fine yes but it could have been way better still#i would have preffered it if they went more in depth about the struggles of motherhood and how beakley and della both felt about it#give me beakley being vulnerable and opening up about how hard its been raising webby alone and how she GETS it#she gets not knowing what to do#she was a spy#she has no idea how to be soft and motherly but she's learned and she's trying and she did it alone#and she doesn't want della to be as alone as she was so she tries to help#but she's a certified grizzled ex spy so fuck if she knows how to be gentle about it#so it just makes della MORE insecur because beakley seems to have it all together#and i wish there was a scene where they could talk to eachother and beakley could admit that she doesn't#she's made mistakes she's fucked up but she's trying and aren't they all?#but yeah. for what timephoon was#it wasn't bad#but the following episodes fumbled#i forget if it was in timephoon or next erpisode were we got della telling louie to shape up or he couldn't be part of the family#like again that was BAD! BUT#it wuld have worked if the show adressed and had her learn from it#and showed that it wasnt out of malice its because she was doing her best!#but they didn't#they were...weird with it
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#Della is a deeply flawed individual. I love her so very much#I also love Louie and Donald and if you use love for them as an excuse to hate on Della then BOOOOO 👎 YOU'RE LAME#That being said I will not be continuing to have this conversation anymore because A) this is like the 40th time I'm tired#and B) we should all know by now that this is not the place to have nuanced discussion about flawed female characters#you COULD write long posts about whether you love or hate Della Duck but you know what's even better than that?#READING PAPERINIK NEW ADVENTURES. PKNA NATION STRONG FOREVER!!! ALSO JOIN OUR BOOK CLUB @DUCKBLR-BOOK-CLUB#WHO UP UNOING THEY ORB#ducktales
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#I've been listening to Il nome della rosa di Ad alta voce and I've just found out it's an abridged version#I thought some parts were missing but I've read the book so long ago that I couldn't be sure#this is terribly annoying though because I'm reading two books and the idea is that I can listen to this one#and I don't want to drop it but at the same time#what's the point of reading a book when you know it has been cut up#and you have it at home unabridged#and Moni Ovadia is so good it's wonderful listening to him#I think I'll keep going. I'm at ep 10 of 30. but to say I'm disappointed is an understatement#I've also completely dropped I ragazzi di Von Gloeden for what must be the fifth time#I think I'm just going to buy it because I'm clearly having trouble reading a non physical copy#where to buy it though if I don't want to use amazon or ibs. Oh well#personal#also when you're not reading the unabridged version you should say it upfront. Fair's fair
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Poor Hamilton...
+ Bonus: Live Della Reaction
#hamilton burger#perry mason#tcot wrongful writ#I dont know why Della is making such a bitchy face in the background LOL#you can literally see Hamilton's soul leaving his body in the second to last gif#like he fully has ascended to a new plane of having to put up with Perry's shit#also Perry's little smile in the second gif is so cute#hes like hehe hamilton what you miss me??#then immediately does something incredibly annoying#iconic
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i must be the only (kind of) unironic aldella shipper in this entire fandom.
(ranting in the tags)
#kotlc#kotlc aldella#kotlc vackers#kotlc della#kotlc alden#alden vacker#della vacker#aldella#does it matter that i kinda headcanon them to be slightly toxic? no no it does not thanks for asking#they could be so interesting if their relationship was explored more in-depth#and i am NOT saying it's shannon's fault that it hasn't been explored btw i am NOT blaming shannon#obviously since the story is told through sophie's eyes we only get what she sees but augh i want more#hanging my hopes on that short story collection shannon claims she'll write after the series is over#i want more of them from THEIR perspective#just! the lack of trust! the regret! the performative (imo) relationship! the strangely idealistic marriage! the emphasis on beauty!#and! the stiffness around each other! going through the motions! doing their part in the relationship but something feels off!#it's so good i need more i need them to be more fucked up i need them to be more toxic#but in the end they still love each other (or at least they think they do) but it's . . . warped (maybe they really DO love each other?)#the perfect marriage with the perfect children in the perfect family . . . will the facade last . . . and is it really even a facade#just#THEM#they need to be head over heels for each other and yet it's performative at the same time do you see the vision tell me you see the vision#they each NEED to have a side the other has never seen and nobody else has ever seen and they are each terrified of it#and don't want the other to know#because then they'll be less perfect but in reality telling each other would make them stronger do you see what i see#the two-faced-ness would make them more fucked up and less fucked up all at once because they are scared of it but it brings them closer#*shakes you* DO YOU UNDERSTAND TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND#anyway#*scoots away from you* totally normal about aldella nothing going on here nope no siree
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eddie and his friends are so sick of steve and the other jocks bullying them and they want to humiliate steve in front of his boys so they make up a babe (with the help of robin) and flirt with him via texting
and it works so well and steve falls for it when "she" flirts with him and he flirts back to their delight and eddie has so much fun as they're planning what their "gotcha" moment will be
but then steve wants to know more about "her" when eddie is hanging out with robin and they both blank so he just talks about himself and can't believe steve knows what d&d is
and-
#della has ideas#steddie#i really want chocolate rn#it has nothing to do with this idea but i want it#also steve isn't a bully he's just scared to tell his friends off but he does stand up for eddie without knowing what he's doing#they slowly befriend each other#and theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen#the texting shit is dumped like a booom boom crash upon then#steve is hurt#he is very much hurt
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DAMN, DELLA.
Perry made her dress up as a decoy to lure out the murderer and wow, was it a look.
#della street#perry mason#barbara hale#i never would have guessed but she can pull off blonde#and you know there's a part of my brain that's jumping to what she and Perry get up to with that wig after the case is over#the case of the double-entry mind
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a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism
Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.
My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)
This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)
And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.
And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand.
In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.
That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with,
“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”
I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.
I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!).
Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.
If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading!
Sincerely, a tumblr user.
#exiavojtmmc#hermitcraft#matpat#gt#game theory#hc#mcyt#evil xisuma#hbomberguy#plagiarism#james somerton#jeff the minion#mine#micer2012#hcs9
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Yandere Head Canons:
Your Loyal Servant
Yandere Villainess/ Maid x Isekai Princess Fem Reader
TW: obsession, reader is trapped in the girl love/ GL book, DARK CONTENT, horror, yandere themes, cannibalism (reader consumes blood), SOMNIAPHILIA/ NONCON (nipple play), creepy behavior, abuse of power, betrayal, sapphic yearning, etc.
Della was once a princess of the shadow kingdom before she became your servant. A princess with dreams of ruling her kingdom until your kingdom invaded and decimated her home when she was eight. Your family’s knights easily seized her throne since her father had been greedy and tried to conquer your kingdom first. She could never forget the fire and death she saw that day… the day she was dragged up by her black locks and thrown into a cage on a cart to be sold off as a slave. The day her emotions died and left her an empty vessel.
Yet you were her saving grace. You were at the auction that day and you insisted to your butler that you had to buy her. “She’s my age! She can’t possibly become a slave, she’ll die!”
At first, Della was weary of you. Her small body curled up in her cage as she cowered in a fetal position. Did you purchase her to satiate some sort of sick sadistic tendency of yours? To rub in your family’s victory in her face? Della despised you… until you innocently smiled at her. Your hand outstretched to her dirty ones when your purchase was a success. “My name is (your name), what’s yours?”
And despite her current status of being a commoner, you never treated Della like one. You let her take baths with you and held her hand. You always requested her to lay beside you at night for a ‘sleepover.’ Della thought you were strange.
You often invited her for walks in your garden with you and shared your woes with her. Sometimes you’d even sneak her sweets from the tea parties you had to attend. If Della didn’t know any better, she’d say the two of you were friends. Best friends. Yet she never saw you as such. Your conversations were typically one sided.
“Della, I want you to be by my side until I’m old. Can you do that?” You were twelve when you made that request to her. Your maid smiled softly at you.
“Of course, mistress.” You puffed out your cheeks and pouted at her.
“It’s (your name)! You don’t have to be so formal with me all the time. Aren’t we friends?” Della just hummed which only made you sigh. All these years together and Della was still as stiff as a board. It would take years to tear down the walls around Della’s heart despite your attempts to be close to her… it made you terribly sad that you couldn’t tell Della your true secret. The secret that you were from another world trapped in the body of the original heroine, but you doubted she’d believe you. After all, you made it your goal to not die at the hands of this GL novel’s ice cold villainess. You did your absolute best not to let Della fall into depravity and turn to dark magic like she was supposed to in this doomed Yuri novel. You were on a mission to insure her happiness! At least not until you were ready to free her from servitude once you were married off with a nice sum of money. You didn’t want her to suffer…“I will always have your best interest in mind, Della. I just wished you’d see that…”
Even when the two of you grew older, you still insisted on spending time with Della. It often gave the poor maid a headache but she never complained. You were her mistress no matter how much she wanted to ring your pretty little neck with her hands. No matter how much your kindness secretly touched her heart. She was your loyal servant.
Della often found her cheeks flushed when the two of you became teenagers. She couldn’t believe you’d still try to get her to bathe you or lay beside you in bed. You two were practically adults now! That was indecent! Had you no shame as a lady?! Yet another thought couldn’t help but crawl into the back of Della’s mind. Was there a possibility you were attracted to her? The thought didn’t entirely bother Della. Most of the women in the empire were with other women so it wouldn’t be strange… right?
You often rained down compliments on Della but she hardly responded to them. She was still taciturn and stoic. You often felt as if you were conversing with a rock rather than your self-appointed ‘best friend.’ It made you feel even more lonely as the years went on. Were you doing this all for naught? Would Della still murder you like she would in the book? You hoped not! You still haven’t met your favorite character! The female lead! Except you weren’t the original, naive female lead that would be offed by the villainess…
As the two of you approached adulthood, you promoted her to head maid. Yet she still remained close to your side. You no longer asked her to bathe you or asked for ‘sleepovers,’ you were more lady like now. You also ceased with your compliments to her and her work, a small fact that bothered Della a bit. Didn’t you like her still? Why were you being so different?
Meanwhile you were antsy. The ball was coming up and you’d soon meet the female lead! She was a holy knight and she’d be the one to save the empire from the forces of evil… she was so cool and muscular! A butch from your sapphic dreams! You felt yourself internally fan girl out of excitement. Yet you didn’t want to express that to Della. No, you’d still remain civil with your maid since she didn’t seem to care much for your companionship…
Della brushed your hair as you sat on your stool, your hands in your lap as you hummed a soft tune to yourself.
And that’s when you dropped a bomb on Della. “I really enjoyed Stephanie’s cooking yesterday. Could you ask her to make me food again?” Stephanie? The new cook? What was so great about her cooking that made you praise her? Della was the one who doted on you. Della was the one who always took care of you.
“Ouch!” You jumped when Della accidentally tugged on your hair. “Della, that hurt-“ Your heart stopped in your chest when you glanced up at the look on Della’s face. Her eyes held a murderous glint in them which made you shudder. Oh god… was she going to hurt you?
Della snapped out of it the instant she heard your voice, she quickly bent down to make sure you were okay, but you swatted her hands away. “I’m sorry, Della… I can finish getting ready by myself.”
Della felt her world crash around her. She hadn’t meant to pull your hair… don’t kick her out. Please don’t do this… yet she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She instead, bit her lips and bowed her head to you. She then rushed out of your room in haste. It wasn’t until Della rounded the corner of the hall that one of the other maids pointed out that her lips were bleeding.
Della absentmindedly touched her lips and frowned. Never had she been so emotional… yet all these feelings were brought out by you. Her princess… her princess that she wanted to serve forever.
“Where is Stephanie?” Della softly asked the maid who quirked a brow. The maid told Della the location of the cook in a confused tone, “oh, she’s in the kitchen. Why?” Della just gave the maid a smile. “I just have a message for her is all.”
Yes… she was the head maid so she could use that to her advantage. She’d get the ginger bitch fired. You should only compliment Della. No one else mattered.
You were surprised when a plate was placed in front of you by Della. This wasn’t Stephanie’s cooking… this looked like Della’s. “Oh? What’s this?”
“Your favorite.” Della replied in her usual stiff tone. The maid poured you a cup of your favorite tea as well. Della wasn’t wrong but you couldn’t help but feel a bit suspicious of her. Where was Stephanie? Oh well… you’d eat your meal.
Della’s green eyes studied you as she watched you eat the meal without complaint. Your face scrunched up when the meat had a bit of a strong iron taste to it, but you kept eating. Della played with the bloody bandages on her fingers as her smile grew wide. She hoped you liked the way she tasted. What better way to stay with you forever than to give you some of her blood?
When you retired for the night, Della snuck into your room to lay beside you. Her olive hands snuck under your dress to cup your chest. Her fingers pinched your nipples to see your cute reactions. She hadn’t realized how sensitive you were… did you need her to take care of your body’s needs? She’d do it. Della would do anything you asked of her… just don’t throw her away. Della pushed your dress up as she licked her lips at the sight of your bare body. What a dirty girl you were to not wear undergarments… perhaps she’d teach you a thing or two about being indecent?
You woke up the next day with sore nipples. They were a bit swollen and red and you couldn’t figure out why. You nearly cried when you accidentally touched one. Did you have an allergic reaction to your meal yesterday? No… this was just so odd.
Della dutifully entered your room and began to help you get dressed. Her green eyes filled with satisfaction from her handiwork on your nipples. You seemed so confused… like a little lamb. Della thought it was so cute.
Della began to order the other maids to work far away from you. She needed to get you to alone so she could express her feelings for you properly… so none of the other servants knew she was going to fuck you. She didn’t want any rumors to spread about her darling princess! Della would be a horrible maid if she did that…
You were a bit shocked with how touchy Della was throughout the week. She was stuck to you like a shadow now. And you had yet to see another servant other than Della attend to your needs. You found it so odd…
“Della? Where are all my personal maids?” You asked as you sat on your stool. Della scowled for a brief second before she recovered to her usual icy exterior.
“You only need me, my princess. They’re all inferior.” You froze and turned your body around to look at your maid.
“Pardon?” You’re shocked when Della’s hands grab your face. “D-Della-“
Della presses her lips to yours in a passionate kiss. Her large chest pressed against yours as she pushed you against your vanity. You’re absolutely mind boggled at this development. What was happening?! You thought Della hated you.
“Princess… my princess.” Della whispered against your lips as she reached a hand to undo her bun. Her black curls now cascaded down her back like a cape. “I’m your forever servant and only I can properly fulfill your needs. And I mean all of your needs.”
You gasped when she yanked your legs up onto her shoulders. Your eyes widened in confusion until your face flushed in realization. Della didn’t hate you… Della was obsessed with you.
“So let me please you properly, princess. I swear I won’t disappoint you.”
#female reader#yandere fic#yandere imagine#yandere#yandere maid#yandere lesbian#yandere wlw#Yandere girl#Yandere female#yandere obsession#yandere servant#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere best friend#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader#yandere oc x you#yandere oc x y/n#yandere original character#yandere concept#yandere content#yandere imagines#yandere fantasy#princess reader#Yandere princess#princess x maid#sapphism#sapphic#isekai
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“it was love at every sight.”
(quote: della hicks-wilson)
thank you ⁉️anon for the inspo for this story! ☺️
thank you for reading and enjoy! xx 💋
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆
schlatt groaned.
he didn’t understand why they had to bring this random chick onto the podcast. why couldn’t they have someone on that they BOTH knew?
ted had known her for about a year and a half, and they were best friends. but schlatt would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit jealous of their relationship.
ted had always been close with schlatt, but when the name “y/n” started being thrown around, he felt a pang of jealousy.
he didn’t even know what she looked like, he didn’t bother to look her up on any social media. he didn’t care much for this “y/n” girl.
ted caught onto this attitude of course and had been on his ass about being nice to her. “fake it till you make it!”, is what he had kept telling him. and-
“i’m not fake, i’m the real deal!” is what schlatt dramatically scoffed in response.
however, he decided it wouldn’t look very good on him if he was being rude to a girl in front of thousands of people.
so, he shoved his protests deep down inside, put on his regular persona, and decided to just get the episode over with.
as schlatt sat in the booth of their studio, ted was hurrying around, making the final arrangements to begin the session, when he suddenly stopped in front of schlatt.
“she’ll be here soon, are you ready?” ted arched a brow and stuck his crossed arms in front of his chest.
“do we haveeee tooooo?” schlatt sunk into his seat like a 3 year old in protest over not getting a toy at the store.
“yes schlatt we do, it’s too late to back out.”
“BUT I TRIED TO BACK OUT AND YOU WOULDN’T LET ME!” schlatt cried whilst kicking his feet.
“i owe her, and it’ll be good publicity to have an up and coming on the pod.” ted drops his arms.
“what do you have against her anyways? you haven’t met her, no?”
schlatt would never admit to being jealous. thus, he contemplated the correct response.
“uh- well- i don’t know her. and uh- you know her so well, so i think it’ll be awkward.” schlatt mumbled.
“it won’t! i promise. she’s very easy to get on with.” ted smiles with a pat on his shoulder.
“and who knows, maybe you might like her!”
“yeah right.”
bzzz bzzz
ted jumps and picks his phone up from off the table, swiftly checking it.
“she’s here! be right back.” he walks to the exit before turning around and pointing a finger at the mutton chopped man.
“best behavior young man!”
schlatt puts his arms up in surrender. “relaxxxx. you have nothing to worry about.”
ted swings the door open and mumbles as he walks out, “you better be right about that.”
best behavior? best behavior??
yeah right.
he was going to have EXCELLENT behavior.
he was going to prove ted wrong.
schlatt absentmindedly scrolled through his phone until he heard voices approaching the door. and once the door opened, his eyes shot up.
“here we go.” he thought to himself as he sat up from his toddler-esque slump.
the door clicked open, and in walked ted with-
oh.
oh.
suddenly the whole world around schlatt stopped.
he felt his throat get tight.
his heart began to race.
his palms got all sweaty.
did he look ok?
everything around him got all fuzzy, and she was the only clear thing to him.
she.
who was she?
“earth to schlatt?” ted waved his hands in front of schlatts face.
suddenly he was taken out of his trance.
“yeah-sorry, what?”
ted looked at him with a look mixed with suspicion and confusion.
“this is y/n!” ted presents her to him.
y/n reaches her hand out for him to shake.
“hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you! ted has told me lots much about you.” she beamed at him. schlatt takes her hand and shakes it.
among all of the scattered, racing thoughts in his head, one of the only thoughts that were clear to him was that her hands were soft.
a beat of silence passed before schlatt realized he needed to respond. he looked into her eyes and the faintest, but most genuine smile appeared on his face.
“it’s nice to finally meet you too.”
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
about 45 minutes into the podcast, things were going great- at least in ted’s standards. he was worried schlatt was going to be a prick to her, but he actually had excellent behavior.
that was mainly because throughout the podcast, schlatt had been talking, but not as much be usually would be. and that’s because he was too busy taking in her all in.
it was like he was in a desert and she was his only water source.
he didn’t understand why he felt this way.
he hadn’t felt this was on any of the zoom calls full of girls on the love or host episodes.
he hadn’t felt this way for anyone, not even minx.
schlatt thought he was ok with not being in love or being in a relationship, but apparently he wasn’t?
not to mention, his behavior was unlike his usual self, so it was very noticeable during the recording.
schlatt was beginning to feel that pang of jealously, however, not of y/n. but of ted, and how close he was with her.
as schlatt sat there in his lovestruck trance, he was once again broken out of it by the sound of a soft voice.
“j?” she raised a bow with a confused smile.
J?
J?!?!??!?!
his heart beat faster at that nickname and his cheeks flushed red. why the fuck was he freaking out? it was literally just his name. but nobody has ever called him J before. and-
“sorry, what’s up?”
ted snorted at this, beginning to catch on to this behavior from his dear friend.
and she just let her brows fall into a worried position, all the while keeping a smile plastered across her face.
“i said,” a light blush spreading across her cheeks, “do you think you would ever go on another love or host episode? i was asked by austin recently to have a go at it.”
his heart stopped for a split second.
for some reason, he couldn’t bare the thought of other guys having a chance with her. but then again, what if he was a contestant? what if he had a chance to win her over? what if-
“hmmmmmmmm. i suppose it depends on who id be competing for.” schlatt leaned back in the booth, manspreading.
“i second that.” she points in schlatt’s direction.
ted grins. (mwahahaha type grin)
“you know,” ted leans towards y/n, “i’m sure if you went on, schlatt would be a contestant.” ted flashes a shit eating grin at schlatt.
schlatt turns red and flashes him a look of “oh my fucking god i’m going to fucking kill your fucking dumbass.”
quickly recovering, schlatt scoffs with a “yeahhh righttt. i barely know this broad!”
“yeah well, im sure you’ll know each other well enough soon.” ted smirks and busts out laughing by himself.
what was he doing??
twitter was going to go feral.
schlatt glances over and accidentally makes eye contact with her. but surprisingly, she holds it.
and in the midst of the ugly laughter from their shared best friend, a big, genuine smile, spreads across their cheeks.
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
after the episode is wrapped up and everyone is getting ready to leave, schlatt is sitting back at the booth on his phone.
he looks up from his phone and immediately feels his heart beat hard again.
y/n had walked up to him.
“so uh- i was thinking.” she looks down at her feet, that are rocking back between her toes and heels, then back up at him.
“i was thinking we could make a good team to gang up on ted. y’know- get revenge for today.” she’s wearing a small smile, one that suggests that she’s nervous.
schlatt nervousness falters at this and pushes up his confidence to try to make her feels better.
“i was actually thinking the same thing.”
“great minds think alike.” she lets out a giggle.
“right right. well then, you’re going to have to give me your number toots so that we can have a constant source of communication. all good teams communicate after all, right?”
and with that, they exchanged numbers, a smile , and she went back to her hotel.
ted locked the studio, and the pair made their way out to schlatt’s corvette.
and finally.
finally, ted got something out of his system he’d been waiting alllllll day to get out.
“told ya you’d like her.”
#schlatt fluff#chuckle sandwich#jschlatt#jschlatt x reader#jschlatt x you#schlatt x reader#jschlatt x y/n
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The Misogyny of It All
So a lot of Della Duck Discourse is rehashed all the time, points are made again and again, but one thing that I almost never see people defend -and conversely, see people attack all the time- is The Line.
You know what I'm talking about. The Line from Glomtales.
"Your plans, your schemes, they only lead to bad things for your family. If you want to be a part of this family, you've gotta stop."
That one.
Now, what exactly Della was trying to get across with that line is a whole other can of worms that deserves its own post (basically she -and also the writers- horribly failed her Speech check).
What we're going over here is how that mimics a certain line from the last season, said by a parental figure to a child, that gets so much less flack. That, in fact, often gets paraded around as 'an interesting twist on a character.'
"You are not family!"
I have never seen people attack this line with the same amount of vitriol as they attack Della's, which is funny when they're the exact same line.
Actually, not even that- Scrooge's is worse.
It's more direct, it's literally yelled at Webby, it doesn't even attempt to address the issue Scrooge had (Webby blaming him for what happened to Della) and instead just straight-up attacks her as a person.
Now, to be fully honest- I like this line! I do genuinely think it's an interesting route for Scrooge to take, and is quite realistic to the grumpy old bastard. It's just funny that nobody ever comes to Webby's defense the same way they do for Louie.
Because the thing is- between Webby and Louie, one of these two has genuine, canonical issues with feeling like they're not a part of the family, like they're an outsider amongst those they love the most, like they don't belong.
And it's not Louie.
It is a consistent part of Webby's characterization that she feels like she doesn't belong. This gets touched on in all three seasons (and honestly, it could be argued that it gets worse after this moment).
Conversely, that just is not a part of Louie's canonical characterization. Even in the first episode of season 2, the one where Louie gets the closest to an 'I don't belong in this family' moment, it's less 'I don't belong here' and more 'fuck me I am terrible at adventuring'. And! It gets resolved in that episode!
(Of course, there is absolutely something to be said for how it's resolved- specifically by Scrooge encouraging him to be a scheming little bastard, which then thusly becomes the thing that threatens his family the most. Which would, logically, be a pretty big blow to his self-esteem. This isn't what I'm here to discuss right now but it is genuinely interesting.)
Louie never really shows an issue with feeling like he doesn't belong in his family. He shows a disconnect with his family at times, but in canon that never really evolves into a full-blown feeling of displacement. It does get close in Glomtales, but never quite reaches it.
So it's 'interesting' (read: not interesting) that Scrooge's fuckup here gets brushed away pretty easily. A lot of the time the line just straight-up isn't addressed, and when it is, often times it's about how "Oh he apologized to Webby offscreen, obviously."
Which.
Not he did not.
I mean, let me be clear: I don't mind it when that's the answer. It works for me to just brush it away if it's not meant to be the focus...
But Scrooge almost certainly didn't apologize for it.
As 'New Gods on the Block!' Showed us, Scrooge is downright awful at realizing when his actions have hurt people.
More likely than not, Scrooge would just assume that everything is fine and would avoid bringing it up at all costs because he'd feel awkward about it. Because he is, very importantly, not good at talking about things he doesn't want to talk about.
So why is it that Louie is always the one feeling like he doesn't belong? Why is it Della who is always a terrible parent for what she's said? Why are Webby's feelings of disconnect never really given the same gravity as Louie's? Why is Scrooge's blunder let off the hook super easily?
It just feels silly to me.
And, well.
Kinda like the fact that, since Scrooge is a guy and Webby's a girl, and Della is a woman and Louie's a boy, has something to do with it.
I'll happily give the benefit of the doubt and assume it's not deliberate, but quite frankly it is a double standard.
I think that people would be less upset with the Della Duck Discourse if Scrooge was held in a similarly critical position over what he's said and done. If it was acknowledged that Della isn't uniquely awful in what she says and does, and that a lot of the others have fucked up in extremely similar ways.
(I mean for fuck's sake, everybody goes on and on about how Della left her kids for ten years -which, for the record, wasn't what she wanted to do- but nobody ever criticizes Donald for taking the kids away from their family and never talking to them about Della- which is something he actively and deliberately chose to do)
TL;DR: The fact that Della gets intensely criticized for what she's said and done, but Donald and Scrooge are conversely celebrated as 'interesting' and 'complex' for what they've said and done, even when it brings harm to the kids, is a blatant double-standard. And if you don't think that this double-standard is bad or wrong for existing (or even that it Doesn't Actually Exist), instead of immediately claiming that it's a non-issue, maybe try to look inward and figure out why you really think that is.
#ducktales#dt17#della duck#honestly if any of the triplets have a 'I don't belong here' complex it's dewey#like that's his whole season 1 arc#the fact that he feels like he doesn't quite belong in his family#and isn't sure if he WANTS to belong#which everyone instead makes Louie's arc#which is actually more 'I want to be rich because being poor sucked ass'#there's more depth to it than that but that's the gist of it
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ART DECO — one shot.
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
MASTERLIST.
taglist: @lorarri @lpab @whatthefuckerr @noncannonships @lunnnix @elliegrey2803 @schumacheer @saintslewis @leoramage @ellswilliams @toomuchdelusion @anthonykatebridgerton @enhacolor @gulabjamoon @woweewoowa @forza55
request: “📀 — "art deco" by Lana Del Rey + Charles Leclerc please?”
NOTE: this has some drinking mentions, so if you don’t feel comfortable with that pls don’t read! cant believe carlos got pole in monza… the chances of ferrari actually getting a 1-2 are higher so yk what maybe this fic could become somewhat less fictional! MONZA IS FOR THE DREAMERS🙏
liked by charles_leclerc, patriciooward and 681,329 others
yourusername partay in italay
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charlesfan1 charles teach us your ways🙏
ynfan1 suddenly i’m gay
charles_leclerc You drunk enough for the both of us
⤷ yourusername i regret everything
ynfan2 now i wanna go out too
ynfan3 this weekend better give her a reason to party too
pierregasly How’s the hungover?
⤷ yourusername made me consider never drinking again
charlesfan2 as a tifosi i’m glad charles’s good luck charm is here
charlesfan3 i wish i looked that good after getting drunk
charlesfan4 not her partying when it’s race week
⤷ ynfan4 not u being pressed when charles was right there with her😭
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charles.jpg pasta con il mio amore
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yourusername l'amore della mia vita the love of my life
⤷ charles_leclerc Sono pazzo di te I’m crazy about you
⤷ carlossainz55 Stop pretending you speak italian, Y/N🙄
⤷ yourusername i speak more than you for sure. and i don’t drive for ferrari.
⤷ carlossainz55 Too far.
leclerc_pascale ❤️
⤷ charles.jpg Je t'aime tellement maman I love you so much mum
⤷ yourusername tu nous manques énorm��ment 🫶 we miss you very much
pierregasly Ohhh italian 🤌🤌
⤷ charles.jpg Zitto Shut up
⤷ pierregasly 🤨
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yourusername red party because FERRARI WON!!!!
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charlesfan31 i just love the caption only being about ferrari winning😭 she’s just like me fr
charlesfan32 the tifosi celebrating was insane actually
charles_leclerc Il mio più grande sostenitore ❤️ My biggest supporter
⤷ yourusername ti amo per sempre!!! i love you forever
ynfan31 don’t even watch f1 but i’m crying for them
charlesfan33 forget charles i want her
charlesfan34 Y/N YOU NEED TO COME TO MORE RACES!!
⤷ yourusername I WILL!!!
⤷ charlesfan34 every tifosi in the world just cheered
ynfan32 oh she ate
charlesfan35 bro i’m in love with her
ynfan33 ONE CHANCE. ALL I NEED.
ynfan34 red is so her colour!!!! ferrari pls get more 1-2 races🙏
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yourusername a little party never hurt no one!
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charles_leclerc It hurts us… but whatever you say, mon amour
⤷ yourusername shhhhh
ynfan41 that blanket looks so comfy
ynfan42 i just know that sleep slapped
charlesfan41 honestly think they could’ve partied more but they stopped bc they would’ve collapsed
⤷ yourusername trust the party hasn’t stopped, we’re just moving it💪
⤷ carlossainz55 We’re partying until the next race!
⤷ yourusername THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR CARLITOS
ynfan43 who knows the next time there will be a ferrari 1-2😭
charlesfan42 if i were them i would party 24/7
ynfan44 LOOK AT HOW CHARLES LOOKS AT HER THO
charlesfan43 i just know charles is a great cuddler
#*ੈ✩༄ my works !#── my 2k celly#charles leclerc#addison rae#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc social media au#charles leclerc smau#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 social media au#f1 smau#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 social media au#formula 1 smau
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oral fixation | astarion a.
summary: he loves your lips. especially when they’re so eagerly wrapped around him. genre(s): erotica, romance warning(s): female anatomy described, oral fixation, face-fucking, bj, jealousy, possessiveness, bodily fluids, choking, cum-eating, brief dacryphilia, explicit language, alcohol and tobacco use (hookah), blood drinking now playing: criminal - taemin notes: please thank @nanaoise08squad for helping me write this! also, please let me know if i missed any warnings! hope you enjoy, lovelies! screenshot credit
Lips.
Your lips.
They’re his favorite—if anyone ever bothered to ask what he enjoys most about your body.
Well, other than the devastating clench of your pussy, of course.
They’re pillow-soft. Thick. Flushed like rose petals. Cute when they’re pulled into that warm smile.
Alluring, stretched into a thin line as you glare at your enemies.
Exquisite, stained with blood and bruises and split—he can’t help wanting to lick them whenever he sets his eyes on them, even in the heat of battle.
Perfect and sweltering, curled around him. Dribbling with globs of spit and pre-spend as you take him down your throat. His favorite of all. And those pretty, garbled sounds you release when he presses deeper, testing your gag reflexes, amplifies his love for them.
Your sinfully gorgeous lips.
Gods.
Astarion bites his lip, threatening to draw blood.
He observes you through the wispy haze of tobacco smoke staining the lounge, trained on every twitch and spasm of your mouth beneath the dulled lighting. Every smile, every scowl. Every dart of your tongue from betwixt them, chasing wine that glides down the corners.
Your tongue leaves a sheen of saliva in its wake. Astarion swallows thickly. Unconsciously flashes back to how you make his cock gleam like that. Glistening and flushed an angry red when you release him with a lewd pop after swallowing him down like a fucking pro.
Astarion shudders, his eyes rolling into the backs of their sockets. His fingernails pull at the plush, crimson cushions beneath him, a groan trying to make itself known.
You’ll be the death of him; he’s sure of it.
Astarion sulks, swirling the contents of his goblet, brows weighed down in the middle by something like irritation.
You’re doing this on purpose. Enticing him. Vexing him. Your eyes occasionally find him across the lounge. Twinkle with mischief below bowed lashes before flitting back to your company. Company he wishes would piss off.
He can think of better ways to occupy your mouth that don’t involve meaningless conversation.
However, everyone’s gathered around you to celebrate the famed Hero of Baldur’s Gate. Despite Astarion’s protests, you insisted on staying.
You are a beacon of hope. An idol perched on a plinth, the Madonna della Pietà. Who would he be to steal you away from your adoring fans?
He just wishes his trousers weren’t so unbearably tight. Wishes he wasn’t straining against the seam of them, throbbing and pulsing with beads of pre-cum staining the thick material. Plagued by memories of the beautiful sounds he evokes from your mouth instead of your airy laughter filling his head once again.
Astarion crosses his legs with a petulant sigh and shoves a pillow onto his lap to mask his growing need. Quietly simmers, downing what remains in his cup. He swipes the back of his hand across his chin to clean up errant dribbles of wine, uncaring of how unsightly he must appear.
He’s in no mood for pleasantries. No mood to entertain others, waving off the belly dancers who try vainly to charm him with the wind of their hips. He’s too busy boring holes into the arm draped about your shoulders—one of your fans getting a little too cozy.
If looks could kill, he would’ve murdered this imbecile a thousand times over.
His vision glosses red when the man’s thumb swipes at the corner of your lips under the pretense of cleaning off some wine.
“There you go, lass,” he murmurs, the rough pad of his thumb grazing your chin. “Good as new. And still just as pretty.”
There’s no mistaking the gleam in his eye. The lecherous cant of his lips. A look Astarion knows all too well, having pinned you with it so many times himself.
You chuckle something tense, finding Astarion’s gaze through the discord.
Astarion moves on instinct. Soundless as a panther, pushing through the harem of dancers that had gathered around him. Parts through the revelers assembled at your feet, and they look up at him with varying degrees of alarm.
With an abrasive sound pinched from his lungs, Astarion plucks you from the settee with a possessive hand encircling your wrist. Murmurs a curt excuse us, daring the man who touched you to protest with a predatory glare over his shoulder.
The hairs of your neck stand ramrod stiff. A pleasant, cooling sensation pools in your belly. Trickles southward into your underwear, and you throb.
You do so love it when he gets like this. Green-eyed and seething.
You bid the other patrons farewell, unable to disguise the sinister arc of your lips. Toddle behind your beloved, your body still buzzing from the wine, your head still spinning from the nicotine. Astarion finally tugs you beneath layers of sheer, burgundy curtains, far from the grasp of the lounge’s other clients.
“Astarion,” you gasp as the world twists around you, and he pulls your stumbling, giggling self before him.
You’ve hardly any time to admire your surroundings, the swell of sound from the longue muddled and blotted out by the clipped growl rumbling in Astarion’s chest.
You only have the gleam of his irises and the flash of his teeth as warnings before you tumble backward onto a mass of pillows, shoved into them by your beloved. You clamber to your elbows, breaths labored, pupils dilated. Again, you’re pushed into the satiny cushions as Astarion crawls overtop, fingers winding around your jaw and neck to hold you in place for him to ravage you.
He slots himself between your legs, and it’s like he’s always been there. Feasts on your mouth, pushing past the barrier of your teeth in pursuit of your tongue, thumb pressing against your larynx. He pours the most relieved sound between your lips when he finds it. Entices it into an ardent dance, and Gods, you’re so warm and wet here. He can’t help how he bears down, hips rolling like waves licking the shoreline as he presses against the stitching of your breeches.
You moan in tandem, and the air punches from your lungs, the heels of your feet digging into his back as you twine your legs around his waist.
His other hand pulls and bunches up your clothing in search of the supple glide of your skin. Groans something satisfied when the hardened pads of his fingertips find the xylophone of your rib cage, easing upward. He grazes the underside of your breast, and he kneads and rolls your nipple with slow, meticulous circles, luring the prettiest little whine from your throat.
“Astarion,” you recite, clawing at the bindings of his breeches. It’s the sweetest supplication to his ears to hear you begging so wantonly for him. To see he isn’t the only one who missed the hot press of your body to his.
He abandons your mouth to blister your neck with kisses, fangs nipping at your clavicle, thumbs cruising down the dip of your stomach in search of your hips whilst you arch your back. He sighs around your nipple when your soft hands close around the head of his cock, tugging and squeezing, your thumbs generous as they spread pre-spend around him. Instinctively, Astarion ruts into the scorching clasp of your hands, breathing hot against your flesh, rolling your other nipple between lithe fingers.
It’s almost embarrassing how desperately he yearns for you. How he leaks and whimpers while you fist him, and his canines sink into the doughy flesh of your tit, pulling a yelp from your mouth. He licks over the wounds in apology, hips pinning your waist to the floor. He’s dizzied and overwhelmed, and the wind of your waist isn’t helping matters.
The succulent tang of your blood provokes his tastebuds, and his hips paint a rhythm of their own volition as he pistons against you. He glances up whilst your head crashes into the pillows, your lips glistening and parting with a breath, and your lids shuttered against the wave of ecstasy sifting through your spine.
“Astarion,” you breathe, pulling so nicely on his cock. Swallow. “Astarion, please. My mouth. Need, I—you…want you in my mouth.”
How sweet you sound, begging for your mouth to be stretched wide and violated. The jumble of your words is endearing. Usually, Astarion would tease you for your impatience. But he hasn’t the tolerance to, having gone without your lips sucking him in for days.
Astarion pants, scrambling to his knees, straddling your shoulders, and tugging his breeches down, down, down until his impressive girth springs free of its confines. It slaps intimidatingly against his abdominals, a pretty, gossamer string of pre dribbling from the slit towards your chin, and his cock twitches at your eagerness.
There’s reverence in your stare. Hunger as your mouth opens and closes, and your perfect body squirms beneath him, anticipation lancing through you. You squeeze your thighs together to ward off the delicious, sparkling rush of endorphins collecting between them.
You watch as Astarion handles himself, his hand swallowing up the bulk of his cock whilst he pumps himself, head thrown back, the tendons of his neck flexing.
He groans something feral and desperate, his cock grinding against the hot, sticky pucker of your lips.
“Fuck,” he breathes. “Fuck, darling. Open your mouth. Now.”
He spares you a few more stuttered rolls of his pelvis. Taps the turgid flesh of his cock against your tongue before feeding the swollen, sensitive head between your lips.
“Oh, Gods,” Astarion sighs. Draws back, his body shivering as your mouth releases him with an obscene pop. You flitter your tongue over the slit, chasing the briny edge of pre-cum.
He peers down at you through furled lashes, irises smoldering like liquid spilled over hot coals. He chuckles something breathy, easing back into the hot suction of your mouth.
“Eager, aren’t we, darling?” he husks. Cheeky as he drives himself deeper until your jaw clicks, your eyes roll back, and your whimper vibrates around him.
Your pussy clenches, and you undulate your hips off the floor. Grip the taut globes of Astarion’s ass, urging him further inside until he agitates your gag reflexes.
Your throat constricts around him, a fist-like vice that brings him barreling forward onto his hands. And he’s a pretty, panting mess hovering over you, alabaster curls falling over his eyes, sweat gliding down the tips, brows creased in anguish.
He gives you minimal time to adjust before taking a fistful of your hair and pinning it to the pillows, keeping you in place so he can fuck into your mouth.
Slowly, he draws his hips backward until only the head rests on the palate of your tongue. You whine petulantly before Astarion pushes back in, building a steady tempo thereafter, your lips stretching so wonderfully to accommodate him each time.
His mouth forms around silent ohs. Breaths choppy as he fucks your face, and saliva meddled with pre-spend bubbles on your cheeks.
Your eyes gloss over with tears, your throat rubbed raw, jaw aching. But you squeeze his ass ever tighter, urging him to use you. To chase that cresting wave of pleasure. You could die like this, with his cock distending your throat and your pussy weeping and begging to be stuffed.
“Gods, fuck, fuck, fuck,” chants your lover. His hips stutter, and his cock throbs on your tongue, fingers gripping your hair in a way that’s almost bruising. You know he’s nearing his peak, and you take to kneading his weighted, tight balls to help steer him to the edge.
It takes but a few more thrusts into the opulent warmth of your mouth before he paints your throat in thick, syrupy steaks of white. He pushes a groan through clenched teeth, eyes screwed shut whilst he cranes his neck back, exhaling his release.
You choke, the hot rush of tears blistering your cheeks. But Astarion holds your mouth in place as you thoroughly milk him, dumping the last vestiges of his cum down your throat.
He slowly unsheathes himself. Crawls down to straddle your hips, petting through the riot of your hair and drawing your swollen mouth into an apologetic kiss. He tenderly entwines your tongues together, the briny tang of his cum coaxing a moan from him.
Astarion rolls onto his back beside you, giving you time to catch your breath. And with your lashes dewy and wet and your lips abused, you chuckle something satisfied. Astarion looks at you warily before laughing himself, seeking out your hand to lace your fingers together.
“I should make you jealous more often,” you muse once your laughter peters. You roll onto your side, propped on your elbow, cheek perched on your hand whilst you run your finger down the length of his arm. A cattish grin rounds your lips.
Astarion scoffs, avoiding your stare. “Jealous? Me?”
You give him a pointed look.
He flinches beneath the weight of your glare, a nervous smile twitching his lips. “Well…maybe just a little.”
You sit like this for a while longer, admiring the flutter of his lashes and the peachy hue of his cheeks. Finally, he breaks the comfortable silence, pinning you with a scarlet-spun gaze.
“We should go.” Astarion slowly sits up, a smirk taking residence on his lips as he tugs you into the circle of his arms. “I’ve much more in store for you, my love. Things I can’t be bothered to do…here.”
You shiver at the thought, boneless as your lover hauls you to your feet. You fix your clothes and hair as best you can before Astarion leads you back to the main lounge, twin smiles adorning your lips.
Astarion swings by the bar to drop some coin onto the counter to pay for your drinks. Catches the eye of the man who’d had his arm around you earlier, and his mind sparkles with a sinister idea.
He draws you against him, your breath coming out in a gasp before he takes possession of your cheeks and lures you into a soul-siphoning kiss. One of tongues and teeth and sloppiness, and you find your thighs rubbing together again to curb the insistent throb between them.
You whimper into his mouth, and Astarion fixes the man with a sinister look over your shoulder as he grips your ass and squeezes. Something of a warning, a threat.
Touch her again, and I’ll have your head on a pike.
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#astarion x reader#astarion x you#astarion x tav#astarion x female reader#astarion x female tav#astarion imagine#astarion smut#bg3 fanfiction#astarion fanfic#astarion
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I Hate It When You're Drunk - 8
Character: bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Princess!Reader
Summary: A forbidden romance between a princess and her bodyguard leads to a dramatic wedding, but their happiness is soon overshadowed by political intrigue and betrayal, testing their love and resolve.
I Hate It When You're Drunk Series Masterlist
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The empty hall echoed with the sound of heels clicking against the marble floor and the frantic rhythm of heavy breathing. Someone was running.
You sprinted as fast as you could toward where Bucky was. The gunshot had come from the changing room where Bucky had been just moments ago. You had barely finished changing from your wedding dress into another gown for the reception when the noise tore through the air, sending a chill down your spine.
Your heart pounded in your chest, fear clawing at your insides. Did your father have a change of heart? Was Bucky in danger?
As you reached Bucky's room, you gasped at the sight before you. Bucky was on the floor, cradling a man's lifeless body in his lap. The scene was eerily reminiscent of The Madonna della Pietà, with Bucky's anguished face mirroring the sorrow of the famed sculpture.
"What’s going on?" you asked, breathless and desperate for answers.
King Leonard turned to you, his expression cold and calculated. “Another rat snuck in, trying to harm James. But our new head of security, Isaac, took care of it.”
Isaac, who had discreetly concealed his gun, straightened his suit with a calm, practiced elegance. He bowed slightly in your direction. “The safety of the royal family is my top priority,” he said smoothly, his voice carrying a detached professionalism.
"I see," you replied, trying to mask the turmoil swirling inside you. "Could you leave us alone, please?"
“Of course.” King Leonard snapped his fingers, summoning another guard who swiftly moved to lift the lifeless body from Bucky's lap.
Your husband remained silent, his face a mask of shock and disbelief.
As Leonard and the others prepared to leave, he glanced back at you both. “Don’t keep our guests waiting too long,” he warned, before directing his gaze at Bucky. “Change your clothes,” he added, his tone leaving no room for argument. Then, with a final, authoritative nod, he exited the room.
Bucky slowly stood up, his movements heavy and dazed. You reached out to steady him, noticing the blood splattered across his suit. A wave of dread washed over you; this was surely a bad omen—someone had died on your wedding day.
“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” you asked, your voice trembling with concern as you gently touched his arm.
Bucky shook his head, his eyes distant. “No, I’m fine,” he muttered, still in a daze. “I should get changed.” He moved toward the wardrobe, where a spare suit had been prepared for him.
As he changed, he remained silent, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. The shock of seeing Isaac—the man he had once trusted—turning traitor was still too much to process. Isaac, who had seemed so loyal and full of hatred for the king, had betrayed them all.
“Who was he?” you asked softly, hoping to break through Bucky's silence.
Bucky snapped back to the present, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before looking away. “Just like the king said, another assassin,” he replied, his voice flat and devoid of emotion.
“I’ve known you for too long,” you said quietly, your eyes fixed on Bucky. “I know when you’re lying.”
He flinched at your words, the truth of them hitting home. He sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly as he walked toward you. “It’s true that someone tried to kill me,” he admitted, his voice low and strained.
You stared at him in disbelief. “You? Why would someone try to kill you?”
He shrugged, a casual gesture that didn’t match the gravity of the situation. “I managed to put him down and wanted to ask him some questions, but the new head of security shot the assassin before I could,” he said, letting the half-truth slip from his lips. He hoped it would be enough to satisfy your curiosity.
“Let’s go,” Bucky added, extending his arm to you. “We can’t keep the guests waiting too long.”
Realizing he wasn’t going to share more, you sighed inwardly and looped your arm through his. Together, you walked down the long hallway, your footsteps echoing in the vast space.
As you walked, the image of the lifeless body being carried out of the room replayed in your mind. You kept your expression neutral; under your father’s tyrannical rule, you had seen more than your share of death and had faced countless assassination attempts yourself. You had lost count of the number of times you’d almost died, only to be saved by Bucky’s quick actions.
But this assassin—this man—had looked different. He wasn’t like the trained killers you were used to seeing. He had looked malnourished, haggard, dirty. An assassin should be stealthy, composed, deadly—a shadow that could move unseen. But this man had been anything but. His appearance raised more questions than answers.
You gritted your teeth, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. What was going on? The day wasn’t even over, and already your husband was hiding things from you.
Finally, the two of you reached the large double doors leading to the reception hall. The head butler, standing tall and formal, bowed before opening the doors with a flourish. His voice rang out in a clear announcement, “Your Highness, Princess Y/N and Duke James Buchanan Barnes.”
'Duke.' Bucky could hardly believe it. He had been given a royal title—a position he never thought he’d occupy. As he stepped into the grand hall and saw everyone rise from their seats and bow, a strange feeling washed over him. In the past, he would have been among them, standing to show respect or remaining still like a sentinel. But now, everything felt different. The weight of his new role pressed on him, heavy and unrelenting.
The room was filled with dignitaries and high-ranking officials, all eyes fixed on the two of you. As you made your way to your designated seats near King Leonard, Bucky couldn’t help but feel a mix of discomfort and disbelief.
You took your seat next to your father, the tyrant king, while Bucky sat beside you. You could feel the tension radiating from him, his jaw clenched and his hands resting stiffly on his lap.
Leonard stood from his seat, lifting his champagne glass high, and the room fell silent in anticipation of his words. His gaze swept over the gathered guests, and his voice, deep and commanding, filled the hall.
“To my daughter, Y/N, and her husband, James Buchanan Barnes,” he began, his expression a mix of pride and authority. “Today, we celebrate not just the union of two hearts, but the unity and strength this marriage brings to our nation. May your lives together be filled with loyalty, love, and an unwavering commitment to our great kingdom. To the happy couple!”
“To the happy couple!” echoed the guests as they raised their glasses and drank to the toast.
The reception started in a formal, reserved manner, with dignitaries and high-ranking officials mingling and offering their congratulations. But soon, the atmosphere shifted, becoming more lively and animated. Laughter and chatter filled the room, and the formal lines began to blur as the guests relaxed.
Your friends surrounded you with warm smiles and excited chatter, each of them eager to share their well-wishes. One of them leaned in with a grin, her eyes sparkling. “Your dress is absolutely stunning, Y/N! It’s already gone viral online—everyone’s talking about it!”
Another friend chimed in, laughing, “And let’s not forget about Bucky! He looks so dashing in his uniform; he’s gaining a whole new fanbase!”
Their enthusiasm and joy were infectious, and you found yourself smiling, momentarily caught up in the happiness around you. It reminded you of why you had wanted this day so much—the joy, the celebration, the love shared with friends and family.
As you glanced across the room, you noticed Bucky deep in conversation with Archer, the Defense Minister, and several other military officials, easily identifiable by their uniforms. A pang of sadness tugged at your heart. Bucky didn’t have many friends here; most of the people surrounding him were tied to duty and obligation rather than friendship.
“Champagne, ladies?” Cassian suddenly appeared beside you, a tray of champagne flutes balanced effortlessly in his hand.
Your friends eagerly took a glass, and Cassian gave you a knowing smile. “Ladies, could you give us a moment? I have something to say to the bride.”
“Of course,” one of your friends replied, and they moved away, leaving you alone with Cassian.
Once you were alone, Cassian offered you a fresh bottle of champagne with a sly grin. “Care for a drink straight from the bottle?”
You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Are you trying to make me look like a fool?”
Cassian smirked. “Just trying to help you forget your misery. Marriage troubles already, right after the vows?”
Your glare was sharp, and Cassian chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. “I’ve been to a lot of weddings,” he continued, “and usually, the couple is inseparable at the reception. But you two? It’s like you’re miles apart.” He shook his head, feigning disappointment.
“Shut your mouth, or I’ll have you deported,” you snapped, half-joking but serious enough to wipe the smirk off his face.
Cassian raised an eyebrow, still smiling. “You actually have that power, you know.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Are you challenging me?”
His smile widened. “Only if you become queen.”
You rolled your eyes in exasperation and turned away, heading toward Bucky, who was still engaged in conversation with Archer.
As you approached, Archer’s tone was low and serious. “What kind of mess have you gotten yourself into, Bucky? Who was that dead man?”
Bucky sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s a long story. It’ll take time to explain everything.”
“Bucky,” you called softly as you reached them.
Archer immediately bowed. “Your Highness,” he said respectfully before stepping away to give you privacy.
“What were you two talking about?” you asked, your curiosity piqued by their hushed conversation.
Bucky offered a tight smile. “Just some military matters, nothing to worry about.”
“Oh,” you replied, feeling a mix of relief and frustration. You wanted to know more but could see he wasn’t in the mood to share. Your hand instinctively reached for his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, hoping to reassure him that you were there, ready to support him.
A commotion erupted outside the grand hall, shattering the festive atmosphere of the wedding reception. The heavy wooden doors suddenly swung open with a loud creak, and a group of people entered. Every head turned, gasps filling the room as the guests took in the sight. The newcomers were dressed entirely in black, their faces obscured by black veils that covered them from head to toe.
You and Bucky exchanged bewildered glances, neither of you recognizing the mysterious figures.
Leonard, his face contorted with anger and suspicion, barked, “Guards!”
At his command, the royal guards quickly assembled, forming a tight circle around the intruders, their hands resting on the hilts of their swords, ready for any sudden movements.
The figure at the front, clearly the leader, stepped forward with a slow, deliberate grace. A soft, yet firm voice emerged from beneath the veil, a voice that was unmistakably familiar. “It’s been a long time, Leonard.”
Your heart skipped a beat. You whispered, almost to yourself, “It can’t be…”
The woman in black continued, her voice calm but resolute. “I have no hatred, Leonard. I’ve come only to offer my blessings to my niece.”
She moved forward with an elegant stride, and the tension in the room seemed to make every step echo louder than it should. The guards hesitated, unsure whether to stop her. Her presence seemed to command an unspoken respect, and slowly, they parted to let her pass.
Even now, after all Leonard’s tyranny, the former queen’s influence lingered like a haunting memory. Alicia Svensson, the former queen of Veridian, the widow of your uncle, who was murdered by Leonard in his ruthless rise to power. All of his siblings and their families had perished, except for Alicia. On that bloody day, she had been away, visiting her ailing father in her homeland.
She was fortunate to have survived, but she lost her husband and sons. The grief drove her to madness, and she vowed never to return to Veridian, the land that had taken everything from her.
But here she was, walking through the hall with a quiet authority that silenced the room. Her steps, though soft, seemed to echo with the power of her past. Alicia stopped in front of you and Bucky, her veil still obscuring her face.
“I still remember both of you running through my gardens,” she said, her voice tinged with a melancholy that cut through the silence.
Memories flooded back—days of playing in her lush gardens, carefree and happy, under her watchful, loving eyes. Her sons, you, other kids, and Bucky are playing together. Before Leonard’s betrayal shattered everything.
Steeling yourself, you took a step forward, trying to hold back tears. “Aunt, thank you for coming,” you said softly, reaching out as if to embrace her.
But as you got closer, Alicia leaned in, her voice dropping to a whisper only you could hear. “I pity you, dear. You, who know nothing or are too ignorant.” Her long nails grazed your skin, cold and sharp.
You flinched, pulling back, your eyes wide with shock and confusion.
She made the sign of the cross and prayed aloud, “I pray that you will one day replace your father and become a better ruler.”
Leonard’s patience snapped, his face red with fury. “You insolent woman!”
But Alicia was unfazed. “You can’t touch me, Leonard. I am here as a diplomatic guest,” she said, her voice steady and defiant.
Leonard’s lips curled into a sneer. “Then my guards will drag you and your servants out of this house.”
At his command, the guards moved in, roughly grabbing Alicia and her entourage, escorting them toward the exit.
Leonard turned to Bucky, his expression cold. “Make sure they leave the premises immediately.”
Bucky nodded, his face a mask of stoicism. “Yes, sir.”
As the uninvited guests were escorted out, the tension in the room slowly began to dissipate. The remaining guests murmured among themselves, shocked and curious about what had just transpired.
Leonard, ever the manipulator, raised his voice to calm the crowd. “Nothing to worry about, my friends. Please, enjoy yourselves! More champagne, wine, and food!”
But for you, the festive atmosphere was gone. The shooting, the death, and now Aunt Alicia’s ominous appearance—it all felt like a bad omen, a dark shadow over what should have been a joyous day.
With everyone preoccupied and the focus shifting back to Leonard, you found a moment to slip away unnoticed. Grabbing the bottle of champagne that Cassian had offered earlier, you quietly left the ballroom, your footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.
The hall was dimly lit by the moon’s pale glow, casting long, eerie shadows on the stone walls. You walked slowly, lost in your thoughts, replaying the events of the day over and over in your mind. Once you were far enough away, you pulled out the cork with a loud pop and brought the bottle to your lips, drinking deeply. The cold liquid burned slightly as it went down, but it wasn’t enough to drown the turmoil inside you.
One bottle wouldn’t be enough to make you forget. Perhaps you’d find another, or a third, to numb the pain of this day’s bitter revelations.
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